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Dec. 28, 2014 - No Agenda

02:56:04

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	By the way, we should mention to the Chinese that if we get screwed, the whole world's economy collapses and they're screwed too.
	Oh yeah.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Sunday, December 28th, 2014.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation media assassination.
	This is episode 682.
	This is No Agenda.
	Feeling suckered and hoaxed!
	And 100% live from FEMA Region 6 in the capital of the Drone Star State, Austin Tejas.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where fights are breaking out, I'm John C. Devorah.
	It's Crack, Blood, and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	What fights are breaking out?
	You didn't notice the fights are breaking out everywhere?
	There's a fight in Georgia, in the country Georgia.
	No.
	No?
	Okay.
	So I don't have the clip of the other fight, the big one in New Jersey, where apparently 2,000 kids on social media decided to meet up at a mall and start fighting.
	Oh, I missed all this, and this is my hometown.
	The funny thing, it was mostly black girls.
	So when you see the movies of the fights, it's just a bunch of girls punching each other and, like, I don't know, 500 guys holding up their cell phones, giggling and taking pictures of it.
	Wait a minute.
	Are you sure this is happening right now?
	Yeah, and then there was, here's the local one.
	This is happening all over the country.
	Oh, Team Fights Force Pennsylvania Mall.
	Oh my goodness.
	What is going on?
	And there's this one I have.
	I have the local one.
	Uh-huh.
	Where is it?
	What's the name of this clip?
	This is, this is, this is the, the rapture.
	Duh.
	Uh, hold on a second.
	Yes.
	This is the rapture.
	Art and Fair Mall in Sacramento reopened with extra security today after fights shut it down early last night.
	Police responded to a call of shots fired but found no shooting.
	Instead, they found multiple fights had broken out at the food court.
	One of them involved about 20 people.
	I was just eating and just all of a sudden just a whole bunch of people got up and started running and everybody was fighting and security officers was tackling people and then we walked by and a whole bunch of people were lined up in handcuffs and it was crazy.
	An 18-year-old man was arrested and a juvenile was also taken into custody.
	We say no one was seriously injured in those fights.
	Hmm.
	It seems to have happened last year as well.
	Kids fighting, yeah.
	It's organized, but social media is largely responsible for the large group back east, which I thought it was Jersey.
	John, remember, social media doesn't kill people.
	People kill people.
	I've heard this.
	I need a bumper sticker.
	Wow, I didn't know about this.
	I'm reminded when I was a kid.
	Oh yeah, here we go.
	We used to have, they stopped doing it, they actually changed the date at the Alameda County Fair, where they had, on the 4th of July night, on 4th of July they had the fireworks, and then a fight.
	A massive fight.
	After the fireworks, I'm just going to go fight.
	It's just like, like the Wanderers.
	You ever see that movie, The Wanderers?
	You ever see that?
	It was, no.
	Oh, man.
	Oh, yes, it's about the New York gangs.
	It's a classic, 70s.
	The Wanderers, yeah.
	Right after the fight, all hell would break loose and there would be, I don't know, hundreds of kids fighting, always in high school, mostly Chicanos or Latinos or whatever you want to call them today, but they're from a couple of specific schools.
	Hello, old white guy.
	It's the Chicanos.
	It's the Chicanos.
	Chicanos.
	I like it.
	I'm down with that.
	Chicanos.
	Well, anyway, they got into these big fights, and you could get punched out if you were standing in the wrong place, because they'd be running all over the place.
	The running punchers, you'd see these guys, this very specific type of fighter.
	He would run as fast as he could, just punch somebody right in the face and keep running.
	Punch somebody else.
	And there was just melee.
	It was just a huge...
	And it just went on year after year after year.
	And then the Alameda County Fair moved it to the third, and there's fight stuff.
	This is interesting.
	Yeah, these fights.
	I don't know what it is.
	These kids get pentapostilities.
	There used to be a lot more fighting in school.
	Yeah, I remember we would have like, I don't know if it's still like that.
	I guess you can't even do that anymore where, hey man, I'll see you after school.
	Everyone would know, it's going to be a real fight.
	Yeah, and then everyone would gather around.
	At the playground.
	And two guys would try to beat each other up.
	Yeah, first they'd taunt each other.
	I got beat up once by two girls at school.
	I know.
	Well, thank you for that.
	I know.
	I'm admitting things.
	This is the season to repent.
	Yeah, these two girls.
	I don't know.
	They were, like, really pissed off at me.
	Two tough girls could beat up any guy.
	Oh, but they pulled my hair, and what was I going to do?
	I can't hit these girls back, but they were beating up on me.
	That's true.
	Well, that's a dilemma.
	Yes, it's a dilemma.
	Can you cold cock either one of them?
	No.
	In fact, a teacher broke up the fight, and I'm just fending off for dear life.
	I don't even remember what it was about.
	But I think...
	At some point, I probably said something provocative, like, well, I'll kick your ass, bitch!
	Something like that.
	And she said, oh, yeah?
	Well, we'll see you after school.
	Like, oh, crap.
	And I got blamed, of course.
	Well, it's your fault.
	You said, I'll kick your ass, bitch.
	You should be blamed.
	Yeah.
	Wow, that was a dark mark on my soul.
	Well, maybe you just got out of your system.
	So there was a fight in the...
	You okay?
	Yeah.
	There was a fight in the Georgian Parliament.
	This is not a...
	I don't have anything with any narration, but this was the 26th.
	And what happened was the opposition party...
	This is the fighting.
	But they're jumping like superfly.
	Because it's kind of one of those arenas, like a parliament is, where you have back benches that go up higher and higher.
	And dudes were jumping off the higher benches in the back onto dudes down below.
	And they're ripping off the microphones that they use to talk in this parliament and hitting people with it.
	It's completely crazy.
	And this is all because the opposition leader in parliament swore.
	He said, you know, he cussed somebody or something.
	And the whole place just went nuts.
	And this is, you know, this is our big ally there in the region for the Baku pipeline to go through the sea via our friends Georgia.
	George W. Bush Airport.
	As long as the Russians don't get a foothold.
	A lot of interesting things happened.
	Well, first of all, I really missed not doing a show live on Thursday.
	Did you?
	Did you have any withdrawal symptoms?
	Did you have any issues?
	No.
	I listened to the show for a few minutes.
	I listened to the whole thing.
	I actually kind of liked it.
	You might as well have done the show then.
	Well...
	No, because the show is the least amount of work.
	Well, that's true.
	It's all the prep and it's getting ready and sorting stuff out.
	What did you think of the show?
	Yeah, it was alright.
	I got a lot of positive comments.
	Yeah, some people said good things.
	Yeah.
	You know, the comic strip blogger hates us, as always.
	Didn't use his album art.
	He uses his album art in a newsletter.
	Right, but that's not good enough.
	That's not good enough for him.
	No, what I really miss...
	Well, let me just say this about that.
	It sounds a little bit like a Kennedy.
	Please do.
	Let me say this about that.
	That's a performative, if I've ever heard one.
	Oh, yeah.
	He essentially is a natural at doing evergreen art, which works out perfectly for the newsletter.
	But there's no...
	He does funny pieces, but they're not thematic to the specific show, necessarily.
	Right.
	And when they are, they're not as good as his evergreens.
	So I don't know what he's...
	We can't do much.
	We can use his pieces.
	We've used his pieces a couple times.
	Some people never got...
	You know, he's one of these guys who sends an email and says, well, I can't donate to your show because you support racist UKIP. I'm like, okay, fine.
	Is he British?
	I didn't know he was British.
	No, he's Polish.
	Why does he give a crap about UKIP? Because he says Nigel Farage and all of UKIP is biased and racist against Poland.
	Despite listening to our show, all he does is believe media propaganda.
	Exactly.
	Huh.
	He sends me links to prove it.
	It doesn't matter.
	That shows you why the art doesn't get in.
	It's because he's not fully connected to the true stream of unconsciousness.
	He has not connected his soul to the broadband pipe of no agenda healthiness.
	Yes.
	Well, it happens.
	Anyway, I missed it just because there was so much going on.
	I missed the opportunity to mock the elites as they bestowed this hoax upon us known as the interview.
	Oh, my goodness.
	I mean, could we have called everything more right about this thing?
	No, we couldn't have been more right.
	I don't think we could have been more right.
	It was so obvious.
	I know that you watched the movie.
	I actually watched it as well.
	I need to...
	Hold on a second.
	I just need to play two things because that was...
	So Sony relented, or they reversed their decision, apparently...
	Yeah, apparently in an obscene effort to get back some of the money they've spent on this turkey of a movie.
	And by the way, before anyone listens any further, neither one of us are recommending anyone spend a nickel on this piece of crap.
	Well, we do have Man on the Street interview, which is always fun, just to let you listen in to how stupid we are in America, as these are people waiting in line.
	Of course, Texas has a lot of the Alamo theaters, so we've got a lot of local news covering people going to see this.
	And here's how the propaganda works.
	Now, people who are listening to this program, if you have your No Agenda ears on, you'll recognize immediately how sick these people are, just purely ill.
	The first one, interestingly enough, sounds like she's British.
	This is a film I probably would not have come to see because of the controversy.
	I thought I would come out tonight to stand up for freedom of speech.
	I don't think people are afraid of North Korea here in America on American soil.
	We've got thousands of patriotic Americans on missing Christmas with their families to defend our country overseas.
	And we can't go to a movie at home.
	That seems kind of lame.
	I am here because I wanted to support...
	Hey, douche, you're going to the movie!
	Filmmakers who were being censored by a foreign body.
	Filmmakers being censored by a foreign body.
	I don't believe that anybody should have the right to censor a work, whether it's satirical or not.
	Alright, let's talk about this for one second.
	First of all, it's not satirical.
	Let us talk about the censorship for a moment.
	This is one thing the president talked about in his year-ender, his big double-ender, year-ender speech about self-censorship and how he felt that this was wrong of Sony to self-censor.
	Let us quickly review.
	Oh, here it is.
	We cannot have a society...
	In which some dictator someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States.
	Because if somebody is able to intimidate folks out of releasing a satirical movie, imagine what they start doing when they see a documentary that they don't like, or news reports that they don't like.
	Or even worse, imagine if producers and distributors And others start engaging in self-censorship because they don't want to offend the sensibilities of...
	Somebody whose sensibilities probably need to be offended.
	You know, that's not who we are.
	That's not what America's about.
	Okay, so that's the piece that, when I heard him say, you know, we need to, maybe there's somebody who needs to be offended.
	Maybe these guys need to be offended, somebody out there, some folks.
	And that's not who we are.
	That's not what America's all about, which reminded me of these exact words he used.
	It is important for us to make sure that very graphic photos of somebody who was shot in the head are not floating around as an incitement to additional violence as a propaganda tool.
	That's not who we are.
	That's not who we are.
	I don't know what we are now.
	We're nothing, apparently.
	That's a good catch.
	Same clip.
	It's the same thing.
	That's not who we are.
	That's not who we are.
	Who are we?
	That's not who we are is this stupid movie.
	Who are we is what I want to know.
	Well, apparently people with boners that go straight out.
	You notice that too, huh?
	Straight out.
	Like a stick in the guy's pants.
	That's a semi, man.
	Three mentions of erections, one visual portrayal with the camera on him.
	This movie, by the way, was directed by Seth Rogen.
	It was also written by Seth Rogen.
	Yeah.
	If he gets more work, it's going to be a disaster.
	It is the most juvenile thing I've ever seen in my life.
	It had nothing but booger and dick jokes, for those in the comic sphere who understand what that means.
	It was a lot of gay jokes.
	A lot of gay jokes.
	In fact, the whole thing was about everyone's gay.
	Yeah.
	But have you seen Seth Rogen movies, I'm wondering, John?
	Have you?
	I have.
	I saw Green Lantern, a piece of crap.
	Oh, I hate a Green Lantern.
	How about, did you see Pineapple Express?
	No.
	But see, you kind of have to...
	Do you remember Fast Times at Ridgemont High?
	Yeah, this is a side type movie.
	This is like one of those Porky movies.
	Porky's Revenge.
	If people like Porky's Revenge, they would love this movie.
	That's why I liked it!
	I gotta tell you, I laughed several times.
	I thought the whole Eminem is gay thing was funny.
	It's very well known.
	But you're telling me it's funny?
	That the guy, there's a tank going on that crushes some guy's head?
	And then, this is the only movie I've ever seen.
	It has both projectile vomiting, and then the height of comedy, projectile diarrhea, depicted on the screen.
	Yeah, see, you just have never seen...
	I've seen all these sorts of movies.
	I didn't see Apple Express.
	That would have been a good one to see.
	How about The End?
	This is where the James Flacco, Seth Rogen franchise was developed.
	This movie called The End, which also stars Leguizamo.
	No, no, no.
	Jonah Hill.
	Yeah.
	Have you seen this movie?
	I don't understand why they just don't get Pauly Shore and put him into the mix.
	Now you're really hurting me because Pauly Shore is a dick.
	Yeah.
	Hey, what's up?
	Fuck that guy.
	You can tone down the cussing today.
	I'm sorry, but they put him on MTV and preempted everybody because he was so funny.
	Oh, this is because this is an MTV grudge.
	It's got really nothing to do with the guy being not funny.
	No, really.
	So Pauly Shore is not funny.
	And the reason he was put on MTV all the time was because of his mom.
	Okay.
	Who runs the comedy store in L.A. That's right, I knew that.
	Everybody wanted seats.
	You'd think a kid that had so much comedy in his world would be funny, but no.
	Here is one of the better...
	We could have done a rewrite of this particular scene and it would have come out better, but at least it had some value to me.
	No, this is not a joke, okay?
	Well, I think you're being kind of condescending.
	One second.
	What the fuck, man?
	That was John Kerry's office.
	Forget that oak tree-looking fuck.
	This tops it.
	It should have been Watermelon Head, not Oak Tree.
	Well, I would...
	If you think this movie was in any way decent...
	I didn't say that.
	I did not say that.
	The thing with the missile coming down and killing the tiger.
	I mean, the Budacris storyline.
	Okay, John.
	The change in characters, the Seth Rogen character, first it was against doing this whole thing, and then he became all for it.
	Or the coincidence of the guy eating the chewing gum.
	These are all spoilers, by the way.
	Eating the chewing gum with the poison and then dying.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that was lame.
	It doesn't even look like chewing gum.
	But let's put it this way.
	It's a band-aid.
	Let me put it this way.
	This movie...
	And you know me.
	I don't pirate stuff.
	I pay for...
	When somebody makes something, I want to make sure they get them.
	People send me torrent links all the time.
	I said, no, thank you.
	I'm not interested.
	I'll pay for stuff.
	I don't care.
	I'll pay.
	Even if it's shit, I'll pay for stuff.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Go on.
	Yeah, I didn't pay for this one.
	Screw it.
	I watched this.
	Someone gave me a Dropbox download, and I watched it at 1 in the morning on my laptop.
	It was okay for that.
	We paid for it and got an HD version, which we watched.
	And it was one of these...
	You know me about...
	I don't like...
	Paying for movies.
	I soon wait for HBO to come out and do the movie.
	Unless it's a movie that I really want to see.
	But you're paying for it in another way.
	I will see a movie in a theater if it's like a spectacular or some movie I really want to see.
	Like Birdman, I went and paid for that.
	Whatever it cost.
	But we paid for this.
	And it was one of those kind of gotchas.
	It was a catch-22 because it was a movie normally, if I was watching on HBO, I'd be done with it at $15,000.
	You know, okay, I'm through.
	There's other things to do with my time.
	I can't spend, waste my time watching this garbage.
	I agree.
	I agree.
	But because I paid for it.
	You're going to watch it.
	I felt, you know, okay.
	So Mimi and I both sat there and watched the whole thing groaning the whole time.
	And I mean, I can't say that there wasn't a moment or two where there was funny stuff.
	It was.
	Like two items.
	So what is your point?
	Okay, we got it.
	You didn't like the movie.
	The point is people do not spend any money on this piece of crap.
	You're just feeding the hands at Sony who are corrupt.
	Well, yes.
	And now let's move away from the merits of the celluloid production to CBS News, CBS News, who clearly have been following our lead for several weeks.
	We have said this is an inside job.
	This is not North Korea.
	There's the evidence, the forensics are weak that the FBI presents.
	And it's, you know, by the way, the FBI should be ashamed of itself.
	Hell yeah, listen to this.
	As Jerika Jess reported, the FBI blames North Korea for hacking Sony Pictures.
	Others are not so sure.
	Sony was not just hacked.
	This was a company that has essentially been nuked from the inside.
	Kurt Stamberger is a senior vice president with Norse, a respected Silicon Valley cybersecurity firm.
	Now stop.
	Do we know this outfit, Norse?
	Is this truly a respected...
	No?
	Never heard of them.
	Well, just so you know, Mr.
	Tech Journalist, they're a respected Silicon Valley cybersecurity firm.
	Yeah, well, they might be.
	It's possible.
	It's not as though tech journalists are generally dealing with these obscure firms that do consulting.
	Not directly involved in the Sony case, it has conducted its own investigation.
	We are very confident that this was not an attack masterminded by North Korea and that insiders were key to the implementation of one of the most devastating attacks in history.
	Okay, so clearly this is a sales job for Norse because they're so respected.
	But what I liked is they have some data to back up their claim.
	He says Norse data is pointing towards a person who calls herself Lena and claims to be connected with the so-called Guardians of Peace hacking group.
	Norse believes they've identified this person as someone who worked at Sony in Los Angeles for 10 years.
	Lena Dunham!
	This past May.
	This woman was in precisely the right position and had the deep technical background she would need to locate the specific servers that were compromised.
	Other experts in cybersecurity and private intelligence are also questioning the FBI's claim that North Korea is solely to blame for the Sony hack.
	There are certainly North Korean fingerprints on this, but when we run all of those leads to ground, they turn out to be decoys or red herrings.
	For instance, while the malware used to attack Sony has been used by North Korea before, it is also used by hackers around the world.
	Hackers.
	Now, it's worth noting that the original demand of the hackers was for money from Sony in exchange for not releasing embarrassing information.
	There was no mention of the movie The Interview.
	James, meanwhile, the FBI is continuing its investigation of the Sony hack.
	Hack.
	Hack.
	They just like saying hack.
	Yeah, so thank you very much, CBS. Welcome to reality.
	Now, here's what was really great.
	About this past week.
	Not only did we have all of this stuff going on, but we got a...
	The script writers got together and they said, you know what?
	This is just too good.
	We need to put out another episode of the show.
	Do you know the show I'm talking about?
	No, what?
	Well, Matt and Marie, they're talking sensory.
	Oh, cool.
	Yeah.
	I miss this.
	Oh, yeah.
	K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
	It's the Matt and Marie Show!
	Starring Matt Lee!
	Woo!
	Also starring Marie Hart!
	Woo-hoo-hoo!
	Now, I have to say that, first of all, they were doing some renovation in the regular State Department briefing room.
	So they were in this big auditorium where they had mics they had to turn on and off.
	And Marie was very uncomfortable because they had the lectern there, you know, the podium, as she would call it.
	And because of the nature of this auditorium, which was really kind of like a U.N. General Assembly type setting, They had spotlights on her, and she was a bit uncomfortable.
	Now, Matt is right off to her right, and he's sitting in pole position, if you will.
	And it was just wonderful.
	John, I have to tell you that I learned so much from one briefing, not just about Sony, about all world affairs.
	The Matt and Marie show should be prime time must-see TV. This is so good.
	And let us start it off with the first question and answer session between our lovebirds.
	Well, as the FBI and the President and everyone has now made clear, we are confident the North Korean government is responsible for this destructive attack.
	Destructive.
	We stand by this conclusion.
	The government of North Korea has a long history of denying responsibility for destructive and provocative actions.
	And if they want to help here, they can admit their culpability and compensate Sony for the damages that they caused.
	Now, when I heard this, my head spun around.
	What?!
	You're going to send him a bill?
	You're calling on the North Korean government to compensate Sony?
	Is Matt Lee the man or what?
	Matt Lee, the diplomatic reporter for Associated Press, everybody.
	Star of our show.
	Well, over the weekend they said a number of things, including what Pam referenced, but also talking about a joint investigation.
	And yes, if they want to help here, as they indicated over the weekend they did, then they can admit their culpability and compensate Sony for the damages this attack caused.
	Okay, and you also said that North Koreans have a long history of covering up?
	Of denying responsibility for destructive and provocative actions.
	That's obviously not just cyber-related, but their actions as well.
	How would you rank the U.S. record on that?
	I don't think there's any comparison at all.
	Has not the United States government denied responsibility for things that it ultimately admitted to?
	I don't think there's any comparisons to anything the U.S. government does and anything the North Korean government does, period.
	So if you have a more specific question, I'm happy to entertain that.
	The broad comparison is just not warranted.
	Well, I mean, for years and years and years you denied that there was a denial of any role in the coup in Iran in 1953, for example.
	I'm just saying...
	An episode about which we've been very open in public and discussed...
	Recently, but it took 40 years for that to happen.
	We've...
	We are, look, I will put our record of discussing our history and our past up against any other countries on the planet, particularly North Korea's.
	Is there anything else on North Korea?
	What a joke.
	No BJ for you tonight, Matt.
	Uh-uh.
	But he comes around later, and I'm playing this out of sequence, and now Matt has had some time to think about it, because he finds this very, this is, he is kind of a combination, if we had a love child, he would look like, she would look like Matt Lee, probably.
	But he's now had a chance to think about this.
	He's like, hold on a second, this compensation bullcrap.
	Let me see if I can...
	But I need to get back at this girl.
	Because, of course, they're lovers.
	As you say, North Korea is one of the most heavily sanctioned countries in the world.
	And it's pretty hard for it to be involved in any kind of legitimate, at least, international finance or commerce.
	So with that in mind, I'm wondering how much thought was given to the response...
	Put in your response before that North Korea should pay compensation to Sony...
	How could Sony legally accept compensation from North Korea?
	This is a John C. Dvorak question, by the way.
	Wait a minute.
	You can't actually accept money from North Korea because, you know, that's illegal.
	Are they an exception?
	I'm happy to check with our attorneys.
	Would you?
	Because, I mean, as far as I know, it's getting...
	Yeah, we can bend the rules a little bit.
	Don't worry about that.
	Well, I'm glad somebody called her on this bull crap.
	Oh, it's lovely.
	And why would you come out with this?
	Oh, you know, we're going to make North Korea pay them.
	For what?
	And what was the damages specifically?
	What did it amount to?
	Did she have a number?
	Did he ask her for the number?
	What's the number?
	Is it a billion?
	Is it a million?
	Is it a hundred thousand?
	Let me see what's on the rest of the clip.
	From the North Korean government, you're breaking the law.
	I'm happy to check with our attorneys.
	I'm sure we could probably find some exception to make in this case.
	I was broadly making the point that North Korea's offer this weekend to, quote, help with the investigation was probably a little bit misplaced, and there are things they could do to better assist, including admitting their culpability.
	And pay compensation.
	And paying compensation, yes.
	And what do you have in mind for that compensation?
	Would that be like actors' salaries?
	I don't have more specifics for you than that.
	But I'm happy to check with our legal folks, and I will try to get you a question or an answer on this thing.
	Actor's salaries.
	He's kind of asking the question.
	I like that.
	I think it's good.
	But then I did learn something that there's a...
	The thing that kind of gets to me is if he didn't ask this obvious question, would anyone else in the room have said anything?
	They would have just passed right on by.
	What is wrong with these people?
	Well, not every...
	There's one other woman, and I'm not sure who she works for.
	It's the woman from RT who keeps asking meaningful questions.
	Yeah, but this is not her.
	This is not the woman from RT. Now, this is the next day, so this is the second day in this new setting.
	This is somewhat longer, but this is really...
	You probably saw the clip on TV where, you know, so word gets out, whoa, North Korea's internet is down.
	Oh, okay.
	Sure, everybody.
	And I'll believe that.
	Whatever.
	Great.
	Yeah.
	Hey, it's probably us.
	You know, so Marie was being grilled and this one woman is like, you know, what's going on?
	And she's like, oh, you know, well...
	I really don't know.
	Are we going to pay them compensation for cutting off their internet?
	Well, that didn't happen, but I do want to play this interaction the next day where they all are coming back and saying, hey, look, Marie, you've got to tell us, did we do anything?
	You can't just say, na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
	Yes, Matt.
	Okay, so apropos of questions that you were getting yesterday, may I ask you if the legion of internet users in North Korea should expect...
	Come on, the legion.
	He has funny lines that he slips in there.
	He's got some good stuff.
	...to face further disruptions in the coming days of their service.
	Well, as I said yesterday, I can't speculate.
	I mean, ask the North Koreans if their internet wasn't working.
	I can't speculate on why that was.
	If it wasn't, I can't confirm the reports that it actually wasn't.
	So I would check with them.
	They're certainly the right people to speak to this.
	And I don't have much more on this.
	How exactly would you suggest we do that?
	Email?
	Dingo, boom, shagalack!
	If their internet's down, I'm not sure that...
	You're an enterprising reporter, Matt.
	I'm sure you can find some way.
	But it's not...
	I guess my point is it's not something for us to speak to.
	It's their internet and...
	It's their internet.
	I thought the internet was the world's.
	Here comes this woman.
	Now they're tag teaming her.
	This is now a love triangle with this new woman.
	I've got to find out who she is.
	Your answer yesterday to this question.
	By the way, Matt just overruled the other reporter.
	That was cool.
	Which I think Nicole raised.
	Nicole, that's her name, Nicole.
	Was interpreted by a lot of people to be a kind of nudge-nudge, wink-wink.
	And I wasn't indicating, I don't think I actually winked or nudged during that answer.
	See, now they're getting cute.
	This is a lover's spat happening before our very eyes.
	I know, and I said a couple things.
	I said I can't comment on those reports one way or the other.
	I can't confirm them one way or the other.
	I don't actually know that their internet was out.
	Bring in the other woman!
	Cue the other woman!
	Can I ask something more pointed particularly about that?
	I mean, I think it's...
	We're not asking you anymore, like, if the internet was shut down.
	It clearly seems that they've had some kind of interruption.
	So just point blank, was the U.S. involved in anything related to the internet shutting down in North Korea?
	I would like to point out that I have seen no evidence whatsoever that the internet was shut down in North Korea.
	Have you, John?
	Have you seen any real evidence?
	I don't know what evidence I'd look for.
	Thank you.
	What evidence do you look for?
	Anything.
	Any kind of forensics, network forensics that I could find.
	And I really didn't, you know, there's no...
	I don't even know what node they run through.
	I have no idea where they're structured.
	Apparently they're...
	You know, their transit is coming from China, which makes a lot of sense, but that doesn't necessarily have to be true.
	I mean, the whole beauty of the internet is if you could have a 3G connection, and they have cell phones in North Korea, you know, there could be a network set up that way.
	It could be a million different ways.
	But everyone is now just assuming...
	That this happened.
	Without any evidence whatsoever.
	So now we're just all assuming it took place.
	So now the only thing is...
	Go to ask Norse.
	Yeah.
	This isn't our internet, Elise.
	I would go ask...
	It's not our internet, Elise.
	Oh, this is Elise.
	Okay.
	Did the U.S. undertake any type of cyber operations that could have led to the North Korean internet being down?
	Now remember, this is the other woman.
	I don't have any information to share with you about it.
	So you're not saying absolutely not.
	You're not involved.
	I think I'm not going to comment on those one way or the other, and I would caution you from assuming that...
	I'm not assuming.
	I'm asking.
	Caution you.
	Sure.
	Young lady.
	Just because we're in this room doesn't mean we can all talk over each other.
	Ooh.
	Ooh.
	Ooh!
	Turning into terrible.
	Well, this is the soap opera.
	Okay, you want me to dump out of this?
	No.
	Marie should be...
	More assertive?
	No, I think she's choking or something.
	I mean, when you see the other...
	When you see...
	Saki.
	She is really good at cutting off the conversation.
	Yes.
	Let's move to something else.
	Boom.
	Done.
	Right.
	But she's also not having sex with Matt.
	Harf?
	Well, it doesn't mean if she's having sex with Matt, it doesn't mean she has to continue this conversation unless it's like a little spat.
	No.
	She should shut down the conversation if she has any, you know, I don't know.
	Oh, and this one time at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.
	It wouldn't be interrupting if she had let you finish.
	See, Matt's coming to kind of spice it up there.
	I like that you do have to turn the mic on, though.
	I like that you have to turn the mic on.
	No, what I'm saying is, look, I don't have anything new to share with you today about North Korea.
	The president has spoken to what our potential response is, separate and apart from what we've seen over the last 24 hours, might be.
	And I leave it to the North Koreans to talk about if their internet was up, if it wasn't, and why.
	We're just not going to entertain questions one way or the other about, you know...
	Any of these questions about, you know, possible U.S. responses of any kind.
	And I would caution you from assuming that because I'm not going to comment on them, that the answer means one thing or the other.
	I'm not assuming anything.
	Your question sounded like you were.
	See, this is what she doesn't do.
	She doesn't do that right.
	You said, well, you sounded like you did.
	Yeah, that's a huge mistake.
	She needs a little more training.
	No, it's not.
	It's just, you know, obviously a lot of people are assuming, and I'm not in the business of assuming.
	I'm in the business of asking you whether the U.S. was involved in this obvious shutdown of the North Korea.
	I don't think we're going to get into the business of every time something happens in a country like North Korea saying yes or no.
	Either way, I think that just sets a precedent that quite frankly is not a helpful one.
	And I just don't have more for you.
	She's not going to get Saki's job with this performance.
	She probably won't even get to hold on to Matt with this performance.
	Very poor.
	So the North Korean internet actually runs through Thailand.
	Huh.
	Through the Loxley Pacific.
	So you could probably do a little research by just calling them.
	Why does everyone...
	So here's...
	This is another thing.
	Everyone says, oh, it's all China.
	It's all China.
	No, this runs through Thailand.
	And then before that, they were running through a satellite link to Germany for their internet.
	But right now, it all goes through Star Joint Venture Company.
	Joint Venture and North Korean government post-telecommunications corporations in Thailand-based Loxley Pacific.
	There's no China involved here at all.
	Very good.
	Oh, there you go.
	Well, this is all...
	Thank you.
	With one search...
	While you're yakking and she's fumbling, I find this out very effortlessly.
	Very easy.
	No one can do this simple search.
	You could be sitting there in the State Department asking the real questions, giving Matt a run for his mouth.
	I have a connection.
	Probably blocked.
	Yeah, right.
	I did find out something else, which kind of slipped by, that this is not the only...
	The only thing that's happening with North Korea right now, apparently there is a United Nations Security Council meeting that is all about North Korea, and North Korea has said we're not attending this farce.
	Today's Security Council meeting is a historic one, I would say.
	For the first time, the situation in North Korea, the human rights situation, will be a standalone agenda item in the Security Council.
	I think it's at 3 p.m.
	today.
	This is a significant step.
	It will ensure continued Council attention to the human rights situation moving forward and demonstrates really the concern of the international community.
	I guess I'd say I'm not surprised that North Korea would seek to avoid scrutiny of, I think, what anyone would call an atrocious human rights record.
	Atrocious.
	They've been doing so for years.
	The DPRK's heightened diplomatic activity both in New York and around the globe, I think, to avoid an examination of this record is pretty telling and I think probably speaks for itself.
	But we're looking forward to the session this afternoon.
	We think it's an important step forward.
	Okay, so we need to find out what came out of that session because I'm sure they're trying to move towards You know, an international criminal court getting Kim Jong-un, which is exactly what they don't want, which is why they released the two prisoners, because they wanted to show, hey, we're really trying to move away from this image.
	This is according to our New York connection, which is pretty solid.
	Nobody's listening to them.
	They're still being used as a punching bag for the purposes of selling weaponry to South Korea.
	And the rest of the world, for that matter.
	That's right.
	And I do have more, but we'll come back later to part two!
	Will, Matt, and Marie They're talking sensibly They're sitting in the tree.
	K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Now, CNN wrote apparently that nearly all the country, without attribution, of course, nearly all the country's internet traffic is routed through China.
	It might be routed through China, but it's out of Thailand.
	But that may or may not be true because, as we can tell by today's headlines, that CNN apparently has the world's worst journalist.
	Do you mean our friend who's sitting at home with his high-on crystal meth and a dildo in his boot do a phoning in about the plane?
	No, that's funny.
	You'd think it would be him.
	He is so high.
	Have you seen Richard Quest?
	I have not seen him for months.
	Oh, my goodness.
	So this plane disappears.
	They call him.
	Oh, the expert.
	Right, the expert, exactly.
	And he's high as a kite.
	He's like, eh.
	Yeah, that guy's a party animal.
	He's still high.
	He's on the air with Skype from home.
	I can't make it in, man.
	I can't make it in.
	All right, so, yes.
	All right, well, a lot of miscues.
	Anyway, this guy has been named the world's, let's see, dubbed the worst journalist of 2014 as a CNN journalist.
	So who do you think it might be?
	Worst journalist.
	Of 2014.
	This is in a post written by the Columbia Journalism Review.
	Do I get one or two questions?
	Why he deserves, among other, yeah, don't look it up.
	No, I'm not.
	My first question, he or she, so it's a he, so I don't have to ask that question.
	On-air journalists.
	I didn't say that.
	You didn't say that.
	Oh, it's not a CNN person?
	It's just the worst journalist, period?
	No, it's a CNN person.
	That's your clue.
	Might be on the air, might not.
	I'm not saying.
	I just said it's a person that's at CNN. And you would know, I believe.
	I'm not absolutely sure about this.
	I'm pretty sure that you know who this is.
	You would know this guy's name.
	And this guy.
	No, I don't know.
	They all suck.
	Don Lemon.
	Well, of course he's on the air.
	See, that was going to be my guess.
	Away from the answer.
	That was going to be my guess.
	And then you confused me.
	I led you away from the answer.
	Why would you do that?
	This is not nice.
	I was going to guess it.
	That's why you led me away.
	You horrible man.
	Yeah, you were getting there.
	Yeah, horrible man.
	And again, you know, gaff after gaff and some of the crap.
	This is one gem.
	Lemon was discussing missing.
	Malaysia Flight 370 and decided to...
	Oh, the black hole story.
	Oh, yeah.
	I don't know.
	Six aviation experts about the preposterous possibility that the aircraft was sucked into a black hole.
	Yeah.
	We played all those clips.
	We did.
	We played a lot of them.
	And my favorite has got to be this one.
	Lied to him and said, I have an infection.
	And if you rape me, or if you do, if you have intercourse with me, then you will probably get it and give it to your wife.
	You said he made you perform oral sex.
	Right.
	You know, there are ways not to perform oral sex if you want to do it.
	I was kind of stoned at the time.
	And quite honestly, that didn't even enter my mind.
	Now, I wish it would have.
	Fascinating interviewer.
	Meaning the using of the teeth.
	Yes, that's what I'm thinking.
	Yeah, I forgot that one.
	Just tell the rape victim she should have bitten the guy's dick off.
	Okay, Levin, good work.
	Give that man a raise.
	Does he get a free pass because he's gay?
	Why have people not vilified him?
	Gay and black.
	You've got to double get out of jail free card.
	There's more to it.
	It's also Cosby.
	It's a celebrity.
	It doesn't really count if it's about a celebrity.
	It's okay.
	Before we move on...
	I think it is an appropriate time to thank you for your courage and say in the morning to you, John C. Dvorak.
	Well, in the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	And I mean that sincerely.
	I know you do.
	In the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	As he brings up the spreadsheet very slowly.
	It's all right.
	I can stretch.
	Just finish it off.
	In the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	In the morning, our ships to sea, boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, and all the dames and knights out there.
	Yes, in the morning to everybody checking us out on the stream today in the chat room, knowagendastream.com.
	Good to have you on board.
	It's highly appreciated, particularly in these darker days when no one really seems to be wanting to do much of anything.
	And thank you to our artists.
	We used Dennis Cruz's art for episode 681, the Christmas show.
	So we appreciate that.
	There were other pieces that came in, but since it was kind of pre-produced, we did what we could.
	And, of course, we also did not have donations.
	So this is really for two shows, today's donations, I presume, right?
	Yes, this is for the last two shows.
	And it would be nice if I could get this thing settled down.
	Okay.
	And I want to thank a few people for helping us out for the last two shows, even though there's actually, for the last two shows, we only have one, two, three.
	For the last two shows, we have three executive producers and two associate executive producers.
	So I can't say that people were that warmed up to our Christmas show.
	And in the right corner...
	Wearing the black trunks with gold trim.
	He has a record of 33 wins, zero losses, and one draw.
	He is the brand new of Belgium and France, Sir Steven von Pelsmacher!
	Grand Duke Pelsmacher is from the UK and France, or the Duke of those areas.
	Not the UK, Belgium, Belgium, Belgium.
	I said Belgium.
	You said UK. No, I said UK this time, but I've said Belgium in the past.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, yes, you've done it correct in the past.
	And he lives in Belgium currently, in Hosselt.
	Came in with 1225.14, which is actually 1225.14, which is Christmas.
	Huh.
	And so that was the only one who came up with that idea and the only one who came in with that number for the last two shows.
	Merry Christmas to you both and your lovely dames.
	Thanks for still producing the B-P-I-T-U. After seven years, OMG, that is amazing.
	Have a fun time with friends and family.
	All the best for wonderful and amusing 2015.
	Devoid of kale and mac and cheese.
	LGY. He wants LGY karma for the dames and knights and all the good people who will donate to the show.
	And I would like to remind everyone that the Grand Duke, Stephen Pelsmacher, has...
	The Protectorate of Belgium, France, and the Peerage map has been updated to reflect all this.
	It's looking really nice.
	itm.im slash peerage.
	Link in the show notes, of course, at 682.noagendanotes.com.
	Oh my god!
	So, have more kale, have more kale, have more kale, have more kale, have more kale, have more kale.
	You will obey.
	You slaves can get used to mac and cheese, mac and cheese, macaroni and cheddar melted together.
	Mac and cheese, mac and cheese, mac and cheese.
	Wow!
	You've got karma.
	All right.
	There we go.
	Bonus for the Duke.
	Yeah, full-on sequence.
	Mark Dytham, Baron of Tokyo.
	Hey!
	Next on our list at $333.33.
	Simply the best year so far, 2014.
	For the best podcast in the universe, you guys rock our world.
	Here's to an insane 2015 manhugs from the slave state of Singapore.
	He's in Singapore.
	He's getting drunk in Singapore.
	He's doing probably a building.
	The competition is not supposed to know.
	Well, they'll find out soon enough.
	When they start erecting it.
	He reminds me of that movie.
	He also wrote a lot of nice notes.
	He's a great guy.
	Yeah.
	I think in...
	Finkenbeiner in Seattle, Washington.
	$300.
	I wanted to do an instant donation, but I still haven't paid for overtime.
	I haven't been paid for overtime work that I did at the beginning of November.
	So here's $300 anyway, so the great podcast you and John create.
	I have a few comments regarding my use of Uber on a recent trip to Warsaw.
	I think this is worth reading.
	In Warsaw, because a lot of people like Uber.
	You're one of them.
	After listening to you talk about Uber, I decided to give it a shot when I traveled to Warsaw.
	To me, it seems a stretch to try Uber anywhere but here.
	Why?
	It works perfectly well.
	It seems like a stretch.
	I don't know.
	Stretch for what?
	For limo, stretch limo.
	Boy.
	They only have Uber Pop there.
	Have you not had sex since you've been up there?
	Because you need to release some negative energy.
	Yeah, yeah.
	The negative energy was that movie.
	Yeah.
	It's just very simple, very easy to understand.
	Okay, all right, move on.
	Although now I'm really annoyed that you like the movie.
	I didn't say I liked it.
	I said there were some funny moments.
	They only have Uber Pop there, which, as you informed me on Twitter, allows regular people, those without a taxi license, to use their personal vehicles to take fares.
	I must say that the experience was spectacular.
	Every Uber driver was kind and courteous.
	We struck up conversations with many of them and got great advice on traveling in the country.
	I decided to ask a couple of them what they thought about driving for Uber.
	One driver in particular told me he likes driving for Uber as opposed to his old gig as a regular taxi driver because the clientele aren't drunk and don't puke in my car.
	He should wait until he drives New Year's Eve.
	The thing to do is not drive New Year's Eve.
	I found this funny given that you specifically commented on Uber drivers having customers puke in their cars.
	That's the way it works in America.
	I would think so.
	England must really be something.
	Another driver told me he's bored on weekends anyways, and he says anyways, so he doesn't mind driving around and making some extra cash.
	Warsaw service has only been running since September, but it sounds like it is growing rather quickly.
	Okay, well that's an interesting sidebar.
	Since you mentioned it, I have a clip about alcohol in the UK. Hit it.
	When a good time goes wrong, drunk and out of control, but who should be picking up the pieces?
	Alcohol-fueled fun can easily turn into something far more serious.
	Abuse and violence are not uncommon.
	And it's our doctors and nurses who are often left to deal with the consequences of a night of excess.
	But with already stretched accident and emergency departments, the leader of Britain's A&E doctors says it's time the police did more to help.
	The bottom line is every minute spent dealing with somebody who is simply disorderly and creating a distraction is a minute less of nursing or medical time spent with other patients.
	Again, they may be patients suffering from alcohol intoxication who actually need our assistance.
	You've fallen over behind your head, is that right?
	So deterrence should be toughened up, drunk and disorderly people arrested, and given a criminal record if necessary.
	But this zero-tolerance approach would take up time and resources.
	This is so crazy in the UK. You don't need to give people guns to kill each other.
	They're killing themselves just by, they are drinking themselves to death.
	And the emergency rooms are overflowing with drunk, puking Brits.
	What do you think is causing this?
	Alcohol?
	No, I mean, what do you think?
	There's alcohol everywhere.
	It's their culture.
	The British used to have gin carts in the streets.
	It is their culture, but it's...
	I mean, Michelle, my...
	In fact, the whole Garth has a number of drawings of the drunks in England back in the 1500s, 1600s, I think, or 1700s.
	And, of course, it's gray, it's dark, it's depressing, the shitty food.
	I mean, I can go on and on.
	You've got a lizard running the country.
	Yeah, the lizard is probably depressing.
	And then what they do, as I know from my friend Michelle the Gangster, who owns some of these clubs, they compete on price, and it's a pound for a pint.
	Which is a good deal.
	And people are just hammering it down.
	30 seconds left.
	Both in short supply.
	It's quite frankly nonsense.
	It's oversimplistic when we're talking about misuse of drugs and alcohol.
	To just say, actually, let's just haul them up in front of the court.
	What this is really about is it's about a lack of resources in the public service as a whole.
	There's lack of resources in the police service.
	There's lack of resources in the ambulance service.
	There's lack of resources in the NHS and primary care.
	That's the issue that needs to be addressed.
	More money.
	Give us more money.
	How about solving the problem with your people, dude?
	Anyway, there you go.
	So I don't think Uber Pop is so great in London.
	Probably really crap.
	Well, I've said it before.
	I'll say it again.
	I'll predict it now.
	That Uber is doomed.
	Mainly because the local powers that be were going to finally put a stop to it.
	Although, listening to this note, I will say that now I'm a little more amenable to the idea of going with being, say, in Poland or anywhere and getting an Uber and then asking the guy, what would you like to show me around?
	Well, how much money do you want?
	I'll give you, you know, whatever it is that would be fair.
	So this is, they really, of course, they're not supposed to do that.
	In Austin, I know, they have done stings on the Uber drivers to say, hey, man, you know, how about if I just give you 40 bucks cash, you know?
	And if they accept it, then, you know, then they get arrested.
	So I can't, you know, with a taxi, you can actually ask him in most parts of the world to give you a little tour.
	Or, like in China, for example, they give you a tour whether you want it or not.
	Because it's just the way they take you there.
	Anyway, okay.
	Sorry.
	Onward.
	By the way, Kirk Ann.
	It's not Ann Kirk, it's Kirk Ann in Genesio, New York.
	23456?
	Yeah.
	Yes, he's going to be a knight.
	For this donation, it should put me over to become a knight.
	Please call me Sir Kirk of the Happy Valley.
	I've been a boner, missing the opportunities of shows 666 and 678.
	However, I could not let the year end without a little holiday cheer.
	Don't forget the Magic 700 Club is coming up, and everyone should rise up and join Pat Robertson in donating to the best podcast in the universe.
	May everyone's new year be better than this one.
	That's great.
	All right, Kirk, I look forward to your ceremony later on in today's program.
	And finally, I can't find a note from her.
	Claudia Gerber in Lisbon, Ohio, $200.
	And I've looked and looked and looked, and I can't find anything.
	Let me check.
	Maybe I'll find something.
	Claudia Gerber.
	Let's just get another email address that I can't find.
	No, I can't seem to find her either.
	So she's silent, Claudia.
	But she's from Lisbon, Ohio.
	We have other people in Lisbon, Ohio, don't we?
	Yeah, go knock on her door.
	Find out what's going on.
	Okay, well, it's always good to see our peerage step in to pick up some of the slack.
	Sir Mark Dithen, Baron of Tokyo.
	Grand Duke Sir Stephen Pelsmockers.
	And, of course, Eric and Kirk and Claudia, thank you very much for supporting the program.
	These credits are real.
	This associate...
	Executive producer, and of course the executive producers, you can use these wherever credits are accepted, and unlike the phonies in Hollywood, we'll be very happy to vouch for you.
	And please remember, we're doing this show on Thursday, which will be New Year's Day.
	And I want to remind people that we do have email, or not email, but actual postal mail that has backed up since I've been traveling.
	Okay.
	And you're up in Port Angeles now, right?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	You sound great.
	Good.
	Thanks.
	And of course, we always want you to be out there doing the very fine work of propagating our formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Water! Order!
	Shut up, slay!
	Shut up, slave!
	A couple of interesting things happened around Christmas.
	While we were all very distracted about, can I get it on Netflix?
	Is that on Netflix?
	Can I get it on Netflix?
	All everyone was talking about, hey Matt, can I watch a movie on Netflix?
	Can I get it on Netflix?
	Can I get it on Netflix?
	We had two things take place.
	Let me start at home first.
	The NSA released what I would call their little Christmas Eve surprise.
	They released 12 years of internal oversight reports documenting abusive and improper practices by agency employees.
	This would be, you know, all the stuff where they say, oh, man, I accidentally trapped some information about an American, and that was all wrong.
	Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
	Here's the problem.
	This thing is so heavily redacted, they removed the number that tells us how many times this has happened.
	What good is that?
	How many times has this actually happened?
	Well, we can't know because that has been redacted out of the report.
	Of course, I've read this report for you.
	Why would that number be redacted?
	What's the importance of that number that's a threat to national security?
	I can't answer that because these questions have not yet been asked, or at least they have not been published if these questions have been asked.
	I have not seen this.
	I have not seen anywhere why.
	Now, these were released in response to a FOIA request submitted by the ACLU, which is the American Civil Liberties Union.
	It has, you know, there's some funny stuff in there, which the press is reporting on, of course.
	I mean, why actually go, yeah.
	Woo!
	One instance, and here's the press reports.
	In one instance, an NSA employee searched her spouse's personal telephone directory without his knowledge to obtain names and numbers for targeting, a practice which previous reports have indicated was common enough to warrant the name Love Int.
	You know, we have Human Int and SIG Int, Love Int.
	What is surprising, again, really there's nothing in here...
	Of any value.
	Yeah, okay, so we know that stuff happens, and it is, of course, embarrassing.
	But here, I have the report here.
	There were redacted of incidents involving the use of improper retrieval strategies against redacted raw traffic files this quarter.
	What good is that?
	On redacted occasions during the fourth quarter, analysts performed overly broad or poorly constructed database queries that potentially selected or returned information about United States persons.
	These queries used redacted that produced imprecise results.
	On redacted of those occasions, the queries returned results which were deleted or aged off.
	I mean, this is useless.
	It's useless.
	And I don't understand why we...
	It must be either the number...
	It must be so high, this number.
	That it's just embarrassing and then figured we're just not going to release that and we'll fight it, I guess.
	Well, the reason for redaction is to protect national security.
	Yeah, that would be the answer.
	Or individuals' personal rights.
	You want to take names of agents out there.
	Give it a number, just a number of times.
	You have to come up with some rationale to say that we have to redact this number because of security reasons.
	We are so...
	The number is so high that if this number came out, our enemies, who want to kill us, would know that we suck.
	Therefore, national security problem.
	What do you think?
	Well, the number could be so low.
	Let's assume that...
	Let's look on the bright side here.
	Hello.
	Where's John?
	What have you done with the real John C. DeLore?
	Let's look on the bright side.
	It could be like...
	The number could be one or two.
	And we can't let that number out.
	Well, if you look at the...
	Because it'll frighten someone.
	If you look at the document...
	The black stripe is longer than just a 1 or a 2.
	Oh.
	I'm thinking...
	Is it a 1?
	So you can estimate the number of digits.
	I'm seeing 5 digits is what I think.
	Which I think would be...
	I don't know if that's high or not.
	What?
	If it's 20,000.
	Did some spying on their mates 5,000 times.
	You don't think that's a high number?
	Yeah, I do.
	Look, I'm just playing the game with you.
	I don't know why.
	20,000?
	Is it possible to be six digits?
	No, I think it's probably in the 30, 20, 30,000s.
	That's what I think it is.
	30,000?
	Oh, jeez.
	That's what I think.
	Well, that might be.
	That would make sense.
	I would redact that.
	I'd redact all numbers over 10,000.
	You're hired.
	I hear there's an opening.
	There's always an opening.
	Here's something that they didn't redact, but I find interesting.
	Yeah.
	And I can see this happening.
	If you're doing this all day long and you're filling in numbers, let me check this guy's phone number, this guy's phone number.
	An amazing amount of times, agents entered their own phone number, which is reported in the report as a mistake.
	No.
	In one unintentionally...
	That's not a mistake.
	An NSA analyst is said to have targeted his personal cell phone because he mistakenly thought it would be acceptable to redacted.
	What?
	Yeah.
	The guy targeted his personal cell phone because he mistakenly thought, this is a quote, it would be acceptable to, and I guess there's a name, redacted.
	Or maybe an agency.
	It's acceptable to redacted.
	Yeah.
	So in other words, he thought it was acceptable, and we don't know why it was acceptable?
	Is that what it's redacted?
	Yeah, I guess.
	Behavior?
	Maybe the word was behavior.
	Could be.
	It's acceptable behavior.
	It says acceptable to.
	Acceptable to the boss.
	Yeah, it could be the boss.
	It could be a different agency.
	It could be the North Koreans.
	Or the agency that was acceptable to the NSA. It could be.
	I personally, from that perspective, I think it should be acceptable.
	If I'm working there, I should be able to look at my own number.
	Well, that is not policy.
	Why?
	Oh, God, John, I don't know.
	It's bad policy, then.
	I think you should be able to look up your own numbers.
	It's like a vanity search.
	Don't you want to put your name in Google and say, oh, I didn't know this was going on.
	Hey, hold on a second.
	Who knew?
	I didn't know this was happening.
	Yeah.
	I'm all good with that.
	Yeah.
	Well, let's move along then, which I think is more important.
	I want to run a couple names by you.
	Now, this goes back to the National Cooperative Research and Production Act of 1993.
	And this means that if you are involved in...
	If the federal government asks you to participate in certain types of activities, in this case, the Consortium for Homeland Security Technology, then you can get all kinds of benefits, like payment in 30 days, but also indemnification.
	And so this came out, this is from the President.
	I'm sorry, this is in, this is from Patricia A. Brink, Director of Civil Enforcement Antitrust Division, but she does say very specifically, notices hereby given...
	Pursuant to Section 6A of the National Cooperative Research and Production Act of 1993, Consortium for Homeland Security Technology has filed written notifications simultaneously with the Attorney General and the Federal Trade Commission disclosing the identities of the parties to the venture and the nature and objectives of the venture.
	The notifications were filed for the purpose of invoking the Act's provisions, limiting the recovery of antitrust plaintiffs to actual damages under specified circumstances.
	A groovy position, I would say.
	So let's take a look at what this thing is doing.
	You're interested, right?
	Oh!
	Is that a yes?
	I'm always interested in this crap.
	The general area of consortium's planned activity is to A. Enter into an other transaction agreement, known as an OT agreement, with the U.S. government for the funding of certain research, development, testing, and evaluation of prototypes to be conducted as a collaboration between the government and the consortium members.
	This is what we call a private-public partnership.
	Cyber-sharing.
	To enhance the capabilities of the government and its departments and agencies in the fields of...
	There we go.
	Border and maritime security.
	Chemical and biological defense.
	Cyber security.
	Explosives countermeasures.
	First response.
	And resilient systems.
	So if somebody makes a germ warfare bomb and it takes out half of St.
	Louis, they're good to go.
	If they were doing it as a part of the consortium, yes.
	Yeah, that's what I mean.
	Now tell me if you know any of these companies.
	I didn't recognize a single one.
	Well, okay.
	But I know that we have a reasonable reach, and there will be producers who probably even work at some of these companies.
	So we want to hear what you guys are up to.
	Here we go.
	The parties are, for the Consortium of Homeland Security Technology, in Washington, D.C., Chesapeake Cartridge Corporation, Okay, they probably make bullets.
	Yes, they're in Blacksburg, Virginia.
	DNS Consultants, Inc.
	Already starts to sound like a bunch of Obama packagers that got him a lot of money and now they seem to know they got a contract.
	How about these guys?
	InteropTech.
	I may have heard of them.
	Hold on, let me look them up.
	Inter-Optech with Tango Echo Kilo at the end.
	Inter-Optech.
	It's a tech company, I guess.
	Inter-Optech.
	It's T-E-C-K. No, T-E-K. Inter-Optech.
	Inter-Optech, Inc.
	Huntsville, Alabama.
	No, Huntsville, yeah.
	Oh, no, I'm sorry.
	Inter-Optech is in New Jersey.
	Then from Huntsville, Alabama, we have the Tech University of Ruston, Louisiana.
	So the whole university is now indemnified.
	Tech University?
	Louisiana Tech University.
	In Huntsville, Alabama?
	Ruston, Louisiana.
	Oh, who's in Huntsville?
	Wait a minute, hold on.
	Am I reading this?
	I may be reading it wrong.
	No.
	Yeah, Louisiana Tech University, Ruston, Louisiana.
	Well, you said Huntsville.
	I'm sorry.
	It's written so poorly in the register, I think I'm reading it wrong.
	So InteropTech is in New Jersey.
	Yes, here you go.
	Louisiana is, the Louisiana Tech University is in Huntsville.
	I'm sorry.
	Ruston, Louisiana is the OG Systems.
	Okay, well, Louisiana Tech is a well-known university, so they would have an outpost, probably.
	And they're good to go.
	We have OG Systems.
	We have Protonex Technology Corporations.
	Strategic Support Group.
	Here's one in Coronado, California, which is military.
	R.E.K. Associates.
	These are all LLCs, by the way.
	Easy to hide and get rid of.
	R3 Strategic Group Inc.
	South Riding.
	What is this?
	RMCU LLC. Shoulder to Shoulder Inc.
	Sounds like a porn outfit.
	Shoulder to Shoulder Inc.
	What do you think those guys do?
	I think it's a dating site.
	No, here it is.
	Shoulder to Shoulder.
	Delivering solutions for our troops today and tomorrow.
	Mission.
	Dedicated to providing innovative IT and multimedia solutions that enhance individual well-being and organized performance.
	Well, shit.
	No Agenda podcast does that.
	You should go to OG Systems and then play the video.
	Okay.
	This is going to be fun.
	I'm looking at this shoulder-to-shoulder.
	Our solutions.
	App development.
	They're app developers.
	Are you kidding me?
	Was it OG Solutions?
	Yeah.
	Oh, OG Systems.
	And they're like in Virginia, of course.
	OG Systems, yeah.
	Cyber threat analysis, intelligence analysis, and data exploitation, agile software engineering, geospatial systems, and integration.
	Do they have a video?
	Oh, with the CEO, no less.
	All right.
	Yes, that's what I'm saying.
	Hey, everybody.
	This is the snappy music from OG Systems.
	I'm the CEO, Dan Bildo.
	Tech Chilly TV. Oh my god.
	This guy, he looks like...
	Oh my god, you gotta watch this guy.
	I can't watch it.
	There's no mute button on this video, so I have to listen to it.
	Otherwise it just bleeds through.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, he looks like he just took a shower.
	He looks like a grungy Mark Cuban.
	Thank you, St.
	in the West.
	Crushed it.
	I don't want anyone indemnified from killing people talking about how his team crushed it.
	Sounds like a bunch of kids just out of college.
	This is great.
	And they're indemnified.
	Oh, hackathon.
	They did a hackathon.
	Got it.
	Talent.
	The cyber threat company.
	This is bullcrap.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Our government at work.
	Yeah.
	I mean, our government's throwing money away like this.
	Meanwhile, we have this kind of anomaly.
	Play this clip.
	Amateur driving van.
	Fresh embarrassment this morning, meanwhile, for the Secret Service.
	And this comes after a very, very rough year.
	It has come to light that the agency has been using untrained volunteers to drive some of the vehicles in the presidential motorcade.
	Turns out this has been happening for a very long time.
	It's an Uber driver.
	I'm an ABC's Jim Avala with the president.
	We have Uber Presidential, our new service.
	Honolulu, Hawaii has the very latest.
	Dan and Paula, you'd think the middle of a presidential motorcade would be no place for amateurs.
	But right there, among the Secret Service and the police, just yards from the president, is an untrained volunteer.
	The president on the way back from his morning workout in Hawaii.
	His SUV buried in the middle of as many as 20 imposing Secret Service black cars and local police escorts.
	Also, in the middle of the pack, a few cars back from the president himself rolls the lowly White House press corps van, driven by, well, just about anyone.
	I'm telling you, they should have Uber presidential.
	Yeah.
	What a great idea.
	I think Uber should jump on that immediately.
	Hey, do you have a governmental motorcade and you're short a driver?
	The one picture they showed, apparently this has been going on for a while, they have this, and one of the women who was busted for this, she said, well, I'm a friend of mine, I know a friend that works at the White House, and she asked me if I wanted to do it.
	This is how casual it was.
	And they showed a picture of one of these press vans, I swear to God it was a paddy wagon.
	And I guess you get the press guys in there blocked in the back.
	That's funny.
	Because there was too many of them for just a regular Escalade.
	It's ridiculous.
	So they don't pay these people.
	They're volunteers.
	And we're throwing money away left and right.
	I mean, I'm not seeing...
	A lot of this makes no sense.
	You're connected the right way.
	You get a bunch of free money.
	And you get indemnified of all things.
	I'm sure this woman's not even indemnified if she flips the van and kills a couple reporters.
	Here's what I don't understand.
	How stupid are you and I? This is...
	We could have our future set...
	We can do what these dickheads do.
	Put up a website and we do a hackathon.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Anyone can, actually.
	But you need the connections.
	You need the political connections.
	There's no doubt in my mind there's political connections.
	If you start digging into these companies, there'll be some guy who's responsible for these deals.
	There's tons of companies in Silicon Valley that can do these things.
	But they're not all connected the right way.
	I mean, that's why they have some of the...
	Venture capital firms always have some political guy amongst the partners.
	Of course.
	I mean, Colin Powell is at Kleiner Perkins.
	Kleiner Perkins, yeah.
	Gore Vidal is at Gore Vidal.
	Gore Al Gore, Gore Vidal.
	Gore Al?
	Gore Vidal's corpse is at Kleiner Perkins.
	Al Gore, anyways.
	Stuff like that, yeah.
	Did you say anyways?
	No, I said anyway.
	I did not say anyways.
	It must be my ears.
	Well, anyways then, on Christmas, while this is going on, Vladimir Putin also released a little document of his own, which is the military doctrine of the Russian Federation.
	And guess what?
	They've indemnified OG systems.
	I've read through it and I've marked up some pertinent bits as I have a translation meant for, which is an approved release, an English version, of the military doctrine of the Russian Federation.
	Are you interested in hearing some of this?
	I'm not sure, because it might be interesting.
	Let me give it a try.
	I'll just skip around a bit.
	The legal basis for the military doctrine consists of...
	I would ask the question initially, why is there such a document?
	It is very similar to...
	If you look at our National Defense Authorization Act, which is folded into the omnibus spending bill, it kind of shows what we're going to do and what our plan is for the next couple of years.
	Okay, I'll take your word for it.
	Go, Reid.
	The Constitution of the Russian Federation generally recognized principles of international law and international treaties of the Russian Federation in the field of defense, arms control, And disarmament, the federal constitutional laws, federal laws and legal acts, president of the Russian Federation, the government of the Russian Federation.
	This is what constitutes the military doctrine.
	So this is the strategy and the tactics of Russia, which is until the year 2020.
	So that's what this is, which includes the strategy for development of the Arctic zone, So this is telegraphing is what this is.
	Hello!
	Who thinks they own the North Pole and the Arctic Zone?
	Yeah, Denmark?
	No.
	America?
	No.
	Finland?
	No.
	It's going to be us.
	I think they have a claim to at least half of it.
	Sure they do.
	The military doctrine reflects the commitment of the Russian Federation to use to protect national interests, country, and the interests of its allies' military action only after exhaustion of opportunities and applications such as political, diplomatic, legal, economic information, other instruments of non-violent nature.
	So the kind of setting up saying, you know, we don't really resort to this military doctrine unless we've exhausted all other areas.
	And then they have the following basic concepts of the doctrine, where they look at something could be a military threat, which would be domestic relations characterized as a set of factors that could under certain conditions lead to a military threat.
	They have military conflict, armed conflict, local war, regional war, large scale war, military policy, military organization, planning, readiness, and system non-nuclear containment complex of foreign policy as a foreign policy. and system non-nuclear containment complex of foreign policy as a And they now discuss the dangers that could possibly evoke the military doctrine.
	And I'm just skipping past the whole bunch.
	The main external military dangers are a capacity power potential organization such as the North Atlantic Treaty Organization and giving it global functions carried out in violation of international law.
	The approach of military infrastructure countries, members of NATO to the borders of the Russian Federation, including through further expansion of the bloc to destabilize these countries.
	So they're pretty much saying NATO is on our borders.
	They are destabilizing countries that are not NATO members, and therefore we can evoke the...
	We can do some about it.
	Yeah.
	Here's one that I find interesting.
	They see as a threat to evoke the military doctrine, the creation and deployment strategic systems missile defense, which is, you know, the missiles we had in Poland.
	Anti-ballistic missile system.
	Undermining global stability and violate the balance of forces in nuclear missile sphere, including implementation of the concept of global shot, quotation marks.
	Are you familiar with global shot?
	It's where you have a whiskey every time somebody says the word...
	This is going to be a show title.
	Global Shot.
	The Intent to Place Weapons in Space.
	See, that's what I always say.
	If you really want to do it right, you get your thing up in space so you can shoot anybody from space at any time.
	And it's called the Global Shot.
	The use of military force in the territories contiguous with the Russian Federation and its allies violate the Charter of the United Nations and other rules of international law according to this document by the President of Russia.
	Here is the use of information and communication technologies in military political purposes for acts contrary to international law aimed versus sovereignty, political independence, territorial integrity of states, and threatening international peace, security, global and regional stability.
	So they're saying your propaganda is a problem for us.
	And here's the nature and characteristics of modern warfare conflict.
	As Vladimir Putin sees it, integrated use of military force, political, economic, informational, and other non-military measures nature, implemented with the extensive use of the protest potential of the population and special operations forces.
	Pretty much what happened in Ukraine.
	Military technology, precision, hypersonic weapons, their means, electronic warfare, weapons based on new physical principles, which were flying saucers, comparable in efficiency with nuclear weapons, management information systems and unmanned aircraft and autonomous marine vehicles, controlled management information systems and unmanned aircraft and autonomous marine vehicles, controlled robotic weapons and military So what they're saying is we need to kind of go and do the same thing.
	And what Putin says in this document is we spend $50 billion on our military-industrial complex.
	America just spent $567 billion.
	We need to man up.
	And then he talks specifically in this document...
	He can't afford to man up.
	No.
	But, you know, he'll bankrupt this country.
	We can't hit it, but we have the opportunity to take it out.
	To print the money.
	We print the money.
	Yeah, we print the money, and that's the cool thing about it.
	That's what's so cool about it.
	It's cool.
	Being $70 or $80 trillion in debt.
	Hey, you know what's cool?
	Printing money.
	If you want to spend $50 billion and think it's a big deal, we'll spend a trillion.
	Printing money, without a doubt, is cool shit.
	Yeah.
	It's doable.
	Yes.
	All right, so we can do it without causing hyperinflation and all these things.
	No, we're great.
	We're eating mac and cheese.
	So, the President says he wants to expand the range of partners in development cooperation with them on the basis of common interest in the fields of strengthening international security in accordance with the provisions of the UN Charter.
	And they are going to do that as the Russian Federation expansion interaction with the state's members of the BRICS, which would be Brazil.
	It says BRICS right here.
	Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa.
	Strengthening the collective security system in the framework collective security treaty organization, which I've not heard yet, the CSTO, but it goes along with the Shanghai Cooperation Organization, which is also going to be strengthened as a part of the military doctrine of Russia.
	And just scroll down to the bottom.
	Good luck with this.
	And then it says he wants to develop a military industrial complex.
	It says right here.
	Development.
	They already have to want to develop.
	Hey, buddy, it's a bad idea.
	He said, well, he hasn't learned development of the military industrial complex.
	The main task of the military industrial complex is security.
	It's effective functioning as a high tech multi-sector of the economy, able to meet the needs of armed forces and other troops and bodies in the modern armament military and special equipment.
	And provide strategic presence of the Russian Federation in the world's markets with for high tech products and services.
	Now, you can say you're going to kill people, you're going to take out NATO states, but, bitch, if you think you're going to try and weasel in on our sales, now you've got a problem.
	Well, they've always done well against us selling.
	They're not weaseling in.
	They're a competitor.
	The Europeans are, too.
	I think this is about something else than just simple sales.
	I mean, they sell to India.
	The Indians are never warmed up to our gear.
	Ever.
	That's why they have terrorism.
	Come on.
	We even predicted this.
	That may be true.
	Yes, this is predicted.
	This is nothing.
	It's just predicted.
	Jeez.
	Just predicted.
	And by the way, the advantage we have over the Russian gear is that ours is field-tested.
	We have a lot of field-tested gear that we can show a client that it works.
	So I was surfing the channels.
	We have movies.
	That's right.
	And we're not afraid to watch them.
	That's right.
	I saw on TV, and I only watched for a little bit, but it caught my eye, the Bitcoin Bowl?
	No.
	Yes.
	There was a football game in Florida.
	Yeah, right.
	There's a bunch of screwball games.
	The Bitcoin Bowl.
	What pays for the Bitcoin Bowl?
	I don't know.
	And then they have on the field, it was BitPay, which is one of those conversion guys.
	Oh, okay.
	That's the guys who sponsored the bowl then.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You know, those things cost millions of dollars to sponsor.
	Yeah, this is obvious dot-com bubble explosion time.
	I mean, I expected the sock puppet, the pets.com to pop out.
	You know, I have one of those.
	I'm sure you do.
	Somewhere.
	I should have bought more than one.
	Apparently more than 100 St.
	Petersburg businesses will be accepting Bitcoin as payment.
	Actually, this month.
	So it's just started because of the bull.
	I don't know.
	A couple of people asked me about exchange-traded funds regarding the Russian economy that we talk about on the DHM Plug show.
	I should just tell you that the RSX is the one you want to look at and see what's what.
	It's dropped from 30 to 15.
	As the Russian ruble has gone depressed and is oversold right now, it's a very interesting possibility for people who know how to play these things.
	I've been reading...
	I'm not giving any marketing advice whatsoever.
	I'm just mentioning the specific symbol.
	I've been reading through as many documents as possible trying to understand the oil price dropping.
	And I came across one theory, which I think came via William Engdahl, who's a professor.
	I have a theory.
	It was overpriced all along, but go on.
	Well, so what we look at is the September 11th, 2014 visit of John Kerry to Saudi Arabia.
	And this is being heralded as the moment when he said, hey, remember last time we screwed everybody?
	Which was, what was that?
	80...
	86, maybe?
	It was somewhere in the mid-80s.
	Yeah, I think it was 86.
	We really dropped it to 20 or something.
	And that's when we bankrupted Russia.
	The first time.
	Right.
	So there's a lot of people saying, but I can't give the guy that much credit.
	Lurch.
	But okay, so maybe he did.
	Another theory I heard, which of course OPEC and the Saudis have said, we're not going to reduce our output production.
	I believe if you look at how many, what they do, like 1.9 million barrels a day.
	I'm just making this up.
	I think it's maybe 2.9.
	But the demand is 1.6.
	So they know they're overproducing, which, yeah, that should affect price somewhere.
	I don't know if it affects it to this level.
	But what I heard...
	Some American companies went in, showed the Saudis how to do saltwater fracking in some of their older wells, which is apparently a very dangerous procedure because you have to kind of keep it moving.
	You can't stop it once the pressure is so high, which means you have to keep pumping oil.
	And...
	So the story I heard is that they got duped.
	They duped the Saudis into doing the saltwater fracking, and now they literally can't stop the flow of oil from these older wells, from these fracking wells, because they could blow it up.
	How does that sound to you?
	Sounds far-fetched.
	I got three stories on this.
	I like it, though.
	I like it as an idea.
	I thought it was interesting.
	I don't believe it.
	These guys, it's not as though you've got a bunch of...
	That story assumes the dumb Arab in the formula.
	They've got no petroleum engineers.
	They don't know what the hell they're doing.
	It's a miracle they can pump a barrel.
	I just don't think so.
	I can just see it.
	Hey!
	Hey, you stupid Arab!
	Hey!
	You like my new Rolls Royce?
	Yeah, keep that oil pumping from your saltwater fracking, son.
	Yeah, I like it too.
	I'll keep my eye on it.
	I think it's funny.
	Meanwhile, China has stepped in to try and...
	We'll take all the oil you can pump.
	Well, but they're also apparently trying to become the world's new bank.
	This is Bloomberg, I think, that wrote it.
	Yeah, this is an issue.
	This is a problem with us.
	Yeah.
	Thanks to China, Fifi Lagarde of the IMF, Jim Yong Kim of the World Bank, and Takiko Nakhao of the Asian Development Bank may no longer have meaningful work to do.
	Beijing's move to bail out Russia...
	On top of it, which is they did through a currency swap, I believe, which is a great way.
	That's what derivatives are, is the simplest form to swap out.
	So you kind of limit your exposure.
	Some of the upside as well, but you certainly limit your exposure and your risk on the downside if it comes to currencies.
	My God, it sounds like I know what I'm talking about.
	And they are aiding Venezuela, Argentina.
	And, yeah, this is potentially going to be a real problem.
	Well, you know, we already sent him a message with those Hong Kong riots.
	He said, you know, you don't have these in your country yet, but...
	Here's an umbrella.
	Yeah, here's an umbrella for a gift.
	Do you like this umbrella?
	Yeah.
	Pay attention.
	So the other thing would be the message.
	So you guys aren't doing well enough.
	Your productivity and all the rest of it, all the numbers and the economic boom is not good enough for you.
	And so you're going to screw with the system that has made you one of the richest countries and one of the biggest economies in the world, if not the biggest.
	Right.
	So that's what you're going to do because you're not doing well enough.
	Okay.
	That's the message you're telling us when you say this to me.
	And you think that works with the Chiners?
	You think they get all like, well, yeah, I'll show you.
	No?
	I think we can send messages to them.
	They know where the red's about it.
	They can't go along with Russia.
	I mean, I can see Russia.
	They don't care.
	But the Chinese, they, I think, would bail out on this BRICS thing in a second if they really had to.
	Well, to me it seems like it's an alternative to the 2010 reforms, the IMF reforms, which we will not ratify, which is what would allow China to be the number two spot in the pecking order of the IMF. So they have to do something, I presume, and it's interesting.
	Well, we're not putting up with a new reserve currency actually getting a foothold.
	We put up with maybe a little bit of action for the euro.
	I mean, I guess they have 10 or 20% of the international trade agreements in euros.
	But, no.
	Otherwise, we can't print money.
	We'd be screwed.
	Well, along with this comes, and of course, I brought this news to you.
	And by the way, we should mention to the Chinese that if we get screwed...
	The whole world's economy collapses and they're screwed, too.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, of course.
	It's like we're like a guy with a bomb vest holding the button down.
	We're not going to buy no more iPhones.
	But boy, no, we won't.
	This is what the Chinese secretly know.
	You American Yankees, you're not going to stop buying our iPhones?
	If we go completely bankrupt, if we have to actually pay off that $75 trillion or whatever, that's not going to happen.
	It would happen if we can't print money anymore.
	How are we doing?
	Did you check?
	We're doing fine with printing.
	We're eating mac and cheese.
	We're doing fine.
	We're doing fine now, but these guys keep maneuvering.
	Meanwhile, the Nicaraguan Canal is real.
	You were somewhat skeptical when I started talking about this months ago.
	I wasn't skeptical that they were...
	What was I skeptical about?
	That it was going to happen at all.
	No, no.
	I always knew they were going to try to do something.
	I just don't think it's going to happen in terms of finishing it.
	We have our producer on the ground, Colin.
	Hey guys!
	In the morning, here from Nicaragua, the info on the canal.
	Looks like it's moving on.
	They did a big groundbreaking on Monday.
	And he sent us a couple of links.
	So they dug a hole.
	They told the foreign press they would be picked up from the hotel to come to the groundbreaking.
	But not only did the bus never come to pick up the press, they held the event five hours early.
	Because they didn't want any protests.
	They didn't want any protests.
	Mr.
	Wang, the developer, made some statements about how the land will be taken from Nicaraguans, but paid based upon market principles.
	This is the eminent domain concept.
	This is good.
	I was right.
	Yeah.
	Local protests were few, but...
	But had some bloodshed, apparently?
	Not much.
	Just some cuts and bruises.
	Environmental studies, land assessments, engineering plans are scheduled to be completed or brushed aside by mid-2015, at which point construction is scheduled to begin.
	This canal will be a game-changer in world trade, says Mr.
	Wang.
	Other interesting aspects of the canal include Lake Nicaragua, which will change from freshwater to saltwater.
	Holy crap.
	Well, that kills all the fish.
	Wow.
	That's no good.
	So much for the Stargate.
	That's an environmental disaster.
	This will never get that far.
	The canal will include...
	Well, hold on.
	You say that, but I wouldn't be too quick when you know the canal will include a golf course resort.
	For the elites?
	A Jack Nicklaus-designed course and three other resorts along its path.
	Oh, so you can play golf while watching giant ships go through this thing.
	Yeah, while watching your goods.
	Belching carbon out of them stacks.
	Oh, okay.
	Thank you for bringing that up.
	You reminded me of something.
	All right.
	You remember the president's science advisor.
	John P. Holdren.
	He is the guy.
	He is the guy who advises our president on all things science, in particular, climate change.
	And if you recall, Mr.
	Holdren, back in the 70s, was on the side of global cooling.
	Right, that guy.
	That guy.
	Now, of course, he's on the side of global warming, as one does.
	That's why we don't call it global warming anymore.
	We just change that to climate change.
	And you remember he did this hashtag AskDrH?
	Yeah, I mocked it.
	I said, really?
	And we read a couple of the fake responses, people saying, like, hey, how come you're all in on global cooling and now it's global warming?
	Answer that, Dr.
	H. So now they've taken...
	I don't know if they hid all the offensive ones from him and just said, oh, we printed some out.
	Here, could you answer these?
	And let me ask you.
	If...
	People, what we exhale is carbon dioxide, CO2. It's a mixture.
	It's mostly nitrogen.
	Okay.
	But it's...
	You breathe in, you know, what, 20% oxygen, some carbon dioxide, and it's like 70% plus nitrogen.
	So we're breathing in nitrogen, we're exhaling nitrogen.
	So no matter what, if we're alive on this planet, there's got to be some carbon dioxide.
	Well, there's no carbon dioxide.
	There's no plant life.
	Robert Heston asked via Facebook, Do you know the amount and rate of reduction in carbon emissions the world would have to achieve in order to prevent an unstoppable process of methane release from the Arctic areas?
	Well, I'm so glad you asked me there on Facebook.
	Arctic permafrost contains huge quantities of stored carbon, some of which would be released to the atmosphere as carbon dioxide and methane if the permafrost thawed as a result of global warming.
	Similarly, there are large stores of methane frozen into ice crystals under the Arctic Ocean, some of which could also be released if enough warming occurred.
	Release of any significant fraction of these carbon stocks would speed up the pace of global warming in what scientists call a positive feedback, which is a bad thing despite the positive label.
	No one knows for sure how much warming would be enough to produce this result, but it's thought to be considerably less likely to happen if the ultimate warming is less than 2 degrees Celsius, that is 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit, above the pre-industrial value than if the ultimate warming is greater than that.
	That is one of the reasons why the nations that are party to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change have embraced a global goal of keeping the increase below 2 degrees Celsius.
	And here it comes!
	To have a better than even chance of meeting that goal would require global emissions of carbon dioxide to be about 50% below their 2005 value by 2050 and close to zero by 2100.
	That will not be easy.
	But with appropriate leadership from the United States, China, and the other big emitters, it can be done.
	So, zero.
	Just zero.
	Yeah, zero.
	So are we dead?
	By the way, they mean emissions.
	They don't say that the natural carbon dioxide is natural carbon dioxide.
	It's going to stay there.
	Oh, okay.
	So we have 78% nitrogen, 21% oxygen in the atmosphere currently.
	It used to be up as high as 25% during the dinosaur era.
	That's why everything's so big, I think.
	Whatever the case, yeah, they just mean no emissions, man-made emissions on top of what's natural.
	Yeah.
	Well, meanwhile, have you looked at Europe?
	It's bullcrap, by the way.
	Of course it's bullcrap.
	Have you looked at Europe?
	Have you seen what's going on in Europe?
	Remember these poor...
	Fights in shopping malls?
	No, no.
	We got the fights in shopping malls.
	The poor children.
	The poor, poor children.
	Who would never see...
	By the way, I want to interrupt for a second.
	I do want to do a clarification before it goes too far along.
	I do have the numbers on OPEC. Daily production, total OPEC, which is everybody, except, you know, is Canada in there?
	Canada doesn't seem to be in there, so that would be more than this.
	31.6 million barrels a day.
	And what is demand?
	Well, the demand is...
	I don't have the demand numbers.
	I can look those up, too.
	But it seems as if that everyone wants everyone to cut a million here and a million there, but it's not going to happen.
	And this is actually down from...
	Yeah, I'm sure it is.
	2008 was 32 million.
	It went way down in 2009, which is when things started to spike up.
	Oh, let's cut production and make gas prices go up during Obama's administration.
	Anyway...
	Well, the poor children of Europe, as you know, John, was now 11 years ago, I believe.
	The only place they would see snow would be in a snow globe.
	Oh, you would never see snow again, they said.
	Children would only know snow from the movies and from snow globes.
	Traffic has remained heavy in the French Alps after a night which saw 15,000 people stranded by snow and forced to seek emergency shelter.
	Thank you.
	Many cars weren't equipped with snow chains despite official warnings.
	The authorities have since declared them compulsory on certain routes.
	One young man died when his car left the main road and fell 200 metres down a mountainside.
	More than 80 emergency shelters were crammed full overnight.
	The authorities said they had no idea how many people had spent the night in their cars.
	This volunteer says it's been more than 10 years since we've triggered an emergency plan like this.
	It's really the number of people.
	I don't have the figures, but it's really extraordinary.
	At Schombury Airport, more than 2,000 mainly British tourists were unable to fly home from ski holidays due to the weather.
	Drivers heading towards ski resorts were turned back on two motorways.
	Four departments remained on alert for snow and ice as more snow was forecast.
	The science is in!
	Science!
	Well, it evolved from climate change or the global warming to climate change to climate disruption.
	Weather isn't climate.
	Weather isn't climate.
	Weather is climate.
	Extreme weather events.
	Now, we're witnessing this is an extreme weather event, totally explained as an extreme weather event, part of the global warming phenomenon.
	It happens every year, though.
	I don't know why you're so skeptical about this.
	It's obviously what's going on.
	It's a climate event.
	Oh, it's a climate event.
	It's a climate event.
	Oh, okay.
	And we're going to have more and more of these.
	Shut up already!
	It's science!
	Well, all right.
	Are you ready for a little quiz?
	I'm game for a quiz.
	Okay, now this is a Christmas quiz.
	Can you get back in the feeling?
	Can you feel yourself back in Christmas?
	Can you get to it?
	Do you need help?
	Will you be okay?
	You think you can do it?
	I think so.
	Maybe.
	This always helps.
	And he's playing Jingle Bells.
	Very nice.
	Listen to this report on NBC network television and tell me what is missing.
	This is a little different.
	What is missing?
	It's like one of those things where you show the cartoon and I would picture next to it and something's missing.
	Yes, yes.
	What is missing from this report about Christmas?
	You ready?
	Okay.
	Finally on this special night, a question.
	What does Christmas mean to you?
	Maybe it's the presents, the lights, the music, or getting together with loved ones.
	We put the question to people around the country and discovered once again that Christmas means something a little different to everyone.
	We are looking for the perfect Christmas tree, our first Christmas tree in our brand new house.
	Christmas is redemption, love, joy, happiness, and a fresh new start to a new year.
	Christmas is awesome.
	Time to spend with my family.
	Christmas means having great food, good drink, lots of friends, and a red velvet cake.
	Opening my presents.
	A little eggnog never hurt.
	Christmas is spending time with your family.
	Amazing gifts.
	Santa brings me toys.
	I'm on the niceness.
	Usually on Christmas Eve, I'm the one that vacuums the house.
	Happy Hanukkah.
	Merry Christmas to you and your dogs.
	Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
	Merry Christmas.
	Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
	There you go.
	And the question is, what was missing?
	Let's break this down.
	One thing missing, of course, was since they had a gratuitous mention of...
	Of Hanukkah, there was no mention of Kwanzaa, but okay, we'll let that one slide.
	That's not like all of it.
	Let me think.
	What would be missing from this particular...
	What network was this on, by the way?
	NBC. The National Broadcast Corporation.
	NBC, of course.
	Well, maybe if you think maybe NBC stands for the National Birth of Christ, maybe, was missing from the report?
	Very good, John C. DeBoer.
	Come on back to post-Christmas.
	Very good.
	Man, you know, I'm not a church-going guy.
	I'm not a religious guy.
	No, you're not.
	You're an agnostic character if there ever was.
	But, come on, even I'm seeing that this is kind of a war on religion.
	Bullcrap.
	Bullcrap.
	Could they just say, oh yeah, we celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus.
	Even kids sometimes.
	But maybe someone said it, but they didn't put it in that package.
	No, but you end up with stories like, this was kind of disgusting.
	This is the pig head vandal story that was a local issue, or not a local issue.
	Big Good Hearts Parish in Haverhill, Massachusetts.
	A disturbing scene on Christmas morning.
	Someone stole the baby Jesus from this nativity scene and replaced it with a real pig's head.
	Local media say police have made no arrests and are calling for the public's help to find out who was behind this.
	Meanwhile, this small parish about 35 miles north of Boston is dealing with a Christmas holiday that was marred by an act of vandalism.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	laughter Now, if you want to take Christ out of Christmas, even though it's kind of in the Word, if you want to do that completely, let's just drop the holiday.
	No more religious celebrations, which, by the way, also bounces Easter.
	So let's get rid of Easter and Easter vacation.
	Let's get rid of Easter, Easter vacation, which is now known not for, you know, they've taken Christ out of that, too, and made that spring break.
	Okay.
	What's going on in Fort Lauderdale, Dale?
	Well, we're here with Spuds McKenzie, John.
	I'm glad you asked, and we're about to do the Big Belly Flop Contest.
	Look at those Hawaiian Tropic babes!
	There's a lot of drinking going on, I hear.
	You bet there is, John.
	Drinking is what it's all about.
	Hey, now.
	Well, thanks for the report.
	You're welcome.
	Hey, babes.
	Hey, girls.
	Let's do another shot.
	So, if you're going to take religious...
	Holidays out because you're offending somebody who should be grateful they're getting some time off, whoever they are.
	I mean, the atheists hate this.
	You hear bitching and moaning from the Jewish community and the Muslims.
	Just take them out.
	Get rid of these holidays.
	Just eliminate them and make people work those weeks.
	That's why they slipped in a little happy Hanukkah.
	And the little joke of this, of course, was the fresh, one asshole, Christmas marks a fresh new start.
	No, no Christmas marks a fresh new start, jerk.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Which is also a holiday, a religious holiday in some fashion.
	Oh, it's not a holiday for us.
	Whatever the case, just get rid of these religious holidays and be done with it, if that's the way you feel.
	That's you, NBC. Yes, NBC. The president did his podcast for Christmas.
	Is this the one with Michelle standing there?
	No.
	There was one that two of them did together.
	Yeah.
	And she's standing there reading or sitting.
	And he's got his mouth open, kind of mouthing the words on the prompter.
	Yeah.
	No.
	No.
	I just wanted to...
	I pulled a little clip from his podcast.
	It felt...
	How can I explain it?
	Just listen to it.
	Six years since the financial crisis have demanded hard work and sacrifice on everyone's part.
	It's kind of a wrap-up of how great we're doing.
	But as a country, we have every right to be proud of what we've got to show for it.
	More jobs, more insured, a growing economy, shrinking deficits, bustling industry, booming energy.
	Bustling?
	Booming?
	Pick any metric you want.
	How about you six numbers?
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I can't use that one.
	America's resurgence is real.
	Real.
	And we now have the show.
	He's like Alex Jones.
	This is real!
	This resurgence is real!
	And we now have the chance to reverse the decades-long erosion of middle-class jobs and incomes.
	Yeah, to drive in puking people around in your leased vehicle for Uber.
	We just have to invest in the things we know will secure even faster growth in higher-paying jobs for more Americans.
	Oh, what?
	Are you ready?
	Yeah, what?
	Okay, let's find out.
	Hold on, let me roll it back just a little bit.
	For more Americans, we have to make sure our economy, our justice system, and our government...
	Did you say economy or economy?
	Economy.
	I think you just said economy.
	He said economy and our justice system, which, as you know, needs to be revamped because, you know, a bunch of Ku Klux Klan guys are running around killing black people.
	Oh.
	Our government will work not only for a few, but for all of us.
	Like the bankers.
	Are we going to throw some bankers in jail, Barack?
	How about that?
	Let's start with that with our Justice Department.
	What do you say, Holder?
	Let's throw some bankers in jail.
	Oh, no.
	I look forward to working together with the new Congress next year on these priorities.
	Sure, we'll disagree on some things.
	We'll have to compromise on others.
	I'll act on my own when it's necessary.
	Whoa!
	He'll act on his own when it's necessary.
	Heil Hitler!
	Wow.
	Beautiful.
	But I'll never stop trying to make life better for people like you.
	Because thanks to your efforts, a new foundation is laid.
	A new future is ready to be written.
	Oh.
	We have set the stage for a new American moment.
	And I'm going to spend every minute of my last two years making sure we seize it.
	There's a need for a rescue mission.
	When the world is threatened, the world needs help, it calls on America.
	And that's the stories.
	See, that's how I would have done it.
	I would have done a little more of that vibe than this.
	Not to do production.
	They never ask us.
	I have two clips about war on race, cops, New York City cops getting killed and all this stuff.
	And I want to play these two clips because they are the two most uncomfortable things really to watch.
	Let me explain.
	It is Ben Carson.
	And Alan West, both black men.
	And when I see these guys on TV, of course, I can lift myself out of the slave mentality of the general population with no agenda thinking cap on.
	But it feels so uncomfortable because you have black guys who are Republicans.
	How can that be?
	Republicans are racist.
	So clearly these must be Uncle Toms then.
	And they hate women.
	It's a miracle they ever get married.
	So these black guys...
	They have to be Uncle Toms.
	They must be Uncle Toms.
	And they're sucking up to the police.
	I mean, it is the most uncomfortable thing to watch.
	It must be so hard for some people.
	Their brain must go into...
	I don't understand that!
	Ben Carson first.
	Well, there's no question that the blame game always exacerbates the situation.
	And I believe it would be a very wise idea to start talking about the good that the police do.
	You know, we can find bad things about anybody.
	And if we just emphasize those bad things all the time, it's called demonization.
	It's like Sesame Street.
	That's called demonization.
	A lot of bitter feelings about that individual or that group.
	We know that tactic.
	We certainly shouldn't be engaging in that with the police.
	How would any of our lives be if the police weren't there?
	People would come in your house and they'd say, I think I like that television.
	I'm taking it.
	Better still, you get out.
	I'm taking this house.
	I mean, it would just be chaos.
	The police are wonderful people.
	Of course, there are bad apples in just about any group.
	But for the most part, our lives are made much better by the police and every community.
	So, do you see how uncomfortable that must be for people to watch this guy, who, by the way, is a neurosurgeon?
	I mean, oh my God, he's so smart and talented, but you can't be a Republican and be black and you've got to hate the police because they hate the black man.
	This is screwing with my head.
	And by the way, I think, Dr.
	Carson, you are incorrect.
	In Texas, if we had no police and someone came into my house and said, oh, I think I'll take this television, he would be looking down the barrel of the judge, so...
	Doesn't quite work that way here in Texas.
	That's because pretty much guns are opened for everything.
	That's right.
	And guess what?
	Everybody's polite.
	Alan West is...
	Now, is he a talk show host by career?
	What is his vocation?
	Well, Alan West was a congressman who I think is nuts.
	Oh, and he's black.
	Yeah, he's black.
	He's nuts.
	He's a Republican.
	Yeah, but he's an ex-Marine, pro-military.
	He's over the top.
	He's kind of a creep.
	I like the other guy a lot.
	Carson's great, but West, I think, is a jerk.
	The most important thing we have to come to understand is that leaders establish a climate or an atmosphere in a unit or an organization or across a nation.
	And when you have people such as the President, such as the Attorney General Eric Holder, and then also Mayor Bill de Blasio, And you look at some of the things that have been said.
	You go back to the Skip Gates incident when the police in Cambridge acted stupidly.
	Those were the words of the president.
	Why do we believe that police need retraining and reorganization and reforming?
	That are some of the words that come from Eric Holder.
	And then also Mayor DeBrasio, who came in going after the stop and frisk program and saying that he feels for his son.
	He feels that his son is threatened by the police.
	Those are the type of climate and atmosphere that's been created.
	And you remember after the grand jury decision in Ferguson, Missouri, it was within two hours that the president took to the stage to give his assessment.
	Well, where is the president now?
	He should be talking to these protesters and saying that this would not be tolerated in the United States of America.
	We have a rule of law.
	We have to have respect and regard for our police officers.
	We have to honor our judicial system and our due process.
	Yeah, very good point.
	Yeah.
	Where was the president condemning all this?
	Well, he was busy creating the President's Task Force on 21st Century Policing.
	He was, by executive order, this establishment, by the authority vested in him as president, by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America.
	The task force shall be composed of not more than 11 members, which is the wacky number, appointed by the president.
	These shall include distinguished individuals with relevant experience and subject matter, expertise in law, enforcement, civil rights, and civil liberties.
	How much do you want to bet Sharpton's on this thing?
	Yeah.
	I would actually guess, because Sharpton has a job in the White House already, that he won't get on this.
	Okay, we'll check.
	The president still designates two members of the task force to serve as co-chairs.
	That means there's a woman.
	Yes, of course.
	Yeah, and a black guy.
	And one of them is gay.
	We're not sure which one.
	Or both.
	They're both named Pat.
	The task force shall be solely advisory.
	And so shall submit a report to the president by March 2nd, 2015.
	Will it then go away?
	Yeah.
	This is bullshit.
	This is some...
	Hey, man, I need some...
	I don't have a job.
	Can I get on a task force?
	They pay me.
	I'm on a task force.
	Well, you know, I pay like 80 grand because we'll get more volunteers for the motorcade.
	I'm on a task force.
	Give you the money.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	It's a lost cause.
	Why are we complaining about all this stuff?
	This is just a lost cause.
	Let's see.
	Here's better stuff.
	Well, if you put it that way...
	Okay, here's better stuff.
	All right.
	Here's the Colorado pot update.
	Ah, about time we had that.
	Thursday marks one year since Colorado became the first state to allow recreational marijuana.
	But this morning, Colorado faces a lawsuit from both Oklahoma and Nebraska.
	They want the Supreme Court to rule the law unconstitutional because of the impact on neighboring states.
	Barry Peterson looks at Colorado's rocky year in pot.
	If skeptics wondered about the popularity of pot, on January 1, Colorado residents answered with their wallets.
	Lines on the first day stretched around the block.
	So we're sort of like explorers here.
	It's like Lewis and Clark.
	They didn't have any...
	But Colorado's governor, John Hickenloops, who opposed legalization, was still skeptical.
	Hey, man, I'm seeking out new worlds and new civilizations.
	We sat down with him in February.
	Are you comfortable with the way it's happened since and the way it's unfolding now?
	Sure.
	I think myself and almost every elected official in the state of Colorado, we didn't want to be the social laboratory, but our voters passed it by a large margin, 55-45, and we accept that this is going to be one of the great social experiments of the next 50 years.
	Colorado now has more than 800 outlets.
	Denver alone has more pot shops than Starbucks.
	They've already done that one, haven't they?
	They've mentioned this all the time.
	That's not entirely a fair comparison.
	No, it's bullshit.
	...and policy at the Brookings Institution.
	These days, that means watching marijuana trends.
	There's clearly a profit motive among producers.
	They're not in the business just to deliver some public good in the form of marijuana.
	At the same time, states have found that there is a selling point around the taxation of marijuana that's an important part of passing these initiatives.
	Indeed, selling pot is putting a lot of taxes into the revenue pot at both state and local levels.
	The state took in more than 43 million in the first nine months.
	Local cities collected millions more.
	But high times have come with some low points, like how to regulate edibles, products like candy that are infused with marijuana.
	It allegedly led to the suicide of a visiting college student who overdosed and jumped to his death.
	Alright, stop this report.
	Bullcrap.
	As a professional, former, all-day, all-the-time user of the magical herb known as marijuana.
	You are the best spokesperson for the daily use model.
	Hey, if you're in an unhappy marriage, all you need to do is self-medicate.
	And you, too, can get your helicopter license.
	Well, go on.
	You were going to say something.
	I was going to say, in all my years, never have I ever come across someone who got so high that they wanted to fly on marijuana.
	Jump off a balcony.
	Jumping off the building story is bogus, and that's the best they can do.
	Yeah, but then they're tying this into edibles, which I was not a fan of.
	I have tried the brownies.
	It was not my thing because I was also addicted to the worst drug in the world, which is tobacco.
	And so I was combining the tobacco with the marijuana.
	And the marijuana, I quit just like the cold turkey.
	Tobacco, another story.
	That took a long time.
	Yeah, it took you over a year.
	And I'm now, what, two and a half years smoke-free?
	Two and a half years sober.
	Sober?
	Hey, do I get a coin, a challenge coin?
	I get a chip or a chip or something.
	Somebody sent him a challenge coin.
	Well, I'm very proud of that.
	That was not easy to do.
	No.
	No, I remember you doing it.
	It was like a...
	You know, you were...
	It was bad when you were smoking because you were smoking all the time.
	You were smoking into your microphone.
	Yes.
	And...
	Well, what I was worried about...
	Add some low notes.
	What I was worried about is that my voice would change drastically if I stopped smoking.
	But really, I couldn't imagine doing this show without the moments to...
	Because, of course, I rolled my own so they would go out.
	They wouldn't burn up.
	My own tobacco and paper.
	You know, spark up.
	Like, okay.
	It would be more energy.
	And quite frankly, do you notice the difference between when I was smoking or not smoking?
	Yeah, you're more talkative.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	You're actually better in terms of being...
	You're a little bit joyous.
	I mean, it's a little annoying.
	It's a little annoying.
	But you're a little more like, hey, kids!
	Everybody into the pool!
	You could get a job on a cruise line as the activities director.
	Would you prefer that I... Do you want me to try going back to this?
	No, no, no.
	I can deal with it.
	Is it not good?
	Do you feel as bad for the performance?
	No, it's fine.
	Sometimes you talk over clips too much, but in a...
	You know, it's because you just have to keep going.
	You're like on...
	Energizer Bunny?
	Something.
	You're like taking amphetamines.
	What is that pill everyone takes?
	Adderall.
	Bullshit amphetamines.
	Is it like that?
	No, I'm not.
	Because you're not...
	No.
	You don't have...
	The other thing would...
	It wasn't good.
	You were morose occasionally, and you were not very good at that.
	At being morose?
	I didn't like it, yeah.
	What is morose?
	What is the definition?
	Yeah, morose.
	Look it up.
	Oh, thanks.
	You were a little up and down.
	Those drugs weren't helping you at all.
	Sullen, sulky, gloomy, bad-tempered.
	All of a sudden, you'd show up.
	Competition is what you were thinking.
	That's why you didn't want me to do that.
	Yeah, that's it.
	Well, while we're on the top of you, then, what do you think about me?
	Let's play this little thing I got, especially for you, a little ditty that was done on local news on some guy at Stanford who has Tourette's.
	Now, does he have the cool kind?
	No, unfortunately he doesn't.
	The cool kind where you're cursing and yelling bomb threats at the TSA? Not that kind?
	Yeah, that's great.
	That's the kind I wish I had.
	No, instead I just had my travel story when we're done with this.
	I just have ticks and twitches and jidgets.
	That's what this guy's got.
	We used to call them jidgets.
	Have you ever heard that word?
	I think I've used it, misused it myself as a jidget.
	Hold on a second.
	Before I start, Jigit.
	That's what my parents used to call it.
	They used to call it Jigit?
	I think this is a made-up word.
	Well, it might be.
	Jigit.
	How would you spell Jigit?
	G-I-G-E-T.
	That's the way I'd spell it.
	Jigit.
	Let's see.
	Jigit.
	Fictional character.
	That's Gidget.
	Yeah, well, that's Gidget.
	Oh, Gidget.
	J-I-G-E-T. Hmm.
	We'll look into the etymology of that later.
	First, a story that is made for me.
	Austin Tubbs is a walk-on third-string long snapper for the Stanford football team.
	So, why is he noteworthy?
	Austin has Tourette's Syndrome, a neurological disorder characterized by uncontrollable body twitches, rare for a varsity athlete.
	Team hero.
	If you blink, you might miss it.
	Austin Tubbs blinks often, yet misses nothing.
	I blink kind of sporadically, which is one thing that I have now, which is actually kind of nice.
	Fuck.
	You can't do this to me.
	Now I'm blinking.
	You're blinking.
	Now I'm blinking.
	Oh, crap.
	That's another good reason to do an audio podcast.
	Oh, I'm blinking.
	Except, I mean, like, people think I'm...
	I have to clench my eyes really tight.
	So my eyeballs hurt.
	Okay, got it.
	Flirting all the time.
	It's not something that he hides.
	It's something that he's out front with.
	You missed a punchline there.
	You have to bag it up.
	He says he...
	Not something anybody hides?
	Is that what he said?
	No, I'll be fine with that.
	Yet misses nothing.
	I blink kind of sporadically, which is one thing that I have now, which is actually kind of nice, except people think I'm flirting all the time.
	It's not something that he hides.
	It's something that he's out for.
	No confusion ever have I had.
	No confusion.
	Has anyone ever said, hey, are you flirting with me?
	Or are you just...
	The Tourette's sufferer.
	You're just jerking, jigging, tick guy.
	But it's also something that's never been a problem.
	The H. When Austin was younger, it was a problem.
	The symptoms were more severe, the audience less forgiving.
	It used to be, you know, much tougher for him.
	You know, a younger kid in school, you know, kids are in school.
	It was something that he did have to deal with, and that was kind of something that he had to...
	Push through and kind of learn how to handle.
	For certain points, I would shrug my shoulders, bump my head.
	I had to blow on my hands one time.
	That one made the least sense to me.
	Oddly enough, I was at my most still when I was playing football.
	I mean, when I get down to play, I am just like a statue.
	Perfect form.
	And we have superpowers, as we all now know on this show.
	When you have Tourette's, you get superpowers.
	Well, the reason I brought this clip, because it's kind of cute, was he said at one time he had to blow on his hands all the time, and he said it made no sense to him.
	It's more like OCD. Well, blowing on his hands all the time.
	Do you ever have any oddball characteristics that came and went and you don't do anymore?
	All of them come and go, yeah.
	You want me to give you a list?
	You want to really know?
	Yeah, I'd be interested.
	I think the public would be.
	So the blinking thing, which of course is deadly on television, I somehow have managed to get away from that.
	However, and unfortunately both camera people are now dead at MTV who work there.
	Thank you, Facebook.
	I think Facebook just kills all my friends.
	So they'd be counting down, right?
	And the way MTV worked, it was...
	But even live shows, it's the same thing.
	It wouldn't matter.
	You're getting ready to go, and the floor director is standing there.
	That would be...
	Floor director, I think, is what it's called here in the States, too.
	Five, four, three.
	And while we're at three, I'm blinking.
	I'm really going like this with my head just to get it all out.
	And then two, one.
	Hey, everybody, welcome back to MTV. That was Whitesnake.
	So did you like Tawny Katane there laying out on the hood of that Jaguar?
	Coming up next on the Headbangers Ball, we'll bring you some more Guns N' Roses.
	Keep it right here on the Big M. And then I'll go back to taking and twitching.
	So I could stop it.
	That's what this guy did with his football.
	Yep.
	You can't be twitching around if you're a lineman in a football team.
	No, no, it could be a violation.
	It's a violation, a penalty.
	It's a penalty.
	For emotion.
	But often, before I go into a building or a room, I'll be outside on the street.
	I did this just yesterday.
	And I'd be like, just really, really, just twitch my head a couple times really good.
	So you take an advance to run it out.
	I'm an advance ticker.
	Yeah.
	To run it out.
	To run it out, yeah.
	But please call it by his proper name.
	It's a digit.
	Well, you said you were going to tell us some of the ones that you've had come and gone with.
	Okay.
	None of that.
	You did a great job of bypassing the question.
	Oh, no.
	I'm sorry.
	I told you about the really clenching the eyes really, really, really tight.
	Then there's this sound.
	This sound.
	What's that?
	What is that?
	How is that a tick?
	It's a guttural sound.
	Huh.
	Or I could do it.
	Hold on.
	I'm going to tell you.
	Yeah, I'm interested.
	We're all interested.
	Okay, so take your right hand, palm up, bend your elbow, and then make sure that your pinky is touching kind of the middle of your...
	To me, it's a little to the right of the middle of my chest, right?
	Yeah.
	And then you combine it by hitting your hand so the four fingers collapse and then do the...
	I have no idea what you just described.
	So...
	So my palm is up, arm is...
	Yeah, but where's the hand?
	Is it out of mile?
	No, no.
	Put it almost against your chest.
	Okay, it's up.
	And then if you kind of karate chop on your chest, the pinky will hit your ring finger.
	Oh, okay.
	You want me to make noise?
	Quiet, quiet.
	Listen to this.
	So that's me hitting my chest, but I combine...
	I combine it with the guttural sound.
	You're a horrible Tourette's man.
	Tourette's is no good.
	Then there's the mashing of the ball of your foot.
	Oh, I never heard of this one.
	Yeah, so you're just standing there, and then you just...
	On one, you stretch one leg out, and the ball of your foot, you just turn it around, and then it has to squish a little bit in the shoe until just like you've done it enough, and then it feels good.
	I have no idea what that looks like.
	And snapping my toes.
	What does that mean?
	In my shoe, even, I can cross the toe next to my big toe, like a finger snap, and I can snap my...
	No!
	Yeah, I'm doing it right now, actually.
	Wow!
	Hold on, I've got to take...
	Yeah.
	That's astonishing, actually.
	Yeah.
	And that, my friends, is just the beginning.
	You know what's great?
	Having sex with me is a ball, baby.
	Let me tell you that.
	Yeah, especially with the...
	I'm going to show my support by donating to no agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on no agenda.
	Oh.
	Ew.
	Well, that's fascinating.
	Oh, I'm glad you asked.
	I want you to know I have no shame in admitting all this.
	No, no, you got your act together on it.
	Why wouldn't you?
	Why would you have shame?
	The guy did a whole thing on television about it.
	Well, this is what I tell people.
	Bretts people don't seem to have...
	Ah, wait.
	Am I wrong?
	You are incorrect.
	The biggest problem, particularly with kids...
	Oh yeah, with kids.
	I'm the same way as adults when they get their act together.
	But it takes many people years and years to get their act together.
	This is why, who's the guy that does the Fox animated family show, the family guy?
	Family guy.
	Seth.
	Seth MacFarlane.
	Has Tourette's.
	Yes.
	And he has twitches with his head.
	He has blinking.
	And I can, you know, I met him, but I'm like, dude, you've got Tourette's.
	I see it.
	You can't keep it from me.
	And the Tourette's person...
	No, you spot Tourette's on people that I sometimes miss.
	They will take this to a level like, ha ha ha!
	Like, really?
	This is like a bomber, actually.
	They'll go out and they'll make big, large movements with emotions to try and mask the urge that you have.
	I gotta take a...
	Fuck, I just gotta take right now.
	I gotta take...
	Oh, thank God I did it.
	Now...
	The problem with kids is...
	You think Balmer has Tourette's?
	Some version of it, yeah.
	Oh, for sure.
	Yeah, for sure.
	Now that you mention it, since I know Steve, I can see it.
	Oh, totally.
	And people get ticks and stuff throughout their lifetime.
	Just with Tourette's, it just kind of stays, it moves around, and sometimes you're lucky.
	I have one sometimes where I just flex my right peck, which doesn't really show.
	Yeah.
	A bathing suit, it would.
	Hey, show off, what are you doing?
	Are you flirting with me?
	That's where we start snapping the toes.
	Are you flirting with me, snapping your toes?
	But with kids, this is what I tell parents who, and I get a lot of people ask me, be open, make fun about it.
	When your kid has a new tick, say, that's a cool one, man.
	I haven't seen that one yet.
	Let's call Adam.
	Show him that.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	And it helps them so tremendously because the pressure's off.
	And when the pressure's off, then guess what?
	You haven't ticked for a whole 10 seconds.
	Wow.
	That was good.
	Maybe you can go another 10.
	Did your tics increase or decrease when you were a daily user of pot?
	Made no difference, strangely.
	I thought it would make a difference.
	It does for certain kinds of spasmodic episodes and seizures.
	If anything, well, you're just calm in general, but your mind gets taken away.
	It's like, oh man, I gotta take real bad.
	It's slower.
	Slow ticks.
	Slow ticks.
	Anyway.
	Alright, enough of that.
	So, when you are supporting the program, you are actually helping the handicapped.
	Yeah, you are.
	Me too.
	I have a limp.
	Cole Kalistra.
	We want to thank some people.
	Let's start with Cole Kalistra from North Attleboro, Massachusetts.
	Nuts.
	1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
	Cole says, happy birthday to the best podcast in the universe.
	Can I get a Noodle Kid in some karma for my startup?
	We'll do the Noodle Kid.
	We need to do the Noodle Kid again.
	What was the new Noodle Kid we had?
	I forgot who that was.
	Remember?
	Yeah, yeah, that's the one that's recently obtained.
	And you get some karma at the end there.
	I just don't remember.
	Yeah, I remember it.
	I'll think about it as we get through this, so I'll come up with it.
	Scott Spencer in Dawsonville, Georgia, 12345.
	Dame Beth in Baja, Arizona, 12345.
	This is a good one for 12345.
	She says, John sat through the interview, and apparently Adam did too.
	This is hazard pay, and that's why she sent us the money.
	Baroness Maggie Vinson in Concord.
	Hey, there's the Baroness.
	She's got a great question.
	She's the Baroness, so we do what she says.
	One, two, three, four, five.
	Hey, guys, now that my life has stabilized, I've been listening to you nonstop through hard times.
	I've had an extra change.
	I've had extra change to donate.
	Please give me a general life happiness karma.
	Some new meme.
	Life is giving is circulating.
	Yeah, giving is circulating.
	You give, you get.
	Love you both.
	I recently moved from D.C. to beautiful Concord, Massachusetts, which is about as old as the U.S. gets.
	I'm not sure what my title is, but I was a baroness in the past.
	I'd like to be queen of Concord, Massachusetts.
	She can be whatever she wants in my book.
	By the way, she would be the Red Queen.
	She's a ginger.
	Throw a gratuitous karma at her.
	Not just gratuitous, well-deserved for the Queen of Concord.
	You've got karma.
	Eric Hochul in Berlin, Deutschland, $100.04.
	Sir Jim Zucal.
	I think Eric Hochul's a sir.
	Pretty sure he is, yeah.
	Sir Jim Zucal in Los Angeles, California, $100.
	Can't live without us.
	Roy Pingel in Brooklyn, New York, $100.
	And he becomes a knight.
	It becomes a knight today, and he's got the calculation, shows it's true.
	What does he want to be called?
	He wants to be called Sir Roy of Hoyt Schermerhorn.
	Sir Roy of Hoyt Shimmerhorn.
	I don't know exactly how that works, but okay.
	Let me just make sure it's on the list here.
	Let me just double check.
	We have...
	Sir Roy, okay.
	And Maggie becomes...
	Maggie Vincent becomes the Queen of Concord.
	Okay.
	I'm sorry.
	Just doing some last-minute admin.
	From Spain, Ignacio Garcia Perez in Bilbao, $100.
	Couldn't let the year go by without donating to my favorite podcast.
	Benjamin Fields in Irvine, California.
	He needs...
	Oh, here we go.
	He'd like to request a de-douching after being called out by Sir Christopher Spears.
	So he was called out as a douchebag and then donated $99.99.
	So I guess a de-douching is in order.
	Okay.
	You've been de-douched.
	You called somebody out while you were at it.
	Andrew Bentley.
	Actually, you should have gotten that.
	You should have gotten that, too.
	Andrew Bentley in Tacoma, Washington, 71-11.
	Sir Great Goomer in Chesapeake.
	Andrew, actually his son Taylor has been donating.
	So this is Dad Andrew saying, ah!
	So Dad Andrew's catching up.
	Oh yeah, and we referred to his son as his daughter on the show.
	Oh right, Taylor.
	Because of Taylor Swift.
	Yeah, Taylor Swift is to blame.
	Anyway, my daughter's name is Gabrielle Bentley.
	Do we need a ring?
	Oh, let's do that.
	For who?
	Wake up, Gabrielle, the phone!
	Do it again.
	Do it one more time.
	Wake up, Gabrielle, the phone!
	Wow, that's really...
	I got a better one.
	That's really not good.
	Yeah, it's good.
	This is a good general one.
	This is your evil phone ringing.
	Answer it!
	Answer the phone!
	I think anyone could use that one.
	By Ayn Rand.
	Whatever.
	We should put a price tag on those things.
	Yes, thank you.
	You're just giving away the store here.
	I don't know what's wrong with you.
	Yeah, the store.
	The store has been given away.
	It's a great humor in Chesapeake, Virginia.
	69-69.
	Oh, our blood and treasure.
	Don't give that away.
	Oops, this thing's bouncing around because we have a very long note, which we will read not on the show.
	Derek Hughes, 69-69 in Appleton, Wisconsin.
	He says, though, I will say this.
	The quality of the analysis you guys do to provide the current events helps me to understand I'm not crazy.
	Okay, we've got that with a lot of people.
	Yeah, wait until you start doing all those ticks I just helped you.
	The other catalyst that prompted me to donate was when John said a couple shows back that the female...
	Oh, this is the tranny thing.
	Okay, fine.
	My wife has said the same thing a few shows earlier.
	You know, I have to object.
	I have to object.
	Transgender, transsexual, but tranny, it's not a nice name.
	Yeah, okay.
	I'm glad you feel that way.
	I do.
	Jennifer Zimmerman, Cranberry something.
	I think you missed Gregory Davies.
	I think you missed.
	Wasn't I just reading Gregory Davies?
	No, that was Derek Hugh.
	Oh, okay.
	Gregory Davies, $69.69.
	Jennifer Zimmerman, Pennsylvania, $60.
	And this is for her husband's 32nd birthday, so he's on the list.
	Oh, nice.
	He said, better than a Christmas gift.
	He told me I wasn't allowed to get him anything.
	Well, there you go.
	So I decide there's no better way to honor them with a donation to the best podcast in the universe.
	Aw, that's nice, Jennifer.
	By the way, when mates tell you not to get them anything, they're lying.
	But this is good.
	This is what you can make up for.
	Jose Abreu in Lisbon, Portugal.
	$58.17.
	And he's a knight.
	It's coming up, so it'll be Sir later.
	James Moore in San Pablo, California.
	Wrap the street from me.
	$56.
	Marcos Muriama Nagasaki in Lima, Peru.
	There's a lot of Japanese in Lima, Peru.
	$55.55.
	He says he's the only Peruvian listener that donates anyway.
	That's true.
	Bingo, boom, shakalaka.
	I think we have a few Peruvians, but it's not a country for donating.
	Donald Winkler, Berlin, Deutschland, 5555.
	We have a lot of Berliners, which I think is great.
	Steven Ivanisik in Campbell River, B.C., double nickels on the dime.
	Josh McDonald, double nickels on the dime, parts unknown.
	Kevin Dills in Charlotte, North Carolina, Great Town, 5510.
	Dan Whitechick in Beach Grove, Indiana, double nickels on the dime.
	I'm going to have trouble remembering that it's pronounced Whitechick, but I'll try.
	Whitechick.
	Whitechick.
	I'll remember.
	Robert de Groot in Holland.
	Robert de Groot.
	Robert de Groot in Mierlo.
	In Mierlo.
	Mierlo.
	This is his first donation.
	It'll probably be his last after that.
	Mrs.
	Johnson.
	Mrs.
	Johnson.
	I think it's a great donation, Mrs.
	Johnson.
	Two dollars in Spokane Valley, Washington.
	In honor of her husband's 26th birthday.
	$26 for Adam.
	$26 for John.
	Thank you for keeping my favorite human informed and laughing.
	Cheers, Mrs.
	Johnson.
	Mrs.
	Johnson.
	Paul Pearteman just emailed me and says, thanks, all my tics are back.
	You just reminded me of my tics.
	That's the problem.
	When someone talks about blinking, then I'm blinking like a crazy...
	Is that true?
	Yeah, it is.
	Not that you're blinking, but the reminding of it makes it worse?
	Yeah.
	So that entire topic should have never been introduced.
	Yeah.
	I thought it was informative, educational.
	I do feel it was hazardous to my health.
	Okay, well, you're fine.
	Brian Rogers, $50.05 in Kent, Connecticut.
	And the rest of these are $50 donations to round off the day.
	We did the last two shows, by the way.
	Matthew Davis in Garden Grove, California.
	Kristen Drenzek in Palmer, Alaska.
	$50 for the birthday coming up for her son.
	Michael Proctor, Sydney, New South Wales.
	David Duvall in Malta, New York.
	Covey Levin in Collingwood, Victoria, Australia.
	Michael Siegenthaler in Phoenix, Arizona.
	Gerald Inabinet.
	Inabinet, da-da-da-da.
	Union, South Carolina.
	Ross Turpin in Troy, Kansas.
	Peter Totes, parts unknown.
	It must be Sir Peter Totes.
	Sir Peter Totes, exactly.
	You're right.
	I'm wrong.
	Michael Towan in Hayden, Idaho.
	Shadrich and DeBenego.
	No, I'm sorry.
	Just Shadrich in Seattle, Washington.
	Wait a minute.
	I didn't catch the reference.
	Shadrich and DeBenego?
	What's that?
	Yeah, it's just an old song from the 40s.
	You wouldn't know.
	Okay.
	Meshach and Abednego.
	There's some crazy tune that was very popular in the early 40s, maybe.
	I'm not sure.
	That's kind of like...
	I'll get to the reference.
	You can read it and go, Oh, that Dvorak's hilarious!
	Are you in a rush or hurry or something wrong?
	I mean, are you mad about something?
	No, I just got a lot of names to go through.
	It's like Desmond Decker.
	Why are you accusing me throughout this show?
	Because you have like a little nasty edge.
	Yeah, that's good.
	Is it like Desmond Decker and Rouge?
	Do you remember that?
	Wasn't it Desmond Decker and Rouge?
	Somebody contributes named Desmond Decker, I'll say, and Rouge.
	We're all mad.
	No, I don't know Desmond.
	I know Desmond Decker.
	I've heard his songs.
	He's a reggae guy, if I'm not mistaken.
	I never heard of Rouge.
	Dig up a tune, play it later.
	The Israelites.
	Oh, yeah, that song.
	That's a great song.
	Desmond Decker and Rouge.
	I thought it was just Desmond Decker.
	I think Rouge snuck in there.
	Tao Ha Fan in Brooklyn Park, Minnesota.
	That's $50.
	These are $50 donors.
	Joseph Braniff in Homer City, Pennsylvania.
	Loves the deconstruction of current events.
	Keep it up!
	In 2015.
	Matt Comstock in Wolcott, Connecticut.
	Merry Christmas.
	Macy Stolowski.
	Stolowski.
	Yeah, Stolowski.
	In Calgary, Alberta.
	Where the money used to be.
	Sandy Geisler in Watkinsville, Georgia.
	Tim Abel in Bergfield, Berkshire, UK. Brandon Merck in Tempe, Arizona.
	Jason Daniels in Dallas, Texas.
	Josh McGinnis, in both Ringwood East Victoria and Dingley Village, two donations of $50 East, which for some reason come in separately.
	Tony!
	Mate!
	Sorry.
	Pushing him up to the $100 donation.
	We have some Australian jingles.
	Abbott!
	Did you get the Abbott and Costello one?
	Yeah, I didn't download it.
	Oh, you should.
	It's what it's supposed to be.
	Eric Mann in Spring Hill something-something Florida.
	What do you think that is?
	Something-something Florida.
	Alexander Sokovi, who I believe is a knight by now.
	Am I right or am I wrong?
	I'm not sure.
	In Moscow, Russia.
	Should be.
	And finally, John Streg in San Antonio, Texas at $50.
	And we want to thank, these are the people who donated for his show today.
	681 and 682.
	And we want to remind them to, or remind the rest of you to consider helping us out for the Sunday show, which, oh, this is the Sunday show.
	The Thursday show.
	Thursday, New Year's show.
	We're working on New Year's live in the studio.
	Now, are you going to...
	I'm in Albany.
	Right.
	Oh, you're going to be back in...
	Oh, okay.
	I'm back.
	You'll be back with the girls.
	Hey, girls.
	Right.
	What girls?
	I don't know.
	The girls in Albany.
	Are you insulting Eric and...
	No, no.
	I thought you had your girls on New Year's Eve.
	Don't you have chicks?
	I wish.
	What are you talking about?
	I don't know.
	I just thought the girls maybe.
	I don't know.
	How many girls are you talking about?
	There's more than one.
	Women love you.
	Yeah, sure.
	They do.
	I didn't get any flowers.
	I'd like to be your wingman.
	Oh, I did get, by the way.
	I don't have his name.
	Thank him profusely on the next show.
	Somebody sent us that crazy night pen holder.
	Oh, you got one?
	I got two.
	Oh, cool.
	And, of course, Eric grabbed it and said, I can get these made in China.
	Well, he did say that, too.
	But he said, I'll send this to Adam because otherwise it'll never get done.
	Oh, well, this is true because I pretty much have nothing that is ever sent to the P.O. box.
	Yeah, well.
	Anyway, they're very, very attractive.
	It's the coolest item.
	I saw the picture.
	It looked pretty nice.
	Yeah, it's pretty cool.
	Hey, I want to thank these folks.
	A reminder, we do a show 683 coming up on New Year's Day, and we'll be doing a special New Year's show with all kinds of deconstruction.
	You'll never hear anyplace else, because nobody does a show like this anyway.
	That's right.
	.org slash NA is your target.
	Don't you think...
	I mean, Don Lemon's not going to be working on New Year's Day.
	Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
	Well, although...
	He's watching the news on his own.
	Unless that plane is still missing.
	Then they may have to carry it over.
	Oh man, Richard Quest...
	No, the deal would be for Don Lemon to go to Malaysia.
	That's what you want.
	On the spot!
	It's an Indonesian plane.
	Isn't that the Straits of Malacca again?
	Isn't that the same?
	It's a Bermuda Triangle.
	No, it's been shot out of the sky.
	That's what's going on.
	Maybe.
	Anyway, here's a sequence for everybody who requested it.
	Thank you very much for supporting the program.
	It is highly, highly, highly appreciated.
	You've been de-douched.
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	You've got karma.
	And her head is gone.
	There we go.
	And indeed, please remember us for our Thursday show, the first show of the new year 2015.
	Dvorak.org.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Gee, don't say it's true.
	Well, let's take a look at our list here.
	We have Jennifer Zimmerman saying happy birthday to her husband, Jeff Zimmerman, who turned 32 yesterday on the 27th.
	Stephen Ivanusik says happy birthday to her smoking hot girlfriend, Matt.
	Oh, yes.
	Maddie Lucene should be celebrating on the last day of the year on the 31st.
	Miss Johnson says happy birthday to her husband, Jerry Johnson, turning 26 today, I think today.
	And Kristen Drenzek says happy birthday to her son, Zane Tiberius, as in T, for T. Kirk Drenzek.
	He'll be turning one on the 31st as well.
	Happy birthday from all your buddies here at The Best Podcast in the Universe!
	Okay, and we have, let's see...
	It's funny you got the Tiberius reference.
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	Well, I've had a lot of practice.
	What, you're a big Star Trek fan?
	I didn't know this.
	Jake, I'm not a doctor and neither are you.
	Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a rocket scientist.
	Jake, I'm not a doctor and neither are you.
	My degree was in computer science.
	Damn it, Jim, I'm a surgeon, not an alien computer science specialist.
	I can fill a whole hour.
	Yeah, no, somebody did that.
	It took all those doc...
	Oh, it took all of those?
	Oh, that's pretty cool.
	All in one.
	There's like about 50 of them.
	That's cool.
	All right, we have, let's see, change here in status, which will be reflected on the peerage map, ITM.IM. Thank you very much, AJ Reistad, for taking care of that.
	ITM.IM slash peerage.
	Baroness Maggie Vincent becomes the queen of Concord.
	I mean, the Queen of Concord.
	And we are very happy about that.
	And we have three knighthoods to handle today.
	Kirk Ann, Roy Pingle, Jose Abreu, all of you should...
	Well, hold on a second.
	Be careful, because we got the blades.
	Did you bring it up there?
	I got it!
	Ah, yes.
	Okay, gentlemen, step forward, please!
	All three of you are about to join the illustrious group known as the Knights of the Noagina Roundtable, and we've got some dames there as well.
	So I hereby pronounce the KD, Sir Kirk of the Happy Valley, Sir Roy of Hoyt Shimmerhorn, and Sir ZP of Lusitania.
	For you, we've got root beer and pepperoni pizza, hookers and blow, rent boys and chardonnay, malted barley and hops, ass cream with bear fillings, bad science and perky breasts, cannabis and cabernet, Hot pants and booze, long-haired heavy metal guys, and scotch.
	And of course, if you want mutton to meet, always on the list, always a favorite of our Knights and Dames of the Roundtable.
	Go to noagendanation.com slash rings and get on the list.
	Was that ass cream with bare filling?
	Yeah.
	That was, yes.
	Don't you remember that?
	Vaguely.
	It was a, um, well, it was some bit we played.
	And at a certain point, I think you were the one that said why it was ice cream with something else, but somehow it came out as ass cream and bear fillings, and it just, I don't know, it just stuck.
	I don't even really remember what clip it was.
	I can't find it now.
	Ass cream.
	Yeah, I remember very specifically.
	And it wound up on the list of...
	Here's the Ass Cream and Bear Fillings Night Reward.
	There we go.
	Let me see.
	Alright, well, something to be looked in for.
	Yeah, we'll do some research.
	For a future show.
	Alright, but I have one for you here.
	This will just make you laugh.
	Did you see McLaughlin Group by any chance?
	No.
	In Port Angeles, where I tried to get some clips, I got to get them off the TV. I mean, I'm sorry, off the computer, because the TV consists of Roku, Xbox Live, and Canadian TV. I got one of those Amazon Fire sticks.
	Oh, yeah?
	Yeah, that's just a Roku box and a stick.
	It's impressive.
	Does it have the Slingbox capability?
	Yes, it does.
	It has the Slingbox app in it.
	It does?
	Okay, never mind.
	I'll be talking about it later.
	What's disappointing is it looks all cool and you stick it in like, oh, this is dynamite, but then you have this hokey wire that has to go to a power supply.
	What?
	Yeah, they couldn't get the power out of the HDMI? It's HDMI. It's HDMI, but it still has an external power, a wall wart.
	Well, that sucks.
	Yeah, it's very disappointing.
	And the design of where this wire sticks out is wrong, because on mine, if I plug it into the side HDMI port, then the wire is in the middle of the stick, and it's popping up and then goes down.
	It's dumb.
	It's a very strange design decision.
	They got some issues with their hardware.
	It's the same thing with that phone they made.
	Well, that was a collector's item.
	An instant collector's item.
	Anyway, this is Eleanor Clift.
	Eleanor, as you know, is probably next to Rachel Manow.
	She is the quintessential Obama bot.
	Just a different generation.
	And as you know, she loves saying that our president is a constitutional warrior!
	How'd I do?
	Well, you, uh, yeah, you, uh, you love doing that.
	I'm a constitutional warrior on the cliff!
	Yeah.
	And so here she is with her, and she's in conversation, and Pat, or is it Pat Robertson who's on the show?
	Pat Robertson?
	Pat Buchanan.
	That's the one, Pat Buchanan.
	It's great to watch this particular segment because he is looking at her and his mouth is open.
	He is so flabbergasted by the sludge that is coming out of her pie hole.
	This is about Cuba.
	And it represents, of course, all my Obama bot friends who I stalk on Facebook.
	What is everybody saying about Cuba?
	All the obots.
	It's about time.
	We can't wait.
	We can't wait to go to Cuba!
	Let's book our tickets to Cuba, everybody!
	No drama.
	Obama has opened it up!
	So here she is with her misconceptions of what Cuba is.
	This is the soft landing for the end of the Castro regime.
	Nobody is quite sure what comes next, but this certainly does open up the opportunity for more small-D democratic principles to come into play.
	China, Nixon went to China, and Mao continued with the madness of the Cultural Revolution.
	And then the Chinese, what they did, they tried to open up, they brought in the investment, they bring in the capital, they bring in all the manufacturing, everything, and try to maintain a police state dictatorship.
	And they've maintained their dictatorship very, very well.
	This is what the Castro brothers are going to try to do.
	It's a very tough thing to do, and they're, of course, much smaller and much closer.
	And the rest of us are all going to be rushing to get to Cuba before it turns into Miami Beach, while it's still that unspoiled seemingly place.
	You think Cuba under Castro is an unspoiled, wonderful paradise?
	Well, with the classic cars from the...
	1950s and 60s.
	People want to see Cuba as it is before it becomes more developed.
	This woman is delusional.
	It is funny, though.
	I can't wait to see the cars from the 1950s!
	You know, when I was a Bobby Soxer.
	I think what you got out of that clip was a strange kind of...
	And the Democrats do this more than the Republicans, although they do it, too.
	A strange sentimentalism.
	Extremely strange.
	You know, because, oh, those cars, those old cars, those old buildings are, you know, they're, you know, you can still see this kind of, if you want a real sentimental note, find some of these old Eastern European block countries that never got any money or tourists.
	Get yourself a Lada.
	Get yourself a Lada.
	Enjoy.
	Yeah, get a Lada and drive it around.
	I had a Lada.
	A four-door.
	A Lada what?
	Hey-oh.
	Yeah, I had the four-door.
	It was actually my first car before, but it didn't last long because the brakes just went out, just completely.
	Was that the one with the plastic size that would pop out?
	No.
	No, it was made of some cheap, rusted metal crap.
	Okay.
	Yeah, it was not a good...
	And I had a Java motorcycle, which was kind of cool.
	A Java?
	Java.
	Jawa.
	Jawa.
	I think that's Yugoslavian.
	J-A-W-A. Jawa.
	That's a winner.
	Was it a two-stroke?
	No, no, no.
	It was four on four-stroke.
	But what was cool is the Kickstarter was your gear shift.
	So you'd push your...
	The gear shift is on the left foot.
	Oh, my God!
	You'd push the thing in and then rotate it backwards, and then it was the Kickstarter.
	It was very strange.
	It was almost impossible because that was left foot, so then you had to put it on the kickstand, get to the left side of the bike, and then...
	It was a left foot kickstarter?
	Yes, but you couldn't do it because the compressor was one cylinder, 600 cc's or something.
	It was crazy.
	This...
	East block crap.
	Yeah, east block crap is the word.
	Hey, do you want to go back to the Madame Marie show?
	No, I want to get my clips out of the way on Cuba.
	Oh, perfect.
	I have a Redux clip we can skip.
	It's not important.
	Oh, why?
	Why don't we do it?
	No, it's too long.
	And then we have the...
	Reminiscences of...
	What's the name of that?
	Barbara Wawa.
	She is on giving her talks about when she did early interviews.
	She was the first person to interview him when he took over the place.
	So let's just listen to that.
	Just an intro clip is Cuba Castro gun and lap clip.
	And then you realize that this woman doesn't think on her feet.
	You went to several locations.
	Well, what we did mostly was travel through the mountains, through the Sierra Maestria Mountains with him.
	As he drove his own Jeep, I sat next to him with his gun in my lap.
	I thought, why did he need his gun in my lap?
	Why am I asking that now?
	And hard candies because he would stop along the way to children.
	And he would give them hard candies.
	He did not like the personification.
	There are no pictures of Castro as you go along the way.
	You know, it's not...
	There are not the way it is, for example, when I went to Beijing and you saw pictures of Mao.
	I'm going back a few years.
	Sure, sure.
	Saddam Hussein.
	Saddam Hussein.
	You do not see this.
	He does not...
	He did not want it to be one man.
	He had his gun in my lap.
	Notice she had a gun in her lap.
	I was there.
	Now, the second clip, which I want to play, is this very short clip, and this was part of this interview with Barbara.
	And I think it begs the question, this guy should be called out.
	I remember, by the way, that he said that if they lifted the embargo, if we lifted the embargo, he would shave off his beard.
	I wonder if he has.
	We know he hasn't, but he should.
	But is this the old Castro or the Castro brother?
	Well, the old Castro's still alive.
	Right, but was he supposed to shave off his beard?
	Yeah, the Castro brother's got nothing to do with anything until recently.
	Yeah, he's got to shave off his beard.
	We've got to call him on this.
	Okay.
	Alright, go on with what you were saying.
	I only have one last clip then.
	Is it something you want to say for the end of the show?
	Yeah.
	Alright.
	I would like to return for a moment because as I teased in the beginning of the program, I learned so much from the Matt and Marie sitcom this week.
	I really am up to date on all kinds of world affairs.
	So let's go back one more time.
	Now to pick up where you left us, John.
	With Cuba, did you know this?
	Did you all notice at all that two days after the big announcement from the president, the deputy prime minister of Russia, Mr.
	Blagoza, showed up in Havana for big security meetings with Raul Castro and others?
	I did not notice that.
	The secretary looks forward to visiting him as well.
	The secretary looks forward to visiting them as well.
	He's not the only people who can visit him.
	We can visit him too much.
	Right, but two days after the U.S. and the Cubans announced that they're going to move towards restoration, Deputy Prime Minister Rogozin, who has been no shrinking violet when it comes to the use of Russian military, was in Havana for meetings.
	And I'm just wondering, did that get onto your radar screen at all?
	Nope, and I wouldn't read anything into it.
	I wouldn't read anything into the Deputy Prime Minister visiting two days after we announced.
	Thank you.
	You know, Saki always goes to her.
	She's got her well-organized.
	She's probably, you know, a neat freak.
	Well-organized, and she doesn't just shoot off the hip.
	She would have a tab, and she'd flip to it, and she'd read the statement, and that would be that.
	This is a mistake.
	She is so much better than Marie Harf as a spokesperson.
	Yes, but Marie has Matt in her pocket, so to speak.
	I think he's in her pocket.
	Well, yeah, completely.
	I'm so, it's so clear to me these two are boning.
	It's obvious.
	Not all questions asked by Matt, but this was very interesting with a great question, and this really gets Marie all mad.
	This is about the Iraqi Air Force.
	Sorry, did you say Iraqi Air Force also helped?
	Correct.
	The Peshmerga forces on the ground around Sinjar were supported by Coalition and Iraqi Army Air Support.
	But does Iraq have any air defense system?
	Well, clearly there was some helping here.
	So the answer would be yes.
	The answer is really no.
	So she gets called on this.
	Iraq doesn't really have an Air Force.
	They have two planes capable of shooting hellfires.
	They were out of hellfires, and then these two aircraft couldn't even shoot the hellfires anymore.
	So what exactly is this bullcrap that you're giving us, Harf?
	And yes, well, it says here on my paper that they helped, so clearly they do have an Air Force.
	Uh, no.
	Are you right?
	She does deduction.
	Yes.
	If A, then B. Yes, yes.
	And she does it constantly when it's not in the notes.
	It's not appropriate.
	It is wrong.
	It's totally wrong.
	You can't do that in that position.
	We could do it.
	Well, yeah.
	This is all we do.
	But then we correct ourselves later.
	Nobody cares, but we're not, you know, officials of the government.
	Correct.
	Correct.
	Two more in this particular...
	And that snotty approach of, well, clearly...
	Clearly, since it's here...
	Use those words just to insult the other person, because obviously, clearly, it's clearly...
	Clearly.
	I did two and two yourself.
	Why do I have to do it?
	Why do I even have to talk to you, you little curmudgeon?
	The Chiners, on the heels of what we discussed earlier...
	Are doing what you do when America is trying to show you things such as, well, you called it right out, John.
	You said, hey, China.
	Hey, you Chiners.
	Look at this umbrella revolution we've got going on in Hong Kong.
	Huh?
	Huh?
	You want some of that on the mainland?
	You want some of this?
	So what would you do if you were the Chinese, John?
	I don't know.
	I haven't got a clue.
	If I was the Chinese, I'd say, whatever you want!
	And then there's also state media reporting that there's a law under consideration to place new regulations on foreign non-government organizations operating in China.
	So this is, of course, how it works.
	They know what's going on.
	This is what Russia did, and they said, hey, you've got to register as foreign agents if you want to be an NGO, non-governmental organization.
	These are the people funded by numerous go-between organizations, most notably the National Endowment for Democracy, but there's a lot of them.
	Yeah, they all trace back to the State Department.
	USAID, United States Aid.
	What does AID stand for?
	USA, United States of America, Aid for International Development?
	Yeah.
	Money.
	Money reaction to that.
	So we're aware of those reports.
	I think that they're considering a new law to regulate these foreign NGOs working in China.
	Obviously, we consistently emphasize respect for the rule of law, independent judiciary, free flow of information, and robust civil society.
	Are really critical to any country, but certainly in China.
	That's a message we give them constantly.
	Do you have any specific guidance or analysis about whether this law would actually place undue restrictions on American NGOs operating in China?
	I haven't seen specifics on what would be in such a law, but obviously we believe that things like NGOs should be able to operate freely.
	But I haven't seen the specifics of this proposed law.
	Yeah.
	It should be operating freely for a color revolution.
	It makes so much sense.
	And then finally, I just want to reiterate this.
	One State Department briefing was only 23 minutes.
	We learned about Sony to be able to be compensated by North Korea for the damage of actor salaries.
	We'll call the lawyers for that.
	We learned that North Korea is being discussed in the Security Council and North Korea is not attending because they say it's bullcrap.
	We learned that Iraq has an Air Force.
	Shut up, slave.
	They have an Air Force.
	We learned that the Cubans were visited by the Russian Deputy Prime Minister two days after our big announcement, which you should just...
	Don't read too much into that.
	Don't read too much into that.
	There's nothing to see here.
	And we learned that we have nothing...
	We can't tell you about the Internet outage.
	It's North Korea's Internet.
	And then finally, if that wasn't enough...
	We have this!
	On the same issue, extradition, there was a fresh request from the Turkish government, according to Turkish newspapers, for the United States to extradite Fethullah Gulen, the Pennsylvania-based imam.
	Now this, of course, is our favorite guy who you probably first heard about here on this show.
	Absolutely.
	Fethullah Gulen.
	No one had been talking about Fethullah Gulen.
	And I don't think Marie Harp even knows who the guy's talking about right now.
	But he's been...
	You'd think she would.
	Mm-hmm.
	She's looking at Matt's bulge.
	Just Rogan.
	Straight out.
	Not up, straight out.
	So Turkey has issued an extradition request for Fethullah Gulen, who we know has been under CIA protection in his compound in Pennsylvania.
	All of his people are being fired, thrown in jail.
	who were there, because of course he was supposed to be the caliph.
	He was, when the caliphate comes, the whole idea was this guy was supposed to be the Mac Our guy.
	Of course he's our guy.
	And this has failed spectacularly.
	And now Turkey is asking for him to be extradited.
	And we learned something.
	Well, as a matter of long-standing policy, the State Department does not comment one way or the other on pending extradition requests or confirm or deny that a request might even exist.
	But you do have an extradition treaty with Turkey signing 70s.
	Oh!
	Did you know that?
	No, this is a good one.
	Extradition treaty.
	70s.
	Fine.
	We don't comment on specifics.
	Fine.
	Fine.
	That may be fine, but we just don't comment.
	Fine.
	Fine.
	Oh, this is going to be interesting to watch how they're going to deal with this.
	Well, wait.
	So, here comes Matt.
	Because Matt's not just taking this fine business.
	He hears enough of that in the bedroom with her.
	Comment on specifics.
	Does that go beyond that?
	Once an extradition has been completed, however, you will talk about it, yes?
	I can check.
	I can check.
	I'm assuming.
	That was the case with Noriega, so...
	Well, if it was the case with Noriega, then it must be the rule.
	If it was the case with Noriega, then it must be the rule, I guess.
	I think it's some sort of code.
	Let me check.
	Let me check.
	I would assume so, Matt, but I don't want to make a sweeping generalization.
	All right, everybody.
	There you go, Klaus, and another round of the show.
	They are K-I-S-S-I-N-G. They are in the out in the up in the old dirty alleyway.
	There's Matt and Marie.
	K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Did you know there's a new medical test?
	I didn't know about it.
	They could use it around here.
	Okay.
	But I guess it was developed in Egypt.
	Don't even say it.
	I'll just play it.
	I got the clip.
	Ready?
	Hit it.
	Two men exchanging rings on board a boat on the River Nile in a mock wedding ceremony.
	Even though homosexuality is not against the law in Egypt, the two men in the video were arrested, although they were later released after so-called medical tests failed to prove they were gay.
	Gay Egyptians say they are routinely harassed by the police.
	Our observers say the authorities have been known to go on gay websites like Grindr to set up sting operations.
	Somophilia?
	It's a sting operation on Grindr, which I think is an in-app purchase.
	That's a good one, John.
	I like that.
	Not a clip of the day, but it's as close as you're going to get.
	I do have this other one, which is interesting.
	This is funny because it seems no one's ever brought this up during the era where people were, and there were jokes written about it, cartoons about it in New York, where people were sitting in their bed on their laptop, Doing stuff, you know, while they're made sleeps or whatever.
	But now, all of a sudden, a study has shown, and I don't know what the basis for this is, and I suspect Amazon, even though the Kindle was never mentioned, but this is the iPad health problem clip.
	That new e-reader or tablet you got for the holidays may have been a great gift, but if you're not careful, it could really ruin your night.
	A new study shows using light-emitting electronic devices in the hours before bedtime may make you feel more tired the next day.
	Researchers had 12 people read books on an iPad before bed for five nights.
	Then the group switched to paper books.
	The test subjects reported feeling more sleepy the next morning after being exposed to screens, even if they got a full eight hours.
	Huh.
	Yeah.
	I just got this clip last night, so I didn't get...
	I couldn't find out who was behind this quote-unquote study, but I suspect the Publishers Association or somebody.
	Of course.
	Yeah, it was interesting.
	I like it.
	And I think it's true.
	No doubt.
	Alrighty.
	Somehow we managed to talk quite a bit once again.
	Well, John, thank you for 2014.
	Right, our next show will be next year.
	That's right.
	No more show until next year.
	Until next year, which will be in Thursday.
	And so reminding people at Dvorak.org slash Shanday, we can pick up the slack here.
	Maybe start the New Year right with the 14 people that will be listening on New Year's morning.
	Why are we doing a live show on New Year's?
	You know me, I'm for doing either the Christmas show or the New Year's show live.
	That's right.
	But, we only did the one.
	And people like that show, by the way.
	A lot of people love that Christmas show because it was a deconstruction of our own show.
	It was a great show.
	Go back and listen to it.
	A lot of people like the conversation about the sound.
	Yeah.
	It's available as a podcast.
	Go check it out, everybody.
	Coming to you from FEMA Region 6 here in the capital of the drone star state.
	In the morning, everybody, my name is Adam Curry.
	And looking forward to an ant invasion at the house in the middle of some area that's undisclosed.
	I'm John C. DeVore.
	We'll be back next year.
	Right here.
	We'll be back next year.
	On no agenda.
	The better show.
	I've got information, man.
	New shit has come to light.
	Isis.
	We will follow them to the gate of hell.
	Isis.
	I feel good!
	If there's a need for a rescue mission, when the world is threatened, the world needs help, it calls on America.
	And that's the story of...
	I remember, by the way, that he said that if they lifted the embargo, if we lifted the embargo, he would shave off his beard.
	I wonder if he has.
	I'm Joe Biden, and thank you for taking the time to listen.

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