A dark, intelligent goo lives in and around us. It may be an alien life-form. This is a conspiracy theory that features chemtrails, free energy, mysterious diseases, Joni Mitchell, demons, aliens, AI, transhumanism, nanobots, the Bush family, child sacrifice, geo-engineering, and narcissistic personality disorder.
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QAA's Website: qanonanonymous.com
Music by Pontus Berghe, NAP, DJ Death. Editing by Corey Klotz.
Welcome, listeners, to Premium Chapter 203 of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Black Goo episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rokitansky, Julian Fields, and Brad Abrahams.
It arrived here, on Earth, sometime around 86,000 BC, back when the planet's crust was still cooling and humankind had only just begun to forge tools from copper and tin.
No one knew what it was, only that they were terrified of it.
It was clear the substance was highly intelligent, cunning, but had evolved to be completely devoid of empathy and emotion.
Some wondered if it had ever had them in the first place.
From the cracks it oozed into the grass, into our minds, powerful men surrendered their own sanity in a foolhardy attempt to harness its power and mystery.
It was the real cause of the Falklands War in 1982, a ten-week skirmish between the Brits and the Argentinians.
For centuries, many disputed its origins, whether it came from the rocks beneath us or the meteors above.
Artists have attempted to capture its qualities in both books and big screens.
It is said to be the cause of only the most devastating brain disorders, and has already claimed the life of one conspiracy researcher.
It is everything and nothing all at once, both hidden and exposed.
And while many have bickered back and forth about its true capabilities, one thing is certain.
It is pure evil.
In today's episode, we will finally call it by its true name.
Black Goo.
Oh my God, we're finally covering my favorite band, the Black Goo Goo Dolls, etc.
There'll be plenty of these jokes.
I feel like we're going to be saying black goo over and over.
Oh, it's a lot.
There were so many times when I was writing this where I was like, okay, what's like a synonym for black goo?
Because I've said it twice in the sentence prior.
Dark ooze.
Yeah, I came up with a couple.
They're not good.
I mostly just say black goo.
In the summer of 2015, I received a mysterious email from an ex-girlfriend with whom I had barely spoken in years.
There was no subject line, but inside was a link to a YouTube video entitled, Black Goo.
Over the course of the two-hour-plus video, I felt my mind stretch to the limits of credulity, then smashed into a pulp of frothing madness before slowly reforming into the fragile husk that writes this today.
It's a story encompassing chemtrails, free energy, mysterious diseases, Joni Mitchell, demons, aliens, AI, transhumanism, nanobots, the Bush family, child sacrifice, geoengineering, and narcissistic personality disorder.
All of this is woven together into some kind of living, breathing, grand, unifying conspiracy theory that somehow ends up being life-affirming.
Jake and I will now recreate that sequence of sensations for all of you listeners.
The YouTube video I was sent was recorded at a conference called BASES somewhere in the UK.
The presenter was a thin German man in his late 40s named Harald Kautz-Wähler.
He had stringy, shoulder-length brown hair and wore a cozy sweater and jeans.
As he began, it was clear he was highly intelligent and empathetic.
He spoke in a relaxed and reassured manner, giving me a feeling that, no matter how this presentation may unfold, I was happy that Harold was my guide.
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