Episode 62: Australianon (Boonta Vista Crossover) feat Lucy Valentine & Andrew Law
Boonta Vista joins us to explore: the Aussie prime minister's friendship with QAnon influencer Burned Spy. Pine Gap (Australia's US-run Area 51) and its alleged role in surveillance and drone strike operations. The CIA-backed 1975 Australian coup. And, finally, the story of Mad Max Rockatansky featuring Lucy Valentine and Andrew Law.
Listen to Boonta Vista: www.boontavista.com
Follow Lucy: twitter.com/lucyXIV
Follow Andrew: twitter.com/IllyBocean
Sub to QAA for $5 a month at patreon.com/qanonanonymous
DON'T MISS THE 2ND EPISODE EVERY WEEK!
Welcome, listener, to the 62nd chapter of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Bunta Vista crossover episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rakitansky, Lucy Valentine, Julian Fields, Andrew Lowell, and Travis View.
Blokes, mates, and Sheilas.
Off to a great start, Jules.
Our official Australian episode, developed in collaboration with our friends over at the Bunta Vista podcast.
So what exactly is on the table?
Well, it was recently discovered that the Aussie Prime Minister's close friend who goes by Burned Spy is heavily into QAnon.
This scandal, known as Mategate, has absolutely destroyed the PM's reputation and guaranteed he will never work in government again.
Just kidding, he's faced little to no repercussions.
There's also the question of Pine Gap, a mysterious facility in the middle of Australia that may or may not be involved in alien shit, spy shit, surveillance shit, and or war crimes shit.
Guess we'll have to find out.
Finally, Jake has prepared another one of his wonderful stories and cast our poor Australian friends as its protagonists.
I wish them luck.
They're gonna need it.
But before all that...
Now first up, I do want to mention that this past week Trump held a rally in Dallas, Texas, and there was a substantial QAnon presence there.
Thank you everybody for buying your tickets through us.
There are lots and lots of QAnon shirts, there are QAnon signs, and there were a few reports of people being kicked out of the venue by security for their Q shirts and signs.
So they never seem to wonder why they get booted out of the Trump rallies for their QAnon presence if Trump is down with QAnon.
Yeah, there's nothing more delicious than seeing on their Twitter feed the before and after, the like smiling in front of the rally and then them being kicked out by some security guy who couldn't give a shit about what they have to say.
Heartbreaking.
But again, if you're a Trump follower and you're going to these things, you're cattle.
You're nothing to them.
They will feed off you.
You are, especially if you're also a QAnon follower, you are a glutton for punishment.
You go hoping that the security guards will put their hands on you and push you not so gently out of the venue.
The deep state has infiltrated the security detail of Trump rallies.
It goes so deep.
I mean, finally, when they're going to be used as like a human Ottoman for Trump's own feet, they're going to be like, man, it sucks to have lost half of Trump's body to the deep state.
They will go to their fucking tombs thinking that Trump is awesome.
Second story.
The battle between 8-Kun and Frederick Brennan continues.
So, like I mentioned last week, 8chan creator Frederick Brennan has been working to disrupt the relaunch of 8chan, which is called 8-Kun.
He's been successful so far, and in fact, 8-Kun would probably be live right now if it wasn't for Frederick's efforts.
So first Frederick discovered that 8Koon was relying on a server provider called Zaire.
After Frederick made Zaire aware of this, the company discontinued services to 8Koon.
But then 8Koon started using new IP addresses in order to try and still use the Zaire network, but they were caught and banned again.
So a spokesperson for Zaire released the following statement.
We are not willing to provide services to 8chan or 8kun. We have had no contact with
anyone called Jim Watkins. I can only assume the details used when they signed up were fake,
which is why we were not aware they were on our network until informed.
After this, Frederick discovered that 8kun started relying on cloud computing infrastructure
owned by Alibaba and Tencent, both of which are based in China. So he wrote a letter to
those companies letting them know what's going on.
He wrote a letter and he paid to have it translated into Chinese.
Yes, he's going whole hog.
And in fact, so far, Alibaba has responded just a few hours ago.
It was reported that Alibaba has also discontinued services to 8kun.
Welcome to the resistance, Alibaba.
Another corporation joins our troops.
8kun owner Jim Watkins did post a video in which he gripes about his inability to get the site up.
We've got to get the network working.
Every time I get a network connection, we get shut down.
So... Thank you for taking five Xanaxes before you recorded that 10 second long video.
Also, I can't tell, are those real sunglasses that he's wearing?
Or are those like a Snapchat filter that he's got?
So that actually, that was a long ass video.
He's been doing every single day, like 30, 40 minute videos.
He did one where he starts in the pitch black and then the sun comes up.
Like that's how long he's like fucking streaming in his mind into his phone.
He's singing sometimes.
He breaks in a song.
Yeah, he's been he's been on one trying to get this site up.
I don't know.
He's very persistent, but Frederick has been knocking it down.
In an interview with Vice News, Frederick Brennan was clear why he was so focused on keeping Akun offline.
One of the reasons I'm trying to get this done preemptively is so that QAnon cannot come back.
It is critical that 8kun does not come back at all, in any form, for any length of time.
Damn.
Yeah, he's been very insistent.
I mean, God, it would be...
Yeah, I mean, again, A. Coon would probably be alive right now if it wasn't for Frederick Brennan.
So, awesome work.
It's one of the few times where a chip on the shoulder has done great wonders for humanity, potentially.
How do they make the name worse?
Yeah, I don't... Yeah, it's... What is it?
I don't even know what it is.
Like, what's it a play on?
I don't know.
It's that terrible word you're not allowed to say, but without a T. I was gonna say, is that... It sounds like a racial slur, but I think they're playing off, like, the Japanese, like, kun, which is, like, saying san after a name.
It's, like, a male version of that, I assume.
Yeah.
Oh, that makes sense, yeah.
Love to log on to 8-Boy and do anti-Semitism.
Exactly.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah, just incredible stuff.
But yeah, Watkins is now... You can go check his YouTube if you're interested because every day great content goes up and it is... He is the wandering boomer.
It is beautiful.
He seems like... You don't think this is right for me to send people there, Travis?
No, I don't think there's really any value in watching Jim Watkins' content.
Yeah, he wants to get in on like the ordinary people becoming internet celebrities thing.
I think he's lived in, you know, somewhat anonymity for so long.
He's like, man, I could be like an influencer.
For Nazis.
The dream.
That's a dream. We're living the dream.
Scott Morrison and Burn Spy QAnon news crosses the pond to Australia when recently it's kind of been revealed that there is somebody extremely close to Prime Minister Scott Morrison who is also a big-time QAnon hit.
Has a bit of a following on Twitter and everything.
So, reading here from the Australian version of The Guardian, which broke the news.
They say, in Australia, one of the more significant QAnon figures tweets under the handle at burnspy34.
His username on there is burnnotice and he has a picture of the guy from Burn Notice.
That's what kills me.
It's a picture of Michael Weston from Burn Notice.
It's so embarrassing.
The most literal example we could think of.
I mean, there's a guy who goes by In The Matrix and it's just a picture of Morpheus.
Yeah, of course.
And then his background's like the red pill and the blue pill, like they're not, these are not people with layers.
Oh, it's all just such explicit, like, just role-playing, isn't it?
So, Burnspy34 has amassed 21,000 Twitter followers in just over a year.
Burnspy tweets daily about QAnon material including bizarre theories about former Liberal Party leader Alexander Downer and former Foreign Minister Julie Bishop.
The Guardian has learned the identity of Burnspy and established he is a long-standing family friend of the Australian Prime Minister and his wife Jenny.
The wife of Burned Spy works on the Prime Minister's staff.
So apparently, yeah, his wife is a staff member of the Prime Minister's and they all, like, she's great friends with the Prime Minister's wife and they all hang out all the time and have dinner and it's all very normal.
The wife of Burned Spy.
I would love to be described that way one day.
Is there a Mrs. Burned Spy?
Now, I feel like The Guardian is covering some bases here when they say there is no suggestion that the family's close relationship has influenced Morrison or that Burn Spy poses a danger, because Australia has very, very strict defamation laws.
I suspect that's why they haven't named the guy.
It is quite easy to find this guy's name online and the name of his wife.
But in Australian media, people tend to be quite cautious because it's pretty easy to get sued and owe someone several hundred thousand dollars.
A country more litigious than America's?
Right.
We don't need a First Amendment, guys.
Let's get kick-ass.
We can just say whatever about anything.
Yeah.
We could say Burn Spy's wife is Jake Rokitansky.
Yeah, in fact, no one can stop us.
What?
Come on, guys.
Come on.
On the Prime Minister's staff.
Although, however, it appears that the Guardian interviewed him because, as it says here, Burn Spy told the Guardian he has never sought to speak to the Prime Minister about QAnon.
Quote, I have never spoken to Scott about anything of a political nature.
I'm not an advisor.
The idea of me talking to him about this, it's just not true, he said.
Although the slightest bit of investigation will show up a whole bunch of him tweeting directly at the Prime Minister from his Twitter account.
Oh my god.
About laws and processes that have been established by pedophiles.
Oh my god.
Let's drain the Aussie swamp.
At Scott Morrison MP.
For fuck's sake.
Jesus Christ.
So when they get together for their, like, family dinners or whatever, is he like, is he like, hey, hey, Burn Spy, dude, you gotta stop tweeting at me.
Like, this is, you know, it's getting, this is, uh, this is getting involved with my professional business now.
Yeah, I don't know.
Just take it down one or two notches.
Just a bit.
And does Morrison do, like, anything related to this in his speeches or policy?
I mean, does this resonate with his belief system, even in a kind of shadowy way?
Very recently, yes.
In that, I guess, he does have the sort of anti-globalist bent of very nationalist, very isolationist, very we know what's best for us and no other country should be telling us what to do.
And that fits in very nicely, dovetails very nicely with Australian policies.
I think he'd believe in QAnon stuff for sure.
He's a huge idiot.
Absolutely.
He's not a smart man.
Huge moron.
He exudes dumb guy energy.
He basically uses the prime ministership at this point like he's a Make-A-Wish kid and he just gets to do stuff that he thinks is cool.
There was footage of him recently at a rugby game and he was out on the field being the water boy for the players.
What?
Running around and giving them bottles of water.
What?
Just running out on a break and handing bottles of water to everybody, jogging around, grinning like a fucking idiot.
Just hugely moronic energy.
No, I think that from Scott Morrison's point of view, this stuff dovetails with the anti-globalist stuff in the sense that Australia has political policies that are all like the conservative Australia, a little too much of it's bipartisan.
Conservative Australian political parties have those policies like we are extremely brutal on refugees and asylum seekers and you know put them in offshore detention camps and keep them in horrible conditions as an example to other people to say don't come here and of course the UN and all sorts of international bodies about refugee advocates Rightly horrified by this, you know, it's really horrible inhumane treatment, but it's a great reason for us to say, well, other countries shouldn't get a say in what we do.
And the same for other things like Australia's extremely pathetic contributions to things like efforts to reduce emissions.
We are one of the largest emitters per capita in the world.
We're up there!
We're finally getting noticed!
Coal rolling the planet!
But the conservative Australian view on this is well you know like there's way more people in China and they're emitting more than us so if even if we were to stop you know carbon emissions completely that wouldn't make any difference so everything gets molded into this view of no one from outside this country should be telling us what to do which is a great way of just defending the shitty stuff.
That you do.
So last week, due to how poorly the economy is ticking along, the IMF downgraded their projections for Australia's economy over the next several years.
And Scott Morrison went and gave a speech in response to this, in which he said, you know, we're not going to be told by the global elite how to run our economy internally.
And this was seen as a nod to the type of audience that is into QAnon type shit.
Yeah, definitely.
And I mean, even Trump recently talked about globalists at the UN, right?
I mean, this globalist language shit is... Yeah, I mean, this is part of, like, the whole New World Order conspiracy theory, which is decades, decades old.
That QAnon just kind of is amplifying and concentrating.
Definitely.
So Burn Spy has his own conspiracy theories which are kind of specific to Australia and Australian political culture.
Obviously he's on all the same harebrained shit as every other QAnon tweeter.
Just, you know, obsessing about the Mueller report and the impeachment and all that sort of stuff and how actually it's all a big genius move by Donald Trump.
Some who know Burnspy have become concerned about the extent of his immersion in the QAnon theory, saying it may leave him open to influence by others.
The family friendship is largely driven by the closeness between Mrs. Burnspy and Jemmy Morrison.
The pair have been lifelong friends, and the Guardian has learned the wife was recently employed on the Prime Minister's staff in a publicly funded position, but not in any policy or advisory capacity.
There is no evidence she shares her husband's view.
Again, we're just covering that arse there.
Just incredible.
Burn Spy's tweets have frequently been cited as world-class in QAnon research threads on 8chan, which is really the mark of quality that we're looking for.
The 8chan endorsement.
The irony being that the Morrison government recently tried to get Australian telecommunications companies to block 8chan altogether after it hosted the Christchurch terrorist attack videos because it's much easier to you
know say tech companies should sort this out rather than say maybe us
stop doing so much race baiting and you know division against refugees and
Muslims and weird anti-globalist rhetoric we should probably just get you
guys to block a Well, we don't even do that much.
So, you know, you're a step ahead.
We just say, well, I guess more people are going to keep dying.
Oh, it was very funny though when, I mean, nothing about the Christchurch terrorist attack was funny, but it was funny to me afterwards when some telecommunications companies did actually block 8chan from being available from their services.
And you could look at every post on, like Telstra is one of our big telcos, and every post on their social media was just all these chuds replying and saying, That's it, I'm cancelling my service because I can't get onto 8chan.
Like, what?
You know other people can see this.
If I can't have 8chan, I don't want the internet at all.
Yeah, it's like, you know, if I can't express my anti-semitic and racist rhetoric, also violent, then I'm cancelling all my shit.
Smashing my iPhone with a hammer.
So he's got these theories about Alexander Downer.
Now I'm not sure if you guys are aware of this through the connection with, what's his name, Stephen Papadopoulos or is it George Papadopoulos?
George Papadopoulos.
We actually just read his book.
Oh there you go.
Yes, we're up to speed!
So, George Papadopoulos had the connection with Alexander Downer, who was previously a senator and the leader of the Australian Conservative Party, the Liberals, while they were in opposition, and since retiring has been appointed to a diplomat role overseas.
And he wound up having a drink with George Papadopoulos, and George Papadopoulos said, hey, Russia has tens of thousands of emails from Hillary Clinton's server, and it's really going to mess her up in the election.
And Alexander Downer did what you're supposed to do, which is just come back and say, hey, this weirdo told me all this stuff.
So now George Papadopoulos is obsessed with the idea that Alexander Downer is like an undercover spy and was out to do a hit on him and he's done all of this for Hillary Clinton and the Clinton body count and everything.
And all of this is ignoring the reputation and the understanding of Alexander Downer as a figure locally, which is that this dude is 1000% as conservative and right-wing as it gets.
I'm sure he would be incredibly offended by the idea that he's, like, helped Hillary Clinton somehow.
Yeah.
And in Papadopoulos' book he says that Downer actually told him that he loved Hillary Clinton, so this is another example that Papadopoulos did not write his book.
He actually claims... Doesn't he claim in the book that Downer said that Obama was uppity?
Yeah, yeah.
He says that Downer was racist towards Obama and that he said that he loved Hillary Clinton and gushed about her.
And that he couldn't understand why he would hate one and love the other.
Yeah.
Which is just... Wow.
Yeah, now the book could be all lies, so take that with a grain of salt.
While I have no problem believing that Alexander Downer is a racist, I can't imagine any Australians using the word uppity when referring to a black guy, because it seems like an extremely Americanism.
Yeah, like that's a racist trope that we don't really have.
And we've got a lot of them!
You can pick from a grab bag of Australian tropes.
No shortage of racist tropes over here.
So yeah, Alexander Downer, very proud monarchist, and also like THE definition of a political elite.
He's like a third generation Australian politician.
One of his, I think his grandfather was A member of parliament in 1901 at Federation, like when Australia first became its own country according to England.
He has a suburb in the capital city named after his family.
And then his own father served in the Menzies government in the 60s and then he served in the Howard government in the 90s.
So like, massively entrenched political elite, extremely right-wing, extremely conservative.
So the idea that this guy is like, you know, a leftist spy acting on behalf of Hillary Clinton is extremely funny if you have no, like, no context about Alexander Downer.
But he does think it's a story.
He also thinks other things are stories.
Like Julie Bishop, the former Foreign Minister.
Again, very conservative, rich ex-lawyer.
And here's a series of tweets from Burnspy34.
He says, now this is intriguing, emoji with the monocle.
Now something I really enjoy about this is like every time there's one of these like you're setting the scene for a conspiracy theory and there's always a sentence right at the start where you could just stop so he says this is intriguing it's probably nothing but It's like, cool, wrap it up.
Just put a pin in it there.
It's fine.
He says, Julie Bishop is a retiring MP but is certainly not leaving quietly.
And he links to an article in which she is talking about how it was good that the government ran a budget surplus.
She was celebrating.
She wore a very expensive dress.
To the thing.
There's a quote from the article that says, the $2,541 all-or-dress by Rachel Gilbert is described on the designer's website as, quote, perfect for a special occasion.
And if the budget doesn't qualify as that, then we'll pack up our red shoes and go home.
Oh, God, she does have red shoes!
Well, she didn't even say red shoes!
It's just in the article.
Burn Notice says, the media references almost sound like a message is being sent.
Red shoes.
Special occasion.
Whatever the message... And again... Does it sound like that?
Again, another beautiful bit of hedging here.
Whatever the message is, or isn't...
It is a bit weird.
Could the shadow government be running a secret campaign in full view of everyone?
Are certain profiles being raised far more than others?
Now, they've asked him about this in the Guardian when they've spoken to him and he said, if you want to do your research into the US context, the red shoes are purported to be very much a pedophilia shout-out, he told the Guardian.
Red shoes are pedophilia?
Is this a thing?
I'm just learning about this.
Yeah, in some parts of QAnon world, they believe that red shoes are actually made from human leather and signal that they are part of the secret pedophilia or pedivore club.
Yeah.
Incredible.
Dorothy from Wizard of Oz, pedophile.
Well I've also heard the theory somewhere in here that it's representative of like if you're doing child sacrifices and that sort of thing that the blood splashing on your shoes Means that your shoes cannot get dirty because they're already red.
All makes sense now, I understand.
I know, it's so normal.
So, when the rappers, like, talk about, like, red bottoms, do you think that they're all pedophile murderers too?
Yes.
Is that the deal?
No, that's a reference to baboons.
What?
I don't know, that sounds racist, Julian.
I don't know if I co-sign against that.
I'm talking about the red bottoms that baboon never fucking mind.
So, you know, in other posts he's questioned whether 8chan was taken offline after the Christchurch attacks because it was the only uncensored platform the Q could use.
So I guess you can draw a nice line between that and was Christchurch a false flag intended for the censorship of Q's favoured website.
So he's got long-standing connections between him and the Prime Minister.
His wife has known Scott and Jenny since they were children and is a close friend.
The Guardian has seen multiple photos of the trio together.
Who interacts on Facebook?
Who does that?
and frequently interacts with Jenny Morrison on Facebook.
Oh my God.
Who interacts on Facebook?
Who does that?
It's a weird thing to do.
They just wanna message each other and be like, I'm the color yellow, what color are you?
I'm the color yellow.
I'm out.
I'm the letter Q, which one are you?
He's also got a son.
His son is a QAnon follower as well.
That's right.
A whole family, love it.
There's always a son.
And the two of them.
That's right, Jesse on your mate.
Imagine getting your kids into this.
But they have met with prominent US-based QAnon figures, like deceased US actor Isaac Cappy, a former QAnon proponent who frequently made unsubstantiated accusations of pedophilia against other Hollywood actors, met the pair when he came to Australia last year, Also pictured at the meeting was Eliahi Priest, who has previously spoken at a rally for the True Blue Crew, which is an incredibly right-wing, anti-immigration, basically neo-Nazi group in Australia.
True Blue Crew.
Fantastic.
The True Blue Crew.
Is that like a Blue Man Group?
I hope so.
True blue is like an Australian expression for... Is it being a patriot?
Real Australian.
A real Aussie.
True blue.
True blue crew is just a nice way of saying, we're nationalists.
So that guy who came to the meeting with Burn Spy and his son and Isaac Cappy, Had been recently visited by the Australian Federal Police
after sending concerning emails to government officials Who asked priest if he needed mental health support or
counseling?
He claimed to have passed information on to Scott Morrison via burned spy
I was hanging out with the Prime Minister's best friend at his house in Sydney priest said my god
He said he would pass this information on to the Prime Minister and he did
Wait, oh For are they this stupid?
And it doesn't matter.
There's going to be no repercussions.
They're this stupid and it also doesn't matter.
So the irony of all of this stuff with Burn Spy is that he's deep into QAnon stuff and he's friends with Scott Morrison.
Scott Morrison is a devout evangelical, right?
He's like a prosperity doctrine church dude.
He said a lot of stuff lately about like, ah, we can have more jobs and more rain if everybody just prayed more, which is a great thing to hear from the leader of your country.
Yeah.
I like to know, I like to know that someone's got a plan.
Yeah.
Well then maybe that water boy thing was like a rain dance.
Yeah, maybe, maybe.
Uh, that's what he meant by just more, more water getting about.
But, um, So, Burn Spy has linked Hillsong, where Morrison has prayed publicly for photo ops, to Mind Control, and has praised Scott Morrison for his apology to child abuse survivors, during which the Prime Minister used the term, quote, ritual sexual abuse.
The use of that term was interpreted by QAnon followers as referring to satanic ritual abuse.
So the irony here is that You know, he's deep in all the QAnon stuff, which is, as we all know, about exposing the Pizzagate style, pedophilia, child sex abuse, satanic ritual stuff.
Scott Morrison, who he is apparently great friends with, is a member of the Hillsong Church, which has had its own scandals.
He's from another piece in Overland by a great writer called Jeff Sparrow.
Who said, if you wanted to investigate child abuse in the context of Australian politics, you might start, not with Julie Bishop's shoes, but with Brian Houston, a man who, like Burns by himself, enjoys a close friendship with Prime Minister Scott Morrison.
Houston, the founder of the Hillsong Church, was formally censured by the Royal Commission into the Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse for not reporting allegations of child abuse against his own father, the founder of the church.
According to the New Daily, Brian Houston remains under investigation by the New South Wales Police for his handling of the matter.
In his maiden speech in Parliament, Scott Morrison paid tribute to Houston as his personal mentor.
And last month, he tried to bring him to the White House to meet Donald Trump.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But this is a Donnie Brasco thing.
You go undercover, before you know it you're doing the same exact crimes as the people you're fighting, Also, I have to say that at this point, knowing what I know about these two individuals, there's no way they don't talk about QAnon together.
I'm willing to bet that it's the only thing they talk about.
Just like you and me.
Yeah.
He's an evangelical.
Burn Spy is a QAnon guy.
I mean, these two things go together like peanut butter and jelly, you know?
Yeah.
I don't know if you guys eat that over there, but it's a delicious snack.
Pro tip.
We call it jam.
Thank you.
Pro tip.
I don't know if you guys have these either, but you can buy pre-made.
Do not!
Pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a box.
They're frozen.
They're called Uncrustables.
Don't listen to him.
They're so good.
God fucking damn it!
I knew it.
Thank you, Lucy.
Do you also just warm them up under your thighs a little bit?
That's what I do when I get them because they're frozen right out of the thing and I can't wait to get the jellies into my mouth so I have to like kind of sit on them like I'm a hen.
Lucy, Lucy, we've been working on this with Jake for so long you just undid all of the progress.
I'm so sorry.
Somebody who likes Uncrustables.
So yeah, besides weird uncrustable fetishes.
Like we're saying here, this to me is kind of the hallmark of a lot of QAnon stuff, which is when you can see all of these things that are happening in plain sight, like the Jeffrey Epstein stuff.
You know, all these things that are, like, real and documented, happening in plain sight, yet no one is held accountable for.
And, you know, the QAnon conspiracy theorists will look at people like Donald Trump, who was friends with Jeffrey Epstein, hung out with him a bunch, and they say, But he's actually working behind the scenes to expose this much larger conspiracy.
Just incredible.
As opposed to the one that we're looking at right here, like Scott Morrison, considering the founder of this church, his mentor, which has in turn been implicated by a lot of people as being essentially a cult which also covers up child sexual abuse within its own structures.
But that's fine.
Just ignore that part and think more about the colour of people's shoes.
That's what you should really be asking.
For example, here's some of the stuff that we're really focused on here.
Oh, so when John Podesta came to Australia, Burn Notice says... Burn Notice.
Burn Notice.
I can't stop.
I love it.
Looking at the little picture of him, he says, Podesta conveniently finds himself in Australia on the full moon, which is tonight.
His movements are always deliberate.
Death has often followed your travels, but no more will you thrive, at John Podesta.
What?
Are they Wiccans now?
Are they Pagans?
What are they talking about?
So this is when one of those super moons was happening, you know?
Yeah.
He draws his power from the moon.
Yep.
This was the tenth tweet in this thread.
Vainly, John declares Trump's illegitimate leadership on a supermoon.
However, we declare the true authority of Trump as duly elected by the people of the US.
The entire world declares it.
Sure.
The moon phase does not detract or enhance the authority of our leaders.
Then he quote tweets John Podesta, who said, Ran along the Yarra River in Melbourne, Australia.
Felt good to breathe the fresh air.
Pedophile!
Pedophile!
He quote tweets this tweet saying, I took a run along the river and the fresh air was nice.
He quite tweets this and says, John Podesta has been attempting magic.
Very, very obvious connection to me.
Yeah, the magic of not getting winded is like a 60 year old running on the beach, maybe.
Yep.
John Podesta has been attempting magic.
He has been exposed by many people over many years.
Australia's air will not be tainted by your latest silly spell.
We counted it!
Your templars are obliterated and you are at your end.
Oh, get therapy, my dude.
Go to therapy.
Okay, but we breathe oxygen and we exhale carbon dioxide, and so it's killing the trees.
So in a way, he is pulling a magic trick, which is global warming.
Think about it.
It's so obvious when you put it like that.
So I will wrap this up by saying the good thing is that Burn Notice, Burn Spy 34, he's really setting up this to be a multi-generational affair with his son, who is on Twitter as Jesse James, with the Fucking dammit.
Jesse James.
It's just LARP after LARP.
His address on Twitter is Jesse underscore Onya underscore M8.
So for the Australians, they'll recognize that as Onya, mate.
Good Onya.
Good on ya.
So here's a tweet that sums up the vibe of Jesse James, Burn Spy's son.
Donald Trump's first term summed up.
This is not just another four-year election.
This is a masterfully coordinated, slow but consistent, pantsing of the Deep State.
The whole classroom can see the Deep State's little dick.
He says that the Deep State's pants are now around their ankles.
Now it's time for a spanking.
The Justice Phase!
What?
That's what's so weird about all this shit, is like, they believe, they honestly believe that these people are dissecting and eating children, you know, like drinking the blood out of their, you know, adrenal glands or whatever.
But like, when they insult them, they're like, heh, pants around your ankles now.
Like, it seems like kind of an innocent sort of threat, you know, compared to what they accuse these people of doing.
Oh my God.
You are being smacked upon your bottom.
Like a naughty child.
God damn it, man.
Oh dear.
So that's the Prime Minister's best friend.
Wow.
That is wonderful.
Is there a theory that Morrison is also doing like the Deep State 4D chess kind of stuff?
He's not smart enough for that, I don't think.
No.
He went for that state dinner with Trump a little while ago, probably because he was one of the only world leaders they could find to show up and say, he's doing a great job and I love him and he's big and strong.
So during that, there was a bit of Trump sort of turning to him and saying, China, they're terrible, right?
And he went, oh, fuck.
And had to say, globalism's bad.
Yes, our major trade partner!
I'm sure there are some people who are looking at Morrison and his, like I was saying, his isolationism, his nationalism, his anti-globalist stuff, and his die-hard support of Trump and saying, ah, that makes him an ally to the movement.
Hmm, yeah.
Well, yeah, everyone's secretly intelligent.
I do like that Lucy's like, no, he's too dumb for that.
Whereas Trump, definitely smart enough to be believable as a 4D chess player defeating the two states.
Oh boy.
Well that is just wonderful stuff.
Isn't it great how the deeper you dig into anything QAnon related, just the stupider you get?
Oh yeah.
Absolutely.
I suppose it's the time for us as Americans to say, you're welcome.
You know?
This is our gift to you.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you so much. May I have another sir?
Pine Gap is a compound near the town of Alice Springs in the Northern Territory of Australia, which is confusing
because it's in the middle of Australia, but it's also a place where you can find a lot of interesting stuff.
But anyways, it's widely considered Australia's answer to Area 51.
So here are some Google reviews of it.
Alex Pimania says, he raised it five stars, and he says, the military personnel were very hospitable and our holding
cell was quite comfortable.
Great place for a family outing.
Marcos says, location where they hide extraterrestrial technology.
But he only gave it three stars.
Three stars.
He's not very excited about it.
Not impressed.
Black Dawn says, even better than find my iPhone.
Call them up if you lose your phone.
The great staff were more than happy to track it down for me.
Can't thank them enough.
Friendly, happy staff were able to track my iPhone down in no time.
FYI, phone was under couch.
Five stars.
Phone was under couch.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
What is this guy's name?
Fneag?
Fneag rates it one star and says, America, piss off home.
CIA are spying on people here.
America, rack off!
Jacob Andreas says, five stars, absolutely excellent service.
Staff were polite enough to only shoot me in one hand and my left kneecap.
Will definitely be coming back when my deportation is over.
Sam writes, these guys impounded my UFO after we got caught doing burnouts in Kmart car park.
Two stars.
Philip gives it just four stars and says, didn't go there.
But four stars is still pretty solid.
Yeah, it's still a fine review.
Yeah, you can't give it a bad grade if it's not, if you're not even being there.
Yeah.
So okay, so after consulting these useful reviews, I opted to visit reputable outlets like Rumour Mill News, nexusilluminati.blogspot.com, 2012unlimited.net, abovetopsecret.com, and angelfire.com slash oz slash cv.
And there I found a very brave journalist hellbent on exposing a variety of mysterious shit occurring at Pine Gap.
Tight.
One of them claimed that, quote, Pine Gap is simultaneously operational
in the third, fourth, and fifth dimensions.
Tight.
And that people, quote, leave for Mars military service from a time portal in Australia.
Tight.
Another researcher claimed that, quote, there are supposed to be greys, reptiloids, and dracos
on lower levels of Pine Gap.
Uh, what?
One of my favorite lines of inquiry was the idea that the mountains around Pine Gap are actually holograms.
designed to protect the base, I guess.
Just like Wakanda.
Yes.
It's pretty easy to do.
Exactly.
One of the finest Pine Gap researchers goes by Christy Verissimo of the aforementioned Angelfire site.
She's written a trilogy of 600-page books entitled Universal Seduction, and the second volume compiles some fascinating material on Pine Gap.
So, Andrew, if you could do the honors.
Pine Gap locals have seen 30 foot wide white discs being unloaded from a large US cargo plane at the airport with the USAF emblem on them.
Many are seen flying at night.
Much furniture has been delivered.
Very sinister.
Very sinister.
An enormous amount of food is apparently stocked in warehouses of what could be a multi-leveled underground city.
Once again, just what could be.
According to my imagination.
Dr. Jean-Francois Gill writes that shares put on the market at the same time will cause a world stock market crash.
Cash will be worthless and the risks of a global planned confrontation will be high.
Underground bases will serve as a place of safety for politicians and international financiers.
Plastic cards will be necessary.
Right?
And the setting up of a world government ensuring, scare quotes, peace.
Many will be taken to concentration camps.
Our new masters have the alien support that they have made alliances with.
William Cooper says all the CIA directors and secretaries of state were all members of the Council on Foreign Relations And also the MJ-12 which includes Kissinger.
They rule the US.
The secret government kill America's children for the alien projects according to their agreement with alien nations to rule the world jointly.
They can make US currency worthless at any time and bring everyone under control with their global credit card.
We can control you at any time, you just, you have to carry this card around with you.
Could you just hang on to it?
If you don't hang on to it, we can't do the mind control thing.
But there's great interest rates, so you should keep it in your wallet.
Just make sure, if you leave it at home, you have to go back and get it.
It's gonna cause all kinds of problems.
In 1996, witnesses saw a triangular craft descend at an area west of Pine Gap and many UFOs have been seen coming and going regularly from camouflaged entrances at Pine Gap.
Scientists and various aliens, mostly reptilians claiming to have once originated from Earth with DNA of a two-legged Earth sauroid.
That's a sound.
Like a lizard man.
So various aliens that the US government has made alliances with work together underground there in the underground facility I have imagined.
That sounds nice.
That sounds pleasant.
Yeah.
Sounds very Star Trek, you know?
Genetic research in the form of human-alien hybridization and anti-gravity experimentation is done at Pine Gap and other underground U.S.
bases.
So that's Verissimo.
I kept digging a little bit and found out that multiple UFO incidents had actually occurred around Pine Gap.
This is all fact.
In 1973, for example, a government cartographer saw vertical shafts of light emanating from the base.
He drove closer and spotted what looked like a cigar-shaped blimp.
It turned out to be a flying saucer.
He watched it produce multicolored beams of light in a variety of patterns before it, quote, made some rapid oscillations, lit up like a neon sign, and ascended vertically at very high speed, disappearing in a few seconds.
Their cartographer reported the incident to his superior officer in Alice Springs.
This resulted in what he later described as a grilling by some very officious people who warned him to keep silent about his experiment, otherwise he would be in for some very real trouble.
He was also told that he had not seen anything and to remember that.
They're the men in black!
Amazing!
Except they don't have that little thing.
That little... I've been neuralized.
The de-neuralizer, yeah.
Yeah, they just have to tell you, listen, you didn't see shit.
Yeah, what you saw here was actually swamp gas rising up.
Yeah, they have the mob boss technology of, like, you didn't see anything.
But that's not all.
In 1975, quote, the occupants of a passenger plane, which was passing some 18 miles to the east of the base, observed a large white object similar in size to one of the white radomes suddenly leapt into the air and disappeared rapidly towards the northwest.
As everyone on the plane was interested in seeing what Pine Gap looked like, most of the passengers and crew witnessed the event.
When the pilots reported the incident, everyone on the plane was interviewed and told not to talk about it.
Again, they really trust that people are very good at just shutting up if you ask them too nicely.
Very thorough.
Yeah.
This kind of shit continued into the 80s.
A camouflaged door case occurred in 1980 when two members of the Northern Territory Police who were taking part in a search for a missing Alice Springs child watched as three, uh, quote, bathtub-shaped objects flew slowly over the base and then one by one disappeared into an oblong black hole in a hillside.
This also occurred during the early hours of the morning, and as the two police officers had arranged to meet other members of the search party, they left without seeing the door close.
Yeah.
Yeah, in 1984, five people saw a whole ton of UFO activities.
The leader of this group was a technical expert with a Western Australian government department
who had received persistent reports from colleagues of intensive UFO activity around Alice Springs
and Pine Gap.
He was told that between certain dates, something big was going to happen.
Oh, well in that case... The information was so intriguing that he decided to mount a clandestine expedition to central Australia and to approach Pine Gap from the west through the Gibson Desert and Macdonald Ranges.
So on the third day of the expedition, the gang washed as the base's coverall-clad denizens generated multiple light beams, and UFOs hovered above the base in a variety of formations.
The unknown craft appeared to land and take off from the base, and clouds formed and dissipated as beams activated and deactivated, and then, quote, The group spent the next few days observing the base, day and night.
And apart from helicopters and other small aircraft, they observed at least seven other UFOs in the area.
One of the witnesses later described the experience as making his skin crawl every time he thought about it.
After leaving the area, they took a circuitous route around the base and then drove down the main highway to Alice Springs.
As it looked like they had traveled from Darwin, no one took any notice of them.
After arranging the rail transport of the two four-wheel drives back to Perth, they left by plane the next day.
They all agreed that the incident had changed their view of all things in general, but had in some way disgusted them, as they now knew their government had lied to them from the start and had done so in cooperation with a friend and ally.
Does all this mean that there has been working cooperation between extraterrestrials and Earth-bound governments for a long period of time?
The answer is a simple yes.
I like this.
Usually like conspiracy theorists, they say like, hmm, that's for you to decide.
But this guy's like, no, no, they're aliens and they're working with governments.
That's the answer.
Yeah.
But if you're waiting for proof, I would not hold my breath because this is what they say at the end of this.
It should be mentioned that the whole episode was recorded on videotape and 35mm still film.
However, as this was virtually a case of a government department spying on a foreign friend, nothing has been released and it almost certainly never will.
Well, there you have it.
Whoops.
Almost got it, though.
Yeah, a lot of these sightings are detailed in a 1996 report called Fortress Australia Hidden Agenda.
Tight.
That's cool as shit.
It's very, very cool.
I want to see that.
I want to see Mel Gibson in that movie.
But yeah, this is what they had to say about it.
The report was given to the publisher of R.M.N.
News the year it was written, 1996.
The source who hand-delivered it would not state who the author was.
RMN News does not know if this has been published elsewhere.
So all of this was highly mysterious and clearly 100% true to Jake.
Yes.
But I'm Julian, not Jake, so armed with this knowledge I decided to return to decently sourced journalistic research from the lamestream media and its hanger-ons.
What did they have to say about the mysterious Pine Gap facilities?
Well, it turns out it is definitely not good, folks.
In 1966, the United States signed a treaty with Australia calling for the creation of a base in Pine Gap, Australia, which they dubbed the Joint Defense Space Research Facility.
400 American families moved to central Australia to take part.
In reality, the compound's purpose was to receive information from American spy satellites and gather intelligence about the Soviet missile program.
The whole thing was run by the CIA.
The establishment of Pine Gap was just one small part of a broader Australian collaboration with the Americans to further their geopolitical designs.
During the U.S.
invasion of Vietnam, for example, Australia provided what they call black teams, which are secret units run by the CIA, most likely to help replant flower beds disturbed by Agent Orange.
Nah, they're probably killing people.
WikiLeaks published diplomatic cables in 2013 revealing that in the 70s, top figures in both of the main Australian parties served as informants for the Americans.
And I don't know if you guys are familiar with this, this beautiful Prime Minister, is it Gao Whitlam?
Is that how you say him?
That's Goff.
Goff.
Really?
Goff.
Am I wrong, Andrew?
No, no.
It's Goff Whitlam.
Damn.
Okay.
Damn.
Did not expect that.
Well, in 1972, he was elected Prime Minister.
Goff was elected Prime Minister, and he was less excited to play ball with the Yanks.
Whitlam resisted the vetting of his staff by a security organization named ASIO, which had and still has ties to the American and English intelligence apparati.
What's more, Whitlam's ministers publicly condemned the U.S.
bombing of Vietnam as, quote, corrupt and barbaric.
A CIA station officer in Saigon explained the results of these statements quote we were told the Australians might
as well be regarded as North Vietnamese collaborators
It's a really good friend talk about fair weather So, okay so that happens
Whitlam also started bothering the U.S.
about Pine Gap, demanding to know why the CIA was allowed to secretly run a base on Australian soil, which seems to make sense.
A 2014 Guardian article by John Pilger details what happened next.
A CIA officer called Victor Marchetti told Pilger that the, quote, threat to close Pine Gap caused apoplexy in the White House.
A kind of Chile coup was set in motion.
It was revealed by a CIA contractor that the intelligence agency was using Sir John Kerr, then Governor General of Australia, as an asset to infiltrate the Australian political and trade union elite.
The CIA also worked with MI6 to bug cabinet meetings and decode secret messages coming into the Foreign Affairs Office.
Marshall Green was sent to Australia as the American ambassador. This did not portend well for the Aussies.
Green had recently helped Suharto carry out a coup in Indonesia that kicked off an anti-communist purge
resulting in the genocide of between five hundred thousand and a million Indonesians.
Holy shit.
Meanwhile, William Colbert- Nobody's perfect.
Poe buddy's nerfic!
Nerf it!
Yeah.
Meanwhile, William Colby, then CIA Director, started openly referring to the situation as the Whitlam Problem.
On November 11, 1975, Whitlam was shown a top-secret message sent by Theodore Shackley, then head of the CIA's East Asia Division.
Shackley's resume was top-notch.
He had helped kill Chile's democratically elected leader, Salvador Allende, and crown Augusto Pinochet, a genocidal fascist, in 1973.
So they had the whole team on him, on Whitlam.
Shackley's message stated that Whitlam was considered a, quote, security risk in the country that he was ruling as a PM that he had been elected to.
He was a risk to their security.
The same day, our friendly CIA asset and Governor General of Australia John Kerr was brought into the headquarters of the Defense Signal Directorate, which is the Australian NSA for the American listeners, and briefed on this, quote, security crisis.
The next day, Whitlam was planning to speak to Parliament about the secret CIA presence in Australia, including the Pine Gap facility, but his speech was not meant to be.
So, is this something that you guys just know about over there?
I did not know about this.
A fucking soft coup!
quote, vice regal reserve powers. The brave CIA and MI6 agents slept soundly once more. So is this something that
you guys just know about over there?
I did not know about this.
A fucking soft coup. A soft coup.
It's not even that soft.
I mean.
Well, they didn't fucking.
It's softer than what happened to Allende.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, and like what happened to 500.
It's not like they killed 500,000 Australians.
But still, the CIA was like, yeah, we just don't like the prime minister.
Bye.
Get him out of there.
Go on.
Just incredible.
I actually couldn't believe that I didn't know more about this because it's.
Well, I mean, well, I mean, they're good at what they do.
That's why even Australians haven't even heard about it.
So, props CIA.
Yeah.
I know, that's the notorious dismissal.
I didn't know it had anything to do with the CIA.
Sure did.
Wow, incredible.
And their secret alien base, don't forget.
Well yeah, if they were working with the aliens, you gotta wonder...
How many sauroids were then put into government?
Did they carry out a purge of humans?
So the public did not rest easily after that, though.
In 1985, Australian Defense Minister Kim Beazley was forced to appear on Channel 9 to, quote, say emphatically that the facilities do not spy on Australia, reassuring the worried public that the compound was not, in fact, intercepting domestic communications.
The function of Pine Gap, he explained, was to verify arms control agreements and provide adequate early warning of missile launches.
It's to spy on other people, not you guys.
I know, I love that.
It's about the Russians and the Chinese that none of us like.
Les Ball, a defense expert, called the minister's claims silly at the time.
Ball claimed that there existed two secret rooms inside Pine Gap that Australians weren't allowed to access.
An organization called Privacy International later sued the U.S.
State Department and obtained a memo proving that there was at the very least one such room, dubbed the, quote, National Communication and Cipher Room, which they claimed had once been visited by only a single Australian, then-shadow Prime Minister Bill Hayden.
So can you explain to us, to American listeners, what it means to have a shadow government?
Because it just sounds really creepy and QAnon, I think, to most Americans.
Yeah, so a shadow government is the opposition party, basically, in a two-party system.
So what generally happens is, obviously we do have other political parties, but for the
last however many decades, last hundred years or so, it's just gone back and forth between
variations and reformed versions of the Australian Liberal Party, which confusingly for American
listeners is the Conservative Party, and the Australian Labour Party.
So when one of them gets enough seats to form government, then the leader will form a cabinet
and the cabinet is all of the people who are in charge of the major portfolios, like defence
and education and all that sort of stuff.
So the Opposition Party will form their own shadow cabinet, which is that they appoint
people to those same roles, even though they're not actually in government.
They appoint someone to be for example the shadow education minister and it's their job to respond to the things that the other person says and say well if we were in government we would be doing this with this thing instead.
It is not, unfortunately, a cool, shadowy, X-Files smoking man type situation.
But do they wear cloaks or what?
Can they?
Everybody on one side of Parliament is wearing the trench coat and fedora down over their eyes.
Just plumes of smoke coming up from that side.
Yep.
Yeah, so the State Department denied the existence of the second room, which Ball claimed was used to, quote, do the final analysis of all incoming intelligence.
Things quieted down after that, and people resumed doing coke and watching television.
I believe you mean drinking coke, right?
No, doing cocaine.
It was the 80s, man!
All right.
Cocaine, it's a drug!
All the listeners should do it!
In 2013, though, Edward Snowden revealed the full extent of the operations at the high-security compound codenamed Rainfall, which had since been dubbed the Joint Defense Facility Pine Gap.
The documents detailed a wide-ranging surveillance and spying operation, but that wasn't all.
The compound also provided real-time support for the American global military operations in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Syria, plus data support for CIA drone operations in Yemen, Somalia, and Pakistan, among others.
It helped pinpoint airstrikes and target nuclear weapons, which looking into this I realized that they just do by phone.
So if they get the data that a SIM card is supposedly attached to some guy, they will just fucking nuke that where that phone is.
They will nuke that SIM card and that's how you get like a whole fucking wedding Destroyed.
Jesus Christ.
Or something like that.
Oh, whoop, wrong SIM card.
So pretty fun stuff.
But they can help you find your phone if you leave it under the couch.
That's why I love that review because it was so good comedy, you know?
Subtle.
So who can say if it's good or bad, you know?
Exactly.
Listen, what if you hate your couch and you want it nuked from orbit along with your entire family?
Yeah, during a wedding.
Oh man.
So yeah, the Americans and Australians claim that the base was being used to, quote, "...support the national security of both the U.S.
and Australia.
The facility contributes to verifying arms control and disarmament agreements and monitoring military developments."
Which, let's be honest, sounds a lot more chill than drone bombing a whole Yemeni wedding.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can understand why they would rename that part.
Emily Howey of the Australian Human Rights Law Center has stated that, quote, Australia may be involved in potential war crimes through the facility at Pine Gap.
Both the United States and Australia refuse to disclose the specific operations being run out of the compound.
But hey, Pine Gap looks really cool.
It's got like 38 radar dishes concealed under these white spheres known as radomes.
And I think we can all agree that the compound has enough drip to cover up hundreds, if not thousands, of civilian casualties.
If you're interested in a limited hangout, you can check out Netflix Australia's TV show, Pine Gap.
Here is the description.
A group of Australian and American analysts work together to keep one of the world's most important joint intelligence facilities, Pine Gap, secure and stable.
Which, yeah, leads me to just have to say that it's amazing when art critiques power in that way.
Have you guys watched this, by the way?
No, that sounds awful.
It sounds absolutely terrible.
I have not watched it, no.
That shit's wild.
I don't need to see these guys scrolling through logs of all the porno I'm looking at.
Yeah.
Want to watch a show about that?
Night Max Rockitansky.
My name is Jake.
My world is memes and tweets.
Why are we fighting these people?
Morons, each believing their stupid gods will save them.
Meanwhile, the world grinds itself into dust.
Once I was a podcast host, a microphone warrior searching for a righteous cause.
Mankind has gone rogue, terrorizing itself.
Thermonuclear skirmish.
North Korea pressed the button and it all went to hell.
The continents have become one.
Pangea rises again.
No borders.
No nations.
Only loyalty to those who keep them from death.
I roam the wasteland, searching for truth.
Tortured by those who perished in the flames.
They will never leave me be.
They whisper in my head.
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, rock a dance, shake, rock a dance, shake, rock a dance, shake,
rock a dance, shake, shake, shake, rock a dance, shake, Why do they call to me day and night?
I have nothing left to give.
My mind is poisoned.
Rotten.
Hey Jake, you okay?
Jake snapped too.
Travis had his hand on his shoulder, in a fatherly sort of way.
Oh, yeah, I'm okay.
What's up?
Travis wiped the tiny grains of sand from his bushy eyebrows.
Nothing, you were just staring out into the distance, muttering to yourself.
Jake leaned forward in his seat, trying to pretend like he wasn't just listening to the voices in his head.
I'm fine.
He called over his shoulder out the back of the V8 Interceptor.
Julian!
How does she look?
A deformed, blistering creature, its skin peeling away under the harsh sun, shouted from the rear of the vehicle, A fine vessel indeed, Wastelander!
She's ready to devour the dunes as the Wastelander sees fit!
Jake squinted.
The harsh sunlight poured in through the front windshield.
He slammed the V8 Interceptor into gear and screamed off into the vast wasteland.
And so, we drive, chasing the sun, looking for gas.
Anything that can power my weigh-in 671 supercharger.
The only thing that protects us from the plagues in the wasteland.
Jake!
Slow down!
Jake snapped to and slammed on the brakes, nearly missing a man and a woman who dove out of the path of the vehicle.
The woman shouted at them, clearly upset at almost being run over.
What the hell are you idiots doing?
The man with her also spoke, but seemed more intrigued than perturbed.
Oh, they got one of the original Interceptors.
Very cool.
Oh my god, this is amazing.
The creature clinged to the back of the car, called out to the two nomads.
Pardon our dust, travelers.
Was hard to see, what with the sun so bright.
Jake stepped out of the car and raised a sawed-off shotgun at the pair.
We don't want any trouble.
Just passing through.
The man and the woman looked at each other incredulously.
How could we possibly cause any trouble?
I'm wearing a torn blanket for a shirt.
And I'm nearly dead from dehydration.
The creature's eyes widened and turned towards Jake and Travis.
Who are these creatures that speak such a twisted tongue?
Not from this part of the wasteland, me presumes?
Yeah, we're from Australia.
I thought that was pretty obvious.
Yeah, after the blast when the Cottoners pushed themselves back together, we started walking, heard of a city near the Congo that has fresh water and is safe from both the Proud Boys and the Resistance.
Jake looked at them for a minute, trying to decide if they were who they said they were.
There was plenty of room in the car.
Perhaps they would be stronger in larger numbers.
No, he thought.
Can't trust anyone.
For all he knew, they could belong to either gang that plagued the wasteland, trying to steal his precious vehicle.
Travis calmly spoke.
We're headed there, too.
He reached his hand out.
I'm Travis.
Travis View.
Andrew looks surprised.
Oh, holy shit!
Yeah, what's up, man?
We know you guys.
I'm Andrew.
This is Lucy.
We do Buena Vista.
Travis smiled warmly.
Oh really?
Man, I'm sorry we never got to do that crossover episode we had discussed.
What with the nuclear war and all.
Then, the unmistakable sound of roaring engines echoed in the distance.
The mood shifted.
Jake's eyes darted across the dunes like a raving lunatic.
The creature, eyes glued to a pair of broken binoculars, was standing on the rear hood of the car.
Proud boys!
Everyone scrambled in panic, but it was too late.
Large, tricked-out pickup trucks flew over the dunes.
There must have been five, maybe six of them.
The trucks quickly circled the interceptor, trapping Travis, Jake, Lucy, Andrew, and the creature.
The sounds of car doors slamming as a handful of Proud Boys clamber down from the raised
They wore old football shoulder pads and torn capes made from burned flags.
Some of them held homemade cleavers and axes.
He has the Interceptor!
They smacked their lips and hummed with excitement, ready to kill without hesitation.
One of them eyed Lucy.
No one harm the girl!
She's mine!
Lucy straightened up and clenched her fist.
In your dreams, toad.
The proud boys rushed them.
Instinct took over.
Andrew quickly reached down and grabbed a rock off the ground and hurled it at one of
the men.
It struck him square in the nose and with a satisfying crunch, blood sprayed all over
the hot sand.
Travis swiftly unsheathed a bully knife from his boot as one of the proud boys rushed him.
He raised the knife just in time to block the swing of a crude axe.
Its handle got stuck in the sharp blade of the knife.
With a heavy grunt, Travis dislodged the knife and jammed it straight into the man's throat.
A few feet away, Jake was siphoning well-placed shotgun blasts into the bellies of the proud
boys who came at him.
With each blast, the men went flying backwards before they hit the sand, writhing in pain.
The sound of steel on steel pulled the group's attention to a small dune a couple of yards away.
Lucy was battling with a thug who had rushed her.
She was using the brass bracelets on her wrist to deflect each swing of the double-sided blade he swung at her over and over again.
The whole group watched, rapped, as Lucy finally got the thug off balance, grabbed the end of his weapon, and with one hand, effortlessly guided it straight into his groin.
The man howled, dropping to his knees.
With one quick swipe of the blade, his head and body separated, both falling to the sand with a satisfying thud.
I've gotten blood on my blanket.
Jake wiped the sweat from his brow, cocked open the shotgun, and loaded two more shells in.
He then smiled faintly at the two Australians standing amongst a pile of blood and bodies.
They can come with us.
Lucy cocked her head to the side.
Are you trying to do an Australian accent?
Me?
No.
Really?
Sounds like you're a baby trying to do one.
This is how I talk.
Since the Bless.
Is that a problem?
Nah, no worries, mate.
We're just curious because, you know, we are actually Australian and we can kind of tell when someone's faking it.
Do you want to come with us or not?
The V8 Interceptor screamed across the dunes with Jake at the wheel, Travis riding shotgun, Lucy and Andrew in the back, and the creature... And the creature, clinging onto the back windshield, careened through the gorgeous mountain ranges, dazzling electrical storms, and relics of a civilization lost.
Wait a minute.
Slow down.
I think I see something.
Jake brought the car to a crawl.
Sure enough, about a hundred yards in front of them, the group could make out a splash of royal blue against the browns and tans of the wasteland.
Why have we stopped, Wastelander?
This territory belongs to the Resistance.
We should best keep going.
Travis leaned forward, squinting his eyes.
I think that's...
It's a peacock!
Sure enough, the magnificent bird came closer into view as Jake inched the car forward.
The whole group looked on in amazement.
If there's a bird here, there must be water close by.
An oasis!
Everyone cheered.
It had been days without fresh water.
Even Jake managed to crack a dry grin.
An SUV came barreling out of nowhere, slamming into the innocent bird and killing it instantly.
Everyone gasped.
The SUV came to a screeching halt.
A man with the body of a 70-year-old and the face of a small boy stumbled out of the car wearing a dumpy-looking suit.
He walked around to the front of the vehicle and studied the mangled body of the peacock in his front fender.
He then noticed the Interceptor and its inhabitants looking at him with wild expressions of disbelief on their faces.
He smiled sheepishly.
Car 1, Peacock 0.
Slam!
A giant apocalyptic looking bus covered in iron cages and barbed wire came out of nowhere, slamming into the Australian senator, killing him instantly.
The bus screeched to a halt.
The bus screeched to a halt.
On the side in faded, chipped letters was written, Biden for President.
The creature clinging to the back of the Interceptor crouched down low and furrowed his brow.
Resistance?
We's in real trouble now.
The doors to the bus swung open and a group of multicolored-haired people in their thirties hopped out.
Jake ripped his shotgun a little bit tighter.
There were too many of them.
They wouldn't be able to kill them all.
They'd be able to kill some, though.
Jake cocked his rifle, but a gentle hand pushed the barrel down back towards the sand.
Travis quickly shook his head silently at Jake.
Let's see what they have to say.
A man in his forties, balding, wearing a leather vest and holding a club with nails protruding out of it, stepped forward.
I regret to inform you that you are hashtag trespassing.
This land is protected by the resistance.
Jake's eyes scanned the rest of the thugs.
They had circled around them, each holding crude melee weapons.
Apologies, Lord Dworkin.
We were nearly passing through.
If you would let us be on our way, we would forever be in your debt.
Lord Dworkin cracked his knuckles with a satisfying pop.
I'm afraid that won't be possible.
You see, my hashtag resistance boys suffered heavy losses in a recent skirmish with the Proud Boys.
We're looking to fatten our ranks.
He then flashed a disgusting look in Lucy's direction.
Plus, the man-god Immortan Kyle Griffin has been searching the wasteland for a queen to sit by his side and repopulate Pangea so that the Resistance may rule forever.
Mmm, absolutely not.
Without warning, with the flick of her wrist, Lucy flung one of her brass bracelets off her arm.
It spun through the air with surprising speed and lodged itself directly into Lord Dworkin's neck.
Blood spurted out and he dropped to the ground.
Everyone stood there for a second, not sure what to do.
Jake cocked his shotgun.
Raaah!
Blare, blare, blare!
Jake began to unleash a barrage of shells from the hip, taking out two of the thugs right away.
The scene descended into chaos.
Heads were getting slammed into doors.
Stomachs were punctured, faces were bruised and bloody.
But there were too many.
The resistance descended on our heroes like a swarm of vultures, forcing them to the ground,
binding their wrists with coarse chains and shoving dark bags over each of their heads.
Blackness.
you When the bags were finally removed, our heroes found themselves in a dark, cold dungeon that had been burrowed deep into the rock.
Droplets of water dripped from the ceiling, forming murky puddles on the cavern's floor.
Wild, fiendish shouts echoed from an unknown place beyond the dungeon.
Andrew turned to Lucy.
Honestly, would it have been that bad to be the Queen of the Resistance?
Yes, absolutely it would have.
All I'm saying is it might have been better than wandering the wasteland with these idiots.
He gestured to Jake, Travis, and the creature.
All held to the wall by shackles.
No offense.
None taken.
Uh, we got any idea what they'll do to us?
A voice popped up from the dark corner of the dungeon.
First, they torture you.
To weaken your spirit.
Then they sit you down at gunpoint.
And force you to read Immortan Kyle's tweets from November of 2016 to right before the blast.
Even the creature seems horrified by this.
No!
It's unthinkable!
And God forbid you've ever said anything... racist.
I haven't.
Me neither.
Yeah, same.
Racists we are not!
Jake is... Jake is silent.
The man leaned forward into the light, exposing his face for the first time.
Cause if you have, they'll do this!
On his chest, crudely carved words have been etched into the man's flesh.
They read, blocked and reported.
Jake craned his head a little bit.
Now in the light, the man looked surprisingly familiar.
An excited grin crept across Jake's face.
Mel Gibson?
The man slowly nodded his head.
I was in Costa Rica when the third war had hit.
I was surrounded by death and destruction.
How did you survive?
Mel shrugged his shoulders.
Mate, I'd been drinking.
I guess my body was so loose I survived the blast.
Didn't even really feel anything, if I'm being honest.
Jake looked completely starstruck.
The rest of the group seemed very uninterested.
Disgusted, even.
Well, I'm just... Man, I'm gonna come right out and say it.
I'm a huge fan.
Jake, come on.
After everything you said about your people... I mean, I actually really don't care at all, Travis.
Conspiracy theories, signs, Forever Young... These are amazing performances.
Mel smiled warmly.
Thanks, mate.
You know, honestly, if my time has come, at least I'm hanging out with Mel fucking Gibson.
Holy shit, what an honor.
There was a slight jingle of chains unlocking and falling to the ground.
Everyone looked towards the sound.
The creature had chewed through his shackles and was now standing free, gently rubbing the flaky skin peeling off his wrists.
Time come, yours has not!
To everyone's surprise and amazement, the creature darted around the dungeon, freeing everyone from their shackles.
Everyone except for Mel Gibson.
Jake looked concerned.
Come on man, you got a female too!
The creature looked unsure, searching for approval from the rest of the group.
Travis spoke up.
I don't think so, Jake.
I mean, would it really be in your best interest?
The man is on record many, many times hating Jews.
Not to mention expressing extremely violent rhetoric towards women and also physically abusing them.
Come on, mate.
I deserved it.
I'm a good guy, I swear.
The things I said about Jews, they were true.
Don't leave me to rot here in this God-forsaken dungeon surrounded by blue-haired lemmings.
Jake pleaded with the group.
Come on guys, I believe him.
Also, who better to help us survive in this apocalyptic wasteland than the guy who's made three movies about it?
Come on, please?
Yeah man, even us Aussies won't touch him, mate.
He's like the most famous one we've got, I think.
Yeah, hard pass.
What women want?
Absolute trash.
And I thought he really phoned it in for Daddy's Home 2.
Ruin the franchise.
Okay, okay, look, I understand what you're saying about Daddy's Home 2 for sure, even though Will Ferrell was great in it.
Look, Mel will be my responsibility, okay?
If he so much as says or does anything fucked up, I'll be the one to kill him.
Fair?
Everyone, including Mel Gibson, nodded their heads.
Alright, it's settled then.
Julian, cut him loose.
The creature hobbled over to where Mel was sitting and bit through his chains in one clean bite.
Mel rose to his feet and let out a loud, palpable stretch.
Excellent choice, mates.
Just so happens I know the way out of this place.
The crew slinked through tight passageways lined with glistening rocks.
After what seemed like an hour, they emerged into the bright sunlight, each shielding their eyes as they adjusted to the burning orange light pouring down from the clear sky.
And they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.
Timothy, 226.
Everyone sort of stood around silently, unsure of what to do.
Well, the Interceptor is gone.
Guess he'll be on foot for the time being.
Travis reached into his boot and produced his bowie knife, using to cut the remaining leather straps from the shackles off of his wrist.
Mel Gibson eyed the blade excitedly.
Impressive blade.
Mind if I take a look?
Travis shrugged.
Sure, I don't see why not.
Mel took the sharp blade in his hand and proceeded to stab Jake over and over and over and over again.
Jake, a look of utter betrayal and sadness on his face, slumped to the ground, dead.
Now I can say whatever the fuck I want, you dude bastard.
Everyone looked absolutely horrified. Mel handed the knife back to Travis.
Thanks mate.
All we need now is some fresh pussy.
Bam!
Mel Gibson's head exploded into confetti of brains and bone fragments.
His headless corpse dropped to the ground like a sack of racist potatoes.
Everyone stood there, shocked and slightly relieved.
The two most annoying members of the group were now dead.
A rumble of an engine grew closer.
The creature pointed to the horizon.
Look!
Over the dune, a giant semi-truck appeared.
It was surrounded by crudely welded iron bars.
On top, a giant harpoon cannon was mounted to the cab.
Everyone froze at the semi-truck nearer and nearer.
Finally, about 50 feet away from them, it hissed to a stop.
A woman with one arm holding a large sniper rifle exited the vehicle and walked slowly towards the group.
They could see a handful of other women stationed along various platforms on the truck with rifles trained on them.
The woman looked directly at Lucy.
You okay?
Pretty good, actually.
Now, thanks.
The woman scanned the rest of the group.
Who are the men?
Lucy glanced at Andrew, Travis, and the creature.
They're reliable.
The woman nodded her head.
She made a gesture with her hand, and the women guarding the truck lowered their rifles.
Come with us, we have a place, it's safe.
The group followed the woman climbing onto the truck.
Travis took one last look at Jake and Mel Gibson's corpses, laying next to one another on the sand.
Vultures had already descended, beginning to pick at Jake's eyeballs.
Travis nodded his head grimly.
He would have wanted it this way.
With a loud hiss and a fearsome puff of steam, the semi-truck roared to a start
and took off into the sweltering dunes of the wasteland.
The end.
It's quite an experience.
Well, that's quite a tale.
Thank you for using my name once.
I appreciate that.
I was trying to build it was a really subtle way of kind of building in an arc for your character at the very end he gestures to you by name so yeah.
Yeah, two dead, including a horrifying racist anti-Semite.
And suddenly I'm nearer to being a human being.
I appreciate it.
Thank you guys for playing along with that.
That was delightful.
That was incredibly violent.
Where can QAA listeners follow you individually and how can they find your podcast?
I prefer if they didn't, personally.
You can follow me on Twitter at Lucyxiv.
You can find me on Twitter at illybotion.
And you can find the podcast, Bunta Vista.
That's B-O-O-N-T-A.
You can find it at buntavista.com.
It's got all the links there to, you know, getting it on iTunes or Spotify or Stitcher or the RSS feed or however you like to consume your shows.
And of course, we got our own Patreon and all that kind of stuff.
So that's where you can find us.
Yeah, go listen to them.
Thank you so much.
Well, it's been very fun.
Yes, it was very fun.
That was more fun than our podcast.
I think I'm done with Buntavista.
You have been listening to the QAnon Anonymous Podcast.
If you like the show, you can support us and get a second weekly episode for just five bucks a month.
This will also get you access to our whole archive of premium episodes, which is how many at this point?
I mean, well, you know, it depends when the person listens.
That's why I don't usually write that in.
But we currently have more than 40.
Yes.
So it's 45.
It's decent content.
Yeah, it's decent content.
Yeah, we have 40.
Five, okay?
Yeah.
That's two, you could probably listen for two full days without any sleep.
Or food.
You should probably eat.
No, no, no, do it without food and water.
We recommend you eat and drink while listening to the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
I'll make that clear.
We do not run any advertising on our show and we would love to keep it that way.
So if you find, uh, in your heart, please head to patreon.com slash QAnon Anonymous and subscribe.
Thank you so much.
Listener, until next week, may the Deep Dish bless you and keep you!
It's not a conspiracy, it's fact.
And now, today's Auto-Tune.
You guys may have seen this.
This is Mel Gibson's new movie, once again, The Troublemaker of Hollywood.
Shia LaBeouf, Mel Gibson starring in a comedy about New York's super-rich Rothschild.
So they dropped the S, and they're doing a comedy.
But we all know how much truth you can drop through comedy sometimes.
Yeah, it's funny in that picture, Gibson looks like he's wearing a yamaka.
