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Sept. 4, 2014 - No Agenda

03:07:43

649: Scottish Do Over

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Time	Text
	This is a big deal, your 50th birthday, so people wanted to chime in on it.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	And it's Thursday, September 4th, 2014.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation media assassination episode 649.
	This is no agenda.
	Feeling fabulous at 50 in the Wi-Fi-enabled canal house in the pipe in the heart of Amsterdam.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where it's September already, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	I know.
	The sun's starting to go down already.
	Oh, early.
	Yeah.
	Well, it's 6 a little after 6 p.m.
	here in Gitmo Nation Lowlands.
	It's probably dark.
	No, no.
	It stays light pretty until, I don't know, I think 8.30?
	Yeah.
	Summertime, it can be even later.
	It can be 10.30 sometimes.
	Yeah.
	If I recall properly.
	Well...
	Yeah, I'm waiting.
	For what?
	Oh, happy birthday!
	Thank you!
	Thank you!
	You know...
	I sent you a card.
	To the house in Austin?
	No, no, that was the mailing that went out.
	I don't know, you probably never saw it.
	I saw the...
	Yes, I saw the very inappropriate newsletter, if that's what you're talking about.
	For one thing, to have you and Mickey in cahoots to photograph and then show my tattoo is...
	Got a pasty arm.
	I'm all over the map with my sleeping here.
	If this thing comes, I don't know, I see like 4 in the morning or something.
	I think it was shipped to 11, that would be about 10 at night at your time.
	I don't know.
	It's all over the map.
	It's not all over the map.
	I'm all over the map.
	It always goes out.
	I'm all over the map.
	Oh, that could be.
	Yeah, I'm all over the map.
	I'm registered in the U.S., you know, so I get my mail whenever it's...
	I don't know.
	But yes, thank you.
	Thank you.
	I'm now officially 50 years old, and as you know, the Dutch are very particular and very, very serious about their birthdays and their birthday celebrations.
	We've discussed this many times on the program.
	Oh, yeah.
	A couple things I would like to run through with you, if that's okay.
	Well, I want more compliments for the newsletter first.
	Come on.
	I think it's clear.
	It was very good.
	It was very creative and completely untrue.
	Well, that may or may not be.
	But it was worth the price of admission.
	I can't encourage people enough to take these newsletters for the occasional humorous one.
	You were in rare form.
	It was 100% Dvorak.
	It was appreciated.
	Believe me, it was appreciated.
	I realize that the social media, which of course, in combination with portable smartphones, with cameras, is an international health crisis.
	I realize it has destroyed, to me, a very important Dutch tradition.
	Oh.
	Yeah, which we may have never talked about.
	Okay.
	The birthday calendar.
	The birthday what?
	The Dutch birthday calendar.
	Have we ever talked about this?
	The Dutch birthday calendar?
	Mm-hmm.
	Yep.
	It has been tradition for as long as I can remember, although I'm not seeing it anymore, with this, you know, your birthday appears on your Facebook and all your fake friends wish you happy birthday.
	Right.
	It's always been a tradition.
	You go to someone's house in the Netherlands and in the bathroom, there is a calendar and it says birthday calendar.
	And while you're doing your business, you look at the calendar and And you check to see if you're on the calendar.
	If not, there's a little pen or pencil with a string, and you add your name.
	Oh, that's very interesting.
	No, we have never talked about this.
	I would have noticed.
	Yeah, and so, of course, whenever you're...
	That's actually very nice.
	That's actually...
	I like that.
	Yes.
	Because what it does is it creates an environment that if you're actually at somebody's house, you must be friends enough.
	You must be friends enough to take a shit.
	To take a crap in their house, which is, you know, awkward.
	Yeah, a little...
	Or if you take a P, you probably could see the calendar that way and still write into it.
	But now you've written into it because you're friendly.
	Yeah, I like it.
	I like that.
	That's a great idea.
	And unfortunately, it seems this tradition has gone away.
	I cannot recall being in it.
	Facebook is the birthday calendar on steroids.
	Well, and I came up with a trick this year, which I'm very proud of.
	I went back and looked, and I did this just on time, by the way.
	It was really nice I was able to do this.
	I went all the way back in this timeline crap, and I saw that there was like, I think, 300 or 400 people had wished me a happy birthday last year on Facebook.
	Okay.
	And, you know, and of course, the way this works is people wake up, or they open up their Facebook, and they look over to the right, and it says, oh, it's this so-and-so's birthday.
	Wish him, her, a happy birthday.
	Click.
	Yes, would you like to send a card?
	And not even that.
	You just say, happy birthday.
	You post, hey, old man, happy birthday.
	Do you have to like the happy birthdays?
	Oh, we'll get to the protocol.
	Somebody says happy birthday, Adam, and you click the like.
	We'll get to the protocol in a moment.
	I actually did ask Miss Mickey.
	I said, what is protocol?
	She said, well...
	Because you'll have so many, you can't like every single one, so then at the end of the day you do a, hey everybody, thanks for wishing me a happy birthday.
	But of course I wanted to find a way to thwart this and fuck with everybody.
	And I discovered that you can turn that notification off.
	There is a way, and it's hard to find, but if you Google around, you get the information, so that people will not see it's Adam Curry's birthday today.
	And I did that.
	Oh, it's just a way to catch your real friends.
	Well, it gets better.
	So I only had like 35, and every single one of these people who wish me happy birthday, I know in real life, Or well enough within, you know, like no agenda terms that we've conversed.
	It's not just a fake Facebook friend somewhere.
	But what's cool about it is that now everybody else who then stumbles across my timeline later...
	Oh, crap!
	How could I have missed that?
	I forgot to wish him happy birthdays.
	Facebook didn't alert me.
	And now they feel bad.
	Oh, so your goal in life is to make people feel bad.
	It was on this day, yes.
	Well, good for you.
	I think that's a noble...
	Yeah, it was pretty good.
	So I encourage everyone to do this.
	And I would like to mention...
	Well, I think what it was, it wasn't even to make people feel bad.
	It was to point out the fact that they weren't your friend.
	Exactly.
	Because if they were your friend...
	I'd be hanging on their calendar.
	Because you've been making a big fuss about this birthday.
	Yes.
	They would have known weeks ago that it was your birthday.
	Yes.
	So only my real friends said happy birthday on Facebook, and maybe Twitter, I'm sure Twitter does this crap now too, because I got a lot of Twitter.
	Does it say it's Adam Curry's birthday on Twitter now?
	LinkedIn does, and I think you get...
	Well, I'm not on LinkedIn, or not really, I don't know.
	I don't know if I got any notifications from any service that was your birthday.
	Now, here's something I would like to point out.
	When you turn 50, which is an interesting age, and I don't feel old or whatever, but I do...
	It's interesting, though, that you turn.
	Yes.
	Something about turning.
	I became.
	Turning is, yeah.
	I don't understand it, personally.
	Why you turn 50?
	I think it's because you turn over the page of the calendar of the day.
	You turn over.
	So people, again, I feel fresh and fit.
	I've stopped smoking.
	Yeah, you're in the best health of your life.
	Yes, I have a significantly younger wife.
	Could it get any better than, you know, not much better.
	Yeah, you'd have to grow a second dick or something.
	Working on it.
	Here are a couple of birthday wishes.
	For some reason, people don't realize how inappropriate the birthday wishes are when you turn this age.
	Time flies, old man.
	Is that what somebody said?
	My sister said that!
	On Facebook.
	Oh, jeez.
	50 and counting.
	To what?
	To death?
	Counting to death.
	Sorry.
	Counting to the grave?
	Here's one.
	Think half century instead of 50 years.
	It sounds less.
	Half century.
	I disagree.
	Half century sounds ancient.
	Of course, a lot of people would say, old man, did you see Abraham yet?
	This is a Dutch thing.
	I think we have talked about that, where when you turn 50, a man sees Abraham and a woman sees Sarah.
	I don't know the genesis of this, but often they will have little dolls of Abraham or Sarah.
	When you turn 50.
	It's a biblical thing.
	I'm not sure of the genesis of why.
	It's a certain thing, I'm sure of it.
	And then, it only gets better.
	Really?
	It only gets better?
	Let me check in with John C. Dvorak for a second here.
	John, let me ask you, after 50, does it only get better?
	Not that I know of.
	I see no, zero evidence.
	Zero evidence of it getting better.
	Yeah, smarter.
	You get a little more, you're less of a slave.
	That's about it.
	It doesn't seem any good, by the way.
	So I've been very clear since a year when Miss Mickey started asking me about my 50th birthday, and I'm not one to celebrate my birthday.
	I can't really remember a birthday party.
	Yeah, when I was six, I remember one.
	It might not even have been my birthday.
	Anyway.
	Not a big one on birthdays.
	It's also September 3rd is an awkward date.
	It's typically just before school starts, so you don't really know your new classmates.
	No one's in school.
	Everyone's on vacation.
	You can't have a party.
	Yeah, you can't really have a party.
	And we moved a lot, so it would be completely in neighborhoods.
	It didn't really work out that way.
	It's a calendar thing.
	And, of course, I was very clear.
	And it's a joke, but I really was clear.
	What do you want for your birthday?
	Hookers and blow.
	Please.
	50.
	It's what I want.
	Did you get any hookers and blow?
	Absolutely not.
	Yeah, of course not.
	It's bull crap.
	You're not going to get it.
	Of course not.
	Of course not.
	Maybe if you were a 21-year-old drug dealer, you could have gotten some.
	But, of course, I got something much better.
	And Miss Mickey has really been working on this for a year.
	She threw a 50th birthday party for me.
	And the whole reason we're here in Gitmo Nation lowlands is this.
	And the intent was people who I've grown up with.
	I could do one in New York probably.
	But these are the people...
	I started very young with my career in pirate radio and hospital radio when I was 15, and so my boyhood friends are here, and some of them had to come in from different parts of the world, but she had set this up enough in advance.
	There was one person missing.
	Me.
	That was you.
	Actually, two.
	My mom.
	She's dead.
	And you.
	And you're not dead.
	But we did have the appropriate John C. Dvorak head on a stick.
	Oh, that's nice.
	So you're in the pictures.
	Void Zero joined us, and he brought that.
	Yes, I like the head on the stick.
	We had one of you in the Detroit area when I was doing meetups there.
	And really, when I think about it, John...
	Although it wasn't really doing you justice because the head on the stick was too small of a head.
	Yeah, this head is also not really big enough, especially for your head, but it's there.
	You were on the table, kind of.
	You had a stand.
	I'd be on the table probably anyway.
	Hold on one second.
	I just got to open...
	Hold on.
	Don't move.
	Don't move.
	All right, I'm back.
	Now, of course, the reason you didn't come is because it's just for a party.
	I mean, you've been to 50th birthday parties, and, you know, it's great.
	And, of course, most of it was in Dutch.
	Although most of what I said was in English because I had no idea.
	I don't even know what language I was speaking anymore.
	Well, my Dutch is not that good.
	And, yeah, it would have been great.
	And, of course, you should be here.
	You're part of my life.
	But it's a long trip.
	And I get it.
	We talked about it, so I'm okay.
	We'll celebrate.
	Well, no, it's more than that.
	I mean, I had work to do for the show.
	I had to do this special newsletter.
	Yes, someone had to hold down the fort.
	Somebody had to continue the marketing of the No Agenda show on this side of the pond, and it would have also created an awkward show today.
	Yeah, it would have sucked.
	It would have been very strange.
	You'd have to be in a room there, which would never happen.
	So I'd be in the hotel down the street.
	Yeah, strange.
	And Skype would still suck.
	You'd be down the street and Skype would still be shit.
	Skype would suck and then I wouldn't have enough material, which I don't have anyway, usually, but sometimes I do.
	So, yeah, no.
	It's okay.
	I gave you a card.
	Yes, thank you.
	That's highly appreciated.
	And let me tell you what you missed.
	A couple things you need to see.
	So I knew nothing.
	There were a couple names on the list that I had to approve or disapprove.
	Did Obama show up?
	No.
	Funny enough.
	Invited.
	Do you know who did show up?
	No.
	Agent Orange, from our intelligence network in the military, he flew in from Kandahar for the party and left the same night on a C-17 back to Afghanistan.
	You gotta love it.
	And he was very specific to tell me that on the base, no agenda plays loudly on In the mess hall.
	They put the show on in the mess hall.
	They put the show in the mess hall.
	Yes!
	Do you have to keep people from eating their meals?
	Or what's the point?
	Well, yes.
	Apparently, when we start doing our Mohammed and Abdullah ISIS terrorists, there are actual spit takes of people spitting out their drink.
	They love us.
	They love us.
	Because they know that they're out there doing bullcrap for bullcrap reasons, for bullcrap people.
	Yeah.
	And so they love us for it.
	That was heartwarming.
	Yeah, they love us to remind them what they're there for.
	And he gave me three new challenge coins.
	Oh.
	Oh yeah, no, you're going to hate me for this.
	Two of them, Department of State.
	One of them, John F. Carey.
	It says it right there on the challenge coin.
	With his signature.
	He even signed this challenge coin, John F. Carey.
	And he has a Department of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton.
	Oh, that's nice.
	That's a great little gift.
	That's a good birthday gift.
	And then he gave me, he said, in case anyone ever...
	Tries to say that there are no nuclear weapons in the Netherlands.
	He gave me the 703 Muntz Volkl Air Force Base.
	The deter, assure, dissuade.
	And this is the 703.
	Daggers, drawn, drop the bomb.
	And these are the guys who are maintaining the actual...
	The nuclear weapons in the silos here in the Netherlands.
	And there's a little picture of a vest with a 703 on it.
	And the vest is orange.
	And on the vest where you'd have like an insignia, there's a little mushroom cloud.
	I have to take a picture of this.
	This is one of my favorite challenge coins ever.
	That's a gem.
	It is a total gem.
	Steady with daggers drawn.
	This thing is...
	This says Team America all over it.
	All right.
	Now, the party that Miss Mickey threw, the location, you have to take a look at this.
	Google Mayer Manor.
	M-A-Y-E-R-M-A-N-O-R. Mayer Manor.
	M-A-Y-E-R-M-A-N-O-R? Two words.
	And you should get to Tumblr.
	Mayer Manor or something.
	Tumblr?
	I'm just looking at the...
	I just hit the images to take a look.
	And there's a lot of nice images.
	You got little fireplaces in these rooms.
	You got a crazy tub.
	You have a copper tub?
	Yeah, that was the suite upstairs where we stayed after the party.
	This place, if you find the Tumblr page, this is kind of like you walk into Hugo, the movie.
	It's very steampunk and...
	Yeah, it looks steamy.
	Very steamy.
	I don't see the Tumblr page.
	Yeah, here it is.
	Here it is.
	And if you go to history, there's a tomb downstairs and all this.
	It's a very spooky place.
	1417.
	Yep.
	The spot on which the manor resides was home to St.
	Mary Monastery figures.
	The monastery was a woman's convent of the Third Order of the Franciscans.
	The Third Order.
	Hmm.
	To this day, remnants of the foundation and cemetery of the monastery can be seen.
	You have ghosts in that place.
	Oh, yeah.
	In its current form, the building was built in 1881, according to the Amsterdam City Archives, and in 1908, Mr.
	A. Mayer applied for a building permit together with architect K. The property was converted into a tobacco firm.
	It must have some stench there, or actually a good smell of fresh tobacco.
	The lighting was old-school, really old-fashioned operating theater lights.
	So the tent club is where you were having your parties?
	Yes.
	And if you look at the bed and bath after the party, well, first you went down to the basement and there was this whole club.
	Did you have to take a bath in public in front of everybody?
	No, no, no.
	This was just before I got to use my lucky rubber.
	So you got the...
	Come on, come on.
	I've been carrying the lucky rubber with me for five years.
	Come on.
	I had it.
	The lucky rubber...
	Like you're ever.
	So there's a tub in the middle of the room, which is a copper tub.
	Yeah, with a fireplace.
	How do you get the water out of this thing?
	It's modernized, so there's a plug right in the middle of the bottom.
	Oh, okay.
	So you see behind it is a big shower and this whole...
	You don't see everything, but it was...
	Phenomenal.
	Candles.
	Yeah, and everything, the whole place, the candles were all lit.
	Burned to the ground because of these candles.
	I'm telling you.
	It could happen.
	Women and candles.
	I don't get it.
	It's a threat.
	I think it's just a threat.
	Look, we could fill it.
	I could dump some kerosene in here.
	The place would go up in flames.
	It's a threat.
	Yes.
	It's a threat to men.
	Right.
	And, you know, we had, they brought breakfast up this morning, you know, croissants.
	Do I have a croissant?
	Before the show.
	Before the show.
	In fact, I have taken to your system an espresso, a croissant, and a bubbly water.
	That's exactly the reason.
	The reason is because you want a little carbs before the show.
	Breakfast of champions.
	That carb energy.
	And you've got maybe some jam on the croissant.
	And then you're ready to go.
	If you had bacon and eggs, it would be kind of loggy.
	So we had 50 guests for my 50th birthday, and then my sisters were there, and Willow came in from Italy, and of course, the traditional singing songs about how stupid I am, that was very nice.
	And then there was a surprise.
	So imagine...
	Now, this is the Dutch version, but I'll give you an example.
	Just imagine the following.
	My old buddy from the radio show we had here, which was my old partner, a very successful show we had, and he gets up and he starts talking about old days and kind of doing his speech.
	And then he says, well, and we have a little surprise.
	And imagine if I were in America and this were Vegas, and this would be the moment where Frank Sinatra came in to sing me a song.
	So we had kind of the Dutch version of that, Rene Froger.
	I know some people, he's no Frank Sinatra, but he is of that stature in this country.
	And he just, you know, walked in and sang a song for me.
	And, you know, it was, that was kind of on the level of, holy crap.
	Everyone was, what?
	You know what I mean?
	That was cool that that did happen.
	Mickey made this all happen, of course.
	Of course, of course.
	And it was just, it was completely, the food, she had a free de mer to start with, which was free de mer, mer, mer.
	There was mussels and clams and, not clams, oysters and lobster and crab and shrimp.
	And it was just stacked up three, I'll have pictures eventually.
	She had a photographer too.
	Why did she take the pictures?
	She's busy partying with me.
	She had a photographer to do the whole thing.
	And of course, she has all these contacts here.
	So she pulled out all the stops, all the favors.
	Everybody she knew was like, you owe me.
	And it was just, it was really lovely.
	Were the gossip rags there taking photos?
	No, this was the nice thing about it.
	They were completely taken off guard.
	They were like, what?
	The next day, what?
	We didn't know!
	No one knew about it.
	It was star-studded.
	Nobody stool-pigeoned on you.
	No.
	No, no, no.
	And then my creative partner, Katya, who I did the Addams Family reality show with, and we also did the Operation Iraqi Sunrise when we went to Iraq with the radio show.
	She had put together a 35-minute video.
	Because there's so much video of me.
	Just throughout all the years.
	And it was, I was looking at things like, there was me with Steven Tyler, and I couldn't, I can't remember that.
	I can't remember.
	You think I'd remember?
	That proves you're 50.
	I think if you'd be hanging out with, you know, if you'd be hanging out with Steven Tyler, I'd remember.
	I can't remember this!
	I can die now.
	It's fine.
	I've done enough.
	Kill me.
	I don't know if that should be the height of your life, but that's okay.
	Well, that was just the middle of the video.
	And then, of course, we had asked everybody, please, no presents.
	What?!
	Well, if you, it was kind of, I gotta schlep this stuff back, so if you're gonna give me something, you know, maybe ship it.
	So they gave me, like, the book, the picture book, before they, before they're gone.
	This is a, you've probably heard of this.
	This guy who, um, weighs 20 pounds.
	This guy who photographs all the tribes and peoples around the earth who are, you know, dying out.
	A beautiful book.
	And that's really an inappropriate gift to give someone who's traveling.
	Yeah, I would think.
	And they said it.
	Ha ha ha!
	A few figured out curry.
	The gift I like the most is like Johnny Walker Platinum.
	Stuff I can drink.
	That's great.
	Champagne.
	Lots of champagne.
	How's that Johnny Walker Platinum?
	Is that any good?
	Johnny Walker Platinum is a new invention.
	And I don't know that it's available everywhere.
	And I've never had it.
	So let me take a look at it.
	I can tell you.
	Because they're actually pretty honest with their...
	Because I know the McAllen, we've learned.
	McAllen has stopped doing their years on the bottle.
	They've now gone to McAllen Amber.
	No, that's not true.
	Here in the Netherlands it is.
	Well, it could be there.
	I mean, these guys are the target market.
	Right.
	They no longer do McCallum 12, which is about all we can afford.
	And they say, oh, we don't have 12.
	We have amber.
	What?
	Yeah, but it's like 5 and 7.
	I would say it's no good.
	The amber.
	We haven't tried it.
	I'm not interested.
	And it's more expensive than the 12.
	I'm not interested.
	Well, that's your gimmick.
	That's how you do it.
	Somebody knows what they're doing when they pull that off.
	I did get one of those cool cameras.
	Was it the Lytro or...
	You got a Lytro?
	Yeah.
	Why are you laughing?
	That's a piece of crap.
	Oh, come on!
	That's a nice gadget gift.
	Oh, God.
	My lawyer.
	My old lawyer came.
	The guy who...
	I think he sued my dad once for me.
	This guy...
	He probably got the Lytro as a settlement.
	This guy has no screw.
	He doesn't give a crap about anything.
	But I wanted Mickey to meet all these people.
	I said, there's only two people in the world you need to call.
	If there's a problem, here's guy number one.
	Don't worry.
	He'll take care of you.
	Thank you.
	It was beautiful.
	It was a lot of fun.
	And I feel very loved and very taken care of.
	And it was great.
	And I don't think I ever want to do another birthday.
	The next morning, we'll do 60, 65.
	People are going to be ugly.
	If they're around, they'll be dead.
	Or ugly.
	Or cranky.
	Cranky.
	Who needs it?
	Who needs it?
	Well, Mickey's, her 50s.
	Nah, you'll do another one.
	She'll make you do one when you're 60.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	I'm not gonna do it.
	I'm not gonna do it.
	I do know I want to change my hair a little bit.
	I saw some good looks in the past.
	A little shorter.
	A little shorter.
	Well, the platinum from what I can tell.
	Mm-hmm.
	It's just an 18 blended.
	It would be good, but it wouldn't be the blue.
	Actually, the thing is they had...
	It sounds really expensive.
	They don't have like this...
	I'm on the Walker site, and they must have either taken...
	Yeah, I know it's not going to be cheap, but they must have taken the green off the market.
	That's interesting.
	Green.
	I know black.
	I know...
	No, the green was a special, like, they owned...
	Johnny Walker owns a bunch of distilleries in all these different places, Talisker and places like that.
	All these single distilleries make single malts.
	Right.
	And Johnny Walker owns them, and they're just...
	You wouldn't know, but a lot of them are owned by them.
	Right.
	And so they'll make the single malts, and Johnny Walker makes these blended whiskeys, which means there's a bunch of neutral spirits in there, because it's for people who think that single malts, it's too strong!
	It tastes like peat!
	It tastes like dirt!
	I can't drink this!
	Peat and moss!
	So those guys don't drink the single malts, they drink the blended whiskeys like Johnny Walker.
	Anyway, these single malt places often don't have even, I don't know, they have leftover stuff in barrels.
	Johnny Walker used to collect all that stuff and then put it in the bottle called Johnny Walker Green.
	And it was all just a mess of single malts.
	It was delicious.
	But it was all these different ones.
	There wasn't anything distinctive about it in that regard.
	But it was tasty single malt that they produced.
	And it was cheap.
	It was 15 years old.
	I would just like to say that everyone who gave me alcohol, that is an appropriate gift for a 50-year-old.
	Yeah, for you, for sure.
	You can drink it and then not have to carry it.
	And I have to buy a suitcase.
	I have to have a second suitcase to go back.
	Either that or I have to ship it.
	Shipping is a problem.
	Alcohol overseas is impossible.
	It's not the alcohol.
	There's books and pictures.
	It's expensive.
	It just gets annoying.
	Anyway, the big news over here, and there was a number of things that were the talk of the party.
	People were, of course, talking.
	We have to talk about Obama's speech, because this is Euroland.
	Now, Euroland is, there are a couple of things people are talking about, and there's a lot of things people are not talking about.
	But when you get to a party where people are like, hey, we're going to the crazy conspiracy theorist guy, let's have some fun!
	Then, you know, people loosen up once you put some alcohol in them.
	But the fappening, they were talking a lot about the fappening here.
	Is this fappening?
	Yes, the fappening.
	Okay.
	Are you familiar with the fappening?
	I'll bite.
	The fappening.
	Oh, you don't know about the fappening?
	I don't know about the Fappening.
	Yes, you do.
	The Fappening is this so-called archive of stolen iPhone iCloud video photos.
	Oh, yeah, of course.
	Of the Celebrities.
	I have the definitive collection of those pictures.
	Yes, of course you do.
	We discuss it on DHM Plug.
	Of course you do.
	And I said, I don't care.
	And so Horowitz, I don't know, he found them all.
	And so he sent me, if you don't have them...
	No, I have them.
	Okay.
	What was interesting, as I perused through the American mainstream media, I don't think, in fact, I believe the name fappening, I think that originated in the Netherlands.
	We don't use that term.
	I've never heard it.
	That's exactly.
	And it's being thrown about so cavalierly, like everyone should know what it is.
	And here in the Netherlands, I think it was Geensteelpuntinel, which is kind of a very rude, jokey type site.
	You know, it started as a blog, and they're funny.
	These guys are funny.
	They got some humor.
	But always, you know, putting people down is the Dutch way.
	And whenever they posted a picture of a hot chick, they would say, here's some fap material.
	And fap is from the fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap.
	The sound of masturbation is fapping.
	It is?
	Well, that's how this word originated.
	Masturbation was the deal.
	It's like, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap.
	Yeah, but I'm just telling you that this is funny when you now see...
	Okay, so it's fappening because people are masturbating to these pictures.
	Masturbating to these pictures.
	Or in photos?
	Yes!
	Yes!
	Well, they're pretty hard up, let's put it that way.
	You've got the internet out there.
	Well, the whole thing...
	You don't need pictures of, you know, these lame selfies.
	I have to say a couple things about this, though.
	My left tits a little bigger than my rash.
	I wonder if the doctor can fix that and make my tits the same size.
	I have to, and this may be British as well, a fapping, I don't know.
	But I only know it from the Netherlands, but it certainly is not an Americanism.
	And let's just get a couple things straight.
	This is bullcrap set up.
	This is not like someone just stole all these last week.
	This has been collected over months and maybe years, but now it's coming out, and I have some ideas as to why.
	Okay, well, personally, it was one of those stories.
	Oh, okay, and then there's a fuss being made.
	Now, I think, let me tell you what's going on here so you can get it.
	Little understanding of what it is.
	What we have as you go to the talk shows and the pundits and all the rest of it, they're all going on and on about how it's a felony, or it should be, or they're going to have to change some laws.
	Oh yeah, people have to go to jail, these horrible, gruesome a-holes, these evil, evil men who are doing this.
	This is so horrible.
	I cannot believe this.
	It was so sad for these women.
	This is what I'm reading.
	A bunch of exhibitionist women to begin with, or they wouldn't have those pictures.
	What are they there for?
	Hey, look at this!
	What would you take?
	A naked picture of yourself, kind of like, let me see if my...
	This is, by the way, part of your longer exposition on selfies, which occurred and is reiterated every so often by you.
	That is some sort of screwiness to it.
	And you'd have to say that why would you take this picture?
	The only reason you have pictures on your phone is so you can show them to somebody.
	To send it to somebody.
	When somebody gets a hold of your phone, you know, can I use your phone or can I see your pictures?
	You take control and you flip, flip, flip, flip.
	Oh, where did these pictures come from?
	Oh, no, I didn't mean to show you those.
	Hey!
	Hey!
	The basis is...
	You sound a lot like Freddy the Fireball.
	I don't know.
	Hey!
	Wanna get high?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, there's a bullcrap aspect to it.
	So what's your thesis?
	Well, there's a couple of things.
	The first thing, what blows me away, which I believe might have something to do with it...
	And I'm just looking at some of the articles, okay?
	So here we have TechCrunch, a letter to Jennifer Lawrence...
	This is TechCrunch.
	While it's not exactly clear how your privacy was violated and your property was stolen, there's apparently an underground ring of people who spend their precious lives perpetuating these kinds of actions, collecting stolen private images of both famous and non-famous women to gawk at in online back channels.
	Quite frankly, this is terrifying.
	Like, excuse me.
	Excuse me.
	The government is looking at your naked pictures.
	They're even cavalier by saying it was a police tool that the pervs...
	Here's the headline.
	The police tool that the pervs used to steal nude pics from Apple's iCloud.
	Now let me tell you a couple things.
	Whoever out there in tech Silicon Valley land is pretending that people give a crap about this, they don't care.
	These girls are happy, by the way.
	This is how you get a freaking career.
	This is Kim Kardashian.
	You get contracts.
	Because you can't do it overtly, even though you'd like to.
	You're not going to go on Playboy, because you actually lose money on that deal.
	And then you can't do a sex tape unless you really know how to do a sex tape.
	Yeah, very hard to do that.
	propaganda's not good for the mainstream actress like a Jennifer Lawrence.
	So we never get to see her naked, and she won't do, you know, she does body doubles in the movies and the rest of it.
	And so you, this is an opportunity, she gets a lot of free publicity, and she's appalled!
	Where is the outrage About the government spying on your stuff.
	No, no, no.
	Or the TSA when they were, oh, hold on, pretty girl, we gotta go to the machine again.
	No outrage.
	No, we don't care about that.
	This is, we are now over the hump.
	This is just proof.
	It is proof that the international health crisis is no longer fixable.
	You're sick, you love it, you deserve it, whatever you get, and you're pathetic.
	You're absolutely pathetic.
	And the way people are writing about, oh, this is, they should get 10, what the guy who got the Jennifer, what was it, the Jennifer Lawrence, let me see, where is it?
	He gets 10 years in jail.
	Scarlett Johansson, that guy.
	Oh, the Scarlett thing, yeah.
	He gets 10 years in prison.
	Why?
	Because he violated the Computer Secrecy Act or something.
	He should have paid him money.
	Yes.
	No, the guy is going to jail for 10 years because he illegally accessed the email.
	I didn't realize this.
	Scarlett Johansson should be ashamed of herself.
	Here it is.
	Prosecutors said Cheney illegally accessed the email accounts, which is what...
	Google does this!
	Except it's not illegal because you give them permission.
	Illegally accessed the email accounts of more than 50 people in the entertainment industry between November 2010 and October 2011.
	By the way, the British press, including Pierce Moron...
	We're hacking into people's voicemails.
	This guy's going to jail for 10 years.
	Christina Aguilera, whatever her name, Kunis, Scarlett Johansson, agreed to have their identities made public with the hopes that the exposure about the case would provide awareness about online intrusion.
	Hello?
	You're being violated by your own government and these people, they're in on it.
	I am convinced it's done.
	Everything, it's more crackpot than I could even imagine.
	Well, that's a good point.
	This can't be real.
	You can't actually be sending these people...
	And just look at all the press, John.
	It's like the outrage.
	This is so un...
	This is so wrong!
	So wrong!
	How about the whorish porn that these women are making?
	Hey, I'm all for it.
	I'm a consumer.
	But really...
	You put it on your phone, you took a picture of your coos open with a butt plug?
	And someone else has got to go to jail for essentially, excuse me for using the word, a public service?
	To you as well, lady with a butt plug?
	This is great.
	This is fantastic.
	This is the essence of privacy.
	This is the essence of the debate.
	This is a very Orwellian, I hate to use the word, but I'm going to.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's a very Orwellian, backward, backthink kind of thing where it's just, when you pull back and look at it objectively, if you looked at it through the lens of history, like from 100 years, you would see how it's ludicrous.
	Although, you know, the way it's going, I mean, you won't be able to even do that anymore, which is you won't be able to objectively look at anything.
	I mean, we had, you know, when I sent out the newsletter, we still get a lot of...
	We get a lot of...
	I'm sorry, let me just...
	I want to make one other point.
	Well, I'm just going to say that people make the point that we're the only ones, and before you make your point, we're the only ones that actually go about making these points.
	Essentially, we're the only...
	And it makes no sense to me.
	That's what it is.
	It's just baffling that why can we do this?
	Why, you know, it's just, I don't know.
	Why can we do what?
	Why can we do what?
	How can we discuss this, like, objectively with this thesis about the government?
	It's easy.
	I'm a rule follower.
	So if the rule is that we have to do it, then I'll do it.
	We follow the rules, John.
	That's how it's done.
	But if you take a picture of your kid in the bathtub, right?
	And someone sees this on your phone?
	You get a knock at the door from the Child Protective Services.
	You take a picture of you with a butt plug, selfie.
	Oh, so sad!
	Where are we?
	What planet did I just land on?
	Yeah, we had that story about the photographer who had all these...
	Yeah, he took the pictures of his daughter and people...
	He has a daughter.
	And now it's a big...
	She's two years old and she's just acting like a two-year-old.
	Like a two-year-old, jumping around naked.
	Now he's made a big expo and it's beautiful and I like what he's done where he's framed the pictures and then some of the comments that people put next to it.
	But this is how insane we are.
	We don't care that the government or Google, like it's any different, like there's not two sides of the same coin, that they're reading your mail and...
	Scanning for nudie pics of children.
	Okay, fine.
	Or whatever.
	Bomb.
	Terrorist threat.
	ISIS. Woo!
	Cut your head off.
	But then when you post a picture, you take a beautiful shot of your child being a child.
	You are made out to be a horrible...
	You're a pornographer.
	You're a child.
	You're ruining this kid's life.
	But then you take a picture of your coos with a butt plug.
	You're sad because your privacy has been violated by these evil hackers.
	I'm sorry.
	Check yourselves, people.
	Get off Facebook.
	Stop all this crap.
	Stop it.
	My conclusion?
	Here it comes.
	Nothing's going to change.
	Don't get off Facebook because everyone's going to get on Facebook.
	I am not on Facebook.
	I know.
	Which is why I want to invite you on the 20th of September because you're not on Facebook.
	There is a pod show reunion.
	Chris Beshears is putting it together in San Francisco.
	I'm coming out and you're coming too.
	You're my date.
	Do I have to wear a dress again?
	No.
	Waiting to see the butt plug.
	Who else is going to be there besides Chris?
	It's the good crew.
	Okay, we'll see.
	If Butler comes up.
	Of course Butler's coming.
	Free food.
	Of course, free food, free drink.
	I don't think it's free, actually.
	But no, I'm coming in for it because it seems like the cool people are doing it.
	It's a 10-year reunion, John.
	Can you believe it?
	10 years?
	Huh.
	All the good it did you.
	Yeah, thanks.
	Well, that's okay.
	You know what?
	It introduced me to you.
	No, we knew each other before.
	No, I would not have been in San Francisco.
	Well, yeah, we knew each other from the CNET pilot a million years ago, but I don't remember receiving a call from you until we met each other in the context of me being out there with Podshow.
	Yes, true.
	It's because, yes, I had to...
	So I would say that...
	I had the basis for this was...
	Since I did have known you as an acquaintance, the basis was that I had determined, I just decided as a writer that I'm looking around saying this is, you know, this gig is fine, but I can see the income.
	I expect a certain amount of money in my cash flow so I can pay the bills.
	Send kids to college and stuff.
	And I said, you know, I should, and Leo, of course, I was working with him all along.
	Yeah, for many years, right?
	For many, many years.
	Yeah, for many years.
	And he had, you know, he was the first guy I knew that started blogging and now he's podcasting.
	Oh no, netcasting.
	Yeah, netcasting.
	So he's podcasting.
	And I'm thinking to myself, jeez, I should be podcasting.
	I need to learn about podcasting.
	Correct.
	But I'm not going to just do it, and I think this is important.
	I've always been the type that believes you really have to be in the business and kind of learn it the hard way by...
	Working, you know, professionally.
	So I went to meet you to talk.
	You ended up putting me on, hiring me, which I managed to accomplish.
	That was a scam.
	It was a scam.
	And so I got the position, and I stayed there for, you know, as long as they kept me.
	But I learned from the, I really, I know what to do.
	You learned from the pro, is what you did.
	And the funny thing is, is that you go, you look back on what you're doing.
	I mean, I don't, you probably don't feel as much, You have a gear-laden setup.
	But I decided at some point that it's really not that hard to do this.
	Well, because you're a professional.
	You've done radio.
	It's funny because you go from not being able to do it and being kind of flustered and you don't get anything.
	And then once you get to the point where you know everything, you look back and you go, this is dumb!
	What's dumb?
	The podcasting thing?
	It's like anything.
	You can do it.
	Anyone can just...
	Right now, anybody out there could do it.
	But you can't do it because there's some...
	Well, you have to tell them.
	I can't explain it, but this happened to me as a writer.
	When I was a professional writer working for Infoworld as the editor, it was the copy editors that actually taught me to write professionally.
	Okay, but let's just hold on a second.
	So I can write, but I have never made, nor do I think I know how to make money writing.
	You've always, you know, you've basically been riding my coattails on audio podcasting.
	I mean, you're really doing nothing.
	You couldn't do it by yourself.
	Do what?
	What podcast have you done by yourself?
	I do the DHM Plug Show.
	By yourself?
	Yeah, I've done Tech 5 Report.
	Wow.
	Yeah, well, it's true.
	You made money off of that.
	Five minutes a day.
	I made sure that you got your salary paid.
	Well, it's fine.
	I'm just telling you, I could do a standalone podcast.
	I wouldn't want to.
	I think they're boring.
	I think people that just hook up their podcast start yakking away.
	Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Comic book.
	They're going to kill us all.
	Comic book.
	They're a comic book.
	I read a comic book the other day.
	Most bad podcasts end in the conversation about a comic book.
	Now, yeah, I could do it.
	Yeah, I know.
	But making money is hard.
	I have never made money with a solo podcast.
	Daily source code through pod show, but whenever I do a daily source code, no one sends me money.
	Like, hey, I do another show, and I do a show, and I'm like, thanks!
	I don't know that the single stand-alone guy yakking into the microphone or into the camera and using the microphone off of a Logitech cam.
	Right.
	I don't know that any of those guys make money, although it seems that some of the women who do makeup tips and things like that do make money.
	They make YouTube money, gold, internet money.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	It's doable.
	Mm-hmm.
	I think you can make money.
	I don't think I could because I don't think anybody would want to watch me yakking away by myself.
	And I think the only reason this podcast works so well is because it's a conversation that people are listening in on.
	No, no.
	But I could do it.
	No, that's not what it is.
	We are two talented mofos who are really working hard.
	No, come on.
	I'm going to say it.
	We make it look easy, but we've got talent.
	We know what we're doing here.
	We have talent.
	We have history.
	We have humor.
	No, I'm going to say it.
	We have humor.
	We do have humor.
	And we have...
	The best podcast in the universe!
	I don't care what you say.
	And we have an opportunity...
	To thank people for their courage and say, in the morning to you, John C. Dvorak?
	Well, that's interesting that you'd get to this a little sooner than normal, because on the last couple of shows, it seemed as if we were spending a lot of time talking about actual stories.
	I'm not sure that people are going to like me.
	I wanted to break this before we get into some...
	Come on.
	I only turned 50 once.
	People enjoy this.
	They want to hear a little bit of what I'm doing.
	I think that's true.
	And now that the spreadsheet's open...
	And by the way, I do have more information.
	We talked about the fappening.
	Come on, we talked about some real issues.
	And I've had more information from the intelligence network that we have here in the Netherlands.
	So we do have stuff to talk about.
	Let me say in the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	In the morning, all the ships and sea boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water.
	And also the dames and knights out there.
	And in the morning to all of our human resources in the chat room.
	Really nice chat room today.
	I don't know what it is.
	They're helpful today.
	They know that you're older and more powerful.
	Much, much more powerful.
	And in the morning to our artist, Sir Nussbaum brought us the art for episode 648.
	Thank you.
	The art has been...
	We almost don't want to talk about the artist right now because we have such an abundance of fantastic, well-thought-out art.
	We had a real problem picking the art.
	It's problematic, and I don't want people to be discouraged.
	There were three winners.
	In there.
	Noagendaartgenerator.com.
	You should just visit this thing and just browse through it.
	I guarantee one or more times you'd be, I should make a t-shirt out of this, which you can do.
	I know people who do this.
	Or I should frame this.
	Some of this is very frameable.
	We have a number of people to thank as executive producers and associate executive producers for show 649, the birthday show.
	And let's start with another in a series, a series of Insta Nights.
	This is the third in a row?
	I think it's the fifth.
	Oh, man.
	Shannon Jono.
	This is really helping us through the summer.
	This is highly appreciated.
	Yes, it's very appreciative.
	In our favorite place in Australia, Perth.
	Perth, the most beautiful.
	The reason is because we get more instant nights and contributors from Perth than any other part of Australia.
	Yeah.
	$1,000.99.
	And he says he's a long-time boner since show 219.
	Thanks for producing the greatest podcast in the universe.
	Please play the No Agenda National Anthem, which in this case we'll have to play on the spot.
	Right on, you bet.
	And he wants some general good luck karma for himself, and please keep up the great work.
	Shannon from Perth.
	Western Australia, and we don't have a special night name.
	And here's the question, of course.
	Shannon Male?
	It's Male.
	I sent him an email immediately.
	Because you knew this would come up.
	Yeah, I didn't want to dame Shannon.
	That would be so wrong.
	Here it comes!
	Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for your Gitmo Nation national anthem.
	Yes, singing is permitted.
	In the morning, Gitmo Nation, we are all charged up to me.
	Human resources and servants in all lands and all ships at sea.
	From the east to west, down under to the lowlands and beyond.
	We are happy and distracted slaves in our hiperation song.
	You've got karma.
	There you go.
	Wow, nice.
	That felt good.
	Now we have a screwy one here from Sir Don Tommaso de Toronto.
	Who has been supporting for several weeks in a row as well himself.
	Yes, he's a member of the 649 Club as of today.
	Nice, nice.
	He says, apologizing for the long note, but consider this a public service announcement.
	Parents, please watch your children.
	I'm calling out my son, Emilio, who is a frequent listener to the No Agenda show, but has never donated, as a douchebag.
	Douchebag!
	His son, he's calling his son out as a douchebag.
	Yeah, I thought that was odd.
	Now there's some problems here that we have to discuss.
	As if that wasn't enough, I took my eye off him for just a second, and while I wasn't looking, he succumbed to the ice bucket challenge, despite having heard your expert analysis on why this was just a feel-good scam.
	A moral self-license.
	Right, which is a little different.
	I explained that the cold water was in lieu of making a donation, but he insisted I make a donation to the ALS Society, and then in his name, nonetheless, he made the donation.
	He made his dad make the donation?
	Yeah.
	Well, hold on a second.
	Douchebag!
	I'm therefore challenging him to pay me back, the money he owes me, and I will donate it all to the No Agenda show to get him started on the path to redemption and maybe knighthood.
	I'm sure I'm not the only bad parent who let their child get into this mess, and I encourage any other listener who is expecting an ALS refund from their spawn to donate the full amount to the best podcast in the universe instead.
	I will not take my eye off him again.
	Your, what do you say, embarrassed mouth hitter from the north.
	Well, sir, Don Tomasio de Toronto, thank you very much.
	And it's nice to have another club member, 649er.
	You will be an executive producer and the sole member of the 649er club.
	That's great.
	Thank you.
	We will continue with Dame Joan Dottifray in Morgantown, West Virginia.
	The Earl's Stomping Grounds, $333.33.
	I'd like to wish a happy birthday to Adam on his big 5-0.
	And also my son, Griffin, who is turning 16 on September 6th.
	Aww.
	And she wants a little LGY right there as she says that.
	Okay.
	Yay!
	Little girl, yay!
	Next, Adam and Mickey, how did you get your global entry situation go so smoothly?
	After filling out four applications online for the family, paying the $140 per application, and receiving approval, Alex, both boys, and I did a day trip all the way to freaking D.C. for this bullshit interview process.
	Three and a half hours, one way.
	The interviews lasted 15 minutes total.
	We all got approved, but the stupid cards had never worked for the pre-check.
	Well, hold on.
	Oh!
	No.
	Oh, no, no.
	You don't use the card for the pre-check.
	You use your number and you enter that.
	You have a number.
	You have a slave number.
	And I think it's on the card, maybe.
	And when you book your tickets, you need to enter that number as a trusted traveler, whatever.
	You have to enter that in.
	Okay, so you have helped her enormously with this information, I'm guessing.
	Anyways, because she still complains within the letter.
	It's important to me, since we often fly domestically, and the trip to airport is easily an hour and a half, and I'm a nervous wreck if I'm not at the airport at least two hours before the flight time, because one never knows...
	I can just see Dave Joni being nervous like that.
	It makes a lot of sense.
	Yeah, I got it.
	Security lines, you never know how long the security line is going to be, which is true, and there's no way of finding out, by the way, which is my pet peeve.
	But I have to say that the cards work beautifully for immigration coming back from France.
	No lines at all.
	I wish there was a car for frequent pat-down flyers that I could flash so I wouldn't have to stand there for 20 minutes, which is essentially what you will get.
	Yeah, that's the pre-check.
	If the airport has it, not all airports have TSA pre.
	True.
	But D.C. has got to have it.
	D.C. must have it.
	Well, she's not going to...
	I don't think she's flying out of D.C. because she says...
	Oh, she's from Morgantown, right.
	Yeah, but, right, Morgantown's where she's going because the D.C. is three and a half hours away.
	She's driving an hour and a half, so it's someplace closer.
	Anyway, apparently I know I have to go to the facts section of the HSA global entry website to try and straighten out the pre-check issue.
	But Adam straightened it out for you.
	And she needs a shot of karma.
	And also she needs a de-douching because I feel dirty for not donating for a while and I would like an L-Sharpton Resist We Much and a Grand Green Wall done by Adam.
	Live.
	Okay, and a karma?
	Live jingles, but one for Adam and Griffin's birthday.
	I can't take the karma later during the group jingle.
	Love you.
	So she needs a...
	She already got the LGY, but she needs a Resist We Much followed by a live Grand Green Wall and then a karma.
	Anything else?
	Am I missing anything?
	Do I have it all now?
	What?
	I'm looking, I'm looking to see if there's anything else you want.
	De-douching.
	Oh, de-douching, of course.
	We'll start with that.
	You've been de-douched.
	But resist, we much.
	We must and we will much about that be committed.
	We rather run!
	You've got karma.
	Alright.
	Damn Joni, you just take your number.
	Your approval number that you got the email from is actually that you used that number.
	I'm pretty sure it's on the card as well.
	And you enter that in the...
	When you book your tickets, you can book and there's a...
	It either says trusted traveler or good slave rule follower citizen...
	Some field like that, and then it will...
	Yeah, I think I've seen this field.
	Yeah, and then you get your pre-check on your ticket, then you know you're good to go.
	And somewhere around that area you put your birthday...
	Yeah.
	You have to have all that crap on this stupid...
	I can actually...
	Let me...
	I can take a look.
	Oh, it's not on this.
	No, I can't take a look.
	Sorry.
	Wrong word.
	Yeah, she'll find it.
	Now that she knows to look for it, she'll find it.
	She can email me if she's having issues.
	But this is a service we provide to our nights and games.
	Well, you can...
	Actually, what she should do is not email you because she's probably flying on USA Airways or some crap.
	And so she should just call the airline and demand they tell her where to put this number.
	That's what I would do.
	Sir James Pyers in Parts Unknown sent 33333 with a small note.
	He says, complimented me for the newsletter and said he enjoyed the newsletter.
	Please forward the best birthday wishes to Adam.
	You two are the best.
	And that is Sir Wire of the Hidden Jewel.
	Mm-hmm.
	So we'll put that, SirWire of the Hidden Jewel.
	Gavin Boud, associate executive producer for show 649, $250.33 from Sydney, Australia.
	G'day, gents.
	It was Adam's impersonation of the Aussie prime minister.
	Ha, ha, ha.
	By dropping Vegemite relief to Mohammed and my laugh-out-loud moment at work.
	That made me realize why I need to donate again.
	I will soon join the illustrious ranks of the No Agenda Knights.
	But until then, please de-douche me.
	And can I also have a bingo boom music mix and some soisant neuf karma?
	With a croissant.
	Please keep up the amazing work.
	It was awesome and not weird at all.
	Yes.
	It's funny how many people come up to me and say, wow, this is not weird that you're so awesome to see in your amazing way.
	People do this to me.
	You've been de-douched.
	You've got karma. - Ah!
	Hell yeah.
	Hell yeah!
	And that concludes our...
	We only have one...
	Yes, sir.
	I just hit the brakes.
	Kind of.
	This will be...
	I want to remind people we do have a show coming up shortly.
	I think it's on Sunday.
	Another one where I will be coming to you from Gitmo Nation Lowlands.
	May I remind you that no matter...
	This will be the last one from there, right?
	The last one from here.
	But no matter where we are in the world, either of us, or both of us sometimes different, we always, always bring you the show.
	And I believe that we still bring you the same quality, maybe even better with some extra international flair, some information from local information, which I have for you.
	Travel tips.
	Travel tips, yes indeed.
	And I believe this makes us the best podcast in the universe.
	I think that next week's Thursday show, where you'll be back in Austin, Texas, you will have some interesting information about using all these things.
	Yes, my global entry.
	The global entry coming back in the United States should be just as smooth as silk.
	We also need you to continue to go out there and do very important work of propagating our formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Shut up, slave.
	Shut up, slave.
	Hey, chat room. - No.
	If you want to talk about Chromebooks, F off.
	Chromebooks?
	Yeah, people just, there's a whole conversation about Chromebooks.
	Chromebooks are the biggest scam ever.
	Yeah, well that's the conversation.
	Now, a couple of things from the local information intelligence network that need to be at least highlighted.
	So not discussed.
	One.
	Scotland.
	Had a couple of Brits at the party.
	Oh yeah, they love the Scots.
	My gangster friend, by the way, my gangster friend Michelle, he says UKIP, he's all in.
	This is a guy, he runs strip joints and stuff, and he's like, she says UKIP is going to be, they will be in the next coalition, there'll be no way around them.
	He says this is, he feels the whole country is going completely to crap.
	I said this years ago, and I remember when we first started talking about Nigel Farage, and we had both of us.
	We still get people saying, hey, crisis!
	Yes, he did.
	Yeah, okay, fine.
	Yeah, you're full of crap.
	That guy's a loser.
	There's no chance that he's ever going to go anywhere, and I'll tell you why, and then they'd have their opinion, and they would send us these long-winded notes, and it was like, well, you sound like you know what you're talking about, but apparently, looking back on it, you didn't know what you were talking about.
	Exactly.
	Now we have the vote coming up on September 18th.
	They are in the so-called quiet period.
	This is a very...
	Oh, it's the 18th?
	I thought it was the 8th.
	No, I believe it's the 18th.
	Would you check that for...
	I will.
	I believe it's the 18th.
	I thought it was...
	Okay.
	Scottish referendum date.
	Maybe the 8th.
	Now let's check.
	But they have a quiet period in the UK whenever there's a vote or, I guess, a referendum as well.
	They're not allowed.
	So the debates are over.
	There's no more politicking.
	Yeah, I'm getting the word.
	No, you got it right.
	This is 18th.
	No more politicking.
	And, of course, I needed to get the scoop.
	And this is one of my friends who is the royalist as well.
	Do you remember we were in France?
	He has a house there.
	And then he, you know, when the prince kid was born.
	And they were all goo-goo-ga-ga watching the door for hours for it to open, and here's the kid.
	He says, and he really approached this from a historical perspective.
	He said, you know, this is the Braveheart moment for the Scots.
	They have been trying this independence thing for 400 years.
	He says, I think...
	There will be a yes vote separate by 2%, at which point there will be a do-over, which is traditional, and then it will be a no vote.
	But he believes the first vote will be yes by a margin of 2%.
	It'll be too close.
	Like Ireland with the Lisbon Treaty.
	And it will be a do-over.
	And probably at that point, everyone will go back and it'll be no.
	But he said the Scots, at this point, his feeling is they really...
	They've been trying this for so long and they have that Braveheart kind of vibe.
	And they don't give a crap about if they use the pound, the euro, the wampum.
	They just want to see if they just want to do it.
	And they have this opportunity.
	And he really believes that they are going to get the yes.
	But of course, you know, we are in a globalist society that will get turned back and there'll be some hanging Chad crap or whatever.
	Then everyone will get scared.
	Well, you already said this a couple of shows ago.
	Which is why...
	Well, he gave me 2%, which I thought was a good percentage.
	He gave me a real percentage.
	He said it would be that close.
	But I like hearing from the publicatarian the...
	I think that's what it's called.
	When you run a pub?
	Are you in a publicatarian?
	No, it's called a...
	I think it's publicatarian.
	Publicatarian...
	Publican.
	Publican doesn't sound right.
	Publican.
	You're a Republican.
	Pelican.
	I don't know what he is.
	Pelican.
	Yeah, no, I think there would be a possibility that they would just barely pass it and then have second thoughts and go back.
	And also when you do the redo, it makes people go, oh, this sucks.
	We're never going to, we might as well just not vote.
	And I think the voting numbers go way down and the yes gets through.
	Or the no gets through.
	Because it's rigged.
	Of course it's rigged.
	I hope they do split off, and I would hope that doesn't happen and they actually split off.
	I'd like to see what comes of it.
	Well, it would be fantastic to watch, and it's good.
	We need material.
	Now, Willow was in from Italy.
	And she's really running a very interesting life right now.
	Italy is so...
	Actually, Italy is really ahead of the game because they don't trust...
	You can't walk around chip and pin.
	You've got to use cash in Italy.
	The people don't trust it.
	They don't trust their government.
	Of course, with good reason.
	They barely have internet in most places.
	So there's not a lot of...
	Not everyone has a smartphone.
	They still have a phone.
	They have smoke signals.
	So they're very, very wary, very tinfoil hattie.
	But the big problem that is every single day, and you don't hear about this in Europe, you don't hear about it in America, it is the most, I believe, the most underreported news every single day.
	And in Italy, of course, it is the news, and mainly newspapers.
	Thousands.
	She says thousands of people arrive from Libya and North Africa by boat to Lampedusa, the island.
	And she says it is out of control.
	Other countries like Malta are just saying, no, go away, don't come here.
	And the Italians are like, well, we can't leave these people.
	And they're dying.
	They're drowning.
	You know, they're not making it.
	Like, oh, I can see the coast of Lampedusa, which is the island off there in Italy.
	And they capsize, die.
	Huge boats sometimes.
	Also rubber dinghies.
	Thousands per day.
	And this island, which used to be a tourist destination, is filled with dying, filthy, disease-ridden people who have nowhere to go.
	And Italy, they want to go to Holland and France and Britain and...
	But, of course, they have no papers.
	It is a humanitarian crisis which is not being discussed at all.
	Which, by the way, thank you, Obama, for bombing Libya.
	It gets...
	Yeah, good work.
	It gets discussed when one of the boats overturns and all, you know, 500 people are killed.
	That has been discussed.
	Yeah.
	But the day-after-day thing that's going on that you just described is, no, it's not being discussed.
	Thousands, she says.
	Thousands.
	Huh.
	Well, why would we bother discussing that?
	After all, there's ISIS. We need a jingle or something for ISIS. ISIS. At the party...
	Of course, this has just happened.
	We just had the second video, the second beheading video, which, of course, we have in the show notes, we have the original video, which was found by sight.
	We have discussed these people before.
	S-I-T-E. This is the bullcrab outfit that finds videos.
	These are the guys that found the...
	Didn't they find the Bin Laden?
	Hold on a second.
	I have it here.
	They found...
	This is the Sight Intelligence Group.
	Non-profit research organization.
	They found the Bin Laden Just for Men...
	Men for Beards video.
	2007.
	And I have a couple of...
	A little bit of background on this outfit.
	But of course when you say to someone...
	Did you see the video?
	Did you see the video?
	No.
	No.
	No, no.
	I don't want to see that gore.
	I said, did you see the first one?
	No, no, no.
	They took his head off, didn't they?
	No.
	And then I read this.
	This is an interesting article that came out.
	Just to show you, this comes back to how everything is all in cahoots.
	This is from, I think, the Australian.
	Tech giants used Foley experience to halt spread of the Sotloff video.
	Tech giants.
	Let me quote from this.
	A tech company's drafted plans to scrub the web after a grisly video showing the beheading of an American journalist by Islamic State militants and implemented them this week after a second killing, a Silicon Valley insider said.
	Video showing the death of James Foley last month ricocheted through social networks in what many feared was a propaganda coup for the extremists.
	The tech official said a YouTube video showing another beheading of American journalist Stephen Sodloff was deleted, slowing the spread of posts linking to it.
	According to terms of service for many social media companies, the posting of threats and gratuitously violent content is cause for suspension.
	The official who spoke only on condition of anonymity because companies are grappling with increasing pressure to impose more censorship on the web would not say whether the developments came at the request of governments or ordinary users.
	This is...
	It is so genius what is taking place.
	And I hope when we're long gone, someone has at least typed this up on some paper somewhere so they can read a transcript of our show.
	And maybe there's...
	I don't know.
	So I hope there's some evidence of this.
	I put the original MP4 video on our server so you can download it and take a look at it if you want, which you should do.
	This is the biggest bunch of crap This is so lame.
	Can you imagine when a guy is going to be beheaded that the evil Islamic State extremist took the time to dress his lav microphone cable and put it under his shirt this time?
	I thought that was a nice touch.
	What I did notice, I was watching the beginning of this where there was a little moment of a close-up.
	Can we play the audio?
	I'd like to play the audio, but go ahead.
	Let me just say this.
	Yeah, please, please, please.
	I, having been to the NAB a number of times, and I'm always, I have a certain hobby kind of interest, and one of them is lighting and green screens.
	Yes.
	And there's this guy from, he was a consultant, I guess one of the top green screen guys, and he was bitching and moaning about some of the mildest little gaffes That people would do.
	He says, I don't know how they can even get away with it and not get fired.
	And they look fine to me, but then I started fine-tuning.
	That is a green screen that these two people are behind.
	So there's no desert behind them.
	And then, to make matters worse, I believe, because of the consistency...
	There was a big fan blowing on there.
	Oh yeah, oh yeah.
	I'm totally, I'm all in.
	This is a certain kind of wind, and if it's normal winds, it's gusts.
	You'd be there, and all of a sudden you're windy, and then it's not.
	This was a steady...
	You'd think there'd be some sand kicking up or something like that.
	Right, exactly.
	Because it was pretty windy.
	They had this band aimed right at these two guys on a green screen.
	And it's, again, we have, and I think you've linked to any of this or not, but we have real ISIS beheadings.
	You could find those.
	They got the flags.
	They got a bunch of ISIS stuff going on.
	It's not some lone guy.
	It's a big knife and they cut it from the back with their right hand.
	Not a little pencil knife with the left hand.
	This is so phony.
	And the mainstream is...
	Maybe picking up, because they keep saying, they keep doing a size, like, well, if true, they usually allegedly, if true, if it's legitimate.
	John, F that.
	The president legitimizes it.
	The president is legitimizing this.
	Are you kidding me?
	This is embarrassment to the country.
	Hold on a second.
	Here's the president of the United States legitimizing this.
	Finally.
	I want to say that today the prayers of the American people are with the family of a devoted and courageous journalist, Stephen Sotloff.
	Overnight, our government determined that tragically Stephen was taken from us in a horrific act of violence.
	We cannot even begin to imagine the agony that everyone who loves Stephen is feeling right now, especially his mother, his father, and his younger sister.
	So today our country grieves with them.
	Like Jim Foley before him, Steve's life stood in sharp contrast to those who murdered him so brutally.
	They make the absurd claim that they kill in the name of religion, but it was Stephen, his friends say, who deeply loved the Islamic world.
	His killers try to claim that they defend the oppressed, but it was Stephen who traveled across the Middle East risking his life to tell the story of Muslim men and women demanding justice and dignity.
	Whatever these murderers think they'll achieve by killing innocent Americans like Stephen, they have already failed.
	They failed because, like people around the world, Americans are repulsed by their barbarism.
	We will not be intimidated.
	Their horrific acts only unite us as a country and stiffen our resolve to take the fight against these terrorists.
	And those who make the mistake of harming Americans will learn that we will not forget and that our reach is long and that justice will be served.
	So that was one minute and 40 seconds about a journalist.
	I never hear the president say, I'd like to think about the mother and the father and the family of Sergeant Christopher W. Mulally, 26 of Eureka, California, died in Gardez, Afghanistan as a result of a non-combat-related incident.
	Sergeant First Class Matthew Leggett, 39, of Ruskin, Florida, died in Kabul, Afghanistan, of injuries received when he was engaged by the enemy.
	Sergeant First Class Samuel Hairston, 35, of Houston, Texas, died in Ghazni, Afghanistan, injuries sustained when his unit was engaged by enemy small arms fire.
	I hate this president for this.
	That's what I hate him for.
	I really despise him for this.
	Let's go back to this other thing with these two journalists.
	What do you think happened to these guys?
	There's a couple of possibilities.
	One, they were embedded intelligence officers, and this was an extraction.
	I have a picture from one of our producers who's in Syria, dated just last week, of Sotlov manning a big anti-aircraft gun on the back of what looks like an ISIS vehicle.
	I think this guy...
	First of all, let's make no mistake.
	United States...
	I have intel.
	United States military personnel trained these guys.
	Generals were in on this.
	This is no...
	I'm not lying.
	This is knowledge.
	People know this.
	And I think this guy is...
	Either part of intelligence or...
	I don't think he's dead.
	Did you see the head at the end with one eye closed and one eye open?
	Are you kidding me?
	ITM.IM slash newhead, everybody, if you want to see the MP4. ITM.IM slash newhead.
	And let me play the audio of a man who was about to have his head chopped off.
	We already know that he has seen his predecessor's head not get chopped off.
	And I love the sound effects they got now.
	And this is called the second message in blood.
	Some bullcrap like that.
	They now have got the flashing television screen effect that Anonymous use, by the way.
	I am Steven Joel Sotloff.
	I'm sure you know exactly who I am by now and why I am appearing before you.
	And so now it's the microphone, it's a live microphone, and they've dressed the cable underneath, because, I mean, we might as well make it look good.
	And he's reading the cue card.
	And now it is time for my message.
	Obama, your foreign policy of intervention in Iraq was supposed to be for the preservation of American lives and interests.
	So why is it that I'm having to pay the price of your interference with my life?
	Am I not an American citizen?
	You've spent billions of U.S. taxpayers' dollars, and we've lost thousands of our troops in our previous fighting against the Islamic State.
	So where's the American people's interest in reigniting this war?
	From what little I know about foreign policy, I remember a time when you could not win an election without promising to bring our troops back home from Iraq and from Afghanistan and to close down Guantanamo.
	And why...
	How come they didn't put the little foam thing on the lap?
	I mean...
	The fan was blowing up.
	Yeah, the fan is blowing up.
	Here you are now, Obama, nearing the end of your term and having achieved none of the above.
	And whoever wrote this, first of all, bad acting, bad writing, screenplay crap, technical awards zero.
	And the Stephen Lee marching us, the American people.
	I mean, costume, the orange jumpsuit, oh, really?
	This is how you...
	Are we supposed to really now think this is a prisoner because it's like a Guantanamo Bay thing?
	We have...
	We have watched a lot of ISIS videos and we've seen a lot of stuff from ISIS. Never an orange outfit.
	Right.
	We have never seen the color orange in any situation.
	Into a blazing fire.
	I'm back, Obama.
	And I'm back because of your arrogant form.
	And by the way, now they've switched.
	This is a new...
	So the law is no longer on the prisoner.
	Now the law is on the man in black.
	So they switched...
	Stop!
	Hold on a second.
	We're going to switch that mic.
	...on policy towards the Islamic State because of your insistence in continuing your bombings in Al-Mali Zumaan and Mossadam, despite our serious warnings.
	You, Obama, have yet again, through your actions, killed yet another American citizen.
	So just as your missiles continue to strike our people, our knife will continue to strike the necks of your people.
	I got to ask you a question, John.
	This is significantly different in that the script is Obama, Obama, Obama, Obama.
	This is something we cannot overlook.
	This is not just, we hate the West, we hate America.
	This is very specific, saying Obama.
	I feel this is different.
	That's a good point.
	I didn't pick up on that, but you're right.
	Instead of death to America, it's death to Obama kind of thing.
	This is about him.
	But only about him.
	You're in your last year of your term.
	Obama, Obama, Obama.
	Wind.
	Oh, now he's cutting his head.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry for all the screams and all the blood spurting.
	Oh, wait!
	There's none of that.
	All right.
	So cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
	No blood spurt.
	Nothing.
	And then we see the guy laying there with a photoshopped head in a picture for three seconds.
	Now let's get the British guy.
	Now we have a Brit.
	Because we have to scare everybody.
	So now we have the British prisoner.
	Okay.
	And we're going to hold him up and...
	Alright.
	We take this opportunity to warn those governments who've entered this evil alliance of America against the Islamic State to back off and leave our people alone.
	And there's like some direction there at the end.
	Did you hear that?
	It's kind of hard to hear, but it's like someone saying, and cut.
	I can't...
	Here, listen again.
	...people alone.
	Yeah, there was some mumbling going on back there.
	Now, I don't think it was and cut.
	It's a wrap.
	It's a wrap.
	It's a wrap, everybody.
	Get that guy back.
	Hey, get up.
	Let's go.
	Let's look at this site intelligence outfit.
	All right, what's the URL? Let me see.
	So they sell access to their intelligence.
	S-I-T-E group, I guess it is.
	Let me see.
	It's siteintelgroup.com, everybody.
	They have...
	So if you look at it for individual customers, you can subscribe to the Jihadist Threat Monitoring Service or the White Supremacist Threat Monitoring Service.
	Can you give me a fucking break, people?
	And Sight Intelligence Group is pleased to announce the launch of Insight on Terrorism and Extremism, a blog devoted to covering, analyzing, and commenting on extremism.
	Monitoring service for enterprise.
	Rapid full translation of primary source jihadist media and access to jihadist videos.
	$2,500 per month if you want to get their intelligence.
	So, here's what's rather interesting about the Sight Intelligence Group.
	And this, I need to give some props to Brian the Gay Crusader, who apparently has no gay work at all.
	What does that mean?
	Well, he's not working on LGBTQIAP issues anymore.
	He's just working on...
	Who is?
	Right.
	I think if ISIS had any brains to kill some gay people, how many times do I have to say it?
	Your suggestions fall on deaf ears.
	But it's a good idea.
	Well, it is a good idea.
	Here's an interesting connection.
	The current address, the past address of SITE, S-I-T-E, the SITE Intel Group, was 4200 Wisconsin Avenue, Northwest Washington, D.C.
	The current address is 4938 Hampton Lane, Bethesda, Maryland, which is a strip mall.
	Both locations is a UPS store, formerly mailboxes, etc.
	So this is a mailbox, PO box, or it's a drop.
	However, in looking into the tenants of 4200 Wisconsin Avenue Northwest, I stumbled onto other tenants.
	United States Department of State Telephone Directory of Chanceries, and you'll never guess who also operates at that address, 4200 Wisconsin Avenue Northwest.
	The state of Qatar.
	Oh, Qatar.
	Yep, yep, yep, yep.
	Isn't it interesting that the woman, the woman co-founder of this outfit, who found the Bin Laden beards video in 2007, at the same time had offices in the same building as the state of Qatar.
	If you don't understand that this is an intelligence, probably a psychological intelligence operation, then please.
	Tom Clancy novel a couple years ago came out.
	Eric Rosenbaum writes us.
	Novel Executive Order.
	It's always fun to see what Clancy's doing.
	The last month, the news about ISIS has a familiar storyline, so I dove back into the boxes with old books and I found the Executive Order Clancy novel.
	In this novel, there's a merge of countries, Iran and Iraq, and it's called UIR, the United Islamic Republic.
	The UIR makes a bid for superpower status by attacking Saudi Arabia.
	Following a series of Iranian-backed terrorist attacks, including the release of an Ebola strain, the United Islamic Republic declares war on both Saudi Arabia and Kuwait.
	Meanwhile, China accidentally shoots down a Taiwanese airliner.
	Yeah, that Clancy, man.
	That guy's good.
	That guy is good.
	He's good, man.
	You just gotta appreciate what he's doing.
	What he was doing.
	He's dead.
	I have...
	Of course, I'm watching a lot of BBC over here.
	I don't know if we mentioned it on the show.
	We were talking about another country that needs some taking down.
	Do you remember what country that was?
	You said Saudi Arabia?
	Yeah.
	I can't remember.
	India.
	Oh yeah, no, India, yeah, no, we have to infect them with Ebola.
	Other news, because Al-Qaeda's leader Ayman al-Zawahiri says that there is now an Indian branch of his group.
	He says it will raise the flag of jihad across South Asia.
	In the video statement, Zawahiri said that the new force would break down national borders to unite the region's Muslims from India to Myanmar and Bangladesh.
	There's a new branch of Al-Qaeda, a new branch, opening a new branch in India.
	This is a problem.
	This is a problem.
	Because there is a lot...
	I don't think it's...
	I think there's a problem.
	I think somebody's not...
	I think somebody's making an error here.
	They think that the Islamic population of India, which is huge, it's higher...
	I think there are more Muslims in India than there are in Pakistan.
	And the reason that they're in India is because they don't like all that crap that goes on in Pakistan, which is Sharia law, and you can't do this, you can't do that.
	So they're very adamant.
	They're not Radicalizable.
	So whatever we witness would probably be a real pile of bull crap.
	Oh yeah, what's coming?
	Well, I think there's other ways to go.
	And of course, everywhere we have reports that ISIS and the Islamic terrorist groups are operating on the Mexican border.
	This is a thought mistake I want to give to people.
	So the country is being partially terrorized by saying that ISIS is in Mexico, they're on the border, and they're coming to kill you.
	Now, you've heard this, John.
	It's hilarious.
	Now, let me tell you something about the Mexican border.
	I can't speak for Arizona, but...
	Even if you went into Austin and you said, have you heard about ISIS coming in through the border, through Texas to come and kill you?
	Here's what you're going to get.
	Bring it on, mofo.
	We are locked and loaded and armed and dangerous, and this is what we've been waiting for.
	We got tired of shooting cans like Mexicans, Puerto Ricans.
	No, we want some...
	ISIS meat!
	Bring it on!
	This is what you'll get.
	People forget.
	Texas, this is what Texas is bred for.
	We're ready for this.
	We want it.
	Please, come!
	With your black outfit and your white Nikes and your Toyota.
	Come on!
	We'll ram right over you.
	Do people ever think about Texas as a state that has fought and fought and fought and knows how to...
	Shoot.
	Yeah, we got 50 calibers here.
	We're no joke.
	We're not a joke.
	Well, it's ludicrous because there's no ISIS coming in from the border.
	But even to write that is ludicrous.
	Well, they even suggested that ISIS is a threat to the United States is ludicrous.
	Thank you.
	And I don't care even if they're threatening us, even though I don't know that's even true.
	It's bullcrap.
	They got no Air Force.
	They got no Navy.
	They got no way of getting over here.
	What are you talking about?
	They got 100 Americans with passports that will come over here and do what?
	John...
	How can you say that?
	Surely you know Bob Bear.
	This is from Sunday Show.
	ISIS is much bigger than the 10,000 to 15,000 people we keep hearing.
	They are being supported by the tribes in eastern Syria, by the tribes in Anbar province, not all of them, by some of them, and by the Sunni middle class.
	And we're seeing a Sunni uprising.
	And they may not share the ideology with ISIS, but they're going to use them until they don't need them anymore.
	And additionally, they've seized gold, they've got the oil fields around Derisor, they've got wheat production, they control a large part of the Tigris River, electricity generation, refineries, and I go on and on.
	So they are self-sustaining.
	Refineries!
	They got everything!
	Self-sustaining.
	Can I play you this clip?
	This is Douglas Herbert, who was, until this moment, was my favorite foreign correspondent at France Van Catt.
	And he was the one covering and gave us the heads up on Crimea and all the rest of it.
	As we've been saying all along.
	Sorry, sorry.
	So what I did, he has now been taken off.
	Now he's in Paris again.
	He's been taken off the beat.
	And put in the office.
	And he now has a script to read, which he can't do very well.
	And he's mumbling.
	And so I clipped this.
	The first part is pretty straight.
	Then I stopped listening and just started putting in every time he said basically.
	And he is now, he doesn't know what to say.
	It's bull crap.
	And he's just stumbling around with whatever this script is about ISIS being this big threat.
	And it just becomes a mishmash.
	Another good man down.
	Another good man down, exactly.
	As we've been saying, all are wrong.
	This is a group that is even...
	All are wrong, by the way.
	Stop.
	He says, as we've been saying, all are wrong.
	Are wrong?
	Is he of the Grand Greenwald Don't Rob?
	No, I think this is just the...
	Throughout this thing, I don't have all of the gaffes, but he keeps making these little gaffes that try to undermine what they want him to say.
	But he says, all are wrong?
	Yes, he says all are wrong.
	I listened to it like two or three times.
	All are wrong.
	That's pretty bad, John, when you say all are wrong.
	Let's listen to all are wrong.
	As we've been saying all are wrong.
	That's great!
	Don't put up.
	By the way, I had coffee with someone the other day, a woman, and she says she hates our show.
	She doesn't hate our show, but she really hates it when we make fun of how people talk.
	Yeah, that's what I said.
	Why?
	Well, you should make fun of how people talk.
	Why?
	What's wrong with that?
	It tells a lot about who they are and what's going on with their life.
	It's communication.
	It's words.
	It's very important to listen to what people are saying.
	She hasn't been awake.
	She's young.
	She's young.
	No, she's awake, but she's young.
	As we've been saying all along, this is a group that is even extreme by Al-Qaeda standards.
	Al-Qaeda almost comes out looking moderate, right?
	which isn't.
	Amnesty International has really denounced what it sees when it looks at this group as a systematic campaign.
	It uses the word systematic campaign of ethnic cleansing carried out, and these are amnesty's words, on a historic scale by ISIS.
	We have basically wave after boys, anyone basically over the age of 12, basically a campaign to drive non-Muslims.
	What's happening?
	Basically, you have Islamic State, and what they are is basically the root of it is they are slavishly devoted.
	That's the only word for it.
	That was basically the law of the land under the...
	Yeah, listen, you know, our analyst will tell you, is basically saying they want to build regional alliances.
	So basically they're trying to get, obviously, the truth of the matter is, many Muslims, basically, there are people who say you have to...
	Yes, it does not deserve a clip of the day because it's, you know, it's manufactured.
	You said, oh, wow, by the way.
	Yes, I said, oh, wow, again?
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	Crap.
	Basically.
	But anyway, there you have it.
	He's basically talking about basically.
	Basically.
	Which means you're...
	It's lying.
	It's all an indicator this is bullcrap.
	It's a lie.
	When you go off like that, it's a lie.
	I'm sorry.
	It's just a lie.
	The truth of the matter.
	He said that one too.
	I heard that.
	I'm concerned about the oh wow thing.
	You should be.
	It's very subtle.
	I'm concerned.
	Thank you for calling.
	I have a new sounding device that I'll pull out maybe later.
	I'm still all for the shocking each other.
	I like the shocking thing.
	That would stop me from saying, what is my...
	I can't even remember.
	That would stop me in my tracks.
	Oh, yeah, my comment when I say weird.
	Okay, I wrote this down, and we need to talk about this now.
	It is very important for the future of this program, and for you, when it comes down to it, I think I can say that, when it comes down to it.
	That's a new one.
	When it comes down to it.
	When it comes down to brass tacks.
	Have you ever had a brass tack?
	I've sat on one, I'm sure.
	I'm sure someone put one on my chair once when I was a kid.
	A brass tack.
	September 10th is an interesting day, and this is the Throttle the Net day.
	Oh, okay.
	Yes, we do have to talk about this.
	I forgot to put it on my list of things to talk about.
	This is why...
	This is the biggest crock ever.
	Battleforthenet.com...
	Then you'll see.
	Yes.
	I'm reading it out.
	September 10th is the internet slowdown.
	Cable companies want to slow down and break your favorite sites for profit.
	To fight back, let's cover the web with symbolic loading icons to remind everyone what an internet without net neutrality would look like and drive record numbers of emails and calls to lawmakers.
	Are you in that?
	No.
	The other side of this, there are two sides.
	This is, I believe, funded by Comcast.
	I'm pretty sure, even though they say Comcast is bad, I believe they're funded by Comcast because Comcast, Time Warner, as they merge, they're the ones that benefit from being institutionalized as a commodity and And regulated.
	And regulated, because then there will be...
	By an FCC they own.
	Yes.
	Now, the other side of that, it was very poor marketing.
	Let's make this clear.
	They will own the FCC, and they will make it so the FCC rules against all the little guys every chance it gets.
	This is the biggest scam.
	I can't imagine people falling for this.
	And let's listen to...
	Let's look at the companies that are in on this.
	Let me see.
	And they have all these loading...
	So this is fightforthefuture.org.
	We've been following these guys for a while.
	And the...
	Let me see if I can find it here.
	When you see all the organizations that are a part of this bullcrap...
	And by the way, you know, it's been a very, very good campaign.
	People have taken it.
	There's hook, line, and sinker.
	Hook, line, and sinker.
	They're all in.
	And remember that we have read to you every single, every time we've looked, and this is the mayors for net neutrality, and everyone's all in on this, to protect internet freedom.
	This will beget people.
	Legal content.
	Legal network traffic.
	I repeat, not legal.
	Lawful, I'm sorry.
	Lawful content and lawful network traffic.
	This is what this is about.
	This is the true regulation.
	And as you know, hate speech is now illegal in Europe.
	The hate speech.
	It is not lawful.
	Right, and while you're here now in Europe, you're getting called out for making funny voices, which will be a version of hate speech.
	Hate speech, yes, because I'm mocking.
	For us to do our skits.
	Yes, I will be ridiculing.
	Unless we can get categorized as a comedy podcast, maybe we'll get lucky.
	Maybe, but they're not going to go for that.
	Help me with this, John.
	Battle for the net.
	I just want to see who is part of this.
	I see that Fling Boing is all in on this, and of all people, Kerry Doctorow, or Corey.
	Well, he's just...
	There's no sense.
	I have to think that he's just misguided.
	He certainly has no technical knowledge if he believes that...
	Let's just take it back one second.
	What it used to be was...
	Fast lanes.
	Why do you want someone else to have a fast lane?
	And now they've taken it and said, oh, no, no, it's going to be slow.
	You're going to get slow stuff.
	I know they changed it.
	Very slick, but they have done a very good job.
	Well, I think the fast lane thing wasn't catching on enough.
	So now they just need to call it the slow thing.
	Or it actually did catch on well, because I remember the Twit people constantly talking about fast lanes and slow lanes.
	I don't want to deal with fast lanes and slow lanes.
	I think maybe what it is is that it jumped the shark.
	It was so successful.
	Let me give you the companies and organizations who are in on this.
	Companies.
	These are companies who are for net neutrality.
	They may have good intentions.
	They may.
	But this particular group, this battleforthenet.com, who are funded through five different hops of organizations, it's almost untraceable where the money's coming from.
	These are the companies who are going to eventually leave you with only lawful content and lawful network traffic.
	Admicus, Automatic, that's WordPress, BitTurrent, Boing Boing, Credo Mobile, Cheeseburger, CrowdTilt.
	By the way, Cheeseburger, you're off the list, bitches.
	You will be the first ones to go.
	CrowdTilt, Disconnect, Etsy, FARC, Foursquare, GSM Nation, Kickstarter, Meetup, Namechamp, Pocket now, private internet access, quant, reddit, startmail, thunderclap, tumblr, upward tumblr.
	Hello, tumblr.
	Do you just want to kill yourself?
	Porn heaven, upwardly vimeo.
	Tumblr?
	Tumblr is out of business if this happens.
	Oh, yeah.
	Done.
	Gone.
	Tumblr is nothing but some of the most horrific porn imaginable.
	Fabulous public service.
	Organizations.
	Access.
	American Civil Liberties Union.
	ACLU. Benton Foundation.
	Center for Media Justice.
	Color of Change.
	Common Cause.
	Consumers Union.
	Demand Progress.
	Electronic Frontier Foundation.
	Where are you...
	John Perry Barlow.
	Do you read, my friend?
	Do you ever look at what these people are talking about?
	Do you understand the concept of lawful content, John Perry Barlow?
	Do you understand the concept of lawful network traffic?
	You're promoting this?
	Fight for the Future, which is this same outfit, by the way.
	Free Press Action Fund, this same outfit.
	Greenpeace!
	Yay!
	MoveOn.org.
	National Hispanic Media Coalition.
	Hey!
	Hasta la vista!
	Open Mic.
	Open Technology Institute.
	Hello, George Soros.
	New America Foundation.
	Popular Resistance.
	Public Knowledge.
	And Voicers for the Internet Freedom.
	Let's look at some people.
	There are people here.
	Let's see if we can find any people we know.
	Brian Manning?
	No, we don't know him, do we?
	I don't know any of these people.
	On this people page.
	I'd like to call someone out by name.
	I don't know anybody.
	There's nobody who would put their name on there.
	There's a whole bunch.
	Doug Applegate?
	Do we know him?
	No.
	Eli Altman?
	I don't know any of these people.
	Are you looking at this?
	No, I can't get to this page.
	I don't know what page you're looking at.
	I'm looking at home.
	And if I start searching too hard because they got this page so screwed up.
	Jeff Bridges.
	There you go.
	Jeff Bridges.
	Jeff Bridges?
	What does he know about anything?
	I don't know.
	Jeff Bridges is on here.
	Let's see who else we have.
	I'm drawing blanks on all these people.
	Who are these people?
	Mmm...
	Kevin.
	Just Kevin.
	Doesn't it?
	Just Kevin.
	Thanks, Kevin.
	Is this people who sign up?
	Maybe they have an open sign-up or something.
	I don't know.
	But I am very disappointed in the Electronic Frontier Foundation.
	They should really know better.
	Now, there's a counter-side to this.
	The counter-side is tech freedom.
	This...
	Now...
	These guys, they've come up with don'tbreakthe.net.
	Morons!
	Today, Tech Freedom officially launched Don't Break the.NET, a grassroots petition campaign.
	Bullcrap.
	Paid for by Google.
	Urging the FCC not to impose 1930s-style utility regulation on the Internet, subjecting broadband to Title II of the 1996 telecom act would trigger endless litigation, cripple investment, slow broadband deployment and upgrades, and thus harm underserved communities.
	They're also not.
	This is Baron Soka.
	Who got in that big fight on This Week in Law with that other guy from The Verge.
	You know what I'm talking about.
	Yeah, I never saw it.
	I never saw it.
	We played a bit on the show.
	Yeah.
	So they're also not being truthful, because they're just paid for by this big foundation that Google puts money into.
	So it's really disgusting to see this, and then just the rule-following morons who are all in on this.
	Just read!
	Read!
	Read the proposed rules!
	And tell me if you really want anyone to determine what lawful content is for you that you can receive on your internet.
	And then if you in good conscience can still put a slow down the net logo and link and spam the FCC, that's what this is about.
	It's about the comments of the FCC. But I'm afraid, my friends, this is a done deal.
	It's fixed.
	We're out.
	Good to go.
	No, we're screwed.
	And of course, Tumblr will be really screwed.
	They're idiots.
	And this is sad.
	Well, here's what I've been listed.
	Obviously, you know, I think we're like the only two guys and maybe Andrew or Lousey.
	Wait, stop, stop.
	Do you think the timing of the fappening has anything to do with this?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, I think so, too.
	Good one, good one.
	Yeah, I just thought about it.
	Besides the two of us and Orlowski and maybe a few others that are either cis-admins that know what they're talking about or deep network analysts.
	Any network admin knows this is bullcrap to start with, but they don't have much of a voice.
	But when you hear it being argued on one of the shows, like any one of the Twit broadcasts where they discuss this, And you bring up the lawful content thing.
	Whoever it is, it doesn't have to be anybody in particular, because everybody's all in on this.
	They all lament that.
	Yeah, yeah, I know.
	It's disconcerting that it says that.
	But net neutrality is so important because of...
	And then they have their rationale, which is that all bits should be equal.
	Here's the one thing I think I would like to get into this debate again, because this is what I'm throwing at people now.
	Yeah.
	Listen up, people.
	I want you to be promoting this.
	Can I be an all-in guy?
	You're the all-in guy with all bits, all packets are equal.
	Okay, but what is my position in life?
	What am I doing?
	You're a pro.
	You're just a douchebag working at a company.
	You really don't have much technical expertise.
	Well, come on.
	Come on.
	You've got to give me a...
	You're the CEO of a bolt company that makes bolts.
	Yes.
	Okay, thank you.
	And you've heard it, but you keep up with the tech...
	I can't wait.
	I can't wait, by the way.
	My name is Ben.
	I run the Acme Bolt Company.
	Yes, Ben.
	I am so looking forward, right, to the iPhone 6.
	It's going to be so awesome, right?
	Yeah.
	Let's get back on track here and talk about net neutrality.
	Oh, yes.
	Hello.
	Yes.
	Net neutrality?
	Oh, wow.
	Do we need this?
	I am so sick and tired of companies just getting a fast lane into stuff.
	Please.
	I am trying to sell bolts here.
	Just because some guy who has Hollywood movies has more money, now my website's going to slow down?
	So you think that...
	Now, what is your position?
	I'm the CEO. I'm the CEO of this company.
	I'm not talking about your position on net neutrality.
	Are you talking about packets being equal?
	You think everybody's got five...
	Yes!
	The essence...
	Excuse me.
	Excuse me.
	Mr.
	Dvorak, the essence of the internet was that everything is equal.
	It doesn't matter what you're doing, where you're coming from.
	This is how it was set up.
	This is what Tim Berners-Lee, who I have met at a mixer...
	Tim Berners-Lee meant this to be all things equal.
	And may I point out, Mr.
	Dvorak, Mr.
	Smarty Pants, you are wrong about the mouse.
	Now, let's take this net neutrality thing and look at these packets being equal process.
	So you're telling me that, for example, if you didn't know this, because you like YouTube, you like Netflix, on most systems...
	Except Comcast, I might add, but in most systems, they use what's called a Google Global Cash.
	And that is installed at the ISPs, in the head office, right there, boom, right with the main server.
	Hold on a second.
	Cash smash.
	All I know is we need to have our YouTube videos with our explanatory videos showing how the bolts go into the nuts.
	We need them to be equal, equal, I say, to Netflix.
	And why does Netflix get some kind of better deal than we do?
	Just because they have money?
	Just because we can't afford it?
	I feel that these are human rights.
	Netflix has a device, a network appliance, that they give free to all the ISPs to put in the office, right by the servers, hook right to the line, so when you make a request for a Netflix movie, it doesn't actually go to Netflix.
	It goes right off the...
	Off the 100 terabytes that are sitting there, and you get it fed directly.
	So in terms of...
	Listen, I don't...
	You've already made a fool of yourself.
	I'm Ben the Bolt guy, and I cannot afford to have some kind of device.
	I'm selling bolts here.
	I need people to access my website quickly.
	You're not going to even let me do my argument, Ben.
	I'm listening.
	Here's the problem with packets being equal.
	If you want to watch a movie from Vudu and you want to watch a movie from Netflix, and this is not part of the deal that they did with Comcast because Comcast would not put these devices in.
	But if you have any other ISP, Netflix will have one of these devices because they're free.
	They give them to them free.
	It's got a 100 terabyte drive.
	It's a network appliance that sits right there on the line.
	So when you request a movie from Netflix, it comes directly off this box, straight to you.
	There's no packets coming from Netflix.
	If you ask for a movie from Vudu, the ISP has to go to Vudu and ask for the movie and move all the data all the way to themselves and then to you.
	This is not an equal packet situation.
	There's no chance that packets are going to be equal if you have Netflix throwing these devices out there by the thousands, and the same with the Google Global Cash.
	And Akamai has these things.
	Everybody uses these things.
	They're used all over the place, and they're selectively chosen by the various ISPs.
	What are you going to do, get rid of all these things?
	That would slow down the Internet.
	Can I respond?
	No.
	As Ben?
	Go ahead.
	You are making my point for me.
	We cannot afford to put free boxes.
	These boxes need to go out.
	Net neutrality is about not letting anyone have any kind of advantage because we can't afford boxes.
	So this should be illegal.
	There should be no boxes from Netflix, free or not, because we can't afford it.
	They can't afford it.
	That actually would have to be the argument you'd have to take.
	And this is what they will do, John.
	In other words, your YouTubes are going to come through slow instead of fast.
	Everything is going to slow down because you're going to get rid of these boxes.
	These boxes are a way of speeding things up.
	But if you looked at them objectively, I've talked to a bunch of guys about this.
	If you look at them objectively, this is not packet equality.
	Nobody talks about these boxes.
	So the only problem with your argument, which I think needs a little refining, is that it is on deaf ears.
	These people who are, they're thinking black people, white people.
	They're not thinking actual technology.
	They're thinking American Indians getting shafted.
	They're thinking, seriously, it's like black people, white people.
	This is how they think of, in America, the population has been trained to think in these terms.
	So you have two options, three options, the way I see it.
	You can try your argument, which of course is correct.
	I mean, I was just being an idiot, which you're going to run into.
	The second one is you can say, if you vote for net neutrality, puppies will die.
	That might work.
	Or, you douchebag!
	Nothing else is going to work, John.
	They don't care.
	They will not understand it.
	The internet is a magic box.
	It's a little fan thingy at the top of their screen, which has like a little reception thing.
	People have no idea where it comes from.
	And as you pointed out astutely, all of the revolution comes down to Netflix and Facebook and And for however long we can do this show until we are taken off the air and or physically put into jail.
	Well, there's that.
	Now, didn't we have a clip of the guy who invented the idea of net neutrality reneging on the way it's being handled?
	The guy says, this is bullcrap what these people are talking about.
	This, you know, this has got nothing to do with anything.
	This is a scam.
	And unfortunately, I say that about too many things, and so I'm like the guy who cries wolf.
	Yeah, the scam guy.
	I'm the scam guy.
	That's a scam.
	It is a scam.
	It's a scam to control and regulate the internet, because the FCC, at the end of the day, no, they look down the road.
	The broadcasting business is what they regulate.
	That's what they regulate.
	They regulate the airwaves to make sure people don't bump into each other, to make sure there's not a bunch of interference between one frequency and another, to make sure that the content that the public can freely download for download, can freely receive from broadcast stations is not corrupted or communist propaganda or people cussing a lot like you get on the internet.
	Oops.
	They are going to...
	They see down the road, they say, this is a dead-end job.
	What else can we regulate?
	They tried to regulate cable.
	They've been pushing and pushing and pushing to get the cable, get to regulate cable because it gives them a lot of good stuff to do.
	They get to...
	Crack down on people cussing, mostly, and maybe showing a tit.
	Heaven forbid.
	And so they can get in there and do that.
	So they've been unsuccessful, but they see this internet thing as a great possibility.
	This will give them lifetime employment.
	They can write regulations and keep people off the air and look out for communist propaganda, keep the beheadings off the air, crack down on people.
	Do it, but promote the anti-Putin movement.
	They can get rid of podcasting or make you get a license.
	You're going to have to get a license.
	Oh, yeah.
	This is a setup.
	Yep.
	If people do not see this, well, you get to, luckily, you can say, well, I told you so, some years from now.
	Well, so what?
	Yeah.
	Now that I think about it, it makes total sense, even the way it's being written by the Silicon Valley tech press, who are usually ready to vilify anybody, particularly TechCrunch or AlterCrunch or UnCrunch or whatever, CaptainCrunch.
	And it's all so sad.
	The privacy.
	She put a dildo in her butt and it's on the internet.
	I'm so sad for her.
	This is perfect because that will be deemed unlawful content.
	It is, of course, obtained illegally and unlawful.
	We know that lots of people are doing this.
	It's not just actors and actresses doing this.
	Obviously, this has got to be some phenomenon that we are not a privy to and not a part of.
	So this is why people are responding so heavily to it.
	And this will be deemed illegal.
	Not so much that it's illegal for you to do it, but people who expose this and make this available, it will be shut down and people will be happy, happy to vote for this.
	Well, yes, we can't have that.
	We can't have our butt plug photos exposed.
	No.
	And, John, the good news about all this, when it comes around and when the regulations are in place and Tumblr is gone and you can't listen to this show, you know what?
	You will have redeemed yourself for the mouse business, my friend.
	I'm going to show my support by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, I'll know what you love.
	In the morning.
	Well, you know, we have a birthday thing going on for today's show.
	So we have like a hundred people that wish you a happy birthday and we're going to have to mention every one of them.
	Not a hundred.
	Not a hundred people.
	Really?
	A hundred people?
	No.
	Over a hundred.
	No.
	No.
	I'm looking at the list.
	That's not 100.
	Your 50th birthday, boy.
	It's a big deal, your 50th birthday.
	So people wanted to chime in on it.
	I'm humbled.
	So let's start thanking people.
	This is going to be a longer segment than usual.
	I'm humbled.
	And we'll go over time a little bit at the end of the show as we get into some other topics that are...
	This will also be illegal with net neutrality.
	You're limited.
	You have too many packets.
	That no agenda show, we have to limit your packets.
	It's not just the priority.
	You're making a show too long.
	By law, you can only...
	By law, no more than two hours of packets.
	All right.
	So let's start with Sir J.D. in San Jose, $150.69.
	He's the Baron of Silicon Valley.
	Therefore, we have to read his notes.
	Here's a global entry.
	Happy birthday, Swazzanouf.
	Donations in honor of Adam's 50th.
	Oh, thank you.
	That's right.
	$140 plus 10, I guess, and a Swazzanouf.
	Thank you.
	And since he is a baron, a big-time baron, we have to obey his requests.
	Hell yeah.
	So he wants a...
	I don't know what he wants.
	Let's see.
	He wants a ding, ding, ding, book of knowledge.
	What does he want?
	He just wants some dings.
	Okay.
	We'll ding.
	We'll ding for you.
	I gave him twice.
	Good.
	Anyway, he's wishing you a happy birthday from San Jose.
	Thank you, sir.
	Brandon Fenton in Colorado Springs, $100.66.
	This is the equivalent of two donations.
	So he wants to thank us for providing the best podcast in the universe.
	I'm wishing you a happy birthday, along with Mark Dyson, who missed 66 cents.
	Sir Mark, he just has the 100, and he says, great time to celebrate your birthday in true pre-crime fashion in Tokyo.
	In May.
	He turned 50 this month, so here's a birthday donation without the need for water or ice.
	In May.
	In May.
	That's when we celebrated.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Was it May?
	No, it wasn't May.
	Was it May?
	Yeah, it was May.
	Yeah, it was May.
	Yeah.
	50 plus 50 is 100.
	We celebrated together.
	Here's the next 50.
	You're barren in Tokyo.
	In Brooklyn, New York, $100.
	Same thing.
	Happy birthday.
	Double 50s.
	Christina Caldwell in Brisbane, Australia was complimented for the centrifuge bit.
	I listened to that bit back.
	Yeah?
	Comedy gold.
	A lot of people thought this.
	But it's real.
	Bob Bear is actually saying, stick him in the centrifuge.
	You should clip and replay it again.
	Comedy gold, people.
	Bashar Osman in Harrow, Middlesex, $80.33.
	He's another $50.33 plus $30 for his 30th on the 5th.
	Which we have a birthday.
	We have birthdays lined up.
	I believe.
	Yeah, we do.
	Stephen McConnell, 77-77, Sack of Sevens, Cortland, Ohio.
	Sir Mark Williams in Longmont, Colorado, 77-77.
	This is for our seventh birthday, our Sack of Sevens.
	Mike Chauver in Birmingham, West Midlands, 69-69.
	And he says, my lovely Helen Jones' job interview.
	Okay, we'll put a job karma at the end.
	Yeah, we got to do job karma and some F cancer karma.
	We got a lot of that going on.
	Andy Benz, 6660 in St.
	Louis.
	Happy birthday.
	Max Tank, La Jolla, California, 6660.
	James Frost in Lost Wages, Nevada, 6660.
	These are all the micro-beast or mini-beast donations.
	Sterling Post Print Solution, 6633.
	And he needs a karma at the end.
	Michael Ull in Atascadero, California.
	6543, you are an entertaining light in the dark, boring, repetitive, dronish, weird, repetitive mediascape YouTube thingy.
	Value for value.
	I'm drinking wine.
	I'm feeling pretty good.
	Daniel Terrellio in Charleston, South Carolina, 6450.
	Ivar van der Velde in Wageningen.
	Wageningen.
	Very good.
	That's Double Nickels on the Diamond.
	Event Horizon Technologies in Bryant, Texas, which is...
	I'm Kim.
	We'll get to the birthday for his brother.
	We have a birthday list.
	Kim Colavo in Endicott, New York.
	Endicott?
	Endicott.
	Must be an IBMer.
	Endicott, yep.
	There's a note.
	You have a note.
	And guess what?
	A picture.
	Oh, yeah.
	Actually, no.
	Guess what?
	As I go to the desk.
	Ah, it's at the other computer.
	It's funny.
	There were some of our friends from Austin.
	Yeah?
	Like, really, really hot women.
	Hot women from Austin?
	Oh, yeah.
	From the spin class, like hot women.
	Oh, that's where you go.
	Of course.
	Who sent me an email wishing me happy birthday.
	And here's my reply.
	Dear Karen, thank you so much.
	I really appreciate you wishing me happy birthday.
	Unfortunately, the naked picture attachment didn't seem to come through.
	Please resend.
	You put that.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	And I told Mickey, and she said, I'm not going to get anything.
	Loser.
	All the small contribution, outstanding show, podcast, product, whatever you want to call it, not advertising.
	Congratulations on seven years of insights and left.
	I need them both.
	And he wants some job karma at the end for his friends, Todd and Paul.
	Got it.
	So instead of calling him out as douchebags, he's giving him karma.
	That's good for him.
	Yeah, that was very nice.
	Okay, Kenneth Gross in Felton, Pennsylvania, 50-55.
	Thomas Bissell in Reno, he gives a happy birthday and jumped the line by coming in at 50-50.
	Good one, Thomas.
	Smart.
	Now we have all the people that I'm going to name them.
	Wow.
	This town and name, if they came in with, and it's a long list, $50.33, which is what we requested.
	This is the official birthday, happy birthday, Adam, donation, being 50 years old.
	50 years jumping the shark old.
	Yeah.
	And it's not being middle-aged, by the way.
	That means it assumes you're going to go to 100.
	I am.
	This is just an audition.
	I'm planning on going to 100.
	I'm going to be really cranky.
	Yeah, well, you might make 100, but it's going to be as a head in a bottle of milk.
	A head in the desert.
	I'm a stick.
	Andre Klaus in Den Haag.
	Den Haag, very good.
	Holland.
	Dean Ashton in Vassa, Finland.
	Sir DH Slammer, 5033.
	He also has a...
	He did some...
	Sent us some stuff.
	Sent us some wine.
	Oh, nice.
	Oh, cool.
	Andre Schmid in Lusanne, Switzerland.
	Nice.
	Joseph Green in Stevenson Beach, California.
	Kenneth Short in Tacoma, Washington.
	James Moore in San Pablo, California, right up the street from me.
	Scott Thompson, North Tonawanda, New York.
	Herb Lamb, our buddy, in Sugar Hill, Georgia.
	It's always coming in.
	Christopher Dolan in Berlin, Connecticut.
	Matthew Messer in Fair Oaks, California.
	Jim Zuccal in Los Angeles, Cal.
	Joe Kruger in Montgomery, Alabama.
	Michael Dennis in Auburn Hills, Michigan.
	Robert Love in Orlando, Florida.
	Joe Jose Ojeda.
	Hey, Joe Jose!
	Jose, I think it's Ojeda, in San Francisco, California.
	Dame Melody Mann.
	Hey, Dame Melody in Parts Unknown 5033.
	Michael O'Grady, Augusta, Georgia.
	Roger Boots.
	Roger Boots in Mechanicsville, Iowa.
	Brian Swearingen.
	Swearingen.
	Swearingen.
	Louise, Louisville, Kentucky.
	Andrew Powell in Aiken, South Carolina.
	He's a long-time boner, by the way.
	Millennial college student here wishing you a happy birthday.
	For all the hard work.
	Can I say something?
	Yes.
	I feel loved.
	What?
	I feel loved.
	Yeah, you should feel loved.
	Nicholas Ragucci.
	I believe, in Hanover Park, Illinois.
	Brian Leslie in Bremerton, Washington.
	Keith Brown in Lago Vista, Texas.
	I don't even know where that is.
	Second Mile Productions, Liberty, Maine.
	Robert Greer.
	These are all 5033s.
	Robert Greer in Schick City, Pennsylvania.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	That can't be right.
	Yes?
	It says Robert Greer?
	Do you know Robert Greer?
	We know the Greers in Shikshini, Pennsylvania.
	Yes, we do.
	Well, there they are.
	Wishing you a happy birthday.
	Scott Waldherr in Rhinelander, Wisconsin.
	Michelle Graf in San Francisco over here.
	Hey, Michelle.
	Scott Ruddy.
	It's Michael Greer.
	I told you it's Michael Greer.
	I said Michael Greer.
	You said Robert.
	What did I say?
	Robert.
	You said Robert.
	I heard you say Robert.
	That's why it caught my eye.
	I'm like, no, this can't be Robert.
	Well, I don't understand how that could happen unless I'm being banged with some sort of radiation.
	Maybe they're banging me.
	I don't know.
	I'm sorry.
	They put on the tinfoil here.
	This will help.
	Scott Walder, I said.
	Michelle Graff.
	Chris Ruddy in New York City.
	Brian Benson in Tampa, Florida.
	Walton Vale Designs in Maple, Ontario.
	John Adams in Stratford, Connecticut.
	Nicholas Stowe.
	Your neighbor in Austin, Texas.
	Michael Suchara in Chicago.
	Chris Facer, I guess, in Ryde, New South Wales, Australia.
	Mark Heimer, Heimerman in Appleton, Wisconsin.
	We've got a lot of Wisconsin listeners.
	I like that.
	Tyler Oglesby in West Columbia, Texas.
	A lot of Texans, too.
	Emmanuel Lossier.
	You hear that, Isis?
	We're ready for you.
	Sorry?
	A lot of Texans.
	You hear that ISIS? We're ready for you.
	Bring it on.
	Yeah, I'm sure they are.
	Emmanuel Lossier.
	By the way, he says happy birthday.
	You'll be raising a glass to your next 50.
	Thank you.
	From noagendacritic.com.
	Noagendacritic.com.
	Check that out while I'm doing this.
	Jacob Barker in...
	What is this?
	Cremomi?
	Cremoni?
	What is it?
	Cremome?
	New South Wales.
	I should just say New South Wales.
	Christopher Dechter in Richland, Washington.
	Nicholas Principe.
	Principe.
	Principe in Raleigh, North Carolina.
	Lucas Zouja. Zouja.
	Zouja, I think.
	Zouja.
	Zouja, baby.
	He's in Munich, Deutschland.
	Horse Presence in Pacifica, California.
	Pat Deary in Sarnia, Ontario, Canada.
	Mark Hollenbach in Amsterdam.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	8-8 in Tonawanda, New York.
	Sir Michael Schumacher in Kelseyville, California.
	Borislav Marinoff.
	Sir Borislav Marinoff in Trabuco Canyon, California.
	Steve Curtis in Marietta, Georgia.
	Patrick...
	No, Stephen E. Taft.
	You missed Stephen E. I'm sorry.
	Stephen E. Taft in Marietta, Georgia.
	Steve Curtis was from Bristol.
	I'm sorry.
	Bristol, it's small.
	I'm at the bottom of the spreadsheet.
	Let me move it up a little bit so I don't have to keep doing it.
	You're doing a great job, John.
	Now it's like everyone pops up as a surprise.
	Do we do Patrick?
	No, do Patrick.
	Patrick Waymire.
	Big X in the middle of his name.
	Patrick Waymire in Robbinsdale, Minnesota Nuts.
	Rob Warren in Sunderland, Tine and Ware.
	Tine and Ware.
	UK, I don't know what it is.
	Richard Chow, thank you.
	Richard Chow in Fullerton, California.
	John Haller in Missoula, Montana.
	Missoula.
	Missoula.
	David Hoffman in Enola, Pennsylvania.
	Robert Mueller, our buddy in Chesapeake, Virginia.
	Not the Robert Mueller and the FBI guy.
	Simon Bennett in Ipswich, Suffolk.
	And Willis in Washington, D.C. Finally somebody from Washington, D.C. Jennifer Buchanan in Charleston, South Carolina.
	Christopher Wolf in Mooresville, Indiana.
	Matthew Yackey in Denver, California.
	Denver, Colorado.
	Michael...
	Astfolk, I guess.
	He's in Berlin, Deutschland.
	Anonymous, Dayton, Ohio.
	Daniel Smith in Dayton, Ohio.
	Coincidence?
	I think not.
	Kevin McLaughlin in Locust, North Carolina.
	Steve Bottoms in Reno, Nevada.
	He actually has some money to donate.
	Good for him.
	Johann Hacklin in Köln, Deutschland.
	We've got a lot of Germans on this wishing you a happy birthday.
	I like that.
	Well, I believe it's related to the culture of birthdays in the Germanic-speaking countries.
	Ah, that could be.
	It's important.
	School of Podcasting came through from Rocky River, Ohio.
	Dave Jackson.
	Yep.
	Gregory Worley in Edmonton, Virginia.
	Becky Worley's husband.
	Robin Clements in Old Chest.
	Come on, that was funny.
	Yeah, it was killer.
	Red Bird Sales in Mesa, Arizona.
	Scott Soltis in St.
	Paul, Minnesota.
	Tylo Werner in Leipzig, Deutschland.
	This would be Werner.
	Werner.
	Lee Chang in Aberdeen City, UK. Eric Wells in Vienna, Austria.
	Jeff B.S. Bisk.
	What is this?
	B.S. Bachelor something.
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	Hold on a second.
	You said Eric Wells in Vienna?
	Yeah, no, I got Eric Wells' in Jefferson, Georgia.
	Sorry, Eric.
	There you go.
	It's this other one, this BS. Matthias Dienelt.
	Dienelt in Vienna.
	But what is this BSC thing at the beginning, you think?
	Some title, I believe.
	It's a baron...
	I don't know if he's a baron, but okay, onward.
	Maybe a real baron.
	Jeff Mincy in San Jose, California.
	Richard Gardner in San Jose.
	Chicago, Illinois.
	Chicago.
	You know what happens when you get something wrong?
	People say, John said, he said my city wrong.
	They sent it to me.
	Anybody, Jeff Mincy knows it's pronounced San Jose.
	All right.
	Greg Meyer in Wynwood, Pennsylvania.
	Craig Meyer.
	What did I say?
	Greg.
	I didn't say Craig?
	No, you said Greg.
	Oh.
	John, are you okay?
	I'm getting there.
	It's tough.
	I know.
	It's hard.
	I've done this.
	James Coleman, Wiley, Texas.
	Christopher Walker.
	Not the Christopher Walker.
	In Hortonville, Wisconsin.
	Another Wisconsinite.
	This, again, the German thing.
	I think you might be on this thing.
	Robert Goschko, because Wisconsin's all German.
	Also Dutch.
	And Norwegians, apparently.
	Robert Goschko, our buddy in Sherwood Park, Alberta.
	I think he's a sir.
	Jason Daniels in Dallas, Texas.
	Jason Fortune in Geneva, Illinois.
	Tyler Sandberg in Gehring, Nebraska.
	One, two...
	Oh, man.
	I didn't even expect...
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Give me a second.
	I wasn't expecting it.
	I'm just sitting here, just on cruise control, thinking John's got it covered.
	And in the red corner, wearing the black trunks with gold trim, he has a record of 33 wins, zero losses, and one draw.
	He's the grand news of Belgium and France, Sir Steven von Hellsmacher!
	Stephen Pelsmacher.
	He couldn't make it.
	Belgium and France.
	He couldn't make it.
	The Baron was missed.
	He could not make it to the birthday.
	He was invited.
	Oh, that's a shame.
	He got a personal Miss Mickey invitation and everything.
	He couldn't make it, unfortunately.
	Oh, well, it's okay.
	I'm sad.
	Jeffrey Lenters.
	How am I pronouncing that?
	Let me see.
	Where are we?
	Lentius.
	Lentius.
	In Hellifutslaus.
	Yep, in Hellifutslaus.
	It's the river, the small creek, running through the hellish town.
	The Hellfoot.
	The Hellfoot lock, actually.
	Jeffrey Lynch.
	Yeah, okay.
	Joe Richard Adams in Orem, Utah.
	Eric Grunwald in South Africa.
	Grunwald.
	Giles Pavot in Paris.
	All right.
	Wow, finally.
	There we go.
	The Frenchman came in.
	Hold on.
	Bonjour.
	Holy crap.
	We got one.
	Get the net.
	Derek in Menasha, Wisconsin.
	Dan Coleman in Dayton, Ohio.
	Steven Bowe in Parts Unknown.
	Josh Mandel in Greenville, South Carolina.
	John Atwood in Cotter, Arkansas.
	Hold on a second.
	Nick Bliss.
	I'm sorry.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	I'm sorry.
	Nicholas Nilsson in Sweden.
	Gregory Ball in Atherton, UK. P. Bowe in Maastricht.
	And finally, the last few, Torben Peterson in Sharpsburg, Norway.
	Woo!
	Christopher Quiroga in Porter, Texas.
	Stephen Schwartz in Schertz, Texas.
	And finally, Harry Biglin in Kew Gardens, New York.
	And Monica Lansing.
	Dame Monica, if I'm not mistaken.
	Yes, I believe so.
	In Drayton Valley, Alberta, Canada, where all the money is.
	Oh!
	He said it.
	He said it.
	I couldn't resist.
	I know.
	That's our group of official...
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Well, thank you all very much.
	I am humbled by your...
	By them coming out to play.
	Yes, and I am speechless.
	Let me finish off a thank yous for the 50s and more.
	Elizabeth Borazan in Tucson, Arizona.
	Also, these are all happy birthdays too, but they're just different amounts.
	These are all from now on.
	It's $50 and then we're done.
	I'm a little emotional.
	Michael Johnson in Ledyard, Connecticut.
	James Burke in Richmond, North Yorkshire, UK. Matthew Januszewski in Chicago.
	Tom Schuring in Wheeler's Hill, Victoria, Australia.
	Tom Schuring, he is the clogwog.
	He is the official archivist of Adam Curry.
	Oh, nice.
	Clogwog.com.
	Stephen Flicken in Corpus Christi, Texas.
	Callum Dugan in Parts Unknown, $50.
	Greg Brunsel, I believe maybe a Sir.
	Sir Greg.
	No, this is Greg.
	Sir Greg.
	Yeah, I believe so.
	Craig Denniston in Omaha.
	Sir Mark Tanner in Whittier, California.
	Sir Brett Farrell in Oklahoma City.
	And last but not least, Jason.
	DeLuzio in Chadsford, Pennsylvania.
	I do have a note from Craig Dennison who actually sent a very pretty card to you with a calico cat, no, I say rainbow cat with a horn coming out of the top of his head.
	And this is a very nice, the old hand, this is a very nice...
	The little card.
	It was all printed custom.
	Small donation for Adam's Big Day.
	I'm hoping for a birthday shout-out on 9-7.
	Thank you to Sir Nussbaum for the birthday donation on episode 546.
	And I hope your day is great.
	Craig from Omaha.
	So I'll send you this card.
	It's a very pleasant little card.
	Well, I'll pick it up on the 20th.
	In the newsletter, I mentioned that if anyone wants to send you a card, the post office box will be available for some card shout-outs for the next show.
	I will pick it up personally.
	Then I have stuff I'm bringing for you.
	I got all kinds of coins and tchotchkes and whatever.
	I've been coming for a couple days.
	I'm coming.
	I'm coming.
	I'm coming!
	And you're supposed to say, well, get some tissue.
	Thank you all very much.
	It's not just illegal content.
	Forget it.
	I'm going to start practicing now.
	Unlawful.
	But use the correct vernacular.
	Unlawful content.
	Not illegal.
	Unlawful.
	I think there's...
	I'm going to have to talk to Eric, the constitutional lawyer.
	There's got to be a difference between illegal content and unlawful.
	There must be some significant difference.
	Don't you think?
	Yeah, yeah.
	No, there's obviously some...
	Unlawful, yeah.
	And illegal is different.
	There's some lawyer...
	Some lawyer.
	Hey, thank you all very much.
	I am humbled and honored by what you have done for me.
	It's beautiful.
	And these are the gifts that I can put in my suitcase.
	Thank you.
	Thank you so much.
	Thank you everyone who came in with amounts under $50, usually for...
	Anonymity purposes, which I completely understand, because we soon will be on lawful network traffic.
	And thank you to everyone who is on a monthly, a weekly, or any other type of a subscription program, a layaway for the night.
	It's really, really appreciated.
	We're so happy.
	I am very happy to do this program.
	I know John is as well, despite his harmonica playing.
	I'm thrilled.
	That's right.
	And here's the karma.
	I have the birthday.
	I just put fiddling around here on the arm.
	I got the birthday riff.
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	You've got karma.
	And as we said, we will, of course, have a show on Sunday.
	Keep the support going.
	Javorac.org slash NA.
	It's your birthday, birthday.
	I'm going to a champion.
	All right, happy birthday, Jim.
	Dame Joan Donafray says happy birthday to her son Griffin, turning 16 on September 6th.
	Bashir Osman turns 30 on the 5th.
	Event Horizon Tech says happy birthday to Brother Patrick, celebrating on the 5th as well.
	David Hazan turns 50 this week.
	And Sir Don Tommaso di Toronto, also 50.
	Wow!
	Welcome to the club!
	Yeah, we'll just have to deem it the hookers and blow club as far as I'm concerned.
	Of course, I celebrated my birthday.
	Thank you all so much and happy birthday from your best buddies here at the best podcast in the universe.
	It's your birthday, yeah!
	You know, I didn't sleep a lot.
	And...
	What?
	I didn't sleep a lot.
	Hello?
	Well, you're partying.
	Yeah, I was partying.
	You're having a time of your life.
	Yes, and I've had a wine.
	You had a wine?
	Just right now.
	Right now?
	Yeah, during the show.
	You're drinking wine on the show?
	You're drinking alcohol while trying to do a complicated show like this?
	Yes.
	I'm sorry.
	I apologize.
	I'm just going to be honest about it.
	I'm not going to bullcrap you.
	I want you to know where I'm at.
	Don't drink anymore because you're going into the...
	Sheets to the wind, like, with two glasses of wine, so don't drink more than one glass.
	But how about this sword I got here?
	Oh, this is a very, this is a sharp thing.
	Shannon Jerry, I'll step forward along with Jim Zukav.
	Both of you have contributed to the best podcast in the University Mountain of $1,000 or more, and we could not be happier.
	Thank you for the support.
	It really means a lot to us, and we're happy to introduce you into the table of the Knights and the Names and hereby pronouncing Sir Shannon Jerry and Sir Jim of Beverly Hills for you, my friends.
	We've got...
	Hookers and Blow, Rent Boys and Chardonnay, Root Beer and Legos, Ass Cream and Bear Fillings, Girlfriend Experience and Good Bourbon, Porn Stars and Pot, Poppy Van Winkle, Roman Serve with Oktoberfest Far Lines, Three Gaishas and a Bucket of Fried Chicken.
	Wenches and beer, or if you prefer, we have, of course, the mutton and mead.
	Go to noagendanation.com slash rings, then Eric DeShield will hook you up and make it all happen for you, bringing it to you.
	Thank you.
	Wow.
	I don't...
	That's why I had to drink.
	I was just listening to some people, like...
	You know, it's like, I'm 50 and people love us.
	Me, me.
	I think they love me.
	Yeah, they love you, but if I'm...
	Well, come on.
	No, when you celebrate your eighth wedding...
	Yeah, we get responses.
	You know, if I had my 50, that is a big deal, and it's a good number.
	It's easy for people to contribute.
	Everybody joined in.
	I mean, not everybody, obviously, but a lot of the people who could did, which is the...
	A big deal.
	In this day and age, are you kidding me?
	50 bucks?
	Yeah, well, 50 bucks.
	Yeah, it's a good number.
	It's a great number.
	They all get mentioned.
	Let me read an email from Stan the Ukrainian.
	We mention people, and we will take the time out to mention them and read their notes.
	We read all the notes.
	I mean, we don't read them out loud.
	Yeah, we read all of them, of course.
	And, you know, we aren't just, we're not like PBS. They don't care.
	Give them money.
	Here's a tote bag.
	Shut up.
	Have a tote bag.
	Get out.
	Thanks.
	Tote bag.
	Stand the Ukrainian just to show you that we read all the notes.
	It is pain, but even more and more painful listening to your pro-Russian show.
	RT has really brainwashed you.
	Tote bag!
	Ukraine, country I understand and love, the country speaking at it is TV Russian, Ukrainian, Romanian, Hungarian, experiencing war attack from a country where only Russian language is allowed on TV, only pro-Putin speech is allowed, Russian army invaded to democratic European Ukraine, killing my ex-compatriots, humiliating publicly captured Ukrainian soldiers.
	Publishing YouTube how paratroopers from Russia to St.
	Petersburg pose on dead bodies of Ukrainian militaries, and you blind brainwashed can only see how Ukraine is doing wrong.
	Enough for today.
	Putin is a Nazi and a murderer.
	Stop Putin!
	From Stanislav the Ukrainian.
	Okay.
	He lives in Canada, by the way.
	Oh, that guy.
	The Canadian guy.
	He's not a Ukrainian.
	He's not over there.
	We don't have anybody over there.
	I just wanted to point out that we really are not brainwashed.
	We're really...
	It's not like we're sucking Putin.
	We're just pointing out some...
	Yeah, we don't have to cheat that much.
	No, no.
	Especially not since they took all the...
	The hot chicks are quitting.
	That's no good.
	However, President Obama, and I have a couple clips to play here.
	I've done some work on this.
	So at the party, this was a big topic of conversation.
	Because he had just come out, our president, Barack Obama, had come out and said, and he had this big speech in Estonia.
	And there's a number of things that he was talking about.
	I'll play it a little bit out of order.
	This is what people at the party were talking about.
	Remember, they're in Europe.
	And people understand the, not all, but I'd say most people, they look at the map or they've traveled.
	Maybe they've driven a few hundred kilometers.
	They know where Estonia is or Latvia or a couple of these other Baltic states.
	They know where Ukraine is.
	They know where Poland is, where Germany is.
	They've learned this in their high school, the grade school.
	They've learned this.
	So when you hear this...
	The new initiative I proposed in Warsaw this spring includes several elements and we're working with Congress to get it done.
	Here in the Baltics, it would mean positioning more American equipment so it's ready if needed.
	It would mean more training and exercises between our militaries.
	And it would mean more U.S. forces, including American boots on the ground, continuously rotating through Estonia and Latvia and Lithuania.
	Let me tell you, this was concerning to some of my guests.
	It'd be concerning to me.
	Yes!
	American boots on the ground.
	When you say boots on the ground, that's not just we're rotating people in, we have our NATO forces.
	No, this sounds very aggressive.
	And I personally apologize.
	I do not feel it appropriate for my president to speak that way to you.
	Europeans.
	The BBC is all...
	I've been watching a lot of BBC. Well, NATO is expected to agree plans to create a rapid reaction force of 5,000 troops, which would be ready to deploy to Eastern Europe.
	Now, this is interesting.
	The rapid...
	I have the same report, but from the fan cat, and it's 4,000 troops.
	Oh, really?
	4,000 troops are fine.
	Hold on.
	Let me play your...
	I have your report here.
	May I play this out of sequence?
	Yes, please play.
	Eastern European members against possible Russian aggression, comprised of some 4,000 troops that can deploy with just 48 hours' notice.
	Okay, stop.
	To be fair, she said some.
	Could have been 3,000.
	Could have been 5,000.
	She said some to deploy within 48 hours.
	Let's play the British.
	Within 48 hours.
	Okay, she's got that.
	Let's go back to the French.
	It would be supported by logistics and equipment positioned close to Russia's borders.
	Okay.
	It's also spending at least $1.7 billion.
	Hold on!
	Hello!
	Hey, John, were we still manufacturing some of that war stuff?
	I hear there's some money out there that we can sell into.
	Yep.
	Okay, back to the British BBC. As we look at a digital age where the warfighter realizes both in his civilian life and in his duty life the importance of information technology, he treats the computer as part of his weapon cache.
	Yeah, I also treat the computer as part of my weapon's cache.
	That he uses to employ against the enemy.
	From a remote Norwegian airbase, NATO has been carrying out its biggest test yet of its ability to gather and share intelligence.
	And this is the nerve center where they're getting fed all that information, either from satellites.
	What?
	I said, oh.
	Spy planes or drones or listening stations.
	This sounds like a big...
	Bonanza if you're in the business of selling some kind of military equipment or cybercrack.
	...on the ground.
	It's a kind of intelligence cell they'd need to track, for example, Russian military movements.
	Ah, Russian military movements?
	We must track them.
	Is that in your French report?
	- If approved, the troops would mark a departure from efforts to find a diplomatic solution with Russia's Vladimir Putin.
	- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! - Putin! - They're very good.
	On the border with Ukraine, or to try to spot those missing schoolgirls abducted in Nigeria.
	Hold on a second, you've confused me.
	You have fixed metaphors here.
	Yeah, I know, this is very confusing.
	We're not gonna, this, NATO doesn't go look for Nigerian schoolgirls.
	That was someone, I don't know, that was just a throwaway line.
	Something cut and paste issue.
	Somebody did a cut and paste, it was a mistake.
	Ukraine's Petro Poroshenko, negotiations to end the crisis have so far proved fruitless.
	Fruitless!
	The challenge is how to share all this information, especially when it involves different nations operating different systems.
	Oh yes, they have Windows and we have OSX. I'm It's an Android versus iPhone.
	It just won't match.
	This trial aims to break down the digital divide.
	The digital...
	I say put it in the cloud.
	This is the third meme.
	Put it in the cloud.
	We got the missing girls.
	We got the digital divide.
	And the cloud.
	Technology to speak the same language.
	The technology must speak the same language, John.
	What languages do we have?
	We have Node.
	We have, um...
	What else do we have?
	Node.
	We have JSON. Well, clearly we can all speak the same language.
	How about the frogs?
	Putin, in a sense, is cornered at this point because domestically he cannot accept a defeat in Ukraine.
	Maybe it has to speak Russian.
	So, um, the only solution, as I see it, really is diplomatic, however faint the hope for it is.
	Oh, who is this man?
	Go away.
	We need more war material.
	When a NATO operation kicks off, you don't know who's going to show up.
	You don't know what nations are going to be available.
	What?
	You...
	What is it?
	Is it like a general call?
	Who shows up?
	Anybody available?
	Nobody showed up, man.
	Hey, anybody available?
	Hey, John.
	Hey, John, man.
	Hey, what?
	I'm in bed.
	Hey, man, wake up.
	We need 5,000 men for NATO, man.
	Who you got?
	Yeah, do it tomorrow.
	What's the rush?
	Who you got?
	I don't know, man.
	Put it in the paper that is 48 hours.
	48 hours!
	We got 48 hours.
	I'm going back to bed.
	Alright, see ya.
	You don't know what capabilities they're going to bring.
	And so the idea is to have a common set of procedures, a common set of processes, and then train all the individuals who are going to potentially be...
	Wait a minute.
	You're telling me NATO, which has been around since the, what, the 50s?
	They haven't trained?
	We don't have a set of common procedures?
	This is a rip-off, man.
	They're ripping us off.
	This is BBC. The new procedures, the rubble-ized procedures, aren't in place.
	Oh, that's true.
	You make a point.
	So when they show up, regardless of what nation they're from, they can perform those roles the same.
	Ooh, nice jet flyby.
	The military believe all this intelligence will make targeting more accurate and limit collateral damage.
	Limit!
	Oh, crap.
	I'm sorry.
	We'll only kill half your family.
	Ultimately, it's still about directing the use of lethal force, whether from land, air, or sea.
	Even in a digital age, they'll still be using bombs and bullets.
	Bombs and bullets, I tell you.
	All right.
	I just had to...
	Okay, now let's go to the present.
	This was, I feel...
	A very important speech.
	It really tipped the scales.
	Now, I want to revisit for a moment that what happened in Ukraine, the basic facts...
	There was an EU agreement which was rescinded.
	The government of Ukraine was elected democratically.
	There were many monitors there.
	Everyone agreed.
	It was all good.
	It was safe.
	It was good to go.
	But then they rejected, with a big debt to Russia, the European Friendship Agreement, which is like trading friendship rings.
	And that was not okay.
	And then we had Victoria Nuland and her husband, Robert Kagan, and the Kagans and McCain, and everybody's over there with a bunch of known neo-Nazis.
	I'm not making this up.
	And then it got really hot and heavy, and people were getting shot.
	The SWAT team of Ukraine were getting picked off, shot in the head by sharpshooters.
	Oh, do you remember Catherine Ashton, the high representative, known chin monster, saying, oh, they're really short.
	I had no idea they're short.
	Oh, well, we should investigate that.
	Then we had Victoria Nuland, who said, we're going to put these guys in.
	Yeah, let's get him in.
	Fuck the EU. I'm not going to play the jingle.
	So now we have...
	That is a good summary.
	Summary, right?
	And then Poroshenko, the president, he ran away because they were trying to kill him.
	Right.
	And then they freed the Princess Leia.
	And they freed his house.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So here is the president.
	It was about a half hour long.
	He's in Estonia on his way to speaking or being a part of the big NATO gathering in Wales.
	And here he is speaking about Ukraine.
	The Baltics have made our alliance stronger.
	And your progress reflects a larger truth.
	Well, it's the Baltics, but I have it labeled as Ukraine, so it should be coming.
	Because of the work of generations, because we stood together in a great alliance, because people across this continent have forged a European Union dedicated to cooperation and peace, we've made historic progress towards the vision we share.
	A Europe that is whole and free and at peace.
	Here we go.
	A Europe that is whole, is free, And at peace.
	I need to point out for time, I have removed every pause this guy puts in his speech.
	Oh, well, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
	That takes hours.
	I spend a lot of time on this.
	This guy has turned into the worst public speaker.
	Well, he's adding all this emphasis.
	He's at this big hall and there's all these elites sitting there.
	There's a lot of applause.
	But I removed as much of the pauses, which sometimes are three seconds in length, like this one.
	But this is important because he's talking about the free and open and blah blah Europe.
	That is whole and free and at peace.
	And yet, as we gather here today, we know that this vision is threatened.
	Threatened.
	By Russia's aggression against Ukraine.
	Okay, now, this is heavy talk.
	I feel this to be very heavy.
	It is a brazen assault on the territorial integrity of Ukraine, a sovereign and independent European nation.
	Which doesn't mean they're a member of the EU, but it's tricky language.
	It challenges that most basic of principles of our international system.
	Ah!
	The most basic of principles of our international system.
	Please pay attention to what the President of the United States is saying here.
	That borders cannot be redrawn at the barrel of a gun.
	Unless you're in Iraq.
	That nations have the right to determine their own future.
	Unless you're in Iraq.
	It undermines an international order where the rights of peoples and nations are upheld and can't simply be taken away by brute force.
	Unless you're in Iraq.
	And South Sudan.
	And South Sudan and North Korea and Afghanistan.
	Yeah, we got a couple of them.
	...at stake in Ukraine.
	This is why we stand with the people of Ukraine today.
	Ah.
	Yes!
	Slow clap.
	Yeah.
	Right on, brother.
	We stand with them.
	We stand with them.
	Good.
	Now, let's talk about some facts.
	This is where history is rewritten before your very eyes, and I get bile in my throat from hearing these...
	It's live.
	Now let's put to rest, once and for all, the distortions or outdated thinking.
	Outdated thinking.
	Oh, I like the way he does this.
	This is good.
	Outdated.
	He combines the word distortion.
	And outdated.
	And outdated thinking.
	So anything he says here is both.
	Yes, outdated and distorted.
	Think about it.
	No, this is good.
	It's good.
	The guy is good.
	He's reading, but he's good.
	Thinking that has caused this crisis.
	Our NATO alliance is not aimed against any other nation.
	Oh, no.
	We're an alliance of democracies dedicated to our own collective defense.
	The protests in Ukraine on the Maidan were not led by neo-Nazis or fascists.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I must have my information wrong.
	They were led by ordinary Ukrainians.
	Oh, yeah.
	Men and women.
	Young and old.
	Men and women.
	Grandmothers.
	No one, no sharpshooters nowhere, no, no.
	Who are fed up with a corrupt regime.
	Oh yes, they were fed up with a corrupt regime.
	I'm sorry, a democratically elected regime or parliament and president with international monitors is just not a regime.
	This is very, very, very, very sad that this hopeful president, we put so much hope in, it has resorted to this.
	You're just a Russian apologist.
	Well, there's that.
	And who wanted to share in the progress and prosperity that they see in the rest of Europe.
	Without paying their bill!
	And they did not engage in an armed seizure of power.
	Oh!
	After an agreement was brokered for constitutional reform.
	Oh!
	The former president then abandoned his office.
	Because he was going to be killed.
	We're going to kill him.
	We're going to run for it.
	We're going to kill him.
	And parliament endorsed new elections.
	Which we kind of pushed up to the forefront there with Victoria Nuland and with John McCain taking pictures with them and exactly what they said would be.
	And they headed the CIA roaming around the area.
	Oh, and there's that.
	So that today Ukrainians have a new democratically elected president.
	Yes, new, new democratically elected president.
	Some more facts for you from our president.
	And the Russian forces that have now moved into Ukraine are not on a humanitarian or peacekeeping mission?
	No.
	No, they're not trying to help anybody.
	I think they're up to no good.
	John, what do you think?
	Oh yeah, definitely, definitely.
	No good.
	There are Russian combat forces with Russian weapons in Russian tanks.
	Unlike ISIS with American weapons and American tanks and Toyotas built in America.
	Now, these are the facts.
	Thank you very much.
	They're provable.
	Provable!
	With a YouTube video, they're provable.
	We have it on social media.
	It's proof.
	They're not subject to dispute.
	Aha!
	Not subject to dispute.
	Do you feel you want to dispute this, Mr.
	Dvorak?
	No.
	Not anymore, right?
	Okay, now let us understand what is going to happen, why this is taking place.
	We have these three Baltic states.
	If you look at them, we have Estonia, Lithuania, and is it Latvia?
	I think the three Baltic states.
	You need to look at the map, people.
	Get your map and look at this, and you'll see that we are now surrounding Russia the way we always wanted to.
	And this, of course, these are...
	NATO members, they're full-on NATO members, so therefore, Article 5, if you attack one, you attack all, and let's just make sure everybody hears this.
	Do not drive one LADA! Automobile into any of these Baltic states, or you have attacked!
	And it will give us license to take our boots on the ground and counterattack.
	And I say to the people of Estonia and the people of the Baltics, today we are bound by our treaty alliance.
	We have a solemn duty to each other.
	Article 5 is crystal clear.
	An attack on one is an attack on all.
	So if in such a moment you ever ask again who will come to help, you'll know the answer.
	The NATO alliance, including the armed forces of the United States of America, right here, present, now.
	Gee, what a threat.
	Oh yeah, right here, right now.
	We will come to your aid.
	America, America, America coming to you.
	Coming to you.
	Here and now.
	Now and here.
	Here and now.
	And then he wraps it up with just a beautiful piece of work.
	We must acknowledge the inherent dignity and human rights of every person because our democracies cannot truly succeed until we root out bias and prejudice both from our institutions and from our hearts.
	We have to uphold a free press and freedom of speech because, in the end, lies and misinformation are no match to the truth.
	We have to embrace open and inclusive societies because our countries are more successful and more prosperous when we welcome the talents of all our people, including minorities.
	That's part of the work that we must do.
	That's the example we must have.
	Fear is freedom.
	Subjugation is liberation.
	Contradiction is truth.
	Those are the facts of this world.
	And you will all surrender to them.
	You pigs in human clothing!
	Look, I was hung over, but...
	Yeah, you're almost there with that one.
	Not as good as the other one, but I see what you spent your time on.
	Let's listen to Jack Matlock for a second.
	Which one?
	The one that says, sums up Ukraine's situation.
	This guy was the former ambassador from the United States to the Soviet Union.
	He's written a bunch of books on this.
	He's completely against all this crap.
	And he summarizes, I've got two clips from him, there's three there, but one of them is just an archive.
	But the two clips are very good.
	One is the Jack Matlock sums up Ukraine, and the other one is what does Russia want?
	You can probably run them back-to-back.
	Joining us now is Jack Matlock, served as U.S. ambassador to the former...
	It's Democracy Now!, by the way, which I love.
	It's your beat.
	It's your beat.
	Democracy Now!
	is...
	I have...
	Recently has really corrupted itself, and I've got a clip that kind of proves it.
	I don't like the show at all.
	Let's do Matlock first, and then we'll bring down...
	Jack Matlock, and then what Russia wants.
	Then we'll bring down Amy Goodman.
	Joining us now is Jack Matlock, served as U.S. Ambassador to the former Soviet Union from 1987 to 1991, author of several books, including Superpower Illusions, How Myths and False Ideologies Led America Astray and How to Return to Reality, as well as Reagan and Gorbachev, How the Cold War Ended.
	Ambassador Matlock, we welcome you to Democracy Now!
	What do you think is most important to understand what's happening in Ukraine today?
	Well, I think one of the most important things to understand is that practically speaking, the Ukrainians and the Russians have to agree on what would be an acceptable way to proceed within Ukraine.
	That is a fact of the matter.
	And one can, you know, one wishes about how impermissible it is for Russia to intervene.
	But the fact is they are going to intervene until they are certain that there is no prospect of Ukraine becoming a member of NATO. No, that makes sense.
	And when she kind of reiterates this, he repeats himself in a different kind of a way, and this is the what does Russia want question.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I had the wrong clip.
	Yep.
	Ukrainian leaders.
	What does Russia want, Ambassador Mala?
	There you go.
	I'm sorry?
	What does Russia want?
	What does Russia want?
	They want a Ukraine that is not a threat to them.
	A friendly Ukraine.
	That's what they want.
	And the people who seized power in Kyiv in February are openly and vehemently anti-Russian.
	Now, they may have a good reason for that, but that view is not shared by the people in the East, who don't necessarily want to be part of Russia, but they also don't want a country which deprives them of free contact with Russia.
	And this is, in essence, a family fight.
	That's something we have to understand, we outsiders.
	Ukraine is a very complex country, which has been put together rather artificially, to be frank, and without any real consultation of the Ukrainians as to where the borders were, and so on.
	And to treat it as if it's some primordial unified state is simply incorrect.
	He's right.
	Historically speaking, this man is absolutely correct.
	Yes, and Obama's wrong.
	And this whole thing is bullcrap.
	And they're setting us up, and this is obviously just another ploy to sell more arms and crap.
	And the Russians aren't going to put up with it.
	I think it's worse than that.
	And I'm just going to go back to the simple fact that she said...
	And here is, this is the real bottom line.
	What's going on here that some people see, people who have run businesses, but the shittisonry is not being told this.
	They do not see it.
	And President Obama did talk about this in his speech.
	And make no mistake, Russia is paying a price.
	Really?
	Capital is fleeing.
	Foreign investment is plummeting.
	Because investors know that today's Russia is a bad bet.
	Oh, yeah.
	Given its behavior.
	The Russian economy has slipped into recession.
	Its energy production, which is the engine of the Russian economy...
	Is pumping better than ever.
	...is expected to drop.
	Oh, expected.
	Its credit rating is near junk status.
	Who gives a crap?
	So is ours.
	The ruble just fell to an all-time low.
	Ooh!
	In short, Russia's actions in Ukraine are weakening Russia.
	Oh, yeah!
	Russia's actions are hurting the Russian people.
	Yes.
	And it doesn't have to be this way.
	The actions are hurting the European people.
	People of Europe.
	You have new representation.
	You've got the crazy Toos guy.
	You've got the crazy Italian chick.
	And they apparently buy hook, line, and sinker, the entire media scenario.
	The American playbook.
	While you're sitting there in Amsterdam, they come up to you and give you American memes, which I find to be fascinating.
	I am going to tell you right now That I am so far out there that I even see a...
	I'm thinking Putin's in on it.
	This is all about F the EU. And it was not beyond the realm of globalist thinking.
	That elements from Russia who happen to be in that region and elements from the Atlanticists are both working to F the EU. If you don't think that it wouldn't be advantageous to both Russia and the United States to screw the Euro, you're crazy.
	And what is happening right now is we're going into winter.
	You're going to be paying very high energy prices.
	All of your dairy products are foreboding.
	Your financial products are foreboding.
	Europe is on the brink of a huge disaster.
	And guess what?
	And John, you've said it.
	We're going to make you kill each other.
	We're going to do the same old trick.
	And you're going to get mad at the French or the Walloons or the Belgians or whatever.
	You're going to get angry with each other and Russia and America are going to be laughing at you.
	And it's sad and despicable what's going on.
	But if you can't see this, if you can't read your history books and see, then you get what you deserve.
	Or you deserve what you get.
	We're both.
	Yeah.
	I mean, John, I'm seeing this here.
	I'm really seeing it.
	And no one, people aren't even talking.
	Oh, we can't, oh no.
	We can't really blame Russia yet because, you know, the results of the black box aren't in.
	Our prime minister told us to really, really slow down and wait, you know, until we have all the results.
	This is going to take years.
	You're never going to get results.
	You are being fooled, people.
	You're being fooled.
	I feel bad.
	But it's...
	Okay.
	All right, now that we...
	I'm done.
	I've said it.
	I've said it.
	I've said...
	Okay, well, I'm glad you're over there watching.
	Take Democracy Now!
	down for me, will you?
	Let me do a couple of Democracy Now!
	down things.
	First, let's start with the bullcrap report on the Ukraine, which is this one.
	Did she actually say the Ukraine or just Ukraine?
	I said the Ukraine.
	Okay.
	I don't know if they do.
	Democracy Now!
	bullcrap report.
	Now, I'll tell you, you have to imagine this is going to be...
	I'll tell you what you're seeing after you've played it.
	And I clipped it short because I don't want the whole report.
	I just want to make a point.
	87 to 91.
	Ole Savong, talk about the situation on the ground right now and describe the map of Ukraine for us, where the crisis is.
	Well, Luhansk is a city that has been under siege by the Ukrainian army for several weeks now.
	It's held by the Separatist forces.
	So it is a place that's difficult to get into.
	All communications are cut.
	And so we know less about what's going on in Luhansk than in other places.
	And that's part of the reason why we felt that it was so important to get there.
	And the interesting thing was that when you...
	It ends with him saying, listen to the last part again where he says it was so difficult.
	He says it's important.
	He fumbles.
	He says the truth here, and I'm going to tell you why.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	I just might as well play it over.
	I just might as well play it in context.
	87 to 91.
	Ole Savong, talk about the situation on the ground right now and describe the map of Ukraine for us.
	Okay, so I want to make sure everyone's listening.
	You've got to get the whole thing in context.
	Describe the map of Ukraine for us.
	Where the crisis is.
	Well, Luhansk is a city that has been under siege by the Ukrainian army for several weeks now.
	It's held by the Separatist forces.
	So it is a place that's difficult to get into.
	All communications are cut.
	And so we know less about what's going on in Luhansk than in other places.
	And that's part of the reason why we felt that it was so important.
	Good.
	Good one.
	Now, the reason that's interesting is because this guy is...
	If you look behind him on this visual, what would you imagine in a million years it was behind him?
	A map.
	The Eiffel Tower.
	What?
	The Eiffel Tower?
	He's in Paris.
	Well, that's where all the best Ukrainian reporting comes from.
	And let me ask you a question.
	It's so difficult to do all this crap because communications are cut.
	Have you ever heard of a satellite phone?
	Don't reporters routinely use those in areas like this?
	Did they take the satellite phone system down?
	I missed that announcement.
	When you use the satellite phone, you'll be fine.
	You can get all your reports out.
	Yeah, easily.
	So the guys in Paris...
	How about Ham Radio?
	Actually, yes.
	Ham Radio, you can get the reports out.
	So, okay.
	So this is bullcrap.
	Then I said, this is terrible.
	They got some guy in Paris living it up, bitching and moaning about what's going on in the Ukraine as well as some sort of report.
	So now we have...
	We have part of the news thing.
	I want to play something.
	This is the democracy now out of context remarks.
	I just want to add a little tidbit to the end of this one.
	On Tuesday, an Italian newspaper reported Putin had told outgoing European Commission President Jose Emanuel Barroso that he could take Ukraine's capital, Kiev, within two weeks if he wanted to.
	The Kremlin said the remark was taken out of context.
	Okay, now, that's it.
	They end that report right there and they go on.
	Why don't they do a little research and give us the context?
	They got a big staff.
	The context, you know what the context was.
	You said, why would we do that?
	Because if we wanted to, we could take Kiev in two weeks.
	We could take this area if it was us.
	It's the rebels.
	It's not us.
	What he's saying is the same thing.
	Why would we shoot a plane out of the sky?
	We wouldn't want to do that.
	That was all part of it.
	Why would we have to hide our soldiers as a humanitarian aid?
	If we want to go in, we'll kick your ass.
	Right, and that would be the context.
	Now, so now we get to this part here.
	This was the end for me.
	It was like, they don't tell us any details.
	There's a trial going on about some Blackwater guys.
	And she starts to report on it.
	She doesn't tell us where the trial is, no details of the trial, but you get a little interesting twist at the end, which turns out, as far as I can tell, this entire report is native advertising for something.
	Jurors will begin deliberating this week in the murder and manslaughter trial of four former Blackwater operatives allegedly involved in a 2007 massacre at Baghdad's Nisar Square.
	The suspects are charged with the deaths of 14 of the 17 Iraqi civilians who died when their Blackwater unit Indiscriminately open fire.
	The trial features testimony from witnesses who survived the attack and saw loved ones gunned down.
	In closing arguments last week, prosecutors said Blackwater guards had shot fleeing civilians and boasted of taking their lives.
	Nisser Square is the highest-profile deadly incident involving Blackwater or any private war contractor.
	The first witness to testify in the Blackwater trial was a man named Mohamed Kanani.
	He broke down when describing how his nine-year-old son, Ali, was shot in the head while riding in the back seat of the family car.
	Kanani reportedly sobbed so uncontrollably when testifying that Judge Royce Lamberth temporarily dismissed the jury.
	The next day, one juror said she'd been too haunted to sleep, causing the judge to excuse her from service.
	Well, we turn now to a remarkable documentary that tells Muhammad and Ali Kanani's story.
	It's called Blackwater's Youngest Victim.
	The film was created by Big Noise Films and Democracy Now!
	in association with The Nation magazine and The Nation Institute, shot by Rick Rowley, narrated by Jeremy Scahill.
	It begins with Muhammad Kanani recalling the day he lost his son.
	So they switch over from this news story to some crappy documentary that's just about this one guy.
	And so I have a very short clip of him talking.
	This is the clip of the Scahill documentary is the name of it.
	This guy, he's very expensive looking.
	He looks like he's got a shaved head, a douchebag goatee, With the mustache that goes around the mouth.
	He's very slick.
	He's wearing an expensive suit.
	And he's like an Iranian nightclub owner kind of look.
	And he's telling us a bull crap story about how he was personally greeting the soldiers, which nobody did, that came in in 2003 and it was a big deal.
	I'm thinking this is bull crap from the get-go.
	This guy's an actor.
	This documentary, they're promoting it.
	This is a promotion for the documentary to try to, I don't know...
	Do we know the name of said documentary?
	Well, it was called...
	Actually, I'd have to look it up.
	I did know the name.
	I think she mentions it.
	She mentions it at the end of that report of hers.
	But play a little clip of this guy's talking about...
	And by the way, they showed B-roll of the family car where the kid was shot in the back seat.
	It's a Toyota truck.
	It's got two seats in the front.
	There's no back seat.
	It's a pickup truck.
	They've mixed their B-roll wrong.
	They've screwed it up wrong.
	When U.S. forces rolled into Baghdad in April of 2003, Mohammed proudly took his son to greet the men he called their liberators, the U.S. military.
	Mohammed was that rare personification of the neoconservative narrative about the U.S. invasion.
	The first day the American army entered Baghdad, I handed out juice and candy in the street to celebrate our liberation from Saddam.
	Before September 16, 2007, Mohammed had never heard of Blackwater.
	Now he thinks of them and that day every waking moment.
	Anyway, I do have one little piece of additional information to that from my intelligence sources.
	In Ukraine, over 600 contractors have been killed in this war, which is Russians, and most of them from Academy slash Blackwater.
	Now, I have no proof.
	I only have my intelligence sources, but I would believe it.
	Something's up.
	I wouldn't believe that.
	And this documentary is a little thin.
	And I didn't like the way they did it.
	I just thought the whole thing was a sleazy report.
	And then they plugged this documentary, because I guess the democracy, now she said it, is one of the producers.
	Of course, that's why.
	Why else would you do it?
	They've got to get their money back.
	Mainstream media is either selling you a product they want you to go buy, or they're selling you another entertainment product.
	There's nothing else going on.
	Joan Rivers died.
	Oh, she did?
	Yeah.
	Just now?
	Yeah, it just came out the news.
	Yeah, probably just now.
	Because she was...
	Yeah, she had a...
	I guess, I don't know.
	She had an issue.
	She just stopped breathing the other day.
	Yeah, the no breathing cardiac arrest issue.
	That old thing.
	Yeah, that's not a good thing.
	Well, that sucks.
	Well, at least it wasn't on your birthday.
	Yeah, but, you know, I like her.
	I work with her.
	Have you ever met her?
	No, I never did.
	I saw her stand-up when she was younger.
	Her real stand-up.
	I used to go on her show.
	Very good performer.
	I used to go on her show in New York, the Joan Rivers show.
	The MTV gossip expert.
	She was always very kind.
	She was very nice.
	I feel bad about that.
	How old was she?
	80?
	No, I think she was.
	I remember I was on a...
	Back in the day when I was flying a virgin upper class to San Francisco from London.
	And she was on that.
	Man, she looked 180.
	And she was really, really walking slow.
	And she was kind of incognito.
	She was not Joan Rivers like on, John.
	You know, like she was on.
	Hmm.
	Well, who's next?
	Don't we need three?
	Yeah, now there's going to be two more.
	No, we already had...
	No, no, that's all it counts.
	What?
	We accounted for that, that last group.
	She was 81.
	Oh, that's young.
	That's too young.
	81, that's no good.
	She's under the knife a lot.
	That adds years to you.
	It hurts, doesn't it?
	Yeah.
	Sorry about that.
	So I remember a couple of shows ago I pointed out that crazy news report about the Kia.
	Yes, yeah, the hamster car, yes.
	The Kia was kill people, and people had their belts on, and they had safety belts on, and they still all died in the Kia.
	Yeah, it was a hit job on the Kia is what it was.
	Yeah, it was a hit job on the Kia.
	It was on KPIX. So I'm just recording casually on KPIX as a football game.
	This was just this last weekend.
	So play the KPIX advertising.
	Nelson and Nelson connecting twice for scores.
	At Kia's once-a-year sign-in-and-drive-it sales event, a simple signature can put you behind the wheel of a sporty new 2015 Optima LX. It's zero down and zero due in signing for qualified lessees, but it's only available at your local Kia dealers through September 2nd.
	All is well.
	All is well at the local station.
	We had some make-dos and make-goods.
	Something had to happen there.
	We had to fix some stuff.
	Oh, okay.
	I'm watching, you know, Woodruff, our buddy who was at the CAA. Yeah, you mean all the President's Men guy?
	Not Woodruff, Woodward.
	Woodward, oh, okay, Woodward.
	Yeah, Woodward the guy.
	Yeah.
	His background is carefully outlined in the Family of Secret books, which was a good read.
	A lot of people didn't like it, but I thought it was a great read.
	I liked it.
	So tell me if you don't think this is, he's interviewing John Dean about his new book.
	Who's John Dean?
	On the C-SPAN book show where they have an expert interviewing an expert.
	Uh-huh.
	And tell me this kind of wasn't a zinger here that John Dean kind of throws at Woodward.
	This is the Dean Woodward zinger.
	Well, I have two.
	I have a John Dean Woodward zinger and I have a Dean Woodward zinger.
	Oh, the one's a WAV file.
	Just ignore that.
	Yeah, the same.
	Please.
	Political intelligence, by whatever means they thought they might be able to do it.
	And this was the mindset that came right from the top of the White House.
	You know, when presidents wear hats, all their staff wear hats.
	When presidents have fires in the fireplace, all the staff has a fire in their fireplace.
	The president doesn't do that thing, they don't do them.
	And so it really comes from the top.
	And the concentration of power in the presidency is astounding.
	It is, and this has largely been because Congress doesn't want to take these things on.
	Things that have to be done.
	Take the area of intelligence, which is an area in your national security you've dealt with for a long time.
	I just thought that was subtle.
	And blow me.
	Hey, here's a tip.
	Here's a no agenda tip.
	If you are ever going to have any kind of plastic surgery done or any kind of procedure, don't say this before you go in.
	And do you think that the country will see the first, the United States will see the first gay president or the first woman president?
	Well, we already have it with Obama, so let's just calm down.
	Got it.
	You know Michelle is a trans.
	I'm sorry, she's a what?
	A transgender.
	We all know.
	Oh my gosh.
	Oh gosh.
	You know, it's just a tip.
	I remember her saying this.
	Did we run it on the show when it came out?
	Yeah, of course.
	Michelle Obama's a tramp.
	She's transgender.
	John, let me tell you when we played this.
	Yeah, that's not a good thing to go out and say.
	It can get you dead.
	Let me tell you when we played it.
	We played this July 6th.
	Yeah.
	So, it wasn't that long ago.
	And now, she's dead.
	Two months.
	Now she's dead.
	It probably took two months for the clip to get to the White House.
	Well, hey!
	Hey!
	Hey!
	Who am I now?
	Hey!
	That was my Michelle Obama impersonation.
	Alright, we gotta end this show.
	Three hours.
	I think we've done our job.
	I want you to play something as an outro after we sign off.
	You've got to play the BBC 1932 Honesty clip as part of the end of show clips.
	Beautiful.
	I'm happy to do that.
	Right?
	You know what I'm talking about.
	Yeah, I got it right here.
	This was a clip done in 1932 when they were introducing some BBC services to, I think it was Australia or Canada or someplace.
	There's an intro and an outro to the clip.
	It's very funny.
	Good.
	I guess that should do it.
	That should do it.
	Yeah, that does it for me.
	Coming to you here from Gitmo Nation Lowlands.
	Good morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And by the way, I never heard any Essentialies.
	No, I'm working on it.
	And I was listening for them, too, because I have a new device that will sound the alarm.
	So you might be able to use that on Sunday.
	Maybe.
	Maybe.
	I said my in the morning everything.
	Anyway, I'm John C. I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry, folks.
	I'm so enthralled by the show that I forgot that I'm supposed to sign out.
	I'm John C. Dvorak in Silicon Valley.
	And we'll talk to you again on Sunday right here on No Agenda.
	In December 1932, the BBC's Empire Service, the forerunner of the World Service, began broadcasting across the world on shortwave radio from a transmitting station in Daventry in Northamptonshire.
	The opening programme on the new international service was delivered by a brutally honest wreath.
	Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
	This occasion is as significant as any in the ten years of British broadcasting.
	It is a significant occasion in the history of the British Empire.
	As to programs, don't expect too much in the early days.
	The programs will neither be very interesting nor very good.
	Happy birthday to Mr.
	Cooley.
	Thank you for taking the time to listen.
	The best podcast in the universe!

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