Premium Episode 157: Princes in the Tower with Annie Kelly (Sample)
Murder, coups, & conspiracy theories at the end of the Middle Ages. UK correspondent Annie Kelly steps in to tell us the story of two princes who disappeared from a tower more than 500 years ago in England. Were they killed by the Duke of Gloucester who then ascended to the throne as King Richard III? Or did they assume new identities and live out their lives in hiding? And why are some in the UK still spinning conspiracy theories about the two young princes' deaths? It appears royalism is still kicking — and generating strange ideas about history.
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Welcome, listener, to Premium Chapter 157 of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Princes in the Tower episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rokitansky, Annie Kelly, Julian Field, and Travis View.
On this week's episode of Two Boys, One Tower, our UK correspondent Annie Kelly brings us the historical tale of a pair of young lads.
Fucking princes!
Who may or may not have been murdered after being declared illegitimate successors to the throne and confined to the Tower of London.
But were the small skeletons later discovered in a trunk beneath the tower staircase those of the two boys?
And if they were murdered, did the Duke of Gloucester, crowned King Richard III after the princes were delegitimized, have blood on his hands?
By the way, Eni, great to have you back with us.
How was your New Year's and why are you like this?
I'm not sure I like your tone, Julian.
Uh-huh.
I'm just saying this is very Yaoi.
We're getting into Yaoi territory.
Yeah, actually.
A little behind-the-scenes footage of how this podcast gets made.
Julian sent me a picture of the princess in the tower and then just the word underneath it, Yaoi, which I'd never heard before.
And I Googled it, and the first thing that came up on my Google screen was, warning, explicit content.
And I just thought, you know what?
This is just some Julian bullshit.
I don't have to, I don't have to investigate this.
And I didn't.
In her never ending quest for boy blood, Annie brings us the story of two mysterious princes
in a tower, who may have ended up as two mysterious skeletons in a trunk.
But because Annie is no history tabloid researcher, she interviewed Professor Tim Thornton at the University of Huddersfield, a historian who has actually published research about these two princes.
She also spoke with Cleo Madeline, who co-hosts the UK podcast Pronouns in Bio, but also moonlights as an early modern historiographer.
So, let's jump right in.
One, two.
Princes kneel before you.
They're in a trunk now.
Princes.
Princes who adore you.
They're skeletons now.
Who killed the princes?
Put them under the stairwell.
It was the Duke of Gloucester.
You've probably heard of.
Just go ahead now.
Beautiful, man.
Beautiful.
Spin Doctors.
Spin Doctors.
Classic, classic band.
The Princes in the Tower.
A very happy new year to you all, listeners.
It's your UK correspondent Annie Kelly speaking.
In these early stages of 2022, which is a year that my personal astrologer promises will be completely normal and fine, I'm setting out some resolutions for myself in the interests of accountability.
The first of these was to stop talking about depressing subjects on here all the time.
From kidnapping, murders, and terrorism, I feel like my topics for this podcast have been real downers lately, and I don't want to be remembered as the correspondent whose episodes you skip unless you feel like crying.
So today, I'm taking things in a new direction.
Yeah.
By the way, this sounds about as credible as Nice Julian.
Now when I say New Direction, I mean that today's episode will be about the disappearance and potential murder of two children, but with a fun twist.
Which is that this particular child murder occurred in history, over 500 years ago, so it's basically fine at this point.
Yeah, they're not minors, they're like over 500 years old, they're vampires at this point.
Yeah, let's dig them up and see.
Yeah, if they hadn't been murdered, they would be 512 years old, which would be a crime against God.
That's true, actually.
Yeah, no, in some ways, the Duke of Gloucester, a.k.a.
Richard III, did us all a favor by either disappearing... We'll get into it, but I would have just sent them to, like, a nice place, like a Garden of Eden-style place where they can start life over, but it's not gonna fuck with, you know, the third Well, it's funny you should say that, Julian, because recently some shocking new evidence was revealed to suggest that maybe that did happen, and those children were never murdered at all.
This evidence, unearthed by a society obsessively dedicated to redeeming the reputation of a long-dead king, will be the subject of this episode's analysis today.
Listen, it's already pretty pathetic to, like, kowtow to royalty just generally.
Living royalty, that's pretty sad.
But, like, long dead royalty is... I don't know.
I don't understand these people.
I mean, to be clear, he did a coup either way.
I mean, whether he disappeared the children to become king or he, you know, killed them, it's not great.
We're not defending him.
Right, Annie?
Right?
Well, I mean...
In the context of the time, lots of people were doing coups to become king.
Right, right.
Okay, that's a normal thing.
That's how you became king!
That was like the second most popular way to become king.
I think, you know, murdering children has generally always been frowned upon in society, but doing a little coup to become king, that was a product of its time, you know?
Okay, right, okay.
So, sorry, Travis, we will be in fact sucking the toes of royalty.
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