We closely follow the paths of two participants in the Capitol riots. Jenna Ryan: a realtor from Texas and Brandon Fellows, a 26-year-old chimney repair man from Virginia. Both posted their way through the event and its aftermath. We finish the episode with a Jake story featuring Mike Lindell.
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Welcome, listener, to the 108th premium chapter of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Insurrection Hangover episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Brogatansky, Julian Fields, and Travis View.
For nearly a year now, the COVID-19 virus has hung over the United States like a sword of Damocles.
The populace has grown weary and anxious.
But in this vast sea of discontent, there are flashes of hope.
Those who still remember yesterday's America, and all its hella sick festivals.
These patriotic Americans yearn for the simpler days of red solo cups filled to the brim with piss, baggies of Arm & Hammer sprinkled with cocaine, and the cantaloupe-flavored simulacra of a cigarette.
And so, recently, the Patriotic Party people gathered to partake in a new kind of musical festival at the United States Capitol, with less porta-potties and way more tear gas.
They fought.
They drank.
They blacked out.
They shot vids.
They stole Nancy Pelosi's only remaining soda directly out of her office.
By the next day, the Capitol was calm once more.
The partiers were gone, replaced by hundreds of National Guardsmen sleeping in the halls of Congress.
And thus, the Great Hangover began.
The people who stormed the Capitol building were an assortment of MAGA diehards, militia members, neo-Nazis, and QAnon followers.
But there were also people who were basically along for the ride, who either due to arrogance or cluelessness, simply got swept away by the insurrection.
Today, we're going to take a look at two such cases.
Jenna Ryan, a realtor from Texas, and Brandon Fellows, a 26-year-old chimney repairman from Virginia.
Together, they illustrate what it looks like to post your way through the revolution.
First up is Jenna Riott.
Now, Jenna is one of the most high profile people who participated in the Capitol riot, even though she never appeared to really pose a threat to anyone.
In a later interview with a local CBS affiliate, the Texas realtor said that she flew to D.C.
at the behest of the president.
Our president, President Donald Trump, asked us to go to the march on the 6th.
And he said, be there.
And so, I went.
And I answered the call of my president.
It was like, hey, you know, we're here.
We're here.
We're storming our capital.
When I say storming our capital, I just mean we're here.
We're descending on D.C.
Am I dreaming, or does her fireplace have, like, diamonds on the logs?
What?
What the f- It looks like a tinsel.
It looks like a Christmas tree tinsel.
Insane.
So she has a fake fireplace that just- the wood is wearing diamonds inside it.
Maybe she's using it for kindling, you know?
What kind of joke country is this?
Yeah, she flew to D.C.
in style, apparently riding a private plane with a group of friends.
Oh, and by the way, return of the leopard print.
We got a blue leopard print here and a tribute, no doubt, to the great Sidney Powell.
As Ryan walked through the streets of D.C., she ranted to the camera.
She regurgitated the big lie that Trump's electoral loss was the result of a massive conspiracy to defraud the nation.
Stop the steal.
I mean, they are taking our country from us.
And this is a prelude to the war that is about to happen.
We are not messing around.
There's a lot of us that are going to be, there's more of us than there are of them.
We're going to go right on to that.
We're going to let them know that they better freaking listen to the evidence today because they bought out all the courts.
They bought out all the Congress, all the rhinos.
They paid everybody off.
Because they didn't want to wear their pussy hats this year.
And so they bought people off and cheated.
We are pissed off about this.
It's not OK.
So just an unhinged woman.
Just a LARP.
In the street, talking to herself, apparently.
Incredible.
And absolutely furious.
Also, there is no evidence that was being evaluated that day.
Again, the entire sort of what Pence was doing was procedural.
There was only one possible conclusion.
The whole thing is ludicrous.
In D.C., Jenna Ryan is wearing a Trump beanie and an American flag scarf.
But that isn't enough merchandise for her, so she also picked up a camouflage print Trump hat from a street vendor.
That was just tactical gear for the raid.
Oh, okay, so she was gearing up.
Oh, look at this Trump hat.
I want this one.
That's a cool hat.
Isn't it a cool hat?
You want that hat?
Yeah.
Oh, he's digging for you.
Do you have another one of those?
Yep.
You have two of those?
If you grab me one, I'll pay you back.
The black one's cool too.
I want that one.
I don't know, this cracks me up.
She thinks she's going to war because her nation's being defrauded and they're going to pick up some merch for the occasion.
Yeah, it's like they're going to a fucking paintball game, you know?
It's like, oh well, I like that hat for playing paintball.
Like nothing's real to these people.
It's so bizarre how she just, she just floats along the world without like really, really able to like comprehend consequences.
Because it's an intention.
Everything is so hyperbolic that, you know, you can't just be upset that your candidate lost.
It's that, no, they were cheated and we're going to fucking war and I'm gonna get a hat.
And I'm gonna bring a lightsaber.
Yeah.
And this is the premiere of some sort of movie.
Yeah, it is.
It's this like...
I'm the star of my own show, and I'm streaming it right now.
Yeah!
I'm actually going to the Spider-Man thing, but I'm also the Spider-Man that makes money taking photos on the street, and I'm also a fan of Spider-Man.
She shows off her new swag to her friends.
Did you get you some merch, Jenna?
I did!
It's so cute!
It's like Katie's hat.
Katie!
See how cute?
I don't want to lose it.
I'm, like, covered in merch.
Look.
I'm covered.
Look at this.
I'll never forget this.
This is like a memory happening right now.
We are saving America.
And you know what?
If it comes down to war, guess what?
I'm going to be there.
I don't know what I'm going to be doing, but I'm going to be doing something, I guarantee it.
Yes, she is.
She's going to be doing Trump!
Yeah!
Yep, I'll be fighting on the front lines.
Wherever it is.
Yep.
Because I'm that kind of girl.
I like to get shit done.
I could be working right now, but nope.
I could be selling houses right now.
All you people who are going to sell your house, you need to hire one of us.
We're all real estate agents.
Hire us because we're fighting for our country.
There's not a better parody right there.
We'll fight to get you a better offer on your home.
I have a MAGA hat and now I have another hat.
I'm gonna put it on the first hat and I'm going in.
She actually does this a lot.
She seamlessly sort of transitions between, I'm fighting for my country, we're going to war, and I will sell you a house.
And people say white culture doesn't exist.
But yeah, because I think in her mind, going to war is very much the same thing as selling a house.
War is just like a sale, and let me tell you how, in my 320 page book.
I mean, it's just a casual idea.
It is!
You know, it's just this fucking, this, this, oh!
It's total abstraction.
She thinks she's going to like, fly to the sea, go to war, then the country will basically be the same and she'll go right back to selling houses.
Well, yeah, that's how Trump got rich.
So once Trump's back in there, it's like, yeah, he's going to fucking hook her up.
He loves real estate people, right?
When Jenna sits down to rest, she immediately gets to complaining about the lack of bathrooms and cell phone service.
Here we are.
You can barely get service.
There are millions of people here.
You think there's millions?
I don't know.
Nothing about people around.
It's a mess up there.
Yeah, we've been up there.
It was completely packed.
And there's no bathroom what to speak of.
There's absolutely no bathrooms.
I'm covered in Trump stuff.
What is she wearing?
Oh my God, she's wearing a beanie on top of a ball cap.
What is happening?
And we know she has another hat!
As the day goes on, it's like Diablo.
It's like Diablo.
She's just adding more pieces.
She's collecting more items.
She attributes this lack of resources to discrimination against freedom lovers.
They didn't give us any bathrooms whatsoever.
Or food trucks.
You know, it's like the beginning of There's a lot of discrimination against people who love freedom.
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