Dennis Prager Show - Prager Comedy with Jason Alexander!
Aired: 2025-06-18
Duration: 07:05


=== Why We Choose Wrong (06:38) ===

[00:00:00]  Obviously, the world would be a much better place if each of us usually did the right thing.
[00:00:04]  So the question is, why don't we?
[00:00:07]  Well, one reason I'm afraid is because it's usually a lot easier to do the wrong thing.
[00:00:31]  This is my favorite part.
[00:00:32]  Watch this.
[00:00:33]  He's gonna jump out of the closet with a knife.
[00:00:34]  Shhh!
[00:00:35]  *Screaming*
[00:00:42]  Pardon.
[00:00:42]  Excuse me.
[00:00:43]  Excuse me.
[00:00:43]  Oh, I'm so sorry.
[00:00:44]  Excuse me.
[00:00:44]  Pardon me.
[00:00:45]  I'm sorry.
[00:00:46]  Oh, gosh.
[00:00:46]  Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:00:47]  All right.
[00:00:52]  I'm not saying that people want to be bad or that they wake up in the morning with evil thoughts like this.
[00:00:58]  Hmm.
[00:00:59]  I wonder what disgusting and antisocial thing I can do today.
[00:01:05]  Hmm.
[00:01:06]  I think I'll start with Mrs. O'Malley.
[00:01:10]  *laughter*
[00:01:18]  Okay, obviously, few people start off their day planning such evil.
[00:01:22]  But then again, it's also pretty rare when someone wakes up preoccupied with goodness.
[00:01:30]  Another day to help the sick and needy.
[00:01:35]  You know, goodness just doesn't have a great reputation.
[00:01:38]  In fact, it often turns people off.
[00:01:41]  And the reason is simple.
[00:01:42]  A lot of people think that being good means being a goody-goody.
[00:01:46]  Hey, guys, I've got a great idea.
[00:01:49]  You know, we were looking for a place to have Maggie's baby shower?
[00:01:51]  Yeah?
[00:01:52]  We could have it right here in the office.
[00:01:53]  Well, that is a great idea.
[00:01:55]  Hey, we could do it in the conference room over a Thursday lunch.
[00:01:58]  Yeah, no one's going to be using it this week.
[00:01:59]  Now, wait a minute.
[00:02:00]  You can't do that.
[00:02:01]  The conference room is not supposed to be used for social functions.
[00:02:03]  It's against the rules.
[00:02:04]  Hey, everyone's going to come.
[00:02:05]  It's going to be solo fun.
[00:02:06]  You know.
[00:02:07]  It's only fun until someone gets an eye.
[00:02:09]  I can make a jello mold or something like that.
[00:02:11]  Trisha could bring the cake.
[00:02:13]  Oh, what about gifts?
[00:02:14]  You know, I wonder if we should do pink or blue.
[00:02:15]  Oh, God, you know, in the 90s, it doesn't really matter anymore.
[00:02:18]  This guy's not trying to do good.
[00:02:20]  He's trying to be a goody-goody.
[00:02:22]  Someone who's a brown-noser, a non-questioning order taker, and a major pain in the ass.
[00:02:29]  Hey, that coffee's for employees only.
[00:02:33]  There's another bad rap on goodness, and that is that a lot of people believe that being honest puts them at a disadvantage.
[00:02:40]  All right, you have one hour to complete your test.
[00:02:42]  You can turn your papers over now.
[00:02:44]  Igneous, sedimentary, metamorphic.
[00:03:01]  Torek, ionic, carousel.
[00:03:04]  Serious.
[00:03:13]  See.
[00:03:13]  That's right.
[00:03:14]  None of the above.
[00:03:15]  Thanks.
[00:03:18]  Hey, I want to be honest, but what's the point?
[00:03:21]  The kids who are cheating seem to be getting ahead, so if I have to cheat a little, I'm going to do it.
[00:03:27]  That's right.
[00:03:28]  And my son is going to get into the best darn college he can, no matter what.
[00:03:32]  But there's a lot of competition out there.
[00:03:34]  You do what you got to do.
[00:03:36]  Come on.
[00:03:37]  Who's he really going to hurt anyway?
[00:03:39]  The question is: if you get used to cheating, when exactly do you plan on stopping?
[00:03:45]  At what point do you think you're going to be able to turn it off?
[00:03:50]  Oh, I really hope you know what you're doing, Doctor.
[00:03:53]  I've never had surgery.
[00:03:54]  I promise you, I'm going to do my very best.
[00:03:58]  But to tell you the truth, I had to cheat my way through medical school.
[00:04:01]  As a matter of fact, it was the only way I could pass this procedure.
[00:04:03]  I couldn't make Edzert Taylor.
[00:04:04]  Nurse, I don't need C-clamps and a lot of gauze.
[00:04:12]  This attitude of, hey, everybody cheats, so why don't I, is very common.
[00:04:16]  In fact, no matter how bad people's actions are, they find some way to justify what they've done.
[00:04:21]  Honey, do you really think we should take all these things?
[00:04:24]  Come on, doesn't everybody?
[00:04:26]  Well, not this much.
[00:04:27]  Hotels expect people to take things.
[00:04:29]  They just build it into the cost of the room.
[00:04:31]  Maybe an ashtray.
[00:04:33]  That's a pretty one.
[00:04:35]  Also, it's nice advertising for the hotel when people see these things in our home.
[00:04:40]  George, look!
[00:04:41]  There's a man in the parking lot.
[00:04:42]  He's in your car.
[00:04:44]  What?
[00:04:46]  What the hell are you doing?
[00:04:48]  What do you think I'm doing, twinning anti?
[00:04:50]  You're stealing my car!
[00:04:52]  Well, look at it this way.
[00:04:53]  Insurance companies expect cars to be ripped off.
[00:04:56]  They build it into the cost of the premium.
[00:04:58]  I can't afford the black car like this.
[00:04:59]  You're a rich businessman.
[00:05:00]  Just go buy another one.
[00:05:02]  Besides, everybody does it.
[00:05:05]  People can rationalize away almost anything.
[00:05:07]  If only we were as imaginative about doing good as we are about rationalizing bad.
[00:05:13]  But the problem is that doing good seldom brings the instant gratification that doing bad often does.
[00:05:19]  This is Matthew.
[00:05:21]  He's come here to buy a VCR.
[00:05:22]  Well, he wishes he could buy the fancy model with all those great features, but all he can really afford is the 393.
[00:05:29]  And that's just what he's paying for.
[00:05:31]  But then something happened.
[00:05:33]  Instead of bringing Matthew the 393, the clerk made a mistake and handed Matthew the top-of-the-line model, the R5UC.
[00:05:44]  Babe, I can't believe it.
[00:05:47]  You could never afford this.
[00:05:48]  The R5 UC, forehead digital audio tracking, flying a race, and you the commander remote.
[00:05:55]  Guys, I want hi-fi stereo sound as much as anyone, but you can't just walk out with something you didn't pay for.
[00:06:00]  Come on, Bab, come on.
[00:06:02]  Look at this place.
[00:06:03]  It's huge.
[00:06:03]  Just live with it.
[00:06:04]  It's not going to make any difference.
[00:06:09]  Anyway, it was their mistake.
[00:06:10]  But it's wrong.
[00:06:11]  It's no different than stealing.
[00:06:13]  Don't listen to him.
[00:06:14]  He's stupid.
[00:06:14]  He's a pinhead.
[00:06:15]  You feel fine.
[00:06:16]  Fine.
[00:06:16]  Fine, fine, fine.
[00:06:17]  Let's go.
[00:06:19]  I'm bringing it back.
[00:06:20]  No!
[00:06:21]  No!
[00:06:22]  You are out the door!

=== Will To Do Good And Bad (00:41) ===

[00:06:26]  He was feeling great.
[00:06:27]  I can't believe he messed it up.
[00:06:29]  Yeah, the bad thing does feel good, but just for that moment.
[00:06:33]  On the other hand, when you do good, you'll feel good for a very long time afterward.
[00:06:38]  Okay, so now we've seen some reasons why people don't do more good.
[00:06:43]  But there are other obstacles to goodness that are simply part of our human nature.
[00:06:47]  The most important being, are you ready?
[00:06:50]  We're not basically good.
[00:06:51]  Now, we're not basically bad either.
[00:06:54]  But in every one of us, there is a will to do good and a will to do bad.
[00:06:58]  Knowing that we all have these two opposing wills can be unbelievably helpful to us.
[00:07:03]  It tells us that bad thoughts are normal.