Episode 100. Halloween Special 2024 - All Hallows Eve
CONTACT US: Email: paranaughtica@gmail.com Twitter: @paranaughtica Facebook: The Paranaughtica PodcastContact Cricket: Website: www.theindividuale.com Twitter: @Individualethe Happy Happy Joy Joy...That’s right, it’s that All Hallows Eve (day) again, once gain, just like every year. A day for people to dress up like demons and ghosts, and ‘sexy’ zombies. It’s a day that has been celebrated for millenia but, perhaps, probably for all the wrong reasons. But, who cares....right?What we are doing today is....we are going to listen to some personal paranormal or ghost stories that were experienced by real people.....some people who wanted to share their stories with us via email, handwritten letter, and phone call – see, you can get a hold of us any which way you please.Cricket and I will also give a handful or two of our own personal experiences, and I’ll say, their pretty good. So buckle up Para-Cup, velcrow down all your velcrow straps, of which you should have many....and let’s get spooky dooky. ***If you’d like to help out with a donation and you’re currently listening on Spotify, you can simply scroll down on my page and you’ll see a button to help me out with either a one-time donation or you can set up a monthly recurring donation. You can also go to the Facebook page where I have a link to Ko-Fi and Pay-Pal if you'd like to help out the show. I would greatly appreciate it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
So let's just say this is going to be the official Halloween show.
Got a bunch of candy.
That's what I did.
You got a bunch of candy already?
Yeah, you get some every year, but then I almost never get trick-or-treaters, so then I just eat all the candy.
Works out good.
Yeah, yeah.
That's kind of what my parents do.
They live in an area where they don't have a lot of neighbors, but they'll buy all the candy expecting a lot of neighbors, and they never show up.
It's like, who did you really buy that candy for?
I anticipate one, maybe.
Yeah. Which is my excuse for getting the fun-sized snack bag of candy.
Oh, man.
Those are so expensive these days.
The Halloween pack.
Yeah. Well, everything, I guess.
All the Halloween candy.
So expensive.
But especially the stuff.
You got that fun pack, whatever.
It's just like the typical old school candy.
Some Tootsie Rolls and some suckers.
And it's like 20 bucks for a couple pounds.
Yep. The worst part is the best deal in all that candy is the day after Halloween.
Yeah. But you got to get it before.
Yep. Yeah, well, what we're gonna do is just send the kids out to go trick-or-treating, and then I'm gonna take all the candy.
Oh, yeah, so that's what I do every year.
Yeah. If I get my own candy.
Yeah. Because, you know, otherwise, that way you get more of a variety.
Oh, yeah, dude.
You gotta have the variety.
And I remember back in the day, when we were growing up, going trick-or-treating, we'd get caramel popcorn balls, caramel-covered apples.
Oh, man.
A couple rocks.
Good times.
Yep. I can't go now.
I creep people out enough without trick-or-treating as an adult.
Oh, I go now.
They're like, dude, Halloween's not for another, like, six months.
You know, depending on when I'm out.
Everyone looks at me and they're just like, they freak out.
They hear that.
Whenever I go outside, this is what they hear.
You know, that'd be a great Halloween costume.
Walk around with like a sound box.
It would be.
To make creepy sound effects for yourself and stuff.
Like the violins.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. So, ladies and gentlemen, we're just going to get in the meat and potatoes of this.
We have a lot to get through here.
But first, let's just talk about the history.
Where the hell did Halloween come from?
Why do we celebrate Halloween?
Do you have any ideas?
Cricket? To disguise ourselves so the demons don't get us?
That's exactly it, man.
So I just quickly found this awesome description by Heidi Stonehill, the executive editor for the old Farmers Almanac, almanac.com.
Great site, by the way.
My grandma used to get the old Farmer's Almanac all the time.
I used to, like, look at that and, like, how did these people calculate all of this?
You know what I mean?
So the origin of Halloween and many of its costumes can be traced to...
Sawane. Yeah.
That's an interesting word because it's spelled S-A-M-H-A-I-N, but it's pronounced Sawane.
Cricket had to educate me on that, actually.
Yeah, and I've seen it said Samhain many times, so...
Yeah, I'm sure all of us Westerners would pronounce it.
I mean, that's how I pronounce it.
Samhain! It's pretty commonly pronounced that way.
But it's Samhain, which is an ancient pagan Celtic festival that is Gaelic for summer's end, a day to bid goodbye to warmth and light.
It marks the end of the harvest season and the start of winter, or the darker half of the year in my least.
The ancient Celts believed that the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead was at its thinnest during Samhain, making it the ideal time to communicate with the deceased and divine the future.
After the Roman Empire took over Celt-occupied lands in the 1st century AD, the Romans combined many of the Celtic traditions, including Samhain, with their own.
This day evolved into...
All Hallows Day, or All Hallow Mass.
Hallow meaning to sanctify.
Years later, the Roman Catholic Church designated November 1st as All Saints Day in honor of the Catholic Saints.
It was celebrated with a mass, bonfires, and people costumed as angels and saints parading through the villages.
November 2nd brings All Souls Day a holy day set aside for honoring the dead and departed.
Just as November 1st was once called All Hallows Day, October 31st was called All Hallows Eve.
Over time, All Hallows Eve was shortened to...
What, Cricket?
Halloween. Yes.
Ooh, spooky!
Alright, dude, so where do witches come from?
Witches on broomsticks, do you know?
Witches on broomsticks...
Bathtub acid.
That's what's great.
Technically, well, ergotamine, if you want to be pedantic about it.
So it's ergotamine.
Of course.
Extract. What they would do is one of their potions that they would create, which were, well, they were drugs, not magic.
Yeah. But what they would create is Well, an ergotamine extract, and essentially eating ergotamine, the reason that people couldn't actually do LSD for the longest time was because you would become violently ill along with it,
which would tend to make the hallucinations that accompany it, of course, very nightmarish and unpleasant, because your body's having a terrible reaction on top of it.
Jesus, you'd think you're dying for real.
Yeah, because you're eating a whole bunch of mold.
Tripping balls.
But if you made an extract of a certain sort, a witch's brew of sorts, you could then apply it to a surface, and then via rubbing your body on that surface,
you could take it topically.
Because absorbing it topically would allow you to absorb the chemicals you want it to get without absorbing the, well, the death.
Yeah, well, when I use topical solutions and whatnot, I go straight to the source and just put it right up the old booty hole because, you know, it's full of just blood vessels, so it just absorbs.
Yeah. I just pump the lotion right up there.
So, essentially, imagine a naked lady out in the woods.
Rubbing herself all over a stick.
I'd be very ecstatic about it.
I don't know what I would think.
I'd be weirded out.
I'd be creeped out.
In medieval times.
So, naturally, at a time where there is such a fear of the unknown, they're going to garner a stigma.
And, of course, that was encouraged.
Witch! As a stigma.
It's a witch!
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, so, witches are a common costume on Halloween, we all know.
A lot of sexy witches.
And in the Middle Ages, women were labeled as witches from the Anglo-Saxon word.
I think it's witchy?
Wiki? Witchy?
Or a wise one?
Yeah, originally it was just wit.
Mmm, wit.
Effectively, somebody learned.
Yeah, or like, you know, some uneducated Anglo-Saxon middle-aged dude is getting shut down by this hot woman.
In the woods rubbing herself with a stick.
And she's obviously a little more intelligent than he is.
And he comes up to her and makes a move.
And she's witty.
Says something to anger him.
And he runs off crying like a little baby.
And then he goes and calls her a witch.
And then somebody...
That's how it all started.
And then they take her house.
Burn her alive.
Because we're pissed off.
Anyway, get on with this.
The messed up thing about the burning part is that...
Is it a time where they were inventing things or just before they invented the guillotine specifically because they wanted to be more humane executing people?
Yeah, burning is not a fun way to go.
Yeah, you generally weren't burned.
But at the same time, the executions at the time when they talk about people being headed pre-guillotine was also usually pretty gruesome because it wasn't usually a clean slice.
This isn't movies.
No, dude.
We're going to be doing an episode on executions throughout the millennia.
And yeah, there's some crazy stories about executioners being super drunk, taking an axe out there to behead someone, and completely missing the mark and making more...
Problems for the to-be-executed person.
Not pretty.
Not pretty.
Anyway. Such a woman, as a witch, would curl up near a fireplace and go into a trance-like state by chanting and meditating after using those hallucinogenic herbs.
And superstitious people believe that these women flew out of their chimneys on broomsticks and terrorized the countryside with their magical deeds.
It sounds like the people are tripping balls, not the witches.
Maybe the witches gave them something.
A little bit.
Might have shared.
Might have shared a little bit.
I mean, I did hear quite a few stories at the time of people complaining about potions they were given and such, too.
Snake oils.
Well, essentially, a lot of times these were the herbal healers of the village.
And then as the witch craze took over...
Because a lot of times they live just out on the outskirts and everything.
Not necessarily completely separate, but not with everyone else.
Yeah, Men in Tights.
I believe, yeah, that's a great movie.
And the witch in that movie, they do a great representation.
Because that's based around the same time we're talking about here.
Anyway, how about Bobbing for Apples?
Do you know where that came from?
That one, I am not sure of.
It was a Roman festival for Pomona, the goddess of fruit and orchards, celebrated around November 1st.
Romans believed that the first person to catch a bobbing apple with his or her teeth, if they had any left, would be the first to marry in the new year.
They also believed that apple peels held the secret to true love.
The love Lorne would peel an apple in one long, unbroken piece and throw it over his or her shoulder while being spun around.
The shape of the peel on the ground represented the first initial Interesting.
I used to do that with Oranges.
Yeah, there was a lot of the love festivals.
Lupercalia. Turned out Valentine's Day.
Yeah, I'm noticing there seems to be a lot more than just Valentine's Day back then.
There was multiple ones.
Love, fertility, brotherhood.
All the time.
I mean, what else are you going to do?
Might as well party.
Shit, dude, like you farm half the year and then the other half of the year you're partying.
So, what about carving pumpkins?
Do you know where that came from?
Let's see.
I think I read it once, but I don't remember.
In ancient Ireland, revelers hauled out large turnips or potatoes or beets and carved them into a demon's face to frighten away the evil spirits.
They lit the turnips from within with a candle or a piece of smoldering coal.
They then placed the lanterns in the windows and doorways of their homes, believing that the carvings would scare off evil spirits and welcome deceased loved ones inside.
Which is, that's interesting.
That's interesting.
Irish immigrants, arriving in the New World during the early 1800s, found the plentiful, easier-to-carve pumpkins, ready substitutes for the turnips.
That's like, oh yeah.
Paranormal. You should carve turnips.
I gotta have some paranormal bounces for the holiday.
Yeah, they want to scare off evil spirits, but welcome in the deceased spirits of their loved ones.
So it's like they're a protective lord, eh?
Neat. Not quite a talisman, but some sort of protective amulet or something.
What about the origin of the jack-o'-lantern, then?
Do you know where that came from?
Let's see.
The fire.
No. Well, it originated in the 17th century Britain, where it was used to refer to a man with a lantern or to a night watchman.
The British would call men whose names they didn't know by a common name like Jack.
Thus, an unknown man carrying a lantern was sometimes called Jack with the Lantern.
Sometimes called Jack with the Lantern, or Jack of the Lantern.
According to one story, the term jack-o'-lantern originated from Irish folklore.
As that story goes, a man called Stingy Jack invited the devil out for some drinks and asked him to play a parlor game to see if the devil could turn himself into a coin so that they could pay for the drinks.
After the devil obliged, Jack ran off with the coin and the devil was trapped inside of it.
Jack freed the devil based on the deal that he would not claim Jack's soul when he died.
Jack also played another trick on the devil to extend his life.
When Jack finally did die...
God wouldn't let him into heaven, and the devil wouldn't let him into hell.
Why would you want to go to hell?
Instead, I guess hell is better than purgatory in between or something?
I don't know.
Instead, jack-o'-lantern aimlessly roams the earth for eternity with a lantern carved from a turnip to light his way.
Whether this theory about the origin of the term jack-o'-lantern is proven or not, it's become a popular and not-too-scary ghost story today.
And some believe that jack-o'-lanterns represent Christian souls in purgatory.
Ah, interesting.
On All Saints Day, Roman Catholics visit tombstones to honor the memory of deceased relatives.
And on All Souls Day, Catholics pray for those souls believed to be in purgatory because they died with the guilt of lesser sins on their souls.
Stingy Jack is believed to be roaming endlessly in a sort of purgatory.
So, it's not too difficult to see the connection, right?
I totally need to wish on my Dark Souls friends a happy Souls Day.
Happy All Souls Day.
That's too good.
Yeah. And what about costumes?
Why do we wear scary costumes?
Or completely slutty ones?
Well, I don't know about the slutty ones.
I wonder if they wore the slutty ones back then.
I mean...
Technically, you're just disguising yourself as something else to hide your appearance.
That way, well, I mean, to blend yourself, blend in with the fiends and whatnot.
Yeah, yeah.
To look like one of them.
So, I mean, you could have a slutty outfit, like, if you're dressed up as a succubus or something.
Yeah. So during Sawway and superstitious country folk, We're trying to scare away something you can't see and can't really probably influence by doing that.
But... And so why do they know what they look like to dress up like them?
You know?
How do they know?
I always wondered about that part.
It's like a...
Because the 4D universe has a universe of archetypes, which are where all these visions of fiends, gods, heroes get imprinted into our minds from.
So I imagine it's like almost...
Direct download of sorts from the collective consciousness.
Must be.
And this final question I have for you.
Where do we get trick-or-treat from?
Why do we go trick-or-treating?
Because candy is delicious.
And it's time to give something back to the parents.
So, an extra place during Samhain.
An extra place was set at the table as an offering to deceased loved ones.
Food was also placed outside near the doorway to appease the bothersome spirits who might otherwise play tricks on the inhabitants of the houses there.
Such as tipping over milk containers, which that can easily just be some stupid little kids playing tricks, being assholes.
Today's trick-or-treating dates to the Middle Ages.
When poor people collected baked goods called soul cakes from the wealthy, the poor promised to pray for the giver's deceased loved ones in exchange for those tasty little succulent cakes.
Hence, trick or treat.
So there wasn't a trick originally?
Well, the trick would be if you didn't do it, if you didn't put food outside, the spirits would play tricks on you.
Oh. So you get supernatural repercussions.
Yes. Getting all the paranormal, noisy ghost stuff happening.
Poltergeists, that's what I was thinking.
Makes total sense.
Yeah, so now we have just little kids going out there, you know, our own children, dressing up like demons, or representations of demons who are going to houses acting like bothersome spirits, and they will play tricks on you.
If you don't give them what they want.
I don't think that's a good life lesson to be teaching children.
Do you?
Give me what I want or I will do something bad to you is not a good life lesson?
What do you mean?
I learned it very rapidly playing GTA.
Oh yeah.
100%. I've been playing a lot of GTA the past couple days.
Oh man.
I literally woke up, dude.
Okay, my TV was on and it was like...
On the new, or no, Unsolved Mysteries.
This is just this morning, early this morning.
And I wake up, I look at my TV, and it looks fake.
Everything looked like it was all graphics, like a game.
And I was watching it, and I'm rubbing my eyes, like, why does it look like I'm playing a game?
And it's like, I must have been playing GTA that much.
Where, four hours later, I wake up, and the TV looks like it's still playing a fucking game.
It was weird, man.
You got reverse screen burn-in.
It was something.
Instead of the screen burning in, your retina's burned.
Must have been.
I was maybe a foot away from my 40-inch screen.
Maybe the game was on in some kind of shadow alternate universe.
Yeah. That could be it.
Who knows, dude?
Who knows?
So that's the history of Halloween.
So why don't we get into some story?
Do you have a quick one, really quick?
Sure, why not?
A personal or a write-in or anything?
Let's see, I have a really, uh...
I have a really brief one.
Okay. I remember riding with a wet wifey in the car, and...
Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
I gotta find this.
Where is this?
Yeah. Oh, God.
It's so melodramatic.
Alright, so I was riding in the car and this car in front of us just right out in front turns off to the left and then we realize as we're looking at it that it's actually going the wrong way down the road and it goes behind the building and literally a second later a car comes the other direction like the car was just gone and Had I not gotten confirmation from the
passenger that she'd seen it to, I wouldn't have even acknowledged that the damn thing was there.
It was effed up.
I was like, you saw a car?
Yeah. Was it silver?
It was silver, right?
Yep. Same one.
But it's like it turned down the wrong way.
And then...
Just drove down the road and disappeared.
It was crazy as shit.
Did it have a driver?
I couldn't see inside of it.
It was a ways out just far enough that it went past the building and disappeared right before we cleared that point where we would have been able to see it.
Creepy, dude.
I don't know if I've ever seen a ghost car.
Or anything like that.
I have driven the wrong way down a one-way once.
Well, normally, like I said, normally I'd chalk it up to a hallucination, but, you know, someone else saw it, too, so I was like, it's a group hallucination.
Ooh. If it's anything.
Ooh. Alright, so, we got a call.
East of the Rockies.
Hello? Where are you?
I am in northern Montana.
I am west.
I'm in the Rockies.
Wait a second.
Is this my mom?
Yeah, it is!
Wow. You're calling in the show.
That's cool and embarrassing.
It says east of the Rockies here on the...
Thank you, son.
It says east of the Rockies here on the old computer.
So you're calling.
You have a ghost story, I am told.
I do.
Well, let us hear that ghost story.
This is like 35 years ago.
You guys are taking a nap.
You guys are little.
So it might have been even more than 35 years ago.
And I was laying on the couch and I was taking a nap.
And all of a sudden, my hips start hurting really bad.
And I look up, my legs are way up in the air, and I'm on my side.
And I'm going, what the hell in this dark, icky figure was there?
I'd say rancid.
I can't smell it, but that's what I think, rancid.
And I went, holy...
I didn't say nothing.
I was just freaking out.
And all of a sudden, this white light showed up.
That's how I got to say it.
You couldn't see the angel or spirit, but you could see the light with something inside of it.
And she said, go back to sleep.
I'll take care of it.
And I didn't.
Went right back to sleep.
And I don't know when I woke up.
I don't know if they did a battle or anything.
It was for good, battling evil or what?
And was this in the house that we grew up, that I grew up in?
Yes. That was the house that we grew up, you grew up in.
Haunted. Oh, it was.
There was a little boy that does it all the time.
You remember the little boy?
I don't remember a little boy.
Remember that?
Turn off the lights and TV?
Oh, yeah.
The TV would go off all the time and the outdoor freezer would open and close.
That was that little boy.
I never saw a little boy.
Oh, I did.
He was a mischief.
Mischief little boy.
Mischievous little boy.
I wonder, because remember, you guys had to put a deadlock on the door because I would sleepwalk outside.
It was so weird because we grew up in the middle of the woods, not much around us at all, and just woods, forests.
Yep, forests.
And I would walk...
I don't know, Crystal would too.
So I would literally sleepwalk outside and how, like, I would, would I sleepwalk back inside or would you guys ever, you would find me outside?
What's that about?
We usually caught you before you got too far.
We'd hear the door open and close and slept by the door.
That's so weird.
Cover, go back to bed!
So weird.
I wonder what was calling me out there.
I don't know.
But, you know, they say people that sleepwalk have mental...
Mental problems?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
So, a lot of people say that the smell of rotten stench would come with a demon, something evil.
I don't know, because I don't remember that part, but I know that's what I felt.
just rancid, just covered in rancid, like rotten quarter to the being.
And the white was so pure.
It was just amazing.
It was just freaking amazing.
But I had some, I have seen so many spirits in my life that,
Yeah, it's a little creepy.
Your legs are just up in the...
Like something's holding you, like pulling you up into the air?
Yeah, my legs are up in the air.
I'm going to look up and my legs are way up in this rancid,icky...
Black thing was holding on to me.
What the hell?
And the white guy appeared.
I'll take care of it.
Don't worry.
And it was just complete.
I don't know if she put me back to sleep or what.
Because I went right back out.
Because I wanted to run.
That's the first thing you want to do is jump and run.
But she was right there.
And she came really close to me.
And you felt so comforted.
And not scared.
I lost all my fear and said, okay.
Yeah, there were so many times in that house where I would wake up in the middle of the night trying to scream for you personally, Mom!
And nothing would come out of my voice.
I didn't have a voice.
I could not scream.
Where we lived there, I think, was a portal.
Because we had so many ghosts that went through there.
So many.
Yeah, and that weird cabin behind the house, up the hill, like, old, old, rotten-down, like, just a four-wall cabin thing with an old bed frame in there, like a spring thing, mattress spring.
That's probably from the old, old days when the Chinese used to build the railroad, you know?
Oh, wow, yeah.
And that's why I think some of them were the Chinese people.
I'm sure some got murdered.
I've heard of it.
I mean, I've heard rumors.
I don't know.
You know, that was a long time ago.
That was a long, long time ago.
That's where you find those sketch ovens everywhere, because the Chinese would cook in the rocks.
That's just creepy stuff.
Do you have another ghost story from earlier in your childhood, perhaps?
Oh, yeah.
One day I was coming home from school.
Coming through the woods, just singing and skipping, you know, like little girls do.
And I looked up, and there was this person.
I know it was a male.
Just like I knew that spirit was a male.
I don't know why, you just know.
But you could just feel the evil looking at me.
And I just stopped.
And I ran.
I got my ass in trouble that day.
Because I wouldn't come home until my parents got home.
I just wouldn't.
I was too scared.
Yeah. I know.
They're just, they're all, this house has them.
But you know, they run up and down my stairway here.
And I know that's my, you know, my brothers that passed away, because I can hear them giggling and run up and down the stairs.
It's like they went back to their childhood kid time, and they'd run up and down the stairs, and I'd have to tell them to shut up.
And they would.
They'd stop.
Yeah, this is the house I'll be inheriting.
So, full of ghosts.
You'll be there.
Dad will be there.
All the grandparents.
All your brothers and sisters.
Oh, man.
Yeah, but my parents, they don't hang around too often.
Only when I need them.
My brothers do once in a while.
I don't know why.
Just to bother me, I guess.
I think it's funny.
I will say, it's a free security detail.
Yeah, a good security detail.
Oh, no, but you know, Ireland started this whole thing because they think Halloween, you know, the ghost, that's the thinnest veil of the time that the spirits can enter our world.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Isn't that weird?
But I never felt that way on Halloween.
I don't think I ever felt that way.
Well, yeah, to me it's a pagan holiday.
I mean, I don't celebrate it.
I don't think I've dressed up for a very long time.
Let's see.
What was I going to say?
Speaking of your house right now, I have one story about that.
Grandma had passed away.
You guys had cleaned the whole area out.
No one was living there.
And I was there with an ex-girlfriend.
And we were sitting in the kitchen.
The whole place was just wiped out.
And Grandma used to keep scissors and other little objects above the counter.
She had little hooks there.
You guys still have them?
Yeah. And we were sitting there, and her scissors were still on there, hanging.
And there was a cup right below it.
And we were sitting at the table.
And I just happened to see something moving in the corner of my eye.
And I look over, and the scissors just started slowly swinging.
And I'm like, what the hell?
And then I told her, and she looks, and she's like, yeah, what's that about?
And so I get up, and I stop them from swinging.
And I just, I stop them.
We both look, they're not moving.
And I even set up my DSLR camera, because I got footage of this.
And we sit back down, and sure enough...
They just start slowly swinging back and forth and get harder and harder until they're just perfectly like a pendulum.
Just doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot.
And I stopped them again.
And I did it again.
I think that was Grandma telling me, get rid of this girl.
This is not a good girl.
What do you got that girl in the house for?
You get out of here.
Get her out.
That's what she'd be saying.
Get her out of here.
Yeah, it's creepy.
That's the only weird, creepy thing I've experienced in that house.
I know that first house, that was an amazing house of ghosts and spirits.
Freaked me out at first how many, but then, you know, you can just talk to them, become friends.
The evil ones, you just send them back to hell.
I know Dad's not here to tell a story, but maybe you can tell it, because you've probably heard it more than I have.
I used to have him tell me all the time.
When he and his brother were rock climbing.
You're talking about by the river tracks?
Yeah. That was him and his cousin.
Oh, him and his cousin.
They were rock climbing.
And Greg fell onto the train tracks and, like, what, broke his back?
He couldn't move or something?
No, no, he just was hurt.
He just hurt.
And then Dad looks down the railroad tracks and he sees a woman dressed in white, correct?
Yeah. And this was just, like, near where we lived, right?
Yeah. Okay.
A woman in white, like a white dress?
I don't know.
Do you remember the description of it?
I don't know.
I can't remember.
Or like anything he felt?
Did he feel at ease?
Like it told him don't worry or something?
Oh, he was scared.
Yeah. Dad doesn't do his spirit well.
He sees those things and he goes, uh-uh.
I don't want no part of ya.
He kind of got used to him living in the house up there, but you know, that was his first time encountering a spirit.
And it was pretty freaky, but he just ran to take care of Greg,'cause he didn't want
Yeah, there's got to be a lot of dead bodies around that area.
Well, yeah, don't you think so?
I guess there is.
Loss of life.
And back then, the Chinese weren't treated that well, you know?
Yeah. Yeah.
So you can imagine some of these drunk white men, you know...
Yeah, there's not much repercussion of killing someone who's not even, like, on a record book anywhere.
No. I know.
It wouldn't be.
That's what I'd like to know is how that went around here, but there is no really history.
I've heard stories, but, you know, I don't know if any of them are true.
Yeah. All right, we better move on.
Thanks for calling in east of the Rockies, west of the Rockies.
I'm in the Rockies, aren't I?
East of the mountains.
East of the Rocky Mountains.
My own mama.
My own mama called.
Shut up, guys.
All right, Mom, you take care.
Love you.
I love you.
All right, bye-bye.
Have your show.
Speaking of portals, I remembered a quick one.
My buddy had a place that he was staying in the basement of, and there was this mirror down there that, you know, was the standard game with the house.
Random piece of decor on the wall.
And his little sister...
She came down there with her pet bunny that she was holding in her hand.
And she was showing the bunny its reflection in the mirror.
And she started freaking out and screaming and bugging out.
So everybody came downstairs like, what the hell?
What's wrong?
Nobody's down here.
What's the deal?
And she said that looking in the mirror, she saw the bunny all like, Dead and rotted with worms crawling out of its eyeballs and shit.
Oh, dude.
No. So they brought a medium-type lady over there to check it out.
She said that it was a portal of some sort.
That they'd best get rid of it.
No, thank you.
And then the weird thing is they never got rid of it.
Like, they just kind of left it and then ended up getting away from it just by moving out of the house.
So, you know, it's just waiting for the next person.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Yeah. So, speaking of the house I grew up in, dude, one of my earliest experiences of something paranormal.
So, I had...
You walk up the stairs...
You go through the door, and then to the left would have been my parents' room, to the right would have been my room, and then you go through this little, like, doorway, and then to the right was another, one of my sister's rooms, and then to the left is a bathroom, and then down the hallway was another bedroom,
and then living room, kitchen, just, yeah, anyway, so, where my room was, next to the door that I'd always walk out of at night in my sleep, I'm way in there, and, I had this shelving area that went pretty much up to the ceiling.
There was like maybe a space, about a foot of space between the top shelf and the ceiling.
And on the top shelf, I had just a bunch of random things up there.
It was almost like a storage area.
And there was this old, old, old ceramic music doll thing.
One of those things you spin and it turns and just plays music, you know?
It was one of those ceramic ones, like a porcelain figurine.
And it hadn't been touched in ages.
It was just up there, chilling.
Storage, right?
And I'm just sitting in my bed.
I don't know what I was doing.
Maybe I was playing, like, PlayStation or something, but...
Or it would have been before PlayStation.
Long before PlayStation.
Would have been regular Nintendo.
And all of a sudden, the figurine starts spinning and playing music, dude.
Stopped me dead in my tracks.
I just stared at that thing.
Like, waiting for it to do something again.
Like, try it.
Yeah, I was just like, what the fuck?
I must have been, like, 6, 7, 8, maybe, I don't know.
I was young.
And I was just like, what was that?
Because I was fully, fully in tune with, like, the spiritual aspects of everything in that household.
That was, like, connected in.
Dialed in, dude.
So, like, I saw that happen, and I'm like, yeah, that's definitely a ghost.
And I went up to it after it stopped doing its thing, and I was, like, spinning it to see, like, how...
Because it wasn't spun up!
And, like, how was this thing all of a sudden just spinning?
So... That is weird.
Yeah, it was weird, dude.
That was weird.
And then...
Oh, shit!
Not too long after that, maybe, I don't know, I can't tell you how long it would have been, but that same shelf, I found...
Maybe a dozen of these tiny little frogs, bro.
Tiny little frogs.
At least a dozen of them.
I started collecting them in a jar.
How did they get there?
How did they get there?
There's no way they could have gotten there.
It makes no sense to me.
To this day, I'm just like, how did a bunch of frogs just appear on the top of this shelf?
Tell me.
None of my family had a bunch of frogs.
None of my family had frogs, alright?
I can say that for a fact.
How did all these tiny little frogs get up there?
It doesn't make sense.
Like, they would have to have been.
Because frogs need water, right?
They need water to, like, stay sticky.
Stay all, like, slimy and whatnot.
Like, they have to be around water.
Am I wrong?
I mean, they can get out of water for short periods, but they're amphibious creatures.
They're amphibious creatures.
There's no water up on this shelf.
And how...
It's super dry up there.
And how would they get on the shelf?
It was taller than me.
It was like two of me stacked on top of each other.
How did they get up there?
I mean, even a toad would need access to water.
Yeah. You know, which is just the land frog.
It makes no sense to me, man.
And I'm thinking about it right now, and I'm like, it makes no sense.
There's no leak.
There's no water leak in the roof to allow any sort of little frog egg to get in there and turn into a dozen frogs.
I mean, there's just no way.
It had to be like a glitch in the Matrix.
Unless someone that I don't know snuck in there one day and just tossed a bunch of little tiny frogs up my shelf as a joke, which I can say...
Would not have happened.
It's like that house in the Animatrix where time flows in reverse at one point and it rains indoors in one of the rooms constantly.
Hey, did you ever hear the story about that guy who could make it rain?
This was like back in the 40s, 50s, 60s or something.
But he literally could make it rain and they did a TV show on him and he like...
He was arrested for some reason.
And he was in jail.
And he was making it rain in his cell.
And the guards would be like, how are you doing that?
And they sent him to the warden or whoever in the office.
And the warden's like, alright, make it rain in here then.
And he made it rain in the office.
This guy could literally make it rain.
Or maybe it's much bullshit.
I don't know.
I feel like that would be a really useful skill.
You'd be like an instant higher in any desert climate.
What are your qualifications?
I can make it rain.
I don't even know what I'm applying for.
You should just pay me.
I will turn this desert into a paradise.
You know what?
Maybe it isn't HAARP and all this crazy technology that the government's using.
Maybe it's just these psycho...
The programming psychics to make it rain.
Yes, these psychics who can just think and make it rain in North Carolina and Florida and Nevada.
And these new floods in Spain.
Holy crap, you see this?
All over Spain, just crazy flooding happening.
The same hurricane-type storm.
I mean, hey, if you believe you could do it, you could throw a mountain in the ocean.
I mean, making it rain is really less hard than that.
Making it rain.
Alright, you got a story?
Yep, I got one wrote down here.
Speaking about back when you were little type ghost story, when I was about five or six, my oldest sister got herself a Ouija board for her birthday.
Oh no.
Oh, she wanted me to add that her mom really didn't want to get her one because she actually had a bad experience herself with it as a kid.
But, you know, whiny kid, complained, whined, I want it, finally got her to get it for her birthday.
Okay, fine.
So, you know, go ahead and be traumatized yourself.
Yeah, my parents would never let me have one.
For a good reason.
I actually just saw a commercial as a kid for it and asked my mom how to pronounce the word because they didn't say it.
It was just on the screen.
I was like, how do you say that, Uja?
And she's like, you don't need to know about that.
Yeah, and even though Hasbro took it up and made it what it is, it doesn't make it any less of a tool.
Oh no, and here's a good example of that for sure.
Alright, so, you know, can't have a Ouija board without a Ouija session, right?
So, her and her friends played with it that night, and of course...
Our storyteller here tagged along as the little sister.
This is her older sister who got it as a present.
In true little sister fashion, did the same whining and insisting until she caved and let her come along.
They scared me with it.
Of course.
So they scared her with it so that she would leave her alone.
And she left.
You know, of course.
Freaked her out.
Which, they're creepy, dude.
I don't blame her for being scared.
Alright, so later that night, as she was laying on the couch in the living room, she looks down the hall towards her sister's room and sees a giant head floating towards her.
Oh, man.
Yeah, it comes out of the room, flies directly towards her, comes up to her, and then disappears.
She gets freaked out, hides under a blanket, and cries for her mom.
Yeah, and her mom, immediately after that, having had the prior bad experience, cut off the Ouija board session, took it away from her sisters, and hid that sucker.
That thing was gone after that.
She described the floating head as being kind of like the Great Oz from Wizard of Oz.
Like the big head he presented himself as.
Think of it like that.
Like an ethereal head.
So, yeah.
No, no thank you.
Don't play with the Ouija, Ouija boards, people.
Yeah, I've played enough Castlevania.
I know that thing needs at least two or three whips.
Yeah. We had these nearest neighbors.
They were two young brothers.
I think a year or two older than I was.
They were dark individuals.
They were super into witchcraft, Satanism, like heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy.
And they had...
They had a Ouija board, and they brought it up, and we played it, and...
Yeah, I mean, I wish I never did.
Um, but they, like, they killed our cats and shit, dude.
They were not good people.
Evil, evil people.
Maybe that's why they'd open up some evil shit up there.
Oh yeah, it was one of those motherfuckers that shot me in the head with the BB gun.
One of those high-powered BB guns right in the...
Almost got me the eyeball, and the BB went under my skin.
Damn. I had to press it out.
Screw those kids.
Or dudes, whatever the fuck they are.
Damn you!
Yeah, I feel like that darkness goes way past the Ouija board right there.
Yeah. They were not good.
Not good.
Do you have a personal story?
Oh, I got a couple of them, actually.
Alright, give us one.
Alright, so we'll start with the...
Well, I was babysitting, and so I was at my friend's house, and my friend was dating this guy who had a very dark spirit attached to him.
Like, really nasty, like, arc-demon-type spirit.
I feel it at times around them.
Anyways, they broke up half a while after this.
They were both off and I was watching the kids because they didn't have anything else to do.
It's pretty easy because they're just up there sleeping.
As I'm sitting there, I get this horrific feeling, and this thing that's attached to him, I can feel that it's upstairs.
Like I said, it's up there.
And so the dog runs up there, starts barking, bugging out, and I start running up there.
Thankfully the dog doesn't wake the kid up.
And I start following it.
This thing's name is...
Think of the guy who guards the pearly gates, but take the letter R off the end to make it informal, but that's his actual name.
I'm not going to say it, though.
All right.
Anyways. But, you know, if you want to figure out what it is, maybe you don't say it either.
Yeah. It's...
But... So I go up the stairs, and I get this...
Terrifying vision projected into my head of this nasty, dark spirit behind the dog.
Like, in between the dog and the bedroom.
Like, just pretty much a shadow man, effectively.
Like, projected out.
It was pretty freaking terrifying to the point where I, uh, where for, like, uh...
I'm seeing it in my head, and then for a second I could actually see it there.
And I was like, damn, that thing's strong.
Because I can't normally see things.
Normally stuff's got to project things to me.
I can't really see them out there in the physical realm.
This thing was potent, though.
And so I got the notion that...
And so I got the notion that the...
Dog wanted to help me, which was actually an incorrect and foolish notion based on me being a terrible spiritual neophyte.
The dog was actually being possessed by this thing and trying to fool me.
But thankfully my guide intervened and just effectively told me there how to perform a cleansing ritual on the fly.
And just told me in my head to envision this.
Brilliant light, and it growing outwards, and coming outwards from myself, and outwards throughout the building, and then out beyond that.
And so I did that, and I banished this thing away, not really understanding what I did, thinking I got help from the dog, because stupid me.
I didn't realize the dog was trying to fool me.
It was actually my guy just intervening and being like, no, kick this thing out.
Wow. So I go tell my spiritual mentor about this afterwards.
And I say, oh yeah, the dog helped me.
And she's just like, you need to not be messing with those things.
You don't understand what you almost did to yourself.
And I'm just like, well, what do you mean?
Completely derpy.
I thought I was some kind of exorcist.
So yeah, I got some help to kick it out.
Thank God.
But yeah, it was a creepy one.
And that sort of thing, it stays attached.
I think this person eventually got rid of it when he went sober and it could no longer take him over.
Ooh, got sober.
That's something about alcohol, you know?
They call it spirits for nothing.
They don't call it spirits for nothing.
Yeah. See, and the trick is you drink yourself to the point of opening yourself up.
It's not a matter of just...
It's like...
You're blacking out.
Part of blacking out, when you're at the blackout point, you're very susceptible in general.
Yeah, it's very interesting.
The people that are all worried about being buzzed and being taken over, it's like, no, most of those things are going to be looking for the easy target, the one who's falling asleep at the table, etc.
It was a crazy-ass thing, dude.
Creepy as hell.
Yeah. It sounds like it.
I, uh, I've had...
Man, I've had one experience with a figure shape, a form.
Um... I want to save that for a little later, though.
So I'll tell the story about...
Well, hold on.
We have an email story I was going to read here.
Oh, yeah, it's about a ghost cat.
So you just have, like, a ghost...
Not really a ghost dog, just a possessed dog, I guess.
Um, so to keep it in line with animals, this email is sent to us from Carly K. Uh, she wants to tell us a spooky tale of which she says happened to her.
Okay, so, this is Carly K. Hello!
So this truly happened to me, I'm not even kidding.
I was around seven or eight, and we had this black cat.
Blacker than black, who was adorable and the whole family loved him.
His name was Midnight for various reasons, one being that he seemed to disappear from the house around that time.
We lived in a single-story house a little bit outside of Jacksonville, Florida, I'm assuming.
In hindsight, that is scary enough.
That's her saying.
In hindsight, that is scary enough to live in Jacksonville.
Anyway. One night, I was awoken from something.
I don't know what, but whatever it was, it woke me up suddenly, and I felt a little uneasy.
Maybe a lot uneasy.
There was this window next to my bed, ground floor, and I decided to just look out of it.
As I sat on the edge of my bed, staring out of a window, I watched Midnight stroll his way away from the house into the darkness.
Exactly at 12.03am.
I know because my digital clock blared its ugly red light directly into my eyes.
I hated that clock.
I can relate to that.
You remember those old digital clocks just beaming?
Yes, I used to have.
I used to have one that had an alarm to it that was so obnoxious.
Like, it didn't ring or...
Play, like, a little tune.
It sounded like a freaking alien death ray.
It just went...
Just non-stop.
I was like...
Like, it sounded like it was overloading, like having an electrical failure or something.
Yeah, dude.
My old digital clock that had its red light, just like what Carly Kayes is describing here, its alarm was...
Oh, so annoying.
So annoying.
Yep, mine was just one continuous noise.
Oh, just one noise?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It was just an endless klaxon that never stops until you push the button.
Oh, hell no.
Like, you're getting up to that.
Hell no.
Alright, so Carly K, she says, Unknown to me at that time, this was the last time Midnight was seen by any of us, as far as we knew.
My parents just told me, Don't worry, KK, my nickname.
There's always another to replace him.
That's funny.
As sad as that sounds now, I didn't think much of it and assumed he'd return someday.
I'm pretty sure I was right.
Sort of.
As time went on, the thought of midnight sort of disappeared, just like he did into the night.
Some years later, like six maybe, we had picked up and moved into a new house, which was even more isolated, yet suffocated by neighbors in a terrible clustered neighborhood.
But on that very first day of moving in, a flicker of nostalgia caught my eye.
Sitting serenely on the top step leading up to the front door was a black cat, just like Midnight.
Its fur was an inky canvas, oily and illuminated by the famous Florida sunlight, and this cat's bright green eyes pierced directly into mine as if to say, Hello, old friend.
Instinctively, I crouched down to pet it, and the purring sounded so familiar.
Too familiar.
The cat stayed with us as we moved in our belongings, and when there was a chance, I went around asking the neighbors across the street, who were outside doing yard work, and who were watching their new neighbors post up.
But each conversation quickly turned into puzzled looks and dismissive shrugs.
No one had ever seen this cat before, not even old Patty down the street, the eccentric woman.
Who fed squirrels all day long.
What are you doing feeding squirrels?
Don't do that.
Get away from those things.
They will eat your face.
When I asked her, she simply scoffed at me and told me in a inquisitive way, Just a stray?
Her eyes narrowing, dismissing me with disbelief before ignoring me completely as she turned to toss bird seed to the numbering squirrels.
Alright, that's just creepy in itself.
Don't feed squirrels.
Maybe she's paying them tribute so they don't attack her.
Yeah, it's kind of like, pay us the debt or else we're gonna get ya.
So she's just out there like, oh, don't eat me!
They get all ravenous and then they go insane and attack her.
Yeah, they look all cute, man.
They look all cute, but they're not.
Trust me.
This only made me more curious as any 12, 13-year-old girl would become.
The cat came and went as it pleased.
So, I more or less adopted the familiar stranger, which was also a male, and began putting food and little dishes in the backyard for it to eat.
Strangely, the dishes remained untouched day after day, despite making its usual appearances always in the late evening as it began to get dark.
It would come and just sit on the stairwell, inspecting the door like it was a portal to a long-lost home before retreating into the darkness yet again, night after night.
It was on one of these nights that the cat literally opened the door.
I don't know how.
Nobody could figure it out other than my parents possibly forgetting to close the door all the way and locking it, which seemed pretty preposterous considering where we lived.
Yeah, I find it hard to believe anyone in Jacksonville, Florida would just leave their door unlocked.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe Jacksonville, Florida is very safe and people leave their doors open.
I don't know.
We were still awake, watching TV in the living room.
The cat slipped inside, which freaked all of us out, and my parents quickly saw the opened door.
The cat appeared to feel very confident with itself and brushed against me just like Midnight always had.
After receiving some of the best petting I'm sure it ever felt, it just as quickly jumped up and ran off into the darkness of the hallways, which always creeped me out.
Not knowing what the cat was up to, my parents became alarmed because...
Yeah, I probably would do the same.
I'm like, where are you going, dude?
Where are you going?
You just gotta go take a poop somewhere.
Not happening.
Nope. But they couldn't find him anywhere.
They searched every room, of which there were three bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a spare storage room thing.
All on a ground floor.
And he was just gone.
There was no attic, no basement, no secret crawlspace as far as I could ever locate.
I joined in on the search, but was of no help.
On top of that, every window was locked, every door was closed.
He was gone, just disappeared.
When we all met back in the living room, we just stared at each other as it became eerily quiet.
And then my dad said it was probably hiding somewhere we just couldn't find.
I don't know.
Maybe. Days turned into weeks, and we still hadn't seen him again, which was really strange.
Really, really strange, considering he'd shown his face at least once a day.
I would periodically bring him up.
And my dad must have become annoyed because he finally told me that we had all just imagined it.
It never happened.
Let it go.
I couldn't believe it.
We all saw it.
I was petting it.
We all verbally acknowledged it when it somehow got into the house.
So, yeah.
Anyway. Midnight just wanted some lovin' one more time.
He was just yearning for the lovin'.
Just wanted one more pet.
And then he can go.
Exactly, man.
They just want to say goodbye one last time.
Anyway, I soon started seeing fleeting glimpses of a black cat out of the corner of my eye.
What's even crazier is that I also started feeling the brush of an invisible presence on my ankles, just as you'd feel a cat doing.
Just not as obvious.
It was just a gentle touch.
You could tell that something was there, but just barely.
Which made me go crazy and sent shivers down my spine.
Yeah. I wonder if, like, she was looking down and you could see, like, the fabric moving?
That would be nice.
You know what I mean?
Ooh. I'd try to tell him, hey, humans live a really long time.
You can come to me again, you know?
Yeah. Exactly.
Neither my mom or dad ever said anything to me about any experiences they may have had, but neither of them were really believers of anything paranormal.
It's not to say that they were a couple of fond of...
That's not to say that they were a couple of fundamental religious fanatics or anything.
They just didn't believe in ghosts or anything like that.
So, yeah, those fundamental religious fanatics, they can get out of hand sometimes, can't they?
So, I kept feeling his presence, but could never pinpoint it.
It was never there.
Then, randomly, one day, as we drove up and parked after school, there it was, perched on the railing of the stairwell again.
My parents essentially ignored it, other than saying, oh look, there's the ghost cat, KK.
These parents seem like assholes.
Quite honestly, they seem like dicks, dude.
You know what I mean?
I don't know.
We got...
Got a trolling...
Yeah. Healthy trolling.
Yeah, right?
We got out and it seemed to stare directly at me while ignoring my parents altogether just as they ignored it.
What struck me the most at first were the same green eyes which almost looked through me.
There was an intelligence there.
For sure.
My parents walked right by it, dismissing it, leaving the two of us to lock eyes.
Jesus. As I ran up to it all giddy like a schoolgirl, and I kid you not, it evaporated into thin air.
I'm not even kidding.
It was gone before I could reach the stairs.
Gone. I was in shock.
I even let out a scream as I stood there staring at where the cat was only a few seconds ago.
My parents ran to the door to make sure I was okay.
I was.
Just. Silent and wide-eyed.
Oh. My parents ran to the door to make sure I was okay.
I was.
Just. Silent and wide-eyed.
I told my parents what I just witnessed, but as you'd imagine, they didn't believe me.
They brushed my claims off and nicely told me I was lying, that the cat had simply ran off, like it always did.
I couldn't believe it.
The rest of the evening, all I could think about was the cat, obviously.
I came to the conclusion that this wasn't just a cat, it was a ghost cat.
Probably the ghost of midnight.
I mean, come on, how could it not have been?
I never saw it again after that, not even the usual glimpses from the corner of my eye.
No brushes on my ankles, nothing.
Gone. Well, that's my story.
I haven't really experienced anything else like it, like ever.
Anyway, thanks for reading, guys.
I love the show.
If you're ever in Florida, let me know.
I've since moved to Tallahassee.
Lots of weirdness around here.
Interesting. Tallahassee.
Yeah, ghost cats.
At least midnight came back again.
It just wanted to say goodbye and just disappear right before you could touch it.
It's like, yeah, fuck you.
I'm out.
Yeah, see.
Gotcha. I have the trouble of even if I didn't want to believe in this supernatural, the supernatural believes in me and it's a problem.
Yeah, once you're connected, man, it holds on to you and you're like, no, just let me go.
You're like, no, you're a conduit for these things to happen.
Yeah, so one of the tricks is a lot of times when people are dismissing them things, it may not necessarily be that they don't believe it, but that they don't want to consciously acknowledge it.
Exactly. In doing so, they get drawn into that.
Because when you acknowledge it, then you, well, you make it into being a bit more.
Giving it, like, power.
Giving it energy.
Yeah. Loaning some energy to it.
It's like when you, uh...
Like, people who, I guess, are, like, Satanists or whatever, and, like, demons have names, and when they call out those demons, like, names have power.
There's a certain power when you call a person's name, right?
You're sending this, like, energy out into the Ethernet and calling on something or someone, giving it energy, giving it existence.
Does that make sense?
Yeah. So acknowledging it, recognizing that you know it is going to ensure that you're contacted at some point by it.
It's just once they know that you know, you can't just pretend you don't.
So you're just screwed from there.
Yeah. So anyway, thank you Carly K for sending that in.
That was a good one.
Interesting. I have a story about a ghost cat.
So that's actually funny because this was actually in my mom's current house, my parents' current house, my grandparents' old house.
This is the second experience I had there.
It was actually a ghost cat.
I totally forgot about this.
So upstairs, it was like downstairs and then upstairs, and I was just kind of like two rooms up there, and I was in the far room laying in bed at night.
I was trying to sleep, and I was going to sleep.
And at the foot of my bed, I could feel, dude, and we had a cat.
They had a cat at the time.
They had a cat, alright?
It was a heavy fucking big, fat, fat fucking cat.
They still have it.
Really cool cat.
I'm laying there in bed, and I seriously felt something crawl up on the bed, just like you'd feel like a cat crawl up on bed.
Not a dog's, you know, a dog's jump on bed.
They put the front feet up there and literally just jump up really quick.
And they're pretty, like, just erratic about it.
A cat kind of, like, slowly moves its way up, you know what I mean?
Right. So that's what it did, and I could feel it.
I was like, oh, okay, the cat's just gonna, you know, fall asleep on my feet.
And it got up there, and, like, the weight of it, and I can definitely understand what Carly Kay is saying.
Like, it's not, it's there, but it's not there.
And it was definitely not my parents' cat, because this thing, it was, it barely had weight.
It's like moon gravity or something.
And I could just feel it walking in circles, almost like a dog.
You'd see a dog, dude, try to find a comfortable spot to lay down.
It just kept doing that at my feet.
It just kept going in circles.
And I was like, what are you doing?
Stop! Just lay down!
And it wouldn't.
And I was like, what the hell?
And I kicked at it.
And there was nothing there.
I was like, dude, that wasn't even a cat.
Because it didn't.
Nothing jumped off and landed on the floor or anything.
There was no sound.
And so I'm like, oh, what the hell is that, dude?
And so I just continue laying there.
And this was only like maybe two years ago or something.
And again, it does it again.
And so I'm like, okay, I'm just going to pay attention to this.
I'm just going to like, because it's so dark.
I couldn't see it anyway if I tried to look at it.
I just was focusing on its movements.
And again, it did the same thing.
Slowly crawled up onto the bed at my feet.
And then kept going in circles right next to my feet.
Trying to find a place to lay down or something.
And it did it for at least a minute.
And I'm like, okay, that is definitely a ghost cat.
And eventually I was like, okay, you gotta go.
Because you're not gonna chill.
So I was like, get out of here.
And I kicked at it again.
And it didn't come back up again.
And I fell asleep.
Yeah, man.
I told my parents about it, and they're like, yeah, we definitely do have a ghost cat.
They've seen a ghost cat there, so...
Does a ghost cat need a ghost litter box?
Interesting question.
That's a good question.
And I wonder, you know, so if cats can have ghosts, that kind of means that they have a soul, right?
Do animals have souls?
That's a question of the ages.
Well, they sure seem to, seeing as how they get stuck here and all.
Yeah. And people talk about ghost dogs and ghost cats.
What are they, like, ghost kangaroos or ghost camels or something?
Makes you kind of wonder.
Ghost... Ghost horses.
Definitely heard of ghost horses.
Imagine having, like, a ghost pet tiger or something.
That would be terrifying.
Ugh. Who's that?
Who was the guy that got eaten by his...
Those two guys, they were performers?
And the one guy got attacked.
Siegfried and Roy.
Siegfried and...
Yeah, Siegfried and Roy.
It's a...
Which one got eaten?
I can't remember.
I think it was Siegfried.
But he, like, lived through that, and he was like...
He explained it off by saying, yeah, I was having a seizure, and the big cat, whatever cat it was, it...
He literally said that in an interview on TV.
And in reality, it was tired of all the abuse and it finally attacked him and bit him on the fucking neck like cats do to kill a fucking creature.
They bite him on the neck.
Nah, man.
It's a service tiger.
Oh, goodness gracious.
And I don't know if it was Siegfried or Roy.
I can't remember.
But after that attack happened, he continued to live with it.
He didn't get rid of it at all.
He's like, whatever.
It didn't try to kill me.
It was protecting me.
And he just continued living with it.
And then eventually died of natural causes, apparently.
Yeah. I wonder if he would ever see a ghost tiger.
I would imagine so.
All the tigers that died before that one, that he...
Frickin' abused to death.
I was gonna say the vengeful ancestors of the tiger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is for Cuddles!
I'd definitely name my tiger Cuddles.
I had a tarantula named Cuddles.
Yeah. Rosy hair.
See, it only works if it's an ironic name.
Yeah, yeah.
It's gotta be.
Like, yeah, tigers, name it Gentle, or...
Tiny. First love.
Tiny. He just wants to hug you and give your skin a shave.
Yeah. Taste that blood.
Alright, you got any other stories there?
I got one more.
So, you know, I was saying I don't believe in the...
wouldn't believe in the paranormal, but the paranormal believes in me anyways.
This one was a great example of that one.
Let's hear it.
Alright, so I...
I was doing this work at this church way late at night.
This doesn't sound good.
After the witching hour.
Stupid idea, by the way.
Doesn't sound good.
Should I mention that every time I went back to this place, it was never during this time period?
I showed respect for this.
So, anyways, unsurprisingly, this church was haunted.
I mean, you get that many people and attachments and spiritual connections to things that you're just going to draw in the spirit world in general.
But in this case, there was a particularly nasty.
Now, isn't this the church that has that big wooden door from the original church?
Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what this thing was attached to, specifically.
Yeah, it was a commemorative...
Yeah, it was a commemoration to their prior Episcopal church, which was from back in the 1870s or something like that.
And then they took that church, once they decommissioned that one and moved to the new one, and put that door from that church...
Sorry, they took that door and took that door into the new church and placed it in the basement, which...
You know, from a spiritual symbolic point, you know, you put like a stairway leading to nowhere that's considered a stairway to heaven or whatever.
Well, what is a doorway in the basement?
Portal to heaven.
Yeah. Well, like, if you remember, Mary Winchester, I believe was her name, from the Winchester dynasty of rifles, guns.
Yeah. The mansion that they built, That she built.
Because she felt like the spirits were going to chase her and all that.
And so she built this crazy mansion with like a hundred different rooms and stairways and hallways and doorways that went nowhere.
And just to like confuse the ghosts, as she said.
She wanted to confuse them so they couldn't find her.
And in this massive Winchester mansion, she just stayed in, like, one room.
And, like, that was her area, and, like, the rest of the mansion was for all these spirits.
So it's just this giant spirit labyrinth of all of them walking around in a circle.
All right, we're going to haunt this lady.
Just give me a minute.
Yes, dude.
I just need to get to the top of these stairs real quick.
She had spoken with a spiritualist or someone of that day.
You know how big.
Spiritualism was at that time, you know?
Oh, yeah.
We're talking 1800s here.
And so, like, the spiritualist told her, the ghosts are following you.
You have to build rooms to confuse them, whatever.
And since she's Mary Winchester, when the dude died, she was left with, like, just millions of dollars, like, beyond what she could ever spend.
And so she, it was like a lifelong construction project she did, dude.
Continuously worked on this place until she died.
Wow. Labyrinth.
You haven't heard of the Winchester Mansion?
Dude, look it up.
It's crazy.
I mean, we'll cover it.
We'll cover that shit.
That's pretty crazy.
That's pretty freaking cool.
Well, you know, if I wanted to hide from the spirits, it sounds like I know just the place.
So tell us about this church.
So I go there, I see this door.
It creeps me out.
I recognize there's...
Something dark there.
Something unpleasant.
And I catch myself staring at it for a second and being creeped out and then realize, oh, I probably shouldn't be doing that.
I'm acknowledging I feel something.
And then, of course, yeah, stupid me.
You don't have to actually say or do anything.
That was acknowledgement.
It followed me around.
And so, as I'm...
And so I'm trying to block this thing out that I can feel around me.
Like, playing music really loud in my headphones, singing obnoxiously, trying to drown out the terrifying, creepy feeling.
I probably pissed off whenever it was there.
Yes, it did.
I antagonized it.
I was trying to pretend I didn't notice it, but in doing so, I just ended up.
Antagonizing it further and further.
And so, finally, as I'm sitting in the bathroom, there's this little nightlight thing that comes on.
It's plugged in down by the corner.
And as you walk in front of it with the light on, it comes on for a second, you know, because you're blocking the light, so you're making it think the light's out.
And as I'm sitting there in the bathroom, out of nowhere, this light comes on while the door is closed.
And so I get this terrifying feeling and get this lovely impression of some kind of...
I don't know, it's like a floating...
It makes me think like the Wendigo description, but it's like a disembodied creature.
It's like a head of a wolf.
A Wendigo would be pretty creepy.
Yeah, it's like a head of a wolf, like a Wendigo's head, from what I've heard from their descriptions.
But more wolf-like.
And then two floating appendages.
Like, as forearms, and then effectively no lower body.
Like, that's just the creature.
It looks kind of like the imagination, like, the image I got was kind of like the monsters from Genshin Impact, like the floating creatures.
And so, I'm thinking, I'm imagining this, thinking, like, please go away.
Stupidly, I don't do any cleansing ritual or anything.
I don't have the sense to think of it.
It turns out later on that I actually wasn't meant to drive this thing away.
I'll get into that at the end of this.
I'm kind of sore after work.
I catch on my body...
On a part of my arm, like, right here.
This thing grabbed...
By the elbow?
Yeah, this thing apparently grabbed me.
Because I just had a bru...
Like, three, like, finger-shaped bruises.
Like, pinpoint.
Like, this thing, like, snatched me.
And they hurt like hell.
And I...
I was thinking back.
We kept trying to go through scenarios.
Maybe you ran into something and just didn't notice.
And I'm like, no.
Three different parts on the same arm.
I'm like, that didn't happen.
And so...
Anyways, this thing afterwards was like the Wounds of Mordor.
I always compared it to the Wounds of Mordor where a Yowin got hit by the dart with the Dark Curse.
Because it would not go away.
It just stayed there.
Like, I took a picture of it.
Like, I don't have it anymore.
But it's not very remarkable.
It's just three, like, small bruises.
The notable thing is, like, it's kind of like a McDonald's meal.
It never went away.
It just stayed and persisted for, like, two or three weeks afterwards and then finally faded.
And, like, the whole time it was there, it hurt.
It sucked.
What do you think would happen if you brought some sage to the church and did a cleansing?
Oh, I'll get to that.
The church is actually pacified.
Oh, God.
I made peace with the spirits.
They were actually not reaching out to me in hostility.
They recognized that I could help them, and they didn't really understand how to get my attention any other way, so they just grabbed onto me.
What the hell has three fingers?
Some kind of...
Oh, I'll get to that too.
So anyways, the...
So I come onto this show and do my original episode and everything.
And after that, I go back to this thing and find I can actually...
Commune with it now and communicate with it and find out what's happening.
Well, commune is the same thing, just on a psychic level.
And so I go up to this thing and effectively it runs me through its history of how it got to be there.
And so what this creature was is Originally it was like some kind of like I describe it as like a fairy of the fountain some kind of spiritual creature that was connected to the swamp that was originally in this region that people traveling through would have noticed was there like if they're more spiritually inclined and paid fealty to other people would just feel
creeped out and get away from it.
But just in general, it enjoyed a certain amount of respect.
And then somebody built a church on top of its swamp and installed a portal in the basement.
So was it like an elemental?
Yeah, because it wasn't really a living thing, but what it is is all the enmity as As people were getting shuffled around and the settlement was happening back then,
it effectively caused this thing to more or less manifest itself as a more sentient creature of sorts.
So it basically got imbued with the anger of its followers and the ones that paid respects to it.
And used that anger and then used it to reach out and lash out at people.
So I actually communed with this thing.
I effectively told it that everyone who'd done this slaughter and everything is long dead, that nobody in this church at this point is at all involved in it.
And for all I know, it might have even come...
It might not have even been that swamp.
It might have gotten dragged from somewhere else by the original church's door.
I'm just assuming that the swamp that it showed me is the same one.
And that it didn't just get transported here.
But I got the sense that it was already there.
And it just used the door as a meaning of access.
For real, yeah.
So at this point, to my knowledge, that thing doesn't really lash out at people anymore.
But it's still there and people still get kind of a sense of dread from it.
Because, you know, it's still not necessarily a very sociable creature, so to speak.
It's just effectively made its peace and isn't out to get people anymore.
Well, I'll say this.
Churches are just creepy to begin with.
No matter what religious curriculum or whatever it represents, That was that one I was showing you that you turn on the light.
Or rather, what it is is you look through stained glass windows and it just looks like a pattern.
But then you shine a light through them and it looks like an owl looking at you.
That's weird.
It really creeped me out.
What do owls represent?
Like for Freemasons, the Illuminati.
What do owls represent?
Knowledge, wisdom.
Yeah, knowledge, wisdom.
All-seeing eye.
I mean, owls can look in every direction.
Yeah, and they're also equivalent to aliens.
Yeah, there's a connection with aliens, people say.
And I know we have a lot of alien UFO stories, but this is Halloween.
And I don't think aliens really qualify for paranormal.
Nah, I'm sticking with the spirits.
Yeah. Yeah.
And that was the time that I prayed for a daimon and I got it to get over its beef.
That's good, dude.
At least I hope it's over its beef.
I mean, the key is don't go antagonizing it again, please.
I've got it.
I've got it to chill.
Just leave it.
Alright, so I've got a couple stories here.
Which one should I tell first?
So... Okay, this one's, like, hella scary.
This one was crazy, dude.
So I was at a friend's house.
This was many years ago.
I was just a kid.
Little kid.
Right. Just a little tyke.
Just a little tyke.
I mean, we must have been in, like, third grade, fourth grade, maybe.
So we're at his house.
We're upstairs.
This had a really creepy-ass basement, the ground floor, and then the upstairs.
And we were upstairs in his bedroom, which was, I mean, you walk up a first flight of stairs, you basically do a 180 and walk up another flight of stairs, right?
And right at the top of the stairs to the left was his bedroom.
So we were in there.
No one was home, just us.
And I think he might have had a dog.
I don't know where it was, probably outside or something in the back.
But we're just chilling, doing whatever the hell we were doing, playing with fucking toys and shit.
And we suddenly hear footsteps.
Slow footsteps.
And these are stairs where no matter what, no matter what weight you are, you're going to creak these stairs.
Right? You're going to do it, no matter what.
And so I hear it.
I'm like, what the hell?
And I look over.
His door was open.
And I'm like, do you hear that?
And he's like, yeah, what the hell?
And we just hear footsteps coming up the first flight of stairs.
A small pause.
Like it was turning around 180 and then we hear more footsteps creaking up.
So we're like, what?
So I quickly look out the door and there's nothing there.
And the noises stop.
So I'm like, bro.
I'm getting goosebumps thinking about this right now.
And so we're like, what the fuck?
What was that?
What the fuck was that?
And then all of a sudden, in the kitchen, which is like directly below the bedroom, dishes crash.
We freaked the hell out.
We're like, nope.
And so we just run down the stairs and, like, we had to run by the kitchen to get out the door.
And... Oh, God, it was so creepy, dude.
As we're running down the stairs, like, dishes are still crashing.
So we're like, whoa, my God.
We run down the stairs.
I look over to the left to see into the kitchen because it's just a big open space.
There wasn't anything blocking.
There's, like, an open kitchen.
Kind of went kitchen.
Like, to the living room, essentially.
And so I look over, and sure enough, on the floor and on the counter, on the stovetop, dishes were everywhere!
And there were still, like, the pan pot coverings, whatever, the lids, still, like, spinning on the floor.
Like, dude, it was so creepy.
So we run out the door.
It was double doors, so we had to run out two doors.
We ran across the...
Freaking yard.
We turn around and just look at the house, dude.
And it's just creepy.
It's a creepy house to begin with.
Everything about it is just unnerving.
And we both are like, we are not going back inside until his parents get back.
At least his mom.
We were waiting until his mom got back, which is going to be like an hour later.
We literally just stayed there in the yard for an hour waiting for the mom to get there.
And then we go inside and yeah, sure.
There's dishes everywhere.
Dude, nope.
Nope. Creepy.
Creepy, creepy, creepy, creepy.
Now imagine the exact opposite.
Like the spirit of a neat freak starts haunting somebody who's like a severe hoarder.
And they come back home and they're like, and all of my garbage was thrown out.
It's like people always say an object was moved from where they set it down last and it would be moved to a different area.
It's like in the ghost, when it was living, it's like, no, that's not where I put things.
This is where that goes.
It goes over here.
Quit putting it anywhere else.
It goes right here.
Now just imagine that same creepy-ass scenario, but imagine the ghost is like, these are not my dishes!
What the hell are these doing here?
Get this shit out of here!
Just had enough of the roommates.
No. Get your shit and go.
They're like, I had a system and you ruined it.
Dude, it was creepy, bro.
That house was something else.
Anything that can put forth the level of...
Will to move something physical from the ethereal realm is not to be trifled with.
No, bro.
No. And, like, I don't remember much other...
Like, there weren't a lot of other things that I experienced in that house.
Like, I can't really think of anything else other than that one inside.
I know the basement...
Ooh. Talk about, like, you know when you go to turn off a light and you have to run up some stairs in a basement?
Because a light switch was downstairs.
It wasn't at the top of the stairs.
It was at the fucking bottom of the stairs.
Who does that?
Someone who wants to walk down in the dark every time.
And then, like, feel the fear as you turn the light off in the absolute darkness of a basement and walk up the stairs with your back towards just...
No, dude.
Who does that?
Who designs a basement like that?
But I'd have to go down there and grab things.
He and I were always fighting.
Who would go up the stairs first?
Oh, man.
That's how to get ambushed by ghosts, man.
Yeah. For real.
For real.
And I had another experience.
I lived in this school.
In a school.
In this house.
Like, two blocks away from the high school.
And it was kind of a sub-basement, and then the ground floor, and then the upstairs.
And downstairs, again, there's something about basements.
They're always just dark and creepy.
And even my mom thought that this basement was just evil.
Like, she hated going down there.
And it was like a separate living room down there.
One of those types of things, you know what I mean?
Right. And then like a bedroom, which was like a computer room and then some storage area.
But like, anytime we went down there, bro, just really bad vibes.
Really bad vibes.
And so I lived upstairs at the top of the stairs.
To the right was my bedroom.
This is the same bedroom I vomited out of after I beer bonged a 40 and drank another one.
And puke was just all down.
I actually found a picture of this the other day.
I had taken a picture of it.
I found that.
Just the vomit.
The stain it left on the side of the house.
Anyways, I was up in that room.
I was home alone.
I was going to sleep.
I had to go to school in the morning.
High school.
And I had our dog, our black lab, in the room with me.
Or it was, I don't know.
Yeah, I think it was a black lab.
And the door's closed.
And I hear footsteps coming up the stairs.
And again, creaky stairs.
Like, no matter what, creaky stairs.
And so I'm like, no, dude, there's a ghost.
I'm home alone.
Why? But I just ignored it completely and just went to sleep.
And we only lived there for like, I don't know, four months or something.
And then an old friend was like, oh yeah, dude, this old lady died in that house once.
I remember that.
It was in the news.
They found this old lady.
She just died in that bedroom, apparently.
I mean, if she died twice, that'd be really extraordinary.
That would be.
Yeah, so that happened there.
That was a weird experience.
Hey, you know those mystery spots?
Mystery spots?
Yeah, the...
Like, you know, the little gimmicks, mystery spots on the side of the road.
The vortex where the gravity works while wonky and stuff.
It's supposedly an optical illusion, but I think there's more to it than that.
I had one of my friends who's more spiritually inclined than I am try to go to one once.
And she said when she walked in, she got all kinds of dizzy and sick and was just floored.
She couldn't walk inside the threshold of this thing.
And she had her friends help her to the car and went back and she talked to my mentor about it later.
Yeah, I guess when she tried to go in there, effectively all the spirits that are trapped in that vortex that's right there, they all saw her and kind of like that ghost reaching out to me, that daimon or whatever it was, this thing,
Or rather, these things.
She just got absolutely dogpiled.
We're talking like a football team tackling you or the ghost jumping your ass at once.
Now, what do you think the vortexes are, then?
Because I've been to a vortex, and I do feel a weird dizziness when I go to these things.
It's like all your senses are just kind of mixed.
It's kind of weird.
Yeah, there's something there that draws down the ether.
And it seems to get wayward spirits stuck in it.
That's what makes me think.
It kind of pulls them down.
Yeah. It almost sucks them in like a black hole, but holds them there.
It doesn't send them anywhere.
It just keeps them there.
And they're fighting to get out.
I can't get out of here.
Like you're stuck in a spider web.
Yeah, pretty much.
And people try to debunk them with the whole, oh no, it's just an optical illusion.
That's why it looks like it's rolling uphill and such.
And I always think, yeah, but you can't really fake the whole, somebody got physically ill from walking in the door.
No, dude.
Maybe they could fake it, but they actually were paying to go, because generally these things are...
Tourist attractions.
They're not really considered to be sites of interest, but more things you pay to go see.
What are those things that are all over the world and most of these really popular tourist sites?
Pyramids all over the world are on these points.
What are those points called?
Oh, ley lines?
Ley lines, yes.
We've got one up here.
There's one down.
There's tons of them all over the world, obviously.
I wonder if these ley lines, those points are where these vortexes are.
People do try to discount them all the time by being optical illusions.
And I've seen it both ways.
I'm like, yeah, I can see that.
But like you said, it doesn't discount the fact that you feel weird when you go to these things.
The energy is definitely different.
And maybe that is just what happens when your whole body is in an optical illusion and your senses are trying to make sense of it.
And so it makes you feel wonky.
So I don't know what that is.
Sensory cognitive dissonance of sorts.
Yeah, something like that.
If you do one of those illusions that makes it look like you're floating, like you're standing on nothing, it takes you a second to realize you're actually on something solid.
You just can't see it.
Yeah, it freaks me out because I feel like my heart stops all the time.
I'm like, I'm going to die.
But it still beats.
If you stand on a perfectly clear piece of plexiglass or something, yeah.
Yeah, I would never do that.
Very unsettling feeling.
That bridge in China they built out of plexiglass or clear glass, whatever it is, clear glass, and it's a gnarly bridge.
It's like hundreds of feet above the ground.
No. Why?
You know, something did happen.
One of those fell out and that person died.
I called out.
I was like, dude, obviously something is going to happen.
Bad. Something bad is going to happen when you build something like that.
It always does.
Oh, yeah.
You won't find me at one.
I just felt like giving you the ability to look down in every direction was just inviting panic attacks.
So then inevitably, even if you built that thing really sound, somebody's going to put some force into it while they're freaking out.
It's the same because I will force myself to find tall buildings.
I'm talking skyscrapers.
Like Seattle.
And look over the edges and, like, face that.
I don't know.
A lot of people love that shit.
I'm not afraid of heights per se, but it still makes me feel uneasy when I'm close to an edge.
Because there's a term, I forget what it is, where you essentially go over the edge.
Like, you put yourself in a situation like that, like, next to a cliff, and something just compels you to jump over it for some reason.
You don't know why?
There's a term for this.
I forget what it is.
But that's what scares me.
Because what if your brain just decides, I better just jump?
Like, what the fuck?
I mean, how else are you going to learn how to magically fly without jumping and making an emergency out of it, right?
There's this video.
Because as most listeners probably know, I've watched a lot of gore in my life.
I've got to quit watching it because of the damage it does to your soul.
There's this video.
I think it's the Hoover Dam or some dam.
And someone's filming with a potato, obviously.
It's like an old VHS camera.
And they're filming, and there's a bunch of people walking along the edge, and they look down at where the dam hits the bottom of where this big cement wall is.
And then back up, and you see this person in black or something.
They're just walking, and then all of a sudden...
The camera guy catches something falling down the side of the dam.
And if you've ever been to the Hoover Dam, it's massive.
And so, like, the camera guy focuses on this person falling down the dam and perfectly follows him as he falls.
Tumbles and, like, it's weird.
And then all of a sudden it hits the bottom of this, you know, cement block thing and his head explodes.
But it's like, why?
The film are almost new.
That that guy was going to jump.
Almost like they knew what they were going to do.
I don't know.
It's kind of a weird video.
You probably cannot find it.
I think it was on LimeWire a long-ass time ago.
I think a lot of it is you see somebody going that close to the edge, you have to assume they're not going there to just look over at some point.
There's that movie, The Bridge.
Or a documentary about the Golden Gate Bridge.
They literally filmed it in the same spot for one year.
365 days.
24-7.
Just to see how many suicides they would film.
And I forget how many they did.
But it's an eye-opening documentary.
Called The Bridge.
That's so messed up.
Yeah. Yeah, because you watch people jump.
And... Yeah.
Most of the time they die.
Sometimes they don't.
Yeah, that's the trick is it's not really a reliable suicide method.
You're jumping into water, so depending on your velocity, you're going to hit a lot harder than you might anticipate.
But at the same time, if you can swim, you may not actually drown.
And drowning is very unpleasant, so you might decide you don't want to die that way if you can.
Help it.
You think it's unpleasant?
I mean, every manner of death is probably unpleasant if it's prolonged.
What do you think's worse?
Drowning or fire?
Probably. I would say probably fire overall.
Yeah, you'd think so.
Or just simply because...
Being consumed?
Yeah, because a lot of times, even as you're going into shock, it still hurts.
Yeah. And I know they've done studies and said after X amount of seconds...
But you'd have to be fully engulfed in flames for all your nerve endings to be burned away.
You know what I mean?
Because you're going to be feeling pain for a while.
Yeah, there's a certain point where it stops hurting, but you're pretty well dead by that.
Yeah. And most people who die by fire actually asphyxiate because you inhale the fire and it messes up all the cilia in your throat because you have these little hair things in your throat and your lungs.
And called cilia, and those get burned, and then those are what facilitates your breathing, and you can't, it takes the oxygen out of the CO2.
I don't know how it works in biology, but that's something like that.
But you burn the cilia, you're not breathing anymore, and so most people asphyxiate.
Yeah, pretty gruesome way.
I mean, coincidentally, drowning was the other method they used to dispose of witches back then, too.
It was burning and drowning, so you compare the two, they're both pretty freaking awful, I would say.
Because the pilgrims...
You better not float, or else you're a witch.
Yeah, they had that lovely test that kind of just sounded like, I want your house.
Yeah, it's all a land grab.
It's like, well, let's see.
If she can swim, she's a witch.
If she can't swim, well, that sucks.
Oops. Not a witch, I guess.
Not a witch, but something's going to have to happen to that house.
So, anyways, no heirs?
Oh, well, that's a shame.
Ah, those assholes.
They do that all the time.
And I feel like they would probably mostly pick.
People that don't have anyone else that would jump up to claim ownership of the house.
No family, no heirs.
Yeah. Find those people.
They do it all the time.
I mean, they're doing it right now in North Carolina.
They're doing it in Florida, everywhere.
Yeah, it's just instead of calling people witches, now they just let their houses get wrecked and find convenient excuses not to rebuild them.
And say, oh, sorry, your tiles weren't up to HOA standards.
We can't insure you.
Even though you've been paying insurance on this house for 20 years, sorry.
The grossest one I ever found was the one where you can't ever get any settlement for flood damage.
You have to say wind damage and hurricane damage.
Because as soon as you say flood damage, they'll be like, oh, sorry.
Find some kind of loophole to get around it.
That was actually a huge problem in a lot of different cases where literally based on whether you said flood or hurricane, your claim would be denied or not.
Holy fuck.
So you just make a Freudian slip or something and accidentally say flood even though you meant hurricane?
Yeah. Well, because it has to be specified as wind damage because they would get out of it otherwise.
Unreal. I guess because of the nature of how your insurance worked, a lot of times you have to specifically get flood insurance as an additional coverage.
It's so crazy.
Whereas wind damage is a lot of times covered under comprehensive.
So crazy.
At least that's how I understood what they were saying, but I actually remembered that during the last hurricane thing.
I saw somebody post that.
Remember, when you're talking to your insurance company, don't say flood, say wind damage.
Wow. You know what I was thinking last night, yesterday, or two days or something, I was talking to a friend by my friend, I mean myself, I was thinking about...
You remember when Standard Oil, Rockefeller Oil, whatever, there was a monopoly and he had to fucking break it up because there was a huge Supreme Court lawsuit and there was a monopoly on the oil.
If that was such a big deal, how come BlackRock owns like 82% of all habitable or corporate buildings and that's not a monopoly?
And it's on mainstream news all the time.
How come that's not a fucking monopoly?
I mean, it totally is a monopoly.
I mean, how much do they own of market share?
Exactly. It's to the point where they're basically Shinra, for God's sake.
It's fucking bullshit.
How they just blatantly ignore it.
Yeah, it comes down to the fact that when you're that big, there's that point where you get big and you get broken up, and then there's that point where you're big to the point where all the people who would normally break you up can't.
And that's where they're at.
Fucking Larry Fink.
Alright, let's get back to ghosts.
I have two stories left here.
Personal stories that I wanted to get off my chest.
So when I used to work at this mental health clinic, I would work basically graveyard shift.
I would deliver medications and stuff to our clients throughout the towns, and then I would go back to the office.
Alone, after hours, lock the doors, get on the computer, and do all the awesome note-taking for the clients.
So, one night, I was there alone, in the office.
And so, like, outside of the office, at this...
I mean, there were, like, multiple offices.
I could just choose whichever one I wanted to go in.
So the one I was in was basically towards the entrance and outside the office on the wall was this cork board and, you know, all the usual papers tacked up to the cork board and stuff.
I'm like, what the fuck?
And I hear the papers fall to the ground.
I'm like, what the fuck, dude?
So I go out there, and there are papers on the ground, tacks laying on the ground.
So I'm like, okay, what the hell?
I look up, and there is a vent above it.
And I'm like, maybe the vent.
Turned on and blew the papers off.
And even if that's the case, that would be impossible.
Why would the papers be right there if that vent would consistently blow the papers off?
You know what I mean?
Yeah. Why put it there?
Yeah, it wouldn't make sense to leave them up there in the first place.
It would have fallen before that.
But in my mind, I just was like, I brush it off.
Okay, that was just the vent that blew the papers off.
And I don't remember hearing the vent go off.
Anyway, so I put the papers back up.
Tacking back up.
Go back in the office, typing away.
And maybe 20 minutes later, the same fucking thing happens.
So I'm like, no, alright, this is bullshit.
This is definitely something here.
And so I just put the papers on this table and just left them there.
And I think either I went to another office to finish the notes and clock out, or I might have just ran out of the building.
I'm not sure.
One or the other.
But there was another night when I probably just clocked out and left because I wasn't handling it.
This is a big building.
And, uh, so another night, same situation, I'm in a different, actually, same office, typing away, doing the notes, and I hear, uh, you know those big metal exit doors, usually on an exit, there's that metal bar across the door that does actually push it as a handle, and it opens?
Yeah, the thing that...
You know those doors?
Yeah, the thing that you, uh, that you lock up at the end of the night, which is called dogging it?
I don't know, is it?
Dogging it?
Yeah. It's a dog and undog.
Okay. You use a little Allen wrench thing to open them up.
Oh. Well, I don't know, but you know what I'm talking about.
Hopefully the listeners know.
It's just those big metal doors with a metal bar in the middle, and you push that bar and it opens.
But there's like a little grace area in that bar where it makes a metal sound.
You don't open it up all the way.
There's just a little bit of a give space, and you can shake it a little bit.
So, anyway, I'm in the office on the other side of the building, and in the back area of the building was where this, like, children's area was, which is awesome, and it was always dark in there, and the light switch, just like that basement, the light switch was, like, in the room, so you had to go into the darkness a little bit,
and then turn the light on where this children's play area is.
Fucking creepy.
So, I hear this, like, weird shuffle sound, this, like, Metal on metal.
So I'm like, what the fuck is that?
I start walking around the building, turning on all of the lights, and I get to...
I hear it, and it's down the hallway toward where the children's play area is.
So I'm like, oh my god, no.
And I go back there, because I have to, part of my job, to make sure this place is locked up at the end of the night.
So I had to walk around all of the doors to lock them.
And there are like ten of them.
So... This was one of them, and so I walk back there, and sure enough, that thing is shaking, dude, with the big exit sign above it, so it's like that red light is kind of emanating in that little area, and it's just shaking, dude.
The door is shaking.
That little metal bar is shaking itself.
I said, fuck that.
I left the building, dude.
I locked the front doors, and I bounced out.
Next day, I go to my boss, one of my many bosses, and I'm like, I told them what happened.
And they're like, oh yeah, keep that quiet.
Don't tell the clients.
Please don't tell the clients that they're a ghost here.
But yeah, we know.
We've all experienced it one time or another.
So I'm like, okay, I'm not crazy.
And they also have experience shit.
And this is a mental health clinic.
So yeah, you don't want to tell clients.
They have schizophrenia, bipolar, all sorts of just crazy things going on.
Oh man, that would freak them out so bad.
Yeah, imagine.
Imagine. If I was to go tell my clients, yeah, this place is haunted and it's been horrible.
So, yeah.
Every paranoid delusion ever justified.
I am Napoleon.
So I never told the clients.
I never did.
But fuck that, bro.
I told them I don't want to do the shift anymore.
You got to take me off that shift.
So they did.
I started working a day shift and didn't experience anything else after that.
But yeah, that was scary.
Let me tell you.
Dude, like, anytime something's shaking or whatnot, I just don't even want to go near it anymore.
I'm just like, nope.
Not only am I not going to acknowledge it, I'm going to print a tent and I didn't even freaking hear it.
It goes out of the way.
Here's the thing, man, because on those doors, outside of those doors is just a regular thumb handle.
You know what I mean?
It's a handle with a thumb switch thing and you pull it.
But inside is that metal bar that kind of shakes.
So from the outside, you can't make that happen.
That would be impossible.
That has to be from the inside, pushing on that little bar.
No, you can't do it.
And making it shake.
Yeah, because the metal bar itself has nothing to do with opening the door from the outside.
There's no way to do that.
It's just an easy way to unlock an exit door, like just right there.
Bro, so that was inside, and that was a children's play area.
So I'm like, I think there are like ghost children in that place or something that like to mess with people.
I don't know.
I mean, for all you know, maybe they go there because the kids are more likely to see them.
Mm-hmm.
That could be it too.
They kind of just linger in there so they can actually play with living people, living children.
But yeah, I left that job.
Not long after that, I just did like a year, I don't know what you call it, term something, I don't know.
Apparently they already had someone caretaking, so they took over promptly as you left.
Yeah, so actually dude, it's funny because after that happened, the next night, because I had work...
I had to go again.
And so like the next night when I went there, the first thing I did when I got into the building, I said, okay, listen, please, spirits, whatever's in here, please just let me do my job and don't mess with me.
Don't mess with me, please.
Just let me do my job.
And then nothing happened.
Yeah, I did that.
So you just kind of have to tell them.
Yeah, I did that at the church the next time, actually.
I explained what I was there for and that I was going to leave.
Yeah. I'm not there to try to exercise them or any such nonsense, so please stay away.
I kind of want to go back to that mental health clinic building and just kind of...
I don't know, do I?
Do I want to like...
Like, hello!
I'm back.
I don't know if I want to do that.
I don't want to get any attachments, you know what I mean?
Yeah, that's the real question.
Can you go visit them, or do they come home with you?
I better say this now.
Nobody knows this.
So this is kind of weird.
So I live in this apartment with a couple roommates.
And the room I'm in, nobody told me this until, I don't know, a year after I was living here.
One of the roommates was like, oh yeah, do you know a guy died in that room?
I was like, are you kidding me?
He's like, yeah, our other roommate actually found him.
He was a huge alcoholic.
He drank himself to death.
In my bedroom.
And, uh...
The landlord never told me.
Which I think they're supposed to.
I think they're supposed to tell you if there's a death somewhere.
Anyway. Yeah, I'm not really sure.
Like, if it's not a murder, I wonder.
Right. Like, somebody just died.
Natural causes.
Some random incident or poisoned themselves or something.
Yeah, who knows.
I don't know.
But then I went and talked to my other roommate.
I was like, dude, you fucking found a dead guy in my bedroom?
He was like, oh, yeah.
Yeah, that was weird.
It was kind of weird.
Yeah. Holy shit.
I feel like that story should have come up a little sooner.
Nothing really crazy has happened, except I see maybe something in the corner.
I can't say a shadow figure, but like a ball of black, like a little black ball or something.
Kind of see that in the corner of my eye every once in a while.
But the weirdest thing happened.
This was just like maybe last month.
I was just chilling.
I think I was like researching, doing some stuff for a show.
And in the corner of my eye, up high, kind of near the ceiling, was like sparkle white light, like a star.
And I was like, what the fuck?
I look up and nothing was there.
And then like I kept doing my shit and it happened again.
I was like, what the fuck?
I look up and it was gone.
But I don't know.
What do you think that is?
Just a little white light, like a star.
And then like a black ball.
I don't know what that is.
It could...
It sounds like...
Well, in that case, it sounds like something that you probably perceive on some level, but likely don't visually see it, but your eyes place it there, where your mind's placing it.
Like something is taking a figure place?
Yeah, kind of like I'm talking about something impresses itself in your mind.
That's happened to me.
But then when you go to actually focus and look at it specifically, it disappears because it's not there per se.
No, and so that's the thing.
You hear these people who want to pursue witchcraft and the dark arts and they get into it so deeply and it seems like it never turns out.
In a good, beneficial way.
It seems like it eats at their soul and they become like a shell of who they were.
Well, yeah, you do gotta be...
You know?
Well, you do gotta be careful with it.
There's a real...
There's all kinds of dangers to that sort of thing.
Kind of like the cyclic experience.
There are things out there that could permanently destroy your mind.
And you don't want to come into contact with those.
100%. I mean, you're making a deal.
It's a trade-off.
You trade a lot of negative and detrimental effects for, well, at least perceived power and...
Control over reality and a lot of times it's more over dominance because generally the stuff that you can do in terms of just shaping your own reality are not actually infractions of spiritual law.
Those are things that you can do to help yourself.
It's more so when you go into trying to influence others' destinies and try to influence them.
Compel them and manipulate them.
That's where you're more talking the trading off for negative power for bad effects.
And you're going to pay for those kind of things in the end, even if you think you can trade it.
Yeah. It ate the goat.
The goat is not going to be held responsible.
Do not pretend the goat is now at fault.
The whole scapegoat concept was always just so silly to me.
I'm like, I'm going to blame this other thing and then I'm going to beat its ass and tell it it sucks.
And I'm like, so you're going to commit another sin on something else.
Yeah, dude.
And it's its fault that you're bad.
I know, I'm like, it's your fault that I'm bad.
I'm going to hurt you until I'm a good person.
You gotta be careful with the dark arts.
Yeah, because you don't...
Again, like I was saying, you don't shed those things.
That stuff stays with you.
You're gonna pay that price.
And if you read all that literature, and I've read quite a bit of it, they warn you constantly.
If you don't know what you're doing, don't do it.
You know?
You gotta know what you're doing.
You gotta know exactly what you're saying.
Otherwise, you'd say one wrong syllable and it completely...
It does a whole other thing than what you intended.
There's a very major reason why you're supposed to go into these things with a guide.
Because you need someone as an intermediary to keep you from doing dumb shit like letting yourself get possessed by a dog demon.
Or by a demon that was possessed by a dog.
Or a dog that was possessed by a demon.
Son of Sam Berkowitz.
That was his excuse for killing those nine people or whatever.
It was his demon dog.
Telling him to go do it.
Wow, man.
Why'd that dog have to be such a bastard?
Yeah, he said the dog would just be barking in the backyard and he's like, but it was telling me to go do this.
And that whole thing, the Son of Sam murders, there's a lot of speculation that that was actually a group.
Like, a group of people who were doing black art type of shit, and those are sacrifices, essentially.
There's a lot of stuff on that.
Well, I mean, how did the guy get the impression that his dog was telling him to kill people?
That sounds like some kind of telepathic manipulation to me.
Right. Yes.
There's a lot of talk.
There were some government agents kind of part of it.
Pretty sure that ain't the dog telling you that, which means that if you're hearing something, that means somebody's telling you that.
And now the question is, who?
Oh, like one of those direct...
Because they can project messages at people to get them to do things, man.
Do weapons, direct energy weapons.
Messaging weapons, they were using that in the 60s and 70s.
CIA. They were perfecting that stuff with all these psychics.
Oh, boy.
So, alright.
I know we're running out of time here.
I have this one last story that is like the last ghost story that's ever happened to me that is of significance.
I saved it for the last because it's the most significant that's ever happened to me.
I was at this park which happens to be the oldest park in this town and there are these train tracks above it.
I was with a friend and we were it was probably midnight 1am maybe.
And we were up.
We walked up to those train tracks.
And there was this big area.
Like, it's still there.
It's a big, like, cement structure of some old structure that was there.
It's just the remnants of it.
It was, like, partially destroyed.
People spray paint on it and, like, hang out up there.
And people used to go up there and drink and, you know, smoke weed and do drugs.
And anyway, so my buddy and I went up there.
And we went up behind this structure.
And so you're, like, above the train tracks, maybe six feet above it.
And you can look down and see it's right there.
It was dark, but it was light enough where you could kind of, like, in the distance, because it's a park, so there are, like, street lamps kind of in the distance.
And it kind of gives enough light where you can see the train tracks.
And we're standing there.
And this white cat comes up.
Out of nowhere, this white cat just runs up to us.
And it's just the happiest, most loving cat.
And it's rubbing up on our legs and we're petting it.
And it kept running off and then running back to us.
And then running off and then running back to us.
Well, running back to me.
Because I was the only one paying attention to it.
My buddy was just doing his own thing.
So I'm like, dude, I think the cat wants us to follow it.
We started walking and it started walking ahead of us leading the way and it walked down the hill over the train tracks into these bushes.
So I'm like, whoa, there's got to be something in those bushes.
So I'm like leaning into it.
My buddy's holding on to my shirt so I don't fall.
And the cat suddenly like, does that.
And my buddy freaks out, drops me into the bushes.
So I fall face down kind of into these bushes on a hillside.
So that was really cool.
He runs away.
I finally get out of the bushes and I'm like, what the fuck?
And I run back up to him back.
Where we were on top of this little hill.
And why the fuck did you drop me?
He's like, dude, that cat screamed.
I thought I saw something.
I jetted.
I'm sorry.
And so we're chilling there.
Kind of like gaining our senses.
And the cat is just doing its thing, dude.
And like we see this figure as we're talking.
We see this figure on the train tracks.
It kind of goes.
It walks below us from our right to our left.
And kind of just disappears.
And we're just like, I don't know.
The guy walking his cat?
There's a guy walking his cat?
And I'm like, that doesn't make any sense.
So I run down the hill and look to the left down the tracks to see if I could see the figure.
Nothing there.
Nothing. So I walk back up to him like, dude, there's nothing there.
Like, if that was a person, he would have had to run down the hill through all those thick-ass bushes.
We would have heard it.
We heard no bushes being rustled.
So we're chilling there, trying to make sense of what we just saw.
And like two minutes later or something, the same figure...
Walks, again, same spot from our right to our left, and we both watch it.
And it's not walking.
It's literally floating above the train tracks in a very slow manner, like it was walking, like it's going pretty slow.
But it's just floating.
And it was a robed figure.
You could definitely see it was a robed, black robed figure.
And it had this weird, like, convalescing white, bluish light.
Almost like you would look up at a star and see how it shimmers.
It kind of looked like that.
Right at its chest.
Right where its chest would be.
And it was just like turning blue and white and doing this weird shimmery thing.
And it just glided in front of us down on the train tracks and went right to left.
And again, I ran down the hill really quick and looked left.
Gone. Nothing there.
I'm like, dude, you saw that, right?
And he's like, I saw that.
I definitely saw that.
And I'm like, we're not losing our minds.
We saw the same thing.
He's like, bro, I saw that.
You saw that.
I saw that.
So we're like, okay, this is really fucking weird.
Let's just get out of here.
And then we kind of like walked around this area and then like walked down this little trail where it's like an old silo for grain or something.
And there are a bunch of streetlights right there.
So we felt safe.
And so we walked right there.
We stood there and we looked down the train tracks where we were and it says dark, right?
And I'm like, Dude, we need to walk down these train tracks toward where we were.
So, he's like, no.
I'm not doing that.
I'm not walking down there.
And I'm like, I need to see this thing again.
Like, if we saw that, I want to see it one last time.
Like, if it's here, it's here.
I want to see it one more time.
And he's like, well, you can walk down there.
I am not going.
I'll stay right here.
And so I started walking down and...
He's like, alright, hold on.
So he runs up to me, because he didn't want to stay there alone.
And we both start walking.
And we get to this point where the train tracks, because there are multiple train tracks, but they all converge into one.
And we get to that point, and there's a sign there that says, do not trespass beyond here.
He's like, this is as far as I'm going.
And I'm like, oh man, but we've got to keep going.
And so I take a few more steps, and then...
We look up in the distance, and on the right side of the train tracks, there are these bushes, weeds, whatever the hell they are, maybe like five feet high.
And from that, this little ball of light, whitish blue light, like an orb, comes out of those bushes and is moving erratically, almost like it's, I want to say dancing, for lack of better words,
and it's just kind of moving around, almost like it's trying to locate something.
Going from spot to spot, trying to locate something.
I don't know.
And it goes across the train tracks, and it gets across the train tracks, and then it almost spots us.
It gets into the middle of the train tracks and starts coming toward us.
So we're like, whoa, dude!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
And it's coming toward us.
This is maybe 50 yards away, and it starts coming toward us.
So I'm like...
I could only handle so much, and I got this overwhelming feeling of just get out now, run away.
So I turn around, and I'm in flip-flops, by the way, and I'm on train tracks, so there's those wooden planks every, whatever, foot and a half, whatever.
So I'm just running on flip-flops.
I've never ran so fast, bro.
Like, I ran back to where we were in the light, and I look back, and my friends are standing there, and I see that blue light heading toward him still, and I'm like, I don't want to say his name.
So I yell for him, like, get!
Out of there!
And he finally turns and runs towards me, and the light kind of just, like, went away.
It kind of disappeared.
And we were both just like, whoa, dude.
We didn't know what to say.
We were almost speechless.
And I don't know, dude.
We eventually ran around, went through that park, and went back to my car, and just got out of there.
And, um...
Yeah, that is the most significant thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't know what that was.
Damn, I guess...
I mean, I guess you were lucky it was like, you know, a ball of light the second time instead of the bloodborne monster you were describing the first time.
If it was a...
Yeah, if that robed figure came back out and was like coming after us, I'd be like, yeah, it's like death.
It's like gonna come and just touch us and take us away.
I don't know, but it was just a ball of light.
Thing is, I didn't feel...
Like, it was malevolent or anything sinister about it.
It was just very scary because it's not a regular occurrence.
You know?
Maybe what it was was when you saw it, it hadn't detected you yet.
But when it came back as the ball of light, it had known you were there.
Because... It sounds like you saw its actual form and then you saw what it wanted to present itself as.
Yeah. It was so...
Weird to see a robed figure floating, floating above the train tracks.
I will never forget this.
Black robed figure just floating with this little star of a ball of light in its chest.
I mean, the other option is it's two completely separate paranormal circumstances happening at the same time, which...
I think it's the same, because it was the same ball of light.
Yeah, it makes me think it's probably the same.
But the second time around, it knew you were looking.
And I wonder, I always wonder, if I would have just stayed there and met it, what would have happened?
What the fuck would have happened?
I don't know.
I would have tried to possibly communicate.
Communicate what?
Try to make contact.
Do the...
Do a gesture that demonstrates that you have sentient intelligence.
So I went back the next day in the light, and I was like, maybe there's a dead body, because that white cat was trying to lead us somewhere.
It seemed like it.
And I went back to where that was.
I looked everywhere.
I didn't smell anything.
I didn't see anything, except for there's this big grate in the ground right there.
It's covering up some sort of tunnel system that has been just someone put a grate over it and then filled the area with a bunch of rocks, like big rocks, so you can't get in.
So there's definitely something there.
And like my mom was saying earlier, how there's so many Chinese in the area that were building the railroads, so many deaths, and obviously underneath all these towns are tunnel systems.
And I can only imagine it was someone that died right there.
Because, dude, that whole area is like a swamp, too.
That big pond is right there that people can ice skate on in the winters.
I was about to say that area is a hotbed of supernatural activity.
It's probably the reason half the town is like that.
Scary stuff, man.
Scary stuff.
And then after that, I had gone to this psychic shop.
I don't know what you call that.
One of those places you get magical stuff.
Right. I don't know what it was.
Anyway, so there are two women that work there, supposedly psychics, whatever.
I go in there, I'm like, can I talk to you guys?
They're like, sure.
And I told them about this experience.
And they're like, oh, you know what?
We have heard many stories about that same sort of thing happening in that same spot.
We think that there is a lot of loss of life in that area.
And so they were telling me, like, they, you know, they kind of verified.
What I saw, essentially.
For what it's worth.
Lost souls wandering about.
So yeah, I wonder how you would connect to something like that.
I guess you'd be able to connect through them mentally.
You could talk to them also.
I don't know if they'd be able to hear necessarily.
But they'd be able to pick up things you're thinking, I would imagine.
Yeah, what if they see us?
What if they see us like we see them?
Yeah, if on their end they're all just people walking around and we're just like shining balls of light and they're all confused by it.
They're trying to come over and look at your friend like, what's the deal with this weird floating ball here?
Yeah, they finally got to the point.
Their curiosity was just like, I gotta look at this.
Just like my curiosity was like, I gotta look at this.
Just imagine him on the other end.
I gotta go.
I gotta go check this out.
And like the guy in the robes holding him back like, no.
Don't do it, man.
No, you don't want to go out there.
And the ball's like, yep.
No, I gotta check it out.
Yeah, and it's just my friend and I that are just standing there like, what is that?
What is that orb?
I gotta see it.
Yeah, dude.
I often wonder.
If, like, the other side sees us like we see them, you know?
Right. Well, you know, it's like a holographic universe, and it's all just layered over the top of it.
Right. So if you think about it, you could have, like, a whole shadow universe all occurring around you, even in the same space as you, and you would never know.
Well, I, uh...
I, uh...
Well, that's going to be the show, everyone.
Spooky Halloween special.
Don't get grabbed by ghosts.
It sucks.
There it is.
Don't play with the dark arts.
Don't play with the wee-ha board.
The wee-ha board.
Yeah, you gotta be careful out there, dude.
It's a crazy spiritual world.
More than we see.
The Oija board.
The Oija?
The Oija?
The Weeha?
The Oija.
However you want to pronounce it.
However you want to pronounce it.
But thanks.
Thanks for listening, guys.
Thanks for all your listening support.
And I hope your little ear holes...
are keeping it real on this Halloween day 2024.
Ooh. Ooh.
Ooh.
Yeah. All Hallows Eve.
Lots of demons out there, guys.
Lots of sexy cops, which is weird.
A lot of sexy paramedics.
A lot of sexy witches.
And most of them are guys.
So... Did I say that?
Enjoy. Enjoy.
Enjoy the sweets.
For real, though.
Brush your teeth afterward because that sugar's not good for you.
Which you should just stay away from candy anyway, but this is so good.
So delicious.
You know what I miss, man?
Just getting the frickin' pillowcase and going around and filling it with candy.
Can't do that as an adult.
It's just not fun.
What you gotta do is find the, as Bob's Burgers called it, the full bars neighborhood.
The fancy area where everybody gives full bars of candy.
And then you just go down that block.
That's the way.
Usually is.
Usually is.
I'm not celebrating.
I'm not dressing up.
My girlfriend wants me to dress up so bad.
I'm just like, no.
She's going as a...
I forget what it is.
I don't even know.
It's off some show, some cartoon, and I don't watch much TV at all, so I don't know what the hell she's talking about, honestly.
Did you know that the voice actor of Bob's Burgers, he was arrested for the January 6th bullshit.
He has to do a year in prison?
Yeah, Jimmy Pesto.
That's why Jimmy Pesto has got some wonky new voice and really doesn't appear in the show anymore.
That's so weird.
Let's fuck that, man.
I actually know as I think about it, I think they wrote him out of the show entirely.
They didn't even try to replace his voice.
I'm not sure.
From whatever I read, they said it was flawless.
The transition, nobody even noticed, is what I read.
I don't watch the show.
I watched maybe one episode back in the day.
But yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, I'm curious how many episodes they did with Jimmy Pesto's under the new voice before they were just like, ah, let's just not use it.
Right. But fuck that, dude.
January 6th, just a CIA setup.
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
None of those motherfuckers should be arrested.
Those cops should be arrested.
Well, you know how it is.
Anyway, we're getting political.
Participate and then cycle.
Yeah, I was gonna say, participate and then psyops is bad.
Yeah. Bad for your health and your freedom, you know?
Yeah. Speaking of freedom, we love our freedom, so ladies and gentlemen, be free out there.
You gotta be safe from those spirits, because they're looking for you.
They are looking for you.
Those evil spirits are looking for you, so you gotta dress up to keep them away and scare them away.
See, just like the other side.
We see them like they see us, and they see us like we see them.
So you gotta dress up like them and scare them away, because they're gonna get you.
They'll crawl up your pee hole, and you don't want that.
They'll never know that you're not actually a Ninja Turtle.
Yeah. Donatello.
Michelangelo. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, stay safe out there.
Take care of yourselves, take care of one another.
And gotta watch out for the poison candy.
A lot of razor blades and candy apples and all sorts of things.
