No Agenda - 710: Joy Brigade

All Episodes

Previous Next

April 5, 2015 - No Agenda

02:47:38

710: Joy Brigade

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	That's the kind of idiot she was.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Sunday, April 5th, 2015.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation media assassination episode 710.
	This is no agenda.
	Celebrating John and Jesus and broadcasting live from the Crackpot Condo in downtown Austin, FEMA Region 6 in the morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where the rain is rolling in, finally, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	I want to give weather reports.
	Exactly.
	Only on the eights, though.
	You know, you playing that harp reminds me of last night.
	Oh, God.
	Oh, yes.
	I hope it's not what you're going to say.
	I don't know what you think I'm going to say.
	Well, I don't know, but...
	I'll tell you.
	Christina and I went to the Stevie Wonder Songs in the Key of Life Experience Tour here in Austin.
	Stevie Wonder's on the road?
	Yeah.
	Oh, good.
	Man, it was fantastic.
	At the Frank Irwin Center, which I've never been to, that's a 16,000 seat arena, which was almost full.
	They can't sell the seats at the side, back of the stage, but there must have been 12,000 people there.
	What's this arena normally used for?
	Basketball.
	Oh, okay.
	But I would just say concerts, pretty much, but also basketball.
	And at a certain point...
	It's on the campus of UT? Yes, it is.
	At a certain point, all of a sudden I went, what?
	Dvorak's here?
	But it was Stevie playing a harmonica, so...
	Yeah, exactly the same.
	Yeah.
	You wouldn't know the difference.
	I have to say, John, if you have an opportunity, you've got to go to this.
	You've really got to go to this show.
	It's like a three and a half hour show.
	The guy doesn't stop.
	And he's preaching a message of love, and everybody was all singing in the love, and everyone says the love fest.
	It was nice.
	He played a new instrument, which I think we should investigate.
	Okay.
	The Harpegee.
	Harpegee.
	Are you familiar with the Harpegee?
	No, there's a bunch of these.
	It's like a harmonica, but it's not kind of instruments.
	There's a slew of them.
	Yeah, but it's not the Harpegee.
	The Harpegee, H-A-R-P-E-J-J-I, is a stringed musical instrument developed in 2007 by Tim Meeks, founder of Marcotti Musical Products, And the instrument aims to bridge the gap in sound and technique between guitar and the piano.
	Playing surface has an isomorphic keyboard layout arranged in ascending whole tones across strings.
	The ascending semitones as the strings travel away from them.
	It looks like one of those things.
	What's the name of those things?
	Looks a bit like a zither.
	Yeah, the ones the hippies used to play.
	The auto harp.
	Remember the auto harp?
	That was no good.
	But India Arie was the special guest.
	I mean, the whole thing was just really good.
	Greg Phelan Gaines, musical director.
	He had 30 musicians on stage.
	He had 30 musicians and 30 Stevie Wonder hits and a good time is had by all.
	I'll bet.
	Sounds good.
	I'm looking at this crazy thing.
	I can't figure it out.
	And the cool thing is, to Christina, so, you know, there's two generations there, and all of a sudden she goes, oh, cool, he's doing Gangs of Paradise!
	Which, you won't get that joke, but someone out there will.
	Okay.
	Never mind.
	Well, that's good.
	I'm glad you got out.
	Yes.
	Yep, yep, yep.
	And...
	And unfortunately, I only had two days and not a lot of traveling because I was busting my ass yesterday, obviously, during the whole day trying to get the prep done so I could go to the show.
	And so I only had an opportunity to take two Ubers.
	Uber!
	And just had American drivers.
	How disappointing.
	How disappointing.
	Oh, you got screwed.
	Yeah, because I was all ready and we have the...
	I'm going to go do my research.
	Nothing.
	We have a jingle here.
	I'm sorry?
	Show's over.
	No, it's not over.
	But I had a cool jingle.
	jingle.
	I just have no reason to play it now, so I'll play it gratuitously.
	We're kept in the loop with a super-duper group of uber spies.
	Who did that?
	That is...
	Ron Aldridge did that for us.
	We're kept in the loop by the super-duper group of uber-spies.
	That should do it.
	Hey, John, happy birthday!
	Oh, thank you.
	Happy birthday, happy Easter.
	Happy birthday to you, Adam McCurdy.
	Happy birthday to all ships at sea and boots on the ground.
	Yeah.
	Did you receive any gifts?
	Is everyone down visiting you, or what's going on?
	Yeah, everyone's visiting.
	Okay.
	Everybody?
	I haven't gotten any gifts.
	The gift thing, because Mimi is a gift Nazi.
	Oh.
	And she has rules about gifts.
	Do you want to share some of them with us?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Christmas?
	Yeah.
	You get to open your gifts around close to midnight.
	We used to...
	Not on the eve, on Christmas.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	And so you open all your gifts and you have nothing for Christmas morning?
	No, no.
	This is Christmas night.
	Oh, you go through the whole day.
	Got it, got it.
	Your Christmas morning gift is anticipation and a sock.
	You get to open that.
	And did the sock have a mandarin at the toe?
	My parents used to do that.
	I mean, I'm sorry, Santa used to do that to me.
	I don't know what that even means, what you said.
	Well, you'd hang your stocking by the fire with care, and then in the morning you'd wake up, and then the sock was on the end of your bed with some stocking stuffer things in there.
	But in the toe, Santa would always put a mandarin, and it was like, I'm not going to eat this.
	This is dumb.
	I don't even know what you're talking about.
	A mandarin?
	A mandarin orange?
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	No.
	This such a thing has never been heard of in the United States.
	Anything.
	Anyplace.
	This has never been done.
	Boom.
	There you have it.
	We would be using...
	What are those little ones called?
	The sweeties or something?
	Little one what?
	Those little oranges that are actually Mandarin oranges.
	I don't know, John.
	I don't know.
	They come in a bag.
	Okay, so you have, when will you receive, when does the gift Nazi allow you to receive gifts?
	Probably sometime after dinner.
	Oh, okay.
	Are you expecting anything?
	Are you excited?
	No, they've given up.
	I've gotten all my good gifts over the years.
	You know, what are they going to get me?
	Another harmonica?
	You should really, I mean, you should get the Stevie Wonder songbook.
	I'm sure you can do some of these songs.
	I'm sure you can do a couple.
	Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you.
	He totally admitted he's not blind.
	What?
	Yeah.
	On stage.
	Yeah.
	All of a sudden he goes into this whole routine.
	It was very improv.
	Very, very improv.
	I mean, he had another persona, DJ Tick Tick Boom, and he's doing all this club.
	I mean, just crazy, but very funny.
	And then he's like, ah, yeah, that blind thing, we've put a lot of success on that, huh?
	And he's like, yeah, I'm waiting for my new Tesla so I can drive it around.
	He's just cracking all these jokes.
	And I said, yeah, when I was 11, my mommy said, what are we going to do with little Stevie?
	Oh, I know.
	Let's tell everybody he's blind.
	That was good.
	That was very good.
	Well, while you were out doing that, I went to Target.
	Sorry to hear that.
	Yeah.
	So I went there for the sole purpose of buying some biz.
	Some what?
	Biz.
	Biz?
	Yeah, this is a product that used to be owned by Procter& Gamble, and everybody heard of it.
	And then they sold it to some other boneheads.
	We think they may have sold it to another group.
	And so nobody's heard of it, even though it is the greatest thing.
	So I'm looking up the...
	I remember when it came out back in the day, or at least around there.
	It was developed at...
	The Europeans apparently used this stuff successfully for a while, but people have lost interest in it.
	Is this the Biz Stain and Odor Eliminator?
	Yeah.
	Uh-huh.
	So Biz Stain, I want to give people a tip on this because I want everyone to try to find it.
	Because Target used to have it, now that you have to go, I don't know where I'm going to get it.
	But try washing towels and this stuff.
	And the way it works, it's enzymes.
	That do the cleaning.
	It's science.
	It's science is what it is.
	It's very scientific.
	Science!
	You have to be careful.
	It has to be cold water.
	So you take cold water, you put it in a washing machine, put a big giant chunk of the stuff in there, and then you get it so it's all dissolved.
	Then you let it sit for six hours.
	This is the old, they don't even talk about this anymore.
	And then you just run the washer as though it was detergent.
	It foams up a little bit and cleans.
	The cleanliness you get out of this is outrageous, especially for towels.
	There is no odor.
	They're fresher, they're brighter looking, they're just dynamite.
	Perfect.
	I can't believe how fresh my linen feels.
	You have no idea.
	Do you think I'm kidding?
	No, I believe you.
	Well, anyway, but it has to be all cold.
	Everything has to be cold, and it's really a strange process, and they gave up trying to market it.
	And heck with it.
	And of course, it's not owned by Procter& Gamble, so they don't know how to market it, because apparently only P&G and Colgate-Palmol are the only guys who seem to know how to market this sort of thing to the public.
	I think there's a lot of under-the-table...
	Well, they have a website, John Good News, bizstainfighter.com.
	I just did 94105, and you can get it at the Safeway on Jackson Street.
	I would get a thing.
	Or the Safeway Lifestyle on King Street.
	Whatever the case, I was running out, so I went to Target, and I was very disappointed that there wasn't any there.
	I'm sorry to hear that.
	Yeah, I'll go to the site.
	Maybe I can find a place to source for it.
	It's a dynamite product.
	Since this is the once in a 300-year opportunity to celebrate your birthday on Easter, are you celebrating any type of Easter thing?
	Do you guys do that?
	We're going to go out to dinner.
	Okay.
	You don't have to cook?
	Or so, where Dame Tanya works occasionally.
	Oh, nice.
	But I don't know if she's going to be working tonight.
	She stopped listening to the show.
	She's a man overboard.
	Oh, hold on.
	This is another one.
	You don't have to do it.
	I have to reset all the jingles, I think.
	Man overboard!
	I need a bigger pad.
	A bigger touch pad for all the jingles.
	What's the size of your pad?
	It's an iPad.
	It's an original iPad 1.
	Well, just get two of them.
	That's a little complicated, but yeah.
	More stuff to carry.
	No, I just need a different system, I guess.
	I don't know.
	Well, I did do some work.
	Some actual work occurred.
	And, of course, I've been extremely interested in the Iranian deal, which, as you know, a framework came to pass.
	A framework means, yeah, kind of, I feel like, yeah, maybe.
	We'll figure it out in the next few months.
	I have a bunch of Iranian clips that I'll try to weave into what you're doing.
	Why don't I... Well, what I did is I took...
	The President, President Obama, did a little talk there in the Rose Garden, and it was about 20 minutes, and it was very consistent with the messaging.
	They do this well, and I'm pretty sure this, of course, is, you know, we've got Megan from Google there now, and we've got, who was the head of engineering from Facebook?
	He's now also at the White House.
	He's...
	Sheryl Sandberg?
	No, no, no, no, no.
	Head of...
	Kind of a joke there.
	No, I get the joke.
	So the email blast that went out was very consistent with the same words.
	The president used the same words in his podcast, which he released today, which is very boring.
	I'm not going to play any of that.
	But this 20-minute speech was interesting.
	And right off the bat, I discovered that I've been...
	Well, surprise, surprise.
	I have been...
	Using the language incorrectly for all my life.
	Today, the United States, together with our allies and partners, has reached a historic understanding with Iran.
	This sounds so strange to me.
	I am so used to saying an historic instead of a historic.
	And apparently this is wrong.
	No, I can kind of explain a little bit of that.
	Okay.
	There's a couple of people out there, linguists, English grammarians that have radio shows.
	And one of a guy who I can't...
	I haven't heard him for years because I think it took him off one of our local stations.
	I should dig up his website.
	He explained this.
	And he says that right as of now...
	The more modern way of doing it is to stop using an.
	This is what I understand as well.
	I didn't know that this was incorrect.
	I've always been saying...
	It's not incorrect.
	Well...
	It's just not modern.
	What I understand, the research I found, I did research on it, because I wanted to call him out and say...
	Well, you were upset about it.
	Well, yeah.
	I listen to words, and why isn't he doing an historic?
	He's a historic.
	It just doesn't feel right.
	I don't like it.
	I don't like it either.
	I don't think it flows as well.
	But you don't have to use it.
	You can still say an historic.
	Yes, but you don't say...
	Oh my God!
	Shoot him!
	I think it has to do with the type of H that you're using.
	For instance, you don't say an herb garden or an hour.
	I say an hour.
	I do say an hour.
	It's an honor?
	Yeah.
	But I don't say an herb garden.
	Maybe I do.
	It kind of flows together, I guess.
	I don't know.
	Okay, so the modern way is to say it that way.
	Is there no rule?
	Don't we have a rule book for English?
	It's such a great language.
	You've got to find these guys who know.
	Oh, no, no, don't do that anymore.
	Who decides this?
	Another one that's suddenly out of vogue.
	I still use it.
	But who the bell tolls?
	Now it would be who the bell tolls.
	And then while or whilst?
	I still like throwing a whilst in there sometimes.
	I think I've used whilst once in a while, but I rarely do.
	There's nothing I would say verbally.
	Sounds a bit pretentious.
	I'm a rule follower, so if the rule is that we have to do it, then I'll do it.
	There you go, rule followers.
	Very good, children.
	Then, of course, the president said the thing that I... One of the things I... It hurts me every single time he does it.
	Every single time he does it.
	Can we go back to that rule follower thing for a second before you go on?
	Yeah, sure.
	I've been wondering about this because I'm always expected...
	People that say this, I'm a rule follower.
	How come you're not a...
	Are you a rule follower?
	I'm expecting someone to ask me this someday.
	Okay.
	And I'm going to say not necessarily.
	You want to try it out?
	Should I just try it out for a second?
	Yeah, let's do it.
	Okay.
	Hey, John.
	Yeah?
	Are you a rule follower?
	No, if the rule sucks...
	In the morning.
	Hey, Leo, how about you?
	I'm a rule follower.
	Okay, just want to make sure you're still on board.
	So here's the thing that the President does time and time again.
	He switches it up sometimes, but this is the one that irks me the most.
	As President and Commander-in-Chief, I have no greater responsibility than the security of the American people.
	Ah, here we go.
	I'm sorry.
	That is incorrect.
	President 44.
	Incorrect, sir.
	Incorrect.
	Your greatest responsibility is to uphold and protect the Constitution, not the security of the American people.
	Why does no one ever fall?
	Why am I the only guy?
	Well, because you're the only one who gives a crap about this.
	I guess so.
	It irks me to no end.
	Well, and the media doesn't care.
	In fact, I don't want to change the subject because it's only a short bit, but I did run into a piece on who beat up Harry Reid.
	Did you run into this?
	Yes, but do you have a clip about it?
	No, I have no clip.
	I just have a piece of it.
	Apparently his brother.
	His brother Larry.
	Yeah.
	And his other brother Larry, apparently.
	But his brother Larry is a drunk, and he's in Alcoholics Anonymous, and apparently beat up Harry.
	Hold on a second.
	Now, is he a recovering alcoholic?
	No, he apparently is not recovering, but he is an AA member trying to recover.
	Okay, well, it's a serious disease, so let's not just take light of that.
	I didn't take light of it.
	You said he's a drunk.
	What can I say?
	It's not light.
	I don't mean it lightly.
	I'm not joking.
	Whatever the case was, he came into an AA meeting with witnesses, and he said he beat up somebody.
	He never said who, but he was worried that the Secret Service was out to get him.
	He was anonymous at the meeting and named Larry, and then the next day he was busted on some DUI. His picture was in the paper, and all the members of the group in the AA meeting said, oh, look at that.
	That's who it was.
	But the kicker of the story is not...
	That his brother beat him up to me.
	And I have an article on a little website that just discussed this in detail.
	So the kicker was a couple of the members of the group called the local TV station and said to them, hey, we found out who beat up Harry Reid.
	And they went on and on.
	And the station said, we're not interested.
	Of course not.
	This to me was the kicker because this is the problem with the media and the only reason that our show even exists.
	Turn off your television.
	We're not interested.
	I mean, if I was a news director at a local station and somebody called me up with this tip, I could already imagine the teases.
	Was it Harry Reid's brother who beat him up?
	Details at 11.
	Cain and Abel were nothing compared to Larry and Harry.
	News at 11.
	It's just, you'd want to watch this.
	But no, they weren't even interested in the story.
	Then that means they've been told not to do it.
	Well, that's a possibility too, which is even worse.
	You don't like your broadcast license, son?
	Yeah.
	Alright, back to Iran.
	By the way, we'll all be licensed on the internet, too.
	Oh, I have some proof of that.
	Oh, yeah.
	Then the president goes on, and he's mentioned three options, which the second one was just...
	I just found it pretty interesting that he just came out and said this.
	But the fact is, we only have three options for addressing Iran's nuclear program.
	First, we can reach a robust and verifiable deal, like this one.
	And peacefully prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon.
	The second option is we can bomb Iran's nuclear facilities.
	Bomb them.
	We need to kill and bomb them.
	Bomb them.
	We need to kill and bomb them.
	Bomb them.
	We need to bomb them.
	We need to kill them and bomb them again.
	I just find it kind of cavalier.
	We could bomb the fuck out of them if we wanted to.
	Not a problem.
	Thereby starting another war in the Middle East.
	Another one?
	Yeah.
	Mm-hmm.
	Yeah, we don't need that.
	Setting back Ron's program by a few years.
	In other words, setting it back by a fraction of the time that this deal will set it back.
	Meanwhile, we'd ensure that Iran would race ahead to try and build a bomb.
	Third, we could pull out of negotiations.
	Pull out.
	Try to get other countries to go along and continue sanctions that are currently in place or add additional ones and hope for the best.
	This isn't setting back anything.
	No.
	It's making it stay in place.
	How's it setting it back?
	Are they going to forget the research they've done?
	So this particular deal, I feel, is so multi-pronged, but it really is, once again, about the 2016 elections.
	No doubt about it.
	So the way this is set up, and I didn't clip all of this stuff, but we have the framework, then the negotiators will work on this, and the details will be fleshed out through June, which probably will mean it'll go all the way through summer, and then we'll start getting it full force in the sweeps week for the fall season.
	And, of course, this is right around the time when we need to really start making everybody look stupid, particularly the Republican Party.
	They need to be looked like they are putting the entire world in danger.
	And the president was very clear about calling them out, which is, this is a setup.
	And the Republicans, by the way, are going to use this exact same deal for their benefit.
	So this is a, it will be such a huge dividing issue amongst the The people who still do vote in the country.
	But it'll further divide red, blue, left, right, Democrat, Republican.
	You have to remember that when Obama first ran for president and made all his promises, which now he's beginning to, you know, after seven years, his last year, he's trying to implement a few of them.
	And one of them, if you recall, besides closing down Gitmo, which he's apparently never going to manage, even though it was the number one thing, he...
	Right.
	Right.
	Who would talk to these horrible people?
	We shouldn't talk to them ever.
	And McCain, of course, is leading the charge, especially the first go-round.
	And we can't talk to them.
	I don't know if we can't because they're unreliable.
	And I have a funny clip that's kind of long.
	Can I just put in the little threat that he puts here?
	I only have this and one more quick clip.
	Then I want to go to yours.
	Yeah.
	So this is just showing the strategy behind the deal.
	And I'm sure that he's...
	I am pretty confident that he said, hey, take your time.
	announce, we're good to go, And this is just like any big merger.
	If you want the stock price to pop, there's things you want to do.
	And we want some political capital stock price to pop on this.
	So we need to, whatever we do, if this fails...
	It's the Republicans.
	If Congress kills this deal not based on expert analysis and without offering any reasonable alternative.
	Then it's the United States that will be blamed for the failure of diplomacy.
	International unity will collapse.
	International unity will collapse, John!
	It will collapse!
	The conflict will widen.
	The conflict will widen.
	The American people understand this.
	Yes, they do.
	Which is why solid majorities support a diplomatic resolution to the Iranian nuclear issue.
	So the gauntlet has been thrown down.
	Not like that, but the Republicans have always been critical of Obama for not being diplomatic.
	Well, there's more to this.
	He's really painting them into a corner, and the only...
	One of the guys...
	I mean, it's like a sucker's game, and they have the suckers already lined up.
	Oh.
	Yes.
	And the only guy that's kind of...
	The one mysterious situation, and the guy kind of caught in the middle, is the next new head of the Senate on the Democrat side, which is Schumer.
	Because Schumer is in Israel's pocket.
	He's their guy.
	And he doesn't know what to do.
	It's hilarious to watch.
	He'll just blame it on the Republicans.
	Well, he's not blaming anybody.
	He's not saying anything.
	Not yet.
	Neutral.
	One more piece.
	One more piece here.
	This deal.
	This is so clear.
	Goodbye, Hillary.
	Goodbye, Elizabeth Warren.
	Hello, John F. Kerry!
	And most of all, on behalf of our nation, I want to express my thanks to our tireless, and I mean tireless, Secretary of State John Kerry, and our entire negotiating team.
	They have worked so hard to make this progress.
	They represent the best tradition of American diplomacy.
	And there is now a rumor he could be up for a Nobel Peace Prize.
	Kerry?
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	I told you this guy thinks he's going to be president.
	It's so obvious.
	I wish they'd run him again.
	It would be so much fun, wouldn't it?
	Well, the problem is then you'd get a Republican in and you'd have an economic collapse and the Democrats would be in office for it.
	I have issues with that.
	A Democrat has to be elected.
	Did you see him?
	Well, he's a Democrat.
	He won't get elected.
	I said a Democrat has to be elected.
	He's not electable.
	Because of his head?
	Because he's an a-hole.
	Oh!
	Oh, okay.
	And Hillary Clinton's not?
	You know, he's running George Bush's second term and he couldn't beat George Bush?
	Please.
	Did you see Bibi Netanyahu's response?
	Yeah, I did.
	Would you like to...
	He didn't like it.
	Sure, he did not.
	I'd like to share this with the group.
	Yesterday, an Iranian general brazenly declared...
	And I quote...
	Brazenly.
	Now, I could not really attribute this quote.
	I couldn't really find it.
	I made it up.
	Excuse me?
	Netanyahu made it up.
	Israel's destruction is non-negotiable.
	Israel's destruction is non-negotiable.
	Where exactly did I hear this quote?
	I couldn't find it.
	I could find lots of sources.
	And what's the general got to do with negotiations about anything?
	Who was this general?
	Did he name his name?
	He would have named his name.
	Did he name his name?
	Nope.
	Oh!
	But evidently...
	Giving Iran's murderous regime a clear path to the bomb is negotiable.
	This is unconscionable.
	I agree with those who have said that Iran's claim that its nuclear program is only for peaceful purposes doesn't square with Iran's insistence on keeping underground nuclear facilities, advanced centrifuges, and a heavy water reactor.
	This is where everyone's eyes glaze over.
	Nor does it square with Iran's insistence on developing ICBMs and its refusal to come clean with the IEA on its past weaponization efforts.
	At the same time, Iran is accelerating its campaign of terror, subjugation, and conquest throughout the region.
	Those are some good words there.
	He's got a good writer.
	Terror, subjugation, and conquest?
	Campaign of terror, subjugation, and conquest throughout the region, most recently in Yemen.
	Yes, that's correct.
	And U.S. jets are refueling...
	The Saudi...
	Our tankers are refueling the Saudi jets.
	Good.
	Yeah.
	The concessions offered to Iran in Lausanne would ensure a bad deal that would endanger Israel, the Middle East, and the peace of the world.
	This guy's an a-hole.
	He is.
	Now is the time for the international community to insist on a better deal.
	A better deal would significantly roll back Iran's nuclear infrastructure.
	I think he's drinking.
	He sounds a little bit...
	A better deal would significantly hold back.
	He does sound drunk.
	I think he lost his little battle there with these negotiations, because heaven forbid that the Iranians become part of the system.
	I think he's just drinking away, man.
	Let's try it again.
	A better deal would significantly roll back Iran's nuclear infrastructure.
	A better deal would link the eventual lifting of the restrictions on Iran's nuclear program to a change in Iran's behavior.
	Iran must stop its aggression in the region, stop its terrorism throughout the world, and stop its threats to annihilate Israel.
	That should be non-negotiable.
	There you go.
	And that's the deal that the world powers must insist upon.
	Okay, good luck with that.
	Yeah, good luck.
	It just seems like this is politicized.
	Iran is already our friend.
	We're giving them enough centrifuges to put into a matrix or parallel to absolutely create a nuclear weapon.
	Well, there's a number of good observations about this.
	And a couple of these clips will explain it.
	But first, we have to play this clip, which I've been itching to play.
	Because one of the guys on our watch list, the No Agenda watch list, is quoted on this.
	Okay.
	This is the Iran and Guess Who clip, and this is a backgrounder.
	The path to conflict will widen.
	The president telephoned top Republican and Democratic leaders to outline the deal.
	Many lawmakers reacted cautiously, insisting on more details.
	Democratic Senator Charles Schumer of New York, typically a strong White House ally, said nothing positive, saying only the deal deserves careful, rigorous, and deliberate analysis, adding he will give it a very careful look.
	Freshman Republican Senator Tom Cotton of Arkansas has seen enough.
	The terms announced today are not as bad as I had feared.
	They're much worse.
	They put Iran on a path to a nuclear weapon, whether Iran follows those terms or whether Iran breaks those terms.
	The only blame that's deserved is President Obama for starting down this dangerous path and now continuing down it.
	The president insists Iran can be forced to open up its nuclear program to international inspections.
	John, this is great that you played this.
	Because this Cotton guy, he is being set up so hugely for such a massive fall.
	Have you seen what they're doing to him?
	I don't know what you're talking about, but I do find it peculiar that most of the House and Senate are on vacation for Easter, and he's still hanging around.
	And this guy, Tom Cotton, who was the lead author on the 47-Senator open letter to Iran...
	He's now going on all the shows, but he's being asked new questions, which he immediately tries to steer away from.
	Now, we've discussed Tom Cotton, and we believe...
	Well, actually, we have some photographic evidence of him in a gay bar, and...
	This quick marriage that came down.
	Insta-marriage.
	Insta-marriage.
	The beard is in place.
	Now, we don't know, and it doesn't really matter.
	Other than that, here's where he's being set up, and you just can wait for this.
	Put it in the Red Book.
	Well, Wolf in Arkansas, we believe in religious freedom.
	That's one reason why our former...
	Everybody believes in religious freedom.
	Well, that's one reason why our former...
	But the question is the discrimination, potential discrimination against gay Americans.
	The Religious Freedom Restoration Act was signed by former Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton in his first year in office.
	These laws are modeled on that, and a lot of the concerns about discrimination haven't been born to bear over the last 20 years.
	But I also think it's important that we have a sense of perspective about our priorities.
	In Iran, they hang you for the crime of being gay.
	This thing is an outrage what he's saying here.
	Be saying, hey, we're better than Iran because if you're gay there, we hang you.
	They're currently imprisoning an American preacher for spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ in Iran.
	We should focus on the most important priorities that our country faces right now.
	And I would say that a nuclear-armed Iran...
	Let's move it away.
	Let's go back to the nuclear thing because I just said something crazy about Iranians killing gays.
	And here's the headline.
	Here's the headline.
	I like the way he mispronounces Iran.
	Oh, yeah.
	We know it's Iran.
	He's never been read in.
	Because he's set up for the fall.
	Here's the headline.
	Tom Cotton.
	Anti-gay.
	Turns out he's gay.
	Well, there's no anti-gay.
	Where's the anti-gay part of him?
	Ah.
	Okay, where's the anti-gay part of the Religious Freedom Act?
	It's not in there either.
	That's very easy.
	You just say, he's a Republican first of all.
	You're a Republican, you've got to be anti-gay.
	It's just another gay Republican.
	Yeah, you wait for it.
	Why is he hiding it?
	Why was he hiding it?
	He married this woman.
	Marriage was a sham.
	Here's the way it would work.
	Marriage was a sham.
	If he's so religious, why would he swear to God that he's going to be with this woman when he likes men?
	Why doesn't he just admit it?
	Why doesn't he just come out with it?
	Did he try to fool the church?
	Did he lie to the pastor?
	Man, you just did all the CNN segments right there in 10 seconds.
	Except they'll do it in 10 days.
	Well, they have to stretch it.
	So I just wanted to point out that this guy, he's cruising for a fall.
	Alright, back to your clips.
	Alright, so that's him.
	The funny thing is he's mentioned in almost all the different clips from all the different places.
	Well, when you say in Iran, do you know how outrageous that is?
	In Iran, they kill you.
	Yeah, how about Saudi Arabia?
	Why don't you mention that while you're at it?
	Well, that's a good point.
	Yeah, he's not going to say that.
	Or Bahrain, for that matter.
	Or Dubai, or any of these places.
	Yeah.
	Or, you know, Corpus Christi.
	Sorry.
	Corpus.
	Sorry about that.
	Alright, so what do we got here?
	I think, what's this Schuller clip?
	Oh no, that's not Schuller.
	I was thinking Schumer.
	I get my clips mixed up.
	Let's go with this is interesting.
	Let's do the long clip.
	You have to break this up.
	This is the Iran deal with real skeptics.
	And is this the guy?
	No.
	Just play this and see where it goes.
	Under this agreement.
	And that's what we have done.
	Our bottom line is here in terms of what we need to do.
	This is Marie Harf.
	Yeah, she's out there.
	She's back.
	Nice.
	Good to have her in the press conference.
	It wasn't interesting enough to get too much out of because this is part of another package.
	Right.
	So I listened to it.
	It was just except for a couple of little items which we may put on the next show.
	She just flew in and her arms were tired.
	What's-his-name's not there.
	She was glaring at some guy who took over his spot.
	Like, you're sitting in his seat.
	Really?
	Yes.
	I mean, it was a stink guy.
	Let's continue with Marie Harf.
	Oh, and this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.
	Under this agreement, and that's what we have done.
	It's the same girl.
	Our bottom lines here in terms of what we needed to get at the negotiating table have never changed.
	Other parties to the talk struck notes of caution.
	The French Foreign Minister, Laurent Fabiez, insisted a final agreement must ensure there is no Iranian bomb.
	If this agreement is not entirely solid, that would mean that Iran could get a bomb, and this is unacceptable.
	And if this agreement is not perceived as solid, that means that the countries of the region, such as Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Turkey, and others, could also start thinking of making a bomb.
	Hey, hey, wait a minute!
	I'm shocked, shocked to find out that rebelization's going on here.
	And that would mean a nuclear proliferation.
	Dangerous for all.
	There is no specific schedule on resumption of talks, which have a deadline of June 30th.
	And to the analysis of Shields and Brooks, that's syndicated.
	Mark Shields and New York Times columnist David Brooks.
	David, let me start with you.
	If the hardliners...
	Hold on a second.
	Stop it.
	Now, this is the end, by the way.
	This is Brooks, you know, the New York Times guy.
	And he has a very funny, at the very, very end of the clip, he makes a snide remark that I just think, I just thought was, made my head kind of, what?
	David, let me start with you.
	If the hardliners, or some hardliners in Iran are opposed to this, and if Benjamin Netanyahu is opposed to this, did the U.S. successfully, or U.S. and the coalition, thread the needle and try to get the negotiation that they wanted to?
	Well, I don't think so.
	I must be with the hardliners over here.
	So, you know, I'm skeptical of the deal.
	I mean, parts of it are impressive.
	The inspection regime is pretty good.
	And so people who really know what they're saying for 10 years will at least have access to lots of different parts of the Iranian weapons system.
	Maybe not some of the Republican Guard forts and areas like that, but it's a pretty good regime.
	My problem with it are twofold.
	First, the whole goal of this thing was to get rid of the Iranian nuclear program.
	That's what the president said.
	We're a long way from that.
	Second, in 10 years, lots of bad things can happen.
	They can really move quickly.
	Third, it's a big bet on the nature of the Iranian regime.
	Is it a regime that wants to join the community of nations?
	If it's that, then it's a home run.
	Barack Obama will go down in history and he'll earn the Nobel Prize.
	He got it whenever he got it.
	He said he'll earn the prize he already got?
	Is that what he said?
	He says he'll earn the prize he got whenever he got it.
	No, Kerry's going to get it.
	He can't get it.
	No, no, he's not going to get it.
	He already has it.
	He's going to earn it finally.
	Oh, but I think you can win the prize twice.
	No.
	Yes.
	No one's ever won the Nobel Peace Prize twice.
	Hitler, maybe.
	You know, you're probably right.
	Sad.
	No, they gotta come up with new people.
	We're gonna give it to so-and-so.
	We just gave it to him.
	Let's give it to him again.
	We've gotta find more people.
	It's embarrassing if you give it to the same guy.
	It is.
	Anyway, one other clip I have, which is kind of interesting, because the guy runs down, this guy's the ex-ambassador to Germany, Iranian ambassador to Germany.
	And he runs, and he's on Democracy Now, so you can kind of see where this is going to head.
	And he runs down a litany of what the Americans think of the Iranians and what they think of America in the streets or in the Uber cabs.
	It's the same thing you'd be hearing if you had done your job.
	Uber!
	And gotten in the Uber cab.
	I got in the Uber.
	There was no foreigner in there.
	It's just a pattern.
	Yeah, okay.
	Pay no attention to it.
	But play this.
	This is complaints from the Iranian, and the DN means democracy now.
	I'm coding my clips.
	Yeah, very good.
	I want to ask you about a piece that Peter Baker, a New York Times reporter, recently wrote.
	He wrote, quote, Could you respond to this?
	It's funny if you just said no.
	Much better.
	No, not really.
	This is how some Americans, they read Iran.
	But you should know there is the same reading of some Iranians about the U.S. Here we go.
	They believe the U.S. is the source of instability in the Middle East.
	Get him off the air now!
	The U.S. has supported all dictators in last 60 years.
	No!
	Shah of Iran was a corrupted dictator, supported by the U.S. Mubarak in Egypt was a corrupted dictator, supported by the U.S. Turkey in Tunisia was a corrupted dictator, supported by U.S., and they have a lot of evidences.
	Even today, many U.S. allies are corrupted and dictators, and there is no human right, no democracy, but they have full support of United States of America.
	They believe that the U.S. invaded Iraq and made Iraq destabilized.
	They believe the U.S. invaded Afghanistan, led to expand of terrorism, al-Qaeda, Jabhat al-Nusra, ISIS. They believe Saddam Hussein used chemical weapons against Iran, killed 100,000 Iranians, and the U.S. provided material and technology for Saddam Hussein to use weapons of mass destruction against Iranians.
	I mean, these are mutual grievances.
	But we need to change the course.
	Mistrust is there.
	Every side has its own reading, story, and history.
	Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to Rubble Eyes!
	Hell yeah!
	Iran's helping us rebelize.
	That's the way I see it.
	Well, it's working.
	They're doing Yemen.
	They're doing Hezbollah.
	There's lots of stuff.
	And if we control Iran, you control the Middle East.
	You know what Stevie Wonder said last night?
	Do you want to hear the genius Stevie Wonder?
	If I could talk to all the leaders of the world, you know what I would say?
	Cut the bullshit.
	Cut old Stevie.
	Straight to the point.
	Well, that's a good yes.
	I didn't know your mic was so sensitive to off-axis.
	I want to mention that Isaac Piggott has delivered an entire buffoon for like five or six of these.
	I'm shocked, shocked to find out that rebelization's going on here.
	I think he did a pretty good job on that.
	I like it.
	I like it.
	I have a couple.
	I'll surprise you with them.
	You surprise me?
	Oh, you're going to surprise me with them?
	Yes.
	I thought you said you'd be surprised that I liked them.
	No, no, no.
	I know what you like.
	I know what you like, Johnny.
	Okay, let's play one more clip.
	This has got nothing to do with the main thing.
	It's just something else I just want to make as an observation.
	Play it.
	Iran and oil prices.
	On Wall Street, the Iran nuclear deal set oil down a dollar to $49 a barrel.
	And stocks made up a little ground.
	The Dow Jones Industrial Average gained 65 points to close at 17,760.
	I presume if the sanctions...
	Sorry?
	And the follow-up clip to that.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	What is the...
	Play food prices.
	Okie dokie.
	Food prices around the world have reached their lowest point in almost five years.
	The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization reported the news today.
	It's due in part to rising production and the falling cost of crude oil.
	Does Gwen Ifill do her own grocery shopping?
	It doesn't sound like it.
	What's happened, which no one's put two and two together apparently, the falling price of oil lowers the cost of distribution because we don't do anything locally.
	We talk a big game.
	Oh, local, buy local.
	Most people can't buy local because you can't grow tomatoes in Minnesota.
	Well, sure you can.
	They taste like crap, by the way.
	But the good tomatoes have to be grown in some hot area.
	What can you grow in Minnesota?
	Oh, I know.
	Homegrown terrorists.
	We have that in Minnesota.
	Yeah, I should have had that one.
	Yeah, I know.
	Sorry.
	I'm awake.
	It was almost a softball, but unfortunately...
	You took too long.
	I was flat-footed.
	Whatever the case, there's a connection between the Iranian...
	Because it is helping lower the price of oil.
	Well, once that oil starts flowing, it'll go even lower.
	Yeah.
	And we could end up with low food prices and everyone's going to be happy, except the elites.
	And the EU. I don't think they're going to be very happy.
	Well, as far as I can tell, nothing could ever make them happy.
	Yeah.
	But were you through with Iran?
	I'm done.
	Yeah, I think so.
	I just wanted to do the end point, which is food's going to be cheaper.
	Well, we'll see if it translates all the way through to the supermarket and how long that will take.
	I'm not seeing it.
	Now that I have to do all my own grocery shopping.
	I'm not seeing it.
	You should be going grocery shopping.
	You go to the store, you see what's fresh, what looks good.
	You buy some meat, you go through the meat, you go, what do I want to eat?
	And then you grab it.
	It's like hunting.
	It's actually the ultimate hunter-gatherer combo.
	You're hunting for meat, but you're actually just gathering it up.
	Yeah.
	It really works for the human resource.
	Yeah.
	And with that, I would like to thank you for your courage and say, in the morning to you, John C, where the C stands for cleaning products of merit.
	Dvorak.
	Oh, that's a good one.
	Well, in the morning to you, Adam Curry, and also in the morning to all ships at sea, boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, and all the dames and all the knights out there.
	In the morning to all the Minnesotans listening, and chatroom, noagendastream.com, in the morning to you.
	Good to see you all here.
	Actually, I think we have a pretty reasonably low number, I guess, today.
	I don't know.
	People are celebrating something.
	Your birthday, obviously.
	No, they're looking for eggs.
	Yeah.
	It's an Easter egg hunt day.
	We have two special donation amounts.
	One, of course, is still the Fletcher Fest, and I have a number of Fletcher shouts to share with you.
	That's the 31415.
	And, of course, the special 45.15 for the John C. Dvorak birthday Easter combo platter.
	Well, you can also go, since it is my birthday, go to, I think I have a clip that says happy birthday, hit it.
	Right.
	Happy birthday!
	Douchebag!
	I'm sorry.
	I don't know where that came from.
	Hey, are you going behind my back with Fletcher Cliffs?
	Is that what you're doing here?
	Got a couple lined up.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Let's thank a few people who are the executive and associate executive producers for show 710, which is something I forgot.
	I didn't put that in the newsletter because I didn't write a newsletter.
	You wrote a newsletter that said, no newsletter.
	No newsletter for you.
	But the 7-10 split in bowling...
	I used to be a bowler.
	7-10 split is the most formidable split that you can get when you're bowling.
	Except that the big four is kind of like it.
	But the big four...
	The 7-10 split...
	Hold on.
	The 7-10...
	Wait, wait, John.
	Hold on one second.
	You can't just gloss over this.
	You used to be a bowler?
	Yeah.
	Professional?
	Yeah.
	No, I know.
	For money?
	I'd bowl with people who became professionals.
	I was at the University of California bowling team, NCAA. You never cease to amaze me, John C. Oh, please.
	And now, you know, from chemical engineer to bowler.
	Oh, huge span of interests.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, so the 7-10 split, which I've never picked up, it can only be picked up as just lucky.
	So you have to hit, what is the arrangement?
	The two pins on the far corners and there's a big hole in the middle.
	And there's no way of sliding a pin over.
	It's impossible.
	The dude could do it.
	Two ways you can pick it up.
	One, if you come toward one of the pins, usually if you're hooking to the right, you'd go to the 7 side, and you'd slam the pin as hard as you could against the wall.
	So it bounces back.
	And if you're lucky, it would come back onto the lane, spin around, and knock over the 10.
	It's rare.
	It does happen.
	The other way, which is the way I think you could probably cheat to do this, You slam into the 7 or the 10 straight head on as hard as you can so it goes into the back and the ball hits it again back there and makes it bounce back out onto the lane and accidentally knocks over the other pin.
	Nice.
	I've never done it.
	And I just, the best way to deal with it.
	And this relates to our executive producers.
	How?
	Today is seven, show seven, ten.
	Got it.
	If you were listening earlier.
	I heard it.
	Okay.
	And I didn't get to say anything about it.
	It's a formidable show number.
	Indeed.
	Maurice Tate almost hit the 710, but he hit 719.30, which is a 314.15 plus 405.
	I don't know why.
	Why do 405?
	That's interesting.
	Oh, 4515, which is my birthday.
	Ah, okay.
	And Easter.
	I think this pushes me into knighthood.
	Yeah, I think so.
	He wants to be Sir Festivus.
	Or Festus.
	He doesn't want to be Festivus.
	Festus of Alva.
	Festus of Alva.
	You got it.
	I'm looking forward to the ceremony later on in the show.
	James Webster came in with $500 from Bayfield, Wisconsin, home of the Badgers.
	My daughter, a no-agenda contributor for years, has been on my tail to donate for an embarrassingly long time.
	I love the show.
	And the pressure of being a long-time boner and sharing an Easter Sunday, April 5th birthday with John C. was too much to bear.
	Nice.
	Do we have him on the list?
	I'll check.
	James Webster.
	Because he doesn't ask for a shout-out or anything.
	Eric's usually pretty good about that.
	No, he's not on the list.
	James Webster?
	Yeah.
	The great has finally lifted.
	Also, a little karma for said daughter who is recovering from a recent neck surgery would be appreciated.
	Keep up the good work that no one else seems to have the smarts or courage to do.
	You've got karma.
	Now, before you play the jingle, I want to say we have a moment of random number theory at play.
	We have, well, we have two Dukes who came in on the spreadsheet, one right after the...
	Yeah, I'm sorry, I was somewhere else.
	Okay, we'll return.
	710 refers to the show number.
	Yes, I understand.
	I understand.
	I'm in trouble here.
	Hold on.
	I'm in trouble.
	I'm in trouble, John.
	A little too much Stevie Wonder.
	No, I can't get the fucking clip that can come out.
	Stupid idiot shit, Max.
	Jesus Christ.
	Ah!
	Well, maybe Steve's job is...
	Oh, it's too bad.
	Oh, and then it opens a PDF. What the heck is going on?
	Oh, man.
	I don't want to sit opening a PDF instead of a clip.
	And in the red corner, wearing the black trunks with gold trims.
	He has a record of 33 wins, zero losses, and one draw.
	He is the grand use of Belgium and France, Sir Steven Von Hellbacher!
	There we go.
	To Stephen Pelzmacher in Belgium, 45520.
	Happy Easter to you both, but especially happy birthday to John C. Podcaster extraordinaire.
	May it be a day of joy for you both.
	455.2 because April 5th, 52 was a momentous occasion.
	Thank you for all your great work and keep the BPITU on the road for as long as you can.
	It sounds like a car.
	A young kid boom shakalaka karma for all the dames and knights and for John and Adam in particular, if you please.
	Go Von Pelsmachers.
	GD, I think it's a grand duke.
	Oh, GD. Boom shakalaka.
	Boom shakalaka.
	You've got karma.
	Thank you.
	And then...
	What do you say?
	Yeah, he's the Grand Duke of the United States of America.
	F yeah.
	Oh!
	So David Foley's in with the Duke.
	They're both Dukes.
	They're the only Grand Dukes we've gotten.
	They came in, coincidentally, bang bang.
	34567, one of my favorite donations.
	In close, please find a sequential number donation in order of John's birthday.
	Adam, please send a dose of No Agenda Karma to John to help him celebrate.
	Here we go.
	You've got karma.
	Ah.
	Now we have some 31415 donations for John Fletcher.
	And we talked about ending this allowance.
	We're thinking April 15th or May 1st, May Day maybe.
	We'll decide on the next show.
	Anyway, get it while you can.
	Jeremy King in Gilmer, Texas, 31415.
	And he wants a get-to-work donation.
	John Fletcher will know who I will use this on.
	Okay, so we got a little something going on there.
	For those of you who are new, the Fletcher shouts, and I might as well just do the ones from the previous episode, and these will all be released.
	Everyone can use their ringtones, and if you happen to have the same name, you get lucky.
	Fugazato!
	You probably won't have Fugazato as a name, so that may not be appropriate for you.
	But here was another request.
	I can't remember who requested that.
	Or...
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	That one didn't work.
	He put in a special one today.
	Jesus Christ!
	Buddha!
	And while we're at it, we might as well get my request in there.
	Mohammed!
	Alright, so we go to the point of sacrilegious on the No Agenda show.
	7-10, named after the bowling split.
	Which makes sense if you think about it.
	Alright, onward.
	Matthew McNulty in Chicago, Illinois, 3-14-15.
	ITM, John and Adam, and happy birthday, John.
	It's a bonus time again, and what better way to spend time than some of that loot on making a donation to the best podcast in the universe.
	I'd like to take advantage of your Fletcher Pie offer by requesting a shout-out to McVader.
	It's my stage name, and I'm trying to get the band back together.
	So I get some band karma and general karma for all the producers out there.
	Thanks for all you do, Matt.
	Yeah, and I'm actually just restarting the jingle machine because it seems like we had a little lag or something going wrong there.
	Here we go.
	You've got karma.
	There you go.
	And then we have L.B. Fudge Fountain.
	Sir L.B. Fudge Fountain in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
	Just a fun guy.
	31450.
	Guilty of heel-dragging and securing a Fletcher fudge fountain.
	Shout-out.
	You see, one of the hosts of the Reflective Air podcast did such a shout-out for me at the beginning of one of their recent shows.
	I didn't want to come off as...
	Wait, are people not copying our Fletcher stuff?
	Who knows?
	I don't want to come out as churlish, retroactively looking a gift horse in the mouth.
	Then I figured, hey, this is Fletcher we're talking about.
	The guy's a legend.
	Hell yeah.
	So I resolved to diversify by assigning Fletcher to SMS alert and not Morgan to ringtone.
	Bischief managed.
	I think it would be fun to hear the delightful kill them and bomb them again, the Colonel bogey march and a karma chaser deal.
	Less notes, more show.
	Bomb them.
	We need to kill and bomb them.
	Bomb them.
	We need to kill and bomb them.
	Bomb them.
	We need to bomb them.
	We need to kill them and bomb them again.
	You've got karma.
	Intercon.net.inc from Manhattan, Kansas comes in with $245.15.
	I knew it was time for another producer donation after being sidelined all week with back pain.
	Painkillers?
	No.
	Steroids?
	No.
	Please give me some of that Dr.
	No agenda feel-good karma, please.
	Since my last producership, my business has had the best year since 2008.
	Coincidence?
	I think not.
	I think not.
	I'm not chancing that either.
	So here's another pittance towards my eventual knighthood.
	The extra 4515 is for JCD's birthday.
	His sage advice is worth a tip at the very least.
	God bless you both and thanks for your experiment in media deconstruction.
	request 18 plus karma plus lgy there's a need for a rescue mission when the world is threatened the world needs help it calls on america and that's the story Yay!
	You've got karma.
	Actually, that's cute.
	It is.
	Eric Mainz, or Manz, Mainz, Manz, tomato.
	Minneapolis, Minnesota Nuts, 22765.
	He'll be our last associate executive producer for a show, 710.
	Hopefully this makes it in time for the Sunday show.
	I've never done this before, so I'm not sure how it works.
	I opened the No Agenda newsletter a couple weeks ago and was amazed to see that John's birthday is on Easter.
	I was even more excited to see the newsletter mention the fact that Easter hasn't fallen on his birthday.
	April 5th says 1953.
	My dad's birthday was also on April.
	This is a sad note, by the way.
	It was also April 5th, and in fact, April 5th, 1953.
	It was the day my dad was born.
	I've been hearing for years now that he was looking forward to Easter falling on his birthday again.
	It was a sign, sadly.
	Aww.
	He was an incredible man, and we miss him very much.
	Celebrating my dad's birthday, I wanted to give you guys something I care about.
	I chose a no-agenda show.
	My donation amount of 22765 is my dad's birthday.
	4553 multiplied by 5 to put me over the amount for an associate executive producership.
	I'd love to hear a birthday shout-out from my dad, Paul.
	I think my mom would get a kick out of it, too.
	If you haven't asked for too much already, I'd love to hear that 8-bit-ish Electronic version of Let's Get Social, which I heard on Thursday's show, followed by an LGY. Keep up the great work and have a happy Easter, John.
	And we'll throw in some karma for you as well.
	Sorry for the loss there.
	Yay!
	Hey!
	BEEP You've got karma.
	Oh, man.
	Okay.
	All right, that concludes our associate executive producers and executive producers for show 710.
	And I want to remind people we do have a show on Thursday, which will be less celebratory, but still important.
	And I want to send some karma out to Void Zero.
	It's kind of fun.
	So we installed some kind of encrypted app thingy, which is either Signal or Telegram, whatever it is.
	If he's using it, then I'm sure it's secure.
	And he has been messaging me from his hospital bed, where they opened him up, and they took out mucus from his lung.
	He sent me a picture, which I wish I could post it.
	It's hilarious.
	He's got two suction tubes, and it's just...
	But he's on morphine, so he starts texting me, and he goes, Hey...
	Crazy.
	But I said, I got an idea.
	Because he couldn't sleep.
	He had pain and everything.
	I said, here's what I do if I can't sleep.
	Close your eyes.
	Imagine a command line.
	And then you just start creating piped commands and see what the result is on your virtual terminal.
	And it got him through the night.
	Hopefully today the tubes come out and he can resume his important duties as knight of the 7-inch rack.
	Is it 7 or 12?
	Tell us about the Telegram product.
	Well, so there's two products.
	The Telegram product is open source, and there's no account needed.
	An identifier is a phone number, which, of course, you could spoof the phone number.
	You don't have to put in your actual real phone number.
	No, you do because you get a text message or something.
	I'm not sure.
	Yes, you do.
	You do.
	But it is, so there's, it's open source, so you can see what's happening, but it is apparently completely encrypted end-to-end, and you and I are even using it now for some things.
	Yes, we, well, I can use it all the time.
	It seems that, like, it works just as well as anything, and there's already, like, two separate systems on the Android thing.
	There's one that works with the phone number, and there's another one, and I like this better.
	It works straightforward.
	It also receives the...
	Does fine with, you know, the way you input the data with the microphone.
	And it does...
	I think you can...
	Can you call people this as well?
	I don't know.
	No, maybe not.
	But you can send pictures and stuff.
	It works.
	It works quite well.
	Yeah, it's peer-to-peer so it doesn't have a middleman.
	Right.
	It's a good product.
	We can talk more about that in tech news if you want, if the tech grouch is willing to join us today.
	I don't know.
	Me neither.
	Thank you very much to our executive and associate executive producers for your support for this program.
	Episode 710.
	Now propagate the formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	World Order.
	Shut up, slay.
	Shut up, Slade!
	This thing is still...
	I think it's time for a new jingle system.
	Do you hear it cutting out when I hit a new one?
	It's kind of strange.
	No, a couple of times maybe.
	I've been using this product, which is the...
	What is it called?
	It's called the SoundBite product from Black Cat Systems.
	We've been using this since show one, I think.
	Of course, it's upgraded throughout the years, but maybe time to look at some other products.
	Got an email, John, about off OPEC oil, which we discovered as a term in Nigeria with the defeat of Good Luck Jonathan as the president there.
	And, of course, we've been following this stolen oil situation.
	It was, you know, 15 or 20 billion had gone missing, and we sent over our military attache, which included accountants.
	This is how cool our network is, our No Agenda Intelligence Network.
	This is Axe Grinder.
	A code name, obviously.
	Good day, Mr.
	Adam.
	I will try and explain what off OPEC means.
	My bio first.
	I am an oil and gas engineer.
	Been in Nigeria since 1981.
	I have worked on flow stations, the construction of flow stations, and gas plants.
	John, how cool is our intelligence network?
	It's very cool.
	Yeah.
	I know for a fact...
	But we do have to realize that once in a while a ringer comes in and messes with us.
	But we eventually find him and throw him out.
	I know for a fact we as Nigeria...
	I don't know.
	In a day, we could produce 2 million barrels.
	Only 1.5 million is documented.
	The remaining is sold off to anyone willing to pay for it.
	Off OPEC is just another name for oil bunkering.
	All this bunkering is carried out by appointed militants and protected by the Nigerian Navy Armed Forces.
	So the president definitely gets a cut.
	Only in this country will the head of the militias, he says militants, sorry, be given the contract to supply the naval warships.
	Oh, there you go.
	So they supply the naval warships, and the same navy is fighting these militants in the delta of the country.
	You can Google the name Tom Polo.
	He's the head of the militants.
	So the militants are protecting the flow of off-OPEC oil to the navy, and they actually sell it to the navy is what I think I'm understanding.
	That's what it sounds like.
	What a country.
	The central bank governor a while back announced to Nigeria that $20 billion was missing and not remitted by the NNPC. This is what we talked about, the Nigerian Petroleum Cooperation.
	They covered it up and declared only $1.5 billion was missing.
	Our finance minister said, nothing to see here.
	She, of course, was formerly working at the World Bank.
	There it is.
	Off OPEC oil, 500,000 barrels a day.
	Being disappeared.
	Yeah.
	That's pretty outrageous.
	That's ridiculous.
	Well, so there's no account.
	Do we think we do...
	Are we now an OPEC country?
	I don't think so.
	Why not?
	Are we producers?
	Well, producers...
	I think it's really...
	No.
	It's only a Middle Eastern thing, isn't it?
	No, no.
	Venezuela's an OPEC country, I believe.
	Let's take a look at the book of knowledge.
	OPEC wiki.
	Okay.
	All right, here we go.
	It's an original permanent international organization headquartered in Vienna, established in Baghdad September 10th in 1960.
	Mandate to coordinate and unify the petroleum policies of its members and to ensure the stabilization of oil markets.
	Okay, which is kind of what it is.
	Let's see if there's a list of the members.
	Algeria.
	Algeria, Angola, Ecuador, Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Libya, Nigeria, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, and Venezuela.
	Okay, that's the group.
	Yeah, I think we're pretty much messing with all of those people, aren't we?
	Well, let's see.
	Algeria, not so much.
	We let the French do that.
	Angola, I'm not so sure.
	Ecuador, for sure.
	Iran and Iraq, obviously.
	Kuwait, no, not too much there in our pocket.
	Well, we did go up there and stand at the border.
	Libya, yes.
	Nigeria, yes.
	Qatar, well...
	UAE, not so much.
	Venezuela, totally.
	Absolutely.
	And if you look at the list, look at the population.
	It's the area.
	They don't say production.
	There's the production list.
	What's the big ones?
	The big one, the monster, is Saudi Arabia.
	Yeah.
	And who's number two?
	I think Iran would have to be number two.
	No, no, no.
	Yeah, you're right.
	I don't know who's number one.
	No, Russia's number one.
	They're not in.
	No, but we're talking about the list on here.
	It starts at number two, because that's Saudi Arabia.
	Somebody's better than they are.
	And number three is also missing from the list.
	And that's another wiki page.
	And Iran is fourth.
	They produce a lot.
	People say, well, they've got all this oil.
	Why do they want to build...
	It's fishy that they want to build nuclear power plants.
	Well, you can't have any type of industry without nuclear power.
	There's a lot of reasons to have nukes.
	Well, there's a lot of reasons for that.
	But also, if oil is...
	Especially if it's floating around $75 to $100 and going to go to $200, they say, or even at $40, you want to...
	Pump the oil and sell it, because the overlooked aspect of this is nuke power is so cheap.
	It's perfect, and it doesn't give, you know, CO2. It's a great source of energy, and the Iranians have made a specialty of it.
	Yeah, and they haven't been indoctrinated by movies and...
	Yeah, by the bull crap that we have.
	Are we not dead yet?
	This is like a cocaine dealer wasting his own product on himself.
	You want to sell it.
	You want to sell the oil.
	You don't want to use the oil.
	Anyway.
	Since I just mentioned, I think it was on Thursday, and someone said, oh, if you don't get it, you know what you're talking about, they don't talk about it.
	I just wanted to remind people, just that Sir Gene sent this to me.
	Here are the topics we discussed on episode 709.
	And the contrary, this has been an interesting debate going on here and there on Twitter about us.
	It's mainly because we make fun of the seed guy, and the seed guy fans get all upset.
	Before you continue, I have a complaint myself.
	Because you mentioned the Reddit.
	We have a couple of Reddit pages.
	They're no good.
	That's way to go, John.
	It'll keep them busy.
	It's not like they're no good.
	I don't have the printout of this, but I could go back and forth.
	There's always an undertone that I don't like.
	But there's a snide undertone.
	There's guys like this guy.
	I won't mention who he is.
	He says, oh, and I can't believe some of the things these two guys...
	By the way, we do try to correct all our errors over time, but this was a classic.
	Classic, classic.
	Oh, these two guys, I don't believe that neither one of them caught this, but citric acid...
	They're talking about citric acid, but citric acid is vitamin C. Citric acid is citric acid.
	It used to be called sour salt.
	Vitamin C is ascorbic acid, boneheads.
	Oh, they had citric acid, and they didn't even know it was vitamin C when they were talking about it.
	We are so stupid!
	Those two guys are stupid.
	They don't know that citric acid is vitamin C. Uh...
	Yeah.
	I'm stunned that you didn't know that.
	So, the things we do know about are...
	Sorry, sorry.
	That's okay.
	Television and radio production, the mainstream.
	That's all we do.
	No, we know other things.
	That's why we can deconstruct things.
	I can tell you how to...
	Make a 7-10 split.
	Thank you.
	We are knowledgeable of professional bowling.
	I know how to use biz properly.
	Yeah, biz.
	So cleaning products.
	We also know...
	Cleaning products are good.
	Yes, we know how to fly.
	We know aviation.
	We've got aviation.
	Drive a car.
	Drive a car.
	You have many talents.
	You are a chemical engineer, a firefighter.
	I was a chemist, actually.
	Chemist.
	But you're also a chemical firefighter.
	Oh, I know how to do that.
	Just roll that hose out.
	It sprays you from behind.
	Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention something.
	I was thinking about it afterwards besides the lewd aspects that you imagine.
	When you come out with a hose, you actually have to have another guy holding the hose with you behind you because the hose is so powerful.
	It's like a reach around.
	That if it was just you holding it, you'd just be flying around.
	Yeah, I know the problem.
	Yeah, I know you do.
	Here are the sectors we discussed, which of course we're not experts in, but just to give you an idea, there's a lot of people like, all they do is play clips.
	Yeah, okay, fine.
	Our sectors discussed on episode 709 are chemical, commercial facilities, communications, critical manufacturing, defense industrial base, dams, emergency services, energy, financial services, food and agriculture, government facilities, healthcare and public health, information technology.
	Nuclear reactors, materials and waste, transportation systems, water and wastewater systems.
	Hello!
	We cover the gamut.
	And we throw in hookers and other things.
	We know what we're doing here.
	Now, if we're wrong, we're happy to be corrected.
	You know, there's a couple of things we're not wrong about necessarily, but we're always kind of surmising.
	We do a lot of that and we speculate in ways that the mainstream media can't do because of advertising.
	That's really the genius of our model.
	And of course, when you're unfiltered, sometimes you say something that's wrong.
	Or we're also, you are hearing us deconstruct and analyze in real time.
	In real time.
	Yeah, it's real time.
	And the chat room often helps out with that.
	You monitor them.
	Now, I saw something on CNN. It was so unbelievable that...
	Well, of course, it's not unbelievable because it's on CNN. But it was...
	Now, this is a news report so expertly done.
	And it falls into information we had previously.
	We knew that North Korea and Russia were going to have a powwow.
	This came direct from my Uncle Don.
	And what he said is he thought it might be held in Helsinki as common ground, but it appears that Kim Jong-un will be going to Moscow.
	And I've already sent a note to Don.
	I don't know if he's going.
	I think you recall he said maybe some people were interested, even the State Department was interested in asking if he would do.
	It was the first time during the entire Obama administration that they even care about him.
	I sent him a note.
	I said, I will carry your suitcase.
	I will do anything you want.
	Please.
	I would love, love to go along.
	I'm sure that's not going to happen.
	But this report...
	This is an outstanding example of how popular culture, and of course I'm referring to the movie, we've already forgotten, The Interview?
	Yeah, The Interview.
	So this is now fiction becoming reality, but probably not because it's bullcrap, but it is just hilarious.
	And of course...
	It's real!
	With tensions already high as the U.S. and South Korea conduct military drills, more saber-rattling towards the West.
	Today, North Korea test-firing four short-range missiles traveling 84 miles before plunging into the sea.
	A Pentagon official saying, quote, we urge North Korea to reframe from provocative actions that aggravate tensions and instead focus on fulfilling its international obligations and commitments.
	Meanwhile, the North Korean leader is setting his sights on his personal indulgence.
	Kim Jong-un is now reinstituting so-called pleasure squads.
	According to Cho-sun Il-bo, a pro-North Korean newspaper, a tradition enjoyed by his father and his grandfather, employing a group of young female companions hand-picked based on good looks and measurements to be at their disposal right by their side for personal entertainment, whether by synchronized employing a group of young female companions hand-picked based on good looks and measurements to be at King Jong-il died in December 2011.
	There is a mandatory period of mourning.
	This guy, by the way, is from the Committee for Human Rights in North Korea, which I want to talk about in a minute.
	Is he implying that Kim Jong-il died in the saddle?
	Yes.
	It's edited that way to imply that.
	And by the way, they show stock footage of almost like Esther Williams' era synchronized swimming.
	You know, the thing that bothers me, they show this B-roll.
	And my favorite is every time they talk about North Korea, they have these goose-stepping guys.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	A bunch of soldiers wandering around.
	And they show the Pleasure Squad, which is a grainy photo of Kim Jong-un with, I think, three or four...
	Sorry, homely-looking, I presume, North Korean women with helmets on and fatigues, combat fatigue.
	Not at all a pleasure squad.
	No, just not the right visual.
	But let's continue.
	Kim Jong-il died in December 2011.
	There is a mandatory period of mourning on So it is possible that the son refrained from these practices in observance of those compulsory three years of mourning.
	Now that he's out of that period, he may be in the process of resuscitating these joy brigades.
	Joy Brigades.
	Kim Jong-un will take his first trip outside the country as the leader.
	He's due to meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Russia, but his pleasure squad, Brianna, will not travel with him.
	Oh, what is the use of having a pleasure squad if they're not going to travel with you?
	What a crock.
	So this is a setup, because this is a guy who was interviewed and who apparently is helping to propagate this.
	It's from the Committee for Human Rights in North Korea, hotelmikekilo.org, hmk.org.
	I don't think we've ever seen this outfit.
	This one really scares me.
	Well, of course it's...
	Okay, yes, yes, there's some gambling going on there.
	It is a non-profit.
	H-R-N-K. Actually, forward to H-R-N-K. And so, of course, it's a non-profit.
	It's an NGO. Here's the thing that is frightening.
	First of all, what we always do is we go look at the board of directors.
	So we're going to go in and look at the board of directors.
	We have...
	Co-chair.
	So this guy was the chairman, I believe.
	I don't get anything from HRMK.org.
	HRN. Oh.
	November.
	Oh, like North Korea.
	Okay.
	Let's see.
	We have fellow of the Brookings Institution.
	We have form administrator of USAID. President Defense Forum Foundation.
	We have chief executor, Perth U.S. Asia Center.
	A couple of attorneys, the Century Foundation, U.S.-Asia Law Institute.
	Then we have the Advisory Council, which has got to be even better.
	We've got just a crap load of Parliament members from all over the world.
	And the thing that scares me about this is when I look at their Form 990, as I like to do, how much money do you think these guys raise for this little drinking club of theirs?
	It'll surprise you.
	I would guess because of the nature of these guys being high-end diplomats and members of parliament, it looks as if they would have a lot of contacts and be able to really draw in like millions of Here's what's so crazy.
	$207,675 for 2013.
	Wow, that's just enough to buy the booze.
	I think that's all it's used for.
	I think it's only for the booze.
	Yeah, because you can't have meetings.
	You can't fly people around with that kind of money.
	They don't have to fly first class.
	That's only like each first class flight, especially if it involves the Korean area.
	That's like three, four grand a pop.
	No one receives a dime.
	No one has a payroll.
	This is all...
	Garry Kasparov.
	Oh, no!
	And the Russian-hating Garry Kasparov.
	It's all in there, man.
	It's all in there.
	Wow, this group is fantastic.
	It's a great...
	They did have a great meeting.
	Yeah, well, and good drinks.
	Oh, yeah.
	Huh.
	Well, that's an odd, odd group.
	Mm-hmm.
	But anyway, for them to now say that he has a pleasure squad, please.
	Pleasure squad.
	What was the thing the other, he said, did you write that down?
	He said something else that was cool.
	cool.
	Joy Brigade.
	I don't know which one to choose, Pleasure Squad or Joy Brigade.
	Joy Brigade.
	I'm really confused now.
	I need one of those.
	And it also refers back to The Loved One, a very famous movie, I think, came out in the late 60s.
	And The Loved One, which people should watch again, is about a...
	I'm going to put that on my list.
	The Loved One?
	It's a beautiful movie.
	It's fantastic.
	It's about a guy who's going to...
	He runs an embalming mortuary or something, and it's just the sickest movie you've ever seen.
	Who's in this?
	Robert Morse?
	Yeah.
	Jonathan Winters.
	Roddy McDowell.
	Rod Steiger.
	Oh, cool.
	Jonathan Winters.
	Oh, good.
	Oh, this is a good recommendation.
	Yeah.
	Great film.
	I'm going to put that in right now.
	I got a copy from Agent Orange, our intelligence source in Afghanistan.
	A copy of Good Kill, the Ethan Hawke drone movie.
	Oh, yeah.
	I've heard of it.
	I never have not.
	I don't think it's out yet.
	Is it out?
	Oh, okay.
	Well, maybe that's why I haven't seen it.
	Well, this is what's so interesting.
	Let me see if it's supposed to come out or not.
	Or is it already out?
	Let me just check on the IMDb.
	Straight to tape.
	That would really kill a movie, especially since nobody uses tape anymore.
	I don't know if it's out or not.
	I got a million of them today.
	You're missing them all.
	Okay.
	Yeah, I know.
	I hear you, but what do you want me to do?
	Yeah, I know.
	In the morning.
	Sorry, whatever the case.
	That's for you.
	That's my first catch.
	Yes, but you've said whatever the case ten times already.
	Whatever the case.
	I get email.
	That's good.
	I like a retroactive.
	You throw a retroactive at me after I catch you.
	That's mature of you.
	Hey, I never said I was mature.
	Okay, I'm a little confused on the timing.
	One of the things that we track are cycles, and of course we have the infamous six-week cycle, which is the genesis of that is our knowledge from one of our intelligence network analysts and sources who said the FBI pretty much needs to have something happen every six weeks in order to keep the budgets going, etc., and to remain relevant.
	Now, were we supposed to have a six-week cycle on the 1st of April or on the 15th?
	I'm confused.
	15th.
	It seems like someone popped the cork early on these crazy chicks in New York.
	We've never reconfirmed fully the six-week cycle.
	We have to wait until past the 15th.
	I know what you're going to talk about.
	I do have two clips about the women, the crazy women in New York who were planning to kill us all.
	And we can start with, let's see, what do we have?
	New York terrorist ladies.
	This morning, two New York City women accused of plotting a terrorist attack are in federal custody.
	Court documents say they were influenced by ISIS and the Boston Marathon bombings.
	Investigators have been tracking Noelle Valences and Asia Siddiqui since 2013.
	Jerika Duncan is outside the home in Jamaica, Queens, where the two women once lived together.
	Jerika, good morning.
	Good morning.
	The women are U.S. citizens and until recently were former roommates at this house behind me.
	Now, according to those court records, the women spent months researching how to make bombs, discussing potential targets, and even stockpiled some dangerous materials.
	Valensis and Siddiqui appeared in federal court Thursday afternoon after an early morning raid of their home.
	According to law enforcement officials, the women expressed violent jihadist beliefs and a desire to execute a terrorist attack on American soil.
	According to court documents, Valensis told an undercover informant that she did not understand why people were traveling overseas to wage jihad when there were more opportunities of pleasing Allah here in the United States.
	The undercover informant says they expressed interest in pressure cooker bombs like the ones used in the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings.
	Valensis indicated her preferred targets were cops or the military rather than civilians.
	In December of last year, they considered attacking the funeral of one of the two NYPD officers who had been killed two weeks earlier in an ambush attack in Brooklyn.
	Valensis called it, quote, an attractive potential target.
	Siddiqui's attorney spoke after her court appearance.
	My client will enter a plea of not guilty even when there's an indictment, and she and I will address everything in the courtroom where it belongs.
	Yeah, so what we know is that this is one of those typical FBI... Sting.
	It was not even a sting.
	It's not a sting.
	It's a honeypot.
	It's worse than that.
	It's like bullcrap.
	It's a setup.
	It's a total, total setup.
	I have a backgrounder from the local New York media, which I thought was kind of funny.
	Go ahead.
	You want to play?
	Let's play the second part because there's actually a kicker in here, and I do want to talk a little bit about it.
	This is the second part of the same report.
	The imam of the mosque in Queens attended by both women said they are being falsely accused and described Valensis and her family as a positive force in the community.
	They've been here five years.
	I have not seen any signs of them being regularized, promoting radical Islam.
	None of that stuff.
	Court documents also claim both women had copies of the anarchist cookbook, which explains how to make explosives.
	And authorities became concerned when the women obtained several canisters of propane gas, but police say there was no imminent threat.
	No imminent threat.
	Propane gas, which can be bought everywhere, is usually used for barbecues.
	And for outdoor heaters.
	Yeah, outdoor heaters, barbecues.
	You can use it for all kinds of things.
	And you wouldn't make a pressure cooker bomb with propane gas.
	It's impossible.
	The propane gas is, I suppose, a big thing.
	It's just ludicrous.
	Let's put it this way.
	To put your...
	Pressure cooker and your propane tank in your backpack is just a little complicated.
	And they're heavy.
	Propane tanks are heavy.
	The earlier quote of, I don't understand.
	It would be like this.
	I'll be talking to you on the phone.
	Of course, the FBI is after us.
	And I would say the five, which is exactly the quote she said, more or less.
	But it has the same meaning.
	Hold on a second.
	Hold on a second.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hey!
	Hey!
	Hey, Leticia!
	Yeah, hey!
	Hey, I was watching the news.
	Yeah?
	I'm just stunned that all these idiot jihadists keep going over to the Middle East when there's so many targets here in the United States.
	If you're going to go, you know, do something for Allah, I don't see why they just don't pick up, you know, pick a local.
	It is beyond me.
	Wow, this is an interesting thought.
	What should I do?
	You know, it's just something I was thinking about.
	What should I do?
	I just don't get it.
	I don't understand why you go through all the trouble of going over to Syria or wherever it is when you could just blow up something out of the air.
	What do I need?
	What do I need?
	How do I do this?
	No, I'm not talking about blowing something.
	I'm talking about the theory.
	I don't want you to blow anything up.
	Are you sure?
	No, no.
	I'm good.
	Allow me to play my report, which I thought was very funny, where they talked to the It's local, just to give you an idea of how crazy this is.
	So the local reporter spoke with the imam and also tried to speak with one of the women's husbands.
	Yesterday, the two women were charged in Brooklyn federal court with conspiracy to use a weapon of mass destruction.
	A federal complaint alleging they were...
	Now, let's recall, a weapon of mass destruction can actually be an M-80 firecracker.
	Yes.
	By the legal description.
	In the same book that describes a U.S. person as a company.
	We're studying past attacks that they acquired for propane tanks and materials such as fertilizer and a pressure cooker.
	They allegedly reached out to Al-Qaeda and watched this.
	Miracle-Gro?
	Yeah, Miracle-Gro, pressure cooker for, I don't know, cooking?
	Video of ISIS beheadings.
	Oh, if you watch the video of the ISIS beheadings, that should be deemed illegal.
	Just fertilizer and a pressure cooker.
	They allegedly reached out to al-Qaeda and watched video of ISIS beheadings.
	My observation of the family for the last five years has been impeccable when it comes to character.
	What do you suppose the propane tanks?
	You go to picnics, right?
	And what do you have to cook the meat and everything?
	You have what?
	Yeah, to cook with.
	For a cookout.
	Thanks, right?
	I think this whole story is being blown out of proportion.
	Today, the husband of Miss Valensis was among those praying in the mosque.
	We tried repeatedly to ask him about the case after he left.
	Check this out.
	Check this out.
	She's a beautiful woman.
	Very kind.
	Can you tell us about these charges?
	Can you tell us anything about these charges?
	What can you tell us about your wife?
	Was your wife a caring person or was she a terrorist?
	This is about to be the best question I've ever heard.
	Wow!
	Was your wife a loving, caring person or a terrorist?
	Was she a terrorist, sir?
	Was she a terrorist?
	Is that a yes or a no?
	Both women pleaded not guilty in federal court in Brooklyn yesterday.
	I love it!
	Can you not be a loving, caring person and a terrorist?
	Are these mutually exclusive, these two?
	They are.
	According to the federal complaint, they allegedly told investigators that this was, quote, a war, and they were studying the chemistry behind bomb making so they could, quote, make history.
	If convicted, they could spend the rest of their lives behind bars.
	You could spend the rest of your life in jail before not doing anything.
	Just the intent.
	There was no intent, even.
	Well, just coincidental bullcrap.
	Even though they said there was no imminent threat.
	I mean, that was a normal...
	This is just...
	So here's where this...
	We have to read the terrorist factory.
	Yes.
	But now, this is what this led to.
	Oh, good.
	I haven't gotten that yet.
	This is what this led to.
	So what is mentioned is the anarchist cookbook.
	And I've read this, of course.
	I would also say I really enjoyed Abby Hoffman's Steal This Book, which also has some bomb-making instructions in there.
	Great book.
	I read that as a very young man.
	But Dianne Feinstein...
	In today's world, you've been thrown in the slammer.
	Yeah, yep.
	Dianne Feinstein came out with a statement.
	I have the full statement here.
	The arrest of two women in New York accused of plotting to carry out bombings reminds us that the threat of terrorism inside the United States endures.
	We must remain vigilant against these types of attacks and place a high priority on tracking and interdicting such plots.
	I am particularly struck that the alleged bombers made use of online bomb-making guides like the Anarchist Cookbook and Inspire magazine.
	These documents are not, in my view, protected by the First Amendment and should be removed from the internet.
	What?
	This woman should be tarred and feathered and dragged out of Congress.
	Oh, God.
	How can you say these documents are not protected by the First Amendment and, even funnier, should be removed from the Internet?
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, this is the old book banning thing.
	It goes on.
	How about burning?
	Forget banning.
	It's burning.
	I meant burning.
	I commend the FBI. It's virtual book burning.
	I commend the FBI and the New York City Police Department for their work in preventing this and other potential that didn't prevent any attack.
	And I'm pleased that Loretta Lynch, a very distinguished attorney, will be leading the prosecution.
	Now, Loretta Lynch.
	Oh.
	Who is Loretta Lynch here?
	I think you've got something to tell us.
	Well, actually, we're doing this in real time, I have to say.
	But this is the still unconfirmed attorney general nominee.
	You see.
	So I think this is going to...
	He cropped up in the conversation before it had something to do with Feinstein.
	And I can't remember what it is.
	Maybe I can get it.
	Let me see.
	So Feinstein's statement is used two-fold.
	One, to deem some written language as unlawful.
	Not protected by the First Amendment.
	Let's just review for a moment.
	Is there any type of writing that is not protected by the First Amendment?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Hello.
	As a constitutional lawyer, I thought you'd have a snappy answer.
	You're right, the theater's on fire.
	And if you put exclamation marks behind it, this, of course, is outrageous.
	I can't think of anything.
	Of course, it's outrageous what she's saying.
	Doesn't make sense.
	She's a senator, by the way.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	She's California.
	She should be removed from office.
	Barbara Boxer, who you call...
	Banging Barbara.
	Banging Barbara Boxer.
	And then Feinstein.
	And I do have my story, which I'm sure I haven't told for years, and you tell it again.
	When I was an inspector at the air pollution district, Feinstein and Box were both members of the hearing board.
	And they were, you know, one was the mayor and the other one was a local politician.
	They weren't senators at the time.
	And Feinstein was just an idiot.
	And so we had an example.
	I told this story.
	You've heard it before, but most people probably haven't.
	We used to have a file area, which is also where the dispatchers work, which a couple of women would be in there dispatching to people.
	We had radios.
	And the file room was also in there.
	And inspectors would come and engineers would commonly wander in and grab files and then take them and forget to bring them back.
	So the file system would suck because these guys wouldn't check them out.
	Nobody knows where they were.
	So it was just a mess.
	So, and the door was always, you know, the door was, they needed the door open because it was a dark room, so they had this door open, so they, so it was people wandering in and out all the time.
	So the women that worked there were sick of this because it was somewhat their responsibility, so they put a chain in front of the open door so you couldn't really get in.
	I mean, you have to unhook the chain, you make a lot of rack and they wonder what you were doing.
	Feinstein's roaming around for some unknown reason to just look around.
	I don't know what she was doing.
	She walks by and she sees the chain across the door with the two women inside and she makes a huge fuss.
	Oh, why are these women chained into this room so they can't move or get out?
	And she makes a big fuss and they have to take the chain out.
	So the end result was they had to close and lock the door to keep these inspectors from coming in and out.
	So now the girls were stuck inside with a locked door.
	And her head is gone.
	Thank you very much, Diane.
	That's the kind of idiot she was.
	She never bothered asking the women why the chain was there.
	She just assumed it was to lock them in because men are bad.
	I don't mind if she's an idiot.
	I do mind if a United States senator is trying to put things under a non-protective state under the First Amendment.
	That's wrong.
	No, she's an idiot.
	Okay.
	So while we were listening to that...
	That's my story of the day.
	It's a good story.
	I have a little update on the Boston bombing.
	So this case is ongoing.
	Of course, no cameras are allowed in the court.
	So we had those silly drawings, which reminds me of cases going back to the Wild West days.
	It's crazy we can't have that, but okay.
	This is no longer about guilty or innocent.
	This is about life sentence or death.
	The death penalty, that is what the Tsarnaev kid's lawyer is all about.
	She's not trying to get him exonerated at all.
	But what we've all been waiting for is the video, the video that shows the Tarnoff brother putting his backpack with said pressure cooker bomb, pressure cooker bomb into the trash can just before it blew up and then walking away.
	Even the Massachusetts governor said that was this.
	The whole case is built on this.
	We have this evidence, but it doesn't actually appear to exist.
	He never saw it and there's no video being presented at the trial.
	However, we're doing our best to indoctrinate everybody with this CNN headline new Boston bombing video released.
	Well, this must be it.
	The case against Jahar Sarnayev, the story you've heard, the evidence you've never seen before.
	I'm ready.
	This is it.
	This is it.
	It's got to be it.
	Sarnayev running from the blast site.
	Minutes later, shopping for milk at a Whole Foods grocery store in Cambridge.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Their timeline...
	First of all, he's running away, like everyone else around him was running away.
	And then minutes later, he's shopping in Cambridge.
	Minutes later, just minutes later.
	A nice plug for Whole Foods, by the way.
	Oh, yeah.
	You know what we have to say to that?
	I'm shocked, shocked to find out that native advertising's going on here.
	And the blood-stained message meant to explain it all.
	Ominous music.
	Marathon Monday.
	A surveillance camera near a bar catches Tamerlan and Jahar walking down Boylston Street.
	They're carrying backpacks with the pressure cooker bombs.
	By the way, I looked at this...
	This I actually couldn't get a freeze frame.
	That backpack is pretty flat to be containing a pressure cooker.
	If you really look at it, it just doesn't seem like it could be in there.
	It could be dehydrated.
	Yes, it's a miniature.
	So now, this is fantastic how this is constructed.
	So they show him on the phone, and they show his other brother on the phone, and now they're saying there's a phone call between the two.
	I don't think that has actually been corroborated or proven anywhere.
	But maybe they have cell phone record evidence.
	They're cutting it together like a drama piece now.
	If you're putting this package together, you would have said, according to cell phone records, you would throw those words in if you had that evidence.
	I agree.
	The first explosion.
	Inside Marathon Sports, shattered glass.
	This is the new video, essentially, I said essentially, that they're saying is new, which we've already seen, is inside that sporting goods store, which is the closed caption camera.
	Shell-shocked victims.
	Outside, video never seen before of the horror, the helplessness, and the heroes.
	Oh, that's what the new video is.
	is so they show some bleeding people the further down Boylston street in front of the forum restaurant there's confusion heads turn toward the finish line Jahar gives a backward glance and leaves his backpack behind now what she just said here you don't actually see it You just don't see him putting the backpack down.
	You don't see it.
	But this is, you know, man, it's like so coordinated.
	It's hard to believe that certainly CNN is coordinating with prosecutors, but it can't be any other way.
	I don't think they're coordinated.
	I think they just ask to...
	No, you don't have to be coordinated.
	You're already all in with the government, and so they tell you stuff and hope that you report it like a parrot, like a secretary, like a stenographer, and you just have to...
	But from a journalistic standpoint, John, when everyone's been waiting for this video, this video doesn't appear, and then we're going to go and make new video and say this is new video, which doesn't prove the thing that the video was supposed to prove in the first part?
	I mean, come on.
	Where's the New York Times on this?
	Where's the real journalist saying, hold on a second, this is out of order?
	It's not there.
	They're just making new dramatic pieces.
	It's just to get viewers to watch the show so they can show some advertisements.
	Mention Whole Foods.
	That's a good one.
	And that's that.
	This is not really trying to prove anything.
	Well, at least the easiest way to do it, you take what the press release says, you say, oh, look at this.
	At least they got the ad.
	We get some B-roll that matches this.
	Yeah, we got B-roll.
	Oh, there's a new video.
	Let's put that in.
	And let's advertise it as a new video.
	It's a new video.
	It's not a new video.
	It's a video.
	It's just a video.
	I saw the Monica Lewinsky TED Talk, which has now been released.
	What?
	Monica Lewinsky gave a TED or TEDx?
	No, TED. And she did 25 minutes.
	I mean, come on.
	Isn't it limited to 15?
	18 minutes.
	Is that the actual?
	I believe that is the number.
	I need to know for sure.
	Why, are you going to send a nasty note?
	No, I just want to know.
	Yes!
	Yes!
	You cut off people, they have to be 18 minutes and she gets to do 25?
	That's no good.
	That's way too long.
	Let's see.
	TED Talk time limits.
	I just want to see if there's an...
	What the actual...
	18 minutes.
	You're right.
	18 minutes.
	They should have...
	Maybe they changed the rules for her.
	For her.
	Now, I'm going to take her side for a bit on this.
	Now, we heard her at the 30 Under 30 Forbes thing, where she already said some of this, and she calls herself Patient Zero, which I think you'll hear in this clip.
	Is there any setup, any reason we're listening to this?
	Is there something you can tell us?
	I don't remember the Forbes thing.
	Well, this is kind of a reiteration, but this leads into cyberbullying, which is her platform and what she's going to be doing.
	Oh, right, right, right.
	But I want to say that I feel for her, and I thought her talk, although too long, was reasonably compelling.
	She's not a bad speaker.
	She needs help, for sure, but we could fix her, let's put it that way.
	Well, they're supposed to have coaches at TED that make people...
	That's why all these speeches sound the same.
	They have the same cadence.
	I hate these speeches, by the way.
	She's not very good at delivering punchlines.
	She had a couple of them, but I actually had to cut them out of the clip because it took too long and fell flat.
	But, yeah, I felt some empathy for her, which is what she wants.
	Also, she looks kind of hot, John.
	I'll tell you.
	Just to completely turn myself into a television producer, she looked good.
	She had the right outfit on with the flaring shirt.
	Because, you know, she must be 5'10 or 5'11".
	She has the pants that flare at the bottom.
	So fashion-wise, fantastic.
	The hair is good.
	She has big doe eyes.
	I can see what Bill Clinton saw, by the way.
	But here is...
	Actually, I didn't see everything that Bill Clinton saw.
	A click that reverberated around the world.
	This is a little dramatic, but it's the click that reverberated around the world and started this horrible cyberbullying.
	What that meant for me personally was that overnight I went from being a completely private figure to a publicly humiliated one worldwide.
	I was patient zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously.
	I don't think she can make that claim, but I understand why she's doing it.
	And it does give pause and some reason for thought.
	This rush to judgment enabled by technology led to mobs of virtual stone throwers.
	Granted, it was before social media, but people could still comment online, email stories, and of course, email cruel jokes.
	They're mean.
	News sources plastered photos of me all over to sell newspapers, banner ads online, and to keep people tuned to the TV. At least she's got that part right.
	I'm shocked.
	Shocked.
	But the attention and judgment that I received, not the story, but that I personally received, was unprecedented.
	I was branded as a tramp.
	Tart.
	Slut.
	Whore.
	Bimbo.
	And of course, that woman.
	I've been named everything except that woman.
	Every single thing, but not that woman.
	I was seen by many, but actually known by few.
	And I get it.
	It was easy to forget that that woman was dimensional, had a soul and was once unbroken.
	When this happened to me 17 years ago, there was no name for it.
	Now, we call it cyberbullying and online harassment.
	Yes, there it is.
	Cyberbullying and online harassment.
	This is part of a larger campaign, which I feel bad for her.
	It sucks.
	It sucked.
	He sucked.
	Whatever it is.
	Somebody sucked.
	Somebody sucked.
	Hey, I feel bad, but as a celebrity for most of my life, Especially in the Netherlands, where you are a front-page celebrity.
	I am branded a loser.
	Well, it's not great for you, but it's very funny because you're actually known, especially to our producers, known as a personality of sorts who gets mad about things and has got Therese as a normal guy for all practical purposes.
	Exactly.
	And it's like, you know, we know, Adam.
	But then this Netherlands crowd is like, wow.
	And they're fascinated by you to such an extreme.
	You go, my God, this sucks.
	This is terrible.
	Yeah.
	They say horrible, horrible things.
	Worse than being a loser.
	You are the butt.
	I'm branded as a podcaster.
	Could it get any worse than that?
	Which is another good one.
	It's just so low on the pole.
	And sometimes I think I actually am that woman, according to them.
	That woman.
	It can irk you, but I've learned throughout the years, whatever, it does go away, but people remember things.
	They make judgments.
	They make judgments.
	And it is, the commenters, particularly the Netherlands, and we discussed this on the previous show, it gives people a feeling of power.
	A feeling of power to say something about someone else who everybody knows.
	Yeah.
	They don't even know what vitamin C is.
	Let's listen to the cyberbullying wrap-up.
	So as far as our culture of humiliation goes, what we need is a cultural revolution.
	Public shaming as a blood sport has to stop.
	Never.
	And it's time for an intervention on the internet and in our culture.
	Good luck.
	The shift begins with something simple, but it's not easy.
	We need to return to a long-held value of compassion.
	Compassion and empathy.
	Really?
	Online, we've got a compassion deficit.
	An empathy crisis.
	Yes, but here's the thing.
	Tell this to the war machine.
	There's that.
	I'm sure that human beings, all human beings, are ultimately, you know, want to be like Stevie Wonder's love and everything, but most people are firmly grounded in this low vibrational dimension we live in, and they're a-holes.
	Everybody.
	Me too.
	Mark Pugner, you're just as guilty.
	Yeah.
	And we're so...
	So disappointed in ourselves that we project anything onto anybody and wow does that work well online.
	And of course it's funny.
	We like it.
	It has humor.
	It has humor.
	I'm reading the...
	This is like the comment, you know, why don't you buy a Mac?
	Yeah.
	You know, it's just like, okay.
	Or when I'm struggling and we're streaming live and something's not working and people say, jiggle the handle!
	It's funny.
	It's funny, but it doesn't make me feel very good at that moment.
	But that very moment, I'm really, really upset.
	That's a great line.
	The first ten times.
	Yeah, it's a great line.
	Yeah, I know people do these.
	They can't seem to come up with anything new.
	Jiggle the handle!
	I'm going to show myself all by donating to no agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on your agenda in the morning.
	Anonymous comes in.
	Top of the list.
	Anonymous.
	These are our regular donors.
	Over 50.
	Mononymous.
	$135.
	La Chow in Daily...
	La Chow.
	La Chow in Daly City, California.
	Comes in with a...
	What's this?
	La Chow?
	Yeah.
	Comes in with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
	And he sends a note in.
	It says, you guys can't tell whether I'm a guy or a gal.
	Well, it's hard to tell unless you send a picture.
	Male or female?
	Sadly, I'm a dude.
	Sadly.
	Sadly, I'm a dude.
	Of course, San Francisco Bay Area, this is the kind of thinking that goes on.
	He's that dude.
	Is that dude?
	Anyway, I want to thank him.
	Sadly, I'm a dude, the guy says.
	Okay.
	Josh Mandel in Greenville, South Carolina.
	11695.
	And he's going to become a knight today.
	And he's going to be Sir Josh of the Sawdust.
	And he has a 35th birthday.
	See if he's got a birthday on there.
	I think so.
	Yes, 35th on April 8th.
	Got it.
	Good for him.
	Charles Eves in Hawthorne Woods, $108.88.
	He says, Adam made a comment about John living until it was $108.
	Okay.
	My donation is the John C. Dvorak for 108 level.
	Okay, good.
	That works for me.
	The show will continue to then.
	Yeah.
	Chris Areola, who sent in a, I think, from Saw Tockett, New York, 1067.
	He's got a birthday.
	He had sent a check-in and just had his name.
	And I'm wondering whether this is Chris Areola, the boxer.
	I don't see Chris Areola on the list, which is irksome.
	Well, I don't remember him having a birthday either.
	But, okay.
	But it says birthday.
	Well, I don't...
	I don't know what that's really about.
	No.
	Oh, maybe.
	Here's his note.
	He wrote a note in.
	This came in, so it might not be on the list.
	It says, happy birthday to us.
	Oh, okay.
	So he's also born on 4 or 5.
	To the Easter Bunny and...
	Oh, this is not the boxer, because he was born in 1948.
	And how old is he?
	Well, he's born in 48.
	So he's 67?
	67.
	Scott Waldherr in Madison, Wisconsin, $100.
	James Wells in Flagstaff, Arizona, $100.
	Mark this down a little bit.
	Come on, go down, go down.
	Sir Jason Southwell in Pompano Beach, Florida, $100.
	Patricia of, I think it's Beast Bay.
	I couldn't read it, but she's in Miami, around Miami, 90-30.
	She did send a card.
	I want to thank her for the card.
	And it was a...
	A real card or a virtual card?
	No, a real card.
	Oh, nice.
	And it appears to be handmade.
	I think.
	Those are the best.
	Yeah, it's like a handmade card.
	Anyway, I want to thank her for that.
	Amanda Rosset in Vernon Rock, I believe Village, Connecticut, 8088.
	And she sent in a card.
	And this was a really nice card.
	I should scan this and put it in.
	And she did a drawing in it.
	It's very pleasant.
	I liked it.
	She took a regular card and then marked it up.
	Oh, nice.
	A little markup.
	It was very pretty.
	Sir John Donovan in San Jose, California, $87.30.
	Birthday coming up for him.
	Sir Nate Wilson in Charleston, South Carolina, $87.00.
	Ryan Quick in Oceanside, California, $77.33.
	John Haller in Missoula, Montana, $69.69.
	Jason Richman in Redford, Michigan, $66.66.
	Jose Abreu in Lisbon, Portugal, $66.
	Yes, Lisboa.
	Lisboa.
	I don't even know how you really pronounce that.
	Lisboa.
	Lisboa.
	He is Sir ZP of the Lusitania.
	So he's a sir.
	Let's get that straight.
	Thomas Bissell in Reno, Nevada, 6363.
	These are both 6363, so it was Obreos.
	Also, Gregory Worley, 6333 in Evington, Virginia.
	Chris...
	Grommel in Port Ewan, or Ewan, Ewan, I guess.
	5735, as we get wrapped down here a little bit further.
	Charles Brocchetti in South Korea, Incheon.
	5245, that's nice.
	Hey, hold on a second.
	If your Wikipedia page says you're 62, how can that be?
	No, because my birthday's today.
	It makes me 63.
	Yeah, but doesn't that automatically change when you go in there and change it?
	Oh, jeez.
	Okay.
	Leave it 62, folks.
	Yeah, I'll say that's fine.
	We got him.
	Charles Broschetti in Incheon, we got him.
	Richard Burgess in Edgewater, Florida, 51-54.
	And John Height in Folsom, California, 51-50.
	Sharon Adkins in Warren, Michigan, 50-50.
	Robert, and the rest of these are $50 donors.
	Robert Owens in Oak Hill, Virginia.
	Dustin Martin in Salem, Oregon.
	Salem, don't inhale them.
	Christopher Walker.
	I know.
	DePere, Wisconsin.
	Michael Januszewski in Chicago, Illinois.
	Is he not a knight?
	Adam Beck in Lost Wages, Nevada, $50.
	Ed Zolo in South Australia, some town.
	Sir Brett Farrell, Parts Unknown, Oklahoma.
	Terry Wentz in Langley, Washington, 50.
	And finally, Sir Alan Bean over here in Oakland, California.
	Incoming message from Andrew Horowitz, who is apparently too cheap to send you a card.
	He just messaged me and says, please tell John I said happy birthday.
	Cheap, cheap, cheap jack, cheapskate.
	He actually sent me something.
	He did send me something.
	He sent me a pair of CIA cufflinks.
	Ooh.
	Ooh.
	Well, there you have it.
	That's interesting.
	Yeah, that's what I thought.
	You should wear those.
	Yeah, with my French cuffs.
	I'll wear them on Leo's show.
	All right.
	How about the list of all the people?
	Oh, we have a list.
	Do you want to do that now?
	Or we can do it in a minute?
	Well, I mean, you promised you would do it.
	It's a long list.
	It's a list.
	Yeah, it is a little long.
	Okay, here it is.
	You promised you would do that.
	It's your birthday.
	I'm going to do it.
	It's your birthday.
	By the way, there's still some coming in and I will thank them on the next show.
	But these are the people I'm going to verbally thank for the 45-15 donations, including which are over the last few shows.
	If you don't get mentioned, send me a note and you'll get mentioned on the next show because there's still these things coming in.
	Jennifer Buchanan, Kenneth Learman Jr., Nicholas Principe, Matt Frazier, TinyEmpire.com, Rick Gibbs, Julian Swan.
	Thomas Nussbaum.
	Nussbaum!
	Christian Erickson.
	Amanda Guerra.
	Guerra.
	Guerra.
	The mail carrier.
	Yeah, you're...
	Oh, that's nice.
	Keep it going.
	Kalen Nistor.
	Benjamin Ritgers.
	Marcel Janota.
	Eric Blazinski.
	Wesley Clark.
	But not that Wesley Clark.
	I don't think.
	Keep it going.
	Keep it going.
	Clark Pruden, Marna, Marna, Marna.
	Arena.
	Duty.
	Well, maybe.
	And then I got one I can't read.
	Kevin Brousseau.
	Let me help you.
	No, no, what's the next one?
	It's like 19 is a bunch.
	Kevin Brousseau.
	I see Kevin Brousseau, Chris Durkin, Dane Coleman, Jan LeClerc, Richard Hyde, Tonya Wyman, Craig Allen, Sam Kelly, Richard Chow, Wayne Burgess, Null.
	Ha ha!
	No.
	Thank you, no.
	No.
	Thomas Grady, BrianBarrow.com, Keith Hausner, Brian Ferguson, Craig Martin, Nicholas Chomitsky, Jenkins Journal, Brad Daugherty, Lee Young, Peter Hughes,
	Yancey Summerur, Brian McFadden, Yancey Summerur, Brian McFadden, Kevin Grant, Eric Van Marder, James Palmer, Ian Chaffee, Dave Rederer, Stephen Schwartz, Shana Williams, Levi Wagner, Herbert Harms, Nicholas Stowe, Mike Bruno.
	This includes previous donations, obviously, as well from previous episodes.
	Richard Henderson, Lori Frick, hey!
	Hey, Lori!
	She loves you!
	Kirk Satoff, Michael Siegenthaler, Patrick Koble, James Mullen, Matthew Stevens, Robert Gutierrez, Benjamin Garcia, Les Smith, Doug Dodge, Tyler Sandberg, Brian Matthews, Jeffrey Wolf, W. Dorco, Robert Goschko, Cody Holbert, John Fletcher.
	Fletcher!
	Curtis Smith, Mark Heimerman, Eric Wells, Sherry Laurie, Mark Lopicola, John Torres, Mark Neiman, James Callahan, Andy Benz, Alassane Sen, Jennifer McCullough, Christopher Walker,
	Jason Daniels, Jean-Claude Schmidt, Heather Fucinari, Alejandro Vasquez, Michael Schultz, Gary Stern, Scott Rendon, Kevin McLaughlin, Gertz Automation, Philip Rodanakis, Jason Aubrey, Kendall Powers, Aaron Rush, Jason Aubrey, Kendall Powers, Aaron Rush, Alexander Mercuriev, Bert Beavs, Matthew Helly, Eric Braun, Claudia Gerber, Thomas Gruska, Ryan Stewart, Andy Kluge, Andrew Burr, Catherine Lee, John Akin, Scott
	Andy Kluge, Andrew Burr, Catherine Lee, John Akin, Scott Olson, Ralph Mossero, Patrick Sullivan, Martin Fellners, Thomas Stanley, Paul Starnes, Thomas Butterick, Brian Hastie, Ultimate Gaming Hardware, Eric Berg, Jason Dolan, Alexander Schaffer, Brian Kaufman, Ta-da!
	Yeah, I guess I...
	Yeah, there you go.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's been...
	People love you.
	It's clear.
	Well...
	Yeah, they love you.
	People love you.
	Well, I appreciate everybody who helped out on this little celebration.
	They also love Jesus, obviously, because it's for the Easter.
	It's a combo deal.
	It's a combo deal.
	Thank you all so much.
	They love bunnies.
	Also thank everybody else who is on their plans, doing the monthlies, whatever amount it is.
	Everything helps.
	We really appreciate it.
	Thank you so much for your courage.
	Dvorak.org slash N-A All right, here we go.
	Josh Mandel, 35 on April 8th.
	Chris Areola turned 67 today.
	James Webster celebrating.
	Eric Manx says happy birthday to his father, Paul, who would have been 62 today.
	Sir John Donovan says happy birthday to Fiona.
	She celebrated on April 2nd.
	Jack Genuso, his birthday today.
	Martin Fellner, a make-good, he celebrated yesterday.
	And, of course, the one and only John C. Dvorak celebrating his 63rd birthday today.
	Happy birthday from all your friends and the staff of management, the best podcast in the universe.
	It's your birthday, yeah.
	Woo!
	Two nightings today.
	Ah.
	Yep, yep.
	That's a good day for us to bring Josh Mandel and your sword.
	There we go.
	And Maurice Tate.
	Gentlemen, both of you are supportive of the best podcast in the university.
	A lot of $1,000 or more, we could not be more thankful and happy to introduce you and induct you into the...
	The table of the No Agenda Knights and Dames, and I hereby pronounce the KD, Sir Festivus of Alva and Sir Josh of the Sawdust.
	For you, my friends, I have hookers and blow, rent boys and chardonnays, sake and sushi, video games and vaporizers, malt of barley and hops, root beer and Legos, whiskey and wet wipes, hot pants and booze, bong hits and bourbon, or, of course, the ever-prescient mutton and mead.
	Rings are in.
	Go to noagendanation.com slash rings, and Eric will get on that right away.
	Wow!
	There's a lot of love there for you, man.
	Well, I appreciate it.
	Yeah, you should.
	I do.
	I said it.
	I know, you do.
	That's why you should.
	I do.
	I know you do.
	I said it.
	It's good.
	Okay, what, uh, a couple other things going on here.
	Oh, yes.
	I guess something's kind of interesting.
	Okay.
	You might not think it's interesting, but I do.
	It must be celebrity related.
	It's close, but here, I've never really gotten up early enough to watch the absolute beginning of the CBS morning show.
	Okay.
	So they have, like, they start with a...
	It's all you really have to watch is this first part.
	This is Charlie and Gail.
	And Gail.
	Oprah's girlfriend.
	Oprah's beard.
	No, not beard.
	Girlfriend, yes.
	I mean, Camping Buddy.
	Camping Buddy.
	So the show starts off...
	When you first start the show, they have a bunch of music and they play this, which is the CBS Morning Show.
	What time?
	Is it 6 o'clock?
	Something like that.
	I was up for some unknown reason.
	I said, let me see if there's any clips.
	So I got this.
	You get up and go, let me see if there's any clips.
	Why am I up?
	CBS Morning Show Opener 1.
	Good morning to our viewers in the West.
	It is Friday, April 3rd, 2015.
	Welcome to CBS This Morning.
	President Obama hammered by Israel in Congress after reaching a historic nuclear deal with Iran.
	Even Democrats say they need to know more.
	Lost at sea for 66 days, the sailor tells us how he survived.
	Only on CBS this morning.
	The Michigan man who sold his company then gave millions to his workers.
	But we begin this morning with a look at today's eye-opener.
	Your world in 90 seconds.
	Okay.
	All right, this is it.
	Now, this is the part that this is what I want to discuss.
	Okay.
	I know maybe I'm a stickler on some things.
	Oh, by the way, Cotton shows up in this too.
	Oh, good.
	A stickler.
	But this is your morning.
	It's called the weekly or the daily hot shot or some crap.
	It's 90 seconds.
	Your world in 90 seconds.
	Your world in 90 seconds, okay?
	So we're going to play it.
	You're going to hear...
	This summarizes everything going on that you need to know.
	You could actually turn the show off at this point, unless you want more details.
	90 seconds.
	Yes, exactly.
	Yeah, 90...
	Now, this is what they're telling you.
	90 seconds.
	You said it yourself.
	Do they have a little clock counting down the 90 seconds?
	No.
	You'll see that you can figure out the 90 seconds on your own computer by recording this.
	Hit it.
	It is a good deal.
	A deal that meets our core objectives.
	A framework nuclear deal struck with Iran.
	The terms in us are not as bad as I had feared.
	They're much worse.
	Before I'd say it's a bad deal, I'd say it's not really a deal yet.
	In New York City, two women allegedly trying to make a bomb like the one used at the Boston Marathon told the judge they are not guilty.
	The worst terror attack in Kenya in nearly two decades.
	Somalia-based group Al-Shabaab says it's behind the attack.
	Severe weather threat in the Midwest and South.
	Millions are bracing for thunderstorms, damaging winds, and possible tornadoes.
	The worst weather is right in Kentucky.
	Flash flooding is a big issue.
	A sailor has been rescued after being lost at sea for more than two months.
	You were out on the water for how long?
	I have been told 66 days.
	It seemed like a lot longer.
	President Obama is in Utah, the 49th state who has visited as president, the only state left on his list, South Dakota.
	Surveillance video.
	Bam!
	That car crashing right in.
	Bam!
	Police were chasing the driver who jumped out of the car.
	All that happened.
	Now it's into us.
	For the wind in the corner.
	No good!
	Stanford survives!
	And they win the NIT. A woman won a new car thanks to a model's mistake.
	I won it!
	Congratulations, man.
	We'll just give you a car.
	And all of that matters.
	Indiana changes its religious freedom law.
	For example, they're lifting the ban on live tweeting the Tonys.
	It's the most embarrassing thing to come out of Indiana since I came out of Indiana.
	It's on CBS This Morning.
	I've been dreaming for this moment for so long.
	Nicki Minaj posted a video of a crying boy who calmed down once he placed his head on her chest.
	It's rare that you get to witness the exact moment someone goes through puberty.
	This morning's eye-opener is presented by Toyota.
	Okay.
	Well, I can see why you're irked.
	That was 111 seconds.
	Yeah!
	Yeah, this is completely out of order.
	It's lies!
	It's lies!
	I'm shocked to find that celebrity worship is going on around us.
	Yes, it's lies in celebrity worship.
	Lies!
	90 seconds, my ass!
	You took 111 seconds to make that point.
	Well, now the only thing that was good, I have to admit, was the kid and Nicki Minaj.
	Did you see this?
	No, of course not.
	Okay, the kid is crying or something and she's with him.
	On her boobs?
	No, he's just crying and she gives him a hug and then pretty much puts his head right between her boobs.
	And then they show a close-up of this and the kid is like raising his eyebrows and winking and smiling.
	Yeah, baby!
	Yeah!
	Oh, great.
	It's quite funny.
	And now that you've broached the topic of what we consider real news...
	And now, back to real news.
	A great promotional campaign has been underway for a week now for the successor to the Jon Stewart Daily Show.
	I want to talk about this.
	Yeah, well, there was...
	There was just a funny segment with Don, anything with Don Lemon, because what is happening, if you don't know, I'm sure everyone has seen this at some point.
	This kid is from South Africa, Trevor Noah, and he's been making racial jokes about blacks and about Jews and about women.
	And of course, I think even, did he make any jokes about LGBTQIAAP? Well, I'm funny.
	You should bring it up.
	If anybody wants to...
	Look him up on YouTube.
	What's his name?
	Trevor Noah.
	He's extremely funny.
	His timing is absolutely top drawer.
	He's...
	Very observant.
	The one you want to find, the clip you want to find is, is it Zambia?
	It's Trevor Noah that talks about Zambia.
	I think it's Zambia, or what's the other one that starts with a Z? Zimbabwe?
	Zimbabwe, that's what it is.
	Trevor Noah talks about Zimbabwe.
	Zimbabwe, that is 10 points for Adam Curry in Austin, Texas.
	Very funny.
	And a large gay routine in it, which is also extremely funny.
	But I could see where someone would be offended by it.
	Let us listen to someone who's offended by it.
	I just thought this was interesting, the cultural Marxism.
	But of course, again, it's all promotion.
	It's complete 100% promotion.
	Congratulations.
	Slow clap for Comedy Central.
	Good job.
	This will keep going.
	And then there's Don Lemon, who is gay and black.
	Perfect guy to host this, of course.
	And he has on a...
	He has on...
	He had a...
	I think it might have been Octobox.
	I think he had eight people on.
	Oh, God.
	Yeah, Artie Lang.
	Octobox!
	Yeah, Artie Lang, Jay Thomas.
	Artie Lang is pretty funny.
	And Jay Thomas, he doesn't make me laugh, but he's been around a long time.
	He's professional.
	He says interesting things.
	But what is happening here, there's two segments.
	One is this woman, Wendy Todd, who has a fantastic title.
	Which I think Don Lemon introduces her.
	I want this title.
	And she is of course offended because how can you have a black man who is actually from Africa making jokes about African Americans?
	It's unheard of!
	This is not furthering the conversation in this country!
	And Wendy Todd, a culture and race blogger.
	There you go.
	When I grow up, John, I want to be a culture and race blogger.
	And Wendy Todd, a culture and race blogger who wrote a piece in the Washington Post about Trevor Noah.
	I'm going to get you some cards.
	Culture and race blogger.
	It's great.
	I love it.
	It's fantastic.
	And Wendy Todd, a culture and race blogger who wrote a piece in the Washington Post about Trevor Noah.
	And Artie Lang and John Hugelsang, join me.
	They're back with me.
	Hey, Wendy, this is what you say.
	You wrote this in the Washington Post.
	You said, Noah might look like an enlightened choice, but his routines show he isn't.
	His jokes often hinge on insulting African Americans.
	Well, you can keep him.
	I'd like a conscious person of color to the wheel, not someone who's already driven me off a racist cliff.
	A conscious person of color.
	What has this country become?
	It's horrible.
	And I want to say again that this guy is extremely funny and his stuff about Africa.
	He does voices.
	So he does every African country.
	Oh, great.
	The difference, little differences between a Ghana and a Nigerian and a South African and a Zimbabwean.
	It's a...
	Even though most people don't know any of this stuff, the guy is very funny.
	The bottom line is that this is a great promotional campaign.
	Really, really good.
	I'm going to say Wendy Todd is being paid.
	I'm just going to come out and say it.
	She's being paid to stir up the controversy.
	You don't need to pay people like that.
	How did this get in the Washington Post all of a sudden?
	She's a blogger and now she's published in the Washington Post.
	What is she?
	Is she an op-ed writer or a blogger or a culture and race blogger?
	Come on, John.
	She probably got paid for the op-ed, but I don't think she was paid to...
	Well, maybe.
	Who knows?
	You don't know that.
	It's happened.
	Why her?
	Have somebody decent...
	Well, she's furthering the conversation.
	At the wheel, I should probably say.
	You're worried that he'll continue to perpetuate negative stereotypes.
	Why?
	I just think that, first of all, you're coming to this country and you're making fun of their residents.
	I don't understand that.
	You're coming to this country making fun of their residents.
	Really?
	Is she black or white or what?
	She's black.
	And you're contributing to stereotypes that are perpetuating a construct that's already devaluing black people here.
	We're getting shot in the street because people do not feel that we're...
	Because of jokes.
	We're getting shot.
	We, I guess she means black people in America, are getting shot because of jokes.
	...value and to make jokes that contribute and perpetuate the ideal.
	She must be a thrill at a dinner party.
	I'm telling you, this is all part of the same Feinstein crap, John.
	There's going to be rules on what kind of jokes you can make on the internet.
	You can just wait for it.
	It's upsetting.
	It's irresponsible.
	It's upsetting.
	Why can't comedians of color have the same freedom as other comedians to practice their craft?
	They do!
	In fact, comedians of color, the so-called cocks, they have more license.
	They can make these jokes that white comedians, the woks...
	Can't touch.
	I mean, the cows.
	We have the cocks and the cows.
	And they cannot even go near that.
	They have an extra burden, you feel?
	Extra burden.
	They're comedians.
	Yeah.
	practicing their craft.
	I think it's also about intention is your intention to move a conversation forward.
	If you're exploring something as controversial as race, but if your intention is just to get a joke, then who pays for that?
	And I feel like African-Americans have paid enough not to have someone come here and make fun of us.
	Okay.
	I'm Has she ever been to one of these comedy jams with the black guys?
	Well, now we have...
	Holy crap!
	Now we have Jay Thomas.
	He is going to set her a little bit straight, but his message I found to be interesting.
	His message is...
	If you want entertainment, don't go to the internet.
	You've got to get it from your officially paid mainstream media sources, from television and from HBO. You can't get it from the internet.
	Bad, bad, bad.
	Twitter is like Botox with an expressive face.
	It just takes away all expression.
	And then the Twitter terrorists, who are these people that are just...
	Twitter terrorists.
	Basically shut-ins.
	And they get a chance to attack and bring people down.
	And they've been, you know, kind of successful in this.
	I really am proud of the...
	That was interesting, wasn't it?
	I think he's been taken down and he's mad about something.
	Doesn't he know how to block?
	I'm proud of the fact that Comedy Central has backed him up and that Jon Stewart is backing him up, too, because it would be wonderful to see someone not get fired for something on Twitter.
	If you release what Martha Stewart said last night on the Bieber roast, if you release that on Twitter, her stock would have been cut in half.
	She would have been reduced.
	She made homophobia.
	Black people, people in prison, in jail.
	I mean, she just went on and on.
	It was spectacular.
	But it was on TV. It wasn't on Twitter.
	Ah, TV and not on Twitter.
	Now you're talking, Jay.
	That thing is evil, that Twitter thing.
	That thing is horrible.
	If you go back to Jon Stewart, you know, Jon Stewart also backs him.
	And from one of his greatest bits, you know, which was the faith off, I think we must just ride the Red Sea log flume with him because he thinks this kid is great.
	Okay.
	So let's go with him.
	I think it's very clear.
	Mainstream or nothing.
	That's how it goes.
	Mainstream or nothing.
	Well, he gets all his money for mainstream, so what else would he say?
	He's not a blogger.
	We'll see how this pans out, but obviously it's going to be great for ratings.
	He's controversial.
	Yeah, I don't know if this guy could do that show.
	I've watched enough of his acts.
	I don't know.
	Outstanding stand-up, but I don't see him sitting behind the desk.
	I would actually say you or I or both of us will be better than a comedian doing that show.
	Yeah, I mean, Jon Stewart was never a stand-up.
	No, no, no.
	I have something.
	I think this will be welcomed by the people who listen in on our conversation twice weekly.
	I dug up...
	An ABC video from 1977-1978, and this will take us to the Climate Gate.
	To the Gate, to the Gate, to the Climate Gate.
	The black and white video will be under video and clips in the show notes, and of course this audio, which I've chopped down significantly just to prove the point, will be available as a download.
	This is about the climate and how ABC News talked about it in 1977.
	Warm periods like ours last only 10,000 years, but ours has already lasted 12,000.
	So if the rhythm is right, we are over-ready for a return of the ice.
	Experts like Reed Bryson, the head of the biggest meteorological department in the world, in Wisconsin, believe that since 1945, that has been in progress, the returning to an ice age.
	They base this on ever cooler temperature readings in the Great Plains on land and the North Atlantic at sea, and on the headlong retreat of the heat-loving armadillo from Nebraska to the southwest and to Mexico, and on many more sophisticated sides.
	The argument that we face some long cold years is pretty convincing.
	Don't pack your things and investigate real estate prices in the tropics yet.
	But there's a theory advanced by climatologists that the last two years of battering by winter means that an ice age is returning to the earth with glaciers down to the Mason-Nixon line and freezing temperatures south of that.
	Non-expert that I am, I tend to lean towards the Ice Agers for the evidence adduced by Professor Reed Bryson of the University of Wisconsin, our leading scholar.
	Among other items, he cites the rhythm of 100,000 years of Ice Age interrupted briefly by a mere 10,000 years of warmth.
	And our 10,000 years of warmth has now passed.
	There you go.
	That is something that you might want to show your friends.
	Isn't that nice?
	Yeah.
	I'm shocked.
	Shocked to find that climate data is being manipulated around here.
	Who is that again?
	That is Isaac Piggott.
	He's good.
	He's very good.
	Well, we got a couple things here.
	I got a douchebag report.
	Oh.
	Calling out Hershey.
	There's a big controversy over some little store in Greenwich Village selling Cadbury's that they've imported from England when Hershey's has bought all the rights to Cadbury's in the United States and they've manufactured themselves.
	And I'm reminded of a story from years ago.
	This will be my last story.
	When Lowenbrau, which was a decent German beer, and I think they bought them, I think it was Miller or I think it was Moody's.
	it was Miller or Anheuser-Busch, but I think it was Miller, bought them lock, stock, and barrel and decided to make, and decided to make...
	Because Lonebrow was a big seller, apparently, from after World War II until whenever they got bought as an imported beer.
	And so it was, again, Anheuser-Busch or Miller bought them...
	It was Anheuser-Busch.
	Okay, Anheuser-Busch bought them.
	It was going to be a little more expensive than Michelob.
	And the Germans sent over their brewmasters to say, well, okay, since you bought the brand, here's the guys that know how to make it, you know, so you can make it exactly the same way.
	And the Anheuser-Busch guy said, we're not interested.
	We know how to make beer.
	In fact, they just gave the name back.
	Lone Brow, they gave it to LeBot.
	Well, because it started not selling because anybody in their right mind would say, why am I paying an extra buck for what amounts to a bottle of Bud?
	Yeah.
	Well, anyway, so now we have Cadbury's selling to Hershey's, and I think Hershey's makes them, to be honest, in my opinion, and I'm going to say that...
	You don't even have to, it's all your opinion, John.
	It's my opinion.
	They make a mediocre product.
	But let's play this Hershey clip, and we talk about the battle between Cadbury's, and we find out a few interesting things here in this report, which was on the NewsHour.
	Hershey, Pennsylvania.
	That the recipes are nearly identical.
	Jim St.
	John is Hershey's master chocolatier.
	The milk, sugar, and chocolate were all cooked together in the British Isles.
	So we're buying their stuff.
	It's their specification.
	It's what the Cadbury family first brought over here to the States.
	But on the package it says milk first on the English Cadbury and sugar first on the American Cadbury.
	Yes, that's true.
	And that's because the rules around labeling are different in England than they are in the United States.
	They count all the milk including the water that was in the milk.
	In the United States, we can't count the water.
	But there is one crucial difference, and why Hershey's had to change the recipe to comply with U.S. federal regulations.
	What they sell in England can't be sold in the United States and be called milk chocolate because they add fats other than cocoa butter.
	They're using palm and shea oils.
	We're only using cocoa butter.
	So palm oil, shea oil, that's not part of what's considered chocolate in the United States, according to FDA standards.
	Right.
	So that is not a chocolate in the United States.
	So those remembrances of warm feelings past are triggered by palm and shea oils?
	Well, even so, why not let the little store in Greenwich Village sell the original Cadbury chocolate?
	What's the big deal to Hershey?
	Our intention is not to go after the smaller shops.
	Who is going after the shop?
	Hershey's.
	They're going after the shop for gray market Cadbury.
	Gotcha.
	But when we started seeing this formula in the mass retailers, that's when we got concerned, because it's a slippery slope.
	Let's say the Brits, it's not just about Cadbury.
	Hershey's has successfully blocked other British brands, like Toffee Crisp, made by Nestle in the UK, because its wrapper, says Hershey's, looks like their Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
	And England's Yorkie bar can no longer be imported because its name sounds like Hershey's York Peppermint Patty.
	Get the sensation.
	So now here is a Yorkie bar from England, and you all won't allow this because the name is too similar to a York Peppermint Patty.
	We own the name York.
	York Peppermint Patty started out in York, Pennsylvania.
	This is a long clip.
	It's almost over.
	Yorkshire, you know, War of the Roses.
	The grand old Duke of York, he had 10,000 men.
	Okay, stop, stop, stop.
	That's where it's supposed to end.
	Yeah, it should.
	I obviously didn't.
	No, no, no.
	Anyway, the point to be made is that this Yorkie bar, whatever it is, looks like nothing like a York peppermint patty.
	It's a big bar.
	And these guys, I just pointed this out.
	This is my douchebag clip of the day.
	Hershey's is obviously a bunch of douchebags.
	I should mention that Cadbury's not much better.
	They've been bought and sold and bought and sold, and the idea that they...
	You can look up Cadbury on the Wikipedia, and one time somebody sold to somebody, and the next thing you know, they added...
	They took out the cocoa butter and added the palm oil, so they cheapened the product even in England.
	Okay.
	And which reminds me of the peanut butter you get in the United States where they extract the peanut oil, which is worth more than the peanut butter.
	And then they put in some cheap oils.
	Look at your peanut butter thing.
	It'll say it won't have any peanut oil.
	It's got some sort of soybean oil or canola oil mixed in with the peanuts.
	Almond butter.
	My favorite.
	Whatever they can.
	I don't know.
	Okay, are you angry about this?
	I think it's douchey.
	Okay, well, we'll do a douchebag.
	Douchebag!
	Douchebag!
	Hey, man, fist bump.
	Oh, that's all I want to do.
	What's your dirty believe?
	It's time for now.
	iPhone's my phone.
	The way I see it, the only good phone's a landline, and the phone should be made out of Bakelite.
	All right.
	Tech News, everybody.
	It's Sunday.
	That means it's time for Tech News.
	Hey, hold on a second.
	Someone just bought something with my Apple ID? Now, surely this must be a scam.
	Hold on a second.
	Yes.
	Scam.
	Wow, that's a good one.
	That's good phishing.
	What'd they do?
	How'd you get it?
	It was an email?
	Yep.
	Hello, AppleIDAdamatCurry.com, which is, I think, incorrect, was just used to purchase equal responsibility by climbers from the iTunes store.
	The purchase was initiated from Mexico.
	Yeah, okay, fine.
	I'm going to fall for that one.
	Tech news!
	And I need to remind you of some tech news that you want to talk about.
	Why don't you tell us about your Gmail?
	I wrote it down.
	I wrote it down to do this on Tech News.
	What I was going to do, and I'll do it, is that I was going to complain, because Gmail, we have a lot of problem getting our newsletter through, which is people literally subscribe to it, and they want it, and they try to whitelist it and do all this sort of thing to get the newsletter, so it's...
	You know, so they can read it if they want to.
	Or not read it if they want to.
	Not because Google says that they should or not.
	So Google's got all these filters.
	I want to read.
	I don't use Gmail that much, so I don't get to clear out my box.
	So I get to notice the stuff that builds up.
	Well, you can't get the newsletter.
	You'll get, I'm going to just read a few of the mails I've got on my Gmail account.
	Neiman Marcus sent me a Gmail letter.
	Up to 75% off.
	Evening Dash.
	Now I've got something here written in Russian.
	I don't know what it says, but it's from somebody.
	Okay.
	It might even not be Russian.
	It's some language I don't recognize.
	Neiman Marcus again.
	New arrival.
	See what's just in.
	John Arrow says, enlisting e-alert for homes for sale.
	Some 92127 area.
	I don't know.
	I never signed up for that.
	Why am I getting it?
	Oh, you think that these are being put in now?
	No, I think what Google does is they, you know, we're not paying to get delivered.
	We're not, you know, this is a corrupt system that these guys operate.
	I have so much spam in the Google box, and I don't get spam in my normal box.
	The Google box, I get nothing but spam.
	Tell me this isn't spam.
	St.
	Louis Outlet Mall, Sears Outlet Inventory Reduction Sale.
	I didn't sign up for this.
	Toys R Us!
	And then it's in Hebrew.
	I didn't sign up for Hebrew.
	And it goes on and on.
	So it's really trapping spam, is what you're saying.
	Meanwhile, I did sign up for the No Agenda newsletter, and I don't get it.
	Even if you whitelist and put it in your address book and move it over, it still doesn't work?
	I've sent this note.
	A lot of people say, oh, it's not a problem.
	I never had a problem.
	Most people have a problem if they use Gmail to get what they want to get.
	Instead, they get yourhealthcare.gov appointment, important notification, final month of special enrollment period.
	They don't care.
	Neiman Marcus again.
	Boy, they're really doing it.
	Hurry, up to 65% off during real deal sale.
	Christy Bunnell, vote now for Bring Back My Bar.
	I will say President Barack Obama, and look, I have a Gmail account, of course, although I don't use it except to receive clips from you when they're too large.
	President Barack Obama's email preventing Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon went to the promotions tab, which, of course, it is a promotion, so that makes sense, I guess.
	It is a total promotion.
	It is a promotion.
	Well, they're doing a good job.
	I don't know, John.
	Get off Gmail.
	Don't use it.
	I have to use it to send you the clips.
	And, of course, that's why you got a low...
	Oh, I remember now.
	Because you got a low open rate on the...
	It went to promotion and spam because Gmail saw it that way.
	Yes, because there was one too many links, I believe.
	That's why we're doomed.
	No, we are doomed.
	Yeah, doomed.
	All right.
	However, there's a way out.
	It's more of a pet peeve than it is.
	There's a way out.
	We can make some money.
	I figured out how we can make some money finally.
	Tesla did an April Fool joke.
	Ha ha ha.
	Boy, do I despise April Fool jokes.
	Especially from the media.
	But this was from Tesla and they announced a new product line called Model W, which the joke was worse than an April Fool joke is one that's not funny.
	And the headline was announcing the Tesla Model W. And they talked about this watch line they're going to release that tells the time, that gives you the date, and you don't need to recharge it.
	Very funny.
	But here's what happened.
	Because this came out as a press release, Most trading systems today on Wall Street and around the world have all kinds of quasi, I'll call it quasi-artificial intelligence, to look at certain words and then start making trades ahead of it as fast as possible in milliseconds.
	So when this came out, the headline was announcing the Tesla Model W, the stock jumped $1.50, and It went up as high as $188.5.
	400,000 shares traded in a couple minutes.
	That's one of the quickest, heaviest volumes of trading for this stock since it started trading.
	But then, of course, it immediately retracted and dropped down below the price that it opened at.
	So this is very interesting.
	If you're fast enough and you know what you're doing, and Andrew Horowitz is listening right now, if you can get the right type of headline out there and you can make it go viral, and I think there's headlines that can go viral by themselves, and we could actually set up a little consortium of people with 50,000 or 60,000 real Twitter followers, I bet we could move stock based upon the so-called artificial intelligence.
	And trade it both ways, on the way up and on the way down.
	Yeah, that's called an illegal pump and dump scheme, by the way.
	Oh.
	So, this was not a scheme?
	This was just a joke and we're very sure of that?
	Well...
	Mm-hmm.
	No.
	No.
	But they got the excuse, oh, you could probably act innocent, but if you're actually setting up shop to do these things, no, it's illegal.
	And they will eventually catch up with you.
	Although the Wolf of Wall Street was a pump and dump operation, if you saw that movie, and if you've ever seen this guy, he got off scot-free.
	The whole thing was just like, it was, I mean, meanwhile, it was the jail.
	Put in there by our current director of FBI, James Comey.
	James Tiberius called me.
	I forget about that.
	That's it?
	No.
	Well, I have a couple other things.
	Okay.
	We've got to make tech news a segment.
	We do.
	Electronic Frontier Foundation, not my favorite organization, but they do bring up something very interesting that it is illegal for you to tamper with, reverse engineer, or do anything to your automobile's system.
	And they will take you to court.
	When did this get passed?
	Well, this is based on the DMCA and now the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.
	People have sold computers for these cars commonly, I thought.
	You know, you can take your computer out and put in another one that's been modded.
	I will give you...
	Well, here it is.
	You should not be allowed to modify the code in your car because you might defraud a used car purchaser by changing the mileage.
	You should not even be allowed to look at the code without the manufacturer's permission because this could allow, check this, the public to learn how cars work could help malicious hackers hack the car.
	Yeah, bullcrap.
	John Deere, the tractor company?
	They argue that letting people modify car computer systems will result in them pirating music through the onboard entertainment system.
	Oh, bull.
	Yeah, but they're claiming the DMCA protects them for this.
	Worth noting.
	Because in 2011, Ford and Bug Labs announced that they were creating a platform that will encourage users to modify computers in the automaker's future cars.
	Really?
	I mean, the reason you want to do this is because you can set up curves, acceleration curves, shifting curves.
	You know, this car, like a Lexus, for example, is known to be, you can add 50 horsepower to the car by changing the computer.
	Right.
	By putting in a different chip or one of those booster chips or something.
	Well, you can't do it without deconstructing the old chip.
	You don't know what to do.
	Well, it's foreboding.
	Well, this is bull crap.
	That's why it's tech news.
	At least it's not about a phone.
	Then I have...
	And by the way, a new phone was released.
	Really?
	Did it have a curved screen?
	I don't know.
	It just came out.
	Oh, wow.
	In the show notes, an entire list of known Easter eggs for the Amazon Echo, which is...
	Oh, this product you like.
	I love this product.
	I love this.
	You know what I love more than the product?
	It's the team behind it.
	I send suggestions, boom, I get five people on emails, and they're like, oh, this is good, we should do that.
	They're really, really working very hard on this.
	It's fun.
	All right, stop.
	Hammer time.
	One time, give me one suggestion that you've ever made.
	Oh, I've made several suggestions.
	I just want one.
	When Alexa, that's her name, is reading the news, you have a news briefing, you can customize it, what topics you want, you can have the latest NPR news, which I like hearing because it's NPR news, and it's funny to hear, then the BBC news, then she'll go through a list, and this is actually how I came up with the suggestion, A list of topics that you choose, and she'll read it in not a bad voice and not bad cadence.
	But I noticed that some of the news stories, she would only read the headline and not read the story, which I believe is probably an XML error or some parsing system is wrong somewhere.
	So I sent this in.
	I said, by the way, why don't you just make it so she reads the headlines and you can then say, Alexa, read the story, so she can continuously skip over stories until something I want to hear.
	I think that's a valid suggestion.
	Wow, you're putting effort into this.
	Yes.
	I like what Amazon does.
	I like them.
	I like this company.
	I like this product.
	I like that they're going to, of course, you can only buy music now, but they're going to connect it, of course, to, you already have the shopping list in your to-do list, so just automatically order the stuff for me.
	I've tried out that Amazon Pantry.
	Have you tried this?
	I don't know what you're talking about.
	The pantry box.
	Wasn't that an April Fool joke?
	I know that's real.
	Yeah, it's a pantry box.
	It ships for $5.95 no matter what you put into it.
	And it's a sizable box.
	And it's just no matter what the weight is.
	And it's good for all that crap, you know, like dishwasher detergent and fabric softener and some biz.
	Yeah, I wonder if they have biz.
	Or some Silic Bang, another one of my favorites.
	So I've made that recommendation.
	I've done a couple.
	I can't remember offhand.
	I could find the email.
	This is a dynamite product.
	They just added Pandora now to it, which I find interesting.
	They're adding a competing music service.
	That's pretty good.
	So here's some of the stuff they have.
	Coca-Cola fridge pack, smart water, Lay's potatoes.
	These are all commercial items.
	There's nothing special here.
	I didn't say it's special, but it's the stuff that's a pain in the ass to go out and get.
	And I just say...
	Get to shop for your meat anyway.
	You can pick up a box of laundry detergent.
	When you live alone and you live on the 15th floor, you are happy to make one trip from the car.
	By the way, always use liquid detergent.
	Yes.
	What else is there?
	Powder.
	Oh, no.
	Always liquid.
	Anyway.
	Biz is okay as powder.
	Biz.
	Finally, I just put a fun little PDF in the show notes for people who are interested in technology.
	And this is a summary from the United States Army Electronics Command, MCOM. It's an older one.
	And it is the performance of trees as radio antennas in tropical jungle forests.
	It's a fascinating read.
	What?
	They measured performance of trees using trees as radio antennas in tropical jungle forests.
	But you wire them up!
	Do you have a wire going up the tree or can you use the tree itself?
	No, you use the actual tree itself.
	How do you do that?
	You stick a wire in it.
	You need to read the PDF. And based on that, I discovered Alexander Popov?
	Alexander who?
	Popov.
	Popov?
	P-O-P-O-V? Yeah, Popov.
	Do you know who he is?
	Well, I'm going to find out quickly.
	But don't look, don't look.
	This is Alexander Stepanovich Popov, Russian.
	He is credited as the inventor of radio.
	Usurping Tesla and Marconi.
	Marconi, yeah.
	I didn't know that...
	Well, the Russians always do this.
	The Chinese do it too.
	But it's on Wikipedia.
	Well, let me look him up.
	Alexander Stepanovich Popov.
	Mm-hmm.
	Let's see.
	Acclaimed in his homeland and Eastern European countries as the inventor of radio.
	So I guess...
	Well, what did he do with it?
	He invented and did what?
	He created the first spark interpreter, I guess you could call it, where he could make a radio would detect noise from lightning strikes and ring a bell in concert with the lightning strikes.
	And from that, you know, he built the Popov lighting detector circuit.
	Which is arguably the first spark gap generator receiver.
	Just one of those things.
	This will be me in podcasting in a couple of years.
	Hey, who's this guy over here?
	What does he do?
	He's born in a couple of years.
	I only think he had something to do with podcasting in Holland.
	It can't be real.
	It can't be for real, this guy.
	So he did a radio station in 1900.
	Mm-hmm.
	On Hogland to provide two-way communication by wireless telegraphy between the Russian naval base and the crew of the battleship General Admiral Apigason.
	Isn't that cool?
	And then it ran aground.
	Yeah.
	I guess that didn't do much because they were too busy checking their Facebook status.
	And then one more question.
	Is there a new phone for us to talk about?
	No.
	The only good phone is a landline and the phone should be made out of Bakelite.
	Too bad that Tech Grouch couldn't join us for today's segment, but that is your tech news, ladies and gentlemen.
	Real tech news with things that are interesting to you, not just about phones.
	Yeah, a little history, too.
	On that stupid, stupid watch.
	Oh, that watch.
	It's the only watch you have to take off in the middle of the day to recharge.
	Let's not even talk about it.
	All right, Johnny Boy, I think we should wind this down.
	You've got a birthday to celebrate.
	You've got flesh to press, babies to kiss.
	You're a busy man.
	Yeah, sounds like it.
	You got something to play us out?
	Let's see.
	Oh yeah, let's play the Islam taking over.
	That's a good clip.
	And finally, new research shows Islam is rapidly gaining on Christianity and believers worldwide.
	The Pew Research Center reports that if current trends hold, the number of Muslims were nearly equal the number of Christians by the year 2050, at just under 3 billion each.
	The survey cites differing birth rates and other factors.
	Woohoo!
	Fight!
	It's a religious fight.
	We're good to go, everybody, on the fight.
	All right, food price is down.
	Oil price down.
	Economy up.
	Euro down.
	Greece about to run out of money, so they say.
	So again, so they say.
	Pleasure squads.
	What was the other one?
	What was the other term?
	Joy Brigade.
	Joy Brigade.
	There you go, everybody.
	Perfect.
	Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
	Enjoy your birthday, John.
	Everybody else, enjoy Easter, Passover, Pesach, whatever you happen to celebrate, or anything.
	Anything.
	Just enjoy yourself.
	Just enjoy yourself.
	Exactly.
	As always, this program is put together with great love and care.
	And string and paperclips.
	Yes.
	It is all a part of your healthy news diet.
	Very important for you to be healed from time to time.
	We're happy to do it.
	We're here twice a week.
	Coming to you from FEMA Region 6 here in the capital of the Drone Star State, Austin Tejas, in the Crackpot Condo.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where the rain, by the way, has come and gone.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We will return on Thursday right here on No Agenda.
	If you wake up with the blues, trying to fill your day with news, there's one thing you must remember, No Agenda in the Morning.
	For a healthy, balanced news diet, try NoAgendaShow.com.
	Happy birthday!
	I'm Joe Biden, and thank you for taking the time to listen.
	Adios, mofo.
	We're kept in the loop with a super-duper group of Uber spies.
	Uber!
	The best podcast in the universe.
	Amen.
	Fist bump.

▲