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Dec. 3, 2019 - QAA
01:10:39
Episode 68: Prince Andrew Doesn't Sweat

Tongue-in-cheek look at the cheekiest prince of them all. Annie Kelly joins us from across the pond. Includes a Jake story. Get a 2nd ep every week for $5 a month at patreon.com/qanonanonymous Thanks for subscribing and supporting us! Follow Annie Kelly: twitter.com/annieknk Music by Pontus Berghe (www.chapelone.com) & Nick Sena (www.nicksenamusic.com)

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Time Text
What's up QAA listeners?
The fun games have begun.
I found a way to connect to the internet.
I'm sorry boy.
Welcome, listener, to the 68th chapter of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Prince Andrew episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Brocatansky, Annie Kelly, Julian Field, and Travis View.
His Royal Highness, Prince Andrew, Duke of York, Vice Admiral of the Royal Navy, Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order, and subject to none, save perhaps three Q-drops.
Uninteresting even to our favorite anonymous Chan lad, the Prince mostly receives shrapnel when the Anons clumsily meme-bomb the British Royal Family.
It doesn't help that the first Q-drops about him, the now infamous picture with Epstein victim Virginia Jouffre, seems to confuse her with Rachel Chandler, an unrelated woman who is often baselessly accused of being a child trafficker.
Not one to be caught up in past mistakes, Q resurfaced the Prince in March of 2019 making the outrageous claim that Prince Andrew is deeply connected.
Military intelligence indeed.
This week we have UK correspondent Annie Kelly on the show and we're going to discuss the Prince and his family on the eve of another general election across the pond.
Hello Annie!
Hello, thanks for having me on.
Of course, you are part of the family.
How are you doing?
And secondly, how is the atmosphere over there?
I've actually been, well, I think, yeah, pretty much everyone on the left has been incredibly busy for the last couple of weeks because we had the snap election called.
There's not much time now, although it does seem like every day is longer than the last in the run-up to this.
I think probably the most interesting thing is, because we had an election two years ago, is just how different the atmosphere feels.
It very much felt like the media weren't really taking Jeremy Corbyn that seriously two years ago.
It was kind of presumed to be a wash.
So you could say they sort of dropped the ball slightly.
And so we have kind of rules, broadcasting rules, which mean that during the run up to a general election, you have to be, take extra precautions, essentially, to make sure that your broadcasting isn't biased in any way to any of the parties.
And it felt like they played by the rules two years ago.
And this time round, they are not doing that.
So yeah, so it's one of those things where I've had to basically mute the BBC on Twitter for self care.
Yeah, they took a cue from our American journalists.
But at least they do hard-hitting journalism on Prince Andrew, which is important.
That is actually true, because that interview did feel like a rare moment when the country was actually united.
And taking down this scumbag.
They were like, we can agree on that!
Well, we will be jumping right into that, but before that...
First up, a QAnon-pushing congressional candidate banned from Twitter after tweeting that Congresswoman Ilhan Omar should be hanged.
I got heartburn.
Heartburn?
Yeah, I got heartburn from listening to that headline.
I thought he actually was in pain.
He's actually wincing.
Wait, are you actually...?
It's both!
No, it's real!
Are you okay?
The pain is real!
But it was triggered by that!
It's gonna get worse.
So, brace yourself.
Twitter suspended the accounts of Danielle Stella, a QAnon-promoting Republican candidate hoping to challenge Democratic Representative Ilhan Omar of Minnesota next year, after she suggested the congresswoman should be tried for treason and hanged.
One of her tweets also included a stick figure of a stick man hanging from the gallows.
Oh!
Just some ASCII art?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just a little drawing.
Just in case people didn't know what she meant when she said that she should be hanged.
This is the same woman who was arrested for doing something cool, which is stealing shit tons of stuff from, what was it, Walmart?
Oh, it's the same woman?
I believe it was Target.
Target, sorry.
Yeah, shoplifting for Target.
Excuse me.
That's correct.
She is a fucking absolute lad.
My goodness.
She does it right.
It's a problematic fame.
She did that speech where she was just clearly on like methamphetamine or something.
Yeah, just screaming at the top of her lungs incomprehensibly.
Yeah, just had words coming out before the next one, like just shuffled out of order.
It was fantastic.
Nice.
So the tweet referred to unsupported and baseless stories that Omar was recruited as a Qatari asset who gave information to Qatar that was given to Iran.
The office for the congresswoman called the stories outlandishly absurd.
Those tweets led to both of Stella's accounts, her personal and her campaign account, being suspended.
Stella responded by saying this in a statement.
My suspension for advocating for the enforcement of federal code proves Twitter will always side with and fight to protect terrorists, traitors, pedophiles, and rapists.
Wait, so the federal code would put Ilhan Omar on the... They would hang her according to the code?
Yeah, the federal code would make it legal to make death threats.
This woman is cuckoo bananas.
I mean, she really... Yeah, she's absolutely fantastic.
Congresswoman Omar also responded to the incident in a tweet on Saturday.
This is the natural result of a political environment where anti-Muslim dog whistles
and dehumanization are normalized by an entire political party and its media outlets.
Stella took to Facebook to complain about it where she still has an account.
and so...
So I guess I gotta give it to Twitter on this one, comparing the two platforms.
Yeah, Mark Zuckerberg's probably liking and smiley-facing her comments on Facebook.
I'm gonna give them nothing.
I'm gonna bully one and push it in a locker, and I'm gonna give a swirly to the second one and tell it, you got off easy, okay?
uh... and i'm gonna stay on a more accepted that that whole like not
voting just presents on the whole uh... right the genocide of the army and sat
i just think that was a weird one uh... you know i don't sound like a resistance person but i
do better yeah i mean every look everybody's got their problems with
the you know the armenians but uh... you know look look at it and i think
you're going with this Please continue.
This is good.
A lot of hatred has led my way.
Go ahead, Jake, speak for yourself and not the podcast.
Go on.
Please, King.
What Jake doesn't know is that we're the number one podcast in Armenia, and we just destroyed our audience.
Hey, look, I lived in Little Armenia, okay?
What the fuck does that mean?
Look, I lived in Chinatown, man.
These are my friends.
Armenians and Jewish people, we have a lot in common, actually, when you dig beneath the surface.
I'm not entirely certain that's true, but it's... Edit all of this out.
Our second story, Chairwoman of the Arizona Republican Party retweets QAnon account.
Former Arizona State Senator and current Arizona GOP Chair Dr. Kelly Ward retweeted a QAnon account on Saturday.
The tweet was from QAnon promoter at Swampy's 8th, so named because he has seven previous accounts suspended.
Oh my God.
So the tweet itself didn't reference QAnon.
It just contains sort of a short animated video mocking Congressman Adam Schiff.
But this is just another instance of a Republican leadership boosting QAnon.
The Republican Party seems like it's behaving incredibly healthily right now.
Yeah, absolutely.
All of these news stories seem like a healthy path, don't they?
Yeah, they're each slowly but surely embracing QAnon.
I even saw, there's like a conservative version of Seth Abramson, who is like a big Spygate guy, but usually that was his only thing.
He was like, only Spygate, but now he's been retweeting accounts that have three stars after it, and you know, WW1, WGA hashtags.
In the bios?
Yeah, who knew that the Koch brothers, you know, pushing money behind the Tea Party would eventually lead to the Protocols of the Elders of Zion becoming the Amazon bestseller?
So, this is unsurprising behavior from Ward, who has earned the nickname Chemtrails Kelly in Arizona because of her promotion of baseless conspiracy theories.
Chemtrails Kelly sounds like a really fucking cool... That's like a SoundCloud rapper.
Sounds like a lead singer of a punk band or something.
Yeah, totally.
Also remember that that FBI intelligence bulletin that named QAnon as a possible source of conspiracy theory driven extremism was issued by the FBI's Phoenix field office.
So they seem to be particularly worried about QAnon extremism there in Arizona.
It seems like Arizona and Florida are the two big hot spots for QAnon activity.
And bless them.
That's interesting.
Why is that?
Is it like an older population or something like that?
That might be it.
I mean, I think that Arizona, just the heat, just the vast swaths of empty land just bakes
people's brains.
And the swamp, just like it's like slowly the moistness gets into your brain and starts
The fumes, yeah.
I have another theory, you know.
Okay, go on Shane.
I'm sure this is gonna be good.
These places both are known for, you know, high indexes of heat and extremely fast internet.
So when you have people where it's too hot to go outside and you've got computers with megabytes in... Whole megabytes.
Thousands, millions per second.
Millions of megabytes.
You're gonna have a lot more Q followers.
Yeah.
That's a bad mix.
It's true.
If the memes hit you at a certain velocity, at a certain angle.
If your data isn't capped, I mean, you're riding the wave of bandwidth all the way into the shores of QAnon.
Also this week, we have a few new Q-drops.
There are Q-drops that include pictures of QAnon followers from South Korea and Iran, and there's a lot of mainstream media bashing, but this was new.
There was also a promo for a movie that came out this year, and here's what that Q-drop said.
Sometimes a good movie can provide a lot of truth and or background.
Official secrets relevant today?
Enjoy the show.
Cue.
It's almost like I- In theaters today?
Yeah.
In theaters today, grab your popcorn, buy your tickets online.
Fandango.com.
Yeah, so here, Q is referring to the film Official Secrets, which was released earlier this year and stars Keira Knightley, and is directed by Gavin Hood.
It tells the true story of a UK intelligence agency employee, Catherine Gunn, who leaked a- That's not a real fucking name!
It really is, yeah.
Come on!
She leaked a secret memo exposing an illegal spying operation by the United States looking for information on United Nations Diplomats who were tasked to vote on a resolution regarding the 2003 invasion of Iraq So that so the film seems to be kind of in line with Q's theme of like out of control and corrupt deep state doing wherever they want yeah, but the bad guys in that film are the NSA and And that doesn't quite align with the general QAnon view that the NSA are the good guys, but the CIA are the bad guys.
Right.
This might be like the longest sort of movie promo ever.
But the funny thing is he's literally basically, you know, helping the Hollywood pedos.
Yeah.
Like sell their shitty movies.
I mean, in his terms, obviously.
I'm not saying all of Hollywood are...
Pedophiles, there must be at least one or two people here that aren't.
Look, he went to the theater over the weekend, Joker was sold out, the only other movie that was playing at the time was this, something he hadn't heard of, he saw it, was like, oh man, there's good Q material.
This is the first movie I watched since The Godfather 3.
Yeah, it's like when you see something good and you want to go online and be like, You know, this is just my opinion, but I really enjoyed this film over the weekend.
Yeah, my parents actually went to see that movie.
They recommended it to me.
Slightly nervous, they've been radicalized.
You might want to check the browser history.
It was well-reviewed.
Check if they've had any trips to Florida recently.
Maw-luck-update.
So many have asked for updates on Maw-luck the owl, who was tragically hit by a Cadillac Escalade
a couple of weeks ago in Big Sur, California.
That you were riding in.
Riding.
That's the keyword.
I keep hearing people on Twitter say that I hit an owl with an Escalade.
That's not true.
I was in the passenger seat.
Yeah, but in this write-up, you removed yourself from there.
I just wanted to make sure that everybody knew... Remove myself from what?
You were in the car.
Okay, well, he was trying to... You're an accessory to the fact.
Moloch was subsequently trapped in the grill, then freed, and finally abducted by the SPCA.
Thank you all for your concern.
We've had a lot of people write in to say, you know, Moloch is great and good and holy and their new god.
After a brief stint indoors, he was moved into an outdoor area after exhibiting signs of recovery.
He no longer has blood buildup behind his right eye.
The SPCA has been conducting test flights with Moloch, during which he remains tethered to a line.
An act called Crayoncing.
Now, it's been going well, but he still exhibits some wonky flying patterns due to the lingering effects of the concussion he received from somebody who was not me, again, not driving that car.
Another session of Crayoncing is going to happen soon, followed by a simulated hunt, which brought me to the existential realization that I saved an owl, but that he was then going to be rehabilitated by feeding him innocent mice.
So I don't really know what anything means anymore.
Circle of life, my friend.
We must support Moloch because he's now officially making money for the podcast by being our mascot.
So yeah, fuck the mice, I guess, and hail Moloch.
So yeah, he will be released hopefully in the coming weeks if all goes well.
The SPCA kind of want to wait for the storm to clear before Moloch is greenlit to spread his wings again.
I'll keep everyone updated as I find out more.
You may not have heard from me in a while because I've been on the run from the EU's banana police squad after I purchased some suspiciously curved fruits on the dark web.
However, recent events with the Royal Family have forced me to come out of hiding and do my journalistic duty.
As you may be aware, Prince Andrew, the second son of the Queen and eighth in line for the throne, has come under scrutiny in the last couple of weeks for his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein.
Though the connection has been known for a long time, serious allegations have been raised by at least two of Epstein's victims about the Prince's involvement in prostitution and sex trafficking of minors.
The Prince sought to dispel such allegations with an interview on the BBC two weeks ago, Which can only be described as the second worst car crash in the history of the British monarchy.
Oh, goddamn Annie!
Go for it!
Just go for it!
Hell yes!
Absolutely give it to them!
Yeah, when I was writing that line, my boyfriend was just like, ooh!
And I was just like, too much?
And he was just like, it's an American audience!
Yeah, I've prepared a story for later that is equally as bad, if not worse, so you're safe.
Annie, you're correct in thinking that we feel nothing, and this is the only way we can experience any media is if there's horrifying allegations made.
I mean, it's literally like, you know, hang your opponent on Twitter time.
So, yes, go for it.
So you would have made that connection because you stayed with him, you were a visitor, a guest on many occasions at his homes, and nothing struck you as suspicious?
Nothing.
During that whole time?
Nothing.
Oh my God, look at how many times he blinks!
Just for the record, you've been on his private plane?
Yes.
You've been to stay on his private island?
Yes.
You've stayed at his home in Palm Beach?
Yes.
You've visited Gellan Maxwell's house in Belgravia in London?
Yes.
So, in 2006, in May, an arrest warrant was issued for Epstein for sexual assault of a minor.
Yes.
In July, he was invited to Windsor Castle to your daughter Princess Beatrice's 18th birthday.
Why would you do that?
Holy fucking shit.
I have to delete my story.
It's not as fucking horrible as the real thing.
So, as you may also know, the UK has very, very strict libel laws which can make reporting on accusations against the rich and powerful very difficult.
The team here at QAnon Anonymous also hold out hope of gaining knighthoods for our services to truth and justice at one point, and we wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardise our close relationship with Buckingham Palace.
Absolutely not.
So let me just state for the record here that I believe Prince Andrew's version of events totally, and echo our Prime Minister's sentiment from a televised debate aired a day after the interview that... The institution of the monarchy is beyond reproach.
It's just an absolute fucking dipshit!
Who the fuck is that guy, Prime Minister?
And Trump is our Prime Minister!
You can tell the worst part about that clip is you can tell he's fucking enjoying saying that like he knows how Like what he's saying is stupid and absurd and horrible and he's enjoying it.
He loves it I know I mean what was really weird was that like it was a very active audience for that debate and the question was it's the royal family and fit for purpose and Jeremy Corbyn said something like they were doing like a quick fire round so Jeremy Corbyn said something like um it's could do with a bit of improvement and that got laughs and claps and then Johnson said that line and there was just like this silence do you know like there was a couple of groans but like everyone was like did he really just say that the day after this?
But then people clapped!
Yeah I mean... Then a bunch of people clapped!
They're clapping.
Yes, please.
Yes, please, Queen.
Please bring it all back.
I want it all back.
God, I'm so scared.
Yeah, the problem really isn't the royal family or the president.
It's our fault.
It's all our fault for just being creatures of suffering and punishment.
We need to be overthrown.
Yes, it's just in our nature, you know?
Yeah, we need a reverse revolution.
Yeah, you might have some problems there, but I really cannot state just how servile the British people are to rich people.
It is just, yeah.
Astonishing.
Well, we are too.
I mean, Kim Kardashian and her family are the most popular people in America.
Yeah, they're the real problem.
That's true, but at least they're good looking.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't know, man.
I'd rub one out to Boris.
What?
But even with endorsements like those, it seems as if the British public isn't buying
it this time.
A YouGov poll released last week found that only 6% believe Andrew's account of his friendship with Epstein.
He has officially been relieved of all royal duties, and most heartbreakingly of all, the Queen has cancelled his 60th birthday celebrations for next year, opting instead for a more private dinner.
Oh man that is... Oh God!
Oi Mum!
Mum wants to have my birthday party!
Me birthday!
I was molesting young girls for years and now I don't get a cake!
I believe his accent is probably a little bit higher class than that Julian.
Whatever.
This to me seems to be cancel culture at its worst and so it seems then that it falls to me to do what no other reporter dares to do And make the case for the Prince's defence.
I'm going to go over the evidence here today with a forensic scrutiny and explain how there's probably a perfectly innocent explanation for all of this.
In Prince Andrew's own words in that interview, one of his biggest faults is that he's actually too honourable.
But this only tells half the story.
Among royal insiders, it is well known that when Prince Andrew was much younger, an old woman visited his castle seeking shelter from the storm.
The prince, who was then young and arrogant, refused, failing to realise that she was a witch.
She cursed the prince to always do the right and honourable thing, but always look incredibly shifty and dishonest talking about it.
Well I think the date that we have for that shows that I was in Boston, or I was in New York the previous day and I was at a dinner for the Atwood Band Trust in New York and then I flew up to Boston the following day.
And then on the day that she says that this occurred, they'd already left to go to the island before I got back from Boston.
So I don't think that could have happened at all.
There was a witness there, Johanna Stolberg, who says that you did visit the house in that month.
I probably did.
Because of what I was doing, I was staying with the Consul General, which is further down the street on Fifth.
So I wasn't staying there.
I may have visited.
You may have popped in for a rape.
Definitely no activity.
That guy is horrible!
No activity!
Listen, I wasn't doing any pedophile activity that time.
Of course, on and off activity with that, but... Not that day, according to my calendar.
Pedophilia was a different day.
I was down the street.
Let's see, I was in Florida, and then maybe I was raping the girl, but before that I was like...
Holy shit, did nobody prep him for this shit?
It's so fucking bad.
Dude, FBI agents are going to use this tape, prosecutors are going to use this tape in school from now on to show you what a human being looks like when they are lying.
They'll be like, notice how he blinks 15 times and rubs his chin in a weird way.
Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, it's funny that you should say, you know, did no one prep him?
Because a story came out recently, actually, that apparently he was explicitly advised by his PR advisor not to do this interview.
And they quit when he was just like, no, I'm gonna go ahead.
You know, like, yeah.
Because they probably have spoken to him for like eight seconds.
There's an account that I came upon, it was a recently released article, and it was a young woman who was at a party with him, who walked up to him, said hello, he looked down at her boobs, and just went and motorboated her.
Just right off the bat.
And then, but apparently she just describes him as just being such a dork, he's like, What is this a motor motor something and like couldn't find the words for motorboating and thought it was very very funny that he did that to her and said that she Looked like she should be in a magazine for big-breasted women
What is he?
What is he?
A fucking 13 year old boy?
Absolutely.
Yes.
He's a big baby fucking monarchist.
What do you want?
You put him in diapers?
He's eighth to the throne.
He's never going to be anything.
His mom just cancelled his birthday party.
Yeah, he's 13 years old.
Absolutely.
13 is old for him.
Alright, go on Annie.
Sorry.
I mean, yeah, I know that sounds true, but I really do have to point you back to him being too honourable.
Yeah, that's right.
I think that kind of puts that story in a different light.
You would never say something like, you look like you should be in Hooters or Big Naturals.
He's always like, big-breasted woman, you big boobie magazines, I'm sure they exist.
Large, large-ish.
That is just how British people flirt, this doesn't sound strange to me.
So, there you have it.
What looks like bad lying from an overprivileged aristocrat who's never been challenged on anything on his life before can simply be explained by a common enough case of simple witchcraft.
But, I hear you say, what about the photographic evidence?
After all, possibly the most famous claim that Andrew made in this interview was that one of the alleged victims had described him as sweating profusely, which he said could not possibly be true.
She was very specific about that night.
She described dancing with you and you profusely sweating and that she went on to have There's a slight problem with the sweating because I have a peculiar medical condition which is that I don't sweat or I didn't sweat at the time.
I didn't sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the Falklands War when I was shot at.
It was almost impossible for me to sweat and it's only because I have done a number of things in the recent past that I'm starting to be able to do that again.
So I'm afraid to say that there's a medical condition that says that I didn't do it.
Oh my god!
Is this real?
Am I watching this with my real eyes and hearing what he's saying?
Big weird eyeballs.
This is real, it was aired on British television.
Impossible.
Problem with this story, I am unable to- I now can, thank goodness.
Oh my god, dude!
Holy shit!
I love that the Tories can be like, these people are beyond reproach and they still get 50% of the vote.
50% of the vote for a guy who can't sweat.
Because he had an overdose of adrenaline from the Falklands.
Yeah, from the war.
Yeah, right, dude.
Yeah, you went to the fucking secret Clinton parties.
We know where you're getting your adrenaline.
I had an overdose of adrenochrome.
Yeah, he overdosed on adrenochrome, he's unable to sweat, therefore he couldn't have raped this young woman.
I was on an immense amount of adrenochrome that night and it's very unlikely that I was sweating.
I prayed at least eight times to Moloch and you see... It didn't take long though, in fact this was happening as the interview was going on, for ensurprising social media users to find evidence to the contrary.
Including a nightclub picture taken of the Prince from around this time where he appeared to be perspiring pretty heavily.
Once again, it looked as if it might be an open and shut case.
Unless part of Prince Andrew's famous code of honour that has brought him into such trouble is to blame.
It certainly makes sense to me to think that perhaps the Prince, aware of his own privilege in the perspiration department, decided to fake sweating for that event, perhaps getting one of his loyal manservants to pour a bucket of water over him right before the picture was taken, so as not to embarrass his less gifted companions.
What if all that picture says is not that Prince Andrew is a lying sex criminal, but that he's simply a true man of the people?
That's not the only photograph our royal hero is having trouble with, though.
I don't know if I've met her.
But no, I have no recollection of meeting her.
Because she was very specific.
She described the dance that you had together in Tramp.
She described meeting you.
She was a 17-year-old girl meeting a senior member of the royal family.
Never happened.
She provided a photo of the two of you together.
Yes.
Your arm was around her waist.
Yes.
You've seen the photo?
I've seen the photograph.
How do you explain that?
I can't.
Because I don't, I have no, again I have absolutely no memory of that photograph ever being taken.
Do you recognise yourself in the photo?
Oh yeah, it's pretty difficult not to recognise yourself.
Your friend suggested that the photo is fake.
I think it's, from the investigations that we've done, you can't prove whether or not that photograph is faked or not because it is a photograph of a photograph of a photograph.
So it's very difficult to be able to prove it.
But I don't remember that photograph ever being taken.
But it's possible that it was you with your arm around your waist.
That's me, but whether that's my hand or whether that's the position I... But I don't... I have simply no recollection of a photograph ever being taken.
The world has now seen the photo that Virginia Roberts provided, taken by Epstein, we understand, in Ghislaine Maxwell's house.
Well, here's the problem.
I've never seen Epstein with a camera in my life.
I think it was Virginia Roberts' camera.
She said a little Kodak one that she lent to Epstein.
He took a photo and your arm is round her waist.
I don't remember that photograph ever being taken.
I don't remember going upstairs in the house because that photograph was taken upstairs.
How would you know if you've never been upstairs?
And I'm not entirely convinced That is what I would describe as me in that picture.
But we can't be certain as to whether or not that's my hand on her left side.
Because I have no recollection of that photograph ever being taken.
So why would somebody have put in another hand?
You see, in the 12th dimension, where the photograph was taken, my hand must have been a mere reflection from the 7th dimension, trickling in, of course, which is why I have no memory whatsoever of the event, because see, I was in the 11th dimension, looking at myself, looking at many versions of myself.
And now for my next argument.
What is a hand?
What is a hand?
What does a hand even mean?
You see, during that period of my life, I was completely transparent because of the war.
You see, light traveled straight through me.
I could not possibly be photographed.
This requires light, so it's possible.
Yes, the invisibility cloak in the famous Harry Potter books was actually based on my skin from the time.
Now, now, now, have you ever seen The Addams Family?
In the Addams Family, there is, of course, famously, a hand, a disembodied hand, and at the time, in Epstein's mansion, they were filming, of course, as we all remember, the Addams Family!
You see, this was not special effects, you see, this was an actual hand that had gained intelligence.
No, no, that is my hand, but I'm not sure I recognize her waist.
No, no, that is her waist, but I just don't think that's actually Virginia.
It's impossible because I've never, I've never was upstairs.
I never saw the double stairway leading to the hallway upstairs with a vase and artwork.
Just looks off screen in the middle of the interview.
Line, line please!
Dude, this is fucking bad!
This is so bad!
I love it.
He must have just been halfway through.
The BBC people in the fucking control room must have been just rubbing their hands together in absolute glee.
Just smacking their lips.
We will have the highest ratings!
But you know what's really weird is that he finished this interview and went to his team and apparently reportedly said like, oh, it went really well.
It went great.
God, how arrogant do you have to be?
He obviously prepared nothing.
He's like, I'll just go out there, wing it.
I'm not going to get my story straight against the accusations that I'm a, I've been associated with a pedophile and have been, you know, had sex with an underage girl.
You think you just like take two seconds to get a story straight.
Even if he was innocent or guilty, it's so fucking hard.
Just lie!
Just lie with confidence!
Is the picture photoshopped?
Absolutely, yes.
My entire team has dissected it and yes, it is 100% photoshopped.
That's all you have to say instead of, well it is a photograph within a photograph in the 11th dimension of another photograph and so therefore you cannot...
I think this finally answers the question of how stupid do you have to be to not be allowed to hang out with Epstein?
And it's somewhere between Prince Andrew and Trump.
That's the line.
There's a line there somewhere and he's like, I'm sorry, you're too dumb for pedophilia.
You cannot hang with us.
The Prince, gifted as he is with powers of knowing what the upstairs of a house looks like that he's never been to, is sadly stumped with this question.
Why would somebody have put in another hand, belonging to someone who looks exactly like him but who is dressed in different clothes in a photograph allegedly taken by a man who never took a photograph in his life?
Who could have such powers of manipulation?
And why would they use them against the Prince, who is a must-dress here, I believe to be completely innocent of all wrongdoing?
It's here that I start to wonder if something even more sinister is at play.
Perhaps something deeper than we're prepared to handle.
What if the reason our honourable Prince Andrew kept Epstein and known paedophiles so close was because he was working on a secret operation to blow the whole Sordid network wide open.
It makes perfect sense.
To begin to untangle this operation, you would of course have to implicate yourself, perhaps by visiting Epstein, say, three times a year, flying in his private jet, inviting him on casual shooting weekends, that sort of thing.
Perhaps you would even send coded messages to your fellow operatives, Possibly an anonymous message board of some kind, just to try and get the truth out while retaining a veil of secrecy.
See, Annie, your country is learning.
Your country is slowly learning.
I can see your brain growing heavy with mist.
Yeah, I think I'm looking into the dark side.
I can picture it.
Prince Andrew sat in Buckingham Palace on a laptop, desperately trying to think of a codename that won't give away his true identity.
And he looks up to see the first letter of his mother's title embroidered on a tapestry.
It's the perfect cover!
Or so he thinks.
Of course, as we all know, the Deep State won't give up without a fight, and so our noble prince must endure these smears, all while fighting against the forces of darkness that surround him.
Thank goodness he still seems to have the enduring support of his family.
And, if it ever gets too much, the delicious cheese pizza's available to him at Working Pizza Express.
That was the other thing, right?
He said that night he was at home eating pizza?
Yeah.
No, he said he was at Woking Pizza Express.
Pizza Express is like a pizza chain that's very famous in the UK.
So he didn't even get it delivered?
He just... He didn't even get it delivered.
And also what's weird is that nobody Like, you know, if you worked at Pizza Express, which is just, like, there's one in every single town, like, you would remember the time that a royal, a member of the royal family came in, right?
Like, someone would be like, oh yeah, I remember that night, that was when, like, the royal, like, when Prince Andrew came in.
But nobody has.
Which just seems unusual.
I just love it.
You know, it's amazing to me, I mean, this goes back to Julian, your hypothesis earlier that he's just a big diaper baby boy, because it's like, when you think about the answers that he gives in this interview, it's like a child who's gotten caught red-handed and is lying, like that answer where they were like, well yes, Epstein, you know, she'd given him her camera, Or she was like, yes, Epstein took the picture.
And he's like, see, the problem with that is I never saw Epstein with a camera in my light.
Like, that's the worst fucking answer.
Like, oh, no, here's how I can save myself.
I never saw him hold a camera ever.
The gravity in Epstein's house travels is much stronger.
And so light is bent downwards.
And so it's actually impossible to take pictures there.
Yeah.
I'm a vampire.
Therefore, I should not show up in pictures or mirrors.
Just incredible guy.
What a fucking prince.
What a king.
What a future king.
If this guy doesn't kill every, like the seven people in line before him and take the fucking crown by end of year.
Julian will be very disappointed.
Yeah, I want to see this guy's king.
He'd be fantastic.
The truth about Prince Andrew.
As many of you know, I'm the historical facts guy on the podcast.
I always try my best to save Jake from rabbit holes and red pills.
And lately, perhaps due to the upcoming British elections, Jake has been particularly vulnerable to untruths about the United Kingdom.
I've heard him make wild claims like, quote, anyone with a bloody conscience would vote Labour, and, quote, the Tories have bodged early access survival games but Jezza will make them great again.
You know, cheeky rubbish like that.
So I've decided to bring him some facts about the royal family that should help him keep his feet on the ground.
Now, for this purpose, I consulted respected British historian David Icke, whose work shed some light on the recent BBC interview with Prince Andrew.
Through my research, I discovered the real reason Prince Andrew was unable to perspire or display public affection in 2001.
He is a descendant of the Draco, an ancient reptilian bloodline that has ruled over mankind for millennia.
I know him.
I know it well.
According to a scientist working for famed scientific repository Quora.com Oh yeah, love that site.
It's a great site.
Quote, reptiles do not sweat.
In order to sweat, you must possess an endothermic metabolism and sweat glands.
Reptiles have neither.
They are exothermic, commonly referred to as cold-blooded.
Editor's note, this explains the lack of affection in public.
They have no way to control temperature, other than to change their immediate environment.
Now, I googled reptilian age of consent, but was unable to find more information on the matter.
Oh, I've got tons of stuff on that.
Yeah, you've got stuff?
Okay.
If you want to talk later, I can...
I can forward some of my research.
Okay, I don't want to talk later, but do email me.
Okay.
In his 1991 treatise, The Biggest Secret, David Icke exposed the royal family's true nature, despite, in his own words, being told by friends, quote, for God's sake, don't mention the reptiles.
But how exactly was David...
And how exactly was David able to predict what we all now know with 100% certainty about Prince Andrew?
That he is a reptilian shapeshifter?
Well, here are the basics.
As open-minded scientists are now confirming, creation consists of an infinite number of frequencies or dimensions of life sharing the same space in the same way that radio and television frequencies do.
At the moment you are tuned to the three-dimensional world, or third dimension, and so that is what you perceive as your reality.
Some people, everyone if truth be told, can tune their consciousness to other wavelengths and connect with information and consciousness operating on that frequency.
We call this psychic power, but it's merely the ability to move your dial to another station.
It is from one of these other stations or dimensions that the serpent race, the Anunnaki, is controlling this world by, quote, possessing certain bloodline streams.
But as my research continues, it is clear that the fourth dimensional reptilian controllers are themselves controlled by fifth dimensional entities.
Where does it end?
Who the hell knows?
Yeah yeah yeah, I know, it sounds off the wall, but the truth usually does.
So it is thus worth considering whether Prince Andrew is also a pedophile in the fourth and fifth dimensions.
Or if those are considered akin to international waters where you can have an innocent sleepover at your friend Epstein's.
There's also the question of the recently surfaced photos of Prince Andrew visibly sweating, photos taken during the same period as the alleged 2001 incident.
Now, if real, they appear to contradict the claims he made in the BBC interview.
But using David Icke's theories and basic deductive reasoning, one can easily understand such complex matters.
Prince Andrew is not fully reptilian.
He is in fact a hybrid, simultaneously capable of sweating on underage girls and not sweating at all.
Here's a passage from David Icke's book on the evolution of the bloodlines and the resulting hybridization program.
I think the reptilian genetic stream operates throughout the universe.
And they are not all malevolent.
Far from it.
I'm identifying a particular group of them.
Not the whole species.
I cannot emphasize this enough.
This controlling group came here from the Draco constellation and elsewhere, and this
is the origin of terms like Draconian, a word which sums up their attitudes and agendas.
They love to consume human blood, and they are the blood-sucking demons of legend.
The vampire stories are symbolic of this, and what is the name of the most famous vampire?
Count Dracula!
The Count symbolizes the aristocratic reptile human crossbreed bloodlines which the reptilians
possess from the lower fourth dimension, and Dracula is an obvious reference again to Draco.
The reptilians operate a pincer movement on the human race.
Their physical expression lives under the ground and interacts in the underground bases with human and human reptile crossbreed scientists and military leaders.
They also...
Oh my god.
They also emerge to engage in some human abductions, but the main control comes by outright possession.
The crossbreeding program, via sex and test tube, is described in the Sumerian tablets and the Old Testament.
The sons of God who interbred with the daughters of men.
These hybrid human-reptile lines carry the reptilian genetic code and thus can be far more easily possessed by
humans.
possessed by the reptilians of the lower fourth dimension.
As we shall see, these bloodlines became the British and European aristocracy and royal
families.
So, as you see, Prince Andrew's physical structure is the result of crossbreeding,
and not just, as we previously believed, inbreeding.
Although inbreeding did also occur because The reptilian bloodlines are seeking to maintain a genetic
structure which allows them to move between dimensions and shapeshift between a human and reptilian
appearance.
Once the genetic structure falls too far from its reptilian origin, they can't shapeshift in this way.
In the interview, as we all remember, Prince Andrew's rapidly blinking eyes bulged and his tongue flicked back
and forth, much in the same manner as a reptile's.
Oh god.
The evidence is overwhelming.
It's funny because it's true.
This may have been caused by the contamination of his blood by repeated contact with underaged humans.
Now, that certainly would account for the fact that he now seems to be sweating full time.
Because I consider myself an evidence-based researcher, I've even found a first-hand account of the goings-on within the royal family that could potentially shed some light on the matter.
It comes from Arizona Wilder, a former mother goddess and long-time performer of satanic rituals for the royals.
Here's what she told David Icke about some of the highest-ranked royals.
The Queen Mother.
She's cold, cold, cold.
A nasty person.
None of her cohorts even trusted her.
They have named an altar, bracket's mind control program, after her.
They call it the Black Queen.
I have seen her sacrifice people.
I remember her pushing a knife into someone's rectum that night the two boys were sacrificed.
One was 13 and the other 18.
You need to forget that the Queen Mother appears to be a frail old woman.
When she shapeshifts into a reptilian she becomes very tall and strong.
Some of them are so strong they can rip out a heart and they all grow by several feet when they shapeshift.
The Queen.
I have seen her sacrifice people and eat their flesh and drink their blood.
One time she got so excited with the bloodlust that she didn't cut the victim's throat from left to right in the normal ritual, she just went crazy, stabbing and ripping at the flesh after she'd shape-shifted into a reptilian.
When she shape-shifts, she has a long reptile face, almost like a beak, and she's an off-white colour.
The Queen Mother looks basically the same, but there are differences.
She also has light bumps on her head and her eyes are very frightening.
She's very aggressive.
Prince Charles.
I've seen him shapeshift into a reptilian and do all the things the Queen does.
I have seen him sacrifice children.
There is a lot of rivalry between them for who gets to eat what part of the body and
who gets to absorb the victim's last breath and steal their soul.
I've also seen Andrew participate and I have seen Prince Philip and Charles' sister Anne
at the rituals, but they didn't participate when I was there.
When Andrew shapeshifts, he looks more like one of the lizards.
The royals are some of the worst, okay, as far as enjoying the killing, enjoying the sacrifice, and eating the flesh.
They're some of the worst of all of them.
They don't care who sees them at the rituals.
They are what they are, and they show it outright.
They don't care if you see it.
Who are you going to tell?
Who is going to believe you?
They feel that it is their birthright and they love it.
They love it.
So, yeah, as you can see in this, Prince Andrew doesn't even have a cool reptile form.
He's just a base reptile.
So, that's a little sad for him, but these accounts of the Queen seem highly accurate.
I mean, they describe the same aggressive and frightening behavior she exhibited when refusing to throw a birthday party for Prince Andrew just because he's a pedophile who unconvincingly lied on national television.
And by that, of course, I mean a reptilian-human hybrid of the Draco and or Anunnaki bloodline.
So many following the Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein sagas are asking themselves, how can we protect our children from these nightmarish ruling class predators?
While those concerns are valid, but not as valid as David Icke's concerns about an even more sinister plot.
Children being indoctrinated into feeling comfortable with anthropomorphic reptiles.
Children's movies and television series are awash with reptilian imagery.
Mario Brothers is based on the idea that the dinosaurs were not wiped out by the meteorite, and in fact the impact created a parallel dimension where the dinosaurs continued to live and thrive and evolved into intelligent humanoids.
The film's heroes go into an underground passage where they fall into that other dimension and battle with humanoid dinosaurs to prevent the invasion of this dimension.
The children's series Barney is about a friendly reptilian and mutant ninja turtles are amphibian reptilian fighters of crime and injustice.
Dinosaurs in the early 1990s was a children's television program about a lovable family of dinosaurs, interestingly called the Sinclair family, One of them is called Earl.
Cartoons like Dinosaurs, Mutant League, G.I.
Joe and Dino Powerhouse also include intelligent reptile beings.
A coincidence?
Of course not.
A coincidence that I watched every single one of those shows, also not.
Not a coincidence.
I absolutely love that he somehow watched the Mario Brothers movies, which is like, that is a very specific approach to Mario Brothers, just watching the movie and being like, as we all know about Mario Brothers, very bad movie.
Yeah, one of the few to watch it, one of the few to gain intelligence from it.
Yeah but like I mean it does actually go deeper than that because they've got loads of little lizards in like the Mario games like Koopa and Koopa and Troopa?
I'm not sure what their names are.
The little turtles!
The little turtles!
They're quite lizard-like.
Little turtles, little mushrooms, all the Koopa kids in Super Mario Brothers 3.
Yeah he's turning, yeah pulling radishes out of the ground, turning into a fucking raccoon, spinning through the air.
Whatever the fuck Yoshi is I'm not really sure.
Yeah, Yoshi's a reptilian for sure.
He eats eggs, I mean... Yeah?
Yeah.
He eats eggs?
He eats eggs, he eats mushrooms, eats turtles, spits out the shells.
I mean, he's a, you know, he's probably one of the sixth dimension reptilians.
One of the worst.
Yeah, he's one of the worst.
He's open about eating children.
He's so fragile, you know, he gets scared, he runs away, falls into a pit, you know, you can't get him back.
It's impossible to get him back.
It's impossible to get him back.
Fucking Yoshi.
You get a panic attack when you see him running faster than you,
away, off screen, possibly to his death.
Absolutely.
Well, besides forbidding our children from watching 90s television, what can we
do on the eve of a new decade about the satanic cabal of pedophilic elites controlling our world?
Well, knowing that they're serpents belonging to an ancient satanic brotherhood
is a good first step, obviously.
But what comes next may shock you.
The answer to our predicament is love.
David Icke, near the end of his book, explains.
I don't hate these reptilians.
I want to love them because it's what they need so desperately.
Their behavior can only come from a lack of self-love because only by loving yourself for what you are can you begin to truly love others for what they are.
So I love you Queen of England, Queen Mother, Prince Charles, Prince Philip, Pindar, Henry Kissinger, George Bush, Edward Heath, and all the rest.
If these people would only love themselves, this nightmare, and their nightmare.
So, hopefully this information will keep you and Jake on the right path.
Using science and facts, we can defeat our enemy.
But if we close our eyes to the truth, we are doomed to remain lost until the entire planet is transformed into a little St.
James terrarium replete with heat lamps and plastic rocks.
Man, I feel smart.
Yeah, I'm glad that... Yeah, it was a bit of a science overload there.
Yeah, my brain is heavy with facts.
Yeah we might we might lose some of our audience just from the level of intelligence.
The high level ideas.
I love that his list here at the end includes Queen of England, Queen Mother, and then in the middle of all the names before Henry Kissinger he includes Pindar who is like like an ancient demon.
And I'm guessing George Bush is a reptilian, too?
Oh yeah, of course.
Yeah, George Bush is a reptilian as well.
He doesn't really say which Bush, though.
I mean, I guess they're families.
Oh, no, the whole family.
It's a bloodline.
Whole family.
It's a bloodline.
Whole family reptilians.
Yeah.
Jeb, too.
Draco bloodline.
Jeb is probably the Prince Andrew.
Yeah, I don't know.
His form is more just... He's a hybrid.
He looks like shit.
His blood is muddled.
Muddled with muggle blood.
He's a loser.
The institution of the Bonnegie is beyond repression.
Beyond repression.
Prince Andrew's Wild Night.
Right, is that what we're doing?
Yep.
Oh boy, here we go.
That's what we're doing, Jake.
Oh boy, did I write this?
I hope not.
I don't think so.
Double Kill.
The words flashed across the screen in large, gratuitous letters.
Andrew's eyes squinted.
He leaned forward in his easy chair that was made of solid gold.
Come on, you prat!
Andrew squeaked through his teeth, his grip so tight on the controller you could almost hear the plastic buckle and snap.
Andrew, we're going to be late to the ball.
I've left you £100 on the kitchen counter for pizza.
as his tiny red space marine ragdolled off into eternity.
A proud but frail voice called from beyond the gilded double doors.
Andrew, we're going to be late to the ball.
I've left you 100 pounds on the kitchen counter for pizza.
Okay, mom!
Andrew called over his shoulder, not taking his eyes off the screen.
Fucking beautiful.
A night home alone.
Just Andrew, his small fluffy dog, approximately 1.4 billion dollars worth of classical art, and a whole backlog of Xbox games he'd been dying to dig into.
He hadn't even gotten to the PvP portion of The Division 2.
A real shame.
Andrew perused his library.
Day-Z?
Nah, too lonely, he thought.
Outer Worlds?
That was supposed to be really good!
Nah, no third person, Andrew scoffed as he scrolled through what seemed like an endless list of games limited to two or three genres.
Despite the brightly colored tiles with enticing artwork, Andrew couldn't help but feel a sense of profound emptiness as he scrolled through his catalog.
Bzzz!
His phone vibrated across a nearby priceless bust.
Andrew dove for it.
Anything to distract him from the realization he had sunk likely thousands of dollars into games he would never finish.
He picked up the phone.
Yo, what are you fucking doing tonight?
Andrew recognized the voice immediately.
Jeff!
What's up, mate?
Dude, fucking nothing.
What are you doing?
Eh, not too much, mate.
Just here at the palace, playing some video games and stuff.
Why, what you got?
Apparently there's this fucking party at the Eiffel Tower.
Could be chill.
Could fucking blow.
I don't know.
I'm bored.
Andrew looked at himself.
He was wearing sweatpants and a purple gap sweater.
No condition for going out.
Plus, tonight was an Andrew night.
Vids.
Pizza.
And, if he was being honest with himself, some porn on his phone, a couple inches away from his face as he brought himself to orgasm in a dark room, alone.
Just absolutely unnecessary!
No, man.
I would, but I probably should stay home tonight.
You know, gotta hold down the fort with Mum at the gala and all.
I'll catch you later, though, man.
Have fun.
Andrew said as he threw on some pants and a button-down and told Geoff he'd be downstairs in 15 minutes.
He didn't really want to go out.
It wasn't his style on a Tuesday night to go rage at some touristy club in a secret compartment within the Eiffel Tower.
In fact, in his mind, he wasn't really going at all.
That was it, he thought.
He was just pretending to go out.
It's what people did.
Andrew stood nervously on the private roundabout waiting for Jeff to pick him up.
Jeff was a loose cannon.
One minute they'd be laughing and telling stories.
The next minute, Jeff would be out cold on the floor having been knocked out for saying something totally offensive to either a complete stranger or even a close friend.
Jeff had a habit of getting knocked out.
A lot.
After a couple minutes, Andrew saw the headlights reflecting off the long, perfectly manicured driveway.
A white Bentley pulled to a stop in front of them, and the back door swung open, revealing Jeffrey Epstein in a crisp white button-down with a 49ers cap turned backwards on his head.
What's up, you fucking bitch?
Epstein laughed and beckoned for Andrew to join him in the back of the car.
Andrew, a little hesitant, Leaped into the Bentley and asked the driver to insert an auxiliary cable he had brought with him.
As the tunes blared, Epstein shouted towards the driver, To the Eiffel Tower!
Andrew was used to it.
This was how transportation for rich people worked.
Hop in a car, yell a destination, and a network of people will accept middle-class salaries to make it happen for you.
Andrew felt ashamed as he commented on the stench of the driver's unwashed uniform as he and Epstein cackled to one another.
After a couple minutes, Epstein gave Andrew a cheeky look before producing a bag of marijuana from his jacket pocket.
You want to smoke this chronic?
Andrew felt his heart skip a beat.
If there was one thing he knew to be true about himself, it was that he, Prince Andrew, never did drugs.
He thought back to the police officers that had come into his school when he was just a lad and taught him about where his life could end up if he chose a path of drugs.
Um, no thanks, Andrew said as he extracted the oily concentrate from the marijuana and free-basted it out of a small glass bubbler using a blowtorch.
The wheels of a sleek private jet skidded off the runway.
Andrew watched, eyes wide, as the pulsing city, literally breathing with life, got smaller and smaller beneath them.
Epstein was trying to scratch a white crusty substance off the leg of his pants.
The sound of his nails scratching against the rough denim echoed deep into Prince Andrew's ears.
He was losing it.
He should have never taken a dab that big.
Who was he trying to impress?
Some rich punk like Epstein?
He was a prince for goodness sakes!
A fucking prince!
In his mind, He wasn't even here.
He was home alone, munching on pizza, and finally getting some decent gear in Neverwinter.
That's where I am, he said out loud as he sprinkled LSD into each one of his eyes and removed his shirt.
Andrew peered into the fourth dimension as the landscape crawled by his motionless airship.
Dude, you are so fucking faded.
Here, take this.
He could barely make out Epstein's outline.
His vision seemed to flex and blur.
He was falling, falling backwards into infinity.
Here, take this.
The silhouette he was fairly certain was Epstein pushed a small pile of white powder towards his nose.
No, no, stay back, Andrew yelled.
The words came pouring out of him.
I've had enough.
This is not who I am.
I am not some sort of ne'er-do-well, hell-bent on destroying my temple
with the devil's gunpowder or anything else for that matter, Andrew declared as he licked his finger,
dipped it in the powder, and inserted it directly up his asshole.
LAUGHTER LAUGHTER
Sounds of laughter His eyes mutated into two large dinner plates and a pained expression gripped his face.
The next thing he knew, he was walking into a secret elevator at the base of the Eiffel Tower, feeling fresh as fuck.
Prince Andrew's swag was on 100,000 million.
The cocaine was 100% doing its thing.
He was also adamant that he was not fucked up in the slightest and was, in fact, still totally sober, sitting at home playing Fable 3.
He was in his 50s, after all.
He barely ever drank.
He remembered about himself as he leered at a bartender, pouring a gin and tonic down his throat.
He glanced around the room, searching for Epstein.
Despite Epstein's ability to manipulate Andrew into doing drugs and other things he never would do otherwise, Andrew considered him to be one of his best friends and would do anything he could to protect him, alive or dead.
The mood of the party had begun to shift.
Out of the corner of his eye, Prince Andrew could have sworn he saw what looked like a forked tongue flicking in and out of some sweaty partygoer.
Andrew was dry as a bone.
After a military accident had rendered his glands useless, Andrew enjoyed the comforts of a perspirationless body.
He casually walked up to a young woman who couldn't have been older than 18 and confidently blurted out, I don't even drink, really.
I don't like to party at all.
And I'm certainly only interested in women my own age.
He laughed, taking the girl's cell phone out of her purse and adding his number to her contacts.
Just then, Epstein appeared with shaving cream smeared all over his face.
He was wearing a Grande Armée uniform and reeked of booze and dope.
Dude, fuckin', we should go to this after party.
What's after party?
Prince Andrew yelled, exasperated.
I know dude, people are saying there's an after party.
Prince Andrew crossed his arms firmly across his chest.
No, I'm sorry, but no, I want to go home.
I've more than met you halfway tonight.
A prince shouldn't be associated with such late night tomfoolery.
I don't even drink!
Epstein sighed.
He hung his head and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket.
Dude, are you really fucking telling me that you, the Prince of fucking Wales or whatever, don't want to come to a party in the fucking catacombs with a convicted sexual predator like me?
It's fucking unbelievable, dude.
Andrew hung his head.
He knew Epstein was right.
A man in the public eye, royalty such as he, had every right to do whatever he pleased and suffer not one single consequence to show for it.
He decided tonight he would take a break from his mild-mannered, respectable lifestyle and really cut a rug with his pedophile pal.
Just this once, Andrew winked and remembered the three other times this past month he and Epstein had raped underage girls.
Holy shit!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
I'm sorry.
Oh boy.
I'm sorry.
And it gets worse.
I'm so sorry to everybody.
My mom, my dad, my new nephew.
Sorry.
The torch burned bright as Prince Andrew and his friend Jeff made their way through the dark catacomb corridors.
Andrew brushed aside large globs of cobwebs, and the two descended further and further into the darkness.
Jeff was looking at his phone, an annoyed expression on his face.
Dude, fuckin', they said it would be right here!
All of a sudden, a strange chanting startled the two men.
MOS ULTIMUM LINEAR REGULUM EST!
Morse Ultima Linear Railroad X!
Morse Ultima Linear Railroad X!
Jeff's eyes lit up.
He took off towards the sound of the chanting voices.
Prince Andrew rolled his eyes, chuckled, and took off after him.
Here we go again!
The men emerged into a large chamber.
About a hundred people were scattered about, drinking dark-colored wine out of golden goblets.
At least, it looked like wine.
Andrew recognized some of the people from the bar, but now, in the light of the torch-lit cavern, he could see their long, scaly snouts and thin pupils.
A couple of them waved their long, shiny tails in his direction.
A shady looking guy in a robe winked at Epstein and motioned them over.
Epstein nodded, gestured to Andrew, and the two of them snuck into what looked like an ancient bathroom.
A handful of humans and reptilians were huddled around the sink, taking a live human baby out of a plastic baggie.
A couple of them looked annoyed when Epstein and Prince Andrew entered the room and closed the door behind them.
Andrew?
Andrew's face turned pale.
The voice was unmistakable.
Mum?
Everyone looked at the Queen with bated breath.
This was incredibly awkward.
The Queen fumbled a bit.
It's not as it appears, dearie.
This is just, well, a once in a blue moon sort of thing.
Andrew exhaled with relief.
Yeah, um, same with me.
The Queen let out a little bit of a smile.
Well, I suppose eventually we'd have shared this together, so might as well be now.
You're old enough.
She said, handing him a razor blade.
Bottoms up, said Prince Andrew, slicing into the baby's adrenal gland and slurping the thick, silvery juice out of it.
Baby cannibalism.
We can't do full descriptions of babies.
Come on!
Well, Annie could get sued.
She's in that country.
Okay, okay, okay.
But can I just fit there's like two that I've had like two more lines. That was the worst of it
It's it's over. Okay. Okay. Let me just finish the story, please. Thank you. Yes, okay
Let's see So Prince Andrew then handed the child to the Queen whose
skin crackled and molted as she seemed to grow two feet taller
Leaned in and began to tear at its flesh with her crooked teeth
No, no, no. No way.
That's good.
Okay.
No.
Alright.
Alright, that's it, okay.
Aw, come on you guys, come on, please.
There's just one last little section and then it's done, I promise, okay?
Alright, make it not gross.
Okay, okay.
The other people in a small cramped restroom with wild rage in their eyes took hold
of the innocent child and began ripping it limb from limb.
I thought there was going to be no more baby murder.
This is the first story that just can't finish.
We're just going to cut you off right there.
There's like a whole other paragraph on what they're doing to the baby and how the baby is.
Yeah, but we don't care.
Alright, fine.
Fine.
You know what?
People are going to accuse me of stuff again.
The end.
The end.
That's the story.
I wonder what they were going to do next, but unfortunately this long description here that I'm reading with my own eyes and it's certainly not just a blank space planned in advance by Jake because he ran out of time last night will have to suffice.
Wow.
Also, congrats on being an uncle, man.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Yes, the baby.
My brother had a baby and he was named after a king!
Yeah?
Yeah.
Which one?
I do not want to dox the child!
So Annie, do you think there's any risk we get in trouble for that story?
I mean, you were saying the libel laws are pretty intense over there?
Yeah, they're pretty intense.
I would say like maybe, I don't know, maybe introduce it a little bit as like a fan fiction or something like that.
So there we go.
It's introduced retroactively by Annie.
That was a fan fiction.
This is a fan fiction story written by a writer who was experimenting with farce, irony, and not asserting that Any of the things happening in this story were real, true, or even remotely close to something resembling the truth.
Yeah, because even though it is 100% factually correct that he is a shape-shifting reptile, the stuff he does in the story is beyond the pale.
Yes, yes, yes.
He would never.
Yeah, would never happen.
No, because he's a failed Draco.
You know, he's unable to perpetrate the crimes ever since the Falkland incident.
He's been the good one in the royal family.
So if you think about what, just in your mind right now, conjure up what you think of Prince Andrew and what he's done, okay?
Every single member of the royal family is worse than that.
Every single one of them.
And so since you just conjured up him being great and awesome, they're just slightly worse, which is still fantastic people.
But that is the final word, and it is the stance of the entire podcast, other than Annie Kelly, who, in fact, does not hold any of the beliefs that you have heard so far on this podcast.
And thanks so much for joining us for that, Annie.
And for voicing the Queen so well!
Yeah, an absolute pleasure, to be sure.
Yeah, I should have been watching The Crown.
Is that like a thing that your mums are into?
Yeah.
Over here, if you're a British mum, you're really into The Crown.
You watch that on Netflix.
Yeah, my mum was like, it's lovely!
And I'm like, yeah, not really.
I don't know if my mum has watched it, but it sounds like something she might be into.
Yeah, they all... All mums are into it, yeah.
All moms love like the soft colonialism where they're like, but there was still love back then.
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So we're doing a show in the small, quaint UK town of Los Angeles on Saturday, February 8th.
You can get tickets at tickets.qanonanonymous.com.
You can join us to chat and hang out with listeners at discord.qanonanonymous.com.
There's t-shirts, mugs, and other stuff at merch.qanonanonymous.com.
Every now and again I might jump into the Discord chat, you know, just to check my mic levels before going to play a game.
So I want to give a shout out to Rev for helping me check my mic levels the other night.
It was really helpful.
Incredible.
Wow.
Just using our fans.
Using our fans is like the Skype test call.
Do you expect anything less?
Yes.
Well, come there for your absent father and for the guy who actually is involved with the community, Travis View.
Thank you, Travis, so much for being there every day and helping the moderators run that thing.
Yeah.
I pop in occasionally.
I mostly lurk.
All right.
Listener, until next week, may the deep dish bless you and keep you.
It's not a conspiracy.
It's fact.
And now, today's AutoCue.
It's energy, information, consciousness.
And not solid, physical, this reality.
It means that things like shape-shifting become explainable.
Because when I talk about these hybrid bloodlines, they're actually hybrid information fields.
And when I'm looking at you now, I am decoding your waveform field.
And you, as I'm seeing, in the form that I'm seeing, exist here.
Right?
Now, if you were a hybrid, one of these bloodlines, you could shift that other part of the hybrid field.
So that becomes the dominant.
Now as the observer, I'm decoding that one.
So here, you would be something that's not human.
To my experience, you have physically, solidity, moved from one body to another.
But no, the only place the shift goes on, physically, illusory physically, is in the decoding processes of the observer.
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