We watched "Watch the Water", a "documentary" named after a Q drop that went viral for claiming that Covid is actually snake venom purposefully introduced into the water supply to turn us into satanic hybrids. Annie leads Jake and Julian through what turns out to be a conspiracy theory about the Jesuits.
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Episode music by Pontus Berghe & Nick Sena. Editing by Corey Klotz.
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Welcome, listener, to Premium Chapter 169 of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Watch the Water episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rokitansky.
Andie Helly.
And Julian Fields.
Hello and welcome, my beloved pure-hearted listeners.
It's your UK correspondent Annie Kelly speaking.
Today I'm going to be talking to you about a new anti-vaccine documentary that has taken the conspiracy world by storm, causing furious debate among anti-vaxxers, QAnon influencers And even the two people responsible for creating the documentary itself.
This will be an episode that is not afraid to ask the tough questions, such as... Is COVID-19 actually synthetic snake venom deliberately introduced into our water supply?
The answer is no.
Ah, come on, Annie!
You don't know how to structure an episode!
That's supposed to come right at the end!
Spoilers, guys.
No, that's not happening.
I was always taught that we were supposed to suspend your disbelief, you know, see what's there, and then at the end, you know, bring in your analytical brain.
So, this is already... I'm already disappointed.
And listen to Jake.
I mean, he's clearly has been sucking on the water straight from the tap.
He's got snake venom in his lungs.
He's turning into a crate snake.
Yeah, I should have been.
I should have been using these these COVID tests on myself to make sure that I'm no longer testing positive.
But in fact, I've just been running them under the tap water.
Sorry.
Sorry, Annie.
Go back to your very sensible upfront debunking.
All right, going back to my tough questions.
But are the mRNA vaccines and therapeutic drugs used for the treatment of COVID also snake venom to finish off any patients whose God-given immune system fought off the initial poisoning?
The answer to that is also no.
But is Donald Trump a secret Jesuit who supports vaccines because he is part of this nefarious scheme to decimate the global population and institute a Catholic New World Order?
Yes.
Yeah, surprisingly to that one, the answer is yes.
Good, good, good.
Thank God.
One out of three folks, this won't be a total waste.
Thank God.
I couldn't take another no.
But before I get into that, an update on myself and Julian's ancient European blood feud.
Ah, yes.
Yes.
Peace Talks broke down last week when, for the first time since the 19th century, a council of elders assembled to try and resolve the long-running dispute between our two tribes.
So far, we have limited intelligence on what went on, but I am told by reliable sources that a fistfight broke out when my cousin, the right-wing American news anchor Greg Kelly, heard some of Julian's relatives speaking French and assumed they were trying to place a witch's curse on him.
The situation is still unfolding, but it seems that Julian and I, along with any of our descendants, will be cursed to remain mortal enemies for centuries more.
Yeah, the Kellys will pay, eventually.
I'm sorry that the talks broke down.
I know my nonna is, you know... I'm surprised she would throw a punch, but you know what?
That's cool.
Yeah, I heard she really held her own, actually.
I can't wait for the documentary series to release on HBO.
Just documenting like, you know, ten years.
Like one filmmaker followed two families for over a decade.
Here is their story.
And it's just like, you know, 45 minutes of like fist fighting.
But back to the anti-vaxx documentary this episode is all about.
Released on the 11th of April this year, the film is titled Watch the Water, which the real Q-heads in our audience will recognise as being a phrase borrowed from a Q-drop in 2018.
This cryptic phrase has previously been interpreted by QAnon followers as having predicted the sewer's canal blockage by the unfortunate ship ever given back in 2021.
But the documentary comes up with a different thesis.
That thesis is, roughly, that Covid-19 is not a respiratory virus at all, but a result of global water supplies being poisoned with snake venom in order to weaken humanity both physically and spiritually, and even possibly turn us all into demonic human-snake hybrids.
Here's how the film describes itself.
The plandemic continues, but its origins are still a nefarious mystery.
How did the world get sick?
How did COVID really spread?
And did the satanic elite tell the world about this bioweapon ahead of time?
Dr. Brian Ardis, www.ardisantidote.com, has unveiled a shocking connection between this pandemic and the eternal battle of good and evil which began in the Garden of Eden.
Oh my god, just reading his name makes me laugh because he's such a sweaty golem of a mess.
In this Stu Peters Network exclusive, director Stu Peters, award-winning filmmaker Nicholas Stumphauser, and executive producer Lauren Witzke bring to light a truth Satan himself has fought to suppress.
This finally answers the question, what would happen if the movie trailer guy caught COVID?
I'll tell you what happened.
The voice is easier to do.
I was going to say, yeah, it sounded really convincing.
Yeah, less effort.
Less effort for sure, because some of the gravel is now baked in.
In a world where I can't taste or smell anything.
No, you know, I did not, I haven't lost, I haven't lost taste or smell.
I am, uh, I'm a fortunate, fortunate.
In a world where my penis has grown smaller for some reason.
In a world where I am weaker and uglier than I've ever been.
In a world where seeing the Vicks Vapor Rub symbol on the box of tissue papers was a sign of relief.
I like that Annie recently had COVID, demanded we respect her, but now she is absolutely having giggles at the expense of poor Jake, while I call him weak and ugly.
I mean, ugly stuff!
Ugly stuff!
I know, it's just so nice to see someone who's not me suffering with it.
Ironically, I'm also, during this recording, I'm wearing the sweatshirt of the band that I bought at the concert where I probably got COVID.
That is amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You want to name them?
No.
You know what?
I saw two concerts last week, so it could be either.
Mm-hmm.
And they were just dishing out snake venom at both of them.
Amazing.
I didn't wear a mask at the first one because the mask mandate had lifted and, you know, there was plenty of room in the back to stand.
We thought we were gonna be just fine.
And I did wear a mask at the second one because it was a little bit more crowded.
So just let this be a lesson to you.
If you go to...
If you go to a concert or you're going to a big public thing where there are a lot of sweaty people singing, COVID is still a real thing.
You can still catch it, so... If you go watch a band with the name ending in each oni, you will catch Ovid.
Yeah.
Don't know where I'm going with this.
Yeah, I saw Beach Bunny, and I saw Pup, and you know what?
Yeah?
Worth it.
If I don't, if I don't die, and even if I did, even if I did, if I slipped away in the middle of the night, those concerts were so fucking good.
They were so fucking good.
Especially Pup.
Especially Pup.
So fucking good.
That like as I left my body and I was floating up and I saw myself laying in bed coughing and sputtering and I was like, well, here I go.
And I could see my all my grandparents and a couple cats, you know, right there waiting.
I would be like, you know what?
Worth it.
Dying a happy man.
Dying a happy man.
This is what happens when you're the generation that doesn't own homes.
Yeah, I've accomplished everything that I think I can.
Time to ascend!
It's really early in the episode for us to come out as pro-Covid, guys.
Yeah, before we get into it.
Yeah, there was moments while I was watching this documentary where I was like, I was trying to allow myself to get pilled, but it's so stupid.
I mean, it is essentially what the documentary is, is not a documentary at all.
It is a videotape of one guy trying to pill another guy, and he's doing it just as you would at a party.
He's going, and you know what the organization is named?
Right?
Like, he's so fucking smug, this guy.
And what is he?
He's a chiropractor?
He's not even a real doctor.
A retired chiropractor.
He's a retired chiropractor.
Can't even continue quacking.
Essentially, the movie is like, here's what I googled, and here's what... It literally is just a video of, like, a guy baking and then trying to pill his friend, who it's totally working on, because the guy's, you know, Stu Peters is fucking sweating, he's jiggling around his seat.
Rubbing his face like, oh my god, this is insane!
This is insane!
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