CONTACT US Email: paranaughtica@gmail.com Twitter: @paranaughtica Facebook: The Paranaughtica PodcastOn the evening of April 18th, 2020, a Canadian man, 51-year-old Gabriel Wortman, would begin a 13-hour assault on the people of Nova Scotia, killing 22 and injuring three others, and would end up being Canada’s worst mass murder to this day. Gabriel is believed to have acted alone in his attack, traveling from location to location in a replica police-cruiser and was more-or-less dressed as an officer, or at least looked similar enough to give the impression as much to unsuspecting victims. He was armed with two pistols and two rifles, killing anyone that came within his path. He would also set fire to a large number of houses and vehicles throughout the 13-hour rampage. Please tune in and hear the whole thing!Please don't forget to Subscribe, Like, and Share!!!! If you’d like to help us out with a donation and you’re currently listening on Spotify, you can simply scroll down on our page and you’ll see a button to help us out. You can also go to our Facebook page where we have a link to our Ko-Fi account and Pay-Pal account if you'd like to help out the show. We would greatly appreciate it and give you a massive shoutout on the show if you'd like! Sources:1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2020_Nova_Scotia_attacks#cite_note-Telegraph01-109 2. https://www.saltwire.com/atlantic-canada/news/ns-mass-killer-was-poisoned-from-the-beginning-says-his-biological-brother-100725065/ 3. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-62102201 4. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/nova-scotia-rcmp-news-conference-update-investigation-mass-shooting-gunman-22-victims-1.5547738 5. https://www.halifaxexaminer.ca/uncategorized/cst-heidi-stevenson-wanted-the-public-to-be-warned-about-the-killer-driving-a-fake-police-car-rcmp-higher-ups-said-no/ 6. https://macleans.ca/news/canada/the-nova-scotia-killer-had-ties-to-criminals-and-withdrew-a-huge-sum-of-cash-before-the-shooting/ 7. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8444549/Nova-Scotia-shooter-RCMP-agent-withdrew-475-000-cash-Brinks-office.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Yes, hello, I can see you again over the computer screen.
How are you, buddy?
Join us, join us.
Everybody's here.
Hi, guys.
Join the table with the adults.
Oh, this is what it's like up here.
Don't embarrass me.
Alright, you've embarrassed yourself.
Get out of here.
Oh, it's gorgeous.
Yeah, great place to build some sandcastles, you know.
Fly some kites, look for shells and glass, maybe take a surf lesson or two.
Play in the waves?
Close to the shore, though.
Oh, yeah.
You know, you don't want to be swept out to sea.
That's no joke.
Ooh, man.
Strong. Maybe you just want to walk along the beach barefoot, like, hand in hand.
You know, with Jesus.
I looked down, and I saw, there in the sand, still just one set of footprints.
There's usually just one.
But, did you know that the Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia?
No, I didn't know that.
That's pretty cool.
I'm personally not a huge fan of that show, but I was not aware Canada had trailer parks.
Yeah, I thought that was strictly a US thing.
But man, I must say, lobsters must fuck a lot.
Oh yeah?
Probably don't enjoy it.
Oh, why's that?
Actually, I don't know if lobsters, you know, enjoy that kind of thing.
But I do know that over 50,000 tons...
Holy shit.
You know, I always thought that lobsters were just leaving their home due to peer pressure.
Oh, no.
That is terrible.
Did you know that lobsters make terrible friends because they are way too shellfish?
Dude, that's awful.
Oh, wait, wait, I got one for you.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
That's right, buddy.
Did you know that lobsters actually cry?
Wait, what?
Yeah, because they're always told that they are lost claws.
Oh, womp, womp, womp.
Alright, one more, one more.
Oh my god, okay.
Alright, last one.
There was a lobster who was one of those snitch types, you know?
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Ugh.
Oh, man.
Come on, man.
I can feel myself getting stupider, dude.
These are classic jokes, man.
These are family fun jokes.
Yeah, I'll give you that.
This is a family show.
Oh, okay.
No, it's not.
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
This is not rated G. Hey, we had zero to eight age range listeners.
Zero. That's right, in utero.
In utero, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Man, they're going to be really interesting people when they're born.
I think for the better, they're going to have knowledge.
They'll be smart.
Yeah, oh, totally.
Street smart.
They'll definitely know for sure the types to look out for.
Like, oh man, I heard about you.
I heard about you.
Yeah, not getting me.
You're that lady.
Snatching people.
Quit it.
Quit it.
You know what?
You know what?
Hey, let's do a couple shout-outs.
We haven't done any in a while.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
And, you know, speaking of shout-outs, I'm going to give a little shout-out to COVID, if anybody remembers.
You guys remember COVID.
But, yes, I am getting over a little bit of a sickness, so that's why I sound so different.
Than I normally do.
It has added a little bit of a richness.
It's added some richness, I think.
Yeah, that's true.
To my voice.
Can we keep this?
Let's keep this, Scott.
I'll try to keep reinfecting myself so I can, you know.
But we are distanced, though.
We are taking distance from each other.
We're six feet apart instead of the normal six inches that we usually are.
Six inches.
And old Wayne Dale just went out and got one of those plastic windshield things.
And just put it up between us.
Yeah, so I can't infect Coop.
So nobody worry about Coop.
Okay, he's fine.
No, I'm good.
I'm not going to infect him, but we are a little further apart than we typically are.
And Wayndale's ready with the old sanitizer.
He sprays us down.
He just sprays us with aerosol.
Yeah. Pine saw shit.
Yeah, we have to strip down naked, and then we get powdered up, and then just...
And it takes about 45 minutes.
It's horrible.
There's only one spray bottle.
And it runs out.
And it has to keep refilling it.
But needless to say, everybody's safe here.
Plenty of distance.
So, yeah.
Anyways, on to these shout-outs, huh?
Yeah. So, Scott, as you know, I have been doing some physical therapy for a couple months now.
For my back.
Yeah, back's all fucked up.
Hurts worse than a burn from your little sister in front of all your friends.
Oh! That's painful stuff.
But I do want to give a shout-out to our listeners, Daniel and Carly at...
But I want to give them a shout-out because, yeah, they're good peeps and they know their shit.
I'd like to give a shout-out to a little business down in P-Town, for those of you who are hip and know where that is.
22 Below, a little rolled ice cream shop.
That place is bomb.
Love me some rolled ice cream.
I asked for a campfire roll.
They took a marshmallow, lit it on fire with a torch, took some graham cracker and some chocolate, chopped it all up, worked it down into a paste with this ice cream, and then rolled it.
Oh, meh!
Wow! Let me tell you.
Campfire roll, huh?
Yeah, that was bomb.
I want to try all their other flavors now, but yeah, shout out to 22 Below.
22 Below.
Alright, cool, dude.
I'll go check that out.
I'll make a rundown there.
Yep, yep.
And you know, we really need to give a particular shout out to a listener named Bebe.
Bebe! Who really loves the show.
Yeah, Bebe!
Bebe Baby!
We love you, Bebe.
Bebe Baby.
Bebe Baby.
I like it.
We're going to make a little Bebe Babies.
Not, not, not.
Like little toys.
Little toys.
Little toys.
Little BB baby toys.
Step away from the table, man.
I'm going back down below where I usually am.
Yeah. But yeah, BB, shout out to BB who really loves the show and requested that we provide transcripts with the show.
And I don't really know how to do that, but we'll look into that.
But sorry that we can be a little tough to follow, but glad you're following us nonetheless.
That is so awesome.
You're following us this far?
We're going to try to figure out...
How to get those transcripts.
I mean, I don't know how to do it, but we'll figure something out, I think.
Yeah, I mean, there are a lot.
So thanks, BB, for reaching out and suggesting that.
It was a great suggestion.
Yeah, really good one, yeah.
Anyway, did you ever hear about Jerome?
Jerome. Uh, no.
Who the hell is that?
Jerome, bro.
Well, this is a crazy story.
So Jerome was the name given to some random unidentified guy that was found on the beach.
Of Sandy Cove in Nova Scotia back in 1863.
Was he alive?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, he was alive, but both of his legs were cut off.
It appeared that the wounds were, you know, like pretty fresh at the time.
Really? Yeah, the amputations also looked like they were done professionally, though, so it didn't look like some crazy accident.
They were even still bandaged when he was found, actually.
Wow, man.
Crazy. Yeah, man.
Some young boy, could you imagine?
Some young boy found him, and his family pretty much took care of him.
He was fairly old at the time, and he couldn't really talk, and it was just assumed that the man didn't speak English or French, but he hated attention, and he didn't like being hassled and all the curious onlookers were trying to come get a peek or whatever,
and yeah, he was not about it.
I can't blame him.
Yeah, so later, he began staying with this guy, spoke a lot of languages, and he tried to get Jerome to talk, but it just wasn't working.
Either the guy didn't want to talk or he suffered some sort of brain injury like nobody really knows, but could have damaged the area of his brain that regulates speech or something like that.
I believe it's called Broca's area.
Interesting. So this guy was found with legs cut off on the beach and he could have suffered some sort of head injury.
Okay, continue.
Well, he could actually make noises that others said were kind of animalistic.
So that's, you know, pretty strange.
But nobody still could figure out where this guy really came from or what had happened to him or anything about him.
He just sort of like washed up on shore.
So what were the theories about this guy?
I mean, there must have been some talk around town.
Oh, there was talk.
For sure.
Lots of talk after the old cases of Alexander Keith's IPA were swallowed up.
Theories were spewed, just like vomit.
Stories were spun.
Arguments echoed through the dim candle at taverns, bro.
And in due time, bottles were broken, blindly thrust at each other's necks.
I believe it.
Escalating disagreements, roundabouts in the pub.
Oh, shit.
You know how it goes.
Well, I mean, that got really out of hand really quick.
Well, I don't know about that last part.
But yes, talk was going around the town about this guy Jerome.
They thought maybe he was a sailor at one point.
He might have attempted a one-man mutiny.
The ship that he was on, they made him walk the plank or something.
And according to this theory, it didn't work that the man was punished by having his legs amputated at the thigh.
And yeah, horrible, horrible punishment.
Pretty crazy.
Then he was cast off, either tossed overboard or brought to the beach where he was left.
One man mutiny.
There must have been others.
Well, I mean, if the boat only had two people.
True. Just knocked him out and cut his legs off, bro.
Terrible. And then, like, properly...
Thought we were friends!
I properly bandaged you, though.
Come on.
Yeah, come on, man.
You're alive.
The other talk of the town was that he may have been an heir to a vast fortune of some kind, but others in line decided to get rid of him so that they could get the inheritance instead.
So, what do you think about that theory?
Well, I mean, that is pretty fanciful.
Now, why would they assume that?
Your guess is as good as mine, buddy, but it's said it was due to his extra, super soft, delicate hands, much like Stephen Chagall.
Yes! Oh, he's got very, very delicate hands.
So small.
So delicate.
Yeah, because apparently the doctors looked him over, of course, and they found that his hands were devoid of any signs that he had done any manual labor.
How'd you like that assessment when you walk out of there?
Like, whoa, clearly this man has not done one day of honest work in his life.
Wow, come on, man.
Sorry, I moisturized.
Jeez. Damn.
I work hard.
Well, maybe it was just due to him not being able to talk.
He was mentally handicapped.
Yeah, maybe.
That's not a bad surmising.
But the legs, though, man.
The legs.
Yeah. Fuck.
Found in 1863.
Yep, and a newspaper, Daily Echo, published an article about him back in 1912, and they said the following.
He was, quote, a well-built man and appeared to be between 75 and 80 years of age, having an intelligent look and a well-shaped head.
Ah, the well-shaped head.
Yes. Nothing like some good ol' phrenology.
Oh, bro.
Yeah, phrenology is a science that never loses its shape, nor does it get old.
Never ages.
Tells us many things.
If anyone is familiar with phrenology out there, then you know that specific areas of the brain, called organs, were responsible for specific mental characteristics.
You see, as the brain grew and pushed the skull outwards, the great scientists thought that the size of these areas could be examined by analyzing the shape of the skull's surface and its bumps and its indentations.
Yes, yes.
It tells us that the brain is the organ of the mind and human mental powers can be analyzed into a definite number of independent faculties and that these faculties, as they are, are innate and each has a seat in a certain region
of the surface of the brain.
Yes, but as you all may know, as important as phrenology seemed to most in its day, it would become a highly criticized method of quote-unquote science and would be demoted to its lesser counterpart, pseudoscience, in the early 20th century for its extremely close associations with the horrifying eugenics movement.
Ooh, eugenics.
Yeah, to those who don't know, the eugenics movement was to push a certain agenda in specific countries that promoted their theories about so-called...
Racial superiority and inferiority.
Yep, it was highly supported in academic and popular literature at the time.
Really scary stuff.
Oh, for sure.
The movement, of course, really gained ground in Germany with the Nazis and was a huge driving force for not only the mass extermination of human life, but also the forced sterilization of many groups of people.
It's just crazy that that was a quote-unquote science at the time.
It's fucking insane.
And all that shit, sterilization and experimentation, it was all legal.
Yeah, it was written, literally written into the law.
Yeah, and it wasn't It wasn't just Nazi Germany who was into eugenics.
I mean, the entire movement actually began in England, much before World War I broke out.
From there, it was brought over to the United States, where men just aching to get attention from their higher-ups began to really push it into its darker moments.
Now, you'd think that in the good old US of A, there would be nothing but white eugenicists, right?
Well, you'd be wrong to think that.
Mixed in with all the white eugenicists were black eugenicists, who were also stern supporters of the eugenics movement.
Pretty fucking interesting, right?
I don't even know how that works.
Well... Seriously, I have no idea.
Alright, well, maybe this will give you an idea.
One such black eugenicist was William Edward Burghardt Dubois, who was an American sociologist and social reformer.
A pretty popular one, too.
And one of his most famous quotes is the following.
Quote, Only fit blacks should procreate to eradicate the race's heritage of moral iniquity.
End quote.
Oof! Jeez!
Rough. That is sizzling.
Sizzling stuff.
Oh, man.
Yeah, man.
The eugenics thing is, well, it's still happening today, believe it or not.
Oh, yeah.
Good old forced sterilizations.
It's a great day to be alive.
Yep. And 148 female prisoners in two different California prisons were sterilized without their knowledge between 2006 and 2010, but that's just one incident of many.
That's, yeah, super terrifying.
Awful. Anyway, we'll be doing an episode on human experimentation, especially at the hands of the U.S. government later on.
So, yeah.
Coop is actually going to be a test subject, and we're going to call the government in and just, like, say, hey, go to town.
Feds, just, this guy is your white rabbit.
Just go for it.
Shoot him up.
Throw everything you've got at him.
Throw everything you've got at him.
See what happens.
He's got a well-shaped head.
Also, on a side note, I learned at a young age it's not good to confuse eugenics with the band Eurythmics.
That's a good point.
Sweet dreams are made of thee.
That's easy to do.
I've done it a number of times.
I don't recommend it.
I've made that mistake three times already today.
It's a very different kind of music.
Yeah, let's not put out too much bird feed there.
We've got to save some of that for the muzzling when we do that episode.
Yeah, indeed.
So let's save that and move on to a story that we're going to do today, shall we?
We shall.
Well, what do you say, pal?
I say we cue the band, get them fired up and rocking out, set the mood in here.
Agreed. And I love how every time that music starts to play, Wayne Dale has the biggest, most...
He loves that music.
It's definitely his all-time favorite.
Always has been, always will be, because he's a fucking fruitcake, that guy.
Fucking look at him up there, man.
Nothing matters to him.
It's like he's five years old again on family vacation.
Oh, yeah.
You mean the traveling carnival?
Yeah. Yeah, right.
So I think this music just snaps him right back there the instant those huge floppy ears of his hear it.
Just look at him.
His eyes are looking in totally opposite directions now.
What is that?
He's drooling.
Yeah, what's up with that?
Check out his mouth.
It's like he's trying to say something, but he's also eating something at the same time.
What the fuck is that?
That's really weird, man.
Is he having a seizure?
No, no, man.
No, he's good.
He's got that.
He can handle him.
He's a big boy, isn't that?
Isn't that right, Wayne?
You got that?
Wayne, you got that up there?
I mean, he just kind of nod.
I don't know if it's a seizure or he's telling me yes.
I couldn't tell if that was a nod or if it was like an unintentional, just like a...
You know, seizure jerk.
Exactly. We'll take it as a yes.
He's nodding.
Yeah, we'll take it as a nod for sure.
Well, I suppose we shall journey ahead.
Um, yeah, because I can already tell I'll have to pay the musicians a hell of a lot more for this episode than usual.
Holy shite!
Really racking up the pennies on this one.
All right.
Well, let's hit it.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your pennies in a twist and get ready.
It's the segment.
You're currently ignoring your children for it.
It's the always lovable and always cute.
Trade for trade.
Nice. Alright.
Yeah, that's a good one, man.
Alright. Well, this first story is from BleacherReport.com articles.
Elon Musk vs.
Mark Zuckerberg.
The fight is confirmed, bro.
Money will be donated to veterans.
I don't know if you've been following this story, but Twitter owner Elon Musk announced Friday that he and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg finally agreed on some terms to have a legit MMA fight.
Musk tweeted that the fight will take place in Italy.
It's going to be promoted by his and Zuckerberg's foundations.
It's going to be streamed live on Twitter and Meta.
And he also tweeted that all the proceeds will be donated to the veterans.
There's no date yet provided.
But he did say, and that's Musk, by the way, there might be a chance that he and Zuckerberg would duke it out inside the historic Colosseum in Rome.
Well, I know we heard that before.
The minister of culture there said that no violence can take place inside.
But maybe they can pay the guy just enough money to let it happen.
Yeah, maybe they'll...
If anybody could, I feel like these guys could throw them a little cash.
Just throw them a $20.
Hey man, could you just turn around for about an hour?
No. Not that it's going to take that long.
Neither of these guys Zuckerberg might last for an hour in the ring, but I don't think Musk is going to.
I don't know if he knows what he's into.
Musk? No.
Musk? Does not have endurance at all.
Not at all.
He's 52 years old.
He hasn't done any training.
He's like...
I mean, he's not in bad shape per se, but you could just tell Zuckerberg's been, you know...
He's been training, man.
Musk is in good shape for a man who has done nothing but programming and talking to people.
His whole life.
Exactly. He's not out there shooting balls.
He's not out there doing anything extracurricular.
No. Yeah, he's famous for saying you just work more than the average person, and that's how you become successful.
Yeah. Yeah, it'll be an interesting fight to watch.
My money's on Zuckerberg.
For sure.
I think everyone knows that.
Musk is going to be a big underdog, so those bets are going to be pretty high in Vegas.
Believe you me.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure you're going to be able to bet on it.
You want to go to Vegas for this?
Yeah, let's go see it, bro.
Let's go.
Let's go, man.
We can probably get Wayne Dale to get us some Paranautica podcast passes, so we'll be official.
Oh, Paranautica tent.
Yeah, we'll have Paranautica drinks, Paranautica snacks.
I don't know what else.
We'll have a Paranautica toilet just for the hell of it.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just like, has our theme song every time the lid goes up.
And the flush.
The flush makes the song.
The flush is just the Sean Connery song.
There you go.
So delicate.
So small.
Yeah. Oh, God.
The second story is from www.mirror.co.uk news slash world news slash mum cut out.
Apparently, somebody's mother was cut out of a 27-foot python.
What's she doing in there?
Horrifying. Oh, yeah.
Hey! Get out of there!
After being eaten while she was gardening.
Oh, my gosh.
I can't even imagine that.
So this went down in Indonesia.
Oh, man.
A 54-year-old woman lost her life when she was swallowed headfirst by a 27-foot-long python near her home.
Her family was concerned after she didn't return home from doing some gardening.
Children raised the alarm.
Next morning, a search party was launched, and they discovered a huge-ass snake with a giant, human-sized lump.
So they cut the snake open, and sure enough, the mother was inside.
Alive, right?
She just popped out.
I need to get back to my gardening.
The quote in the article is, Unfortunately, the victim was lifeless.
No! Take my comment back.
Didn't work out so well from her, but that's crazy, dude.
Could you imagine?
Dude, no.
A 27-foot-long python just creeps up on you?
What are you going to do once that thing is a hold of you?
You're toast.
Oh, yeah.
Good luck, dude.
Oh, my God.
Good luck.
I've seen a couple other videos, too.
There's a video of a person reaching inside, and this is a much smaller boa's tank, but the snake bit him on the arm and then wrapped around the arm and started squeezing.
The blood, the amount of blood that was coming out of the arm increased so much because of the constriction of the snake.
The guy was just like panicking because even though it was a small bite, he was losing a lot of blood suddenly because the snake was around his arm and he couldn't get it off.
And I was like, that guy's toast, dude.
Jesus, dude.
Even though the snake wasn't around his body, he's gonna bleed to death.
Yeah, that's just an alarm.
People were trying to just pry the snake off his arm.
I was like, good luck.
Holy, dude.
Good luck.
So yeah, don't mess with snakes.
No, snakes scare me.
I like snakes.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
They're cool, but...
Yeah, they're cool.
I mean, they're serious, though.
People don't respect them the way they should.
They're cool when they're safely away from me.
You know, they're fine.
I like that.
Just same with tarantulas.
They're scary.
They got one job, and that is to constrict.
Yeah. I'm not gonna own one.
It's the same job.
But anyways, this last story from Trey for Trey comes to us from themirror.co.uk as well.
Apparently, a man dubbed the country's dumbest criminal.
Wow, how'd you like to have that as a title?
I would hate it.
Was arrested after he applied for a police job.
Apparently Thomas Nkabo, he's four years old, he was on the run for seven years for being wanted for stealing some hardware products worth more than a thousand pounds that he was actually supposed to deliver to clients, believe it or not, back in 2015.
Ran off with the loot.
Dang. He walked up into a police station to check on his application to join the force and they were like, hey man!
We've been wanting to talk to you.
Let's have a little sit down.
I have the job.
So instead of signing...
Yeah. Oh, when do I start?
Instead of signing his first check, they checked him in and arrested him for his thievery and his theft.
Yeah, the police were just like, hey...
They couldn't believe it.
They were all shaking their heads.
They were totally baffled.
They were holding up his application and they were like, is he serious?
The craziest part is that he was unexpectedly nabbed on several days after he visited to drop off the application.
He came back to make an inquiry and he wasn't expecting to be hauled in and arrested.
He's probably just thought, hey man, it's been a while.
Like, come on, man.
Let's let bygones be bygones.
Anyway, so yeah, they arrested him.
But that is our last story.
It's kind of a riveting Trey for Trey.
That's very riveting.
I just, I think all three of those stories are fascinating.
But thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for joining us once more for Trey.
portrait
Damn. Man, it's so worth it.
They get better.
Show up to play.
Well, you lose one every week, and it's almost like they're better at playing every week.
Well, I told them, I said, if you don't play well, I'm going to cut off your legs and wash you up on a beach somewhere.
Oh, toss you over.
Yeah, toss you over.
I'm going to take you out in the Pacific and cut your legs off and drop you overboard.
It's going to be a one-man mutiny.
But I'm going to sew you up nicely, and I'm going to put bandages on it, so you'll be fine.
But I don't know.
I didn't see Boxcar Joe over there with his knee slaps.
I hope he's doing alright after the surgery.
Oh, yeah.
He might not be slapping his knees no more, man.
I heard that the knee surgery...
I heard it didn't go so well.
Didn't go so well.
Oh, that is not good.
He's going to be more of an extended thigh slapper from now on.
Oh, man.
You know?
You use what you got.
You use what you got.
Sorry, Boxcar Joe.
You know what I say?
I'm sorry, Boxcar Joe.
Might as well just cut those legs off.
Go right to the hip.
Right to the hip.
Throw you overboard.
Hip slapper Joe.
Hip slapper Joe.
Sorry, buddy.
Sorry, buddy.
Guess we won't see you walking around here anymore.
Oof. Jeez.
Too soon.
Too soon.
He's in the hospital right now.
Give him a minute.
Yeah, he's not even back yet.
Shit. They're putting in the thigh extensions right now.
Ooh, those are bad.
What do you say we go into this?
Yeah, let's pop the top off this thing, man.
Let's get it going.
I mean, there was a lot there.
There was a lot that we just passed over and lost through.
I need to shake that off, and now I'm back.
I'm back now.
I'm ready.
On the evening of April 18, 2020, a Canadian man, 51-year-old Gabriel Wortmann, would begin a 13-hour assault on the people of Nova Scotia, killing 22 and injuring three others, and would end up being Canada's worst mass murder to this day.
Gabriel is believed to have acted alone in his attack, traveling from location to location in a replica police cruiser, and was more or less dressed as an officer, or at least looked similar enough to give the impression as much to unsuspecting victims.
He was armed with two pistols and two rifles, killing anyone that came within his path.
He would also set fire to a large number of houses and vehicles throughout the 13-hour rampage.
At the end of the sprawling crime scene, Gabriel would be shot a very large number of times by police, while they took a closer position on him as he sat in a car next to a pump at E.
Wow. A lot there.
This guy just seriously, like legitimately went on a crazy rampage killing spree.
And then the classic death by law enforcement at the end.
So first, who was Gabriel Wartman?
Gabriel Wartman began as a little Canadian baby and was born in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada on July 5th, 1968 to parents Paul and Evelyn Wartman.
They would decide to leave Gabriel with his grandparents for a while.
And would move down to Fitchburg, Michigan, in the United States, where they would soon have a second son.
You know what Fitchburg, Michigan is renowned for, Scott?
I seriously have no idea, dude.
It's old mills.
Just dozens upon dozens of old mills.
Shit, probably hundreds, if not thousands, of old mills.
Whoa! Okay, Fitchburg, the mill town of Michigan.
Good to know, good to know.
In 1970, they would put their second child up for adoption in Michigan.
And he would be taken in by a loving family and given the name Jeff Samuelson.
Sadly, they wouldn't tell Gabriel about the existence of his brother until he was around 40 years old, and would be right around the year 2009-2010.
This would really piss Gabriel off, and it pretty much ended his relationship with his parents.
But their relationship wasn't the greatest to start off with, as we'll see with numerous accusations of a shitty upbringing.
Gabriel's grandfather was extremely abusive to his family, so much so that one of his sons, one of Gabriel's four uncles on his father's side, Glenn Wartman, took a knife and plunged it into Grandpapa's chest when he was mid-fisticuff with Grandma Wartman.
This uncle would inevitably serve a nine-month prison term while Gabriel's grandfather recovered from the stab wound.
The oily baton of violence and terror seemed to be handed from one male generation to the next, each son copying the behavior of their father before them.
Whoa, just deeply entrenched in the family.
I mean, that happens all the time.
People witness this, they grow up in the environment, they carry it on, they project it on others.
So it's nothing new, but...
No. This is just such a classic case.
It's crazy.
Until there's like a stop, until one of those males is just like, I am not going to continue this.
This is it.
I will not.
Yeah, exactly.
So as you may be imagining, yes, Gabriel's grandfather was abusive to the young boy, but he would be rescued from that shitty environment by his parents who had come back to get him, and they would move on to Greener Pastures in Cleveland, Ohio.
Greener Pastures?
Yes. From there, the family of three would move to Phoenix, Arizona for a brief stint.
Before heading back up to Canada and settling into the most populous city in New Brunswick.
A place called Moncton.
Moncton? Moncton.
Oh yeah, Moncton.
Out there on George Road.
Near Moncton.
Stopping just before the old quarry and cement factory.
Well, that'll bring you to the spot where Rebecca's claimed to rest.
It's that damned road.
It uses up lots of animals.
Cats and dogs, mostly.
A man grows when he can, then he tends it.
Well, sometimes dead is better.
The soil of a man's heart is stoner, like the soil up there in the old Micmac burying ground.
It's like Dom's Road.
Fred Gwynn, true cinematic hero, man.
Yeah, for real.
Can't get much better than a character like Herman Munster.
I mean, come on.
I don't know.
Pet Sematary is a little bit better, I think.
It's classic.
It's classic.
It's more oft-quoted, I'd say.
Oh, yeah.
By far.
By far.
I don't think anyone ever quotes Herman Munster.
No, I don't think so either, yeah.
People would be like, what?
What the hell are you talking about, weirdo?
Get away from me.
But he's got the look, though.
He's got the look.
Yeah. But you go up to a girl and you go...
Well, sometimes that is better.
That's it, man.
That girl is in your pocket.
That's how I got my bottom bitch.
Oh, sorry.
Go ahead.
Bottom bitch.
That's my bottom bitch.
You know, sometimes that is better.
They're like, oh.
Yeah. But yeah, the Wartmans moved to Moncton, Canada, where they settled in.
His father told reporters later that Gabriel was a very smart young kid.
Smarter than he, even.
That's my bottom edge.
That's my bottom edge.
He'd say that Gabriel was brought up in a violent family and that he himself had a hell of a temper.
And while he claimed that he never physically abused Gabriel, most of the rest of the family apparently disagree.
One of his uncles, Neil Wartman, would come out and describe a lot about the inner workings of the family.
He would say that one time, he and others watched as Paul pulled out a gun in front of Gabriel and pointed it at his mother's head and threatened to kill her if she ever left him.
Phew, jeez.
Rough as a kid.
Wow. As her, as everyone in that.
Seriously. Another time, Neil and Glenn watched as Paul hit Evelyn, which knocked her to the ground, where he then started to repeatedly kick her before he was pulled away.
These two uncles will witness a shit ton of both physical and mental abuse by Paul directed toward Evelyn for years, usually in front of Gabriel.
They'd also witness Paul emotionally abuse Gabriel up until adulthood.
And on one such occasion, Paul menacingly drove his young son down a dirt road, scaring the absolute shit out of him, and apparently Paul was making threats toward his son, and Gabriel was sure that his father was going to murder him.
To him, that's what it seemed like.
And that only builds just, like, such extreme reactions to everyday situations, because the kid is just, like, subjected to this high-stress, high-strung...
environment where at the drop of a hat like your life could be in danger so you just like yeah you just build up this strong reaction to everything yeah and one of the situations where it's like you do something bad you get punished you do something good you get punished yeah it's like exactly
what do I what do I do yeah there's no way to there's no consistency and you know there's just no safety in that
When Gabriel was 7 years old, his father handed him a.22 caliber gun and told him to shoot him.
Gabriel did not pull the trigger, but it's likely that even at that age, he may have wanted to.
His younger brother, Jeff Samuelson, would recount a story that was told to him about a time when Paul was in a fit of his usual rage and put a loaded gun to both little Gabriel's head and Evelyn's head.
Obviously, when questioned about this later on, Paul denied it.
Jeff said that Paul told him that at the age of three, Gabriel didn't need a blanket anymore, so he burned it in front of him.
Fucking dick move, man.
Yeah, seriously, the blanket.
Man. There was also this other time, too, Scott, when Paul didn't think that Gabriel was taking care of the dog that he got well enough, and so he shot the dog in front of him.
And that was definitely verified.
Oof. Man, that's absolutely terrible.
Terrible. Things people shouldn't have to see.
About the abuse in the household, Paul would say the following.
I never hit Gabriel, but I would be yelling.
Which is probably just as bad as hitting.
He would go on to say, Gabriel grew up in a violent family where there was more than screaming going on.
I mean, those two quotes right there, it leaves you to think he wasn't just screaming.
Yeah, seriously.
You know?
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, you're like, yeah, sure.
I mean, first of all, you don't trust a single thing that the guy says out the gate.
You're like, no way, dude.
Yeah, of course.
He would say, The kid grew up watching his mother get beat,
so, you know, it's just monkey see, monkey do.
He would tell reporters that Gabriel despised his father, absolutely hated him.
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure he probably did.
And it was just everybody looking in saw the same thing.
They were like, yeah, dude, this kid is messed up and he came from a messed up home, so he did messed up things, you know?
Yeah, that's going to happen.
Jeff Samuelson would actually travel to Canada to meet his brother for the first time in 2010 after 40 years when his wife urged him to reach out to Gabriel.
He said they talked over the phone a few times before they met and that Gabriel had unloaded a mountain of information about his tumultuous childhood, which was full of violence.
Jeff said that Gabriel seemed happy to see him, but more interested in showing off his arsenal of weapons, including a hand grenade.
He would recount that Gabriel had numerous rifles and other weapons spread all about the rooms, all quote-unquote hidden in plain sight, as he put it, which made him feel that Gabriel was excessively paranoid.
He told reporters that, to him, there were no real red flags about Gabriel's future attack.
He did say, however, that he had learned that Paul Wartman owned a police uniform, just like what Gabriel would use in his attack.
And over the next three years, their communication slowly dwindled to nothing because, as Jeff said, Gabriel was too obsessed with money and his personal wealth, which left no room for a relationship to build.
But it was probably also due to an incident that happened when he was visiting the family and Gabriel got really drunk and started a fight with Paul over a title to a piece of property.
The fight got really bad and Gabriel threatened to kill both of his parents.
And the cops were called to de-escalate the situation.
But Jeff is reported to have regretted traveling there to meet Gabriel in the first place.
Yeah, I mean, I could see the conflict because on the one hand, this person's family, right?
On the other hand...
So much drama and such extreme environments are going to come hand in hand with this person.
You think, do I really want that?
A guy's got to think, do I want this in my life?
Can I have this in my life?
Especially if your life is different and it's going in a different direction.
The temptation is to be like, I don't even want to deal with that.
No, I'm going to keep that out of my life.
Exactly. Let's talk on the phone.
Maybe you can come visit me every once in a while.
Yeah. That's about the extent of our relationship.
Pretty much.
Yeah, pretty much.
It's sad, but you gotta make those decisions.
Sometimes you have to.
And it's important to note here that, yes, Gabriel Wartman suffered a childhood of abuse and neglect, which many believe are the cause for his vicious attack.
But as Ardeth Wynacht, a sociologist at Mount Allison University, said of it, And that's true,
you know, it's easy for me to say, like, to sit here and say, oh, well, obviously this person grew up to be this way because of...
The violence they experience.
Because, you know, it's not hard to draw a line from a childhood like that to atrocities later on down the road.
No. But!
That's a really good point that, okay, well what about the people that do experience that exact same thing and they don't grow up to be murderers and they don't kill people and they deal with it and maybe they're unhappy for the rest of their life but they still don't kill anyone.
So it can be done.
Yeah. But, you know.
It can be, man.
Comes down to the person, man.
The person, the individual.
And the chemicals, and your brain wiring, and you know.
Right. In his teenage years, he expressed his desire to work in the RCMP and follow the path of a couple of his other uncles who have not been mentioned yet.
Alan and Chris Wortman.
Both are retired.
Interestingly, and rather disturbingly, Chris would tell the media the following.
I knew he was always capable of killing somebody or causing serious harm.
I always thought...
Well, maybe he'll kill his parents.
Or maybe Lisa Banfield, his common-law wife.
I just didn't think he'd go on a rampage.
Oof. That's spooky, you know?
The people around him are like, this guy is a killer.
I know he is.
But then, you know, you have the same thoughts like you do when you encounter people in real life.
And you're like, huh, watch out for that dude.
You know, you joke around like, oh man, he's gonna go on a spree.
And then the person actually does.
Woo! Man.
Dang. Classmates and those who knew him said that he acted as though he was above the law.
And that's probably because of his two uncles being in the RCMP.
And as we'll see here, he would later see a psychiatrist in 2000, a Dr. Douglas Maines.
And Maines would diagnose him with narcissistic personality.
So according to the DSM-5, to make that diagnosis, the person must check off at least five of the nine established traits of narcissism.
The following list will now be read in the style of Billy Mays and his OxyClean commercials.
Hi, I'm Dr. Douglas Mays, and I'm here to tell you about the DSM-5, making the diagnosis for traits of narcissism.
Number one, feeling of grandiose and self-importance.
Which I think everyone should feel important.
Two, sense of entitlement.
Yeah, that can get pretty annoying pretty quick.
Three, being preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
Okay, so this is what America-merica is.
That right there, number three.
That is the tagline of America.
Fantasies of success, power, brilliance, ideal love, and especially beauty.
Four, having the belief that you are special and unique and can only be understood by or should associate with other special or high-status people or institutions.
Um, yeah, so I guess now is a great time to mention Mensa, the high-IQ society, you frickin' I mean,
if it's extreme and clearly noticeable, yeah, I think there's a problem.
Nine, demonstrating arrogance and haughty behaviors and attitudes.
And those are the ones you just want to slap around and say, shut up!
But yeah, so if you check off five of those bad boys, then you can put yourself on that list.
And Coop, do you know the one word narcissists hate the most?
Um, no.
Exactly. What?
I'm talking people like Anders Breivik, the mass murderer in Oslo and Notoya in 2011.
This man killed 77 and injured 319 using a car bomb and firearms.
That was a crazy attack.
And we'll cover it eventually, actually.
And, of course, James Huberty, who did the San Ysidro McDonald's shooting.
Which we already covered, and if you haven't listened to it, go back and check that out, please.
But yeah, those two were bonafide narcissists.
Shuberti, bro.
Shuberti. Oh, Shuberti.
Yeah, definitely.
It's a two-parter.
The James Huberti Santa Cedric McDonald shooting one.
It's a two-parter.
I think episode 13 and 14, if I'm not mistaken.
It's a classic at this point.
It is a classic.
They're still running it in theaters all over the world in different languages, just like Star Wars.
It's usually a double feature.
Yeah, it's nuts.
Emperor Strikes Back and then James Schubert-y.
I'd go see the second half of that double feature.
Same. Only.
Yeah. So Gabriel Wartman was diagnosed as a narcissist in 2000 after four visits with the psychiatrist.
Then in 2009, he saw Dr. Cynthia Forbes for hypertension and this is when he self-reported his history of alcoholism.
Yeah, because he is said to be a big drinker.
Yeah, and for many years beforehand, too.
And his father would say that he was drinking at least a dozen beers every day.
Seems more like a baker's dozen type of guy to me.
Yeah. And the type that loved Alexander Keith's IPA.
Yeah, apparently the worst-tasting beer in Nova Scotia.
Oldest, too.
It's been around for a minute.
Those around him had concerns about his drinking because it was apparent to them that he became a different person when he was drunk.
He became angry, temperamental, and unpredictable, often mistaking lipstick for eyeliner.
Dr. Forbes suggested that he go see a psychologist to help him with all the stress he was reporting.
But to this, he said, You know what?
I don't think I'm going to go do that.
Who are you again?
Dr. Forbes?
Yeah, so I'll have to turn down your offer at this time, generous though it is.
I appreciate your suggestion and your concern of my life, doctor.
But, uh, nah.
Now's just not a good time to see no psychologist.
I'm just too stressed.
He returned to Dr. Forbes.
Too stressed.
He returned to Dr. Forbes in 2020 and made seven visits to her for treatment of his benign hypertension, but that was the end of his psychiatric treatment.
And remember, his attack occurred on July 13th of the same year, but I'm not sure when his last visit with Dr. Forbes was.
Oh, well, might have been related, Dr. Forbes.
But let's back our booties up a little.
Oh, yeah, backing up them booties.
After graduating Riverview High School in 1986, he attended the University of New Brunswick in Fredericton, Canada for a brief time before he stopped going to school there and began to study to become a mortician before deciding that there just wasn't enough money in that business unless you owned the funeral home.
Wait, hold up a sec.
Mortician? Dude, James Huberty was a mortician.
Oh wait, wasn't he?
No, he was an embalmer.
I think he was an embalmer.
But still, like...
Whoa, weird coincidence, dude.
Yeah, it is kind of a weird coincidence.
Let's keep an eye on that.
In the words of George Norrie, there is no such thing as a coincidence.
Oh man, old George Norrie.
Love that guy.
Although, Coast to Coast has all but lost its oomph, in my opinion.
It kind of has, yeah, unfortunately.
It's not like it used to be, man.
Nope. During this time, Gabriel was smuggling cigarettes and alcohol from the U.S. and mostly selling the product to struggling students at the university.
Yeah, that was all their milk money.
Bagged milk money.
He kept doing the side hustle for years, and he was openly proud of it, practically bragging about it.
And one of his uncles would say that this is how he paid for his education, which is great!
I say go for it, kids.
Polish your business entrepreneurial skills and make that bank through lucrative means.
Safely and legally.
Oh, safely is the operative word.
Legally? Nah, just kidding.
Gotta do it legally, too.
Come on.
But yeah, you gotta make that bag.
You gotta step those steps.
You gotta fresh those fish.
You know?
Yeah, I know.
Fish, fish, fish.
FISH! FISH!
And needless to say, Gabriel seemed to purposely make friends with a lot of the shadier folk of the community.
He would hang out with career criminals, he had illegal radar detectors, he bought stolen merchandise, he sold black market items himself, he collected firearms and cash, and is said to have sold over 10,000 OxyContin pills.
And what does a person like this do?
Dress like the Hamburglar and break into Fort Knox?
Huh? Well, if Fort Knox actually had anything worth of value, sure.
True, true.
It's only where they say they keep the gold.
Right. But no, Scott.
These people set their sights on becoming a dentist.
And become a dentist, he did.
He opened up a shop located in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, on Portland Street, which made him a millionaire.
Fackin' sweet, bro.
Talk about oiled-up motorcycles, tea-themed Christmas parties, luxury secondhand cars and boats with the sickest spoilers, all that bling-bling, some log homes, exotic vacations to Jacksonville, Florida, a condo in the Dominican Republic.
Dude, that right there is the millionaire checklist.
Check, check, check.
Set me up with some lobster bisque and a grilled cheese sandwich with gold leaf.
There you go.
I mean, Gabriel did buy most of that shit, so I guess you're right.
But there was a bit of a family domestic issue that happened at the condo there in the Dominican Republic.
Oh, really?
Yeah. So Gabriel and his father, Paul, they got into this argument and Gabriel started saying that his dad was a terrible father and going off on him, you know?
And Paul will later say that he tried to apologize to him about being a bad father because he admitted he was.
But Gabriel just started punching his dad, who then fell over a bench or something like that, and then Gabriel stood over Paul and just started laying haymakers left and right at his face, and it freaking knocked Paul out.
Whoa! And the staff at the resort, they had to step in and be like, yo, what's going on here?
Oh, man, yeah, they're like, dude, quit attacking that old man.
Yeah, and that was just one incident of many.
But there was this one incident I wanted to bring up.
It involved Gabriel violently attacking a 15-year-old boy right outside of his dentist office in 2001.
Kid must have said something about the veneers that his grandmother had just gotten done.
Woo! Ooh, man, knocking down this guy's work on veneers, yeah.
Kid must not have been flossing.
Exactly. That could have been the impetus, but it seems like this kid was just too close to his business, so he had to do something about it, you know, naturally.
Yeah, absolutely.
Anything to keep the Yelp reviews at the top shelf level.
Yeah, and after the incident, the kid would say this.
Um, I was just standing there, and I had to sit down with my shreddy cereal bites so I could get to my Kraft peanut butter, which was in my nappy.
And once I got that out, I took the tour de air.
That I had in my back pocket.
I dipped it in the bagged milk that I had tried to tie to my belt buckle.
Really nice belt buckle, by the way.
So, as I was getting all my things in order, he came out in a half-drunken rage.
Ended up punching himself once or twice on accident before he finally realized that it was I that needed a good punching.
So I says, hey, don't hit me, mister.
But he hit me anyway.
Hit me so many times in the head that even he lost count.
And right when I thought it was all over and I could get home to play solitaire, I tried to crawl over to where my shreddies were laying on the ground.
All smashed up now, by the way.
And I got to my peanut butter and my tortier and the bag milk.
Well, that was now drenching my leg, but it was okay because I just picked up my tortier.
No sooner had I put that succulence in my mouth, and that's when, like, BAM!
I just got sucker smacked right in the head with a crowbar.
Just out of nowhere.
A crowbar.
His friend, like, came over from around the corner.
Real shady character.
He hit me with a freaking crowbar.
I mean, can you believe that?
Then they stopped for a second, just, like, just for a second, though.
And then they did the strangest thing.
They started doing this, like, synchronized foot dancing routine with all these weird toe taps and hand gestures.
But their upper bodies just seemed frozen in time.
Like, nothing above the knee.
It was, like, truly incredible.
It was amazing.
And then they were silent the whole time when they were doing it.
I've never seen a finer show of synchronizations, but then out of nowhere, when I wasn't looking, all of a sudden the two guys immediately stopped their toe dancing, and they started to deliver the most vicious kicks to my body, and they were stomping all over me and whatnot, and they really put it to me,
these two guys.
Man, that sounds like a good time.
Sounds like a real tiptoe through the tulips, you know?
Geez. I mean, I feel bad for the Shreddies.
They got stomped.
That's not cool, man.
Boy Shreddies.
Man. Damn these guys.
Well, Gabriel was charged with assault and sentenced to nine months probation.
Apparently the police didn't care about the kid's mention of the second guy as he's not in the police reports.
And take a guess why the kid was at that spot to begin with, Scott.
Um... Man, I don't know, dude.
Tell me.
He was there because it's a bus stop.
He was literally just waiting for the bus to arrive.
Dang. That'll teach you that.
He's just chilling.
Yeah, he's like, oh, bus is a little late.
Oh, hey, man.
Whoa, whoa.
Psh, psh, psh, psh, psh.
Ah, psh.
I just can't picture the toe dance routine before.
Just do a little synchronization.
Then all of a sudden they look at each other and look down at him and start kicking.
It was cool and now it's not!
Oh, man.
In 2004, Gabriel had loaned a man named Steven Zink $38,000 to help pay his mortgage.
Thing was, Gabriel had tricked him somehow into changing the name on the title of his family home to his own, and Zink would ultimately lose his house to Gabriel.
How it was that easy to do, it's over my head.
I don't know how the hell that happened.
Yeah, seriously.
I need to move up there, man.
I'll have like five houses by the end of the week.
I guarantee it.
So, about Gabriel, Stephen said...
Alright, let's introduce Lisa Banfield.
Lisa Banfield was a 53-year-old common-law wife of Gabriel.
Apparently, they never actually married, so that's good on her.
After the attack, she came out to publicly speak about what life was like with Gabriel during an official court hearing.
The prosecution agreed to spare her from cross-examination because they determined that any cross-examination And while she didn't actually see anything go down that night,
other than what Gabriel had done to her, she was able to escape into the woods where she said she could hear the sound of gunshots coming from different areas until they just went too far away.
She said that she could also see the glow from the fires that he was setting to numerous houses and cars as he went.
I mean, to be her and like witnessing this and just standing there, just like trying to...
You're shocked because it's really happening and it's the worst thing that could possibly happen.
But at the same time, not shocked because you're just so aware of what this person's like.
You're like, yeah, this was always going to happen.
Dude, yeah, in her position, you know, she's just sitting there thinking about...
Who he's going to go kill next.
And she hears a gunshot and she's like, that sounds like neighbor so-and-so.
And then she hears a gunshot and she's like, that sounds like neighbor so-and-so.
And the shots just get further and further away and she's like, oh my god.
And then fires come up and they're like, holy fuck, he's starting fires everywhere.
So yeah, it must have just been gnarly.
So insane, I can't even imagine.
During a hearing to decide if Lisa should be cross-examined by the defense, the lawyers representing the families of 14 of the victims and most of the family members got up and left the hearing as a sign of protest.
They believed that the wife of this mass murderer needed to be cross-examined to get to the truth of exactly why Gabriel Wortman did what he did.
And I do personally agree with that.
You know, as shitty as it was that what she had to experience there...
I mean, there have been numerous cases of people who have been ordered to be cross-examined in cases where they literally had to watch the most brutal torture, murder, and dismemberment of human bodies.
And that's not going to be traumatizing.
I mean, it's Canada.
It's a different place, but...
It's a different place, and it's just unfortunate, because triggering though it may have been, it's just these...
These grieving people need something.
They need some kind of closure.
And I fully believe she probably had the power to provide some of that.
Exactly. I think, man, the pros and cons of this situation are all of these 14 victims and their families are going to have at least what they asked for.
That's all.
They were just asking some questions about...
Exactly why Gabriel would have done this in the first place.
That's all they wanted to know.
And they just wouldn't want to cross-examine Lisa because she might get triggered.
It goes over my head.
That's tough.
Yeah, that's tough.
Tough stuff.
Some say that this was all part of a cover-up to protect the identifications of certain individuals within the RCMP who are said to be involved in some way with Gabriel Wartman.
Still, to this day, it is suspected by many that Gabriel was a special agent of some kind or an informant or something for the RCMP.
And some of those that suspect this are actually within the RCMP themselves.
But we're going to touch on that in Part 2 a little bit.
Interesting, interesting.
The plot thickens, huh?
Yeah. Lisa Banfield would reveal that Gabriel was intolerably violent.
Here's one example.
In 2003, they were at a large gathering in Sutherland Lake, which is a little north of the location where Gabriel would begin his attack, a place called Portapique.
She says that at this gathering, and it was nighttime, that she was wanting to leave, but Gabriel thought it was just ridiculous.
And he, of course, became upset, but the two would eventually leave.
Lisa says she was driving a jeep, and she says that as soon as she started driving away from this party thing, he started to slap her in the face.
And she kept driving for a little bit, yelling at him to stop, but he kept slapping her around with more intensity with each hit.
That is when she jumped out of the jeep and ran off into the woods, and Gabriel was quick to catch up with her, and he grabbed her by the hair and started to punch her.
Lisa said she was screaming and trying desperately to protect herself as he's just dragging her by her hair back to the road.
But there were two ATVs who had just put their lights on in their direction and they were witnessing the attack.
Wow, so they're just sitting there in their ATVs knocking back some Rojo Mojo Red Ales as they watch this guy just like violently attack a woman in the woods.
That's insane.
They're like, whoa, what's going on here?
Well, the cops were called, but Gabriel was not arrested or charged, and he was just driven back to their house in Portapique.
Ooh, what?
That is suspicious, bro.
He doesn't really get in much trouble for anything he does.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Like, he beat that kid?
Yeah. And he got nine months probation?
Like, are you kidding me?
Right. I don't think so.
In this particular case with Lisa, she said that she didn't want to press charges and just wanted to walk away from the situation.
I don't know.
I think in most places in the United States, the cops are going to press charges regardless.
Yeah, here, I mean, someone else can call it in and you're still getting charged.
Because at that point, the state picks it up for disturbing the peace.
Yeah, it's crazy, you know.
That's just not an option.
But the two had met back in 2001 at a bar in Halifax.
And on their first date, she says he brought her a dozen roses and she thought it was over the top.
Almost comical.
But she would find herself liking him more and more as they hung out that night, and they formed a strictly platonic relationship.
But even though it was platonic, they still shared a bed and spooned as they slept, and they left cute little notes to each other around the house.
They also showered together.
Yeah, they showered together.
Rubbed soap on each other's backs, you know.
Yep, and it was agreed that he could pee on the backside of her legs for ten seconds, and that was it.
Ten seconds.
But it's platonic.
Platonic, nothing weird.
You know, a couple of friends.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, man.
Nothing weird.
No, this is your typical run-of-the-mill friendship.
Nothing romantic about it.
Because then that would be weird, right?
Oh, that makes it weird.
Yeah, totally.
It's gotta be friends.
Yeah, alright.
Alright, alright, alright.
We're just joking.
It's all just satirical garbly gook.
Relax. Yeah, relax.
Kidding around.
Just kidding.
We do all feel very terrible for the victims of this horrendous and senseless spree murder and all the victims of actual violence in general.
Of course.
All of the victims, and the families of the victims, we feel sorry for the entire community, that I'm sure is still reeling in the aftermath of all of this shit.
It was heinous.
Look, we have to add some humor to these horrible things, otherwise we're just inundated with nothing but the most saddening of stories, and it can get rough at times.
Exactly. We don't smile, we cry.
In another incident, Glenn, one of Gabriel's uncles, said that he saw Gabriel straddling Lisa's chest and choking her because he thought she was cheating on him.
Luckily, he and another guy pulled him off of her, but she didn't report that to the police either.
Another time, at a bonfire in 2013, Gabriel threw Lisa to the ground and started choking her.
Again, people intervened, but the cops were not called again.
And again, in the same year, she would show up at the doorstep of a neighbor's house shaking out of fear for her life after Gabriel had threatened her.
Imagine just being the neighbor, like, oh, there she goes again, running out of the house, just after hearing some crazy shit, you know?
Oh, yeah.
Or the neighbor's like, ugh, don't come to my house again.
Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Quit coming.
You have to quit coming here.
Yeah. He's got the ring doorbell.
Bing bong.
Like, damn it, Lisa.
Nobody answer.
What's up?
Just a family watching a movie.
Lights are on.
Noise in the house.
Doorbell rings.
Dad's like, shut the lights off.
Shut that dog up.
Anyone be quiet?
Do the lights off.
Terrible, terrible.
Yeah, that was terrible.
She said that he would behave like this any time that she appeared to be having a good time, regardless if there were people around or not.
He just didn't care.
But she stayed with him up until the end.
And the crazy part to the beating is that Lisa remembers after Gabriel beat the crap out of his dad in the Dominican Republic and when Paul was all good again, Paul would tell Lisa to leave Gabriel because Paul admitted that he was violent towards his wife.
And it was clear that Gabriel was following his footsteps, and Paul did not want Lisa to go through that.
So that was really good on his part to actually acknowledge that.
Yeah, he tried.
I mean, at least he was honest.
Yeah, you know.
And much later, after Gabriel's attack on Nova Scotia, Paul would come forward to say that Gabriel would come to him and tell him about abusing Lisa.
He said that Gabriel told him that he would tie her up and beat her.
Wow. Just receiving that information and then having to make a decision on how far you go or how much to reach out or if you're going to do anything.
It's crazy.
No one would ever do anything with any information that Gabriel would tell them because they all said they feared him.
Everyone was afraid of Gabriel.
When you're getting these reports, I mean, yeah.
You're like, he's going to beat the shit out of me too if I say something.
I mean, he went on.
He's making death threats to neighbors and shit.
Yeah. Like, it's crazy.
And in the same sentence as Paul was trying to get Lisa to leave Gabriel, he continued to say that Gabriel treated Lisa very well and even bought her a nice white Mercedes and thousands of dollars worth of jewelry.
Whoa, you hear that, Wayndale?
So now let's jump our booties up to June of 2010.
Okay. We know that Gabriel had sort of loathed his parents a little bit, and by 2010 is when Jeff Samuelson came into the picture and caused Gabriel to truly resent his parents for keeping his younger brother a secret from him for 40 years.
And that's totally understandable.
Absolutely. Yes.
Oh, I had a brother for 40 years and you guys never told me?
Yeah, I mean, drop that bomb and like, what?
I mean, your whole life changes in an instant.
Suddenly you have a family member.
Also in 2010, Glenn Wartman would receive a call from Gabriel who was irate and screaming about a land deal that he was pissed off at Paul about.
Glenn said that Gabriel then threatened to head to Moncton to kill his parents.
Glenn would call his brother Paul to notify him, and Paul would contact the RCMP.
The responding RCMP officer would hear from Paul that Gabriel was a really bad alcoholic and also owned numerous firearms.
Two officers would head to Gabriel's home, which was also on Portland Street.
And while there, they talked to Lisa Banfield, who told them that Gabriel had passed out hours earlier from drinking.
She would tell them that there were no weapons inside the house, and when asked about whether Gabriel had made death threats to his parents, she couldn't give an affirmative answer, one way or the other.
Interestingly, during a later interview with police, Lisa would say that on the night in question of Gabriel threatening his parents, he had fired a weapon into a wall of their home, which terrified the woman naturally.
But she wouldn't say anything at the time to the police.
Later, though, she would explain that Gabriel kept guns everywhere and he had a handgun on the nightstand next to him at all times.
Lisa was worried because she said Gabriel told her that if the cops ever came, that he would be ready to start shooting.
So when the cops did come and she answered the door, she was afraid that he would do as he said he would do, so she lied to the cops to get them to leave because she didn't want Gabriel running down the stairs and start shooting the police.
The police would leave, but not before leaving a police business card with her to give to Gabriel about setting up a meeting.
They then left.
The next day, they tried again.
This time, they didn't receive an answer at the door.
And when they were heading back to their police cruiser...
Yeah, a guy like that.
That paranoid with that many weapons.
The moment he gets a hint that they're on or after him.
He's out of there, dude.
Of course.
He's not going to stick around.
Hell no.
That paranoid?
Yeah. No.
But the cops would ask Gabriel if he had, in fact, made death threats to his parents, to which he, too, would not give an affirmative answer, one way or the other.
He added that he would also be away for the next month at his cottage in Portapique, and then he'd be taking a little trip to New England.
So, yeah, he would be around for a bit.
Sorry. And the police still asked to meet in person at some point and stressed the issue about weapons in the house.
He lied and told them that he only had a pellet gun and two antique muskets, which didn't work.
The police would say that he became confrontational and said, look, if you're going to charge me, charge me.
And then he hung up.
Undaunted, the police would eventually speak with Paul again, who told them that he was adamant that Gabriel had several working weapons, including rifles and handguns, but that he had not seen them in over five years.
Without having actually seen the weapons in five years,
And Glenn was the one that received the phone call in the first place from Gabriel.
Yeah, good luck.
But Glyn was fearful that Gabriel would have killed him if he cooperated.
Therefore there was no cooperation and so the case and file were closed.
A former neighbor of Gabriel's, Brenda Forbes, told the police that she saw Gabriel's illegal weapons in 2007 or 2008.
But the police told her that they had no proof that Gabriel had any weapons, despite what numerous neighbors, friends, family, and people who were working on his properties were saying.
The police would run a check through the Canadian Firearms Registry, which would show that Gabriel did not have any registered firearms, and the police chose not to take further action.
People in the community were growing overwhelmingly worried about Gabriel, but at the time, the RCMP would say that there just wasn't sufficient evidence to gain a search warrant for his properties.
It's interesting to think, like, if more of these things had been taken seriously, if they had tried a little harder, how many lives would have been saved?
They could have done a lot more, too.
That's the thing about this.
They could have done so much more.
Well, he's got such a documented history.
Yeah. Not like one of those guys that, you know...
Graduates from charm school and has, like, a perfect life and everyone's, like, shocked when he starts eating people.
I mean, signs that this guy was murderer material go back to when he was just a youngster, you know?
But there was another officer, Constable Greg Wiley, who had known Gabriel for a long time, many years, and he would form some sort of relationship with Gabriel.
And would even visit him while on duty at his house no less than 16 times within two years leading up to the 2020 killing spree.
Well, to be fair, I mean, if they were truly friends, you know, and I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but that could just be like the hallmark of a normal friendship.
I want to toss him that bone.
I'll toss him that bone this time.
Right now.
Well, some say that there are a few interesting things about this little relationship that they had.
Okay. But apparently, it all started in 2007 or 2008 when someone had stolen some of Gabriel's tools from his shop, which was legitimate.
But it appears that the relationship went further back than that.
Greg would say that Gabriel had become a contact and that he had five other similar contacts in the community.
Confidential informant?
Special agent?
What is this?
Wiley would say that these people were not official sources, and he didn't keep any log of their discussions, because why would you when you're trying to keep something a total secret?
Well, I suppose that's true.
You wouldn't want somebody stumbling across some damning cover blower like that.
But he'd say that when he'd visit Gabriel at least 16 times, they'd just sit in Gabriel's house drinking double-doubles and feeding each other Tim bits with their arms entwined, or standing in the driveway and talking privately.
I'm picturing them now.
Standing in the driveway, right?
Having these secret discussions, and when Gabriel's, like, telling something to Wiley, Wiley's telling something to him that they do, you know, they're, like, whispering into each other's ears, and, like, blocking the view with their hand, you know what I mean?
All furtive.
Right, yeah, or the other one they do, where they sit on benches, with the bench's backs to each other, and they're looking in opposite directions, and it appears that when they are talking, they're actually just talking to themselves.
Or maybe reading a newspaper or something, but in reality, they are secretively talking to each other.
Yeah, one's, like, pulling out a paper bag with, like, fixings for a sandwich, just, like, building the sandwich one layer at a time.
Yeah. Super slowly.
There's, like, a pigeon on the table across from him, and he's, like, acting like he's talking to the pigeon.
Yeah! But they're actually not even talking anything secret.
Right, right, right.
They're just like, yep.
Betty down at the hardware store says the storm's coming in next week.
Gonna hit the coast by Tuesday.
Maybe by Friday.
Or for sure, and, like, Lisa is peeking out the window, like, what in the king's skid marks are they doing out there?
You hear about Bobby down there two towns over?
Three clicks to the left and up the old Tumble Creek Road?
Up there by Goose Pimple Mountain?
Not yet, but I reckon you're about to tell me, buddy.
Oh, well, it's pretty exciting news.
He was riding his bicycle, hit a turtle as it was crossing the road.
Little son of a buffalo berry went right over the handlebars and split his coconut right open.
Must have been going pretty quick there, no?
Well, Joanne said all she did was give him a small push on flat ground, mind you.
Not even a hill in sight.
Well, that's just amazing.
Sure is, though.
Seems like the turtle was laying in wait for the most opportune moment to pop out.
Give the boy a bit of a workover, you know what I mean?
I sure do, buddy.
I sure do.
It seems the turtle was holding a bit of a grudge against the young man.
Only the king knows what he'd been doing to that turtle for it to hold a grudge like that, though.
Dang. Dang, man.
Killer turtles.
Yeah. Reptiles.
Watch out.
Wildey would say that these visits would last about 20 minutes and he would always be on duty in a uniform and in a police vehicle.
Even Wiley, who'd been inside Gabriel's house and around his property, said that he never once saw a firearm anywhere other than the antique muskets hanging on the wall.
He also said his relationship with Gabriel was strictly business, that they were not friends at all.
But then he told Cordell Poirier, who was a regional police officer with Halifax, that he, Wiley, was a good friend of Gabriel's.
So clearly, there's some fishy shit going on with Greg Wiley.
Alright, that's fair.
Yeah, now with all these other things kind of coming to light, it definitely seems like there's something going on.
And then in 2011, Corporal Greg Densmore of the Truro Police Service said that some random guy came up to him while he was on duty and told him straight up that Gabriel Wardman had several weapons, including at least one handgun and a number of long rifles at his cottage.
Which were most likely stashed in a compartment behind the flue or the chimney for those in the states and elsewhere who are unfamiliar with a flue.
And he also told the corporal that Gabriel had been very verbal in talking about his plan to kill a cop.
That's when the corporal had a bulletin issued which read, Use extreme caution when dealing with Wartman.
The officers involved in this would later say that they did not recall seeing that bulletin.
The tipster was said to be a pretty reliable person and had first-hand knowledge of Gabriel's weapons, but Constable Wiley, who was apparently in charge to follow up on this, never followed up on it.
Later, it was found that any notes or documents or anything relating to any investigation on Gabriel were either lost, never documented, or were completely purged from the RCMP files, which they admitted to.
Whoa! Shady!
That is some shady stuff right there.
Hmm. Yeah, you don't say.
Yeah. So basically, there was a ton of police mismanagement and clearly an inability to communicate within the department, or this was all a ruse to get the media and curious armchair investigators off the police department's back.
Because remember, people believe that Gabriel had a special relationship with the RCMP, even a number of police within the RCMP.
And it certainly appears that way at this point.
But there's even more that leads to the credibility of this theory.
There was an incident in 2018...
When Angela Saumur had been going to see Gabriel for dental work over a three-month period.
She said that he was really interested in her, giving her a ton of attention, ignoring other patients, even offering her a job, and he kept inviting her to his house.
And he also made sexual remarks toward her when they were alone together in his office.
Apparently, Lisa Banfield found out about Gabriel's behavior with this woman and was understandably angry with him.
Well, sure, of course.
Instead of finding himself at fault, because, you know, he's a full-blown narcissist.
Ah, yes, the nine traits.
Angela, well, she would stop going to see Gabriel for dental work.
But this didn't stop him from going to see her.
Oh, well, hopefully with nothing but good intentions.
One night, he showed up at her house and started pounding hard on the door.
She didn't answer it, of course.
And over a short period of time, he just walked away.
It's unclear if she reported this to police or not.
Okay, now listen closely to this next part.
After that door banging situation, she says he started to park outside her house and just stare.
She said he did this at the same time every day for several weeks.
And here's the part I'm talking about.
She said, quote, that's when he started getting creepy, end quote.
As if nothing before that was creepy at all.
Because according to Angela, the creepy part was just when he got out of his car and stared for up to half an hour.
I mean, to be fair...
That is comment-worthy creepy right there, but...
Oh, it is.
Yeah, I mean, obviously all the rest of the stuff, too, but...
Yeah. That's where you gotta draw the line, though.
But what does it become when, instead of just getting out of the car and staring, he walks to your yard and stops there and starts staring?
What is that?
Is that more than creepy?
Concerning? Yeah.
Frightening? That's just a little bit...
A little bit too much.
Nightmarish? The next thing you know, he's just looking through your window at you?
Yeah. He's just in your kitchen, cooking a meal.
His head is through the window.
And that's when it started getting creepy.
Yeah. Alright, point taken.
And she says she was living in fear, of course.
Yes. So finally, she and her husband would leave the community and sell their house to another couple six years before Gabriel's attack.
According to his common-law wife, Lisa Banfield, It looked like Gabriel was preparing for the end of the world as he accumulated cash, guns, and stocks of food.
She said that he was growing increasingly worried about the worldwide coronavirus scare tactic orchestrated by the WHO and other various governmental shill agencies.
Fauci! Fauci!
Lisa would state that he began talking about death a lot and said that he knew he was going to die.
But she said that the attack he would soon carry out was not even a thought of what he would be capable of doing in her mind.
It would come out that he, in fact, had been collecting firearms for a number of years.
One witness would say that they were at a gun show together in April of 2019 in Maine, and they were right there when Gabriel had asked someone else, whose name is protected, to quote-unquote, do him a favor and go get that AR rifle, which he then gave $1,250 to this unnamed person for.
Obviously, Gabriel did not want his own name associated with the rifle, which was the pattern he had with most of the weapons he had.
And apparently he didn't have a license to own or possess a firearm to begin with.
When everything was over and Gabriel was riddled with bullets by police in the final car he stole, the authorities would find a total of five firearms in the car.
One of these belonged to Constable Heidi Stevenson, but we'll get to her later.
The other four were illegally possessed by Gabriel and used in the attacks.
There were two handguns, a.40 caliber Glock 23 and a 9mm Ruger P89.
And two semi-automatic rifles, a Colt AR-15 and a Ruger Mini-14.
A friend of Gabriel's who lived in Holton, Maine in the US, Sean Conlow, later told the RCMP that he had given Gabriel the Ruger P89 as payment for work he did at Sean's house, because Gabriel would not accept cash.
The Glock 23 also belonged to Sean, but he said Gabriel must have stolen it because he didn't even know it was missing until he checked on it after the massacre.
The AR-15 is the rifle Gabriel had someone else purchase for him at a gun show in Holton.
Fun fact here, the person who buys a firearm for someone else so that the person wanting the firearm can keep their name away from registration is called a Strawman.
Oh, isn't there a movie called Strawman?
Yeah, I think so.
I don't know if the premise...
Yeah, it's like a well-famous movie.
Is the premise about gun buying?
It's gotta be.
Must be.
Gun smuggling.
More on that, more on that.
Yeah, we'll get to you guys later on that one.
Sean denies being that straw man, of course, and according to court documents, the gun came from an unnamed person who sold the gun to a well-dressed older man who had a main license and an address that he thought was in Holton.
It's obvious how he obtained the rifle, but U.S. authorities decided not to press any charges because of their so-called lack of resources.
The Canadian authorities were able to trace three of the weapons back to Holton, Maine in the United States, which made them so, so happy.
That they almost lost their butter tarts.
Oh no, hold on now.
Nobody needs to be going and losing their precious little butter tarts now.
You gotta keep those butter tarts together and eat little glistening rows of goodness up there.
Oh yeah.
God forbid the king hear about this one now.
Oh boy.
Hey, did you hear about the news, buddy?
Can't say I have, buddy.
Oh well, apparently the king sure does love his dildo.
Oh, that's the news you're talking about.
Yeah, buddy.
You bet your favorite set of Arctic hair snowshoes have heard that news, buddy.
And I gotta say, I can't blame the guy neither.
You and me both, buddy.
You and me both.
Anyway, getting back on track here.
While the Canadian authorities were celebrating their victory over a few double-doubles and 10-bits, one woman on the U.S. side of the border was a bit of a sourpuss about it, and not because she wasn't invited for the double-doubles and 10-bits.
A councilwoman of Holton, Maine, Eileen McLaughlin, Oh, fantastic.
Really great.
It's exactly what people of Holton want to frequently see as they go about their day.
Just tons of Border Patrol agents everywhere.
Running the registers, stocking shelves, doing your nails, pumping your gas, delivering the mail, milking the cows.
Doing some cheerleading practice and who knows what else.
And Eileen had more to say.
People want to blame somebody.
They want to blame a place, an organization.
They want to say, oh, he brought arms over from Holton.
It's a reputation that just isn't fair for a community that works really hard at enforcing laws.
Oh, all right, Eileen.
Relax, lady.
Yeah, talk about putting your panties in a twist, am I right?
There's a good chance she doesn't wear them, man.
Oh, hide your kids, hide your dogs.
Back to the guns.
The Ruger Mini-14 came from a former Canadian lawyer and a friend of Gabriel's, Tom Evans.
Tom had passed away and after his death, Gabriel is reported to have gone to the executor of Evans' estate to get the gun, which was either given to him by the executor or he should have stole it from the house.
Wouldn't put it past him.
Okay, so those are the only guns involved reported by the media.
Now let's get into Gabriel's collection of police memorabilia and equipment, which included four decommissioned police cruisers that he purchased through police auctions and at least an entire police uniform with several other items of clothing.
In their investigation, the police found that Gabriel had searched online for a number of police items such as police paraphernalia, kits, RCMP radios, front push bumpers, plexiglass dividers, decals, logos, RCMP outerwear, patrol jackets, and a number of other telling searches.
Oh, that's so much police stuff.
Yeah. Just, like, searching online.
Nothing but police stuff.
Nothing but police stuff at all.
That's so crazy, dude.
The police did say, though, that nothing found on Gabriel or anything used in his attack was actually linked to any of those online searches, which, I mean, could be hard to track.
That's interesting.
Yeah, that's interesting.
And the car that he used in the attack was a 2017 Ford Taurus that he purchased in 2019 from an auction.
He completely refurbished it and made it look exactly like a working police cruiser, complete with a light bar on top that he purchased online.
He also carefully placed every decal exactly where it needed to be.
I mean, this thing was impeccable to the untrained eye.
Probably even most to the trained eye.
And for the decals, he had this guy he knew who worked at a sign and print shop in Truro, Peter Griffin.
Pow, right in the kisser.
Power and the kisser!
Power and the kisser!
You know one episode that's always stuck with me?
Power and the kisser!
That's always stuck with me on that show?
What? It's the episode where Lois and Peter are in bed and the lights are out because they're about to go at it.
And then they go at it and Peter comes and then Lois is like, Oh, good for you, Peter.
She's just like stoked for him.
Just the way she says it, she's like, oh, good for you.
Oh, man.
Alright, so who's this Peter Griffin guy?
I couldn't find whether he and Gabriel were good friends or not, but what I could find was that Peter was working on Gabriel's property during the lockdown, and it's apparent that the two were regularly meeting in person and communicating by text, email, and calls, at least in the nine months preceding the attack.
Peter had been living in Portapique while on parole for drug trafficking that was linked to organized crime involving La Familia, the Mexican drug cartel that runs international.
Peter was arrested in Edmonton, Canada, beautiful place, where the police found 4 kilos of cocaine, 2.6 kilos of MDMA, two.22 caliber rifles, and $30,000 in cold, hard Canadian.
Cash? That's a lot of loonies and toonies.
Yeah, I was thinking, cash or is it in coins?
Coin load.
$30,000 coins.
He was paroled in 2018, and in 2019, he had agreed to make and place the decals that Gabriel wanted.
And oh my god, Scott, listen to this.
He would even do so without his boss's knowledge at the print and sign shop.
Oh, what a rebel, what a rebel.
He might get fired for that one.
He might.
At any rate, Peter agreed to help him with the decals, and after that, Gabriel had a complete, fully operable replica police cruiser.
And he was damn proud of it.
He was sending texts and emails to Lisa Banfield telling her how awesome it felt to drive it.
And she even responded that he looked like a cop and that he needed to dress the part.
So, yeah, some people are saying that this is proof of her involvement.
Others are saying it was just some lapsus ligue.
Some what, Goy?
What the hell is this?
You know, some Spoonerisms.
Well, I don't know about you and your Spoonerisms, but I reckon you can keep those to yourself.
Spoonerism, man.
Slip up the tongue.
Spoonerism, Spoojerism.
Whatever it is, keep it to yourself, bro.
Keep it away from me.
Slip. Of the tongue.
Yeah, I bet it was.
Of course, in the aftermath of all of this, Peter would be questioned at length of his involvement.
Initially, he denied having any knowledge of the decals or anything to do with Gabriel Wortman, but over time, through the rough and tough good cop, bad cop treatment, the Canadian version...
And what's that look like?
Well, I'll tell you.
The good cop brings you the finest poutine you've ever seen, sits it in front of you to eat, and then the bad cop is like...
Oh, no, no, no, monsieur.
This is not for you, you silly criminal.
This, oh, the most perfect poutine is for me.
And then he eats it.
Instead, just like right there in front of you.
Because, man, that would crack someone instantly, I'm telling you.
I would have cracked sooner than you would have said.
I don't even know.
I would have cracked like a cold cow pie out in the field.
Yeah, I don't know what I meant, honestly.
Canadians just do things better, I guess.
But it would be found that Peter had violated his parole for initially lying and also theft of the decal material, and he was promptly sent back to prison.
And so, that will give us a solid backdrop on who Gabriel Wartman was.
And some of the shit he was up to in the years and months leading up to his horrific attack.
It is also where we are going to end today's episode, and next week, we will finish this out with details of his attack and some theories behind the whole thing, including who Gabriel may really have been, or may not have been.
Oh, yeah, love a little mystery and a little intrigue.
Love it, love it.
No, it's going to be really graphic and brutal.
This one is just like, you know, a little lead-up to what's going on, and next week's episode's gonna have all the goody-juicy stuff.
That's where we pull the trigger, so to speak.
Yeah. And we mean this in the most positive, good way.
Yeah. Not violent at all.
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But you guys, guys and gals...
The best way to get the Paranautica podcast out there is by word of mouth and doing other quirky things such as, oh, I don't know.
Go to the bank and walk up to the teller with a note.
Hand the teller said note.
Make sure to look extra shady as you're standing up there, of course.
You gotta look over your shoulder a lot.
Then just wait as she reads it because, you know, what she's reading is a note that says, don't cause a panic, but you need to act fast.
Leave the money where it is.
Yeah. But announce to everyone that they need to listen to the Paranautica podcast immediately, or else, well, nothing will happen, but just please tell everyone.
Yeah, I mean, that's a good one to go do, people.
Go out and do that.
You can also go around getting really close to people as you walk around town or whatever, and instead of pickpocketing them, just put little notes into their pockets and tell them to listen to the podcast.
And as you're doing that, just give their hair a quick smell and very loudly go, Yes, and look at them with wide eyes.
