Premium Episode 42: Jacob Wohl feat Will Sommer (Sample)
Entertaining failson and wannabe political operative Jacob Wohl is joined by open-flied conspiracy theorist Jack Burkman and twitterless meltdown queen Laura Loomer as they embark on a very stupid and entertaining journey into the heart of American politics. After we do our usual deep dive, Will Sommer of the Daily Beast drops in to catch us up on the latest.
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You have had a profound influence on these three lives.
Welcome, listeners, to the 41st premium chapter of the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
The Jacob Wohl episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rakitansky, Julian Field, and Travis View.
Jacob Wohl is 21 years old.
He looks like an AI was fed a catalog of failed Abercrombie & Fitch models and instructed to build a baby shark.
Jacob, for those like us who are terminally online and politically poisoned, has been a source of endless amusement, ridicule, and frustration.
But is he secretly a Machiavellian genius?
No.
However, I will admit that there's something fascinating about Wohl.
He seems so profoundly incapable and confident that his life at times verges on performance art.
No surprise, then, that he often shares headlines with Laura Loomer, another dim-witted provocateur willing to fall down a flight of stairs if it convinces 4% of Americans that San Francisco is a no-go zone.
So, this week, listener, I invite you to join me as I take my two co-hosts on an incredibly stupid journey into the walnut brain of glossy-faced Instagram thought, Jacob Wohl.
But before that, let me introduce you to Jake's favorite show, the Two Live Jew podcast.
Huh?
Which...
Is that real?
Yes.
Which had a 10-episode run in July of 2018, four of which ended up on iTunes.
Fortunately for us.
Yeah, exactly.
As you'll see, it was clearly the inspiration for the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
I've prepared some snippets for your pleasure.
I'm Jacob Wool.
And I'm Laura Loomer.
And you're listening to the Two Live Jew Podcast.
People forget, I mean, they think Mexico, you know, they've got beaches and they've got good tacos and it's great.
Well, it's really not.
We're going to have terror tunnels coming into our country very soon, folks.
Oh, my God, just look at these fake pictures of Photoshopped kids in cages.
There's evidence that shows that individuals tied to ISIS in Mexico crossed over through the border to participate in the Las Vegas shooting.
So I think you're echoing a little.
Well, they've assigned her a mentor.
You know, I was saying you're echoing a little bit.
I'm not hearing it, but... I'm hearing it on my end, that's weird.
Huh.
It's just a YouTube thing, I'm sure, because it's not coming through for me.
Yeah, I hope not, because I can hear myself.
You can't use the bathroom.
You can't go to Chick-fil-A.
You'll have to apologize.
You can't eat chicken sandwiches.
You can't get a black coffee from Starbucks.
What else?
You can't go out to eat at a restaurant in Virginia.
You can't pack your child's lunch in a brown paper bag because it's a symbol of white privilege.
Many schools have banned brown paper bags.
You can't put your kids in t-shirts that have gorillas on them because it's racist against black children.
You know, I go to cigar lounges and I talk to business leaders and they tell me, you know, they run small businesses, medium-sized businesses, some cases large businesses, and they tell me, they say, Jacob, we can't hire attractive women anymore.
And attractive women used to be great.
And you've got all kinds of hanky-panky going on.
You've got people editing tapes.
The great thing about this podcast, though, is you only have to look at tens.
That's the only people we have on, Laura, myself, and if anybody else wants to come on, you know, you're gonna have to try out first if you want to join us.
We don't have a casting couch, so don't worry.
No, no, no casting couch.
Iran has blamed Israel for stealing the snow in the clouds.
Some might call that summer, others say it's a Mossad conspiracy.
I wanted to get into that.
But first, I want to go to the phones.
We have Jeff in New Hampshire.
Jeff in New Hampshire.
Let's hear what he's got to say.
Hi, yes, I saw you on Twitter, and I want to welcome you to the airwaves for your podcast.
We know the average IQ for Ashkenazi Jews, it's like the highest on the bell curve.
Okay, the literature is very clear.
The Israeli Mossad moving the clouds to me seems, frankly, more believable than driving cars destroying the entire world.
Anyway, folks, it's been a remarkable show.
Shabbat shalom to all of you out there, and we'll see you on Tuesday.
You're welcome for that.
I listened to two episodes.
I was gonna listen to all ten.
I listened to two and I was like, that's it.
You're like, enough.
You're like, there's enough here to make a hilarious mashup to show what giant idiots these two fucking sound like.
You can't dress your child in a t-shirt with a gorilla on it because it's racist to black children.
That's...
That's such a galaxy take.
You can't eat chicken sandwiches.
So those are Jewish people, Jake.
I actually didn't even know Jacob Wohl was a Jewish person.
I'm fully red-pilled now with the rest of the Anons.
The fact that these two are... Listen to them.
Listen to them talk about how they have the highest IQs.
I mean... And their 10s.
And they're tens.
I mean, they're joking about it, but they're also, like, kinda serious.
Kinda serious.
You can tell when Jacob Wohl says, like, you know, we'll have you try out.
And she's like, nah, it's not a casting couch.
And then just transition.
Anyways, people are blaming the clouds on the side.
How old's Laura Loomer?
They're both in, like, their mid-fucking... No, Jacob's really young, and I think Laura's, like, in her... Mid-twenties.
Like, twenty-five, maybe twenty-six or something.
Yeah, they're good people.
So, that's my favorite, I mean, sorry, your favorite podcast, Jake, and the inspiration for the QAA podcast.
Honestly, I appreciate you playing a couple clips for our listeners on the show.
Yeah.
Travis didn't know that this was the inspiration, but it's because we hid it from him until he was too far in.
If he had known, maybe.
Jacob Wohl.
Jacob is the son of David Wohl, an attorney, Trump campaign surrogate, and Fox News dipshit who was a vocal defender of Roy Moore, the Republican Senate candidate who also happened to be an alleged pedophile.
David's beautiful son Jacob first pierced the media sphere as a teenage hedge fund owner claiming to manage millions of other people's dollars.
At the time he referred to himself as the quote, Wohl of Wall Street.
Oh my god.
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