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July 6, 2023 - QAA
11:10
Premium Episode 218: Jake’s Takes Volume III (Sample)

In the third volume of the infamous “Jake’s Takes” series, Jake and Liv kidnap podcast dad Travis View and force him to surrender his takes unto them. Whether they’re discussing discontinued snack items, or the TV adaptation they’re MOST disappointed by, Jake never fails to unlock some bizarre memory from his childhood and tell it to you for probably the fourth or fifth time. This episode also introduces two highly requested segments: Liv’s Gives and Travis’ Savages. The former see’s Liv’s interest piqued by a new, somewhat shady, streaming platform, and the latter finds Travis musing over the early writings of PT Barnum. Subscribe for $5 a month to get an extra episode of QAA every week + access to ongoing series like 'Manclan' and 'Trickle Down': http://www.patreon.com/QAnonAnonymous Music by Pontus Berghe. Editing by Corey Klotz. QAA’s website: http://qanonanonymous.com

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Time Text
What's up, QAA listeners?
The fun games have begun.
I found a way to connect to the internet.
I'm sorry, boy.
Welcome, listener, to Premium Chapter 218 of the QAnon Anonymous Podcast, the Jake's Takes, Liv's Gives, and Logan's Slogans, Volume 3 episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rokotansky, Liv Agar, and Travis View.
Well folks, here we are again.
You've asked for it, or not.
But as the QAA podcast's workload intensely increases, and the hosts are found with less and less time to generate their normal 6,000 to 7,000 word script, here we are instead with a smorgasbord of great Two bad takes from your favorite QAA hosts, myself, Travis View, and Liv Agar.
How's everybody doing today?
I'm good, yeah.
I'm happy that people have asked for what I also want, which is less work.
Yeah.
It's a perfect coinciding of interests.
Well, what's funny about it is it's less work in the prep, but more work in the actual recording since I don't have like a beautifully crafted script to read from.
And so instead, like I'm not, I don't get to be in charge of the jokes that I make that I planned out, you know, the night before when I was writing, you know, it's kind of going to be on the fly, which, you know, hit or miss.
And I think we're all okay with that.
More emotional labor than the previous, I think.
Joining us for the first ever Jake's Takes is QAA host Travis Few.
So very excited to have you, Travis, for, you know, these, you know, our takes on our listeners' most pertinent questions.
So welcome to the show.
Yes, always a pleasure.
I'm glad I can be here so you don't have to, you know, speculate about my nature like you did on the first Jake's Takes.
But yeah, I'm glad to finally join the third one.
Hold on one sec.
What kind of speculation did we do?
What do we say?
I can't remember.
No, yeah, you started speculating about whether or not I listen to the episodes, and I do, man.
It's my show.
I care about it.
Of course I listen to all the episodes, even the ones that I'm not on.
I don't always talk about it, but I listen and I care.
Travis has eyes everywhere.
That's very nice.
That is very nice.
I don't listen to all of the episodes.
I've been listening to more episodes recently.
And it's an alright podcast.
I mean, you know, it's guaranteed for, you know, three or four big laughs, I think.
Don't call our own podcast an alright podcast, man.
It's worth $5 a month.
Yeah, it's worth it if I have five bucks a month.
Yeah, realistically, I think our podcast is really good.
I mean, honestly, if I wasn't a part of this show, you know, because for years and years and years, I laid in my bed at night trying to find, like, great, like, conspiracy-themed podcasts to listen to, and, like, a lot of them just end up, you know, where, like, three Australian guys with, like, bad microphones just kind of, like, sitting in what really just, like, felt like, even through the audio, like a dark room with a red light on in it.
So I think if I wasn't a part of this show, I probably would be a fan of this show.
Yeah, I agree.
If that makes any sense.
I was a listener before I got on board, so I will say I agree.
It's a listenable podcast that is worth being a fan of.
Wait, you were listening just like as a person in Canada?
How did you find us?
Um, I think it was online stuff.
I feel like you guys were mutuals with some people I knew.
Like, uh, Jordan Mule is an example.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Yes, he was one of our earliest guests.
We love Jordan.
Friend of the show.
I had the pleasure of meeting Jordan in real life at the DC Show, and he gave me, like, some sick Magic the Gathering pins that I have and that I've added to my little shelf of collection of, you know, trinkets.
Trinkets and shrinkets.
That's a good, very specific gift, I feel like.
I feel like a lot of people would not be phased by that offer.
But it was smart of him.
I guess he understands.
He knew.
He knew the key.
That's the key to my heart.
You know, magic card trinkets, anything Ghostbusters related.
I'll take Turtle stuff.
So to open this episode, so basically all three of us have kind of brought things that either we have a take on that we want to talk about or things that listeners have have written to us and asked for our take on.
And for this episode, I really wanted to keep it apolitical because we talk about politics so much.
You know, we are we're ramping up into like what's going to be a rabid election cycle, I am sure.
And so I thought that it would be more fun to just kind of, you know, talk about like regular stuff, like how we like our pizza and like what movies we think are great and bad and, you know, how we feel about, you know, certain clothing items.
I just felt like it would be nice to sort of mix it up for a change and not be forced to watch like, you know, 11 minute Like, 11-minute YouTube video of, like, a guy with a one-string banjo, like, you know, recreating the national anthem, but, like, making up lyrics that are specific to Donald Trump or QAnon.
A guy who surely would have been a part of some very bad organizations if he lived in Germany in the 30s.
Sure, sure.
Yeah, like the, yeah, a guy who would have loaned his, his musical talents, uh, to a... Riefenstahl?
Yeah, a Reich of some sort.
So let's start off.
So Liv, you have brought some, you have brought some takes that we're going to talk about, and then you are going to be premiering, uh, the much, the much asked for segment, Liv's GIFs.
So, uh, why don't you kick it off?
What do we got?
What are we talking about?
Yes, so Livescapes is going to be a little segment of things I've noticed on the internet, content I've found that I think is just neat, just a little bit interesting, something I've been unable to kind of apply in any other context in the podcast or the content.
Or just like out in your real life or like on either of your, on your Twitch stream or your podcast.
Yes.
I tell my girlfriend, she says she doesn't care.
Stop telling me about these weird things.
You know, I need, I need some outlet.
Yeah.
You need, yeah.
You need to speak into a microphone where you're getting no reaction from the listeners.
Yeah.
To, to validate your, your points of view.
Of course.
But first, I want to start off with just a little update on what I've been up to recently, because it kind of relates to what we were talking about in previous Jake's Takes.
Firstly, it relates to the series of kind of absurd or ridiculous injuries that I've experienced recently, because I have a new one.
A new, you know, notch on the bed, so to speak.
Wait, this is a different injury from being frightened and startled by a small dog on an unfortunate staircase?
I am willing to say that it may be a bit more, even more absurd than that injury.
All right, well, we're here for it.
We had the ridiculous sprained ankle that I couldn't walk on for like two months because I was running away from a very tiny dog, that I had my zinc deficiency.
Which if you wanted an update on, I have been taking zinc supplements, and I think my levels are good again.
Got a lot more energy.
It's great.
I figured it out, so that's good.
Okay, so zinc levels are stabilizing.
Yes, yes.
I had the infected wisdom tooth, which was just because it was hard to reach.
It was very unfortunate.
Oh, that's a really bad one.
Was it really painful?
Oh yeah, it sucked.
They got me on codeine.
You could tell how bad it was because I called my dentist and they were like, we don't really have time in the next week to remove them, but here's an over-the-phone codeine prescription.
Well, now I know what to tell my dentist.
Just call in.
I know that I had my wisdom teeth removed 10 years ago, but I think they're back and very infected.
Here's the plan.
I'm gonna call the dentist the week after Halloween when their office is surely overflowing with calls about sweet teeth and cavities and I'm gonna go, by the way, my wisdom tooth that you didn't pull, you know, ten years ago because you told me that I was born with two missing adult teeth in my head and so I didn't need my wisdom teeth pulled is actually infected now and I'm gonna need that Cody prescription.
You get it pulled and he's like, what is this?
He's like, I don't know.
I'm just a silly guy.
It's like a piece of like candy corn stuck in an empty space, like in the back of my mouth.
And they're like, oh, this tooth is horribly discolored yellow and orange.
My God, man.
But the new one that I've gotten is the first broken bone that I've ever received.
No way!
I've never broken one so far in my life.
I've a lot of absurd injuries, but no broken bones.
And this one is a broken toe, which I guess isn't as bad because toes aren't too bad.
It's in the middle.
It didn't bend all weird, which is good, but I got it.
And apparently this is possible.
And maybe this is like something that's mundanely true for some people.
I kind of feel like a child not knowing a basic fact with the world, but I got it just like stubbing it against my My sofa?
Cause apparently you can break your toe doing that.
And so you, and so what happened?
You thought like, oh, bad stuff, you know, cause everybody, I mean, let's talk about a stubbed toe.
The pain doesn't really hit until about 15 seconds after the initial stubbing.
So I'm guessing, so you hit it, you went, okay, this is going to hurt in about 15 seconds.
Then it started to really hurt.
And at what point were you like, I think this is not going to sort of go away?
I sort of knew it was bad because it hurt immediately and it was like, oh, this this one really hurts.
You were like, I really fucked up this time.
The story of how I got it specifically is also funny because like I cooked my girlfriend breakfast and I was very excited to give it to her.
Yeah, that's nice.
So I just didn't look at where I was going.
And then I didn't spill it, though.
I guess that's good.
But an ultimate fumble.
You're trying to do something romantic.
You've got the two plates.
You're ready.
You're about to serve.
This puts you in a position of power in the relationship.
And then, boom!
Ouch!
Broken toe on the sofa.
It's hard for me to tell with pain tolerance, though, because one interesting thing with going on estrogen is it increases your pain tolerance.
I found a significant amount.
Oh, interesting.
This is why women can endure so much pain over their entire history.
I think probably something related to childbirth, so I feel like I'm gaming the system here.
Yeah, this is definitely a biohack for sure.
Alpha male biohack to take more... You have been listening to a sample of a premium episode of QAnon Anonymous.
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Thank you.
Thanks.
I love you.
Jake loves you.
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