Pearl Daily’s Christians On Dating Apps dives into the paradox of faith-based dating, where apps like Christian Mingle (owned by secular Match Group) and Upward expose users to scams, superficiality, and even hypocrisy—callers like Charles warn of "born-again single moms" exploiting men’s desperation, while Jim, a former worship leader, recounts church dating’s toxic reputation pressures. Only 12% of users find love, yet some, like Quish, defend apps as tools for intentional dating, though others, including Jackson and Doug MPA, highlight manipulative behaviors and unrealistic expectations. The episode concludes that while rare genuine connections exist, faith alone can’t fix systemic flaws—churches must rethink their approach to dating culture. [Automatically generated summary]
I am your host, Pearl, here at the Audacity Network.
Today, I have a special show for you.
We are going to be talking about Christians on dating apps.
But before we get into today's topics, as you guys know, I have a couple housekeeping, you know, updates.
So, the first update is that, guys, theaudacitynetwork.com, that's T-H-E-A-U-D-A-C I-T-Y D dot.
Oh my gosh, I can't talk today.
C-O-M.
The link is in the description, or you can look it up on the app stores.
We are going to have smart, intelligent men give presentations on their industry.
And tomorrow, someone is giving a presentation talking about is federal work for you?
You know, it's really going to be explaining the current situation of the federal government from a federal employee's point of view, explain the ins and outs of federal work, their experience, and the best practices, and the pros and cons.
This smart, intelligent man did very well in this industry, and so he's going to give you guys the ins and outs.
And you can see if it's something that's for you.
As you guys know, I have found that some of the most intelligent men that I know are not famous.
So, what I wanted to do was give you guys value where you guys can ask them questions directly and they can give presentations on different industries, but they have the privacy and being anonymous that they want.
So, because most, a lot of the most smart men that I know really have no desire for fame.
Okay, so let's get into today's episode.
Welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily.
Conversations are being had about the effectiveness of dating apps.
Although meeting online is still the number one way of meeting people, younger millennial and Gen Z are trying different avenues to date.
While on the decline, it would still be helpful to learn how to navigate the world of online dating.
What to put in your profile and how to message a woman and arrange a date offline are essential skills to learn if a man wants any success in meeting women online.
But what happens if you are religious?
Many Christians have not found success finding a relationship in their church or their church doesn't foster Christian relationships with its members.
This leaves many to try online dating.
So, what are the issues with Christians dating online?
Some argue that dating apps put Christians, some argue that dating apps put Christians' mind into a consumeristic and individualistic mindset, making the Christian view people on the app as items to be swiped on instead of actual people.
Dating apps create an illusion of infinite choice, making a Christian create an unrealistic expectation of a potential partner, leading to anxiety.
The quick nature of dating apps can hinder the development of a deep and meaningful relationship.
Some Christians may feel a stigma and hide their dating apps from other members of their faith.
You know, these hoes are on Tinder.
You know how these church hoes are.
They hide the app, but they're on T. You know, you know how it is.
They got to throw it back with somebody.
So, in church, here's the hierarchy of women trying to throw it back in church.
So, obviously, number one draft pick is going to be the pastor.
They're going to try to throw it back.
So, that's their number one.
But if that doesn't work out, they quickly go for the members of the bands, maybe security guards, maybe the pastor's right-hand man, or obviously, the muscle guys in church that run through these hoes.
Yeah, so you know, when they go, when all the church hoes go through that, they obviously got to go to Tinder.
So, there are many non-Christian dating apps that there are so many non-Christians on dating apps that finding a genuine faith-based connection can be difficult.
These hoes don't have faith.
Okay, let's take a look at some of the hidden dangers of dating apps.
Okay, four hidden dangers Christian needs to know Christians need to know about online dating.
Okay.
Can I get rid of this ad?
Oh, thank you.
Okay.
So, here is this person's experience.
So, my wife and I, both devout believers, met on a secular dating app.
And while the end result of that experience was more of a blessing than I could have ever asked for, we did spend the entire first date sharing how terrible our online dating experiences had been.
This was no surprise to me.
Having worked in the online dating industry for years, I was privy to an insider experience of what things were like for Christian singles.
Naski, Nada, not good.
Again, this is the problem.
It's people trying to date traditional in a modern world, it just leads to both sides really taking L's.
Because obviously, the women are going to go for Chads first.
And Chads really don't value chastity until maybe 10, 15 years in when they're looking for their wife.
But do you know how many women they don't give a shit about chastity with?
Do you know what I'm saying?
Because I know, like, you want to, we want a virtue signal and say, don't go for Chads.
Yeah.
Let me know how that works, selling that to the ladies.
You know what, ladies, go for the men in your league.
Okay.
So, what happens is the women, they're going to go for Chad's.
Chads don't care about purity.
Now, the Christian men do maybe a Christian Chad, but there's not many Christian Chads.
And the problem is, the Christian women are the ones that try to maintain some sense of purity.
They have no relationship skills, right?
And the issue they get is Chads, they need more than just sex.
It's like the bare minimum.
It's like it takes this much to get in.
Like purity just isn't the same to Chads until like they're really on a mission to settle down.
Otherwise, it just kind of happens.
Like somehow, somehoe just likes him so much.
He can really do whatever he wants and he's like good enough.
So that's how the women take the L's.
The men, on the other hand, take the L's because, well, they're like, let me court you.
And the women are like, this is a target.
You want to court me in this economy?
They realize it's a target.
So a lot of, there's a lot of L's in church.
Now, fast forward a few years to one Sunday at church that would change our lives forever.
Our pastor was speaking about the breakdown of the family unit across the county or the country and the negative effects it was having on the Christian community.
God put it on my heart that we needed to do something to provide a safe and effective way for Christians to better connect romantically.
I felt that taking what I knew about online dating and creating something Christ-centered could bring real change with the potential for generational impact.
I shared this with my wife.
We portrayed, we prayed about it for a while and we eventually put our yes on the table.
Now, you see a lot of these apps come across, right?
And what happens is these Christians come in and they think that they can convince men and women to not like to make their biology go away, right?
So when you get a group of women, we are just, we just always go for the hot guys.
We're like the hot guys, the charming guys, whoever it is, the guy with a good, I mean, we're pretty dumb, right?
So we fall for damn near anything.
You put a guy with a guitar, he can do like three chords, the women are in love, right?
You get a guy doing comedy in the front of the room, the women are like anything.
We just never leave high school.
So it's like popularity forever.
I mean, in the PUAs, they like mimic this, right?
It's hilarious.
So what they do is they teach guys, and it works on us.
I'm no, I'm not special or different, right?
So I don't want this to come off as an I'm better than you.
Obviously, it works on me too, right?
I'm a woman, right?
It works on everybody.
So, you know, the PUAs, they teach the men to like know the bartenders, to know everybody in a certain community.
So the girl thinks that he's popular.
Oh, it's too funny.
Anyways, so.
All right.
Now you guys get this.
Okay.
So now, where am I going with this?
Where am I going?
Oh, and so the Christians, what they try to do is they try to get people to not do what people do in groups.
So they're like, men, top men, please settle down.
Don't run through these hoes.
They're like, please don't run through these hoes.
You're a pastor.
Did you know half of pastors have admitted to emotional affairs at least?
And a quarter, like cheating.
So half a pastor, if the literal men of God can't not do it when it's easy, right?
Because they're in the front of the room.
They can't help it.
The Punani is just given to them.
I'm like, it's like on a platter.
These church hoes, you know what I mean?
So All these people, they think they can make an app that foregoes human nature to get the Chads to stop running through, to get the women to stop going for Chads.
But the only solution is to figure out how to play the game and how to win.
And this economy, right?
You know, the women, it's learning relationship skills.
You could try to sell purity under 22.
Maybe if he's stupid, up to 25.
But you can't sell that much, right?
You know?
So, I mean, but if he's like dumb, then the girls won't even like him anyway.
Then she'll just realize she can run circles around him.
He'll just get cheated on.
But, you know, look at these things.
So they all think that religion is a buffer.
And you know, my boyfriend actually sent me something today that said that religious countries don't have more children.
So religion is not a buffer to human nature.
Christian countries do not have the most children.
Really, people just have kids when they have to, because whenever we get money, people are like, eh.
I should preface.
Women are like, eh, we're completely in charge.
Okay, but I'll keep going on this article.
So, but here's the bigger realization I had during the process.
Most Christians and church leaders are unaware of the hidden dangers within the online dating industry.
And while this knowledge gap is understandable, it's dangerous for our singles and our churches.
While with 96% of pastors being married and that trend continuing throughout much of church leadership, it makes sense that knowledge and experience and these new forms of digital dating may be scarce.
But with millions of Christian singles in the U.S. expected to use online dating app this year, church leaders simply cannot choose to ignore the needs of the singles in their congregation.
Now, this guy's going to go on to outline four important issues Christian singles, pastors, and ministry leaders need to know about online dating apps.
I'm going to get to that, but I want to tell you guys my experience.
Now, I grew up in a Catholic church.
Now, I'm going to focus on after school.
I went to a Protestant church for like two years and I was pretty into it.
I lived with people from the church.
I went to Bible study twice a week, right?
And I remember someone asked me if I wanted to do a dating event.
And I was like, oh, I was single at the time.
So I'm like, all right, let's do it.
And they say, well, you probably won't get anything.
Right.
And I'm like, what do you mean I won't get anything?
And what they told me was that it's 90% women at these dating events.
And I'm like, oh, wow.
Why am I even at this church?
I thought we were here to get boyfriends.
No.
I'm like, why am I even here?
Anyway, so then, then at this, I know, I think I was there for the wrong reasons, right?
Anyway, so these churches, what they have is they have all these events and the women, they kind of police each other.
It's really interesting.
It's like a weird dynamic because you live with a lot of the other women and they tell you not to date on the dating apps.
Now, this is a little different, but there they said you have to date someone in the church.
So I'm like, you guys are going to put a gun to my head, basically, and make me die alone.
Like, I can't, I can't, I have to date within this church.
Or they said go to other churches that are similar.
But I'm like, these men don't want to go to church.
Do you know what I mean?
These men aren't putting up with this bullshit here.
And then it becomes like a single woman.
And then I went on this, like, they had these like retreats you could go on and you like read the Bible and whatever.
And I actually met some pretty cool like women there, but I looked around.
I'm like, all these women are older than me and single.
I'm going to die alone if I stay here.
And I really had this realization that the church really does leave women single because instead of going out like normally women will feel lonely, right?
So we'll ditch the whatever community and we'll be like, oh, let me go find a boyfriend or a husband, whatever.
But what happens in these churches is the women get the sense of community from the church.
So they don't really feel the need.
And they also get the ability to disqualify men for not being godly enough.
And that's whatever the women deem is godly.
And you guys see how that's like a path for destruction.
Like there was this one woman at her church that a limited, she was like older.
She was an older woman and like, not older, but like, okay, I don't want to give too many details.
Over 25, less than 35, I'll say.
And she was a virgin, right?
Or allegedly.
I mean, who knows?
But, and she eliminated a guy for not being godly because he tried to sleep with her.
I'm like, bitch, you're not no spring chicken.
What did you think was going to, what did you, do you know what I mean?
Like, would you, that's not going to work now.
Do you know what I mean?
But, and they also shame the male sex drive.
So, I mean, we all know, like, part of being a man is you guys just want to have sex with everything.
It's terrible.
I mean, not terrible.
Sorry.
I just did it.
But, like, it's very humbling as a woman because there's nothing like new vagina to a man.
Like, you could be a 10 out of 10 and he would just rather have sex with the new one.
It's just like, you can't compete with it.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, it's the worst because really, after a certain time, like, guys get sick of sleeping with you, what, after two years?
I mean, that's like enough, right?
If you got a good gluck, gluck, maybe three.
But, like, he's still going to want to sleep with that new woman more.
And that's why I got to thank the corn stars out there.
Thank you, ladies, because I feel like you guys prevent cheating because they can just look at you.
Right?
Right?
Anyways, so these churches, they really do leave women single.
They really do.
Because they allow women to feel holier than thou because all they have to do is put on a Jesus necklace and read the Bible and then you can think you're a good person.
They don't tell you to not be annoying or not nag or learn the gluck glut.
Like I had Christians on Twitter say that you shouldn't be your husband's porn star.
Well, who's going to do it?
Do you know what I mean?
It's like, I mean, now I understand there's some weird corn stuff.
Like, I'm not saying you got to be insane, but I mean, wouldn't you rather him looking at you than looking at that?
Do you know?
Whatever, whatever.
Anyway, so now these are the problems this Christian guy found on the Christian dating apps.
Not all Christian dating apps are Christian.
One of the most prevalent and detrimental assumption is that all Christian dating apps are actually Christian.
Just because an online dating app has Christian in the title or Christ in the branding does not mean that it's run by Christian leaders or that it cares about biblical values.
In fact, the majority of the largest and most popular Christian dating apps in the U.S. are run by secular companies.
For example, Upward is the largest Christian dating app on the market right now and is an option many pastors currently regularly recommend to their singles.
However, unbeknownst to them, Upward is actually owned by Match Group, an $11 billion company that owns secular dating apps like Match.com, Hinge, and casual style, casual hookup style dating apps like Tinder.
Unfortunately, the experience for Christian singles on Upward is much of what you would expect from a secular company.
This app is riddled with inappropriate content, utilizes the same matchmaking processes as Tinder, and is filled with secular features that would make a pastor blush.
Yeah, like filtering height or, you know, I'm pretty sure you can basically buy women on Tinder these days.
Okay, additionally, apps like Christian Mingle and eHarmony are often thought of as being Christian-owned companies.
In reality, though, Christian Mingle is owned by a massively publicly traded company out of Germany called SparkNotes that owns many casual secular dating apps.
And eHarmony clearly shares they are not a Christian dating app and more focused on inclusivity.
Number two, secular companies have different opinions on what is appropriate, what is inappropriate.
With the majority of Christian dating apps being run by secular companies, it's important to highlight an area where Christians and the world differ heavily on their viewpoint, specifically when it relates to the topic of lust.
Yeah, you guys think that slapping God on the title is going to make women not get naked.
Truly.
I mean, yeah.
Spend just a few minutes on some of the most popular Christian dating apps and you'll see a barrage of scantily clad photos, excessive cleavage, shirt-off pictures.
And while everyone may have a slightly different viewpoint on what is showing too much, these apps can choose to err on the side of letting people do what they want as opposed to being mindful of the things that could cause a Christian brother or sister to stumble.
When you pair with this fact that Christians are led to feel that they're in a safe and Christ-centered space, the lack of modesty can become quickly normalized.
I mean, if you guys know what, Christians will die on the hill of women being whores.
They really will.
There was a girl on Twitter recently.
I mean, she was thirst trapping at her job.
I mean, as the trad e-girls do.
And I just pointed it out.
And you know what?
All of the Christians yelled at me for pointing it out.
This is what you're dealing with.
Now, number three is romance scams are real.
And Christian singles are the highest value target.
The last major blind spot church and ministry leaders need to know about are the very real dangers of romance scams.
By definition, a romance scam is when someone impersonates someone else online with the intention of separating someone from their money.
Yeah, Christian men, unfortunately, are the biggest purchasers of OnlyFans, Christian married men.
Even God can't stop these men from wanting to be with multiple women.
It's so unfortunate.
Do you know what I mean?
You could be so hot as a woman and there's just nothing you can do.
Nothing.
Nothing.
There are horror stories you see that simply break your heart.
Christian singles are prime targets for scammers because they tend to be kind, giving, and empathetic, even with strangers.
Scammers know and therefore target Christian singles both online and in person much more.
Number four, the act of swiping profiles is creating an addictive behavior for women.
I mean, how many swipes do you really get as a guy?
Um, there is a lot of research showing that swipe dating is causing serious mental health problems for singles.
On average, users scroll through 20 hours per week.
Wow, I save a lot of time being in a relationship.
20 hours, okay, which builds an addictive dopamine loop like drugs, alcohol, and gambling addictions.
People join these apps, start swiping.
When they get their first match, it fires a high-level dopamine rush to the brain.
From there, people keep swiping to choose to chase that high.
But there are a lot of reasons why they'll never achieve that feeling.
The problem is so bad that people are experiencing withdrawal, draw symptoms, like twitching fingers when they don't use the apps.
Wow, is it that bad out there?
Dang.
Okay.
If an online app truly has Christian values, they should take on added responsibility to protect their users.
Unfortunately, that is often overlooked for a couple of reasons.
First, most secular dating apps don't take additional security steps because it's too expensive or takes too many resources to implement.
Secondly, the secular apps aren't aware of the increased risk and therefore aren't even aware of the magnitude of the problem.
The latter tends to be the case with smaller Christian dating apps that may have their hearts in the right place, but lack the industry knowledge to properly deliver a safe experience.
The question becomes: Should singles even take a chance with online dating?
Okay, what's the downside?
You might as well try it.
I'm not saying it'll work, but all right, churches have learned to leverage technology in so many ways to better serve God's people.
In the right context, online dating can be an incredible way to help build relationships that are truly Christ-centered.
But for that to be the case, two things need to change.
First, Christian singles need to start using dating apps that are built on biblical principles.
Single ministry leaders and pastors need to help steer singles to perform or to platforms that are Christian-led and that take a provocative approach to both physical and spiritual safety of its users.
So, again, this is them saying, use God to get women to stop being whores, right?
Does that work?
Have you guys dealt with a Christian, a Christian woman?
How has that gone for you?
Have they been of higher quality?
When I start hearing the men saying the Christian women are of higher quality in great droves, when the men say the best way to find a wife is church, when I start seeing that, maybe I'll believe it.
But as of now, I don't see any evidence that there's like a buffer.
Okay.
Secondly, we need to do a better job as a church in educating singles about the hidden dangers of online dating.
With simple education and knowledge, Christian singles can be made more aware of potential risks of online dating and how to avoid any situations that could be harmful to others.
Okay.
So if you guys have a question, comment, or concern, make sure you either super chat or you go to the website and you get unlimited super chats there.
It's on the app store.
You just download the app, get the monthly or yearly membership, and then, yeah, and then you just put Pearl Reed.
Okay.
You are once again dead on love it.
So sick of the simp world and all of its expectations.
I'm a Christian and would not touch Christianity 304 with a 10-foot pool.
I know it's even worse because at least you guys have the luxury of not knowing what your girls did in the past.
I know you all think you know, but you'll never really know, right?
We have way too much incentive to lie.
And so at least this way, if I'm being honest, you know, you can at least live in peace.
Like, you know, when you guys cheat and you like cheat, like, we don't know, and at least, at least we're happy and you guys cheat in peace and the women hide their dirt in peace.
But the Christian guys have to have the women talk about being whores in the form of testimony.
Oh, how do you guys get suckered into this?
So they have to give a testimony about being a whore.
So yeah.
Anyways, that's even worse.
At least the secular men don't have to go through a humiliation ritual.
All for a girl with a Jesus cross necklace.
Did you have a boxing match with Destiny?
No, I didn't.
Let's see.
I have come to believe that faith alone theology leads to the popularization of the cremation of care.
Joe Will says, I was also raised in the Catholic schools.
My wife is Anglican and she knows I don't care about her religion because I have been beasted by the beast.
Okay.
Curveball said, I've never wanted to risk getting an STD from an ugly skank.
Am I the only one?
Have you guys risked it?
I've seen a lot.
All right, Doug MPA says Mormon girls are the biggest whores when they get away from their families and most of them want to rebel by sleeping with a black guy.
Don't ask me how I know.
I'm happy for you, Doug MPA.
Okay.
Let me look on the other place.
Okay.
So now we're going back.
Here is a Christian couple talking about their experience on dating apps.
So let's go here.
All right.
So she's got the hoop earrings.
So I wouldn't put the former hoe past pastor.
What do you guys think?
Former hoe or no?
My name is Sam.
I'm Tadie.
So in today's video, we are going to talk about if dating apps are a good idea for Christians.
I'm going to give my nightmare stories.
If dating apps are a good idea, which dating apps should you choose?
Okay, so I never use dating apps personally.
So I spend my time in preparing for this video looking at statistics because I already counted and looked at numbers.
What I found was in 2022, there was a study done, and out of all the dating apps, out of everyone that uses the dating apps, only 12% of the people on the apps actually find love and get married to the people.
And that wasn't a study for the Christian people.
Well, people aren't really getting married altogether.
Do you know what I mean?
This guy is softer than her.
I know that's how you can tell in a relationship is who talks first.
You know, when people ask the couples a question, does she look to him or does he look to her?
That's who runs the relationship.
So I would imagine That that was a ton lower when you said just imagine how many fewer people because there are not a whole lot of Christians on said dating apps, I can tell you.
I was never against dating apps for other people, but for me, it just wasn't.
If you want to date a former sex, drug, and gambling addict, go to church, just like Russell Brandt.
What I wanted to do.
And I was getting, I know, I mean, there's too much incentive.
Like, all you have to do is dunk your head in water, and then you're free of all everything bad you've ever done, and nobody can judge you for it.
And if they do judge you for it, they're not real Christians.
I mean, that sounds like an awesome place.
I can literally do anything, and they have to like me.
Pig, so I will tell you guys a little bit about my own nightmare experience on these dating apps.
So, probably when I think of horror stories on Jacob, the bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe.
Well, she doesn't have too big of a hoop.
Dating apps, I think of one specific example.
So, that one example involved me meeting someone and they claim to be a Christian.
And so, you know, we talk a little bit.
Then we ended up planning to go to the beach.
They said the biggest red flag in a woman is finding God late in life.
When is too late?
When is it too late for a woman to find God?
Could you make a poll in the chat?
Is it too late?
Let's do 20.
Is that too late?
Let's do 25.
Let's do 30 and 35 plus.
Just going to walk and talk and just kind of get to know each other that way.
And so we ended up walking down the beach for probably about, you know, a mile or Joe Will says he's a simp.
Well, but this is the archetype, right?
Like a guy like this.
Let's say this girl threw back in college, but she is cute enough.
I mean, do you guys really not?
I mean, was she really a virgin?
She did nothing.
I don't really.
And she I'd have to see what age they got married, but I'm going to be the cynic.
He's not going to, he's not going to be smart enough to figure that out in general, my opinion.
So, and you know, Doug MPA says the final stop on the horror train is church.
Seemed like things were going okay.
Then she starts cussing.
And for those of you in the north, she starts cursing.
And so we're walking down the beach, and I'm already like, oh dear, this is not good.
This person already is not who.
Wait, not find love.
I said, God.
Yeah, God.
They represented themselves to be.
And then I start talking about God.
And, you know, this person, she's got kind of these like vague views about God.
And I kind of more and more, the more questions that I ask, the more I'm like, you know, this girl doesn't really believe the kind of things that I believe.
And then I start mentioning Jesus, not just kind of like this vague, you know, like God.
And then she starts talking about, because I asked her, you know, what kind of relationship do you have with God?
What kind of relationship do you have with Jesus?
And she looks at me and she says something.
I mean, It's almost meme worthy, but she looks at me and she's like, Yeah, I uh I don't really do anything related to God other than like maybe if I really like need to, like, some like sometimes I just talk to God when I'm in really big trouble, and then like you know, otherwise, I don't really do anything.
Like, basically, he's like my personal like help genie or whatever.
And she did not like say it like it was a joke or like it was a bad thing.
She was like, This is a perfectly normal thing.
Oh, this was this is the craziest thing.
The craziest thing was, I asked her, you know, like Tommy Lauren doesn't like holding women accountable.
Nope, and you can kind of tell the way he talks, he's a bit feminine, right?
And I'm telling you, that's like the archetype of dudes in church.
I mean, there's some how many church guys have the balls to tell their like, does this guy have the balls to tell her to shut the fuck up?
That's my that's my litmus litmus.
What do I say?
Lit litmus litmus test.
Because if you don't have the balls to tell her no, then you're basically a woman.
And I understand why men are afraid to tell women no.
I mean, we're pretty like we can go to pretty extreme lengths when we don't get what we want.
I understand it, but I would just advise you: if you can't tell her no, I would just be by yourself because either she's insane and that like I don't think you might have to learn that skill and maybe come back in a few years.
Jesus Christ, your Lord and Savior, because at this point, I'm like questioning every single aspect of you know this girl's faith.
And so she okay, so the way, guys, vote in the poll that while she may not be perfect, that the idea of her is perfect, and so she does not actually need a savior.
Wow.
And at that point, I looked at her and I said, I do not believe that we're worshiping the same God.
And she was so mad that she legitimately told me to get away from her.
We had like a mile walk back.
And so she tells me, I want you to be like 30 yards that way.
And so we're literally just on like other sides of the beach, just like walking back.
And she, I mean, yeah, she was just like, she booked it basically to the parking lot.
I want to know what college this woman went to.
What college were you at?
Better have been small.
I just remembered being like, wow, like this is really Pearl.
You're not talking about actual Christians.
don't put up with disrespectful behavior from women see this is again this is again this is what you guys do This is why you guys drive me nuts.
You guys think that you somehow your religion is a buffer for human behavior.
Whenever you get a group of guys, about half of them are afraid of women.
About half.
Okay.
That does, it doesn't matter what group you go to.
The difference is what the Christians do is you get to get out of it.
That's why the reason it's worse in church is you get the get out of jail free card.
And they some they have so much ego in thinking that their religion's a buffer to these behaviors that they fall for anything.
And if they and even if they do get caught, they just got to dunk their head again, say sorry, and boom back at it.
I mean, that's that's how this happens.
That's it's like a circle, right?
Really, really not working out.
And then, and then whenever I say, okay, well, that guy did this, you guys have the same thing.
You guys think that you get to determine who's a real Christian and who's not.
What are now you're God?
Now you're Jesus Christ himself now to you.
No.
Okay.
People are people.
And that's a do you know what?
Whenever something crazy, my dad, I grew up Catholic, right?
And whenever something crazy I would find out about, I'd be like, Dad, can you believe this person did that?
And do you know what he would say?
He would say, I'm not surprised.
People are people.
Yeah.
The whole dating app thing.
So would you say for a Christian like Pearl?
You're really good at criticizing the current state Western church.
You got a super chat, okay?
I can't believe you guys are asking me these questions for free.
I'm going to answer it.
Pearl, you're really good at criticizing the current state in Western churches, like Catholics and Protestants.
What do you think will fill the void?
Are we all going to hell?
I don't think everyone's going to hell, but I think every generation has a different set of problems.
And I don't think God's going to fix these.
I think the birth rate's going to go down.
If you have kids, they probably won't have kids.
If they do have kids, it's like one or two.
And, you know, and you got to figure it out for yourself, but most people won't.
It's worth it to try on there, or is it just like so rare?
All right, ladies, you got to tell 35 to find God for 41% of men.
You got, you got, although 23% think you're too far gone by 20, 20% say 25, 16% say 30.
So, first off, there are examples of people finding love on dating apps.
I know that Paul and Morgan actually met, I believe.
Yeah, see, again, this is where we're going back to.
Christian women can't help but use their relationship and family for clout.
They can't help it.
It's like asking a Christian woman to keep her family private would be, I'm trying to think of the equivalent.
It would be like me putting a steak in front of my dog Ellie and telling her not to eat it.
Won't ever happen.
Never.
On Tinder of all places.
And I'm going to talk a little bit about Tinder and the kind of the image that that has.
Obviously, I did not use Tinder the way that a lot of people use Tinder.
And then Nathan Sutton, also.
Yeah, and then Nathan Sutton kind of indirectly met on there.
In order to really answer your question, first we need to talk about the dangers of these dating apps before you can actually get into, you know, which dating apps or, you know, if any dating apps at all are worth your time.
For me, I feel like using dating apps, you kind of get very now.
Is she hot enough?
I guess she's got the long hair, good enough face.
She's hot enough to get around the dating apps.
Now, she probably was, anyways, five years ago.
She was back.
But, or maybe socially calibrated.
She look the mids, you got to get on.
Sorry, ladies.
You're just, if you're not hot enough, the men aren't approaching you in real life.
It might be time to download an app or start approaching yourself.
The men are done with RBS.
Do you know what I mean?
Very, very invested in the idea of it.
Oh, she's not a three.
Show me your girlfriend then.
Show me the girl you're best.
Look, I'm all for rating women, but that's not a three.
Okay, that's she's like a five.
When she was young, she's probably a six.
She's like five.
She's got nice hair.
If it's real, I'll give her a six.
Okay, 5.5, 6.
That's like her rating.
Kind of becomes a game on your phone in a way.
Does that make sense?
Oh, yeah.
So I feel like you're kind of you're oh, she's not a 4.5.
She will be in 10 years though.
Yeah.
Replacing the need to go out and meet people with the idea.
I didn't say an eight.
They said she's a mid.
What is a five?
That you're going to meet someone online and just the kind of like gambling, the what if, like, oh my goodness, what if I do meet someone on here?
So you spend so much time swiping, swiping, swiping, and you're wasting time where you could be going out, going to small groups, visiting churches, having your friends, you know, introduce you to people if they know people.
For dating apps, just like at a casino, the goal for these companies that make the dating apps is not for you to get off of the dating apps because guess how they make money by keeping you single.
If you are not single, if you are in a relationship, unless you're a horrible person, you will get off of the dating apps.
So why would they ever be incentivized to help you actually find the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with?
Another aspect.
Yeah, you're not going to find someone that you're going to spend the rest of your life with.
Maybe the next decade.
Occasionally, some of you will get lucky.
But just odds are, do you know what I mean?
Can we just be realistic here?
Can we just be we're on a subscription model, unfortunately?
Like, I didn't create this society, but I'm just being realistic.
I even see like people in their 50s and 60s getting divorced nowadays.
John says, having grown up in the church, I can tell you there's no difference between the world and the church, which is a shame.
They use that Twinkie as much as non-Christians to get their way.
Yeah, the number one rated reason for people leaving the church is hypocrisy because it's what they do is they sell you a dream and they sell you a dream that this church is special and different.
It's not.
That I think is troubling for Christians is the level of temptation that you have when you get on the apps.
Girls are obviously posting their, they're putting their best foot forward, which is not really their best foot.
It's not always their foot.
Yeah.
So typically, sometimes, not all the time.
Yeah.
So now, this is what the Christian guys don't understand.
If you're going on a date with a woman, you should want her to dress a little slutty with you.
Like, if she's covering up, I'm going to be, that's not a good sign, fellas.
No, like, okay, if a girl's what she's trying to do, if she's like covering up, is she's trying to sell purity.
And so she views you as the provider, like long-term guy.
Like, so you have to understand what women, like the way we dress up, it's not really based on our morals, right?
You gotta, we gotta stop acting like we have morals.
It's based on what we're trying to sell, right?
So there's women that dress like complete sluts that maybe aren't, they don't have a high body count, but they like to get the resources.
Like our whole nature is just deceiving men.
So at least if she's at least if she's getting naked, you know, sex is on the tape or might be on the table.
You don't know, right?
But I don't, I generally think, like, if a girl's going on a date and she's, you know, dressing a, she doesn't have to, it doesn't be crazy, but showing a little more skin.
She's trying to be sexual with you.
I mean, isn't that what you guys, I know the Christian guys, they get bamboozled.
This is how this is, this is how they get them because the women, they never, you'll notice that the Christian guys, they never knew their wives in college ever, ever.
It's like very convenient, right?
So the women can come in and just say, oh, I did nothing.
And the guys, you know, look at his face.
He's just going to believe it.
He's going to eat that right up, right?
And so what happens is then the women see them as like a provider long term.
Not necessarily a bad thing.
But the thing is, if she's using sex in the beginning against you to get what she wants, there's a reason that the married Christian women or husbands are the ones that like that are buying the OnlyFans.
It's because they're teaching women to weaponize sex to get what they want, right?
Like, do you know what's crazy?
My mother, she told me in her high school, she had like two people that had a shotgun wedding, you know, like two, two in her high school, they got teen pregnancy, right?
Guess who's still together to this day?
Both of them.
And the nuts.
Like, wouldn't it make, wouldn't you rather, as a guy, be the guy that she does it with on the first day, or at least sooner than she normally would.
And it's not really a big deal as long as she doesn't leave.
It's like the leaving that does it, right?
Anyway, so Christian women, they have a tendency to live in like fear.
They're always, they want to be in control.
And what they view, they view religion as a way to absolve them from like a burden of performance as a woman.
And also from, they use it to absolve them of anything going wrong.
So if I just wait till marriage, you'll never leave me.
That's a pretty good deal, right?
I don't, I, all I have to do is not have sex and do the bare minimum to get in the door.
I don't have to try to be better in bed.
I don't have to try to be a good cook.
All I have to do is not have sex and you will never leave.
That's a pretty good, it absolves her of a burden of competition, right?
And if as long as I just wait to have the sex, then nothing can go wrong.
And so a lot of conservative women, what you get is they're very like in fear of what could go wrong and they're very controlling.
Now, liberal women, I, you know, the reason I go in so hard on the conservative, I just know them really well.
This is what I grew up around.
Now, liberal women have their own set of problems, but I don't really hang out with them too much.
Girls will post themselves in very immodest clothing and guys will, you know, do the same.
They'll be shirtless on the beach with a beer in their hand or something.
Pearl Reed, I was raised in a Plymouth church or Plymouth Brethren church where women didn't speak during the service and wore mostly head coverings.
And yet I still saw a woman divorce her husband for an old guy.
Yeah, again, it's nobody likes the uncomfortable truth of the burden of performance, right?
And the uncomfortable truth is that women, we're going to get old and ugly, and the men are going to want to have sex with the young women.
And you're going to have to figure out how to keep him from doing that for a lifetime.
And if he can get away with it, he's probably going to do it.
That's an uncomfortable truth where you have to be so nice to him that he doesn't wander.
On the other hand, men, the burden of performance is if she can do better, she's going to do it.
So you got to figure out how to be the best that she can do.
Nobody likes these burdens of performance, right?
They kind of suck.
So we both, we both try to kind of get out of it, right?
Where the men, they're like, I want this virgin wife who will just never leave.
If she's just a virgin and young, she'll never leave me.
Boy, boy, boy.
They'll do the same shit.
Same shit, different day, right?
Where the women will say, Well, if I just get this nice church guy, then I'll be in love with him forever.
And that's what they do.
They do their, we do our rationalization where we convince ourselves we love him.
Um, and we might for a little bit, the way we like feel at the time, but then you know, you know, we think the Jesus Cross posting is good enough instead of being a good wife.
She says, I bet she'll have a list for him, anyways.
I'll read this.
Um, uh, let me see.
She's unattractive because of her attitude and the way she holds herself.
If we take that away, she's maybe a five or a six because she's boring, they're saying, Okay, let's see what else we got.
Look at the men are kind of generous, they give us till 35 to find God.
Maybe I could be a born-again virgin next year.
I'll tell my boyfriend.
Oh, God, he would never.
The story of Adam and Eve is about showing discipline with new knowledge.
Like, children, we cannot discipline ourselves on a dating app.
So, damn, I'm going to shag all my matches.
You might as well like get this.
Is the thing the only place you know?
Men are the only creatures on this planet that they can convince them to do something that they get nothing out of.
Like, men are the ones who will take a job that they get nothing out of.
Women, we'll quit that job tomorrow and go follow our like passion, right?
We'll just be like, ah, I mean, even me, I was in a sales job and I said, No, I'm gonna be a YouTuber, and somehow it worked out.
I don't know how, but it really did.
Women, don't follow my path.
It probably won't for you.
But if you want to learn how to do it, I do have it behind my paywall on my website.
It's going to be everything you need to know about doing it is on there.
But anyways, men with marriage, like they'll get a wife that looks like this, and yeah, she's cute, and they'll get sex once a month, sometimes less.
They'll get like one kid that hates them because the mom's always in her ear, and they're like, This is enough for me, and but they don't ever think, I don't know what it is.
Men are just better creatures, and they have this duty thing.
I get it, I get it, but sometimes I wish they had less of that because they create-I mean, it's not really their fault to be fair, but it adds to the problem, right?
It just doesn't give the best impression, but I think that it kind of opens up a level of temptation, in my opinion, because you're able to look at people all day less than once a month.
I talked to guys that would get it like once a year, some multiple years, and they didn't even cheat.
It's like at that point, you might as well start cheating.
You're able to look at what they look like, you're able to meet up with them if you want to, if you want to just dip your toe in the water.
And I just think that is something if you're struggling with that on dating apps, flee from that, get away from that.
God is not going to bless you.
I don't think if you're doing that, the Bible literally tells us that if Satan were to show up at your driveway, basically, if he was to show up anywhere, that you're supposed to stand strong, that you're supposed to stand in the armor of God, that you're supposed to face him.
But when the Bible talks about sexual temptation, it says flee.
It says literally run away from there because our bodies, we were designed for, you know, sexual attraction and only in the context of marriage.
And so when you see girls on a dating app, or if you're a woman, if you see guys on a dating app and you struggle with pornography, like I used to struggle with pornography, that kind of thing, it's like a gateway, even if you've never had that.
Yeah, so here's the problem.
So how does a guy have leverage?
Now she's got 100% control of sex.
If she's being a bitch, he has to appease her because he can't even go watch corn.
He can't even, it's like they just want men to take L's.
Then the other thing is they say that sexual attraction isn't important.
And then they wonder, like, this is how the, when you start thinking about it, it's so obvious how Christian married men are the number one ones buying OnlyFans.
And I've talked to the OnlyFans models.
They'll tell you this.
You guys are targets.
And it's because they just shame the male sex drive.
That's really what they do.
Because they want the woman to be in control of the male sex drive.
Can you imagine being so cucked you can't even watch corn in your own house?
And, like, you have to sleep with her even if she's being a, yeah, a bitch.
Before, it just, it triggers something that you are.
She's trying, she's starting to reveal her list.
Curveballs, expand on that.
Not supposed to have triggered, and it can make it so that you either relapse or it could be a gateway into something way more.
And since you're in the privacy of your own home or wherever, like she was saying, you Fazelle says my religion promises 72 virgins.
I said, keep them for yourself.
I'm good with the Mormons and white chicks I smash in real life.
I don't wait for heaven.
I live like a god now.
You can stare as long as you want, because out on the street, you can't just go, you know, staring down somebody that might be dressed immodestly.
I also think that unhealthy behaviors do develop when you're having people of the opposite sex just affirm you and compliment you all the time.
I think that that can become addicting.
Oh, yeah.
Self-esteem can be based in that.
And I just don't think that that is a, I don't think it's healthy.
Oh, 100%.
And it, you know, the last point that I was going to make before we start talking about the individual apps is that it is such a burden on your self-esteem.
It becomes such an addiction.
It becomes such a part of your life.
Almost just like a social media.
Imagine what social media does to you because a lot of people feel like Instagram or Facebook or whatever like kind of ruins your life.
Imagine that, except the only way that somebody follows you is if they find you physically attractive or think that you could be a potential mate.
Yeah.
God, they just want men to get cucked.
Like, I swear to God.
You factor that in.
Imagine how much more depressing it gets.
Do you know why your wife defines you hot?
i don't know why isn't that kind of the bare minimum right You think that, wow, okay, so nobody really wants to spend the rest of their life with me.
No one values me in that way.
Your self-esteem gets tied up in it.
Next thing you know, you're getting notifications on your phone and you're literally like, you have to stop whatever else you're doing because that just becomes such an idol in your life.
So now that we've discussed some of the dangers of being on dating apps, I'm going to just give a brief rundown of my experience on these dating apps to tell you which ones are the ones that if you are going to, if you're like, listen, Sam, Sadie, like, I know that you guys are warning me, but my mind is set or my heart is set.
Like, I'm going to do this.
I'm going to just tell you which ones you should actually bother trying.
First of all, I will talk about Tinder.
Now, Tinder gets a really, really bad rap and everybody will tell you, oh, it's just a hookup app.
It's just a hookup app.
And while absolutely it is predominantly a hookup app, there are some.
I actually know a decent amount of couples that met on Tinder.
I'm not saying do it or don't do it.
Recently, I've heard a decent amount of couples.
Scenarios.
I don't know how they started, right?
Maybe it started that way.
I don't know.
Where it actually has worked out for people.
The reason that I will absolutely never recommend Tinder to anyone is because the temptation to do something other than what you set out to do as a Christian on Tinder is way too strong.
What's different between Tinder and the others?
Okay.
What's actually in just the creation of the app?
What's different?
Well, Tinder is much more about like, for example.
Pearl, please make the simp stop.
I can't.
I can't.
No, okay, do you know what?
They can't help it.
They like men just have to go through it.
They have to.
Some men are naturals, that's not most.
I mean, the same way women.
I mean, we got to get our ego killed at some point.
I mean, they make the pictures way bigger than any kind of bio or anything like that.
They're way less, like, you don't have to put in nearly as much information.
There's way more like ability to remain anonymous.
Way more shallow-minded.
Way more, it's way more shallow-minded for sure.
Part of the reason that I even tried it in the first place is because so many people are on the app that it keeps you thinking.
And by the way, guys, we're going to do a call-in later.
So we're going to.
I want to know your experience if you've ever done Christian dating apps and what's that been like.
Thinking that there is the possibility that somebody eventually that is the right person is going to show up.
It never happens.
Just a spoiler alert.
But there is so much temptation if you're a Christian that I would stay very far away from Tinder.
Kind of the two, you know, really big names when it comes to dating apps.
Bumble is a lot better than Tinder as far as people that are actually serious about finding a relationship, I think.
Typically, from what I have found, at least from the men's perspective, is they're usually more like mid-20s kind of women that already kind of have a career figured out, that are trying to kind of settle down.
So it's a lot more conservative.
It's still horrible and it will still end up leaving you probably feeling really, really messed up.
The catch for Bumble that's different than any other dating app is that the woman.
Yes, the woman has to send the first message.
Which becomes dangerous for guys, I think, because you're going to be consuming that and your ego is just going to be amazing.
Except that that's not what happens.
Unless your DMs are just dry.
Oh, yeah.
She's so out of touch.
There you go, guys.
Well, I'll tell you right now that what generally happens, and I've known multiple guys that have been on Bumble, is that girls will match just to get their self-esteem up.
And then they just never send a message.
And that happens about probably 90% of the time.
Bumble is definitely a better option than Tinder, but even still, I would not give it a very high rating at all.
The next one that we're going to talk about is Hinge.
I've heard the best things from Hinge the last couple years.
Hinge is probably the closest to an actual social media app that it could possibly get to because they will give you a bunch of prompts and then they'll give you a bunch of pictures.
They'll go through and say, you know, hey, do you drink?
Do you smoke?
What are your beliefs?
They'll give you an option to say, I'm a Christian.
See, this is where the dating apps get wrong.
You're like, you think you can get to women's beliefs by asking them?
You don't understand women.
You know.
We just say things.
We don't even know what we believe.
We believe one thing one day and one another.
It's like, I'm looking for a woman with morals.
So you want a man.
So you're gay.
Like, you basically want a guy.
Oh, I'm Buddhist.
I'm whatever.
So you can really know what you're getting yourself into.
Now, I have to think about this, okay?
Would most women, about 500 years ago in like Greece or something, your choice as a woman, you basically had to be a sex slave or go work in like the heat in Egypt.
It was some outdoor job for years, right?
Terrible, gruesome job.
Do you think most women in that situation would just go be the sex slave?
Freaking, we all would.
Rather than work a grueling job for like 50 years.
I mean, it wouldn't be my first choice.
But in that situation, when you think about it like that, women have situational morals.
I mean, at some point in history, women literally got killed by one guy and had to go fall in love with the next, otherwise, we die.
This is what we had to do historically.
Okay.
We were in our tribe.
We were hanging out.
We were in love with our husband.
We're like, this is amazing.
What a great life.
I'm like TKT keying it or whatever.
Then one guy comes in and says, I want this land.
And your guy says, no, you can't have this land.
And he said, too bad.
Boom.
He gets your husband's dead.
And then now you have to sleep with the new guy and love him and be loyal to him and watch him kill your children.
And we had to do it.
We literally had to do it.
Otherwise, we died.
And you want a woman with morals.
Oh, that's hilarious.
Before you end up making a decision, the thing with Hinge that makes it better to me than a lot of the other apps out there is that they'll give you prompts and you're able to actually react to a person's prompts rather than just say, okay, I'm just going to swipe through this person's pictures.
So they might ask a question and then you can reply to that question.
And then depending on how you reply to that question, they can decide, okay, do I want to contact this person back?
I think it inspires a lot more actual thoughtful conversation and it's a lot more like meeting on an Instagram rather than actually meeting on an actual dating app.
I would say that probably the least horrible people that I have met during my time on dating apps were on Hinge and, you know, obviously none of it worked out, but it was a much more positive experience feeling like, yeah, like, okay, I met a person that was a nice person.
Like, it didn't work out, but like, it was a nice person.
And it wasn't like a horrible, horrible experience.
So you would say, out of all of these, Hinge is the best one because you have people going out there with the right intentions for the most part.
There's still, obviously, it's never going to be 100%, but compared to Bumble and Tender, Hinge is the best.
To me, I believe that it, and I won't say it's the best yet because I have one more app that I want to talk about, but Hinge is definitely the least dating app-y experience that you could get.
It's a very, very good, I think, starting point if you are going to try a dating app.
I do not recommend that you do, just for the record, but if you are insisting that you're going to try one, I would probably try Hinge first.
So, the final dating app that we're going to talk about is an app called Upward.
Now, there are a pretty decent amount of Christian dating apps out there, and to be honest, I think that they pretty much all stink.
And part of the reason for that is because there is, number one, a very, very low number of people actually on those apps.
So, if you did actually see someone that you think there might could be a connection with, they're probably about a thousand miles away.
What about Christian Mingle?
Christian Mingle is seeing the positive advertisements on TV.
What about Christian Mingle?
Oh man, I love advertisements on TV.
They're always very truthful and accurate.
So, that's probably a doozy too.
I have no idea, honestly.
Christian Mingle is much more like advertised towards people that are out of our not even middle-aged, just you know, older.
Yeah, I'm getting brother-sister vibes.
Yeah.
I mean, that's what you get if you want a brother-sister vibe for a marriage.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Okay, so next we're going to talk about a girl talking about how she met her husband on a Christian dating app.
This is an opportunist.
Christian men are like the most vulnerable group.
Here we go.
I actually met my husband on a Christian dating app.
I used to be so against dating apps.
I wanted the typical rom-com story.
Girl meets a guy.
I wanted a beautiful story to share to family and friends of how I met my husband.
I felt that going on a dating app just made me look desperate.
So I just didn't want to try any kind of dating apps until a family friend sat me down and explained a couple of things to me that just made a lot of sense.
She said, when you're in high school, your pool of people to choose from or to date, it's your classmates, it's the students.
When you're in college, your pool expands.
So, you know, it's thousands and thousands of students in college.
But as you get older, your pool starts to get smaller and smaller.
Maybe your pool is in church.
Maybe your pool becomes your workplace.
As you get older, your pool begins to get smaller and smaller.
So where do you go to meet other people your age that are single?
You have to go where other singles your age are at.
And in my case, I was in my early 30s.
And she said, for you, they're online.
And so that just made sense, right?
I mean, it's nothing new, but it did make sense.
So I tried several Christian dating apps, but there was one that I really liked.
And this one made me feel safe.
And I was on and off, you know, for about seven months until the end of April.
I got a message from someone named Matt.
We messaged for several days.
By day five, we had our first phone call.
Two months after that, we met for the first time in person.
Three months after that, he proposed.
God.
Two months after that, we got married.
You guys can't even wait like six months.
God, these guys are desperate.
Next week, three years of marriage.
We celebrate three years of marriage.
Now, I know there are some gross people online on dating apps, even Christian dating apps.
There are some good men too.
Oh, and then.
Yeah, when I'm gonna call you a good man, I got bad news for you fellas.
I got bad news for you.
I hate to say it, but that basically means she sees you as a brother.
Dating app that I used, it's called holy.
Oh, yeah.
Poor Christian guys, they just become targets.
We're gonna do a call-in in a little bit.
I have two more TikToks to watch or two more videos.
So then after that, we're gonna do a call-in.
Okay.
I want you to think about before getting on the dating apps.
Number one.
Wait, hold up me.
Okay.
Five things I want you to think about before getting on the dating apps.
Number one, you still in a place or a season where you are surrounded by singles.
Opportunities to meet people.
So easy to want to get on the dating apps because we're lonely.
In a season where you're 22 and you're surrounded by all these people at your church or where you're going about, don't need a dating app.
Point of the dating app is to find people because you're in an environment where there's no longer people to date.
Get plugged into a church, find a hobby where you know young adults are and chase after it.
Number two, if you got rejected by the boy you went on the date with from the apps, would your worth be shattered?
Do not get on the apps until you are secure enough in who the Lord says about you so that even if this boy is like, I don't want to date you again, you're not swayed.
You're not affected because your worth is not going up and down based on what he thinks about you.
Number three, invite your closest people in.
Invite community in and ask them to speak in.
You are not smart when it comes to wanting to date someone.
They might be able to point out blind spots that you're not aware of.
Ask people to say, am I spiritually, emotionally, and mentally able to handle the apps?
Trust their wisdom.
Yeah, okay.
So this is you got a woman trying to date like a teenager as an adult.
When you bring in the community and stuff, that's cool if you're below.
You guys got till the end of college to do that.
But after then, you got to think for yourself, date for your, I mean, you can do what you want.
I just guys aren't really going to go for that.
John says, Pearl in New York verbal abuse is illegal.
So the best of luck enforcing boundaries as emotional abuse can mean anything for the bull poll.
Around 25, women are looking to sell.
Number four, pray about it.
Y'all, I literally did not get on the apps until, gosh, like a month and a half ago.
And I legitimately was on the apps for one month and I went on three dates, but I prayed about that for a while and I never felt like the Lord said yes.
And finally, I felt like he gave me the green light, went on a few dates, and it was fine.
But I was like, man, even if you don't like me, whatever.
Also, I went on the apps when I was feeling the least confident in my body because I was wanting to challenge myself and be like, I'm going to go on these dates and I'm going to be me.
Going to pretend to be something that I'm not.
I'm not going to arrive before I can date.
I'm going in confident in who the Lord says about me, not on the way that I look.
Number five, do not get on the dating apps.
If you are looking for validation or you're insecure, you go into a relationship insecure.
You're going to be in a relationship insecure.
No man, no relationship, no date will fix the God-shaped hole in your heart.
Your security and confidence comes from the Lord.
It will never be satisfied, even if you date the godliest, cutest guy on the dating apps.
Dating apps, yes or no, be free.
Okay.
Next, we got Quish.
Should Christians be on dating apps?
All right.
Now, we're going to put the Zoom in the chat and then you guys can call in before I watch this.
But so if you guys have an experience with Christian, like being a Christian on dating apps or anything like that, feel free to call in.
Oh my gosh.
Go about it.
Personally, I see dating apps.
Christians be on dating apps?
Let's talk about it.
Personally, I see dating apps almost as like having an Instagram account or any other social media platform.
We use the internet every day to connect with lots of different people.
And dating apps, I think, can be a great way to connect with people that are also looking for the same things that you're looking for.
Dating, a relationship, future spouse, whatever.
I don't think being on a dating app has anything to do with if you're a man of God or a woman of God or not.
It all comes down to your heart.
Ultimately, we should be inviting the Holy Spirit into our dating process and asking ourselves, okay, am I on this app because I'm bored, because I'm lonely, to fill a void, to pass the time?
But if not, and you're genuinely just wanting to find your person, then I think dating apps could be a great tool.
I've heard so many success stories of amazing, godly couples that have connected through a dating app.
So she had a good experience, I guess.
You cope since I went to the beach on a day, no one would be there.
It was 9 a.m. and I went to sleep.
At 10 a.m., I wake up and there are three women within six of me, six feet of me.
Beach was empty.
One of them I spoke to in seven months.
Okay.
Doug MPA.
How's it going?
What was your experience on dating apps with Christian women?
Go ahead.
I don't know.
You're.
Your mic sounds a little weird today.
Hold on, one second.
Is that us or him?
It's gotta be him.
Let me bring on the next person.
Or let me try again.
It just sounds really weird to me.
I don't know if it's my headphones or if it's him.
Let's bring in one more person and see if their mic is any better.
Okay.
Rob, how's it going?
And we can put him on screen.
If you guys don't want to be on screen today, then call and do a different show.
I don't know what to tell you.
Also, guys, please get to the point with your stories.
Please don't draw down for like 10 minutes.
Like, just, you know, I try to be like, I'm trying to be accommodating here, but, you know, I like when we get to it, you know.
Okay.
Seems like Rob's having issues.
Just go to the next one and then, okay.
Edward, can you turn your camera on for me, please?
I guess not.
We'll move on to the next one.
Try Doug MPA again.
Okay.
Doug MPA?
Is this better?
Oh, way better.
Okay, yeah.
Something going on with my microphone.
So here's the thing about: I've recent history with women that are Christian on dating apps.
Women, by the time they're in their mid-30s, they're set in their ways, and you can see that their religion is one of the reasons why they're keeping them single.
I met this Orthodox Christian Ethiopian girl.
She was born in America, but she's culturally Ethiopian.
And she was now, guys, I'm in my mid-40s.
Okay.
She was in her mid-30s, like 35, and she went to church on Thursdays, Saturdays, Sundays, and went to Bible study on Monday.
Right now, she's 35, had some BAS degree in something that wasn't going to make her any money.
And she fully expected to find a man to let her stay at home with children at 35.
And then she expected the man to join her church because it was very important to her.
So the man she was with would have to join her church, and she's 35 and put her in a position to stay home and raise children.
First off, I don't have any kids, I don't want them.
So we were automatically not compatible.
But that's the experience of a lot of super religious women in their 30s.
They have this expectation that you have to join their church, their religion, and the way that they see this whole God thing.
Well, it's super crazy because it's like Christian women don't think they have to do any work other than go to church.
So she didn't have to get married and have kids to be a religious woman.
She just had to show up to church and read her Bible.
Like, that's kind of the bare minimum.
Do you know what I mean?
That's not really difficult to do.
Yeah, I asked her that.
I said, if you're so dedicated to your church, how are you single?
What'd she say?
She had no answer.
No real answer.
She knows I had to travel.
I had school, all this stuff, but it's just like now you value-I don't know.
She didn't have a good answer for it, but she's holding every man she meets now to this highest standard.
Yeah, they always think they can get what they got, they could have got when they were 20.
Could you bring Dustin in?
Let's see what he has to say.
Or, and then, you know, I've been black on this planet for over 40 years.
In the black community, a lot of black women are married to Jesus.
Jesus is their man, and no man in real life will ever measure up to him.
Brutal.
Sad.
Hey, Dustin, would you mind putting the phone down so we can get like maybe sit at a desk or something?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, sorry.
It's all right.
It just makes the content a little better.
Yeah.
So, are you Christian?
No, I'm actually Jewish, but I will be Christian on those apps.
I tell you what.
Let's go.
That was so funny.
Okay.
So, what's your experience dating Christian women on the apps?
There was, I downloaded that Upward, and I like how that guy's like on Hinge.
You can react.
Like, if you weren't on Hinge, you wouldn't be reacting to what anyone says.
But I met a girl on Upward, and she was this really beautiful Ukrainian Orthodox chick.
And she, like, I started hanging out with her and her kids, and I thought it was going somewhere.
And, like, I was trying to be a good guy.
And because I see her kids, yeah, yeah, and uh, you know, they okay, like if you're ever on a dry street, single moms, that's where you head, that's where you go.
And uh, this is that all figured out, man.
I like this guy.
I write down my schemes in a little book and I see if they work.
And um, so this everything was good, and I was like, Oh, I could see myself with this lady.
And uh, the problem with Christian women is that they say things like, I want a man to lead me, I want this, but they don't want a man to lead them, they want a man to lead them in the way that they want the guy to lead them, so they really just want to be in control, and um, they kind of you they really use the Bible, like, oh, the Bible says this, so you can't do this, and um, they pretend like they're gonna withhold sex from you,
and then like the moment a Christian chick says, I'm waiting till marriage, you're like, you know, you're gonna get it on like the third date, like it's just this is how it goes.
And I did, we did like I slept with her, and then all of a sudden, all these crazy, uh, uh, what do you call them?
Like, crazy rules came into play that I had to meet, and I was kind of like, Whoa, like, what happened the past three months?
Like, I was just taking care of stuff, and you had no issue, but then it was like, What were some of the rules?
Oh, the one she broke up with me for was because I got a Christmas tree.
I got like, because I have a three-year-old daughter, and I'm all about making memories.
And uh, so I got a Christmas tree that was like three feet tall, and she was like, Well, that's a golden calf.
And I was like, What is freaking wrong with you?
It's a tree, dude.
So, she broke up with me over a three-foot tree.
Like, I even took a photo of it holding it like a lightsaber, and I was like, This is really it, you know.
And um, that was one that was like, I was okay with even paying for everything.
I was like, You just like, I will take care of it, but um, she had like there can't be a Christmas tree in the house, there can't be all these other like religious symbols and just really odd things, and um, so that that just didn't work out, but uh, it's all good, you know, like plenty other women where that came from.
Can you give me some examples of how she didn't want to be led?
You said earlier that they want to, they say they want to be led, but then you try to lead and they just want to be led in the way they want to be led.
Yeah, so it was like, here's the thing: uh, hang on, um, okay, uh, she goes, I need a bigger car, and I say, Okay, well, I'm gonna get this Volkswagen Atlas because this is a good family car, and I do want to have another kid.
I get it, and she's like, Well, I wanted more of like a Hyundai Palisade with an extra row, and I was like, Yeah, well, I'm the guy I'm leading, so this is what I say that we need.
Oh, well, that's that, okay.
And then it's she wants a house, so we're looking at houses, and I'm like, Well, I want a house in this location because of the school district, because of this.
And she goes, Well, I don't agree with that, so I want it over here.
And I say, Whoa, like if you want this peaceful life, like you should have no stress, like you need to, I'm going to take care of everything, and you're going to live within these parameters.
Like, this is how you will operate.
If you don't want the stress that I have to deal with, then you need to like just let me take care of it.
And that just she just wanted, I was to lead as long as I was spending the money the way she wanted, as long as everything was in her plan.
Like, I was only a like a bank account.
So, you said that you're actually Jewish, but you just pretend to be Christian?
Dude, just on a dating app, just on a dating app.
Yeah.
When do you like tell them?
Oh, well, they go, they go, they go, so what do you think about Jesus?
And I'm like, well, I think he's a cool guy, but he's not like real.
Like, he's real in his spirit.
Like, God's real.
Everyone believes in God because he's real in spirit.
Yeah.
I'm taking no talking.
If everyone believes in God, because if God wasn't real, none of us would be talking about him.
So he has to be real.
And I guess it's like a psychopathic thing because I know what women mean when they're like, what do you think about Jesus?
You know, I'm like, well, Jesus is great and he's probably, he might have been a real guy, but he didn't like rise from the dead.
And if a woman says, what do you mean by that?
I say, yo, to get convicted of murder, you need three witnesses.
3,000 years ago, two guys say they saw that and you're going to believe it.
That doesn't make any sense.
So that's just.
And does that ever deter them?
There's like been two that were like, well, you're not the one for me, but usually they don't ask that question until it's like the deed's been done.
You know, or you kind of hold off on answer.
So one of my biggest problems is it's hard for me to just sit there and let women talk just to get laid.
Right.
So are you one of those people who, if you find a, if you're going out with a really pretty Christian girl, you can just listen to her talk to all of her BS just to get laid?
Oh, no.
Like sometimes I used to do that.
I used to be the lending ear, but now I'm kind of like much more challenging because I don't know how you have experience dating, but like nowadays, especially on dating apps, like I'm 33, like I usually, it usually gets to the bedroom on the first or second date.
So I don't have to listen to him talk for very long.
And but if they're going to blab on about that, I'm like, look, this is not worth my time.
And then it's just see you later.
And like, I have a kid and I'm trying to have another kid.
So I'm like, I'm trying to get through women.
And if they're just blabbing on about their life, I think there's certain stories women tell that they need to have female friends for.
And I don't want to hear those stories.
You know, the criteria for those stories.
So, because I always say, this is Doug MPA, by the way.
The female-friendly version of the story is where they're the hero and the victim at the same time.
You know, I love him.
Talking about I could change him.
I loved him so much, but he just couldn't realize what I was doing for him.
He just didn't appreciate me.
Yeah.
I did everything I possibly gave him everything and he just left me.
All I did was give, give, give.
I do so much for everyone.
Yeah.
That's how I ended up with my daughter, dude.
Like, I wrote in a book in high school: I said, I want to get the hottest chick I find pregnant, but I want her to be so crazy, she ends up in jail.
So I don't have to deal with her.
But she was not crazy enough.
So we just made a really awesome kid.
And now I'm, you know, doing the whole child support thing.
That's cool.
It's just.
So do you want to get married and have a kid?
Oh, hell yeah.
That's the only way to do it again.
Like, yeah.
I mean, I don't know if that is the only way because I listened to Pearl and she's like, marriage is not good.
Like, or not that, but like, it's uh, it's stacked against guys, which it totally is.
Like, I was pro se in court, so I know it's really hard, but um, I think like we need to put our values in the right places, and that's what religion is like a glue, I think.
So, I'm gonna ask you another question.
So, what is the difference between you vetting?
Okay, so you vetted around with the daughter of with the mother of your daughter.
So, what's different and what you're looking for in the next mother of your next child compared to the first dude?
She's quiet and simple, man.
She knows how to shut the F up.
Yeah, I'm dating a girl now.
And if we're at dinner and she doesn't know what to eat, I'm like, don't talk.
I'm ordering for you.
She's just fine with it.
Like, she's she's if she's very decisive, and when she's not decisive, I don't wait for her.
I just order for her, and she just eats it and doesn't complain.
And I'm like, This is a good woman, and it's a good woman.
But Bar is so hello, that's all we got to do.
Oh, yeah, dude.
I was like, I have so because I want a woman who's who, and I'm still trying to quite define this, but I want a woman who's literally on my team.
You know what I'm saying?
Because my channel, I always say, when men win, everyone wins.
When women win, they win for themselves.
So, I want a woman who's on my team, and odds are your first baby's mother was never on your team.
It's so right.
I actually wrote about that.
Um, like, I don't think you men should go to therapy, you need to write and figure out what, like, learn from yourself.
And I put like you want a woman that's in your corner, you want someone rooting for you, and women don't know how to root for men, and they don't even know how to root for each other.
Because, I mean, Pearl, when you were in high school and girls tried to give you advice, how many times did you take it?
Well, yeah, never.
Yeah, women don't even listen to each other.
Yeah, think about this whole being on your team thing.
It's like you can't even quite quantify like what it actually means, but you know it when you have it.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you can just tell when a woman's on your team, and you can tell when she's not.
I have a rule when I'm dating that by the, I say, like, I will pay for everything up to like three or four dates if she's really sweet.
And then I tell them, I'm like, look, like, I want to know what you would do for me.
And that's what the girl I'm dating now.
I'm like, if you don't do something for me in the next two months, I'm going to move my mom in and I'm going to not talk to you anymore.
And she was like, LOL, okay.
And she told me she was going to plan a date for me this week, but she hasn't.
So I don't know.
I might be having a roommate soon.
But yeah, dude, women, I think you do need a woman on your team and a good woman will know you.
And she'll definitely put the effort forth and say, hey, like, I got your back.
Yeah.
I'm single.
So maybe don't take advice from me, dude.
I'm single.
Okay.
Well, thank you so much for calling in, Dustin.
You're pretty funny.
So call in whenever, okay?
All right.
Thanks.
Bye.
All right.
Yeah, I'll be bluey.
You can put in, uh, put in Rob next.
Uh, hey, Rob.
How's it going?
Robert, are you there?
I'm going to give you another.
How many years are you?
Five, four, three, two, one.
You guys got to come in ready, all right?
I at least need, you got to give me something.
All right, who's next?
Let me see the waiting room.
All right, do uh Jackson.
Oh, oh, Gabe's there.
Okay, Gabe, I need camera on, mic on.
Hello, Pearl.
Gabe, what's going on, man?
Hello.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what's your experience?
How's it going?
Nice tie.
You came in dressed to impress, huh?
I wore this to school today, so yeah.
Oh, nice.
So tell me, what's your experience?
Are you a Christian?
Let's start.
Hello, Pearl.
Are you a Christian?
I was baptized Catholic as a baby.
I wasn't really ever raised religious, but to get straight to the point, like towards the end of like the 14 years that I wasted on dating apps, I tried to filter out like TradCon girls.
And yeah, didn't see anything compared to keeping filters open or whatever.
I went on one speed dating event one time in person.
And the last guy that you were talking to, I thought he was really funny because, yeah, I lied about basically being religious, which I wasn't really at the time.
Okay.
And so what was your experience dating religious women or Christian women?
Were they any different?
I've never dated anyone religious, but like I can think back to a couple times when I met girls that would say that they were like Christian.
And even back when I was a lot more naive when I was younger, I always felt like I could see past their BS based on basically how they would basically walk around like a thirst trap or would hear later on that,
oh yeah, Cindy, you know, was doing 304 activities like with Brad or whatever.
I'm just throwing like examples out there.
I'm not naming those, those aren't real names of people.
I'm just improvising.
I honestly is that something I've played.
No, that makes sense.
So you always kind of knew that they're full of shit from a young age.
Yeah, I mean, it's tough because I've always been told, even being raised by liberals and feminists, like you should go for a religious girl.
You should go for a girl like the Duggars or whatever, stuff like that, which, I mean, to me, even as embracing Catholicism again in life, I just feel like, I don't know if I really like them as an example, which, I mean, that's my opinion, but it is what it is.
But that pretty much sums up everything else.
I mean, that sums up everything on my end.
Cool.
Well, thanks for calling, Gabe.
It's a pleasure as always, okay?
Yeah.
All right.
Bye-bye.
All right, bye.
The next one we got in the queue is going to be.
Well, thanks for calling, Gabe.
It's a pleasure as always.
All right.
We got Jackson next.
How's it going, Jackson?
I can hear you perfectly.
Okay, excellent, excellent.
First time calling in.
Are you, do you have, do you have the video playing in the background?
I do.
Let me turn it off.
Okay.
Is that better?
Yeah, that's better.
Okay.
There we go.
Yeah.
So are you Christian?
I am.
I'm a Bible-believing Christian.
And I have been using the dating apps for quite some time.
What I would say in a word is Christian women on the dating apps are super picky.
That's the first adjective that comes to my mind.
Like they are, it's really, really hard to set up a date with them, I've noticed.
Like the same hypergamy stuff that we always talk about on other dating apps and all that just applies as full force or possibly even more with the Christian dating apps.
Like I found that I had to really learn how to even text them because you have to text them a very specific way.
Like if you, if you use too many exclamation points or emojis or something like that, it can come across as feminine and stuff.
And I had to, and I still am by no means any kind of expert on it, but I still have learned to text a little bit better than better than I used to.
And I've been able to get more dates than I have in the past.
But then I also find the second thing, besides it being just super pit, them just being super picky to get the date in the first place, I find that they catfish a lot.
Like I've noticed a lot of them are a lot heavier than they look in their profile pictures.
Now I know it's a huge red flag if there's no like full body shot of them standing somewhere or something like that.
So the modesty is more convenient rather than out of virtue.
It doesn't count if you don't have a hot body.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, exactly right.
Sorry, go ahead.
What camera angles they take their pictures at?
If they only take pictures where it's like up above them a little bit, coming downward or, you know, there's certain angles where you can't see their double chins and stuff.
Exactly right.
You got to watch out.
Yeah, yeah.
I've been on several dates where that's the case.
Then another thing I find is that the thing that Pearl always talks about, which is the, I'm traditional, except I'm really not.
Like I was on a date with this woman a few weeks ago, actually, from a dating app from Hinge, who said she was a Christian.
And she may be a Christian.
I personally definitely believe you can genuinely be a Christian and yet not have some things right and that sort of thing.
So I'm not saying she isn't a Christian, but she was saying that like, oh, I'm traditional.
And so I said, you know, that's interesting.
What do you mean by that?
And she was like, well, I mean that I'm a Trump supporter.
I'm like, oh, okay, that's a good start.
But what would end like I asked her the classic question of, because she had this career she wanted to do.
What if your husband wanted to you to not do that, to be a stay-at-home wife?
Oh, no, I would never do that.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, that's short-circuited when you asked her that.
Exactly right.
Exactly right.
Does she realize Amber Rose is a Trump supporter?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's, that, that's true, but, but I, I do think, I do think most, like, I'm not saying you're, you're, you're not wrong.
There are Amber Rose Trump supporters out there.
I do think most women like that.
Like Amber Rose are probably not Trump supporters.
But yeah, that's, that's the case I've found.
And then the worst time ever, just because it was the most painful to me is I actually did find a woman on Upward, the dating app we're talking about.
I'll just, I'll just name the app.
Who we went on a few dates and it felt like a match made in heaven, honestly.
Like, I have never met to this day another woman who, at least from everything I could tell, with me aligning our values and what we like to do and our life plans, including in some rather unique ways about myself, we seem to align absolutely perfectly.
And this, this won't surprise Pearl at all, but she just cut everything off for with basically no explanation.
She just sort of canceled all of a sudden.
And so, yeah, I mean, this is all sorry.
She's probably married.
I don't think she's married, but she was another guy that she ended up going out with after this.
So you're on the right track there.
She wasn't married, fortunately.
But anyway, all this to really say is that in my personal experience, what Pearl talks about regarding Christian women not being any different than just women in general, it just, it just, I mean, I would have, I hate to believe that that's true, but that's what I experience on a day-to-day basis, if that makes sense.
I'm going to ask you a question.
Is there, are you in your 30s, 40s?
I'm 32, almost 33.
Yeah.
So is there a red flag age where a woman is at a certain age and she says she's a Christian?
Because, you know, me, I'm in my 40s.
And if a woman says she's she's a Christian in her 30s, but she's never been married and she doesn't have any children, I'm like, wait, what's going on here?
Like it's kind of a red flag.
So that, that's, yeah, I'm not religious, not even close.
Sure.
So sure, gotcha, gotcha.
So I don't quite look, I see what you're asking.
I don't look at it quite that way.
By the way, interesting fact about me, and this is not typical of Christians, especially more conservative Christians like myself, but I've never really personally desired to have kids.
I've definitely always desired to be married, at least in the biblical sense, not necessarily talking about state marriage.
That's a whole other discussion.
Good man.
But again, I'm not saying I'm completely closed to that if that's God's will for my life.
So it's not, it's not, I definitely, you know, I'm completely close to that either.
But what here, but to answer your, your actual question, for me, what is more important than the age?
I see where you're going with the age.
I really do.
But what I ask when a woman says she's a Christian is, well, what do you mean by that?
Explain, you tell me what a Christian is and why you are and how you became one and that sort of thing.
And I've had some good when you ask that question.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Do you have an idea in your mind?
Yeah, right.
I believe.
Is that a question where in your mind you have an idea that there's a right answer and a wrong answer?
For sure, for sure.
What would be the right answer?
I come from a school of thought called free grace theology, which is we believe salvation is completely by God's grace.
So that's another reason I think some of these Christian women who are doing things I think are wrong still may actually be Christians, which doesn't mean their behavior shouldn't be called out, obviously.
But that's where I go with that.
I see how closely or not closely they align with that.
So for me, that's personally more important than the age they became.
But I'm also not saying you are on to something, right?
Like you do want to make sure this isn't just the woman's latest social club or something like that.
So I do agree with where you're coming from.
In the chat, the last stop on the whore train is always the church.
The last stop.
That may be true, but here's the point is: even if the whore actually did become a Christian, that doesn't make her a good wife material, is just where I'm going.
Smart man, so yeah, smart man.
And then one more question.
So, uh, you're on Christian dating apps now.
I have is your experience on a Christian dating app vastly different than on regular dating apps?
Not really.
Um, the, I mean, the one thing I will say is that that is a little different is years ago back on Tinder, I did occasionally get some women who would send me just some, you know, overtly sexual message.
And I, and I honestly don't even think a lot of them were even trying to hook up with me.
I think they were actually just kind of trolling and that sort of thing.
Or some of them could have even been bought accounts.
I don't know.
I haven't encountered that as much on Christian dating apps.
But as far as just the, you know, the getting them to go, them being super picky, it's, it's, I think, the same thing.
Like, like an analogy I thought of is a lot of women will say, you know, I'm in my 30s.
Where are all the good men?
All I've ever wanted is to be married and in many cases, have kids, they'll say, and that kind of thing.
And it's a little bit to me like, you know, when I was when I was going to college, my, my grand, I wanted to go to the University of Texas at Austin.
That was my dream school.
But my grandfather said, no, that's too expensive.
You have to go in state because I happen to live in Colorado.
So I went to Colorado State.
I mean, can you imagine if I had refused to go to Colorado State and said, all I ever wanted was to go to college?
I mean, that's what I feel like a lot of these women are doing, if that makes sense.
Yeah.
Completely.
Yeah.
And I had a blast at CSU.
Like, I wasn't even that disappointed.
I was just thankful to get to go anywhere.
It's just that analogy is always stuck in my mind.
So yeah.
Is your church, does your church try to facilitate a Christian relationship?
They have a singles ministry or anything like that?
They don't, not really.
I go to other places for singles ministries.
My church is just a very small Bible church where there are a few people.
First of all, it's not a very big church in general.
There are other people my age, but my friends are married.
And I've been to, I've been to secular singles meetups as well, like Jigsaw is in a lot of cities.
That's another thing.
But you have to be just like, like one thing Pearl is just absolutely right about that I don't that I would even argue it's unbiblical the way they do it, but that's a theological discussion is the way a lot of Christian women will shame male sexuality.
Like that's something I had never heard anyone really talk about that until I found Pearl's channel and her saying that.
Pearl has a special kind of passion when she talks about Trad Con horrors.
It's the best.
I grew up around them.
They drive me nuts.
The best of Pearl comes out when she's talking about that.
Well, thanks so much for calling in, Jackson.
No problem.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, call it anytime.
I'll talk to you.
I'll talk to you guys later.
Yeah, cool.
Bye.
All right.
That was a great caller.
Very concise.
I love it when they come in and they just have these are the Mr. Booth.
He said that the Jackson sounds very, very intellectual, and that might intimidate the women that he goes out with.
This guy in the chat said that.
Yeah, and I can see that happening.
Yeah, he seems very logical.
Yeah, because we like the like if you get we're not logical creatures, so we're like, What?
Well, and then these chatcom women in the church just expect men to be idiots.
Yeah, um, okay, hey, Charles, how's it going?
I think it's frozen.
Oh, oh, now he's moving again.
Hey, Charles.
Oh, where'd he go?
Now he's gonna, he's got up and left.
Come back, Charles.
Charles, I don't know if he is muted.
No, he's got an audio.
Oh, oh, you guys got to work on your Zoom skills.
Like, let's see if we can get it put into the window.
Charles, are you there?
All right.
Well, we'll try Charles.
See if we can.
You guys got to come in ready to go.
All right.
It kind of puts the show on hold if we're waiting for you guys to figure out the Zoom.
There's a way to test before you guys come in.
Okay, we can try Charles one more time.
Can see if either of them figure it out.
Okay, now I'll unmute.
Yeah, I can unmute.
You're muted so I can see you.
You just go to the corner.
It should be bottom like left corner.
Okay, now he's off mute.
Are you there, Charles?
Yes, I am.
There he is.
There he is.
How's it going, Charles?
I'm doing good.
How are you guys?
I'm good.
So, what is your are you a Christian?
So, I'm a Christian.
I'm uh, I've not done the dating app thing, but I can tell you about churchyentity women.
Um, it's funny.
I'm divorced, I'm 60 years old.
Currently, thank God, I have a girlfriend that's 49 and I get sex every day, so I'm happy.
Let's go.
No wonder he's got that smile.
Was your ex-wife like super Christian?
Do you guys do the whole typical Christian marriage thing with your ex-wife?
Well, no, so she wasn't, my ex wasn't Christian, she was a psychiatrist, psychologist.
Oh, there it is.
There it is.
But, um, but I had the um, I had the withholding for like two years from her before my divorce.
So, um, God's being good to me now.
But I'll tell you, all the women in my church, though, it's like born-again single moms come in and get their born-again virginity.
You know, they get baptized and then they get their virginity, and these simps like are all over them, like white on rice.
It kind of I go to these Bible studies and I tell guys, don't do it, you're you're headed for problems.
Um, but the sympodemic is real, and I wish I could get it through to guys, uh, you know, 50 and younger.
Like, you know, go for it.
When, you know, don't buy into the BS and the stuff they preach in church is absolutely insane.
You're you're right about the pastors and you're right about the band people.
They all walk around like they own the place and the youth ministers too.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about them.
Like, like they are, it's brutal.
It is absolutely brutal.
And Pearl, I love what you do, but the Christian conservative women are a whole group unto themselves.
The woke women are out of their minds.
And you can tell by the laughter that they're woke and just go the other way.
I always say, because remember, nature marks its most poisonous things with odd shapes and like weird colors.
So feminists and all them, you can catch them by their purple hair and that like septum piercing and stuff.
But these fake tradcons, they look like everybody else, so they're hard to spot.
It's amazing and they blend right in.
And I don't know what it is, but like society falls for this trad con thing.
Like it's absolutely mind-numbing that the fact that men are so willing to give up the ghost for anything.
I don't know.
You know, if you're a stoic and you're a guy and you can take the seven seconds or seven breaths to slow things down a bit, you're going to save yourself a lot of trouble in this world.
So what age do you see are the men that fall for it the most?
Do you find them to be young guys, boomers, millennials?
I'd say probably like they're either really young, they're sort of the 19 to 25 range, or they're the 40 to 35 range.
Okay.
Those are the guys.
In the 25 to 35 range, I think they still got enough of their game and they're kind of like they've started making money for the first time.
They've got property.
They've got some things maybe.
And they kind of, how do I want to say it?
They have the independence and enough stuff to be like, no, I don't need you.
If they go that time to say like 35 to 40 years old and they've been divorced or whatever, they just become desperate.
And the tradcon women, they're like sharks in a feeding frenzy nowadays.
It's insane.
So I would, because Pearl, we were talking about this earlier.
It's kind of no in-between.
So a divorced guy either becomes a red pill demon or just gets desperate and just simps all over the place.
Oh, yeah.
And I'll tell you, the red pill demon works.
Like I've had more women be like, oh, yeah, I teach yoga, right?
So I kind of get a lot of exposure out there.
And they're like, oh, well, I'm not going to talk to you anymore.
I'm like, fine, good, go, see ya.
And that, that makes them insane.
They lose their minds.
They lose their minds.
It's like if you, if you can, if you cannot simp and not follow after them, they'll chase you.
But you said that there's a church, it's a stepdaddy pipeline.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
God, absolutely.
So, so let's play hypothetical.
Let's say I'm a 24, 25-year-old guy who just graduated with a degree in like mechanical engineering or chemistry or something.
And I'm just starting with my career.
I'm in the church.
And you see the vultures of the federal, the single mother just hovering around this young guy who has a potential.
What would you say to that young guy?
Run, run.
The single moms, the single moms will give it up on the first date and then they will guilt him into like being a father to their child.
And the simp guys, they're done.
They'll introduce him to the kids like right after they have sex with them just to hook them in.
And then they're done.
I would tell those guys, run.
Stop going to church.
Stop going to church or do church online where you're not going to be exposed to this stuff because it's crazy.
And the dating apps, you know, when I got divorced, I did the dating apps.
And, you know, like I said, I'm 60 and I'm in fairly good shape and I take care of myself.
I would purposely not put a picture up there to just get treated like shit and see who hung around or who talked.
And it's insane.
You know, I'm not going to lie.
There are a lot of women that think way too highly of themselves.
I showed up on more meetups and saw like a four foot two, 500 pound woman get out of a car and just drove away.
You know, it's, it's sad, but, but they think they are, I don't know, they think they're, they're entitled to this thing.
And I, I make good money.
I, I have a, I'm retired.
You know, I made six figures.
I'm, I don't understand the disparity between what women feel they're entitled to and what men think they're entitled to.
Um, men are just desperate and society breeds this simpism, if you want to call it that, like where they feel like they have to take whatever they can get.
Right.
If you, you know, so um, yeah, any questions or anything?
No, I agree with you.
I'm like, I don't know what to add.
Do you have anything?
I just real quick.
So, so what is the most common weapon?
Because I'm still stuck on this church to step daddy pipeline.
I'm just, it's just blowing my mind over here.
So what is, so what are some of the typical tactics that these women use or say?
I think, I think they do the church thing to find the simps, and then it's, it's sex.
The single moms will just give it up.
And these guys are all it takes for some.
That's all it takes for a simp.
I mean, think about the kids you talk to, simp you know.
I know plenty of simps.
You're going to say some like intricate, intricate plan to like capture the guy like Wiley Coyote trying to get the roadrunner or something.
But you're saying that's to say, give it up.
All she has to do is put out.
Oh, that's so depressing.
It is.
It is.
You know, 304 is a 304, whether you dress her up in church clothes or not.
So.
Yeah.
Yikes.
Well, thanks for calling in.
I appreciate it.
No, thanks.
Yeah, go ahead.
Sorry.
No, thank you.
You're great.
I love listening to you.
And I point so many guys in your direction to get clarity.
So keep doing what you're doing.
Thanks so much.
Thank you, you two.
Bye.
Bye.
Tell your 49-year-old girlfriend we said hi.
That's the face of the man dating someone 10 plus years younger and getting it on the regular.
Yeah, they just smile more, you know?
That's that smile right there.
Let's see what we got.
We can do it's nine o'clock.
Let's do one more caller.
You want to pick Doug MPA?
I can't see the list.
Okay, then I guess I'll pick.
I'll do Jim.
Jim?
Do the bottom one and see if he.
Jim, what's going on, man?
You're on mute, Jim.
Can I mute?
Got it.
How are you?
I'm doing good.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
So what is your experience dating church women?
And are you Christian?
I am.
I am.
So I used to be a worship leader for 15 years.
And it has been an interesting few years.
One, dating in the church and dating leadership and accompanying the not only the stress, but the risk of dating in church and for it to go bad, you know, such as first dates.
And unfortunately, I had the experience of it actually going bad, a really bad first date.
And she had said, hey, I didn't consent to what we did afterwards, even though that was regret.
And it actually, yeah, it forced me out of the church.
So I went from Washington to D.C.
So now I live in Fort Lauderdale.
And I live a much, much more fruitful and full of life now being out of the church and dating out of the church than I did back in DC.
So you guys hooked up after the date and she said she didn't consent.
Yeah.
Was there any on the first date?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was.
Was it like a right away thing or was it like a slow burn kind of thing where she had to think about a couple of days or a couple of weeks and then it was actually it was you didn't want to share.
It's fine.
Probably really bad, but it's cool.
It was pretty quick.
It was within about 48 hours.
And I mean, this girl invited me back to her place and, you know, her friends had left to leave us alone.
And, you know, I wasn't pushing for anything.
But afterwards, I had realized, okay, someone in my position has to be very, very careful dating in the church and seeing what that looks like.
You know, on that, you know, things went relatively negatively.
You know, I tried to handle them the best that I could.
The church actually really defended and stepped up and made sure that I was protected.
You know, and also the church was protected as well.
But it really goes to this.
This was an area that I had not seen coming.
So I would say, you know, if you're dating in the church and you have a lot of your friends in the church, it's certainly something to think about and possibly even something to talk about, you know, coming from the male side of the fence.
So what happened the next, like, how quickly did she accuse you of that?
Was it like immediately or was like, did word get around and she got embarrassed?
Or like, did you tell someone?
And like, it went around?
Like, did it like because I found the church and half of it?
I'll tell you what I've found personally, and you can tell me if this matches.
I found that a lot of times if the guy tells someone, he kind of shoots himself in the foot because women are fueled by their reputation.
And so if you make them look bad, you like their hell has no fury.
Not like a woman scorned.
It's like a woman who looks bad.
So was that what happened or did something else happen?
So I didn't say anything.
I mean, when I dated her, I was 32, 33 years old.
So, you know, it's not in my best interest to go down and tell people.
It came from her.
And she says, listen, I don't consent to what we did.
Can we be friends?
And, you know, this was back when I was really involved with Corey Roy Wayne and really involved with Red Pill, how you don't be friends with women.
And now I believe something totally differently.
However, I'm like, no, we can't really be friends after what we did.
It's kind of hard to back off.
And she went crazy, really brought up the leadership.
The entire church got involved.
And yeah, I was told, you know, don't reach out to her, let things go.
Let's pull you out of ministry for a while.
And that was a six-month-long process.
And I just had started going in back into like choir, et cetera.
At that point, I had decided, okay, you know what?
Maybe, maybe Washington, D.C., DMV, where I grew up is not the place for me.
And now I am so much happier in the dating scene being down in Fort Lauderdale.
What changed?
Was it the quality?
Like, did you find the women were of better quality when you dated outside of the church?
Was it even the church, period?
What was it?
I think probably the answer to both of those questions is yes.
I'm fine down in Fort Lauderdale.
There's a lot of lack of commitment.
So it's, you know, it's, it's easier for me because I've dated in the church all of my life.
And now that I'm out of the church, I'm like, I got to learn a whole lot about Latina women.
I got to learn a whole lot about women in general because, you know, they don't play down here.
You know, you have, if, if your shoes are on the wrong foot or your belt is the wrong color, like you're done, you know, you know, the getting your figure right is step one of dating and down in church, uh, Fort Lauderdale because of how many options both women and men have.
Well, they always say, you know, the red pill, it doesn't get, you don't swallow it.
It gets shoved up your behind a lot of times.
And that's what happened to you, man.
I'm glad you made it out free and clear, man, because false accusations are no joke, man.
No, no, no joke.
You had to learn the hard way.
Wow.
Yeah, I was driving down to DC wondering if I was going to get arrested.
Like, you know, this girl thought I, you know, did this girl think that I had, you know, big R'd her?
Like, what, you know, which is not what happened at all.
We both consented to what we did, but that's not consent.
That's regret.
And, you know, I, I, I wish her the best.
I hope, you know, everything goes, goes well on her end on that side, you know.
So there's that, you know, like I've dated on Upward.
I've dated on Bumble.
I've dated on Hinge.
You know, they're out in DC, there's not a lot of options.
And DC, DMV, it's really all about getting married.
So there's a whole lot of pressure on both sides of the fence.
I myself used to be a massive simp.
You know, I've always believed women when they say, oh, I'm just this pretty little, you know, damsel in distress.
Like I used to believe that.
I grew up with my dad crying himself to sleep on match.com when dial-up was a thing.
Like that's the kind of upbringing that I had around women.
And I still have a long way to go.
Like down in Fort Lauderdale, I've realized a lot of the problem is me and my being scared of women, you know, giving off of duh, like, look what you went through.
But, you know, I'm 35 now.
Like, I've got to figure it out.
So what other patterns did you see?
Because you said you were in that church for like 12 years or 15.
Multiple churches in that church specifically for three years.
Good question.
One of the big things I noticed is that there was a lot of focus, yes, to get married, but there was also a lot of private things that go on in the background.
Like there was, they say one thing, but they really do another thing behind closed doors.
And me coming from the church side of the fence, like, hey, if I love Jesus, I love Jesus.
Like, I'm, you know, going to stick to that.
And that comes with, hey, let's wait for a while or let's wait till marriage.
A lot of the waiting until marriage stuff, like, they hit that really hard.
And I really love what you said earlier, you know, like how much control they exhibit when it comes to sex or when it comes to affection, because it's so, it's so disarming to a man when they hear that.
And it's not, typically, it's not like, hey, don't kiss me, don't kiss me now, not don't kiss me ever.
You know, when you're out on a first date with a girl, it's like you haven't really gone through the right steps to get to that point where, but when you're dealing with Christian women, it's like, you know, it's, they, they hell-cent it, you know, as far as, you know, I don't do this until I'm married.
I don't do that until I'm married.
When really you do need some of those experience to identify, hey, are we compatible?
Or is there some things that I need to know before deciding, hey, I'm going to do this or not?
What did you see in terms of like the dating culture?
Like, did you see women sharing men in church?
Did like you ever see the church to step daddy pipeline, like the last guy said?
Good question.
So I, you know, I did see a whole lot of single moms in the smaller church that I spent a lot of time with.
But there certainly was dating was still, it wasn't really thought out in the church.
And I don't really think it is as a whole.
It's, it's something that's more of an afterthought.
And then when stuff bad happens, the church is reacting towards them to hopefully fix them.
You know, one of the big things when I was involved deep in the church was like, hey, I wish someone would teach guys how to do this right.
So they're not so feminine when they approach women because women are forced to be men nowadays, especially in church.
And, you know, I did, I did notice, I did notice a lot of sharing of men.
Like when you date a girl in the smaller churches, you pick one.
And then after that, you can't like talk to another girl for six months.
Or it's typically seen as, oh, you're a player.
You're a guy who wants to get around.
When the bigger churches.
What's the holdup?
If it didn't work, you might as well move on.
Like six months?
Like, they don't want you to.
Especially with the man to with the male to female ratio in the church.
Yeah.
Like, how is he going to get married if he's got two chances a year?
Like, you got two shots a year?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's that.
That's how it was.
It was really seen negatively from a social perspective to date around.
And the smaller church I was a part of really instilled the guys asking, but you couldn't ask out two girls in the same week because they're all talking to each other.
Right.
You know, and so it was, dang if I do, dang if I don't.
You know, if I pick the wrong girl, darn it, I'm done for six months.
And it just got to the point where I'm like, why am I trying to do this in the church?
Like, what's, you know, what's really the purpose?
I do want a long-term relationship, single now, you know, dating around.
But at the same time, I, you know, I think the current method and how things are done, I think things need to be more purposeful.
And we don't have married couples trying to teach single guys how to date actually teach.
God, they can't.
Do you know what these married guys would do in this market?
They'd be by themselves.
They have no idea.
And the church expects.
They like, they're like, court her.
You're like, these girls are getting like banged out in college, man.
You can't court these holes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't.
She's got a kid, man.
Sorry, God.
Go ahead.
I try to avoid, you know, as much as I love single moms.
You know, if you have any of those listeners, you know, I love you.
But, you know, it got me in my 30s.
Like, I try to avoid that because at the end of the day, it is, you know, the kid is going to be first and I'm going to be second or third and everything's going to revolve around the kid.
And, you know, it's a decision that was made.
And, you know, I support it.
There are guys out there who make great second or third fathers, you know, support that.
But at the same time, that's not really what I'm looking for.
You know, I don't know if I want a kid right now, but at the same time, you know, I shouldn't feel like I have to choose that early on.
Hey, yeah, yeah, I have to, you know, say immediately, yes, I'm okay with a kid in the picture.
Did they ever sum it up and just say, it's just not your problem, man?
That's it.
Yeah.
It's not your problem.
Did they ever try to force like single mothers or subpar women on you where they're like trying to get you to ask out or date women that you're just like, no.
No.
The tactic is now you're getting older now.
You might have to accept this or you might have to accept that because you're getting older.
You've heard that before, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I was never forced or coerced or requested to date a specific girl.
I've had girls in the church try, you know, set me up with their friends.
And sometimes those went well.
Sometimes those, you know, didn't.
You know, however, you know, I think at the end of the day, the best thing that you can do is realize when it comes to, you know, if you don't interact with women, and actually 40% of guys today don't interact with women at all.
They've never approached a girl.
You know, like if you realize, you know, the awkwardness that some guys may express, a lot of that is on you and you have to fix that.
If you realize, hey, I have to fix that.
I have to make a decision to do so and you start working on it, you know, you'll find that, holy crap, there's no competition at all between a masculine man and a woman out there who wants to be approached, especially out here at Fort Lauderdale.
Like a lot of it is location and also a lot of it is, hey, confidence.
And when I found that out, I'm like, oh, wow, I absolutely have to take action here because I'm getting in my mid-30s.
I may look 29, 30 right now, but that's not going to last forever.
It's okay.
We love a little gray.
We love the gray and wrinkles.
guys got forever um yeah no that that's interesting though the that i I'm sorry to hear about the false accusations.
Too bad.
But it seems like something good came of it, right?
You seem happier now.
I am.
I am.
I'm realizing there's a lot of growth that I still need to do on my side of the fence.
And, you know, I hope she finds solace because, you know, at the end of the day, I don't want anybody to go through what I had to go through.
You know, the just the torture, the turmoil, the self-like, there's no doubt that there's trauma that I'm working through.
That, like, where did I go wrong with this girl?
And trying to date other women for at least a year.
Like, I'm scared.
I, you know, and it's still a little bit on the back burner of being afraid of women.
Um, I'm working on, but you know, at the same time, like, if I let it affect me, the only person that it's going to harm is me.
Like, you know, I don't want to be eternally watching porn all the time.
You know, I don't think, I don't think I deserve that.
I think I deserve to be around someone who wants, you know, who wants to express herself just as much as I do.
But at the same time, it's harder for Christian men and Christian women because of just how high the pressure is all around from social to you know, from a religious standpoint, how much they pressure their people to, hey, you, you got to do this.
This is what Christian people do.
Yeah.
Do you have a ring camera now?
I do.
I do have a ring camera.
Blink cameras.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, just in case.
I'm saying you better be filming everything.
Yeah.
Well, you can't legally film everything, Doug.
You can't know.
You can't film like you can't film sex acts without consent.
That's illegal.
Well, you know, have them sign an NDA.
No, I'm sorry.
It's a contractual document each time.
Yeah, you can do that.
Or if you get like a ring camera in the living room and, you know, like leading up, that's that's not illegal, you know.
It's hard enough making a woman feel comfortable, you know, when you're trying to make yourself feel comfortable at the same time.
And then you just, here's an NDA.
Yeah, yeah, good luck.
You just be like, it's like she starts hooking up the living room.
It's like, wait, there were these three football players for some school, and they had these two girls back at their house.
And one of them tried to say that a train ran on her.
And that the guys pulled out their phones and were like, hey, you're okay doing this, right?
And the lady's like, well, why, why are you having me do that?
Because our coach said that we need to film girls saying yes before we have sex with them.
Did they do it?
Did she do it?
And that's what got him out of it.
Oh, nice.
Because a girl, like a girl that night accused him, and they had this phone footage where the girl said, I'm okay with doing this.
Wow.
Yeah.
But then the coach got in trouble because the guy said that the coach told him to do that.
So the coach ended up getting fired.
The guys got off the accusations, but then the coach ended up getting fired.
Wow.
Yep.
Wow.
Well, you know, I'd say at the end of this, the catfishing is all whether you're in the church, you're out of the absolutely everywhere.
I mean, I'll tell you that the great experiences I actually found personally was through Upward.
You know, like I've tried through boo.
It's nothing but Chinese nationals posing as women they found pictures on through Instagram.
And, you know, Hinge for me has been fantastic.
Bumble, you know, Bumble has been pretty good for me too.
Tinder, I don't mess around with Tinder, but Upward was really, really good when I was in DC, the Nova area.
I had some great experiences on that.
Great.
Great.
Well, thanks so much for calling in.
You're a great caller, so call in anytime.
We'll do.
We'll do.
Thank you, Pearl.
Have a great day.
Thank you.
All right, Doug, MPA.
Any final thoughts on this topic?
I just, I can't get past the whole, if you're 30 to 35 and you proclaim to be Christian and you're holding a man to a Christian standard, but you've never been married and you don't have any kids, it's a red flag.
That's what, you know, what does St. Kevin Samuel say?
You know, if you're Christian, what's your purpose on this planet?
You know, to be a helpmeet, you know, and you haven't been a guy's helpmeet yet, but you're Christian.
Are you serious?
So that's a big red flag for me if a woman's between the age of 30 and 35 and she's never been married, she doesn't have any kids.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree with you, Doug.
I think Christian women are worse.
I actually think they're worse because they require morality from the guy and bring no morality to the table.
Where liberal women require no morality on either side.
There you go.
All right, guys.
Thank you so much for watching the show.
And thank you, Doug MPA.
A pleasure as always.
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