QAA - Premium Episode 203: Black Goo Anon (Sample) Aired: 2023-03-05 Duration: 04:05 === Black Goo Episode (03:59) === [00:00:03] What's up QAA listeners? [00:00:06] The fun games have begun. [00:00:10] I found a way to connect to the internet. [00:00:12] I'm sorry boy. [00:00:16] Welcome, listeners, to Premium Chapter 203 of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Black Goo episode. [00:00:23] As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rokitansky, Julian Fields, and Brad Abrahams. [00:00:28] It arrived here, on Earth, sometime around 86,000 BC, back when the planet's crust was still cooling and humankind had only just begun to forge tools from copper and tin. [00:00:42] No one knew what it was, only that they were terrified of it. [00:00:46] It was clear the substance was highly intelligent, cunning, but had evolved to be completely devoid of empathy and emotion. [00:00:55] Some wondered if it had ever had them in the first place. [00:00:58] From the cracks it oozed into the grass, into our minds, powerful men surrendered their own sanity in a foolhardy attempt to harness its power and mystery. [00:01:09] It was the real cause of the Falklands War in 1982, a ten-week skirmish between the Brits and the Argentinians. [00:01:15] For centuries, many disputed its origins, whether it came from the rocks beneath us or the meteors above. [00:01:22] Artists have attempted to capture its qualities in both books and big screens. [00:01:26] It is said to be the cause of only the most devastating brain disorders, and has already claimed the life of one conspiracy researcher. [00:01:35] It is everything and nothing all at once, both hidden and exposed. [00:01:40] And while many have bickered back and forth about its true capabilities, one thing is certain. [00:01:47] It is pure evil. [00:01:49] In today's episode, we will finally call it by its true name. [00:01:55] Black Goo. [00:01:59] Oh my God, we're finally covering my favorite band, the Black Goo Goo Dolls, etc. [00:02:04] There'll be plenty of these jokes. [00:02:05] I feel like we're going to be saying black goo over and over. [00:02:08] Oh, it's a lot. [00:02:10] There were so many times when I was writing this where I was like, okay, what's like a synonym for black goo? [00:02:15] Because I've said it twice in the sentence prior. [00:02:18] Dark ooze. [00:02:19] Yeah, I came up with a couple. [00:02:21] They're not good. [00:02:22] I mostly just say black goo. [00:02:23] In the summer of 2015, I received a mysterious email from an ex-girlfriend with whom I had barely spoken in years. [00:02:30] There was no subject line, but inside was a link to a YouTube video entitled, Black Goo. [00:02:36] Over the course of the two-hour-plus video, I felt my mind stretch to the limits of credulity, then smashed into a pulp of frothing madness before slowly reforming into the fragile husk that writes this today. [00:02:48] It's a story encompassing chemtrails, free energy, mysterious diseases, Joni Mitchell, demons, aliens, AI, transhumanism, nanobots, the Bush family, child sacrifice, geoengineering, and narcissistic personality disorder. [00:03:03] All of this is woven together into some kind of living, breathing, grand, unifying conspiracy theory that somehow ends up being life-affirming. [00:03:11] Jake and I will now recreate that sequence of sensations for all of you listeners. [00:03:16] The YouTube video I was sent was recorded at a conference called BASES somewhere in the UK. [00:03:21] The presenter was a thin German man in his late 40s named Harald Kautz-Wähler. [00:03:26] He had stringy, shoulder-length brown hair and wore a cozy sweater and jeans. [00:03:30] As he began, it was clear he was highly intelligent and empathetic. [00:03:34] He spoke in a relaxed and reassured manner, giving me a feeling that, no matter how this presentation may unfold, I was happy that Harold was my guide. [00:03:42] You have been listening to a sample of a premium episode of QAnon Anonymous. [00:03:46] We don't run any advertising on the show, and we'd like to keep it that way. === Thanks! (00:16) === [00:03:50] For five bucks a month, you'll get access to this episode, a new one each week, and our entire library of premium episodes. [00:03:58] So head on over to patreon.com slash QAnonAnonymous and subscribe. [00:04:02] Thank you. [00:04:03] Thanks. [00:04:03] I love you. [00:04:04] Jake loves you.