All Episodes
June 18, 2025 - Dennis Prager Show
07:05
Prager Comedy with Jason Alexander!
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Obviously, the world would be a much better place if each of us usually did the right thing.
So the question is, why don't we?
Well, one reason I'm afraid is because it's usually a lot easier to do the wrong thing.
This is my favorite part.
Watch this.
He's gonna jump out of the closet with a knife.
Shhh!
*Screaming*
Pardon.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
I'm sorry.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
All right.
I'm not saying that people want to be bad or that they wake up in the morning with evil thoughts like this.
Hmm.
I wonder what disgusting and antisocial thing I can do today.
Hmm.
I think I'll start with Mrs. O'Malley.
*laughter*
Okay, obviously, few people start off their day planning such evil.
But then again, it's also pretty rare when someone wakes up preoccupied with goodness.
Another day to help the sick and needy.
You know, goodness just doesn't have a great reputation.
In fact, it often turns people off.
And the reason is simple.
A lot of people think that being good means being a goody-goody.
Hey, guys, I've got a great idea.
You know, we were looking for a place to have Maggie's baby shower?
Yeah?
We could have it right here in the office.
Well, that is a great idea.
Hey, we could do it in the conference room over a Thursday lunch.
Yeah, no one's going to be using it this week.
Now, wait a minute.
You can't do that.
The conference room is not supposed to be used for social functions.
It's against the rules.
Hey, everyone's going to come.
It's going to be solo fun.
You know.
It's only fun until someone gets an eye.
I can make a jello mold or something like that.
Trisha could bring the cake.
Oh, what about gifts?
You know, I wonder if we should do pink or blue.
Oh, God, you know, in the 90s, it doesn't really matter anymore.
This guy's not trying to do good.
He's trying to be a goody-goody.
Someone who's a brown-noser, a non-questioning order taker, and a major pain in the ass.
Hey, that coffee's for employees only.
There's another bad rap on goodness, and that is that a lot of people believe that being honest puts them at a disadvantage.
All right, you have one hour to complete your test.
You can turn your papers over now.
Igneous, sedimentary, metamorphic.
Torek, ionic, carousel.
Serious.
See.
That's right.
None of the above.
Thanks.
Hey, I want to be honest, but what's the point?
The kids who are cheating seem to be getting ahead, so if I have to cheat a little, I'm going to do it.
That's right.
And my son is going to get into the best darn college he can, no matter what.
But there's a lot of competition out there.
You do what you got to do.
Come on.
Who's he really going to hurt anyway?
The question is: if you get used to cheating, when exactly do you plan on stopping?
At what point do you think you're going to be able to turn it off?
Oh, I really hope you know what you're doing, Doctor.
I've never had surgery.
I promise you, I'm going to do my very best.
But to tell you the truth, I had to cheat my way through medical school.
As a matter of fact, it was the only way I could pass this procedure.
I couldn't make Edzert Taylor.
Nurse, I don't need C-clamps and a lot of gauze.
This attitude of, hey, everybody cheats, so why don't I, is very common.
In fact, no matter how bad people's actions are, they find some way to justify what they've done.
Honey, do you really think we should take all these things?
Come on, doesn't everybody?
Well, not this much.
Hotels expect people to take things.
They just build it into the cost of the room.
Maybe an ashtray.
That's a pretty one.
Also, it's nice advertising for the hotel when people see these things in our home.
George, look!
There's a man in the parking lot.
He's in your car.
What?
What the hell are you doing?
What do you think I'm doing, twinning anti?
You're stealing my car!
Well, look at it this way.
Insurance companies expect cars to be ripped off.
They build it into the cost of the premium.
I can't afford the black car like this.
You're a rich businessman.
Just go buy another one.
Besides, everybody does it.
People can rationalize away almost anything.
If only we were as imaginative about doing good as we are about rationalizing bad.
But the problem is that doing good seldom brings the instant gratification that doing bad often does.
This is Matthew.
He's come here to buy a VCR.
Well, he wishes he could buy the fancy model with all those great features, but all he can really afford is the 393.
And that's just what he's paying for.
But then something happened.
Instead of bringing Matthew the 393, the clerk made a mistake and handed Matthew the top-of-the-line model, the R5UC.
Babe, I can't believe it.
You could never afford this.
The R5 UC, forehead digital audio tracking, flying a race, and you the commander remote.
Guys, I want hi-fi stereo sound as much as anyone, but you can't just walk out with something you didn't pay for.
Come on, Bab, come on.
Look at this place.
It's huge.
Just live with it.
It's not going to make any difference.
Anyway, it was their mistake.
But it's wrong.
It's no different than stealing.
Don't listen to him.
He's stupid.
He's a pinhead.
You feel fine.
Fine.
Fine, fine, fine.
Let's go.
I'm bringing it back.
No!
No!
You are out the door!
He was feeling great.
I can't believe he messed it up.
Yeah, the bad thing does feel good, but just for that moment.
On the other hand, when you do good, you'll feel good for a very long time afterward.
Okay, so now we've seen some reasons why people don't do more good.
But there are other obstacles to goodness that are simply part of our human nature.
The most important being, are you ready?
We're not basically good.
Now, we're not basically bad either.
But in every one of us, there is a will to do good and a will to do bad.
Knowing that we all have these two opposing wills can be unbelievably helpful to us.
It tells us that bad thoughts are normal.
Export Selection