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Oct. 22, 2019 - Dr. Oz Podcast
21:43
The Breakfast Club's Angela Yee on Fighting Hate and Finding Love

She’s known for her straight talk and unfiltered candor. Angela Yee is not afraid to speak her mind on “The Breakfast Club” every morning, delighting millions of listeners across the country. In this interview, Angela is using her voice in a different way, to speak out about cause that’s close to her heart and to reveal the motivation behind her brand new project. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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It's people that are hurting, they're not happy with where they are in life, and those are the people that have feelings like that.
And people also feel like, well, why are you in that spot and I'm not in that position?
I'm smarter than you.
I'm this.
I'm that.
And they also feel like I haven't achieved what I wanted to achieve in life.
And this person is doing the things that I wish I was doing.
So instead of me saying, that's great.
Keep doing your thing.
Let me figure out what I can learn from you.
They're like, I hate you.
You're whack.
You're terrible.
Why are you there?
Hi, I'm Dr. Oz, and this is the Dr. and this is the Dr. Oz Podcast.
Hi.
She is known for her straight talk and unfiltered candor.
Angela Yee is not afraid to speak her mind on The Breakfast Club every morning.
I've been there, witnessed it.
So I have millions of you because you've got lots of folks all over the country listening to you, Angie.
So Angela Yee has done something very interesting.
She's using her voice in a way that's, I think, unique and suits her perfectly.
She's speaking out about a cause that's close to her heart and to reveal that motivation behind her brand new project that might just make you blush a little bit.
And we'll get to a theme that...
It may surprise everyone in the room, but first off, this gift of gab that you have, which is really spectacular.
I mean, the people you co-host the Breakfast Club with are not wilting willies.
They don't shy away.
They're very chatty.
Exactly.
Getting Charlamagne off the mic is really a challenge.
Oh my gosh, yeah.
So when did you realize you had a little bit of gift of the gab as well?
Well, when I was younger, they used to call me the news because I was always the first person that knew something happened.
And so because I read the newspaper all the time.
So I remember one time, like one of the guys I went to school with ended up getting arrested because he worked at FedEx and they like stole the package.
And so it was always me that was the first person spreading what happened.
Like, oh, my God, did you hear?
And then it turned into like, yeah, I heard about it.
Angela told me.
So they used to call me the news because they're like, oh, my God, if Angela hears about it, everyone's going to hear about it.
So I think just from when I was younger, I had that reputation of just knowing everything that was going on.
And I was an English major in college, so I was pretty good at writing.
Went to a great school?
Yeah, Wesleyan University.
And that was just kind of how it started for me, but I never thought about doing radio.
I was doing marketing before I started doing radio.
And I think marketing and being able to read and write well just helps you with no matter what it is that you want to do in life.
Let me go back a second to how you ended up in that college.
It's a very famous school, actually, for arts and literature.
It's interesting that you picked that school, so you must have had some inclination, even when you were growing up, that you wanted to have that aspiration.
Yeah.
Well, for Wesleyan, they didn't have a core curriculum.
To be honest, that's the reason why I chose it, because I didn't want to take all these classes that didn't interest me.
And most schools have a core curriculum.
So I was like, I'm going to go there and just take all writing and English classes, because that's really what I wanted to do.
And your parents were all over that?
They were fine?
Yeah, they were just happy I was going to go to college.
Does everyone in your family go to college?
My dad did.
He went to Baruch.
And my brother went to Brown.
So he's older than me, so...
There's an academic tradition in your family.
People carry your family.
These are great colleges, too.
Yeah, I mean, from when I was young, it was always a given that I was going to have to go to college.
Whether or not I wanted to, I think they put me on that path early.
Like, when I was in fifth grade, I was in this program called Prep for Prep, which is in New York City.
And basically, they take kids from the inner city, and they put them in a summer program for two summers, and Wednesdays and Saturdays during the school year.
And they teach you all these subjects that you'll learn later on in life so that by the time you...
And then they send you to private school.
So we ended up going to private school.
I went to Poly Prep in Brooklyn.
I think for me, I can't see how college can really hurt you.
But I don't think you have to go to college.
But I'll say the biggest thing that comes out of college is also the networking that you can do.
And that's something that I've learned.
Like right now, Lin-Manuel Miranda went to Wesleyan, right?
He wrote Hamilton.
And so I'm actually on the panel.
We're doing a scholarship.
It's called the Hamilton Scholarship, where we're choosing a student to get a full scholarship to go to Wesleyan.
And so now we're actually choosing it now.
Like today, I have to go and look through all the submissions.
So it's an honor to be on that.
But for me, it's just the whole networking of being able to use the alumni and the people that you went to school with.
To actually help you out in the future and be able to ask them, hey, I'm doing this now.
I remember I was on a panel and one of the guys on the panel, he went to Duke and he was saying that he started this company and he just randomly hit up alumni he didn't even know from Duke and he managed to get millions in investments just doing that.
Oh, there's no question.
It's a calling card.
Yeah.
And a lot of people don't appreciate that because they don't understand the game and how it's played.
I think this is true a lot in America right now.
It's one of the biggest challenges we have because...
You want fairness of opportunity.
You can't guarantee outcomes, but you want opportunity.
And a lot of the opportunity is subtle stuff.
My parents are immigrants.
They didn't know the system.
But I had people around me and them who were willing to teach it to us.
That's why it's intriguing that you've been through this role.
Because, you know, Charlamagne learned life very differently.
He was on the podcast recently.
We were talking about growing up in South Carolina with a life that is, you know, I actually might have predicted because he talks about it a lot.
Right.
But it's not the life that you want to have That's not going to catapult you to success usually.
The life that you actually had as a child does catapult.
In fact, I don't know if it's true, but when you were growing up, there weren't a lot of powerful women in radio.
There were some, but not a lot.
Yeah, there weren't a lot.
I remember listening to the radio growing up and not even, I'm trying to think, when I was really young, I didn't hear any women.
And I think when I was really young, too, the genres of music were different.
Because you would hear the radio and it would be like everything.
So we all kind of listened to everything.
It wasn't as broken down as it is now, where I listen to this station, I can only hear this.
There was this controversy about this hip-hop song being a country song, because, you know, it is.
It's called the Lil Nas X song.
I don't know if you heard it.
Yeah, with Billy Ray Cyrus.
Right.
It was so good.
And originally, Billy Ray Cyrus wasn't on it.
Oh.
So they pulled that song off the country charts, even though it was doing well, because they were like, this isn't country.
And then it turned into a...
Yes, he's going to ride his horse.
Come on.
Hello, there's nothing more country than that.
That young guy, he's got a good career, I think.
Yeah, and then Billy Ray Cyrus hopped on the song, and it actually ended up getting more press, because they were like, how is this not a country song?
But just the fact that when you make music, certain genres, you have to define what it is, or else you can't get played.
Anywhere because we're like, okay, what is this?
Is this pop?
Is this urban?
Is this country?
But that's good.
I think it's good that you have crossover.
I think it gets to a wider audience and it also helps people realize it's so good.
Right.
They wouldn't.
But that song maybe just because of the specialness of the host.
Yeah.
But normally, no, we wouldn't.
And so I think like even with the iHeart Radio Music Festival, when we do that, I get to hear artists that I normally wouldn't hear because they have every genre of music.
So I'm like, who's that?
You know, and it could be like the biggest pop star or the biggest country star.
I don't really know any country songs.
But I want to push a little bit on how you ended up in radio.
So how did you finally realize you had a talent from being the news, pestering your family about breaking news in the community, to being a world-class radio jockey?
So it really all happened by chance.
I was doing marketing and I worked for Eminem when he launched his clothing line.
I was really good friends with Paul Rosenberg, his manager and partner.
I called him one day because I saw they had an opening at Sirius in the marketing department.
My background has always been marketing.
I worked for Nile Rodgers.
I worked at a bunch of different clothing lines.
I said, look, there's an opening in the marketing department.
I really want to see if I can do this, just do a whole switch, get out of the fashion industry, get into marketing.
You know, radio and satellite was pretty new and Eminem had just gotten a station.
So Paul, his manager, says to me, you know, why don't you try to do the morning show?
We're looking for a woman to co-host on the morning show.
So I had no experience at all.
And I remember he set up a meeting for me.
I'll never forget this.
I had to meet with like the vice president of programming.
I didn't know anything about radio.
So I walked in there not knowing what was going to happen.
And he says to me, so do you have any experience in radio?
I was like, no.
And he was like, so were you interested in radio growing up?
I was like, no.
Not really.
But he was like...
You're hired.
You're killing this interview.
I was just trying to be honest.
But I think they...
First of all, he didn't have a choice but to let me audition because Paul did tell me this is an audition.
So you're not guaranteed the job, but this is an audition.
So you go in there.
I can't tell you you have it, but at least you can try and see if it can work out.
So I went in there and I worked there for free for like a month and a half.
And I remember how terrible I was at first.
Like...
People were calling up like, she sucks, girl.
It was really bad.
Thank God there was no social media because it would have probably been terrible.
I might not have made it, honestly.
And so I didn't tell anybody I was on.
I didn't want anybody to listen to it because I was so bad.
I was like, I don't want my family to know.
And I didn't know I had the job.
So you don't want to tell people I'm doing this and then you're not.
So I was really quiet about it, but people were finding out slowly.
And then we had an interview with Jay-Z. And I knew Jay-Z already because we're from Brooklyn and, you know, I knew him.
I knew all his friends.
So I remember we did this interview.
It was right when he became president of Def Jam.
And the interview was so good, I got hired as soon as we walked out because they thought it was such a great interview.
And it was such a big interview for us.
Like, people put it on their mixtapes.
It turned into a huge deal.
So I walked out of there, they're like, you're hired.
And they actually even gave me back pay for the time I was working for free.
So what makes...
Getting unemployment.
Statute of limitation.
Exactly.
What makes a great interview?
What made that interview special?
And another one since, as you're talking to someone on The Breakfast Club, when you realize there's something real happening.
That interview in particular was good because it was a very personal, fun conversation.
And people were not used to him being loose and joking around like that at that time.
So he actually came up there with Beyonce.
And this was before they had confirmed that they were dating.
And she was in the other room, the green room.
And so I remember there were several things that happened.
And it's funny, even now, like to go back and listen to it.
But it was Chinese New Year that day.
And I'm half Chinese.
And so it was the year of the rooster.
And so I remember joking around and saying it was the year of the cock.
And then it turned into like a big joke.
And then I was saying that I had read like some groupie confession thing where some girl said she slept with him and said it was terrible.
And he was like, nah.
But he was like joking around about it.
And people don't talk to him like that.
So I think everybody was like, oh my God, I can't believe this is happening.
And then I was like making fun of the way that he used to dress.
And so it was so funny that like the people with him like got up and started laughing and like left the room and was like, oh my God, I can't believe this.
So it was just a funny interview that people weren't used to hearing.
But asking a question about a woman who's accusing him of having, not accusing, but saying that she had sex with him and accusing him of not being good is not something that's a, not everyone would react well to that.
You wouldn't do that with your normal guest.
No, I meant, I never asked that question in all my years of hosting radio, podcasts, and TV shows.
It was in a magazine, though.
So I'm sure he had seen it already.
You know, like, it was this magazine called Ozone Magazine, and they have this segment that was called Groupie Confessions, where girls were like, and who knows, like, I guess they would vet them out to see how true it was, but they would anonymously talk about people, celebrities that they had been with, and how was it, and if the person was good or not, what happened.
And one girl, you know, who knows if it was true or not, wrote about him.
There's lots more when we come back. - So, Angeli, it actually, these things are the big theme that you're pushing on now.
You had a TED Talk on this, which is hate.
And you make the argument that it's hard to hate someone you don't really know.
Right.
Well, no, people do it all the time.
They do it all the time.
It's just hard to legitimately hate somebody.
So take Jay-Z. Everyone thinks they know Jay-Z. But they learned a lot more about him.
In fact, you knew much more about him than anyone actually probably did that was listening to the broadcast because he had some common background.
You understood a bit more about the issues.
You know where you could go and not go.
There are probably ways you could have even asked those questions that would have turned him off and had his team come closer and intervene as opposed to relaxing and letting them be himself.
No, you're right.
A lot of it is the way that you approach somebody and your energy because when people know you don't have bad intentions, then I think it's a lot easier for them to have a conversation.
And I think he also was aware because before the interview, I saw him like he was coming out of the bathroom and I was walking past him and he was like, what are you doing here?
Because like I said, nobody knew I worked there.
And I said, I'm about to interview you.
And he was like, don't fuck this up.
And I think he was probably also aware that I was nervous.
That's the advice my producers give me every day, by the way.
They do.
They work so hard.
Great advice.
The last thing before I walk out is don't F it.
Yeah.
So he said that, and I was like, oh my God, what am I going to do?
And I think I asked him if he was dating Beyonce, and no one had asked him that yet.
Because people were always kind of intimidated.
And she was up there with him, so I was like, that's fair.
We just saw her walk past, you know.
Right, she's not working for him.
You know, and then I asked him if he wanted to get married.
It was so long ago.
On the air?
Yeah.
And what did he say?
He was like, yeah, you know, one day.
First he said he was going to throw his pager at me.
He was like...
And then he was like, yeah, one day.
So how do we deal with hate?
What do you think drives it?
Why do we seem to have more of it now than before?
Yeah.
And it's interesting because, you know, I did do a whole TED Talk at Wesleyan about hate and why do people hate people that they don't know.
And I think what's really important to understand, because I talk to kids at school a lot, and it's hard for them with social media and people attacking you all the time.
And then you feel like you have to respond to it.
And there's these anonymous people behind the keyboard saying things and you'll never see them and they'll never say that to your face.
But I always try to tell people, and I had to come to understanding this myself, because Because I'm sure that you guys don't go online and write hateful things and comments.
Because you know why?
You are feeling pretty good about yourself.
Life is good.
You're successful.
You don't have time for that.
And you probably wish other people well.
Yes, that's actually a big part of it.
I always felt that it would hurt me to hurt them.
Right.
Why would I bother?
And that's a great way to think, but you have to understand that it's people that are hurting themselves and they're not happy with where they are in life, and those are the people that have feelings like that.
So if I can't stand you or hate you and I don't know you and I don't really have any reason and I want to come up with a reason, it's because it makes me feel better.
I'm not feeling good about myself to hate you because then it makes me feel like, okay, I'm better than you.
And people also feel like, well, why are you in that spot and I'm not in that position?
I'm smarter than you.
I'm this, I'm that.
And they also feel like I haven't achieved what I wanted to achieve in life.
And this person is doing the things that I wish I was doing.
So instead of me saying, that's great.
Keep doing your thing.
Let me figure out what I can learn from you.
They're like, I hate you.
You're whack.
You're terrible.
Why are you there?
So that's a hard thing to fix.
Because as you point out, they're living in their mother's basement.
They're unhappy with life.
And it is about them.
Yeah, it is.
Not about the person they're writing about.
So how do you get them to focus in on that?
Or is that a litmus test?
Share with folks some of the insights you shared, because it was a very popular TED Talk that you gave to your Well, what I want people to understand is that, A, if you feel like you're hating on somebody, you should check yourself and understand where those feelings are coming from.
So if you're like, why am I hating this person?
Why do I feel so miserable?
Sometimes you just have a negative thought like, ew, why is she wearing it?
Why is she not?
Why is she showing this?
And you're like, actually, what I really feel like is she looks really great and good for her that she could wear something like that because I can't do that.
You know, and sometimes that is where it's coming from.
And so...
I think it's important for us to check ourselves when we start having these negative feelings and say, why am I so unhappy?
Because I know when I'm happy, I don't even have thoughts like that.
Because I'm like spreading love.
And that's important.
And I think more importantly is for young people and, you know, everybody that has to deal with people hating on them to understand that it's not because you're whack.
It's because there are people that are hating on you have their own issues within themselves.
So don't think that what anybody's saying is serious and take it to heart.
Just say, I'm so glad that I don't have that burden of hating somebody because that's a heavy burden.
You know, I had a woman who was a well-known part of the British royal family who was on the show, and she'd been hammered ruthlessly for her weight.
And she had this moment that was very emotional, and I said, you know, open up to us what's going down.
She said, I ran into the man who coined the phrase that was so hurtful to me, and he was this little gnome.
And he came up to me at a party and said, I just want to let you know I was the one who wrote that.
And I went from hating whoever wrote it to feeling sorry.
Yeah, you feel bad for the person.
I mean, I would never have thought someone like that because that's probably what you heard growing up.
Because what you wrote about me is probably what you heard them saying about you.
And that's, you know, what you dislike in others is what you dislike the most in yourself.
Yeah, and that's true.
Like when you see all the time, and I talk about this in my TED Talk too, people who hate homosexuals.
And we found that a lot of times people have those urges themselves and hate the fact that they can't be free and who it is that they truly are because we've seen that in politics a lot.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
Oh, gosh.
Yeah, exactly.
And then it turns into, well, turns out this person was gay all along because they hated the fact that you're out here being able to express yourself and be who you really are and they have to feel closeted.
More questions after the break.
With Angela Yee, we're talking about all kinds of fun stuff, but she's spreading love in a new podcast just started called Lip Service, beautifully named, where she opens but she's spreading love in a new podcast just started called Lip Service, beautifully named, Why is there such a stigma in the country around sexuality?
Why is there so much stuff going on now about that?
About sexuality or talking about sex?
Talking about sex.
I think for women in particular, we're viewed a certain way where we're not supposed to talk about certain things.
And with my podcast, Lip Service, we do talk about sex.
And I think it's a very positive thing because I learn a lot from that show.
And then I think it's great for women to be able to relate to what other women are going through.
Because they might be going through the same thing.
People are curious about things that maybe they've never done.
And so there's a lot of things that people do in the bedroom that we have no idea about that we might never try.
But I think it's interesting because we try not to judge what other people do.
We just try to listen to it and understand it.
And so it's been very educational for me as well.
Well, it's such a...
intertwined part of who we are our sexuality is and we don't think of it that way we think of as a separate but our species was designed to procreate so that involves eating enough to be alive right and not much else except the sex and we thrive because of other things that happen with us and we're the most sexual of all species right women women will have sex when they're not in heat they'll have sex when they can't possibly reproduce postmenopausal for example Right.
When we don't even feel like it because we're tired.
Yeah.
Pretending.
Okay.
All right.
Fine.
Get it over with.
Then spend hours, days.
That was the old joke we had on the show that we did a show on the male orgasm, but we couldn't find it.
It was too short.
Right.
Yeah.
And it's great for guys to have multiple orgasms.
I get a bad looking look for my wife now.
That was good.
It was a show on the male orgasm.
It was too short.
We couldn't air it.
Oh, I get it.
Yeah, that's a bad joke.
And then there was more on the female orgasm.
We never aired it because we couldn't find it.
I mean, look, fortunately...
I'll be here all week, by the way.
Try the corned beef.
We know you will.
No, but it is, I think, important for women to also learn how to have orgasms more and to like be more open to talk about things.
So the whole point of lip service is for people, for women to feel empowered, to be able to say, this is what I like, this is what I don't like, to find out maybe there's things that they're embarrassed to talk about.
Because to me, and I always tell people this, the fact that you can have sex with somebody and share your body with them, but be scared to say what you like and don't like is crazy to me.
So if you're willing to share, and I think guys also like being told what to do sometimes in the bedroom.
Oh, without question.
We don't get a lot of lectures on what women...
Other guys tell us what women want.
It's dead wrong sometimes.
Often, yeah.
And we have to learn not to fake it because then you guys will keep doing the wrong things over and over and over again because we're faking it and pretending that we like something that we don't like and then it never gets fixed because two years from now we can't be like, you know...
I didn't really like that.
I'm just pretending.
You've been doing this for two years now.
I think a lot of it also is talking about it when you're not in the heat of the moment.
Right.
So in a calm time, just say, okay, there are a couple things that feel good.
And it's a bit more academic.
But believe me, a few words said at the right time have a huge impact.
And also, it's how you say it.
Just like we talked about with interviews, it's how you say it.
Because there's a sexy way you can tell somebody in the act how to do something that you like, and they'll do it.
Instead of saying, I don't like this, be like, you know what I really like?
When you do da-da-da-da-da, and...
Have you been applying your lip service podcast insights into your personal life?
Yeah, always.
I'm a work in progress always, and I'm always willing to learn.
There's some things I'll just never do, though, and I already know.
Because I feel like if you know you don't like something, don't try to force yourself to like it if you just don't do that.
Angela, you never love some words.
Thank you for joining us.
Lip Service, her fantastic podcast.
You've got to check out with iHeart.
Please do look at her TED Talk on hate.
It was very well done.
I think it's something that we can all learn from.
God bless you for all you do.
Well, thank you guys so much.
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