FaceTime or Ask Patrick any questions on https://minnect.com/
PBD Podcast Episode 136. Patrick Bet-David is joined by Adam Sosnick along with Life & Wellness instructors Fresh and Fit.
Fresh & Fit: Myron Gains and Walter Weekes host a men's podcast where they provide insight on relationships, fitness, and, finances. Check out their podcast here: https://bit.ly/3JvOjeJ
Follow Felix on Instagram: https://bit.ly/3D3Qm7u
Subscribe to Fresh & Fit's YouTube Page: https://bit.ly/3JvOjeJ
Support Fresh And Fit on Patreon: https://bit.ly/3ulMLOa
Follow Fresh and Fit on Instagram: https://bit.ly/36C5oFI
Follow Walter on Instagram: https://bit.ly/3qptkmy
Follow Myron on Instagram: https://bit.ly/3Nea6tO
To reach the Valuetainment team you can email: booking@valuetainment.com
Download the podcasts on all your favorite platforms https://bit.ly/3sFAW4N
Text: PODCAST to 310.340.1132 to get added to the distribution list
About:
Patrick Bet-David is the founder and CEO of Valuetainment Media. He is the author of the #1 Wall Street Journal bestseller Your Next Five Moves (Simon & Schuster) and a father of 2 boys and 2 girls. He currently resides in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
About Co-Host:
Adam “Sos” Sosnick has lived a true rags to riches story. He hasn’t always been an authority on money. Connect with him on his weekly SOSCAST here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLw4s_zB_R7I0VW88nOW4PJkyREjT7rJic
0:00 - Start
1:42 - Fresh & Fit background
11:19 - Where 'Fresh & Fit' got their philosophy
15:47 - Fresh & Fit controversial points
18:21 - Will Fresh & Fit ever get married
30:17 - The influence of your parents
42:08 - What is the code of conduct for men vs. women
49:39 - The problem with feminism
59:34 - If you want options, increase your market value
1:05:31 - How Tinder has changed the dating game
1:23:06 - Fresh & Fit advice for their daughters
1:33:31 - Fresh was going to be a pastor
1:34:35 - Men are bad
So we're officially live with Fresh and Fit today, our special guest, okay, Fresh and Myron.
And if you're not following their podcast, they're absolutely growing, getting big, you know, just making a lot of noise, pissing a lot of people off, which is good.
And controversy, some people swear by their philosophy, some people go after them.
But regardless, we're going to have a good time today.
To my right, we have Adam Sausnick here, and to his right, we have the legendary white knight, white claw warrior.
Okay.
AKA, future mayor of Austin, aka a friend of mine when I was in the Army 25 years ago.
We were stationed at Fort Campbell, Kentucky together from 97 to 99.
If you follow the podcast, you've heard him call in and tell some stories about his 20 years in the military.
And FYI, here's one thing everybody needs to know.
I'm married, happily, four kids, 12 and a half years, married.
Felix is married.
How many kids you got, Felix?
I have three boys.
Three boys.
And Adam, happily single, but somewhat undecided.
And you guys are definitely single.
Yes or no?
Yes.
That's an understatement.
Changed by the day, but living life.
Okay.
However, there's one thing you guys got to know about Felix.
To manage expectations here, if Felix was 28 today, he would probably have a Fresh and Fit podcast.
Absolutely.
He had a reputation.
I don't know if we're going to get into those stories or not.
But why don't we do this?
Today's about you guys.
Appreciate you guys for coming out.
If you don't mind taking a moment and maybe tell your background, tell everybody about your podcast, and then we'll get right into it.
Yeah, you want to go first?
You go first.
Me first?
Let's go.
Look at that.
Rock, papers, just to see you guys.
Often it never duplicated.
Go ahead.
Yeah, so they called me Fresh from the Fresh and Fit Podcast.
I'm 29 years old.
I used to be in tech.
I used to do programming and coding as well.
And basically, I used to do YouTube prank videos.
So I started doing videos on YouTube, like Go Digger Pranks, all these prank videos, stuff like that.
And I did an interview with a friend of ours, and he connected us together.
He spoke on an hour-long phone call regarding dating, lifestyle, money, success.
And he said, hey, you know what?
Let's do a podcast.
You guys had never met prior to this.
Never met before.
And this is how long ago, by the way, this is probably like, you're not.
Yeah, going on almost two years now.
So you guys have only known each other less than two years.
Yeah.
Wow.
We met through another YouTuber.
Shout out to our guy, SoloTV84.
He linked this up together.
God.
All right.
As you were.
Well.
Yeah.
And then we spoke for an hour, had similar mindset.
And we did the first podcast.
It did pretty well, you know.
We did one a week and then two a week, then three a week, and it became what you know today, Fresh and Fit.
And then our after-hour show, we went on a double date late night, and we were like lit.
We were like, oh, you know what?
We're in the studio, two girls.
Let's do a late night podcast with some girls.
And surprisingly, it blew up from there and started the after-hour special that we have today.
The one time we were like lit, because me and Fresh don't really drink, but on this night we were drinking and Fresh was like, bro, you know what?
He's like looking at me like all like blinking like this.
That's how he really saw us.
He's like, we should go live right now.
And I was like, what?
I was like, bro, we don't have our producer here because he likes the one that switched the cameras around everything.
We're just us.
He was like, let's just do it, man.
I was like, all right, fuck it.
All right, I guess we'll do it.
All right, whatever.
So we did it, and people really enjoyed it.
And then we just kept going.
And this is back, I think, January of 2021, because we started the podcast October of 2020.
And then we did that first episode with girls, January of 2021.
And then, yeah, with girls.
And then that's what people kind of like, like, that's what made the channel grow really fast.
And then from there, people came for the girls, right?
They came for the tips in the ass, and they came.
Then they stayed for us after.
So, you know, people have been like, they'll come in, watch the girls.
They're like, oh, wait, you guys have content on like making money and, you know, also like getting girls and how to be a better man in general.
Cool.
Let me stay around for this stuff.
And, you know, are you saying that people tune in because they like hot chicks that talk about drama?
Hold on.
What?
Apparently so.
I didn't know.
Yeah, I didn't know.
This has been hidden in YouTube formula for years.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
But Myron, what did you do before doing this?
So Myron Gaines, 32 years old.
I was a former special agent with Homeland Security Investigations, HSI.
And I did criminal investigations from 20, I came on as an intern in 2010.
I became an agent in 2013.
I resigned in 2020 of December because basically, like, you know, my YouTube, they're like, hey, bro, you got to chill.
What are you doing here?
And I was like, they were telling you that.
Yeah, they brought me in and they were like, hey, like, you know, you got to chill with this YouTube, whatever.
Because at that point, we had like 10K and then we're starting to build some traction.
And I kind of had to make a tough decision.
Am I going to resign from the government, a job that I really did love and enjoy?
Or am I going to pursue this entrepreneurial venture?
And I decided to go with the latter because, you know, I had people depending on me.
Fresh was getting ready to quit his job.
We had a guy, our YouTube guy was moving from Chicago to Miami.
So I was like, I can't just tell him, oh, go back, bro, go pack back up.
So I was like, you know what?
I'll resign if it doesn't work out.
I can always go back to the government.
But it was a great career.
I have nothing bad to say.
I loved it.
I actually started a YouTube channel where I break down cases, big celebrity cases, everything like that.
Yeah, it's called Fed 1811.
I did the Boston Marathon bombing.
I did the Rollo drug trafficking case.
And I break it down.
I actually read the court documents and go through it and give people a different perspective from a former agent's perspective.
Because I used to do these cases myself.
So I'm able to give a little bit of insight.
But yeah, that's what I did before.
And then I started the YouTube channel.
FreshFit was originally unplugged fitness.
It was like a fitness channel.
And then we started talking about dating.
We started talking or whatever.
And then we noticed, hey, we have similar mindsets.
We're both womenized.
Let's do a channel.
And then let's go to a podcast.
And then we started doing a podcast.
We really enjoyed it.
We talked about dating tips and how to get girls and everything because we're in Miami, both pretty good with the ladies.
But we figured it out.
We weren't naturals.
You know, a lot of people say, oh, look at these two alpha males.
Actually, no, we never talk about being alpha males.
We're nerds.
We were guys that were nerds that just figured it out.
So who were you in high school?
Both of you guys.
Who were you in high school?
Like 10th grade, 11th grade?
Who were you in high school?
Man, well, I'm from Barbados, right?
So I'm an island boy, coconuts, you know, in the wind on the beach.
But I'd be inside for the most part, playing video games, like, you know, online games, Smash Brothers, Myra Cart, good friends.
And that was my life, man.
And then what happened was over time, started to get into like more partying, more like lifestyle.
In high school.
Yeah, okay.
And then after that, it's when I went to like, this area in Barbados called the Gap, right?
It's like the tourist area.
And every day, there's different girls from like Canada, you know, UK, from all over Germany, whatever, right?
So I'm like, yo, these girls are pretty hot.
I started dating those girls that were tourists.
And then it opened up my mindset.
You know what?
There's more to life than just being on a small island.
I can go to the States, whatever.
I said, you know what?
I made a goal.
At least in the next five years, I want to move to America.
And so said, so done.
I came to America.
You know, made my own way, worked at Chick-fil-A basically, and HTTP taking phone calls, tech support.
And now we're here today at the biggest podcast in Miami, Freshman Fit.
So for me, I was a big nerd, man.
Like, I didn't lose my Virginia until I was 18.
Like, I played Yu-Gi-Oh! cards growing up, Pokemon, video games, all that stuff.
Like, you know, I just was a guy that kind of like figured it out and through a lot of trial and error, you know.
And when I hit like senior year high school, that's when I started to figure out girls.
I read The Mystery Method, you know, and obviously the game.
These are books I think a lot of guys start out with.
It shows like figuring out how girls operate and think.
I also saw the pickup artist, which brought me, which was what like brought back in 2007 on VH1.
That's like kind of brought me into this whole arena.
I was like, oh, wow, this is crazy stuff.
And it was like groundbreaking stuff that I had not known.
Like, you got net girls, all this other stuff.
And, you know, people talk about PUAs and make fun of them or whatever.
But a lot of the stuff that they say is legit and it plays on female psyche to put you in a position of advantage to be more attractive.
So I read that stuff, was fascinated.
Then I went off to college.
I was went to Northeast University in Boston.
I was a D1 athlete.
I rode.
And, you know, I started understanding the importance of social hierarchies and being on a team or having some kind of social status on campus is very important.
And then once I got out of college, I was like, okay, well, now I don't have the social status like that anymore.
What am I going to do?
And that's when I kind of had to relearn everything as far as operating it in the real world.
And then I went off to Texas.
That's where I was doing my career.
I spent several years just like working, you know, season drugs and season legal firearms, all that stuff.
And then it wasn't until I came back to Miami.
I came to the Miami Field office at 28, and that's when I really started dialing in on trying to learn how to do cold approach again, learning how to get really good women again.
And then, you know, at that point, I think we had met when I was like 29 or 30.
And I was like, you know, pretty much at that point doing really well with ladies.
And you're in the scene at that time.
Yeah, I was at the scene because when I was in Texas, people don't, I was in Laredo, Texas, which for those that don't know, it's on the Mexican border.
There's nothing there.
You know what I'm saying?
No, like absolutely nothing there.
It's a small.
He would love it over there.
That's Tyler's area.
Join in on that.
But I loved it, man.
I loved living in Texas.
I love the radar.
It's like a little part of me is still there.
But when I was there, I was really focused on working.
And then the other thing, too, is a small town.
So you'd arrest someone and everyone was connected in some way.
So I just didn't go out into the bars like that, whatever.
And you stick out like a sore thumb because as someone who's not Mexican, you know, me, I'm 6'3.
My parents are from Sudan.
I have a weird look.
Like, you don't forget me, right?
So you'll see me in Corby, like, what the hell?
I know what you do.
So I just stayed inside most of the time playing video games, being a loser.
And then when I came to Miami, I started getting back out there, getting back in the dating game.
And, you know, I applied some of the principles I had learned from college, then from reading, and then trial and error, figured it out.
Then by the time me and him linked up, we were full-fledged womanizers.
We were figuring it out.
But like, people try to say, oh, y'all run around and say your alpha males, whatever.
It's like, no, actually, we're the opposite of that.
We just, we're just two guys that figured it out.
That makes a lot of sense.
I mean, I kind of hear a story.
He said, you know, hey, I was a nerd.
I was a nerd too.
I think this might be a nerd convention.
For sure.
Revenge the nerds.
Yeah, exactly.
Great movie, by the way.
You know, kind of the thing is, you talk about, you know, you kind of grew up and you had this perception that we're giving.
I grew up Catholic, Roman Catholic, went to a private school, played on the chess team, you know, kind of those same things.
You play in video games.
You know, we used to play Nintendo back in the day.
I don't know if that was kind of dating myself, you know, PS1, those type of things.
Anyway, one of the things you kind of mentioned too, as well, you know, kind of coming to your own, you know, I kind of laugh.
One of my first kind of experiences was when I was in Germany in 1991, April 1st, 1993.
I never forgot the date.
The guy's like, hey, we just got our paycheck.
Patrick knows this type of stuff.
If it's payday, you got your ballot, right?
On payday.
Hey, Felix, you're new to Germany because I just arrived there in February of 1993.
He said, let's go down to the Red Light District in Frankfurt.
I'm like, the Red Light District?
What's that all about, man?
Trust me, just come and hop in the car.
We're going to school you.
I don't know if you've been to the Red Light District.
You've heard those stories.
I don't need to go into too much detail because my wife will be divorcing me.
And she'll probably have me checked out.
You have the right to remain silent.
You can say Canon Mumias.
Exactly.
So, kind of like what Fresh was saying, you know, kind of I had this view of the world.
And of course, you know, that's really fine.
But when you kind of get out there, when I was in Germany, I was in Saxonhausen.
I'm in the Red Light District.
It's just completely different.
If you've ever been, I'm not saying to go, but if you've ever been, it is absolutely insane.
It's like going into a hotel and just picking a flavor, right?
You just go in there and you negotiate a price and they got the black lights, they got the music, they bring you in, they do the whole make sure you're clean type stuff.
And these people, they have to get tested and stuff.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
I only went one time, though.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
So, but going back, so for you guys, your philosophy, because the philosophy with women, with men, with dating, with marriage, with kids, with money, with finance, with health.
Everything is inspired through certain things.
You talk about the mystery, you talk about the pickup artist, the book, the game, all of that.
And then, you know, what you did in college when you kind of learned a little bit about the game three years ago, you come to Miami, you're learning.
Who had the biggest influence on your philosophy?
And what is really the core foundation of your philosophy?
You know, shout out to our guy, Rolo Tomasa, man, good friend of ours.
The Rational Male obviously was a great book.
It, you know, connected a lot of dots for me personally.
And then, you know, because the thing is with, you know, the mystery method, fantastic book, gives you a great insight as to how female psychology works when it comes to attraction and what they're aroused by.
But, you know, a lot of the techniques in that book are a bit dated.
You know, we're talking about using can openers, doing cold approaches in the club and bar.
You know, we live.
I mean, that phone came out.
I'm sorry.
Well, that book came out in the early, earlier 2000s before cell phones and everything else like that.
So the game has obviously changed, but the fundamentals are still the same when it comes to what is attractive to women.
So basically, from taking that knowledge, from taking the red pillow awareness, from reading, obviously, like the rationale, whatever, it connected a lot of dots for me that I already knew.
And it kind of put things in perspective.
But we kind of have our own strategy on how we deal with things because times have changed.
Dating marketplace has changed significantly versus 20 years ago, thanks to the smartphone and technology and everything else like that.
So we kind of have a different spin on how we operate and how we deal with women in general with the modern day marketplace.
But yeah.
Yeah, me personally regarding my influence would be experienced because I watch and I learn.
So I ask questions.
So I'll see people like, how do you get this girl?
How's he having this car?
How's he having this lifestyle?
Ask questions.
And from there, I apply it to myself and I learn from experience.
And also as well, John is the best.
But what are the core foundations?
So give me an idea what some of your philosophies are.
So the biggest thing that I tell guys is you got to put yourself first, right?
Like you got to put like your mission first.
Because if you put women first, a lot of guys are more concerned with could we swear?
I don't know if I'm sure.
Okay, okay.
A lot of guys are more concerned with chasing ass versus like, you know, chasing success.
And yeah, that's great.
You know, obviously, you know, you got to play the volume game, talk to a lot of girls, whatever.
But the problem is that your retention level is not going to be that high when you don't have your stuff together.
You know what I'm saying?
If you really want to be like the best man that you can be, you want to be the best man that you can be and then have women be a byproduct of it versus chasing the women.
And like, yeah, you'll get a lot of girls from going out and cold approaching all day and all that other stuff.
But are you going to be able to retain them and most importantly, get them to respect you?
And what I've learned from dealing with, you know, at this point, we've interviewed like a thousand girls on our show.
Respect is a foundation.
And that respect doesn't come unless you're, I always say, competence leads to accomplishments, which leads to confidence.
And then that confidence is what the girl respects because you've already built a foundation upon from that confidence.
That confidence comes out of thin air.
You know, girls say all the time, I want confidence.
I want confidence.
Translation and womanies.
I want someone that's established and able to assert his will on the world.
And I want to be able to follow that man's lead.
And that comes from your success.
Say those three things again.
Confidence.
So you got competence leads to accomplishments, which then leads to confidence.
And that's what the girls are attracted to, is that confidence.
But that confidence has got to be genuine.
That's why we tell guys all the time, you got to be congruent to who you are.
Because if you're congruent to who you are, girls are going to be able to notice it.
Women have way more better perception of social calibration than men do.
So they're going to be able to tell if you're about it or not.
You can play the game for a bit, but if you're cat, eventually they're going to figure it out.
So if you're really about it and you're that guy, she's going to be attracted to you because you have that confidence from your accomplishments.
So that's what we tell guys is focus on yourself because it's inherently going to make you attractive in the first place.
And then second, on top of that, you're going to be winning.
And then women are a byproduct of that success versus chasing the women and making them the metric of success.
So far, what's controversial so far?
So we haven't gotten that.
Yeah, okay.
So where do people, because what you just said is you have, you have two choices, right?
You have a choice to date women through desperation, which is what a lot of guys do.
Yeah.
Or you have a way to manage expectation by setting the tone on what kind of value you bring to the marketplace.
Then your pool and your options widens.
That's just how it works, right?
Okay.
Same thing works with business as well.
If your business is predicated based on one client, you are screwed.
You're slave to that one client.
But if your business is you have multiple options, you have, you know, you can have a little bit more leverage and you actually offer better customer service when you are because you're not leading that customer based on desperation.
You're not begging them.
They feel confidence from you.
But where are some of the philosophies you guys got where you lose people?
Not maybe you lose people, but you get some people triggered.
I sense not cheating.
What that really means, what loyalty is, what trust is.
Yeah.
You want to go into detail about that?
Yeah, I mean, so a big reason why people get triggered is that we have a lot of, as you guys know, we do a podcast.
We have a daytime podcast that we do Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and then we do our nighttime show with the girls.
And what, since it's longer form content, we have a podcast goes easily between from two all the way to five hours sometimes.
And, you know, we have discussions with women.
You know, a lot of girls from all different types of walks in life.
We're talking everywhere from like educated women to OnlyFans girls to strippers to models, whatever it may be.
Attractive girls to not so attractive girls, girls in all different types of demographics.
And people take clips from these conversations and they take obviously something that's like crazy of that.
I say, you know, put it as a clip and then put it out there.
And if you put it out there, it might look wild, right?
So then people, oh my God, you guys are misogynists, whatever.
But if you saw the entire context of the conversation, what led to that, you know, portion or that clip, you'll see, okay, now that makes sense.
So a lot of people clip our stuff in general.
Or like, for instance, for virality.
Sometimes you'll kick a girl out.
Yes.
That's it.
And like, obviously people want to focus on the fact that, all right, get the hell out.
But what were the five minutes before that?
You've asked them repeatedly, hey, stop disrespecting the podcast.
Stop doing side chatter.
I've been there.
I've been on the podcast.
I've seen what's going on.
Well, let me, let me, let me.
Okay, so let's go a little bit deeper.
Let's go a little bit deeper because so far, I don't have a lot of things that I have.
Everything makes sense so far to me.
Define to me how you view what an alpha is and what a beta is, right?
I heard Rolla's definition.
Maybe you guys got a different one that you have.
But how do you see, what would you define as somebody that's an alpha versus a beta?
Man, these two terms, man.
Yeah, we typically don't even really use those terms, man.
I know a lot of people use it from a placeholder standpoint.
Like you'll say, what'd you call him?
You said something about the white knight.
Who are you talking about, by the way?
David and the bad.
Tyler So, it's funny.
One of our supporters sent us a clip, right?
Yeah.
Of him talking about us.
And it's funny because they're like, yo, this white knight, this simp is trying to talk about Fresh and Fit, but he's a simp.
And it's like, yo, Rota, I don't know the dude, but how he sounded?
It's kind of, I don't know.
I don't know.
So a simp, basically, if I'm going to define it, is basically a guy that gives his attention, resources, energy, whatever it may be to a woman that isn't necessarily reciprocating for what he wants, which is what?
Nine out of ten times intimacy.
So that's, if I'm going to boil it down, that's a simple one.
I will say that David is not a simple.
For the audience out there, he's actually a simple dude.
He is maybe a white knight, but not a simp.
What's your long-term game?
Meaning, do you guys have any plans of one day getting married, having a family, having kids?
Oh, no.
Okay, so there we go.
So not at all.
Well, you can hit it first.
So we have different views on that.
So honestly speaking, in the West, in our opinion, marriage for men, there's no benefit at all.
It's meaning for women.
And as a result, most guys, they come into it bluntly.
Hey, this girl loves me, likes me for me, wink, wink.
And, you know, they get into marriage with this woman.
And before you knew it, she's leaving because her emotions taking half of whatever you own and you're back to square one or even worse.
So in our opinion, regarding marriage, like you have to know what you're getting into first and be aware of all the laws against men, because if you look at it from a legal standpoint, like a logical standpoint, regarding the actual contract of marriage, it's like a contract that says, hey, you know what?
At any point in time, the woman says, I don't feel like anymore, she just leave, take half your stuff.
And as a result, men are like either left to the whim of women or, for example, the mercy of them.
So we just say, hey, you know what?
If you're going to do it, probably do it without the state, maybe in church or outside the U.S. Because the laws are not made for men to actually win.
And I did it before in the past.
I'm actually married when I first came to the States.
And the whole experience, man, I'm not going to hold you.
It was good.
But also, I understood that, hey, you know what?
Right now, my life is not for me.
And I have to ask you.
So it could change.
So it could change one day.
Meaning one day we can wake up and we got a podcast from Fresh about how to keep your marriage together.
Whoa, I want to chew into that one.
17 keys to a healthy marriage from a former Playboy.
Zero views.
Zero interests.
I'll say this.
I'm open to change.
However, if I do get married again, it's probably going to be Colombia.
Colombia.
It's probably going to be Colombian.
Colombia.
In Colombia.
In Colombia.
Stay in Colombia.
Would you come here?
I'll come back.
Okay.
So you would get in the paperwork in Colombia, the regulations of Colombia.
Yes.
And why is that?
Because the laws.
Think about it.
What's the laws in Colombia?
It's lax.
I don't have to worry about teleport.
I don't have to worry about being divorced grape because at that point, I'm not going to be held under the U.S. standards.
And U.S. standards are not made out for men.
So can I use our word?
We use grapes.
Are you more concerned about the legal ramifications of getting married or actually the institution of marriage one woman?
Or is it a combination of both?
It's both.
I'll say this.
Let's be real here, though.
In the West, there's not a lot of quality leads, you would say, to want to marry.
Yeah.
Really?
In all of the West?
What do you mean?
In America and the Western Hemisphere?
You can find quality women?
You can find good women.
However, the likelihood is very slim for what we see nowadays.
Social media, what's going on?
The feminist movement is like, bro, they're Americanized.
Yeah, exactly.
But first of all, you ain't lying, though.
The feminist movement, I agree, but there's a big push for that about being equals.
I mean, somebody said something, David right now said something interesting about this whole story with the girl who tried to, the guy who was ranked 456 for men and goes and becomes a woman.
Apparently, transgender is ranked first.
And then he says that's another perfect sign that no matter women try to be men, they can't beat them.
But if men try to be woman, they beat them at their own game.
So that's what David said.
That's David's comments right there.
But the point is, you have a point about what direction it's going.
And it is a bit of the current society is also probably discouraging younger men of getting married because there's a lot of fears and concerns.
You want me to go build up my own wealth to eventually have somebody take it away from me?
That's a risk.
But also at the same time, I can address on that part is, you know, you can have a job.
You can be a 1099 realtor.
And a lot of guys just want to be one-man shows.
You can go be a realtor and you just sell homes, right?
I don't want to start a real estate company with another guy because I've heard a lot of horrible stories.
If you start a real estate company with another guy, one guy leaves, takes after, and done with his own.
That risk is in business.
That risk is in marriage.
That risk is in every single thing you ever do.
So you're right.
The risk is there 100%.
But there's also very good lawyers, if you have money, to have the right kind of pre-nuptial agreements, which I'm fully for it, if you got the right lawyers.
How about yourself?
Yeah, so my take on it is I definitely, so we believe in nuclear families and the institution of marriage.
We think it's a fantastic institution, to be honest with you, to raise children in the best light you need.
Nuclear families.
That is the backbone of any strong nation.
That's how the United States was built.
That is how superpowers were built was on the backs of nuclear families, right?
We know that statistically speaking, two-parent household is superior for child rearing, right?
However, since we, even though we know that marriage is a great institution for raising children and everything, we just don't agree with the way that it's done in the West in general.
The laws have not caught up to feminism.
It is not caught up to women making their own money.
It's not caught up to all the social climate that we have now, right?
So we know, you know, about half of marriages end in divorce.
We know 70 to 80% of those marriages are divorces are initiated by women.
We know that about 90% of alimony is paid for men to women.
So knowing these numbers, we tell guys, if you're going to get married, you need to get married in a way where you can kind of come in from a defensive standpoint to protect what you have.
Because quite honestly, when you get into a marriage, you're signing a contract with someone that is incentivized to break it and they will be rewarded for it, which is dangerous, right?
To get in under that premise.
So our thing is, if you can get married and not have the state be involved, that's the best way to do it.
So like we understand the importance of it, but we also acknowledge that, hey, there's a lot of dangerous situations here that can really mess you up from a financial standpoint if marriage doesn't work.
And it's a very, it's a crazy risk.
And if someone's willing to take it, I just want them to go in knowing what's going to happen if things don't work out and put yourself in a position, like you said, have the lawyers, go talk to a family attorney before you even think about walking down the aisle with a woman, get a good strong prenuptial agreement in place where you can have it updated every couple years, etc.
So if a guy takes these precautions and then somehow finds a way, whether it's going to Columbia, going to the Dominican Republic, whatever it may be, getting married where the state is not involved in your affair, so the woman isn't incentivized to break up with you and destroy you financially and/or the kids and use it as some kind of like leverage point.
I'm all for that because families are needed.
For sure.
That's a good argument.
Again, I don't see a challenge with that argument because if you're getting married and most people who get married, they believe in some kind of a higher power denomination, whether they're Jews, Catholics, Christian, Muslim, it doesn't matter.
So you want to get married by the church.
So why do I need the federal government to say that I'm married?
The only benefit would be what?
Tax benefits is what you get, which is some benefits that you get.
It's not a lot of tax benefits that you get.
So maybe is that it?
Is that the only benefit?
But you have to get tax deduction.
The argument of by the government is a very good argument.
So if I'm getting married by the church, that's why I'm getting married.
Why do I need to get married according to the government's laws?
Because you're going to lock me up.
I also understand that part as well, that argument.
But let's go a little bit deeper.
Okay, so.
And I will say this real quick, too, just to finish up.
And the reason why I say you need to be in this defensive position when you get into thinking about marriage or any type of association with a woman is because women, here's a problem.
And this is where I guess we can get a little bit controversial.
Women want traditional men, but they themselves are not traditional.
So what we're saying is that you're basically, a lot of the times, what guys do is like they get into a relationship with a girl.
They might not necessarily understand intersectional dynamics.
They don't understand how women think and operate, especially in today's day and age where women are more experienced sexually than ever before.
And they get into a relationship thinking it's going to be a Disney fairy tale.
And next thing they know, you know, the world flips upside down because they don't understand how women move today.
Things have changed significantly.
You know, women are no longer traditional.
However, a lot of guys come into a relationship thinking, I'm going to be traditional.
I'm going to be this guy.
I'm going to be the nice guy.
I'm going to be chivalrous, a gentleman, all whatever.
And that just doesn't work anymore.
Women have changed significantly, right?
They've been liberated.
They make more money than ever made before.
A lot of women in general, from what we've seen in our interviews, a lot of women don't respect most men.
Most girls look at the average guy and be like, 50K per year, 5'8, not good enough for me.
A lot of girls overestimate their sexual market value, as I was to say, as far as what they think they deserve when it comes to men.
And we've asked girls, right?
We've even done polls.
What do you consider yourself?
One out of 10.
Bro, if I had a dollar for every time a girl said 11, I'd be a billionaire at this point.
You know what I'm saying?
Girls tend to grossly overvalue themselves.
And we have a bunch of theories as to why that is.
But it's just not a good marriage market for most guys in today's day and age in the West.
So they need to go in with their eyes wide open and come in from a position of defense to protect their assets if they are going to get involved in a marriage because a lot of girls are not traditional anymore.
And you said that.
My question is: so you've now been in this market now, if we want to talk it right for what, a decade?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So like if this kind of to feed back with Patrick, we're the original Fresh and Fit from the 90s.
He's the Armenian.
And I'm the guy first podcast back in the day.
What would it have been called?
In the Army, what would the name of the podcast be?
You tell me, Patrick.
I would say it'd be, well, you would be the hustler.
That's for sure.
You'd be the hustler.
Felix was a guy that would go to pool.
Here's how it was: we go to Pool Hall.
Felix was the best pool player in what do you call it?
Fort Campbell, Kentucky.
The guy kicked everyone's ass.
He's Paul Newman.
He was Paul Newman.
Color of money.
Here's what he would do.
We'd go to a place where he's playing pool.
He's in a corner talking shit to like four or five guys, and then he would say, say something.
Say something.
Because that's my friend right there.
And I have no idea what's going on.
Four guys are looking at me.
So you would be the hustler.
I would say your next name would be the hustler.
That's what Walt does with Myron, by the way.
He talks all this shit.
But I want to go a little deeper with you.
Tell me about because philosophies come from different places, right?
One of them comes from parents.
Tell me about your mom and dad.
What is your mom's philosophy about what you're doing?
Dad, are they still together?
Give me that dynamic.
Yeah, so I came, my background is my parents are from Sudan.
They came here in the 1980s.
I grew up in a Muslim household.
I will admit I'm not the best Muslim, but I'm going to get there eventually, be a better one.
But yeah, I came from a two-parent household.
My parents are together to this day.
And it was actually my mom that warned me about Western women in general.
Like, hey, don't make sure you don't marry an American girl, blah, blah.
And I always wondered, like, mom, what's wrong with you?
Like, what are you talking about?
And then, like, as I became older, I started to see, she would always tell me things like, she ain't going to cook for you.
She ain't going to clean for you.
She's going to chase her career more than you.
She's not going to care about the kids.
She's going to put him in daycare.
You don't want that shit.
Blah, blah, blah.
In my head, I was like, bro, what's wrong with you?
Like, get out of here.
But as I became older and older, I was like, damn, okay, she ain't lying.
And it's a lot of the times you don't grow to appreciate your parents' advice until you get in a position where you can actually see it with your own two eyes.
And it wasn't until I was like in my late 20s and 30s that I was like, damn, my parents weren't lying.
And my mom had warned me about this, my aunt, my dad, you know, in general about how Western relationships are.
So and seeing how my parents operated as a kid growing up, you know, stable two-parent household.
We didn't grow up rich or anything like that, but my mom always made sure there was food in that, you know, there's food on the table.
And my dad worked and he's the main breadwinner.
So it was good to, you know, I'm really happy, especially nowadays with so many people talking about broken households.
Yeah.
You saw a good example.
Of what a marriage can be.
Would you consider yourself still a Muslim or no?
Yeah, yeah.
So you still are.
That's your faith.
That's your denomination.
I'm not the best one, but I'm going to.
Totally get it.
Haram?
Haram?
Non-practicing Christian.
Totally get it.
I'm a non-practicing Christian.
So here's what I would say.
But long term, you may, we may one day find you being married with kids.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Like, I would do it, but I would definitely take, like, my steps that I'm going to take are, I'm not going to lie, are probably pretty extreme of what I'm going to do, my strategy.
But, you know, that's just kind of where we are now.
Are you going to be married before 40?
I don't know about that.
Maybe a little bit later, but I plan to leave the United States to do that.
I'm probably going to go to Dubai, Saudi Arabia.
Is that what you mean by you're going to get somebody from your community, from Sudan?
Not Sudan, but like somewhere from the Middle East that has a Muslim background and everything.
Speak Arabic.
I tell you, so far to me, I get all the stuff.
But here's one thing I will tell you.
There's one thing I will tell you that I think we don't pay enough attention to.
So, okay, so I'm not the best Muslim, but I'm a Muslim, right?
Like for me, my parents were Christians, but I'm like, I'm an atheist.
There's no way in the world I believe in a God with what I've seen with bombs, people dying, blowing up, Iran, all disposed.
Like, there's no God.
You guys are, that's for naive people.
But fine.
If I say I'm a religion, I'm a Christian because the lineage is the parents, right?
Here's what you got to realize.
If your mom says what she said to him, that's the Bible.
Meaning, your mom becomes your God.
Let me unpack that a little bit.
And I may be wrong.
Just hear me out.
Yeah, sure.
If a mom says, be careful with these Western girls, be careful with this and be careful with that.
Be careful with that.
And the form of affirmation was like, not once.
She's probably told you that many, many times.
Affirmations work and then it sticks.
So for me, when I was my dad and my mom got a divorce.
So it's a slightly different story.
I don't know.
They got divorced twice.
They were like legit wanted to get a divorce, but they kept coming back because maybe this is going to work out.
But they finally got a divorce 20 years later.
And my dad is a similar philosophy to your mom.
So my dad and your mom are very similar.
Yeah.
Okay.
With what he says.
Don't waste your time with all these girls.
And let me tell you, all the girls lied and all the girls.
And you got to realize, my dad is my hero.
And I love my dad.
My dad's probably listening to this right now, cracking up what he's saying.
Same, say on my parents.
At the house, yeah.
So we got a great relationship together.
But one day he kept saying this, you know, women are this and women are that and women are this.
And relationship goes bad.
Relationship goes bad.
And I'm finally like, screw this.
I'm just going to go play and all this other stuff.
And I'm like 26, 27, 28.
And then we had a moment.
And here's what the moment was.
I started reading God knows how many books.
I'm devouring books left and right.
That became my like, if I'm not going to church, my books became my God.
At 25 years old, I eventually went to church and I, 25, 26, whatever it was, 2004 is when I kind of started putting my life a little bit more together, trying to live by some values.
But here's what happened.
One day, my dad and I had a moment.
I sat there and I said, okay, we give a little bit too much credibility to our parents to know everything, and they don't.
We give a little bit too much credibility to our mom and dad that they know it all.
And at one point, we have to question, like even my kids, they have to question some of my philosophies and say, Daddy, I don't know what the hell you're talking about when it comes down to XYZ.
Fine.
Question it, right?
So I sat there and I said, Do my parents love me?
Check.
Okay.
Do my parents, without them, there's no way I'll be in America.
I'm indebted to them for the rest of my life.
Check.
My parents' food.
Do I love it?
1 million percent check.
Do I enjoy their company?
Check.
And I went through all this thing.
Do they know how money works?
Hell to the no.
So that's an X, right?
Okay.
Do they know the 17 keys to marriage?
No.
Okay.
Do they know how to eliminate their in-laws from getting involved?
Hell no, because their in-laws were a little bit too involved and they kind of screwed the whole thing up.
Do they know the keys to how to find the right husband or wife?
No, because back in the days it was more deranged.
You know, hey, you made the, you know, you come and you know, kind of do that.
And then one day I come on, my dad's like, let me tell you, all girls are this.
I said, dad, stop.
And we had this.
He knows he knows the scene exactly.
He said, Dad, I don't want to hear it anymore.
I don't want to hear this anymore.
Don't pass down your limiting beliefs to me.
You got to stop.
That's your limiting belief.
Okay.
If that was your limiting belief and he had a bad marriage or a bad life, I don't want to hear about it.
That's yours.
I love my mom.
I love you.
But I don't want that to be me.
Do you want me to also go through the same life?
He said, no.
Then stop saying that to me.
So we had a very, and I'm underestimating what this was.
It was a very heated moment.
We didn't talk for a week, week later.
This is why my dad's my hero because he's able to do this.
He comes to me and my dad's an April 10 baby.
So he's like very much to himself, independent.
He doesn't rely on anybody else.
He's his own man.
And one day we're sitting there.
He just, it's quiet.
He says, you're right.
I said, what?
He says, you're right.
And my dad won't say that.
He says, you're right.
I said, what am I right with?
He says, you're right.
I've thought about it for a week.
You shouldn't let my fears pass down to you.
You're right.
And I'm like, holy freaking moly, right?
I got the chills all over my body because I love this man.
I love my mom.
I want to live a good life.
I want to one day give you grandkids.
But my dad also said the following thing, which is exactly, I can't say the whole thing, but he said, he said, listen, before you get married, date every single nationality.
Do it in every place you possibly can.
He would say, if you can do it in the phone booth, I said, that's not the 60s, get me.
He said, you know, you've made it when you've done it in the phone booth and, you know, playing all this other stuff he goes through.
Then when you get that out of your system, then it's a little bit more where you're not going to be sitting there saying, hey, you know, I kind of feel like I missed out.
Then later on, you're like, I kind of missed the party life.
I'm definitely not going to have a reputation.
I haven't missed a party life.
So that's the part.
So for your, for a mom to say that, I mean, in your religion, my religion, where we come from from the Middle East, Iran, mom is like, you know, for mom to say that.
So I fully understand that.
But I think there's a lot of depth in your philosophies.
I don't think you got to where you are right now accidentally.
Yeah, no.
Well, so going back to what you were saying there.
So like, no, 100%.
Like, you know, obviously you can't let your parents' viewpoints like shape your world without necessarily experiencing it.
But what I was saying was like when I was younger, I was like, I challenged it then.
I was like, well, what's wrong with you?
Like, what the hell?
Like, you know, but as I became older, I just saw it through my own natural experience.
What she said was true.
So it was a little bit more profound for me because I saw it through my own experiences.
Because at first, I was like, I don't know what to do with this.
It's got to be selective, though.
Could that be selective?
Could that be just accidentally?
I wish it was, man.
But it's, it's like.
But you're young, though.
You're 32 years old.
You're still young.
So here's the thing.
So at this point, we've interviewed well over a thousand girls.
And we've noticed that there's certain trends and certain mindsets, certain beliefs, certain type of, yeah.
And we always say, you know, just because the hardware is different does not necessarily mean the software is going to be different.
The software is almost always the same, but the hardware is different, right?
And what I mean by that is that in general, there's this belief system in first world countries, you know, where feminism is strong, where women think that they're equal to you a lot of the times.
They don't necessarily want to do certain duties that women used to do before.
In other words, your roles as a man are static.
You're expected to be masculine, the protector, the provider, et cetera, the leader, but her roles are negotiable.
She can pick and choose when she wants to cook.
She can pick and choose when she wants to be feminine.
She can pick and choose when she wants to be a lady.
And my thing is, you know, it wasn't until I became older that I realized it.
And then from interviewing all the girls that we do, going on dates, my anecdotal experience, and then in general, talking with, we also talk with thousands of men as well because we talk with both men and women.
If you ever watch our show, we get super chats and donations from all over the world.
And, you know, it's always English-speaking first world countries a lot of times, you know, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, whatever.
And all these guys are dealing with the same issues.
So I was like, damn, okay, so it's not just, you know, what my mom said.
It's like now I actually see it with my own two eyes from interviewing the girls from guys coming to us.
And it's just like it's been reconfirmed a million times over and over.
Now, is that to say that every girl is terrible in the West?
Don't marry them.
No, I'm not saying that.
But what I am saying is that there tends to be this very similar mindset when it comes to intersexual dynamics with a lot of modern day women that don't necessarily, that won't lead to a fruitful relationship if you don't know what you're doing.
I think, if anything, guys really got to be on their P's and Q's in today's day and age, more so than 20 years ago.
No, listen, in regards to that, I fully agree with you.
But I will also tell you this.
Listen, being in the investment world for 20 years, I don't know how many times I gave $100,000 to this deal, $50,000 to this deal, $200,000, and nothing happened.
And all of a sudden, one of them, boom, $28 million, boom, you get them and you're like, oh, shit.
So none of this stuff work.
You know, screw the entrepreneur.
The hell with the investment.
None of these guys are workers.
But you got to have a little bit of that.
So I think the part where, you know, in regards to the parents, when you're saying mom, dad, all that other stuff, they have, I watched this video with this guy on Wendy Williams.
He was in the movie Black Panther.
Who's the guy, one of the actors?
Very good actor.
Tyler, can you pull up Black Panther?
Not Chadwick Boseman.
Not the other guy.
Michael B. Jordan?
No, no, there was.
The guy from Creed?
Oh, man.
That's Michael B. Jordan.
No, not him.
There's another guy.
Let me see.
Can you go to the IMV?
Anyways, he's on Wendy.
Go to the top because the pictures are which one it is.
Man, I don't know who it was.
Anyways, a guy was on Wendy Williams.
And when he's telling Wendy Williams, when I tell you to make a sandwich, you make me a sandwich.
Who is that guy?
I forget his name.
Anyway, what a great back and forth.
When I tell you, woman, when I tell you to make me a sandwich, you make me a sandwich.
He's being dead serious.
To who?
There's a woman on the wall.
To Wendy Williams.
She says, when I tell you to make a sandwich, woman, you make me a sandwich.
Like, I'm not going to make you a sandwich.
Oh, okay, okay.
Let me get this straight.
So if we go out to dinner, do you expect me to open the door?
Yes.
When we go out there and take care of the bill, do you expect me to pay for it?
Yes.
So when we go out there and fight breaks out and somebody says something, do you expect me to go, I expect you to punch me in the face?
Well, then when I expect you to make me a sandwich, you make me a sandwich.
Do you agree with that?
I do.
I do.
When Jen and I went on our date and we did the 101 questions, I told Jen, what we went through this whole question together because I've done this exercise.
You're familiar with this book?
TV Andy Mackey.
The book.
That's the guy.
He crushed it when he gets.
He was in 8 miles.
I don't know if we can play it.
Don't play it.
Don't play.
This is something that people have to see.
But anyway, Jen and I go to, we go through the 101 questions and I say, look, what is your expectation of me?
Boom, Check, check, check.
No problem, no problem, no problem, no problem.
Here's what I expect from you.
I don't care if my wife is black.
I don't care if my wife is white.
I don't care if my wife is Hispanic, Filipino, whatever.
I expect her to know how to make Middle Eastern food because my mom and my dad are only going to be here for a while.
You got to make my favorite dish that I like.
And she's like, okay, I didn't have a lot of requests.
My requests were like three to five requests.
What were your requests?
I have the book.
I'll bring it one time.
We'll go through the requests that I had.
But I said, this is one of the things.
The number of kids I wanted to have, the role, the relationship, you got to have a support.
Anyways, I went through, but I said, I want the Middle Eastern, I want my wife to know how to cook Middle Eastern food because if the house smells like food, kids will stay home.
If it doesn't, kids will leave.
So, next date, she makes, she goes on Google, makes an Assyrian dish.
And I'm like, it was horrible.
I mean, it was the worst meal I had in my life.
But I sat there and I'm like eating the food just to say I'm eating the food.
And I told her, I said, babe, this is not good.
My mom and dad can make it a million times better, but I have so much respect for the fact that you didn't jump to and say, who am I?
I don't need to come.
I'm not kidding.
I'm like, you know what?
Hats off to you.
But I tell you, I can tell you 10 other stories where that wasn't the case.
Of course.
You're right.
Yeah.
I can't tell you with other women.
Yeah, we're like, I'm not going to do that for you.
We're going to go out there and do this.
No problem.
By the way, some people are listening to this and they'll say, well, I still don't cook.
And my husband cooks.
No problem.
That's part of your arrangement, not mine.
I'm not going to, in our house, I'm not the handyman.
So I'm not the handyman.
I'm not the guy.
You know, if you come to my house, and I asked Senator Tico the other day, we had a conversation.
It's like, Dad, you know, in school, we have the same name.
People think when I grow up, I have to be a businessman.
Like you said, no, you don't.
He says, well, why not?
I said, dude, you're going to be whoever you want to be.
I only want to see you do what you want to do.
I'm going to 100% support you on what you want to do.
As long as you're not breaking the law and as long as you're not hurting people, I got your back.
He says, okay.
He says, but no, that's not how it works.
I'm expected to be like, I said, no, you're not.
He says, so tell me why.
I said, let me ask you a question.
In the house, when toys break, how often do you guys come to me?
He says, Daddy, you have no clue how to fix toys.
I said, who do you go to?
Papa.
He fixes all the toys.
I said, I can never be a handyman like Papa.
I said, and I'm totally comfortable with that.
We all have a certain strength, meaning there is that understanding of what you expect from a girl that may be different than a handsome Felix's than yours.
Let me ask this question.
Yeah, sure, but it seems to me that your guys are defying.
You're finding common ground here.
There's not a lot that you've said that have been disagreeable.
Yes.
What are the code of conduct of the rules?
Like, for instance, I asked these questions on SASCAS and on the show that I host that you guys have been on.
Who pays on the first date?
Well, the man.
You know, if a fight breaks out, you want a man to protect you.
Okay.
Man, hold a door.
Chivalry.
What are the code of conduct that women need to abide by?
Do these things, like the sandwich example?
And what are the code of conduct that men need to bring to the table?
There seems to be that the men have to do this.
Bing, bing, bing, bing.
Make more money.
Do this.
Protect the household.
You know, bring home the bacon.
What are the code of conduct that men need to do?
And what is the code of conduct that women need to do?
And if there's an agreement here, I'd love to hear it.
Yeah, I mean, the biggest thing is that, you know, men have to always bring something to the table.
There is an invisible burden of performance on men to bring certain things to the table.
And in society, you know, applause it.
Yeah, man up, do this other stuff.
But if I say, hey, well, ladies, we need you to do this, this, and this, we get a lot of backlash for that.
In other words, what men want is typically almost always demonized, whereas what women want is considered preferences.
But what we want is considered discrimination.
So if I was to say, for example, I don't want to date no fat hoes.
Oh my God, that is so fat-shaming.
That's fucked up.
But if I was to say, oh, well, but if a woman was to say, I don't want no broke guy or no ugly guy or no small dick energy guy or whatever the hell it is, no one bats up.
Perfectly acceptable.
It's completely socially acceptable for women to talk about it.
Shame menu.
Nobody wants no one-minute man.
No one's, you know, small dick man, all that.
So, in other words, it is okay for women to have standards and not men.
And that's what I'm saying, like, where guys need to kind of come in and put standards on women because a lot of girls just think I'm going to show up on a date and be pretty and that's it.
And I don't got to worry about nothing else.
And this guy's got to impress me.
And I'm telling guys, no, you got to make girls perform too because too many girls are used to getting attention and validation for nothing more than breathing.
So, what do they need to do to perform?
So, I would say the biggest thing is every guy is different, right?
They're going to have different things, but most men are easy to please.
As long as a woman is compliant, submissive, feminine, attractive, pleasant to be around, not annoying, like you're going to have a lot of guys happy just with that.
You know what I'm saying?
Then, every other guy, depending on what they want, you know, maybe they're an entrepreneur, they're going to need help or whatever.
But a lot of women come into the relationship thinking, what can you do for me?
Versus what they need to do is come into the relationship thinking, what can I do for you?
Because at the end of the day, I think women always make a really bad mistake where they think, oh, well, I have a bunch of guys hit me up, whatever.
No, your game is, can you retain the guy that you like, admire, and respect?
The guy's game is, can I attain the girl?
The girl's game is, can I retain the guy after I fuck him?
And if you were to ask a lot of modern day women, they can't retain these dudes.
That's why a lot of them are chronically single.
Guys ain't shit, blah, blah, blah.
It's because their retention value sucks because they come in from the perspective of, let me get what I can.
I'm going to come in as a liability versus being an asset.
A lot of girls are liabilities.
I'm going to be honest.
So here's the biggest problem, right?
That I see it from the podcast, from dating, actually being out there in the field.
And it's scary because most women never think about it.
They know what they want to an example.
Six feet, six inches, six figures.
You know, the typical six-roll.
Top percent guy.
However, they never ask the question, what does that guy really want?
And as a result, they'll do the most.
Oh, I'm a boss, babe.
I have my own money.
I can buy a car.
I can do this and that.
It's like, no, I don't want another me.
I want girls, feminine, cousins, be around, it's peaceful, right?
Men want peace.
However, here's the thing that most women need to understand as well.
What they need to do is bring value to the guy.
And it could be anything.
For example, let's say I'm in a pizza shop, right?
And for me personally, all I need is someone there on Saturdays when my staff is not available to take phone calls.
It's just really into me.
Guess what?
She's going to say, you know what?
Damn.
My man needs this on Saturday.
I'll make time and adjust for him because he's my man and I care about and I respect him.
As a result, that's adding value.
Like, for example, it could be even in the gym.
You know what?
He needs his protein shake at 10 a.m.
She says, you know what?
I'll wake up early, make it for him, and go back to sleep.
That's adding value.
So we're just saying, for the most part, most women, they don't even care or want to know what men want.
They just say, I want this guy because he's high value.
But it's amazing.
We've brought girls on the show and they'll say, I want this and I want that.
We actually have something called the Delusion Calculator.
It's kind of funny.
And we have, one of our supporters actually made, and he pulled stats from the U.S. Census Bureau and from the National Health Organization, right?
That has a composite of like all the men in the United States, et cetera.
And they'll say, okay, I want a guy to be six feet tall.
So we have, yeah, that's all we've done.
But we have our own.
That's the old one.
We have a new updated one.
See the new update.
I don't have the link here, but we've used it before.
And like almost every time, without fail, when we ask a girl to describe the guy from height standpoint, how much money they make, whatever, they're almost always described a guy in the top two or three percent of men, say over six feet tall, 100,000 plus, whatever.
And then we ask, okay, so this is what you want in the guy.
What do you bring back?
Fucking crickets, man.
They don't really know what to say.
They'll go ahead and sometimes say something like what he was saying, like, oh, well, I bring my own money.
I bring my own stuff too.
And a lot of women don't understand that attraction is not symmetrical.
It's asymmetrical.
Men and women are attracted to completely different things.
And a lot of girls don't understand this, which is also scary because they think, well, I make my own money.
I'm successful.
I'm ambitious.
Blah, That's great.
That sounds great on paper for you.
But men don't necessarily care about these things.
And they're like, what are you talking about?
Blah, blah, blah.
And I'm just like, well, if I decided, you know, I'm going to do my nails on Saturdays and wear heels every now and then and be, you know, be very pretty and stuff, you'll look at me like I'm crazy, right?
Yeah, that's not attractive.
Okay, well, that's how I feel every time you come up and say, I'm a boss, I make this much money, whatever.
Because whether women want to accept it or not, making money, being successful, et cetera, you tend to have masculine traits when you are a go-getter and an A-type personality.
And a lot of guys don't find that attractive.
And the men that they're competing for don't find these things attractive.
Because once a man has money, the last thing he cares about is a girl that has money like that.
If she does have it, it's a plus, but it's not necessarily a requirement.
Pat, you've got thousands of employees or general independent contractors that work for you.
A lot of them are couples, right?
Some of them are single.
Some of these women make hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Have you found that what they're saying is accurate?
Meaning the single women, like I'm not talking about the power couples within your company, the single women who are making a quarter million bucks an up or even a hundred grand and up are having a harder time retaining a man or is it, are they off?
No, I think it's purely what he's talking about makes a lot of sense, but it's purely values and principle.
I have one of my one of the ladies I used to work with.
She was the type A personality in the marriage.
He was not.
He was the passive.
So if you did the star personality thing, she's probably an SA shit.
TNR would be all the way at the bottom 1%.
She was all SNA, okay?
And he was more our personality relationship.
Hey, love you.
And maybe a little bit of S and a little bit of T and a little bit of A, right?
But she was like a powerhouse.
Guess what?
She never cooked.
She never did anything.
But she was pretty.
She took care of herself.
She made the money, but she also supported him.
And she was a face of the business.
And it worked for them because he didn't want to be the face.
Go to talking about who we just had on Jedediah.
She's the face of the family.
Husband's the supporter.
It's working out very well.
Dynamics are different.
The challenge when somebody listens to me or listens to them or listens to whoever that's given their philosophy, everybody thinks this is the only way to do it.
It's not.
There's a hundred different ways to get married and make it work.
But by the way, there's a hundred ways to do it the wrong way.
People marry often for the wrong things.
And it's just not an attractive thing.
By the way, I watched this one lady.
She's 60 years old.
And she says, you know, let me tell you guys about my life.
In my 20s, the feminist movement was taking off.
I joined it.
I went and became a courier woman.
And I did so well.
And all I wanted to do was be better than men, be better than this.
And I bought into that philosophy.
Today I'm a millionaire.
Today I'm a C-suite executive.
Today I've been able to have all this shares.
I live in a nice house.
I have all this other stuff.
I don't have a husband.
I don't have kids because I bought into this feminism concept.
And she's now living in regret.
So she regrets it all.
Because the value of life, you got to invest into things that have depth.
Depth is not, I met you, we go home, we have a good time, and then I never call you again.
That's just a release.
That's just science.
That's just biology.
But the stuff in life that have depth is a lot of risk.
It's annoying.
It's challenging.
It sucks your energy out of you sometimes.
So, you know, she eventually had to figure it out for herself, but it's too late for her.
Not necessarily it's too late for her.
She's 60, but she definitely doesn't have the market value of all the time.
She's not having kids.
But she can have kids.
So that's what I'm saying.
Sometimes the philosophy, but she bought into someone's philosophy.
That's the problem.
We're buying into someone's philosophy.
You know, I'm buying it.
You're buying it.
She bought it.
You buy into the wrong person's philosophy.
You lose your life, by the way.
It's gone.
So I'll say this, right?
There's philosophy, but there's also facts and truth.
And at the end of the day, yes.
Generally speaking, you can find a way out.
However, exceptions don't make the rule.
And as a result, we have to speak in generalities because the general population, they don't know for the most part what they're doing.
So just to be safe, hey, here's some facts, here's some data.
You make yourself aware and then make a choice for yourself.
We're not saying you have to do what we say.
We're just saying, hey, here's the facts, here's the data.
You make a choice.
But in reality speaking, you can see in real time how women respond, how we respond, and make for yourself a decision based off of that.
And we also always talk about, you know, probabilities versus possibilities.
And we debate with girls a lot of the times.
They're so into possible.
Like, well, it's possible for me to find my guy and we'd be a power couple and he's going to accept me and my masculine attitude, as you would say.
When I was like, Yeah, it's possible, but is it probable?
No.
Actually, let's pull up this calculator and see how prevalent this guy is.
And we pull up the calculator and it ends up, you know, they get they score.
They have a cat back score at the bottom.
All these girls be scoring five out of five cat backs.
Perfect.
You know what I'm saying?
So it's as far as like the delusion goes.
So, like, is it possible to find this guy that's six foot three, good looking, blah, blah, blah, is going to be monogamous to you, whatever, potentially.
But is it probable?
No.
And the other thing, too, is that, like, as far as the dynamics we were mentioning before, is like women that are power and they have very strong or the face of the business or whatever, and the husband is in the background.
Though I've definitely seen those, you know, couples work and it happens every now and then.
What I've realized is that most women don't want to be in an authority position when they're with a man.
They want the man to lead.
Some girls are okay with it with, okay, I'll lead and I'll have this guy behind me, but most girls want the man to lead.
So we tell guys, listen, just be comfortable being a leader because you're going to be most attractive to a majority of women by being this way.
Now, is there a woman out there that will be okay with you being on the back seat?
Absolutely.
There's always those girls.
There's a challenge with that.
Here's a challenge with it.
Yeah, sure.
Is the following.
And Adam, I actually got a question for you because there's only one person here that has your experience.
And here's what it is: your experience, you've partied in multiple decades being single.
So I'm curious to know what's changed with you in a marketplace.
But going back to that, we were talking about what?
Okay, we're talking about probability, possibility, all that other stuff.
So this is what's going to give you the highest chances.
Here's my experience.
You give a guy a dating book on how to be a player.
He reads the book on how to be a player.
He reads the game.
He's like, oh, you ain't that pretty.
Okay.
You know, whatever.
It's like, oh, wow.
Well, you mean I'm not that pretty?
I've had better than you.
Oh, my gosh.
Well, one of the.
And then I was like, oh, wow, this works.
You know, calling her stuff that kind of works.
Man, you know, I, hey, Mary, how are you doing?
My name's not Mary.
It's, it's, oh, I'm so sorry.
I confused you with somebody else.
Who's you?
You know, so that, okay, you learned that stuff for me.
Does it work?
It's not like Pat has ever read that book.
No, but here's the point, though.
Here's the point.
If you're acting, eventually people are going to know who the real you is.
That's the problem.
So, meaning, if I have to act like a gangster, but I'm a ranker, I'm a wanker.
I'm a wankster.
I'm not a gangster.
There's always going to be like, who are you, bro?
You know, what are you talking about?
You ain't that tough.
Why are you acting so tough?
Behind closed doors.
So you can only do that if it's really you.
Yes.
Eventually, if you're going to be serious with a girl, she's going to realize you kind of are pretty weak.
You ain't that guy.
So you have to also balance that part out.
Then the divorce is definitely around the corner because she married a different guy.
So for me, when I went on a date, before we would act like, oh my gosh, man, you know what?
I was just walking by, smelled those roses.
Oh, they smell so good.
And, you know, I just love flowers.
My favorite movie is Notebook.
You know, it's just a love story.
Fake, Listen, what's your favorite movie?
Dude, I freaking love old school.
Damn, I love it.
Frank the tank, Frank the tank, Frank the tank.
You know, what are you doing tomorrow?
I've got to go through that.
Don't apologize to me.
Okay?
You apologize to Frick.
So, but the point is, so Jenna and I go on a date.
Yeah.
And I'm on a conference call coming back.
She's listening to me on the conference call.
It was probably the most heated conference call I had.
And she's like, who the hell is this guy?
And I get off the conference call.
I say, listen, if we're going to have series, you need to see all sides of me.
This is kind of me.
Okay.
All right.
Let me see.
And then boom, we have arguments first week.
Not waiting six months to have arguments.
Yeah.
Then there's all this other stuff.
Like, who the hell is this guy?
Say, listen, I can act, but eventually you're going to know who I am.
Yep.
This is who I am.
Yeah.
Do you like it?
If you don't, please don't fight it because this is kind of how I'm wired.
And I'm going to get better.
So that's the part where I mean if a guy tries to act to be like you, but it doesn't fit, it's not going to work because he's not my run.
And that goes back with what I was saying before at the top of the show.
I was talking about how, you know, your competence leads to accomplishments leads to confidence, right?
And then you got to be congruent based on that swagger that you are, right?
You got to be congruent.
And girls are able to, like I said before, they're very socially receptive.
So they're going to be able to tell, okay, this guy's faking it after they deal with you a bit, right?
And that's why it's very important to be who you are and say who you are and don't put on an act.
Like, I get it, like, some guys have to learn attractive traits or whatever, but that's why we tell guys, become the best version of yourself.
Because after you become the best version of yourself, you're going to be in the best position where you're going to be the most attractive because you're going to be confident in yourself.
And then when you deal with women, they're going to be able to feel that.
It's going to radiate off you without you even having to try.
And then it's going to be congruent.
And then you don't have to purport yourself to be somebody that you're not.
It's just, this is how I am.
And we tell guys all the time, you need to operate with girls.
There is no negotiations.
We don't negotiate with terrorists.
It's take it or fucking leave it.
You know what I'm saying?
This is how we operate with girls all the time.
We tell them, like, this is how it is.
Like, we don't negotiate women.
This is what I'm doing.
You can come along for the ride, but I'm not following you.
And when I, and I know a lot of people are like, oh my God, that's a misogynistic.
Oh, my God.
It's a woman.
But what we say, the reason why we say that is because we understand most women, not all, but most women want an assertive, dominant man that's a leader that knows what path he's on and she wants to come along for the ride.
There's a reason why 50 Shades of Gray is like the most popular book is because that man exemplifies so many different attractive and arousing characteristics that women look for.
And if a guy can exemplify that and be congruent to it, you're going to be very attractive to a lot of women.
And then on top of that, a lot of women find you attractive.
You have an abundance mindset.
Your girl's going to be in line because she's going to see other girls looking at you.
We know the importance of pre-selection when it comes to women.
And I've always said that when you have other women in line, the girl that you're with is going to get in line.
And that's why it's so important to be congruent, like you were saying before.
Patrick, I got a quick question for you because, of course, you talk about the delusional calculator.
I need to get that, by the way.
Is that an app?
Yeah.
So that's the one website.
We have our own calculator.
I'll get the link for y'all, and you guys can use it.
It's hilarious.
And I guarantee you, if you talk to Patrick about the delusional calculator, especially now that he's had a lot of success and very proud of what he's accomplished, there's probably a lot of people that come to you just in general.
And I don't think that's necessarily a relationship thing.
I think that's a society thing.
You've played sports.
You've realized at Florida State people, I'm going to be the next wide receiver.
I'm going to the next Neon Deion.
I'm sure Patrick Pone comes to you.
I'm going to be the next podcast person, but they haven't put the work in, right?
You talk about the competence.
You talk about accomplishments and confidence.
How many times, Patrick, in society, someone's come up to you and you're like, come on, realistically?
Like, really?
You know what I'm saying?
I think that's really a society thing in general, man.
Everyone just has this perception that they're more worth than what they really are.
And you keep talking about that market value, right, Patrick?
I think the main thing is what they're doing right that's working for them.
Gentlemen, if you can get anything out of what they're doing that's working for them, they're managing expectations up front.
The opposition either likes the expectation or it doesn't.
It's not their problem.
It's the opposition's problem.
You don't like it.
Don't like it.
You like it.
You like it.
There's nothing else you can say about it because it's my life.
So if somebody comes on like Tyler, okay, Tyler, why don't you tell us your philosophy?
Because you're very upset at Fresh and Fit.
I asked him off before you guys came in.
I said, so what do you think about these guys?
I don't know.
I don't know.
So why don't you tell us your philosophy?
It's slightly different.
Well, so maybe I got some of the viral clips, right?
But there's, like you said, there's nothing that they've said today that I've disagreed with at all.
But like I've been with the same girl since I was 18.
We have a kid together.
Like I, she's a partner of mine.
I get better as she gets better.
She helps out.
I pick up the slack where she can't.
She picks up my slack.
Like it's a partnership.
It's something we want to grow and foster and nurture.
And that's, I think a lot of people have lost that idea that if you want to take over the world, you don't need a boss bitch or a bad bitch or whatever it is.
You need somebody that's going to pick up where you leave off and likewise.
And you guys can conquer the world together.
That's what they're saying as well.
Well, yeah.
And they're saying that the bad bitch is not the model, is what they're talking about.
They don't want that.
That's what Fresh was talking about.
So it was mastery, but we went up waiting.
Yeah, while you're single, do your thing.
Go have your fun.
But again, going back to it, manage an expectation up front.
99% of relationships that I've had that haven't worked, I'm telling you right now, the relationships that haven't worked where it was my fault and I look back.
So I only look at the stuff that I screwed up with and I've screwed up many of them.
You know what they all have in common?
I did not manage expectations up front.
It's my fault.
I don't sit there and shit with the other person.
So eventually I'm like, yeah, this relationship didn't work out.
Why?
You didn't manage expectations.
You just sold Google Gaga over the fact, oh my gosh, she's so hot.
You screwed up.
So rather, here's where I stand.
Is that good?
If you like it, it's not going to change.
This is where I stand with this.
And it works out.
That's what I think they do right.
And by the way, that's how we were in the military.
It was kind of like, look, I'm not looking for wife.
I'm not looking for this.
But if you want to have a good time, no problem.
Anything outside of that, I have no desire to get married while I'm in the army.
And the girl either said, no, I don't like that, or she said, cool, I respect that.
Great.
Then let's go.
And if it's fun, we'll do it again.
If it's not, this will be the last time.
But it was all upfront managing that expectation.
And how long have you been married now, Patrick?
12 and a half years.
But you know what I say?
You know what I say about marriage?
What do I say about marriage?
The day I got married and I'm giving a speech in front of our wedding.
I said, let me tell you something about marriage.
I don't know whether we're going to be married for 50 years, but I do know we're going to be married for one year.
We're going to take it one year at a time.
I said this in front of 500 family members.
I said, we're going to take this one year at a time.
And none of you guys can create unnecessary pressures for us because I don't want to.
I said, number two, at my wedding day, I said, do not ask my wife if she's pregnant.
You're going to have a problem with me.
Nobody can ask my wife if she's pregnant.
There's a lot of extra pressures for having kids.
You're not going to come to my wife saying you guys have kids or not.
When we do, you'll find out about it.
I want a lot of kids, but if it doesn't happen, it's none of your business.
I looked at both sides of the family.
Don't ask my wife about kids.
And don't ask us about, you know, all this other stuff.
And yeah, marriage, one year at a time.
We've been married 12 and a half years.
We're about to be 13 years.
I think we can make it to 13.
The reason why I say this is the following reason.
Some people say, man, he's got an agenda.
He's got this or he's got that.
No.
Life changes.
People change.
Situations change.
I can't control the other person.
I can control myself.
I don't walk on water.
I don't have the expectation of walking on water.
My standard is not to be perfect.
That standard of perfection ruins relationships.
The standard of perfection ruins relationships.
The standard of perfection rules friendship.
All of that.
So listen, here's where I am.
I respect you.
We're going to play the game.
I love you.
I'm going to protect you.
I'm going to be my best.
But at the same time, stick it one year out of 10.
It's worked out well.
Yeah, I think the biggest thing, that's a very good point you made earlier.
The biggest thing for guys, especially is that like, okay, this is who you are, right?
Just the core foundation is make your money, focus on your mindset, your fitness.
As a result, you're becoming a better man.
Guess what?
If you're in the best position possible for yourself, like for example, I'm not Myron.
Myron's not me.
You see, flashy jewelry, lifestyle.
That's just me.
That's what I wrote, right?
But guess what?
Regarding women and dating, this is who I am.
I'm not trying to be somebody I'm not.
Likewise, he's very upfront, very, you know, masculine, very who he is.
But guess what?
That's who he is.
So, as a result, if you are who you are and you prove yourself as a guy, I'm telling you right now, that's all you need to do.
You don't need to be me or my Be yourself.
But at the same time, ugly yourself mentally, physically, and also money-wise.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't this again.
I thought there's gonna be a shit ton of things.
But everyone takes our clips and like, oh, I disagree with this.
But then when you get the full context, it's just.
What you're saying is for men to be men.
By the way, if you want options, increase your market value.
You have to simple as that.
Like the days of just being able to, like, you know, kind of have game or having, like, it used to be where you can have like, do one thing, like well and like do really well.
But like.
Nowadays man, with the, the pickiness of women, how the market, the dating marketplace, has changed.
Women have more options than ever before.
You really have to be a complete package if you want to be able to get the dating options that you want and, on top of that, be able to retain girls, keep them in rotation, whatever.
Because if you got like let's say, you got game right, but you don't got any money, or you don't not the best looking guy right um, you'll be able to get girls, you might get laid once or twice here, whatever it may be, but you're not gonna be able to retain that girl long term.
You're gonna lose her to some dude that has his shit together, whatever it may be, that might have less game than you.
Or let's say you're a very good looking guy, you might get laid every now and then, but you're not able to keep girls around or take them on dates, give them a good experience and retention goes down.
Or let's just say you have only money.
Well, they're not gonna respect you because you don't understand how to uh cognitively stimulate her and get her to be aroused by you and actually genuinely attracted.
She's dealing with you just as a means to them, because you have financial stability.
So we tell guys, you need to be the complete package, need to be in shape, need to have game, you need to understand female nature, you need to um, have your money on point so you can go ahead and be the most marketable to the largest demographic of girls.
There's some girls that only want good-looking guys that are in shape cool, now you're in shape.
There's some girls that only want guys that have money cool, you can get them chicks as well.
There's some girls that want guys that you know have a talking mouth, a talking good, talking game cool.
So that way you're the most marketable to the largest amount of women.
Because we tell guys all the time in today's dating game, you got to work volume, you got to be talking to a lot of girls and to be able to talk to the most girls and have the highest uh potential of success, you have to have the most attributes will make you attractive to the largest demographic of women, and having all these things in place not only will make you more attractive, make you happier as a man in general, but you're going to have an abundance mindset and you're not going to operate from a scarcity mindset.
So many guys operate where it's like, oh my god, I hope she likes me, let me try to impress her.
I'm like, no fuck, that it's not.
I hope she likes me.
Game it's, take it or leave it.
Game, comply or goodbye.
This is how I am.
And when you have that abundance mindset, even if the girl doesn't like you or she gets offended by it, she's going to respect you.
And I tell guys all the time, a girl's respect is more important than her liking you, because if she respects you, she's going to be like, okay, you know what?
This guy isn't kissing my ass, this guy isn't all about it.
Uh, you know, putting me on a pedestal, whatever.
This is different.
This is the refreshing.
Let me figure out what's going on here, because most girls are used to getting their asses kissed for nothing more than them being a having, being a female and having a vagina.
So when you come in and be like, oh no, that's not how I operate, or you got to do this or you impress me finally.
It puts her in a position where she actually wants to be in.
She's finally chasing a man's validation for once, and that makes you more attractive and if it doesn't, fuck her, find another girl.
What's?
You've been in it 20 some years.
Yes yeah okay, and you've been single for 20 something.
You've been in relationships?
Yeah yeah but, but we, you haven't lacked relationships.
But you've seen how much of it's changed, how much, how different is it today?
Because I don't know what it is to swipe right, I don't know what it is to have uh, what do you call it?
Online access to all these apps that are out there.
That makes it a lot easier, believe it or not, does that?
Does that mean a guy's ability to have a mouthpiece today doesn't matter as much as it did 15 years ago?
You Do?
You know what I'm asking?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, like back in the days, like, we had to go up and you know, say lines.
Here's what I'll tell you with that.
Yeah.
You guys tell me because I'm cool.
I'm going to give you a little bit of a bunch of people.
Two totally different perspectives.
Go play.
I remember being in eighth grade, liking a girl, and I had to call up her freaking landline.
The dad picked up the phone.
I had to say, hello, Mr. So-and-so.
Can I speak with so-and-so?
Who's this?
Well, this is like I had to get through that barrier.
Okay, do you imagine?
You know the freaking balls you need to have as a 13-year-old boy to get through the dad in order to speak to the girl.
That's tough.
And that's before she even got on the phone.
Then I got to be able to spit some game and then get what I like.
Do you understand?
The barriers to entry are so ridiculous.
Insanely easy.
Now, you need to be able to talk.
You need to have confidence.
You need to have swag.
You need to have respect.
You need to have just a good head on your shoulders.
You need to understand the difference between the day you do.
No, no, back then.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Now you could be a fucking schmuck, slide into a girl's DM with a sub girl, you up?
Like, and a girl will respond.
Like, the game that you need to have back then is so much stronger than it is today.
Now, with that being said, it's so much easier now.
You can go on any different app.
You can go on Instagram.
You can go on anywhere.
And you can start, you know, making your move.
And the last thing I'll say is, here's what I will say.
What I've learned in my 20 years, okay, I've been partying in South Beach for 20 years.
College, after college, now in my early 40s.
When you're in your 20s, you're focused on your boys.
Okay?
The boys want to have a good time.
We're going out.
In your 30s, now all your friends are getting married.
You're focusing on the girls' perspective.
You're putting yourself in the girls' shoes.
The most liberating thing now is being 40, you know, when you're, and you're like, all right, you focus on yourself.
And this is basically what you're talking about.
You're not worried about your boy's opinion.
You're not worrying about appeasing any particular female or like trying to, you know, be someone you're not.
The realest thing you could be is who you are and be what you want.
And then from there, what do you call it?
Hold frame and say, now this is what I look for.
This is what I want.
And if you can't reach that, all good.
I don't want to waste your time.
The number one thing is not being able to waste time.
I'd rather invest my time than spend time.
Anyway.
Okay.
So I'll bring it on, right?
Because we're in a game right now.
And it's funny because a lot has changed since back in the day.
Now, as you know, and my opinion, our opinion, is the biggest thing now in the world is Instagram.
Yep.
Because guess what?
Celebrities, influencers, athletes, stars, movie stars, right?
Guess what?
They're on these platforms.
And girls are actively on these platforms every single day.
Guess what?
I can have a girl in Idaho, Tennessee, I don't know, Alaska, right?
I can send a DM and say, yo, come to Miami.
Guess what?
First flight else in Miami.
But here's the problem, right?
Back in the day, they didn't have that because if you're in those states or you're in these cities, don't know who you were.
Only people around you will actually see you in real life.
Now, because of social media, the climate has changed.
I could DM a girl anywhere in the world and get her here.
So picture this, right?
As easy as a DM, like you said earlier, I could send her to her today.
And if you're verified, even better, because guess what?
Now you're a valid person of, I want to say, status.
Status, right?
So regarding brand awareness, having a brand and being that guy now on social media, you win.
So look, for example, I stutter a lot, right?
I'm not really the most, I want to say, talkative person because I don't talk that much.
But my brand awareness is on point because my lifestyle, what I do, and then, for example, just me being a social media presence, guess what?
That's enough for me to get what I want.
As a result, this might be a little controversial.
I used to date three girls a day.
So I'll literally wake up at like 8 a.m., go to work, lunchtime, I'll go on like a little date, and then afterward, I'll go on to date again, and then at night.
But guess what?
Over social media, I'll be at home on my Instagram, send her a DM, yo, what you doing tonight?
On free, cool.
Link up.
Or for example, hey, what are you doing during the day?
Link up.
And it's not easy.
Now, here's the problem, though, right?
With this much access and options, it's hard to say, you know what?
Damn, I'm going to be with this girl because she has these traits.
Because there's so many girls know you could hit up.
It's like, yo, why sell it for one?
However, I'll say this regarding this whole lifestyle of being a player, all options.
Is it fulfilling?
No.
Because at the end of the day, I've realized from experience, the best thing you can do as a man is show your tongue to somebody you care about and actually want to be around because all these girls are, yeah, you could smash them whatever, have that experience.
But in reality speaking, having that one person you connect with physically, spiritually, mentally, that's important over everything.
But regarding the data marketplace, yo, it's super easy nowadays.
All right, for sure.
So I'm very disappointed that you went that deep in relationships.
You got me emotional right now.
You're making me want to watch an oath book and fall in love.
Nah, bro.
That was very sweet.
I was taking some notes on this.
So like, this is, this is kind of, this is, this is the, the, the current dating marketplace right now at a glimpse, right?
So like, if you got this cup, right, right.
So let's pretend that this is a woman's validation meter, right?
So it used to be where a woman had to go outside, right, to be able to get attention and or validation from men, right?
She didn't have the advent of the smartphone and all this other stuff.
She had to go outside and or put herself in a position, go into nightclubs, be social, whatever, to get attention from men.
So men's attention was not as easy to gain as it is nowadays, right?
So that club, when she walks outside the house, the cup is empty, right?
Because now she's got to go out there and get her ego pulled or whatever and get it brought up.
But nowadays, thanks to social media, by the time she steps out the house, this cup is full with validation because she opens up her Instagram, she has a bunch of DMs, she opens up her dating apps, has a bunch of options.
And what happens is they start to have an abundance mindset.
And I always say women naturally have an abundance mindset.
Men have to earn their abundance mindset.
So just by a girl existing, looking at her phone, whatever it may be, I know girls that will turn on their Tinder.
I've seen it before on TikTok as well.
Turn on their Tinder, get a bunch of matches, not go on a date with any of them, and then just close it down just to get their validation and just to get that validation.
Just to feel good about themselves and just keep it open.
Because women, whether they want to admit it or not, a lot of them have low self-esteem.
There's a reason why the makeup industry is never going to go out of business, why hair salons, nail salons, even during a pandemic, they were still in business to some degree because women understand that their primary agency comes from the way they look.
So getting attention from men reconfirms in their mind, I'm pretty, I can still get a guy because a woman's value is based on her beauty.
I don't care what none of them say.
Even the strongest, most independent woman is going to wear heels and makeup and lipstick, right?
So they had to actually go out to get this validation.
Nowadays, thanks to social media, dating apps, whatever, women get this attention and validation without having to do anything besides be at home.
And I didn't experiment on this, right?
So a couple of years ago, I released a dating course with my buddy.
And when I was doing the testing, right, we used Tinder, teach guys how to use Tinder, sugar apps, whatever it may be.
When I was doing the testing to see which, you know, the best way to get matches and everything else like that, see how the algorithm goes.
I had two phones.
I did an A-B test, right?
So on one phone, I basically did a boost, right?
On all the accounts.
On another one, I made a fresh account, didn't do no boost, right?
And I turned the phones off for about 24 hours.
Turn it back on, and both phones have a bunch of notifications, right?
And I'm like, oh, yeah, this is fucking awesome.
This is great.
I'm like, yeah, I'm getting this attention.
Woo!
You know, and then it hit me.
Imagine getting this amount of attention every single day for nothing more than the fact that I'm alive.
It would probably make me a piece of shit, wouldn't it?
And then I realized, like, damn, wait, hold on.
This is what a lot of modern day girls go through every single day.
And the studies show it.
Like, women find most men, almost over 90% of men on Tinder and bumble all these sites as unattractive, below average and unattraction.
Most women don't match worth and or look at profiles unless the guys in the top 5% of dudes.
One in three men right now is either a virgin and/or sexually inactive between 18 to 30.
So it's become harder for a majority of men to get girls with the new social media age because women have more options than before.
And a girl that would have been constrained to her own sexual marketplace, let's say she lived in Iowa, whatever, maybe Idaho, right?
She had that area.
And we talked about this in deep with Rolo Tomasi.
It was a localized sexual marketplace.
But now with the internet, dating apps, et cetera, she can go and talk to someone in Miami.
She can go ahead and talk to someone in LA.
And there's a lot of girls flying out all over the place because now they have access to men that they would have never otherwise had.
So in other words, when they wake up, this glass is full every single day, which is why a lot of guys are invisible to most women, right?
So, and this is because, you know, dating apps and Instagram in general.
So what's basically happened now is that the top men are getting a majority of the girls, right?
The majority of girls are chasing a very small select men.
And with the advent of the internet, it's become even more pronounced.
And women have become even more selective because with them getting the validation that they get on their phones, they're like, fuck this.
I can, I'm getting hit up by Future.
I'm getting hit up by whatever.
A girl literally came on our pod and talked about, yeah, I banked Future and he jizzed me and he was going to give me a family, but it didn't end up happening.
But this is this, right?
The rapper.
Yeah, the rapper.
But it's on our show.
They know what time it is.
But like, but that's that's that's the dating marketplace we're in.
Average women now, right, have access to top-tier guys.
And that's just what happens.
So like a regular woman.
Fresh goes on a date with three girls a day.
Yeah, he's covering here taking it.
So it's basic, long story short, a lot of guys are struggling because women have higher, higher standards now, and male attention is worth nothing nowadays.
So in other words, the dating sites made the rich richer, the poor, poor.
Yes.
Yes.
It's like stimulus check.
Interesting.
Yo, you know the scary part?
There's a darker side to this.
You want me to go there?
Go ahead.
Yeah.
You know what I'm going to say, right?
Trigger.
So, guys, nowadays, right?
Girls can have a boyfriend, a sneaky link, guy that they just fuck.
And what do you call it?
A sneaky link.
Like, you know, late night, hit him up.
Sneaky link.
I'll come over and we'll just smash and then you go back home to your boyfriend or whatever is what it is.
And then the third one, they might have the sugar daddy.
So the whole culture now is: okay, cool.
How do I get these things in life without working for it for girls?
And what's the best way?
Trigger daddy.
I just show up, look pretty.
I might fuck her or not, but I'm going to get my rent paid.
I'm going to get either a new car or I'm going to get money to go shopping or just have fun.
And think about it, right?
Who are sugar babies nowadays?
Girls in college that have no money.
It could be even a boss baby that just wants a better man.
And it's funny because a lot of girls will say, I don't be caught down on Tinder a bumble because that's below me.
But I'll be on a trigger site when they find the right guy that could take care of me.
And as a result, guess what?
Now, from that experience, they expect all men to be on a level.
So the average girl that you see, you're going next door, right?
You're like, oh, she's cute, pretty.
She's very to herself, whatever.
You don't know.
She might have two sugar daddies that are paying for her lifestyle.
You come talk to her, hey, Susie, I want to take you out.
Nigga, who are you?
Because guess what?
You're not on his level.
And as a result, it's good because, once again, social media, it could be a guy on there that's high profile.
It could be a trigger daddy.
You don't even know who he competed with.
So we say for most guys, on some level, become the best version of yourself because at that point, you could kind of play the game.
But even then, you may not because either they're millionaires, they're sugar daddies.
You never really know.
So as a result, most men will never get the option or even the chance to play the game of the dating game.
And the scary part is a lot of guys don't even know what they're up against in the current dating marketplace is to like why it's so competitive.
So what I've always said, like feminism, what it's inadvertently done, it's actually given all the leverage to the top 5% of men.
Because what happens is woman gets her own career, makes more money, becomes successful.
Well, now a large pool of candidates that would have been a great husband and a potential boyfriend, this guy doesn't make it.
That's the hypergamy factor.
Yeah, they want to date their equal or both.
Exactly, right?
So women, we know women on a balanced probabilities do not date below their socioeconomic status.
They want to date at least bare minimum where they're at or preferably above.
So as women make more money and become more successful, now their pool of men drops down with it and they want to date up.
So it's given the leverage inadvertently to a lot of the higher status men.
These women that Fresh was talking about, how does it affect their psychic?
Because you said something very profound earlier.
You said, you know, fast money comes slow problems.
Yeah.
So break down that mindset for these women.
So a lot of- So there's a lot of women out there that are like, I'm independent.
I don't need no man.
I get my own money.
The boss bitch thing.
It's like, okay, how are you getting that money?
So a lot of people.
Maybe you're a career woman, A, but maybe you're.
More that sugar daddy with three boyfriends type yeah, and I don't think guys understand.
Like, if you see a bad chick on instagram or she's very attractive, you best believe bro, that she's getting crazy offers, she's getting rappers on her up, sugar daddies, whatever it may be like, I always tell guys, if you guys really want to see the dating marketplace, if your friends don't buy a hot chick, ask her to see her instagram and look at her dms.
You guys gonna see what i'm talking about.
Or look at her dating inbox, her dating uh profile inbox or whatever site she has.
A lot of girls live a double life where they're whether they're on only fans, they're selling feet pictures, they're on snapchat premium, they have a sugar daddy, they're getting flown out by a certain guy or whatever.
A lot of attractive women have this thing going on.
They're obviously not gonna all ending up in Dubai exactly, you know what i'm saying.
Or it's a chick, that's like.
You know?
Like what the hell you?
You work, you're a ra at the school.
How are you in Ireland right now and then going to Dubai after, like?
So a lot of girls live this double life thanks to internet, whatever it may be.
So I always say, you know um, fast money comes with slow problems.
A lot of girls that do you know they're strippers, only fans, whatever they'll make this money up front, or sell feet pictures, whatever they'll make this money up front.
But what they don't realize is that's going to have dire consequences on them in the future when it comes to marriage and or some kind of stable relationship.
Because we know how men are, men are very territorial women.
If you are about to marry a chick and she's your girl and you find out that she did some fuck shit in the past, you're more than likely going to call off the wedding because men have a serious point of issue with a woman's past.
I always say, women want a man with a future, a man wants a woman that doesn't have a past.
And that's just the way it's always been since the beginning of time.
Men are very territorial.
So a lot of girls what they don't realize is they're doing this stuff right and they kind of know subconsciously like it's going to mess me up in the future.
But if it ever comes out, they don't care, it's going to mess with them and some don't even care.
They're just like i'm just going to be a thaddie.
I don't care except me, how I come, but it fast money.
A lot of time does come with slow problems, which is going to be being able to find a guy.
We know a big predicate on female happiness and fulfillment typically comes from a family of children, not necessarily a career making money.
Hey, Fresh and FIT.
I have a quick question for you guys.
So um, you you've talked about kind of this change, the dynamic that's happened in in America.
So just to let you know about me just in general, like I was, you 18 years old, I was single, I was with Patrick for FORT Campbell.
We, you know the stories we could tell are crazy.
But you know, I went on a run for 10 years, kind of kind of hear your story right, you know what i'm saying, kind of going to figure out, until I met my wife, and now i've been married for 19 years.
You know things have changed right yeah, I mean i'm not gonna ask Patrick this too.
At the same time, I mean could you imagine if we had all this technology, you know this resources?
Scary, it really is scary yeah, it really is.
And so for the older demographics, i'm sure you have uh, males from all you know sorts of age groups, i'm probably sure in youngers, the 20s or 30s, maybe even the 40s and above that, like if something were to happen, like life has changed.
You know my house cat, you know Felix the cat house cat, like you're gonna throw me back out there.
Yeah, it's almost exactly Felix in the wild.
Are they inspiring you, is this?
No no, it's just.
It's just Anita's listening to this saying please get Felix off the podcast.
No, she just apologized.
But I will say my wife definitely compliments me.
Like you were saying, you know kind of the weaknesses and we're being you, My strengths, and vice versa.
So, that's what makes us work.
And it's a different definition.
Like you said, I think our society has it where you have to do it this way, like Patrick said, or the Bible says this, or he says that.
And I make my own rules, right?
Your society does have laws and rules, but at the same time, too, hey, I have my own rules of how I perceive my happiness.
How are you going to tell me what makes me happy?
So, I definitely love your perspective.
I think sometimes maybe, like you said, get those clips Tyler was talking about that kind of get lost in this course, right?
I think you had Lugojevich on here just a couple of weeks ago, and he said the same thing.
They were taking snippets of his conversations and then changing the verbiage around to fit their narrative.
That's crazy, yeah.
And a lot of people do that with our content.
And that's easy to do when you have a longer form content.
They're like, oh my God, we have so many crazy things that they say.
Like, I'll be making a point and they're like, that's all that's wow.
I'm going to clip that and you know, go viral.
But yeah, I would say, like, with the, you know, with the way online dating has expanded and dating apps and Instagram, et cetera, it's really put women in the position of advantage when it comes to dating.
Women have all the leverage in dating nowadays, I would say, right?
And that's why I always say, guys, you know, your game as the guy is to attain the girl.
Her game as the woman is to retain you after she fucks.
But a lot of girls don't understand this.
They think, well, I have even more suitors in my inbox.
I got all these guys coming after me, but they don't realize that those guys just want sex.
But a lot of girls conflate sexual attraction with relationship attraction.
That's a fatal flaw a lot of modern women make as well.
And would you want to say that's like a vicious cycle?
Because that makes it worse.
Like you said, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
Because guys are going to get pissed off now and say, Damn, man, I really think I'm a great guy.
I'm pretty marketable.
I know I'm not a 10, but I'm a seven or an eight.
There's a big divide what's happening here.
Like Myron said earlier, where the top percent of guys are getting all the action and the guys in the middle are kind of squeezing, like, oh, wait, why won't you talk to me?
Like, what's going on?
It's because guess what?
They had a taste of the high life or they don't want a taste of it.
And as a result, you can't provide that.
So they don't give you a chance.
I've always said it like it's very difficult for women to regress from a relationship standpoint.
Once you deal with a certain caliber of man, it's like, oh, man, can I go back to dating an average guy?
We've had girls come on the pod, like, yeah, I've dealt with a rapper or celebrity, whatever it is, athlete, whatever.
Escuse their perception and the reality of what kind of man they can actually attract because they think, well, I fuck this guy.
I hung out with him for a weekend.
This is the caliber of man that I should be able to get all the time.
And they don't realize, no, he was just smashing you.
It was not that serious.
But girls will hold on to that and be like, this is the caliber of man I deserve now.
Myron, crazy question for you guys.
Crazy question.
Fast forward: 10, 20 years, you're grown up, you get married, you have kids.
Let's say you both have two daughters.
Oh, God.
Okay.
That's a curse.
Yeah.
Well, Pat has two boys, two daughters.
Let's say you both.
Let me tell you, Karma's a bitch, and I can see you both having some daughters.
I'm just putting that out there.
Hopefully, they're healthy and beautiful and amazing.
I want to hear the advice that you would tell your daughters.
Break your question.
So, speaking now, Fresh, if you need to take a second, bro, and take a sip of water, go ahead.
Oh, no, but I wanted the advice that you would tell your daughters.
Man, okay, so don't be a hoe.
You want the truth?
I want it all.
Get as graphic and as insightful as you possibly can.
I wish you were a boy.
But let me not start there.
No, because damn it, man.
No, you go first.
I'll just tell the truth.
Like, I would tell her a lot of the things I tell the girls on the pod, you know, like understand that your past defines you as a woman, unfortunately.
That's just the way it is.
Like, you know, men do care about the Carfax.
You know, you want a man with a future.
He's going to want a woman that doesn't have a past so that she doesn't fuck up his future.
And that's just the way men are, especially a guy that's worth a damn.
He's going to have a lot of stake in your past.
So that's number one.
You know, I would tell her, go to school, obviously, get your career and everything else like that.
But understand that, you know, you also need to take that same vigor and apply it to finding the right guy.
And I would be involved in her finding a guy as well.
I think that's a big mistake that a lot of modern women make is that they don't involve, you know, I always say to really get the best, how do I to find the best guy, you need a male on your team, right, that has your best self-interest.
No, not a guy friend that's trying to smash you that's on his side, like your dad, your brother, someone that is related to you that doesn't have a sexual interest in you, that actually likes you for you and loves you for you, the closest to ideal love.
And they will tell you, this guy isn't worth shit.
This guy isn't worth it, whatever.
And a lot of girls don't involve their brother or their father because, you know, it's awkward or I don't want him involved, whatever.
And they end up picking the fuckboys that don't want to take them seriously because women run off emotion.
This guy makes me feel a certain way, so I'm going to deal with him, even though he's a terrible example or a terrible potential mate.
So I would be involved in that.
I would also let her know the uncomfortable reality is that, yo, your past does matter.
Your career doesn't matter that much as well.
Like, you know, you can go to school and everything to be sufficient, but understand that that's not going to make you more marketable or attractive to a man.
You know, and I'll just give her the uncomfortable realities of men and women are very different.
And I think we live in a world now where we tell young girls, whatever, chase a career, you're the same as a man.
You can do anything a man can do.
Well, obviously, we know that's not true because when a transgender man enters NCAA as a swimmer, now he's a champion.
He was ranked 400-some, and now he's beating the shit out of all these girls.
It's like men and women are not the same.
We're different at certain things.
Men excel certain things.
Women excel certain things.
And for you to use a male metric of success is going to make you miserable long term.
How about you, Woah?
Yeah, so definitely, I'll tell you the truth, you know, because I don't want to lie to her.
I'll give her two options.
If you want a man, here's what you do.
If you want to be a hoe, it's what you do.
As a result, I can't force her to be what she's going to be.
She's going to choose on her own.
But I'll say this: I'll tell her, look, at the end of the day, men want sex.
But what do you want?
Do you want a family or do you want to be flying out here doing your thing?
As a result, choose the path you want to take.
And I'll just say this as well.
You're going to get fucked over.
However, how you react to it is going to determine what you do.
For example, some girls will get heartbroken and they go on a spiral where they go like, fuck every guy that they see because they're just mad or whatever.
Yo, at this point, what do you really want, daughter?
Do you want to be successful?
Do you want to be really mad?
Do you want to have marriage and kids?
Follow that path.
But most women, when they're, you know, look, the girls that are 21 to 24, they operate completely differently from the girls who are 27 to 32.
Totally, like, it's not even close.
So they're having fun, YOLO, and then as a girl hits that other thing, it's like, okay, you know, I need to slow down and find a guy.
See, here's the problem, right?
You can tell your daughter what to do, but bro, when it comes to like what she sees in front of her, bro, like niggas got game, niggas got money, niggas lifestyle.
That programming you give to her, it's for a period of time.
Once you get to certain age, it's like, well, this is fun.
My friends are doing it.
I'm going to have fun and live my lifestyle.
YOLO.
Now, Pat, you've got four kids.
I assume the conversations you have with the boys are going to be different than you're going to have with the girls.
I mean, Senna's five.
Brooklyn's a baby.
But walk us through how you're processing this as a father.
It's a risk.
I mean, you just have to know you're facing a risk.
You know, when you were talking about you're calling 13 years old, the dad's picking up.
If a 13-year-old guy calls me to want to talk to a girl, I'm calling Sammy the bullet.
You know, I need a favor.
But no, all jokes aside, I think the dynamics varies based on who's the oldest and the youngest.
Let me explain.
If you got a boy first and then you have a girl and the age difference, you have two examples, two layers of security.
If you got two boys and then you have two girls, you now have three layers of security for the girls, which is the oldest and the young.
So, like, for example, Tico is not that protective.
Tico's personality is more chill with how he is.
But Dylan, Dylan is the Dylan's going to be like, you do something to Senna, you're going to have to deal with Dylan, and Dylan's got to have a different personality.
But at the same time, he gave very good advice.
He said, someone's going to screw you over.
Then what are you going to do?
Because it's going to happen, right?
It's going to happen.
What are you going to do when somebody screws you over?
Your boyfriend does this to you.
You're going to go on revenge and go hook up with every single one of her friends, one of his friends, and try to get back at him.
Is that what you're going to do?
Because that's when you really learn.
It is going to take place to you.
I think the other part you got to think about as well is your values and principles and how you treat the mom.
The way you treat the mom she's watching and the way you treat her, she's going to think, that's how I want to be treated one day.
Because odds are, my dad, my daughters are probably one of them is going to date a guy like me.
And if they date a guy like me, and I know who I am, I know that dynamics of how he's going to want to be leading that family.
And she's going to watch you.
See, here's how you take care of mom.
Here's how I want him to take care of me as well.
Those dynamics are going to be.
You can say whatever you want.
Manual, book, 28 keys to being this and that.
She's listening to nothing.
Facts.
And she's just watching to what you're doing.
Period.
She's going to duplicate and go after the way you live your life.
That example is going to do more for you than having her reading 22 books.
Girls on the show that have a better grasp on dating and what they really want for imaging kids, their father was a good example to them.
And that's what they saw.
Not what they or your daddy issues.
What they saw.
So that does help in terms of getting them in that director.
Dads are so important, man.
It's amazing how dads are not respected in the Western general.
Oh, you don't need no man.
I don't need kids.
Like I always say, a strong dad will keep a girl off a shirt pole and sons out of jail.
Yep.
You know, your dad is the first line of defense to keep you from becoming a degenerate to society.
Well, you said the main job of a man is to keep his daughter off the pole.
Yeah.
Main job of a father.
Mission number one.
And Patrick, no lie, I remember this story way back when his daughter, or not daughter, sister Paulette, he said, hey, my sister Paulette's going to visit potentially this, that, and the other.
I'm like, oh, you got a sister?
Right?
And swix.
Patrick was like, listen, man, I'm going to tell you this.
You're my brother, and I love you.
You do anything or look in the wrong direction of my sister, you're going to have to deal with me.
So I can imagine, you know, Tico or Dylan would be the same thing.
So those layers of defense, I definitely know.
He's not lying with some out saying that.
One day she'll tell some of the stories publicly and you're going to crack up with some of the stories of what happened to her boyfriends.
One time she was dating this one guy.
And she told, the guy told her, you know, what she wanted to hear, which is, I love you.
Okay.
And then he screwed up royally.
Well, he went to World's Gym, which one of my friends was working out there.
And my friend knows that guy, who the guy is.
And I said, listen, if you guys see him in the street, I don't care where you are.
Beat the living fuck out of this guy.
And I rarely say that word on podcast.
But he went there.
It was a bad setting for him.
The guy was walked out.
He had a bad situation.
Never went back to the gym.
Never went back to that gym again.
And then we had a Christian.
I come back for Christmas.
This is when my, I was bad at that time.
I was not in a good, I mean, you knew me at that 1818.
We go to church.
My dad said, I want you to go to a Syrian church.
I said, I'm not going to Syrian church.
He said, I want you to dress in your military uniform and come to church.
So I'm wearing my greens.
Okay.
And I go to church.
Paulette's standing right here.
He shows up.
Damn.
He shows up.
So my dad at this point is like, he says, you can't do anything.
Everybody, I said, dad, that's not how I'm wired.
He says, you can't do anything.
I said, that's not how I'm wired.
I'm at church.
He says, you can't do anything.
Promise me.
That's my present.
That's why you're here.
I said, dad, I'm not wired like that.
You can't.
He shows up.
So the brother first shows up.
His name is his similar name as me.
And then he shows up.
I'm just holding him and I'm just pulling him inside.
I'm pulling him inside.
And I whisper something in his ears.
And then he walked out.
Here's the craziest thing.
Nine years later, I recruit him to be an agent.
Paulette recruits him to be agitated.
Not even kidding with you.
Wow.
11 years ago.
And I'm training.
And I'm 32 years old.
He's sitting in front of me.
I'm like, what are you doing here?
He says, hey, bro.
I said, dude, it was a long time ago.
How you doing?
How you feeling?
He says, man, I just remember.
I said, no, we're cool, man.
I gave my hug.
It was a very unique situation.
But you know, there's a dynamic of sister where you have to protect and you got to teach the kids that.
They have to know that.
But it's a sensitive topic when you have girls.
And no matter what you do, you ain't God.
You're not around them.
They're going to make a lot of money.
I will say this because I have a younger sister and she was the girl when I was a senior and she was a freshman.
All the boys, yo, Adam's sister.
Like, oh, man.
If you tell a girl, you can do whatever you want.
Just don't do this one thing.
She's going to do that.
That is exactly what the girl will do.
I had my friend Jenny, she was on the show.
Her older brothers would tell her, these are the guys that you cannot date.
She goes, I dated every single one of them.
Of course.
There's something in a female.
I don't even know.
It's human nature.
You tell someone, don't put your hand on the stove.
It'll burn it.
It's not that they're going to put their hands on.
It's both men and how we are.
But go back in time.
Adam and Eve.
What was the one thing she couldn't do?
Don't eat the apple.
Don't eat the apple.
I knew there was a pastor in this guy.
Listen, the more I listen to Fred, this guy's like a closet pastor about to be going to run one of the biggest churches, 5,000 members you see him on stage.
PBD exclusive.
I was actually going to be a pastor in Canada.
Funny story, man.
Barbados.
I didn't even know that.
So my grandmother's heavy in the church.
My granddad, not so much.
And every Sunday I'll go to church.
I was in a Christian school.
And I was raised to be this good guy, generous guy.
Long story short, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.
I got into a really bad motorcycle accident.
And my grandmother's like, hey, you know what?
Maybe you should be a pastor.
And I'm like, I haven't tried that.
Let me give it a try.
So I'm learning how to be a pastor.
I'm going to Sunday school, going to classes and stuff like that.
And there's a program where you can go to Canada for, I think, a period of months and then you become a pastor.
And I was like, you know what?
Come to Miami or become a pastor.
I thought about it.
Can this cold?
There's no girls, no lifestyle.
I'm going to be teaching people about God.
What do you choose?
Miami lifestyle or pastor?
I chose Miami.
That's crazy.
Well, I'm right there with you because my mom, to this day, thinks I'm going to be a rabbi.
So, wow.
Why aren't you a rabbi?
Ma, it's not.
It's going to happen.
Let me read this story.
I think this story has a little bit to do with, and by the way, we appreciate you for being vulnerable and emotional here on the podcast and tell us what you're talking about.
We give them a nice new international version Bible for the guy as a gift.
So here's a story from Goodman Project.
Women are not choosing bad men.
Men are choosing to be bad.
I like Steve Harvey.
I like him as a person, as a character, but as a dating coach, I don't know.
I watched a clip of him from last YouTube on YouTube.
And on it, a young woman expressed she was struggling to find a good man.
Steve Harvey's solution.
Well, why don't you stop dating bad ones?
The advice was so brilliant, I started sharing the kind of wisdom with men when they complain about their dating woes with women.
Oh, she cheated on you.
Well, why did you date a cheater?
Oh, the woman you ask out won't date you.
Maybe stop asking out women who aren't attracted to you.
Somehow the men got angry about the dating advice.
They found it's kind of dismissive and thoughtful, thoughtless.
Of the guys I fell in love with, of the guys I fell in love with, I don't regret dating them.
And I probably would love, would fall in love with the similar man in the future.
I didn't date the abusive liar or the guy who didn't understand sexual boundaries.
I date them.
Anyways, so the moral of the story is the following.
So is the idea of dating a bad guy?
Like, man, I'm attracted to these guys.
Is that what they're looking for?
And is that what they marry?
From a pastor, why don't you take the lead first?
I'm not a pastor, bro.
Pastor the word chill at this.
But I'll say this.
So bad women, bad men, right?
We want what we want.
However, there are some key things that women are attracted to.
And these traits, some of these bad guys have.
And let's be real here, right?
There's not really a lot of men today.
These guys are just wake up, go with the flow.
They're not really being men.
So as a result, most masculine men are guys that are like bad boys, outlaws, guys that are doing like crazy stuff.
And let's get turned on by that.
It's the truth.
No matter how you look at it, you could tell them, hey, you know what?
This guy's good for you.
He's going to take care of you.
Now I want a guy have fun with, have a good lifestyle.
So as a result, women are going to naturally go to war with those guys.
Now, regarding bad guys, I would say guys are who they are.
And they'll let you know up front.
So you choosing a bad guy, you literally know what you're getting into.
But guess what?
Their emotions, what they think it's possible how they could change the guy, they'll give it a shot.
And as a result, they go into these bad scenarios and then they say, oh, he hurt me.
But you saw the red flags at the very beginning.
But guess what?
He looks good.
He's tall.
He's crazy.
I'll give it a shot.
I might be able to change him.
But you were saying about being a bad guy.
I mean, isn't it easier to be a bad guy than it is to be a good guy?
I mean, if you're a good guy, you're going to school, you're working out, you're working on your career and stuff like that.
You're spending time, maybe if you're a single father or something like that with your kids.
I mean, that is something that's considered honorable and something that you're doing.
But to be a bad guy, just be a jerk and don't even have any thought process.
I mean, what do you think about that as far as, I mean, Adam, you're single.
You can comment on that.
Well, what they're talking about is bad.
I think there's three types of guys when it comes to cheaters.
There's number one, serial cheaters.
They just, they don't, whether they're upfront about it, whether it's hidden, whether they're like, look, I'm a polygamist.
I'd like multiple chicks, or whether they're just like kind of do it in secret.
So that's number one.
That's the serial cheater.
Then there's the number two, there's the opportunist.
Well, look, I wasn't planning on cheating, but I'm here at a, you know, a business trip in Vegas and some chicks talking to me and it's like, whoops, what is it?
Exactly.
Whoops, have that, you know, different area codes, whatever it is.
You know, so that's an opportunist.
And then there's a number third, the number three person.
It's like, I would never.
Yeah.
I would never.
And then that person, I would never, when they meet that opportunity, it's whether they will or they won't.
Yeah.
So that's how I kind of define most men, but it's most men are in that number two category.
They're not complete scumbag cheaters, you know, liars, and they're not 100%.
I'll always be faithful the rest of my life.
They're opportunists.
And if the opportunity meets a woman, and the thing is, is that so there's attractive guys and there's arousing guys.
And the thing is, is that a lot of women are really focused on the arousing guys, especially when they're younger and more attractive and they can actually negotiate for these higher status men that are actually arousing.
Because the thing is, is that as women make more money and become more successful and have their own career, they don't necessarily care about provisioning as much, especially when they're younger and more attractive.
It's like, okay, does this guy do it for me?
Does he arouse me?
Does he do it for me like mentally?
And unfortunately, the things that make you arousing to a woman, a lot of the times also are terrible traits to have when it comes to a long-term relationship.
You know, you're not being non-committal.
You're not showing her that much attention.
You're treating her like crap.
You're putting her like on the six on your party list of everything else.
And these things make you arousing to women because women respect men that don't necessarily chase their validation and the woman has to chase their validation.
And that's for you as a guy.
That's exactly where you want to be.
You always want the girl chasing you, feeling like she's getting the best deal because that's what's going to keep her in check.
That's going to keep her giving you the best treatment, not cheating on you, not doing stupid shit because she's like, damn, okay, I'm fighting to get this guy.
I know he has other girls.
This is what arouses me.
From a relationship standpoint, it's terrible.
But here's the problem.
Women are slaves to their emotions.
If a guy makes her feel a certain way, right, and it takes her through the emotional roller coaster, she's going to go ahead and side with that guy.
So the thing is, is that a lot of girls, I'm just going to be honest, don't like to take accountability for the type of men that they pick.
And I tell girls all the time, if you're going to date a man that's attractive, tall, has money, whatever, be prepared to share him.
But a lot of sexually, I mean, and a lot of girls don't want to hear that.
No, I want him to be monogamous to me.
Men ain't shit, blah, blah, blah.
Why can't he just be loyal?
Male loyalty and female loyalty is completely different.
Male loyalty is, is he going to protect you in times of danger?
Is he going to provision for you?
Is he going to take care of you?
Female loyalty is sexual fidelity.
But again, we're going back to how women think men or women are the same.
They think, well, you should also exercise sexual fidelity.
No, men and women are different.
For a guy, right?
We show our loyalty differently than you do.
You show your fidelity by not fucking other people.
I show my fidelity by being willing to die and protect you, right?
But a lot of girls don't understand that and they don't like it.
And I've always said it.
As a man goes up and up the socioeconomic totem pole, the more rare of a catch he is, the higher the likelihood he's going to cheat on you.
And it's kind of this delicate balance that girls don't understand as a catch 22.
You are going to become a slave to the very man that you want, but you don't have any negotiating power.
And that's another thing women forget, too, is that as you go up the totem pole, as a woman, you lose leverage.
You're not able to control this guy the same way.
But here's the problem.
That's women are aroused by.
They want a guy that they can't control.
But then they get mad when they don't have the control.
But then they come and run it back to him.
This is why toxic guys do so well because women can't necessarily control them, but that guy can control our emotions.
But men also have some sort of epiphany moment.
Like, let's take a look at the George Clooney's of the world, or even the Leonardo DiCaprios of the world, or the Derek Jeters.
There's baseball diamonds.
You've seen this thing, the Derek Jeters hit list, and it's like so-and-so in left field and Halle Berry in centerfield.
And, you know, the name after name after name, model after model.
But at some point, even a man will say, look, I've had enough.
Yeah, but here's the thing.
They'll say, I've had enough, and they'll get a girl and take her seriously for a while.
They'll be their main chick.
But I've always said it.
High-status men, nine out of ten times, are going to fuck other girls regardless.
Like a lot of the times, are there guys that are going to be monogamous?
For sure.
But out of possibility, if I lined up 100 high-value men that have options, whatever, athletes, celebrities, whatever it may be, I would argue probably 95 of them are going to go out and smash other chicks on the side.
There's women.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's a who's who of women.
And I think women don't understand and or like that when I tell them that if you're going to have a high-value man, you're not going to have him to yourself.
He's going to exercise options to have sex with other girls.
So just make peace with it in your mind that you are going to, like, it's great.
You have this high-gotten status guy that's, that's your boyfriend, but he's also going to have sex with other girls.
And that's not that big a deal, honestly.
Like, sex is not that big a deal for men.
It's like taking a piss.
Patrick.
Yeah, no, so he's telling this story.
It made me think about something.
We were hanging out with Seattle Supersonic players years ago.
I'm talking, I'm 25 years old, and they're telling stories.
And he says, let me tell you what the life is like.
What's the life like?
You know, Sean Kemp.
Sean Kim or Gary Payton.
Let me tell you what the life is like.
You go through, here's this city, here's that city, here's this city, here's this city, here's that city.
And I said, so I got a question for you.
What's that?
Why do NBA players get married?
If you're a star, what are you getting married for?
If you're a Hollywood star, what are you getting married for in your 20s?
If you're an actor, actress, what are you doing getting if you're a star and you got limelight on you?
The idea of you getting married, man, again, this is my opinion.
That number needs to probably start with a four, not even a two, not even a three.
It's probably more closer to four.
But we were in the military.
Like, why are you getting married in the military?
It's not a good idea to get married in the military.
Why?
You could have deployed for 18 months.
What do you think you're doing?
You're going to come back with a Popeye forearm on this side?
Like, oh, look at this guy.
Look a freaking bodybuilder.
The envision of that.
So what does that happen 18 months?
So don't get married in the military.
Three deployments.
Oh, yeah, three deployments.
What do you think happens in a situation like that?
I think you got to have a system for yourself as you get bigger.
One of the best things I look, I've been married 12 and a half years.
Shoot, you look at my Instagram, it's as if being married is a bigger target than being single.
Being married, it's more interest because can I break you?
Can I do this?
There's a target for that, right?
And your supporting cast is number one, not saying what the third guy says because you're a bigger, like that guy right there with the four.
But this is what I was going to tell you, is the supporting cast.
Here's how our supporting cast works.
I read a book one time from Billy Graham.
This is back in the days in the 60s, 70s, 80s, when all these pastors having stories with girls left and right.
And he's like, wait a minute, what the hell are you guys doing?
So Billy Graham said, listen, when we travel, we share rooms.
He says, I used to do with one of our guys.
He says, now when I travel, we have to be in a room with three of us.
You're like, why would you do three?
Why not just have a buddy?
He says, because when it's just you and a friend, you can convince your friend, listen, no one's going to know.
He says, but when it's three of you, one is going to say, no, guys, we can't do it.
There's one voice of reason.
Yeah, he says one time they went into a hotel room.
He says a girl was waiting in the room, half naked.
He says, we just ran out.
He said, we left it or we just ran out because, you know, that's how stories are written.
So you got to be careful nowadays.
There's a target on everybody.
And the more you said you can't be a target, the bigger of a target you really are.
Does that make sense?
Oh, it'll never happen to me.
Oh, really?
Oh, you're Mr. Perfect?
No problem.
Here's 88 people that are going to try to break what they can't have.
And that's why Bachelor is so attractive.
So it's funny.
I made an Instagram post, right?
It's clearly satirical here.
I said I'm celibate.
Yo, you would know a believer's response I got on Instagram.
Yo, they were like, really?
I'm going to challenge you.
I'm going to break that tonight.
You're going to break it.
Yo, dude, girls are going crazy.
And I was like, yo, imagine if you were married, bro, how much target you are.
Like you said earlier.
It's crazy, bro.
Girls get mad, but I always say it, like, having other women makes you more attractive.
There's a reason why women want to be in a VIP with a rapper when he has a bunch of other chicks there.
Or why you go on a music video set, like you see girls of different shapes, colors, and sizes.
Like, men like variety.
It's been that way since the beginning of time.
And even if a guy has a main girl, he's going to want to have, you know, something different every now and then.
Now, do most guys, do, are all guys going to be able to enact on it?
No, probably not.
But if you give a guy, I always say, you take the most loyal guy, give him $2 million, a fucking blue check on Instagram, a Lamborghini in a mansion for a couple of weeks, he's probably going to start smashing some chicks.
Let me ask you guys one question.
One last question.
It's 11 o'clock.
Okay, go ahead.
Quick question.
That's a quick question.
Go ahead.
If there's one song that every woman in the history of women likes, what's the first song that comes to mind?
Girls.
Just want to have fun.
Exactly.
So I want to get your thoughts on why every girl likes this song and what they mean by just want to have fun.
And obviously, the more money you have to sponsor this type of fun, the more opportunities you have.
So quick thoughts on this song.
It embodies what girls say.
For example, I don't want to be bored.
You know?
You guys are funny.
I was just trying to get my wife's karaoke at my house the other for New Year's.
So thanks a lot, man.
So what is it?
Just to be quick, basically, it embodies what girls want.
Want to have a good time.
They don't want stress.
They don't want to be annoyed.
They just want to have a good time.
They don't want to be bored.
And as a result, a lot of guys are boring.
So this song means to them, hey, you know what?
This is my anthem that you said earlier.
I'm going to have fun.
Don't mess it up.
And I want a guy that's going to give me that fun without any stress.
Yeah, I mean, if I'm going to boil it down to two words, it's plausible deniability.
You know, girls always want to be able to reserve the right to have that plausible deniability.
Like, it just happened.
It was natural.
It just manifested.
That's why girls are so into spirits or whatever.
Like, you know, women get the privilege of being able to say, oh, what's your sign?
And all this other shit and imagining stuff.
But guys, we actually got to go out there and make it happen.
Because I always say men live in a fact-based reality.
Women tend to live in a Disney fairy tale.
So girls just want to have fun.
Creates plausible deniability.
It's ambiguous enough where you don't not really know what they mean by fun, but let's be honest.
It typically means partying, meeting other guys, hanging out, doing shit.
And it may or may not lead to having sex, but you know.
And not being judged.
And not being judged.
There you go.
Go ahead, Todd.
All right, real quick, super chat from Cece.
Do you guys ever miss your old life where you were more private and weren't a target?
Ooh, you want to hit it first?
You know what's funny, bro?
I got way more girls.
I was more happy when I wasn't with anybody because it just felt like I could do what I want without being looked at with a magnifying glass.
Now it's kind of like, oh, he's talking to her?
Let me look at her pass.
Oh, he's doing this.
It's like, bro, I'm just having fun, man.
Like, leave me alone.
Boys just want to have fun.
That's it.
Thank God you're celibate now, so you don't have to worry about any of that, bro, right?
Not anymore.
But, fellas, go ahead.
Myron.
Yeah, no.
Closing thoughts.
Yeah, I definitely got more girls before.
And for me, it's different because I used to be a federal agent.
Just like you would, you know, you would have your privacy.
That was very important, right?
So, like, now being in the limelight, it's like a 180 change.
So, I got more girls and definitely was fun.
I like what I'm doing now.
I love it, but it was a completely different lifestyle from what I was doing a couple years ago.
All right, so here's what we're doing.
So, the takeaway today is the following.
Okay.
Fresh as a pastor.
Okay.
Myra's eventually going to be married with kids.
Daughter's having a blast right now, getting tens of millions of eyeballs, which is hard to do.
Okay.
Creating a podcast and building it up ain't easy, folks.
I'm just telling you, you got to entertain.
You got to create controversy.
You got to piss people off.
You got to make people laugh, but you keep coming back.
So if you want to find out more about their podcast and you're not subscribed to it, put the link below for people to go find out about it.
Felix, I really enjoyed having you guys on.
No, it was great.
This was classic.
It was great having you guys on.
Thank you.
Felix, it was great having you on as well.
I'm sure.
We're coming back.
And having said that, are we doing podcast Thursday or no?
Yes.
Podcast Thursday with Leon Cooperman.
Perfect.
Oh, Leon, here's a guy that's worth a few billion dollars that they said, what did I do wrong to an interview with WAPO?
And I called him up.
I said, listen, I know you're worth $3 billion.
Can we talk about why they're giving you so much shit for you being rich?
