Episode 116. Peter Thiel Fumbles, D.C. in Panic Mode, Nobel Peace Winner Molests 400 Boys, Ilahn Omar Marries Brother
CONTACT US: Email: paranaughtica@gmail.com Twitter: @paranaughtica Facebook: The Paranaughtica PodcastContact Cricket: Website: www.theindividuale.com Twitter: @Individualethe Hey there!So, today, we are going to go over some news stories that are making their rounds, more or less. These stories are sure to get those glutes gripping those seats, tightly.We’ll listen to some audio clips that are simply amazing, as well.We will get into Jennifer Garner reading the book, “Secret Pizza Party” at a children's event for the organization ‘Save the Children’ which is currently under investigation for a ton of child molestation.We will get into D.C. being in panic mode making internet searches all about covering up their crimes.We will get into a certain Nobel Peace Prize recipient who openly admits to molesting between 300-400 boys with absolutely no guilt in him. We will get into Minnesota Representative, Ilhan Omar, who married her own brother and aims to bankrupt America as she boosts her home-country of Somalia. And we will get into a LOT more! So, strap-up your Velcro panty-straps and get ready to go on an adventure of heart pounding news. Song at Outro:“There Was Something New, Something Fresh” - Paranaughtichttps://on.soundcloud.com/aAVjdm8dRi1FZ1pPA To check out a small batch of Coops’ music, go to this this link — https://on.soundcloud.com/Q1XRaY9WSpzawV9r7 CHECK YOUR LOCAL WATER TREATMENT LEVELS: EWG Tap Water Database ***If you’d like to help out with a donation and you’re currently listening on Spotify, you can simply scroll down on my page and you’ll see a button to help us out with either a one-time donation or you can set up a monthly recurring donation. ko-fi.com/paranaughticapodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
*Pewds* *Pewds* *Pewds* *Pewds* *Pewds* *Pewds* *Pewds* You can just keep the dust under the curtain.
I'm the garage.
One of the streets.
Nobody angling you.
Don't want to know what you're selling.
You know, the air is at the door.
You're going to be in the house.
I'm going to get up out of your chest.
I'm going to get up right now.
Go to the window.
Get your head out and kill.
I'm going to kill.
I'm not going to take this anymore.
You've got to say I'm a human being.
God damn it.
My life has been.
Yeah, dude.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Paranautica Podcast.
I'm your host, Coop.
With me always is Cricket.
Cricket, how be you?
How's it going?
Very wonderful.
So apparently some dude tripped over his cat and then suffered a car crash.
That's some sort of news.
Alligators and the sewer myth is true.
Workers have found alligators in their motherfucking sewers.
Well, I mean, that's some interesting news there.
Yeah, and from what I heard from years ago, it's just like people get rid of their own pets.
Sometimes people get crocodiles or alligators or whatever as a pet, and they're like, I don't want to keep this motherfucker, and then they let it go.
And then they just end up going into sewers.
Well, and at some point, they ditched enough that they started mating, I guess.
Yeah. And, well, that's how you introduce an invasive species right there.
Who was that big drug kingpin in, like, the 80s?
We fucking...
CIA killed him on the rooftop.
Pablo Escobar?
Yeah, Escobar.
Escobar. Oh, Pablo.
Pablo. Pablo Escobar.
The guy who was famous for, like, spending $10,000 a month on rubber bands.
Yeah, just to wrap his money.
Yeah, just to wrap all that money that he was moving through.
It wasn't even that he was that rich.
He was just moving that much money.
Yep. Yeah, $10,000 a month on rubber bands.
Fuck that rubber band company.
I bet it was one of his buddies who had a rubber band company.
Yeah, I was about to say, he probably got a little snapback on that.
Yeah, a little snapback?
Just like, you know, like $20,000 for a case of 500 rubber bands, and you're like, hmm, this doesn't seem like a very good deal, and you're like, I don't want to ask questions.
So, Pablo, how we have alligators and crocodiles in the sewers here, because there are hippopotamus, hippopotami?
Hippopotami? In...
Central America or in Venezuela or whatever.
Wherever he had his, like, base, his home base.
Because he made his own zoo.
And he brought in all these exotic animals.
And then, you know, when they took him out, these animals just went wild.
And they escaped and started, like, doing their own thing.
And now there's, like, a hippopotami population in Venezuela or wherever.
And, like, all sorts of just other animals, dude.
It's pretty crazy.
Yeah. Life finds a way.
I mean, ultimately...
If they're not acclimated for the environment, they won't long-term survive outside of it.
But barring environmental circumstances, the only thing that kept them from coming here was you not bringing them.
That's the whole reason they tell you not to bring all the weird bugs and crap.
That's how we got murder hornets.
That's exactly how we got murder hornets.
Whatever happened to those murder hornets?
They clearly murdered all the witnesses.
No witnesses.
It's like Japan is actually just virtual anime girls at this point because the murder hornets actually wiped out the rest of the population and are now ruling it.
Oh, that's terrible.
That's terrible.
You know, like all their leaders are actually just murder hornets in a big, they're all like combined together in a big suit.
Yeah. Just like a whole hive full of them.
There you go.
That's how it goes down.
Now there's a clippable conspiracy there.
These guys believe all of Japan is a bunch of hornets.
Yes. Yes.
Yes, we do.
This is happening.
It happens and we encourage it.
No, not us.
We don't encourage it.
Yeah. I, for one, welcome their murder hornet overlords.
Just in case I need to get on their good side.
Exactly. Check this out, dude.
So there's a high school teacher in Brisbane.
All right?
We're in Australia.
Australia. Where a teacher refers to themselves as a cat and they regularly hiss at the students.
And lick the back of their hands and do that whole cat thing where they lick the hand and then, you know, rub their eyebrow or whatever.
Clean their old face off.
So this teacher at Marsden State High School in Logan City, south of Brisbane, reportedly has asked the students to call her Miss Purr.
And she does all these really weird things in the classroom.
The students are not fond of it.
Aw, man.
You at least need something proper, like Madame Mew.
I wonder if she has a giant cat litter box in the corner.
Yeah, I was just about to say, what are their objections extending to?
How far does she go into the cat?
And how attractive is this woman?
Okay, I'm looking at a picture.
She does not look attractive.
She does have her face blurred out, though.
Yeah, sadly, that probably would be a factor.
Definitely would be.
Definitely would be.
Nobody wants to see an ugly teacher squatting in the corner taking a duke.
You know what I mean?
So essentially, it's just like, yeah, you can be a weirdo, but you've got to be a hot teacher simultaneously to get away with this.
Yes. Like, teacher caught not being attractive enough to pull this BS should be the name of this article.
Absolutely. Because I feel like a lot of them is just like, teacher having long-term relationship, birthing 15 children, given three months, didn't even want to prosecute.
I'm like, what the hell?
I'm like, this is still a predator, guys.
Yeah, I mean, it's safe to say.
Even though you joke about it.
I think it's safe to say these students are getting a less than perfect education.
Oh, man.
That was painful.
Come on, come on.
It was good.
It was awesome.
I'm sure that doesn't even scratch the surface of her perfectly.
That's pretty good, dude.
That's pretty good.
Oh, man.
Let's see what else we got here.
Astronauts ejaculate in space.
What? I'm going to skip that one.
All right, our listeners want to hear it.
Fine. It's probably not the first time.
Let's see here.
So what happens when you ejaculate in space?
I would imagine it forms like a globule.
You'd think so.
I'm trying to find this.
What happens here?
Male or female?
Male. Male.
Because, you know, that's an important part of this.
The consistency and especially the viscosity is different.
So, you know.
So it has to do with those two astronauts that were stuck in the upper atmosphere.
They were not stuck in space, ladies and gentlemen.
They were stuck in the upper atmosphere of Earth.
The two astronauts, Sunita, Suni Williams, and Barry Butch, so maybe it's a dude and a girl?
I don't know.
Sunita? They joined the Thousand Mile High Club.
They apparently have, in order to pass the time.
This comes from what?
New York Post?
It really doesn't last very long.
How much time does that pass?
Not much time.
So you'd have to be like, alright, we're round three, round four, round five.
I'll say.
When a man ejaculates in the vacuum of space, how fast backwards is he propelled?
Well, it's an equal and opposite reaction, so you'd have to derive that equation based on the mass of them versus the mass of the old love and spoonful.
That's right.
It's the mass multiplied by the velocity of the ejaculated will equal the mass multiplied by the velocity of the man.
Yeah, so not very far.
We're not talking much recoil here.
So this guy apparently spewed out some spunk which equaled one teaspoon.
Yeah, that's where the term love and spoonful comes from.
That's how the band got away with that.
Yeah, that's how the band got away with referencing it.
There you go.
That's weird.
The more you know, the more horrified you can be.
Interesting. Yeah, that doesn't really say anything else about it, so that's about that.
It's pretty fascinating news, right?
Really? I was going to say, like, where are they going to announce when the alien baby is due?
It's just going to be another Elon baby, that's all.
Just another Elon Musk baby, because he's got, like, five different fucking baby daddies.
Speaking of which, I just remembered a story that I just saw pop up, which is incredibly scandalous.
Speaking of an Elon baby, I don't know if you've heard this, but supposedly an ex-member of Timcast, and she signed up with Quartering now, Ashley St. Clair, is claiming that she's having a baby with Elon.
That was my reference.
Yeah. Yes.
Okay, I was about to say, I think I know what you're talking about.
I was like, I don't know if it's true or not.
I just know that the news is incredibly stupid.
It's incredibly stupid.
People are just deriving way too much importance from what is essentially a Jerry Springer episode.
I mean, that's real life now.
It's just we're living a Jerry Springer episode constantly.
Like, everything's just a joke.
It's so ridiculous.
What gets in the news?
Like, what's important and what's not?
It's just so retarded.
And anything that has to do with Elon Musk is just retarded.
Especially Ashley St. Clair, who went by the name of, like, Laptop Whore or something like that for OnlyFans.
And she's just an OnlyFans slut.
And she's, like, married to some dude.
And so, like, it's like, alright, this guy and this chick decided, let's get together and, like...
Get money out of Elon Musk or whatever.
Or maybe Elon Musk did fuck this Ashley St. Clair, which he probably did because she's hella boosted on Twitter.
I mean, let's be honest here.
Low morals is a tremendous qualification for almost any high-paying job these days.
There's a few where you can be ethical and just be really by the book and strict, but most of them it's like, how willing are you to not notice things?
And or just flat out dim.
That's part of why everybody always asks, why are all these dumb people in these positions?
And I'm like, because duh.
Otherwise they might notice.
Like, hey, why is it?
And so then it's always the people who don't notice and are really dim that end up getting hung out to dry.
Like, it was all their idea afterwards because they didn't have all that plausible deniability set up because they were just oblivious.
Yeah, that's just...
So then they get to blame for the more devious ones.
It's super stupid.
It just seems like every opportunity to do something on Elon Musk, some sort of scandalous story, like someone's going to throw it out there and see if it gets traction.
I mean...
People are definitely going to talk about it.
I mean, he's carrying my baby.
We've reached National...
That's like National Enquirer on CNN levels of the news.
It's Batboy.
Oh my god, yeah.
Well, that's the thing is everybody remembers Batboy, but what they don't forget is that there was a huge part of that industry for the Globe and National Enquirer stuff that was just literally ex-celebrity is carrying my baby.
Scandal. That was the whole title.
I just feel like now that they announced that they're the media, they're just kind of proving it.
By being like, see, we can have equally inane news.
Just watch us.
Yeah, and speaking of like that, and cum, and all sorts of stupid shit like that.
Well, I mean, it isn't really a lesser, bigger story than Astronaut Jizb, so it's like, a lot of dumb news stories.
Yeah, so like this one.
So there's an ex-Mormon OnlyFans star?
She goes by the name of Mormon Come Onlyfans.
Mormon Come Onlyfans?
Anyway, she's come out.
She's got like 100,000 followers on X on Twitter.
So that's kind of weird.
Like, why is this chick doing her Onlyfans on Twitter?
That's allowed?
I mean, low-key, it's do you toe the line?
You know, if she said controversial stuff, she probably...
Or like, attacked...
Well, this is no scandal.
This is just some creator chick.
That used to be a Mormon.
She left the Mormon life.
I thought you meant she had a scandal coming or something.
No, no, no, no.
She just left the Mormon life and went to start her OnlyFans.
Something about her temple garments are sacrosanct, her underwears.
I guess all Mormons have these underwear that are these religious undergarments known as magic underwear.
They all have them.
Yeah, they like consummate their Union underwear.
Yeah, and apparently she had accidentally touched her in-laws doing laundry or something, and they were like, taking it back.
Like, oh my god, you touched her underwear.
And then they had to go burn them because they were painted.
Jeez. Yeah, so she gets on this Twitter, or her OnlyFans Twitter, whatever, and she takes these videos of her in these magic underwear, and she does things.
Yeah. I don't know.
An awful lot of religious ceremonies just seem to consist of these people find this gross.
So, like, do it with your clothes on.
For real.
For real.
It's like, ew, that's gross.
Like, cover that up.
Ew. Gross.
So, like, these magic underwear, they're never supposed to take them off.
Even when they're having sex, they're supposed to have them on at all times, dude.
Yeah, you just kind of do it through them.
That's the thing.
It's all based on the concept that natural things like the human body are disgusting.
Yeah. God failed at making the perfect body.
So we take this artificial fabric and we cover up our disgustingness with it.
Which was made by this supposedly disgusting being but is now okay.
Because don't actually read into any of this stuff.
It falls apart, trust me.
Yeah, that's horrible.
That's stupid.
That's dumb.
As soon as you ask questions like that, it's like when you watch movies and ask like, wait, what if all the bad guys just tried to hit him at once?
Why don't they do that?
And you're like, you're not supposed to ask that question.
He's supposed to defeat each of them as they calmly one versus one him as the rest all stand around cheering.
I don't remember where, but I saw some version of that trope once.
Where everybody did come at him at once, but instead of fighting back, he just jumped out of the way and they all ran into each other.
Yeah, knocked each other out.
I'm named after my mom's favorite booze.
Tequila, Cheyenne Jones.
That's unfortunate, dude.
I have an alcoholic mother or father and they name you after their favorite fucking alcohol.
It's like, yeah.
Hi, I'm Stoli.
I think that's a pretty popular name in Russia.
It's like my favorite booze, like my favorite vacation spot.
I love the Cheyenne Mountains.
Yeah. And then Jones, because, you know, I'm like, because I love addictions.
I'm like, wait, isn't Jones usually just a reference to wanting something you were formerly addicted to or still are?
Hi, I'm Everclear.
Popov. Popov.
Alexander Popov.
Hi, I'm Pottersfield.
Gross. Well, I mean, at the very least, if you're going to be named after one that's awesome-sounding, like Jägermeister.
Hi, I'm Jägermeister.
I am the master of all hunters.
That would be pretty dope, dude.
I wouldn't mind that one.
Never mind Hennessy.
Hennessy's not a bad name.
Well, I mean, I guess Jaeger is a pretty common name.
Jaeger, yeah.
I actually knew Jaeger.
Yeah, relatively.
So Jaeger Meister is just an extended version.
I could see that.
Home Depot has employed the oldest employee at 100 years old.
She's said she's gotten so sick of herself.
Why? Why are you so sick of yourself?
Yep, exactly.
They're all like, in traditional Home Depot...
Keep them employed.
Yeah, in traditional Home Depot fashion, she immediately asked the reporter if she could help her find something and then wouldn't leave her alone.
Yes! Wouldn't stop talking about days of our lives.
Alright, here's a better one.
Bong-wielding man goes berserk on highway, allegedly assaults crocodile wrangler.
So a popular crocodile wrangler was doing his thing.
On the side of the road, and this guy pulls up with a bong in his hand.
The guy attacks him, spits on the guy.
This happened in Australia, in Brisbane, again.
Yeah, attacks this guy with a bong.
The guy's like, what are you doing, bro?
I'm just trying to get this alligator under control.
Crazy dude wasn't having it.
Smacking the dude over the head with the bong.
I mean, you're ruining your peace.
How crazy are you?
Yeah, he smashed the car up with it, too.
That's a hard bong.
Yeah, so wait, is this like a metal bomb or something?
Because I was immediately thinking Glass.
Me too.
Wow, that's some potential bonus bleed damage along with potential toxic infection.
That thing's like a status implement one-shot blunt weapon.
You get to swing it once and hope to inflict a bunch of crap, but after that it's useless.
But from what I'm hearing, yeah, it's a...
He apparently had something that was harder than the car.
Yikes. Yeah, that's bad, dude.
That's bad.
Smoke out of a metal bong.
What do you think about that porn star who had sex with 1,057 men back-to-back?
Did you ever hear about this?
It was really recent.
It's got to be really unsatisfying for all of them.
Must be 1,057 very lonely men.
I mean, holy shit.
I mean, some dudes would just do it because they're...
They're just that gross and think, I could be a part of it.
Or dogs.
I mean, it's a...
Bonnie Blue.
Oh, man, she was removed from OnlyFans.
I mean, it'd probably be the only opportunity you'd ever have to do a porn star, I guess, which some people would view as an opportunity.
I guess.
Like, what do you want to be when you grow up?
A business opportunity.
1,057 men in 12 hours.
So the video, Bonnie Blue...
Dude, the paperwork took longer than the sex.
Oh, 100%, dude.
She did this in 12 hours, but then was banned after she posted the video.
And that video definitely is out there making us around on the internet, so it's not just on OnlyFans.
You know, the first person who saw it recorded it, did a screenshot, whatever, screen record.
Wait, she got banned from OF for doing it?
Like, why did they object to this?
I don't know.
I'm very confused why that's a problem.
Like, oh no, that's too many dudes like in too short a period or something.
I'm like, do they got like terms of service here?
Like, hmm, I don't know, like 150?
That's alright, but 1057?
We're getting pretty crazy here.
That might just be a violation.
So 1057 men in 12 hours?
I don't know what the math adds up.
People are saying the video doesn't even exist.
It's just a stunt.
It would be logistically impossible in a 12-hour time frame.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I think a lot of dudes can ejaculate pretty damn fast, you know what I mean?
I mean, if you aren't required to be done, I imagine it would just be a matter of, here, take your five seconds.
Yeah. I was about to say, the fact that you're imagining some level of culture or art to this, no, this is an assembly line, guys.
There's nothing good about it.
It's horrible.
Like, that's just a really dumb idea.
And I don't encourage that.
Like, for real, I'm pretty sure hell to the heck with the paperwork, you probably spend more time wrapping up than they spent actually doing it.
How many fluffers were around?
You know what I mean?
Like, how disappointing and, like I said, unsatisfying has got to be.
Yeah, fuck all that.
Just think you were a part of history.
Or not, if it's a fake video.
Let's move on to something a little more exciting.
Like this.
I'm going to have to share this with you.
What you got?
What you got going on here?
Okay. This right here happened on October 8th, 2024.
And it's the Hollywood actress Jennifer Garner, who people just love.
I think she's a terrible actress, but that's just me.
She went to a A children's event, a Save the Children event at this school with very young children, and she read a book called Secret Pizza Party.
Secret Pizza Party, okay?
Jeez. And, yeah, the Save the Children, a non-profit or something, whatever the Save the Children group is, I don't know, whatever it is, but they're under investigation right now, currently.
And they had five...
Oh, okay, so October 8th, 2024 is when the raid happened on five of these regional offices of Save the Children in Guatemala.
And so this video was more recent.
Yeah, let's watch this.
Or listen to this.
It's called Secret Pizza Party.
Then you're going to love this book.
Here's Sebastian.
Look. The end.
Thank you.
*laughter*
It's kind of weird.
Yeah. In light of everything.
I really feel like...
Well, first off, like, how does this book teach them how to keep secrets?
Does it establish, like, you know, it's okay to keep secrets, like...
For example, a secret birthday party coming up in a week, don't tell anybody, as opposed to don't tell anyone or you'll get in trouble.
I feel like this book muddies those waters pretty badly.
Especially for somebody young where you really should be communicating in absolutes still because they may not be developed enough to have the nuance to go, okay, this is right and this isn't.
I mean, Jennifer Garner definitely knows what pizza means.
We all know what pizza, cheese pizza, pepperoni pizza, hot dogs, we all know what these terms mean to certain people.
Pretty poor taste when you're under investigation.
Yeah. Very much so.
And so, they're...
Oh, man.
They're like, next up is the secret.
The child in the hole.
The child in the hole, yeah.
He was in a hole and it was a secret and nobody knew and nobody told.
I'm like, how blatant y'all gonna get here?
Yeah, I don't like it.
I don't like Jennifer Garner.
I don't like the fact that she's reading Secret Pizza Party to a bunch of kids at a school for a Save the Children event when Save the Children are under investigation for child rape.
So, I don't like it.
Not one bit.
Doesn't exactly scream we're trying to maintain our innocence here.
Oh, for real.
Alright, so you know a little bit about the, you know, you're the one that told me.
The bleach bit, wipe hard drive, offshore bank searches, DC.
It's in panic mode right now.
Yeah, my favorite one was just the blatant criminal defense attorney.
Oh yeah, and RICO laws, yeah.
Oh, that was the other one.
Do RICO laws apply to?
Was like one of the prefixes that was frequently used.
Yeah, so this comes from, I'll read this here.
Tyler Durden goes by the name Tyler Durden.
Okay, so internet search trends in the Washington, D.C. metro area have been nothing short of stunning in recent weeks.
This just came out yesterday.
Today? This just came out today.
Crazy. Reflecting what appears to be a growing panic within the federal bureaucracy as President Trump and Elon Musk's department of dog shit.
Root out corruption in non-governmental organizations, NGOs, and federal agencies.
Earlier this week, internet search trends for criminal defense lawyer and RICO laws went viral on X, fueling speculation that Washington's political elites are in panic mode.
The searches coincide with Doge's efforts to neuter USAID's funding of NGOs and propping up a shadow government.
As well as...
Oh, wait.
How did it say that they get these statistics?
I always wondered that.
I'm not sure.
We'll just get into this here.
Okay. So, propped up the shadow government as well as begin cutting tens of thousands of workers from various agencies.
And then Zero Hedge, where I actually got this article, they made a post saying, DC internet searches for criminal defense lawyer and RICO law erupt as Doge drain swamp.
So, RICO law...
That search went up 700%.
RICO charge up 300%.
RICO statute up 250%.
What is RICO law?
Up 100%.
When I was reading this, I was actually wondering the same thing.
How do you even get that information?
I was just thinking, I'll bet it's because they showed up as trending searches.
That could be it.
That could be it.
My guess is they probably analyze trending searches in the region, but that's just an assumption.
That's the first thing I always want to know about stories like this.
Like, wait, why are y'all spying on people's keystrokes?
Like, where does this info come from?
Is it anonymized?
For real.
I'd like to know lots of things about it, please.
More suspicious search trends have erupted among D.C. residents as Doge efforts went into beast mode at the end of the week.
Washington, D.C. searches soar for Swiss Bank, Offshore Bank, WireMoney and IBAN.
Now, what's IBAN?
IBAN. IBAN.
I've heard that before.
Does it have to do with internet?
Let me look at it.
Let me yandex it real quick.
Some sort of fucking...
It's an acronym.
Hard drive wiper.
I can't remember what it stands for.
International Bank Account Number.
Oh, yeah.
I was about to say, like, how do I...
I was, like, trying to think, like, how do I obtain an IBAN?
There we are.
Yeah, I bet a number.
Essentially, yeah, offshore bank.
Offshore banking.
So yeah, how do I get money?
How do I get my money offshore?
So essentially, if I get busted, how do I keep my cash safe for when I get out?
Other search terms, which these are the more important ones.
Wipe, erase, and hard drive wipes.
Or wipe hard drives.
Those are up a lot.
That's pretty funny.
All across the D.C. metro area.
Just in that area.
And why?
We all know D.C. is a fucking swamp full of just leeches and just horrible people.
I mean, you just have to look at the response to the suggestion that they move headquarters for different agencies places.
Just the sheer revulsion and freakout that happened over that.
Oh, man.
Because they know a certain amount, and especially the laziest and lowest tier ones would be the ones shaking off.
For real.
There's always a few who just think, I don't want to relocate, I'll just get a different job.
But then there's also the ones who are not really going to move on to anything else.
Because, well, you're not going to get that kind of job ever again.
No, you have so many perks, they want to keep all that shit.
People always talk about how private sector pays so much better than public sector, but what they don't realize is that usually only actually occurs for the executive class.
You work as a groundskeeper, for example, for a private person.
They're going to try and undercut you the best they can, whereas almost always when you work for a city or a county, they've got some kind of standardized wage that's almost inevitably higher than private sector.
It's almost shocking when it isn't.
At least that's been my experience when I look.
Another search term that's gone up 400% is lawyer.
Washington, D.C. searches for lawyer up 400%.
And this comes out on the 13th, just a few days ago here.
Another search term, statute of limitations is soaring.
What I thought was really hilarious was somebody pointed out there's a big stink and freak out a few weeks ago of how We're going to have a massive labor shortage if we deport people.
And then now they're freaking out because they're like, oh my god, all these jobs are going away.
All these people are going to be unemployed.
Whatever will they do?
And I'm like, I thought there was all these jobs that just showed up.
Where do they all vanish to all of a sudden?
Yeah, I mean, they're apparently firing thousands of employees.
But we all know that everyone in D.C. is a fucking fraud.
We all know they're all rats.
Well, yeah, that's the trick.
What was the percentage on a moonlighting?
It was...
Pretty crazy high how many had a second job.
And you always had to ask yourself, did you work that second job separate hours?
I think it was like over half.
It was like 60% or something.
Like you'd think they did.
But honestly, the main thing I saw from people complaining about return to work from home or return from work from home was that they had to do stuff like...
That all other people were just accustomed to having to do, like find childcare.
And I was just thinking, wait, so you were just watching your kid while you were working?
So crazy.
And they're like, yeah, I can 100% pay total, complete, and non-unsplit attention to my job while simultaneously caring for five children.
That's not unrealistic.
Yep. And Zero Hedge, they're asking for big balls to audit all the outbound ACH transfers that were $1 million or more in the past month, which would be a great idea.
See who's moving those large sums of money all of a sudden to offshore accounts.
Yeah, those are red flags.
Find those people.
Find those people.
I mean, the fact that they're panic moving it really shows that something didn't work out for them.
Some elements of this did not work.
Nope. Did you see the video of Robert Garcia threatening to bring real weapons to be used against Elon Musk?
Did you see this shit?
Robert Garcia?
Who's that?
He's a representative.
I forget where.
I was about to say, I've seen posts from him.
I didn't really know who he was, though.
Yeah, so listen to this shit.
For us to bring actual weapons to this bar fight.
This is an actual fight.
For democracy, for the future of this country, it's important to push back on the chairperson of this committee.
I mean, Marjorie Taylor Greene talks about having decorum, about bipartisanship.
This is the person that lies more than anybody else in the entire Congress.
And so if she's going to make a mockery of hearings, I want to make sure that us as Democrats are bringing that same level of energy.
After those comments, we went into exactly what Elon Musk is trying to do, dismantling the Department of Labor, dismantling the Department of Education, dismantling all of our consumer protection agencies.
And so it's all important, but it's also important to get the attention of the American public and call Elon Musk out for what he is and to make people know that Marjorie Taylor Greene is not a serious legislator and she shouldn't be treated as such.
That is some magica.
Let's listen to that first part again.
Weaving a spell.
For us to bring actual weapons to this bar fight.
He's a Democrat.
For us to bring actual weapons to this bar fight.
I was about to say, that's magica.
It's called NLP, Neurologistic Programming, if you want to get the technical term.
You'll say something metaphorically, but you'll say it in a way where it's meant to be taken literally, and your brain interprets it that way.
Just like what they blame Trump for doing for the January 6th thing.
Yeah, it's a much more pointed version of what they so breathlessly call stochastic terrorism, which is essentially leading someone to the conclusion.
My personal favorite NLP trick was always, I used to think my thoughts came from above.
Now I know they come from below me.
Yep, below me.
Totally works.
As long as you're making a video and the chick's into you and she actually wants to do that in the first place.
You can sell a car to someone who's already planning on purchasing it.
Yeah. Using this magic trick.
You look really good in this car.
Oh, man, it really brings out the shade of your eyes.
And they're like, yeah, I would because I already want this car.
So it's like, well, dang, this is working great.
I'm a wizard.
I'm a wizard, yeah.
I'm going to get the salesman of the year.
No, you're not, sir.
You're going to get fired.
So, yeah, that's an insidious bit of wordplay there that's meant to trigger your brain.
As you hear that phrase, like, I mean, the thing is, though, is, like, they've actually gone away from more deliberate stuff.
I mean, I remember, like, a few years ago, they just straight up said there just needs to be violence in the streets.
They're like, you need to go pick up a weapon and fight.
And I'm just like, yeah, that's not ambiguous.
Like, that's just straight up, like, saying to go hurt people.
Like, that was messed up.
That was straight up the BLM movement's whole thing.
That was their entire rhetoric.
Just pick up a brick, destroy shit, hurt people.
That was the whole thing.
And George Soros and USAID funded all that shit.
And then there was that one reporter lady who literally said that.
You need to pick up a weapon and fight.
If anything, this actually represents a pretty massive retreat.
I don't like it still because it's obviously designed to create division between people.
At the same time, it also represents how weak their position is now.
Because that dude would have said something far more bold in the past, I'll tell you what.
Hey, did you hear anything about the...
To switch this up a little bit.
Yeah. The Thomas Crook...
Oh, God.
The Thomas Crook shooting.
How the Secret Service...
Oh, my God.
I got so many things starting in play right now.
The Secret Service counter snipers on the roof.
We're saying that they were being shot at, and that information was being suppressed, or the shots were being suppressed.
But if we're going to say that Thomas Crooks was the only shooter there, he didn't have a suppressor on the gun he was using on the roof of the AGR building, which the Secret Service were right next to him in the window looking at him, watching him do this shit.
And there's no way that Trump's ear was shot.
There's just no way.
There's just no way.
So was that some whole crazy cloak and dagger stage thing?
100%. Like Spy vs.
Spy shiz.
The more you hear about it, the more it all sounds like a big production.
Yeah, it totally does.
And they're saying that the shot that hit the railing, which killed that firefighter, I forget his name, and the other person, the shot that hit the railing came from the trees and was aimed at the Secret Service agents.
Not at the president.
And so I think what's going on here is that this Crooks character, Thomas Crooks, he was brought in to be like, look, man, you're going to save the day.
You're going to shoot the counter-sniper.
That's your job.
You're going to shoot the counter-snipers that's trying to shoot Trump.
Well, I mean, you think about these MKUltra types, their brains are like half-fried, and they're just like living under a series of suggestions that creates their faux history.
So all you need to do is just inject a little bit of opportunity for heroics into somebody whose brain is completely melted like that, and they think they're going to go save the day.
Well, then they never get mentioned by the president ever again.
Never again.
For the first week or so, he brought it up a whole bunch and how it happened and everything, but still never actually mentioned the dude at all.
And then just kind of never again.
Yes, and here are documents of the Secret Service agents doing an interview.
I mean, he monetized, like, they monetized the image massively in all kinds of different ways.
Oh, with the fake bullet behind Trump?
Well, or no, not just that, the freaking iconic...
Fight, fight, fight image.
Oh, yeah.
Which then got reused by everybody in every freaking meme permutation throughout the next few weeks.
Yeah, the whole thing was so staged.
It's just so ridiculous.
I remember you told me about that because I just got back from camping.
We were recording a show and I just got back from camping.
You're like, oh, yeah, the president was shot.
And I was like, what?
I looked it up really quick and I was like, right off the bat, I was like, this is stupid bullshit.
They're trying to push this on us?
These motherfuckers are retarded.
I'm just like, yep, totally.
People bought into it.
Wow, you know, I mean, that's the thing, is that you generate a mythos, and it's just way more exciting to believe the story than that boring truth where, you know, a bunch of counter-terrorism maneuvers behind the scenes is what really happened,
essentially. A bunch of teams working against each other and back and forth, and nothing ever really happened.
And nobody really knows who the hell was shooting at who from what I'm hearing now.
It's like Secret Service agents firing at other Secret Service agents.
It seems like in the government, I mean, in my personal opinion, there are all these different factions all, like, vying for power and they're all doing their own fucked up shit to, like, get that power.
Like, the Deep State is actually a bunch of all these different people, different groups of people.
Some of them are involved with each other, like a Venn diagram.
Some of them are completely separate, and a lot of them are like secret society members.
And I feel like all of these little factions do their own little fucked up things, some in tangent with others, but ultimately it's just like a big shit show and everyone's just trying to vie for power.
Some of them are 420 Pussy Slayers, 6ix9ine, who just told you that you're really stupid because here's a study that proves that you're wrong, created by the people who spent lots of money to make sure that you don't know what the hell's going on.
Exactly. That was the most annoying part.
Through that whole ASED program, realizing not only were these BS articles backdoor generated through all this crap, but then they'd have regular users come on to pretend to be stupid over and over again and not get things and frustrate the hell out of everybody while spewing talking points.
You always told yourself, oh, this always feels so ingenuine and so fake.
And it turns out, yeah, everybody was right.
It was all not genuine and fake.
So good for y'all for calling that out before it actually got discovered.
Yeah. And just a point on that, like all these different news agencies, they're found that USAID has been funding all of these major news agencies.
BBC, fucking Fox, CNN for real.
MSNBC, all these different fucking news agencies that are like the mainstream media.
Listen to us.
We have the answers.
We have the facts.
They're all fucking being paid through USAID funds.
Just a point on that is the clip of all of those different news agencies saying the exact same script at the same damn time.
I mean, how many times did people ask where the script was coming from and get mocked and told that there was nobody coordinating everything?
Which was really, honestly, ridiculous because, come on, this wasn't just simply the same story.
It was the same verbatim text over and over again.
It's like copy-pasted.
At some point, there'd at least be some paraphrasing if all of these different people came up with the same idea just because that was the news of the week.
Yeah, no way in hell that was coincidental.
We won't even entertain that idea.
The whole point of making the montages was to mock the idea that it's coincidental, right?
Exactly. Have you heard of the name...
Where is this?
Oh my god, where is it?
I don't know.
I can't find the name now, but let's watch.
I mean, what they really are is just unethical sponsor reads is what those things are.
Because you see, what you're supposed to be doing is saying, this product is brought to you by blah blah blah, but instead they get away with, oh, we run a bunch of random ads, and then we just go ahead and run this.
Nah, let's not disclose where it's from.
I'm trying to find this dude's name who we're about to talk about.
Well, let's just do it because they do mention his name.
This is a Nobel Peace Prize winner.
That is saying these words we're about to listen to right now.
I've never once taken a kid to my bed.
They have come to my bed, and I am no one to kick them out.
If they hug me and I find them playing with my car, I say, good on you, I play with theirs.
And I'll do it now and with great pleasure.
With three or four hundred boys.
Who had sex with me from 8 and 10 and 12, 100% have run into my bed, jumped in without my mentioning it, and asked for sex.
I have never asked for it.
All boys want a lover.
That was Dr. Daniel Gajdusek, who worked for the NIH and won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1976.
Who lived in Boston's Children's Hospital for nine years.
Nine years he was allowed to live amongst children.
He also was allowed to adopt 57 children.
Ended up only spending one year in prison.
The predator admittedly took advantage of three to four hundred boys between the ages of eight to twelve.
Let's check out what Boston Children's Hospital's up to now.
Vibre-burning hysterectomy is very similar to most hysterectomies that occur.
A hysterectomy itself is the removal of the uterus, the cervix, which is the opening of the uterus, and the fallopian tubes which are attached to the sides of the uterus.
Some gender-affirming hysterectomies will also include the removal of the ovaries.
So Boston Children's Hospital went from having a doctor living amongst children for nine years that was preying on children sexually.
I'm working on a full-part series on child trafficking.
And when you start to go into this very dark world of trafficking, you learn about a lot of things that many people don't want to accept and many people don't want to face and many people don't want to believe is true.
And they just opened a new facility right here in Ambrosia.
About how the blood of young people is the secret to anti-aging.
What if you could reverse the aging process simply by getting a blood transfusion?
That's what a new company called Ambrosia claims to do, and they just opened a new facility right here in the Houston area.
Rinka Mudaraj spoke to the founder to find out how young blood works.
Isn't there a saying that says only the good guy?
It's a good guy.
Yeah, that's pretty crazy, huh?
Wow, like naming it after the food of the gods.
That's nasty.
Ambrosia. Yeah, but that first part, that Nobel Prize winner, dude, what the fuck?
Yeah, he really didn't leave any room for ambiguity as to what was going on there.
Like, you know, oh, they just hung out with me or something.
Wow. And like how he said, oh, I never went after them whenever 100% of the time they ran into my bed.
Okay, first of all, it doesn't make it okay.
But I'm reading this book right now called Eye of the Chicken Hawk by Simon Dovey.
And just, dude, oh my god, like, every word in this book is like, oh my god, this is, I can't put this down.
Like, you cannot stop reading this once you start it.
But he talks about how these child pornography rings, which, holy fuck, they all connect, man.
John Wayne Gacy, Dean Corll, all these other serial killers who preyed on children, they all have connections to government officials, and government officials are involved in these rings.
This book is insane.
But he talks about how these children are groomed and trained to basically be traded to other people.
It's like a catalog, right?
These people get a catalog, like, I want this kid, send him to me.
And so the people who do it get the kid.
These kids are trained to be like, look, this is your job.
You got to act like you like this person.
You have to act like you love them.
Do anything they tell you to do or else, you know, and a lot of them get murdered in the end.
And so the way he says 100% of them ran into my bed just makes me think, like, these kids were fucking strained to do that.
Which, I don't think he's telling the truth at all, obviously.
Yeah, and I'm pretty sure he's probably romanticizing this quite a bit.
But at the same time, he could be telling the truth just simply because, yeah, these kids get programmed.
Yep. That's the trick, is it's like, it's not, a lot of them, This is the messed up thing.
Never had a normal life in the first place, so they have no frame of reference.
It's not that a lot are necessarily snatched off from healthy and existent families.
It's more along the lines of they never had anyone to come looking for them in the first place.
So, it's like they know no difference, so they're highly trainable and just get taught that this is normal, and how would they even have a frame of reference to know that it's messed up?
They're just treated that, oh, you're smaller, you get forced to do things because I'm bigger than you.
It's a terrible, terrible world.
And it's so common, way more common than people want to believe.
It's really insane.
Um, to switch to a little lighter note here.
A Welsh woman pleads guilty to sending fart videos to ex-boyfriend.
How the hell is that even a charge?
No, let me reread this.
Welsh woman pleads guilty to sending fart videos to boyfriend's ex.
So wait, just videos of her farting?
Yes. She just farts?
I'm just confused how that's...
I'm just confused how that's even like a crime.
Okay, we're going to have to go further into this.
Alright, so Rhiannon Evans admitted sending at least eight videos to Deborah Prithik where she passed gas directly into the lens.
I just want to say in case this ever gets adopted in the States, I am very sorry to everyone I sent fart videos to.
Please forgive me and do not prosecute.
A woman in Wales has pleaded guilty to wreaking havoc on her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend by repeatedly sending her cyber farts.
Rhiannon Evans, 25, was recently fined and given a restraining order after she admitted harassing her boyfriend's ex by sending her a series of farting videos.
All is fair in affairs of the fart.
All is fair.
Evan sent at least eight videos to Debra where she can be seen laughing while placing a camera on her bottom and then passing gas directly into the lens.
Ooh, you better, like, clean that off.
That's how you get pink eye.
I mean, do they charge her with, like, biological warfare there?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Let's see.
Prosecutor Diane Williams says it was purely malicious.
She was smirking throughout, found it hilarious.
It is fucking hilarious.
Come on.
What the victim didn't?
I would argue that part of mischief is something being hilarious without being vicious.
This fart video is not animal mutilation, for God's sake.
Wow. Yeah.
No, for real, dude.
She could have sent a video of her pulling apart a freaking rat or something.
Or something actually psychotic.
I'm just boggled that this is considered so horrible.
It's in Wales, United Kingdom.
So if somebody gets offended because you send them too many videos of you smiling and saying hello to the point where they take offense, could they prosecute you?
Because I don't really see any reason they couldn't.
Literally, they just have to say, oh, don't send me those, and you send another one.
Oh, this is abusive now.
Too many hello videos.
Boy, I like that.
And then the messed up thing is you think to yourself, what if they just set it up to fake send those from you?
Because you could spoof phone numbers and stuff.
So you could set somebody up pretty easily to literally...
Fake like they're sending it.
You just say, oh, stop this or I'm going to call the police or something.
And then their fake persona just keeps sending them and you get the real person in trouble.
It's really dumb.
The avenues of abuse is just so massive with such a law.
It's just terrifying.
Because the prosecutor, it could go, it could be anything.
Because as the prosecutor here says, this person found it hilarious.
The victim did not.
So it could be anything.
Anything. Yeah, because that's the thing.
It's presuming you're malicious because you're enjoying yourself.
I don't like that as a precedent.
No, so the couple was...
Those kids were jumping on a trampoline and one of them hurt themselves.
They clearly maliciously planned to hurt themselves.
It's like, no, they were having fun with it.
So the couple were arrested at their home and she admitted it all because this is why she did it.
She felt her partner was being treated unfairly.
I think that's...
Just a great way to go about it.
If I felt my girlfriend was being treated unfairly, you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to start sending her ex-boyfriend fart videos.
Just think about that.
You get a fart video, and what do you think about that?
You're like, wow, this person is pretty fucking weird to send me a fart video.
And then they send you seven more.
Then they send you seven more.
And then you'd be like, this person's insane, obviously.
That's my real question.
Did they even necessarily report it?
Or did they just call out saying, essentially, I think this person might be disturbed?
And they decided to turn it into an offense.
I'm curious if the state pushed it or if somebody actually reported it.
Well, it looks like the person felt offended.
So yeah, that's what I was wondering.
So they actually press charges.
God, how petty do you gotta be?
Pretty fucking petty.
She said she was drunk during the time, which I could believe that.
I don't see how there's any way of doubting that.
No way!
You were drunk while you said eight farting videos laughing your butt off.
You weren't sober during that?
No, I was wasted.
No way could somebody do something so brilliant drunk, man.
That's just impossible.
Impossible. Yeah, and the victim made a statement to the court that she would, quote, like to feel safe in my home, end quote.
Aren't you safe?
How is this hurting you?
This is what happens when you tell people words are violence.
They get so scared that they're afraid that...
Things like farts might actually kill them remotely through a screen as opposed to the way they normally kill them, which is in your proximity.
Look, you get a text on your phone from someone you don't like.
So do you read it and watch it, or do you just delete it and not have to deal with it?
This entire story could be solved with the block function exists.
It's not like this lady was changing numbers and stalking you.
No. Block the number.
It's literally right there.
So this could be switched around and blamed on the victim.
Why didn't you just block her?
Why did you look at her text?
Why did you watch the videos?
You didn't have to, but you chose to.
She counterclaims and says that it caused her unusual duress to have her fart videos not accepted positively.
Do you understand the level of trauma I went through when you told me you didn't like me farting?
Oh, no.
The court made her go to some rehabilitation sessions.
How do you rehabilitate that?
Eat more fiber.
Miss, you need to eat more fiber.
You need to change your diet up a little bit.
We'll just cut the farts off.
Good times.
Good times.
So, yeah, that's why you don't prosecute hurdy words.
Because it gets really incredibly stupid so fast.
Yeah, freedom of speech, man.
It starts out with people pretending like it's going to only be really offensive things.
But then you find out that people who get offended by things are massive pussies.
Yeah. So there's no bottom.
They just keep finding more stuff to get offended by.
You're like, oh, can I get offended if someone disagrees with me?
Can I get offended if somebody looks at me without smiling?
I guess so.
Can I get offended if they look at me and smile?
Very much so.
And wink.
And give you a wink.
Or if they don't look at me, that's also offensive.
That's denying my agency as a person to be constantly paid attention to.
Yeah. Why aren't you looking at me?
Why did you turn away from me when I looked at you?
Yeah, like once you start criminalizing really mundane behaviors, it goes downhill very fast.
So let me ask you this question.
What do you think about full bush in a bikini, which is trending on TikTok currently?
Full bush in a bikini.
Glad that I don't scroll TikTok.
New trend going on.
That's how I feel.
I mean, I'd say no.
Don't. Don't do that.
I feel about as good as I feel finding out that the term "anime girl" has been ruined on Google search because it's replaced actual commissioned artists'work with a whole bunch
That sucks.
Yeah. Because all the new slop has the SEO optimization up the wazoo,
of course.
Well, for real, any AI program can make any animation character.
Yeah, and then what they'll do is they'll make a crappy version of it, but then because they're AI-generated, they know all of the tricks that the AI will look for to search for, thus prioritizing them in the algorithm, despite the fact that they look like absolute butthole.
You know what else looks like an absolute butthole?
Women wearing full bush in a bikini.
I don't like it.
I'm putting my foot down on this.
You should probably, at the very least, trim the edges.
These are a bunch of feminists.
This comes from a group of feminists who are trying to push this trend on TikTok.
All your body hair is beautiful, they're trying to say, so just let it grow.
Let it grow.
And be single.
Forever. If the dude's into it, then...
Stay with that guy.
If guys like other hairy people, guys like to cuddle with hairy women.
I mean, we're only ever about 100 years from going back to being into it.
Yeah, for real.
Because our mating preferences tend to drop massively once our pool lowers.
That's right.
Take whatever we can get.
So it's like, oh, well, you know, full bush in a bikini.
Well, if there aren't any non-full bushes in a bikini.
Like, my only part in that...
You have a 100% chance of not getting laid otherwise.
You know, first, it's one thing.
It gets in the way.
Like, if you go down on a girl and she's got full bush, that's gross.
Because it's just like you're in a dude's beard, essentially.
And you're, like, trying to lick his lips.
It's just really gross.
And it gets in your mouth and you have long hairs.
And it's like basketball when Matt Stone goes to Brittany's mom's dresser and he likes...
Smells her panties, and he's like, oh look, a hair!
And he pulls his long-ass hair out of his mouth.
I mean, it seems like really both of our stories are kind of similar in that they both basically come back to a degradation in aesthetics, where you just don't care as much about how things look.
And there's a freeing thing in not being concerned with it, but there's also kind of a sad thing in not caring at all because you just don't care about yourself.
Dude, totally.
It'd be one thing if you were sitting there and being like, I'm doing this, it's liberating, but I feel like the fact that they're having the need to defend it knee-jerk shows that they're not 100% on board necessarily with the aesthetic themselves, or they would just let it stand and say,
nah, this is me.
Yeah, this is me.
When you inherently have to preload defenses of it, you already recognize their objections.
Yeah, I'm just not a big...
Lover of hair on women's bodies.
On the head, fine.
Arms, whatever, fine.
Legs, not so much.
Vaginal area, definitely not.
Ass, no.
Definitely not.
And then, like, you know, not only if you're going oral sex, if you're actually just going for regular sex, this goes for the women, too, because, like, our penises are going to end up pushing some of that hair inside of you, and that's not going to feel good for you.
So, it definitely does not feel good for us.
I'll say that for all men out there.
Screechy, screechy.
Yeah, and so it must not feel good for you either to have big clumps of hair, big old hairball being shoved up in your vag.
That can't feel good.
But again, this comes from feminists, so they don't have penises going in their vaginas.
This stupid feminist movement.
I mean, self-care was never really about impressing other people.
It's about, you know, I like how I am, so I'm going to take better care of myself.
Everybody always says you do it for other people, but...
They're doing a lot of this stuff for things that nobody's going to see ever.
Or most people are never going to see.
At some point, it's going to be for you.
The trouble is, now they don't feel like they need to do it for themselves.
Yikes. Sadly, they think it's a liberating and powerful thing, but it's more along the lines of, I feel like I'm not good enough.
Yeah, it really is.
It comes down to this low self-esteem.
Just let yourself go.
Just let yourself go.
Fuck it.
I mean, in medieval times, not bathing was considered pretty amazing.
But that was because they considered baths a place where people went to bed because of the Roman times.
So there was this huge backlash against bathing afterwards.
And I'm like, just because those Roman baths were like 0.7% semen at all times.
Probably more than that.
I'm low-balling it.
Low-balling.
Well, let's get on to some shitty news, or scary news, or unnerving news, I should say.
New York Congresswoman introduces Bill to make Trump's birthday a federal holiday.
Wait, what?
Yeah, Claudia Tenney compared Trump to George Washington and introduced a bill to make it a federal holiday.
But George Washington doesn't get his own day either.
I don't know why.
Well, she compared Trump to Washington.
That's so weird.
So literally another 4th of July then?
Because wouldn't he just be included in President's Day if he's so awesome?
I mean, that's not usually what we do.
She introduced a news release which she called Trump's Birthday and Flag Day Holiday Establishment Act, which would permanently codify June 14th as a federal holiday called Trump's Birthday and Flag Day, according to her release.
Alright, so it's on Flag Day, but she wants to add Trump's birthday to it.
Yeah, that really does seem kind of pointless then.
Especially if it's already a federal holiday that doesn't come with any days off or anything.
Yeah. Yeah, that's just restarted.
That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.
If you're going to give us another day off, then, you know...
Make it a Friday.
That might give me a reason to go for it.
Yeah, make it a day that actually benefits us.
Incentivize me.
But otherwise, I'm like, I didn't know it was flag day either, so I'm probably going to ignore it equally as much if they do do it.
Cricket. Cricket, how dare you?
How dare you?
Flag day, man.
I mean, it's kind of along the lines of, you don't know when Juneteenth is?
And I'm like, I just found out it was a thing.
Yeah, it just became a thing.
Let's not get into that.
We won't get into that.
Thick fucking mess.
So, Claudia Tenney is trying to get brownie points from Trump, obviously.
I'm sure Trump is pleased.
I mean, this is the level of brown nosing where you're browning the outer layers, the levels of the cheeks at this point, and possibly getting some in your hair.
Yep. And she's referring to Trump as the founder of America's golden age.
Yeah, I have not liked that term.
Washington's day is President's Day.
That's his birthday.
Well, because they always...
Well, because, you know, the Gilded Age...
I imagine they probably wanted to call that the Golden Age, but then everybody's like, but it didn't benefit anybody, so then it got called the Golden Age.
So how's this one going to be different from that?
It's not.
It's not.
It's not different at all.
So that's pretty fun.
That's fun.
Yeah, like the people in the unemployment lines can surf on their phones.
There's a difference.
And this next one here, I thought this was pretty hilarious, dude.
Have you seen...
Ilhan Omar, how she married her brother.
Yeah, I always heard speculation back and forth.
I never found out anything further about it, though.
Yeah, so Ilhan Omar did marry her brother and said she would do what she had to do to get him papers to keep him in the U.S. So Omar told friends years ago that the man who went on to become her second husband was in fact her brother.
Well, there you go.
And that's why she never sued Gutfeld.
Yep. Abda Hakim Osman is the first person to go on record to speak of how Omar said she wanted to get her brother papers so he could stay in the United States.
It's long been rumored that Omar and Ahmed Almi are siblings, but because of a lack of paperwork and war-torn Somalia, proof has never been uncovered.
So Ahmed Elmi is her brother-husband.
Think about how much money her news agencies must have spent by now to make that water so muddy I couldn't find nothing about it when I looked.
Well, because most of the stories you get, it's unclear.
And then it's like, this one confirms, yeah, it happened, but it's still kind of muddy just simply because of crappy paperwork.
And I'm like, that's a lot different from there's no proof at all.
That is not what I was reading in most of them things.
And as a Muslim, Omar married her brother-husband, Elmi, in 2009 by a Christian minister.
That's kind of weird.
That is a little odd.
Because her first marriage was to Ahmed Hirsi in 2002, and that was a Muslim ceremony.
They split up in 2008, and she later had another child with Hirsi, while legally wed to her brother.
Is it because her separation was Haram?
I was just thinking, if you don't leave for reasons of infidelity, or a lot of times...
They made all kinds of exceptions.
My personal favorite was the ancient Turks adding, if the woman refuses to prepare you your daily coffee, you can divorce her.
Yeah. Something as small as that.
A lot of divorce can be as little as refusing to get his coffee, but at the same time, you don't fall under one of those...
Like, you know, like exceptions, they might just refuse to blud you the next time.
So I wonder if there isn't more to that.
I don't know, man.
But I know that, you know, if your wife looks at another man or talks to another man as a Muslim, you could just go have a stone to death in your village.
So there you go.
For any reason.
I mean, that definitely is.
So, yeah, I could definitely see it being very much in favor of the dude at all times in every scenario there.
Yeah, 100%.
So probably a lot of it just came down to, you know, she was the one who left for non-valid reasons, so therefore it actually mattered.
Whereas I wonder if it would have mattered as much for the dude.
I wonder, well, who put out that new law somewhere in, like, Minnesota where you can't even...
It's like a...
It's supposed to be funny.
But a man can't masturbate and ejaculate?
Have you seen that?
Yeah, I was reading about it.
I think they actually made masturbation an exception in the end.
So that pretty much nulled the entire joke.
I feel like the homeless people that do it on the people get in trouble for that being assault already.
So you didn't need it for that reason.
So essentially, it doesn't cover anyone.
No. No, it's a satirical law.
Yeah, it's just meant to be a joke law where you just read through it and it annuls itself.
But it's way more fun just to read the first part.
Oh yeah, this is what I wanted to get into because of what the D.C. search results are all about.
I don't know if you saw this, but the Washington D.C. housing market is insane, man.
Everything is on that market right now.
Everything. So many houses.
And it makes you wonder, you know, how'd they buy them houses?
How did they buy those houses?
I mean, that's the trick.
They're not renting them.
And these are $1.1 million homes being given to people supposedly making around $100,000 a year.
And apparently there's a big swath of land in one of these communities.
I don't know where exactly, but it was all USAID paid for.
And basically it's MS-13 gang members.
It's in Maryland, I believe.
Brought them all up in this big, big gated community, and now they're starting a base there of MS-13 people, gang members.
And the authorities know about it, and so far nothing's happening.
Well, you know, if it's a gated community of gangsters, they've probably got enough money to grease those wheels.
So nobody will make a peep about it, sadly.
No. Unless somebody goes in and tries to dismantle it.
Then democracy is at stake.
Yeah. That'll be the really weird and schizophrenic thing will be is if anybody actually tries to deal with it and they make this huge stink and freak out and defend the gang members.
Like, no, we need to go protect those citizens.
And it's like, they're literally not.
We have these government officials protecting them.
Like, these government officials are the ones that got them set up there.
I don't know which ones they were.
Oh, yeah.
So if anybody ever tried to disentrench them, they'd find the government coming at them.
It happened a few times.
There's a few scenarios where people just gave up on reporting stuff and just went and dealt with it.
And sure enough, suddenly they remembered they could enforce things.
Like, imagine Officer Friendly.
I just remembered laws exist.
I don't know what this is, so let's listen to this.
I seek recognition to give notice of my intent to raise a question of the privileges of the House.
The form of the resolution is as follows.
Centering Representative Ilhan Omar of Somalia, I mean Minnesota.
Whereas elected members of Congress take an oath to bear true faith and allegiance to the United States without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion.
Whereas Representative Ilhan Omar took an oath of allegiance to the United States upon becoming a citizen, declaring, I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen.
Whereas on January 27, 2024, Representative Omar gave remarks at an event in Minneapolis in which she made treasonous statements.
Whereas Representative Omar said she has spoken to many Somalians who asked her to intercede for the Somali government by pressuring the United States government into certain actions.
Whereas Representative Omar assured the Somalians she spoke to, the U.S. government will only do what Somalians in the U.S. tell them to do.
They will do what we want and nothing else.
They must follow our orders and that is how we will safeguard the interest of Somalia.
Whereas Representative Omar continued, for as long as I am in U.S. Congress, Somalia will never be in danger.
Its waters will not be stolen by Ethiopia or others.
Keep in comfort knowing I am here to protect the interest of Somalia from inside the U.S. system.
Whereas George Washington warned in his farewell address of 1796 to guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism and further declared citizens by birth or choice of a common country.
That country has a right to concentrate your affections.
The name of American, which belongs to you in your national capacity, must always exalt the just pride of patriotism more than any appellation derived from local discriminations.
Whereas these statements by Representative Omar clearly violate the oath she took as an elected member of Congress to defend and protect the United States Constitution.
Whereas Representative Omar has exhibited the treasonous tendencies George Washington warned about.
And her actions must be condemned by all members of Congress who adhere to the oath they took upon assuming office.
And whereas by openly admitting her efforts to.
advance Somalia's interest using her position as a United States representative.
Representative Omar has revealed herself to be a foreign agent acting on behalf of a foreign government.
Now therefore be it, resolve
Representative Ilhan Omar be centered with the public reading of this resolution by the Speaker and Representative Ilhan Omar be and is hereby removed from the Committee of the Budget and the Committee on Education and the Workforce.
I say yes.
Well, what I wanted him to say was, silly Congresswoman, don't you know that the only government you can have dual loyalty with and it's okay is Israel?
Stop that.
Why didn't she say that?
Holy hell.
How many Congress people aren't just simply dual loyalty but dual citizens?
It's like 18% of Congress have dual citizenship with Israel.
So yeah, I definitely recognize that what she said was...
I mean, the fact that that was some chutzpah, like, I couldn't believe she thought you could get away with it.
Like, I'm just gonna work for Somalia.
Like, just screw the people who voted for me, pretty much, that aren't Somali.
Like, pretty much anyone in my constituency that's from here, F all you guys.
I'm gonna work for another country now.
Yeah. I mean, she doesn't belong here in the first place.
She married a goddamn brother to get him a green card.
As a federal employee.
Yeah, I feel like she's on the profound journey.
A profound journey to become her own grandmother.
That's gross.
That is gross, dude.
But yeah, Joshington did warn of foreign entanglements and boy, I mean, like I said, I complain about lots of dual loyalties, but could you get much more entangled than just flat out saying, I will work for the other government?
Let's see.
Which is crazy because, you know, most presidents are all like Freemasons or a member of some other secret society.
And in those other secret societies, especially Freemasonry, you take an oath of that secret society that oversees the United States' oath.
So when push comes to shove, you are answering to your brotherhood first and then United States second.
Yeah, you work for the Bank of England, not for...
The United States, ultimately.
Yeah. And that's how they all are.
Every single one of them.
Including Trump.
He just does a much better job of pretending he ain't.
Not really, though.
Just look at his moves.
Well, and they're setting up some wins for him right now.
The whole Doge thing was just an easy donk.
Everybody knows that the government's corrupt, but I'm not convinced that we're going to find all of it.
Just the parts that we can...
You know, hang out to dry of people that aren't loyal to the party.
Yeah, that's all that is.
It's almost like somebody commented on some show I was watching that it was like watching a new crime boss take over.
And that just seems so accurate because it was just essentially like, here we go.
Let's set up our own corruption.
We can't be having none of theirs.
Let's get it out of here.
Aflera! Also, add more.
I don't actually know the word for it.
I don't know.
I just love the clips.
They were hilarious.
So, I thought this one would be really intriguing to you, Craig.
Peter Thiel.
What do you know about this guy?
I actually know a few things.
He came up in the PayPal mafia, actually working with Elon Musk originally.
They split off.
And so, you know...
They've probably got some hand-in-glove action in the back door now between one another.
Oh, yeah.
But they're not as overtly linked.
But realistically, they probably are, really.
Oh, I'm sure they are.
He's essentially the dark and unspoken side of the alt-tech industry.
Like Rumble, essentially the free speech platforms.
It's kind of a scary thought to think that this...
You know, faceless, technocratic oligarch has so much control over what's claimed to be free speech.
Yeah, it's madness, dude.
Madness. And Peter Thiel, he's great friends with Trump, with Donald Trump.
Really good friends with Trump.
So Peter Thiel owns the company Palantir.
Yeah, he owns Palantir, you know, because we gotta rip off Lord of the Rings.
And completely ignore the fact that Saruman used Palantir for incredibly devious things.
Yes, very much so.
There was a recent event, some sort of Donald Trump, Elon Musk event.
It might have been like a couple months ago.
But on the back of the wall, whatever, there's a big screen where they have all their big advertisements.
One, the biggest one, was Palantir.
Just right there in everybody's faces.
Nobody was like, oh, that's kind of weird.
People were just like, oh, cheer it on.
Yay, Palantir.
Yay, we don't know anything.
Yay. So Palantir Technologies is a data analytics company that provides artificial intelligence models to militaries.
Palantir's software is used in war efforts in Ukraine and Israel and by the U.S. Army.
Palantir is AI-driven in Ukraine.
Palantir's AI-driven data analytics help the Ukrainian military with real-time intelligence, demining, and reconstruction.
Their software analyzes satellite imagery, drone footage, ground reports, and open-source data.
Their technology helped Ukraine identify and destroy Russian military vehicles and equipment.
And Palantir's partnership with Ukraine includes agreements with the Ministry of Digital Transformation, the Ministry of Economy, and the Ministry of Education.
And in Israel, Palantir provides intelligence and surveillance services to the Israeli Defense Force, the IDF.
Palantir agreed to a strategic partnership to supply technology to Israel to assist in the war in Gaza.
And some protesters accused Palantir of being complicit in war crimes during the 2023 Israel-Hamas war.
And for the U.S. Army, the U.S. Army uses Palantir software to transform how it uses data and AI to perform missions and make decisions.
And Palantir solutions connect the army's personnel, data, and resources.
Now, how would you...
Like, that'd be so crazy.
Like, you go into a war and every decision is just made off AI.
Like, you're not doing anything.
You're just waiting for AI to give you orders.
Alright, so drive all those trucks into the ocean.
Are you sure, sir?
Shut the hell up.
The AI commander knows best.
He's put in 30,000 hours to command and conquer.
He knows what he's doing.
It's just so scary.
So that's Palantir, man.
They legitimately kill people.
Palantir legitimately kill people.
And yet they couldn't create a self-replicating computer virus and call it the Bombadil.
Missed opportunity.
Totally missed opportunity.
And so everybody, and so, I mean, there's a, there are agreements or contracts, if you will, between Palantir and Trump and his administration.
Obviously, the U.S. Army, other areas of defense, yeah, they're up there.
And they paid the administration a shit ton of money to be part of the administration.
And J.D. Vance is, like, completely controlled by Peter Thiel.
Peter Thiel is the one that got J.D. Vance to where he is.
So keep that in mind.
Another important puzzle piece that I don't see a lot of people putting into this is that people need to bear in mind that how did PayPal first become really notorious?
Well, they were one of the first...
Payment restriction programs.
They had social credit before social credit was ever really on anyone's lips.
They were restricting payments, shutting off accounts, refusing.
They were the gatekeepers.
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
I just wanted to read that because it segues into this video that I wanted to play here.
It's... Ironically, PayPal turned into You Can't Pay Your Pals.
Yeah, it's...
I don't know where this is, but Peter Thiel is answering questions from the audience.
Let's listen to this.
Thanks, sir.
Is it true that you're harvesting the knowledge of a 300-year-old alien in your basement?
Yes, it's true.
Okay, so this woman is going to ask...
Yes, and...
Yes, and...
It's right by the bank room.
This one's about to ask him a question.
This is really funny.
So what do you think about the use of artificial intelligence or lavender by the IDF in identifying Hamas targets?
Look, I'm not, you know, without going into all the details,
I'm not on top of all the details of what's going on in Israel because my My bias is to defer to Israel.
It's not for us to second-guess everything.
And I believe that broadly the IDF gets to decide what it wants to do and that they're broadly in the right.
And that's sort of the perspective I come back to.
What the fuck, dude?
I always got to say, you know what the most famous quote of the censorship era is going to be?
Let's listen to this again.
I'm not on top of all the details of what's going on in Israel because my bias is to defer to Israel.
I...
I mean, I quote you on that, sir.
My bias is to defer to Israel.
He's like thinking to himself, he's like, there's an attack drone flying towards me right now, isn't there?
He's like, I need to...
That's why he's looking left and right and his eyes start going crazy.
I'm like, in the olden days, there'd have just been a dot on him.
Nowadays, it's just, like, incoming.
But yeah, that's always been my favorite joke, is, like, the most popular quote of the podcast and livestream era is just...
With all the censorship and all the awkward questions combined, like, 90% of people's quotes are just them freezing up.
I don't know how to answer this.
What's the correct answer, AI?
What do I tell them?
Grok, what should I write down for whatever the hell this dude said?
Oh, here, Nicholas Fuentes put this together.
Pretty cool little thing.
Tucker Carlson, he applied to the CIA.
His father ran VOA, and his son, hired by J.D. Vance, Peter Thiel, founded Palantir, which is a CIA front.
And Peter Thiel mentored Vance, pretty much owns Vance.
J.D. Vance, he's a protege of Peter Thiel, and he funded Tucker Carlson Network with $15 million.
So J.D. Vance pretty much made the Tucker Carlson Network through Peter Thiel.
So in other words, it's all Peter Thiel from start to finish.
And then Joe Kent, he's a CIA agent, and he received $1 million from Thiel, backed by Tucker.
And that's why J.D. Vance gets to go lecture Europe right now.
Yeah. It's because he's being the ordained hero.
He's being a good boy.
Yeah, he's been a very good boy, and he gets rewarded by becoming the good guy.
That's all pretty interesting stuff.
Thus begins the mythos of the J.D. Vance.
Because they're like, you know, we've already got the brash businessman, but we need the cowboy next.
Yeah, dude.
Oh, and Scott Perry, representative out of Pennsylvania, he came out and was saying that the United States USAID financed terrorist groups disguised as humanitarian organizations.
That's pretty big.
He was saying that about $700 million annually, plus the shipments of cash funds and equipment and stuff in Madras to help fund ISIS, help fund Al-Qaeda, help fund Boko Haram.
And ISIS-Khorasan.
And also other terrorist training camps.
They said they were the Soul Liberation Society.
We didn't ask too many questions about how they liberated those souls.
Just murdered them.
You're free!
You're free!
Line up against the wall.
You'll be free soon.
Yes, face wall and be free.
Holy shit.
700 million annually.
I wonder how long that happened for.
I mean, how many games of football can you play with bricks of cash?
Yeah. I mean, ISIS was created.
Al-Qaeda was created, fuck, a long time ago.
What, early 90s?
Al-Qaeda was formed in the 80s with Osama bin Laden in the late 1980s.
Well, basically, the United States.
The CIA are the ones who created Al-Qaeda.
And put Osama bin Laden at the head.
Al-Qaeda roughly translates to, well, depending on who you ask, the base or possibly the toilet.
Because, you know, if there's anything that's halal in Muslim society, it's the crapper.
It almost felt like it was almost a mocking, like, we dare you to figure this out challenge there, where it's essentially, yeah, would this be accepted by their society?
Like, really?
If it were coming from them.
And then ISIS.
I still remember the clips where they mixed in clips of kids asking to go to the bathroom because they didn't realize they're not actually referencing that Al-Qaeda.
I'm not sure about those videos.
Or something like that.
I don't know if they ever actually had a video but supposedly going to the bathroom because they were listening to chatter and stuff so people coming to the bathroom would be...
Ah, yeah.
Mixed in.
Which has got to be really fun for Intel gathering.
Oh, yeah, dude.
If I was going to be gathering info, that's exactly what I'd be.
Just hold up, install three, never come out.
I mean, if you think about it, what a great way to muddy the waters on what people are referencing.
Like, oh, I got to go to the base, the bathroom.
Oh, I work for Al-Qaeda.
I work for the bathroom.
I work for the base.
Yeah, supposedly it translated to toilet, and yeah, I always thought that was weird, because...
Yeah, it's kind of strange.
They're okay with that, I guess.
Let's see what else we got here.
How about this?
In Seminole County, Florida, Allen Davis 69 is famous for all the wrong reasons.
Click Orlando reported, Davis' unsightly property has been the bane of his neighbor's existence for 25 years, and this year...
As he celebrates the anniversary of his first county code violation, he's added another element, a six-foot-tall fiberglass representation of a human butt.
That's awesome.
Also in his yard, stacks of scrap metal, steel drums, rusted appliances, tarps, junked vehicles, and towering weeds.
Davis calls the yard a political protest against the county government.
I pile it up intentionally to aggravate them.
As of mid-January, Davis owed the county $5.4 million in fines with more accruing every day.
I'm not going to pay it.
I do what I want on my property.
Twice the county has paid to haul away thousands of pounds of junk, but Davis starts collecting again.
It's like a modern Boston tea party.
Quote, freedom has a look.
This is what it looks like.
End quote.
Dude, I'm on his side.
Alan Davis.
Hell yeah.
I mean, honestly, you just need to be able to look like crap.
I don't like the thought of 5. million in fines for this.
That's so insane.
That's a lot of money.
That is so much money.
And why?
Because you don't like the way his property looks.
And I'm like...
How exactly would he pay it if he intended to?
How much does the dang property work that 5.6 million in fines?
Who knows?
Is this like an HOA?
Doesn't say.
What I'm hearing is a lot of this is the protest of I moved out here to get away from HOAs and then it turned out the whole friggin county was an HOA.
Burn it all down.
Yeah, I was about to say you're chatteling Sir Patrick Henry here.
Liberty or fines.
Here's another one from Atlanta News First.
This just came out on the 4th.
The deceased, 21-year-old Malachi A. Mitchell, was allegedly meeting the driver to sell him a gun.
Mitchell's mother said, although police say the investigation is ongoing.
After questioning the driver, who was
Let him go?
What a confusing story.
It is very confusing.
How about this one?
Ashton Mann, 23, of Kearns, Utah, was arrested after shooting his unnamed friend in the chest on February 4th,
And on February 2nd, police were called to a home where they found an unresponsive male.
He was pronounced dead at the hospital.
Mann told detectives that he and his friend had smoked weed earlier in the evening and handling two guns.
The victim told Mann that he could dodge a bullet.
While Mann said the guns were unloaded, about six rounds of the game, one discharged and struck the victim as he tried to jump out of the way.
Mann was expected to be charged with felony manslaughter.
Like, watch this magic trick.
I could dodge bullets.
I've done it with bow and arrow when I was a kid, way back in the day.
We would take a bow and arrow and we would shoot them straight up in the air and watch for them to come down and we would dodge them.
The key point is don't try to dodge projectiles that your eyes can't see.
That's not a good idea.
Yeah. They have no idea where they're going.
Just think of them like hitscan weapons from...
From games.
You're not dodging that.
It's already hit you.
Alright, how about this next one?
A man was captured on video in Palmerston, North New Zealand, using a busy kiddie pool to give himself a bath.
The man, who wore swim trunks, had a bar of soap and lathered up his arms and legs before putting his hand down his shorts and vigorously washing his hindquarters.
Facebook user Luminous Degade let his camera roll as everyone around the pool looked on, commenting.
Bro, it's not a bath, alright?
Kids, get out of the pool, the man said.
People who viewed the video...
Wait, there's kids in the pool?
Yeah, there's kids in this kiddie pool.
It was a very busy kiddie pool, and this guy gets in there and starts cleaning himself up.
Ew. People who viewed the video wondered why no one confronted the man, but others defended him, with one noting, I've heard children laughing about taking a piss in the same pool.
I watched another child drink from it.
Who's really the yucky one?
Yeah, I mean, that's...
Yeah, there's a lot...
Like, don't ever drink the water in kiddie pools.
Yeah, that's disgusting.
Also, don't take a bath at a public pool.
Don't do that either, please.
Yeah, don't do that either.
Another complained.
Whole pool full of people and no one there in that video stood up and told them to stop.
I mean, I would have.
I feel like a lot of them were probably just in shock.
Thinking, is this really going on?
Is this dude actually taking a bath right now?
I would have been like, yo, bro, what are you doing, man?
Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
Community shower right over there.
Go wash yourself off.
That really is kind of an interesting thought.
You'd think at least one person would be like, what the hell?
No, man.
No. Feels like it just confirms simulation theory further.
There weren't any player characters available to take offense to the act, so everyone just thought, must record.
Because that's the NPC script.
It's not, I should do something, because, you know, that makes you a main character.
It's, I should record it so other people can see that I didn't do anything.
What's this one here?
Things got heated at a Wingstop restaurant in Port St. Lucie, Florida, on January 28th.
Carnale Irene, 19, who worked at the location, told police that two customers, one A minor, became loud and disruptive.
And one of them pushed a container of straws off the counter.
Oh boy!
Irene responded by throwing ranch dressing at them before she went to the kitchen and returned with a bucket of hot grease, which she then threw at the victims.
Ow! Oh god, that would burn forever.
Bitch, you'd be crazy!
She was charged with aggravated battery and aggravated child abuse, both felonies.
Wow. Bitch!
What the hell, man?
Yeah, that's quite the escalation.
Boy, hot grease burns like hell.
And it sticks to you on top of burning.
Yeah, no good.
I spilled it on myself, as you can tell.
It's not fun.
I spilled it on my foot.
It went through my shoe.
I didn't think it was going to go through my shoe, through my sock, and onto my foot.
Oh, it did.
It did.
And then the worst part is once it hits skin, it just bonds to it.
Shit sucks, dude.
I had the worst blister on the top of my foot.
Oh, it was so gnarly.
Oh, I remembered a bit of news that I had.
Yeah, what do you got?
Oh, I was telling you about it about a week ago.
The guy who ran the SWAT for hire rig.
Remember I was telling you about how a bunch of different streamers like Tim Cass, Cornering, Crowder, five or six others were all getting SWATed by somebody?
Everyone was trying to figure out what was up with it?
Yeah. Well, I guess a year ago, they hemmed up the guy, and it didn't end up being a very big story, because I sure as heck didn't read much about it or hear about it.
But they nailed him way back then.
But I guess now, the more recent story is that he's actually cooperating and giving out names to his clientele list from Tor Slots.
So, instead of the swatter getting in trouble, the people who actually commissioned these, what I frankly would argue are murder-for-hire attempts, are going to get exposed, too.
Okay. Because I guess he made some kind of deal to get 37 months for 400.
400 is what he admitted to.
Different swats?
Different swatting incidents.
That were done for hire through this TorSwats dark web program.
Holy shit.
At this point, he's all hemmed up and done.
He's given up fighting and arguing he didn't do it and just agreeing to cooperate.
But wow, what a mess.
I still remember, I was watching a clip of one of them.
And I remember thinking to myself, This is so commonplace for these people that nobody's even freaked out.
Because they're just like, are we getting swatted again?
Yup. Cops are at the door.
And then they always walk up to them.
Oh, hey.
Yeah, you can walk on through.
So bored.
How do you get swatted so many times it becomes boring?
Oh, shit.
I mean, well, in his case, it was literally like most of the police force by that point knew him from the previous incidents.
So over time, they took them less and less seriously.
But yeah, it was the most messed up thing I'd ever heard.
I'm like, this dude was running a for-hire swatting program.
The streamers were the notable ones, but he also swatted colleges and some HBCUs and stuff and a few other places.
It wasn't really ideologically driven.
It was just, I have no morals and I'm willing to send people or send cops to their house to potentially get them hurt for money.
It's super messed up.
That's very messed up, man.
I fucking hate swatters.
Oh, yeah.
Kind of like that.
And then, of course, the other convict news we've had this week is, what was his name?
Luigi Mangione making his first statement.
Oh, okay.
What's his first statement?
Like, it wasn't terribly notable, but I guess it is news in that, you know, people kind of just remember he exists again.
So, for those who don't remember, Luigi Mangione...
He's accused of murdering UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson just like a month or two ago.
Oh, there it is.
Released his first statement since arrest to thank supporters.
Because he effectively became a celebrity in prison.
Well, he instantly became a celebrity.
Like, he was...
He was so hot.
So hot.
So buff.
Someone pointed out that if he was heinously ugly, that he would have never had the mystique.
No, of course not.
Of course not.
If you look like a Charles Manson or something, no.
And that's when people weren't asking things like, how do you have a broken back and get super buff?
Yeah, that's a thing.
So I don't know what's going on with that shit.
I haven't looked into it since it all was going down.
I looked every so often just to see what was happening.
The news media kind of tried to quell the story when they saw people were sympathizing with him.
They just kind of tried to shut it up after that.
Yeah, and there's a fucking Netflix documentary about him now?
Oh yeah, well you know, you gotta create the mythos for the Luigi now.
For real.
Since he somehow became a celebrity.
But yeah, I don't know if I should really necessarily read the statement because it's kind of boring, but it's just essentially he's thanking all his supporters and blah blah blah.
I don't Originally, I thought he said he was actually claiming he was framed up.
I don't see anything about that now.
I don't know, man.
Because originally, didn't he try to claim that he was actually set up when he first made his defense in court or something like that?
I could not tell you that.
I could not tell you.
I know that a crowdfunding thing raised over $300,000 for him to get an attorney.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, the whole story is so schizophrenic.
It's like this super rich, privileged guy who is on the way to becoming some kind of executive didn't actually have anyone die to denial of health care, apparently.
That was just a convenient...
That's what people thought happened that they ran with.
So, then goes and shoots this healthcare CEO.
Absolutely no policies get changed at all.
He gets turned into a hero, runs off while he's in hiding, supposedly pens a confession right before he gets nailed.
The confession first starts out by saying, I didn't work for anybody with the government, just so you know.
You know, like, it's really important before I say things like that I love my family or anything that I want to emphasize I'm not working for the government, okay?
Just really get that out of the way and dispel them conspiracy theorists.
The whole thing is just a giant conspiracy.
Yeah, it totally is.
It's so absurd.
And so, honestly, I don't even know if it necessarily got quelled because of the mythos.
Because I feel like they wanted that part to happen.
I think it got quelled because way too many people ask things like, how's a broke-back dude get so buff?
And carry out a cold-blooded murder.
And also, write a confession in 30 minutes while he's at a thing where he talks about he didn't have any government help.
Yeah. It's all very weird.
Where he gets ID'd despite not looking at all like the image they put out.
Yeah, exactly.
He wasn't dressed in the clothing that the person said he was dressed in.
He didn't look like the person at all.
And yet somehow this McDonald's dude is just like, that's the guy.
That's him!
I'm putting in a tip right now and he's going to get nailed while he's still here as he sits to wait for food and doesn't find it all inexplicable that McDonald's is telling him there's a wait on the friggin' food.
You know, the fastest of fast food places, like maximum of like six minutes to make anything there.
Yeah, it's just nonsense.
We're going to need you to wait past all these other customers, but don't be suspicious.
It's just the story.
The story just hurts me.
The casing of the bullets.
The casing of the bullets that delay deny the post.
The story, it just hurts me because it's not even good fiction.
It's really not.
It's like hackery.
This is like the crap that you see at the store next to sleazy romance novels.
Like, you know, but not in the Tom Clancy section, but in the knockoff of the Tom Clancy section.
In the Goosebumps section.
Yeah, the discount Clancy.
The Dean Koontz's of Tom Clancy novels.
And so, yeah, it all felt so amateurish.
And honestly, just recounting it, it's ridiculous.
It's just silly.
So, I'm not shocked that they killed the story.
The story is so absurd that every time it gets brought back up, everyone keeps going, wait, that was what we were supposed to believe there?
Oh yeah, and they dressed him up like Harvey Lee Oswald as well.
Because, you know, let's take the symbolism all the way.
It's so stupid.
Yeah, it's just super ridiculous and silly.
Everything about it, especially the glamour shots.
But the normies are all like, oh my god, he's so hot!
I can change him!
I can change him!
It's like, you know, a generous telling of the story, since it's all just a story, nobody knows really what the hell happened, is that it's like some kind of mafia hit that they needed a cover story for.
Because the dude was about to roll over on some shady dealings.
And, you know, honestly, that narrative sounds way more likely than, I don't know, a heroic Mario character destroys evil CEO.
Of course.
Yeah, dude.
I don't like it.
It's just like everything that comes out in the news cycle is just a PSYOP of some kind.
Yeah, that one just feels like more than most.
And it almost feels like now, because it's been kind of memory-hulled a bit by being put in the rearview, now they're trying to dredge up the sentiment that they wanted to create back then.
Because a lot of the people that were asking questions about it back then just really aren't interested in it anymore and have moved on to other scandals.
I mean, hell, would we have looked into it if I hadn't mentioned it?
Would we have looked into it ever again?
No, it's too ridiculous to even...
Dig into.
It's like a Minecraft world.
There's nothing underneath it.
That's sad.
You dig too deep and you just fall through the end.
Just fall into the void.
I never understood that game.
Other than it's massively popular.
I always thought the game had interesting implications for things like simulation theory where if you go far enough out the procedural generation starts to break down.
It demonstrated some interesting things about reality when you go to the really extreme overflow points.
Yeah, I know there's some weird legend to it, weird shit about it, but I don't know.
Let's finish this out with this article called Disabled Man Wins $6,000 from Cops After Being Mistaken for a Bus Masturbator.
I feel like there's a really amazing story behind this.
There has to be.
This was published January 22nd, 2025.
Man, I can't believe it's 2025 already.
It's crazy.
Alright, so there was this man.
This man has won $6,159.10 United States dollars.
From UK police after being wrongly accused of masturbating at a woman on a long...
at a long bus.
At a woman.
Like, not just, you know...
At a woman.
Like, not just to your...
You didn't just do it keeping it to yourself.
No, you did it at that woman.
You're like, huh, huh, huh, looking at her.
You're pointing down.
You seeing this?
You seeing this?
I'm kind of imagining that scene from, like, Silence of the Lambs.
Where she's about to leave the prison reflector and the dude throws it at her.
Yeah. Throws a good old facial on her.
It's so gross.
I mean, he told her he could smell it.
What did you think was going to happen?
A man has won £5,000 or $6,159.10 in the United States dollars.
A payout from police after being wrongly accused of masturbating at a woman on a London bus.
Brent Naylor from Finsbury Park, North London, was arrested over the incident as he was identified following a Metropolitan Police appeal.
But police officers soon realized he wasn't their man.
The damage was done, as neighbors saw him being nicked.
Aw, poor guy.
Also, it's even worse, though.
It wasn't like somebody mistook his actions for it.
Like, they misidentified the dude.
Yeah. So it was a completely different homeless guy who did this.
Yeah, or some guy.
He may not have been homeless.
Probably a cop or something.
I guess we can assume he's homeless, especially because he got away with it.
Yeah, probably a cop.
He knew exactly how to do it and get away with it.
The homeless dude had probably gotten caught doing it.
So this 56-year-old man says the police...
So the police's incompetence in arresting him for an indecent exposure he did not commit.
Has made him the subject of verbal and physical attacks ever since.
Yeah, I would blame the shit out of the police and I'd sue him.
Also, what the hell is wrong with your society that people are just attacking you now?
What's the UK?
I was about to say, like, so you write, like, a negative article about somebody and people come out and physically attack you?
Yeah. That seems kind of wrong.
Everything in the UK is wrong.
Everything's wrong there.
Yeah, I mean, that definitely tracks with pretty much any story ever coming out of the UK.
It's like, you know, man offends rapist, gets $6,000 fine.
Yeah. Turns out the rapist wasn't a rapist.
Man fines $6,000 for defending man who wasn't really a rapist.
Yeah. Well, the funniest thing was in this case, the dude actually was, and then he got a worse fine for insulting him than the other guy got for doing it.
It was super messed up.
Yeah, so Brent, the guy, he's disabled.
He's been assaulted.
He's been evicted from his home and even banned from his favorite pub ever since being handcuffed by six officers at his front door.
I mean, you're the subway anchor.
Nobody wants to talk to you now.
Something happened.
He said, quote, They pinned it all on me without actually investigating at all.
It was disgusting.
The description of the guy was six foot.
I'm 5'8".
I'm the slimmest person alive, and this guy was fat.
Now, I don't trust the police.
They have put my life in danger.
They are horrible people.
End quote.
No lies detected.
Yeah. Damn.
Yeah, no lies detected.
This guy is telling the truth.
I was about to say, the fact that that description is just so completely off just kind of sounds like they had a thing out for this dude to me.
That's what it sounds like.
And he's essentially suing for the retaliation because...
Yeah, that sounds like some straight-up lawfare, man.
So what happened?
Like, oh, yeah, somebody did something bad.
So my question is, did they arrest him to cover for whoever did it?
So what happened?
It's kind of weird.
So Mr. Naylor's ordeal began after someone claimed he was the man in a witness appeal for indecent exposure on a 393 bus towards Kentish Town.
The man, who was over six feet tall and described as being chubby with dark...
Brown hair was reported as having got off in Islington when police released the CCTV footage someone called up and gave Mr. Naylor's name.
They're like, I know that guy.
His dog took a shit in my yard.
Yeah, it sounds like somebody had a beef with him to me.
Yeah. Despite looking nothing like the man in the shared image, officers arrived unannounced and arrested him in front of his neighbors.
Jackasses. I mean, from what I'm hearing, whoever this was, they got off earlier than Inslee.
Yeah. But even after being cleared of any wrongdoing, Mr. Naylor says he was still routinely heckled and threatened in the street.
That kind of comes with it, yeah.
I mean, it's like the most shameful thing.
Like, dude.
Just before this Christmas, he was hospitalized after being struck over the head with what's believed to have been a bottle.
And then it shows a picture of a scar on his head.
He got beat up.
Yeah, so again, You know, worst case scenario, you had like a psychotic episode.
And so now people are holding it against you.
And so, yeah, being wrongfully accused.
Again, how messed up is your society that you think, oh, this dude did a bad thing, so I'm just going to break a bottle over his head.
What is wrong with you, Britton?
Again, it's Britton.
That's what I was about to say.
You throw people in jail for insulting rapists, and apparently you break bottles over heads.
Because somebody got misidentified.
Because they're not a rapist.
Yeah, because they're not one.
So Mr. Naylor said, quote, It's not nice getting called a nonce.
It's embarrassing.
I know everyone around here.
There are still people after me.
I was assaulted just before Christmas.
Also, isn't a nonce kind of a specific accusation and not what he did at all?
Yeah, it is.
So people are calling him an even worse thing.
Mr. Naylor is registered as disabled due to nail patella syndrome, a rare genetic disorder that causes constant problems with his bones and joints.
He cannot even straighten his arms.
And then the cops didn't give a shit and handcuffed him behind his back, causing him further pain.
They knew he was disabled, still handcuffed him.
Like, they knew this guy.
They knew him.
And more to the point, wouldn't that make it impossible to wake?
Yeah. If you can't straighten your arms.
There's certain physical maneuvers that are required.
Yeah, it kind of just sounds like everybody had it out for this guy.
So all of the arresting cops are like, this is our guard!
We were beating him up and doing the whole cop thing to this guy.
Kicking him around and shit.
And then the senior cop comes and takes two seconds.
And it's like, that's not him.
And then they released him.
That's not him.
He weighs like 200 pounds too little and he's like half a foot shorter than he is.
Exactly. I mean, that's the best part.
It's like, what kind of jerk just saw like a completely different person and heard a completely different description and just thought, I don't like my neighbor.
Yeah, it was a neighbor.
It was someone who, that guy's dog took a shit in the neighbor's yard.
That neighbor had something against this guy.
So the lesson that's derived from this is be nice to everyone forever, and you'll probably still have someone that takes offense and does this crap to you.
That's true.
That's true.
And that's going to be the end of the show.
Sorry! It's going to be the end of the show.
Next week, we are going to be talking with Ryan Mata about child trafficking.
He's really breaking a lot of fucking stories out.
Yeah, actually, we kind of covered one of the stories he broke today, didn't we?
Wasn't he pretty involved in that Save the Children scandal in Guatemala?
Oh, I think he did a story on it.
I don't know if he was involved in it.
I just remember him highlighting it a lot with some articles a while back.
Yeah. I didn't mean like he was down there, but I thought he broke a lot of that stuff.
Well, yeah, I mean, he pretty much broke that love to whore Jewish sex ring with children.
Yeah. Doing some quite unhappy work.
Oh, man.
It's some hard stuff.
Yeah, I'd be scared traveling if I were him, dude.
But he's, like, flying everywhere.
It's like, ugh.
I don't know.
I don't know, man.
They wouldn't let me fly, so I never have to worry about that.
Yeah. How do you want him?
No fly list?
No. It's just, I got no shots.
I can't fly out of the country.
Is that a thing?
U.S. is the only state.
Or U.S. is the only nation that doesn't require it.
That doesn't require it.
Yeah. Explicitly.
Just to be a city.
Pretty much everywhere else.
Oh. If I wanted to go from here to Guatemala, Guatemala would be like, are you facts?
I would have to update my whole thing.
Yeah, I wouldn't even bother.
Fuck all that shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whatever. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, this is just a fun little...
We'll mash up some new stories and what's happening in the world.
Good shit, bad shit, funny shit, ironic shit.
Exciting stuff is happening, but we'll hear about that next week.
Yeah, we'll hear all about it next week.
It's mostly weird stuff happening this week.
God, those are some bizarre-ass stories.
Yeah, next week it's probably going to be more violent, I would assume.
A lot more violent things are going to be happening.
Just a guess.
Just a guess.
But until next time, ladies and gentlemen, don't forget to smash that like button.
Do some liking.
Do some sharing.
Share these episodes around.
Go listen to our last episode.
It was a heavy hitter.
Heavy hitter.
Trump to Trump.
Check that one out.
Remember to always distrust the government.
Sometimes they end up having to beef with you even if you don't do nothing to them.
They actually have a beef with you when you don't have a beef with them.
Sometimes they have a beef with you because you don't have a beef with them.
That's what I'm saying.
And they'll come around with their building clubs and start clubbing you around.
Well now, sir, if there's no problem, then that's a problem.
Then we're going to have to create a problem, sir.
Anyways, ladies and gentlemen, until next time, take care of yourselves.
Take care of one another.
Cheers, everybody.
I see you got my letter.
Finally. What are you gonna do, Al?
I don't know.
What about the past couple of days?
They have.
I know that they happened, and they won't.
But they were also very irresponsible.
I have a fiancé waiting for me at a hotel who's going to be questioning...
So you make love to me, and then you go back to your husband?
Was that your plan?
Was that a test that I would pass?
I made a promise to a man.
He gave me a ring and I gave him my word.
And your word is shot to hell now, don't you think?
I don't know.
I'll find out when I talk to him.
This is not about keeping your promise.
And it's not about following your heart.
It's about security.
What is that supposed to mean?
Money! What are you talking about?
I hate you.
You slow bastard.
If you leave here, I hate you.
If you leave here.
If you leave here.
I ain't even paying attention to anything.
I think I must have misread all of those signals.
I guess you did.
You're born!
You're born, you know, and you wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing.
You son of a bitch!
Would you just stay with me?
Stay with you?
What for?
Look at us, we're already fighting.
Well, that's what we do.
We fight.
You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a bitch, and I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass.
Which you are, 99% of the time.
I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings.
You have like a two-second rebound rate, and you're back doing the next pain in the ass thing.
So what?
So it's not going to be easy.
It's going to be really hard.
We're going to have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you.
I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.
