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Aug. 24, 2023 - No Agenda

01:39:08

1584: Openers

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Time	Text
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	It's Thursday, August 23rd, 2023.
	This is your award-winning give-on-Asian-media assassination episode 1584.
	This is no agenda.
	Inducing epileptic fits and broadcasting live, almost live, from the skies over the Atlantic Ocean.
	Homeward bound in the morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from Northern Silicon Valley, where I'm on tape.
	What?
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	Really?
	Tape?
	It's still tape?
	No, tape is good.
	We still talk about records and recordings.
	One of these days people go, what are those guys talking about?
	I do have a tape recorder that's sitting around somewhere but I haven't... Do you still have a reel-to-reel?
	An honest-to-god reel-to-reel?
	I have a number of them.
	I have about four of them.
	Do you have a Reevox?
	No, but I got a big 10-inch TEAC Pro.
	Multitrack?
	Like 4-track or multitrack?
	Four.
	Four trackers.
	Oh, that's a classic.
	That's a classic demo machine.
	It's worth a lot of money.
	I'm going to sell it.
	I don't know about that.
	I don't think it's worth a lot of money.
	Don't kid yourself.
	I've been in the market for reel-to-reel tape recorders for at least seven, eight, nine to ten years, and the prices have been going up.
	Really?
	Yeah, noticeably.
	Well, what kind of money can you get for that thing?
	A couple grand.
	Twenty-five hundred bucks, maybe.
	Oh, okay.
	I mean, you know what I had?
	I wish I had it.
	I had a TEAC.
	Four track, it was the mixer with the reel-to-reel built in.
	It was like this, it was like a huge board.
	Wow, is that the kind that was like horizontal and a big giant thing?
	Not, no, it was vertical.
	It was vertical, it wasn't horizontal.
	And it had the smaller reels in it, but it was a four-track.
	It had the mixer right in there, and it had a couple of simple effects.
	Oh, that sounds nice.
	It was one of my very, very early... That sounds more like one of the later recorders, because as time went by, they started adding features, trying to keep the format alive.
	I think it was... I think it was... I must have purchased that in...
	89, 90 maybe?
	But I still have a Sony 777.
	People are going like, get to the show, will ya?
	What are you talking about, you old goofs?
	So this is a special show.
	It's a special show because I'm actually traveling back to Texas as we speak.
	You're starting to sound like Kamala.
	With the passing of time?
	No, the special show.
	The special show.
	What, she says special show?
	I don't know anything about a special show.
	She gets these things she goes off on.
	Oh, she calls it a special show.
	So you're what?
	You're traveling?
	She's insulting me.
	Since when?
	I'm traveling on our way back so we can do the Sunday show back from the Texas Hill Country.
	The vacation is over.
	We decided one day, one day we do the best of.
	I tried to get a lot of Redbook entries, and I mean, there were two people who sent.
	It's just not enough.
	Not enough to make.
	Not epic, but I have a start.
	I have a start.
	And you just have to go back.
	Bingit.io was fantastic, but people are lazy.
	They're on vacation themselves.
	They don't want to work, I guess.
	Yeah, it's not a good time.
	However, Rich Koning, which is interesting.
	The King.
	Now would you pronounce that in American?
	Koning?
	Because you would say in Dutch, Koning would be the King.
	That's exactly how you'd pronounce it.
	The same way.
	Yeah.
	I'm looking for an umlaut.
	I think it's pronounced the same way.
	Koning.
	Koning.
	Rich Koning.
	Rich Koning in 2019.
	2019.
	Konig.
	No, no, because there's an end.
	Maybe Koenig.
	No, there's an end.
	It's not Koenig.
	No, it's Koenig, yeah, obviously.
	Koenig, yeah.
	He's the king.
	I'm just wondering where he's from.
	Maybe he is from Holland, I don't know.
	We don't know anything about Rich.
	Other than in 2019, he sent this bundle to us.
	Yeah.
	And it makes sense, 2019, because it is shows 110 to 1400, and he had to stop there because in 2019 we hadn't done the rest of the shows.
	And he did the opening of every single podcast, every episode.
	It's unbelievable.
	And some of them are weird.
	You know, I went back to show 200.
	If you want to listen to something funny, listen to that opening.
	200?
	Yeah, show 200.
	I don't have it.
	I mean, I'd have to go and look in the queue somewhere.
	No, I wouldn't do it now.
	I'm just saying.
	No, I wouldn't do that.
	But he also, he also timed up all of, now this is the thing that, because he sent it to us in, I mean again, it's 2019.
	I'm trying, hopefully it worked because we use a different kind of chapter system now.
	Hopefully we'll be able to, because he sent all the artwork along with it, all the chapters.
	I just had to try and get them to sync up.
	I'm not sure that that worked entirely.
	But the effort is incredibly appreciated.
	Just doing this, just going back and getting every single opening of every single No Agenda, and what a nutjob, crazy idea it is.
	It's a crazy idea.
	All right, so if you are sensitive to flashing lights and any other kind of weird stimuli, please be careful.
	Remember, you can look at the ground and it will all go away.
	Please enjoy the openings of a lot of No Agenda shows.
	Yeah.
	Are you ready?
	I was born ready.
	Yeah, that's what I want.
	I want Google having all my mail.
	Listen to us, bitch.
	Put on some clothes!
	Of course it's dope.
	Hello, can you hear us?
	Says Adam.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	Hey, you want a kidney?
	You look like a British banker in Hawaii.
	I can't believe this thing doesn't work for shit.
	No, I'm not ready.
	I gotta make... I have to blow up my browser because this damn Twitter fucked me over.
	I love that line.
	Put to death.
	A lot of dynamic data will be posted there, and you'll see a more powerful website on Drupal soon!
	I don't hang up anymore, because you're always bitch about it.
	You know, there has to be a couple of porn stars around here that would stand around naked for 300 bucks for five or six hours.
	You're on a deserted island with one person.
	How good do you have to look?
	You should be naked half the time.
	Look at all these women around here.
	They're all dogs.
	Hey, Ricky Ricardo.
	You ready for me?
	Hit it.
	You know, you don't have to be a chicken to spot a bad egg.
	I eat my notes like Ling Ling does.
	I'm so happy they're gonna kill tens of thousands of us!
	Here's my water, Mr. TSA!
	Please take my water!
	Where's my reel-to-reel recorder?
	I can't find it.
	Yeah, okay.
	Well, let's talk about it, right?
	Let's hit it.
	Because old dudes don't eat that shit.
	Federal Reserve says no rise in interest rates.
	Everything is stable, all is well.
	Go back to your homes, watch television, and enjoy life.
	Don't forget to shop.
	Did you know that you can spin plates on the end of a stick?
	You know, when you talk like that, I actually get hard.
	I have the swine flu!
	The modern Hitler is gonna be a guy like Tony Blair.
	I mean, that's just obviously it.
	How many steaks do you have on the plane, bitch?
	Zandom.
	Okay.
	Well, I thought that was... You didn't answer me back, so I figured if I put Milfy in there, you'd go running over to see it.
	Just as I know your style.
	So they've destroyed 450 tons of food in a starving area?
	See, these numbers don't make any sense.
	We got your dull needles right here.
	Line up!
	I'm old.
	Hey kids, don't shake fist.
	Does it require you have to go to a seminar where you have to sit down for hours and not take a leak?
	Whose side are these people on?
	I thought this was one of your sound effects with Crackpot calling the kettle black.
	Well, it's not that important.
	This wasn't a meteor at all.
	It was a test firing of an EMF device.
	Have you ever done heroin, John?
	You know, the guy just basically says, global governance, yeah, we're just going to run the whole damn thing.
	Screw you.
	I hate it.
	They do not know this is going to happen.
	I'm telling you, this is going to be weird.
	I'm not sick.
	It's only a flesh wound.
	I love you, man.
	I love you, man.
	I love you.
	Hey, man, I love you.
	Hey, John?
	What?
	That would have been a great show if it had actually recorded.
	You're kidding me.
	I'm not kidding you.
	We're still on the stream, by the way.
	Huh.
	Well, maybe somebody out there recorded it.
	That's why I'm still on the stream.
	I hope to God someone recorded this show.
	I can't believe... Well, you'll find out shortly.
	That's pretty funny.
	No, that's like par for the course for today.
	Yeah, well it sounds like it.
	Well, maybe somebody recorded it and we can run their recording.
	I knew this would happen eventually.
	Oh my God, I feel like such a douchebag.
	Ah, okay.
	Nerdy Dude says he has it recorded, sending it.
	Oh my God, I love you.
	There goes your career.
	That guy just looks like a phony.
	This is the voice you have learned to fear.
	This is the voice of terror.
	Again, we bring you disaster.
	Crushing, humiliating disaster.
	This is the voice of terror.
	A secret airplane factory somewhere in England.
	Listen.
	Screams of the dying can still be heard.
	This is the voice of terror.
	Are you there, people of Britain, shivering in your cellars?
	Listen, Operative 41.
	The fuse is lighted.
	This is the voice of terror.
	Englishmen, do you still await your doom in your stupid, stuffy little clubs?
	It will come, I promise you.
	Operative 23, the time is now!
	We strike you on the high seas, as well as on the land.
	This is the voice of terror.
	So you're saying that there's aliens meeting with our government.
	Of course, they ran this over the Christmas holiday so nobody would notice.
	That's what your theory is.
	Somebody's gonna get killed.
	No, people can function normal in society as heroin addicts, but that's what the government would love.
	What the heck is a life-threatening skin rash?
	Snakes?
	Snakes.
	Snakes?
	Oh, what a great show!
	I feel so a part of it!
	When I was a kid, I swear to God, I don't remember ever seeing women going, woo!
	Like that.
	Adam Spica!
	The President of the United States!
	Hey, I got an idea.
	So I guess now when you say, hey, that babe's got dynamite boobs, you ain't kidding.
	You know, these kinds of documents that you keep digging up about, this is kind of disturbing.
	Hey, your leg's crushed.
	Yeah, oh, my leg's crushed.
	Don't worry about it.
	Everybody hurts.
	You think I should get a stapler?
	You think I should get my stapler?
	I'm going to have to in the morning.
	I'm going to burn the place down if that's what I'm going to do.
	Well, that's because Liz, lesbian, lesbian, lesbian, Liz.
	I mean, come on, it's easy to make this mistake.
	Yeah, Citibank, there should be a run on the bank as we speak.
	Yeah, somebody at McDonald's listens to our show.
	Shut up, man!
	There are definitely regulations in England and the Netherlands for what the insurance companies can do.
	Fabulous!
	I'm waiting.
	I'm like, I want you to touch my crotch, big bad boy.
	Magnets in space!
	When do I get to do a pet peeve?
	That is about as lame as anything I've ever seen on the internet.
	Coming from a government site!
	Oh no, I'm sorry, it's not a Lindsay Lohan promo, John.
	Sorry.
	I'm an amusing typer.
	There's no tech reporting going on.
	It's all lame.
	There'll be a porn vaccine.
	We need a suicide jingle.
	Stating Barack Obama is possibly insane.
	Well, you know, they should have flown, coach.
	It's dangerous to fly!
	It's dangerous to fly!
	Tell everybody to shut down!
	Oh, I'm so scared I don't want to believe it's true!
	Have you noticed a decrease in your enjoyment of life?
	Yo, absolutely.
	Especially since I started doing this show.
	I'm amazed at what's happening!
	There, those bastards have been doing it since the 50s!
	Dude, that sounds like a James Bond movie.
	Kills me, though.
	Shameless, shameless, shameless.
	They open fire for public safety?
	It's a friggin' deer!
	What garbage.
	Dissemble, disassemble, disassemble, disassemble.
	This is why people need to support this show so I can quit this stupid job and don't have to travel and sit in friggin' Marriott Courtyard hotels and do bullshit meetings!
	I wanna do the show!
	I don't know why they would blow a hole in the country.
	Amazing!
	That is really a great job!
	Some really good information there, baby!
	It's unbelievable.
	17 Shrimp Club.
	Could you please stop referring to assholes as my friend?
	That guy was a dick, that military guy.
	Well, I think Apple and the Builder Burgers are the same operation.
	Well, that's very interesting.
	We are orthorexics.
	Orthorexics.
	And proud of it!
	I love the World Cup made of coke.
	Yay!
	I'm not bleeding, I'm happy!
	There's wood in there, you're eating wood!
	You're right, it'll probably be point of discussion all over the place by a bunch of morons.
	This was pathetic!
	Tell me a little bit about how the sexuality is in your DNA, cause I'm Charlie Rose and I want you to come over here.
	You have a higher likelihood of getting tased than getting laid.
	These guys are just talking out of their ass.
	Just in time for summer!
	Don't you want to feel really good about your complexion?
	All you have to do is listen to the No Agenda Show!
	We'll even throw in a free pride coin just for $33.33!
	It's going on right now, all summer long, right here at noagendashow.com!
	I don't like shooting myself, I'm sorry.
	I'll be fighting back the zombies.
	Then if that's the case, why can't I go sign up some slaves?
	Death by hooker.
	Well, at least they're getting creative.
	Chicks are crazy about this movie.
	Don't go see it then.
	This is bogus.
	Yeah.
	You can find out who's doing it.
	He's got the CIA working for him.
	He's the president!
	This is outrageous!
	Of all people, you homeschool your kids, yet you put them on a leash.
	Have you ever seen the Vagina Monologues?
	No agenda show.
	Strong bloody violence and nudity throughout the movie.
	Anal leakage may occur.
	See it now.
	The big news is that, uh, you can't get a hooker on Craigslist anymore.
	Because, you know, if you masturbate, not only do you not make kids, who of course are killing the environment with their evil CO2 emissions from pooping, but you're also generating energy for your remote control.
	Leprechauns seem to have a red beard.
	I'm surprised they're not killing each other more often.
	Why, they don't even have their name trademarked!
	They don't know what they're doing!
	They don't have a trademark, they're idiots!
	They're stupid, I can't believe it!
	They're throwing money away.
	Someone's gonna, yeah, they're leaving money on the table!
	You know, at this point, you might as well watch the Kardashians.
	It's less harmful.
	Flat-chested women in their 20s and 30s and 40s and 50s, or it's kiddie porn.
	Yeah, it's jerked off that creepy guy that ran Homeland Security.
	Does Tylenol kill snakes?
	Well, in high doses, it'll kill you.
	We all have links to Al-Qaeda at noagendashow.com.
	There's links in the show notes to Al-Qaeda.
	Balloon Sinoplasty.
	Those things give you cataracts.
	Hello, Taliban.
	This is, uh, this is, uh, hello, this is Al-Qaeda.
	We want to coordinate some coordination with you.
	Get on their knees and worship the Aqua Buddha.
	Honey, I can't come to dinner.
	I'm twiddling with my knobs.
	I'm from B.I.
	Incorporated.
	I'm just gonna strap this smoke detector on your head.
	Here's some gaffer tape.
	I can't watch the World Series because baseball at this level makes me nervous.
	They should have burned it off his chest.
	Do they have some special privilege that makes them, that they can grope people?
	Fox News is absolutely disgusting.
	That's not gonna get you laid.
	It's gonna get you thrown in jail.
	You know, Janet Napolitano, who refused to go through the machine, you know, you say, well, because of the radiation?
	No, because she knows, she's worked in the government, she knows that once she steps They're saving that picture of her dead ass naked, and they're gonna use it as blackmail.
	You're taking our opium, wherever they got it from, and you're gonna use that and we're gonna take your teeth.
	Your ass is radioactive!
	Hey, I'll tell you something.
	These girls aren't underdeveloped.
	Inventing the wheel in advance in case we have to.
	Huh?
	I told her she was spewing old propaganda!
	The madness has begun!
	The madness!
	Stop the madness!
	Put down the banana and the nutmeg, kid!
	You're under arrest!
	We have the place surrounded!
	Let me stroke my white pussy for a moment.
	I'm a fancy, fancy Englishman.
	Children of the future will have no snow.
	You look at his agenda and it would say like, buy Porsche today.
	He prunes, that's my advice.
	The women in Canada, because they're walking all the time, have extremely pretty butts.
	Hey Gibbs, the No Agenda guys are really on to you.
	They're, like, lying about the smoking thing.
	We think you should leave.
	Congresswoman Bono has her breasts exposed in a photo?
	No, the next two disappointments is Saturday.
	Holy crap, this thing is huge!
	Congress, you can go home.
	It does not matter what you do anymore.
	I'm thinking that the three thing is a message back to base.
	I denounce you!
	I don't like drying my hands at the airport.
	I want a towel.
	I want a paper towel.
	It's a new test, brought to you by Nabisco.
	They have to cross what, in the business, they refer to as the Valley of Death.
	The Twitter thing doesn't work.
	Why does 3 o'clock have to be 4 o'clock?
	Nuclear bomb kills 9 million in Pakistan, but there's good news!
	Hey, global warming is over, everybody!
	The science is in!
	Science!
	And of course they'd be blamed on the Taliban.
	Apparently they brought some hot Ukrainians with them.
	Bradley Manning does not exist.
	I just don't believe it.
	Nothing like lesbian MILF cops.
	If I eat a whole banana, I might die of radiation.
	It's just unbelievable.
	We are all so excited and so thankful for everybody.
	And like I say, thank you for everybody that has participated in this because it couldn't have been done without everybody.
	Poop police!
	Poop police!
	I got a badge!
	Says poop police!
	All these guys, they all got tents.
	What is this tent thing all of a sudden?
	I watch C-SPAN for a living.
	Can I buy you a drink?
	Going to Religion, Culinary Arts, Airlines, Food Recipes, Else, United States, Africa, uh, Outdoor Recreation, Travel, Tourism.
	This is no agenda.
	It's Alan Curry and Churchill Borat.
	No further.
	Oh, the boys at the club won't believe me!
	I keep taking the second question first!
	I am going to homeschool her with a stripper pole and just move straight to college.
	Yeah, yeah, that's what we do.
	I mean, we manipulate the media because the media is a bunch of idiots anyway.
	This show is terrible!
	These people should be ashamed of themselves!
	There's a wife-swapping underground of people in RVs.
	I've seen the picture of the hole.
	On TV. On TV.
	On TV. .
	No more lamestream pumping out the new meme.
	Tell me where I should go.
	It's a little bit crackpot, tiny bit buzzkill, but it hits you right in the mouth.
	It's time to do it now in the morning.
	I wanna do it now in the morning.
	There's nothing better when it's in the morning, in the morning, yeah.
	Watching the puppets show from up on the hilltop as the whirlybirds pass by.
	It's the same old history, but I'm switching off the TV and tuning in and watching the sky.
	It's a little bit crackpot, it's a tiny bit buzzkill, but it hits you right in the mouth.
	It's time to do it now in the morning.
	I want to do it now in the morning.
	There's nothing better when it's in the morning.
	In the morning, yeah.
	It's a little bit crackpot and a tiny bit buzzkill, but it hits you right in the mouth.
	It's time to do it now in the morning.
	I want to do it now in the morning.
	There's nothing better when it's in the morning.
	It's in the morning.
	It's time to do it now in the morning.
	I want to do it now in the morning.
	Hit it!
	Timmy!
	Timmy!
	Go, go, Timmy!
	Timmy!
	Mine says my computer is fast.
	Really?
	I don't want sugar in my croissant.
	What evidence is there of this?
	How about you?
	Are you traumatized?
	They tried to make me go to rehab and I said, chick, when's my flight?
	Well, aren't you special?
	I'm gonna give Pfizer the benefit of the doubt on this story.
	I am offended by such a usage.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	Hot pockets.
	She stole the silverware.
	Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
	Sex, sex, sex, sex.
	We're talking to CIA computers and they can name database addresses.
	Let's face it, he doesn't know what a hashtag is from hashbrown.
	Their alleged offense?
	Heterosexuality.
	And you know what's gonna come out?
	Fish.
	He looked like a guy with a stick up his butt.
	Ev and Biz.
	Ev and Biz.
	And you can always follow me on Twitter.
	What?
	The internet in a suitcase program.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	No, no, no.
	You can't use 33.
	No, man.
	You can't call 33 now, man.
	That's the wrong code.
	No good.
	Wrong code.
	Wrong code.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	It's Thursday, August 11, 2000.
	11, two, three.
	Sorry about that.
	This is no agenda.
	Why don't you sing it?
	You know, I'm just gonna leave that in there.
	We'll just start it over again.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	How does hanging out with four hot Ukrainian-modeled babes make you a pervert?
	Adam, it's a terrible storm here.
	And the ducks are flying.
	And the cars are right away from the storm.
	It's a bad sign, Adam.
	The water's rising.
	It's rising up to my waist.
	The Pacer was an interesting car.
	It was one of the most advanced cars you can imagine.
	Vote for Curry Dvorak 2016.
	Crackpot and buzzkill.
	We're a balanced ticket.
	Everyone else was watching the Kardashians.
	That's what the Americans do.
	How was that by the way?
	Was it a good show?
	Pull it.
	Slaves of Europe, you have a choice.
	Either you can go into a dire situation like the Hunger Winter of 1945 to 1949, or you can let us take care of all of your taxation and all of your financial troubles, that is all.
	There's a guy with a hookah!
	No one refurbished.
	It didn't say refurbished on the website.
	Oh, no, what happened?
	She has hooves, man.
	Sounds like the Budweiser wagon company.
	I'm telling you, she's got hooves.
	Clippity-clop, clippity-clop.
	Study shows 38.2% of the European Union populace has mental problems.
	Well, you can see why.
	After use, the bags can be sealed and thrown in the trash.
	Or thrown at someone.
	The roads will be clogged.
	There's no way you can get out.
	This is going to be a disaster.
	We're just getting into the Chrysler building.
	Occupy the Clintons.
	When I met the Queen, I curtsied.
	I bet you did.
	He's injecting babies' fetuses into his bloodstream in Switzerland.
	Killed in a shark attack.
	When he says folks, that would be the key word for the message.
	Sell your liver.
	Gerrymandering isn't in the Constitution.
	So, um, as a special treat for those listening in on the podcast version of the show, and let's face it, that's the majority.
	You're hearing a portion of the pre-show that you got on the stream because, uh, I'm, uh, we're moving today, we have movers everywhere, so I will have no opportunity to edit a fancy little quote at the beginning of the show, so I'm recording now directly to MP3.
	A request to, uh, Human Resources in the chatroom, please record a backup in case something happens, if some Dubrony here would pull the power, then the recording would be interrupted, and since it's not lossless, it would be a broken recording.
	This concludes your emergency information.
	This is Band, a broadcast from the...
	Curry Emergency Broadcasting Network.
	Yeah, really.
	Do not panic.
	Do not panic.
	All is well.
	Well, that's an interesting ending.
	Uh, you, you, you crapped out.
	What'd you say?
	I crapped out?
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	Hit it.
	The recording... There we go.
	So, recording has started for those of you listening to the podcast.
	This is another show done with minimal resources, so we cannot edit after the fact.
	What you hear is what you get.
	And remember, if you see something, say something.
	I got a...
	A nice note from a guy.
	He said, oh, I love, I love it when you play the unedited, although we never edit, but... He's from the Opera Now podcast.
	He was totally getting off on the fat bitch.
	Just goes to show we please all sorts here.
	Oh, yeah. yeah.
	Well, I guess that's my cue.
	Hit it.
	There's no conflict.
	It's said to invigorate the chi.
	He's like, shut up.
	Shut up.
	Shut up.
	You be quiet.
	And the guy goes, you don't own me.
	But I just was looking.
	I was just looking.
	I don't know.
	You look too much like Gaddafi.
	They'll catch you and shoot you.
	Eh, just call Jenny.
	Angela, I let you change the treaty if you let us sodomize farm animals.
	It's a cool drone, let's send it to Iran, let it land over there, act all like it's like a lost puppy, and put a bunch of gear and crazy things in there that, you know, says weird stuff on it, like, you know, thermal imager, and it's got like some crazy circuit in there, it's really an old, you know, Z80 computer or something.
	That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
	Well, you haven't had anything bad happen, right?
	Right.
	Then The Rock must be working.
	Ooh, look, a napkin!
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	So these are the experts running our country?
	TMTV Awards.
	The Terrorist Music Television Awards.
	Yeah, now there's our opportunity.
	There's the opportunity!
	Al Jazeera would pick it up in a minute.
	That's not a great question!
	These dogs are trained to lie.
	Can people play along at home?
	This show is the worst ever.
	No wonder people don't want to help us out.
	Put Manning back on!
	Obama's behind!
	Whoop him, whoop him, whoop him!
	The whole thing!
	They were on the ground!
	Boots on the ground!
	As everyone knows, on these live shows, I have to... I can't hit record, and I can't do transferring and editing, so they get the little pre-stream that goes with it.
	Okay, I think we can try it.
	Hello?
	Yeah.
	Get another little piece of paper.
	Alright, hit it.
	Word here.
	Okay, that's working.
	Good.
	Uh, anyone out there, uh, listening to us on the stream, please make sure we have a backup recording, because you never know.
	A small production notice here.
	Uh, you hear the fat lady, uh, John?
	You hear what?
	You hear the fat bitch?
	Yeah, that's why I was playing my slide whistle, you know what I mean?
	Okay, yeah, I heard you.
	Maybe you were just doing that of your own accord, I don't know.
	I'm crazy!
	Hell yeah.
	So, once again, we're at about 400 kilobits up, 400 kilobits down.
	Yeah, well, I can barely, you're breaking up constantly.
	You know what?
	You don't need to hear me.
	I have nothing important to say.
	You know, people keep telling, whoa.
	Oh.
	People keep telling us there's something special we have to do with, like, locking some port down or something on Skype when we do this, and I never really understand what I'm supposed to do.
	People need to give you step-by-step.
	Yeah, well I can't really jack into this router here, so if I have to close some ports here, that's just not possible.
	Anyway.
	It is what it is.
	Yeah, you got enough bandwidth, it should be better.
	No, I don't really have enough bandwidth.
	You only need 50 kilobits on Skype.
	Well... It also depends on the, uh... Cinco de Mayo!
	Shit.
	Missed it.
	Ha!
	You distracted me!
	Good.
	It also depends on the number of hops and stuff like that.
	Did you listen to the last show?
	Did I listen to the last show?
	Yeah.
	No.
	I was on it.
	I was on the last show.
	Yes, I remember that part.
	I'm just wondering because at the near the second half of the show I enabled the noise gate because there was no more wind and I thought it sounds better when you don't hear the background when it's just us.
	Just wondering if you had an opinion.
	Okay.
	But it won't make any difference now, will it?
	It doesn't sound like it's going to make a lot of difference.
	Right.
	I like it where half the chat room says they're sparking up a bowl,
	The other half says they just took some magic mushrooms.
	People get really ready for the show, don't they?
	That's pretty cool.
	Yeah, just they forget to donate.
	That's the problem.
	No loving today.
	For those of you expecting to hear a snappy opening on the show, this is one of those remote location shows.
	So we just start recording somewhere during Le Biche Fat, and you just have to live with it.
	Sometimes people like that, so this is what you're normally missing.
	Woah!
	Woah!
	Save the cargo, Captain Banes!
	This is what you're normally missing during the pre-stream of the program.
	Yes, Choir Tea, indeed.
	I know that the listeners can't afford to donate because they're spending it all on LSD.
	I'm quite aware.
	It's okay.
	I assume...
	Yee-haw!
	Yee-haw, yee-haw, yee-haw!
	Okay, hit it.
	Mic check.
	Mic check.
	I'm gonna roofie you!
	Roofie you!
	What are you doing with Arabic on your machines?
	What is this world coming to?
	You're mentally ill, lady.
	I don't know why these things are dry.
	I think somebody's listening to our show.
	I will not use that word or ginormous.
	Don't spit on me, bro, or I'll drone ya.
	You need a very expensive blasting cap.
	It could have been a guy from Silicon Valley, but it looked like an orangutan.
	John, how come you're not wearing your hazmat suit?
	I'm dead.
	Don't make the stuff too hot or it'll melt the bag.
	Take a picture of the chicken and send it to Fresno State.
	I thought this was disturbing.
	No paper for you, no bagels, no paper!
	Shut up!
	We rock Maestro John C. Dvorak's slide whistle.
	But it's a simple fact, that's the way the government can control the population.
	She's got the right look and feel.
	We are happy no agenda slaves.
	They have done nothing but annoy the public.
	China food safer than U.S.
	food.
	I swallowed the slide whistle.
	Curry just gave me a good stock tip.
	This is great.
	This thing's positioned to go up.
	I'm gonna make a killing.
	Who is this idiot?
	Turned out that being a podcaster means you're clinically insane.
	What is wrong with the BBC that they can't vet some guy like this?
	This is just asking for trouble.
	I always keep a bottle of helium in the house.
	It makes your skin crawl.
	You guys are awesome!
	And make me feel a little more sane when you go off about the news and other BS that's constantly waved in our faces.
	Hey!
	Got dudes hung like a horse!
	I'm gonna go bite fate.
	Yeah, yeah, you're full of crap.
	You're watching too much CNN to catch this.
	Any cute girl in Russia's KGB.
	I don't know.
	It doesn't make sense to me.
	Never peel a hard-boiled egg again.
	The University of Nebraska's drone journalism experiment.
	What?
	What about me?
	I want to work on a cool unmanned plane, too.
	Hey, you with the slide whistle!
	Get in the cab!
	On the grounds that they'd actually made contact with the remains of an ancient shipwreck while on the lunar surface.
	Yeah, I saw climate change in action last night.
	Hey, we got- how many people we got working here?
	They're gonna come in and do a salary survey.
	We gotta find something else to do to justify the bullcrap jobs we have.
	Roll tape, roll.
	Yeah, but we still have to start, you know, the way, what people never hear on the show.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Whatever that means.
	Hit it.
	Wow, if Adolf and I had the YouTube blurring, it would have been so much easier.
	Have you hugged a Muslim today?
	Hey, JC, stop uploading porn!
	Dr. Cindy, come here!
	My knee hurts!
	It's a wet state.
	It's soaking.
	Hey, kid, your pig looks delicious.
	Adam and Mickey, You're broke.
	Which I can't refute.
	And they show your pathetic little trailer.
	Yeah, I could be a butcher in Windsor.
	I just grew hair in my eyes!
	This is Taylor Swift.
	I'm like the canary in the coal mine here.
	Well, yeah, something.
	Tongue that sticks out of the mouth.
	I gotta get me some of this.
	But will it make the collapse easier?
	Oh yeah!
	Is there Stargate in the water?
	It's not enough and it will do nothing.
	Hey!
	I know it's early morning here, but what the heck, it's the weekend and I don't get a drop throughout the week.
	Suck!
	Suck!
	I'm gonna get you Vladimir!
	I'm gonna get you!
	Drone Smackdown!
	Ah, we gotta go to a break!
	These people are just human pincushions for the United Nations.
	I think it's a new use for roofies.
	That's our slogan for today, John.
	Eventually, everyone gets tased.
	I don't know about your flag, but I wouldn't mind seeing your pole.
	Fighting a losing cause, my friend.
	A losing cause.
	Hello, I'm here to share an incident from a few weeks back.
	I love how you can deconstruct a mass miseducation machine, the popular lapdog media which keeps begging for biscuits from the two corporate wings of our one-party system.
	Hey, be quiet.
	All the girls get together with your dead body in the middle.
	She's pregnant and doesn't know how to tell the parents.
	We had a drone strike in America.
	There is nothing I love more than you topping me.
	I'm just saying they're idiots, okay?
	Well, why are they patting down that old woman and that old man?
	The guy's 90!
	You are all a bunch of mainstream media watching morons!
	What about Bert and Ernie?
	They've always been gay!
	Hey there, hot boy.
	Come pick up my bags.
	If I was an onerous, tyrannical government, I'd do it.
	Who doesn't like to pee in the sink?
	This is not the kind of world that I want us to be in!
	It's about sharing, Adam.
	It's about sharing.
	Thank you.
	Schneller!
	Schneller!
	Soaked nuts.
	Everyone's now putting their kids in front of cameras and microphones and, like, getting them to say things like this.
	Say fag!
	Yeah, you just get it out of the air.
	The energy's around you, man.
	It's around you.
	Calgary, here I come.
	Put an old 78 on there and you crank it up and you listen to Black Crows.
	We're proud of being the bullies of the world, okay?
	That's what we do.
	I do the best I can on the water they give me.
	It's an interesting A, B, C, D, E, E, D, C, B, A. It's time to invest in, you know what?
	Cat food.
	Shut up already, it's soulless.
	Deer antler spray.
	Are you on the browser?
	On the browser, check.
	Uh, there's doping going on in the sport of curling.
	What?
	Yeah!
	You know that thing where they toss like- I need to be all pumped up on Roy's to push a rock down a thing.
	Where's my book?
	So much more than a podcast.
	I like it.
	Only Amiga makes it possible.
	Shut up already!
	I'm sure you haven't read this, so I shall- Oh, brother.
	Sounds right.
	This sounds right.
	This sounds right.
	I mean, and that sounds like it's right.
	All those lists suck.
	I don't know that they were drinking.
	I think they were smoking dope.
	It is my fault and I feel bad now.
	Personally, I think Bitcoin is the beanie babies of currency.
	I think basically.
	No pooping.
	What?
	Are you kidding me?
	What is kind of a pitch is this?
	I heard you Ethiopian girls are hungry all the time.
	Hit it.
	Well then I'll just play a little sequence.
	Oh, we haven't done the anthem.
	Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for your Gitmo Nation National Anthem.
	little anthem and you may sing along as usual in the morning get mo nation we are all charged up to human resources and service in all lands and all ships that From the east to west, down under to the lowlands and beyond.
	We are happy and distracted slaves.
	Here are gift donations Legacy Media!
	For a healthy balanced news diet, try noagendashow.com.
	Mac and Cheese by Ayn Rand.
	Remember, no agenda in the morning.
	For a healthy, balanced news diet, try NoAgendaShow.com.
	Living the mac and cheese life.
	Mac and cheese by Ayn Rand.
	Hit it.
	All I'm waking up is floor right in my cup.
	Your protection for, you know, the police state...
	Stock up on mac and cheese!
	Take your money out of the bank!
	Put it in the mattress immediately!
	Bold and witty bedroom, barroom, and smoker dipsy doodles.
	Oh my god!
	You dog, you!
	We're old friends.
	She's sexy!
	We gotta reunite these countries, put the Disneyland in there, and just go have some fun.
	Whoa!
	800 million just for .mil?
	Tasty new weed!
	I had this JavaScript thing that keeps interfering with my show.
	It's going to create a nuclear winter.
	Because if you think there's a problem, you cap.
	Stay on your side of the street and smile.
	Please, can you peel me another grape?
	You don't know how to use the shells?
	Shells?
	Oh, you guys are just a bunch of skeptics and jerkosts.
	We make stuff that goes onto stuff that kills stuff.
	That should be their slogan, Microsoft.
	It's finger-friendly.
	Uh-oh!
	Let me see if I have any in the cupboard.
	We do not do discounts!
	Come on down!
	All right, are you ready?
	Give it a good spin.
	Hello, stolen code!
	The name of the talk show is Legally Drunk.
	And every time they catch him doing something like that, he gets another star.
	Unbelievable!
	You can't do that!
	Hey man, we can have like 50 terrorist strikes a year every single week.
	We could be like dead from people blowing up the stock exchange.
	It'll crash our entire economy.
	There'll be no money coming out of the ATMs.
	People should be freaking out, man.
	We can't do this.
	Hey, what are you afraid of?
	Let's trade a little bit of our security for our liberty or whatever.
	I don't care.
	We can't do this.
	What is an artisan?
	They're guys who make pots.
	And bear is close to bear.
	Oh, mac and cheese?
	Oh, let's get some mac and cheese.
	Special.
	Execute anyone at her own will.
	You like the redhead?
	Glenn Greenwald is out there and he's the hitman.
	It's the continuum.
	What I thought was a snide style.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	You could be pre-diabesity.
	Hey, Abdul, I guess what we're going to do this weekend.
	Holy crap, you mean they even believe that stupid old book?
	Oh my god, oh!
	Poor Google!
	They can't do anything because the government doesn't make them... She is such a douche and an idiot.
	Hey man, I'm in the demo.
	We can't afford to do this show.
	You with the Crocs, me with the dress.
	Oh, it's those guys.
	They know what's going on.
	They're so hip.
	Turn around!
	Make a U-turn!
	I hate Tokyo.
	And the portions are so small.
	Why would they not be our lapdogs?
	They've been our lapdogs since Tony Blair.
	It's all a great idea.
	I'm sitting here in the back of the class.
	I'm gonna make a meme.
	They talk about it quite a bit.
	But the one you want to listen to is the girl on Al Jazeera.
	Yeah.
	I did my part.
	I texted 1-0-1-0 and my ten bucks went over there.
	It went in somebody's pockets.
	hit it No agenda, no agenda, no agenda.
	No agenda, no agenda. No agenda, no agenda.
	No agenda, no agenda.
	No agenda, no agenda, no agenda.
	Get it.
	Oh, he's cool.
	He's so awesome.
	He's awesome.
	He's Tony Stark.
	It is only a question of time when popular self-government will be impossible and will be succeeded by chaos and finally, a dictatorship.
	Hello, 2013!
	I don't want to build a raspberry pie.
	Look at what Audrey's doing.
	Yeah, she's pulling a train.
	He's vaped himself off of Skype!
	And she found that she was the spawn of Satan.
	Straight from Reseda, here she is, Raven!
	Give it up!
	But in the bio, it all says, plug your ports!
	Hey, you want a cyber?
	Is that what you want?
	Oh, and then we did this.
	I'm great.
	I will hope everybody listens to me.
	Oh, everybody has their own taste.
	When Puff the Magic Dragon shows up, then I'll listen to your crappy argument.
	I don't think you should be shooting up MSG.
	Hit it.
	Anyone ever gets caught with a hooker has to shoot himself.
	I'm telling you, people on the plane were really annoyed with me playing this harmonica.
	Oh, it was a dark, dark November day.
	Yeah. .
	It was a Sunday in November.
	Dvorak was back in California and Curry in Texas.
	But the prognosis was not good!
	That's funny because that relates to a clip I have.
	Oh really?
	Well then I'll keep this one handy just in case.
	And we're good to go.
	Although your thing, that's a little more dramatic than mine.
	Mine's more subtle, but anyway, hit it!
	We'll hit it.
	Jigga-jugga-juga.
	Mainstream sucks!
	Alright.
	We were both criss-crossing Manhattan between the U.N.
	and the Global Clinton Initiative, but I don't think we were ever in the same place at the same time until the end of the day.
	That's often how it is during U.N.
	Week.
	That sounds like a horrible life.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	Oops.
	Oops.
	Sorry.
	What are you doing?
	Why are you jumping the gun on me?
	Happy trigger finger.
	I'm just happy to see ya.
	Uh-huh.
	Alright.
	I'm ready.
	Hit it.
	Do you have everything?
	Do you have a spreadsheet?
	Do you have your lunch money?
	I got no lunch money.
	Did someone steal your lunch money?
	No, I didn't get any.
	I forgot I left it at home.
	Well, it's not working too well, is it?
	They take it as truth.
	They take it as truth?
	They take it as truth.
	Destroyed.
	Destroyed.
	Destroyed computers.
	Destroyed computers?
	We're really a comedy show.
	This news is funny.
	And it's lame.
	It's just lame.
	Yeah, I do.
	Shut up.
	You do what you gotta do.
	Hey, dude.
	Did you see my cookie?
	I'm short one cookie.
	It's time for the thot.
	I'm always confused.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	Look at... I'm sorry.
	Sorry.
	What was that?
	That was a mistake.
	I messed it up.
	Alright, give me another cue.
	Ten, nine, hit it!
	The Chinese disaster of 2030, I don't know what we're gonna call it.
	The Chinese population disaster of 2030?
	2030.
	I do have a little entremont.
	We've been here six years, we're married, we got two kids.
	I will not get a fair trial in the United States.
	Well, wait a minute, let me change my icon so I reflect my sympathy with the Ukrainians.
	I can't, with authority, answer that question.
	Alright, give me another cue.
	Another cue.
	Hit it.
	That's enough rain stick for today.
	I just can't see you on a skateboard.
	Yeah, they gotta wipe these people out.
	I don't care!
	Why is anyone wasting their time under any circumstances?
	Well, I see the fat lady's done, so hit it.
	Hit it.
	She should have rabies.
	Hello.
	Yeah, here I come.
	It's a Clydesdale.
	I gotta take a dump, I don't have the permit!
	How very dare you, Glenn!
	I'm gonna show my support by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
	Well, now I know what triggers my Tourette's.
	I This stuff.
	You think anyone's still listening?
	Yeah, I think so.
	I think especially in the car where you can crank it up.
	Yeah, I believe so.
	I mean, as I'm listening to it...
	I'm thinking, oh yeah, I remember that, oh yes, and a lot of these openings I do not remember at all.
	I don't remember almost all of them.
	I will say this, we should have done the donation segment at the very beginning of the show.
	We do need support every time we do these things, and people have to know that, but If they're not listening, they're not going to know it.
	I feel bad now that I didn't.
	No, I have a feeling people will listen to it.
	I mean, it's not as long as a normal show.
	Well, then I would like them to put a note in their donation.
	Put a note with your donation.
	There you go.
	anymontdvorak.org slash NA.
	Put a note saying that you heard me say this.
	Some reference.
	I heard, I went halfway through this thing.
	I was listening, John.
	The Powerball number is 17.
	Prove me wrong.
	The Powerball number is 17.
	Put that in.
	There are a lot of people, by the way, that donate after the last show, and they'll all be put together on the Sunday show, so you'll all get mentioned.
	We'll have two donation segments on Sunday.
	Looking forward to that.
	We again thank Rich Coney.
	We're going to get back into it with the rest of our No Agenda openings up to $1,400, which of course leaves room for a future episode where we take it all the way into the $1,500.
	And as a reminder, you need to support the show.
	Go to...
	Now, back to the openings.
	Transnistria or Transmystria?
	Which one is it?
	Why would she kill him after the election?
	She needs to vote!
	When I'm old enough, I'll be lifting the skirts with my cane.
	Name the song Jimmy Osmond's hit.
	They were smart.
	Who are these people kidding?
	I got a weapon right here.
	You can eat the walls.
	Whatever the police tell you to do, news organization, do it.
	Oh, I want to put a surprise on you.
	I'm all wet!
	Acclaimed Internet Pioneer!
	Big Bang Theory?
	Are you kidding me?
	Who cares?
	It's kinda gruesome, yeah.
	A4 paper is ugly.
	Broke the speed limit!
	The titles look good enough.
	Coming to you from the top of the Kremlin, this is the voice of Russia.
	When we're in trouble, I expect help from the chat room.
	Calle 24, Latino Cultural District.
	I have to admit, I listen to each show repeatedly, probably four full times, start to finish.
	Wow.
	Well, things move fast in this world.
	It's Karula Sade Wally Karukwa.
	Dad, do I have to?
	Oh, Dad, do I have to?
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Devorah.
	Squirrels are winning the cyber war.
	So we blew up the Brotherhood pipeline.
	Do they even know how to hold a taco?
	Give in, citizen, give in.
	I think you've, I didn't quite say, I think you've outed Tim Cook.
	Islamic State, that would work.
	Exactly.
	Under the lights on Friday night, information competition with AA Fuel Dragsters going against Funny Cars.
	Good to see everybody who loves God in different ways killing each other.
	Good work, everybody!
	I love how he has that Silicon Valley thing.
	Right?
	Hey!
	Oxidated silver.
	We can sell that on the show!
	We could.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And what did you use for bait?
	A plum.
	A plum?
	Perfect.
	Shakin' and bakin' in that thing.
	I have tech news.
	You have tech news, John?
	I actually have tech news.
	I have a clip.
	It was disgusting.
	I had to turn the show off.
	Ahmed, swallow the key!
	It's all corrupt.
	Sorry.
	I wish he would have done that.
	Now I just sound like a stooge.
	Blind and or asleep to grow pot.
	That's what a greenhouse is for.
	Look at me.
	Boom.
	Any other intro, or is that good enough?
	That's good enough.
	And I went, oh wow, he said, oh wow, oh man!
	It's a QSL Bonanza.
	This is a big deal, your 50th birthday, and so people wanted to chime in on it.
	Come on, we've seen this!
	The most sophisticated terrorist group we've ever seen!
	Bayonet's $1.
	Do you subscribe to Out Magazine?
	And that's the story!
	It's the same outfits, the same costumes!
	Oh!
	There's some good crap going on that you weren't paying any attention to, apparently.
	I can't jump in an F-16 and take off.
	How do you gotta have a positive attitude?
	Oh, really?
	You really work for CBS?
	What's the worst that could happen?
	For making these choices.
	I gotta go see this guy!
	Who does he think he is?
	Oh, it's the mouse guy.
	The plash-flash-flash.
	Everyone looks like a douchebag now.
	Hey, glad to see ya.
	Well, yeah.
	Excuse me.
	We're talking about quarantine from Ebola, not haircuts.
	Beyond stupendous.
	These women don't listen to the show.
	You guys are kind of entertaining, but I'm out.
	Throttle them.
	Let's throttle them.
	Let's throttle them.
	I'm not superstitious.
	Start the show over.
	I'm shaking in my boots now.
	Oh, right.
	You probably stunk.
	Apparently, I'm an idiot.
	Absolutely.
	Let's get some dirt on this and show that it's bogus.
	Buy the gas from us, but you also must buy a rug.
	A threatening note in broken English.
	Oh, you babe.
	You're an automatic chick magnet.
	Six-pound rodents.
	What is he talking about?
	You don't get a time out.
	Last-minute Charlie works for me.
	By the way, we should mention to the Chinese that if we get screwed, the whole world's economy collapses and they're screwed too.
	Oh yeah.
	Get some rockets.
	We'll give you some rockets.
	They should have started booing and throwing paper balls at him.
	Hey, Bill.
	Go drink some poop.
	Hey, there's some really cool pictures of you with this hooker.
	Wow, it's pretty good.
	Yeah, it's pretty good.
	Woo!
	Turning us into Canadians.
	Chief conked out.
	Wait until the Texas oil companies close.
	There's gonna be hookers for $35.
	Don't you worry, there's gonna be plenty of it.
	What is wrong with this idiot?
	A withered old woman.
	Okay, we're taking, uh, we're stopping the show and we're going to talk about this.
	And I've had people write in saying, ah, that guy's full of crap.
	Well, hold on, he told us and then it happened.
	Oh my god, it's amazing how that works.
	It's bootstrapping on its own complexity in an exponential way.
	Okay, Google.
	So they call him Ash.
	Mm-hmm, the big Ash.
	This is designed for porn.
	Maybe she should have cried more.
	This is right now.
	You'd go in pretty far with your hose.
	They don't know anything!
	They're idiots!
	D.C.
	Gay Bar.
	Some skank from the hood.
	It's kinda like the herpes of computer.
	Where's the FBI?
	Like, their arms straight down and they're real stiff and they're just bug-eyed?
	A little less jingles?
	Really?
	That's the kind of idiot she was.
	Everything would not even be an issue if we'd all go vegan.
	Well, this is an outrage.
	We have a master bomb maker on the loose.
	Nothing says I'm Muslim like running around naked.
	Yeah, Austin seems like a stretch.
	You wrote it down and you didn't catch yourself?
	Oh my god, that's a Republican lesbian!
	Baltimore's a shithole, let's start with that.
	Isn't that not the most insulting thing you could do?
	It's crowd control, let's face it.
	That's what it amounts to.
	Hey, hey, hey, how you doing?
	I think a lot of it has to do with the texture of the meat and the flavor.
	And so you buy these intangibles and you get nothing, really.
	So!
	No!
	That's not him!
	Hey, I know a lot of really hot 65-year-old women.
	Fine!
	Yeah, no.
	It would... No.
	Yeah, no.
	Yeah, no.
	But... No, no.
	So this was the scam of the scams.
	No, no.
	It's a sales job.
	It's disgusting what these people do.
	And just beat the crap out of him in the courtroom.
	Nice.
	How about... a big bouffant?
	The entire U.S.
	Navy's running on XP.
	Alright, let's start a spy agency and play spy!
	We can all be cool spies!
	And you can look this up in old newspapers.
	Oh yeah, the lesbians took over.
	How long does it last?
	Well, as long as there's mold.
	There's always mold.
	Right, but it's...
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	But Mimi says that she saw a bald eagle flying, carrying a small kitten.
	Star date, 1414.
	Tonight, a star will be in the sky, just above Venus.
	Alright.
	Okay, Google.
	Alright.
	Okay, Google.
	Alright.
	Okay, Google.
	Like, why do you want that turned down?
	I'm the queen, and she has this rare way of talking that's a lot, a lot, you know, blah, blah, blah.
	But I think, I think, I think.
	20 kids were killed!
	Sounds like a warmonger if you ask me.
	I don't know why anybody's liking this guy.
	I'm going to killing place!
	Oh, that's very funny.
	Someone who's not a scientist telling a scientist what to do.
	Do you have Chardonnay or whatever?
	I want it cold.
	Cold for a meaningful conversation.
	I might even have some nuts.
	Who does these things at quarter to seven?
	Swallowing.
	And if I get an electric car, I'll save the refugees or some crap like that.
	Wait a minute.
	One of the symptoms of the drug is you see the cat?
	Get back to what you're supposed to do, slave!
	Right, I was trying to get you to go to bed with her.
	I feel a little slimy, I don't know, you never, you don't, you feel a little dirty?
	Child abuse, I tell you!
	Start over, worst show ever!
	Oh, please!
	It just gets worse!
	You said I could stop it whenever I wanted!
	I've given it my location away!
	Pack up the van!
	Let's go, let's go.
	And you get to wear a tux and you get to look like James Bond.
	And I was stunned by this.
	Oh, that's his mic, I think.
	I think that's his mic.
	I didn't violate anything.
	You're a boasting.
	Yeah.
	You're a boasting a-hole.
	Yeah.
	And we see the tents are burning.
	Tents are being burnt?
	A lid.
	A lid.
	We're gonna wear dancing slippers?
	Ham Radio could save your life, man.
	It's not just a hobby.
	I have the fire TV stick.
	No.
	It's our buddy.
	You'd be there for days trying to find your passport.
	We are just inundated with propaganda that we're going to be attacked any minute.
	Yes.
	Tape is running.
	Tape.
	Turkey's long overdue for rebelization.
	Who's that one a-hole?
	What do you think of Megan's new hairdo with it kind of tied back?
	Love it!
	Is that right before or after my vape explodes and blows my teeth out?
	Ooh, where'd you get this recipe?
	But do hookers have a certain walk?
	Well, yeah!
	Usually, I'm just spinning.
	When you show up for a Christmas show, you gotta show.
	It's the bomb.
	It's the cat's butt.
	You chaps have more cheek than Kim Kardashian.
	Hey, wanna come in my bomb shelter, kids?
	I got a really disturbing note on my door today.
	You're not following the rules.
	Not following the rules.
	Jihad!
	Well, I don't know if I should drop this bomb on you now.
	Very close.
	John, this is it!
	They finally got it out!
	Oh!
	Oh!
	Oh, I didn't know this was gonna happen!
	Google's saving them.
	Keeping them all safe.
	Safe from bad websites.
	What the hell is a Cylinder of Excellence?
	This is stupid as why.
	They're going nuts.
	Yeah.
	They're going nuts.
	Yeah.
	They're going nuts.
	Yeah.
	Uh, honey, can you get the Viagra vape?
	I'm ready.
	Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy.
	To me, it's the handshake of the devil.
	So how can you cite no proof?
	I have a little thing, a little package.
	Hey, man.
	I'm hearing a ringing sound.
	It's always been that way, Tommy.
	You have to have radiation in your diet.
	Radiation in your diet is fantastic!
	The brainwashing that's going on in this country is frightening.
	And I've got a prediction for the Red Book you watch.
	A report I saw he had no pants on.
	If I was, man, I'd be a lot different on this show.
	These guys are in a bubble.
	You need an E-ticket for that?
	Here's how I'd like to punish women.
	First, I'd like to punch them in the gut.
	What?
	We were doing it for you, Obama.
	Are you really defending Ted Cruz?
	You know he's anti-Semite.
	You have plenty of stuff.
	They stole it from us.
	I'm just going to leave this here.
	Tinfoil hat, conspiracy theory, intruder!
	You're gonna be in the bottom of the list.
	There will be no boots on the ground.
	You want to go for a ride in the fliver?
	Now, what do we want to do at the end here?
	I'll be talking about IMAX on the podcast.
	Hello, Donald.
	This is Vlad.
	Listen.
	Listen.
	Take your soma.
	Take your pills.
	Be happy.
	This just in.
	Apparently, wreckage has been found.
	Com-com-er-tage.
	You might have your furry friend, Microchip.
	Why not your children?
	It stinks, it's got this white goo, and when you chew it, it makes a squeaking sound.
	Is it clear what I'm talking about here, or am I way off base?
	Like, well, you know, it's a public pool.
	But it's great!
	Liberals are psychotic.
	What car comes with a carburetor anymore?
	I think Zucari is a lizard.
	What are you talking about?
	Is there some gay app called Adam to Adam?
	Just stop there for a second.
	Is that not the definition of bigotry?
	What is the point of this messaging?
	It's bullcrap!
	Torture, torture, torture everybody.
	A lot of them look like they put out.
	Are they doing it for people who are too stupid to figure out how to listen to a podcast?
	Talk about overkill!
	Open up!
	Saturday Police!
	Open up!
	Open the door!
	I believe that- I'm believing Q&A is very good right now.
	Holy crap, look at all the boobs we got!
	Essentially... Twisted by porn.
	Yeah.
	No.
	Is that Hillary is the one more likely to get us all killed?
	Easily.
	I'd like to see you in your clothes.
	Do you feel like you're ready?
	I'm ready, I'm ready.
	I was born ready.
	Alright, let's do it.
	Get the little girl to cry.
	Okay, we need some coffee over here.
	People today are not educated.
	Now it seems... Wow, my voice just went up.
	Hello?
	No, I don't want your beans.
	Man, where's the bongos?
	I can't do this anymore.
	I've already cut off 20 ads.
	It's hurting my arm.
	Nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononon The blimp has landed.
	The straightest, sissest, whitest person you can find.
	Sacks of nine.
	We're gonna do this, we're gonna do that, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do that.
	But do we need the Gestapo?
	I've seen a smart stove at Best Buy.
	Hey, we got a donor from Nigeria.
	Hey man, that's cool the president saying come on, man.
	Uh, you have to just assume that Hillary is a devil worshipper and it doesn't surprise me.
	Because when kids wake up, yes, daddy, I don't understand.
	Hey, whatever you say, do not blame the millennials.
	Wasn't their fault.
	Oh man, that's disgusting.
	Boom, that's off the table.
	Buffoon!
	A buffoon, I tell ya.
	Stop fooling yourself.
	And I know it's bullcrap because I've seen the owl.
	Yes, I'm triggered now.
	I'm getting all weirded out.
	This is all about gas?
	Hey, would you like to make ten bucks?
	But it's not an underground bunker.
	Not that you know.
	God, I've failed the ceremony.
	The Stargate will remain open so long.
	Yes, Russians.
	The Russians.
	The Russians are riling up our children!
	This is terrible.
	Mr. Tick, that's right.
	The code was ants.
	You just published a dossier!
	Why do you even torment yourself with this stuff?
	Hello.
	Hello.
	It's me.
	It's me.
	They're gonna have a sex robot?
	Is that what we're talking about?
	Today the Senate voted to take away my right to anoint under pre-existing conditions.
	No, it's not an O-O.
	It's an O. Yeah, yeah, you'll see.
	Soylent Green is people!
	And it sounded like she had hooves.
	Okay.
	So have fun, be positive, and enjoy your amazing job.
	I'm gay.
	I'm gay.
	Hello, I'm gay.
	And I'm gay.
	I'm gay.
	What more do you want?
	I should be on MSNBC.
	It's actually very good.
	I'm so surprised.
	Mandela effect.
	No, it's Mandela effect.
	Or his Twitter feed.
	Look, I'm also with you.
	I'm going to live forever Well she's probably doing sleazy porn on the internet Tiny hands!
	Tiny hands!
	Shake her hand!
	Shake You and you and you and you and... Yes!
	Yes!
	I'm tellin' ya!
	Whoa!
	Hey, you know what happened to me?
	Ha ha ha!
	I'm YouTubing!
	You got kittens?
	You got a little kitten outside?
	Meow!
	Wandering around?
	Boom!
	Done!
	A friend of Dorothy.
	When there's blood on the moon, death lurks in the shadows.
	It was a Western.
	Marry Yourself in Canada offers consulting and wedding photography.
	Like, oh, yes, great.
	MP3 is dead.
	It's dead.
	It's officially killed.
	It's dead.
	No.
	No, they won't.
	No.
	Yes, they will.
	No.
	No.
	He looks like a constipated turtle.
	He's the god of hellfire.
	Whoo!
	Brewskis for everyone!
	Wait, wait, stop!
	Yeah?
	Basketball moment!
	Russia, Russia, Russia.
	Put on your seatbelt!
	Get back to your seats, lady!
	What a short!
	This is not the bottled water I want!
	I've moisturized, I look like a teenager.
	So what's your business, uh, what do you think your business is, uh, gonna be worth with the window broken?
	What?
	I think Van Jones went to Yale.
	Uh, is it, like, really, like, painful death?
	From the richest people to the poorest, from the right to the left, from sea to shining sea.
	Aufwachen, ja, es ist ein sehr bekennender Podcast.
	They even posted about it on Facebook.
	People put their poop on Facebook.
	And with that, I think we should, uh, do some elephant sex.
	Mueller!
	I was unaware of this story.
	Yeah, that's a chick magnet.
	You don't want people waving these things around and poking a hole in a Van Gogh.
	We should have a whole bunch of little kids going, Elon, save me!
	Who are these people?
	Could you imagine a massive fight breaking out at Coachella?
	ISIS is actually coming across the border, John!
	We sound like news execs now.
	And then when the 2400 baud modem came out, we went, wow!
	This thing is twice as fast!
	Stay woke!
	That's right, baby.
	I'm in show business.
	Hashtag DACA.
	This breaks out in San Francisco where they have the poop map.
	At least you got a map.
	Webinars!
	That's too many points!
	That's what I'm saying!
	Boom!
	And Neo-Nazis are planning an attack!
	It's Trump Watch Wednesday!
	My Babe Ruth autographed baseball?
	I don't know about this.
	My Babe Ruth autographed baseball?
	Why did you throw that out?
	I'm looking at this here brain.
	What do you think?
	This is on network TV!
	And we don't run this off a pod bean.
	How do those two guys talk so long?
	Cleon Mata, judge.
	Are you ready now?
	Are you ready?
	Are you okay?
	Are you sure?
	Are you?
	Do it again!
	Do it again!
	Uh, Ben-al-la-to-lee-da-polly-la-um, the bottom.
	Al-wa-lee-ben-ta-lal.
	Yeah.
	Ooh, I love me the smell of a ditto.
	My lightness is dead.
	Aw, yeah, ma-ma.
	My mama lives in the same house we live in.
	Hey, my voice is too fast.
	Oh, it's to the moon!
	And kids, of course, are going nuts for him.
	Da da da da da da da da da da da.
	Just bing it.
	And kids, of course, are going nuts for him.
	Please, cut and paste widely.
	This sounds like a cheap plot to an old Columbo film.
	That's white privilege.
	That's racist.
	Sexist.
	You know, I know a lot of guys who knit.
	It's brain science, man.
	Yeah, uh... Shut up!
	Can't you read English?
	What are they gonna do?
	They can't hit the side of a barn with these missiles.
	Hey mommy, are you a douchebag?
	It's got porn!
	Mocked!
	We've mocked!
	We've mocked!
	We've mocked it!
	Mock!
	The worm came out of his nose!
	They all hate the baby!
	I hate the baby!
	I smelled a rat the minute I read the article.
	A rat.
	Ooh, guns, eh.
	I got new fresh meat!
	You know, she looks like William Shatner.
	Eye worms.
	Small civics lesson, people.
	Yeah, because I had something hot that had to come out of the oven.
	I'm looking, looking left, looking right, looking left, looking right.
	There's a towel.
	There's the oven mitt.
	I said, well, let me use the oven mitt.
	Woo!
	Shut up, ma.
	What are you doing?
	Oh yeah, do you remember Fat Betty?
	What's your demo?
	You don't have enough people in that group.
	What was the point of going to see the little people and shoot hot dogs at them?
	Oh, stop!
	Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
	No!
	No, we gotta eat!
	I learned it by listening to you, okay?
	I'm doing a side hustle.
	Nowadays...
	In Brazil, American sperm demand has skyrocketed.
	Must be stopped!
	Citizens of the globe, the Earth is my home.
	I live on Earth.
	She's almost a dead ringer for Bill Gates.
	Oh, I got a save face.
	Grep Democrat, pipe, grep cat.
	The news in America is suffering a total sellout.
	You think, you think, Al Gore.
	Understated beauties.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	Have your mom do it.
	What were you doing before that happened?
	I don't know why he needs karma for polygraphs.
	Oh, yeah, the millennials are the new dogs.
	Oh, Trump's a creep.
	Oh, yay, Trump.
	It's scrumptious.
	You're taking me away from the dogs, man, but okay.
	Oh, wow.
	Write these things down, John.
	I think that's pretty cool.
	That's pretty cool, right?
	It's cool.
	Isn't that cool?
	Yeah, oh man, this is cool.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Think of your health man.
	I have the device.
	Machine guns in space.
	My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad.
	Cookie.
	Ooh, cookie.
	Q invented Bitcoin.
	Right on, right on.
	Right on, right on.
	Think of your health, man.
	I have the device.
	Well, the whole thing is depressing.
	Anti-science.
	Maybe we need no agenda emergency hammers.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I think one burger is better.
	Nick Pickles, investigator.
	That jingle apparently triggers dogs worldwide whenever we play it.
	Is it false flag season again?
	This guy was 12 years old who interviewed me.
	If she has another facelift, she's gonna end up with a goatee.
	Wake the neighbors, quick!
	Oh, we were hacked!
	We were hacked again!
	We were hacked!
	But I had to leave the grandkids alone to defend the contract.
	Hey, hey Pope, don't worry about it.
	If it is the competition, it's always a good thing to take it out.
	Good, good, good, good, good.
	No writer uses the word lodestar.
	Don't cut in line and stop stealing our secrets!
	It's really cool.
	All this stuff.
	It's really cool, man.
	It's really cool.
	I can see all these things on the watch face.
	It's so cool.
	It's as phony as it comes.
	The FBI doesn't need any help looking like goofballs.
	I'll take the opium and warm orange juice, please.
	If you're a meth head, let us know.
	Either way, you know, it's a part of China.
	Gore has taken it up to a new level.
	Big tech guys, all kinds of tech billionaires.
	We're loaded with tech billionaires.
	Are they gonna prop him up like Obama?
	You've exceeded your bandwidth.
	Headless mannequins, eh.
	Ooh, you made the alien sound that Joe Rogan makes.
	Bullcrap.
	It's the young Kim.
	Racist.
	Shoplifter.
	Thief.
	Gangster.
	Well, I'll see you next time!
	What is going on with those people?
	Oh, you've got to get one!
	Oh, Jesus.
	Yeah.
	Horseman bad.
	Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
	My mind is exploding right now.
	It's a cavalcade cascade of de-platforming.
	What's a dildo?
	Who's listening?
	Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	No, I love Tool.
	Who doesn't?
	Oh, no, Spuzzum's in trouble.
	Oh, okay, now we're going, Marge.
	Oh, Al Gore's the worst.
	He's a demon.
	Oh, okay.
	You are the gadfly of Silicon Valley.
	You sound like a Lebanese merchant.
	No one ever listens to my advice.
	I never thought about it much, but I think you might be right.
	Don't take off the cat channel.
	It's a movie that shouts out to me, don't watch this movie.
	Hey, can I use your video on the saw?
	Do you have your gaffer tape to fix that again?
	I love Clinton.
	You love Clinton.
	There's a song there.
	I hate Super Bowl analysis.
	She's alive!
	Oh my god!
	Hello, Cleveland!
	I love my piehole, Adam.
	I love my piehole, Adam.
	Hurry up, he's gotta go faster.
	That must be a pesticide!
	We gotta buy a beer!
	Creators in space!
	No!
	And... And... And... And... We work hard to create some of the best audio in the world!
	That's a classic!
	Someone has to pay!
	Muller, Muller, Muller, Muller, Muller!
	Okay, we're gonna start delivering dog turds to his house.
	This is not an opening segment, by the way.
	Julianne!
	Call Julianne!
	The files are still alive.
	They're alive!
	Now he's lazy, he's lazy, he doesn't do it right.
	Many producers just sit home, scratch their crotch and say, great show.
	The dope has been burning too hot.
	I need to, we need discovery so people could discover, discover shows.
	Are they hiring people on voice anymore at NPR or are they just hiring anybody?
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	The Chinese are stealing all the toilet paper!
	Hey, I bought to get a dime back.
	Woo!
	What is the deal with luggage?
	Hey, hi, I'm gonna be officiating the wedding.
	Maybe I got a gig, man!
	And I could turn it into a drive!
	Yeah, you gave the machine just the amount of red meat it needed.
	Tiptoe through the tulips.
	I also like women's clothing.
	Close it down!
	Close the website down!
	Yeah, they're in advertising, and we're in advertising, and that's not fair.
	Oh, you're hurting me!
	The brand.
	And it's the brand, and the brand lives, and the brand speaks, and the brand listens, and people connect to the brand.
	and arrest him.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, right on. - Blah, blah, blah.
	He's going down.
	You're a moron.
	Hey man, get the band back on.
	You can step over the body.
	Robert Mueller's my dad.
	Can I get in your car?
	Sign here, maid.
	Um.
	I am a robot.
	I am sustainable.
	You must die.
	Wait, wasn't there a pillow on his head?
	Like with the dog drinking water.
	Why are you like him?
	This is no good!
	The skies are blacked out over Sao Paulo.
	Grenomania!
	And sucking all the scooters up into the air and then throwing scooters all over the place.
	It's Scooter-nado!
	Boom, his eyeball blows out.
	I am the Podfather, listen to me!
	No, it wasn't staged.
	12K lives matter, man.
	Well, that guy got hims to shut up.
	He just took art from Spongebob and put it in.
	There's no budget for it.
	Kick him off Twitter!
	Hey, Progressive Rockin' Canada, eh?
	It's pretty good.
	Rush, great band.
	I love them.
	Turn off the fountain, Jeeves.
	Oh, new phone!
	Let's unbox it.
	Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, It's a nightmare!
	Climate shouse!
	They had these big, giant prawns, man.
	You know, like... ISIS!
	Hang up and hang out!
	Smoke enough dope, anything can happen.
	Will it cook the gophers?
	Peanuts!
	I'm not gonna eat some peanuts!
	Oh, just use GIMP!
	You just walked away.
	You just walked away from the show.
	Okay!
	Okay You know, people going up to Joe like, hey, Joe.
	I had my underpants on, and it was an old lady.
	He's got something wrong with him.
	No, no, no, no thanks.
	Oh, I have to stand in line now.
	He's a classic Nazi.
	Gotta move.
	Gotta move, babe.
	Cholera awaits.
	Let's scupper the deal.
	Scupper.
	He's anti-science!
	Just tell me what's happening with your banana.
	Orange man kill babies!
	Don't!
	Clean out your barn water, people!
	Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!
	Get out of the graveyard, Curry!
	Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!
	Nightmare!
	Choke on the toilet paper, douchebag!
	They told us to be inside and they're not!
	There will be cake!
	For the podcaster, podcaster, let him through, let him go!
	Refried beans, man!
	Anarchy!
	Anarchy!
	Oh my, what if China finds out?
	Lockdown 2020!
	What makes you think you know more than the experts in Washington, D.C.?
	What makes you think you know more?
	Podcasting the truth!
	Rubber meets the road with Joe.
	He's a doer.
	Those boys are just gonna get you into trouble the way they think.
	Oh, no!
	and attorneys say Trump sucks.
	Where the beaches are open.
	Yoo-hoo!
	Son, did you listen to those boys?
	Those nice boys that just did a show?
	More Cayley clips!
	Oh, you know the format should be five minutes!
	Peaceful, peaceful, peaceful.
	Booker's a total Karen.
	Is beyond laughable!
	Oh, uh, privilege, privilege, white privilege!
	You gotta look at this right now, quick, before they take it down!
	Arrest that woman!
	It was terrible.
	There I am again.
	Oh, you know, we're so sorry here in Texas.
	The Texas Surge!
	I think this is an insult to my manhood.
	What a Sunday!
	We need cohesion!
	The Nose Patrol is on the job!
	Ooh, a webinar!
	Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Only outlaws wear neck gaiters.
	Seamus is causing chows!
	My pronouns are Z, Zoom, and Zeus, please.
	Well, are you gonna have somebody defend Hitler?
	I can't believe these pharma companies aren't doing this pro bono.
	There is no bat with this virus.
	Attention humans!
	Flood the zone, JCD!
	This is my show, I ask the questions, you have to do what I say!
	This is a radio guy!
	A radio guy playing vice president!
	Quarantine for two weeks!
	Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa You'll be scarred for life!
	The homeless won't be able to buy anything.
	The homeless!
	They need to be abused.
	I'm a little warm on TV.
	Go we turned our people into light bulbs.
	Rain stick abort!
	Abort!
	Abort!
	It's in our face!
	And they threw her in the slammer for six months.
	There's hope for Jo.
	She was the rubber person.
	No, you take his pants off and then you throw him in the pool.
	Again, irresponsible journalism.
	We represent them!
	Fire!
	Fire!
	Honk!
	Holy moly!
	Will you censor conservative voices?
	Look at this, Mars!
	Uncle Clarence!
	Hey, man, can you turn it down?
	Get tested, get tested!
	Are you listening to the boys this morning?
	Well, get in line, boy.
	Hey, guys!
	Yak, yak, yak, yak about science, science, science!
	Leaking gut!
	I'm important here, I'm from the news!
	Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
	Ooh, ooh!
	What are you expecting, a well-run government?
	Hot mic, hot mic, hot mic!
	Get out of London, people!
	I've got a box I took off the truckie for you.
	I need a goat bong.
	Stand here!
	Oh, that's so funny, what else did you do?
	The end, or the end of the beginning, or the beginning of the end.
	Baseless, baseless, baseless.
	Oh, we're all gonna die.
	Oh, you're gonna get it.
	Oh, wear a mask.
	Bye!
	Bye!
	Whoo, baby, this is so much cooler.
	Oh, high fives!
	That's not good enough!
	Show him the anal swab!
	How ya doin', pickles?
	33, 66, two shots, four weeks, six weeks, booster!
	Just jab him with this and that and see what happens.
	See which ones go nuts and which ones grow a second head.
	Yeah, I actually like my iPhone.
	I don't want to piss anybody off.
	Oh, they might not get the new beta.
	Pull my mask over my nose.
	Is the Milli Vanilli of COVID.
	Normal.
	Take a look around, Anabash.
	Nothing's normal.
	Everyone's doing a podcast.
	Hello.
	Oh, you're talking about some of the woman's appearance.
	Woman's appearance.
	Oh!
	Habit!
	Hey, look at me.
	I got a Ferrari.
	Step aside.
	I just want to be safe.
	Oh, there's a flat rock.
	They're amazing at tracking data.
	Hello!
	Cancel culture is communist.
	Oh, we have a violation!
	Okay, you will all suffer!
	You are being tokenized as we speak.
	A lot of brisket today.
	The podcast story that you picked up on your vacation.
	Oh, it wasn't that great in hindsight.
	I saw... Oh, no!
	Hey, Bill, what happened to Jim?
	He's dead?
	Oh, the vaccine must have been working.
	Just get what you can, get what you can, get what you can.
	They're all the same.
	Get what you can, get what you can.
	Oh, you want the city to clean up the poop.
	You're like a spandex granny.
	I'll tell you what, I'm gonna go do that, my gum.
	Let the shaming begin, Manitoba.
	I can't get on, I can't pose, blah blah blah.
	I hate this, I hate dogs, I hate people, I didn't like it.
	Lock it down, lock down, stay at home order.
	Is that the guy whose head ended up on a turtle?
	We're gonna get you vaccinated and my dog is gonna lick your face if you even just sign up.
	Get on the system.
	The pretty girls are inside.
	Eat a cicada.
	I want you to put it in your mouth.
	Okay, you getting that, Bill?
	You getting the film in it?
	Oh, we do a pretty good job.
	You know, we check all that shit out.
	Oh, no.
	Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
	Oh, I'm so excited!
	My, uh... uh... I have a... an actual knob.
	You gotta train the nub.
	I'll have a shotgun by my side and the hound dog with me.
	What happens to the poop?
	I'm a podcaster, dammit, not a TikToker!
	Organize your next insurrection with this phone!
	No one will know!
	They got low IQ and that's why they're not taking the vaccine.
	Baa!
	Oh my God!
	Date test after you're dead.
	Have more kids.
	Have more kids.
	Jeffrey Toobin's gonna be on a Zoom call.
	You might get lucky.
	What?
	My Sparky died?
	Fabulous!
	These papers look very good.
	Oh, Eureka!
	Oh, wow!
	Yeah, the way it was and what we're supposed to do was not quite the way it worked out.
	Adam Curie, Heinz 557.
	Don't take horse medicine.
	He shreds, man.
	So dope, he shreds on NPR.
	Life is a scam.
	They're still testing aspirin.
	I didn't say, I never talked to the guy.
	I didn't say that.
	Oh my god, you know.
	Oh.
	It's live!
	This needs to come out.
	Stop eating our dogs!
	She can't stand John's voice.
	What?
	Live!
	That gave me goose bumps.
	I mushed dogs.
	Yes, yes, I was.
	And he's stealing the code!
	Look at what we got here!
	They're all made of wood!
	Congratulations!
	All you have to do is take the shot.
	Why didn't you take the shot?
	Boom!
	You're right in.
	VR Google.
	Free box of ammo.
	It's an elder abuse on your part.
	But they're not here!
	The beggars aren't here!
	What show has koozies?
	Go back to printing money.
	These guys are dumb.
	Act now while stocks last.
	Takes two weeks.
	You got the holidays coming up.
	But wait, there's more.
	There is.
	Okay.
	Yeah, sure.
	It was disgusting!
	They deserve to lose!
	I'm gonna go get my shot now!
	It looks like the Great Wall of China!
	I'm very sorry.
	Party!
	Oh, I'm so offended!
	The Queen's a lizard!
	Yeah, hall monitor!
	Oh no, it's an outrage!
	Hey, guess what?
	Hey, get off the tracks!
	Yeah, well, you might as well say it now.
	She stinks.
	I think this is the Russians.
	Oh, no.
	We can't compete with this.
	He kills dogs!
	Hottest year on record!
	Kanye on line one for Seth.
	Thank you, Adam.
	I love working with you.
	Boobs are in.
	Well, looks like a woman.
	Hey, we're all broke.
	Hey, you can turn Cleveland into Paris.
	Hey, you guys are working for us.
	I don't like skulls.
	We used to edit with a razor blade.
	Hook, line, and sinker.
	You're the one that's all lockstep with Fox News.
	Groovy.
	Woo, perp walk.
	Free and open internet.
	Electronic brain.
	Correlation does not imply causation.
	Pierre, expand the salon.
	We're coming.
	Oh, no!
	No!
	He's slippery.
	He's slippery.
	He's very, very slippery.
	Keep the guy in the line.
	We're putting a trace on the call.
	Stand alone monster.
	Where's Clooney?
	Wait, you're bumped by a staffer?
	She's the Yoko of the Royals, man.
	Boots on the ground, baby.
	Picks the can down the road.
	You can't be a social network without content moderation.
	Are you gonna wear that?
	Incompatible hardware!
	I smell Victoria Newland.
	Release the orb!
	Say it's not so!
	If you know, you know!
	He's resorted to being an Uber driver.
	Look at all these boxes.
	We love you!
	Live!
	This is an outrage.
	They're out of control.
	Hey, traffic control, shut it down!
	Hottest day ever on Earth of all time!
	Okay, Frenchie.
	Game, set, match.
	The lizard people win.
	The carbon is you.
	Take your pants off in public.
	I'm an egg white.
	You're boiling like frogs.
	We're leading the op.
	Wow.
	All right, your Powerball number has switched to 13.
	Let's see if anyone hears this.
	Banana melons.
	Smash that like button.
	All right, your Powerball number has switched to 13.
	Let's see if anyone hears this.
	I liked it.
	I really appreciate what Rich did.
	I really do.
	It's a piece of history, man.
	It's almost as good as having a Sony 777.
	What?
	Oh, the old Letterman shows, yeah.
	It was experimental.
	We do experimental stuff when we're not here, and that was one of them.
	Yeah, you know what's going to happen?
	Tell us what you think.
	There's going to be a broadcast museum in the history.
	Not a single one of our episodes will be in it, but they'll put this thing in.
	Yes, they will.
	That's exactly right.
	That's our legacy right there.
	This is what they did, weren't they funny?
	Yeah, exactly.
	He's so funny!
	That's okay, because you can listen to a full regular media deconstruction coming up on Sunday, the 27th.
	I'll be back at home base, and I'll be coming to you from the heart of the Texas Hill Country.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from Northern Silicon Valley, where I stay.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We return on Sunday.
	Please join us.
	And remember, we'll be doing a long donation segment, so remember us at dvorak.org.
	Until then, Adios, Mofos!
	Thank you, Rich Koenig!
	Hui, hui!

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