QAA - PERVERTS Episode 9: Goop feat Anna Merlan (Sample)
Aired: 2024-02-20
Duration: 09:30


=== Morning Lemon, Noon Broth (03:04) ===

[00:00:00]  *moaning* Sex.
[00:00:05]  *outro music* I'm Julian Field.
[00:00:16]  I'm Liv Agar.
[00:00:17]  And this is the Perverts Podcast, where we venture into horny online subcultures and take you along for the ride.
[00:00:23]  So what's your wellness routine look like now?
[00:00:25]  A day in the life of JF?
[00:00:27]  Well, as you may or may not know, I am a full disciple of Dr. Will Cole.
[00:00:31]  I'm paleo.
[00:00:32]  So in keeping with what Will Cole prescribed live, I eat dinner early in the evening.
[00:00:36]  I try to eat 6 or 6.30 so I'm really done eating by 7.
[00:00:40]  And then I do a nice intermittent fast until I usually eat something at about 12.
[00:00:44]  Well, in the morning I'll have some things that won't spike my blood sugar, right?
[00:00:48]  So I have coffee, I'll have celery juice with lemon, lemon water, but I really just use the morning.
[00:00:53]  And for me, it's important because, as you know, I have trouble with methylation.
[00:00:57]  So my body is not a natural detoxer.
[00:00:59]  I'm not good at it.
[00:01:00]  A lot of people, it's absolutely a part of their biology and process.
[00:01:04]  I'm not one of those people.
[00:01:05]  So I get impacted by things more heavily.
[00:01:07]  And then I exercise in the morning.
[00:01:08]  I take my binders in the morning.
[00:01:09]  I take binders for, again, like poor methylation.
[00:01:12]  I'm still dealing with some mold, even though it's probably good by now.
[00:01:15]  I would think it's in the past.
[00:01:17]  I think it's in the past.
[00:01:18]  And I try to do one hour of movement.
[00:01:20]  So either I'll take a walk or I'll do Pilates or I'll do my Tracy Anderson.
[00:01:23]  Then I do my infrared sauna for 30 minutes.
[00:01:26]  Not every day.
[00:01:27]  Some days I can't.
[00:01:28]  I don't have time.
[00:01:29]  Or sometimes I'll do the higher dose of infrared blanket if I'm not home.
[00:01:32]  For me, it's really important for me to support my detox because I have fucked up methylation.
[00:01:37]  And then for lunch, I have something.
[00:01:38]  I really like having a soup for lunch.
[00:01:41]  In fact, I have one, a new soup at Goop Kitchen, which is like this green soup that I warm up.
[00:01:45]  It comes cold, so it kind of retains a lot of vibrancy.
[00:01:48]  But I really like soup for lunch.
[00:01:50]  I have bone broth for lunch a lot of the days.
[00:01:51]  And then for dinner I have, uh... Oh, I forgot the part about my wellness practices.
[00:01:56]  I do TM meditation for 20 minutes every morning before the coffee.
[00:01:59]  And then for dinner, I try to eat according to paleo, so lots of vegetables.
[00:02:03]  I live in California, so there are farmer markets all over, which is such a blessing.
[00:02:07]  Like, all the vegetables.
[00:02:09]  Things that are in season from local farms, and then any kind of fish or birds.
[00:02:12]  And then I try to get a little bit clever with carbohydrates.
[00:02:15]  So, sweet potato noodles, or we make tacos with the Seattle grain-free tacos, the yucasaba.
[00:02:22]  And I find the more that I get into the habit of not trying to look, it was harder at first when I thought, I'm gonna have to eliminate all the joys and pleasures.
[00:02:29]  And it's not true.
[00:02:31]  Like, there's so many ingredients that are packed with flavor.
[00:02:34]  Chilis and herbs and lemon.
[00:02:35]  And you know, you can really, like, especially with Mexican food or with Asian flavors, like, you would know.
[00:02:41]  I think if you ate dinner at my house, like, most people when my friends come over, they have no idea what they're eating.
[00:02:46]  Like, healthy food, you know?
[00:02:47]  Or that it's paleo.
[00:02:48]  It's just good, nutritious, yummy food.

=== IV Therapy Enthusiast (06:41) ===

[00:02:51]  Yes.
[00:02:52]  As you're recording this right now, you have a little IV, which is on brand for both of us.
[00:02:57]  Why, how do you have an IV at the same time?
[00:02:59]  This is really embarrassing for me right here.
[00:03:01]  But look, you're a busy person.
[00:03:03]  You're running a company.
[00:03:04]  So like, do you do IVs very often?
[00:03:07]  I love an IV.
[00:03:08]  I'm an early IV adopter.
[00:03:09]  And especially because, you know, from other genetic stuff, like, I tend to be lower on certain vitamins or glutathione.
[00:03:15]  I love to have an IV, kind of a random, more fringy one.
[00:03:19]  Phosphatidylcholine.
[00:03:20]  That's my favorite IV when I can find them.
[00:03:22]  They're quite hard to find.
[00:03:23]  Yeah, it was hard to find.
[00:03:24]  And those make me feel so good.
[00:03:26]  And you know what else makes me feel good?
[00:03:28]  What?
[00:03:28]  The fact that we're recording another episode of Perverts about goop, and that our guest is Anna Merland, senior staff writer at Vice and author of Republic of Lies.
[00:03:36]  Welcome, Anna.
[00:03:37]  Thank you, I think, for having me.
[00:03:42]  This is maybe the first time where I'm like absolutely certain we've tortured our guest in advance.
[00:03:47]  Really, you're correct.
[00:03:49]  I really regret this deeply.
[00:03:50]  Yeah, we're going to be getting into the fact that yeah, Gwyneth Paltrow somehow made a like sex goop show in 2022.
[00:03:58]  So bear with me through stuff that could be just considered perverted in a general sense before we get to many different interesting things, including finding out what sexual blueprint Liv and I fit of the five types, which is going to be interesting.
[00:04:14]  It's perverted in the sense that it's, like, wrong, you know?
[00:04:17]  Like, not in the sense of the other episodes.
[00:04:19]  Yeah, like, it feels worse on the inside for me.
[00:04:22]  But, you know, I'm sure somebody's gonna write in.
[00:04:25]  Because, somehow, making fun of Skyrim sex mods with big-tittied women called, like, The Breeder, Dragon Master, or whatever, got people angry at us.
[00:04:35]  That was, like, the last one, but, you know what?
[00:04:37]  I should never underestimate our little perverts out there.
[00:04:40]  You guys are into all kinds of cute stuff.
[00:04:43]  And we love your messages.
[00:04:45]  Yes, we do.
[00:04:45]  Yeah, if Skyrim Cut Cage mod got people mad, then surely there are goop users.
[00:04:51]  There's 100% gonna be some goop people.
[00:04:53]  There's a sizable portion of the audience is just like crossing their fingers every week to be like, please, not mine.
[00:05:00]  Yes, 100%.
[00:05:01]  Some seemed like, my favorite audience members, And this is this is for you out there.
[00:05:08]  You're my favorites.
[00:05:09]  My little favorites are the ones who want people to cover like they want us to cover their thing because they have a sense of humor about it.
[00:05:17]  They're into it, but they also know it's funny and want to be made fun of, which might Just me and they actually just have a whole second thing about being made fun of.
[00:05:24]  Very possible.
[00:05:25]  I don't know.
[00:05:26]  We're just caught in a web of kinks and desire and anger and frustration and I just wanted you guys to come with us on this trip and find out more about yourselves and possibly Liv and I because Anna's definitely not doing the test with us.
[00:05:41]  She did not look at it.
[00:05:43]  She's like, fun no.
[00:05:45]  Before the jade vagina eggs, the pussy scented candles, and the coffee enemas, there was goop.
[00:05:51]  And before goop, there was GP, which is what people call Gwyneth Paltrow.
[00:05:56]  In 2008, the actress started writing a newsletter, which she named after herself.
[00:05:59]  You'll notice that goop starts with a G and ends with a P. The two O's came from somebody telling Paltrow that all successful internet companies contained these twin vowels.
[00:06:08]  Thus, goop was born.
[00:06:11]  Did you know that, Liv?
[00:06:12]  That's insane.
[00:06:13]  I thought it was just, you know, the substance.
[00:06:15]  No!
[00:06:15]  Because they got some goopy products.
[00:06:17]  They do, but she started with Gwyneth Paltrow and then she oo'd in the middle of her goop-a and now goop.
[00:06:25]  This is like the brand equivalent of those like, like really rich guys who named their like kids like Augustus or whatever.
[00:06:33]  Because they realize, like, oh, people with weird names do really well.
[00:06:36]  Yeah.
[00:06:37]  Yeah.
[00:06:37]  I mean, Oprah is just easier.
[00:06:39]  You just name it O, and you're already basically, like, you're every good thing about wellness.
[00:06:44]  It's a circle.
[00:06:45]  It's holistic.
[00:06:47]  It's perfect.
[00:06:48]  Oprah's perfect.
[00:06:49]  And Gwyneth Paltrow could never.
[00:06:50]  She's jealous.
[00:06:52]  At first, the Goop newsletter included recipes and a guide to living like the actress, or more specifically, a guide to visiting the same businesses Paltrow frequented and purchasing the same products and services that she enjoyed.
[00:07:03]  What differentiated Goop from other such newsletters and magazine sections was its inaccessibility.
[00:07:08]  Here's from a 2018 New York Times Magazine article by Taffy Broaddesser-Akner.
[00:07:13]  "GP didn't want to go broad. She wanted you to have what she had, the $795 G-Label trench coat
[00:07:19]  and the $1,505 Bettany Vernon S&M chainset. Why mass-market a lifestyle that lives in
[00:07:26]  definitional opposition to the mass market? Goop's ethic was this,
[00:07:30]  that having beautiful things sometimes costs money."
[00:07:32]  Finding beautiful things was sometimes a result of an immense privilege, but a lack of that privilege didn't mean you shouldn't have those things.
[00:07:39]  Besides, just because some people can't afford it, doesn't mean that no one can, and that no one should want it.
[00:07:45]  If this bothered anyone, well, the newsletter content was free, and so were the recipes for turkey wagyu and banana nut muffins.
[00:07:52]  This is one of the most amazing passages.
[00:07:55]  A lack of that privilege didn't mean you shouldn't have those things.
[00:07:59]  Yeah, why let not being able to afford a thing stop you from having it?
[00:08:04]  That's so gauche.
[00:08:06]  I mean, it's honestly just, you're undervaluing yourself and you don't have, what do they call it, an abundance mindset.
[00:08:12]  It's honestly elitist to not sell people $800 vibrating necklaces.
[00:08:17]  By 2013, Goop was incorporated.
[00:08:19]  It would grow to become a quote, clothing manufacturer, beauty company, an advertising hub, a publishing house, a podcast producer, a portal of health and healing information, and a TV show producer.
[00:08:30]  Along the way, Goop became interested in women's private parts.
[00:08:34]  This included their minds and their souls, but also their pussies and assholes.
[00:08:38]  In 2015, Paltrow first got flack for recommending vaginal steaming, specifically the Mugwort V-Steam from the Tikkun Spa in Los Angeles, which I'm not familiar with, but I'm gonna have to go and check this out.
[00:08:49]  I wonder if they offer like a testicle steam for men.
[00:08:52]  Yeah, surely.
[00:08:53]  Definitely.
[00:08:53]  There's actually a women's spa here in LA where you can sit in a mugwort tub, and I'm very sorry that you cannot experience it because it is really nice.
[00:09:01]  Oh, that sounds nice.
[00:09:02]  I mean, that sounds more like witchy, like you're making a broth.
[00:09:05]  Who would not want to sit in a vat of tea?
[00:09:07]  It's great.
[00:09:07]  Unless you're allergic to mugwort, which I've had two friends realize while they're sitting in the tub.
[00:09:11]  Which is not great.
[00:09:12]  It's not great.
[00:09:13]  Anyway.
[00:09:13]  You've been listening to a sample of The Pervert's Podcast.
[00:09:16]  To get access to this miniseries as well as previous QAA miniseries and the entire archive of premium episodes, go to patreon.com slash QAA and subscribe for just five bucks a month.
[00:09:28]  Thank you, beautiful gooners.
[00:09:30]  And goonettes.