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May 8, 2014 - No Agenda

03:17:19

615: Gravity Bomb

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Time	Text
	A4 paper is ugly.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Thursday, May 8th, 2014.
	It's time for your Gitmo Nation media assassination.
	Episode 615.
	This is No Agenda.
	Kicking off another period of media disruption.
	Hey!
	What happened?
	I don't know.
	It got disrupted.
	Here we go.
	Hey!
	Kicking off another period of media disruption from FEMA Region 6 here in the Travis Heights head out in Austin Tejas in the morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where I'm still fascinated by 1956.
	I'm John C. Devorak.
	All righty.
	It's the new system, John.
	That's all.
	I'm just getting used to it.
	What'd you do?
	You elbowed it?
	No.
	Well, the cart machine is in a different spot on the table now.
	The cart machine?
	Yeah.
	Talking about 1956.
	Do you remember back in the old days, you had the actual cart machine?
	And I had this in college.
	Yeah, and you had a thing that spun around that had all the carts in it.
	Right.
	Carousel.
	In the 80s and 90s, before we got computerized studios, you had the 8-track cart, which was a basically...
	No, it was a 4-track.
	It wasn't an 8-track cart.
	It was the housing of an 8-track, essentially.
	It was similar.
	Similar, yeah.
	The system was similar, except the tape was on a loop.
	And you could get a 60-second cart or a 5-minute cart or a 30-minute cart.
	And you had to erase them.
	Remember the bulk eraser?
	Yeah, a big giant thing.
	A big giant magnet.
	Those things are fantastic.
	But before that, you didn't have the automatic cart machine where the roller pin would pop up the minute you inserted the cart.
	You actually had a lever.
	So you'd put the cart in, and then you had a lever you'd pull back.
	You pulled it, yeah.
	Yeah, and then that would bring the rubber wheel up, and then when you hit the button, it would go.
	Yeah.
	So anyway, so our cart machine...
	Virtual.
	We sound like two old geezers, but go on.
	Uh, hello?
	Yeah, we are two old geezers.
	That's part of the charm!
	No, no.
	Yeah, it is.
	Nothing charming about it.
	It's totally charming!
	Mm-mm.
	Who told you this?
	I'm a radio-pronouncicated professional.
	I know how these things work.
	Pronouncicated.
	I know what people like.
	Well, anyway, I've been monitoring all the news channels, and obviously, with everything going on in the world, it is very clear that Monica Lewinsky is the top of the news.
	Yeah, apparently.
	No wonder people listen to our show.
	My thesis is that it's Elizabeth Warren that made this happen.
	Yeah, I'm not going to talk about it.
	I just refuse.
	I think it's very important for me, because I'm still promoting the Elizabeth Warren scenario.
	The Pocahontas program.
	I don't know why I keep forgetting to call it Pocahontas.
	You know, one day someone's going to say, Hey man, that's totally racist.
	You guys are racist.
	You're calling him Pocahontas.
	That's racist.
	Well, I have this...
	I got some flack from some joker because I was critical.
	I blocked him, by the way.
	Of course.
	I always watch you reply to someone.
	But you didn't say, blocked!
	I did in this case.
	You did not.
	I didn't see that.
	I think you should look again.
	Oh, okay.
	Blocked!
	You're blocked!
	I just just hashtag blocked.
	Okay.
	And, uh...
	So I found this medley of...
	And we should maybe start the show with it, because it's kind of amusing.
	You have to...
	Oh, yeah.
	You know, it's funny.
	This, all of a sudden...
	I don't know where it appeared, but this thing...
	You can see where something goes viral.
	It just exploded into my mailbox.
	And I have the clip as well, of course.
	The problem with it is...
	There's no kind of a setup for any of his lines, and you'll miss a few of them because it's just popping them one after another.
	But there's a couple beauties in here you can't miss.
	All right, so you have to set it up so people know what the hell we're going to listen to.
	Yeah, this is Al Sharpton.
	He can't read from the teleprompter, and he also can't pronounce words.
	To say the least.
	You put the two together and you get this.
	But resist, we much.
	We must.
	They're all jitty about a shutdown.
	The Tortoise in the race.
	Co-author of Hubris.
	U2 lead singer Bono.
	Fran Drescher.
	Sigournoy Weaver.
	Suspect Jahar Sanaev Rush Limbaugh.
	Rush Limbaugh, Rush Limbaugh, the show Rush Lombard host, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Santamaya, is Mike, is Mike, uh, Muckery, yesterday, Antonin, Antonin Scalia, Kim Kardashian, and the Republican candidates, both Cairo and Benghazi, re-ranked behind Latviji, uh, La Vita.
	First up, Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan to college students in Beijing.
	He's getting lunch at Chipotle in Iowa.
	Spain is appropriate.
	The GOP's tax day giveaway to millionaires.
	Why was traffic problems email sent?
	The Environmental Projection Agency and what sequestration has done.
	Yeah, and at the very end, which is a visual gag, which you cut off as well, it's like he almost throws up on camera.
	Did you get that?
	Yeah, he did something.
	He had the hiccups or something.
	There's no real conflict!
	There you go, that's my favorite.
	Yeah, they left that one out.
	Yeah, that's my favorite.
	And also, the ones I like the best, there are three of them, I like the, instead of saying Latvia, he says La Vita.
	Environmental Projection Agency.
	Environmental Projection Agency may be a top.
	And then the Chipolet.
	Well, Hubris is also kind of interesting.
	And then the Chief Justice...
	So is Sonia Sotomayor.
	What a douchebag.
	Yeah, let me just give him a douchebag.
	Douchebag!
	So I've come up with this thesis that, uh, you're the one that came up with a thesis that Fox is really Democrats.
	Run by Democrats, of course.
	I'm beginning to think that they've turned on, uh, The GE guy's really, he always has traditionally been a Republican.
	I think that MSNBC's a Republican.
	They're just mocking, this is all mockery.
	Why would they leave this guy on?
	I mean, anybody else, anybody else who was black, anybody else who was white, anybody else who was Hispanic, who was as bad as Al Sharpton would have been fired by now.
	Well, to be fair, MTV also kept Pauly Shore on the air for a long time.
	So there is a certain schadenfreude of executives.
	So yeah, I don't know if it's necessarily a...
	It's like a bet.
	It's like someone up at the office had a bet.
	It's like trading places.
	The usual?
	I bet we can take this total bonehead and put him on the air and still get ratings!
	The usual bet, one dollar?
	Something like that.
	There's that possibility.
	Yeah, something like that.
	Eh, okay.
	Well, that was very funny.
	Not so funny is the total...
	Well, actually, I should play the jingle, I guess.
	This is Nigeria.
	The Boko Haram.
	The kidnapping, which of course we identified three and almost four weeks ago, but was nowhere on the media radar.
	Well, of course, that's a little understandable from the media perspective.
	A, no one had given the memo.
	You know, the memo is like, hey, you gotta be all over this now.
	Switch gears.
	There's also no video.
	We had the South Korean ferry.
	That was cool.
	We had kids dying and live.
	We had texts.
	Mama, I love you!
	You know, this is what TV executives live for.
	You see this thing sink in, you got divers on the spot, live video.
	I mean, you take 200 brown people on a boat or 200 brown people in Africa, you take the one with the live video.
	Right?
	Absolutely.
	And that's what they did.
	It really took them three weeks, four weeks to get to this story.
	And in fact, the stories actually developed further, and they haven't even gotten to that part yet, which really kind of surprises me.
	And I think they could get more sympathy for the shooting.
	I do have a Boko Haram kind of update from France 24, and they cover this thing.
	They're the ones who covered it from the beginning.
	It's emerged that Islamic militants who've triggered international outrage over the kidnapping of more than 270 Nigerian schoolgirls have now opened fire on a busy marketplace in the country's northeast.
	It's estimated that as many as 300 people were killed in the assault.
	Shoppers took advantage of cooler evening temperatures early on Monday evening in the town of Gamburinagala on the border with Cameroon.
	Mulfos Fankar has spoken to local journalist Abu Bakr Rabi.
	The death toll has risen to over 300, according to residents and some local officials.
	So far, I've spoken to a resident a while ago, said that they have buried 310 people that were killed in the attack.
	And the attack really depicts the weakness of the Nigerian security forces in combating Boko Haram.
	Yeah.
	There's a couple of things wrong with this story.
	Do you have any analysis that you want to get to first?
	No, all I want to do is make fun of good boy Jonathan.
	Good boy Johnny.
	Jeez.
	Okay, so there's a couple things wrong with this.
	First of all, when this happened, now we're going back almost four weeks...
	The reason why these girls were available to even be kidnapped, even though most schools were closed for security reasons, these girls had been brought back for a test by this school.
	And that was kind of convenient to just have them all sitting there ready to go.
	Then there was the mass abduction.
	Then we got the news.
	People have forgotten this.
	We got the news.
	Oh, we've recovered them all.
	We have them all back.
	And then that lasted a couple of days.
	And then the Nigerian official said, Oh, I'm sorry.
	Redo.
	We don't have them all back.
	That makes me very suspicious as to what really happened at all.
	We've seen a couple of sad faces.
	I've seen lots of stock photos all over the place.
	Oh, look at this poor girl.
	She's a sex slave now.
	But again, we have no video of anything.
	We have nothing.
	And it's not as if they don't have cell phones in Africa.
	Oh, yeah.
	There's none of that.
	No, no, there's none of that.
	There's no texting.
	Mama, I love you.
	None of that.
	Nothing.
	And it bothers me that they said, oh, we got them back, or we thwarted it, and then, oh, I'm sorry, no, we didn't.
	And that bothers me.
	Now, let's look at, well, first let's go to President Obama, who was interviewed by the epitome of news journalism, Al Roker.
	Who I guess happened to be at the White House anyway to get his programming for the...
	I'm sorry?
	To get his underwear.
	Get his underwear back.
	Have you guys washed that yet?
	I'm sure...
	No, they invited a slew of weathermen to come out to be indoctrinated, get their programming for the National Climate Assessment.
	So that's why Al was there.
	And Al sits down with the president.
	Hello?
	Hello, Al?
	Hold on.
	What happened to El?
	Cart machine again.
	Yes, it's a damn cart machine.
	Nigerian president accepted the administration's offer for help to find and rescue these young girls.
	What are your thoughts on that?
	Well, look, this is a terrible situation.
	Boko Haram, this...
	By the way, that's such a great question.
	It would be funny if the president said, well, that totally sucks.
	He should.
	What kind of question is that?
	What are your thoughts on that?
	Oh, I think it's no good, Al.
	That's just dumb.
	What a moron.
	It's almost like asking, going to Elton John and saying, so what is the song about?
	Your song.
	It's like, what a stupid idiot this guy is.
	...offer for help to find and rescue these young girls.
	What are your thoughts on that?
	Well look, this is a terrible situation.
	Boko Haram, this terrorist organization that's been operating in Nigeria, has been killing people and innocent civilians for a very long time.
	We've always identified them as one of the worst local or regional terrorist organizations there is out there.
	Not true.
	But I can only imagine what the parents are going through.
	So what we've done is we have offered, and it's been accepted, help from our military and law enforcement officials.
	We're going to do everything we can to provide assistance to them.
	In the short term, our goal, obviously, is to help the international community and the Nigerian government as a team to do everything we can to recover these young ladies.
	But we're also going to have to deal with the broader problem of organizations like this that can cause such havoc in people's day-to-day lives.
	Yeah, okay.
	So let's review.
	We have, when we had Coney, Joseph Coney, who has been kidnapping and enslaving children and selling them as sex slaves for decades, we had to have some bogative viral video campaign before finally we sent our consultants into we had to have some bogative viral video campaign before finally we But this, all it took was just, I don't know, some message went out and boom, we're there.
	Now, who is coming to the rescue?
	The United Kingdom is coming to the rescue, and the United States, because that's what we do.
	Let's listen to the team that we're sending.
	Here's spokeshold Jay Carney.
	This morning, Secretary Kerry called Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan to reiterate our offer of assistance.
	President Jonathan welcomed Secretary Kerry's offer to send a team to Nigeria to discuss how the United States can best support Nigeria in its response to this horrific event, these kidnappings.
	Our embassy is prepared to form an interdisciplinary team that could provide expertise on intelligence, investigations, and hostage negotiations, could help facilitate information sharing and provide victim assistance.
	It would include U.S. military personnel, Law enforcement officials with expertise in investigations and hostage negotiations, as well as officials with expertise in other areas that may be helpful to the Nigerian government in its response.
	Other areas.
	What could that be?
	I'm going to think accounting and finance.
	That's my guess.
	Yeah, that's the ticket.
	You know, I like to follow these things.
	I like to poke around.
	We are talking about the northeastern Borno state region of Nigeria, where in December of 2013, this is six months ago, a huge crude oil discovery in the Lake Chad Basin was announced.
	And the contract for developing this Is in hands of the NNPC, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, which is a joint venture with Chevron and Shell.
	Shell, of course, being primarily British along with Royal Dutch.
	And the problem is, in the past couple of months, there's this discrepancy of $49.6 billion that the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation did not remit to the shareholders.
	This is very annoying.
	So I'm going to think that they're sending a couple of accountants up there, and maybe we should talk to Johnny B. Goode about some regime change, because clearly things are not working out the way we had originally envisioned in the partnership deal.
	So I'm calling bullcrap on this.
	There is a few things to back you up.
	One, people have to realize, Boko Haram was never deemed a terrorist organization.
	No.
	All the while Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State.
	No.
	Never was.
	Even though people would bitch and moan about it.
	So it's possible that they were working in cahoots with our people in some way, shape, or form.
	You don't know.
	This stuff is too shady.
	Did you see the video of the supposed head of Boko Haram?
	Yeah.
	The guy with the shakes?
	The guy's from Wu-Tang Clan.
	He's got the shakes.
	He's got Tourette's.
	Oh, he has Tourette's.
	It's the Tourette's terrorist.
	It could be.
	I thought Parkinson's at first, but it could be Tourette's.
	Because it's kind of violent.
	There's a lot of really weird, really weird things that's going on.
	First of all, the name Boko Haram does not actually mean Western education is a sin.
	This was only just two days ago finally changed on the wiki page, which has been there for as long as the page has been up.
	And it's much more complicated than that.
	But you're right.
	Boko Haram was not deemed a terrorist organization, not even less than a year ago, I think.
	And I notice how Obama hedged his bet when he says they're considered the worst terrorist organization locally.
	You put them in the center of a local terrorist.
	Right, right, right.
	Whatever that means.
	So, you know, when you have the two countries that are jumping in to go help, also heavily involved in the oil exploration, with a missing, let me just say that again, $49.6 billion.
	You know, that's enough to send a couple of experts.
	Yeah, I think we need to go look up on those guys, see what's going on over there.
	And add to that, that, you know, they recovered the girls, and then they didn't recover the girls.
	You know, it's in The Guardian.
	The story is very clear.
	We got them back, and the next day, oh, I'm sorry, we didn't get them back.
	Yeah, well, that all played out before the mass media in the United States picked up the story at all.
	Oh, yeah.
	So that's not in the narrative.
	Right.
	Not in the official mainstream media narrative.
	But that, of course, is the only kind of thing that we would look at at all.
	There's no mention of this massive oil fire.
	And this only was December 2013.
	It's brand new.
	And it's huge, of course.
	Yeah, it seems like an unlikely coincidence.
	Especially it's in the area where the girls were taken.
	Coincidence?
	I think not!
	Alright, well I guess that makes the show worthwhile for everybody out there.
	Yeah, thanks for listening everybody.
	You can take that and you can just...
	But it's fun though, when you look at these things and you just really only...
	It was one Google search for me.
	Here's how you do it.
	Here's how No Agenda does it.
	Nigeria, oil.
	Yeah.
	It's an old trick.
	It works.
	Actually, that's not entirely true.
	I looked at the region...
	The Borno region.
	And I did Nigeria Borno oil.
	Oh, you did three words.
	Oh, man.
	A three-word search.
	You put a lot of work into that one.
	It's funny that no other show does that.
	Or any other news outfit, for that matter.
	So this good luck Jonathan character, he was a general or generalissimo or something like that before he became the poncho.
	They're going to rouse him, there's no doubt about it.
	He's out.
	He's a do-nothing loser.
	And he had this...
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Will we have elections or a referendum?
	What do you think is the best way to do it?
	Or an unfortunate accident?
	Car bomb.
	It could be.
	It could be an accident.
	It may be the most dramatic way of doing it.
	Because otherwise it's a big hassle.
	Yeah.
	Doing elections, it sucks.
	It's a hassle.
	Iran will do it.
	Right.
	Whatever the case, he used to dress up like Petraeus.
	Oh, with all his medals and everything.
	Most of his pictures, he's got this stupid hat on.
	And he's always wearing, usually black, and he's got this dumb hat.
	This guy's obviously just a scammer.
	He's probably...
	He may actually leave the country.
	If the $49 billion has anything to do with him, which you'd have to assume it does.
	Yeah, well, if you look at the website for the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, and they kicked the Chinese out in 2009.
	So, you know, the Chinese were in and they got kicked out then.
	If you look at the people who are running it, there's this one woman...
	And she's really classy looking, and she's the chairman.
	She's like a Mel DeMarcos vibe, just dripping off the page.
	I'm accusing her of stuff I know nothing about, but you look at it like, okay, you're the minister of energy?
	Yeah, alrighty.
	You know what I mean?
	Just rattle your jewels when you're ready for the meeting to start.
	It's not impossible to identify these characters.
	I mean, you may be jumping, you know, she might be the nicest person in the world, and you're completely wrong.
	Oh, and some of the biggest crooks I know are the nicest people.
	That has nothing to do with it.
	No, I'm saying she might be the nicest people and not a crook.
	It's possible.
	But generally speaking, if it looks like a crook...
	Smells like a crook.
	And it's, you know, yeah, Marcos is a good example.
	Anyway.
	You can take that to the bank.
	So I was listening to the NDAA meetings.
	Yeah, good.
	And so they were doing it.
	And what I got out of it, I didn't get that much out of it.
	There were a couple days' worth of these things, and they were putting all these amendments through, and they're slamming these amendments in as kind of pre-approved.
	Now, what exactly was the title of this?
	This is on C-SPAN, of course.
	What exactly was the title of this meeting?
	It was the Appropriations or NDAA. It was something from the...
	And this is the National Defense Authorization Act, which is all the money that gets put into the war machine.
	Renewing it and adding new stuff and pushing things around.
	And the main news that came out was there's no change to the indefinite detention clause.
	That remains.
	Yeah, that, and they've added a bunch of new stuff.
	Oh, cool.
	What's kind of interesting, you can only kind of pick up, I mean, you eventually go and look the stuff up when the thing's finally published, but you can pick up some pretty funny things.
	I have two clips, they're both pretty long, but they discuss the block of amendments that are going in.
	In other words, they're going to be pre-approved, so they're going to just be read, generalized, you know, they're going to say the amendment so-and-so, it's about this, amendment so-and-so, it's about that, and then they're going to generalize about all these amendments, and then they're going to say yes, and then they're going to go to another block.
	But I have the...
	I think the one you want to play is the block of NDAA amendments with the earmark.
	Because the head of the committee made a big point.
	There will be no earmarks.
	Ah.
	No earmarks.
	And there's an earmark in here.
	Of offering and explaining his on-block amendments.
	Mr.
	Chairman, I call up an en bloc package number one comprised of the following.
	Amendment number 16 by Mr.
	Wilson to amend the contracting authority of the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency.
	Amendment number 21 by Mr.
	Nugent concerning the Navy laser weapon system on board the USS Ponce.
	Amendment number 59 by Mr. Cook concerning briefing requirements by the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency.
	Amendment number 67R2 by Ms. Shea Porter concerning test capabilities for aerospace applications.
	Amendment number 104 by Mr. Lamborn directing a briefing on the need for near-term counter electronics capability.
	Amendment number 107 by Mr. Lamborn regarding a review of the Air Force Network-centric solutions to contract.
	Amendment number 129R1 by Mr. Lamborn.
	Lamborn regarding a plan for operational testing of the high-energy laser mobile demonstrator.
	Amendment number 133R1 by Mr.
	Maffei regarding a briefing on the development of a vaccine for equine encephalitis.
	Hold on.
	I have that.
	That's not an earmark.
	Amendment number 174 by Ms.
	Gabbard regarding a plan for improving cyber situational awareness tools.
	Amendment number 184.
	What is that?
	A web browser?
	What is a cyber situational awareness tool?
	It's a desktop.
	It's a dashboard.
	A dashboard.
	Amendment 3R1 by Mr.
	Johnson regarding a briefing on improving the department's participation with historically black colleges and universities.
	Amendment number 184 by Mr.
	Johnson regarding an increase to historically black colleges and universities for $10 million.
	Amendment number 219 by Mr.
	Carson regarding a limit.
	Wouldn't it be cool if it was just all of a sudden was like, we have an amendment by Mr.
	Carson.
	This is for $10 million for the immediate assassination crew in the No Agenda show.
	Yeah, that would be great.
	That would be the earmark.
	...of a reporting requirement for defense research facilities, amendment number 230 by myself, striking section 1062 from the bill, and amendment number 234R2 by Ms.
	Sanchez regarding a briefing on research and development for missile propulsion systems.
	Awesome.
	So they package these up.
	Some good stuff in there.
	And they call them on blocks.
	I kept hearing in block, on block, on block.
	So I actually called Lamborn's office and asked them about this.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	Did you say, hello, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	Sure do you've heard of me?
	From the No Agenda show.
	You must know who I am.
	Your nemesis.
	No, I didn't.
	And unlike Google, they actually pick up the phone, right?
	They pick up the phone, which is the way to go.
	So you call them up and you get one of the assistants that knows what they're doing because the senators and the congressmen don't.
	And what they do is call on block and it's...
	Hello, senator's office.
	Yeah, this is...
	I got a question for you.
	Yes, who am I speaking with?
	What difference does it make?
	Well, sir, for the record, we need to know who I'm speaking with.
	But how can I assist you?
	How can I assist you, sir?
	I'd like to know what this is about, all this blocking, unblocking, and blocking these packages, these amendments.
	What is going on?
	Well, sir, if I can take your details, I'll be sure to get an answer back to you.
	I'm not giving you any details, you freak.
	Is that kind of how the conversation went?
	No, it didn't at all.
	Oh.
	I just asked him specifically what was the procedure for doing these turns, and he had to spell it out for me, because I couldn't figure it out by listening to the tape.
	He says, yeah, it's en bloc, it's E-N-B-L-O-C, which is a term that means en bloc.
	Oh, en bloc, like French.
	Yeah.
	They're using French in our Senate?
	Apparently.
	What's up with that?
	So the idea is that the chairman and the Republican chairman and the Democrat...
	You should ask him, when you have dinner, do you go en table?
	With your en bloc?
	I'm trying to get the answer from this guy.
	I'm not trying to give him shit.
	So he says the two guys sit there, the two bosses on each party, and they go through the...
	I think that this would be the thing you could do a funny skit with, because it must go, you know...
	They bring up all the amendments, and the two of them decide on which ones are going to go on block.
	And then they package them.
	It's called an on block package.
	And so they say, hey, what do you think of this one, Bill?
	Spend more money.
	Oh, yeah, that's good, yeah.
	Put that in the block.
	Stamp.
	Stamp approval.
	And they package them up, and I don't know why they just don't package all hundreds of them up, but they do them in groups.
	And then there's no debate, because there's no necessary debate, because both sides agree beforehand.
	And then they have other amendments that come up, which they do debate, and usually they vote down.
	Right.
	Well, anyway, so part two, or the one that actually says block one, this is block one, this other little list, has got all the really cool stuff in it.
	I call amendment on block package number one comprised of the following, amendment number 25 by Ms.
	Laworski.
	To amend section 215 concerning the weather satellite follow-on system.
	Amendment number 51, revision 1 by Mr.
	Bridenstine concerning Russian Global Navigation Satellite System ground monitoring stations.
	Basically, someone wants to build a GPS receiver.
	I'm not sure what that, you know, we're going to have to go back and look at some of these, because what is...
	Well, the Russians have their own GPS satellite system, and he just literally said, it's the Russian global system monitoring station.
	Right.
	So it's a house with a GPS receiver in it, with a dude.
	Some guy on a laptop.
	With a dude.
	Sitting there.
	Vision one by Mr.
	Bridenstine concerning Russian Global Navigation Satellite System ground monitoring stations.
	Oh, multiple stations.
	How about some smartphones?
	60 revision number one.
	Billion dollar right there.
	Oh, yeah.
	By Mr. Brooks of Alabama concerning conventional prompt strike systems.
	Amendment number 70, revision one by Ms. Sanchez concerning briefing on B61 gravity bombs.
	Gravity bombs!
	laughs I had to look that one up.
	As opposed to the bombs that fall upwards?
	The gravity bomb, which I thought was cool sounding because it's like it blows up and then gravity disappears and everyone floats off into space.
	That'd be great.
	Yeah!
	The Gravity Bomb is a tactical nuke that can be flown on an F-16, and it's been in the arsenal apparently since the 70s or something.
	There were more recent versions in the 90s.
	They're old, but they keep them around.
	These are the ones that they keep losing.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's the Broken Arrow is what it is.
	Yeah, those things.
	The Broken Arrow.
	I like the name of it.
	Yeah, it's good.
	It's good.
	Write that down for a possible show title.
	Gravity bomb.
	Amendment number 72 by Ms.
	Sanchez concerning the retirement of ICBM silos.
	Amendment number 77, revision one by Mr.
	Turner concerning a study on center of excellence on deterrence for NATO. Amendment number 82, revision one by Mr.
	Turner concerning the deployment of certain theater missile defenses to assure our NATO allies.
	Amendment number 92, revision by Mr.
	Larson concerning a briefing by the director of naval reactors.
	Amendment number 93 by Mr.
	Larson concerning a briefing on the Ah!
	Stop shooting shit in space.
	This is the...
	Code of conduct.
	When you listen to these hearings and they roll out these amendments, you just feel the money being sucked.
	That last 20 seconds was probably $5 billion.
	And we don't even know what they were talking about.
	Yeah.
	No, this is where your taxpayer money is going to.
	These crazy, they're just spending like crazy.
	I mean, I don't even think they're aware of how much.
	It's so out of control.
	Anyway, I was just fascinated by this.
	And there was a few things in these hearings that were kind of interesting that kept cropping up.
	There was a lot of gratuitous stuff.
	And I didn't get the clip because I couldn't find it after.
	I know I made the clip.
	There was something they were going to give Israel some, you know, what are we going to do with this system?
	And they also did a bunch, I mean, there was a lot of, what's that dome thing?
	Oh, Iron Dome?
	Iron Dome was discussed.
	And just gratuitously, a guy would come out, in fact, one of them, I think it may have been Lamborn, as a matter of fact, whose office I called.
	Let's see, what do I have the clip?
	Korea Obama, they do have it.
	It could be Congress.
	No, this is not it.
	But this Congress at its best is a funny clip.
	International trade.
	No, no, don't play this.
	Stop, stop, stop.
	I don't see.
	I'm just following directions.
	I know.
	I told you to stop.
	Anyway, he goes on and on about Iron Dome and how great it is and we should just keep giving Israel more weapons.
	It was just a weird couple of days.
	And it went on forever.
	No conclusions.
	No, no.
	There's a couple.
	I got an NDAA Cyber and Lasers clip.
	Oh, wait.
	Actually, here's the good clip.
	Play this NDAA wrap-up.
	This guy kind of wraps up.
	He does it at the beginning.
	I think he's the co-chair or the majority co-chair.
	And he just kind of wraps up the whole thing.
	I think it was another money.
	I thought the money going away.
	Provisions related to cyber, science and technology, information technology, defense intelligence, special operations, counter-terrorism, and irregular warfare.
	And without going into great detail, among the things we have provisions related to are requiring an executive agent for cyber testing and training ranges, Some provisions related to Cyber Command, including some independent assessments of cloud computing, which has been an interest to a number of members.
	Yes, because it's a cool buzzword.
	We need some cloud computing stuff.
	Hey, you know what?
	We haven't purchased any cloud computing yet.
	This is not good.
	Everyone's talking about it.
	And I got my constituents, and I need some cloud computing.
	We have a number, as I mentioned, a number of provisions related to defense intelligence, provisions related to biosecurity and biodefense.
	We fully support special operations forces with the current fight in Afghanistan, Africa, the Middle East, and other areas.
	As well as continuing or extending some important counter-terrorism authorities and some authorities which allow special operations to work with indigenous or surrogate forces across the globe.
	Excellent.
	We all run the place across the globe!
	Across the globe!
	Oh, but you didn't realize we already run the place.
	No, of course I did.
	We're the empire.
	We're running the place.
	It's like a lot of work, though.
	Well, but we have a lot of people to keep busy there in Washington, D.C. and the surrounding states.
	I'm looking at you, Delaware and Virginia.
	And Carolinas, and yeah.
	So they did a little bit, and the last little clip I have is the cyber and laser clip, and I do want to talk about the laser weaponry, because I did a little research on that.
	We need to do more, always, to make sure that we're exercising maximum effort to defend our cyber networks.
	The mark today...
	Somebody get some cocaine for me, I need some cocaine.
	Hey, my nose is clogged up from the lack of the cocaine.
	I haven't yet...
	And I got like this, this, this, the situs thing going on.
	I can't get rid of it.
	I totally shot one of my nostrils.
	It sucks.
	Hey, why don't we do some gum shots?
	Got my nose in no good.
	It includes mandates that the department designate an executive agency for cyber tests and training ranges to synchronize efforts across the department to ensure robust cyber test and training.
	Hold on a second.
	Did he say RoboCyber?
	I don't know, did he?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He said robo-cyber.
	What is a training range for cyber?
	Who cares?
	It's a training range for robo-cyber.
	No.
	Yes!
	I'm backing up.
	I'm backing up.
	Listen to this again.
	...for cyber tests and training ranges to synchronize efforts across the department to ensure robust cyber...
	Yes!
	Okay.
	Training range to ensure synchronized...
	Efforts across the department of robo-cyber.
	I'm telling you, he's saying robo-cyber.
	I heard it, but I can't, you know, because he's so clogged up because it's robust.
	Let's listen one more time.
	Executive agency for cyber tests and training ranges to synchronize efforts across the department to ensure robust cyber.
	Yeah, I think you're right.
	It's robust.
	Robust cyber.
	Chatroom agrees.
	Robust cyber.
	But just the fact that anyone uses the word cyber, let's be honest.
	If you were working anywhere outside of government, and you said, yeah, no, I'm involved in cyber.
	Anyone who knows, anyone who's a technologist will look at you and go, are you an asshole?
	It's ludicrous.
	Nobody says that.
	No, no.
	Yes.
	Yes, our entire, the representatives of the American people...
	Say this all the time.
	Cyber, like it's just some thing.
	Where cyber, if you ask any kid who's 20, means jerking off together over the webcam.
	Hey, want to go cyber?
	Further, this mock also funds ongoing research and development efforts in such areas as directed energy, which shows considerable promise and could truly redefine the future of war fighting.
	Lasers, directed energy are going to be game-changing technologies.
	Oh, my favorite!
	Roll it back a little.
	Directed energy weapons.
	Yeah, that's my kind.
	Now you're talking my language.
	Because that's what melted the World Trade Center's.
	Directed energy weapon?
	Yeah, you should take a look at that stuff from above.
	Nice circles you burned there, boys.
	Future of warfighting.
	I believe that lasers, directed energy, are in fact game-changing.
	Hey, baby, I got some directed energy for you, my pants.
	Technologies.
	And we'll do a great deal, both in the present and the future, to make our warfighters even more effective than they are.
	I want to particularly highlight the Navy's efforts to move technologies like directed energy out of the labs and into killing people!
	Good on you, boys!
	The fields, I thank the Office of Naval Research and Admiral Colunder in particular for their time and attention and leadership in this area.
	Getting this game-changing technology in the hands of our nation's sailors to kill people will ultimately serve to realize the promise of this research investment.
	Which means dead people.
	Cheaply.
	Fry them!
	Fry them like cockroaches!
	There's more.
	There's more.
	Wait, there's more.
	There's more.
	There's more.
	I like him a lot.
	I love this.
	This is game-changing technology.
	You can fry people.
	It's really cool.
	And to ensure that the Department of Defense's R&D enterprise is properly organized and resourced, and that it has the authorities required to produce the most bang for the buck.
	Or the most fry for the friggle, for the frank, if you know what I'm talking about.
	I think it's the name of the guy.
	But they went on.
	The clip I didn't get is that they're going to give a bunch of these experimental laser directed energy devices to Israel.
	Well, of course.
	Because we haven't been able to get enough field testing.
	That's the way I see it.
	You haven't seen a circumcision unless it's with a directed energy weapon, John.
	So...
	I cracked myself up on that one.
	Yeah, you're cracking yourself up.
	I'm feeling much better, can you tell?
	Yeah, you're kind of punchy.
	So the demo, this mobile demo thing, which is in Arizona or New Mexico, it's a giant Humvee.
	You've seen these things.
	Yeah, and they put people, usually a couple reporters, in the field, and they point the microwave dish at them and they fry them.
	Well, this is a laser device, though.
	This is different.
	Oh.
	It looks very similar.
	Right.
	But it's a big giant laser that has like these gigawatt, not a gigawatt, but has lots of energy and it can heat up anything from a distance.
	Supposedly it can go up and heat up a missile coming in and turn it into a stone.
	No, there's videos, I've seen it on YouTube, from the companies that make this, I forget who did it.
	And they show frying a plane in the sky.
	So the plane is flying, it's a drone plane, I think it's an F, maybe an F-15, and it's flying by remote control, basically just a shell of a plane, but it's flying, and then they direct this thing at it, and it just fries!
	Yeah, well that's not what happens.
	At least not with the ones they have currently.
	They can heat them up and disable them.
	And the idea is that they're supposed to be targeting drones, literally drones.
	In other words, we get a bunch of people, which is going to happen.
	Who knows who, the Sinaloa cartel, for all we know, buy a bunch of drones, they'll be flying them around, and you can nail them with one of these devices and cook the thing, and then it just falls out of the sky.
	We know that the press is not going to have drones.
	Did you see that the collective press corps has been suing the U.S. government?
	Trying to get drones for...
	Yeah, that's a great idea, because those little drones that they want, which are not dangerous...
	But the FAA is not allowing it.
	I know, I know.
	They don't want this little thing.
	Taking photographs of mobs.
	No, no, no.
	That would be very bad, of course.
	That would be bad.
	Actually, I wanted to hook into that.
	Something that happened two weeks ago or a week and a half ago.
	All of the flight data systems at major airports stopped working.
	And the information that we have is very, very minor.
	We have almost nothing.
	You heard about this, right?
	No, I don't know anything about this.
	Yeah, they grounded all planes.
	Let me see, I have the report here.
	A computer glitch that caused air traffic chaos in western U.S. states last week, the Federal Aviation Administration has revealed.
	The meltdown occurred when software incorrectly thought a U-2 spy plane was on a collision course with other planes.
	I'm going to call bullshit on that.
	Well, there's something bullcrappy about it, because for one thing, the U-2 is at 60,000 feet, A. And B, why is a U-2 flying?
	I thought they were all taken out of service.
	Directed energy weapon, EMP, John.
	That was a test.
	Oh, that's an interesting, crazy theory.
	I'm not the only one thinking this.
	There's a couple other people who are...
	Did you think it originally, or did you read something?
	Yeah, no, that's the first thing I thought immediately.
	I'm like, oh, EMP. Directed energy weapon, EMP. There was...
	You watch.
	You're going to see more of these things happening.
	This is not like an EMP where you blow out everyone's, you know, all electricity.
	This is...
	Look!
	You just heard the appropriations!
	We have directed energy weapons!
	We have this.
	This is not, you know, and this is not, like, new.
	Well, that would explain why, you know, if the U-2 was flying, you'd get it up there, and then you'd have it weaponized to send something off, and then it would do whatever it does.
	It could be just very targeted.
	You don't know.
	And I don't believe it blew out software for a moment.
	I think it blew out some radar systems, which is what you'd want this EMP technology to do.
	Oh, I'm sorry, it looked like it was on a collision course, so the software froze?
	What, are they running it on a Commodore 64?
	Oh, let's get the cassette tape to reload the software, please.
	This is also saying that there's never been a collision, because it would crash it.
	Right, exactly.
	Oh, I'm sorry, the system crashed because someone was on a collision course.
	No, no, no.
	And where is the press, by the way, on this?
	This is an outrage that this answer is accepted.
	Oh, a computer glitch.
	Ever since Obamacare, healthcare.gov, you can just say glitch.
	Oh, it's a glitch.
	The glitch thing was gotten into the public domain, I think, before Obamacare.
	I use it on Mickey all the time.
	She says, you know, the next and previous links on my website, you know, it doesn't work.
	It's a glitch.
	It's a glitch.
	It's a good word.
	Anyway, so back to the, so these laser devices, they got one ship outfitted with them, and they're supposed to be able to take out incoming missiles and drones, if there are drones floating around, and they can do it quickly.
	But I have issues with this so-called mobile device, which is the ground-based thing that's on a truck.
	You have issues?
	What do you mean?
	Like, they might use it on people?
	In terms of...
	Why would you employ...
	I can see it being on a ship, because the likelihood of somebody taking over the ship and turning the weapon on us is unlikely.
	But you got one of these things on a truck, and you organized...
	I've seen enough movies.
	You organized some sort of...
	Quote of the day right there.
	I've seen enough movies.
	I know how this works.
	I can see how this works.
	You grab this thing and instead of shooting up, you just shoot the American soldiers left and right with this device, with this laser, and just chop them up right there.
	I just don't think this should be in the field, as it were.
	But this is not for the battlefield, John.
	What a mistake you make.
	This is for the protests.
	This is for the shittisonry.
	This is to keep the citizens at bay.
	We don't have to crank the thing up all the way.
	Look, we already have...
	To me, there's no difference between using a laser to fry people to keep them...
	Of course, they're not really going to fry them to a crisp.
	You could, but you heat someone up.
	But in Seattle, at the protests, they use audio weapons.
	That's just as harmful and offensive.
	It's just a different kind of wave.
	It's sound waves instead of microwaves.
	But it's a total crime against humanity to use that.
	And I was looking, as I was reading all this stuff, it is a crime against humanity.
	They described a device which will heat the outside of your...
	The device that heats the outside of your skin...
	To high temperatures and burn, you know, you get, ah, I can't take it!
	And you have to rush, run out.
	And they believe they don't like using, or they don't like using because they believe it might affect, you know, like boil your eyeball, is a millimeter wave device, which is the scanner used at the airport.
	Yeah, all they have to do is turn the meter up.
	Turn it up and then you just...
	Yeah, no one ever believes that when we say that this is the same technology.
	It's the exact same technology.
	I'll bet you L3 makes it.
	You know, next time you're in that thing, which of course most No Agenda listeners know, all you have to say is you can't raise your arms above your head.
	But if you do go through that thing and you grimace, or you like flip the bird, you just turn the dial up.
	Eh, no little switch.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Foot switch.
	Right, a foot switch.
	Ow, ow, ow, what?
	Whoa!
	My ass got hot!
	Yeah.
	Well, that's just lovely, John.
	And of course, this all got in just before the...
	Well, let's put it a different way.
	This is the American economy.
	So we're laughing about all these earmarks and these special amendments, but this is how the people who are employed stay employed, is because we're making this stuff and we sell it all over the world and we start some wars to make sure we have customers.
	This is what we do.
	Let's not kid each other.
	This is the United States economy.
	It's the big bucks.
	Yeah, this is where the real money is.
	And it's real money, and it's big.
	It's huge.
	I would have to leave and renounce my citizenship if I was truly against it.
	Yeah, no, I think people should consider that if they can't get with the program.
	But that doesn't mean we can't complain about certain things.
	Oh, yeah, no, no, we have to complain.
	Because the money could be, you know, you could still, it doesn't mean you have to just throw money away, which it sounds like to me that they do a lot of that.
	Well, I think the directed energy weapons is not money wasted.
	That's cool.
	Yeah, until it's aimed at you.
	I want one of those EMPs so I can selectively disable Teslas.
	Just driving down, like, just flip a button and the Tesla goes...
	It just dies on the spot.
	What happened?
	My Tesla!
	Anyway, before...
	Here's the gear I am, driving around Berkeley.
	Uh-oh.
	And so...
	We got a lot of Teslas in Austin, by the way.
	Oh, yeah.
	Anywhere there's a lot of high-tech business, there's going to be a lot of Teslas because it's the cool car to own.
	Even though the Bentley Continental is cooler, but that's another story.
	I'm driving, I'm coming out of this, some street over by Berkeley Bowl, and I'm going to take a left, but it's, you know, I'm on a stop sign, there's a lot of traffic, a lot of traffic.
	So finally, the traffic starts to let up, and then I see a guy on the crosswalk, and he's going to do the crosswalk thing, he's going to stop all traffic, which gives me an opportunity to make the left, because he's on the crosswalk on the right.
	And just as I'm going to pull out as this guy walks in, a Tesla comes up, and instead of stopping before the crosswalk to let me through, he just goes all the way up and blocks me.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, he just sits in by himself, because the other guy behind him is going, I don't know why he did that.
	And this guy's oblivious, and then the guy, and now I can't get out again, and now traffic's backing up behind the crosswalk, and so when the guy gets out of the crosswalk, there's another ton of traffic, I have to wait another five minutes.
	Thank you, Tesla.
	The guys who used to be the dicks in the Porsche are now in Teslas.
	In Teslas, yeah.
	It's alright, because they're continuously...
	They're all going to get cancer.
	And the reason why is they have worry.
	They're always worrying, because you have this battery management worry.
	I know you have it.
	I know that if you have...
	I drove...
	I tested three or four electric cars...
	And you get this white knuckle thing going on because the battery gauges are crap.
	It's like your laptop where it says, oh, I have eight more hours left, and then you look 20 minutes later, six hours.
	What?
	Or ten minutes.
	Yeah, as an example.
	Yeah, it's the...
	Well, I don't think it would be even that, but you're in an electrical field.
	Well, there's that.
	There must be Gauss, I mean, all over.
	I mean, you're in a...
	The whole car is, you know, is wired with all this high voltage, and you're in the middle of it.
	That can't be healthy.
	Ah, well.
	I guess we're just jealous.
	I wouldn't mind.
	Anyway, I, of course, as always, want to thank you for your courage, and I'd like to say, in the morning, to you, John C. Dvorak.
	Well, in the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	Also, in the morning to all the ships that see the boots on the ground, the feet in the air, the subs in the water, and all the dames and knights out there.
	And in the morning to everyone there in the chat room, noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net.
	Our artists, thank you very much, Melodious Owls.
	Brand new, I think, to the artist lineup, Melodious Owls.
	Sounds like a winery.
	And thank you for the artwork for episode 614.
	We're at 615 and can't wait to see what you guys come up with.
	I've seen the level improve since we've been talking a little bit more about how important the album art is for the overall product.
	Well, then we should mention that one of the art pieces, which was beautiful, which I should go look it up, that one that has the new version of our logo that he designed...
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And the vaccination needle on there.
	Yeah, that was very pretty.
	I mean, we were so close to wanting...
	We wanted to pick it because it was the best-looking art.
	Let's see who did that.
	It was just gorgeous, but it just wasn't thematic enough.
	I mean, the one we picked...
	Here's the problem.
	I will let you in on a little secret when we're choosing art.
	If we choose the title before we choose the art, then the art...
	For some unwritten rule, I don't know why we do this, but I don't know why we make this up, but for some unknown reason, let's say the title is Squirrels and Donkey Punch.
	I don't know where that came from.
	If someone did the artwork with a squirrel and a donkey, then we wouldn't choose it.
	The artist was S-C-E-A-F-A. No, we have...
	Well, actually, what we tend to...
	Let's be honest about it.
	We start by picking the art first.
	Not always, but, you know...
	Most of the time.
	Sometimes we look at the art, and then we get the title from the art.
	I mean, it's a process.
	Yeah, sometimes if the title is so good that we come up with a hilarious title, and then the art is about the title, we won't use that art.
	It's weird.
	Exactly, yeah.
	And I don't know why.
	Well, it's redundant, I think, is the reason.
	Now, there's the picture of Michelle Obama.
	Holding up the sign?
	Holding up the sign, which is already showing up in the art.
	Yeah, that's new.
	But what is the point of that?
	Does anybody really think holding up a sign with some stupid message on it is going to have any effect on anybody?
	Because Boko Haram is like on the web all day?
	I don't know.
	Anyway, it just bugs me.
	Anyway, go on with your thank yous.
	Well, thank you.
	Thank you.
	All right, thank you.
	No, no, thank you.
	This program is not...
	Oh, man.
	I read a piece, and it was...
	I think it was maybe in Vice or Forbes or one of these...
	one of these magazines that's just shit.
	And it was about people not donating to NPR and how you were low-life, cheap-ass scum.
	Ha!
	That was essentially the message.
	I thought it was a parody, but I don't know.
	Did you read this?
	Did you see this piece?
	Yeah, I read it.
	I can't remember where it was.
	But I'm looking at it, and I'm like, at what point does someone not notice, and I think people don't notice because they're so used to it, that NPR, National Public Radio, KUT here in Austin, KUT FM, KUT! KUT in Austin.
	Is a very successful local NPR affiliate.
	And they've got the ballet advertising, and the cheese shop, and the restaurants, and the latest events, and South By, and ACL, and the Zack Theater, and it just goes on and on and on.
	And then they have the national spots of Carbonite.
	These are advertisements.
	Just because someone says...
	To get it back, you gotta back it up.
	It presents this program.
	Doesn't mean that it's not an advertisement.
	Carbonite.com.
	It's an advertisement.
	And you will never hear a negative piece about that product on NPR. It corrupts the system.
	And by the way, NPR as a whole, not including what the individual stations have for budgets, gets $185 million a year to play with.
	Yeah, nice studios, by the way.
	I'm sitting here with one laptop and an external audio device.
	That's our studio.
	Woo!
	Sound just as good, though, ironically.
	That's the crazy part.
	So, the way we do it is, if you're new to the program, we have producers.
	Producers help us out with information, with research, with all kinds of, really, what producers do.
	Put the show together.
	Of course, we do our own work, but it is amply augmented by our producers in the field worldwide, many of whom are experts in their individual fields, which is another big plus.
	I'm not getting some NGO to tell us what's going on.
	And people who come in at a level of $200 or above for each episode are either an associate executive producer or $300 above an executive producer.
	You get your credit up front.
	We read, since we don't have, like Hollywood, you know, if you're an executive producer, you get to bang the actresses or actor, whichever one you want.
	So we don't have any goodies.
	No hookers, no blow.
	But we'll read your note.
	Yeah, which is, I don't know, might be as good.
	It seems very fulfilling to a lot of people, and we appreciate it.
	And the fact that you are providing value for us to give you the value of our analysis, which I'm pretty sure, prove me wrong, you can't get anywhere else.
	Certainly not five, six hours a week.
	No.
	No, that's a known fact.
	So let's thank a few of these guys, including apparently a regular weekly donor now, or every show he's going to make.
	He's decided to become a Grand Duke up there with the Baron Pelsmockers, and so he's going to be continuing this quest.
	And he came in with $655.14, Sir David Foley, the Archduke of Silicon Valley in most of California, apparently.
	ITM John and Adam find an enhanced Sanco de Mayo donation.
	Sanco de Mayo!
	Plus 5 equals...
	Minus 5 equals...
	Wait a minute.
	What's his calculation here?
	I have no idea.
	3 plus 3 plus...
	615 club.
	I don't know what he's doing.
	By 10 bucks, by the way.
	The way he's doing this.
	But that's okay.
	He's a 615 club member and somehow there's a Senko de Mayo thing in there.
	So at this moment he is still an Archduke.
	Yes, he's got...
	You have to be 30x knight to become a Grand Duke.
	So think about it.
	That takes a lot of time.
	If I had a kid in college, he would be putting my kid through college.
	And he hopes you feel better soon, and apparently his karma to you has paid off already.
	I feel so much better.
	Thank you very much for asking.
	Although now Emma, our little rent-a-kid, our niece...
	Now, she's got the cough and the sniffles.
	She picked it up from me, of course.
	Are you sure this isn't some virus or something as opposed to allergies?
	Well, no, I didn't say it was just allergies.
	The allergies, and I got the virus on top of that, if you'll recall.
	Now, the sad thing is, Emma's leaving tomorrow.
	Oh, she's going to leave sick and bring it with her.
	And I just taught her how to make the perfect scotch and soda.
	It's scotch and soda.
	Yeah.
	The perfect scotch and soda is usually made with a good scotch.
	Yes, but you've got to have the right proportion and the cubes.
	Let's face it, when I say get me a scotch and soda and it appears, that's the perfect scotch and soda.
	There you go.
	That is the perfect scotch and soda.
	Anyway, so we want to thank Sir David.
	He also sells 4K TVs if anyone's interested at 4kspecial.com.
	And I think if you enter the code NA, you get a $50 discount.
	Yeah, it saves some money.
	Matthew Steinmetz in Lancaster, California came with $509.
	I genuinely love you guys and hope you'd never stop podcasting.
	I'm donating $509 in honor of my birthday.
	Please add me to the birthday list.
	We did that.
	This donation will make me a dame today.
	Matthew?
	She never gave us her first name, although it might be Kit, because she wants to be Dame Kit.
	Of course, Eric put a big question mark next to this.
	But she's coming in on his account, apparently.
	So maybe it's Kit?
	It could be Kit Steinmetz.
	I mean, maybe.
	But we don't know.
	She wasn't explanatory.
	Unless Matthew wants to be a Damon.
	Knowing our audience, typically we haven't seen too much of that.
	Anyway, she will be Dame Kit, and she's on the list.
	And she would like a Jobs, Jobs, Jobs follower by Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi.
	Do we have that?
	You know, I had it.
	This is weird.
	I had it.
	What happened to it?
	I think a good one would be, what difference does it make?
	No, no, no, no, no.
	I had Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi, but then somehow it didn't show up here.
	Unless she wants an LGY. Well, I can do that.
	Let me do that while I look for the Benghazi Benghazi, because I know I have it somewhere.
	There's no doubt.
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	You've got karma.
	That's the weirdest thing.
	Maybe I didn't...
	Well, that's actually...
	It's not just a weird thing.
	That's actually horrific.
	Why?
	Because I clipped it specifically.
	To have that as a jingle, and now...
	Hold on a second.
	Let me put it in.
	Okay, I'll be able to play it in just a moment.
	Oh, did you have to move it?
	Yeah, well, the thing is I've got to move it across systems.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, while you're doing that, we will play for Dame Kit.
	We'll play that after we go on onward.
	Oh, here it is.
	Oh, okay.
	Here it is.
	Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi.
	There we go.
	Sorry about that.
	Karma.
	Give her the karma.
	Just give her the karma.
	Yeah, give her the karma.
	You don't need it.
	Okay.
	Dennis Nutting.
	Nothing but net.
	Net333.33.
	Huh?
	Hey, and you have a note?
	He has a note.
	He really had nothing to say.
	Oh, boy.
	Hello again, John and Adam.
	Here goes my next installment.
	Sir Dennis, by the way.
	I'm sorry.
	I didn't say Sir.
	Sir Dennis.
	I ask for nothing.
	Just keep on producing the greatest podcast in the universe.
	Thanks for the great ring.
	He just got his ring and is in Hilo, Hawaii, which has got to be a great place.
	I always wonder, maybe Nutting can send a note and tell me if they...
	I was in Hilo once, years ago, like 20 years ago, and they still had the old airport there.
	And it was gorgeous.
	It was kind of like Long Beach.
	Oh, yeah.
	Whereas everything's outside, so the baggage is outside.
	That's nice.
	Which is a little bit like Burbank.
	Yeah, Burbank's a little bit like Hilo.
	I agree, Burbank's very similar.
	Alright, onward.
	Stewie on Instagram.
	Doncaster, Victoria, Australia, 333.
	$333.
	Is it Stewie6 on Instagram, I think?
	Is it Stewie6?
	That's what I got on the spreadsheet, yeah.
	Okay, Stewie6.
	Keen supporter and doctor from Gitmo Nation Down Under.
	Request of John will be in San Francisco 27th June and need some top and fine dining advice.
	Mainly interested in the wine list.
	Where should we book in?
	I'll give you a couple.
	I'll send you a couple.
	Yeah, and then he'll be driving from L.A. all the way to Albuquerque.
	Don't go to Albuquerque, unless you want to get killed.
	Yeah, they've gone berserk.
	Yeah, there is a producer in Albuquerque, Jeffrey Tuhigg.
	A couple of original Knights and Dames.
	Yeah, we do.
	I don't think they listen to the show anymore.
	Oh, yes, they do.
	Oh, okay.
	Oh, yes, they do.
	Sir Sean Connolly in Naperville, Illinois, $300.90.
	This contribution of $300.9 is the lucky number three times what Adam's temperature was when he was playing Hurt.
	I was playing Hurt.
	You were playing Hurt.
	I still have the cough, by the way, but it's loose now and it's just...
	Somebody please buy him a cough button.
	I would like to encourage all of the boners to step up and get on this subscription program.
	The $30 a month level is only $1.50 an hour for the best podcast in the universe.
	With this donation...
	Oh, I should do this, by the way.
	He says, $1.50 an hour for the best podcast in the universe.
	What was that?
	What was that?
	Did you talk into the trash bin?
	No, I've got a, this is a, one of those tubes that you can buy scotch in.
	Speaking of scotch, actually it came with a green spot Irish whiskey.
	Oh wait, I mean, I can, okay, oh no, that one doesn't work.
	This works better!
	Oh, yeah.
	This one works even better than that one.
	Yeah, that's a bullhorn.
	With this donation, I should now be titled Viscount.
	All right!
	Viscount!
	And claim the protectorate of Federal Reserve District 7.
	Oh, okay.
	Okay.
	All righty.
	Who's Northern Illinois, Indiana, Southern Wisconsin, Iowa, and Lower Michigan.
	That's a lot of turf to take care of.
	I plan to exploit my new territory to the fullest.
	Please keep up the great work.
	Sir Sean of Naperville.
	Thank you, Sean.
	Armand Martinez, 20666.
	I can't find a note from you, Armando.
	Armando, not Armando.
	Armando Martinez.
	Anonymous, 20666.
	I do have a note, actually.
	Is that the anonymous lesbian?
	No, no.
	The anonymous lesbian checks in about once a month, it seems.
	Okay, here it is.
	Please read this and say it's anonymous.
	Lincoln freed the slaves!
	The first black president enslaves the nation.
	Thanks.
	We now return you to the seed, ma'am.
	By the way, that guy is now selling boner pills.
	Oh no.
	Yeah, he's selling...
	Because you listen to that guy long enough and you get a limp dick.
	You need these pills.
	In the morning!
	John Grumling, $200 in Battlement Mesa, Colorado.
	Adam and John, it's not your fault donations are down.
	The news sucks these days.
	We all know when the news isn't exciting, donations drop.
	This is true, by the way.
	Let's hope things pick up for May Sweep.
	It's Sweep Week!
	Sir Brent Mahoney in North...
	Another thing we don't have to deal with, thank goodness.
	Oh, God.
	Sweep, sweep.
	It's sweep.
	Can you guys punch it up a little bit?
	It sweeps.
	Yeah.
	We need the ratings.
	We need a good report.
	Our quarter hours can be up more.
	It's actually ludicrous if you think about it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yes.
	Well, I don't think, you know, they keep a running average.
	The sweep sweep where they try to boost their ratings so their card can have bigger numbers.
	That's a rate card.
	Rate card is nonsense.
	Sir Brent Mahoney, $200, North Quincy, Massachusetts.
	Title, Sir Brent Mahoney birthday coming up May 13th and wishing myself a happy birthday because fuck it, none of my boner friends listen to the podcast.
	Commentary, Adam, quit coughing into the mic.
	It's getting me sick.
	And I just recovered from the same stuff you have.
	Yeah, feel better before the government force feeds you vaccines.
	Speaking of vaccines, I had a smallpox vaccination when I was deployed.
	Only thing it did for me is make my blood more valuable to the Red Cross.
	This is an interesting point.
	A call just went out for veterans who have had the anthrax vaccine to donate their blood to The Red Cross, who of course, the Red Cross sells your blood, by the way.
	That's one of their main revenue sources.
	They take your blood, they're vampires, they sell it.
	They want the plasma with the anthrax vaccine to create a more resilient nation.
	I just got this note this morning.
	Yeah, no, I know.
	That's creepy.
	Yeah, totally.
	John, get angrier.
	You're funny as hell when you get angry.
	Now it's just Adam ranting and raving.
	I'm stuck with the kittens.
	I'm still somewhat broke.
	I can't handle the guilt.
	Now I'm off to get drunk.
	Good work.
	And then finally, Mark Milliman, who is in Longmont, Colorado, and he sends a donation by mail via a bank for $200, and he does this commonly.
	And he has no note, and he doesn't apparently care.
	He sends us notes when he feels like it.
	That'll be our donors, or sorry, executive producers, associate executive producers for show...
	6.15.
	I want to remind people to go to Dvorak.org slash NA. Channel Dvorak.com slash NA NoAgendaNation or NoAgendaShow.com and there's a donate button you can click on to continue supporting us for the next show which will be 6.16 on Sunday.
	Yes, and that'll be one day before we take off on our Hot Pockets Wasabi Tour.
	Monday, we're off to Tokyo.
	Tokyo.
	Tokyo, yes.
	It's going to be very interesting.
	We're there for 10 days, so we'll be back around the 23rd, I think.
	Because I'll be in Michigan for one of those events.
	Oh man, really?
	Just to make it even more crazy?
	Michigan.
	Oh, that'll be nuts.
	Yeah.
	Michigan is what time zone?
	Central.
	Because I would like to do the show an hour earlier.
	Maybe Eastern.
	Oh, that would be great, actually, for you.
	For both of us, would you mind doing the show an hour earlier on next Thursday?
	Are you in Michigan next Thursday?
	No, no, no.
	I'm in Michigan.
	I have to look on the calendar.
	That way I could start the show at midnight instead of 1 in the morning.
	It would just give me that extra hour.
	You want me to get up at five in the morning, in other words?
	Yeah.
	So you can...
	Not...
	By the way, my...
	Not go to bed at five in the morning.
	...is not to drink and party that night, since you're going to be doing the show late.
	Oh.
	This is funny, because you know that...
	Oh.
	You know, Mark and Astrid will try to get you plastered.
	Well, no, but they don't...
	No, so we arrive...
	No, no.
	Mickey's show is on Thursday evening.
	That's the opening of her show in Tokyo.
	That's next week.
	Yes.
	Next Thursday.
	Next Thursday.
	A week from today.
	At Super Duper New.
	I forget what it's called.
	Super New.
	She's going to hate me now.
	I'll put it in the show notes.
	Super Duper New.
	It's one of those crazy Japanese names.
	Hi, Super Duper New.
	I'm excited.
	I'm ready to go.
	Hi, hi.
	Now, you would have gotten a memo from the suits if the show wasn't listener-supported.
	The Japanese investors called.
	They're a little upset.
	So we had the opening of the show, but then around, you know, so maybe 10.
	What day are you leaving on?
	Tuesday?
	Monday.
	So this show Sunday's fine.
	So Monday you leave.
	Which means we actually arrive...
	You arrive Wednesday.
	Wednesday.
	Yeah.
	I think, yeah.
	We arrive Wednesday.
	Which, by the way, is going to be Tuesday, so the show, our show, is going to be on Friday for you.
	Stop confusing me.
	Yes, but this is my point.
	So we arrive Wednesday, then Mickey has her opening the show on Thursday...
	Just Wednesday here.
	Shut up!
	It's confusing me.
	It's Wednesday from two weeks back.
	Yes.
	And then Thursday night, then after the opening of the show, I go back to the apartment, which Dame Astrid, Viscountess, has kindly offered us her pied-à-terre.
	And then I finish up prep, which of course I will have been doing all day Thursday.
	Then I do the show, hopefully at midnight.
	From midnight to...
	Friday.
	Yeah, Friday midnight.
	So Thursday night, Friday until...
	Well, so the show itself will go until like...
	You know, we'll be done by 3.
	We'll have to do the post-production.
	So I won't really be in bed until 4.30.
	Then, that Friday night, which would be Thursday for you, Sir Mark is throwing a party for both of us.
	The 50-50 party.
	With all these crazy acts and all superstars are showing up and they've rented a space and it's like a big party.
	So, come Saturday, when Mickey has us scheduled to go to the Love Hotel...
	I'll be walking on my eyebrows.
	I have no idea.
	We're going to have to figure this out.
	Anyway.
	You confused me.
	Yes.
	It sounds like a nightmare.
	Yeah, I got you.
	Hey, what we do need you to do, besides supporting us financially, is go out there and propagate our formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Water. Order.
	Shut up, slave.
	Shut up, Slade!
	Righto.
	Well, we got big, big, big, big news.
	Okay.
	Big news.
	Big news out of the White House.
	We got an email, and with the email came a video.
	And with the video came an 800-page report.
	That came a summary of 300 pages.
	And we got new terms.
	Totally new terms.
	New ways of looking at it.
	We need new terms.
	Yes, we have new terms.
	And the new term is disruption.
	Right, yeah.
	I know, which is a high-tech term.
	Yes.
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm in disruptive technology.
	Yeah, we're disruptive.
	I intermediate disruptive technology.
	So the White House had all the weathermen from around the country, including Al Roker, I came to get their talking points because of course these are the guys who really sell the weather and climate change to you.
	But it's no longer climate change, it's climate disruption.
	And the title of the report is Climate Change Impacts in the United States.
	But first let me play the video.
	This video, obviously, is filled with...
	You can just close your eyes and here's what you imagine.
	Fire.
	Brimstone.
	Floods.
	Drowning babies.
	And John P. Holdren.
	I'm John Holdren, President Obama's science advisor, here to talk about the third U.S. national climate assessment that was released today.
	This assessment is the most comprehensive and authoritative account ever about how climate has been changing in the United States, how it's projected to continue to change in the future, and what can be done by public officials, planners, businesses, and individuals to reduce its impacts.
	The online report provides unprecedented detail on every geographic region of the United States and all of the most affected sectors of the national economy.
	And the contents confirm that climate change is not a distant threat.
	It is affecting the American people already.
	On the whole, summers are longer and hotter.
	Stop, stop, stop, stop.
	I'm going to try to guess what he's going to talk about next because it has, the climate, or actually more or less the weather, has affected American economy in particular because all the earnings reports in the last quarter...
	It reflected the extreme cold temperatures.
	And with rare exceptions, we talk about this on the DH Unplugged show, with rare exceptions, most people came in with crappy earnings and they blamed it on the crappy cold weather.
	And so that's what he's going to bring up, I'm sure of it.
	Well, I will disrupt your little intermezzo with a little clippage from Janet Yellen, who is Ben Bernanke with his cooch.
	Where did that come from?
	That was unacceptable, mister.
	I agree.
	That was just no good.
	Here she is.
	Although real GDP growth is currently estimated to have paused in the first quarter of this year, I see that pause is mostly reflecting transitory factors.
	Including the effects of the unusually cold and snowy winter weather.
	With the harsh winter behind us, many recent indicators suggest that a rebound in spending and production is already underway.
	Alright, so no worries.
	I hate to just go aside just a little bit, but did you see her roaming around at the correspondence there?
	Oh yeah, of course I did.
	Danny DeVito would tower over her.
	Yeah, she is a tiny little package, ain't she?
	Anyway, go on.
	Yeah.
	There it is.
	And, of course, this is when you have nothing left to blame it on.
	We've blamed everything on Bush now for five years.
	What do we do now?
	I don't know.
	Blame it on the weather.
	A good idea.
	Yeah.
	Here we go.
	Climate change is not a distant threat.
	It is affecting the American people already.
	On the whole, summers are longer and hotter, with longer periods...
	On the whole.
	On the whole.
	So, I don't know where the whole is.
	On the whole.
	But if you're on the whole...
	That, by the way, is a very scientific term.
	Oh yeah, no, the guy said outstanding practitioner of this art of science.
	On the whole, I don't cheat on my taxes.
	On the whole, summers are longer and hotter, with longer periods of extended heat.
	Wildfires start earlier in the spring and continue later into the fall.
	They start earlier in the spring and continue longer into the fall.
	This is total, this is unsubstantiated crap.
	Rain comes down in heavier downpours.
	It's much heavier.
	We're in a drought here.
	15 kilos of rain.
	People are experiencing changes in the length and severity of seasonal allergies.
	Ah, now that one caught my eye.
	Yeah, I thought you'd get stopped by that one.
	And I'm going to come back to that after we play the rest of this promo video.
	This promo reel.
	And climate disruptions to water resources and agriculture have been increasing.
	Across the country, regions are experiencing climate change in different ways.
	For instance, communities in the Northeast are affected by heat waves, more extreme precipitation events, and coastal flooding due to sea level rise and storm surge.
	In the Great Plains, rising temperatures lead to increased demand for water and energy and impacts on agricultural practices.
	Drought and increased warming in the Southwest foster wildfires and increased competition for scarce water resources.
	What is foster?
	When you say foster...
	It fosters wildfires.
	What does that even mean?
	It means encourages.
	Go ahead!
	Go ahead, burn!
	For people and for ecosystems, scientists who study climate change confirm that these phenomena are consistent with the ongoing changes in global climate.
	Confirm!
	Which we know with very high confidence.
	Very high confidence!
	They took a vote.
	If your spouse or your girlfriend or boyfriend says, do you love me?
	You say, I love you with very high confidence.
	See how that works out.
	...are being caused mainly by the increase of atmospheric carbon dioxide and other heat-trapping gases released by human activities.
	When President Obama launched his Climate Action Plan in June 2013, he made clear That the information in this new national climate assessment would be used to inform efforts at the federal, state, and local levels to increase preparedness for and resilience against the impacts of changes in climate that can no longer be avoided.
	And by the way, listen to the music track.
	A little clave action, a little bit of oriental, but still a little bit of an urgency.
	Toodaloo, loom, loom, loom.
	This is very important.
	I urge you to explore the assessment and to get informed about the climate change impacts underway in the regions where you live by visiting whitehouse.gov slash climate change.
	I'm John Holden, and I approve this message.
	And why are they playing a music track anyway?
	Well, because this is a produced package meant to influence you.
	Hello?
	Now, this report, of course, you know me, like 800 pages.
	I do that before I get up.
	I read through it.
	I don't think I can do a much better job at debunking a lot of it as the Cato Institute did, actually.
	And they also produced a report, which page by page goes through the unsubstantiated, unscientific claims made in this.
	Lots of pretty pictures, I'll be the first to admit.
	It's a nice-looking report.
	And it was produced by an advisory committee...
	Chartered on the Federal Advisory Committee Act.
	And here's something I didn't know.
	For the Subcommittee on Global Change Research.
	And I didn't know that there was something called the Global Change Act.
	The Global Change Research Act.
	And it stems from 1990.
	And this is where all of this comes from.
	And when you go back, and of course I put this in the show notes, the Global Change Research Act is incorporated in the United States Code.
	It is an act to require the establishment of a United States global change research program aimed at understanding and responding to global change, including the cumulative effects of human activities and natural processes on the environment, to promote discussion towards internal protocols in global change to promote discussion towards internal protocols in global change research and for other purposes.
	And it does specifically mention, such human-induced changes in conjunction with natural fluctuations may lead to significant global warming and thus alter world climate patterns and increase global sea levels.
	1990!
	90.
	So this is a long game.
	Long game they set up here.
	Very, very, very smart the way that's done.
	Yeah, the problem that they had with this long game, which actually began previous to that, because there are 1988 references to global warming, is that right from the get-go, they expected, I think, a different response from the public.
	Because right from the get-go, there's documentation showing that in 1988, they said, we've got 20 years, and then it's too late.
	Right.
	And they kept doing that.
	Oh, we've got to do it now or it's going to be too late.
	Now, Al Gore said that the polar ice caps would be done by 2014.
	I don't even play that clip anymore.
	It's hilarious.
	Yeah, well...
	Excuse me.
	This hasn't been getting traction the way they want, except with the people that are just true believers.
	Just a couple other things from this report.
	There comes a letter.
	A couple other things here.
	So there's all these observed warming and climatic changes, and what I found interesting, some of these changes can be beneficial over the short run, such as a longer growing season in some regions, and longer shipping season on the Great Lakes.
	Uh...
	No.
	Exactly the opposite.
	They're still frozen.
	This is totally not true.
	It's wishful thinking.
	Yeah.
	So this National Climate Assessment collects, integrates, and assesses observation and research from around the country, helping us to see what is actually happening and understanding what it means for our lives, our livelihood, and our future.
	And then there's a couple of things about the report.
	When it's considered scientific, justified to report the likelihood of particular impacts within the range of possible outcomes, this report takes a plain language approach to expressing the expert judgment of the author team based on the best available evidence.
	So this is this whole very likely thing.
	For example, an outcome termed likely has at least two-thirds chance of occurring.
	An outcome termed very likely has more than a 90% chance.
	I don't know why they just say 60% or 90%.
	It's all academic anyway.
	This is like you're in Reno or something, Las Vegas.
	We're betting on it.
	What's the chance of this team winning?
	So here's the report findings, just an overview.
	Global climate is changing.
	This is apparent across the United States in a range of observations.
	The global warming of the past 50 years is primarily due to human activities.
	Predominantly the burning of fossil fuels.
	A lot of facts in here.
	And the people who wrote this, your names are on it.
	One day, one day, we'll see which side of history you were on.
	Well, who's condemned the guys that were on the list for the global cooling?
	Yeah.
	I mean, nobody's ever...
	It's the same people.
	Well, a lot of them are the same people.
	It's some of the same people.
	And nobody dredges their names up or ridicules them in public, or they just, you know, they still go give their speeches and everybody laps it up, the people that go see the speech.
	So, I was very interested in the allergy thing.
	This was new to me, and as you know, I have severe allergies.
	You do.
	Since I've lived here.
	Now, I will point out that Texas is right in the path of the jet stream.
	And, although I can't find any real documentation to back this up.
	I've never heard this.
	Well, you know the jet stream goes across Texas, don't you?
	No.
	I thought the jet stream stayed up north of the...
	Oh, no.
	It makes this huge dip.
	If you just do map...
	Does it always make a huge dip?
	Yeah, I think so.
	You know, one time I was caught in the jet stream...
	I did a little aside again.
	Today is a side day for me.
	It's a side dish.
	I get on a plane to fly to New York, and I figure I'll get an early flight because I'll get in there about nine.
	It's going to take usually about five hours to fly to New York from here.
	We caught the jet stream the whole way.
	I got into New York three and a half hours.
	Seriously.
	And the airport was closed.
	It was like, you know, four in the morning or so.
	It was ridiculous.
	Anyway.
	So the jet stream, of course, it does move.
	But I think probably what I see correlation between when the jet stream is right over Texas and we could not be more central than central Texas.
	And I think we're just getting all this crud Along with, you know, crazy trees that...
	Well, it shakes the crud out of the...
	I don't think you're getting any crud from the jet stream.
	I don't know.
	It's just an observation.
	However, I'm still interested, how does climate change and global warming and CO2... Contribute to allergies.
	Yes, I want to know.
	And I found the answer.
	It's in the book.
	No, I found the answer on USA Today, who extrapolated the answer from the National Assessment of Climate Change Impact.
	Do you have any idea?
	Well, the CO2 would make the trees happy and they would drop their pollen.
	That could be one.
	Rising carbon dioxide may be driving you right to your doctor's office.
	I'm Shannon Rae Green for USA Today's Weathering the Change.
	Here's one way climate change could affect your health.
	Carbon dioxide, or CO2, is a heat-trapping greenhouse gas that's emitted when burning fossil fuels.
	It's really evil.
	Such as gasoline from your car.
	It also comes out of your pie hole when you exhale.
	The added CO2 in the atmosphere stimulates plant growth, and bigger plants in turn produce more pollen.
	There you go!
	I was right.
	Yes, because of the evil, evil CO2, which makes plants grow and thrive.
	They're really happy with all the CO2, and plants in turn create, uh, what is that again?
	That stuff that...
	That crazy...
	Yeah, and oxygen?
	Mmm.
	They do that.
	Yes, they do.
	They actually clean the air.
	That's why people have plants in their house.
	Yes!
	But this is the crazy thing.
	This evil, evil greenhouse gas that is killing our Earth, which makes the trees very happy...
	It makes them grow bigger.
	This is a real bad narrative for them.
	Yeah, they never should have put it in here.
	No.
	But don't worry, because we have Gina McCarthy of the Environmental Protection Agency...
	Out on the path, of course, she's a climatologist.
	Oh, I'm sorry, she's not.
	But it doesn't matter.
	She's not?
	No, she's not.
	I thought she would be, because only climatologists are allowed to talk about this.
	Yeah, like Tom Friedman.
	People like that are allowed to talk about this.
	Yeah, well, he's a climatologist.
	Yeah, climatologist for the New York Times.
	She went on there with Ben Bernanke's...
	No, not Ben.
	I always say it wrong.
	Greenspan's squeeze, Andrea Mitchell.
	Oh, yeah.
	Because, you know, she's a reporter, unbiased, and had a little chat about just, I mean, just the facts.
	I don't want to gross you out, but, you know, does you ever even think?
	No, no, don't even do that.
	Okay.
	This is, that is, oh, I threw up in my mouth.
	What?
	What steps should we be taking?
	I'm joined by the nation's administrator for the Environmental Protection Agency, Gina McCarthy.
	Very good to have you with us.
	First of all, the key points of this report, as far as you're concerned, as far as science is concerned, they're not disputable, correct?
	That's correct.
	This is a clear indication that...
	Shut up already!
	Science!
	We're already today facing the impacts from climate.
	It's not just about future projections anymore.
	No!
	You lost all those earnings because of the cold weather.
	Science!
	Let's imagine for a moment that...
	Alright, hold on.
	Everybody, let's hold hands.
	Close your eyes.
	Let's hold hands.
	Let's close our eyes.
	Not just about future projections.
	Alright, ready?
	You ready?
	Let's imagine for a moment that there's a baby being born right now.
	Okay, hold on.
	Do you have the visual of the baby being born?
	Yeah, the babies being born.
	There are, you know, babies being born all over this country.
	Oh, why?
	Well, now we have to envision a bunch of babies?
	Yeah, all over the country.
	Just lay it on the ground.
	Oh, there's another baby on the ground.
	What future does this child face if nothing is done?
	What is the water level?
	What is going to happen to our coasts?
	What will the temperature changes?
	This kid's going to drown and then fry and won't be able to breathe.
	Well, we know from this assessment that there's impacts in every region.
	We know the dangers of climate change.
	We see rising sea levels.
	We see rising temperatures that's going to result in more ozone.
	And that means more asthma attacks for our kids moving forward.
	Ah, asthma!
	Okay, so the ozone thing is...
	Finish your thing, and I want to talk about ozone for a minute.
	The kid's going to have nothing but asthma.
	Ozone is the meme, the new meme.
	I don't know if you've caught it, but I did.
	The new meme is ozone.
	And ozone is going to be the new enemy.
	It's going to be ozone this and ozone that.
	And they're bringing it up.
	I was listening to NPR. I said, what would Mickey be listening to right now?
	And I turned it on.
	Do you really consider this during your day?
	Yeah.
	I think, you know, things like that.
	What would Mickey be doing?
	I'm a big fan of hers.
	And so I put on NPR, and I listened to this long spiel about ozone, and they were going on and on about it, and they had her assistant, this EPA woman, second in charge, going on about ozone, and how, you know, it was caused by carbon dioxide somehow, and climate change is creating all this ozone and stuff.
	It's bad for you, and it's...
	Dangerous to diabetics.
	Diabetics?
	That's what I said.
	Cool.
	How is it dangerous to diabetics?
	And they said, well, they have a compromised immune system and ozone is an oxidant.
	And so anyway, you'll be hearing about ozone more and more and they're sneaking it in and they're going to use it as the new boogeyman.
	What?
	Well, that is partially true, because I know how we can fix climate change in America very, very easily.
	Tell us.
	Please.
	Are you sure you're ready for this?
	I'm very ready.
	Because I was tipped off by Harry Reid.
	The report that I'm referring to here concluded there are disastrous, disastrous climate changes taking place on our Earth due to human activity.
	While the Koch brothers admit to not being experts on the matter, These billionaire oil tycoons are certainly experts at contributing to climate change.
	That's what they do very well.
	They are one of the main causes of this.
	Not a cause, one of the main causes.
	The Koch brothers are one of the main causes of climate change.
	Koch brothers!
	I say drone the Koch brothers.
	That's going to have to happen.
	Drone the Koch brothers.
	To save their earth.
	To save our children from asthma.
	What a moron.
	What a total, dweeby, doofus moron.
	Anyway, there is something nice happening.
	You know, by the way, let's make a political commentary here, which is that this guy who just mentions the Koch brothers incessantly is only doing it because the Koch brothers supported the woman that was running against him and trying to get him out.
	And he has a permanent grudge and he is never going to stop bitching about the Koch brothers.
	Typical.
	Typical.
	There is the 9th International Conference on Climate Change coming up in July 7th to 9th in Las Vegas, Nevada.
	This is from the Heartland Institute and it's in the show notes.
	I picked all this up from our Weather Channel guy.
	John Coleman, the co-founder of the Weather Channel, who, of course, has a very nice commentary on this report.
	He calls it the 600-page litany of doom.
	A total distortion of the data and agenda-driven destructive episode of bad science gone berserk.
	And he will be speaking along with a number of very interesting scientists at the 9th International Conference on Climate Change in Vegas.
	And it's nice to see at least something is happening with a, you know, so I guess these are the 2%.
	And they get shouted down!
	Yeah, well this is only about people debunking all this bullcrap.
	Oh, it is.
	It's a debunking conference.
	So here's the, let's see...
	Heartland Institute.
	Yeah.
	Let me look it up.
	Executive Vice President for the Center of Defense of Free Enterprise, former climatology professor at the University of Winnipeg, co-chief forecaster, Weather Bell Analytics, Cornwall Alliance for...
	Well, that's creationism, of course.
	You've got to have some creation guys there.
	Professor of Architecture, Endowed Professor of Space Architecture, University of Houston, Emeritus Reader in the Department of Geography, University of Hull, Marine Geologist, Environmental Scientist, Member of Australian Parliament, George Christensen.
	He's funny.
	There's a number of scientists, a number of people with an agenda, retired NASA scientists, physicians, Professor Emeritus Geology.
	There's a lot of good speakers at this thing.
	And, you know, they'll get no play.
	No, the guys that will get play will be the creationists.
	Yeah, of course.
	It'll be, oh, crazy creationists!
	You think the world is 2,000 years old, you moron!
	6,000.
	Let's get that straight.
	I'm sorry.
	I didn't mean to shortchange everybody.
	Huh.
	Which is not universal amongst Christians.
	No, no.
	That's actually an American...
	I think it was developed by some of the evangelicals in the United States.
	I don't...
	You know, I was raised a Catholic.
	I never heard this.
	Did I tell you the other day the doorbell rang?
	And...
	Oh, I should have...
	It's in the other room and Mickey's not here.
	There were two guys dressed in suits...
	And the guy hands me, he says, oh, you know, do you know about DNA and what, you know, with the chemtrails?
	And I'm like, yeah.
	And I'm like, wow, the Alex Jones guy's cleaned up nice.
	He's got suits and ties on.
	And he hands me this pamphlet, and it's, you know, it's about your DNA being wrecked by GMOs.
	And I'm like, okay, this is, I'm, and then I say, and I said, okay.
	And then he just looked at me.
	I'm like, well, are you selling me something?
	No, we just wanted you to know if you were aware and you were interested in readings.
	Yeah, but this is from December.
	Give me one from April.
	The Jehovah's Witnesses.
	Oh, those guys.
	But they were really nice.
	But I just went, yeah, I totally agree.
	I'm all in on this.
	Screw those GMO guys.
	Chemtrails suck.
	Hey, thanks, guys.
	And they were like, what?
	I guess they were expecting to get the door slammed in their face or something, but they had a...
	They're going to start showing up a lot now.
	This is the problem.
	Well, you're awakened, sir.
	Yeah, I am.
	Awakened.
	You should join our church.
	Well, I don't know about that.
	You're going to be hounded.
	I don't know about that.
	Um...
	My thing when anyone comes to the door is usually...
	It depends.
	I have different approaches.
	But I've got a conference call.
	I didn't need to.
	I wasn't busy.
	They were saying, I'll talk to anybody.
	I'm interested.
	People are interesting to me.
	I like that.
	Is that so wrong?
	By the way, there is one thing that I'm a little worried about.
	Just to wrap up this...
	The Agenda 21 climate crap.
	There's one thing I'm a little worried about, and let's see if this crops up as a meme.
	East Antarctica's Wilkes Basin.
	This is a story that is getting a little bit of play.
	The melting of rather small ice volume on East Antarctica's shore could trigger a persistent ice discharge into the ocean, resulting in unstoppable sea level rise for thousands of years to come.
	This is now shown in a study published in Nature Climate Change by scientists from the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research.
	The findings are based on computer simulations of the Antarctic ice flow using improved data of the ground profile.
	New numbers.
	But here's the problem.
	So, quote, East Antarctica's Wilkes Basin is like a bottle on a slant, says lead author Matthias Mengel.
	Once uncorked, it empties out.
	The basin is the largest region of marine ice on rocky ground in East Antarctica.
	Currently, a rim of ice at the coast holds the ice behind in place, like a cork holding back the content of a bottle.
	While the air over Antarctica remains cold, warming oceans can cause ice loss on the coast.
	Ice melting would make this relatively small cork disappear.
	Once lost, this would trigger a long-term sea level rise of 300 to 400 centimeters.
	Now, why does this worry me?
	This is...
	Crichton's book.
	What does Crichton say?
	In Crichton's book, which was the fear...
	What was it called?
	State of Fear.
	State of Fear.
	The crazy environmentalists, to prove that the global warming is happening, they want to go dynamite...
	Some icebergs at the Antarctic to cause this big change.
	Yeah, this is interesting because most of the evidence shows that Antarctica is...
	the ice is expanding.
	I mean, you'll find this...
	No, I understand.
	But if what they say is true about this bottle in the cork...
	Right.
	It would be like...
	It would be very simple to go, you know, discharge one of your directed energy weapons.
	You think you can only melt humans with that?
	Ha ha ha ha ha!
	That's an interesting twist.
	It's interesting you would pick that up.
	For some reason, that scenario...
	Now that it's been published, they can say, hey, we gave you the warning.
	Yes.
	That scenario popped into my head just by itself.
	And I was like, okay.
	We have to keep an eye on these guys.
	Keep an eye on this whole group.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I live on...
	Excuse me.
	Literally.
	I mean, I can...
	My arm's not that good, but I, you know, the San Francisco Bay is...
	I'm looking at it right now, as a matter of fact.
	I have not seen it.
	They're talking about 10 feet.
	They're talking about 10 degrees.
	They've changed all the numbers.
	The number used to be a couple degrees.
	Now it's 10 degrees?
	And the 10 feet of sea level rise?
	They're upping the ante to try to scare people, and people are still...
	Unfortunately, they still have the skeptics at the Cato Institute and elsewhere with real scientists...
	Yeah.
	And of course, all scientists agree.
	These guys are nuts.
	They're crazy.
	It's like that guy we have...
	Sorry.
	The science is in!
	You had the clip of the guy giving testimony before Congress who was the head of the National Hurricane Center.
	Yeah.
	And after he retired, he went to front of Congress and says, there's no connection between global, even if there was global warming, it's got nothing to do with hurricanes.
	Yeah.
	And they just ridiculed.
	The guy's an old man.
	He's lost his nuts.
	Crazy coot.
	He's lost his marbles.
	Coot.
	He's a coot.
	A little bit of technology news for a moment here, since we're the only ones that do stuff properly.
	I'm going to evoke a new term.
	You know, everything today is about income equality.
	Yeah.
	What do we have?
	Gender equality.
	Race equality.
	I'm going to call net neutrality packet equality.
	Just want to put that in there.
	I like it.
	And I know you don't like belaboring this conversation, but now we have Al Franken doing videos, and there's noslownet.org, and you got all of these NGOs.
	Let me tell you, hear me now, believe me later.
	The minute you allow the government to regulate anything with the internet, here is your slogan.
	Shut up, slave!
	Remember, number two on the list of three from the FCC is that the ISPs will not be able to block legal content.
	Which, of course, means they will be forced to block illegal content.
	Whatever that is, whatever is defined as illegal at the moment, which could be anything.
	And in the hate crime, hate crime and hate speech will be deemed illegal.
	And I think you could probably, in a broad sense, you could say this podcast is illegal.
	It's illegal.
	A ton of hate speech.
	We hate these reports.
	It's all context, of course, but if someone just casually tuned in, they would say, my God, these guys are misogynistic, racist pricks.
	That could happen.
	And they're old.
	And they're old.
	Senior citizens.
	These old guys are too influential.
	Let's get them off the air.
	Yeah.
	So the technology firms who are writing in, Google and Yahoo, they love this because it is in their DNA to provide brand-safe content, you see.
	This is what they sell.
	Brand-safe.
	That's what Google does.
	That's what Yahoo does.
	Although Tumblr, I don't know how they're going to get around that.
	Man, Tumblr is nothing but gif porn.
	Have you looked at Tumblr?
	Tumblr is the most pornographic.
	Holy crap!
	But good, high quality.
	There's a lot of high quality stuff, but there's illegal stuff on Tumblr, lots of it.
	I love sexy blowjobs.
	Oh my god, this is a great Tumblr.
	On Tumblr, and once you start, it's horrible.
	Oh, it's fantastic.
	It all depends on your...
	But I think in a broad sense, it's absolutely...
	Horrible.
	It would be deemed illegal.
	It's not entertaining, horrible.
	But, I mean, the kind of stuff that you're...
	Yahoo owns this thing.
	Yes.
	And it's like, did Marissa Meyer...
	She must be on there somewhere.
	She only owned it to get her own pictures off.
	I have no idea why they would buy this.
	Wow.
	I just had a fantasy.
	All right.
	Onward with that.
	So the...
	Scan it, boys.
	Scan every page.
	You've got to get these pictures off.
	But the point is...
	that this whole thing started, and by the way, Google and Netflix, they work together now.
	They're doing conferences together.
	They send noted letters together.
	This whole thing started because of Netflix, because people want their cheap access to Hollywood entertainment.
	Netflix is not the no agenda show.
	It's not the Twit network.
	Netflix is just cheap, $5, $7, what is it, $15 a month.
	I don't even know what it costs.
	I don't think it's that much.
	I think it's $7.99 or something.
	I'm not sure.
	Let's say $10 a month, and that's what people are complaining about, and that's why this is going to be put in place, and it is not going to...
	Net neutrality rules will not change anything with your speed or your slowness, your access to content, but your content will be deemed illegal.
	And that will be deemed illegal by content and by context, like BitTorrent.
	How come nobody complains about net neutrality on the mobile device?
	Please, don't even get me started.
	Or the fact that it's metered bandwidth.
	That's the second thing you'll get, is you'll be metered and you will be paying for this like utility, which is what everybody wants.
	I like you going back and forth with the guy on Twitter.
	The guy has like two followers.
	Ten.
	He had ten.
	After we were done, he had ten.
	Okay.
	Yeah, you gave him an extra follower.
	I gave him eight more.
	So he starts off, and you gave me nothing but grief, and I think it was on the last show, for responding to these...
	I know, I know.
	I fell for it.
	Okay.
	Just making sure that you realize it can happen to anyone.
	I was ill.
	Whatever the case was, I had some guy give me grief about...
	But the thing that bothers me the most, and this will lead into my next topic, is the total lack of technical understanding of what a saturated router looks like, what a 90% full port looks like.
	It's infinite!
	Yeah, bandwidth and internet is not infinite.
	We knew this day was coming.
	We knew it was going to happen with video.
	It's here.
	And the commercially available solutions are really quite good.
	Now, when it comes to your Hollywood content, of course the cable company that provides your internet wants to have a piece of that pie.
	Of course they do.
	But calling for net neutrality?
	I want a whole separate internet for Hollywood content.
	I think you should log into a separate network for that.
	Please!
	Make it the fast lane.
	That'd be great.
	Google Fiber is only for Netflix and for Amazon Video.
	That's fantastic.
	And...
	It may be five years from now, but you will come to me and you will say, because my whole life has been like this.
	People say, oh man, you were so right ten years ago.
	No, they're not going to say.
	You know what they're going to say?
	No, they do say it.
	They're going to say, yeah, Curry's a dick.
	Well, yeah, well, there's that part.
	Then, because it's playing up again, I need to debunk a few things about the podcast patent lawsuit, and specifically Adam Carolla.
	This is making me a little mad, okay?
	Because podcasting is not in peril.
	An mp3 file that is played by you on your computer that I get to you somehow, either through a website or a BitTorrent sync or an email or an FTP server, podcasting is not in peril.
	Moreover, podcasts on iTunes are not in peril because iTunes has already buckled and is paying the license, which is a license to not a patent troll.
	A patent troll is a company that buys patents to then go and monetize them.
	This is the actual patent owner.
	Now, do I believe that this patent is fair and correct?
	Probably not.
	But that's not how the patent system works.
	But for Adam Carolla to go raise money, and he did his whole concert, and everyone's all in on the comedians, oh, the podcasting is gonna die, it's bullshit!
	And I want to play this USA Today piece from their technology reporter, which we'll have to interrupt, to set some of the records straight, okay?
	Podcasting, particularly if it's through iTunes, who pay their license fee for the technology of delivering episodic content through a playlist.
	That's the simplified version of what their patent is.
	They pay for it.
	And Apple is very good at busting patent lawsuits, so it's frivolous, and I believe the money is being collected dishonestly to some degree.
	I don't want to accuse anybody of anything, but I feel if you're putting money into this thinking that you're saving podcasting, you're a fool.
	Here's the thing that gets to me, is that the EFF has been actually filing cases against this thing, and they haven't spent, but I think...
	It's $30,000.
	$30,000 you have to pay to do a re-examination of a patent.
	And I think they've spent...
	They've already spent that.
	Yeah, they spent that, plus some more, I think, but they spent a couple hundred thousand.
	Why does Corolla claim this $1.2 million that he needs?
	He needs new lawyers, is what he needs.
	What, do you think that goes into the ether?
	No, it goes to some law firm.
	If true.
	Now, let's listen to this report.
	Now, by the way, that music means technology report ahead.
	Yeah, get it on.
	Got to get it on.
	No choice but to get it on.
	Mandate.
	Get it on.
	By the way, if that's what you're saving...
	If that's the show you're saving...
	In just a few short years, the new medium of podcasting has become wildly popular.
	Yes!
	Here we go.
	Allowing comedians, authors, and average folks a vehicle to speak into a microphone directly to millions of listeners.
	Spoken like a true mainstream hack.
	Millions?
	Well, first of all, ordinary folks with a microphone.
	Hello, 2004.
	We'd like our reporting back on what a podcast is.
	You moron.
	This is the best podcast in the universe, dude.
	But the future of podcasting is in question.
	No, it's not!
	You may have heard comedian Adam Carolla or others like Marc Maron or Maria Menounos complaining about podcast trolls.
	So, podcast trolls.
	Now we've got a hybrid in this fine report of USA Today, the newspaper for the masses.
	A podcast troll.
	The only podcast troll I know of is Comic Strip Blogger.
	I was waiting.
	Delayed reaction, but thank you.
	A Texas company, Personal Audio, claims it invented the concept of podcasting and it has the patents to prove it.
	They are suing Corolla, two other podcasters, as well as broadcast networks.
	The first thing they said was give us three million dollars.
	Corolla is raising money on the Fund Anything site to fight the case.
	So it's over a million dollars to fight the patent trolls.
	So far he's brought in over $350,000 and his fans are with him.
	The fact that somebody can just buy a patent and then sue other people It's going to destroy the fabric of America.
	Okay, so now this report, this is so off the rails at this point, where first it was a podcast troll, Corolla talks of a patent troll, which is, as far as I'm concerned, not the definition.
	Someone has a patent, holds the patent, was awarded this patent by the U.S. Patent Office, and is defending his patent, has already won an injunction against Apple, who fought and lost.
	And I'm pretty sure they didn't say, give me $3 million.
	I'm pretty sure they said, well, here's what you're making, here's the license fee, for the way he is displaying...
	See, it doesn't work this way.
	It is not typical for a patent lawsuit to start with, you owe me all this money because you ripped me off.
	Not in these cases.
	Certainly not for a process.
	They would have to send a note and say, oh, would you please cease and desist?
	And in this case, he would have to cease and desist in the manner in which he was making his shows available.
	With a notification system for a podcast, essentially having a podcatcher widget on your website, which you create and you put there, would open you up to a licensing fee from this company.
	Which is why no one has come after this podcast.
	That is the only reason.
	We are not in violation of any patent.
	We use iTunes.
	We just put up a page.
	We don't have any fancy player stuff.
	We just got the single player for a single episode.
	No notification systems.
	That's what this is about.
	All you had to do was just change it.
	In this business of a million dollars to fight some suit for three million they wanted, without seeing documentation, I'm just not buying it.
	And I've been in some court cases myself.
	This media is still sort of new and developing, but it is accessible to everybody, and it would be a shame to allow these so-called non-practicing entities to put the kibosh on it.
	So there's no non-practicing entity putting a kibosh on podcasting.
	Meanwhile, who's behind personal audio?
	Well, I spoke with co-founder Jim Logan by phone, and he told me he came up with the concept of downloadable entertainment in 1996 and invested over $1 million to develop an MP3 player that could receive content from the Internet.
	Now, the product never made it to market, but he did file a patent for his idea, then updated it to include the new podcasting medium in 2009.
	Corolla and others say companies like Personal Audio are trolls because they exist solely to buy patents and then demand licensing fees.
	This is not true.
	This is just not true.
	They didn't buy the patent.
	They own the patent.
	It is the inventor.
	And these things happen.
	Now, that doesn't mean that there isn't prior art and what the EFF is doing, although I refuse to work with the EFF because the same way they approached me was the same message.
	Podcasting's in peril!
	No, I will not participate in that.
	You're scaring people into doing something which is just factually not true.
	I don't like that.
	They're going the right route by asking for a review on the patent and trying to show prior art, but it's just not okay to scare people that your favorite podcast is going to go away and, oh, please give me money.
	That's not okay.
	Logan, he says he came up with the concept and an idea and, quote, we're the bad guy because we're trying to get a license fee for that?
	The trial begins in September in a small East Texas community where results from patent suits have historically favored the plaintiffs.
	Personal Audio first challenged Apple over the use of playlists and won an $8 million settlement.
	But the Electronic Freedom Foundation, a San Francisco non-profit, has filed a challenge to invalidate Personal Audio's patent in federal court and was granted a go-ahead.
	Now stick with us here for the latest on the case.
	From the USAID Newsroom, I'm Jefferson Graham.
	Hey, end of your technology report as witnessed by the music.
	Very poor report, Jeff.
	Very, very poor.
	And so the end there, we got a couple things straight.
	But I fail to understand why a million dollars is needed when you can just say, okay, I won't present my podcast that way.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it seems reasonable to me.
	Your analysis seems to be the only one I've heard.
	Of course, you are...
	By the way, you're losing the title of the podfather, having invented the podcast idea with Dave Weiner.
	Yes.
	Because these guys are making a big fuss.
	And also, Dave Weiner makes a good point that technology isn't never really invented.
	It's like neither he or I created the MP3 format, or the internet.
	Technology evolves over time, and the popularization of the concept and putting all the pieces together, yes...
	And that happened in 2001.
	It took us three years before there was all of a sudden a device, and that was the iPod.
	And then it made sense to have it delivered directly to that, which apparently this guy had already done in 1996.
	What can you say?
	That's the way the patent system works.
	But people are being taken advantage of With this fundraising, this bothers me.
	And EFF, the same way, because they emailed Dave and myself, like, hey, you know, get on board with this.
	But their whole thing was, patent trolls, bastards are killing podcasting.
	No, they're not.
	In fact, we deliver a majority of our podcasts now through BitTorrent Sync, which is very effective.
	And people like it a lot.
	And there's no servers.
	Well, that's not entirely true.
	But there's no charges.
	No bill comes at the end of the month.
	And I'm just a little tired because people say, Hey, what's your take on this?
	this.
	How come they...
	All righty.
	I'm going to show my support by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on No Agenda in the morning.
	We got a pretty good group of people that came in this week, especially because of the Cinco de Mayo.
	We had a special donation number.
	There are people that saw that special newt on Monday.
	But let's thank...
	Thank many of them, including Michael Reif from Orlando, Florida.
	Came in with $133.33.
	Been listening since show 593.
	I'm sorry.
	This doesn't happen often, but somehow I close the spreadsheet.
	And I have to go reopen it.
	Okay, well, you can do that while I'm talking.
	But you're supposed to be reading these things.
	That's what I mean.
	But that's okay.
	There's nothing coming up for a minute or two.
	Nick McFall in Herndon, Virginia.
	$125.25.
	And by the way, he says he felt bad about not donating since hearing about Adam's illness.
	You get people that...
	That are sympathetic to you.
	Well, hey, listen.
	You should just stay sick.
	This is our new secret weapon.
	This is how we get donations.
	Sick.
	I was sick.
	I was pretty darn sick, and I was still doing the show, and I think people appreciate the extra effort.
	Yeah, well, you're a trooper in the show business sense.
	I'm a super trooper.
	C Squared Productions, $123.33.
	Kittens and Courage.
	Sheldon Weisner in Lubbock, Texas.
	I've actually been there.
	$110.
	It says time's been tight.
	He's trying to get back up to speed here.
	Sir Roll SK. $100 from Saskatoon.
	He's always in the chat room.
	And he's the Paris of Canada.
	Trent Bourgeois.
	If I guess.
	In Bismarck, North Dakota, $99.
	Stefania Royenjars.
	Yeah, see, I still don't have the spreadsheet open for a number of reasons, but it sounds like you need my help.
	I do now.
	Okay, it's almost there.
	He or she is in Amsterdam.
	And it says anonymous.
	Isn't it great?
	Can you spell...
	It says anonymous, so never mind.
	Oh, okay.
	Oops!
	Adam...
	It's okay.
	I couldn't pronounce it anyway.
	Adam Crumpler in Denton, Texas.
	7272.
	Thomas Weir in Norway.
	$70.70.
	A lot of people saying get well soon.
	Two 69ers, Alec Dowdy in Brisbane, Queensland, and Mark Pugner from Parts Unknown.
	That guy.
	That Pugner guy keeps coming in.
	He sends it in as a post office mail order with an anonymous envelope.
	Imad Ulad6722.
	Can I just tell you the craziest thing?
	Yeah.
	Okay, so I upgraded the desktop machine to Mavericks.
	That is the most recent Apple operating system.
	And now when I open up a spreadsheet, you ready for this?
	It opens up in the PDF viewer as a PDF. What?
	I know.
	Well, that's idiotic.
	Yeah.
	You must not have Excel installed.
	Well, I do, but I guess I... Well, okay.
	Anyway, I'm here.
	Ah.
	So we're on line 24.
	Sir Grebulon in Tel Aviv.
	Mm-hmm.
	6666.
	His birthday coming up.
	We've got that listed.
	Right on.
	Chris Moore, $66.60 in Finley, Ohio.
	Quinterox, Inc., Brandington, Florida, $66.14.
	Anthony W. DePrato in Somerset, Kentucky, $60.
	And now we have a bunch of San Juan Amayo donations for $55.14 each.
	Thanks for this, guys.
	It was very nice of you to help us out a little bit since we had such a poor showing on Sunday.
	Yes.
	Sir Thomas Nussbaum?
	Twice.
	Twice, two in a row.
	With St.
	Nicole?
	White, St.
	Nicole.
	Zachary Gilbreck in Cordova, Tennessee.
	Adam Kiernan in Westbrook, Maine.
	And he's got a note.
	If Adam would be so obliged.
	Seventh, we got the birthday down.
	Oh, here it is.
	Eric Gammon is a douchebag.
	Not only for not donating, but also for saying he'd rather listen to ads than the donation segment.
	Douchebag!
	Thanks, dude.
	You'd rather listen to ads.
	Really?
	Like a boner pill ad?
	I guess.
	I don't know why anyone would rather listen to it.
	I'm sorry, it's male vitality.
	Male vitality.
	We could do that.
	Hey, look at us.
	We're still here.
	It must be the pill!
	Sir Robert Clayson in London, UK. He's not donated for a while since he's buying a house.
	And then he wants some house buying karma.
	Actually, he mentioned something.
	A lot of people said, you know, I was talking about the date format.
	Yes, that is the ISO 8601 standard, and it is the format I prefer, and I think we should all use it.
	From now on?
	No.
	Forever?
	Meh.
	Meh?
	Yeah, meh.
	I prefer it that way.
	What do you like for organizing?
	I like month, day, year.
	The old way.
	That's crazy!
	It's crazy talk.
	I like feet and inches, too.
	Is that also nuts?
	All my life, all my life, I've been told, oh, metric is coming around the corner.
	This is like, you know, the global warming turning tipping point.
	Oh, metric, metric, get used to it, A4 paper.
	I want to say something here and now.
	A4 paper is ugly.
	It's the wrong proportions.
	When you look at A4 paper, it's too long and skinny.
	It looks creepy.
	It's not visually...
	Exciting.
	Exciting.
	It's not anything.
	It's horrible.
	And all the metric crap, A4 paper is the worst example.
	It just looks, it just feels and looks, it's unpleasant, let's put it that way.
	Um, okay.
	So I feel the same way about putting the 201, 40, 507 kind of thing.
	No, forget it.
	So, um, A4 paper, it's not, it's not a Fibonacci ratio.
	It's not a golden ratio.
	That's the problem I have with it.
	No, that's the problem.
	What is the U.S.? What do we, what do we have in...
	Eight and a half by 11 inches.
	What?
	8 1⁄2 inches by 11 inches.
	Yeah, well, what is the format called?
	It's called Letter.
	That's what it's called.
	Alright, so now that we have started an international incident regarding the A4 size paper.
	I know, there's going to be a bunch of these guys who listen to the show to hate us and they're going to, ew, you waste, feet and inches is stupid.
	I agree, I don't...
	The 100 yard dash, I was so irked.
	Now it's 100 meters.
	Listen, I'm a pilot, so I'm still in miles and knots, you know, nautical miles, which is not the same as a regular mile.
	Right.
	Which is even crazier.
	But when I'm flying, I'm like, I know my minimum airspeed in knots.
	I'm not thinking, oh, how many kilometers is that?
	Because I'd be dead.
	I'm not doing the conversion.
	Also, I like...
	I don't want any email from anyone about this.
	I also like Hector Pascal and not Millibar.
	I'm sorry?
	Hector Pascal.
	For what?
	Barometric pressure.
	I don't know that you can do a Hector Pascal.
	Yes, yes sir, 29.9.
	That is the standard barometric pressure, which is one...
	Oh, I forget now.
	1019, I think, millibar?
	Oh, well, I think, don't we all use it?
	I think the Pascal thing is what I use.
	It's what comes up on the computer.
	Yeah.
	But I agree.
	I think we do need to start a jihad against A4. Al-Aqbar!
	Sir Baz van Bateau in Bateau Bay, New South Wales on the 5514.
	I did Robert Clayson, yes.
	Sorry, 5514 donations.
	Chuck Walters in Schaumburg, Illinois.
	Matt Litke in Tinley Park, Illinois.
	Two Illinoisers right next to each other.
	Mark Alcacer, I think.
	I don't know.
	I think it's Alcacer.
	Sir Nate Wilson in Charleston, South Carolina.
	Lynn Warren in Clinton, Illinois.
	A lot of Illinoisians.
	Richard Hillenbrand in New Woodstock, New York, as opposed to Old Woodstock.
	Mark Drummond, Phillipsburg, New Jersey.
	Ty Oville, AUVIL in Hemiston, Oregon.
	Eric Halbritter in South Ogden, Utah.
	Sir Tim Cheng in Somerville, Massachusetts.
	Pierre Manegra.
	Manegra, right?
	In Winnipeg?
	Home of the Winnipeggers?
	Yeah, I think so.
	I would say Manegra.
	Pierre Manegra.
	Manegra.
	It's French.
	Pierre Manegra.
	Mac Tank, La Jolla.
	Joshua Baxter, Fort Wayne, Indiana.
	Philip Scandariato in Staten Island, New York.
	I've always wanted to visit Staten Island.
	You take the ferry.
	I've never done it.
	There's really, really not all that much to see.
	That's what I hear.
	Dave Carey, that's what I haven't gone.
	Claremont, Dave Carey in Claremont, Florida.
	By the way, I will take that back because I have all my life always enjoyed the people I've met from Staten Island, but it's kind of an elitist Manhattanite joke to make.
	But I take it back.
	The people I know who live in Staten Island are cool.
	Okay.
	I don't know what you were hoping to avoid by saying that, but okay.
	Joshua Baxter in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
	Phillips of Scandiniato in Staten Island.
	Okay, I'm catching up again.
	Dave Carey in Claremont, Florida.
	Jeffrey Lentges.
	Lentges?
	Let me try it.
	Jeffrey Lentges in Hellwitzler's.
	You sound like a Dutch retard.
	Jeffrey Leinches in Hella Food Slouse.
	Okay.
	Adam at curry.com.
	Dutch retard.
	Which is a contradiction in terms.
	Whoa!
	I'm all over it.
	I'm all over it today, baby.
	Aaron Hatch in Dallas, Texas.
	Steven.
	That's what you get from putting me in bed for a week.
	Stefan Yarosh in Wakefield, Massachusetts.
	Oh, hold on a second.
	Whoa!
	Oh, man.
	Yeah, I didn't expect this.
	Well, I'll just skip him for now.
	Oh, here it is.
	is i got it i got it i got it the lords dames knights slaves and elites please be outstanding for another donation from the grand duke von palsmacher yes every every grand duke gets this a jingle Hell yeah.
	I didn't even see him on the list, man.
	I'm sorry.
	55-14, he's in Belgium.
	Indeed.
	And he says, Happy Cinco de Mayo, Seniors.
	Eric Makarowicz.
	He donates every single week.
	Makarowicz.
	Makarowicz, yeah.
	In Socorro, New Mexico.
	He donates every week.
	He's probably Sir.
	What am I thinking?
	Jonathan Barrez.
	Barrez.
	In Amesbury, Massachusetts.
	And finally, Jason Daniels in Dallas, Texas.
	Those are all our Sanco de Mayo donors.
	And now we go on to Joshua Mandel, 5510, in Greenville, South Carolina, who always mails it in.
	The 11-Tooth Assassin, 5432.
	That's 5432 to you.
	5, 4, 3, 2.
	Jason Peterson.
	These are $50 donors we want to thank.
	Jason Peterson in Kearney, Nebraska.
	John van der Laan in As- As-an As-an As-an Jan van der Laan in As-an Very good.
	In Drenthe.
	Drenthe.
	John Vandalon in Ascendrente.
	Snorkel in North West, Queensland.
	John Virtue.
	What a name.
	That's a great name.
	Yeah, it is.
	In Newport Beach, California.
	Steve Winslow in Bristol, Bristol.
	Matthew Stevens in North Richland Hills.
	Whoops.
	And I just hit the button and went and jumped way back to the beginning.
	Let me just...
	Christian Nelson in Loveland, Colorado.
	Right.
	David Schneider in Crested Butt, Colorado.
	Oh, Crested Butte.
	I'm sorry.
	Crested Butt.
	Really, John?
	Just got that now?
	Yeah.
	Dutch retard.
	Crested Butt.
	Christopher Walker, $50, Parts Unknown.
	Patrick Maycomb, our regular Sir Patrick Maycomb, I'm sure, in Mountain Vernon, New York.
	Brian Watson, another Sir in Raleigh, North Carolina, who comes in often.
	I think twice a month with that.
	Brett Farrell in Oklahoma City, okay.
	Scott Hamilton, it was also a night.
	Scott Hamilton, Hagerston, Maryland, and Sir Alan Bean are regular from Oakland, California with $50.
	And finally, Ray Kluge, the best name there is on this list in Lakehead, California.
	I have Scott Hamilton has a note.
	Is it something you wanted to share with us?
	Yes, he says Scott Hamilton likes theirs.
	He actually sends two notes.
	He sends a little handwritten note.
	And he also mentions that this should be doubled up by Sir J.D. Oh yeah, right, right, right, the double up donation.
	So he wants to get credit for $100 and he has a note.
	This is except my second donation, the note, Jen.
	I'm always amused and a little bewildered when I hear you two call down listeners who occasionally fall behind their episodes and insist on taking whatever time necessary to catch up.
	As one such listener, I must say, I think you are missing the point.
	Your show is so good, your groupies would rather fall a bit behind once in a while than miss one pithy moment of your podcasts.
	I'm sure I'm not alone when I admit that one reason I sometimes lag is because I simply must listen to some podcast twice.
	If not for the content, then for the priceless humor you two reconteurs bring to the show.
	So we're like a news program and a sitcom in one?
	It's like a dessert and a floor wax?
	I think...
	I'm guessing.
	He says...
	If you were to pass over one or even part of one installment just for the sake of staying current, with no disrespect to Adam regarding your recent remark, we occasional stragglers do wish to be au courant, which by definition means to be well informed, not on schedule.
	I stand corrected.
	So stop chastising us and recommending that we skip whole episodes just to keep current.
	Indeed, congratulate yourselves for creating the one and only current events and political analysis program worth listening to.
	I'm humbled.
	I'm humbled.
	I'm humbled by this.
	The best podcast in the universe!
	A two to the head for his son, Matt, and I guess at a Koch Brothers.
	Okay, so we want a two to the head, we want a Koch Brothers, and a Jobs, because we always have lots of people these days looking for jobs.
	Okay, let's do that.
	Wrap this puppy up, exactly.
	Okay, here we go.
	That's really interesting.
	Because of the cart machine being on the other side, I actually played the jingles in reverse.
	Oh, you're so programmed.
	That's weird how the brain works, isn't it?
	Yeah.
	Interesting.
	Of course, we have lots of people who donate under the $50 level, mainly to stay anonymous, but many are also on a night layaway program.
	They're on 33 a month, 12-12, 11-11, many of our programs.
	You can find all of those at our donation page.
	I'd like to pick one out from Nico Renna.
	Hey all, I'm a fellow Austinite that just became a listener two months ago.
	You are both doing an awesome job.
	I used to listen to another alternative media Austinite, but could not take the snake oil sales anymore.
	Love the value for value plan trying to incorporate it into my business.
	Anyway, I'm on a future night layaway plan now.
	I would like to request a de-douching and like to call out Winston Stagg for the biggest offender of douchebaggery in all Austin.
	He's been a listener of y'alls for years yet has never contributed.
	However, he did get me listening to the show.
	Douchebag!
	And I'm going to give you a de-douche and a karma and that karma will be for everybody else who needs it, of course.
	You've been de-douched.
	You've got karma.
	So we start off with Dame Kit congratulating her, and of course she will be damed in a moment, Matthew Steinmetz, Sir Brett Mahoney, Sir Grebulon, Adam Keeman celebrating yesterday, Matt Lidka celebrated on the 5th, and Raymond Royo says happy birthday to his smoking hot wife.
	Jalika.
	She'll be celebrating on May 11th.
	Happy birthday from all of your friends here at The Best Podcast in the Universe.
	And then we have one knighting and one daming.
	So we presume it is Kit Steinmetz.
	Even though it came in on Matthew's account.
	So just get the blade for women.
	This one?
	Yeah, that's the bigger one.
	You know.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I was thinking of something else.
	Yeah, okay.
	There you go.
	Okay.
	Chuck Walters, Kit Steinmetz, step forward.
	Thank you both for contributing to the No Agenda Show, the best podcast in the university amount of $1,000 or more.
	I am very proud to welcome you both to the Roundtable of the Knights and the Dames, and I hereby pronounce the...
	Sir Walters and Dame Kitt, Knights of the Noah and Dame of the Noah General Roundtable for you.
	We've got Hookers and Blow, Rent Boys and Chardonnay, Librarians and Jager Bombs, Whiskey and Wet Wipes, Catalina Yoga and Jambo, Wenches and Beer, Rubin S. Women and Rosé, Vodka and Vanilla, Bong Hits and Bourbon, or Mud and Mead.
	And please go to NoahGendanation.com slash rings.
	Pick up your ring.
	People love...
	I like to get the notes every once in a while.
	We get a lot of checks in the mail.
	Box 339, El Cerrito, California, 94530.
	It's on the donation page.
	And a lot, not all, but a lot of the nights will seal the envelope with the thing.
	I always get a kick out of it.
	Isn't that funny when they do that?
	Yeah, it's great.
	We have...
	I don't know if it really works the way to...
	No, it's not quite as jazzy.
	But it's hard to make it jazzy.
	Let's check in with another one of our favorite topics here.
	Common Core...
	Excuse me.
	New York Times had an interesting article...
	This Common Core thing, although it is so deep, and there's so much going on with this, and of course, this is mainly the Belinda Miller Gates Foundation.
	Belinda Miller Gates Foundation.
	But Pearson, who of course are deep in this, they made, and this is from the New York Times, they made the New York school system Sign a non-disclosure about their tests.
	What?
	Yes.
	By state order, teachers and principals...
	This is again a Belinda Gates kind of thing.
	This is like the tech thing.
	Just use the non-disclosure.
	I don't understand why all this information is getting out.
	Make them sign a non-disclosure.
	Yeah, I can't show you the demo until you sign my NDA. By state order, teachers and principals may not disclose any contents of the three days of standardized English tests that were given at the beginning of April.
	Can you imagine?
	Can you imagine?
	And the teachers were not happy with the tests.
	They didn't like the tests, but they were, by law, forbidden, or by law, by agreement.
	Well, actually, by law, the non-disclosures tend to be a legal binding document.
	In a joint statement issued by the 37 principals, they noted as well that there were product placements, i.e.
	Nike and Barbie, woven into the exam.
	No!
	We already talked about that, but yeah.
	The Common Core curriculum in New York is intended to encourage students to get a strong grip on the meaning of a piece of writing.
	So, this Common Core stuff, here's what I'm learning.
	That's one thing for this all to be state-controlled, which you need to question state education in general.
	And by the way, I got a note from one of our producers who works at Staples.
	And, you know, a lot of homeschoolers pick up materials at Staples.
	Now all the Staples stuff is also all Common Core.
	Adheres to Common Core.
	Pick up the handy app!
	Um...
	But a lot of this stuff is just shoddy work.
	The materials are just crap.
	Witness this little news report.
	It's the worst case of documented genocide the world has ever seen.
	Six million Jews murdered by the Nazis in the Holocaust.
	Yet this homework assignment in Rialto asked middle school students to debate whether it actually happened.
	What?
	Yes.
	Wow!
	Now, the key here...
	Okay, hold it.
	No, no, not yet.
	No, no.
	You've got to listen to the whole thing.
	No, you've got to listen to the whole thing.
	I'll give you a break on that.
	The key is...
	The key.
	What is one of the main things that Common Core portends to do, portends to do?
	You'll hear it in here.
	...debate whether it actually happened.
	What was presented to kids in Rialto was a travesty.
	Rabbi Cooper and others at the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles are outraged by the assignment, asking 8th graders to cite credible sources on both sides.
	The first page states some people claim the Holocaust is not an actual event, but instead a propaganda tool created for political and monetary gain.
	The word credible just jumped right out of the page.
	And later on, you have the Holocaust is the hoax.
	You even have a section called Aunt Frank is a fraud.
	I love that.
	Oh, brother!
	This was a mistake.
	It should be corrected.
	It will be corrected.
	The 18-page project completed in April was created by a group of district educators as an exercise in critical thinking.
	Initially, school officials defended the assignment, but following a firestorm of criticism quickly changed its tune.
	It is an exercise in critical thinking.
	Do I get it now?
	You know, it's, uh...
	Yeah, you might as well give it to yourself.
	That was a good one.
	Clip of the day!
	You should have taken the first one, because the second one, it was like, first you stunned me with a clip of the day, going in a certain direction, and then you just annihilated the whole thing.
	Then you overdid it.
	I overdid it with Anne Frank as a fraud.
	Anne Frank as a fraud is priceless!
	I wish we could do that as a show title.
	It wouldn't work.
	It wouldn't go over very well.
	We do have our standards.
	But this is the problem.
	And this is, by the way, Common Core, the group that did this, funded by Belinda Miller Gates Foundation.
	Can you say it?
	Belinda Miller Gates.
	This is the new way to say it.
	Belinda Miller Gates.
	Belinda Miller Gates Foundation.
	And they're well intended.
	Oh man, I had this conversation with Mickey.
	The sad thing is, these people really mean well.
	They really think, you know, we need critical thinking to debunk these morons who are saying the Holocaust didn't happen.
	We need our kids to grow up to be conspiracy theory debunkers!
	But this is not the way to go about it.
	This is so incredibly misplaced and misjudged and This is the kind of idealism that would come from a tech guy.
	This is all the Asperger's coming out.
	I mean, it's like single-minded tech, too much logic.
	It's like the Vulcan, Spock.
	Logical, yes.
	Now, the other thing, the sinister side of this, which, of course, that woman who you had the great clip from sometime back a few shows ago, maybe five or six shows ago, she would say that, well, here's what's really going on.
	They're doing this testing to see what kids are actually already bought into.
	Right, so they have the camera on the webcam.
	The webcam is tracking the kids' facial movements.
	We have a Jew hater here.
	Jew hater.
	So let's track down his parents and see what's going on.
	Yes.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	This is Doohickey at the school district.
	Yeah.
	You know, Little Timmy, we had this exercise, and it was in critical thinking.
	Are you aware of our common core state standards in critical thinking?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard of it.
	And we're a little concerned.
	Why?
	Because when the phrase, the Holocaust was a hoax and Anne Frank is a fraud came up, Little Timmy seemed for a moment there to nod his head.
	What's the holocaust?
	Alright.
	This kid is going nowhere quick.
	Onward.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's just, it's...
	These people need to be stopped, is all I have to say.
	And I love seeing these articles pop up.
	Now the problem is, in fact I have a report here, Indiana wants to exit Common Core, and on Friday the U.S. Department of Education sent a letter to the Indiana Superintendent of Public Instruction, Glenda Ritz, threatening to revoke the state's waiver from No Child Left Behind, Yeah, they blackmail all these states.
	Yes!
	Yes!
	I know.
	They take their money away.
	Yeah, but this is the problem with the Department of Education.
	Oh, and then, of course, you listen to the Belinda Gates Foundation, or whatever you call it.
	Belinda Miller Gates.
	It's too long.
	I'm going to stick with Belinda.
	Excuse me.
	And they go, oh, it's not a national program.
	This is Bill Gates.
	He was on top.
	Well, it's not a national program.
	Why does everyone upset?
	They can do whatever they want.
	It's not a national program.
	It's not the government, the federal government, telling people how to teach kids or what to teach them.
	Bull crap!
	Until you want to leave.
	It's exactly what it is.
	It's a de facto national program.
	It's de facto.
	Yeah, it's not officially.
	But this is a good example.
	Pathetic.
	Ow.
	One more in California?
	You got a California clip?
	Yeah, I got another California clip.
	This is one of our favorite topics.
	And this goes right along with packet equality.
	Packet equality because, of course, we know that bullying is very slowly becoming illegal.
	Right.
	And anything can be bullying.
	Well, I have some definitions here.
	First, let's listen to this clip.
	This is a bullying law which was voted on last night and passed.
	People say sticks and stones may break my bones and words will never hurt.
	That's a lie.
	That's a lie!
	Words do hurt.
	Carson City Councilman Mike Gibson says the ordinance treats bullies as people who need help, not punishment.
	The first offense is an infraction.
	And then we hope that that ticket will change you.
	But if it happens again, it's not only an infraction where you have to pay money, but also it's counseling.
	And then the third offense goes to a misdemeanor that we believe would be a condition of your probation, also counseling as well, because we believe that those individuals need help.
	You need help.
	Incarceration will work for you.
	So here is the actual law as marked up in your show notes at 615.nashownotes.com or 615.noagendanotes.com.
	Section 41601 findings and purpose the City Council finds and determines the following.
	Bullying and cyberbullying are a serious public health and safety issue for the nation, the state, and the city, and the citizens of Gotham.
	So cyberbullying is a public health issue now?
	No.
	A serious public health and safety issue.
	B. Bullying and cyberbullying are associated with serious mental and physical health issues up to and including suicide.
	Suicide is the third leading cause of death in teenagers.
	C. Bullying and cyberbullying are associated with societal problems that result in cost to the taxpayers, including through minors dropping out of school, abusing drug and alcohol, and engaging in criminal activity.
	D. E. Let's go into definitions.
	We need to know this.
	Bullying, including bullying by means of electronic communication devices, commonly referred to as cyberbullying, shall mean a willful course of conduct which involves harassment of a person from kindergarten through 25 years.
	These are legal definitions, John.
	Write this stuff down.
	You're 25 years old or through the grade 25?
	No, through age 25.
	Okay.
	And when you're 26, which by the way is the time you lose your health insurance, you need all the help you can get.
	Coincidental.
	You can cyber bully at 26 and up?
	Yep.
	Oh, good.
	Well, no, no, you can be cyber bullied.
	Oh.
	Yeah, so if someone bullies you and you're 25, it still falls under this law.
	Okay.
	Course of conduct shall mean a pattern of conduct composed of a series of overt acts over a period of time, however short, evidencing a continuity of purpose.
	So if I just walked by and went, douchebag, and did that a lot, that would be a course of conduct.
	Harassment shall mean any conduct, whether verbal, physical, written, or by means of any mode of communication, including but not limited to harassment by means of electronic communication devices, commonly referred to as cyberbullying, which, one, here's the real definition, John, ready?
	Would cause a person to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or molested, and which serves no legitimate purpose, Or is prohibited by the California Penal Code,
	Sections 240, etc., etc., and is intended to seriously alarm, annoy, torment, or terrorize a person with no legitimate purpose.
	There's a purpose?
	Legitimate.
	That's not legitimate.
	Prohibited conduct.
	It shall be unlawful for any person to engage in any bullying or cyberbullying of a person or induce another person to engage in such bullying.
	So I can't say, hey, go annoy that kid.
	It shall be unlawful for any person to retaliate against any person that reports any conduct which is prohibited by this chapter.
	And then the only other thing I'll add to that is it shall be unlawful...
	Protecting the Finks.
	Yes.
	605 parental responsibility it shall be unlawful for any custodial parent or guardian of an unemancipated person under 18 years of age to allow or permit such person to violate the provisions of section 41603 as aforementioned
	the fact that prior to the present offense a parent guardian or custodian was informed in writing by a law enforcement officer of a separate violation uh incurring within 90 days prior to the present offense shall constitute a rebuttable presumption that such parent guardian or custodian allowed or permitted the present violation lock Yep, take your kids away.
	Lock up the parents.
	So, I just found it very strange that I am now 49 years old.
	49 years old.
	And this was, I'm 50, and this was hammered into my brain since I was a little kid.
	People say sticks and stones may break my bones and words will never hurt.
	That's a lie.
	Words do hurt.
	Who said this is okay to change that?
	I heard the same thing all my life, and it was the counter.
	It was, oh, so what are they saying?
	They're not beating you up or anything.
	They're just saying stuff.
	Along with this comes...
	But now it's a big deal.
	Oh, they said something bad about me, Daddy.
	They said something bad.
	I'm going to tell you what the problem is.
	They said I'm a slut.
	I'm going to tell you what the problem is.
	The problem is, 40% of these kids, and that's just my number, it may be higher, is on some form of medication.
	And a lot of these medications are antidepressants.
	And the number one, we listen to all these commercials, the first thing...
	That is a disclaimer on any antidepressant drug is you may have thoughts of suicide.
	Right.
	Which is very strange, but that's...
	Right.
	So when you're drugged up and you're then getting all of these horrible messages...
	Which, agreed, is no longer like...
	I'll agree to this.
	It used to be you were on the schoolyard.
	Hey, Curry, you suck!
	You got Tourette's!
	What is wrong with your head?
	Hey, Tick Boy!
	Moron!
	Tick Boy!
	Let's go kick his ass!
	But then, you know, once I was at home and the door was closed, maybe, maybe, maybe once in a while someone would call up Yeah, on the phone, and the phone would ring, and I'd be like...
	Hello?
	Hey, Tick Boy!
	So, it's a little different now with the Facebooks and the Twitters and all that.
	Yeah, you can get inundated.
	But...
	Although, you don't need a Facebook account, it seems to me.
	True, true.
	But still...
	With Twitter, I'm getting harassed occasionally by some of these guys.
	I just block them.
	I'm done.
	I'm good.
	You're wrong about this.
	You're wrong about that.
	What did you say in Market Watch 10 years ago?
	I like John except for that mouse thing.
	Good prediction.
	32 years ago.
	Jeez.
	Well, you'll never live that down.
	No, no, no.
	I see it as money in the bank.
	Oh, yeah.
	Hey.
	So, parents, yes, you need to fortify your children, but not with government regulation, because the next thing is restricted speech.
	That's what it is now.
	Yes, I'm sorry.
	You can't annoy someone just by saying, hey, you're a dick.
	Yeah, no, that's annoying.
	It's a borderline misdemeanor to say somebody's a dick.
	Yeah, no, this is bad.
	These kids, I feel so sorry for kids in school that have to go, they have to put up with the common core nonsense, which is teaching them nothing, you know, it's just, you know, cradle to prison.
	Someone said the Belinda Miller Gates Foundation is penile to penal.
	Yeah.
	It works better when you read it, I guess.
	Yeah, it's a written pun.
	Yeah.
	But, you know, you're so right.
	And if you're a little different, in fact, if you are intelligent, if you exhibit above and beyond intelligence, or, my God, maybe you're just different, we gotta drug you.
	Because you think differently, or you have different thoughts, or you daydream, or you think in music, you see music, you hear colors.
	Wow, that was pretty deep.
	It wasn't that deep.
	Well, there are people who hear colors.
	Well...
	But then you get penalized.
	And this is worldwide.
	Not if they shut up and sit down!
	What do we do, John?
	I mean, we always complain.
	Shut up and sit down.
	Shut up and sit down.
	Yeah.
	What do we do?
	What do we do?
	We just do the show.
	Luckily, we have a lot of students that listen and they appreciate what we're talking about.
	I have a clip of, I thought was the funniest clip of the week.
	Okay.
	So Obama has a meeting with Merkel and he's still, and she's just steaming because he can't get his act together to tell her that they're not going to keep spying on her because apparently they're just going to keep spying on her.
	And what is he even meeting with her for?
	But play the clip and you can see.
	President Obama hosted German Chancellor Angela Merkel at the White House Friday amidst continued differences over NSA spying.
	Leaks by whistleblower Edward Snowden show the NSA tapped Merkel's mobile phone in addition to monitoring other German leaders.
	At a news conference, Merkel said gaps remain between the two sides and that it's too soon to return to business as usual.
	Obama acknowledged the Snowden revelations have strained U.S.-German ties.
	It has pained me to see the degree to which the Snowden disclosures have created strains in the relationship.
	But more broadly, I've also been convinced for a very long time that it is important for our legal structures and our policy structures to catch up with rapidly advancing technologies.
	We are committed to a U.S.-German cyber dialogue.
	To close further the gaps that may exist in terms of how we operate, how German intelligence operates, to make sure that there's transparency and clarity about what we're doing and what our goals and our intentions are.
	Negotiations between the US and Germany recently broke down after the Obama administration refused to offer a blanket pledge to refrain from all unauthorized spying on German soil.
	Yeah, this is interesting.
	She's standing right next to him.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, there was something else that popped up here that appeared in an interview with Professor Cohen.
	This is the guy who we thought would never reappear.
	Right, we both...
	He's getting around.
	He's got a publicist, I'm sure of it.
	He does, and he was on PBS... And so I'll play this out of order.
	I want to play what he said about the Merkel meeting.
	Now, actually, I guess I have to kind of set this up.
	Something happened just yesterday, late yesterday, which is this.
	President Vladimir Putin made some surprise statements today over the crisis in Ukraine.
	This afternoon, he called on pro-Russian separatists to postpone their planned secession vote on May 11th.
	He announced that he has withdrawn Russian military forces from Ukraine's border.
	And he even offered conditional support for national elections in late May, which he had previously rejected.
	I want to underline that the planned presidential elections in Kiev are a move in the right direction.
	But they won't solve anything if all of the citizens of Ukraine don't understand how their rights will be guaranteed after these elections are held.
	A White House spokesman said this afternoon that there is no evidence that Russian troops have pulled back and the U.S. imposed further economic penalties on Moscow.
	Okay, so this is very interesting.
	This is another brilliant move by Putin, who's playing chess while the Obama administration plays checkers.
	I think they actually may have reverted to Parcheesi at this point.
	Ha!
	Thank you.
	Thank you for laughing at my old guy reference.
	Canasta.
	I'm going to jump ahead to this piece by Professor Cohen here about something that we had not heard of.
	We have to read the whole statement.
	It's not very long.
	It looks like he spoke for about five or six minutes.
	But he said many important things.
	First, he reiterated the Russian position that we, the United States, created this crisis along with Europe.
	And that Russia is aggrieved.
	Then he went on to say, though, I watched the video, the footage, of what happened in Odessa on Friday.
	And that was a horrific event.
	And you have to remember that for people who live in Russia and Ukraine in particular, It evokes memories of people burning during World War II. Not just Jews, but the fact that the Nazis in those territories locked people in buildings and burned them to death.
	I've talked to Russian friends in Crimea and in larger Russia.
	They were all horrified by what they saw, and so was Putin.
	And so he said, I'm going to take a step to try to stop this.
	We have withdrawn our troops or pulled them back to the Ukrainian border.
	I think we have to assume that's true unless surveillance says he's not telling the truth.
	And then he clearly wants two things in return which need to be mentioned.
	And we'll see if he gets them.
	He wants the United States to tell Kyiv to pull its military forces out of eastern Ukraine.
	And then he revealed something I didn't know.
	Maybe Angela knew it.
	Maybe you folks knew it.
	But he said that in a phone call with German Chancellor Merkel, She had proposed a roundtable of all the aggrieved parties in Ukraine.
	That's Kiev, that's Western Ukraine, that's Eastern Ukraine, to talk about the future of Ukraine, which means a new constitution.
	And he says that he agrees with that, and he will support that.
	So you have, it appears, if he's telling the truth, Germany, Europe more generally, and Russia in favor of this roundtable.
	Now, the United States, so far as I know, is silent.
	And in fact, when Merkel was here, was it just a few days ago?
	Right.
	I don't recall it being part of what they reported they discussed.
	So, if Putin's telling the truth, the United States seems to be dragging its feet.
	I don't know, but that's the impression we have.
	We clearly need some more clarification, but Angela said, how do you...
	I love how she's just like, oh, shut up!
	This is Ixnay on the roundtable, eh?
	This is big news.
	Yeah, it's not being covered.
	Zero coverage, and in fact, I just heard it being covered up?
	Yeah, we need more information.
	I got a couple of Russian sources.
	And of course the State Department after that came out and said, I'm not moving any troops.
	It's bullcrap.
	But we can't believe the State Department.
	I have some funny little duha dikidokies.
	Here is...
	This is...
	You want some hubris?
	Here's Psaki.
	President Putin is planning to visit Crimea on May 9th.
	Do you have a comment on that?
	I've heard reports of that.
	I hope he enjoys his visit to Ukraine.
	Douche.
	And she says Ukraine.
	Yeah.
	And here is...
	So, I guess, actually, Kerry had the talking points.
	It was kind of funny to hear how they are identical.
	And I only pulled this clip because of the word he used.
	We also are very concerned about efforts of pro-Russian separatists in Donetsk and Luhansk to organize, frankly, a contrived, bogus independence referendum on May 11th.
	Bogus?
	Since when is that a diplomatic word, bogus?
	It is bogative.
	I know, but here's Psaki propagating the formula.
	The United States notes with concern efforts by pro-Russian separatists in Donetsk and Luhansk to organize a bogus independence referendum on May 11th.
	She has to repeat herself.
	Did I say bogus clear enough?
	Bogus?
	I have to say bogus again, but now listen to this.
	I flatly reject this illegal effort to further divide Ukraine.
	This is the Crimea playbook all over again.
	No civilized nation will recognize the results, and if Russia takes the next step to reenact its illegal Crimea annexation in eastern or southern Ukraine and sends more forces over the border, harsh U.S. and EU sanctions will follow.
	They said when they send forces over the border...
	No, they keep saying that the 40,000 or the 20,000 troops...
	They're already there!
	I know, I know.
	But she said something else.
	Like it's an active thing, they're sending more forces.
	It's theater.
	She said something else, which Matt...
	Crap in the United States, the American public is getting a raw deal in this because we're being kept in the dark.
	Here is Matt from AP, who I owe a beer to.
	I'd like to get drunk with this guy.
	Wouldn't that be funny?
	Yeah, especially if it was on tape.
	The other thing you said was that no civilized nation will recognize this.
	I'm just curious about the use of the word civilized.
	Would you say the same thing about Crimea?
	No.
	The Crimean referendum?
	So Russia is an uncivilized country, is that what you're saying?
	That's like a Dvorak thing.
	Oh, you said uncivilized.
	Oh, does that mean Russia's uncivilized?
	Is that what you mean?
	What I'm conveying there, Matt, is the broad spectrum of the international community oppose the referendum in Crimean, and we don't think the international community will support this, I think.
	Right, fair enough.
	But any country that recognized the Crimean referendum and annexation by Russia, or would, if these other places go, is uncivilized in the U.S. view.
	I think you're using the word in a way I didn't mean to convey it.
	Oh, well then don't say it.
	Of course, the citizenry of Euroland...
	They need to be controlled.
	The message needs to come through.
	They need more reasons to hate the Poo-in.
	Hold on a second.
	The Poo-in.
	Putin!
	What is playing right now?
	Tonight we have the second semifinals, and on Saturday we have the final.
	The final, final, final.
	I'm very excited, John.
	Every single year we pay attention to this.
	You pay attention.
	Russia and Ukraine pulled out all the stops in their performances.
	The 17-year-old Tomocheli twins hoped the giant seesaw would catapult them to the final.
	And Ukraine's Maria Uremchuk sang her heart out as a dancer sped around a human hamster wheel.
	Do you know what this is?
	Of course I do.
	It's a Eurovision thing that you're just so in love with.
	All very impressive until the results were announced and there was no suppressing the boos for Russia.
	Russia!
	La Russie!
	Our lovely twins there too and their lovely blonde hair.
	Russia have a 100% success rate in qualifying for the final.
	Oh, audience don't seem to like that.
	The first semi-final is over and all the fans are now coming out of the stadium.
	Russia and the Ukraine are both through to the final on Saturday night.
	Now.
	What a coincidence.
	Now.
	This is the most rigged piece of crap ever.
	Here is the news coming out of Europe that evil, evil, evil...
	VOTAN! He has put together telephone voting camps.
	This is a telephonic vote, this Eurovision Song Contest.
	Oh, so they're gonna...
	So he has put together voting camps where people are doing nothing but sitting there and calling in voting.
	That's the best they can come up with.
	Wow.
	Well, what's your prediction?
	My prediction would be that Ukraine would have to win.
	Well, the problem is...
	This is more dramatic.
	The problem is we don't know all the finalists yet.
	Otherwise, of course, I would have won a...
	I think Ukraine has the better song.
	Here is the...
	Play us a clip.
	So here's the Russian entry.
	This is...
	Tolmachev, the Tolmachev sisters, and this is, the song is Shine.
	Remember, it's all about the song.
	I've been looking at the sky, wishing on a star, I'm waiting for a brand new star.
	I'll fast forward a little bit to the hook.
	I've been looking at the sky, wishing on a star, I'm waiting for a brand new star.
	I've been looking at the sky, wishing on a star, I'm waiting for a brand new star.
	I'll fast forward a little bit to the hook.
	I've been looking at the sky, wishing on a star, I'm waiting for a brand new star.
	Hello, 1980 calling.
	1980 calling.
	Now, the Netherlands is also through to the finals.
	The Dutch are very, very happy.
	They have two of their big stars, Ilse DeLonge and Waylon.
	Together, they are called the Common Linets.
	What is that stupid name?
	That was the first one you played?
	That was Russia.
	Why were they singing in English?
	Oh, they're all singing in English this year for some reason.
	Oh.
	Here's the Dutch entry.
	This is called Calm After the Storm.
	I hate it already.
	Now listen to the...
	It's pretty bad.
	Here's the Ukrainian entry.
	This is Maria...
	Yarumchuk.
	Her song is called Tick Tock.
	I think it's a catchy little tune.
	I think it could actually...
	And she's cute.
	And she's cute, by the way.
	Here we go.
	Bam!
	Yeah, hit me out!
	Wow!
	Boom!
	Ha!
	Hey!
	Hey!
	I believe that I loved you since the first time that I saw you.
	Oh yeah, baby, I loved you the first time I saw you.
	You can tell that she's going to win.
	Hey, listen, listen.
	I am.
	Say, TikTok!
	Hey, you can get off.
	Yeah.
	So, okay, nah.
	Nah.
	At the contest, the songs are old-fashioned.
	Yeah, well, that's the whole thing is old-fashioned.
	The whole idea is old-fashioned.
	But, yeah, Ukraine get a big round of applause.
	Russia should come in number two.
	Let's turn the same round together in the semifinals.
	I don't know.
	We'll keep you trapped.
	Russia can't win.
	They cannot win.
	No, no, no.
	Russia cannot win.
	No, they cannot win.
	I have two more clips here.
	One is from the bogative prime minister, Yatsenyuk.
	I've been doing a little more research on kind of going back to the Victoria Nuland thing.
	Right, handing out cookies.
	Yeah, no, when she says, F the EU, and she's talking about, you know, the boxer not being in the party, and she keeps talking about Ole Tanibok and Yatz.
	And Tonebock, he is the leader of the Sabota Party, and so you have pictures of her, of McCain, all of this.
	Isn't the Sabota Party, that's the right-wingers?
	These are the Nazis, exactly!
	But she's behind the Nazi Party?
	There's pictures of her, and Yats, and McCain, and the Nazi guy, all hanging out!
	Really?
	Oh yeah.
	It's so clear, but of course, I'm sorry, not clear unless you look at our show notes, because you're not going to get it from the news.
	But here's this bass player from the 70s disco band, known as Yats, the Prime Minister of the Bogut of Kiev regime.
	He is nuts.
	Listen.
	We are fighting with an invisible Russian agents.
	We're fighting invisible Russian agents.
	They're invisible now, John.
	Invisible.
	We are fighting with an invisible Russian agents.
	With a well-planned and well-plotted operation.
	It seems to me that the entire world is facing a new type of war.
	This is the new war.
	With the military, with no insignia on their uniforms.
	This is the new kind of war.
	The whole world is facing the invisible Russian agents.
	Really?
	Huh.
	Interesting.
	Now this leads me...
	I'm gonna...
	I gotta take this all the way now.
	I gotta go all the way.
	Sorry, I gotta go all the way.
	Um, okay.
	These sanctions and all this bullcrap...
	Is, of course, exactly that.
	And even though we now have MasterCard, see Russia demand $3.8 billion security deposit from Visa and MasterCard to even operate in the country.
	This little report on the BBC, I picked up this little snippet.
	Despite talk of Russia facing economic consequences for its actions, You see,
	Russia has borrowed hundreds of billions of dollars from British, American banks, This is all completely interwoven, and this unfortunately now starts to come a little bit into my SDR theory, that everyone is basically working for the Bank of International Settlements.
	All the central banks, they all do their settlements, literally, their back-and-forth payments through the BIS. And it was a piece that I picked up from Charlie Rose from 2009 with Henry Kissinger.
	He kind of lays out exactly what is happening at this very moment.
	And I went to the trouble last night.
	It took me about 45 minutes to cut out all of the pauses that Kissinger and Rose collectively make.
	Yeah, the show could be a good half-hour show if they weren't just staring at it.
	It's horrendous.
	So this is Kissinger.
	This is right as the Obama administration is coming in, in 2009.
	And he is talking about the crisis, the financial crisis, how it is a good thing, how it benefits those who are truly in control.
	And that it will lead to some new form of system.
	I just wanted to play this as a frame of reference because I think it's very interesting because Kissinger is the kind of guy who would know some of these long-term plans.
	Paradoxically, this moment of crisis is also one of great opportunity.
	I think that when...
	The new administration assesses the position in which it finds itself.
	It will see a huge crisis and terrible problems.
	But I could see that it sees a glimmer in which it could construct an international system out of it.
	If you look back to the end of the Second World War, many people now think that the period between 1945 and 1950 was in many ways the most creative period, or one of the most creative periods of American foreign policy.
	But it started with chaos and fear of Russian invasion of Europe and governments that were very weak, So the United Nations came out of that, the Marshall Plan came out of that, NATO came out of that, and later the Truman Doctrine came out of that later.
	There is opportunity in the crisis.
	When you look at the medium-term interests and the long-term interests of the key players, India, China, Russia, America, Europe, they really are importantly parallel.
	But when you talk about a new structure, new...
	I'm not sure you've used the term new world order.
	I mean, what is it?
	Is it simply a world order that's defined by new interest and new mutuality of interest?
	All of these issues necessitate a global approach.
	So you don't have to invent an international order in talking to the leaders of the world that I have...
	We've met and counted in recent months.
	Their willingness to cooperate with America has been enhanced by the very recent crisis, the economic crisis, and also the way the whole international system is evolving.
	It seems to me the larger point you're making is that the economic crisis that is prevalent in the United States, in Europe, in Russia, and in China, India, offers an opportunity to make a case for something new rather than something old.
	Yes.
	Funnily enough, even the jihadist crisis, it's bringing home to everybody that international affairs cannot be conducted entirely by drawing borders and then defining international politics by who crosses what borders with organized military force.
	This has now been reinforced by the fact that the financial crisis, which totally unexpectedly has spread around the world, limits the resources that each country has What would you call this age, this opportunity, this moment?
	So, what I found interesting there is the parallel of the fear of Russia invading countries, all these new programs and groups coming out of this, and a possible new system.
	And I know that you disagree with me on this and you feel that this will never happen with the dollar, but I just feel that all these people are all in on it.
	I don't think they give a crap about America.
	And it still comes down to this rejiggering of the IMF with the 2010 reforms, those being ratified, which now America has been given until the end of this year, until 2015, to do that.
	But I just read more and more opinion pieces that the idea of killing the dollar seems plausible.
	Just not buying it.
	No, it's okay.
	We don't have to agree on this.
	In fact, here's Janet Yellen again.
	She said something which I'm not quite sure why the stock market goes up when she says these things.
	Concern about regulations, about taxation, about uncertainty, about fiscal policy.
	I guess one recommendation that I would give you is that long-term budget deficits we can see in, for example, CBO's very long-term projections that they remain There is more work to do to put fiscal policy on a sustainable course,
	that progress has been made over the last several years in bringing down deficits in the short term, but that a combination of Demographics, the structure of entitlement programs, and historic trends in healthcare costs.
	We can see that over the long term, deficits will rise to unsustainable levels.
	Okay.
	Unsustainable levels.
	And she says, you know, hey, well, there you have it.
	Yeah, why would that make the stock market go up?
	Yeah, why?
	Because it's assumed that if this gloom and doom scenario always assumes that the market does anyway, that means that they have to keep the quantitative easing going on, which means they're printing money, throwing it into the market, making everything more valuable.
	Right.
	If it was a good scenario, they would all be bailing out.
	Right, but...
	It's just the opposite of what you think.
	Whatever you think, oh, this is bad news, it can be reinterpreted as good news in some ways.
	And the good news is trying to out-guess what the Fed's going to do about this problem that they foresee.
	And typically, what they've been doing recently is bringing more money.
	And that's good news for the market.
	So it'd go up.
	Buy, buy, buy.
	It's crazy.
	It's the way it works.
	I think we should sell, sell, sell on the tech stuff, though.
	Oh, well, especially Twitter.
	Did you see that Justin Rosenkramp, whatever his name is?
	No.
	At the TechCrunch Disrupt?
	No, I don't pay attention to that anymore.
	Oh.
	I think he used to work at Google, and he did...
	You remember the AOL digital prophet?
	What's his name?
	Shingy?
	Oh, that crazy guy.
	So this is kind of like the ying to his yang.
	You want to hear some buzzwords?
	Okay.
	You want to hear some crazy tech guy?
	I love these crazy tech guys.
	In 1892, King Ludwig II unveiled what would be his greatest legacy.
	This castle.
	We in this room, we in technology, have a greater capacity to change the world than the kings and presidents of even a hundred years ago.
	This unprecedented moment in civilization where suddenly this tiny number of people have the ability to have huge world-shaping impact on everyone in the world.
	And so the question we want to look at here is, how do we want to be using all that power?
	Power!
	How do you want to be using that power?
	Let's use the power.
	I say let's...
	It's just an annoying, a feat, creep.
	Yes!
	Yeah, I can't take it.
	Do great things.
	Do great things, John.
	Let's do great things with our power of Silicon Valley.
	Do great things.
	Let's do things that have spoken their own dope.
	Really, substantively work to help humanity thrive.
	Let's help humanity thrive.
	That'll do it.
	Okay, I can't handle it anymore.
	These guys do nothing about poverty, which is the real problem.
	Oh, hold on.
	Let's solve the big problems.
	Like poverty.
	And let's dedicate our energy to consciously moving the world in the direction of our dreams.
	Like solving poverty.
	He doesn't say the word poverty, does he?
	I don't know.
	What's amazing about being in technology is that we don't even have to sacrifice our personal well-being in order to do this.
	I mean, it would be insensitive for me to give this talk in most industries.
	But for us, who have been lucky enough to have the opportunities we have to unborn at the right place at the right time with the right education, we can have our cake and eat it too.
	Woo!
	And I want to live in the beautiful world that we can create together.
	So as an example, my first job out of college...
	I can't take it.
	You're right.
	No, no, I got to hear the rest.
	...was at Google.
	And of course, the compensation package...
	First job was with Google?
	Yeah, out of college.
	That's an idiot.
	Well, listen.
	...together.
	So as an example, my first job out of college was at Google.
	And of course, the compensation package they were offering was important to me.
	Love, love, love.
	But there were several companies that could have offered me that compensation.
	The reason I went to work for Google is because Google's mission is to organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful.
	That is a hell of a mission.
	The idea that I could be even one small part of organizing the world's information, this is a no-brainer decision to take this job.
	God, okay, that's enough.
	No-brainer.
	Free food, free food.
	All you can eat, all you can eat, all 24-7.
	Do you have anything or can you just get out of here?
	I got a couple of things, but I... We're running way long, darling.
	Yeah, well, you had these clips at the end you could have avoided.
	No, I can't avoid the Putin stuff.
	The Putin stuff's important.
	No, the Putin stuff's okay, but this guy from Google...
	Two minutes out of your life.
	It could have been on Sunday.
	Could have started the show with that guy, and then I'd been irked the whole time.
	It'd been more fun.
	No, okay.
	Now I'm going away irked.
	Thanks.
	All right, I'm calling it.
	I'm calling it.
	I'm calling it at 3 hours and 16 minutes.
	Too long.
	You should have cut her off half an hour ago.
	Now I want to say something.
	On Sunday, we're going to introduce the new president of Syria.
	Oh.
	Is this a clip?
	Yeah, it's a clip.
	Oh, jeez.
	Hold on a second.
	Really?
	Well, it's a long clip, so you can't play it now.
	No, well, you want me to play it now?
	No, no, no, no.
	We're pretending there's a new president of the Syria.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	No, we're not pretending.
	They're calling a president so-and-so.
	Oh, okay.
	But we're playing, we're going to talk about that on Sunday.
	Yes.
	And Sunday, we will also congratulate the winner of the Eurovision Song Contest.
	Oh.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	I don't...
	You could have left that out, too.
	I know, I know, I know, I know.
	I try.
	All right, John.
	Well, it's always a pleasure to talk with you.
	We just put these people behind further.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	No kidding.
	Try to catch up.
	Try to catch up!
	Coming to you from FEMA Region 6 here in the Travis Heights Hideout in the capital of the Drone Star State, it's been my pleasure to serve you.
	And my name is Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where I remain...
	In 1956, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll be very happy to come back again on Sunday to bring you another episode of the best podcast in the universe, which needs your support.
	We will be reminding you with one of our newsletters.
	Probably coming out on Saturday.
	Over three hours of material.
	This is like a long movie.
	You can't buy this sort of thing at the theater.
	It costs you a fortune.
	You know what it costs to go to Disneyland?
	$100 a day if you're 11 years old.
	Talk to you on Sunday, everybody.
	Right here.
	On no agenda.
	What we need right now is a clear message to the people of this country.
	This message must be read in every newspaper, heard on every radio, seen on every television.
	I want this country to realize that we stand on the edge of oblivion.
	I want every man, woman and child to understand how close we are to chaos.
	I want everyone to remember why they need us.
	The best podcast in the universe!

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