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So I have the diametrically opposed experience of yours in high school.
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I know.
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All I did was play.
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That's all I did.
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I did not do one homework in four years.
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I graduated in the bottom.
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What is it, the bottom?
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20. 20%, thank you, of my class.
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Top 80?
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I love saying that at Speeches, folks.
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I graduated in the top 80% of my high school class.
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Do people get it, or does it take a minute?
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No, no.
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I bet they don't.
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But I always stop, and then I wait for the first person to laugh, then the second, and then the hundredth, and then the two hundredth.
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Yes.
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And I'll tell you why I say this.
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People are amazed...
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And I'm not complimenting myself.
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I'm amazed too.
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So it's not a compliment issue.
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It's just a fact.
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I have no burnout.
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And I think a big part of it is I started late.
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What do you mean you started late?
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I started to work later.
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I didn't work in elementary school or high school.
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I just played.
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Well, you know, someone who was also like that was Alan Dershowitz, interestingly.
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By the way, did you guys go to the same Shiva?
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Yes, we did, yes.
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Wow.
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He was a few years ahead of me, so I didn't know him.
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He was a very...
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Wait, did he say that?
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Yes, he did.
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He faked his own suicide in high school.
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Oh, that's not funny.
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No, it's not funny, but he was just a total...
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He didn't care about school.
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So wait, where did he go to elementary school?
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Oh, he went to Brooklyn.
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I think he went to Brooklyn.
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And then he went to Harvard.
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Yeah.
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Oh, okay.
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And you know what?
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I saw him a few days ago, and he was telling this story.
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He went by Avi, or Obby, instead of Alan as a child, apparently.
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And he ran into someone from his high school.
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This is like 20 years ago.
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He's in his mid-80s.
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And he introduced himself as Alan Dershowitz.
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And the guy from the high school said, Oh, I know that name, Dershowitz.
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Are you related to Avi Dershowitz?
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And Alan said, No, no, I'm not.
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And the guy said, Sorry, Alan said, No, I'm not.
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But nothing came of him.
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And the guy responded, Oh, yeah, well, that's not a shock.
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We all could have.
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Seeing that he went about it to nothing.
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Oh, that's hilarious.
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Isn't it?
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There are a lot of people who kind of have that, and not that that was you, but didn't really put their heads down until later.
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No, my parents thought I would end up nothing.
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Really?
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Yeah, absolutely.
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Those people really interest me.
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By the way, it was totally conscious.
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I even wrote about it.
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Wow.
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I actually wrote about it in essays for classes that I... I'm doing what I want.
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Now, it's very important that people understand, when I say I played, I was not going to parties.
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I've never liked a party.
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I don't like parties.
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I know you don't.
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Right.
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So, what I did, I had a massive amount of fun.
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First of all, much of the day at school, I laughed.
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I will tell you, this is truly hilarious.
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Although I may be the only one watching, listening, or listening who finds it hilarious.
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Or participating.
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Correct.
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I didn't know how to refer to you.
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That's right.
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Or participating.
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So here is an example in my Talmud class.
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That is so cool.
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You had a Talmud class.
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Yes, of course.
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That sounds nerdy.
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Half the day was Judaic studies in Hebrew and half the day was secular studies in English.
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And I learned a lot, obviously.
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But I also horsed around a lot.
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So in the Talmud class, and I never found Talmud riveting.
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I don't blame the tone, but I blame me.
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But it's just a fact.
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It was an Aramaic to begin with.
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My Aramaic is rusty.
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My Hebrew is excellent, but my Aramaic is nothing.
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And it was often on subjects that I didn't care about.
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They were very, you know, legal minutia.
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Anyway, so from the first, so September comes around.
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We go to class the first day.
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So I was sitting behind.
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A guy, Isaac.
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And what I would do...
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There's no way you could fully relate to this.
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Did you ever hear of the Publishers Clearinghouse?
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I'm sure not.
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Yeah, of course.
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How?
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Just, I don't know, living in the world.
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You got mail?
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You got mail from them?
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No, I just heard of that name.
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Okay, so Publishers Clearinghouse would send like 100 million Americans.
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They would get an envelope.
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With little stickers.
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So they're like postage stamps.
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You tear them.
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They're perforated.
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You tear them.
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And you would put each of those stickers was the name of a magazine.
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And that's why it's called Publishers Clearinghouse.
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Publishers of magazines would use Publishers Clearinghouse to get subscribers.
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I see.
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So if I would, let's say, put down Popular Electronics, which I did a subscribe to.
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So I would take, tear off the adhesive picture of Popular Electronics and stick it on the box for a reduced price, right?
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Get it with me?
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I'm with you.
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So I would bring those into class and I would take one of the stickies, perhaps, you know, Popular Mechanics.
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Or, I don't know, Sports Illustrated.
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And I would stick it on Isaac's back.
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Isaac would then go like this, and he would pull off a sticker of one of the magazines and get annoyed with me, which was the only point of it.
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If he didn't get annoyed with me.
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Yeah, of course.
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That's what makes it fun.
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There's no joy.
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So I would do it about one or two more times.
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And then for the rest of the year, all I would do is put my thumb on his back with no stab.
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And he would still go like this.
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So people have to understand, this is so childish what I'm describing, but it was so much fun driving him nuts.
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When I went to school, every kid brought a briefcase, not a backpack.
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That's so cute!
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Yes, every kid.
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The girls, too.
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Everybody had a briefcase with their notebook and their books, right?
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Their pencils, pens.
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I was so bored in class.
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That's a big factor.
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It didn't matter if it was in English or Hebrew.
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I was bored.
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What I would do is I would arrange with my male cohorts.
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There you go.
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Cohort.
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I would arrange with them.
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At a certain sign that they would all take the girl's briefcase from the side of their seat and switch it with another girl's briefcase.
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That's the kind of stuff I would do.
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Yeah, I know, I believe you.
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Oh, that's totally, yes.
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No, it sounds like you're getting up from the water and doing the sign.
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Yeah, going under and waving.
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The teacher would then say, all right, everybody, take out your notebooks, please.
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And then the girls would go down, and it wasn't their briefcase, and they would yell or panic, right?
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And I, the joy that that brought me.
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I know, it's so fun.
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It's immeasurable.
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I used to push people in the pool, and they were like getting ready to, you know.
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You did?
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Yeah, they'd be standing on the edge.
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Oh, the girls, I assume.
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