Dec. 16, 2020 - Dennis Prager Show
07:17
| 
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| If one spouse has contempt for the other, that's pretty much the end of the marriage. | |
| Either de facto or de jure. | |
| In fact, or by law, or both. | |
| Okay, but what's the greatest threat to a marriage that does not necessarily lead to divorce, but certainly leads... | |
| To a defective marriage. | |
| It's related. | |
| It's not entirely the same as contempt. | |
| It's a step below and far more common. | |
| So are you ready? | |
| Taking your spouse for granted. | |
| That's a real danger and it just happens. | |
| It can happen. | |
| Over time. | |
| Familiarity breeds contempt, though I'm not going to use the C word, contempt, because that's the obvious marriage killer. | |
| What does taking for granted mean? | |
| When you fell in love, presumably you fell in love with the person you married to, I'll bet you felt you were lucky to get them As a spouse, as a husband or a wife. | |
| Is that fair to say? | |
| If you don't think you're lucky to have gotten this person, I don't think you should marry them. | |
| I mean, there are cultures, and most of history, people did not even pursue being lucky to find somebody. | |
| It was arranged by parents, by society. | |
| People live that way, and some marriages I have no doubt worked out. | |
| But in our time, wherein one chooses whom to marry for oneself, then most people feel lucky to have gotten the person. | |
| Right? | |
| If I'd ask anybody at their wedding, are you lucky to have her? | |
| Are you lucky to have him? | |
| 99% would say yes. | |
| Maybe 90%, maybe 10% don't feel it and have misgivings about getting married, which I've covered as well. | |
| How many people walk down the aisle not sure? | |
| Or with regrets or with fears? | |
| Okay, so putting them aside. | |
| Most people think that they are lucky to have found the person and that the person is now married to them. | |
| The trick in marriage, and there are a lot of tricks, so to speak, is to maintain that sense of I am lucky to have her, I am lucky to have him. | |
| One way to do it is to sort of say it to yourself, and ideally to the other, regularly. | |
| And if you catch yourself not saying it, or saying it much less than you did at the beginning, that's a danger sign for your marriage. | |
| And it feeds on itself because if you stop thinking that and start taking the person for granted, they'll just be there. | |
| There's nothing I need to do. | |
| That's a bad sign. | |
| That's the other part of taking the person for granted is the first part was thinking you're lucky. | |
| The second part is... | |
| If you take something for granted, then you don't work to maintain it. | |
| Correct? | |
| It's very simple. | |
| You take it for granted. | |
| Listen, by the way, this applies to friendship too. | |
| If you take friends for granted and don't work to maintain the friendship, then that too will ultimately die. | |
| You can't take friends for granted. | |
| No matter how much I ignore them or whatever it might be, you have to feel lucky to have the friends you have. | |
| I have a man on the street. | |
| Sir, do you feel lucky to have the friends you have? | |
| Lucky doesn't even cover it. | |
| That's very touching. | |
| That is very touching. | |
| I'm not kidding. | |
| Because you don't usually get emotional statements from the living martyr. | |
| I feel that way, and he knows I feel that way. | |
| By the way, take your health for granted. | |
| You won't maintain that. | |
| Taking for granted anything is a serious danger. | |
| 1-8 Prager 776-877-243-7776. | |
| Taking anything for granted means that you don't work at it. | |
| That you're not, and not only that, it also means that you don't really think it's special. | |
| They're all tied into one another. | |
| Feeling lucky. | |
| Every day I'm healthy, I think I'm lucky. | |
| I do. | |
| Because luck is a huge factor. | |
| I take care of myself, but luck is a huge factor. | |
| I don't know if there's anything I could do to prevent pancreatic cancer or ALS or other things, and I know people... | |
| A dear friend of mine, a beautiful human being, just died of ALS. I adored this man. | |
| He and his spectacular wife would come on cruises with me, even with his ALS, which was kept under control remarkably well for quite some time. | |
| And, you know, he spoke. | |
| He couldn't move around, but he spoke completely coherently. | |
| He was a joy. | |
| He wanted to live life to its fullest. | |
| I wonder if he was booked on the cruise that was canceled because of the lockdowns. |
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