Last night at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, known as the Al Smith Dinner, it's an annual white tie dinner in New York City to raise funds for Catholic charities in the Archdiocese of New York.
And it's been known as the place where you go and you take pot shots at yourself and at others.
So here is three minutes worth of President...
Trump speaking at the Al Smith dinner.
The fact is, we need new leadership in this country.
Right now we have someone in the White House who can barely talk, barely put together two coherent sentences, who seems to have mental faculties of a child, it's said.
There's a person that has nothing going, no intelligence whatsoever, but enough about...
Kamala Harris.
Let's get on to something.
I used to think the Democrats were crazy for saying that men have periods.
But then I met Tim Walz.
But look on the bright side, Chuck, considering how woke your party has become.
If Kamala loses, you still have a chance to become the first woman president.
Joe has almost disappeared from view.
The only way he could be seen less is if he had a show on CNN. They had nothing.
They've got nothing.
But unfortunately, Governor Walz isn't here himself.
But don't worry, he'll say that he was.
He's going to say he was.
Some good lines.
I'm supposed to tell a few self-deprecating jokes this evening.
So here it goes.
Nope.
I've got nothing.
I've got nothing.
There's nothing to say.
I guess I just don't see the point of taking shots at myself when other people have been shooting at me for a hell of a long time.
And as you may have seen, Kamala did an interview on Fox News yesterday.
It went so poorly.
I heard that the Democrats have been forced to install another 100 drop boxes throughout the city.
There's a group called White Dudes for Harris.
Have you seen this?
White Dudes for Harris.
Anybody know?
Are some of you here?
White Dudes for Harris.
Doesn't sound like it.
But I'm not worried about them at all because their wives and their wives' lovers are all voting for me.
We have another former New York City mayor with us, frankly, easily the worst in our history.
And it's not Michael that I can tell you.
I'm surprised that Bill de Blasio was actually able to make it tonight, to be honest.
He was a terrible mayor.
I don't give a shit if this is comedy or not.
He was a terrible mayor.
He did a horrible, he did a horrible job.
That's not comedy, by the way.
That's fact.
Well, I'd better wrap up because Mayor Adams told me earlier that I needed to make this one very quick, especially the city has reserved this room for a large group of illegal aliens coming in from Texas.
Well, some devastating stuff there.
I thought...
The punchline with Kamala Harris.
Everybody thought he was speaking about Joe Biden.
He says, no, I'm referring to Kamala Harris.
And, well, you're supposed to say self-deprecating things, but I've got nothing to say.