All Episodes
Previous Next
Sept. 13, 2024 - Dr. Oz Podcast
41:31
Conquer Your Biggest Fears & Avoid Health Risks | Dr. Oz | S6 | Ep 154 | Full Episode
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Today on Oz, spooked by spiders.
We get to a point in our life where we say enough is enough.
See how to push past fears and phobias.
I'm dedicating the entire show to show you how to conquer your biggest fears.
Plus, she thought she was cursed with bad luck.
I was living my life in fear.
How Mariel Hemingway overcame her fears and found peace.
Coming up next on Dr. Oz.
I have never liked heights.
But if you live behind your fears, you don't know what you could be missing out on.
And when it's left untreated, fear puts your health at risk.
Now is the time to break through and conquer your fears because everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear.
Woo!
I did it!
I conquered my fear of heights.
I finally completely let go of something that has helped me back since childhood.
I have never felt better.
And you know what?
I want to do the same for you today.
I'm dedicating the entire show to show you how to conquer your biggest fears.
From the things that hold you back in life and wreak havoc on your health, such as We're going, for example, to the doctor, people like me.
Or when we're going in there to deal with money, get anxious about stuff.
We're going to all those dark places, those scary places together.
Plus, Meryl Hemingway is here, candidly opening up about her own deep personal fears.
So I want you to stay with me because I promise you this could be the first step to better health and the emotional freedom that you want.
So I'm going to go over and meet with psychologist Dr. Todd Parcione.
He's the director of the Boston University Program...
To panic disorders and phobias.
So what are the biggest ways that fear affects our health?
Were you proud of me, by the way?
Great job.
Excellent.
Like Peter Pan up there?
Fantastic.
It's so freeing.
I remember being so...
I get these butterflies and now I can actually open and be free.
That's great.
I mean, you're doing exactly what I'm going to talk about today and exactly what I think is important in being able to do.
So chronic anxiety and fear actually can have longer-term effects on health.
It's tied to increased levels of cortisol, which has also been linked to a lot of different health problems, things like obesity, difficulty sleeping, cardiac problems or heart problems, and even depression.
I mean, the list really goes on and on.
These are familiar to you all?
Because this is the biggest stuff you asked me about.
It's the biggest things that hold us back from being who we could be in life.
Where do these fears come from?
There must be some reason for them.
And why do they turn into these phobias that hold us back?
Right.
Well, fear is really in the brain.
And it serves a very important protective function for us.
We need it.
We need fear.
The fight-or-flight response is a good thing.
But sometimes those fears can become too much.
And they balloon into a phobia.
And really with a phobia, what you're looking at is that the fear is an excess...
of the true danger of the situation.
And what happens is people respond to it in a certain way that causes problems for them and really interferes with their life.
And the big problem with fears is that people are not living in the way that they would like to live.
And so it's so important to be able to overcome that.
So how do we help people today with their fears?
Well, what we need to do is we need to face our fears.
And the way that we do that is with what's called exposure therapy.
And exposure therapy is designed to really help somebody gradually approach the thing that they're afraid of and essentially retrain the brain.
So there's this part of the brain that's saying, oh, that's scary.
There's something really dangerous there.
And we have to sort of say, no, it's not.
We do that by approaching as opposed to avoiding the situation.
So let me pick, if I can, an example.
Spiders.
One of the things we fear most, for good reason.
It's a reason to run from spiders.
How many folks in the audience are worried about spiders?
Yeah, a lot.
A lot.
Let me introduce you to Suzanne.
She's over here.
She's been afraid of spiders since she was a child, I understand.
Thank you.
Welcome to the show.
So describe how you feel when you come face to face with a spider or even think about the concept.
Well, I start to scratch all over.
I feel like they're crawling on me.
I get anxious.
I can't look anywhere else.
I feel like if there's a spider in the room, I have to find where it is and not go in that area.
They jump.
So...
Jumping spiders.
You just never know.
I think they might be in my hair.
I think they just might be on me.
And I just...
I scratch all over.
So why today?
Why now do you want to face this fear and get past it?
Well, I have a son who's nine, and I took him camping last year.
He's a Boy Scout.
And I decided, okay, let's do this together.
I became a scout leader.
And as we're in the woods, I saw a spider.
It was the size of my fist.
Ooh, it's a big spider.
I was with my son and a few of the younger cubs.
I nearly left a troop of children by themselves on a mountain in New Jersey because I was terrified.
Yeah, Naira, you have a tattoo on your body of a spider?
I do.
When I was young...
Is it an invisible location?
It is.
I gotta...
Oh, there is a...
Yes.
May I? Yes.
Can you all...
Why would you tattoo a spider to your body if you're fearful of them jumping on you?
Well, I was 17, so automatically I was dumb.
I was dumb.
I did not know any better.
Not true for all 17-year-olds, but most of us who aren't 17 think we were.
I thought that this would have helped.
For about a month after I got the tattoo, every time I got out the shower and saw it, I actually beat myself because I was so scared that something was on me and it hurt so bad.
I just, yeah, it wasn't the best idea.
But it didn't work?
It didn't work.
No.
You're doing the right thing.
So, Dr. Parkioni says the first step to conquer your phobia is to break your fear down into actionable steps.
So, as an example with spiders, how would you do this?
Well, spiders, I think it's just important.
I mean, any fear, you want to make it more manageable.
So you break it down to these small steps.
So backstage, we were actually looking at some pictures of spiders, right?
And that could be an early step.
Other steps might include things like imagining touching a spider or coming into contact with a spider.
It might involve going to the pet store and looking at the spider through the glass.
And even those steps can be broken up into smaller pieces.
But it's important to have a plan.
Now, how are you going to approach this thing that you're afraid of?
Because you want to avoid it.
You don't want to go in the direction of the thing that you're afraid of, and so that's the whole idea, breaking into smaller pieces.
Right.
So I'm going to take you to the next level right now, if that's okay.
What's the next level?
Well, I have an assistant, one of my medical unit students, who has a spider with her, and I'm going to ask her to bring it out if it's okay with you.
I'm not going to force you, and I've learned this from Dr. Farkino, there's no forcing here.
And I know, we're always laughing and smiling, but I know this is uncomfortable.
I've lived it with heights for my whole life.
Okay.
Jen, bring her out, please.
The spiders are female, I think.
Although I'm not very good at telling genders and spiders.
I'm gonna hold your hand here.
I know this is hard.
If I can get too close to you, it's bigger than I expected.
Thank you very much, Jen.
So the key thing right now is to not look away.
Continue to look at it.
And remember, I mean, your body is responding in the way that it's going to respond.
You're going to feel fear in reaction to the situation, all right?
You know, Dr. Oz, it's really important to remember that courage isn't about not being afraid.
It's about being afraid and facing it anyways.
And that's what we're trying to do today.
So well said.
Yeah.
So if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to take the top off.
Okay, so let me just move it a little bit so you can see what's going to happen with the spider, okay?
Because you have a belief that it's going to jump at you or it's going to try to attack you, okay?
I'll block it if it comes.
I'll be here.
I'm not afraid of spiders.
We can take care of it.
So I'm just going to move it slightly, okay?
Okay, now it might move a little bit just because of the noise and just because of the movement around it, all right?
Okay.
It's more scared than you are, I bet.
Okay.
I'd like you to try to take a step for me, which is to put your hand where I have my hand right now.
Just put your hand here.
Again, it's not doing anything.
What's it doing right now?
It's waiting for me.
It's waiting for you.
It's just sort of sitting there.
I'm not even sure it's alive at this point.
I mean, it's just sitting there.
But if you could place your hand right here, that would be fantastic.
It's alive.
You know, that's what they do.
We're all going to do it together.
They wait for their prey.
Okay.
I've seen animal planets.
Very nice.
World expert on spiders.
Very good job.
Okay.
I'm just going to take my hand away, and I'd like you to keep your hand where it is.
So you can see we're trying to approach it gradually.
We're taking one step at a time.
You okay, Tigress here?
Okay.
My hands are a little sweaty.
You're doing a great job.
You're doing a great job.
Again, that's just the physical response.
That's fear.
And that's okay.
It is.
It's okay.
Okay?
We just want to keep practicing approach as opposed to avoidance.
We want to keep going closer and closer to it.
Okay?
So now I'm going to take the top off if that's okay with you.
You have to give me the okay.
I'm not going to do it unless you give me the okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Perfect.
Okay, great.
Oh, this is great.
You're doing such a great job.
This is really hard for her.
Everybody needs to know how hard this is for her.
Okay?
She's shaking up here.
She's shaking right now.
Okay, you're doing a great job.
Okay, now what I'm going to do is I'm going to show you what I think would be a great next step for you, which would be to just place your hand right here.
Okay?
You think you can do that?
We're getting close now.
We're getting close now.
You're trembling.
I know this is hard.
Okay, perfect.
You're doing so great.
You can wipe your tear.
It's okay.
It's alright.
You're doing so great.
Okay.
Keep breathing.
Keep breathing.
It's alright.
What you're trying to do is tell that part of your brain that this thing is not dangerous.
And it's not.
It's not.
Look how much bigger you are compared to this.
Really, honestly.
These things are very delicate, by the way.
So now I'm going to put my hand inside.
And look, it's not moving.
It's staying exactly where it is.
It's not attacking me, is it?
What do you see?
Now I want you to try to do something similar here.
And we'll see what happens.
Okay, you can always pull it back, right?
Big step.
Big step.
That's a huge step.
I don't know.
Okay.
You can do it.
No more fear now.
I'm so scared.
That's okay.
Just place it down.
All you have to do.
Perfect.
You did it.
You did it.
Can I take it off?
Are you kidding?
That's great.
You're already doing it.
Your stare is not moving.
I wouldn't change anything.
Okay.
We're getting close now.
We're getting close.
The goal is to be able to touch this.
That's not happening.
Okay.
Or maybe not.
Maybe the goal is to put your hand inside the cage.
No, I think it would be great, though.
It would be such a beautiful step here in facing your fear.
And rising above it is to be able to touch it here.
All right?
What I'd like you to do is just touch it right on the back.
Just brush it, okay?
Just try to brush it.
But why is it hairy?
Like...
Keeps it warm, protects it.
It's a tarantula, yeah.
Yes.
You can do it.
You can do it.
You got it.
Very nice.
Oh god.
Might be useful.
There you go.
You can rest your wrist down.
There it is.
Yes.
Oh my god.
I didn't tell you earlier, but the applause makes them jump.
No, I'm kidding.
I am so proud of you.
I bet you didn't think you'd be able to do much of what you just did.
I certainly didn't.
No.
If today's show is about that, we can do anything to put our minds to it.
We'll be right back.
Next.
Do you avoid paying bills or feel panic when looking at your bank account?
Is money anxiety the reason you're broke and can't get ahead?
Stop swinging from saving money to splurge spending.
The plan to separate your emotions from your finances.
Coming up next.
All new Oz.
Convinced he lived a past life.
I get goosebumps hearing this stuff.
Prove reincarnation may be real.
How does this happen?
All new Oz.
That's coming up tomorrow.
Sometimes we have a clear fear, like fear of spiders, as we just saw with Suzanne.
But sometimes we have underlying fears that hold us back in very unexpected ways.
Would you ever think that money anxiety could be the reason that you're broke and can't get ahead?
Take a look at these questions.
Think about that concept.
Is it possible being fearful of the money is the problem, not the money itself?
These questions might help you figure this out.
See if you can relate to them.
First off, do you avoid paying bills?
Do you feel panic when looking at your bank account so you never check it?
You see your head going like this.
And do you go back and forth between pinching pennies and overspending?
You know, a lot of eyes opening to these.
So this is exactly what's happening to Tiffany.
Take a look.
I would say one of my biggest fears in life would be not having enough money.
There's nothing that scares me more than to see the money in my checking account go down.
My account one time almost went to zero and it really freaked me out.
As the bills come in, I avoid opening them.
Even though I have enough money in the bank, I want to prolong it as long as I can before I have to pay it.
I'd rather see a high amount of money in my checking account than a low balance.
I think my fear of not having enough money started when I was a young girl.
I was raised by my grandmother and she drilled it into me that saving money was really important.
She gave me a jar to put my money in so I could see how much money I was saving.
So that visual of me seeing a lot of money in that jar really stuck with me.
I'll try to save so I have a cushion, but unfortunately I feel like we're still living paycheck to paycheck.
My husband and I are both teachers and we have major student loans to pay.
On top of that we have our mortgage and our three kids.
We're also helping our mother-in-law financially.
There's always something that comes up and there goes the budget.
The anxiety that I'm having around money, it is taking a little bit of toll on my health.
Sometimes I may get a little bit moody and take it out of my husband.
Sometimes I emotionally eat just to ease the stress.
I wish I didn't have so much fear surrounding money.
I think with all the energy that I'm putting into trying to have more money, that I will have more money by now.
But instead, I feel like there's never enough.
Tiffany is joining us as well as Manisha Thakur, one of the country's leading financial experts for women and the creator of MoneyZen.
Tiffany, you were raised by a grandma, loved you dearly, and she encouraged you to save.
What was that like?
It was awesome.
Living with my grandmother, I had a very great childhood.
Oh, it's wonderful.
And she really instilled a lot in me.
She made me who I am today.
So for you, in many ways, money is about love.
It's about security and safety.
Yes, yes.
We were a middle-class family, so she always talked to me about the importance of saving money, having a cushion to fall back on, keeping money in the house just in case something came up.
What is it that's going on in you when you swing from pinching pennies to splurging and spending everything you just saved up with all that hard work?
Well, my husband talks to me about enjoying life.
So sometimes I just want to take a break and enjoy family.
So we take vacations from time to time and we go out to eat just to take a break.
So I want to take a very different approach to a problem that so many of our viewers, including you, are struggling with.
You say, actually, we have to overcome money anxiety without making any more money and without changing how we pay off our bills.
And I'm going to say this at the outset, we live in a society where the overarching message, hear me out here, the overarching message is there's never enough.
You all feel that?
If only I had more would be better.
That's not the right thing.
Let's go back to that fundamental money anxiety issue.
Right, and so here's the interesting thing.
The root cause of money anxiety isn't actually money.
It's not about numbers.
It's not about spreadsheets.
It's about emotions.
And these emotions stem from our earliest money memories and the messages that we got from them and that we continue to get from society as a whole.
That's why I asked those questions at the very beginning.
I want to go through this, everybody.
Please remember these questions.
They're vital to understanding what money anxiety is about.
You avoid paying bills.
Diagnose yourself if you do.
You panic when you're looking at your bank account, so you never check it.
Right?
That's you.
And you go back and forth between pinching pennies and overspending.
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then you're not alone.
And I think, if you don't mind, put your hands up if that's true for any of you.
Those of you who answered yes to one or more, see, look around.
This is the norm.
It's not the exception.
So what is the secret sauce here?
What is going to allow you to help us overcome money anxiety so we get past these problems?
So as we just saw, money anxiety is pervasive.
And the simple secret is in these four words.
Live from authentic joy.
And what that means is the solution isn't numerically based.
It's about teaching yourself a whole new way to think about spending and saving so that you're doing these activities in a way that's in alignment with your deepest goals and values.
And the upside of this is when you do it, Not only do you increase your financial security, but you also dramatically reduce that money anxiety you've been feeling.
Sound good to you?
Sounds good to me.
I can't wait to put it into practice.
We come back to Plan to Overcome Your Money Anxiety.
Stay here.
Coming up next.
Is money anxiety holding you back from living your best life?
We have a whole new approach to increasing your wealth by tackling money issues head on.
Easy steps anyone can follow.
The plan to overcome your financial anguish.
Coming up next.
Today we're helping you conquer all of your fears, Now we have a plan to overcome the money anxiety holding you back from living your best life.
Money Zen expert Manisha Takora has given us a whole new approach to increasing wealth by tackling money anxiety head on.
It's not about the money folks, it's about the anxiety.
Let's get to this plan.
First, you say we need to actually use a 50-30-20 rule in order to separate your emotions from money.
The 50-30-20 rule is a simple rule of thumb that you can use as a benchmark to assess whether you're off balance in your spending.
And it works like this.
In an ideal world, roughly 50% of your income would go towards needs, 30% towards wants and 20% towards savings.
And the key problem that most of us have is it's really hard to distinguish between needs and wants.
So let me give a quick example.
Your needs will include things like housing, transportation, the foods you really need to eat, insurance, childcare, and mandatory debt pay down.
The wants are all the fun stuff, whether it's your beauty regimen or it's clothes or it's drinks out with friends or coffees.
And savings is the money that you are both putting aside for the future for retirement or your emergency fund.
And I also have altered this equation because so many people are struggling with student loans like you and your husband are and credit card debt.
Any payments towards those debts above and beyond the minimum monthly payment I include in savings because you're saving the interest.
So let me not push you about this issue of emotional spending.
And there's a lot of things that we use the word should around them.
These are emotion-based shoulds.
How do we define them and how do we avoid them?
Oh, the tyranny of shoulds.
It affects us all.
With kids, it can be what school they go to, what after-school programs they belong to, what summer camps.
And with those of us who are adults, it can be the car we drive, the clothes we wear, where we take the vacation.
So the shoulds are all the things that we feel externally that we should do, and the answer to turning it around is to ask yourself, does this truly bring me authentic joy?
And if it doesn't, it's a should, and you can cut it out without cutting out joy.
So Tiffany, what are the shoulds in your life that you might be able to eliminate?
Something that does not bring you authentic joy?
Hmm.
I was thinking while she was talking about some of the things that the kids like to do.
Like they're in chess, they're in soccer.
And I was trying to think of something that we should not do because I really like exposing them to different things.
Maybe we should not go out to eat as much as we do.
They're trade-offs, exactly.
And that's a classic one is identifying if those activities are making everyone happy and your pie is 100, something has to give.
What is it that you could take out that wouldn't dramatically reduce the happiness your family's experiencing?
The last step is maybe the most important is to get financially naked.
The imagery is interesting.
Financial nakedness.
I say if we all got financially naked in America we would shriek at what we all see.
And getting financially naked actually does involve numbers.
It's the process of being really clear with yourself about what your household income is and in aggregate what your household expenses are.
And if, like most Americans, you find that your expenses are roughly equal to your income and there's nothing left over for savings, that's a red flag that you're out of balance.
That's the time to start asking the tough questions.
And here's an example.
You might say, I want a big house.
So you ask yourself, why is that?
Is it because in every room of this house that I walk in, my heart sings when I walk into this room?
Or is it because you feel like you need a big house to show you're successful?
And so it's the difference between the external validation and what in your soul is really lighting you up.
And when individuals are able to combine the 50-30-20 rule with looking back at those money memories and messages, thinking about what shoulds they can push out of the gate, you're able to change your financial actions that then reduces your money anxiety.
What do you think?
Is that helpful for you?
It is helpful for me.
I'm trying to think of more shoes that I should take out now.
You know my big takeaway?
I think I want to do this a little exercise.
Figure out what gives you so much joy you don't want to give it up.
And everything else is going to be second nature.
So if you can go to a coffee shop and have coffee every day and it brings you an incredible amount of joy, then you don't have to go spend a lot of money on expensive meals or vacations and things that actually might not be so affordable for you.
Find those examples in your lives and apply them.
Good luck.
We'll be with you.
She's going to give you lots of advice.
Mrs. Good at this stuff.
Thank you so much for the advice.
We'll be right back.
By the way, all the information from our True Tube experts on DrRoz.com.
Find the full plan there as well.
Be right back.
How do you save money on your health and beauty routine?
Instead of spending money on expensive conditioners, I use coconut oil.
I've been adding it to my hair for years and I always get compliments on it.
It's my little secret.
Well, our secret now.
Tell us on Facebook.com slash DrOz.
Coming up next, actress and author Mariel Hemingway.
Depression.
Bad relationships.
She's no stranger to overcoming a family history of troubles.
The lessons she learned to conquer her struggles with the past.
And what they can teach you.
Next.
All new Oz.
Convinced he lived a past life.
I get goosebumps hearing this stuff.
Proved reincarnation may be real.
How does this happen?
All new Oz.
That's coming up tomorrow.
I'm inviting my next guest because he's so much great resilience in overcoming what's considered a family curse.
For anyone who is afraid of their past catching up with them, whether it's a troubled family history, bad relationships, depression, anything, actress and author Mariel Hemingway has gone through the worst of it and has emerged knowing how you can overcome your fears every day.
Mariel Hemingway is here.
Please join us.
You did a lot.
You look fabulous.
How are you?
It was so good.
Thank you.
I'm so happy you're here.
We met many, many years ago.
Yes, we did.
In a faraway galaxy.
Yes, in a radio room.
Long, long, far away.
It is wonderful to see you again.
Thank you very much.
Well, I have to be honest.
I don't think I consciously was aware of that, but I was terrified.
I was living my life in fear.
And, you know, I did a documentary called Running From Crazy that I really thought that...
I mean, actually, when my sister died, I actually thought, oh, no, I'm the only one left.
Like, I actually thought, before I really understood mental illness, addiction, all of those things, I thought, oh, my God, it's almost like a virus.
I've caught it.
Sad.
But the truth is, you know, and all of my behaviors were so, like, extreme.
I did extreme exercise, extreme dieting, extreme this, extreme that.
All in the search to find peace, to find a tranquility, you know, until I started to realize that the answers lied within me.
I always do.
You know, like so many people who have fears in their lives, challenges, you turn from chaos to order.
Literally, she said she fought chaos with order.
Yes, I did.
Yes, I did.
So, how did that affect your health?
You know, as I got older and realized, wait, I have control over my life, I'm not going to wake up crazy, I started to understand that my lifestyle had a lot to do with, you know, coming to grips with myself, coming to a sense of peace and, you know, moderate, eating well but eating moderately and doing, you know, doing things in moderation and being, you know, learning how to meditate, exercising with moderation, doing things that worked for me.
Yeah, the extremes always seem to offer the illusion of peace.
Absolutely.
Of tranquility, because you've simplified life, but it does the opposite.
Well, and I kept thinking, well, if I can control this, I can control my life.
And, you know, the great irony is that we have control over so little But we can make good choices.
And that's what I started to understand is like, wait, all these people don't have answers for me, but if I get still enough, if I get quiet, I actually have those answers.
Through meditation, through mindfulness, through just doing one thing at a time.
Instead of multitasking, which we all think we're so good at, I realized...
You know what?
We're actually not very good at it.
No, we're not at all.
You know, do one thing at one time.
It's like, you know, the Buddhist thing.
Chop wood, carry water.
That's right.
When you're enlightened.
Yeah.
There was a major turning point in your life.
When you were invited, you were on Manhattan, the movie we mentioned earlier.
Yes.
Woody Allen had directed it.
He invited you to go with him to Paris.
You were 18, I believe.
Yes.
Would you let everyone know what happened?
This is just such a crazy story.
I mean, it's one very small story in the book.
And I tell this story not because it's about Woody Allen or what have you.
I tell it because it was a place where I had to find my voice.
In many places in my life, I always had to stick up for myself.
I was actually looking for my parents to do it, and they didn't.
So I was left.
Anyway, he wanted me to go to Paris.
And I had just made this movie, which I was playing his girlfriend.
And, you know, you saw the clip of Manhattan.
And I played a character named Tracy, and she was very sophisticated.
She was a New Yorker, and she was dating this older man.
Mariel Hemingway from Idaho was definitely not a sophisticated New Yorker.
I'd never had a boyfriend.
I think my first make-out kiss was on camera, you know?
So for me, I was like, it dawned on me.
He had come to visit me in Idaho, which I... You know, he showed me Manhattan, I'm gonna show him Idaho.
And I thought, I realized that my parents were, you know, they didn't have the boundaries that I wish they'd had, and I realized, you know, I'm not gonna get my own room in Paris, so, you know, I can't go.
So I woke him up in the middle of the night, he was down in the guest room, and I said, I can't go to Paris with you, I'm not gonna get my own room.
And he looked at me like, are you crazy?
And he was very respectful and he left and I barely ever saw him again.
But it was just about me finding my voice.
I mean, that's what it was about.
So many times in our lives we're given these crossroads where you have to make a choice.
And I realized that it was always about me Being true to myself, and I could never cross those lines that were uncomfortable for me, you know?
Leaving your parents out of this, because I think you have a very savvy insight about the fact we don't create barriers and borders when we need to sometimes.
What do you think about Woody Allen's actions now, the accusations anyway that have been made about him from his adopted daughter, Dylan, having witnessed what you did when you were 18?
You know, for me, he was extremely respectful of me.
He never pushed himself on me.
I don't know what was going on and I wasn't in contact with him.
I think he's an amazing artist.
I think he's a great creative genius.
But I, you know, for me to have an opinion about that, I'm not a part of his life.
I don't know him.
You know, I don't.
It's not for me to pass judgment.
He treated me very well and my story was really about my journey and about my having to make choices.
I loved your grandfather's work.
I used to, when I was in college, there's a very old library at Harvard, and I would sign out books, including one called Farewell to Arms, which is my favorite of all.
There's a quote in this book.
It's actually in your book.
It says, the world breaks everyone, and afterward, some people are strong at the broken places.
So which broken places do you think you're strongest at?
Well, I actually used the quote in the book.
It's so good.
No, I saw it in the book.
It's what it reminded me.
It's so...
It's such a powerful quote because I think we can all relate to, you know, we're all given challenges in life.
Not one of us gets away scot-free.
You know, I come from this amazing family and everybody might think, oh, wow, you're a Hemingway.
You have no problems.
I'm like, oh, I really wish that were true.
But our challenges, you know, our fears, our things that make us scared are really the things that make us strong.
Because when you take time to actually look at them, and I often talk about this with people, it's like, you know, because people are so afraid to look at things.
I'm so, you know, I don't want to go back.
Those memories are so frightening.
And by the way, when you do that, it's never as bad as when you're thinking about it.
It's so true.
Is that true for all of you?
Think about it.
We go into our head, which is, of course, behind enemy lines.
You cannot beat your fears if you don't embrace them.
And I think you're...
Absolutely.
Ernest Hemingway said it, and you're saying it to me right now.
Yes.
I've treasured having you on.
If it's okay with you, I'm going to take the quote that I just gave you, put it on my Instagram, and you can repost it and tag it to someone you think it might encourage.
You can check out Mariel's new book, Out Came the Sun.
It is absolutely fabulous.
It's also out now.
We'll be right back.
Coming up, are you afraid to go to the doctor?
How long has it been since you've seen your family physician?
That fear could have major consequences on your health.
Protect your future.
Simple steps to overcome your fear and get the most out of your doctor's visit.
Next.
We are bringing a healthy back this season and want you to bring it too.
Grab your prescription pad for fun and sign up for free tickets today.
You can go to DrRoz.com/tickets and sign up.
Today's show has been about overcoming fears, and I'm talking to all of you who are afraid to go to the doctor.
People like me.
The front row of this audience are all these wonderful people.
They say they haven't been to a family physician in years.
One of the reasons why?
Fear.
But could your fear have a big consequence on your health?
So, I just want to number.
How many years since you last saw your family doc?
Two years.
Two.
Three years.
Three.
Four or five.
That's a long time.
How about you?
Eleven.
Eleven years?
Yes.
I'm embarrassed to say eleven years.
Oh yeah, kind of.
Alright, well let's talk to all of you about this.
In fact, I brought someone who's an expert no one knows better than Dr. Wanda Feiler.
She's president-elect of the American Academy of Family Physicians.
What is going on with those wonderful people in my audience and so many other Americans?
Why are they afraid to see their doctor?
Dr. Oz, a lot of people are afraid of seeing their physician, and one of the things I'd like to do today is try to help them overcome that.
I think a lot of people are afraid of what they might hear.
They're afraid of some of the questions that are going to be asked, and sometimes it's very uncomfortable.
If they've had any kind of maybe traumatic experience, even in their childhood, they might be afraid to go to the physician.
If they're worried about what the diagnosis might be, they've got all these fierce things they've read, but the reality is that delaying it and sticking your head in the sand can actually make matters worse.
So this is for all you guys out there and many others who have the same issues.
I remember my family doctor when I was a kid.
I didn't like the shots.
But everything else about him was calm.
It's one of the reasons I became a doctor.
So to get to know your patients and doctors and get them to communicate better, we've got to make some changes.
Amen.
Amen.
I think one of the things we need to know is your physician is not there to judge you.
They're there to be your advisor.
And that's what family medicine is all about.
So to help our viewers get the most out of their doctor's visits, Dr. Fowler has graciously offered three pieces of advice that she wishes all patients knew.
So we're going to pretend we're just sitting at dinner here.
Okay.
What is it that you'd want to hear America respond to?
Well, I think, by the way, I think has to do with people around the table, right?
Your family.
Exactly.
If you have a chance, if you're lucky enough that your parents are still with you, I would ask you to talk to your parents about what kinds of illnesses or things that they've encountered in their health.
There's something we call your first-degree relatives, and those would be your mother, your father, your brothers, your sisters, and your children.
Those people's health is the most directly impactful to you.
An important clue.
Second big item is to make sure you bring all the bottles, I mean all the bottles, everybody, to your doctor.
Right.
A lot of people will come in with a list.
Sometimes they don't even have a list, and I say to them, what medication are you taking?
Uh, it's a little blue pill.
Well, a little blue pill, there's a lot of little blue, well, not that little blue pill.
There's a lot of little.
It's ironic you picked that, but anyway, go on.
There's a lot of little blue pills out there.
But they often don't know the name, they don't know how much, and they don't know why they take it.
And what I'd like to do today as a family physician is empower my patients to know why they take something, bring everything with them, even the things that they might not think of as medicine.
The over-the-counter things, the supplements that they may take.
Give us a chance to sit down with me and with the patient as a team, and together we'll go through this and find out, is there anything in there we should be worrying about?
Is there anything maybe we need to do a little bit differently, again, to try to keep you safe?
I love the fact that you used the word team.
It's a very different way of thinking about it, guys.
It's not the boss in there ordering you around.
It's your team member.
It is.
Which brings us to the last point.
You have to develop a relationship with your family doctor.
Right.
I'm a family physician.
I love being a family physician.
I take care.
I can go into a room one day.
It's a newborn, and the next room is an 89-year-old patient.
We do some house calls.
Many of us deliver babies.
Some of my members will actually do C-sections.
But we have the opportunity to take care of patients across the lifespan and oftentimes multiple generations.
So sometimes it's not just the patient in front of you, but I not only know you based on what diagnosis you have, I know you as a person.
I know what you do for a living.
I know what you love.
I know what you don't like.
And I can help you and get a sense of your goals and help you to feel strong and empowered so you can hit that future that you were looking for.
So you want to jump in that kind of relationship with the person who you're trusting your health to.
We fear most what we don't understand.
And the word doctor means teacher.
Remember that.
So you've got to go to class with the homework Dr. Filer outlined and you will learn a ton more than normal.
I want to thank the thousands of family physicians who provide care for millions of Americans.
I appreciate all that you guys do.
Thank you.
Dr. Filer is going to be sharing more insights on dros.com.
We'll be right back.
All new odds.
Convinced he lived a past life.
I get goosebumps hearing this stuff.
Proof reincarnation may be real.
The death circuit it looks like was wrong and Ryan was right.
How does this happen?
Plus, 31 clever ideas to organize your whole life.
This is an insanely good idea.
Some ideas are cheap.
This one is free.
All new Oz.
That's coming up tomorrow. - If you've ever been to summer camp or work retreat, you may know this exercise that uses fear to build trust. you may know this exercise that uses fear to build It's called the Trust Fall.
Now, I was always scared of this when I was a kid because I didn't trust people.
I did trust them, but I thought I'd fall off anyway.
But here I am with Elle, Nana, and I've got Roslyn as well, so I'm going to give it a try.
You guys strong?
Yes.
Make, make, make, let me see.
I don't know.
You guys have breakfast and everything today?
Yes.
Now, to make it more difficult, I'm going to step up, because I love heights now.
Way up here.
So you trust us with your life?
I don't know if I trust you.
Okay, get ready.
Let me see the arm positioning here.
What do you guys think?
You try to jump forward like a mosh pit?
No.
Backwards?
Yes.
All right, I'm not looking.
If you move, tell me.
I'll put my trust in you.
We got you.
All right?
Here goes.
Three, two...
Oh!
It worked!
Nice job.
Nicely done.
I always had problems with that because I always thought the kids would kid around and pull it out of the way.
Nicely done, everybody.
Thank you.
All right.
Now, listen.
It's important.
I need you to have a little faith in me.
I put my trust in you guys you just saw.
I have dedicated this entire show to ways we can conquer our fears.
I fear it too.
I fear it too.
All the fears we have.
If we conquer those fears, we have to embrace them, right?
And these include fears of heights to fears of the unknown and everything in between.
Fear could be what's holding you back from living your healthiest and most fulfilling life.
Remember, everything you want is on the Other side of fear.
So let's conquer those fears together.
I've got a very special edition, a fear edition, in case you missed it.
Now remember, we started off tackling one of the most common phobias out there, spiders.
Another way we fear life, and it creeps into our lives every day, is money anxiety.
It holds a lot of folks back, and they don't realize.
They think it's about not being able to save money the right way.
It's not.
Here's one tip to help relieve your money anxiety.
Find financial joy by becoming financially naked.
It's a big deal.
When you think you need something, the real question you need to ask yourself is, why do I think I need it?
Is it for yourself or is it because you want to project a certain image to other people?
If you can deal with the real reasons you're spending money like you shouldn't, you'll be able to stop overspending on things you don't need.
And in terms of spending money beyond your real needs, isolate what truly brings you joy, what really makes you so happy, and invest in those things.
Maybe it's a trip in a car.
Maybe it's a good cup of coffee.
The other stuff doesn't matter.
Don't buy the dress if it doesn't bring the same amount of joy.
That's how we'll fix the financial problems we have in so many of our households.
Finally, please be careful of dubious people online that make it seem like I'm endorsing their products because they don't.
▲
Export Selection