Pearl and Dr. Kim Sage expose how mothers rewrite societal narratives, shielding themselves from blame while children endure "mother trauma"—abuse, neglect, or gaslighting—often tied to narcissism or CPTSD. Callers like JC and Tom reveal lifelong scars from manipulative, violent mothers, including broken bones and emotional sabotage, yet face backlash for speaking out. Thompson warns men to avoid "good women" due to divorce courts favoring instability, suggesting strategic dating (e.g., younger women in college towns) or even enabling exes to minimize conflict. The episode argues maternal trauma fuels societal distrust of fathers, while systemic biases reward exploitation over accountability. [Automatically generated summary]
Okay, we got okay, looks like it's working on here.
let's go to the network okay looks like the network is going Okay, those are the two most important.
Let me put in my headphones.
Actually, let me do one more thing.
Oh, is the song not playing?
Whoa, and even the words we share with each other don't ever play.
Oh, I wanted you guys to listen to my mixtape.
No, okay, I'll play it.
I'm going to play it anyway.
Okay.
I have one more thing I got to do.
Sorry.
And I find myself calling you, saying, babe, come over, let's do this over.
Come beat my shoulder to cry on.
Life really ain't been the same since you've been gone.
Cause you're addicted.
Side effects include missing you, loss of appetite, sleepless nights, and trust issues.
You're high-risk.
I'm a love addict.
This feeling is fatal, mentally unstable.
You should have come with a war, with a war.
You're in bed with someone else saying you miss me.
And I'm crying on the bathroom floor, wishing I didn't leave.
This love is expired, but I still desire a refill, Cause you're addictive.
Side effects include missing you, Loss of appetite, Sleepless nights and trice issues.
You're high risk.
I'm a love addict.
This feeling is fatal, mentally unstable.
You should have come with a warm label, with a warm...
I ain't been addicted like this since I was alone and broke and had a woman holding me down like she was my only hope.
Like how we do in difficult times ensue.
We can only cope to say this was my lifeline.
I'm tugging on.
That's a lonely rope, addicted like Kelanopin.
Praying asking has got a thing when taking L's with women.
So Rolo tells me that's not a win.
Now maybe there's a path that we walk in passing, withholding passion, frightened of addiction to one another.
Withhold attraction.
You don't let yourself fall.
You fight your feelings like southpaw and even the words we share with each other don't ever sound wrong and maybe repeat the cycle like this ain't my only feature.
Recovery time and meetings don't make me the only speaker.
Put my best foot forward.
Always gave you my best first.
You could be the reason i'm forever buried in step work and that's a risk i'm down to take because i've taken it many times.
You could read me.
This warning label is fatal for either side.
Is that a sucker?
It's been three years now and i'm married with a diamond ring.
You're with some random girl, but still in love with me.
I won't admit it, but I see you in my dreams.
Are you the one who's supposed to be next to me?
You should have come with a wolf.
With a wolf.
With a wolf.
Do you know what?
I actually don't need auto tune.
I filmed this like a couple of years ago.
My voice wasn't as good then.
I think i'm gonna re-record it.
Okay, king Minor, that music stinks.
Okay then, why are you here?
Log, log off.
Okay, hello guys, welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily.
I am your host Pearl, and I have three more days till my producer comes back and I am not stranded out here.
As you guys know, I am self-producing, so please, to god, bear with me please, god.
Um, obviously I I can't do everything and I am very limited on my tech knowledge, so that's why we got These little, you know, intro things issues at times.
So, thank you guys all for bearing with me.
But if you do want to support me and you guys want to meet smart, intelligent men that are not famous, go to theaudacitynetwork.com.
That's theaudacitynetwork.com and sign up for our monthly or yearly membership.
Friday, I'm raising these prices.
This is going to be a very expensive program because you're going to get direct access to these smart, intelligent men in my network that I have met over the past five years.
And I found that personally, the most intelligent people I know are not famous.
And so they're going to give presentations on different industries.
I'm very good at getting in touch with people too.
So if you guys have a person that you want me to get in touch with and break, let me know in the comments and let me know on the website as well.
And yeah, so the price is going to go up Friday.
But if you are one of the first thousand people that sign up this week, I will keep you guys in it for life.
So for life, I'm keeping an Excel sheet of your emails.
And so if you ever leave, I'll have that Excel sheet.
All you got to do is show me, email me from that email, and for life, you'll be in my program for $10 a month, $100 a year.
That's it.
That is it.
Okay, so today we're going to talk about mothers.
Now, the one thing that I get annoyed with is that, you know, women still control the narrative in mainstream media when it comes to many things in society.
And the idea is that everything is the man's fault and it comes from this trend.
It's the men's fault for the divorce because the women aren't happy.
You men are solely responsible for making a woman happy.
It's men's fault for single mothers because men don't stay.
And when it comes to parenting, the narrative has created the myth that fathers are not needed and that mothers are superior to parents, superior parents to fathers because they're woman.
This has put all of the accountability for childhood trauma on fathers while letting mothers get away with everything.
Everything.
Professionals and influencers always talk about daddy issues and the shortcomings of their fathers, but they never talk about the traumas that mothers inflict on their own children.
That is what we are going to talk about on today's show.
Mother trauma.
Mother trauma refers to the psychological and emotional harm experienced by a child due to the mother's neglect or actions.
This can include a wide range of expressions such as physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, neglect, abandonment, and witnessing domestic violence.
Mother trauma can have the longest lasting effects on a child.
That can include anxiety and depression, low self-esteem and insecurity, difficulty with attachment and relationships, trust issues, problems with intimacy, substance abuse, and eating disorders.
These effects are only made worse by the mother's inability to take accountability for the harm that they've done to their child.
If the child asks any questions about how their mother treated them when they got older, they will usually get gaslit and lied to.
Mothers that haven't inflicted mother runs wounds on their children will, number one, they'll deny it happened.
You know, we have Casey Anthony on TikTok now.
That woman murdered her child and is denying that it happened.
And this isn't unique to Casey Anthony.
Women do terrible things to their children.
And when they get older, and do it's like they get offended when you remember.
It's like, mom, do you remember when you did that?
And then they get mad at you like you did it.
They'll be unwilling to have a conversation about the trauma.
They'll rewrite history and use psy language: shame, insult, guilt, and the need to be right.
And what they'll do is they'll lie to save their reputation to themselves, their children, and other members of the family.
And any child that wakes up to the mother's manipulation, the mother will make that kid's life a living hell.
Mothers that inflict trauma on their child reverse the nurturing contract between themselves and their children.
In most circumstances, the mother is supposed to be doing what is necessary to cultivate and reinforce the emotional development of a kid.
In cases of mother trauma, the child has to cultivate and reinforce the emotions of their mother.
The child must help the child must have endless praise on the mother from when they are young and far into adulthood.
This leaves the child emotionally and mentally stunted and unprepared for the world as an adult.
I hope that one day in the U.S., society judges mothers as harshly as they judge fathers.
The mothers can do no wrong culture in America, really has got to stop.
Giving mothers the benefit of the doubt in all circumstances really needs to stop.
She did the best she could, needs to stop.
Mothers need to be held accountable for the damage that they are doing to their children.
So I'm going to read an article and it's 10 signs of a narcissistic mother.
Moms are supposed.
Oh, not a video.
One second, guys.
I'm going to play my mixtape again, whether you like it or not, while I get up.
Unless this, my iPad isn't working recently, so I haven't been able to flip the camera.
It is what it is.
Give me a second.
We're going to.
This love is expired, but I still desire a refill.
A refill.
Because you're addictive.
Side effects include losing you.
Loss of appetite, sleepless nights, and trice issues.
You're high risk.
I'm a love addict.
This feeling is fatal.
Man.
Okay.
Now we're gonna, here we go.
Friday, guys.
My producer is back.
I'm so excited.
Dear God, I have done the best I can, but I am not meant for this tech stuff.
I'm really not.
Supposed to be supportive and nurturing, but what happens when the very woman that should be your number one fan is actually your number one adversary?
And if you're like most people, you just slip into this confusing, guilt-ridden mess.
And that's why in today's episode, you're going to learn the 10 signs that your mother is a narcissist.
And these are the signs that every single one of my students has experienced but just couldn't make sense of.
But I want you to please note that Christianity isn't about just slapping a love label on someone and ignoring all the damage that they caused.
And nor is our time together meant to be a mom-bashing episode, but rather, I want you to allow God to bring to light what the enemy issues keep in darkness.
So, in doing so, you can now have an accurate assessment of your situation and honor God in your interactions.
So, let's dive into the 10 signs.
And I'm really curious to hear what you think about number 10.
Number one, she sees you as an extension of her.
Imagine how someone would feel if they weren't allowed to have their own identity, weren't able to make their own choices without upsetting someone.
In my world, that leads to a codependent, performance-driven mess.
Narcissistic mothers often live their life through their children.
Maybe mom always wanted to be the popular one, so she pushed you to always look pretty.
Or she didn't finish college, so now you had to go on to some prestigious school so she can have bragging rights.
And most of us moms like to be proud of our children's choices, but narcissistic moms take this to a toxic level.
You're a reflection of her, so therefore, you must make choices based on that.
Narcissistic mothers care more about their reputation than the welfare of their kids.
That's generally what it comes down to.
Her preferences.
Number two, she's critical.
Look, not all critical people are narcissists, but all narcissists are critical.
And she likely has something to say about everyone and everything.
And in doing so, positions herself as superior.
And this can be through overtly criticizing someone or you for their choices or passive aggressively making comments about someone else in an attempt to make sure to get the message to you.
But ironically, if you have any criticism or complaint about her, you will get met with a toxic reaction as you are now creating a crack in her fragile facade.
And number three, she has toxic reactions.
Look, we can all overreact or react poorly from time to time, but narcissistic mothers will maintain this radioactivity as her MO.
And you can likely predict that she will have a defensive stonewalling victim-like reaction if you attempt to bring anything to her attention that she doesn't want to hear.
And narcissistic mothers cannot and will not look at themselves.
So if you challenge her delusion, the response will be radioactive.
Nothing is ever her fault.
And if you ever try to argue otherwise, you will get met with the victim and martyr.
Number four, she lacks empathy.
Narcissistic mothers will fake empathy with their sweet, high-pitched voices and their feigned sincerity.
But it's all an act.
When push comes to shove, she can't fake it anymore.
She doesn't care about what you're going through, especially if it inconveniences her or worse, pertains to her.
And some of these moms have realized just how selfish they appear.
So they will make excuses like, oh, I have something so much more devastating to deal with and thereby making you the problem because you don't now have empathy for what she's going through.
If you've struggled under the weight of a toxic mother and want to break free to all that God has for you, I want to encourage you to check out my online course called the Toxic Mother Survival Course.
Or we also have another course called How to Heal from a Toxic Mother, Restoring Your Life Through Faith.
I will go ahead and include links in the description section below.
And number five, she doesn't respect your boundaries.
Narcissistic mothers do not take no for an answer.
Your boundaries are perceived as a personal slight towards her.
Because after all, I'm your mother.
Whether she's sharing your personal information to others or overriding your preferences, she believes that you should cower to her commands.
And since narcissistic mothers still view their adult children as young children, they believe wholeheartedly that they have free reign over your life and you...
Yeah.
You know, fathers will give kids the information and let the children make their own mistakes.
Mothers cannot let their kids fail.
And if their kids fail, they are not concerned about their kids failing.
They're concerned about how it looks on them.
Owe them.
And here's where you're going to get met with a manipulative comment like, you're supposed to honor and obey me.
Or what kind of Christian treats their mother that they're- Oh!
Oh, that one triggered me.
You're supposed to honor me.
This is why I hate Christian women.
They always do this.
This way.
All of this is in an attempt to disregard your limits and shame you into feeling like a bad person.
Number six, she wears a mask.
Narcissistic mothers have several facades that they try to uphold, and this can be done easily for a short period in public.
But get behind closed doors in private, and you're going to see that mask slip or fall off completely.
Their public persona is in stark contrast to their private one.
And this is why it makes your skin crawl when you hear people say, oh, your mother's so great.
Oh, she's so sweet.
And you think, huh, if you only knew.
And number seven, she believes that others are jealous of her.
Mom having trouble keeping friends long term?
No, I'm not talking about those equally toxic girls that she's been friends with since college.
I'm talking about a constant revolving door of people in and out of her life.
Narcissists can't have genuine connection with others.
So when those people end up leaving, which they always do, the narrative that sounds best in her mind is, oh, she was just jealous of me.
That leads to number eight.
She's entitled and self-important.
And this trait can be overt or covert.
The overt will be a bit more histrionic in her behavior, making overt displays to get attention.
Maybe that's dancing inappropriately at a party or bragging to anyone with an ear or treating people that she deems inferior like trash.
The covert narcissist may not be as obnoxious in her expressions, but make no mistake, she will exude superiority over others.
Especially watch for number 10.
But first, into number nine, she distorts reality, otherwise known as gaslighting.
You can't have a healthy conversation with a narcissistic mother because she is always telling you that you're remembering things wrong.
Whether she denies saying or doing something or just calls you too sensitive when you try to raise an issue, narcissistic mothers don't desire genuine connection.
I know they say they do.
They desire admiration.
And if your questioning her challenges that, she will flip the script on you faster than a fried cook flips hotcakes.
And number 10, she has weird facial expressions.
Okay, so this one isn't so much proven, but in my experience, I've seen most narcissistic mothers with these almost uncontrollable facial expressions that reveal their contempt for others.
From eye rolls to snarky smirks to eye flutters.
Can't even do it if I tried.
These are all signs of disdain and disapproval towards others.
They truly think that they're better than others, including you.
Okay, so dare I ask, how many signs have you seen so far?
Let me know in the comments below.
And did you know that growing up with a narcissistic mother can actually lead to people pleasing?
Where you're always saying yes and I'm sorry?
And if you want to know just how much this has impacted your life, I want to invite you to go ahead and take our.
Okay.
Let me switch the screen real quick.
Oh, dang it.
It's another video.
Hold on.
Hold on guys.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Is this the same one with this one?
Hey guys, I'm Dr. Kim Sage.
I'm a licensed clinical psychologist and this next few series of videos are going to go a little further into what I like to call mama trauma.
What is mama trauma, you may ask?
I believe it is really what happens to us when we have parents and oftentimes our primary caregivers who really do struggle with disorders like borderline, narcissism, their own wounding or mental health issues, maybe trauma issues.
But whatever happens is that over time, it's not a one-time event.
It's a chronic classic CPTSD dynamic where there's chronic interpersonal trauma often between you and your caregiver, which it may be an auntie or grandmother, but it really is that mother role.
And I'm going to make other videos on what I call papa trauma, which is about trauma with our fathers, but I'm going to finish out this part with mama trauma.
So before I get started though, I'm a clinical psychologist and this channel really focuses on attachment, relationships, childhood trauma.
And there seems to be a real interest in terms of understanding our primary caregivers and the wounds they can create in us as children, especially if they are people who struggle with their own disorders.
So that is what this whole series about mama trauma will be exploring.
Please feel free to click the bell and that way if you want to subscribe, you'll get notified when I post new videos.
Okay, so this video is really about the top seven signs.
You know, if we're talking about, do I have mama trauma?
What does that really mean?
There's a certain sort of description of the way we engage with a parent who has chronic, you know, relationship issues being parents who are consistent and stable and available.
No parent is perfect, as I literally will keep saying.
We all screw up sometimes.
But these are parents who can say hurtful things, who can do hurtful things, who are unreliable.
And I'm not talking about, like I said, in a certain period of time where we all are struggling.
But when you look back over your childhood, there's like a certain way you would describe the relationship.
And the odds are very good today, you're still in the trauma bond with a parent like this.
So if you're wondering, do I really have some mama trauma?
These to me are the signs.
The first sign is that you would describe your parent, your mother, your mother role, as challenging, as crazy, as difficult, as unreasonable, as unpredictable.
And that would be a label you will use to describe the majority of the time with them.
Now, not all of the time with them.
As I've said in the videos about borderline moms, with borderlines, especially, there can be more of that good love, that good relationship, and so it can feel confusing because it's not always bad.
But when you step back and look at it and you start to really understand what healthy parenting looks like, you would describe it as sort of these, you know, labels of, you know, crazy, unusual, intense, challenging, difficult, and things like that.
So your mom in general is not the easiest person for probably anyone to deal with, but it especially was not easy for that relationship between the two of you.
The next one is that you have a deep core sense of not being good enough, and that is often driven by your perfectionism, being overly critical.
I think we all struggle with some degree of worthiness.
I mean, it's just part of life and the culture we live in.
But if you had a parent who actually told you repeatedly that you weren't good enough, that something was wrong with you, that you were a bad child, and they're still telling you things like this, right?
There's never been any change.
That might be a sign that there's some trauma in there, especially as related to the worthiness and attachment security that can really help us not feel so much that way.
The next one, number three, is that her love hurts.
Her love hurts mentally or physically or emotionally.
There's something about the love with her that has a deep wound inside of it.
It's not simple.
It's not pure.
It's not easy to express and understand.
And so there's a wound that exists.
And the love with her, even if it can be really good at times, it can also be deeply, deeply wounding.
Number four is that you have some, you know, likely symptoms of CPTSD, especially as your chronic trauma.
Therapists just make up words.
She's on to something, but damn, CPTSD.
It relates to the parenting relationship with your mother or mother caregiver.
And that includes everything I discussed in this video, from autoimmune and chronic health issues to mental health issues.
You know, it really does vary.
There's a lot of things that can go into and manifest in CPTSD.
But if you think about the relationship and its chronically difficult nature with your mother, there's a chance you may have sama trauma.
And that really goes into the next one, which is you may actually have physical and mental health symptoms that are ongoing that are chronic.
Everything from these sort of disorders that we can't seem to get a hold of, that they require ongoing treatment and that you tend to and or repeatedly go back to and struggle with, as well as, as I was saying, what we might find in sort of typical stress-induced chronic medical and physiological health issues.
Number five is that if you had a mom who, for the most part, you've been embarrassed to tell other people about the things that she did to you, that she said to you, that she did or said to your dad or your siblings, there's just this sort of cringy, uncomfortable nature that you don't really want to share because for the most part, you don't hear people saying things like that out loud.
And or you're embarrassed of the way that she talked to you and treated you.
There's a chance that because of her own difficulties and maybe lack of boundaries and her own inability to manage herself, that the way she treated you that was also hurtful or embarrassing is something that you don't want to share with people.
And all of it, it just feels really uncomfortable to think about telling someone else what your childhood with this parent was really truly like.
that's the thing.
There's so, there's so many, like when you talk about your father, you can talk about his flaws and his strengths.
And the dads, I mean, they'll usually agree with you.
The mothers, though, it's like if you say anything, even remotely, that may piss them off.
It is like World War III.
I also want to say thank you to the people that have signed up today.
We just had someone sign up to the website.
I'm just going to say, hold on.
At the bottom.
Okay, thank you to Ben.
Thank you.
You got a yearly membership.
Guys, we are so close to covering my producer's salary.
I might cry.
I might cry if we cover the.
I have, I don't want to say many people, but if we cover all of the people so everyone has job security at the company, I will just be very excited that it'll be a good day.
So thank you guys so much.
I know I know what it takes to support like a YouTuber.
And I mean, it would take a lot for me to download a different app.
But I really see a future with this app, to be honest.
I really do.
I want to create, I want to take all of the writers that have been like driven out of Hollywood and all this Me Too stuff.
I really want to bring back 90s humor.
And yeah, thank you guys for helping me.
I couldn't do it.
I seriously couldn't do it without you guys.
Six is that you never feel deeply and truly seen or heard or validated by her.
Now, this may be a sort of narcissistic thing where, you know, as a result of her narcissism, you are an extension of her.
And so when you are achieving or when you're being good, you are the good child or the golden child.
And, you know, when you're not, she rejects you.
Or it just could be that at your core, you never felt truly seen or heard by her.
And then that kind of connects to all the other things around embarrassment and wounds and name calling or whatever.
And that requires her.
Someone said my ex-girlfriend's narcissistic mother ruined her marriage to her college boyfriend was a major factor in our splitting up.
She's 67 and her daughter's 25.
At the core, you really feel like there's this wide disconnect between her seeing you and loving you and accepting you for who you are, even if there are differences.
And the last one would be that you have an intense love-hate relationship.
Now, I think the love-hate can often align really well with borderline and splitting.
As I keep saying, you do get some good love, but it's also true with many other parents who have narcissism and things like that.
For the most part, unless they're on the extreme end, it's not all bad all of the time, though I know that it can be.
You can have good vacations with some parents who you don't have a good relationship with.
You can have some moments where it was good, but the vast majority of the time, you feel these intense emotions towards them.
And the way you really know is if you've said things like, I hate my mom, I hate her, and you're like a grown adult, right?
We're not talking about you're a teenager and your parents are driving you crazy and you trying to, and you're trying to, you know, become independent.
This is a full-on, you know, thing where obviously you wouldn't want to say out loud to many people, but you do have this deep love or deep hate, and they often coexist.
We're going to move on to the next one.
So this is a woman talking about her mother not liking her.
If you've ever felt like your own mother doesn't like you, I'm going to explain to you why this is.
Many of us.
So this is the competing mother, the mother that competes with her daughter.
Look for validation, acceptance, love from our mother.
And if your mother never received those things from her own mother.
Yeah, this is another one.
Women's behavior is always explained, right?
If men behave badly, it's never explained.
And right now, what she's going to do is she's going to say that the mom's behavior is because her mother did something instead of her choices.
She doesn't know what those things look like.
When you're asking someone to be a safe space for you, to take responsibility, to love you and be there for you in a way that you need, if they themselves have never received that, you're asking them something in a different language.
They don't even know where to start.
And we're going to do a call-in later.
And the reason a lot of mothers don't like their children is because their mothers also can't take that their time in the sun is over.
And they keep trying to extend it.
You know, now we have these old ladies and like movies and stuff.
Didn't like them.
And this is a very difficult and real truth that is in the area of generational trauma.
Because if your grandmother was someone who herself, someone in the chat, if you guys want your chats read, you have to go to the website.
You download the app when I'm live, and I do read the chats on here.
Steve likes the song.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, Joel.
He says I'm managing the studio.
Okay.
Fazelle said, Women never forgive or forget, even though each and every one of us came out of one.
Anna says, Can we gift a membership that can be given to someone at random in your audience?
I know you can gift a subscription if you look at the top.
I don't know if it can be given at random, but if you get someone's email, I think you can send it to them.
But you know, thanks for asking, Anna.
The mothers, all right, mothers treat their daughters the worst.
The first person to call a young girl too fat, too skinny, dressed like a slut, you look like your deadbeat dad, it's the mom.
Had trauma.
Herself didn't receive that safety, love, validation, emotional support from her mother.
She couldn't have given it to your mother.
So your mother ended up having a void within her that was never filled.
And now that void is filled with trauma, pain, and suffering that she doesn't even know how to look at if she hasn't self-reflected.
So how do you expect someone who has never received what it is you're asking for to give that to you?
The only person that could fulfill that void within you is yourself.
You can't ask someone who's never gotten love to love you because they don't even know what that looks like.
You are the only one that can fulfill that void within you and validate yourself.
This mother, this woman has a transactional mother.
I have a transactional mother.
She's not going to text me to see how my day is going or how I'm feeling.
She's not going to inquire about how business is going this week and whether or not I'm happy in my role or other audience.
She's going to hit me up because she needs something.
She's going to text me and when I open that text message, even though I may want to hear, I love you and I just wanted to say that I miss you very much, it's going to be like, hey, can you buy this off of Amazon for me?
Even though I've showed her 10,000 times how to do it herself.
She's not going to prioritize me when it comes to holiday season because she has things to do and she values other things more than she values family time.
After all, she's a business owner, so holidays mean big money where she's at.
So why would she take off to spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with her only daughter?
I have a transactional mother.
That's how she is.
It's who she is.
And I no longer look at the way she is as a reflection of who I am because I have a lot of heartfelt connections with wonderful people who see me for who I am.
They don't see me as a butler or chat GPT.
My mom treats me like I'm chat GPT.
She comes to me with questions and she expects answers.
And God forbid I ever make a point that she doesn't connect deeply enough with me.
She's going to say, I don't know where I went wrong.
I did everything I could.
Blah, She should have hired a butler, not had a daughter.
What's worse is I have a transactional mother that has a better relationship with my brother.
But I already made a TikTok about that.
I'm not going into detail with that.
I'm making this video because I have 16 messages and I felt super overwhelmed just looking at it.
And then I reminded myself, I have a transactional mother.
I can respond when I'm ready to.
If you can say that you have a transactional parent, I pray you have similar boundaries where you realize I ain't got to respond right now.
I'm not ready.
I don't feel like it.
I will come to you when I'm ready.
I hope you have a similar boundary.
I hope you don't feel pressured to respond right away.
You are not chat GPT, babes.
You are not chat GPT.
Make sure, no matter how transactional your parent is, whenever you feel that guilt, you remind yourself that it's only because you're familiar with having to respond in this way.
They raised you in an environment of urgency when they had a need because they selfishly wanted you to meet that need.
Instead of realizing I don't have everything I need to parent properly and I need to figure out a way to, you know, make up for this and compensate for this, they made it your responsibility.
And that's why a lot of us became adults at early ages.
I have a transactional parent.
I know all about it.
If you need help creating some boundaries and processing some of the feelings you have around having a transactional parent, hit me up.
I have some slots available.
Okay, the mother is the victim in every story.
Look, you need to understand that your mother will always be the victim in the story between both of y'all.
So if you try to hold her accountable, if you try to tell her how she's hurt you in the past, because of maternal narcissism, because of her narcissism, she is always going to be the victim in the story.
Let me tell you why.
Because of this perspective, and because she has the title of mother, she's always right.
And she knows best because at the end of the day, she's the mother.
So when she is confronted with issues that she may have caused, she cannot see past like how could she be the problem if she is a mother and she's always right and she did the best she could.
Well, this leads her to portray herself as the victim in the story between both of y'all every single time.
And it makes you look like the ungrateful child who is challenging a mother who was only doing her best.
Yeah, mothers always are the victims.
Three things a narcissistic mother does that cause you trauma.
One, behaving completely differently in front of others compared to how she behaved in private towards you.
That's the thing.
They'll have like two personalities.
People wondering why you're so unpleasant towards her and thinking you're ungrateful.
Number two, creating splits within the family by assigning words to each of the children.
The golden child, the scapegoat, and the lost child.
Number three, when something bad happens to others, instead of offering support, all attention focuses on her.
And somehow the story becomes her person.
Anna says it's good to sort out your shit and improve yourself, but keep that process in your head.
We don't need the transactional diatribe on TikTok, ladies.
Hey, don't listen to it.
Don't listen to Anna.
I need these for my show.
Anna, hush.
Have you looked in the Jesse Lee Peterson videos on this topic as well?
A lot of callers report the same stuff when confronting their mothers.
I've seen a little bit, but you can feel free to send me stuff.
We're going to do a call at the end of the show.
I don't love my mother.
And whenever I make that statement, it ignites a ton of people and a ton of judgment.
She brought you into this world.
You know, I owe her gratitude.
I owe her love.
When the fact of the matter is, she owed me safety and nurturing and love.
This little girl, the only thing she ever experienced in connection to her mother, the only thing I ever experienced in connection to my mother, boomer mothers do terrible jobs, did a terrible job as parents.
And then they're mad at the kids because the kids don't like them.
And there's like whole articles about kids ghosting the parents.
Fear and absolute terror.
And that was the result of the emotional violence, the emotional abuse that she perpetrated against me.
So no, I don't love my mother because that's not what she grew between us.
And I wish I did.
And I wish she had.
Emotionally absent mother?
I'm an emotionally absent mother.
What's that mean?
It means that I'm insensitive or unaware of your emotional needs.
I seem like I'm an involved parent.
I'm at school functions, I'm at your games, but I take very little interest in how you think or what you feel.
I don't really know how to comfort you when you're upset or how to see your perspective about anything at all.
That doesn't sound good.
She said that doesn't sound good.
No, I disconnected from my emotions years ago.
I've been completely shut down.
So anytime you're upset, I get super uncomfortable and pretty much just ignore what's happening.
It's my only coping mechanism.
Okay, so how will this impact me?
Well, I'm not empathetic to anything you go through.
I'll just tell you to stop making a big deal out of things.
Or I might not even notice that you're going through something at all.
You'll notice my disconnection, though, and you'll do all you can to win my love, trying to be perfect and overachieving.
You won't have the space to develop a healthy sense of self.
You won't know who you are.
And at the same time, you'll feel conflicted about me.
You'll know how much I do and sacrifice for you.
And you'll be angry at me because you know something is really missing here because you have this deep sense of loneliness, even when we're together.
That's funny, okay?
I'm going to put on an Audacity Network show while I go set up the Zoom link.
This is another woman I please.
Dang it.
Ah, come on.
Okay.
Well, this is another woman I kicked out, but I guess I'll put on one from this because I can't log in while I'm on.
I can't switch the cameras.
It just says what it is.
Pearl Davis pre-game show.
I'm sure there's something on YouTube.
Here we go.
This full thing is on my website, too.
What up, guys?
Welcome to the Just Pearly Things YouTube channel and welcome to the pregame.
Okay.
Before I start, do not forget to subscribe to the channel and ring that notification bell that way you're going to be notified of my daily videos.
Like the video on your way in.
We have a special panel tonight.
But before we get to that, a couple announcements before we start the show.
The first is that we have two Clips channels, Just Pearly Clips and Pearl Daily.
Make sure you go subscribe to both of those.
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And thank you for 800K.
And thank you for 100 episodes.
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Thank you guys again.
Okay, so why don't we go around and have everyone on the panel introduce yourself?
Say your name, your age, your relationship status.
Where are you from?
All right, guys.
I just emailed myself the Zoom link.
I'm going to have Doug is going to call in.
Or we're going to put in the chat.
So if you guys have a mother's story, tell me about your mothers.
And if you come in to tell me your mother was an angel, this just isn't the show for that.
Please stop.
You know what I mean?
It's like, I hate it when someone comes in and it's like their life mission to tell me.
If you guys have a mother's story, hold on.
Their mother was perfect.
I'm like, okay.
Let me put this on the website too.
I'm going to put it over here.
This computer.
Okay, I put it in both.
Yeah, so tell me your mother's stories.
what's been going on guys?
One mother's story I realized was that pretty much all women have been alienated from their dads.
It's like universal.
So I had one friend growing up.
The story was always that her dad was this evil monster, right?
And he would get deployed for like nine months at a time.
So that was the only story we had.
Turned out this all was cheating.
Yeah.
Sounds about right.
Yeah, she was cheating, you know.
Hey, Doug, how's it going?
Do you got a mother story for me?
Yeah, so if anyone's been on any of the live streams on my channel, or actually, I told this on Pearl's channel multiple times, but I'll tell it again.
So, you know, I'll say it.
This has nothing to do with Pearl, everyone.
This is Doug NPA saying it.
I always know when you say this, it's going to be a race thing.
Well, you know what?
Hey, you know what?
Thanks.
Thank you.
Put it in the chat.
Black mothers are the worst.
American black mothers are the worst mothers on the planet, and you can't tell me different.
Now they say, Doug NPA, how can you talk about black mothers like that?
What about your mom?
Yeah, my mom was lawful to me too.
In fact, I used to run a mentorship group where I would mentor AJ and I would mentor young African immigrant and African-American men.
Okay.
And it was just a brotherhood.
All of us had awful mothers, all of us.
Every single one, because you can't tell them nothing.
You know, they have all these outs to taking accountability.
Well, I put a roof over your head.
I put food in your belly.
You know, what are you complaining about?
You know, so anyway, so I hate using these terms, but I don't know how to put it.
Like, my mother was verbally and emotionally abusive.
I grew up in a verbally emotionally abusive household.
And, you know, my parents were married, but my dad worked a lot.
He worked all the time.
My dad was high-value.
And so we were literally left at home with our mom.
And like our mom, it's like, well, first off, we got spanked when we were young, but you know, I'm a twin.
So we, I'm just awful.
She said the worst things possible.
And it was just awful.
The worst thing that you, all of the tactics that you said in your monologue, my mom did it.
Shame, insult, guilt.
They need to be right.
Lacking.
What was the worst one?
Like, do you, is there one that like sticks out to you?
Oh, yeah.
Like maybe a specific story you have?
I wish you were never born all the time.
She would say that.
Holy shit.
Oh, yep.
Yep.
Yep.
She'd say all this stuff.
And, you know, or all the, it's just, it was just awful.
Or what's the worst when they say mom's worth?
Sorry, go ahead.
It's like the worst is when they like think they can do anything because they gave birth to you.
You're like, it's one day.
Yeah.
That was one day.
Go ahead.
I carried you for nine months, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff.
Right.
And so the thing about my mom is my mom, she was a depressed, miserable person, and her goal was to constantly make the house that way.
So I grew up in an environment where there's a person in the house that just, her goal was to make things uncomfortable for you.
So you were always on edge because she'd always say something harmful.
She'd find a way to turn any good news, anything going on with your life.
So we just stopped sharing things with her, you know, any accomplishments, anything like that, because she's going to find a way to tear it down.
And also, my mother was one of those mothers where she should have been doing the emotional maintenance on us to foster us into healthy adults, but we had to do the emotional maintenance on her to constantly validate that she was a good mother, even though she wasn't.
How would she try to ruin your day because she was depressed?
So, like, how would you do a day-to-day?
I'm just wondering.
So, just she would listen.
How am I going to put this here?
She'd always find a way to insult you.
Always.
About everything.
Even stuff that you can't even think that you get insulted about.
All of your hopes, all your dreams, she's tearing it all down.
Can I have an example?
So I was about to say, can I have an example?
And then you start to go.
So, you know, I got accepted to the school.
I always went to community college first.
And I got accepted to the school I always wanted to go to.
And I knew that I transferred from community college to university.
And I knew I was really happy, but I didn't want to tell my mom because I knew that she was going to find a way to tear it down.
Right.
So, I didn't tell my mom till two days before I was going to leave.
And the last thing that she said to me before I moved, I had my car packed.
I was ready to drive down there.
And the last thing that she said to me was, I don't know why you're going down there because all you're going to do is fail out and end up on our couch.
Then, what are you going to do?
And it wasn't like you, you don't seem like you were a bad student in high school.
No, I wasn't.
Yeah, like it doesn't seem like you seem like a pretty responsible person.
So, I ended up moving across the country to get a job because I moved back in my parents after I got my graduate degree, and my mom was doing the same thing.
And I literally moved across the country because my mom was just too much, right?
And the day before I left, my mom asked me why I was leaving.
And I said, It's because of you because I hate you.
You're just awful to me my whole life.
And then she said to me, You guys ready?
She said, I hate you when you're here, but I miss you when you're gone.
Wow.
And that summed up my entire childhood with my mom right there.
Right?
So, but there is a part two to this story.
So, my parents ended up divorcing after like 30 some odd years.
And my mom had never lived by herself ever because she went from her parents' house to the military and then she got married, whatever.
So, she was living by herself, and then she started going to therapy.
And she called me up out of the blue.
And first off, my mom never called me.
I was like, Hey, what's up?
And she's like, Hey, could I talk to you?
She's like, Yeah.
I said, Yeah.
And I was expecting the usual BS.
And my mom's like, You know, I want to apologize for being so terrible to you your whole life.
And I want to apologize to all you kids because I was just terrible to you.
The reason why I say the term scumbag is that's what my mom said.
My mom said that she was a scumbag to me most of my life.
And then, guys, she had a bulleted list of events in my life that she wanted to apologize for.
So, remember in third grade when I did this to you?
Remember, I didn't know women could apologize.
Yeah, I didn't either.
Wow.
I didn't either.
So, she said in fifth grade and seventh grade, like she had specific situations.
Oh, yeah, yep.
Uh-huh.
And then, so it was about 45 minutes because she went down the whole list and I was just speechless.
And then she said, I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the fact that I was so terrible to you.
And she's been doing it, guys.
I literally have mom 2.0 right now.
She is a completely different person than she was when I was young.
She actually did the work.
You know, I just, I remember one time we were talking because she was trying to act like nothing happened.
And then a couple of times I just unloaded on her and just let her know all the terrible things she did to me.
And she just sat there and just took it.
And so now her and I have a great relationship.
And I can't believe it, guys.
I really can't.
Like, she did the work to try to, and she's doing the work right now to try to be a better mother to all of us kids.
You know, I can call her and talk to her now without having to, without worry about stepping on a hand, on a landmine, you know.
Like, she's emotional.
She just, she, she apologized.
She took accountability.
And I have mom 2.0.
I have mom 2.0 now.
Now, the biggest problem is I meet a lot of guys who aren't where I'm at yet.
And I feel so bad for him because it's some heavyweight, guys.
It is some heavyweight.
When your mom is an absolute scumbag, it hurts.
And it doesn't get any better.
All you can do is just get used to it.
Yeah.
And even that won't happen.
So, you know, I consider myself fortunate.
You know, from when I was 35 and 4, my mom has been a completely different person.
But the first 35 years of my life, she was the worst person in my life.
Just absolutely terrible.
And I grew up in the suburbs where there was a lot of, you know, stereotypical moms, you know, housewives and stuff.
And I would go to my friends' house and see how warm and nurturing their moms were.
And then I'd go home to my house.
And my mom's a demon.
Right.
And it's like, it's not fair.
Why did I get stuck with this?
And so, you know, I consider myself fortunate that my mom has done what she's done because a lot of people will never get that.
And guys, a lot of people will say, whoa, your biggest problem is you keep wanting from your mom what she's never going to give you.
But that doesn't make it make it any easier.
It's your mom.
Like your family, your mother and your father and your family could hurt you like nobody else.
So, but yeah, my mom did the actual work.
She still has a little, it comes out a little bit.
I still have to have social boundaries.
But yeah, for the most part, mom 2.0 is in full effect.
That's crazy.
I wonder, has anyone else had that happen?
Call in, if so.
Who are the Bears?
Someone says, interview the Barrett.
Have you heard of them?
Uh-uh.
You said there's someone else on the line?
Yeah.
And just, let me just reiterate, guys.
Like I said in the chat, black mothers, not all, but most are the worst mothers on the planet because you can't tell them nothing.
They're strong, independent, blah, blah, blah.
And 55% of violent crimes are perpetuated by black people.
It's true.
It's a stat.
But the reason why is all these single mothers, guys, all these B-dub single moms.
And it's sad.
Everything in the black community comes from single mothers.
All the bad things come from single mothers.
So, guys, if you don't have any children, even if you do, stay away from single moms.
Don't date them.
Don't sleep with them.
Don't marry them.
Leave them alone.
Anyway, the next person is JC Jackson.
Are you there?
Unmute.
Hey, yeah.
Can you hear me?
Yeah.
Hey, JC.
How's it going?
It's good.
Good to be back.
But say, I had a pretty bad mom as well.
Just because he brought up the race, I'm white, so it was white mother.
So this thing is not race exclusive.
I grew up with my mother with all the stereotype things, but the worst thing about it was probably the tooth-facedness.
Like, my mom did the whole stereotype where when friends and family come over, she was very, very almost too perfect.
And when they left, that's when the trouble really started.
So, but so I heard, I heard all the same things like he said.
I think, but I left home at 17 to mainly to get away from her, joined the military and left at 17, and she hated me for that.
But say I'm 32 now.
I haven't gotten mom 2.0 yet.
I'm hoping that happens because she still behaves the same way.
Yeah.
But I would say the worst thing that happened to me, because all the stereotypical stuff happened to me where, you know, they scream at you.
Every once in a while, they'll hit you.
Every once they'll make sure any day you have off of school as a teenager is still doing chores or her just running around the house mad.
But the worst thing that probably happened was when I was an adult and my grandfather, so my mother's father gifted her some land, gifted her land, put a house on it.
And she, for some odd reason, was dating this guy and wanting to move in with him.
She was twice divorced, no third marriage yet.
I can see why.
But she said, okay, well, I don't want this house anymore.
And I said, okay, well, I will take it over.
It's on my family.
It's on my family land.
It's on my grandfather's land.
Grandfather's done nothing wrong.
So I took over the mortgage.
I started paying it.
But it's still in my mom's name because she ain't signed anything over to me yet.
She sells it to someone else after I've been paying the mortgage and stuff on it, just sells it and just announces it at a family meeting.
Like, yeah, yeah, everybody knew.
Yeah, yeah.
I told her.
I told JC, yeah, he was aware I was going to sell it.
No, I did.
I got blindsided.
And the couple's right there.
It was a gentleman and his wife, and the wife was pregnant.
So, like, I couldn't flip my shit.
I couldn't flip my shit in front of a pregnant woman.
That'd be inappropriate.
But yeah, that was one of the worst things that ever happened.
And then we got into a fight maybe a year or two ago where she started to want to come around for like grandkids, but she would play very weird favoritism with the grandkids.
And like, she started doing the mind games with the grandkids, like wanting to talk to my kids behind closed doors about when me and her had a heart argument.
And I just, I just, I told my mom, I said, look, you got to get lost.
Like, if we didn't have grandkids, or I wouldn't have nothing to do with you.
And my mother sat there and said, all right, well, then lose my number.
I said, dumbass, I know where you live.
Like, what do you mean?
Yeah.
Wow.
So she would try to manipulate your grandkids and turn them against you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, like, we got to get her.
Sorry, her grandkids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you're good.
You're good.
Yeah, we got into a massive argument, and she wanted to go talk to my daughter.
And she tried showing my daughter's door.
I said, Oh, you leave that fucking door open.
And because I made her leave the door open, she wouldn't even talk to her and she left the house.
Yeah.
So I had to record us getting into a fight.
She came over and got into a fight with me one day.
I had to hit record on my phone, put it in my pocket so where the phone camera was hanging out so she couldn't tell we were being recorded.
I had to record the fight so my dad, my grandmother, and my grandfather could all see what she was like behind closed doors because they just date.
Right.
The whole family.
What would she do?
Like, could I have like a play-by-play of what the fight was?
So generally, she'd come in, you know, slam the door open way too hard like normal, usually scream my name.
And then she'd just start flipping on me about something that either I didn't know about or is, you know, honestly none of her fucking business.
Like one time my daughter called me to ask me permission for something and I said no.
And my grandma, and she's there with my mom because she's with my, she's with my grandmom, but my grandmother.
And my, my mother's mother's not in good terms.
I try to do the right thing.
Why?
Oh my God.
You think that's the right thing?
You want her to torture the grandkid too?
Sorry.
Yeah, like, like I said, this is before I cut her off, like, that argument I told you about.
Every man tries to do the right thing for a while with their moms.
Like, like last guy said.
She would just come in here and scream at me, and she would do this thing.
And I know a lot of men know about this.
Your mom will kind of buck up at you because, A, let's be real, they know they can't win the fight, but they know most of us won't hit them.
Yeah, I was just about to say that she can buck up because you're never going to raise your hand at your mom.
Yeah, I've noticed this a lot.
Like, she would do it every argument.
And I'm just like, and I, one time, I just had to, I like, look, you know, I could throw you through that wall, right?
Like, and so she would hit you.
Would she hit you like in the face on the arm?
How would it usually go?
Um, it's mainly pushes to the chest, like okay, like open palm, like, you know, pushing somebody in the chest, like just that.
I don't know how to describe it, but they're egging you on.
They want you to do something, yeah.
And it's just it, that type of stuff happens, and no one believed me because she would, what she would do is she would go run and she would spin her side of the story to my dad, to my grandparents, because you know, it's, I mean, and then I would hear about it.
Like, I would get a call from my grandparents.
So, what did you do?
What, what, what happened?
I'm like, I didn't do anything.
I was sitting here, mind my own business.
And she just came at me ill about something.
And, like I said, I had to record her to get proof for people to believe me.
I still have a little cousin, a little female cousin that's, well, she's not little, but she's like, she's just turned like 19, 20.
But this cousin is ugly to me to this day because she thinks I'm mean and disrespectful to my mother.
I'm like, no.
Yeah, she's two-faced, and some of them just have never seen it.
Yep.
And she put a not she put not a deep, but like a like a she put like a slight scar on me on my neck like before the week before I left for the military because when she found out I was leaving for the military, she like tried to choke me out.
And I was like 17 years old.
I still could have outpowered her, but I didn't fight back.
Yeah.
And so like one of her, one of her nails like, you know, scratched up my neck pretty good.
It had like, like the week before I left for the military.
That was a fun little explaining.
Like, hey, recruit, where'd you show up with that?
Some of them probably understood.
They're like, yeah, it's happened to me, you know.
But yeah, but yeah, I'm, but I'm, I'm 32 years old.
My mother's 22 years older than me, so that makes her 54.
And like, she, she still acts like this to this day.
It's that, it's that weird bit of like feminism and aggressiveness that like it doesn't matter where you're from.
Like, um, some people, like, uh, feminism just seeps so deep in, they don't even understand what they're doing.
And I'm like, she, and, and she's like, I always say white women are more sneaky with their aggression.
Like, white women, that's just my observations.
Like, black women put their aggression up front, or white women, it's like, like, I had a divorce attorney say that he did not, he feared he would never marry a white woman because of how brutal they were in divorce court.
Yeah, white women are tended to be two-faced with black women are openly aggressive.
Yeah.
And then Latinos, we accept they're aggressive because most of the time they're hots.
That's funny.
Okay.
Well, thank you for JC.
We'll call anytime, okay?
No worries.
And Tom, are you there?
I'm mute.
I'm here.
Hey, Tom, how's it going?
Doing well.
How are you?
I'm good.
What do you have on the topic?
What was your mother like?
She enjoyed violence, physical.
She enjoyed it.
And she, I didn't know until my 30s that she was the one that had broke my leg when I was two.
Wow.
No way.
Yeah, she slipped up in a communication when she was, you know how they how people who are trying to cover up a lie, how they'll slip sometimes because they're in the moment.
Right.
She was carrying on about something about her victimhood and how my dad was always cheating on her and whatnot and how horrible it was for her.
And then she slipped and said, and you know, and then that's what caused me to, you know, do what I did to you when you were two.
Up until that point, I thought that I had fallen on the stairs.
Wow.
Tom, did you ever go through, so was she physically violent your whole childhood?
Yeah.
Did you ever get to the point where she, especially when you got older, you got taller than her or whatever, where you did the catch the hand where she tried to hit you and you caught her wrist?
Did you ever do that?
Yeah.
I knew it.
I knew it.
Most of my friends who had violent mothers, just one day you realize she takes a swing at you and you just catch her hand.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, that happened.
Go ahead.
Yeah, I caught her hand.
And then that was the one moment my dad stepped in.
So I thought my dad up to that point was just scared of her or something.
But he was enabling her.
And at that moment, I figured it out because he said, well, if you don't hit a woman and if you hit your mother, because I was holding her hands and she was like really hard trying to get out.
And he told me to let go of her.
And I said, well, she's going to hit me.
And he said, you don't touch a woman.
And if you do that, you got to, you're going to deal with me.
And my dad, at that time, could have took me because I was 14 or something, 15 maybe.
What did your dad do for occupation, if you don't mind me asking?
He was a scam artist.
Oh, okay.
Sorry.
I wasn't expecting that answer.
Sorry.
Okay.
What did he scam people on?
And he always had some sort of a entrepreneur thing.
Yeah.
So they did things like, they did things like Amley and Shackley and stuff like that in her.
Yeah.
And then and then what he would do is he would start businesses and then it was like my job to to work the business and try to figure out how to make it work.
You know, it's a teenager.
No.
So usually it was involved with him just telling a big story to somebody that had some money and then taking their money and then not doing anything.
He got probably he took my money too.
We couldn't pay the rent and stuff.
So I went to work very young.
And that's how he enforced it was my mother would come and just physically take my money from me.
Do you still have a relationship with your mom at all, or did you have to end up cutting her off?
After the incident where I found out that she had broke my leg, I figured it sounds strange, but it didn't dawn on me until then that I wasn't the problem.
Wow.
So you were in your 30s when you figured it out.
Yeah.
And I started figuring it out in my 20s when I had kids.
And your kids reached these milestones and you're like, oh my God, she was doing X, Y, or Z at this time.
I can't imagine doing this to my children.
And then you're like, okay, well, maybe I was just an exceptionally bad kid.
Well, and that's what she said, of course.
She would refer to me to the rest of the family as the black sheep.
And I was the reason why.
Did you ever go to therapy?
And had that helped you figure out it was not normal?
Or was raising your own kids the catalyst where you really started to figure out that what she went through wasn't normal?
Because it's usually one of the two.
It's my ex-wife.
I married kind of a combination of my mom and my dad, which is the worst of both worlds.
And so, and as people who've gone through this know, that's what you do.
You subconsciously or I was subconsciously trying to fix my parents by marrying the traits that they had.
And so I found out the nice thing about the whole situation is that my ex-wife trained me in life.
Like I found out everything through her, all of the actions that she took, because now I'm an adult and I have, when I'm married to her, I have autonomy and I could see everything that I was and I and I could go out and make money and I could go out and I could negotiate and take a non-violent approach to arguments.
And I learned through that that if somebody enjoys violence, they will engage in violence and it doesn't matter how you approach.
I'm going to ask you one more question.
So did you deal with a whole lot from your girlfriends, like a whole lot of foolishness from your wives and girlfriends?
Because situations like that, it kind of raised you with the mindset that you should like the virtue of a man or the virtue of a person is just enduring.
Were you one of those kind of people where you just endure?
People will say, how are you so patient or how do you put up with so much?
Were you one of those kind of people?
I was a complete simp.
There you go.
I knew it.
And it was primarily because I fell for my mom's victim stories.
If, you know, if she hadn't something happened, something hadn't happened to her.
You know, if my dad wasn't such an ass or whatever, then everything would be fine or that she wouldn't have to do these things.
And for example, I thought that I thought she was a clean freak growing up because she had me clean the house for my family with six people.
And I was the housekeeper for the entire family.
And she would come home and with this bright red carpet and cats with white fur and the fur would show up really easy.
So I was really fastidious about cleaning all of it and everything.
And she would come and glued.
And, you know, I won't tell you what she did, but you can all imagine.
And later on, I thought that it was just because she was such a clean freak.
And then I moved out of the house.
And then their house turned into a disaster.
And my dad's a hoarder.
And so it just, he just hoarded it up.
And I was like, what, what's going on here?
And she's like, oh, I just, you know, I just haven't gotten around to it.
And so I realized that she just enjoyed having a slave.
It was really more about that and less about being clean.
So it was a, it was a way to control you, basically.
Yeah, it was a control technique.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, you know, to answer Doug's previous question, you don't really ever get over it because what people don't understand about this sort of thing is if you're abused as a toddler, your world isn't safe.
You don't socialize properly with other children.
And I didn't.
And so I had no friends and the other kids stayed for obvious reasons.
I just had massive behavioral problems.
And so it's a lifelong damage.
And the biggest thing that didn't happen was nobody in the neighborhood said anything.
I look back on it.
I'm like, it was obvious that she was a monster.
And we had a very large extended family.
My grandmother didn't do anything about it.
My other grandparents didn't do anything about it.
Nobody in the neighborhood did anything about it.
The teachers didn't do anything about it.
And she constantly threatened.
She's like, we're going to, you know, if you say anything, then you're going to get taken to foster care and they're going to, and it's going to even be worse there.
And I, and later on as an adult, I was like, well, it wouldn't, no, it wouldn't have been worse.
It couldn't have been.
That's crazy.
Well, thank you for sharing, Tom.
We really appreciate it.
And, you know, it's good to tell stories like this because I guess before I, you know, I used to have a mentorship group and a lot of the guys I used to mentor, we would just share stories.
And they were younger than me.
And I would share my story and it would kind of help them make sense of their situation.
And I'm pretty sure that your story is going to help a lot of guys in the chat and who are going to watch this make sense of their situation.
So thank you for sharing.
We really appreciate it.
Calling anytime, okay?
Yeah, just let them know it's not them.
That's the biggest thing.
They think I thought it until I was in my 30s.
Okay.
All right.
Is it J-A-M-E J Jane?
Are you there?
J-A-M-E Jane?
I can't believe she had a two, broke a two-year-old's leg.
That's insane.
Did you see there's this nurse that was breaking babies' legs and arms in the hospital?
Yeah, she's being tried right now.
It was awful.
Okay.
Thompson, unmute.
You're still muted?
You are still muted, my friend.
You're still muted.
Also, we just had another sign up.
Hello.
Thank you, John.
Thank you, John, for signing up, guys.
Three more signups would be great this show.
Sorry, what was the name, Doug?
Or what was it?
Thompson?
Thompson.
Hi, welcome to the show, Thompson.
Hey, Phil.
How you going?
I'm good.
How are you?
Yeah, not too bad.
Oh, are you in England?
Pretty good actually.
No, I'm Australian.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, Australia.
Nice.
First up, you know, I got a, if you're one of our Canadian brothers or Australian brothers, Thompson, I'm glad you made another day, man, because Canada and Australia are both feminist hellholes that hate men.
So thank you for being here and thank you for making it another day.
Yeah, geez, brother.
Now, there's a lot of misandry here, man.
You know, especially the last few years, you know?
Do you have anything on the topic?
I'm not too really sure to talk about.
I just kind of wanted to say, like, after my parents' tumultuous marriage, I've never really been able to fall in love.
I've had girlfriends and stuff, but they've never really lasted very long.
And go ahead.
I'm sorry.
And do you think that's from your parents or like, was it from your mother?
It's a lot to do with the way that my mum used to treat my dad.
But then my dad was like, my dad would always bash her up, you know?
So by the time I was 15, 16, I'd be fist fighting my dad on the front lawn.
And even the cops would come over and the cops wouldn't even do nothing, really.
They just, you know, tell my dad to keep it down and shit like that.
But I think it stems more from my mum, to be honest with you.
Yeah.
How so?
Just kind of like the last two were saying, like, I feel like she's definitely a bit of a monster too.
Like, just exactly like the last bloke was saying.
And everyone else knew it, you know, but no one really decided to step in and put a stop to it.
You know?
And my parents got divorced because my dad died of a heart attack as well, like 10 years ago.
And so have the girls you dated, have they been like your mother or have they been different?
They've been a little bit different, but I can just never connect with them, you know?
Well, I, so you can, you can apply, okay.
When I was mentoring my mentees, and one of them would say, Doug and P, I'm just not happy at work.
I'd say, why do you think that you get to be happy at work?
Like, why do you expect to be happy at work?
Like, most people aren't, right?
So take that out of the equation and see how you feel about your job.
And I can kind of say that about love, love in a relationship.
Okay.
I think that respect comes first.
Utility comes second.
Love comes third.
Thank you, Kevin Samuels, for that.
Love is a feeling that comes and goes.
So, when you're getting to know a woman, see if she could earn your respect first, and then you can build a life together where you're both living a life that you can't live by yourself, and then love should come after that.
So, don't think that love is the most important thing to get in a relationship because it's not.
Love is a feeling, it comes and goes.
But people have to earn and maintain your respect, okay?
So, I would recommend don't be looking for love so much.
Look for a woman that respects you first.
Men want respect, women want love, okay?
So, maybe don't focus so much on loving a woman if she earns your respect and you guys are in a relationship or you get married, whatever, you're living a life to a quality life that you can't live by yourself, the love will come.
Yeah, definitely, man.
Yeah, I'm definitely big on respect, too.
I think that yeah, I think that's why I probably couldn't fall in love with them because I just felt like they didn't respect me, you know, yeah, as well.
Do you still have a relationship with your mother, or no?
Uh, yes, I do.
I don't live with my mom, but I still go around and uh help her sometimes if she needs it.
How do you does she ask you for help, or do you give it to her freely, like willingly?
A little bit of both, man, to be honest with you, you know.
Because I'm out of all my siblings, I probably live the closest.
Yeah, I do live the closest, actually, yeah, to my mom.
Okay, well, um, you know, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
Uh, 29.
Yeah, you got plenty of time left.
Keep your head down because when you hit 35, man, if you if you put in any kind of work to be uh if you have a highly valued skill, highly valued trade, highly value education, and you're building towards something, bro, once you hit 35, the whole world opens up, man.
I'm telling you, so just keep your head down.
Just really think about this whole love thing I told you, man.
Don't be looking for love, respect, utility, love comes after that.
Yeah, definitely, Mike.
Definitely.
Well, thanks, thanks, for having me on, guys.
Thanks, Pearl.
Yeah, thanks for calling in.
Call in anytime, okay?
No worries.
No worries, Mike.
Take it easy.
Thank you.
And then James is still there.
Jam, are you there?
Yeah, yeah, I'm here.
James or James?
James.
James.
I've never heard someone with that name before.
Yeah, yeah, it's been my name for a minute now.
Yeah, I like it.
It's a nice name.
What's your mother's story?
So I guess my story is not as bad as everyone else's, but my mom had me pretty young.
She was 15 when she had me.
Oh, wow.
So she was a kid raising a kid.
I'm the oldest of seven.
I have a pretty unique lifestyle now.
And I think that the way that things have gone with my mom when I was younger kind of spearheaded that.
I guess I can say that because she was a kid, she was with a lot of guys that weren't my that wasn't my dad.
So a lot of different dudes in my life from a young age.
How many fathers to the seven kids?
Shit.
My mom's black.
I'm black.
I want to say, I don't have any siblings with the same dad.
So, seven different, oh my gosh, that's crazy.
No family.
No, seven.
Right.
So, so it's just, it's, it was crazy, right?
She's trying to figure out her life while still trying to be my mom.
So, obviously, you know, that comes with problems.
I remember in high school, uh, you know, fighting her boyfriend at the time, you know, and you know, her even looking conflicted with her 16-year-old and her boyfriend, like whose side to choose, yeah, just you know, how things were.
So, so for me, um, I think that that uh that affected me, but I think I used it in a more positive way.
Um, because like I was the one who was telling you guys to interview my family because I have I have right now, I have five wives, I live in LA and we have 11 kids.
And so, one of the ways that I kind of put all that together was because I didn't want to be absent in my kids' lives because what happened to my, you know, to me when I was a child.
Do you have five wives in LA?
Yeah, what do you do for a living?
Are you rich?
Are you rich?
Like, that sounds like an expensive lifestyle.
I used to live in, I'm from Chicago and I live there and I do real estate.
So, that's like the main thing that I do.
I invest as well, so that's kind of what I do.
Are you Muslim?
No, I'm not.
There's no religion.
I'm just wondering how you sold this to the women in the West.
I just feel like I don't know many.
I know women that would be side chicks, but not like it's weird, right?
Women will be side chicks, but they won't be a second wife.
Isn't that weird?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I mean, I never thought about that, Pearl.
That's a good point.
No, I'm like, there's so many women that do the side chick thing in situationship, but it's like they won't be a second wife.
I don't know.
I don't know any of that.
Well, apparently, they will, according to you.
So, I'm curious.
Honestly, Pearl, I think we would have a good conversation.
If you guys ever feel, if you have free time, check out our family page and you might get curious.
What's it called?
It's Next Gen Barrett.
They're saying you're right.
Is it the picture?
Like, you're in the middle, a blonde, and there's like it looks like you got like an Asian, three Latinas, and a blonde.
Is that right?
No, no, no, it's four Latinas and a blonde.
Oh, okay.
The picture is kind of blurry.
I couldn't tell.
Wow, so you have 11 kids?
Are you from Chicago too?
Yeah, I'm from Chicago.
Did you grow up in Deep Page?
No.
Oh, oh, wife, one.
So do they get jealous?
Yeah, like, I mean, it's there's so much to talk about, but I think that it's a good conversation to have.
Maybe your viewers might like it.
Yeah, maybe in LA soon.
Maybe I can.
I'm going to have to set that up because that sounds interesting as well.
I don't know if the people post on YouTube as much, but IG, you definitely see a lot of hate.
And they're calling, they're saying like a lot of red appeal.
And people were telling me, like, hey, hit up Pearl.
She definitely would love you.
So I was like, for sure.
Yeah.
I'm going to be in LA.
You said you're in LA.
I'll be there in April.
So maybe I could bring up camera crew and just see.
Yeah, come to the house.
Come to the house.
Cool.
Wow.
And so you essentially did this because did you feel like you couldn't be monogamous?
I'm guessing.
Yeah, exactly.
Like really early in my life.
I was like, you know, it just wasn't for me.
And I was lying at first, a lot of cheating, to be honest with you.
And then I was like, and then I started having kids.
And that's when things kind of changed because certain girls that I was having kids with, like, those kids didn't see me as much.
Right.
And I started to feel kind of guilty because of what I dealt with with my mom's decisions and not finding the right man to bring, you know, and him being an absent father.
I didn't want to be like that to my other kids, even though they weren't my main girl.
So I was like, let me bring all of this together.
And then once I brought it all together, I was like, actually, this relationship works out for me too.
And so this is so sorry.
I'm looking at the TikToks.
This is so interesting.
And so do you like pitch this to new women right away or is it something you kind of ease them into?
No, no, you definitely would have to ease in a woman into it.
And I mean, right now, because we're kind of like, you know, blowing up on IG and TikTok, women are actually reaching out to us.
They're asking to be six.
Like, they're like, oh, can I be wife six?
Like, I have probably like 20 women that hit our DMs every day saying, like, do you need a six wife?
I was actually talking to another podcaster today, and he made a good point.
He said something along the lines of like, you're basically showing off what it would be like to be a wife.
So it actually works out better for you because it's like the women does when they go with monogamous men, they have to guess how it's going to be rather than with you.
They already know how it's going to be.
They see the other five and they can guess that it's going to be similar to that experience.
And so do you still date?
Like, because I mean, five women, like, do you feel a need to date more than that?
Like, are you still sourcing new women?
I actually tell most girls no.
I might, like, if the girl is really cute, I might say something and show the girls, like, hey, you guys think she's cute?
They might say yes or no, but I mean, it's not something that we're focused on.
I'm obviously busy with work and shit like that.
So, yeah, it's not something like that's a priority.
Yeah.
How long have you done it for?
Bringing them all together, it's only been like three years.
But I've been with all these girls, like most of them, six, actually, all of them, six years plus.
I'm 30 now.
We're all like 30.
And what would you do if one of them wanted to leave?
Would you, like, how would you navigate that?
I mean, I would let them go and then, you know, we'd have to figure it out with the kids, you know?
It's not like a situation where they're like stuck or in a cold or anything like that.
Yeah, no, no, no, I can tell.
But okay, that's interesting.
I might take you up on it.
Are you on Twitter?
No, I'm not.
No, I'm not.
Instagram?
Yeah, Instagram.
I'm on TikTok, Instagram, and I guess YouTube.
If you DM me on Just Pearly Things official, maybe we could set it up because I'm very intrigued.
This is interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that on your IG?
Is that your IG?
Yeah, it's Just Pearly Things Official.
I'm looking on YouTube.
This sounds off, but you guys have a TikTok page.
Yeah.
Or no, I'm sorry, a YouTube page, not TikTok, but cool.
Yeah, for sure.
But yeah, I appreciate you guys letting me on, Pearl.
Yeah, thanks for calling in.
Call in anytime, okay?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Okay.
Nick, unmute.
You have to unmute, buddy.
I still see the mute sign on your thing.
There you are.
This is yeah.
It's Nick, Pearl.
Hi, Nick.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
Oh, my God.
This is crazy.
What's crazy about it?
I mean, I've just like I've watched you for like years, and this is the first time I'm like communicating to you.
You know what's funny?
That's such a weird thing to say to someone, but I've heard it for years.
Like that is his only context in 2025.
That would be a normal thing to say.
You know what I mean?
It's funny.
But I get the show.
I just watched it.
Yeah, I know.
I get it all the time.
That's fine.
So tell me, what's your thoughts on the topic?
What's your mother experience, mother trauma?
So, well, I grew up with a single mom, which is fine, whatever.
But like, it's interesting because I feel like a lot of times women, oh, dude, it's so weird, like, actually being on here.
But so I feel like it's still like the her show, you know what I mean?
Like, I'm like, she was very involved in my life for a lot of it.
And then when I was 12, she didn't really have any boyfriends or anything.
But then she got remarried.
And that was that.
You know, it was kind of like, yeah.
It was like she, I just became like part of the background.
You know what I mean?
And my dad was not alienated from my life, but like he was definitely not like she did the thing of poisoning the well a little bit with him.
And so for the longest time, I thought he was not a very good person.
So when did it switch?
When did you figure it out?
How old?
Oh, good question.
It really was like college, I think.
He passed away when I was 16.
So it was very like obvious that like there was when things were different.
You know what I mean?
But like in college, I started to realize that like, oh, there's a lot of things that he did that I didn't, that I just kind of took for granted.
Yeah.
And I like didn't really think anything of it.
And then, and then when I was in college, I was like, oh, there's like a bunch of people doing a bunch of random weird shit, dude, that like my dad was very good at like seeing and telling me about and being like, don't fucking listen to that, you know?
Oh, I can't swear, can I?
You can.
It's not a big deal.
Oh, cool.
Okay.
It's YouTube, not a TV network.
Actually, that happened to me.
I swore on TV once and they're like, you can't do that.
I'm like, what do you mean I can't do that?
Yeah.
I mean, it's so common.
Did you see it with your friends too?
Or was your situation unique?
Dude, I mean, there's just this kind of idea that like the men in the family are not that great.
I feel like.
Even if, even with my friends who had like good, like good quote unquote married parents or whatever.
But like, it just always seemed like the dads were like second class or whatever.
And even like with teachers and stuff like that, right?
Because when you're growing up, most of your teachers are women.
And so they kind of assume that the moms are the better parent.
And the dads are like, yeah.
Which kind of like helps to poison the well a little bit.
You know what I mean?
You're like, oh, okay.
Like even recently, it's crazy.
So I'm 30 now.
So my dad died like 14 years ago.
And so there was one lady that I was staying with while I was in a different city.
And she was, she knew me when I was really little and knew my mom and knew my dad and stuff like that.
And I was like, oh, it's interesting because I have a lot of things that like are similar to my dad that I didn't even realize until way later.
And she goes, yeah, but he had a lot of demons that you don't have.
And I was like, fuck off, lady.
That was funny.
I've heard that before at the demons.
That's so funny.
Dude, it was crazy.
That's like almost a direct quote, too.
I was like, don't talk about him like that.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
And that's one of the dangers of being a married man, raising a family in this current environment with this narrative is you're going to be painted as a villain no matter what.
You could even see it.
There are wholesome videos of like a father with like his son or daughter, and women will always find a way to like make it about women or start tearing the guy down.
Anything a man does with his child on social media, you know, oh my god, is it is the child safe?
Oh my God, does he know what he's doing?
They throw pedophile also on everything.
God damn it.
Everything.
I mean, I'm like, they're calling me a pedo now.
I'm like, you guys just throw that.
You guys just throw that at everyone.
Yeah.
It's literally, it's like when the arguments run out, it's like pedophile, pedophile, pedophile.
There they go.
What was the biggest lie that was told to you about your dad?
Oh, dude, it's tough to know because like he, like, I, I, I don't know what was true and what wasn't, but like, um, like, I think that one of the biggest things is that like the flaws were made very, very, very clear.
And the, the goods were kind of put on the back burner a little bit.
Like my mom wasn't terrible.
As far as moms go in this stuff, she was not the worst, but still very clearly problematic, you know?
And like, um, so there were things that my dad did really well.
Like he was really good at standing up for himself.
I never felt in danger.
He looks nothing like me.
He's like bald and had a goatee and had a ton of muscle.
So like no one would ever want to fuck with me, you know?
And he had really strong morals.
So like if like after he passed away, like a little almost a year later, there was one guy that was like, oh, I told him like, oh, yeah, he passed away because he knew my dad and he was like, oh, how is he?
And I was like, oh, he died.
And he's like, oh, that sucks.
He was the kind of person you always knew if he was in the room.
And it was funny because the way that he said it sounded like he, it was not necessarily a compliment, but it was turned into a compliment.
Because if you always know someone's in the room, that's not always a good thing.
And so, so like, I think that was one thing that he was really good at is just being like, look, if there's something that is wrong here, I am, even if everyone else disagrees, I am going to be the one to say, like, no, no, no, this is how it should be.
Fuck all you.
This is how the world should be, you know?
And my mom is not like that.
She's a little bit like that, but if everyone else disagrees, she'll kind of go with the flow a little bit, you know?
And so I'm just going to ask you one more question and then we're going to have to wrap it up.
Do you, do you have any kids yourself?
No, I don't.
How is your, how is this whole thing with your dad being painted as a villain and stuff and your mother's stuff?
How has that affected your view of having children?
Dude, it's scary, bro.
Like, I'm like, it's tough because I want to have kids so fucking bad and I want to be in a monogamous relationship.
I am kind of picky, but like, you know, I want to be in a monogamous relationship.
And like, dude, I've been watching this show a lot more lately, and it just fucking is so it like enlightens a lot of different parts of your life, I feel like.
And it goes like, dude, holy shit, how the hell am I going to get married, bro?
How am I going to have kids?
And it only gets worse because right around like 35 to 40, all the people, especially a lot of the women in your life, like, oh, you'd be such a good dad.
And this is not what I'm blah, blah, blah.
But, you know, I would say the biggest problem is you have to have a child with these modern American women.
Yes!
How the fuck do you have kids, bro?
Because, you know, I don't have any kids because, you know, I fear nothing but God and co-parenting.
Those are the two things I fear, man.
I'm telling you.
And Your mid-30s, your friends who got married, you're going to have to be there for them when they go through divorce court, man.
So, when you see one of your best friends just get crushed in paternity court, in divorce court, and unfortunately, the only way to not lose is to not play that game, bro.
So, I'm not saying that you should or shouldn't, but I have the same thoughts going on right now, too.
It's just like you have to have a child with like a modern woman.
Can you IVF it?
Does the kid belong to you if you like hire a surrogate?
Hire sorry, you'd be raising a child as a single parent, though.
Isn't that better?
I mean, we just did a whole show on how the moms are messing up the kids.
I like, I think the kid would be better off than with most of it.
Yeah, I actually asked my mom like what she thinks I should do because I was like, What should I like?
What the fuck?
This is like such a crazy landscape.
And she was, she said IVF.
And I was like, Even then, though, like it might, you know, it's bad when the women are telling you to get a surrogate.
My mom, my literal mom, like, yeah, I'd probably just get a surrogate.
Surrogate cost.
Let me check this out.
Oh, shit, that's so expensive.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, 50, 60 grand or something like that.
The cost of surrogacy can range from 100 to 250K.
Oh, yeah, I know.
Yeah.
So, Pearl, how do we have kids?
How, how do men have kids right now?
I got nothing.
You're talking to the wrong person.
I've seen men that did everything right get completely fucked.
I've seen men with prenups get fucked.
I've seen men that married the religious church girl get fucked.
I've seen men.
Church girl her, dude.
Church means nothing.
They're worse.
Dude, yeah.
I mean, I grew up around these tri- I mean, that's why do you think I hate these tradcon women?
I grew up around these women.
I love what you've been saying about the trad cons because, like, it, it, it's been like unlock, like, making me see pieces of my subconscious with it where I'm like, I don't really trust.
Like, I love Brett Cooper, but man, she says some things where I'm like, what?
I don't know.
And, Nick, the biggest problem is, you know, they say nature makes its poisonous things like bright colors and odd shapes.
But so, like, liberal women, they have the purple hair, the tattoos, and the bull nose races.
So, you can see them coming.
But the tradcons, you know, the they can hide it better because they don't have any of nature's way of telling you that they're dangerous.
No, and they're all so unhappy because they picked betas as husbands.
So, I can't say that.
No, they do.
That's like, it's like really obvious.
All the tradcon women listen to the traits they use to describe their husband.
It's never like hot or exciting, it's always stable, dependable.
Like, it's always like beta traits, which is it's okay if they have both, but do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I know, exactly.
Like, even I think, I think I heard Brett describe her, like, I forgot what, but I was like, don't say that.
I forgot there was one.
Oh, man.
And, like, describe your partner as like dangerous or exciting or, you know, like, first off, Nick.
There's so many.
Sorry, what?
Do me a favor.
Stop saying the word partner.
As a man, you shouldn't be telling you because it all starts with your language, your thoughts.
If you're looking for a good woman and maybe a wife one day, just start by saying that.
Because if you keep saying partner, that's exactly what you're going to get.
Don't as a man, you shouldn't say partner.
Doug, they should, Doug, they should look for a partner.
Maybe he can put her on alimony.
Do you know what?
If I was a guy, that's the strategy I would take.
This is what I would do.
I would, and I'm not saying this is what you should do.
This is just what I would do.
I would go find a woman that makes more money and like wants one kid, right?
So I had a guy that worked for me, right?
And his strategy was to get super hot and go for a female lawyer, knowing that she was going to divorce him.
But just go in, no, no, just go and get the kids, but then like get the evidence you need for divorce court.
Like go in.
Oh, my God.
And so like, he's like, she's going to cheat at work.
Let me just get evidence.
So on the way out.
She's for sure going to cheat.
Let me just make sure I catch her.
And he was talking about how he was going to put her in situations to cheat.
He's like, I'll hire a personal trainer.
It's fine.
And then, and then he's like, and then on in divorce court, I'll put her on alimony and child support.
And then I'll go date women 15 years younger forever.
She's like, oh, I'm going to Miami this weekend for a girl trip.
And he's like, yeah, babe, go ahead.
Yeah.
And then he's on the phone with the PI.
He's like, oh, you.
And, you know, just for me, every single instance of a woman paying child support, alimony, losing custody of her kids to the father just makes my heart smile.
Dude, it's vindictive, but I agree.
Because the time of men taking the moral higher ground is over.
Bro, it's so true.
If she hits you, press charges.
You know what I'm saying?
She makes more money than you.
Take that child support, take that alimony.
If anything, you could instigate her and like annoy her so she'll hit you.
Get you, but you have, you have to go in ready for the divorce.
That's what I would do.
I would get like hidden cameras everywhere.
Oh my God, dude.
I would.
It's crazy though.
Yeah.
You guys are like, how do we have kids with these modern women?
You guys are hoping for a good woman.
It's like, why would you do that?
We just want kids with the worst women that we know for sure will fuck us over.
Yeah, I mean, I know, I mean, I would just like expect the worst.
You know, I wouldn't go in.
I would go in knowing it's going to go like, you know, that as soon as the youngest kid hits preschool, she's going to start cheating.
You know, that's like usually when they do.
No, it's usually around, it's usually around the age of like five because the kids, yeah, so what happens is it's as many kids as she wants.
When the youngest kid hits preschool, that's when she's going to cheat.
Now, like, now the kids are gone all day.
She's got the time.
She's back.
She's back working.
I mean, a lot of women will do it before, right?
But that's when she's going to start with the exit plan.
So the divorces are usually seven years in.
So around year five, she's got to start, you know, looking around who's going to.
And what you could do is instead of, you could assist her.
I know we had a guy on the show.
No, I had a guy on the show, right?
And his plan with his exes is he finds them the next boyfriend.
Yeah, and he said he's had good relationships with all of his exes.
So he helps them find the next boyfriend.
And then there's no like, and he's like, I'll try to get them someone better, taller.
It's fine.
Probably don't like that although.
And then, no, he said it goes well.
And then he just goes on to get younger and hotter again.
Oh, my God.
I'm sure they hate it.
They just, they're like, they're happy that he tried or something.
I don't know.
Well, I know.
He said he owns a boat with one of his ex-girlfriends, like husbands.
What?
Yeah, he owns a boat with one of them because he just, you know, they dated, didn't work out, but now she married a rich guy and they own a boat together.
He's still reaping the benefits of being friends with her.
Yeah, well.
I don't know.
I think after a certain age, like people that dated, it's like not as big of a deal.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, you kind of see that when you're younger, there's like these huge breakups and it's so really dramatic.
But then you get older, it's like, you kind of, I see that more where people will like date people that, like, they'll stay friends with their exes, and it's really not a big deal.
It's not usually the alpha guys, right?
But it's like, you know, she dates a beta.
Yeah, she dates a beta for a bit.
It's like, well, you know, you can.
She was never into him anyway.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Sorry, let me just, can I just say one more thing?
Yeah, you're okay.
I was talking to my mom and she was like, oh, yeah, you know, like, because there's all this advice that women give men on like what they need to do to be more attractive or whatever.
And I was telling her, like, dude, it's all the wrong advice.
And like, the easiest thing to do is just get a firearm, get some tattoos, and get a drug habit.
People fucking like you way more.
What part of the country are you in?
I'm in Kansas right now.
I grew up in California, though.
Well, that's the problem is all the hot women don't really stay in Kansas.
you know what i mean the yeah there's not very i was in salt lake recently though and there's a shitload of cute girls in salt lake Oh, yeah, the Mormons.
But yeah, they go to the big cities, you know?
So if I was a guy, do you know what I would do?
I would go, I'd go to two places.
This is where I'd go to find my wife.
I would either go to a college town.
You want to get them before they're damaged, right?
Okay, well.
Damaged in college, bro.
What are you talking about?
Well, they might as well get damaged by you.
You might as well be one of the ones damaging and maybe eventually you'll hit one that's like, oh, I might be the second guy she slept, you know?
It's a numbers.
Like, if you fuck enough 19-year-olds or 20-year-olds, you're bound to get one that weighted maybe out of 100, right?
But how many dicks has she sucked?
She's a virgin, but how many.
I didn't say virgin.
I just said maybe, maybe, like, okay, there's the girls that have a high school boyfriend, and then they obviously have to leave him to do better.
You could be the better.
Oh, wow.
That sounds good.
I would go, I'd go to Austin or I'd go to like some college town, or I'd go to a city where all the hot women go to.
So maybe it's Salt Lake, you know.
And then I just, I would just, if I was a guy, I'd just hook up with one of them until I do a numbers game until one just stuck around.
But I would still expect her to do the worst, so I'd still expect a divorce at your side.
Yeah, you know, because you might as well get the best years, you know.
So you might as well.
And then like, okay, she's going to leave you.
Like, let's say she has a kid with you at 24.
She'll leave you around 30 for money, but you could see it coming.
Yeah.
Yeah, because then she's got to go get the money for the rest of her life.
So I don't know if that's you, but if you tell them it's you, then they're going to use you for it.
So you might as well let someone else do that.
So true.
The tattoos and firearms.
I'm a strategist here, you know.
Yeah.
Well, well, I've got to get in.
What?
But yeah, Nick, thanks for calling me, Nick.
Call back in any time, man.
This is all.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for having me, guys.
Love you guys.
Thanks for calling in.
Well, guys, that's going to conclude the call-in portion today.
You guys can hear the rain, can't you?
I think this is pretty loud.
Can you hear me?
No, no, no, you can't hear it.
Really?
You can't?
Oh, I totally hear it on my headphones.
I mean, I can't hear on the Zoom call.
Maybe they can hear on YouTube.
I can't hear it on the Zoom call.
Well, they said college is before they get HPV.
Well, you might as well be before.
You know, you might as well.
Anyways, thanks so much for watching, guys.
Let me know what you think in the comments.
And also, go to theaudacitynetwork.com.
We're also on the app store.
The link is in the description.
If you could support, it really helps us out here.
I want to do bigger and better stuff, but you know, we've got to get enough members on the website.
So I really appreciate you guys helping me out.
And thank you, Doug.
A pleasure, as always.
You got anything last to say to the people, Doug?
Nope.
You know, guys, there's a lot of stumbag mothers out there.
I'm hoping that one day we judge mothers as harshly as we do fathers.
And, you know, try to share your stories with your friends, guys, because a lot of guys out there had awful mothers and they think they're the only one or their mother was the absolute worst, like the worst one, and most of the time it's not.