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March 6, 2014 - No Agenda

02:55:01

597: Prison Prep

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Time	Text
	She should have rabies.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Thursday, March 6, 2014.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 5, 9, or 7.
	This is No Agenda.
	Enjoying dynamic superfoods here in FEMA Region 6 in the Travis Heights Heights up in Austin, Texas.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from Northern Silicon Valley, where we're three shows away from show 600, the magic number, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	Yeah, I almost forgot about that.
	Yeah, you're forgetting.
	Well, not really.
	Well, then right off the bat, what date is this magic 600 show supposed to fall on?
	Well, this is 597, so the next show is 598, then 599, and then boom, 600.
	Right, so that's Thursday the something?
	Is it?
	No, today is Thursday, so it'll be a Sunday, because this is 5-9-7?
	Yes.
	Okay, then 5-9-8 is Sunday, 5-9-9 is Thursday, 5-6-0 is Sunday.
	Right.
	Which day will that be?
	I don't know.
	Look at the calendar.
	That's why I asked you.
	I don't have a calendar open.
	You maintain all that stuff in your drawer.
	Maintain it in the drawer.
	I use the calendar.
	Okay.
	Today is the 13th.
	It's the 16th.
	The 16th of March.
	The Ides of March.
	And that will also be the six-week cycle, I presume.
	Yeah.
	Six-week cycle on show 600.
	Now you're talking.
	Yeah.
	So that's coming up, too.
	So we can look forward to some phony baloney event to take place.
	Speaking of phony baloney events...
	You're going to talk about the Ukraine?
	No, let's talk about the Oscars.
	Oh, wow, damn it!
	What?
	I left my notes downstairs.
	And I even asked you in the pre-stream if you wanted to go get them real quick and I'll do something for myself.
	Yeah, do something for yourself.
	It'll only take me a second.
	Yeah.
	Okay, let me see what I can do for myself while we're waiting for John to go do that.
	Hold on a second.
	Well, you know what we can do?
	Something we haven't done in a long time.
	While we have everybody paying attention, let's do our national anthem.
	Ladies and gentlemen, please rise.
	And of course you may sing along.
	In the morning, Gitmo Nation, we are all charged up to beat.
	Human resources and service in all lands and all ships at sea.
	From the east to west, down under to the lowlands and beyond.
	We are happy and distracted slaves.
	Hear our Ditmo Nation song.
	Perfect!
	People are always asking to hear that.
	Yeah, that was actually a good move.
	It's just enough time for me to run downstairs and get something.
	It's a small house, apparently.
	Well, not if you're running.
	It's not that small.
	Alright, since you ran to get your notes, why don't you start reading off your notes first, and I can jump in later.
	I have a couple things.
	One, I don't think, now that I remember the Oscars, ever seeing, I could be wrong, but I don't remember seeing Jim Carrey ever being allowed on stage.
	This was something new.
	Indeed, he was back, and it was weird because he only got to intro a movie about family.
	There was a bunch of those.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Guy comes out, he says, hey, everybody, there's a bunch of movies.
	I think they were going for full-on celebrity power regardless, just whoever we can get, throw them on stage.
	So Kerry did a really good Bruce Dern imitation, and that was it.
	Yeah.
	But I thought that he...
	Well, I don't need a whole review of...
	I don't need a whole review of the Oscars.
	Let me just say a couple of things I noted.
	Okay.
	Kim Novak.
	Oh, my goodness.
	Oh, man.
	I don't know.
	People should look her up and see what a beautiful woman she was and what plastic surgery can do to you.
	Now, she was in Vertigo, was it?
	Hitchcock's Vertigo, I think?
	She was in a whole slew of movies.
	But she was like one of the most beautiful women in the world.
	And now she looks like a Muppet.
	Yeah, all right.
	I think that Versace, Donatello Versace, has the same plastic surface.
	All right, all right.
	Enough with the mainstream jokes.
	Come on, move on to something.
	It's not a joke.
	I mean, it's horrible.
	I know, but everyone's talking about this.
	Tell me something.
	I don't pay attention.
	Look, you sent out a really good newsletter, which was all about the obvious native advertising in the Oscars.
	Yeah, I found it disgusting, and then I found disgusting all the coverage of it, which was worse.
	Which is, in itself, native advertising.
	Except I don't know whether they're paid or not.
	And this is a really big problem.
	If you don't know what we're talking about, I'm sure you noted, and it wasn't just the so-called selfie.
	Ellen was using the Samsung Galaxy, I don't know what it was, a Note, I guess?
	Three or something.
	And I think from the research I got, Samsung paid about $20 million for the whole package, including the ads and the integration into the programming.
	Right, this is the latest thing they're doing.
	They're buying ads to make it, you know, it actually makes it worse.
	It makes it more obvious, doesn't it?
	I know, they don't get it.
	I mean, in the olden days, when they had a church and state thing, which I talk a little bit about in the newsletter.
	You used to be in a magazine, and they didn't let you talk to the advertising guys, and if the advertising guys showed up with some idea, you had to be thrown out.
	And the idea was always the same, was can you write about these guys?
	But you would write feature stories coincidentally about something, and then not all the time, but once in a while, because the...
	Because the wells for the advertising was never known by editorial.
	Occasionally, it was very rare, but it did happen.
	It had been enough that you'd get a lot of letters on it, and the public groused.
	Occasionally, you'd write an article about HP, and an HP ad would coincidentally show up in the order.
	Yeah, I'm sure the sales guys had nothing to do with that.
	No, they didn't.
	Uh-huh.
	Well, I mean, if they did, they're pretty cool.
	Well, let me interject.
	Let me finish this.
	Because the public would be outraged.
	Outraged.
	There is no outrage.
	No.
	Zero outrage.
	In fact, everyone loved it.
	Yeah.
	Everyone was, oh, this is great.
	Look at this picture.
	It's awesome.
	It's retweeted.
	This is really nothing new.
	In 1981, I'm sorry, May was 1990.
	The summer of 1990, MTV had a problem.
	They needed to get Budweiser to advertise on the network.
	I think I've told this story before.
	No.
	And they couldn't figure out how to get Budweiser, and they asked me to help them pitch an idea.
	And the idea was, instead of creating some programming that Budweiser would want to sponsor, they went to where Budweiser was already naturally, and that was Spring Break.
	And that is the entire reason for the creation of Spring Break on MTV. Now, that is not native advertising per se.
	That's more product placement.
	However, if you go back to those early days, and I had to do some of this.
	I think it was South Padre Island, I think.
	Funny, I live in Texas now.
	Do you remember Spuds McKenzie, that fucking dog?
	The Bull Terrier.
	Yes, we had to do the Top 20 Countdown with Spuds next to me.
	I don't want to get off the topic, but I do have to just throw a quick anecdote in.
	I'm getting off the freeway in San Francisco, and there's a homeless guy with a sign.
	I was going to stop, but it was a green light.
	I had to drive.
	He had one of these kinds of dogs with the perfect black round around one eye.
	Exactly.
	The dog, if this homeless guy would go to a modeling agency, he'd make more money than he would make.
	They're standing up by the highway.
	Anyway, go on.
	So this is not new, but for MTV at the time, cable, no one knew what to do, and it was kind of innovative.
	At the time, and then that kind of slipped away.
	But product placement is a huge business already.
	You see cars showing up.
	The Apple computer in most sitcoms and cop shows.
	Well, from what I understand, until recently, after Steve died, Apple was not paying for that.
	Most of the Apple products you would see on programming before Steve Jobs died was never paid for.
	I find that hard to believe since they had a department.
	They had a department that would give Celebrities Apple computers.
	I got one, but actually they asked for it back after a while, like six years, an Apple II, and I gave it back.
	Silly me.
	That's dumb.
	For inventory reasons.
	What was that guy's name?
	Jim...
	Oh, Daniel Paul.
	That was his name.
	Daniel Paul.
	I'm sure he's not at Apple anymore, but that was his entire gig was to give Celebrities Apple computers.
	Loan them to them.
	Anyway, but now it's really become a part of the programming itself, and it's being dictated by the advertisers.
	And that's where it moves into this new phase.
	And you just don't know anymore if this coverage is real or if it's just coincidental.
	So, for instance, on our show, we'll talk about products that we like.
	And it's not advertising, it's information.
	It's no different from us playing a clip from somewhere and telling you what our opinion is or deconstructing something.
	Right.
	Because you know that we're not getting paid.
	Because if we were getting paid, believe me, we wouldn't be doing this stupid podcast.
	And I'd have a nice car.
	Yeah, we have to buy used cars.
	Although, now looking back, that's probably the best thing to do anyway.
	Yeah, but note, I have to buy them because I can't even get a car loan.
	It's all cash.
	We can't lease this to you.
	Must be a rich drug dealer.
	Exactly.
	This was to be expected.
	I thought it was pretty funny.
	I thought it was interesting to watch how it came together.
	And of course, by now, people have probably read the backstage pictures that Ellen was tweeting of her and Brad Pitt.
	Of course, they show up on the tweeters as, you know, sent from my iPhone, which, you know, someone's going to get a memo about that.
	Oops.
	Yeah.
	I forgot that part.
	Yeah.
	You're right.
	That's hilarious.
	Oops.
	Yeah.
	We don't talk about that anymore.
	Quiet.
	Well, then, supposedly, in one article, they had to actually train her.
	How to use it?
	Yeah.
	How to use it?
	To use it, even though it seems to me that...
	I think the problem with training her how to use it is actually a problem for Apple, who was suing Samsung over look and feel.
	Because it's apparently not even close to being the same product.
	It's very complicated.
	There's a thing you push.
	Yeah.
	I noticed two other things that I would want to bring up, because we know the native advertising stuff is completely bogative, and what makes it worse online is that publications, the New York Times, the LA Times, Mashable, Forbes, BuzzFeed, Huffington, the New York Times and Forbes, let's just take those two by themselves.
	They're actually allowing, and this is the part that's egregious, allowing the advertisers themselves to hire their own people.
	Maybe they get them from some pool of talent that is publication approved, and then they create an article, and then they get to have access right into their content management system and post it.
	I think the only thing that happens is you create the article, you post it, and then a bill shows up.
	It's that simple.
	And of course, it's disclaimed as, sometimes it'll say sponsored content, sometimes it'll say something like, Hat tip to our sponsors.
	Hat tip to Samsung.
	It's becoming very opaque.
	They would like to get rid of that part, too.
	Do you know that in Europe, certainly in the Netherlands, I know Germany, it may be an EU-wide advertising law.
	I'm not quite sure.
	Certainly on the radio, you have to have an identifiable, well, we call it a pingle, but some kind of music hit.
	That's identifiable as advertising when advertising is being played, before and after the ad.
	So you can do...
	Let me see if I can do an example.
	So I could...
	Let's pretend we're on the radio here and now we're in the Netherlands.
	Of course, we're speaking Dutch, but people can hear it as if we're speaking English.
	This is through our translation machine.
	And it's time for...
	A delicious Coca-Cola.
	John, would you like one?
	Doesn't that taste really good?
	Adam, you know, I was just thinking the same thing.
	See, now that would be kind of fair, because now you heard the ID thing.
	You know that it was an ad.
	You may get used to it over time, but at least we've identified it was an advertisement.
	Maybe something like that would be necessary.
	Well, they used to be, in the olden days, there used to be a thing across the top that said advertisement.
	Yeah.
	If it was this sort of content.
	And in fact, magazines and newspapers like the New York Times that were high-end, they wouldn't even take that.
	Even though the rules were simple, generally speaking, it was this.
	It had to clearly say it was an advertisement across the top.
	It didn't have to be big, giant letters.
	You just had to say it across the top.
	There's like a line that says advertisement, a line.
	And then the typeface and layout had to be slightly different.
	Slightly different, yeah.
	You had to either have a different font or you had to have a different layout.
	You couldn't use the same exact font and layout of the newspaper or the magazine.
	Right, right, right, right.
	Well, that's gone, that part.
	Yeah.
	That's okay.
	It's exactly the same.
	Somebody came along a bean counter and says, why do we have these restrictions?
	There's no law.
	This is ridiculous.
	This is costing us money.
	Well, it doesn't matter because people will either really love it or they'll come over and listen to what we have to say from time to time because it's going to get annoying to people who are awake.
	We have sponsored content sponsored by the listeners.
	Yes.
	And they don't care what we say as long as it's interesting to them.
	I know you tried.
	I did.
	Now, here's the two things I noticed.
	Matthew McConaughey.
	He wins the Oscar for Best Actor.
	And everyone's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And all of a sudden he says, I'd like to thank God.
	And everyone's like, what?
	Oh no!
	We forgot he's from Texas!
	Oh no!
	Oh, he might be a Republican!
	It went to a slow clap all of a sudden.
	Yeah, it was like, oh my god, we screwed up with this guy.
	What?
	Science!
	Science!
	No, you can't have God.
	Now, I think he is referring to a universal power more.
	That's what my feeling, I don't know him personally.
	But it doesn't even matter.
	I thought it was the funniest thing ever.
	Everyone was in shock.
	Oh, crap.
	We got some crazy religious Republican on stage.
	Get off our stage, you!
	I thought it was...
	He's from Austin.
	Yeah, I heard that.
	Go over to his place and check in and say hi.
	I don't think he has a place here anymore.
	Oh, he's from there.
	He's from here, yeah.
	I found that to be so wonderful to see that happen.
	You could just see people, oh man.
	And he kept coming back to it.
	Yeah, God.
	Cue the music!
	Get him off the stage.
	Get him off the stage.
	You know what bothers me about the Oscars more than anything is that the early awards at the very beginning for the crappiest things that nobody cares about, best makeup, the person comes out and they're allowed to blab as long as they want.
	Yeah, and then they start to lose time, and then by the time you get to the good awards, the one you care about, people have to get 46 seconds, and you've got to hurry up.
	Yeah, they're rushing them off the stage.
	In fact, I missed the last couple of awards because the DVR ran out of time.
	Oh, really?
	It doesn't automatically adjust if it goes over time?
	Sometimes it does.
	It depends on the signal that it gets from the station.
	There's a bunch of codes and flags and all this stuff that comes over, but when there's no way of telling it to keep going, it just stops.
	Now here's the thing that I was very worried about, and I think we're already seeing the results of this telecast.
	Those of you who follow my thinking will probably notice that immediately that we had a huge event taking place during this particular Oscars telecast, which I find to be disconcerting.
	We had an activation of perhaps hundreds, thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of MKUltra patients the minute Pink came on stage.
	Now, in case you didn't know, the MKUltra, a real mind control program from the U.S. government, has as one of its activation methods the Wizard of Oz, specifically the song has as one of its activation methods the Wizard of Oz, specifically the song Yeah.
	That's funny.
	And you can look this up and you'll see it.
	It's the monarch program specifically of MKUltra.
	So also big monarch butterflies are often used in association.
	Both of these, by the way, showed up with the Sandy Hook kids when they dropped by the ABC studios.
	Singing this song makes me feel like she's with me and she's beside me singing along with me.
	Somewhere over the rainbow I think that what we saw with people like Abby Martin and the wall chick, I think that might have been activation from the Rainbow song on the Oscars.
	Everyone went nutty.
	It's possible.
	I'm not going to go there because I think it's kind of crazy, but Abby Martin and Liz Wall quitting within 24 hours or 48 hours of each other.
	Abby never quit.
	She didn't quit, no.
	She's made a fuss and she should be fired.
	Putin!
	That's the one you wanted, right?
	It's there.
	I thought it was pretty good.
	Putin!
	Putin!
	I think it's perfect.
	John Fletcher, thank you.
	The Liz Wall thing was like, okay.
	This is just plain weird.
	For one thing, the RT was not really doing much in the way of covering the situation in Ukraine.
	I'll tell you what, why don't we step back.
	Not everybody who listens to this show has heard everything.
	Why don't we start briefly with Abby Martin and just play her little bit.
	I found this to be hilarious, by the way.
	This huff and rant that all of a sudden got all this attention.
	She's so into it.
	And by the way, this happens at the exact same moment President Obama presented his budget, which I think is convenient or coincidental at best.
	Like, hey, yeah, here's my budget.
	Oh, look at Abby Martin!
	That was Jeffrey Summers, associate professor of political economy at the University of Wisconsin.
	Before we wrap up the show, I wanted to say something from my heart about the ongoing political...
	I want to say it from my heart.
	It's really from the prompter, but it's from my heart.
	She was reading it from the prompter.
	I know she was.
	was.
	No doubt about this from my heart.
	...risis in Ukraine and Russia's military occupation of Crimea.
	Just because I work here for RT doesn't mean I don't have editorial independence.
	And I can't stress enough how strongly I am against any state intervention in a sovereign nation's affairs.
	What does that even mean, how strongly I am?
	Does she mean to say how strongly against I am or I am against?
	No, she messed it up.
	She misread the prompter.
	Before we wrap up the show, I wanted to say something from my heart about the ongoing political crisis in Ukraine and Russia's military occupation of Crimea.
	Just because I work here for RT doesn't mean I don't have editorial independence.
	And I can't stress enough how strongly I am against any state intervention in a sovereign nation's affairs.
	How strongly I am against...
	How strongly I feel...
	She's reading from the prompter.
	How strongly I am...
	Right, yeah, yeah.
	Against.
	What Russia did is wrong.
	I admittedly don't know as much as I should about Ukraine.
	What did they do?
	I don't know.
	What did she say?
	She doesn't know anything.
	Hey, Adam?
	Yes?
	What Russia did is wrong.
	I don't know anything about it.
	Correct.
	You are awesome.
	Yeah, speaking truth to power, John!
	About time I did that.
	History of the cultural dynamics.
	Truth to power.
	Hey, hey, hey.
	Truth to power, people.
	But what I do know is that military intervention...
	I don't know much about nothing, but what I do know...
	...is never the answer, and I will not sit here and apologize or defend military aggression.
	Furthermore, the coverage I have seen of Ukraine has been truly disappointing from all sides of the media spectrum and rife with disinformation.
	Above all, my heart...
	Rife with disinformation.
	It's rife.
	It's rife.
	Rife, rife, rife.
	Who talks like that from the heart?
	I don't talk like that from the heart.
	It's rough.
	What disinformation are we talking about?
	It's all disinformation.
	Well, that is true.
	...out to the Ukrainian people who are now...
	What's new?
	...the Ukraine...
	...in the middle of a global power chess game.
	They're the real losers here.
	All we can do now is hope for a peaceful outcome, for a terrible situation...
	Terrible!
	...an another full-blown cold war between multiple superpowers.
	So, when this happens like this, and I've thought quite a bit, and I have a bigger problem with Miss Liz Wall...
	Apparently her only other gig was at CNN, and I guess she was a producer.
	She's a kid.
	She just graduated from college.
	In Virginia, I might add.
	She went to some Virginia school.
	That's why I said MKUltra.
	Why else are these chicks doing this?
	Oh, I have to talk from the heart.
	I'm speaking truth to power.
	First of all, who do they think they are?
	They're talking heads on a small, very kind of a minimal operation.
	They are the disinformation.
	That's what's obvious.
	Yeah.
	Because who gives a crap?
	I was kind of impressed.
	Well, I was very impressed.
	Oh, the Twitters went crazy.
	Oh, good for you, Abby!
	Yeah, speaking truth to power!
	Now, let's do the Liz Wall thing.
	I thought that was much more interesting.
	Mainly because of what happened after her little spiel.
	Last night our team made international headlines and one of our anchors went on the record and said Russian intervention in Crimea is wrong.
	She didn't actually say that, but listen to this girl's speech patterns.
	Very interesting.
	And she's listed as a producer.
	Have you ever seen her on air ever?
	Yeah, no, I see her all the time.
	Oh, okay.
	She's the main anchor.
	Oh, okay.
	And by the way, the new one that took over, a complete goofball.
	She's like, no good.
	And indeed, as a reporter on this network, I face many ethical and moral challenges, especially me personally, coming from a family.
	Listen, if you're working at this outfit, this RT outfit, which has a studio in D.C., they might have a Skype booth in New York.
	And a lot of producers in Moscow.
	And someone comes along and says, hey, what are you making of that outfit?
	And believe me, if these girls are making more than $100,000 a year for doing this...
	What?
	Are you nuts?
	You're not even getting close to that.
	I think they're making $100,000.
	No.
	You think they're making less than $100,000?
	Yeah.
	Alright, so all you have to do is come along and say, listen...
	I got you.
	Listen, girl.
	MSNBC, or this is going to be something good.
	Maybe this girl can go back to CNN where she came from.
	That's not hard to get.
	First of all, it's true, obviously.
	We know RT is a propaganda.
	But for this all of a sudden to happen?
	How would you go to RT in the first place if you didn't know you were taking part in a propagandistic operation?
	Yeah, and I think Abby should resign.
	She didn't get the right deal, you see.
	She didn't get a deal.
	Oh, Abby, I'm sure she's getting nothing.
	She got no deal.
	She didn't...
	She did it all wrong.
	This girl did it right.
	Whose grandparents...
	My grandparents came here as refugees during the Hungarian Revolution, ironically, to escape...
	The Soviet forces.
	I have family on the opposite side.
	On my mother's side, that sees the daily grind of poverty.
	And I'm very lucky to have grown up here in the United States.
	I'm the daughter of a veteran.
	My partner At this point, I'm like, oh, at least she's a lesbian.
	That's kind of hot.
	At a military base where he sees every day the first-hand accounts of the ultimate prices that people pay.
	What does this have to do with anything?
	I really didn't understand this part about my partner is the doctor and sees the ultimate...
	So you see dead people?
	Is that the ultimate price?
	Hey, you know, I was kind of befuddled by this myself.
	I think she was trying to, and I hate to use this term in this manner with her, trying to paint a picture.
	Ah.
	That she lives, that there's a life that, you know, she's part of a bigger thing.
	And these things go on.
	And she's trying to, you know, give you the sense that there's a rationale for what she's about to do.
	For this country.
	And that is why, personally, I cannot be part of a network funded by the Russian government that whitewashes the actions of Putin.
	Putin!
	I love that!
	That's so sexy!
	She says Putin!
	Putin!
	I can't even say that.
	He whitewashes the actions of Putin.
	Putin.
	He's Putin.
	No, she says poo-in.
	No, she says poo-in like kit-tin.
	No, she does not pronounce the T. She says poo-in like pooping.
	No, just play it again and listen for the T. It's poo-in.
	Poo-in.
	That whitewashes the actions of poo-in.
	Poo-in.
	Yeah, yeah, it's poo-in.
	Poo-in.
	He's poo-in.
	Poo-in.
	Poo-in.
	I'm proud to be an American and believe in disseminating the truth.
	And that is why, after this newscast, I'm resigning.
	Speaking truth to power!
	Outstanding.
	Okay, so here's where it all fell apart for me.
	So this part of my, okay, I get it.
	But then the first interview she does is with Anderson Pooper.
	Now, Pooper is in Crimea.
	Now, you know that when something's set up, Pooper is on the scene.
	We've got boots on the Pooper on the ground.
	Do you remember it was Tahrir Square the first time around?
	He's always there.
	No, he's always there when it's an operation.
	He's in a storm.
	When it's an operation.
	He's in Haiti.
	He's in Haiti.
	Yeah, but only when it's an op.
	He didn't go to Tahrir Square the second or the third time.
	He wasn't on the Euromaidan.
	No, no.
	But he was nowhere to be found.
	He's not in the protests in France, in Spain.
	He's worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in assets for CNN. Well, maybe even tens of thousands of dollars.
	Nice.
	So then he gets Liz Wall on.
	Now, here's the thing that bothered me.
	It's a split screen.
	And she's wearing the same outfit that she quit in.
	And the background, the green screen, it's the same shot.
	It has the RT background still rotating.
	This confused me very much.
	I'm still not sure.
	Oh, that's interesting.
	I'm still not sure why.
	Are you telling me she quits on the air and RT says, Yeah, you can use our studio to do an interview with Pooper?
	No problem.
	Eh, just keep those clothes on.
	Don't move.
	The lighting's perfect.
	So that is like, what?
	How can that?
	That makes no sense.
	She either had to do it before she quit.
	Yeah, but it was on the RT set, so they would have known.
	There's no way.
	This was not a Skype interview.
	She was in the studio with the RT background.
	The whole thing's a fake.
	Yes, of course it's a fake.
	So here's parts of this interview.
	Here she is with Pooper talking about the Putin perspective.
	And what's clear is what's happening right now amid this crisis is that RT is not about the truth.
	It's about promoting a Putinist agenda.
	A Putinist.
	A Putinist.
	A Putinistic agenda.
	This girl is...
	I think she's a presidential model in the MKUltra program.
	Because she has a little speech thingy going on.
	Putinist.
	Putinist agenda.
	MT is not about the truth.
	It's about promoting a Putinist agenda.
	And I can tell you firsthand, it's also about bashing America.
	And I kind of cited some of my background, where I came from, and why I am proud to be an American.
	She's a Filipino...
	It's like a whole mix of stuff.
	She looks more Filipino than anything.
	She's the multicultural girl of the future.
	In recent days, I've been suffering from a lot of cognitive dissonance.
	Cognitive dis...
	Suffering from cognitive dissonance.
	Interesting.
	And felt that I could no longer work here and go on television and tell the American people that this is what's happening and have it posed as news.
	It's just...
	Something, I don't know.
	This is Wag the Dog, John.
	I think this is so much bigger than we realize.
	And the giveaway was her in the same clothes, on the same set, with the same lighting, doing this interview with Anderson Cooper.
	That's a good catch.
	It's Wag the Dog.
	The whole thing is a setup.
	Yeah, Liz, I just wanted to ask, what is...
	Oh, this is funny.
	Now they bring in, who's also there with Cooper in Crimea.
	What's the girl's, the woman's name?
	She's the...
	Oh, the short blonde hair.
	She's some expert in something.
	Liz, I just want to ask...
	I forgot.
	Anyway, listen to this.
	This is where the MKUltra presidential model starts to speak and answer questions.
	What is happening right now with you?
	Have there been repercussions?
	And how is RT going to explain this?
	Because there was a previous woman who...
	Previous woman.
	...said some things about the conflict.
	Abby Martin.
	Abby Martin.
	Yes, thank you, Anderson, for prompting me.
	I'd forgotten.
	And RT said, look, all our anchors can express their views freely.
	Have you had any reaction from the management?
	Well, seeing as I'm sitting in the same set with the same background, the same lighting, and same outfit, no!
	Everything's peachy keen!
	Well, it's all happening very quickly.
	This happened just a couple hours ago.
	I haven't seen the official response.
	I kind of saw on Twitter before I went on today that they said that I'm doing this for personal gain, which couldn't be farther from the truth.
	I actually hesitated to speak on this for a while for fear of repercussion.
	What?
	They're going to beat you up?
	What does that mean?
	I was afraid of repercussions.
	I was afraid.
	So I don't know how they intend to retaliate against me or what actions are going to be taken against me.
	I can say that it's comforting that on social media I've gotten an explosive response, really, really encouraging.
	She can't say her T's.
	That's why they had to get rid of her.
	It was R-E. No, it's R-T. Welcome to R-E. No, it's R-T. The T. T. Welcome to R.E. No, it's T. She can't say T. I want a kitten.
	A kitten.
	Putin.
	Putin.
	People appreciating me coming forward with this, so that's been comforting for me.
	Social media was so comforting.
	If that's not an MKUltra, then I don't know what is.
	I was so comforted.
	All my Twitter and Facebook friends all liked me for doing this.
	I feel so comforted.
	So comforted by this.
	And now she's going to explain the sitch on the ground there.
	Americans who work there, and RT kind of bills itself as questioning authority, which is clearly their marketing strategy.
	Oh, yes, okay.
	Management, are they Russian?
	Management is Russian, yes.
	Middle management, they are American, and their role is to make sure, it's kind of part of that censorship role, to make sure we're in line, to make sure ultimately the narrative that the Russian, you know, the guys calling the shots ultimately were based in Moscow.
	Yeah, this doesn't happen on ABC. Food time!
	The Russian government, they kind of make sure that the narrative is delivered.
	The narrative is delivered.
	Wow, really?
	This is a big surprise!
	Is delivered.
	In one way or another.
	Somewhere over the rainbow...
	I found the whole thing to be disturbing, and it is clearly a setup.
	It is so obvious.
	You're in the CNN studio, maybe.
	You've got your jeans on.
	She still has the red dress on.
	So this is Wag the Dog.
	I think you caught something.
	This is Wag the Dog.
	It's Wag the Dog.
	And it was within a couple hours she even admitted that.
	Yes.
	It wasn't as though...
	So here you go.
	You're on...
	Nobody's watching this network, by the way.
	Except us.
	Except us.
	We're watching and a bunch of 9-11 truthers.
	Yeah, there's a bunch of people that watch, but they're like us.
	And even our listeners wouldn't watch this stuff.
	No, it's unwatchable, most of it.
	It's unwatchable.
	You've got a bunch of experts on Skype for 15 minutes for a segment.
	So she quits, and then within a couple of hours, she said right there, just quit a couple hours ago, she's on CNN. You know the booking process for these shows?
	Yeah, once in a while you get a guy, hey, we've got breaking news and we'd like to get you on the next segment.
	Are you available?
	Sometimes that does happen.
	But I don't know that anyone has her phone number.
	They didn't need it.
	They had to call his studio.
	I think it's the same studio.
	Could it be possible that RT is shot out of CNN Studios by any chance?
	It would have looked like it.
	Whatever the case is, this was rigged.
	Actually, this is the first clip in the segment.
	I don't know why I moved it to the fifth.
	There must be a reason.
	Today, for example, I had an interview with Ron Paul.
	Oh yeah, this is good.
	Now she's going to talk about why she did it and how the truth is censored.
	By the way, Ron Paul's on Archie constantly.
	Yeah.
	The only question that I asked, or I asked many questions, I asked about the Russian intervention.
	You know, he has a very anti-intervention approach.
	I asked him in the wake of escalation by the Russian military, how long, you know, how should we respond to this?
	How should the U.S. respond to this?
	Sounds like you asked a really dumb question, long and drawn out, that made no sense.
	That question was cut out of the interview.
	Oh no!
	There was another segment today.
	It was...
	She's looking through her notes right now.
	She's shuffling through the notes on her desk at the RT set.
	A news package from one of our correspondents that painted the opposition over there in the Ukraine as...
	Now she's even saying the Ukraine.
	She's so flustered.
	She forgot to say Ukraine.
	Yeah.
	Having neo-Nazi elements, and I think that's very dangerous when you have a new government instability over there, and I'm sure that there are, in fact, neo-Nazi elements, but to portray the entire opposition as being part of this right-wing extremist group is going along with the narrative that Vladimir Putin wants to go along with.
	Now, this is very important, and I love when this happens.
	And I thank God, I really do, and I thank my wife.
	I'm not sure who's more powerful that I have the opportunity to spend days on end watching all this crap and then God allows these things to connect in my head.
	She just said, "Alright, alright, alright." Screw it.
	Alright, alright, alright.
	What she just said is it's very dangerous to call the opposition neo-Nazis and anti-Semites.
	She made a big deal about this being a very huge problem that this is being broadcast.
	Funny enough, I'm watching Brolf and Christiana Amanpour, who is completely all in on whatever program she's being paid for, with some other douche knuckle, and the following happens.
	An excellent conversation, Professor Cohen.
	Christiana Amanpour, thanks very much.
	And on that last point, you heard Vitaly Churkin, the Russian ambassador to the UN Security Council, saying earlier today that at fault for all of this are what he called fascists and anti-Semites in Ukraine right now.
	Activate!
	You've got to be really careful putting that across as a fact.
	That's what Vitaly Cherkin...
	He may have done, but that is the Russian position.
	He may have done, but are you telling me, are you saying that the entire pro-European Ukrainians are anti-Semites?
	Let me tell you, there's a couple things you do and you don't do in the business.
	I don't care who you are.
	You do not argue with Brolf, first of all.
	You just don't.
	Why would you?
	Yeah, and he's in the middle box.
	You're right.
	She was activated.
	She was activated to say the same thing.
	The message is clear.
	The message is, the opposition are not anti-Semites and radicals.
	They are not neo-Nazis.
	Please let all the public know you must tell them.
	Some way.
	That is what the Russians are saying.
	That's what the Russians are saying.
	He's making a big deal about it.
	And I was just pointing out that a Russian official at the United Nations today said, who's responsible for all of this?
	Fascists and anti-Semites in Ukraine.
	Am I saying that?
	No, I'm not.
	Now, he's going to try and explain the news business to us.
	This is really, this is insane.
	This is what this says to me.
	Is that it's apparently a bunch of Nazis and fascists and anti-Semites...
	Yes!
	...that have taken over the place.
	Yes!
	Because why else would you make such a fuss about all this?
	Well, witness the call between the high-representative no-chin-monster-habbing Baroness Ashton and the Estonian foreign minister, Pate.
	I got this whole call, but I'll jump right to the goodies here.
	By the way, this call, which somehow was released through Tradecraft, I have to say, I love it because this time, they didn't just have the call, they ISO'd it.
	They have left and right channels!
	So they've got Ashton on the left channel.
	Oh, that's sweet.
	It's beautiful.
	That's Tradecraft right there, ladies and gentlemen.
	They even ISO'd it for us.
	So we could have our own conversation.
	We could put our own questions in if we wanted.
	But here's the relevant passage.
	And civil society.
	And second, what was quite disturbing, the same Olga told that, well, all evidence shows that people who were killed by snipers from both sides among policemen and people from the streets, that they were the same snipers killing people from both sides.
	Well, that's, yeah.
	Well, that's, yeah, yeah, we know, yeah, that's, if you could understand it, what he said is people are now figuring out that the new opposition had snipers killing people on both sides.
	Yeah, they tried to start a riot.
	Yeah.
	You shoot a cop, then you shoot one of the good guys.
	Well, they shot all the Berkut, which is the riot police, in the head, like sniper shots in the head.
	These guys just went down like little tin soldiers.
	And here's Baron Ashton going, yeah, well, yeah, yeah, well, what?
	Well, they then chose the people who were killed by snipers from both sides, among policemen and people from the streets.
	That they were the same snipers killing people from both sides.
	And then she also showed me some photos.
	She said that as a medical doctor, she can say that it is the same handwriting, the same type of bullets.
	And it's really disturbing that now the new coalition that they don't want to investigate So, besides Obama's sorry-ass budget being sent to Congress, I think that this call needed to be covered up and we needed to shout very loudly, whatever you hear, there's no neo-Nazis, no snipers, no killing, no targeted, no wag the dog, no nothing, no nothing, no nothing!
	Because this is not getting a lot of play.
	This is certainly not getting the kind of FTEU play that Noodleman got.
	Well, especially if you go to ABC and some of these networks that have essentially...
	I have a package of three pieces from ABC, which is their coverage, with your friend.
	I think she was sober.
	Oh, Diane, do we need to play the jingle just in case?
	Well, sure.
	And then which is it, the ABC? This is Laughable Ukraine Rundown and Rundown Part 2 and 3.
	Okay, I will put this on.
	With the lament.
	My favorite one is Part 3.
	You're going to just die.
	Would you want to play 3 first?
	No, no, no.
	It's just how she builds.
	In order.
	Drunk again.
	Drink the sand, die of the drunk again.
	Ukraine, Crimea, and an international tug of war.
	ABC's Monica Radetz is traveling with the Secretary of State and she is standing by.
	And ABC's chief foreign correspondent Terry Moran is also on the story tonight, starting us off with the latest on that crisis in Ukraine.
	At Belbeck Air Base here this morning, Ukrainian troops, unarmed, marched toward the Russian guns.
	And as they marched, they sang their national anthem.
	Okay, stop for a second.
	So they're going to lead off this piece, which is long, and I actually cut some of it out, but they lead off this piece showing the Russians have, according to, I didn't know this, there's another report that discusses it, the Russians, by Ukrainian law, are allowed to have 11,000 soldiers on.
	Oh, no, I thought it was 25,000.
	I thought it was 11,000.
	Or maybe it was 25,000, but they're going to try to limit to 11,000, but there's lots.
	And those are the guys that supposedly invaded, even though they're already there.
	And so they have this scene, which I swear to you, with all the sounds in the back and these guys singing, a bunch of drunken Ukrainians with no weapons marching in like a squad coming down, and they're going to confront the Russians who just drive them off with a few shots to the air.
	And the way they present this is that the way ABC presents this, this is a show of the great...
	Ukraine people, and their heads held high, and they showed the Russians, and it's idiotic.
	It's idiotic at play.
	Confronting the Russians who had seized control of their base.
	Forward under the Ukrainian flag they came.
	The Russians yelled, then fired.
	Warning shots, but the first shots fired here, then negotiations, and the Ukrainians withdrew.
	Heads held high.
	It was a day of high tension.
	Russia test-launching an ICBM like this one.
	A scheduled launch, but still a statement.
	Mr.
	Kerry, welcome to Ukraine.
	Nice to see you.
	And in Kiev, the Ukrainian capital, 500 miles away, Secretary of State Kerry walked the streets where scores of Ukrainians died in protests last month, then praised their revolution.
	What they stood for so bravely.
	I say with full conviction, we'll never be stolen by bullets or by invasions.
	It is called freedom.
	You know, we gave the Oscar to the wrong guy.
	This guy.
	This guy.
	There's gunshots in the back.
	And by the way, they show the missile and they say, an ICBM launch like this one.
	Yeah.
	Did it say file footage?
	No, I bet it did not.
	I'm going to jump right back to your clip.
	Andrea Mitchell.
	And this is all elitist.
	These people are all actors.
	They're all put in this game.
	If you have not seen Wag the Dog, you need to see it.
	And we need to find out who's producing this one.
	So Andrea Mitchell, she apparently turns up in Kiev.
	And even though she's a multi-millionaire married to Ben Bernanke, she's there to play along the script.
	She's not married to Bernanke, she's married to...
	I'm sorry, she's Greenspan.
	Yeah.
	Better.
	Better.
	Better, I'm sorry, Greenspan.
	Yes.
	I mean, if the guy's even alive.
	And she literally has the script and carries making faces just like his acting coach taught him.
	Thank you very much, Mr.
	Secretary.
	U.S. officials have been saying that Vladimir Putin will be isolated by his actions, yet today he seemed defiant.
	Speaking for an hour, taking questions, he said, among other things, that Russia reserves the right to take any action to use any means, obviously military means.
	He described events here as an unconstitutional coup.
	He denied that there were any Russian troops in Crimea, occupying Crimea.
	He blamed the crisis on United States interference, saying that the U.S. He really denied there were troops in Crimea?
	What?
	He really doesn't say that?
	The news conference, what, Kerry didn't get a briefing about what he said?
	Even I got a briefing from Russian producers of this program.
	He said, yeah, this is a fair translation of what he said.
	And Kerry's surprised by this?
	No.
	No.
	This is scene 35, key press conference fade in from black.
	Yes, he did.
	He also blamed the crisis on the United States.
	Lurch.
	All right.
	My favorite, by the way, since we're going to do it, this is a shaggy dog.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I got an end to this, by the way.
	John Kerry, another ironic comment.
	I think this is the best.
	It is not appropriate to invade a country and at the end of a barrel of a gun dictate what you are trying to achieve.
	Hold on a second.
	It's this one.
	You just don't invade another country on phony pretext in order to assert your interests.
	Well, but there are ways...
	Unless you're America and you're doing it for Iraq or Iran or something like that.
	So the script is playing out over multiple channels.
	The same thing over and over again.
	It's dynamite.
	I have to say, it's a big one.
	And by the way, this is being run by the State Department.
	I did a little research on Noodleman.
	I'm sorry, Victoria Nuland.
	And so Victoria Noodleman is a real name.
	She changed it to Newland.
	And, of course, we understand.
	I mean, who wants to be laughed at?
	Who wants to be Noodleman?
	Who wants to be Noodleman?
	No offense to the one Noodleman that listens to the show.
	She, of course, famously was at the Maidan handing out cookies or pretzels or whatever she was handing out.
	Then, of course, we had the phone call.
	We had the phone call.
	She was handing out per diems.
	Per diems.
	Who's an extra?
	Are you SAG eligible?
	Oh, that's too bad.
	Well, you can still get a per diem.
	Now, she is married to Robert Kagan.
	Robert Kagan, one of the co-founders of the project for the new American century.
	These are the guys who said we need a new Pearl Harbor, and then 9-11 happened.
	And these are the guys who talked about all these countries who need to go in and destabilize.
	What's interesting, which I did...
	Rubbleize.
	Rubbleize.
	Is his brother is Frederick Kagan.
	This is the guy.
	This is the guy.
	He has a PhD in Russian and Soviet military history.
	Of course, both these boys are from Yale.
	Of course, they're skull and bones, just like Kerry.
	Their father, Donald Kagan, professor at Yale, fellow at the Hudson Institute.
	He authored the Real Iraq Study Group, consulted for Baker, wrote the Choosing Victory, A Plan for Success in Iraq.
	He influenced George W. Bush.
	These are the neocons.
	He consulted for Robert Gates, Petraeus.
	These are the guys.
	And their henchmen, Noodleman, went out and started doing the business.
	The neocons have taken over the State Department.
	And as witnessed, I think this was a complete surprise that we discussed in the last show to the president, who was like, what?
	He's always in a chair sitting down answering random questions.
	He has a whole different agenda.
	What the hell?
	Oh, yeah, well, I don't know.
	He has a complete...
	In fact, it's making him look really stupid.
	Governor Romney, I'm glad that you recognize that al-Qaeda is a threat.
	Because a few months ago, when you were asked what's the biggest geopolitical threat facing America, you said Russia.
	Not al-Qaeda.
	You said Russia.
	And the 1980s are now calling to ask for their foreign policy back.
	Ho, ho, ho.
	So it's making him look stupid because he wasn't prepared for Russia.
	But he's also, he's like a bit player.
	He's got no parts.
	He's got no, he's got no lines.
	Right, they never got a script for him.
	I'm sorry, Mr.
	President, we left you on the cutting room floor.
	No, but not even.
	It wasn't even cast.
	Yes, it was barely cast.
	It was not his episode.
	It was my, Get my agent on the phone.
	I'm being screwed on this deal.
	All right, back to the laughable rundown part two.
	All right, here we go.
	In Moscow, Vladimir Putin offered a different version, a different reality, in an extraordinary appearance.
	The new Ukrainian government?
	Illegitimate, he said.
	U.S. support for it was like running experiments on rats.
	And the U.S., he said, must stop encouraging what he called illegal change in the territory of the former Soviet Union.
	The Soviet Union shaped Putin, a loyal KGB officer for 15 years.
	And here is what he...
	I loved it.
	Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
	Seek.
	Help.
	Stalin.
	Da-da-da-da.
	I have ever seen from ABC.
	Lainey Rufenstahl is puking in her grave.
	She says, what are you guys doing?
	You're doing it all wrong.
	And they had the picture of Putin.
	I don't even know if it was Putin.
	But it was some big-lipped, ugly little kid.
	Ruski, ruski, ruski.
	What could he look like back then?
	A colossus.
	And this is how it shrunk when the Soviet Union collapsed, which Putin called the greatest catastrophe of the century.
	His worldview shaped by the loss of an empire.
	He was born in a large Soviet space that encompassed a huge part of the Earth's landmass.
	They still called themselves Soviet, by which they mostly meant Russian.
	President Obama said today that Putin, quote, isn't fooling anybody.
	But Putin is less interested in winning arguments than he is in shaping history.
	And with thousands of troops on the ground and in control here in Crimea now...
	He is doing just that.
	Diane, we could play the bullcrap clips all day long.
	And by the way, people stop sending me clips from NPR with analysis.
	We're not going to use it.
	Never, ever.
	Because it's...
	All of this, the analysis, everything, it's all bullcrap.
	And the beauty of it is, the beauty, and God, I think ABC and Disney, these guys are, they are skull and bones.
	Because...
	They know, the American public in particular, but anyone who enjoys American product, and we have some outstanding product, I will tell you, when it comes to Hollywood, just go look and tell me that every bad guy has a Russian accent, it's always the East Bloc countries who are plotting to do crap, and lo and behold, just in time for all of this craziness, we have the new Muppets movie!
	Music The world's greatest criminal has stolen the greatest treasures, escaped the greatest prisons, and he bears a strong resemblance to someone you know.
	It's not easy being mean.
	It's Constantine, the world's most dangerous frog.
	Check this out.
	I'm not Constantine.
	You're going to be here a while.
	Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here.
	So it's all Russian.
	And you've got all of Hollywood in this movie speaking with Russian KGB accents.
	Yes, it's Tina Fey who you're hearing.
	I am Kermit, and now you guys have all the...
	I am Kermit.
	I don't like pooing.
	Freedom you want.
	What?
	When do I do the indoor running of the balls?
	I can't watch.
	I am fresh.
	My name will go down in history as greatest thief of all time.
	You can go watch the trailer.
	Yeah, this is Boris and Natasha all over again.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And so we're trained.
	Okay, I'm going to get to this last part of this triad, which is an interesting term in itself.
	Because now this is what happens.
	I've got to set this up.
	Diane's talking to her girl in Europe.
	And first you think she must be in Ukraine or Crimea because...
	That's what they're talking about.
	But you keep looking at the shot, and you say, I really don't think they have a copy of the Arc de Triomphe.
	In Kyiv.
	In Kyiv.
	And so you realize that she's in Paris, and she says she's in Paris eventually, but then you, what is she doing in Paris?
	And by the way, why are they having all these meetings?
	They have a meeting about the situation in Ukraine, and they have it in Paris.
	Well, hello.
	They have a meeting about some other crime in Syria.
	Well, hello.
	Paris.
	Hello.
	Why are they having it in Paris?
	How about the wine?
	It baffles me.
	Why would they have We have to go all the way to Paris constantly.
	Don't you like the wine?
	Don't you like Pierre the hairdresser to work on you?
	Don't you just love the trannies on the Champs-Élysées?
	Come on!
	You know, the thing about, especially these foreign correspondents in Paris, that they can't afford, even with their high salaries, and a lot of them, they don't get anchor money, but they get really substantial money, but still not enough to gallivant around Paris on somebody else's dime.
	That's the way to go.
	So they're having a good time in Paris.
	But anyway, this woman decides to editorialize and just give it to Poo-in.
	But before you do that, we should play at least a little side clip.
	John McCain on Putin.
	Poo-in.
	You better say it right.
	Poo-in.
	Vladimir Putin is an old KGB colonel bent on restoration of the Soviet, of the Russian Empire.
	This president believes the Cold War was over.
	Vladimir Putin doesn't believe that the Cold War is over.
	Putin!
	He doesn't believe the Cold War is over.
	No, we're resurrecting it.
	Get that Muppets movie out quick now.
	Damn it, it's time.
	Oh, let's all talk like this, Boris and Natasha.
	It's great.
	Okay, laughable report part three.
	Right now, so Martha, give it to us straight.
	Is the United States closer to...
	Don't lie to us, Martha.
	Tell us the truth now.
	Conflict with Russia tonight or not?
	Vladimir Putin, the bully Vladimir Putin, may already have gotten what he wants, Crimea.
	So it's very possible he won't push any further.
	This is the way that man negotiates.
	He is a bully.
	He is hammerhandling.
	This is how he...
	This is how he's a bully.
	He does not go in with the stormtroopers and anti-Semites and all kinds of crazy sharpshooters to kill people.
	No, he's a bully.
	But there are going to be meetings.
	They are negotiating?
	There are negotiations going on.
	Tomorrow, Secretary Kerry will be meeting with the Russian foreign minister here in Paris.
	Secretary Kerry really wants to get this settled as soon as possible.
	So at the end of the day, can the United States let Russia keep Crimea this way?
	You know, a simple answer to that is, is Europe going to go to war over Crimea?
	The United States certainly won't, so that may well happen.
	All right, so for those who, of course, today the news came out that Crimea has said they want allegiance with Russia, and they're going to accelerate some referendum on March 15th.
	It doesn't matter.
	This is not about that at all.
	Actually, there's a point here that you're missing, and I think this does matter.
	And I have clips to back this up.
	And the guy that they kept talking about, this guy Stephen Cohen, who was a professor at Princeton and NYU. That's the guy who was on with Brolf.
	Yeah, he was on with Brolf, but he came on the NewsHour with Gwen and essentially blew her out of the water because she had two stooges from the government in talking about how great Obama is.
	Of course, that's what she, you know, she wrote the book on Obama, literally.
	The hagiography.
	The hagiography.
	And he comes in and just says Obama's an idiot and Putin's doing this and that.
	And it's very interesting because the one thing that nobody brought up, and we did get it from one of our producers.
	I'll mention his name if I can find it in front of his email.
	He sent a very long note.
	It's very educational.
	Vitaly.
	Oh, yes.
	Vitaly.
	You know him.
	Vitali, Pedro, Pedro.
	Villafane?
	Is that him?
	No, no, no.
	I've got to go back.
	That's all right.
	It's Villafane.
	Cats and...
	Let's see.
	Sorry.
	I didn't mean to slow you down.
	Let's rock on.
	One of our many producers.
	Rock on?
	Yeah, one of our many producers.
	So he wrote about a five-page thing about the situation, and then he made this one little thing at the very end, which I thought was actually part of the...
	And the reason I would...
	There's clips to play to back this up, and one of them is this Cohen guy who says this all began 20 years ago with Clinton, who kept pushing and pushing, pushing NATO further toward Russia, and it's never stopped, and Russia's getting a little sick of it.
	And the last thing they want is, and this gets talked about, you have to admit, Ukraine being part of NATO. Yeah, with the security agreement as a part of the association agreement.
	So he came up with this little analysis, which I think has all to do with the Crimean situation.
	Finally, as a bonus to Russia, Ukraine may become ineligible to join NATO as the charter prohibits new members that have ongoing territorial disputes.
	You have to have that resolved, otherwise you can't join.
	So all Putin has to do, he may be playing a three-dimensional game, he says, with the rest of the world still learning checkers, or perhaps he's just an egomaniac.
	But I think that the whole play is to destabilize.
	I mean, the thing played out again, and it didn't work out for him in Ukraine.
	But if he gets this thing in Crimea just enough, there's a debate going on that shouldn't be resolved.
	He's not going to want to take over.
	That's why he's not going to send troops in.
	Hold on a second.
	I need to back up for a moment because I have a different view on this.
	And the Crimean thing, it's just another stage.
	The only thing that matters that maybe the U.S. would not like is the fact that the Russian weapons going to Egypt are being transported by Crimea.
	That's the only thing that maybe they wouldn't like.
	There's no gas there.
	There's no oil.
	There's nothing there of any importance.
	But the Russians aren't going to...
	They're not going to let this linger.
	They're not going to march in.
	Yeah, but step back.
	Step back for me.
	Why did this happen?
	First, we all agree this was the neocons, State Department, Kerry, Noodleman, Skull and Bones, who set this up.
	Fuck the EU. They made it happen.
	Why?
	Why?
	To follow the thing that started 20 years ago.
	Push NATO into Ukraine.
	That's the only reason.
	There's no money other than that.
	There's also oil and gas.
	That's what I want to go, but I want you to finish the NATO thing.
	That's it.
	This is my prediction for the Red Book.
	Nothing is going to come of this.
	This Crimea thing, they're going to have a local vote to associate with Russia.
	It's going to be a point of controversy that is going to linger forever.
	Yes.
	And that will keep NATO from coming in because they'd be a violation of their own rules.
	And that's all Putin really doesn't want.
	He doesn't want these guys...
	In fact, if you listen to these other clips, Cohen's the best one at this.
	If you want to listen to some guy whose analysis, I think, is right on the money that nobody...
	You know, they poo-poo the whole...
	They poo-poo the guy.
	Play Stephen Cohen part one.
	Why are we in this position tonight, Professor Cohen?
	What is Putin's endgame here?
	I don't know where to begin because I've just listened to two statements of the official American position.
	The position about where we are today and how we got here.
	I think they're fundamentally wrong.
	What we're watching today is the worst kind of history being made.
	The descent of a new Cold War divide Between west and east in Europe, this time not in far away Berlin, but right on Russia's borders through Ukraine.
	That will be instability and the prospect of war for decades to come for our kids and our grandchildren.
	The official version is that Putin is to blame.
	He did this.
	But it simply isn't true.
	This began 20 years ago when Clinton began the movement of NATO toward Russia.
	A movement that's continued.
	And even if we just go back to this November, just a few months ago when the protesters came into the streets in Ukraine, Putin said to Europe and to Washington, why are you forcing Ukraine to choose between Russia and Europe?
	We're prepared with Europe.
	To do a kind of mini Marshall plan to bail Ukraine out.
	Let's do it together.
	And that was refused by Washington and Brussels.
	And that refusal led to the situation today.
	And one last point.
	The worst outcome, you asked Michael.
	And he didn't say, but he said what he didn't want.
	The worst outcome, because we hear this clamor in Washington and we hear it in Europe, is a movement in response to what Putin's done in Crimea to move NATO forces to the Polish-Ukrainian border.
	If we do that, Putin will certainly bring troops in from Russia itself.
	The troops in Crimea seem to be troops that were based at the naval base, not the troops in Russia.
	I'm not sure.
	And then you will have a real confrontation.
	All right, this guy needs to be eliminated from the airwaves.
	He's making way too much sense.
	He'll never be back on.
	No, no, no.
	We cannot have him on the air talking sense like this.
	I agree with this.
	However, I've been tracking this guy, Carlos Pascual.
	Carlos Pascual, in 2012 or 2011, by Lucifer Clippity Clop, Hillary Clinton, was put in place in charge of the State Department's Bureau of Energy Resources.
	And this is 85, 95 people.
	This is a pretty good little operation.
	Funded.
	It's funded.
	He's in.
	He's good to go.
	And the New York Times today, purely by accident, I'm sure, posted an article, which actually was yesterday, I see now, which makes so much sense to me and is everything we've been talking about.
	Or at least from the energy standpoint.
	So we know that there's this huge debt that Ukraine has to Gazprom.
	They can't pay for it.
	This is how it all started.
	Putin said, you know, I'll cut your rates.
	You know, we'll make it OK. We can work out a deal.
	15 billion, which, by the way, now magically has been matched.
	How pathetic is that?
	We matched it with the EU. $1 billion for the US, $14 billion from the EU. Which is not a done deal, but the news is out there.
	Just so you know, it's not about money or anything.
	We'll match it all.
	We'll make it all good.
	Of course, what is really going to happen to the Ukrainian people will be quite sad.
	It'll be like Greece.
	But the New York Times, they like their article so much, which I'll read from in a moment, they even did a one-minute video about it.
	This is a new thing with the Times.
	When they like what they're doing, they post a video when there's a little bit of budget for it.
	The importance of natural gas for Russia and Ukraine, both countries' points of leverage, and the U.S. role, this morning on the New York Times Minute.
	Russian gas giant Gazprom announced the cancellation Tuesday of a natural gas discount to Ukraine, which will further hit the shaky economy.
	Ukraine is laced with pipelines, and 63% of all Russian gas exports pass through Ukraine to get to Europe.
	But to be clear, both countries have a lot of leverage in the situation.
	The Russians can turn off the gas to Ukraine, but the Ukrainians can turn off the gas to Europe, at which point everybody starts losing.
	Historically, that's when a deal gets struck.
	So it's a kind of mutual blackmail that they engage in.
	Going forward, the United States is jockeying for position.
	U.S. diplomats see the crisis as an opportunity to weaken Russia's ability to use natural gas as a weapon.
	The U.S. is hoping to increase its own exports to Europe, weaning the continent off of Russia down the road.
	So, Carol Davenport and Steven Erlanger wrote this piece.
	And I think it's really good.
	They got some information in here, which I have not read anywhere else, and I'm wondering.
	But we know that the timing right now is very weird because we have EU elections coming up in May.
	In order to export our gas under a trade agreement to Europe, which is what I've been looking at, the TTIP, that would have to be in place.
	It looks like we've messed that all up.
	Obama clearly can't get it done.
	He's not even talking about it anymore.
	There's way too much pushback on the whole idea.
	But we need to get our gas out.
	It's the only thing.
	And that's what Hillary Clinton saw and what she set this organization up for.
	From the Times article, The crisis has escalated a State Department initiative to use a new boom in American natural gas supplies as a lever against Russia, which supplies 60% of Ukraine's natural gas and has a history of cutting off the supply during conflicts.
	This week, Gazprom, Russia's state-run natural gas company, said it would no longer provide gas at a discounted rate.
	The administration's strategy to move aggressively to deploy the advantages of its new resources to undercut Russian natural gas sales to Ukraine and Europe weakened such moves by Mr. Putin's Putin in future years.
	Although Russia is still the world's biggest export of natural gas, the United States recently surpassed it to become the world's largest natural gas producer, largely because of fracking, obviously.
	For Russia, energy supplies are as important as they go into the pipeline saying here...
	David Dalton, editor of the Economist Intelligence Unit, says, Russia has always used gas as an instrument of influence.
	The more you owe Gazprom, the more they think that you can turn the screws.
	Now, this time, there's a major difference, according to the Times.
	As recently as 2007, American natural gas supplies were believed to be dwingling, blah, blah, blah.
	We know it's much more.
	They are setting up now, and in this year of action, John, I'm going to put in the Red Book the following.
	Since the president came out today with his executive order, which essentially is...
	If you're Russian and we don't like how you smell, we're taking away your money, we're not letting you travel in or out of the country.
	That's essentially what the EO says.
	I predict in this year of action, he's going to take his pen and he's going to create an executive order that allows for emergency exports of gas to Europe because of the Ukrainian crisis.
	And I think that has always been one of the end games for the neocons running this thing.
	And of course war is great too if we can get the NATO stuff in there because we need to sell more stuff.
	There's a couple of things that are variables here I want to mention.
	One is the American petrochemical companies do not like any of this.
	Well, Dow Chemical and DuPont, they like the very, very cheap gas to make their products.
	I totally agree.
	And they know if gas starts finding new markets for this cheap gas, natural gas is extremely inexpensive.
	Yes.
	This cheap gas that they make plastic from.
	Plastics are largely made from gas and all these other crazy things that DuPont and Dow would make.
	They don't like the idea of having to pay twice as much for their natural gas.
	Raw materials.
	And they have lots of lobbyists, and they're the ones that are pushing back on a lot of this to keep it from happening.
	So we have to keep that in mind.
	However...
	I have another thing.
	I got a report from the economic hitman who's back from Africa.
	Ah, good, good, good.
	And his friend is a...
	We don't know, and he doesn't say, but she's an agent for that little...
	State Department.
	State Department's intelligence agency.
	Mm-hmm.
	And she, apparently, from what I can ascertain, besides working 18 hours a day over something that has to do with Ukraine, there's missing pieces of information that we don't know about.
	But this is the little thing that got my attention.
	She admitted that no one in the intelligence world, which she's part of, And this has really stopped me in my tracks because this makes no sense to me since I believe the two of us knew this.
	She admitted that no one in the intelligence world ever imagined that Putin would be crazy enough to annex Crimea.
	They are now preparing for the congressional hearings which are about to take place to determine how the USA, aka Obama, misread how Putin was going to react to the crisis in Ukraine.
	I find that peculiar.
	Well, it sounds to me like the State Department is handing out a script for everyone to go scurry after.
	She must know what the real deal is.
	And anything to make Obama look stupid and checkmate him, put him off to the side to cripple him is great.
	Well, now with your thesis, which I'm not adverse to, which is that Kerry was actually the wrong guy to put in there because he brought with him his neocon buddies.
	Mm-hmm.
	Who are, you know, neoliberals, neocons, the same thing.
	It's this group of people that are all...
	These are the people who got us into Iraq.
	The same people.
	These are the people that want a one-world government.
	This is Clinton.
	Clinton and Bush.
	Clinton, Bush, all these guys.
	It's all the same guys, yeah.
	Bill, Hillary.
	It's the same freaking people.
	And the only difference is that Bill is the only one that wasn't in the skull and bones.
	Right.
	But yeah, no, these are the same creeps, and I think Obama's...
	I don't know what's going on with him to be so flat-footed.
	I mean, if you want to play something interesting...
	Well, let me just read one more passage here from this...
	Yeah, finish that.
	The Energy Department has started to issue permits to American companies to export natural gas starting in 2015.
	So they may have to move that up a little bit.
	It's essentially, we have terminals, there's 21 applications to build port facilities, the Gulf Coast, really, Texas, Louisiana.
	They really just have to reverse the valve.
	You know, it's just, instead of bringing it in, we just turn it around and push it back out.
	Reverse the valve.
	Yeah, well, that's what it's called.
	Get that old valve off, Bill!
	That's right, reverse it.
	And this is...
	And it's all of our friends.
	It's Chevron, it's Exxon, it's Total, it's Shell.
	It's a very good article, and I think that that seems like the obvious one.
	The only things that are ever fought over are turf and resources and hookers.
	I don't think there's anything else worth fighting for.
	Well, and you've got all three.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, the Ukraine.
	There's lots of hookers.
	There's a lot of land.
	Someone sent me a video.
	It's useless.
	I mean, there's poor people.
	One of the things Vitaly said in his note was that the Russians don't want Ukraine as a...
	No, no.
	It's annoying.
	It's a burden.
	People are poor there.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	No, they don't.
	I would just like to finish up my part, and then we need to thank some people as well.
	I just want you to listen to the final bits of this Ashton call, and then just so you can hear.
	Did you hear this whole call or not?
	Did you hear this thing?
	Yeah, I did.
	Let's play it.
	What exactly happened, so that there is a stronger and stronger understanding that behind snipers, it was not Sianukovic, but it was somebody from the new coalition.
	I think we do want to investigate.
	I mean, I didn't pick that up.
	It's interesting.
	Gosh.
	Oh, it's interesting.
	Gosh.
	Oh, gosh.
	Gosh, I think we do want to investigate.
	Oh, gosh.
	Oh, gosh.
	And there's also in the show notes, there's a video of the Prime Minister.
	What's his name?
	Yats?
	Who went to meet Barroso, Haiku Herman, and No Chin Monster, who has the worst outfit.
	It looks like she's wearing one of those yellow rain jackets that your mom used to dress you up in as a kid.
	She misses Clinton.
	Yeah, big time.
	And he walks in.
	He's got his skinny suit on with his skinny pants.
	And he's a Mr.
	Mr.
	Man walking in.
	And he kisses her three times.
	Kisses the no-chin monster three times.
	Because, of course, they're good buddies.
	It's disgusting to see this play out.
	And here's Ashton.
	No-chin monster!
	It's like her chin's been chopped off.
	Here is...
	Here is Ashton talking about what she feels should be done.
	But I've also said to them, if you simply barricade the buildings now and the government doesn't function, we can't get money in because we need a partner to partner with.
	Listen to her idea.
	I've said to the opposition leaders shortly to become government, you need to reach out to Medan, you need to be...
	You know, engaging with them.
	You also need to get ordinary police officers back on the streets under a new sense of their role so that people feel safe.
	I said to the part of the region's people, you have to go and lay flowers where the people died.
	You have to show that you understand what has happened here.
	That's our grand European solution.
	Go lay some flowers.
	And that's what Kerry did.
	Hey, by the way, I just got a text from Ms.
	Mickey.
	We have a strong gas smell coming from the outside of the house.
	I've called the gas company.
	They're on their way.
	Yeah?
	It's funny because I thought I smelled something weird during the program.
	Check your stove to see if it's like...
	I'm sure it's from outside the house.
	Oh, it could be anything.
	It could be a skunk.
	No, it's funny because we did have a skunk the other day.
	That's what skunks smell like.
	Ah, interesting.
	Or, it's finally time.
	It's going to blow up the place.
	Yeah, it happens.
	Hell yes, Mr.
	Curry had a gas leak.
	Yeah, and the whole house was blown up.
	It blew up.
	Two houses with it.
	I think, Mickey, I know you're listening, darling.
	That may be skunk.
	She's never smelled skunk.
	We talked about that.
	We saw the skunk the other day.
	Oh, if you saw a skunk, that's skunk.
	If you saw a skunk, you have a rabbit skunk in the area.
	Yeah.
	You should not.
	It was during the day?
	Yes.
	Oh, bad.
	If you ever see a skunk during the day, this is my advice to people who don't know about skunks.
	Hold on a second.
	Ladies and gentlemen, we now have...
	Official news from John C. Dvorak, Skunk Awareness Week.
	Skunk Awareness Week.
	If you see a skunk out during the day, it's a nocturnal animal, you should realize he probably has, or she, has rabies.
	That will be the skunk tidbit of the day.
	Say that again.
	You sound just like you were in the club.
	Sounds like she should have rabies.
	I'm the pole.
	Do not approach this skunk.
	Do not approach any skunk.
	I think you're right.
	I think it is a skunk.
	I think that's what it is.
	The difference is that the aroma that they put in the natural gas is...
	Hydrogen is a little, I think it's a little, I used to know what the chemicals were.
	They used specific chemicals, but they don't use any dichrodal sulfate, which is what the skunk is ethyl mercaptan, which is what they use in natural gas, but it's also dichrodal sulfide.
	Her name is ethyl?
	Sulfide.
	And that second smell, which smells also, it could be maybe a little butylmercaptin, it has that rubbery scent.
	You don't get the rubbery scent in natural gas.
	We had our guy come by, he hadn't been by in months, to blow up the leaves and tidy up the yard.
	Javier.
	By the way, every single Mexican that I've ever met in Austin, his name is Javier.
	Yeah, it's code.
	I think there's one guy with one passport, and it says Javier.
	And Javier, he says, before you leave, just so you know, there's a skunk by the garage.
	And this was two days ago?
	Was it Saturday?
	Two or three days ago?
	And I go outside, and lo and behold, Mickey's little studio thingy is next to the garage.
	And this stuff is falling down.
	It's not a studio.
	It's a wooden shack where you wouldn't even go smoke cigarettes with your buddies as a kid.
	And there it is.
	And it's just before...
	It must have been four in the afternoon, so the sun was still up or was still light out.
	And the skunks walk, and I call her.
	I said, Mickey, look, here's the skunk.
	Oh, it's so beautiful.
	It's a beautiful animal.
	And he goes down underneath her shed or whatever, and that's the last time we saw it.
	But I think you're right.
	There's a skunk.
	That's what it is.
	That's what I was smelling, too.
	Maybe he got hit by a car.
	Maybe he's dead somewhere.
	That could also be happening.
	Yeah, and then they stink for days.
	Oh, for days, months.
	Yeah, well...
	Alright, so...
	That's solved.
	Another problem solved by the team from No Agenda.
	Squirrel!
	Yeah, Mickey's...
	Yeah, okay.
	These guys are going to show up.
	And they're going to laugh.
	Ma'am, you got a skunk.
	You got a skunk in the neighborhood.
	And we're not talking about your husband.
	Don't you know what a skunk is?
	We're not talking about your husband.
	Hey, you know what, John?
	Let's just take a moment here.
	This has been such a dynamic conversation.
	I think we've played 30 clips in quick succession.
	I need to thank you for your courage.
	I need to thank you for your courage.
	And in the morning to you, John C. DeVore.
	In the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	In the morning to all ships and sea boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, and all the names of knights out there.
	Woo!
	We do have some people to thank.
	We have two executive producers and two associate executive producers.
	The weeks are getting slower.
	As we approach show 600, maybe everyone's saving up.
	Pierre Manegra.
	Or Manegre.
	It would be French.
	Manegre.
	Manegre.
	It doesn't make any difference.
	He calls himself Raymond Rojo.
	There you go.
	Raymond Rojo.
	Oops.
	$400.
	Somewhere I heard pink sink somewhere over the rainbow at the Oscars.
	My MK Ultra programming compelled me to donate $322.23.
	It worked!
	The best podcast, too, the best podcast in the universe.
	However, my OCD hates this, so I'm throwing in a sack of sevens to round it out.
	Woo-hoo!
	Came in with $400.
	Came up with the great work, and I get a Shut Up Slave LGY Karma for all the Winnipeggers out there who have had to endure the coldest winter since 1939.
	The cap and trade is working out great.
	Yay!
	Shut Up Slave!
	You've got karma.
	Awesome.
	Thank you so much.
	That's very kind.
	Is that Sir Raymond Rojo?
	I think he's been knighted.
	That feels right.
	Yeah, people, please add that to your notes.
	For so many reasons, it's hard for us to track that.
	And we want to address you properly.
	We really do.
	That's what I'd say.
	Isaac Chase, $333.33, sends a number of notes, and I got into a debate with him, actually.
	About his notes?
	No, I got into a debate because he had this kind of a very weak theory about the three...
	Oh, yes, and I followed that debate, and then I sent him a private note, and I said, Buzzkill pissing on your parade.
	And then he went, and you didn't protect me!
	No.
	Thank you for your courage.
	This long-ass no to companies.
	My first executive producer donation.
	I have three reasons for the 3-3-3-3.
	First, I want to call three lovely ladies at the stage so he's cheating.
	But he will put them on the list for the next time we open the club.
	Oh, by the way, the club can't be...
	I knew this was going to happen.
	Don't tell me the inspectors came.
	Yep.
	The inspectors came.
	The dunk tank is gone.
	Unless we have to re...
	What do you call it?
	I have an idea.
	Why don't we say it's a baptism tank?
	In Texas.
	Yeah.
	Unfortunately, the place is in Florida.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, Florida might work.
	I don't know.
	Whatever the case is, we have to reinforce the surrounding beams or some damn thing.
	We're dead getting bids.
	We have to get an architect in for that?
	How annoying.
	But also, we may just take the dunk tank out.
	But there's also some other issues with Stage 5.
	Apparently it was put in poorly.
	Anyway, okay.
	So he talks about, he used to work for the Colorado, and I'll skip his argument about three.
	He used to work for the Colorado state government.
	It was a job loaded with bullshit served hot and fresh daily by our benevolent overlords when Governor Hickenlooper, he says there's any time you use a series of threes, three means bullshit, and I told him this is not an explanation for anything.
	The third reason for the 33-3 donation is to thank you for your value for value model.
	My business partner and I have been using it with great success in our firearms training endeavor.
	We offer all of our training for free over the whole state of Colorado to whomever wants it.
	And by the way, if you want to shoot a gun or if you're going to play with...
	Take some training.
	The training is not a big deal.
	Wait a minute.
	So he gives the training and concealed carry training for free?
	Free firearms training and free concealed carry classes.
	Huh.
	Well, that's all you need.
	He just signs up.
	At www.gunsforeveryone.com.
	Oh, and he does value for value and then you pay whatever you feel is worth?
	Yeah, you pay what you think.
	You take the course, you get your lessons, you shoot a gun, and then you feel comfortable around weapons, and then you decide to give him whatever you think he deserves.
	Huh.
	And that's working out?
	Apparently, he says it is.
	It says he's thanking us for our model.
	Nice!
	Someone sent me a note that...
	By the way, he does need a lone wolf to the head, little kid milf.
	Uh, lone...
	Oh, little kid...
	With a karma?
	With a karma?
	Oh, you want hot milf baby?
	He wants a lone wolf to the head, little milf, yeah.
	That's one hot milf.
	Right, right.
	Yeah, that one.
	And with a karma, okay.
	That's one hot milf, baby.
	You've got karma.
	I like that.
	That's cool.
	That's a great idea.
	You know what?
	I'd do that here.
	I'd love the whole idea.
	He probably makes more money than whatever competitive rate he has to charge for other people doing that.
	Well, for one, I think here's the reason for that.
	If you're going to use this model because it's free...
	This is the old come on.
	It's free.
	And you probably doubled your clientele right off the bat because people are going to get put off by whatever the fee is because you think it's too expensive.
	You don't even know what this course is about until you take it.
	But if you take the course free and then you say, wow, this was valuable and it is valuable to take these courses if you're going to have firearms or have anything to do with them.
	And you go, wow, that was worth everything.
	You know, you give the guy, you know, whatever, and you probably ask him, I would, what would people normally charge for this?
	And you say, whatever it is, and you give him that money at least, or maybe more.
	So I think it's worth this.
	And you feel bad if you don't give him money, because it's like being in a church.
	It's not like our show.
	We can't guilt people by having the guy sitting next to you look at you saying, how come you're not giving any money?
	Hey.
	We can't do that.
	Look at this plate.
	This plate that I'm holding in front of you is supposed to have something on it.
	I love the bag on a stick better.
	Have you ever seen the bag on a stick?
	Catholics use that.
	Bag on the stick.
	Hey, look what they have poking that bag on a stick thing.
	Cool.
	And what's the URL again?
	Gunsforeveryone.com.
	Nice.
	Good one.
	And then we have two, and there's no notes, and they came in as bank checks from one of the payment services.
	David Killian from Clinton, Illinois, $208, which must mean something, but I have no email.
	And Susan Bell from Clarksville, Maryland, $201.33.
	Are you sure there wasn't a note from Susan Bell?
	I didn't see.
	I looked up Bell in my email.
	I couldn't find it.
	Maybe she sent you something.
	Let me just check for a second.
	Do I see a no?
	And the other one, David Killian?
	Yeah, K-I-L-L-I-A-N. Hold on a second.
	Killian, it's me.
	A-I-L-L-I-A-N. No, nothing.
	I got nothing.
	I got nothing.
	Okay, well, that's fine.
	So there are two associate executive producers for show 597.
	That's all we got for this show, 597.
	I want to remind people we do have a show coming up on Sunday, 598, which will be a couple away from show 600.
	Make sure to go to Dvorak.org slash NA and keep this show on the road.
	Yeah, and thank you for those of you who probably took the newsletter to heart to jump in at the last minute there and help us out.
	That is highly appreciated.
	We're running long today already, I can tell, so we will have a thank you segment later on for our donors above $50.
	Quick PR mention.
	I want to say, noagenonation.com, they've got the 33 bags.
	You want an endorsement?
	And by the way, we don't have nothing to do with this.
	Eric gives us something.
	Yeah.
	Basically, Eric sends us an invoice every month and then sometimes he gives a little bit back.
	Honestly.
	Yeah, I just learned from the old man, I guess.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, well, good.
	Mickey loves the 33 bags.
	She is...
	She said, oh my God.
	She said, I'm not bullcrap.
	I love these bags.
	They're sturdy.
	They feel good.
	She uses them for all kinds of stuff.
	Oh, well, if women like the 33 bag, they can become a fashion statement.
	Thank you.
	That's exactly right.
	I think we're on to something.
	In addition, Sir Ludark Babark Fudge Fountain has set up something very cool.
	He is doing, he set up a, you can get this code from GitHub.
	He has a no agenda summary page, which is text only.
	You can go to the page and you get the summaries with time codes of what was on each individual show, which is really good to have for it to be indexed.
	You know, people can figure out what was in the show.
	It's actually good for us to find stuff.
	Thank you.
	And he has tools, tools.
	That you can pull from GitHub.
	I think it's Python.
	I'm not sure.
	Anyway, the URL is callclooney.org.
	So if you click on callclooney.org, you go to No Agenda Summary.
	So I'll take a look here.
	Oh, it also has a PDF of all show summaries.
	Somehow it works automatically.
	You've got to look at the tools.
	But if you look at our previous show, it has a nice, you know, it says here, one hour, nine minutes, American Red Cross Month, Irish American Heritage Month, Women's History Month, which reminds me, John, we have a few new things to look at for this month.
	It is, let me see, did we...
	We missed, we missed on the 28th of February, Read Across America Day.
	I can't believe we missed that.
	March 31st, coming up, coming up, coming up, it will be...
	Oh no, it's for the whole month, I'm sorry.
	Colorectal Cancer Month.
	Which is ass cancer.
	Why does anyone want to celebrate that?
	Woo!
	Ass cancer!
	Woohoo!
	And then my favorite.
	It is, we are still in the middle of National Consumer Protection Week.
	Which I would like to call out as completely bogative.
	No!
	Reading from his proclamation, we have taken action to prevent credit card companies from hiding fees in intentionally obscure text and giving families access to clear, comprehensive information on student loans.
	Okay, I would just like to say, from time to time, I try and see if I can get some credit.
	And I made a huge mistake a while back, and I haven't brought this up.
	Yeah, I wanted you to bring this up.
	Yeah, I told you privately, and then you said I should talk about it on the show.
	Okay.
	Because I'm embarrassed.
	You know, I have a FICA score of...
	It's a million.
	You don't need to talk about your FICA score.
	Just give us the facts about this scam.
	So I get one of these flyers in the mail and it says, you know, get the Capital One.
	This is, you know, what all those black actors are.
	What's in your wallet?
	Yeah, that would be the one.
	So Alec Baldwin and the guy from...
	Who was fired from it, by the way.
	Yeah, whatever.
	So I'm like, okay, I'll try it.
	And lo and behold, I go to the website and I sign up and then they say, you've been approved.
	And I go, yeah, woohoo!
	I mean, I went to Mickey, I'm like, honey, I am credit worthy!
	And by the way, before you continue...
	I'm still celebrating, yeah?
	Before you continue with the celebration, I want to remind people that the story you're about to hear would never be told on any normal news outlet ever.
	No.
	Because you, the listener and producer, are the ones who pay for this show.
	You get this story.
	Yes.
	And they're huge advertisers.
	They're huge advertisers.
	They've corrupted all media that this particular story has not been told.
	It's no different than GoDaddy or Carbonite or any of these.
	They're all the same.
	It's a corporate corruption, but go.
	Just tell.
	Don't let me interrupt you anymore.
	So they say, congratulations!
	You are worth $300 a month.
	I'm like, alright, this is good.
	Would you like the card to look like this or this?
	Click on whatever.
	Just make it look kind of classy.
	I think I actually black.
	I'm like, yeah, maybe if I put my thumb over the Visa thing, they'll think it's an American black card.
	So it shows up, and I didn't activate it right away.
	All you have to do to activate is just use it.
	And the next day, I get a bill.
	I get a statement.
	So I open it up, and it says, congratulations, here is your first bill for $105 for the entire year and $15 for your customization fee.
	I'm like, what fee?
	There was no fee mentioned anywhere.
	And I'm pretty good at looking at things.
	I really looked through as much as I could.
	And I saw no fees.
	I certainly didn't agree to any customization fee.
	And right there, I says, but, you know, you can start now with your 23.8% interest rate and pay only $25.
	So I pay it off immediately.
	I pay the whole thing off.
	And I pay that off.
	I didn't know you gave them any money.
	Well, I'd already activated the card.
	By using it where?
	I paid for our new registration for Mickey's car.
	I know.
	So now, now I'm hooked.
	Although, I have to say, they sent me a new note.
	My credit line is now $400.
	That's right.
	Uh-huh.
	That's right.
	I'm not kidding.
	Uh-huh.
	And they send me another statement, and I'm like, oh, now I'm traumatized because I don't have to do any credit card bills ever because we use debit cards, so now I'm traumatized.
	I actually have a checkbook downstairs in the kitchen for when this thing comes in so I can sign it right away because I'm such a procrastinator.
	I know I'll get screwed.
	I'll be owing thousands of dollars before you know it.
	That's how it works.
	Yeah, but then they said, and so there's the charge.
	And they have a $2, like, interest fee.
	How can that be?
	They get to charge interest?
	I thought the deal was, if you pay it immediately, you have no interest charges.
	Isn't that how it's supposed to work?
	Wow, they're gouging you from every left and right.
	Cancel the card and send the whole thing to Consumer Protection Services.
	I guarantee you, if I cancel this card, I'm going to get a $500 cancellation fee that I haven't seen.
	In fact, I might just do it just to prove the point.
	So, Presidential Proclamation, National Consumer Protection Week, blow me.
	Blow me, Obama.
	And what's that woman's name, that douche shield knuckle biatch who's supposed to protect us?
	Elizabeth Warren?
	That one.
	The fake American Indian?
	Screw you, too.
	American Indian, Elizabeth Warren, Cherokee.
	Screw you, too, National Consumer Protection Week.
	You have done nothing.
	So I take it that you're not recommending Capital One?
	What's in your wallet?
	Well, an old rubber.
	That's all I want in my wallet.
	Well, there's another fine anecdote in the No Agenda show that will not be heard anywhere else, ever.
	This is why we need your support through donations, because we don't look pretty to advertisers.
	And you can always go out and propagate our formula.
	Tell them that I sent you.
	What's in your wallet?
	Huh?
	The formula?
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Shut up, slave.
	Shut up, slave.
	Hold that.
	Will it!
	I'm going to collect all 14.
	you Of what?
	Of people yelling stuff.
	Willard!
	Putin!
	Willard.
	Did you not hear it?
	Willard!
	Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
	Yeah, so we could, I guess we're going to have to get off of the...
	Yeah, we can leave.
	I think we can just say, safely say, don't think there's going to be any war happening.
	I don't think people are going to be getting...
	Well, people may get killed, for sure.
	Oh, yeah, by snipers.
	Yeah, sniper fire.
	Okay, I got it.
	What's today's bet?
	I think we should go three good guys and four cops.
	That's too many cops.
	The cops are getting pissed off.
	They're getting shot in the head.
	Okay, let's do one cop and six guys.
	Six other guys.
	Just guys, a woman and a baby.
	I forgot to tell you.
	After the Oscars, this is so disgusting.
	I saw this article.
	Celebrities came together at the Hollywood Domino Pizza event sponsored by Heineken and Jose Cuervo to raise much needed funds.
	This is after the Oscars.
	This is one of these after parties.
	And before I tell you what it was for, Rumor Willis, that's...
	What is it?
	Whoever that is.
	Kate Beckingsdale, Kevin Jonas, I guess of the Jonas Brothers, Vanessa Hudgens, no idea who she is.
	Some people I don't know.
	But Celebrities.
	It came together...
	For the Domino event, sponsored by Heineken and Jose Cuervo, to raise much-needed funds for artists for peace and justice to benefit Haiti and the rebuilding of Port-au-Prince.
	Yes!
	And so there's this artist for justice and peace, peace and justice...
	And they're raising money for Haiti.
	These guys, here's what they made my interpretation.
	These guys are so brain dead, these celebrities, that they look and say, hey, remember when we did that Haiti thing?
	Yeah, they took all the money.
	Really?
	They took all the money?
	Well, let's do that again and let's take the money ourselves.
	I don't know if they're going to take the money themselves.
	No, let's take the money ourselves.
	That's a great idea.
	We can take the money.
	We can take the money.
	They took the money.
	We can take the money.
	So after billions of dollars, live telethons all over the world.
	Now we have to have the Artists for Peace and Justice for Haiti, which, of course, is a non-profit organization that encourages peace and social justice and addresses issues of poverty around the world.
	Our immediate goal is to serve the poorest communities in Haiti with programs in education, health care, and dignity.
	Yeah, how about a toilet for them to poop in?
	We can take the money.
	And to listen to the people here, the advisory board.
	Javier Bardem.
	Pierce Brosnan, Jackson Brown, Daniel Craig, Russell Crowe, Penelope Cruz, Clinton and Donna Eastwood, Mark Evans, Jane Fonda, Dr.
	Henry Ford, Frances Underwood, Martha Rogers, Susan Sarandon.
	It's disgusting.
	Oh, here are the gas guys.
	I see them walking outside.
	It's going to be funny.
	Maybe this gunk should come barreling out, turn around and spray him.
	The gas guy, he's walking.
	Thanks for calling.
	We'll be here really fast next time you call.
	The gas guy's lumbering.
	Believe me, there's no one here in a hazmat suit, let's put it that way.
	I was blown away by the, in some ways, the idiocy, of course, but also, wow, man, these people really, really dare to do this?
	Geez.
	I'm glad you're upset about it.
	So I have a couple of things that might be interesting.
	Oh, this is good news.
	Of course, everyone around, oh, I just like good news.
	Yeah?
	Yeah.
	California high-speed rail is being blocked.
	Hold on a second.
	Where are your clips?
	Oh, your clip's closed for some reason.
	That's not good.
	Come to California, everybody.
	Opponents of California's high-speed rail project have scored a pair of victories in Sacramento tonight.
	First, a judge has ruled that a lawsuit can go forward.
	It's backed by a group of farmers who contend the current plan doesn't deliver on promises made to voters in 2008.
	Also today, the Secretary of State approved a petition drive for a November ballot initiative that would terminate the whole project and block the state from spending any more money on high-speed rail.
	Holy moly.
	We're spending tons of money still, but this is like, have you noticed that we used to have trains good, planes bad, and all the rest of it?
	Yeah.
	It was a theme of the show for a good year.
	For a long time, yeah, for sure.
	It's gone.
	Well, why?
	I don't know.
	You tell me.
	Well, I mean, we don't have enough stories about it.
	I can play the jingle if it makes you feel good.
	No, I don't want the jingle.
	All right.
	I just think something's changed.
	Well, California is weird by itself.
	Here's news from Los Angeles.
	Fans of e-cigarettes won't be able to inhale in public in Los Angeles anymore.
	The L.A. City Council voted Tuesday to ban them at bars, nightclubs, and restaurants.
	The move essentially treats e-cigarettes the same way as traditional tobacco products.
	New York City and Chicago also have similar bans in place.
	Supporters say the ban will protect impressionable kids.
	But opponents say the devices help people kick traditional cigarettes.
	I think if I still live in Los Angeles, I think I would just go to a restaurant and just put a vibrator in my mouth.
	You know one of those ones that swirls and has lights on it and stuff?
	Yeah, just hold that out and just pretend to puff on it a little bit.
	I mean, this is ludicrous.
	There's been no...
	I mean, they've had some study, but certainly not years and years of study that this is detrimental to your health.
	No, because you can't do it because kids might be influenced and want to smoke a real cigarette.
	In a bar?
	In a bar.
	In a bar.
	That is truly shut up, slave.
	Just listen to the joint.
	Do not smoke, eat cigarettes!
	It's really weird.
	Maybe just stick a tampon in your nose or something.
	I would really be doing that.
	And if they start banning that in Texas, I'll do that too.
	Just chew on an unlit cigar.
	That's probably also illegal.
	I'm telling you, these people, it's nuts.
	And everyone's like, okay, I'll go.
	And of course you know that the real reason is the tobacco lobby has got to be behind this.
	Like, hey, hey, hey, hey.
	Hey, we want people smoking the real deal.
	We don't want them getting any ideas here.
	We'll take a little break here for another episode of Guess the Movie.
	Oh, and we still don't...
	Did we ever get a jingle for that?
	No, by the time we get a jingle, we'll stop doing it.
	But this is a movie that they played recently, and I recorded it on the DVR because I haven't seen it for years.
	It's impossible to watch in one setting, but it's one of the greatest movies ever made, in my opinion.
	And here is a little clip from it.
	See if you can guess it.
	Mary tells me you're a very nice fellow.
	What do you do?
	Uh-oh, I'm on vacation now.
	What did you do?
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Well, I work at LaPelle's factory.
	I'm a printer.
	Henry's very clever at printing.
	Yes, he sounds very clever.
	I happen to know this one because it's old enough for me to remember.
	This is, of course, Blazing Saddles.
	No!
	No?
	Oh, I was so sure I was right.
	How about Citizen Kane?
	No?
	No.
	I really don't know.
	This is the classic, and I recommend it to everyone, all the listeners, all the producers, and all the men and women on the ships on the ground and boots in the air.
	Eraserhead.
	David Lynch's classic.
	Wow.
	I don't remember the donkey.
	No, that was the girl who apparently just has fits randomly.
	Having a fit.
	And she's cured from her fit when her mother brushes her hair.
	This has been so long that I saw Eraserhead.
	Hellraiser?
	Eraserhead?
	Eraserhead.
	I don't think I've ever seen Eraserhead.
	David Lynch.
	I don't think I've seen it.
	You would enjoy it immensely.
	I'm sure I would.
	You and Mickey both.
	There's so many movies I want to see.
	I'm telling you right now, you and Mickey should sit down some Friday night and just have a good time watching Eraserhead.
	Speaking of movies, I was talking to someone who, without you saying it, because this person has to remain anonymous, Someone who is close to super elites, like Tom Cruise in the movie business, but also PR people like Goldman Sachs.
	So I get around.
	I had dinner with him.
	What is today?
	I had dinner with him.
	It is Thursday.
	Monday night.
	And I really don't like going out at all.
	But, you know, I had Monday night.
	Here is the rumor from the elites.
	And, you know, we have a lot of rumors about the president.
	Rumors from the elites.
	Rumors from the elites.
	Apparently.
	So we all know that, you know, what's-his-face, Murdoch's ex-wife, that she was banging Tony Blair.
	We know that, right?
	We got that one out.
	We had that one early.
	Rumor is, our president really is, whenever possible, whenever he's on the road, a European thing or a G7 or anything like that, that he's banging hella Thorin Schmidt.
	No.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I said, that's what I said now.
	I said, no, no, no, really, he's banging her.
	The selfie woman from the Mandela.
	Yeah, the Danish woman.
	Yes.
	Blonde.
	Yep.
	You know, it makes, in context...
	Occam's razor, it's simple, right?
	You'd think, yeah, that makes sense.
	Yeah, you see them?
	They're looking like two buddies.
	Yeah.
	And you got the glowering wife that's giving them the eye.
	Yeah.
	Knowing what's going on, but not being able to do much about it, or can't prove it, or whatever.
	She probably has the Secret Service guys already told her.
	Well, that's what the National Enquirer said.
	That she found out through the Secret Service guys.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, so that's just a rumor.
	You heard it here first.
	You don't have to put it in the red book because we really don't care.
	No, this is real news.
	We don't care.
	But along with the elites, how does it work?
	Wasn't Bill Gates, wasn't he busy spending his entire fortune?
	Wasn't that the whole idea that he and Warren Buffett and the Gates Foundation...
	Yeah, he's going to be a philanthropist.
	He's going to spend all his money.
	But now he's putting it in profit-making operations.
	Is that where you're headed?
	Well, yes.
	Here he is.
	He has reclaimed the title as the world's richest man.
	Yeah.
	How does that work?
	How does that work when you're trying to spend your money?
	I thought he was giving it all away.
	I don't understand.
	It's very confusing to me.
	He's not giving it away.
	It's just bullcrap.
	Yes.
	Yes, exactly.
	It's bullcrap.
	Well, the bullcrap that he's involved in is very...
	He has a piece of Corrective Corporation of America now, right?
	Yeah, but the Common Core thing is what really bothers me.
	Yeah, it's true.
	Where two plus three is approximately four in the Common Core!
	Nice!
	Yeah, I know.
	I think I found another Common Core piece of the puzzle with this really weird...
	Now, we've been talking about My Brother's Keeper, the Becoming a Man, the Match Syndicate of, what do you call those, charter schools.
	The charter school thing is on a tear.
	And everybody's all in on it.
	And Robert Redford is producing a series on CNN... A reality series about Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel, which is...
	I mean, it's kind of blowing my mind a little bit.
	Shameless.
	Yeah, and I'll play the promo that...
	I think it starts...
	You see it on buses.
	It's being promoted everywhere, which means there's more money behind it than just CNN. CNN has money, but CNN is failing.
	They really have a huge problem.
	So this is money being funneled in specifically to promote this, which is an agenda.
	And if you listen to the promo, to me, it sounds that it's all about charter schools.
	From executive producer Robert Redford.
	We're all accountable to the children of the city of Chicago.
	Well, you take your ass off our school.
	I worry about my kids.
	It could all fall apart.
	The people of Chicago are going to stand up and say, see you later, see you later.
	We are not going down without a fight!
	Chicagoland, a new CNN original series, premieres March 6th.
	Chicagoland, presented by Allstate.
	Allstate, there you go.
	It's tonight.
	That's some native advertising for you.
	Allstate, there you go.
	So Allstate has bought into this hook, line, and sinker, and it's all about school kids.
	So let me get this straight.
	So CNN, which is failing, there's been a lot of stories in the media about them not even getting the numbers of MSNBC, which are about one-fourth the numbers of Fox.
	And they're just doing terribly, and they had to fire Douche Morgan, and they're going to rethink everything.
	So they've decided to take the A&E, AMC, the HBO route, and do...
	Dramas?
	Yeah, I guess so.
	Well, it's probably better.
	Yeah?
	Well, that's going to get him higher ratings, but it kind of messes up when you're trying to send Pooper to Crimea.
	Pooper's apparently ratings are terrible.
	Oh, no.
	He's on his way out, too.
	I'm just looking at Allstate Common Core.
	You've got to think these guys are in on this.
	Anyway, so that whole thing, we know Rahm Emanuel, he's closing schools in Chicago, public schools, and opening up charter schools.
	And charter schools are all on board with CCSS, the Common Core State Standards, and your children are being assimilated, literally, in front of your very eyes.
	They're being, whoop, just washed up.
	Into this thing.
	And people are so uninvolved with their kids.
	They don't...
	I don't understand that homework.
	It's too complicated.
	Whatever.
	Well, the other thing that's interesting is they're trying to shift.
	And they would never go with the voucher program, which I always thought was a decent...
	I didn't like it at first when I first heard it years ago when I was a kid because I was a Democrat.
	And everything that came from the Republican side was bad.
	Just bad.
	It was bad.
	Even in your day.
	It's always been.
	It's amazing.
	So anyway, but it seems like a logical way to go because you have all these different schools and the money is collected and you take it to spend it anywhere you want and it becomes really competitive instead of kind of run by the state like it is now.
	So these charter schools are coming.
	They're kind of quasi.
	They make money somehow.
	And they steal state money.
	They take the state money.
	They pay their teachers.
	They know how to run the operation.
	There's no union running a commercial operation.
	Yeah, they're running a commercial operation.
	They know how to do it.
	But the thing is, they've got to make the numbers look right.
	And the reason charter schools work, and I think you could find this backed up by some documentation, is they take the cream-of-the-crop kids out of the regular schools.
	I mean, this is the way it's been going.
	This is how they got their reputation.
	You take a school that's got a bunch of dumb kids and two smart kids.
	You figure out who the two smart kids is if you're lucky.
	But generally speaking, the teachers can figure it out.
	So they got a couple of smart kids.
	They pull them out.
	And then the charter schools get them.
	And the charter schools get them from all different schools.
	And all the other schools' averages go down because they took the smart kids out.
	And the charter schools go up and everyone says, charter schools work.
	That's right.
	And then the colleges will start putting their endowments into those charter schools.
	Because they work!
	And if you look at Louisiana, New Orleans specifically, the Ninth Ward, everything, all those schools that got wiped out by Katrina all replaced with charter schools.
	You talk to people down there, they talked about the best economic boon ever, thanks to Katrina.
	Katrina was the best thing that could ever happen to these people.
	To the charter school people.
	So they should have two courses to study.
	They should just close down all the non-charter schools and then like college prep, which is all the charter school kids, they should have prison prep.
	Yes.
	And they should just put the kids into a...
	That's where you're headed.
	...a prison because they're going to go straight to the Corrections Corporation of America, partly owned by Bill Gates and the Melissa Gates Foundation, actually.
	And really, these people, you know, they're getting the experience.
	They know how to run schools because they invest in the Corrections Corporation of America.
	They know how to run this thing.
	Yeah, so you have these prison prep schools, and then you put the kids in there, you show them how to stand in line to get food, and how to bang on the bars, and how to drink from a tin cup.
	How to write a book on a grain of rice.
	How to make a shiv.
	Ha, ha, ha.
	Wait a minute.
	What do you call it?
	Prison prep schools?
	Prison prep.
	Is it just called prison prep?
	Yeah, just like college prep.
	Because they're obviously going straight to prison because they've already been pushed aside for the other kids.
	You might as well just get them ready.
	I don't want to go to prison.
	Shut up.
	You learn how to do tattoos?
	Yeah.
	Hey, prisonprep.com is already taken.
	Well, screw that.
	Maybe we should do prisonprepschools.com.
	Don't you think that would be at least worth something?
	Might be.
	Because it's going to happen.
	How to get your kid ready for prison prep.
	Pre-prison prep.
	Yeah, you have to have the early, the head start.
	Let me just see who...
	Head start for losers.
	Prisonprep.com.
	Who is using Prisonprep.com?
	Oh, here it is.
	Prisonprep.com, the leading prison prep site on the net.
	Well, hello.
	What?
	Oh.
	Prison prep for what?
	Okay.
	Click here to buy prison.
	No, no, no.
	It's a parking page.
	But it's a good parking page.
	It has a little justice hammer there.
	Interesting.
	You can buy it.
	Yeah, screw that.
	I'm not going to buy that from you.
	No, we're not buying anything.
	We're not buying anything.
	Well, prison prep.
	What else?
	I like that.
	And also learn how to bang your utensils on the bench.
	Bang, bang.
	You have to call the prison guards.
	Hey, screw!
	Everyone gets to wear a name tag named Bubba.
	And you get to wear a prison outfit, which is, gosh, fun.
	You get a number.
	And you get to pick up litter.
	There's a lot to do.
	With a blunt stick?
	Yeah.
	That was great.
	That's where the charter schools are headed.
	Let's just get out the middle, man, and just close the other schools.
	Put them straight through.
	Yeah, put them straight through.
	I think you're onto something.
	Yeah, I think so.
	I wonder if Redford would cover anything like that.
	Oh, please.
	I don't even know why he's doing it.
	That seems so weird.
	Well, Ari Emanuel is, of course, funding the whole thing.
	His brother.
	Oh, Ari from Super Agent Ari, yeah.
	I was looking at the healthy surprise box.
	Yeah, this last box was just like all chocolate.
	I think the vegans, vegans have given up.
	Well, there's two things.
	I'm not actually eating anything but kale and chocolate.
	Well, so, no, no, I found something new, and then I found some other things, but I really was digging the garlic herb slow-roasted pumpkin seeds.
	I don't think I had those.
	Very nice.
	Now, from the chocolate box, I've got to put my glasses up here.
	This was the Righteously Raw Macca Bar.
	And I was eating it, and it tasted really good until I read the description.
	Our chocolate contains only the highest quality raw organic ingredients.
	We then pair it with nature's most dynamic superfoods to create an unsurpassed gourmet experience.
	Really?
	Nature's most dynamic superfoods?
	I don't know what a dynamic superfood is.
	It's interesting that apparently in the Netherlands, I didn't know this, the superfoods thing had already caught on.
	Now, we've been tracking this as kale will be a superfood.
	Apparently, cocoa, palm sugar, quinoa, goji beads, whatever, hemp, kale...
	Everyone was all in.
	I think we've talked about how the Dutch are weird on the biological stuff.
	Oh, yes, I buy biological.
	Everything's biological, but they bought into some branding.
	And now, I don't know why this happened, but some government institution said, hey, hey, hey, superfoods are bullcrap.
	And the papers are full of it.
	Oh, superfoods is a hoax.
	It's not true.
	It's just marketing.
	Right.
	Hold on a second.
	What was it, darling?
	Was it a skunk?
	Not a skunk?
	Hold on a second.
	But we have no gas?
	Nope.
	We're all clear.
	It's all good.
	Why isn't it a skunk?
	Oh, we didn't see a skunk.
	Did it smell like a skunk?
	Do I smell like a skunk?
	Thank you, love.
	All right.
	We're all clear.
	We're not going to blow up.
	Likely story.
	All right.
	You get droned.
	Well, that's, yeah, that's the cover.
	Well, we went to check and we couldn't find any leak, but I guess we missed it.
	Anyway, so the superfood thing is blowing up in Gitmo Nation lowlands.
	I was just amazed that this turns out to be a marketing ploy and it wasn't true.
	Huh.
	Yeah.
	Well, I've got a four-clip theme here, a little package.
	A package?
	I've noticed, I wanted to point this out.
	It's not a package because I didn't produce it.
	But I wanted to point this out.
	The way, because we got into some global warming issues here and there once in a while.
	Yeah, I saw the story.
	They're trying to deal with this polar vortex freezing out the East Coast and all the rest.
	And the coldest winter, we just had one of our producers say it was the coldest winter in Winnipeg.
	Since 1939.
	So...
	I really, you know, this is really, we are just, we have no chance of ever winning this battle until the other side decides just to stop doing this.
	Because the subtle propaganda just never ends.
	Of global warming, you mean?
	Of the climate change thing?
	Yeah.
	Oh yeah, no, we have no chance.
	Zero chance.
	And just, you can hear it in all these, they take any story, of course, I'm just waiting for them, they're working on this thing with the starfish.
	You know, the starfish that are killing themselves.
	You just wait for them to come up with global warming as their reason.
	They just haven't been able to do it because the damn starfish are doing this everywhere.
	But let's listen to the global warming blitz and how it's just very subtle.
	They don't even make a big deal out of it.
	They don't condemn those who are skeptical or denialists and all the rest of it.
	With number one, which would be bugs in the south.
	By the way, this is a non-sequitur story because it makes no sense.
	Well, there is an upside to the extreme cold weather that many parts of the country had this year.
	It is decimating the population of destructive insects that caused more than $2 billion in losses.
	The adelgid feeds off hemlock forests in the east, gypsy moths and animals.
	Ash bores also kill millions of trees, and all of them are dying off in large numbers because of the cold.
	There is one downside, too, to all of this.
	The weather that may be causing the extreme cold is also making winters warmer, and that's letting these insects live farther north, making more of the United States vulnerable to destruction.
	Okay.
	We have noticed this, of course, being in the South.
	None of our bugs here have been surviving this extreme cold weather.
	And, God, people like my Underwood.
	And we're happy because we have no mosquitoes.
	Good.
	Move up north.
	This is a plus for us.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So then we go on to clip number two, which is, this is Diane Sawyer, and this is the clip that every local station played.
	This is ABC, and all these clips are from ABC, because ABC is all in on this stuff.
	And she's a little more bold about it, about this is the amoeba that was discovered in Russia.
	Oh, this is the 30,000-year-old virus.
	Didn't we, but this permafrost thing, this is...
	Is that the permafrost or Diane Sawyer?
	Which one am I playing?
	Diane Sawyer?
	Diane Sawyer.
	It just says Diane Sawyer.
	And now, word of a Jurassic virus locked inside a block of ice in Siberia for 13,000 years.
	Tonight it has roared back to life after researchers let it thaw.
	It is lethal if you're an amoeba.
	But scientists do not believe it's a danger to humans, though they warn today that global warming could revive other dangerous ancient diseases lurking out there in the Siberian ice.
	Get Diane on the phone right now and give her something to drink.
	The woman sounds parched.
	So because global warming is going to kill us this way.
	Because global warming is going to kill us.
	They dug up some ice cores and found this thing.
	It wasn't like it was melting.
	But anyway, but the local version of the story makes it sound as though this is happening in real time.
	And that's the one, permafrost local coverage.
	Well, from insects to viruses, the biggest virus ever discovered is awake and infectious after a 30,000-year nap deep in Siberia's permafrost.
	And the virus only infects amoebas, but the researchers who uncovered it are worried that other ancient viruses are locked into the permafrost and could be unleashed as it thaws.
	That's right.
	Global warming.
	Who says it's thawing?
	It's global warming, of course.
	Hello.
	So that's the subtext is the global warming.
	The local report was actually slicker than Diane actually coming out and saying global warming.
	Well, I'm glad you got a clip of it because I tried to find one and couldn't of the native advertising abusing global warming.
	Well, are you talking about the Chipotle clip?
	That would be the one.
	Okay, now this one here is the topper.
	This is so good.
	This is a global warming native.
	This is a triple play.
	Global warming.
	Obama bought Think Tank.
	The whole thing, well, this was a report that the company itself brought out, but this is so ludicrous that it's like, this is not a kind of a warning.
	No, no, this is not a warning that the stock people want to listen to.
	It's bullshit.
	Let's play it.
	Well, the Chipotle restaurant chain is warning its investors about the risks of global warming.
	In its annual report, the company says climate change might eventually affect the availability of key ingredients such as avocados.
	It cited a Livermore National Lab prediction that hotter temperatures will cause a 40% drop in California's avocado production over the next three decades.
	The company says that issue could eventually drive up prices and force it to take items such as guacamole off the menu.
	Oh, no!
	In 30 years, guacamole will not...
	Does anyone think Chipotle's going to be in business in 30 years?
	Talk about your forward-looking statements.
	30 years?
	This is what they sent to their investors.
	In 30 years, we may have to take...
	Come on.
	This is like Tom Collins over there at Apple.
	Tim Collins, Tom Cook, Steve...
	Steve...
	Steve Kale.
	Steve Cook.
	Steve Kale.
	This is my new guy.
	Steve Kale over there at Apple saying, if you don't believe in climate change, take your money elsewhere.
	What is that all about?
	I don't know.
	And I saw at Jason, Jason Calacanis, who doesn't know him.
	And he tweeted, that's leadership.
	Wow.
	I haven't seen leadership like that since the Democratic Convention of 49.
	What?
	Maybe Jason was being sarcastic.
	No, no, no.
	He's all in.
	Oh, come on.
	If he can blow Steve Kale, he'll blow him.
	Jason's nuts that way.
	But he's shwarmy.
	That's what Jason does.
	That's true.
	Can I... Do you have more of this?
	I'd like to...
	That's my global warming report.
	No, I like it.
	I like it.
	Very good.
	Yeah.
	It's funny because that's exactly the story that I skipped.
	Of course, you did the work.
	Great.
	This is how it comes together.
	I love that.
	I want to do the donation segment.
	And since we're on this native advertising, which is something we just do not participate in, the Huffington Post has done a couple of these.
	Headline, Taco Bell's new breakfast menu will unleash the waffle taco on America.
	Cha-ching!
	That's news.
	Or Ben and Jerry nails it with new core ice cream flavors.
	We should just do the Huntington Post report because they're all in on this.
	That's all they do.
	That's all they do.
	And by the way, when they did the article on the Oscars, they won't use the term native advertising.
	All this is product placement.
	Oh yeah, they won't say native advertising.
	Of course not.
	No, of course not.
	One of our producers just said that his firm, a...
	Very prestigious Chicago advertising firm.
	This is where the headquarters are, most of the guys.
	And by the way, this was also Chicago, the Samsung thing.
	What are those guys, the hip and happening guys?
	I don't know.
	MediaVest.
	MediaVest, that's the guys.
	But there's another Chicago, prestigious Chicago firm.
	The whole company is all about native advertising now.
	That's all that they're pitching to their clients.
	And it's great because the biggest problem we had in advertising, and I was in advertising for quite a substantial part of my life.
	Even when I wasn't in advertising, I was still a part of advertising.
	At a certain point, they had the split.
	What happened in the industry is the creative split off from the media buy.
	So whenever you see, if you ever read Advertising Age, you should just go to it for a lark.
	They'll talk about the budget.
	And the budget is always the media buy.
	And the way it works is you get a 20, you know, let's say $20 million budget for the media buy and the agency has a fee and that is typically 10%, sometimes 15, 10% of that budget.
	So that was mostly 15, but go on.
	I think it got lowered.
	That could be.
	And the creative would have to come out of that money.
	Right.
	It's not enough money.
	No.
	And there's all kinds of palms.
	You've got to grease down the line because the media buyer for the company, they're going to want sex and hookers and all kinds of stuff.
	And we've talked about those kids these days.
	Yeah, usually kids just out of school.
	They don't know anything.
	Yeah, they want tickets to the Grammys.
	So it costs a lot of money.
	And then the creative, what are we going to do?
	What are we going to do with the creative?
	And who's going to pay for it?
	Because the agency doesn't know how to charge for it.
	Now, all of a sudden, they're setting up these...
	And if you're a writer, by the way, get in.
	Because this is where the money is going to be made.
	They're going to be building...
	We're going to have a team for you.
	Listen, Samsung.
	We're going to have a team for you.
	We're going to be writing all these great articles.
	Then we're going to go out.
	We're going to do our media buy.
	Right?
	And we're going to write this...
	I mean, here's our lineup.
	Here's our slate.
	They're even calling it slate, like the movie business.
	Here's our slate of articles for you.
	Here's our slate of videos we're going to be making.
	Oh, yeah.
	So the New York Times will put them right on the page.
	They're basically becoming little creative modules.
	With their byline.
	With byline.
	Oh yeah, they get credit!
	And it's great.
	The whole industry...
	Now, it's not good if you actually want some information that's uncorrupted.
	No, if you want good, solid information that is actually...
	Forget about it.
	Uncorrupted is the only way to put it, or incorruptible.
	You're not going to get it from any of these places.
	It's like the Capital One, what's in your wallet story.
	That is not going to play on any network.
	I don't even know what their budget is.
	It's $100 million.
	They were paying Alec Baldwin $5 million a year.
	That's just one pitch guy.
	Yeah.
	So, yeah, you've got to think their budget is over $100 million.
	Yeah, it's huge.
	And that's a lot of bottom line money for any network or newspaper or magazine.
	So they are not going to mess with Capital One.
	No.
	Because Capital One, you can do it.
	I mean, you can go out and say anything you want about anybody.
	But then the plug gets pulled.
	You get called into the office by the suits and say, what are you doing to us?
	Yep.
	Can't handle this.
	Why did you do this?
	Why did you write this?
	It's not a necessary story to write.
	Well, I thought it would be protecting the public because it seems like a scam to me if you do what that Adam Curry said.
	You don't care about Adam Curry or the scam or anything.
	These guys are big advertisers and we don't want stories about them.
	No.
	You're fired.
	Yep.
	Yeah, and it's how, if you really want to, I mean, it's what you do.
	You just blanket the market with your stories, blanket them, and no one will ever do a negative story about you.
	That's why you don't hear that much about Monsanto or GE or Archer Daniel Midlands Corporation, because they sponsor all the public radio stuff.
	Yeah, they're smart.
	Yeah, exactly.
	I mean, that's where the smart guys all are.
	They're manipulating the media so the public gets nothing.
	I got this clip that I want to play before we go into the donations.
	I was actually setting up my own clip, but go ahead.
	Is it a donation clip?
	It's kind of a donation clip.
	This is the news then and now good lead-in.
	And I want to mention, this was, there was a, some guy did a documentary on Free Speech TV, and this little lead-in to the documentary, I thought was the price of admission, because it kind of says it all, and it's why it's important that people out there support the No Agenda show.
	It's serious that we get continuous support from the producers and listeners of this show.
	This was the slaughter known as the First World War.
	Sixteen millions died and twenty-one million were wounded.
	At the height of the carnage, the Prime Minister of Great Britain, David Lloyd George, had a private chat with the editor of The Guardian, C.P. Scott.
	If people really knew the truth, said the Prime Minister, the war would be stopped tomorrow.
	But of course they don't know and can't know.
	The British public were desperate for real news.
	More than half a nation flocked to see an official propaganda film, The Battle of the Somme.
	Cameras were so unusual that young troops would shout, Hello, Mum, as they marched to the front.
	And they were heard crying for their mothers as they died on the battlefield.
	This was almost never reported.
	What a nice piece of uplifting news, John.
	That's fantastic.
	I'm going to show myself all by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh yeah, that'd be crap.
	Yeah, on No Agenda.
	Alright, alright, alright!
	We'll start with the theme.
	So we got a donation from Stephen Pelsmacher for $123.33, our Grand Duke from Belgium.
	And France.
	ITM, gentlemen.
	Thanks for so many laughs and insightful analysis.
	Again, Do I have anything for divorce?
	I think any old karma would help.
	Yeah, you're probably right on that.
	Of course, Sir Pelsmokers, here you go.
	You've got karma.
	You know, it's possible that the Putin plus the karma might be divorce karma.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, if I had known that, I would have had it all queued up.
	But it would go something like this.
	Dad!
	You've got karma.
	All right.
	All right.
	That's divorce karma, then.
	Good.
	Okay.
	I hope it works.
	You know, our Grand Duke has been in this divorce.
	Can't you just chop the woman's head off already?
	Yeah, you're in Europe.
	Yeah, come on.
	You're the Grand Duke of Belgium and France.
	Off with her head, I say!
	Morgan Corkhill in Brisbane, Queensland, has a $111.11 in.
	Making it rain.
	He wants Tracy, and he likes a comedy show.
	It's the first time he donated, I guess, so he needs a de-douching.
	We're going to read a few of these since we were short today.
	De-douching, and we'll give him a George Clooney to the head and all the karma later in the show.
	De-douching would be useful.
	De-douching.
	You've been de-douched.
	George Clooney.
	Is a spy.
	I figured I'd do it anyway.
	Josh Mandel in Greenville, South Carolina, $102.03.
	He's coming to Austin next week.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's right.
	We have South by Southwest.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I've been sending you stuff.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	I think I'm coming down.
	I'm going to come down to South by Southwest.
	Oh, please.
	Yeah.
	No, you're not.
	I am.
	I'll be there.
	I'll be tweeting.
	You're not going to be.
	Yes.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Yeah, you'll be here tweeting for sure.
	Mm-hmm.
	So if you see me, say hi.
	I'll probably have to stop by the house there and cook for you.
	Yeah, well, please.
	That'd be beautiful.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And then I'll be tweeting and floating around and going to parties.
	Sounds like a really good use of my time.
	Now, hell's side, side, side, said, side.
	Yeah.
	Canceling cable altogether.
	Alright, and we have a...
	This is a...
	This one's a karma for his sons, George and Joshua.
	They turn 21.
	We don't...
	He never asks for a birthday call, but we don't have any birthday calls.
	Can we put them on?
	Uh...
	That's weird.
	How come they're not on the list?
	It doesn't say anything.
	The word birthday is what you look for when you do a search.
	And it doesn't say birthday.
	Uh...
	Yeah, but it...
	I mean, yeah, if you want Eric to read through all the things...
	Oh, there's so many of them.
	Oh, my goodness.
	If we could have blown through it, we wouldn't have caught it.
	So hard.
	Okay.
	Well, you can send him an email.
	I send it all the time.
	Okay, good.
	But he has no problem billing me.
	And then, like, we promote the bag.
	We do promote the bag.
	Yes, that's what I mean.
	That's why I promote the bag if I'm not getting it.
	You want to put it on the list or not?
	I'm writing it down.
	What are his son's names?
	What are his son's names?
	Joshua and George.
	Joshua and George.
	They must be twins.
	Turn 21.
	All right, we're on the list.
	Back Tank, $100 from La Jolla, California.
	We got some karma at the end.
	Eric Wood, Exeter, Rhode Island, $100.
	Longtime boner.
	And he's still a douche, he says.
	Charles Pearl in Chicago, Illinois.
	$100.
	He sent a note in because he mailed this $100 in.
	And I wouldn't normally...
	We don't read notes necessarily under $200 unless they're interesting or they're mailed in or something...
	This one, this is like, this guy, the only reason I'm doing this is because he's got chemtrails, a big picture of chemtrails, and then on the back, a note.
	Monitoring chemtrails from the skies of Chicago, from FEMA Region 5.
	And here's my hook or blow money from the Silk Road for the week.
	I got hit in the mouth from show 553.
	Very nice.
	Chemtrail thing at the end.
	Oh, he wants a little...
	I can do a little chemtrails.
	Chemtrails.
	There you go.
	There you go.
	Sir Dennis of Beaverton.
	Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine.
	Nine, nine, nine.
	Christian Zachman, 7777 from Lost Wages, Nevada.
	Jim Juzukal.
	And here we go.
	69. 69, dudes.
	Yay!
	We actually, after mentioning that we're only getting two and two and two, we got a bunch.
	Yeah.
	We got Sir Craig Porter from Jacksonville, Florida, Amanda Zink in Kenosha, Wisconsin.
	This shows you how behind people are sometimes.
	I think people are two, three episodes behind.
	I don't understand.
	I do.
	Just skip it and catch up.
	I know I don't get it, but people...
	They like it.
	I know they like it.
	This show is so good.
	Yeah, that they don't even care what...
	It's like being at a dinner and you take the bread and you sop up all the goo and stuff, the sauce.
	Very good analogy.
	That's our show.
	You can imagine just some guy sitting there going like, what?
	The world burned up?
	I didn't know I was two episodes behind.
	Elizabeth Borazan in Tucson, Arizona.
	I didn't mention Amanda.
	Richard Chow in Fullerton, California.
	Paul Vela in Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire.
	And that's it.
	69!
	69, dude!
	Don't get too excited.
	It's the use of the amazing free Wi-Fi, no agenda Wi-Fi at the Sheepole Airport.
	Hey, hey, hey.
	And so he gave us this money to pay for that service.
	Nice.
	Mark Krujew.
	Krujew.
	Krujew.
	He has a famous last name, by the way.
	Is it Krujew?
	Yes.
	You would maybe recognize as Krujew.
	Krujew.
	Number 14, one of the best football soccer players in the universe in the 70s, 80s.
	So Johan Krujew.
	This is Mark Krujew.
	He came in for $69 from Antwerp, Belgium.
	Okay.
	That's his third 69 donation.
	Why does Adam have such a grudge against the Netherlands?
	Grudge?
	I don't have a grudge.
	I love it when he's sharp and drives into details, but I notice that Adam's reporting about the Netherlands is often over the top and slanted.
	How about I grew up there?
	How about I know a lot of there?
	It hurts the messaging.
	His radio station got burned down there and he got thrown off the air there.
	And his wife, his first wife, had a bunch of goo on her butt because of some creepy prince.
	God.
	You told the story.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I'm not going to tell it again.
	Yeah.
	So that station that burned down, that guy now, the Secretary General of Justice...
	He's now in court for pedo-bear crimes.
	Like I said ten years ago.
	Now, what is it, seven years, six years ago.
	When they burned the radio station down, took away the license, fired me unceremoniously, called me a crazy kook.
	Well, at least you're stuck with it.
	Martin Fellner in Austria.
	Wait, you missed Jeffrey Lanchus.
	Oh, Jeffrey Leentjes in Helvetslu.
	Helvetslu.
	It sounds like he had a stroke.
	Helvetslu.
	Okay, we do have a douchebag call out for Ronald Russo.
	Douchebag!
	Please call out Ronald Russo for being a non-donating douchebag.
	Douchebag!
	Call him out twice.
	It's a double douchebag.
	Double doucher.
	Petri Stamets.
	No, Martin Fellner.
	Didn't I say Martin Fellner?
	Yeah, but you didn't do his thing right.
	You do him again.
	Martin Fellner in Austria.
	There you go.
	Cash is savings account and I got it cut.
	Or we got it cut.
	You got it cut.
	He's given the level of $100.
	I believe I... D-douching would be...
	No.
	No D-douching yet.
	Petria Stamate.
	Stamate.
	Stamate.
	I would say...
	I would say...
	Petria Stamate.
	Stamate.
	Petria Stamate.
	She's from New Jersey.
	Petria Stamate.
	Marlton.
	Chris Davidson in Bella Vista, Arkansas.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Keeping it alive.
	Nobody does double nickels on the dime anymore.
	Except Sergeant Fred.
	Sergeant Fred does too.
	He's the only two people left.
	Eric Hochul in Berlin, Deutschland.
	He says, aside note, the correct pronunciations for Iran, Iraq, and now Kiev seems to be all correct German pronunciations.
	We also got a correction for Xinjiang.
	That place in China?
	Yeah.
	Xinjiang.
	Xinjiang.
	You've got to have the cadence right.
	Xinjiang.
	Xinjiang.
	Here, square Xinjiang.
	Sir Todd Brink, New Berlin, Wisconsin, $50.65.
	Got a karma at the end.
	He wanted specifically...
	Oh, he has a fuck cancer.
	Well, give him one.
	Poor guy.
	Well, who was it for?
	His brother, Jason.
	I gotta know who to direct it at.
	Brain cancer.
	Oh, Jesus.
	I hate that shit.
	Brain cancer.
	You've got karma.
	Brain cancer.
	I hate that.
	This is a cell phone, Les.
	Herb Lamb.
	Sugar Hill, George.
	It's also named after a famous vineyard in the Napa Valley.
	$50.33.
	Stuart Fawcett in Liverpool, Merseyside.
	It's also named after a famous gang.
	The Lamb Gang?
	No, the Sugar Hill Gang.
	Oh, yeah.
	That would be.
	I was thinking Herb Lamb.
	It's the Herb Lamb Vineyard.
	Stuart Fawcett in Liverpool.
	David Zinn in Chicago, Illinois.
	These are all $50 now.
	David Zinn, Patricia Worthington in Miami Beach.
	Miami, not Miami Beach.
	Florida.
	Gerald Friedlansky in Montreal, Quebec.
	Matthew Stevens, North Richmond Hills, Texas.
	Adam Herbert in South Windsor, Connecticut.
	Bart DeWitt in Oldenzaal.
	Bart DeWitt in Oldenzaal.
	Bart DeVitt in Oldenzahl.
	There you go.
	Fifty.
	Christopher Walker, Parts Unknown.
	And let me scroll down.
	Is there any left?
	A couple.
	Yep.
	Scott S. Brooke in Royal Oak, Michigan.
	Matthew Januszewski in Chicago, Illinois.
	DeBare's Matrick Maycomb in Mount Vernon, New York, who's in again.
	Great.
	Thanks, Patrick.
	Dan Greb in Lansdale, Pennsylvania, and finally our old buddy Sir Alan Bean here in Oakland, Oakland, Oaktown, California.
	Those are our donors for show 597.
	We've got a show 600 coming up.
	If you guys have the wherewithal, you might want to think of different kinds of donations to celebrate that show.
	Go to dvorak.org slash N-A. dvorak.org slash N-A. Well, we got the big one today.
	The big one.
	Exactly that.
	Nahil...
	Nahil Saeed.
	Saeed.
	Happy birthday to his sons Joshua and George.
	They turned 21.
	Glad we caught up.
	Happy birthday from you buddies here at the Best Podcast in the Universe.
	It's your birthday, yeah.
	No turn!
	And we have no nights, no changes, no titles, no nothing.
	Because we get no native advertising.
	Native advertising would save the day.
	It sure would.
	And that's going to save the country, financially, and it'll also save the country from riots or protests or anybody saying no to the government.
	It'll be all lockstep in agreement with the police state, the security state, and all the guys that are listening in can have the best stock tips in the world and nobody cares.
	Yeah, this doesn't seem like a problem to me.
	Nah, what difference does it make?
	Since I've been tracking at the Zohydro I got a lot of notes about Zohydro.
	Zohydro is the new crazy drug.
	All the kids are talking about it.
	All the cool kids are going to take it.
	Cool.
	Now, this is from NPR. So we've already tracked Forbes magazine.
	We tracked the TV thing we had from last week.
	I can't remember.
	Well, anyway, it's native advertising, and the way they're doing it is telling you about all the things it can do, everything.
	All of the features of this drug are being reported as news.
	This drug has been, you know, the approval was more than several years ago, but of course it's hitting the market In just days, so now all of a sudden we have all this news.
	And this is, I think, the point of the newsletter that you sent out.
	We don't know anymore if this is native advertising or if this is truly a health issue that we need to be so afraid of.
	Because I don't hear people talking about Drano under the sink and all other kinds of horrible products around the house that children could take and die from.
	Drano's the best example.
	Or just any of this.
	But Zohydro, NPR, they're your man.
	The Food and Drug Administration is under enormous pressure to change its mind about a powerful new prescription painkiller.
	Powerful, powerful.
	42 public health groups are urging the FDA to withdraw its support of Zohydro.
	The drug is similar to OxyContin, except it comes in significantly higher doses.
	Now, come on!
	This is new because they were talking about it being Vicodin in higher doses.
	Now it's OxyContin in higher doses, i.e.
	heroin!
	The FDA approved Zahydro last year despite its own advisory panel voting against it, and critics are, among other things, raising questions about that approval process.
	NPR's Laura Sullivan reports.
	When Zohydro is released next month, it will be one of the most powerful prescription painkillers on the market.
	Now, this story, now we're 30, half a minute into the story.
	We don't know anything about the groups or whatever.
	We keep hearing, coming out next month, 10 times as powerful as heroin.
	Its highest dosage will contain five to ten times as much hydrocodone as the widely used Vicodin.
	There we go.
	The drug company's literature says an adult could overdose on two capsules.
	So just take one.
	A child could die from swallowing just one pill.
	People are going to die from this drug.
	Oh man, I want it now.
	Don't you want it, John?
	Look at that soundbite.
	That's all the guy said.
	People are going to die.
	Let's see if we can.
	Swallowing just one pill.
	People are going to die from this drug.
	Food time!
	Dr.
	Michael Karom is the Director of Health Research for Public Citizen.
	We are in the midst of a public health crisis.
	There is an epidemic of opioid addiction resulting in thousands of deaths.
	And the last thing we need now is another high-potent, high-dose, long-acting opioid drug, Zohydro, that will simply feed the epidemic.
	Listen, I'm sorry.
	He just gave me everything.
	That right there, that's the bumper sticker.
	It's high...
	What did he say?
	It's high dosage.
	High...
	It gave the name, everything.
	Long-acting opioid drug, Zohydro, that would feed the epidemic.
	Nice.
	Overdose deaths and addiction rates from prescription painkillers similar to Zohydro have grown dramatically in recent years.
	Carome and 41 other health care advocates are asking the FDA to remove its approval.
	Yeah, there's no details on that.
	That's all bullshit.
	So hydro is a crushable pill.
	Ah, here is the new information that had not gotten out yet with the original native advertising.
	It's a crushable pill.
	This is very important.
	Oh, this is good.
	Probably somebody went back.
	Here's the meeting.
	Here's the meeting.
	Hey, hey, hey, who's got the Zohydro account?
	I do.
	I got it.
	I got it.
	Hey, hey, hey, Pete, what's up with this, man?
	The client's up my ass.
	Up my ass because you didn't...
	It was not in place everywhere.
	No, but the whole point is the addicts need to know you can crush the snort.
	Crush the snort.
	Oh, you know, that was not in the spec.
	Are you kidding me?
	Are you kidding me?
	How many clients have we done this for?
	We all know.
	The clients, their customer wants to snort this stuff.
	Crush the snort.
	If they're too stupid to put it in the spec for the advertising campaign.
	I need to make good.
	I need to make good.
	Go past what they're already telling us to do.
	I need to make good.
	Can you, can you, who do you know?
	Can you call someone?
	I need a national exposure for this thing.
	Who can you call?
	I got people I can call.
	Where?
	She's got the Rolodex.
	You got someone?
	We'll do another round.
	It's no big deal.
	It's that easy.
	We're already short.
	A lot of the inventory is out there waiting to be used anyway.
	Get me something on NPR so I can send them an audio clip.
	We're charging a little extra for this bull crap.
	That's okay.
	We'll just put it into the creative.
	All right.
	That means it's snortable, as some experts say, more prone to abuse than other drugs.
	Oh, really?
	Some experts like your customers!
	Like the new versions of OxyContin, which are no longer crushable.
	You see, we've got to downplay the competition, because that new version of OxyContin, it's no longer crushable.
	How long can we keep this going, this crushable stuff?
	The drug company Zogenics is marketing the drug.
	There's a lot of misinformation being put out there by people.
	Get the client in on the story.
	Get the client.
	Can we get the marketing guy?
	Yeah, it's easier.
	Get the marketing guy.
	It's easier.
	They love to get on the radio.
	Can we arrange that with your NPR contacts so they can actually put the maker of the product into the ad?
	That's the no-brainer part in this.
	There's a lot of misinformation being put out there by people who don't have all the facts.
	Yeah, like those crazy conspiracy guys.
	Dr.
	Brad Gaylor is the company's chief medical officer.
	He says they will...
	Chief medical officer?
	There's a title I want for my party planning business.
	CMO. I'm chief medical...
	That's my new thing, John.
	What do you do?
	I'm chief medical officer of the No Agenda Show.
	Okay, I like it.
	Introduce a non-crushable version of Zohydro in three years.
	Oh, we got three years on this puppy!
	Three years!
	It's so hard to come up with a non-crushable.
	How do you make a non-crushable pill?
	I asked you.
	I'm asking you right now.
	I don't know.
	How does it dissolve in the stomach if it's non-crushable?
	Well, apparently...
	Well, then it's dissolvable.
	If it's dissolvable, you can dissolve it, and then you can dry the liquid, and you've got the powder right there.
	It's a no-brainer.
	It's too much work.
	Well, maybe.
	It's going to be crushable.
	You can't make non-crushable.
	The new OxyContin is non-crushable.
	So here I'm looking at, I put in, Zohydro is too easy to abuse, critics say, which is a sentence from one of the press releases.
	And here it is.
	WebMD, WDRB, CNN.com, Drugs Forum, Stepping Stone Center, CBS 12, WPEC-TV 12.
	It's like, this is everywhere, this story.
	Yeah.
	It's beautiful.
	It's a beautiful job.
	Yeah.
	I mean, this is...
	Bonanza job.
	A non-crushable version of Zohydro in three years.
	And the company will closely monitor prescription trends for abuse.
	But he says millions legitimately need this drug.
	Okay, listen.
	Let's call this meeting again.
	I got a real problem.
	The client wants a different payoff.
	They want the Oreos payoff we got for them on CNN. How come we can't get that for them here?
	What's wrong with you people?
	Don't you remember what you did?
	What?
	Oreos are just as addictive as cocaine.
	Now that's a payoff.
	Well, that's a different story, too.
	We can't do that.
	It's not going to happen.
	We'll get you coverage, the nationwide coverage.
	We'll get it in Canada.
	Oh, man.
	Emphasize Florida.
	Yeah.
	Bibi Netanyahu is visiting with the president.
	Yeah, I saw some pictures.
	Has the president got something?
	Has he got hemorrhoids or something?
	He seems to be sitting in a chair.
	All the time.
	All the time.
	And, of course, he lets Bebe talk.
	Gee, what would his message be?
	I don't know.
	I find Bibi Netanyahu to be the most annoying person ever.
	Well, we know we've already locked on to his message, and he's just here to get more of it out.
	Mr.
	President, you rightly said that Israel, the Jewish state, is the realization of the Jewish people's self-determination.
	But now he's laying out, he's rolling out the whole pitch.
	Self-determination.
	The whole pitch.
	The whole pitch, though.
	In our ancestral homeland.
	So the Palestinians expect us to recognize a Palestinian state for the Palestinian people, a nation state for the Palestinian people.
	I think it's about time to recognize a nation state for the Jewish people.
	We've only been there for 4,000 years.
	Now it's 4,000.
	It went from 38 to 4,000.
	3,800 to 4,000.
	I hope President Abbas does this.
	As I hope that he'll take seriously Israel's genuine security needs.
	Because, as you know, and I think everybody does...
	In the Middle East, which is definitely the most turbulent and violent part of the earth, the only peace that will endure is a peace that we can defend.
	And we've learned from our history, Jewish history, but I think from general history, That the best way to guarantee peace is to be strong.
	And that's what the people of Israel expect me to do.
	To stand strong against criticism, against pressure.
	Stand strong to secure the future of the one and only Jewish state.
	Okay, okay, we get it.
	Jewish state.
	What is the point of this meeting?
	To say Jewish state a whole bunch of times.
	And clearly both, none of these guys, neither of these guys are in on what's really going on.
	Please, you know you're not news.
	When the only time anyone's heard of you was on the No Agenda podcast.
	That's for sure.
	Come on, you're not doing your job.
	You gotta get on that Zohydro campaign, people.
	I think it's time that Israel spent some real marketing money.
	They're spending marketing money, but the problem is I think their agency is stale.
	You know, this is the thing I always tell companies.
	We've got to go in with some new creative and steal the account.
	This is the way it always works.
	Public relations folks hate me because I say this commonly.
	So I say, well, I've got this PR agent.
	What do you think of him?
	I say, well, I'll tell you.
	Let me give him my opinion about the public relations game.
	You hire somebody and you get your best work from them in the first three months.
	They take the good guy that they put on your campaign and I guarantee within three months, if not sooner, they pull the guy and No, wait, wait.
	First, there's the introduction around month two.
	Hey, I want to introduce you to Tom over here.
	He's coming along.
	He's just going to observe for a little bit.
	And we're not charging you for the extra guy on the account.
	We just wanted Tom to kind of get comfortable with the account.
	And then, of course, we had the transition in month three to Tom.
	Tom ends up with the account.
	Tom's incompetent.
	Right.
	Of course.
	He's just a guy whose job it is to hang on to the account for as long as he can and just keep taking money from the client.
	Some of these guys are specialists at it.
	They have a lot of meetings.
	They write a lot of memos.
	They give you a lot of statistics.
	It looks like they're doing something.
	No.
	Fire the agency in 60 days and hire a new agency.
	And tell them that you didn't like your other agency.
	They sucked.
	They didn't do a very good job.
	Here's what they got for us.
	Can you do better?
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	We can.
	We'll put our best people on it.
	And so they put their best people on it and you get some good publicity.
	And then you fire them and hire a third one.
	Now, this works less and less because all these guys have consolidated.
	Yeah.
	So now, you know, the agencies all work for the same WPP, Omnicon, or whatever.
	Omnicom, with a meme.
	Con, that's what it really is.
	That's why I can't stop saying it.
	I'm sorry, yes.
	So, they will get the word now.
	If you're going to, this fucking guy, he's like firing and hiring and firing and hiring.
	He stinks.
	Yeah.
	This guy is going to use your best people up and then just throw you away like a wet dish rag.
	Screw him.
	Don't take the account.
	Tell him you thought they were doing a fine job and they should stay with them.
	And now you can't do that so much.
	But there's enough little independent guys out there.
	You can do it with them if you can find some that are talented.
	You can probably do it through about five.
	There's also the classic, yeah, I'm starting my own agency.
	And here's Tom who will be replacing me.
	But I'd love to have coffee with you.
	That's the classic where you steal the client.
	That's less and less because of these big companies that own all these guys.
	They pay well.
	Now that I think about it, of course, once again, we're stupid because we haven't even talked today once about the fact that we only, well, you did briefly, but we're only three episodes away from 600 600 shows?
	The big 600 shows.
	Holy crap!
	But we are missing such an opportunity.
	We would be so good.
	You're a great writer.
	I'm a pretty good producer.
	We should just be doing native advertising campaigns all the time.
	I think we can bring ourselves to it.
	That's the problem.
	Oh, well, I'd have to give up everything else.
	It depends on the money.
	You know, I don't know.
	Here's the way I'm looking at it, because I know a guy who was an editor at a major publication who quit to work for Edelman to do native advertising writing.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	Because he's going to get paid more.
	Have you seen Girls?
	The HBO hit series Girls?
	A couple times.
	Alright, what is the Ruben S girl?
	She's now working in native advertising.
	It's what she does.
	I didn't follow that very closely.
	Leah, whatever her name is.
	No, that's not her name.
	Leah's her real name, isn't it?
	She's the producer.
	Yeah, I don't think that's her real name.
	Yeah, it's Leah.
	No, it's not.
	It's not Leah.
	Yeah, Leah.
	No, it's Nancy.
	No, no.
	Maybe her stage name's Nancy, but her name's Leah, I think.
	I could be wrong.
	Whatever the case, who cares?
	I have an important question to ask you.
	This is what's going on.
	The whole world's being taken over by this crap.
	They promised it.
	These PR people used to gloat about, everything's from us anyway, so...
	There it is.
	All right, I have a serious question before we end the show.
	Publishers are responsible.
	Go on.
	All right.
	Miss Meek and I will be celebrating our fifth anniversary together in April.
	Since we started our relationship, the only time we have been away together, not just for a rest, has been never.
	It's always been...
	Bullcrap?
	No, it's not bullcrap.
	You went to the island at one time?
	What island?
	Some island.
	What island?
	You did the show from there?
	Yeah, but thank you.
	That's my point.
	Doing the show.
	We have not actually had...
	Oh, you mean not do the show?
	I'm asking if we can have a meeting about having one Sunday off.
	I don't know if you can handle it.
	You're the one that really needs to do the show.
	Listen, she wants to take me to this place in Mexico.
	Ooh.
	I know.
	Donkey show?
	I'm hoping.
	The donkey.
	It's called Blue Fox, I believe, outside of T-Walk.
	And she's looked at it, and because of, you know, it's only an hour and a half to fly to Mexico, but you can't fly on a Sunday after the show.
	Right.
	And it's all, it's really complicated, and then to get back...
	So you don't want to take show 600 off?
	No, no, no.
	I'm requesting a meeting, if it will be possible, to have Sunday, April 20th off.
	Now, I have to explain five.
	You know what five is?
	Five is a significant anniversary.
	It's wood.
	Probably the last wood you'll get.
	Right.
	The material writes itself in this particular case.
	So if you don't mind, I'd like to discuss, because we would actually like to leave on Friday and go for a couple days through the Sunday, not have to work, not have to do the show, do some wood celebration with the donkeys.
	Just think about it.
	Yeah, I'm thinking.
	You know, it's like this is the one time in five...
	We really need some...
	We need some us time.
	Yeah, okay.
	Yeah, we'll chat.
	You know, I'm amenable to different approaches to this.
	Yeah, and maybe...
	Maybe our clip guy can put his clip show together.
	That wouldn't hurt.
	Yeah, you just...
	I'd like to run something.
	Well, I also thought maybe if we took one Sunday off, people would realize how crappy it is if we're not there.
	Well, the clip show would probably make up for it.
	I don't think people should begin to realize such things.
	Because I'm not here to torment and torture our contributors, producers, and listeners.
	No, I understand.
	But we've done Hot Pockets tours.
	Yeah, I know.
	We've done a lot.
	We've continuously worked during vacations.
	I will say I got one show off for the wedding.
	Yeah, it wasn't necessary.
	But, you know, Miss Mickey's working really hard.
	She's done her art show here, and she needs a break.
	And she's trying to make up the shortfall with selling stuff.
	Uh-huh.
	So...
	That was it.
	I consider it a threat, but okay, go on.
	Hey, you want to come?
	No, I do not want to go to Mexico.
	You don't want to see the donkey show?
	Ah, the donkey show, the donkey show.
	There's other aspects of that show that are apparently quite entertaining.
	All right, wrap us up here, Jean-Claude.
	What you got?
	You want to play One to Get Out or you want to go?
	I can play the one.
	I think we can play this.
	I think we've got to wrap up on Venezuela.
	People want to talk about that.
	It's a pretty good one from France 24, but I want to play that.
	I'd rather play.
	We'll talk about Venezuela, folks, eventually.
	ABC's report on the Queen.
	Ah, this is going to be good.
	Is this a Diane Sawyer?
	Oh, yes.
	Oh, well, hello.
	That's not just ABC. That's Diane.
	And someone got a kind of royal reality check today.
	The Queen of England and her family.
	A scolding new report warning them to start tightening the belt.
	They have apparently run through a fortune.
	Here's ABC's Terry Moran.
	Think of the British royal family and you think of opulence and grandeur and magnificent events.
	You'd never believe they're nearly broke, but they are.
	Well, not them personally, but the royal household, the official department that runs all their palaces and properties, 360 buildings, thousands of employees.
	A scathing report in the British Parliament found that the Queen's public accounts are down to less than a couple of million bucks.
	Privately, she's still fabulously rich, but her public finances and her palace are a mess.
	Buckingham Palace looks great on the outside, but behind the scenes, this place is in desperate need of repairs.
	The roof is leaking, central heating needs replacing, and chunks of stone are falling off the building, endangering members of the royal family.
	The report demanded that the queen and her family tighten their belts and find ways to make more money, like by bringing more paying tourists into Buckingham Palace.
	Only open 78 days a year now.
	In contrast, the White House is open all year round.
	The Queen's defenders say the royals make Britain billions every year in tourism, and that Elizabeth herself is a frugal housekeeper.
	At night, for looking around the palace, and if there's some lights on, she goes and switches them off.
	She could always hock the jewelry.
	Is that ABC World News tonight?
	Yes.
	That's great.
	Well, that was native advertising, if I ever heard it.
	It probably was, and we now know that the queen switches off the lights herself.
	Yeah, I've been to one of her palaces.
	I agree, it's a dump.
	Is it?
	Yeah, it's a dump.
	Really?
	Yeah, they have a towel dispenser on the wall so you can't rip it off, you know?
	Can't take soaps or anything.
	They've got no...
	A few will grab souvenirs left and right if they go inside.
	Isn't that kind of the point?
	Yeah.
	You should have these souvenirs meant to be stolen.
	That's what you're supposed to do.
	Yeah, honestly stolen from the queen's palace.
	Exactly.
	All right, everybody.
	We will have another show on Sunday, and I'm sure we'll have lots more to see.
	We have some entries into the Red Book.
	What will happen with the Ukraine, Russia...
	Venezuela.
	Scull of Bones.
	Yeah, Venezuela.
	Exactly.
	Scull of Bones.
	Scull and Bones.
	The Yalies.
	The Yalies and the Kales.
	And you know that you can always come to No Agenda to get that unfettered, free-of-bull-crap native advertising.
	It's everywhere now.
	It's everywhere.
	It's a plague.
	It's a plague, it is.
	Here in FEMA Region 6, in the capital of the drone star state, Austin, Texas.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where we're three shows away from show 600.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll be back on Sunday right here on No Agenda.
	The best podcast in the universe.
	Who does?

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