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May 16, 2013 - No Agenda
02:50:39
513: Pre-Dead
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Time Text
All you guys are just a bunch of skeptics, jerk-offs.
Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
It's Thursday, May 16, 2013.
Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination, Episode 513.
This is No Agenda.
This is No Agenda.
Enjoying my pre-paranoia diagnosis here in the Travis Heights Hideout, where SoCo meets MoFo in Austin Tejas in the morning, everybody.
I'm Adam Curry.
And from Northern Silicon Valley, where it's Northern Silicon Valley, I'm John C. Devorak.
It's Craig Vaughn and Buzzkill in the morning.
Wow!
Woo-hoo!
That was one of the tightest openings we've ever done.
Huh.
Except you said whatever you said twice, but otherwise, tight.
Yeah, but it was tight.
It was tight.
It was tight.
Can we have a little meeting right here at the start of the show?
Okay.
Dame Lizzie.
You're familiar with Dame Lizzie's work?
Yeah.
Shut up, slave!
This is Dame Lizzie's work.
So she's checked back in with our new slogan, but I have three versions and I'm not sure which one we need to use.
So I think I know which one I like best.
What is our new slogan?
No agenda like a kick to the crotch!
It's not our new slogan.
Yes, it is.
It's like a kick to the crotch.
That is definitely our new slogan.
So, by the way, I think her handler is working on her.
Here's her handler.
Take it a little bit slower.
There you go.
Ready?
This is take two.
No agenda, like a kick to the crotch.
And then we have the third one.
No agenda show, like a kick to the crotch.
The third one.
Third one?
That's what I thought.
Okay.
Third one is it.
Good.
Good, good, good, good, good.
That is our new slogan, isn't it?
I thought that was in the previous meeting.
I think it's usable.
Anything happen?
No, not really.
It was a...
I think a lot of these things have been dragging on.
I did get a funny little thing, though, on the Benghazi deal I didn't pick up on until I was listening.
In fact, again, I was just, I was going to make this a drunk or not drunk clip.
Okay.
But I started, it's a Peter King.
Oh, yeah.
And I couldn't tell if he was...
I concluded that when you watched him, he looked drunk, but when you listened to him, actually, he seemed like Peter King.
Let's do the jingle anyway.
Drunk or not drunk.
Okay, just two.
All right.
So, but as I listened to him, there was a little tidbit in there that I... Maybe you caught it when it came around, but I don't remember it.
But it seemed as though...
Well, play the clip, and then we'll talk about the tidbit.
...after he left the CIA. And it was reported in the media that he said that from the very first moment he believed this was a terrorist attack.
And obviously we know what the State Department people on the ground said that it was a terrorist attack.
I believe that there was a narrative put out by the White House early on which has worked its way in from the start because Petraeus himself said later on he thought it was terrorists from the start.
We know from the testimony of the people on the ground that they thought it was terrorists.
We know that Ambassador Stevens thought it was a terrorist attack.
So again, I think this raises questions about the CIA. And also you have Mike Morrell making these changes apparently over the objections of David Petraeus, who's the director.
So how does Morrell, the number two guy, get to make the changes when the director thinks that these changes should not be made?
There does seem to be some discrepancy there, but it also seems, I mean, to ask you the question, are we ever going to find out who put those words in spontaneously inspired by protests at the U.S. Embassy in Cairo?
Because, of course, by this trail, it appears that that is what the CIA was done with and handed over for conversation.
So it appears to back up the White House's assertion that that came from the CIA. I did see this, and when he said, when Peter King talked about the number two guy overruling David Petraeus, I thought that smoke was going to come out of Burnett's ears for a moment there.
In fact, she was probably getting instructions.
That's why it took her a while to respond.
Could be.
She definitely never even wanted to talk about it.
No.
But it seems to me, for one thing, it's kind of coincidental that this guy, the number two guy who ended up taking over for a little short time, was on board with whatever the program was.
Petraeus was not.
And Petraeus, then, next thing you know, he's ousted.
Yeah, gee.
We've almost forgotten about that.
He's actually the honest man here, for all we know.
Oh, I think he is.
There's a lot going on.
Well, I mean, honest.
As honest as you can get.
He's relative.
When you have a 35 motorcycle motorcade, you know, you've got bitches everywhere.
I mean, yeah, it's like within reason of what it is.
Because all these guys are insane.
They're all just out of control, complete whack jobs.
And so many guys have retired from the armed forces.
We've been tracking this.
Major generals retiring without a huge party.
It's not done in the regular world.
There's supposed to be flyovers, F-16s, 3,000 gun salutes.
They're like, I'm just retiring.
See you later.
Goodbye.
I'm out of here.
But this is related, I believe, and you can put this in the book.
This IRS gate thing, this is a setup.
This is a setup of massive magnitude, and the majority of Republicans are walking right into the trap.
So this, for those of you who haven't been following, it turns out, gee, who figured the Internal Revenue Service, the tax collection and enforcement arm of the United States of Gitmo Nation government, It has been targeting groups.
And of course, this is nothing new.
This goes on in every country.
I've had it happen to me everywhere that I've lived.
In the UK, but particularly the Netherlands, where it was used to shut me up.
Because I was a pain in the ass to the aviation community, to the established aviation community.
It gets used everywhere.
This is nothing new.
And I will remind you that in 2010, the Internal Revenue Service decided that their agents needed to have Remington shotguns.
So they're armed.
These guys are very, very armed.
And they can cause a lot of trouble to your life.
I am not afraid of any organization...
In the United States, except for the IRS, because they have so much power.
They can freeze your bank accounts.
They can walk right into your home, essentially.
They can do whatever they want.
They're the collection arm of the mob, of the organized mob.
And for this singling out of Tea Party non-profits and for extraneous Questioning and making the process very difficult, which I'm not against, by the way.
I think we have a culture of non-profits in this country which is out of control.
It has to stop.
Everyone's got a freaking non-profit.
I'm starting one.
No, you can't.
Sorry.
You're starting one.
The only way to go.
In Austin, I will say, there's a lot of...
It's like, hey, Ms.
Mickey and I went to a thing yesterday.
A local art gallery, but really cool, and she knows the guy very well, and so we're talking, and the guy introduces himself to us, and we got introduced to him.
He's like, yeah, I know.
I put on shows, and it's a non-profit for Austin Game and Wildlife.
And so, of course, the next question is, give me some of your art so we can display it for a good cause.
And I'm sick and tired of this crap.
I'm sick and tired of all these non-profits.
Because it's all one or two person companies who don't want to pay tax, who wind up producing events for big companies.
Am I right or right?
This is what it is.
That's why I want to start one.
It's an insult.
I don't understand what your problem is.
Let me move on to the real issue.
So this is not an unknown thing that this has been going on since 2010, probably.
2011.
This is known.
This has been brought to the attention of members of Congress.
This is, all of a sudden now, we have some very interesting events.
We have, on Friday, a conference call that takes place where the IRS decides it's a good idea to admit to this.
Okay?
So, hold on.
Please, stop for one moment.
This Lois, her name, forget her last name.
She decides it's a great idea to say, oh, by the way, we really apologize for doing this.
Now, you don't, I don't care.
Certainly the IRS, you just don't do this.
You don't say to journalists, Ah, gee, I'm really sorry.
We did something highly illegal, potentially illegal.
We're sorry.
And then we have this whole brouhaha.
The president's like, oh, I'm going to get to the bottom of this.
I'm angry.
I'm outraged.
And then we make the guy who was set to retire in June anyway, the Acting Commissioner.
He's not like a confirmed dude.
The Acting Commissioner of the IRS, who wrote a letter to his IRS employees saying, gee, you know, my term's coming to an end.
Sorry, I gotta go, but nice working with you.
It's tough times for the IRS. The President...
Says, oh, I asked for his resignation and he gave it to me.
The guy, or his term ended.
My favorite, have you seen pictures of this guy?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He looks like a character.
Oh, yeah.
And you can't find, he's not even in the book of knowledge.
No.
No, he's just like, hey, I did my job.
That's right.
Stephen T. Miller is his name.
You can't find the guy.
You go to the IRS wiki page, everyone has an entry except for this guy, page not found.
He's been in the IRS coincidentally at the harassment department.
Anyway, let me tell you what's going on here.
So Benghazi is the real, true, only scandal that is taking place, and we know why, because it was a setup.
The setup was to have the ambassador kidnapped and for the president to, you know, command the troops and all the resources of the United States and save them in time for the elections, and it was going to be kind of his throwback to the Carter situation.
To the Carter days and fix everything and make it all great.
And we had the Argo movie.
Everything was planned perfectly.
And I'm still convinced Ambassador Stevens knew about this.
And something goes horribly wrong.
I think that someone didn't clue in the CIA guys who were there.
Which may be why Petraeus had to go.
Or maybe why he was overruled.
Because the CIA guys were fighting back.
At this CIA place.
It was not a consulate.
It was a CIA annex.
So this is the real scandal, and the reason why this IRS thing is now pushed to the front is because what will come out, and it's Max Baucus, I will point out, who will be running the investigation, Democrat, Democrat Senator.
It will come out that the Republicans were doing this because the true grand old party, the Republicans, they're the ones that needed to hijack the Tea Party movement.
We recognize this almost from the get-go.
When the Tea Party first started splintering, because the original Tea Party was Ron Paul.
A couple of our nights were original Tea Partiers.
And this thing was going off the rails real fast with some of these politicos getting involved.
In fact, running some candidates up in the New England area and losing.
Yeah.
And then you had these commercial operations like Tea Party Express is one of them.
There's a couple others.
It just looked like the whole thing was co-opted.
And it was.
And the original, it was originally kind of a, it wasn't even a drinking club.
It was Ron Paul's Boston Tea Party.
That's how it started.
And everything was about Ron Paul.
Yeah.
And then the Republicans had to stop that.
Right.
So you'll notice they didn't stop the Tea Party Express.
They went at the Republicans in Congress.
I guarantee you this is going to come out.
This will be the death knell for the 2014 elections.
And it's going to come out slowly.
This is why you see...
Issa knows.
He knows.
I'm sure he may be complicit.
And he's trying to back off a little bit.
He's continuously trying to steer towards anything but the IRS gate, if you will.
It's going to come out that it was Republicans in Congress who suggested or asked the IRS to create this BOLO list.
I love the name.
BOLO. The Be on the Lookout.
The BOLO list.
For words like patriot, make the country better, for the true Americans who really care.
This is what's so disgusting about the whole thing, is that regardless of whether you think it was the Democrats, the President, and I'm convinced it was the Republicans themselves, these guys, they're elitist a-holes themselves, and they wanted to stop any true patriotic movement.
Movement.
True patriotic movement.
And they're the ones that went after all of these small groups, which you'll see are two- and three-man non-profit shops who really, really thought they were part of something trying to change the process in the previous two elections, but certainly the previous election.
And they will burn for it.
They will burn for it.
This is not...
The White House.
Of course, the White House is always involved in crap like that, but this is a setup from this president who all of a sudden is like, oh, we got to get to the bottom of it.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you bet we're going to get to the bottom, and you'll see, it's the Republicans.
That's a good one.
I'm convinced.
And I agree with the basic thesis because the Republicans do not like these Tea Partiers because they're used as a straw man by the Democrats, too, as like, oh, look at these guys, they're racist and all Republicans are racist.
I mean, it just doesn't fit into the scheme of things.
Exactly, exactly.
And it never has, and right from the beginning when it was a Ron Paul movement, and then you'd go to, you'd watch a CPAC meeting, and they'd have a straw poll who they think should be president.
It was always Ron Paul.
Yep.
Every time, except this last time.
Gee.
And so every time Ron Paul was, so Ron Paul had, he was like messing up the place by being, you know, talking about the Tenth Amendment and about, you know, about various, uh, I'm convinced if they don't already know,
they're going to know.
And they're going to be let into the game.
They have to be.
They're going to be let into the game.
They're the ones that go to the special meetings.
Yes, and you put it in the book.
I know I sound crazy.
I'm the guy who called the Pope and all this stuff.
So I know I sound crazy.
You might want to slip it in the book because this will come out.
I got it in there and I got your initials.
The party insisted that they revise the criteria that the IRS was using to make it more ideologically neutral.
Six months later, in January of this past year, the IRS again revised its criteria that it was using to decide on what level of scrutiny these different groups would get.
And this, we learned today, was the new criteria they started using as of January of last year.
I wanted to put it up on the screen so you can see it for yourself in terms of the actual language that we've got about it.
This is being widely described today in the reporting on this scandal as being a set of criteria that obviously still targeted conservatives.
I don't actually read it that way at all.
I mean, if you're going after groups that are talking about either limiting or expanding government, it kind of seems to me that is ideologically neutral and therefore proper.
Okay, so she says limiting or spending.
She has the thing up on the screen.
She doesn't read the next clause in the sentence, which says, and educate the public about the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
Exactly.
Which is totally what everybody's against.
Yeah.
We don't want that.
We can't have that happening.
Are you insane?
We can't have people understanding what their rights are.
No, no, no, no, no.
We'll have none of that.
No, we can't have any of that.
That would be a huge mistake.
I'm watching this, listening to her, I'm going, what?
Does anybody buy into this crap of this woman?
Yes, no.
Oh, God, John.
We don't have a dinner party.
We do have a dinner party coming up, I think the 26th, at the brain surgeon's house, the brain professor's house.
It'll be phenomenal to hear it.
I mean, and you've got, and the whole thing is just, I got a clip from, this is pretty funny, the Julian Bond, he's the, is he the chairman of the NAACP? He's been involved in all this.
He used to be the, I think he was the mayor of Atlanta.
He's a very famous politician from Georgia.
Oh, he is a politician, though.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, here's what he had to say about the Tea Party.
Chairman Baum, what do you think that the fallout will be for the Obama administration, especially during a time where the Tea Party had maybe lost a little air?
Do you think that this is going to help inflate that, especially as we ramp up to the midterms for 2014?
I hope not.
I hope they don't get any more air.
You know, they are the Taliban wing of American politics, and we all ought to be a little worried about them.
Sir, do you think that's a little harsh, calling them the Taliban wing of American politics?
Not at all.
Not at all.
The truth may hurt, but it's the truth.
That's right.
That's great.
That, to me, is like, that's a dude.
Yeah, they're blowing stuff up.
He does not give a crap.
Suicide bomber department.
He does not give a crap, that guy.
Yeah, no, that's the truth hurts, man.
The Taliban.
The truth hurts us.
Fabulous.
Absolutely.
Do you think you're being over the top here?
No, not at all.
Oh, okay.
Right on target.
Nailed it.
Hey, what's with the...
This happened again.
Since everyone's under investigation these days, what's with the weird PayPal messages that are popping up when people donate to the show?
I don't know.
Did you see the email this morning?
Yeah, there's another one that came in.
So people donate to the show and then it says, they get a message which says, your donation is being reviewed for compliance with regulations.
Could take 24 to 72 hours.
Well, I mean, what you'd think of normally with PayPal is that they're just doing something to hold on to the money so they can collect some interest.
But I think this has something to do with this IRS investigation.
It has to.
Well, I think, isn't the word donation like a big flag now?
It's not a problem, even though, of course, we pay taxes.
We're not a non-profit.
Because it's called a donation, is that an issue?
I think we're going to change the, well, they don't have any buttons for contributions.
It's just donation.
Yeah, they have a donate button, a subscribe button, and that's about it.
A pay button.
I think we could change the buttons to pay or something like that.
I mean, we don't use the buttons, of course.
We use email links.
Right, but the PayPal system calls it a donation, so it doesn't matter what your button is called.
Right, and I've been told by the guys who are there that know about what we're doing, oh, don't worry about it.
They keep saying that to me.
Don't worry.
Don't worry about it.
We know what you're up to.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Yeah, when a pilot says, watch this, it's kind of the same thing.
I'm telling you, we're getting audited.
For sure.
I've been audited so many times, it's funny at this point.
My wife does a job on, she puts like, the way our books are done is she's got post-it notes and paper clips and all kinds of just tons of excess information that she's always ready for it.
We can prove that.
And then the key to success with getting audited is actually, even though you lose some money in the deal, Never meet the real requirement.
Don't actually do your taxes with all the deductions you really have coming to you.
No, that would be wrong.
You can't be on the money.
You've got to always let something slide.
So then when they audit you, they find those things and you get money.
So they say, oh, you've paid too much taxes.
Then they have to write you a check and the guy who did the audit, I honestly, to God, believe he gets chewed out.
It could be.
They think that they're going to lose money on an audit.
They're not auditing.
So that's what you do.
You keep yourself on the other side of the fence.
I used to be in the system, which I think I was just stupid doing it, with tax lawyers and accountants and everything.
And now, of course, I never had a really complicated...
When I had a lot of money, it was made complicated for me by other people.
I said, oh, we've got to take care of this.
You probably didn't take all your deductions.
No, not only did I not take my...
No, no, I was like, whatever.
No, of course not.
But my tax attorneys and accountants and everyone, they got totally paid for everything.
It turns out later they didn't do some things which screwed me over royally.
However, now I just do it with TurboTax.
You know, the thing that Timothy Geithner, our previous Treasury Secretary, couldn't figure out.
And then you, and I think that's, is that now owned by H&R Block?
I have no idea.
Intuit, yeah.
And then you file electronically, and then for an extra, like, 20 bucks, you get audit insurance.
So if you get audited, then they will send a guy to your house, and they'll have some slavelet for some intern who will come.
At least you get an intern who will come over and can help you out.
But it's real simple.
We don't have a very complicated structure.
Do they help you out with your taxes, too?
No, no, no.
There am I. Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I was thinking something else.
Go on.
Very funny.
Yeah.
But I've gotten in really serious trouble.
Three times in my life, I've had my bank accounts frozen.
And by the way, I've always gotten acquitted, if you will.
So first time in Jersey, wow, that was in the 90, maybe it was like 91 or something.
And all of a sudden, my bank card didn't work.
And I go in and say, wow, that's really weird.
All your money's been transferred to this weird account with all these nines.
Well, what is that?
And it turns out IRS account.
And then I call the IRS and like, you know, you had to fill out.
I don't remember what it was, but there was some form I hadn't filled out or sent in.
And I said, yeah, but you know, you took my money.
He said, yeah, we got your attention, didn't we?
Yeah, they always have that.
That sounds right.
Yeah.
More bureaucrats.
And then in the Netherlands, I had this whole helicopter thing.
You're just a troublemaker there.
I am.
No, a big mouth.
You get a big mouth, and they froze all my accounts, seized houses, cars, everything.
And the only lucky thing is that it was against me and my ex-wife at the time had a bank account in her own name so we had money, we could actually get money from the ATM. And it took like a year.
And then when finally they had to admit that they were wrong, that of course was not front page news.
And then in the United States, and this was what really screwed me forever.
So apparently they couldn't find any filings on me for the 10 years that I lived abroad.
And I think we've told the story before.
They came into the office at Mevio at San Francisco because all of a sudden they started showing up on payroll with their hands on their guns looking for me.
And they garnished my wage, which basically meant I got no paycheck.
And they put a $180,000 tax lien on me, which, of course, after another eight or nine months, and I was living in London still at the time and commuting, so it was a real problem.
I finally got that lifted, but that stays on your record, you see.
So whenever someone goes and looks at my, by the way, it's FICO, my FICO score, not FICA, but FICO. We said that incorrectly on the previous episode.
If you go look at my credit report, you'll see tax lien, $187,000.
Oh, that probably gives you big numbers.
It gives me...
Shit is what it gives me.
But it won't...
And I said, hey, this was...
I didn't even...
I didn't pay it.
Didn't have to pay it.
It was removed.
After I said, okay, everything's all right.
But that stays on there until...
It'll be there until 2017.
It's crazy.
This is the problem that we have right now.
These are dossiers.
They're full of crap.
The information is no good.
It says, because it has a little asterisk and explanation, the lien has been removed or paid or satisfied, because of course they don't have any information, which makes it look like you had this huge tax problem.
Yeah, that you had to pay off probably with drug money.
Yeah, exactly.
With Bitcoin.
Exactly.
So I guess Bitcoin, as a segue, Bitcoin is, I guess, under attack by the government.
Yeah, and it's interesting that the price of Bitcoin is going up.
I don't see the rationale for this.
I don't either.
Now, I know there was a strategy a while ago that was going to be, oh, you know, because this is a Japanese firm.
It's not Bitcoin.
It's the major exchange, Mt.
Gox.
Mt.
Gox, yeah, who apparently is the only exchange.
They're the ones who set the prices.
It's probably just sent by some guy in the morning.
I think it should be $120 today.
It's not the only exchange.
Don't send emails, please.
John at Dvorak.org.
You know what?
I'm sick and tired of getting...
Please, if you have an issue with donations, with your ring, John at Dvorak.org.
Not to me.
I'm sick and tired of it.
I take care of all the other bull crap.
I'll tell you right now, anyone who has a problem with me right now, send a message to Adam at Craig.com.
He's the only one with any influence over what I do.
No, this is true.
Thanks, buddy.
So you're talking about the royalty that you're always hounding in the Netherlands.
So I'm watching on C-SPAN. The Queen opens Parliament every year, and this is her 60th anniversary.
She opens the Parliament.
She walks in.
She goes into the House of Lords.
And everybody crowds in from the House of Commons into the House of Lords.
And they all listen to her read of what her government's going to do this year, as if it all is going to pass.
Yes, yes.
And it goes on and on as she comes wandering.
She runs the show.
Yeah, she runs the show.
Yeah, I know.
This actually shows that she runs the show, the way she does it.
And she has a laundry list of things she wants to accomplish, and she expects Parliament to do this.
And everyone still says, oh, that's just ceremonial.
Dream on, slave!
If you listen to what she says, it's anything but ceremonial.
These are detailed things that she's commanding them to do.
What?
Thanks, the Majesty, and says goodbye.
No, wait, stop.
Stop the clip.
Sorry.
I've got to set this clip up.
So anyway, this goes on and on, and then she leaves.
Now, she leaves, and this clip is her leaving, and she's getting in this horse carriage, which is like, you guys modernize this.
Which is made of gold, I might point out.
It's a big gold carriage.
Gold and diamonds.
But there's a guy shouting orders and he sounds like an idiot.
And then they play these horns that tell the locals that the Queen is leaving the Westminster.
And I'm listening to this thing.
It's Westminster, not minister.
Whatever.
Yeah, it is minster, I know.
But I don't know why.
It's just one of those little things I keep saying.
Anyway, so she leaves, and this is like, is she tone deaf?
Does she hear what they're playing?
Just play this out completely, and tell me that there's something wrong with this picture.
Thanks, the Majesty, and says goodbye.
Hey! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
So,
the royal salute is That sounded.
Telling the world that the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh are ready to leave the Palace of Westminster.
I got you some lessons.
I mean, did you hear that?
Yeah.
I mean, it sounds like a kid, like a ten-year-old.
It actually, it reminded me, when I was listening to it, it reminded me of a very old television show.
See if you recognize it.
Have you ever seen this?
Have you ever seen Ivanhoe?
I think so, yes.
This used to be on when I was a kid.
Ivanhoe!
I'm a hoe!
I'm a hoe!
They should have gotten the horn guy from Ivanhoe.
That would have been better.
Instead of this off-key thing.
Yeah.
And it was a salute to the Queen.
It's like, you know, what kind of a salute is this?
Speaking of salutes, Ms.
Mickey received an email from one of our female, well, actually one of our producers here in Austin, and his wife is obviously a producer, and he was thanking you indirectly.
So here's how this goes.
Mickey is like, oh, Adam, come here!
And she's in the living room, and I'm in the studio, of course.
Where I always am, working.
And I'm like, oh, what's that?
I thought something was on TV. He says, ah, let me read this email.
I'm not going to say who it was, just because I don't know if I was supposed to tell you.
He says, you know, the producer is very, very happy about John's recommendation that if women don't want to get saggy boobs, they should not wear a bra.
Because she has stopped wearing a bra.
And he was very happy that not only was she going to maintain her pert and perky boobs, But she wasn't wearing a bra, so congratulations on that.
Which is the perfect segue?
We're here to serve.
Which is the perfect segue?
So, Angelina Jolie, this is very interesting to me.
Could you look up the definition of mastectomy?
By the way, my wife, who you notice, is on Facebook a lot.
She's apparently in a huge rumble.
Oh, really?
With the women that are...
A Facebook fracas?
It's a Facebook fracas.
So I've spoken to a number of women who came to me unsolicited.
Because, of course, I am not properly equipped to really have this conversation.
By the way, the definition of the word mastectomy is the surgical removal of one or both breasts partially or completely.
This is not entirely what Angelina Jolie had done.
And here at 100% of the women, who I will say are no agenda listeners, who approached me in person, email or otherwise, about this said, yeah, she got a boob job.
And this is how she's playing it.
Yeah.
Now, you've got to be very careful with the cancer card.
Because, oh, it's like, oh, the cancer.
But my mom died of cancer.
One of my dear friends died in 1999 of breast cancer.
Breast cancer is everywhere.
And I have my own thoughts about where it comes from and what the cancer industry is doing about it.
But this, besides the fact that there was no reason for this to be published at this moment in time, and oh, by the way, she's also on the cover of Time magazine, which comes out Friday, which is, wow, really?
This op-ed in the New York Times.
I mean, it's almost...
If I'm cynical, which, gee, I am, and the White House is seeing all this crap coming down, and then, hey, what are we going to do?
I mean...
You've got something going on and you need a distraction.
Call Clooney.
Call Clooney.
And Clooney goes, dude, I got nothing.
I got nothing.
Call Angelina.
That's the only thing I can think of that this had to happen right now.
If she truly wanted to bring some awareness, this is the worst possible time to do it.
Because you have no coverage in the news, really in the right light, and you're going to get snowed under.
It's there briefly.
I will say it worked perfectly because, boy, did the news cycle change for a couple hours there.
Oh, my God.
Henley and Julie had her tits cut off, but she didn't.
They've been remade by her own admission, and it's crazy.
The doctor who did this has blogged all over his blog about this.
She had it done at the patient's journey.
I mean, the whole thing is everywhere.
And there's a number of things that we really need to discuss when it comes to this.
So one, every news story that I have seen is very quick to point out that this will be covered under the forthcoming Affordable Care Act provisions in 2014.
So not only will the test be covered, which apparently in the United States at least is a very expensive test, but the procedure...
And so as I'm following the news, I see a bill proposal, which comes through the wire yesterday.
A bill to amend the Public Health Service Act to raise awareness of and to educate breast cancer patients anticipating surgery, especially patients who are members of racial and ethnic minority groups, regarding the availability and coverage of breast reconstruction, protesis, and other options.
So there's a push for this somewhere, and I'm cynical about this.
I'm really, really cynical.
Well, you don't think the push is for what's being talked about in my household?
Please, because this is what...
Yeah, tell me.
And elsewhere are these genetic...
Genetic testing.
Of course this is what it's about.
Genetic testing.
So you go and you get your gene, whatever they do.
Yeah.
They pull out your genes and then give you and tell you all the possible bad things that can happen to you.
Yeah, you're pre.
And that you're related to some bum in England.
You're pre.
You're pre-everything.
Basically, you're pre-dead.
You're pre-dead.
And everyone is getting these testing done.
And I think this is bringing it to light and showing that the famous Angelina Jolie had it done.
And then, of course, she'll show up in a movie in 2014, her next movie.
Yep.
You know, looking great.
With beautiful breasts.
With no harm, no foul.
No wonder Brad Pitt, who was so supportive.
I mean, she had a couple kids.
I know I sound like an asshole to some women, but seriously...
I'm sure you do.
Well, you sound like an asshole anyway.
Yeah.
I mean, to some people we both do, and I think we do a lot of people.
Hey, guess what?
There you go.
Someone's got to do it.
No, I think it's all part of this scheme to get everybody gene sequenced.
Yes!
There's a huge movement to get gene sequenced.
How cool it is.
You know, my daughters had it done.
Really?
My sons had it done.
Really?
Oh, they're insane.
Really?
Yeah.
You haven't had it done.
This is nothing for you.
What's the point?
No.
Because people do say, if there was a test, would you?
No.
And by the way, she was tested for the BRCA1, BRCA2 gene.
I'm like, let me look this up.
Do you know what BRCA stands for?
What?
Breast cancer.
Oh.
I know!
I mean, but you expect to be like bio-resistant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, it's no, BRCA, breast cancer.
So, I mean, how dis...
How dis...
Yeah, exactly.
How super creative.
So, you know, there'll be like ANCR, you know, like anal cancer.
Oh, gee.
Oh, you've got anal cancer.
Well, you might as well remove your butt.
You might as well remove your butt.
You might as well remove your butt.
I was like, oh, you have a new butt.
But seriously, but we have talked about that.
We've noticed this coming.
You're pre-cancerous.
You're pre-diabetic.
You know, now that's funny.
One of our doctors sent this to me.
He said, you know, now they want to lower the legal alcohol limit to 0.5.
Yeah.
So zero.
So why don't you just hand up tickets for being pre-drunk?
Everybody's pre-drunk.
I mean, it's like, you are, as a person, you're pre-dead.
You could walk out tomorrow, you know, it's like, oh, well, let's just not fly anymore, because you could die.
You could get hit by a bus, you could die falling down the stairs.
It's a lot of opportunities.
And this 87% thing bugs me a lot.
It's like, this genetic test is so good that they could say she had an 87, not 86%, Not 88!
And an 87% chance of having breast cancer.
Seems far-fetched.
Right?
And these genetic tests, yeah, I've seen a lot of push on this.
So what is the argument Mimi is having that's interesting on Facebook?
Well, she is upset by all these women who come out.
She's so brave!
She's a hero!
And all the stuff that's on, all the Facebook stuff is just praising her to no end.
And Mimi's argument is if she had an 87% chance of getting breast cancer, she could have a 13% chance of not getting.
Why would you do this when all you have to do is test more and you just be a little more conscientious and you can probably, you know, you don't have cancer.
Why are you going to this extreme?
She thought that was just a bad idea.
I don't know that Mimi knows that it was really a boob job.
Oh.
It's a boob job.
If you look at...
She did this at the Pink Lotus Breast Center.
The Pink Lotus Breast Center is the place, and the whole website is pink, which is a little disturbing.
So her entire road...
Kind of sexist.
Her entire road, her entire journey is well documented here.
Yeah, I know.
It's a publicity aspect to it.
Yes.
Another thing is annoying.
Yeah.
But no, apparently all on Facebook, all the women are all, oh, she's a brave, brave woman.
You know, this is kind of like she's in a World War II or something.
Taking out a Nazi, you know, tank or something.
I mean, jeez.
With a rubber knife and a compass.
And a single grenade.
So she got to keep her nipples.
Yeah, they did a special procedure that they apparently oversaturated her nipples with a bunch of blood or something.
So the nipples were intact and still sensitive.
Yeah.
Woot!
No wonder Brad is so happy.
Yeah.
And supportive.
Hey, now they're the same size.
How about that?
I mean, we're laughing about this, but it blew me away.
Because when you hear mastectomy...
Yeah, you just think she's going to be flat-chested and have just horrible scars.
And I know women who have had mastectomies in Austin here, and I'm sure that they would love nothing more than to have the Angelina version.
And get some beautiful boobs back.
I'm sure they would love nothing more.
It's totally too late or whatever.
It appears that the genetic testing and the procedures will all be a part of the Affordable Care Act.
And specifically, the people who can't afford the care will receive regulation that helps remind them that they can do this testing.
Because what's it going to be?
Do you get the procedure approved when you're 50%, 51%, or maybe less?
I mean, is it 30%?
Will your insurance company say, oh yeah, chop them off, get some new ones?
I'm sure that there's a lot of women who will see the opportunity.
She didn't have cancer, but she got new boobs.
Yeah, well, yeah, that's a sensitive subject, so I wouldn't get into the debate about it.
No, I don't want to get too far into the debate.
Well, I know, but, you know, again, I do have a little clip here, because I was...
I was reminding myself that one of the things about our podcast, we will talk about some of these issues that are actually in the public eye.
They're important.
They're changing the way people think.
So I was having lunch with a friend and he says he's getting tired of some of the podcasts that are getting worse and worse.
You got friends?
Not ours.
He loves ours.
Wait, stop.
You got friends?
Yeah, I do.
I have a friend.
And so I have a clip, and I think it might be a regular clip that I'll do this every once in a while.
This is what, just for the people listening to our podcast, this is what you're missing.
Because there are other podcasts out there, and you could be listening to this.
Really?
That's the best you can come up with?
I've got teleportation, but I can only go through doors.
Now, imagine an entire book built around a character like that, because that's what they were basically doing by that point, was, ooh, here's a character who looks like a chicken and has no other superpowers.
Beak?
Yes, yes.
Barnell Bohusk, yes.
Yes, I am.
I read the Exiles.
I read all the Exiles.
Well, you see, you needed that many mutants because you had to populate the teams, right?
Because let's run it down.
In the early 2000s, they had the extreme X-Men at some point.
So we had the extreme X-Men, we got the X-Men, the uncanny X-Men, we got the X-Factor.
Is this on the Twit Network?
No, it's on the other one.
What, 5x5?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
I did something highly unusual.
I went on a morning show here in Austin.
Oh, good.
You know, we both need to do that more.
Yeah.
And you know what?
It actually, it was good, but not that it helped.
I think we got new listeners, but not necessarily because of the morning show.
So this is the Dudley and Bob show.
Everybody in the morning to you.
Weenie in the butt.
Just TV or radio?
Radio, radio, radio.
So Dale Dudley has been on KLBJ FM in Austin for 25 years.
So he's kind of an institution.
But they've done something interesting.
This is owned by MS Broadcasting, which is not your clear channel, but they own a lot.
They're pretty big, but in the scope of radio ownership, they're nothing.
And Austin, of course, is a secondary market, but still.
So they have done something where they go from 6 to 9 on the air, and then from 9 to 10, they'd switch over and they'd do a podcast, which people pay for, where you could say anything.
So it was this really weird sensation of being on the radio in real time, live, and having to have all my filters in, because, you know, me with the Tourette's.
And then switching over at 9 o'clock, and then it was like anything goes.
You could talk about the management being crap at the station, which I did, of course.
Yeah, I don't know.
I said, can I? That makes no sense.
You'll never listen to us.
Well, what they like is that the station's making money with people paying for the podcast.
But what was most interesting is I received probably 20 emails from one thing that I said.
And the thing that I said is, you can quit your slave job.
You can find your true destiny in life.
And I've done it several times, and it's scary.
But I think that's kind of, it was a little longer in the conversation, but that I am now at a place where, yeah, we're just getting by, but I have never been happier in my life because I'm doing what I want to do.
I'm a radio dude.
That's what I am.
You know, I'm not really a TV guy.
I'm not a writer.
I'm not really, you know, I'm certainly not a programmer.
I'm kind of, you know, I'm a broadcaster.
That's what I am.
And if you can find out what you are in life, wow, you know, and you're doing it and you find out a way to at least eat some mac and cheese while you're at it, that is true living.
And I got so many emails from people saying, how do I do it?
Just quit your job!
No, that's not that simple, obviously, but you know what I mean?
I think most people can't do it.
Yeah.
I think a lot of people have the opportunity.
There's a bunch of variables here.
One is the kind of money you can make by working for somebody else who's throwing money away.
Right.
Right, but then you're focused on the wrong thing.
If you were doing that, it's like an owner of a baseball team.
The team is worth a lot of money.
They have a great net worth.
But the amount of money they personally make from the team is not as much as they pay the players.
Right.
One or two players.
Basketball.
Some of these guys will make $20 million just to run up and down the court and stay in shape.
Right.
What else would they do?
Yeah, but they all wind up like OJ. They wind up in jail eventually, and they lose all their money.
Well, a lot of them don't.
There are some that are smart investors, and they keep a low profile.
Besides Magic Johnson...
Now, it usually ends bad.
Yeah, a lot of them are broke.
I mean, the worst case is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who was one of the greatest players in history, the big tall guy that came out of UCLA. He, I guess, got involved with one of those money-making schemes where they put your money offshore and they invest their tax-free and you don't have to worry about the government.
He was better off putting it in a bank.
Wasn't it the Psychic Friends Network with Dionne Warwick?
Didn't he put money into that?
I don't know.
He might have.
All I know is that he essentially went broke.
Aren't you doing what you want to do right now, John?
Are you in that place in your life where you're kind of doing...
As you move towards your twilight years...
Hey!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Hold on a second.
Hold on.
This is serious talk.
So, hold on.
People have been really busy for us.
Right now, John, let's talk about how you can live your life to its fullest potential.
As Miss Mickey said to me, this is our serious music.
You like it?
Ah, it's great.
Yeah.
As Miss Mickey said to me, you're not dead yet.
You're only halfway there.
I'm dead.
That part is in the bed.
I'm pre-dead right now.
So, I'm very happy where I'm at.
How about you?
Are you living the dream?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm living the dream.
I've got a 20-year-old car.
I'm just getting by.
I'm going broke, sending my daughter through college.
The good news is, she will graduate.
Oh yeah.
And think about all the extra...
Actually, she got her scholarship again.
Oh wow.
So she was a sophomore.
She was down here.
She went up to...
What's the name of the school again?
It's like the best college in the world.
I'm sorry.
But it's a great school.
It's like a real high-end school.
It's a good school, I guess.
Skull and Bones.
I've never been to the campus.
Skull and Bones.
Skull and Bones.
She's at Yale.
She's at Yale.
I get a real short picture of you sending your kid to Yale.
Get in that Skull and Bones, kid.
You'll be set for life.
So anyway, go on.
You've got the music is fading out.
How long is this loop?
Oh, I've got tons of people.
I've got like three different beds for us to talk over who feel that when we're talking about something important, we need to have...
And so these guys sat on their synthesizer and cranked out these beds?
Yes!
Isn't that awesome?
That's a good one.
I like it.
This is great.
This is a very kind of...
Our show should just have the bed underneath.
All the time.
Yeah, all the time.
I agree.
It really adds something here.
It adds something.
Not much, but it adds something.
Anyway, I think that we could do a seminar.
A webinar.
A webinar is even better.
Your favorite.
We're going to leave our houses.
Yes!
This is part of the dream.
And the whole idea is, we're going to tell you how we did it, and then take that information.
It's always convoluted.
Yeah, and I think we can probably get it sponsored by...
What's Leo's advertiser there?
Ford?
Go to meeting.
Oh, go to meeting.
Oh, yeah.
That's not a bad idea.
Ford's not sponsoring him anymore.
Yeah, I think Ford's went someplace.
I don't know what happened to Ford.
Well, geez, they start advertising my favorite show, Smash, which I still watch religiously, and it was great.
They had Ivy Lynn, who plays Marilyn in the Broadway musical.
Is that the blonde?
The blonde one, the voluptuous blonde.
They had her, so now she's a celebrity because she's on Broadway.
So they have her at Times Square doing a commercial for the Ford Focus.
I don't know if she can even get in a Focus.
No, please.
And so, you know, there's the scene, which of course, you know, before you hit another break is only eight minutes, and then the first spot is the Ford Focus again.
It's unbelievable.
It's corrupt.
Yeah!
It really is.
In the morning to you.
By the way, the Ford Focus, as Ford's listening, I do recommend that car to everyone I talk to.
Right.
Anyway, yes, in the morning to you.
Of course.
Oh, and in the morning to all ships and sea boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, and all the dames and knights out there.
There you go.
And in the morning to all of our human resources in the chat room there, noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net.
In the morning to Sir19InchRacks or GitmoSlave, SirOil, everyone running the whole show.
Make sure you support those guys at Frownet.
And...
We've got all kinds of stuff to do here.
I've got PR. Let me do the PR first.
Sir Laurie and Sir Luke in Finland are...
I'll read the email verbatim.
We're getting together for a No Agenda Night's Luncheon Monday, May 20th at noon in Kailaranta 1 Espoo.
In Espoo?
In Espoo!
All right!
Other nights producers are hereby invited as well, of course.
I think there's one more night in the greater Helsinki metro area.
It's a hotbed of no-agenda night activity up there.
And I'll put the link into the place.
So that's Monday the 20th.
Kailaranta, K-E-I-L-R, K-E-L-A, Kilo Echo, India, Lima Alpha, Romeo Alpha, November Tango Alpha in Espoo.
And then, let's see, what else did we have?
That's all I got.
Do we have anyone helping us today on the show, despite all scary messages that...
That you receive now on the PayPal that you're under investigation, your donation is being looked at.
It's kind of nefarious, too.
You think, oh, wow, am I being investigated?
No, it's bad to form.
Am I in compliance?
I don't know what they could put it a different way.
Well, we did get a complaint from the Samunichs about this.
And I want to thank, we should thank our executive producers, which includes Greg and his wife, Sir Greg, actually.
Sir Greg and Dame Kathy, yes.
And Kathy, I think she sent a note in bitching about this saying, we'll just send a check from now on.
Yeah.
Which we recommend.
Yes.
Which gives us another ten bucks.
No PayPal fees, no nothing.
And they came in with the episode number, which is great, which is not necessary to become an executive producer, but highly appreciated as the numbers go up.
Yeah, and especially it makes you an exclusive member of that club.
Anyway, there in West Chicago, in the spirit of Benghazi, cover up surveillance of the AP's phone records and sticking the IRS to audit Patriot groups.
I would like to taunt Mr.
O with a Reverend Manning whoop him with the Constitution.
Thank you, sirs.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I wasn't quite ready for that one.
Whoop it with the Constitution.
Get out there!
Whoop it!
Whoop it!
Thank you very much.
I'm going to give them karma, actually.
I think they deserve some karma from me to them.
You've got karma.
Sir Greg and Dame Cathy, thank you for being such long-term supporters.
And, of course, they are from Chi-Town.
West Chi-Town.
So they must be sick and tired of that guy.
Oh yeah.
Dwayne Melanson, otherwise known as Earl Melanson of Oregon.
Hell yeah.
Tigard.
He came in with 404, which is an error message.
Here's my next installment toward Dukedom.
I've gotten lots of notice from my producerships on LinkedIn.
I'm telling you it's a great thing to do.
Yeah, no, if you've got a LinkedIn account, put your producerships in your bio.
Yeah, people are always like, wow, what is that?
That sounds cool.
Had to organize them into seasons to overcome the character limitations.
Oh, really?
What is it?
Because the bits are too expensive?
We can't go on forever.
Although I've seen some of these that are huge.
I think I don't know about this.
I think maybe he needs to upgrade.
Parker Snyder, Grand Prairie, Texas, 336.20.
And you got some email.
Try to get rolling back prices quote out of John.
Get the rolling back prices quote out of John.
It was a quote that you said early on that really cracked his wife and him up.
Well, you said something like, they're rolling back prices on crack.
I never said this.
Yes, you did.
So say it again.
They're rolling back prices on crack!
That dramatic?
Yeah, that was pretty good.
I like it.
That was pretty good.
He and his wife liked that a lot, and they've been fans of the show ever since you first said that.
There you go.
Yeah, well.
Anyways, hoping to get to a knighthood soon.
He does say, everyone else feel ashamed.
Yeah, everyone else feel ashamed.
He's from Tejas, Grand Prairie.
Stephan Agarity.
How about Stephen?
I'd say Stephen Agarity.
You don't think it's Stephan?
No.
No one says Stephan anymore.
Some?
I've heard it.
No.
I'll get you a clip.
Okay.
You go do that.
Record your one friend.
It's 233.32.
ITM, don't worry about getting your chops around my name.
It's just way too painful to listen to it the last time.
But just listen to the episode with the Central Security Service or whatever it's called.
The great show.
It didn't matter that it wasn't clip intense.
Wow, this is a long time ago, this show.
It was like two months ago.
Your chat and interaction is every bit, if not more enjoyable to listen to.
I don't frequent the chat room, but it strikes me that these douchebags should be paying a couple of bucks to get in and bitch slap each other and you could bank a grand a show, $100,000 a year.
Yeah.
Surely it keeps the show going for all of us.
Also, if you put an iBand number on your bank account somewhere on the donation page, I think we could transfer money out of PayPal commission as well as set up repeat payments that will not get canceled.
Yeah.
No, I think it's a real...
If you want to transfer money to Mechanics, which is our bank from Europe, forget about it.
Oh, it's too expensive.
Yeah, it costs like 30 bucks.
They're not good at that.
And the Chase thing, which I've tried, it's not worth...
No wonder Bitcoin is popular.
It's really not worth it.
It's not worth the hassle.
It takes a week.
It's just dumb.
Well, they need to streamline things, that's for sure.
Daniel Serbas in Montevideo, Minnesota Nuts.
He came in.
I got a couple of notes from a couple of guys.
No.
The president is in the Rose Garden and he's got an earpiece in.
Oh, he does?
He's wearing an IFB? It's not an IFB. It's like half a Sennheiser.
What is that?
Who is he with?
He must be with someone.
They must be doing a translation.
Let's finish thanking these people.
All right.
Anyway, he sent a check-in.
I bet you $10 it's pronounced Montevideo in Minnesota instead of Montevideo as it would be in South America.
Yes.
Jan Persil.
Sir Jan, do you in Hamburg?
I would say Jan.
Jan Persil.
Jan Persil.
Call it advertising.
Just scored a well-paid job for my design studio.
Perciel.com.
P-E-R-S-I-E-L.com.
I would like to share with you, access, and give value for value.
Karma appreciated for busy times ahead.
Take care.
Right on.
Here you go.
Good work.
You've got karma.
And also, Stephen, or Stephan, as I would call him, also requested some karma we didn't give him.
Oh, well, let me do that right off the bat.
You've got karma.
Those are executive and associate executive producers for show 513.
We appreciate that, hopefully.
And by the way, the last couple of Sundays, people have gotten executive producerships for just sending in the minimum of like $202.
You might want to think about helping us because the Sunday show seems to be dropping off drastically.
Compared to the Thursday show.
Yeah, and it would be okay if the Thursday show made up for it, but it's not really.
No.
Generally speaking, it just falls off.
But we'll figure out why someday.
Thank you very much to Nick the Rat for creating the art for Episode 512.
That's highly appreciated.
Good work, Nick.
Always good to see Nick come in with something humorous, funny, or something that makes you go, Hey!
Is that your reaction?
A lot of the art.
What?
We had a lot of good art.
The art is also inconsistent.
One time we'll have like 12 submissions and then sometimes we'll have one.
Yeah, it's true.
Or none.
Yeah, it's true.
We highly appreciate this.
These are real credits.
You can put them on your LinkedIn.
It will get you inquiries.
You watch.
And this is the great thing about LinkedIn is you can see who's looking at your profile and what they're looking at.
And you'll see.
When you put Executive Producer No Agenda Show on, you're going to see that people, wow, this is interesting.
What is that?
Now, you may never work again, but you'll get a lot of inquiries for sure.
So, yes, please consider us for support on this coming Sunday show.
We'll have a lot more deconstruction, a lot more ahead today.
We've got a lot to get to.
And, of course, we do need you to always continue to propagate our formula.
Our formula is this.
We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
Water.
Order.
Come on, Dave Lizzie.
Shut up, Clay!
Good work.
Good work, girl.
So, uh, I went to the Google I.O. On the TV. On the TV? No, I mean, I streamed it over the internet.
Oh, I forgot all about it.
I couldn't get in.
I have a summary.
Here's a summary.
Do I play this?
Is this your summary?
There's a summary of Google I.O. right here.
The No Agenda Show.
Make a kick to the crotch.
Well, it's interesting you bring up the Google I.O. Because there's...
I have some actual clips that I think it would be prudent to discuss.
And this comes in light of an email.
Did I copy you on the reply to this?
I think I did.
I don't know.
What was the subject?
Quitting over Google Rant.
Oh yeah, that guy.
Yeah, we did a Google...
I think you got...
He was aiming this complaint at you for some reason.
Yeah, because of course...
I was the one ranting about Google.
No, it's always me.
I suck.
I'm an a-hole.
It's your fault.
Yeah.
Hi, Adam.
A few shows back, a listener talked about getting to verge of donating only to be put off by your ignorance.
No, you know, this is the...
Let's stop right here.
This is the...
Everybody out there is on the verge and all apparently they do, they're never going to donate.
They don't care.
They're ungenerous people.
They don't have a thought in how these things work.
They're not sympathetic to anything.
And they're always on the verge of donating and their whole job in life is to look for the excuse not to donate.
And then they just sit and wait.
Say, oh God, maybe I'll donate today.
Maybe I'll donate today.
Maybe I'll donate today.
They never donate.
And then they get the excuse, ah, that's the reason I didn't donate because it's something you said.
And that is really the real problem with their personality.
This is a defect.
I mean, you're either generous and you're doing value for value.
People who donate to the show are doing it for a reason.
So the show continues.
He's a pre-donor.
He's a pre-doner.
He's a pre-boner.
Permanent boner.
A permanent boner.
I blew whatever that joke was.
But this guy is not...
I think he's donated.
He's a pre-quitter.
So he's been looking for a reason to quit.
You see?
This is the other thing.
So you get people who don't want to donate and look for a reason not to.
There's people who want to quit but look for a reason to quit.
Listening to us.
Or, I'm unsubscribing.
It's my favorite.
Uh...
For example, we've talked about this before.
I think the show beats some people up.
Very hard, yes.
And it's like the Jon Stewart show.
I will watch that show and then I'll put it on the old DVR and make it so it records and records and records.
And then after a few months of it, I am so beaten up.
Yeah.
By the show that I just take it off and I say, oh, life is so much better.
I don't have to listen to him, you know, do the dissemination.
He's essentially doing character assassination in a funny kind of a way, commonly.
And it's like, at some point, as funny as it is, it just gets, I don't know.
Right, but this is why I think...
It's a flaw in both of the shows, ours and his.
It is the ultimate flaw, absolutely.
And this is no different from the Howard Stern show, because I had witnessed this with Stern, too.
When I was driving in every single morning from Jersey to New York.
At a certain point, I was like, oh, I get it.
Lesbians ratings.
Got it.
So, yes, it happens.
However, he brought something.
The reason why he's quitting...
He says, you know, we have no idea what we're talking about.
I knew exactly what this person was talking about.
I couldn't have written a better example than the recent farce with John's blog getting hacked.
I could barely listen as you both flew off the handle, calling foul play, slamming mat cuts...
It's not true, people!
Pay no attention to the browser warnings!
Google is out to get us!
And by the way, we never slammed Matt Cutts.
Well, you might.
I did.
But we never really slammed Matt Cutts.
And what difference does it make?
Well, it is important because this really came about Jeff Jarvis, who called Matt, Jeff Jarvis, Google shareholder, who called Matt Cutts the grand gentleman.
This is why we went off, the Grand Gentleman of Google.
And I know why he's called that, because he is one of the most powerful men on the internet.
And then so he goes on.
All this, by the way, before continuing to hypocritically use Google's search engine for the rest of the show.
It's exactly this sort of paranoia, narcissistic nonsense that turns people off the show.
I think it turns people on to the show, actually.
I disagree with that.
Yeah, actually, a lot of people don't understand how broadcasting works.
And sometimes the most obnoxious people just attract a crowd.
So anyway, he goes on all the way through, and he ends it up with, that's it for me, I'm out!
And that's how he ends it.
It always gets me, by the way, why tell us?
Who cares?
The reason why is because he wants a response.
He's been disappointed, of course, in himself.
But I see this all the time, especially with email.
I mean, I've made a study of this, where people throw their baggage onto you, and then nine times out of ten, sorry man, I was drunk.
And I get that one a lot.
I get a lot of this drunk.
Yeah.
I've seen that.
The drunk when I get a lot of drunk.
Sorry, I blew up.
Sorry, I was drunk, man.
I lost my job.
My wife hates me.
My kids are morons.
And then you're the guy who I listen to and I trust and you irked me.
And it happens in all relationships.
And so we have a weird relationship with our producers of the show, of course.
As a part of Google I.O., and I'm glad you brought it up, Matt Cutts.
And now Matt Cutts, he is the director of, not director of malware, not the director of protecting your computer.
He's the director of web spam, okay?
And what is web spam?
Web spam is stuff that messes up Google's business model.
Google's model is to provide you with ads, predominantly ads with search.
So this is all about SEO. The specific, and it's very important that we talk about this, because Google is the Gestapo of the Internet, and Matt Cutts is the Sturmbarnführer, And he even starts off, as a part of Google I.O., he talks about their new algorithm.
So they had Panda, now they're going from Panda to Penguin to Penguin 2.0.
These are all their code names.
And of course, you know, hi, everybody.
Hi, everybody.
That's Matt Cutts.
Today's Webmaster Video is answering the question, what should we expect in the next few months in terms of SEO for Google?
So very important, he says, what should we expect in terms of SEO for Google?
Now you're about to hear how Google really thinks about you and how they think about themselves.
So the hacked sites thing, right?
Yes, someone was able to quote-unquote hack your blog, not really your server, but they were able to inject Some malware.
You can call it malware, but not the kind of thing that you go to a website and it gets into your computer and it eats up your hard drive or crashes it or turns you into a bot on a botnet.
No.
It brought up a hidden frame.
And by the way, this producer, this listener also says, you know, you could have found this in five minutes, you stupid!
So what Google does...
We found it in five minutes.
It was being injected from somewhere.
We couldn't find that.
So we had to change the parameters of how things get onto the code.
So that guy should never listen to the show, whoever sent that in.
Now, Matt Cutts...
Who fully says, oh, we're just protecting everybody, and the way Google does this is, and by the way, I didn't have any infected malware, yet all my sites that had one link to an image from your site got the same little thief information.
You're walking away with a bag full of stolen ones and zeros, or had his arm creepily coming through your laptop screen, touching your keys.
These things really matter what they're communicating to people.
Just like PayPal, we're checking it out for regulatory compliance.
So here's Matt Cutts, and what's really going on here...
Is pushing everyone towards Google's webmaster tools.
This is a very, very, very bad precedent.
And they are only doing it so that everyone is on board with their program for their advertising for their payday.
We're still in the early days for that, but it's pretty exciting.
We've got some data now that we're ready to start munging.
Munging.
They mung the data over there, John.
Munging.
We'll see how good it looks, and so we'll see whether that bears fair or not.
Listen to this.
We also continue to work on hacked sites.
Hacked sites.
And notice the language.
Your site was not hacked, okay?
No one had taken it over and put up a DHS sign or said, John sucks cock in hell.
No, no, not hacked like that.
In a couple different ways.
Number one, trying to detect them better.
We hope in the next few months to roll out a next generation of hacked site detection that is even more comprehensive.
And also trying to communicate better to webmasters because sometimes we see confusion between hacked sites and sites that serve up malware.
Yeah, you're creating that.
You're creating the confusion.
And ideally, you'd have a one-stop shop where once someone realizes that they've been hacked, they can go to Webmaster Tools and have some...
One-stop shop, John!
Yeah, in fact, to get off of the...
Yeah, to get off of the database, you've got to go to...
To get off of the database, you have to get an account with Webmaster Tools.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
And then ask them to please look at my site again after we fixed it.
...go and get a lot more info to sort of point them in the right way to helpfully clean up those hacked sites.
So if you're doing high-quality content...
Oh, if you're doing...
Now, here's where...
This is where it gets very, very dangerous.
Not for me because I don't care.
People who want to get my content, which is probably not considered high-quality content in Google's opinion...
They'll get to it anyway.
But Google in future, as you're about to hear, is going to determine what is right, what is wrong, what is high quality, and what you should be able to see.
Not what you find through their search engine, but what you're allowed to see, literally see, on their Chrome browser and every other browser that uses their database, which of course is everybody, including Firefox.
The guy's wearing a Firefox t-shirt in this video just to show how powerful Google really is.
Whenever you're doing SEO, this shouldn't be a big surprise.
You shouldn't have to worry about a lot of different changes.
If you've been hanging out on a lot of black hat forums and trading, you know, different types of spamming package tips and that sort of stuff, then it might be a more eventful summer for you.
You're going to have a very eventful summer if you've been trying to game our system, slaves.
But we have also been working on a lot of ways to help regular webmasters.
Regular webmasters, John.
Do you hear what he's saying?
Yeah.
Regular webmasters.
We're doing a better job of detecting when someone is sort of an authority in a specific space.
Oh, an authority!
You're doing a better job when you're an authority.
But you have to sign up for webmaster tools to be an authority, I'm sure.
You know, it could be medical, it could be travel, whatever.
Yeah, or what are we?
Are we authorities in anything, John?
Not that I know of.
Come on.
Well, we're authorities on tech.
I think we can be authorities on news deconstruction.
Yeah, put this in the red book.
No agenda, the term no agenda, to drop to zero within the next year.
And trying to make sure that those rank a little more highly if you're some sort of an authority or a site that, according to the algorithms, we think might be a little bit more appropriate for users.
Oh, it's a little more appropriate for users.
Do you hear what's going on here?
We've also been...
Looking at Panda and seeing if we can find some additional signals, and we think we've got some, to help refine things for the sites that are kind of in the border zone, in the gray area a little bit.
Oh, we're in the gray area now!
By the way, I'm checking to make sure this hasn't happened yet, but you might be right.
I just typed in no agenda to the Google, and we still own first page completely.
And let me take a look at pages.
We had seven pages at one time.
We do have some people out there that work for us and with us.
Yeah.
We have the second page.
We've got all of it.
No Agenda Entertainment, No Agenda Soundboard, No Agenda...
Oh!
The No Agenda Myth New York Times, an article.
There it is.
It's got nothing to do with us.
The New York Times is clearly an authority in the space.
Then we go to No Agenda Racing is on page two.
Congratulations.
No Agenda CD is on page two.
So we got all of page twos have one post.
Now page three, No Agenda on Facebook, No Agenda Art Generator, No Agenda Chat, No Agenda Predicts Boston Bombing.
A YouTube video.
Hey, wait a minute.
We're experts in that.
We're experts.
No agenda book club.
No agenda on Twitter.
All right.
Let me finish this up.
Let me affect a little bit for those sites that we believe have got some additional signals of quality, then that will help sites.
Signals of quality.
That might have previously been affected to some degree by Panda.
All right.
Now.
A lot of code words in there.
Now, oh, well, here, so do you know about their guidelines, their content guidelines and what you can and can't do?
This, by the way...
Why does Google have to do with this?
Because it's their business.
Send me a link to the guidelines.
I need to...
You can just Google...
Now you're getting under my skin.
Okay, well, listen to the guidelines for advertorial.
We've also been looking at advertorials, that is sort of native advertising and...
Native advertising.
Native advertising.
Like if we would promote our own stuff, for instance.
So if I went in the show notes and said, hey, look at this cool gadget I'm working on, that would be native advertising or better known as an advertorial.
And those sorts of things that violate our quality guidelines.
So again, if someone pays for coverage or pays for an ad or something like that, those ads should not flow page rank.
Let me hear this.
If someone pays for an ad, if someone pays me to put an ad on my site that, of course, doesn't go through Google, you don't get ranked for that.
That's what he just said.
That's actually what he just said.
This is anti-competitive.
This is illegal in my book.
It probably is.
You know, Google does a lot of illegal stuff unknowingly.
Because it seems like a good idea to us.
It's hubris is what it is.
This guy is so...
He truly believes that Google owns all advertising on the internet, and luckily we don't have this problem, but a lot of people are going to run into trouble right now because he just said to me...
If you are getting paid for an ad on your website, you will get penalized for that by Google.
Play that again just so everyone gets it straight.
If someone pays for coverage or pays for an ad or something like that, those ads should not flow page rank.
If someone pays for coverage, which is a journalistic term, I'll make a very simple one.
If Leo Laporte...
If Google is paid to talk about the Ford Focus, he will get penalized by Google for doing that because Google didn't get their piece.
This is mafia.
This is truly mafia.
This is not okay.
Now, again, I don't care.
We don't have advertisers.
We get by.
But when we have a-holes who are yelling at me for saying that Google is the Gestapo and you've got to watch out, I'm not doing it for me.
It doesn't affect me at all.
People can find our content without us being approved or experts in the space.
We've seen a few sites in the U.S. and around the world that take money and then do link to websites and pass page rank.
Oh my god, it's called advertising!
But that's not allowed.
We'll be looking at some efforts to sort of be a little bit stronger on our enforcement as far as advertorials that violate our quality guidelines.
Come on, talk to me, John.
I'm just stunned by this quality guidelines thing.
What does Google have to do with it?
They're a search engine that's supposed to be serving the public.
They're not.
Because I'm looking for something, and it could be filled with ads, but I'm looking for this page, and they're not going to deliver it because the guys are taking money away from Google?
That's right.
Could someone please make the word Gestapo with the Google letters and logo for the art?
That's what I want.
But I also want it separate, just something I can just put on a t-shirt.
It's the Google logo with all the little pretty colors, but it says Gestapo instead of Google.
Nothing wrong inherently with advertorials or native advertising, but they should not float page rank, and there should be clear and conspicuous disclosure so that users realize that something is paid, not organic or editorial.
The hubris of this is, and I think you're right, he's probably a really nice guy.
He doesn't even know how inherently horrible the things are that he's saying.
You know, I don't have the clips of...
I do have the recording, but I didn't clip any of...
Larry Page came out at the end of the Google thing and talked and talked and talked.
Unfortunately, something's wrong with him.
He talks like this now and he can barely get his voice up.
He can't get any high notes.
From the chip implant, obviously.
And the one clip I wanted to get, and I will have it for the Sunday show, is where he says, all we want people to do is to be happy.
Yeah, well, how's that working out?
And he said it over and over with remorse.
I believe that these are just dorks that are just unaware of the way things...
In fact, he went on about how cool it would be if...
He went on about how terrible the situation is because his medical records are protected, and he believes that it's only because of insurance companies, because people are afraid they're not going to get insurance.
He says, that doesn't make any sense.
Everyone should be able to get insurance, and we should be able to get everyone's medical records so we can study them, and we can search, and we can do these things that will be beneficial to everybody, which is not the case at all.
It's bullcrap.
Some people don't want their medical records out because they have AIDS facilities.
For example, and nobody knows they're gay and they don't want anyone to know they're gay.
And it's their business, not yours.
And all this is completely ignored by these guys.
They're completely naive about the way things are.
I think Schmidt probably isn't, but he's never really there.
He's not running the place.
He's, you know, outselling his book everywhere.
And I don't know.
I'm just baffling.
I do have a couple of Google clips if you want to hear them.
Yeah.
Unless you've got more to listen to with...
Well, I just wanted to...
I have a 30-second closer from Matt Cutts.
Yeah, play the closer, and we'll go on a couple other things.
From the Grand Gentleman.
And so this is the guy who implements the changes each time he runs the team, where all of a sudden you wake up and you're not found on Google.
That's his team.
That's what he does.
He is not the Protect Your Computer division.
He's the Protect Google's Advertising Business division, and he is an extremely powerful individual on the Internet, and I would presume within Google.
And here he is closing off, just making the distinction between people who are on board with the program and regular webmasters.
I think it's going to be a lot of fun.
I'm really excited about a lot of these changes because we do see really good improvements in terms of, you know, people who are link spamming or doing various black hat spam would be less likely to show up, I think, by the end of the summer.
And at the same time, we've got a lot of nice changes queued up that hopefully will help, you know, small, medium businesses and, you know, regular webmasters as well.
Just you little a-holes.
Just you little people, you little people that we spit on, that we roll over in our Rolls Royces and our Ferraris on the way to work in the morning.
You regular little small businesses, not like us, the big business over here in Mountain View.
So a lot of the things at the event were kind of creepy.
The keynote went three hours and 36 minutes and it was all, you know...
Was it Scoble?
Was Scoble doing the keynote?
Scobo wasn't there.
So anyway, I took two clips that are kind of interesting.
One of them explains something.
It's like all of a sudden, when you hear this clip, the Google Map guy, when you hear this clip, you're going to go, oh, oh.
I'm telling you, you're going to say, oh, that's why that was...
Recently, we launched two more countries, Thailand and Indonesia, bringing a total of 43 countries overall with the ground truth data.
But this doesn't cover the whole world.
In many cases, countries didn't have good maps.
We created a tool called Mapmaker.
Mapmaker allows users to contribute their data and make the best maps they can.
And in some cases, those maps are now the best maps that country has anywhere.
And that's helped us cover 199 countries around the world.
But there's one country that was missing.
We had some of it in Mapmaker, but just very recently, we published North Korea, making 200.
Excellent.
Oh, okay.
So we're promoting Google.
So that's why Eric Schmidt was in North Korea.
Of course.
He was mapping.
It wasn't to see North Korea or do anything.
It was to map.
Wow.
I just went to jaw dropper when I heard this.
Oh, that explains why Schmidt was there.
What other reason would he be there?
So anyway, but a lot of the event was creepy.
And it's actually a creepy subtext.
It's not out and out creepy because these guys are smiling all the time.
And when you're smiling, you know it's okay.
And so I found that this was kind of creepy, which is the guy who's doing his new photo app.
Okay, Google.
this thing called OK Google, which is my favorite new thing, which I'm actually in conversation with the press office now about this.
Of course, now they know how to find you when they need some PR.
No, no.
I was asking them about this, but I can't say who they are.
It's funny.
No one would take credit for saying anything.
But OK Google is like you've got your Chrome browser up, and you say, OK Google, and then the microphone picks that up, and it opens up a search thing, and then you say, Google, where's the nearest Chinese restaurant?
And then your browser says to you on your desktop, the nearest Chinese restaurant's right down the street.
Take a left.
Hold on.
Hold on.
So there is no other action I perform before saying, okay, Google.
Right.
Well, then it's listening to me all the time, which is what I talked about two years ago.
It's the first thing I thought of, too.
No, three years ago, on Twit, I said, Google is listening to you, and they're giving you ads based upon what they're hearing.
And it was already admitted in paperwork at that point.
So I had asked them about this exact same thing.
I said, you know, what's the point when you just ask the question as though the thing is just listening to you all the time?
And they said, well, there's a couple of things.
One, it doesn't just do that without a plug-in, which means that you are, like, partly responsible if this does happen.
Right.
And second, then I got another note back a few hours later because they apparently re-read my question.
The Google, the Google, OK Google thing is not listened to by Google.
It's a little piece of code in the computer that you have that when it hears OK Google, then it opens the channel.
Of course, of course.
It's possible.
Yeah, sure.
If that's what they want to say.
But anyway, OK Google is, I said you should just call it Siri 2.
Anyway, so here's, then it gets a little freakier.
Now, this is the guy who's got the new photo app, and you can play this as Google and Faces.
Let's talk about recognizing people's faces.
If you have an inexpensive phone or even an inexpensive camera, those devices can recognize faces.
But the state of the art today is to put a rectangle around a face and say, we think there's a face there.
Isn't the state of the art to put a target on the face?
Isn't that the true state of the art?
We've had several breakthroughs at Google.
We're now able to deeply recognize the human face and skin.
We can tease apart exactly where is the hairline, what are the eyes, the teeth, is the person wearing jewelry, do they have glasses on, and we can separate all that out.
That breakthrough means that when we do the other effects, things like structure, the tonal enhancement, we can do something different on the clouds, the water, the mountains, and we can treat the human face completely separately, like a professional would in a tool.
There's another thing they've had.
They had the Google Plus upgrade.
They're changing the look and feel of Google Plus.
And they're adding these self-assigned by Google hashtags.
And the example was, they said, look, there's a picture of me in front of the Eiffel Tower.
And now, look, the hashtag Eiffel Tower has been put there by Google since it recognized the Eiffel Tower.
Wow.
So, I mean, it all sounded like such spook stuff.
Yeah.
What you thinking?
It is totally.
No, it's tools for the press.
So the press can make more fake photos, you know, more fake...
No, I think it's all tools for the CIA. What?
Isn't that the same thing?
Press, CIA. Meanwhile, climate change has hit the United Kingdom really hard, John.
Springtime in Shropshire, and two weeks after May Day, winter is back.
This morning they woke up to a whiteout.
Two inches of snow, plenty of surprise and shock.
Yeah!
Yeah!
We're halfway to June, and they have snow, which was predicted.
The kids would only see it in snow globes.
It'll never come back.
Good call on that one.
They're in panic mode right now.
I've noticed this.
They're starting to drop in all this global warming stuff as fast as they can.
They've got to solve it before it's solved.
I noticed that there was a couple of massive sun flares.
CME is coronal mass ejection, and it screwed up the ham radios.
Oh, did it now?
Yeah.
No, I can hear.
You can hear the static.
It's almost flowing.
And, you know, all of a sudden you get a whole bunch of, you just hear everyone from everywhere and then boom, it's gone.
It's just nothing but white noise.
You hear nothing at all.
Oh, yeah.
It's really, it's very bad for Hamvention, which is coming up this weekend.
And I'm glad you're keeping up with it.
Are you going to go to Hamvention?
No, I can't.
It's Dayton, Ohio.
It's a little complicated.
It's too complicated.
Anyway, and I was reading about these flares, and it appears that we're at the end of one of the sunspot 22-year cycles.
That means things are going to go the other direction.
Correct.
Which means we're not going to get...
We're at the solar maximum.
We've talked about this before.
I think there's going to be regression in the warming...
And then at that point, it's too late.
If we can push the global warming stuff in as fast as we can and be on board by the time the regression begins, then you can say, well, it's a good thing we passed all these laws.
The things are going back in the right direction.
But if we don't get that done, then they're screwed and their cap and trade scam is done.
Yeah, and then the president won't have his legacy that he saved the earth.
Right.
And Time Magazine, of course, is on board with it.
Here's the senior writer Kluger on the CBS morning show.
When you listen to this, I don't think we can not interrupt it.
Because if you ever want to hear someone who's on board with the whole program of getting people to believe in this with just crap he's throwing out there that is completely unprovable, this is the guy.
Let's learn more now from Jeffrey Kluger.
He's a senior writer for Time Magazine.
Jeffrey, good morning.
Good morning.
So, how serious is this and how concerned should we be?
He's talking about the recent revelation that we have gone from 350 parts per million of carbon in the atmosphere to 400 parts per million.
We are pre-dead.
It is serious and we should be concerned.
The last time the parts per million of CO2 in the atmosphere, they're currently 400 ppm.
We're this high.
It was two million years ago during the Pleistocene era.
It was two million years ago, John, during the Pleistocene era when this took place.
Because, you know, he was there.
He was hanging around.
He has fact proof.
There were forests in Greenland and sea levels were 66 feet higher than they are right now.
What this means is we are on the west side of Manhattan at this moment.
If this keeps up to what it was back then, we would be swimming at this address.
And my understanding is that...
So if we don't stop it, we're going to be swimming at this address.
We're going to be underwater.
Proof.
Fact.
Two million years ago.
Plants and animals can adjust when CO2 levels rise, but just not when it rises this quickly.
Well, that's exactly right.
Plants and animals do adjust.
Acclimate very easily to this, but it takes centuries and even millennia for this to happen.
If we're at 400 now, we were at 315 back in 1958.
That is way too fast for anything, humans, plants, any kind of the ecosystem to adapt to this.
I'm having trouble adapting, John.
How are you doing?
I'm flopping around like a fish out of water.
Wow.
Yeah.
No, I'm so happy that we have, from day one, we have never wavered from our stance on this.
Yes, but I want to remind people, because all you guys are just a bunch of skeptics and jerk-offs.
I am...
That's only the hot chicks who talk like that to me.
I don't know about you.
I am...
The reason I've always subscribed to the skeptic side of this equation, besides smart people like Freeman Dyson and Michael Crichton and Bert Rutan has a PowerPoint stack.
They're all funded by fossil fuel, man, and big oil.
What are you talking about?
There's a lot of smart engineers out there.
And then you hear about guys who...
Or climatologists who won't say anything because they get shouted down, which is what Crichton complained about.
But none of this was the reason I am on board with the skeptic side.
It's because of cap and trade.
If you're so serious about this, what is the point of the trade?
Just cap it.
You can't cap it.
If this was a horrible situation, you would cap it.
You'd just cap it.
They don't cap it.
They cap and trade.
So nothing changes.
It's all bullcrap.
It's a financial scam.
Cap and trade makes no sense.
Anyway, that's the reason.
Okay.
There was a fun little bit on C-SPAN yesterday.
Which, of course, had to move over to C-SPAN 3, and so I'm glad I have two machines running, because I was recording on one, and they're like, oh, it's not important anymore.
And a lot of people don't even have C-SPAN 3, I found out.
I do, but...
I don't.
I only get it on the computer.
Really?
The dish only has one and two, they don't have three?
Right.
Huh.
Well, there you go.
So, of course, the Attorney General, the Oversight Committee, the Judicial Oversight Committee with Attorney General Eric Holder, of course, that moves to C-SPAN 3.
So, you know, so you can't actually hear it.
We don't want to watch it.
We don't want, yeah.
So, there's a number of things that were talked about here, and I pulled a couple clips just because I thought they were funny.
Did you see any of the hearing?
No, I missed the whole thing.
Oh, good.
Well, here are the highlights.
You don't need much more than what I'm going to play for you.
First, we start with Representative Delvaney, and she has a question regarding the IRS. This was in the news recently, so it's a very relevant question.
The IRS having the authority...
To read your email.
Unlike, you know, they can't read your mail, they can't come into your house and just bust it open and just grab stuff.
And it's really interesting to hear how hold, because you don't, obviously, you have to see it to know what happened here.
So this question comes up, and people were handing him notes the entire time.
And he is now trying to read the note and not doing a good job of it.
Yeah.
A few weeks ago, there were news reports about documents obtained by the American Civil Liberties Union, the ACLU, that revealed internal memos that said the FBI believed it could obtain the contents of Americans' emails without a warrant if the emails were sent to or received by a third-party service like Hotmail or Yahoo, Outlook.com, Gmail.
Do you believe the government has a right to obtain emails without a warrant?
Well, first I'll ask you that.
So here's like...
Right back to our post office argument.
The show is getting repetitive.
Yep.
Well, the...
He's looking at the note and he can't figure out...
It's either he can't read the handwriting...
There's a talking point on there.
He can't find it.
He can't figure it out.
The authorities that we have are, I guess, in some ways, you know, defined by ECPA... So he's just reading ECPA, which of course is the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, but he doesn't even...
He's an ECPA, because he has no idea what he's talking about.
And we have testified, people have testified on behalf of the Justice Department, is how we...
This was funny, right?
I'm like, you can't write this.
This is a gem.
Update the abilities that we have, so that we are...
We have the ability to conduct investigations in...
As quick a fashion as we can, given the new technologies that we face.
And how would we apply rules that exist?
Let's try this one.
The Constitution, you douche.
With regard to obtaining information without court orders in this new era.
And so I think that's the question that we wrestle with.
I just thought that was great, how he's like...
They don't wrestle very hard, do they?
Well, so there's a follow-up, and he just wants new rules.
New rules.
Certainly we can find some rules to, I don't know, just trample on the Constitution.
You do not have the right, but they're going to come up with these rules, and of course now everyone is all on board with their Gmail, their Outlook, their Hotmail, whatever.
I run my own mail server, people, and I think you should do the same.
So, you know, the only way they can get to it is physically coming into my house or hacking into my computer, which both would...
No one here, except Miss Mickey maybe, is going to hand it over like Google.
You know, like Google, your friend over there, Matt Cutts.
You're not going to get that.
So here's him talking about the rules.
I think we have become more and more an information society, and...
We still have and should have expectations of privacy, however it is that we communicate.
At the same time, I want to make sure that law enforcement, in the way that it did 40, 50 years ago, has the ability to acquire information.
Now, help me with this.
40, 50 years?
He wants it to be as good as 40, 50 years ago.
So that would place it at...
The 70s?
The late 70s?
The Nixonian era?
Was that a great time for everybody?
No, it was a depression from 69 to about 80.
So he feels that he wants it to go back to those good old days when I guess you could just bust down and get whatever you wanted?
I'm not sure what he means by that.
Can you play it again so I can listen to it more carefully?
Yeah, what are you doing?
I'm listening, but I wasn't listening with that in mind.
To make sure that law enforcement, in the way that it did 40, 50 years ago, has the ability to acquire information.
And how we strike that balance, I think, is really important and is really one of the most important conversations that I think that we can have in the 21st century and one that I think that this administration would like to engage with Congress on so that we come up with a set of rules that are probably not perfect.
Probably not.
But we'll meet somewhere in the middle so that we can maintain privacy while at the same time maintaining that ability that law enforcement has to have.
Law enforcement has to have that ability!
Maybe it's because there was no encryption.
You could just put an alligator clip on the telephone pole.
Is that what he means by that?
You know, I think he's blowing smoke.
I don't think he means anything by it.
So he got really, so now we get into some anger, which was always fun.
Oh!
Yeah, yeah, him and ISA got into it.
Mr.
Attorney General.
This is about, okay, so there's a little setup to this.
So he's been called in, and, you know, of course, the White House, the most transparent administration in all of history ever.
Have released a whopping 34 emails.
Headers only, by the way.
Just headers.
Not even the content of the emails.
Which is fair, because that's all they get from us when they tap us.
And Issa cracks a joke, and Holder goes off on it.
Our investigators have seen 34 of the 35 admitted emails that violate the Federal Records Act.
They have only seen the to and from.
They have not seen the deliberative contents, and they have not seen the remainder of the 1,200 emails.
Mr.
Cummings, my ranking member, joined in a letter requesting that we have the full contents pursuant to our subpoena of all 1,200.
Will you make them available to the committee based on our bipartisan request?
I will certainly look at the request.
It's not something that I've personally been involved in, but I'll look at the request and try to be as responsive as we can.
I'm sure there must have been a good reason why only the to and from parts were...
Yes, you didn't want us to see the details.
Mr.
Attorney General...
No, no.
That's what we typically do.
No, I'm not going to stop talking now.
Characterize something as something...
Mr.
Chairman, would you inform the witness as to the rules of this committee?
...that is inappropriate and is too consistent with the way in which you conduct yourself as a member of Congress.
It's unacceptable and it's shameful.
The gentleman has the time, and the gentleman may ask the questions that...
It's shameful!
Stop pestering me!
It's shameful!
Don't do that anymore!
So this, of course, is a Republican-dominated conversation, which makes it even funnier.
And we have...
I think he's a new guy, Collins?
Is Collins new to the process here?
I don't know of Collins.
The only one I know is the woman Collins up in...
No, this is Dude Collins.
I think he's from...
I think he's from Texas.
Oh, yeah, there is a call.
He's new, right?
Yeah, I think he's new.
Yeah, consult the Book of Knowledge on that.
So, Collins, so here's...
I'll use Google to look it up.
Yeah, please.
Oh, you are so hypocritical, you.
You hypocrite.
Okay.
By the way, I use Yacy as my search engine.
Y-A-C-Y. Yet another search engine, which is a peer-to-peer search engine.
I suggest everyone give it a try.
You should use DuckDuckGo.
Yeah, that's not venture funded.
They're not trying to make any money on you.
They're all good.
They're all great.
Who bought AltaVista?
Remember AltaVista?
I think it was bought by Google.
Didn't Yahoo buy that?
Oh, maybe.
Yahoo and Google would start buying everybody up, and then Yahoo ended up using the Microsoft product.
It just baffles me.
Anyways, go on.
Y-A-C-Y-A-C. You should be looking at that.
It's not fast enough for doing stuff during the show.
That's the problem.
But it'll get better.
I stick with this stuff.
Anyway, so Collins, so part of the IRS issue, is it IRS or AP? One of the scandals.
Attorney General Holder, who of course works for...
Chris Collins, he's in New York.
Or Doug Collins.
Chris Collins?
Yeah.
Or Collins.
It's Ford Collins.
It's got to be...
He's a Republican, so I don't know.
Anyway.
So, Holder was supposed to recuse himself from the investigation.
This is AP. This is spying on reporters.
Right.
Classic.
Classic, of course.
But we had to do that, obviously, for national security, because we were all going to die if they didn't spy on the journalists.
And the journalist, you know, was like...
They're making a big stink out of it for some leverage, but let's really be honest.
They need this complete compromise situation to continue, so it's meaningless.
But because of Holder's previous law firm, he had to recuse himself from the investigation.
But he forgot to put it in writing, which kind of means like you didn't actually recuse yourself.
Maybe he did.
Maybe he's not sure about...
Well, gee, now I'm not sure what...
He doesn't know what he's doing?
He doesn't really know what he's doing.
No.
I'm trying to find out who authorized the subpoena.
You can't tell me if Deputy Attorney General Cole authorized...
I'm sorry.
That's the wrong clip.
Here's the clip I made.
The question that I have is, this being the...
Committee in which is oversight that you come to, and this will be maybe the first, but probably not the only time we'll talk in this capacity, is it concerns me the lack of preparation.
He's from Texas for sure.
He's definitely not the same guy I'm looking at.
Perceived lack of preparation, which you come here today.
And Ms. Lofgren from across album made a statement about did you put it in writing, and we've had this discussion about your recusal.
And your answer to that was that I don't think I put it in writing.
I'm not sure.
Did you not think those questions were going to be asked of you today?
That is a classic.
Did you not think when you put your dick in there that that was not a bad thing to do?
Billy Bob?
That when you recused yourself from this, when you were actually...
Did you just honestly think those would not be asked today?
I didn't think about whether or not you were going to ask me that question one way or the other, but I wanted to...
You're kidding me.
You come to this committee today with these issues like they are right now.
This guy is great.
This is so country.
So country.
And it's about to get ugly.
Let me finish, Congressman.
What I said, what I was going to say was that I asked my own people whether or not there was a...
Mr.
Chairman, can you make your ruling again on who controls the time?
Give him extra time.
The time is controlled by the gentleman from Georgia.
He can have extra time.
Who controls the time?
Give him extra time.
The time is controlled by the gentleman from Georgia.
He can have extra time.
Let me just answer the question.
He can't say he has extra time.
I know.
I know.
Here it comes.
You can't control the time here.
You don't control the time, bitch!
I love it.
It was so wonderful.
I'm willing to give...
Okay.
But my question is this.
He's like, I'm willing to give...
Now, Holder is saying, I'm willing to give you more time.
This guy is so arrogant.
As I come back to this...
Mr.
Chairman...
Could the witness have a chance?
The witness will have a full opportunity to respond, but the gentleman from Georgia has the opportunity to ask his question.
Mr.
Chairman, just to make a point, the Attorney General stayed here extra time.
Now, these, of course, are the Democrats all piling on.
And you're about to hear our favorite, what's-her-face, Cheryl Lee Jackson.
Cheryl Lee Ralph, whatever.
To make sure that everyone had a chance to ask their question.
Considering the fact that he's still here past his time, Why can't he answer the question that's posed to him?
He will get an opportunity to answer the question just as soon as Mr.
Collins finishes posing his questions, and we'll give him extra time after Mr.
Collins' time has expired, just as we have done for the Attorney General on several occasions.
Mr.
Chairman, may I just a moment?
I would appreciate it.
I know that some of us have...
Deep bass-like voices might sound that we're not being friendly and happy, but I would appreciate a little civility in the questioning of the Attorney General as we proceed to the conclusion.
And this, I didn't, what the hell is she talking about?
Because Collins doesn't have a deep bass voice.
Who has a deep bass voice on here except for Holder?
She does.
Mr.
Chairman, can we have some civility?
Stop pestering my man.
I yield back.
The gentleman from Georgia may proceed.
Thank you, Mr.
Chairman.
I just have just a simple question.
It was amazing to me that the question was, did you not think...
That you would be asked about.
Maybe the timeline on when you might have recused yourself.
Because you also said, at one point, you recused yourself before subpoenas.
There was some question, even in your own dialogue, about when you actually did this.
So I'm just asking...
Just so you hear how your government works, wait for it.
A simple question.
As the others on the other side, they've got to ask their questions.
I'm now asking mine.
Did you not think that someone on this panel would have asked you those questions?
I did not know whether anybody would ask you that question, but irrespective of that, I thought that was an important factor, an important fact, and it was one of the reasons why I asked my staff to find out Irrespective of what was going to happen up here today, whether or not there was in writing a recusal.
I've asked that question myself, thinking that it wasn't.
I said to myself, self?
Did you put that recusal in writing?
Or could you make it a little vague so you can say you did that recusal post-mortem so you can rectify the Abilify problem when it comes up?
Important question.
I did not know.
I don't know what you are going to ask me.
So that's why I was saying I didn't know whether or not you were going to ask the question, but I thought it was an important one and one that I put to my staff.
I put that to my staff and they said, we don't know, but you can say you know that you didn't know that maybe you had the recusal written in writing, but, you know, hey, I don't know what you want to ask me.
So here is the final clip that I'll play from this, where his true colors come through, where he gets his extra time, and he throws a smack-down, shut-up slave.
Because, you know, the Attorney General, what is he to the American people?
He's the number one law enforcer.
But is he the boss of me?
Well, he shouldn't be.
He works for you.
He's actually your servant.
Thank you.
A civil servant.
He works for me, and his primary job is to uphold and protect the Constitution.
But that's not how Attorney General Eric Holder sees himself when you get in his face.
That's fine.
And look, I respect the oversight role that Congress plays.
This isn't always a pleasant experience.
This is one that I recognize that you go through as an executive branch officer.
The one thing I've tried to do is always be respectful of the people who have asked me questions.
I don't frankly think I've always been treated with a great deal of respect.
And it's not even a personal thing.
If you don't like me, that's one thing.
But I am the Attorney General of the United States.
Hey.
Woo!
And just so you know, I can fuck you up.
This is crazy!
These people are so out of control.
Anyway, so that was about it.
I mean, of course there's nothing else because they're all just playing little footsies and little games, and they're all complicit in the game.
Anyway, the guy's Doug Collins.
He's District 9 in Georgia.
Oh, Georgia.
That makes sense.
Good.
Good on him.
Well, I thought it was pretty funny.
He was certainly entertaining as a new player on the scene.
Yeah, but he was on C-SPAN 3.
He's like on a minor league team.
He's going to have to move up the ladder here to get our attention.
He's got some work to do.
I'm going to show my salute by donating to No Agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh, yeah, that'd be fun.
Yeah, on No Agenda.
No agenda like a kick to the crotch!
Seems that you like that.
I like it very much.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, I do.
We do have a couple people to thank, and let's thank him.
Kevin Lacombe in Port Orchard, Washington.
$146.
Pleased to hear of the many producers in Port Orchard and other parts of the Kitsap County.
That's so awesome!
Sounds like a great place for a future Hot Pocket Tour stop today.
Thursday is my wife Adelaide's birthday.
Do we have her on the list?
Do we?
Let me check, let me check, let me check, let me check, let me check.
Adele, sorry.
Adele Lacombe.
Capital L, small A, capital C, small O, small M, small B, small E. Hold on, where are you even looking?
What?
Where are you reading this from?
I'm reading it off the spreadsheet.
I don't see it.
Okay, well then put it on.
Okay, well, so it's Kevin Lacombe.
But this is not my job!
It's...
Kevin Lacombe says happy birthday to...
What's his name?
Adele?
What's her name?
Adele.
Adele.
A-D-E-L-E. Adele.
Okay.
Got it.
Jeez.
He wants a hot milfin at LGY. I thought we weren't doing this anymore.
We get to do...
We spot.
We do spots.
Okay, but I was like, I'm writing down, I'm doing a lot of work here.
I'm writing down birthdays.
I'm like, oh, now we've got to do this.
That's one hot milk, baby.
Yay!
All right.
Alejandro, 1111.
Michael Sopko, Belmar, Joycey, $100.
That was a check.
Christopher McClymont in Lewisham, New South Wales, $100.
He sends $100 because love is the most powerful thing on the planet.
By the way, that was...
Go back to the Google thing again.
They kept doing the love thing.
Well, they ripped it off from...
Love.
It's the most powerful thing on the planet.
They ripped it off.
That's what it is.
They're trying to kill you with love.
Be careful.
Be careful of unicorns.
San Francisco, $88.88.
The Cook in Guthrie, Oklahoma, $88.88.
Hold on a second.
I've got to rewind it.
I'm going to get a new tape recorder.
Get a new tape recorder.
You need a new tape recorder?
Yeah.
On Sunday, he sent a successful in-the-morning message via APRS up to the International Space Station.
I checked.
He did.
It was received and digipated.
What?
Digipated.
As a digipated.
Oh, digipated.
Way to go, Ham.
It was digipated back down to all.
Nothing like using a $120 billion space station for our personal fun.
In the morning.
KD5 PDN. I love that.
It's true.
The APRS, you can send messages, but you can send location data, and it connects to the internet.
But it's really fun when it connects through the radio waves.
So you send it to the space station.
Good work!
We need more of that.
Much more of that.
Very good.
I like the expense of it, too.
And that was Doug Cook, right?
Yeah.
Paul Schneider in Edmonton, Alberta.
Chicken.
69, 60, 90.
That's our new theme for 69, 60?
That's one of our producers.
A little kid?
Yeah, that's one of our producers.
Kind of gross.
Edmonton, Alberta.
There should be a note about that.
Is there not a note?
I didn't see it.
You know, it's like, I'm getting worried now because...
Michael, let's go on.
Let's get these done.
Michael Miller and Tiburon Califf.
Don't get worried.
6969.
He's our buddy over here.
Christina Lake in Lisbon, Maine.
6969.
And do we have the 32nd birthday to our awesome husband, Sir Richard Harriman?
Yes.
Patrick Vaughn, Sir Patrick Vaughn in Traverse City.
Michigan, $69.69.
And he needs his ring, so I'm on it.
$69!
$69, dude!
Barbara Klein, Greenwood, Indiana, $67.
And she had a check.
She sent a check in with a note I have here.
She goes on and on.
By the way, did you know that kids today can't read longhand?
Really?
Really?
Yeah.
Is that fact?
It's fact.
My son, Jay, Buzzkill Jr., can't read longhand.
My daughter can't read longhand.
They don't teach it anymore.
Well, what did they learn in that homeschool of yours?
Oh, they wouldn't learn longhand.
They would type.
Everything is on the computer.
They don't write.
And so when somebody writes in a long note like Barbara Klein did here, I have to read it myself.
Okay, so here's how...
I'm trying to figure out where you're going.
I get it.
So the spreadsheet's being put together, and a check comes in with a note, and the kids are all like, can you read this crap?
I don't want that.
I can't read this.
Screw it.
Just throw the note in front of Dad's nose.
He'll figure it out.
So anyway, she says our efforts are heroic.
I had to read that.
And she says you'll soon be permanent residents of the SPLC list.
I have been on that list myself.
She's talking about the Google.
Southern Poverty Law Center is what she's talking about.
That's the SPLC. Yeah, that's what I think.
You're a hate group.
Oh, that's what she's talking about.
Yeah.
Okay, I didn't get it at first.
We're not a hate group.
Yes, you are.
What do you mean me?
You.
Specifically you.
I'm smelling like a rose.
Because I talk about unicorns and rainbows.
And you're all about just hate and anger.
Personal auto advisors in Gardner, Kansas.
6788.
He was saving to become a knight with one big donation.
But the IRS decided that I made too much money.
Now my wife says all the extra money has to go to the IRS bill before I can have a life.
I hate that.
He's going for Grand Duke.
A. Schlund Bodine.
Sir Scott William.
Sir Scott William.
I don't know what that is all about.
Ann Arbor, Michigan.
55-55.
And we have Alicia May.
Is she on the list?
We have a lot of birthdays today.
We do.
We do.
Stephan from Denver.
Or Stephen.
Double Eagles on the Dime.
James Mann in Ringgold, Louisiana.
Double Eagles on the Dime.
Also a check, right?
These are all checks.
This is good.
Sorry, what?
These are all checks that are coming in.
People are using checks.
Good.
Stephanie Lusby in Midlothian.
You know how to pronounce that.
So why do we think it's Stephen, but then it's not Stepheny?
I don't think it's Stephen.
I think it's Stephan.
And it's Stephanie.
I think it's Stephen and Stephanie.
Stephanie.
Okay.
All right.
He needs a MILF call out for his wife, Stephanie.
Stephanie.
A donation from Tom.
Ah, but it's on her account.
Well, just give her a MILF. MILF. That's one mother I'd like to.
Matthew Forrest in Whaley Bridge, Derbyshire.
Double nickels on the dime.
Had a tough couple years.
Does he want a karma?
I don't see anything.
Oh, he would like to hear a Kiki Science, as her voice gives me a semi.
All right.
Shut up already!
Science!
All right, back off.
You have a semi for more than three hours.
Consult your health care provider.
Marvin...
Stoltzfus.
I'm not having any fun.
Marvin Stoltzfus in Honeybrook, Pennsylvania.
$55.50.
Thank you.
$51.50.
Sorry.
Mary Messner in Fair Oaks, California.
$50.
Kevin Payne.
Kevin Payne in Richmond, Virginia.
$50.
Eric Olson.
Do we have another birthday?
We have another birthday.
Annika?
Annika?
Not Annika.
Annika.
Okay.
Annika.
Is she on the list?
Yes, she's on the list.
Water Valley, Mississippi Nuts.
And Josh McDonald, Brunswick Victorious, Jason Fortune, Geneva, Illinois, Chris Sir Chris Lewinsky in Sherwood Park, Alberta, where all the money is.
Brandon Savoy in Port Orchard, Washington, another one.
Mike Westerfield, Sir Mike to you.
And finally, Philip Meason in Paus.
And Dan Greb in Lansdale, Pennsylvania.
All $50.
And we want to thank every one of them for contributing to the show.
513.
And do you have a note from someone who's...
He just wants us to acknowledge the note.
Yes, note acknowledged.
It's a fear fan at Yahoo.
So we'll...
Billy.
Oh, Billy.
All right.
So this could have been better, and I'm very concerned because there's a lot of knights and dukes and earls who are in this list.
Not a lot of new people, not a lot of people who have been...
I know you've been listening and haven't contributed, so you clearly don't see the value in it.
Okay, good.
We do have a lot of nights in this list.
Well, that's what's great about it.
But, you know, come Sunday, we'll see how great we feel come Sunday.
The 6969, by the way, that is little Damien.
Whose dad, Aaron, that's Damien Yoho!
You know, Aaron Yoho.
He's a long-term supporter of the program.
Damien turns four today, and much to his mom's chagrin, this is what he keeps repeating around the house.
Shaking on!
Just see mom getting really pissed about that.
What is this no agenda crap?
Those guys are ruining our child!
I also have a quick note here that I neglected on Sunday.
I want to thank producer Mike from the main town of Newport.
We live in a small main town in Newport and a double lot have several mature maple trees on the property.
Three years ago, we tapped our trees for the first time and started down the road of making our own maple syrup ever since.
And they sent us a jar of their own maple syrup.
Indeed.
Which I... Did you get some as well?
Yes.
Have you tried it yet?
Of course.
And what did you think?
I think it's outstanding.
Outstanding product.
I would agree.
I had it on the pancake Sunday.
And for some reason I didn't get to it.
But it goes quick.
It's just like gold.
It's like liquid gold.
Like, oh man.
And we had guests over on Sunday.
And they got up a little bit late, and here's what I did.
So Ms.
Mickey, of course, always makes pancakes on Sunday.
It's for good luck and karma.
So I had my pancakes with the homemade maple syrup, and our guest came down for pancakes.
I gave him the Whole Foods stuff.
That sucks.
I'm not going to waste my great milk.
That's exactly right.
In fact, it's Mickey's family.
And she said, no, don't give them that.
And she's right.
Screw that.
I do love getting all the homemade products.
We never heard from a No Agenda Moonshine guy again, ever.
I don't know what happened to him.
I don't know.
I mean, that product is so outstanding.
He had to figure out who he was.
He had to dig through the mail.
I don't think, I don't know, maybe he missed the fact that we love this stuff and this bottle's dynamite.
And I have like a little layer left in the bottle and I'm just saving it.
Oh, I have only had the one, no, I haven't even, I had the one taste of it.
I refuse to drink it down because it's too much of a conversation piece.
I have almost just annihilated the whole bottle, and I'm just keeping a little bit left.
You know that moment in time where the planet's going to crash into the Earth and we're all going to die?
That moment, I'll be like, ah, this is what I've been looking forward to.
And I'll have that last sip of no agenda moonshine.
Adios, mofos.
That'll be it.
It's stronger than Everclear.
It's 90% alcohol.
It's 180 proof.
Yeah.
It is Everclear.
It's probably a weapon of mass destruction, if you think about it.
It's Windex.
What are you talking about?
But it's an outstanding product, and I really miss it.
And I also, I just want to thank Elise Garling again, who sent the Limoncello, which...
Somehow your bottle got mixed up with my bottle, John.
And both bottles are gone.
Both bottles are gone.
That stuff's strong.
I'm glad I stopped drugs, because alcohol is so much more fun.
It really is.
Alcohol is known to be great.
Alcohol is fantastic.
It really is.
We just got to watch it.
You know, Miss Mickey gets a little loopy.
Oh, and you're a lightweight.
Oh, no, I am.
I'm two or three.
I'm done.
You know me.
Yeah, I do.
And it's like, I find it highly amusing.
Because I would have to, at this point, assume it's genetic.
It's like you're...
I'm sure I can do it.
I'm Asian?
Yeah.
I need to test for that Asian gene.
Please consider us with your donation.
The monthlies are great, by the way.
I love it when you guys sign up for the monthlies because if we ask long enough, in about 10 years, we'll be able to sustain.
Even though they cancel people left and right for no apparent reason.
And now they're sending them notices to scare the public.
I got an email from Mrs.
G. Roper, our TSA shill, who gave us all the inside dirt on...
On how to get through the, without going through the slave scanner?
Yeah.
So he is an actual TSA employee, and she sent me a very long, very lovely note, and what she really, you know, we really have no money as a lowly, low life, I think she meant to say, a TSA employee, but we really are big fans of the show, and that's why they, you know, given us all these tips.
But Friday the 17th is their fifth wedding anniversary, and she wanted me to say happy anniversary to G. Roper and to her, of course.
You know what?
Send a picture.
I wonder what these TSA guys are getting.
It would be nice if I could see your face, but that's okay.
You know, the TSA people get a miserable job and then they have to put up with us.
Well, us and the public in general.
And they're represented by Blogger Bob.
Some of them are a-holes, there's no doubt about that.
You always would cite the guys who used to be shouting all the time.
You know, those guys.
Of course, they've all quit by now.
Now that people are left over are kind of like, you know, they can't get out of their kinds of work.
But also, imagine the public-facing front of your organization is Blogger Bob.
I mean, how...
Blogger Bob.
God, that guy's an idiot.
What a dick.
Yeah, that's bad.
What a dick.
Okay.
And now let's hit our birthdays.
It's a birthday, birthday.
Oh, no, I'm champion.
Christina Lake Harriman says, happy birthday, sir.
Richard Harriman turned 32 on the 14th.
Sir Scott William says happy birthday to Alyssa May.
She celebrated yesterday.
Eric Olson says happy birthday to his daughter Annika.
She celebrates tomorrow.
Aaron Yoho, of course, as we know, says happy fourth birthday to Slavelet Damien.
He is celebrating today.
John congratulates himself turning 46 tomorrow.
Dan Dudas!
His brother Chris Dudas turned 35 on the 10th.
Happy birthday.
Sorry we missed that, by the way.
I'm not quite sure what happened.
But, no, I do know what happened.
Buzzkill Jr.
messed it up.
So, happy birthday belatedly, Chris.
And Kevin LaCombe says happy birthday to the lovely Adele.
And we say happy birthday to all of you.
From your buddies here, the best podcast in the universe.
It's a birthday, yeah!
Hell yeah.
Um, how about...
How about this?
Adam's gonna read his email On the No Agenda Show It's a faster version.
You like it?
Much better, because the other one's just too...
It just drags a little bit.
Yeah, but it's a hit.
This is an existing melody.
Because I wind up singing this to myself.
Yeah, it sounds familiar.
I wind up singing it to myself.
I had something I was singing to myself the other day, and I still do this, and I think everybody who listens to this show a lot does this.
You're watching television, some guy comes on and you hear it in your head, douchebag.
Yeah, I hear that a lot.
You know what a lot of people have in their head is...
That one really, really freaks people out because you see the signs everywhere now.
And then, oh, and you see the words.
And then you're like, when are they going to license this from us?
I think it's a great...
Play it again.
Yeah, I mean, this is so license-worthy.
If you see something, see something.
And that is the Jeff Smith, you know, so...
Yeah, no, that's good stuff.
That is...
That is quality.
It's amazing how talented a jingle master can be when they do...
You just take the simple words and then, you know, it's better than auto-tunes.
So, we're in our slave training topic here, and, of course, we encourage...
Human resources to send us emails regarding their experiences in school with drills and the like.
And also we've been asking parents if their children come home with something weird.
And the thing that is just really loving so much, John, is that we have young people listening to this show.
We have teenagers, high school students listening to this show, which means there is hope.
Yes, there is hope.
So I'd like to share a couple of these emails if you're okay with that.
I think that's what the segment's all about.
All right, so here is producer Aaron.
I'm not only going to give first names because they're underage and we've got to be careful.
Hey Adam, Heil everybody!
When you get an email from a high school student who says Heil everybody, I mean, does that not just put a smile on your face, John?
It does for me.
I just listened to last Thursday's episode was listening to you reading about lockdown drills and just had to chime in on my experience.
Right after the Columbine, quote, massacre, I, in particular, was singled out as a potential shoot-em-up nutjob because, I suppose, I wore black all the time, listened to metal bands, and it was widely known that until 10th grade, the year before Columbine, I was often the victim of physical and emotional bullying.
Huh.
Unlike modern bullying campaigns, I ended this by stomping the ever-living shit out of the last person that bullied me, just as my father had told me to, finally.
And that pretty much ended it.
Very good.
Anyway, moving on.
After Columbine, I was called down to the guidance office all the time.
A county brownie, i.e. sheriff's officer, was present at all meetings.
At one of these intellectually exhaustive meetings, I was asked if I were to go on a rampage like the kids at Columbine, how would I go about it?
Tired of these overt, conspicuous meetings that made me even more of an outcast among the school populace, I decided to see if I could make these two assholes crap themselves like Al Roker in the White House.
Can you believe that these kids are great writers, John?
This is such a future.
They may not be able to read longhand, but boy, they got word skills.
I told them that since they've instituted these lockdown procedures, I'd found out that the principal's office area, a group of offices for the principal, vice principal, and guidance counselors, was where I'd go first, because there was a single button unlocked by a key the principal and vice principal had that magnetically sealed all classroom doors in the building.
I told them that'd be the first place I'd hit.
Lock down the school, cut the outside phone and network lines.
Cell phones weren't something every kid had at the time.
Then, using the principal's master key and knowing the windows didn't open, I'd go from room to room, opening them up, chucking in a grenade or something, finishing off anyone who was left.
This way I told them I'd get the maximum kill count.
Well, the look on their face was priceless.
I believe this too.
I really believe this happened.
I told them that in locking down the school, they were in fact putting everyone in more danger and would essentially be responsible for a school full of dead kids.
Then I told them that doing that would be easy, but I'm way too lazy to carry it out, so they had nothing to fear from me, but every reason to fear their own procedures.
After that, it was adios mofos, and they sent me on my way, never to interrogate me again.
They changed lockdown procedures after that by way of never having them again.
But I did notice that two more police were stationed there giving a total of three.
So this has been going on for some time, at least over a decade in regards of lockdown procedures.
Just had to chime in with my experience.
So I thought that was a very good email.
That's a very good email, and it actually makes sense.
Yeah, lockdown procedures.
For one thing, here's the way it's been going.
We've gotten the notes.
The kids get locked down.
They're told to hide, and they lock the doors, and then everyone, shh, shh, don't say anything.
So the guy's coming in to kill all the kids, and all of a sudden the school's empty?
Is that what they're trying to make him think?
It's mad shh.
There's nobody here.
There's nobody here.
I might as well go someplace else.
This guy, our friend here, he's right.
It's creating a situation that will end up with a school full of dead kids.
Because that's what you do.
You lock it down so you can't get out.
And then you throw a grenade in each one of the rooms.
Exactly what he said.
Dead on.
Dead right.
Second email from Nick Hill.
Hi, Adam.
I've been a listener to the show for a year now, but I'm a high school junior, so I have no money to donate.
I'll donate once I have money to spend.
Such a...
Logic is great.
At our school, they used to have drills similar to what was talked about on show 512, where the principal would come on the intercom and tell us, Code Blue!
To...
Code blue.
To trigger a lockdown.
We would then all hide in a corner like the subservient slaves that we are until the principal would say, All clear!
Wow.
This school year, as apparently district policy, we've been told to adopt a new strategy for combating any potential threat.
Arming ourselves!
Not with guns, of course, but with textbooks and calculators, pencils and pens.
We arm ourselves to attack an invader with whatever means necessary.
We also barricade the door with desks.
Apparently, they didn't think that a school shooter could break the glass window right next to the door.
Ha ha ha.
Needless to say, I prefer the new strategy better than cowering like slaves in the corner.
I like the concept of armed resistance in schools very much.
Living the mac and cheese life.
Hopefully soon to be producer.
You are always a producer when you contribute.
You're just not an executive producer.
Alright, no worries.
You'll hook us up when appropriate.
Okay, last one from Keegan.
Adam.
I really enjoyed your analysis of the anti-bullying epidemic.
I was talking to my dad about the issue of taunting him being a sports fan.
He told me that the Ohio State Buckeyes frequently get the taunting penalty pulled on them.
Apparently they have an O for Ohio printed on the underside of their gloves that they flash after scoring touchdowns.
They are prohibited from flashing this at the crowd as it arouses their fans and in turn hurts the other football team's feelings.
This guy's great.
Okay.
After thinking more on this, I realized that my school is just as bad as their see-something-say-something bully policy.
I go to the elitist white school, Matawan, in the right-wing hillbilly capital of the Communist Republic of Michigan, Kalamazoo.
Wow, this guy's good.
I realize that you two are completely correct about it being a slave training camp, and they've only upped the gun, not literally because guns are bad when the slaves have them.
My French teacher, for example, has locked her door every day since Columbine, which makes bathroom breaks a bitch, especially when one is late for class after the giant voice system has given us a FINAL WARNING! The teachers are also required to wear name tags and drills are very frequent.
In order to strike fear into our slaves, we are ordered to turn the lights off, crawl into the corner of the room on the same side of the door so that there are no peepers through the window of the door.
We then crouch down, or as we refer to it, bend over and shut up for 15 minutes.
My English teacher tells of a story when he was first teaching.
The SWAT team came to perform a safety drill at the school, and teachers were informed not to open their doors or speak at all.
Ten minutes went by, and assuming the drill was finished, he heard a knock at the door and proceeded to open it.
When he did, the stage shooter proceeded to shoot him with a blank in front of the class.
Oh, God.
This will show you, you douche.
Wow.
But this is nothing compared to the slave food lunches that we are served.
Every day, nachos are served.
They are essentially stale tortillas with cheap as wet cigarette butts, horse meat, and cheap cheddar melted on the top.
I have suggested to the office many times they should be serving tuna a la king, but they haven't responded, so I'm assuming it doesn't fit their budget.
It's...
The staff seems to have taken this just as well as they took the No Agenda CDs I gave them.
Love the show.
Wish you two best of luck.
Hookers and Blow from Keegan.
Good work, kids.
I love this.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
But this will be a regular segment that we'll probably have for about six months before we run out of material.
I mean, it just keeps going.
It really does.
It just keeps on going.
Yeah, so we invite anybody out there who has one of these school experiences at any level, including college, that's so ludicrous that you can't...
It's just that you're besides yourself.
Send the letter, we'll read it.
Yeah.
So was it not our economic hitman who told us...
Was it Malawi or Mali?
Did he say Malawi?
It was the other one.
Malawi or Mali?
I think it was...
No, I can't remember now.
I can't remember either.
But we've had our eye on Mali.
It may have been Malawi.
It may have been.
What has happened in front of our very eyes...
And this actually came at the same time...
Actually, the economic hitman was in town recently.
I didn't get in touch with him.
I've got to send him an email today, I guess, to figure out where he is.
Well, so this kind of fits in with an email that we got.
Just briefly, one of our producers who was in Belgium...
I said, in the morning, guys, I just want to let you know that today I sat in a series of NATO, of presentations at NATO HQ for all the Chiefs of Defense staff.
How cool is that?
That's very cool.
Yeah, without giving too much away, you are so absolutely spot on with your pipeline theories.
It really is all about the pipes.
Also, you may be interested to know that I am, that I had an I am awake moment.
The French gave a brief...
about the weapons arsenal they found in Mali.
Remember we were listening to the stories about they invaded the capital and they found like a dude with a hand grenade.
That was it.
That was the entire, like all the terrorists.
They found in Mali.
The weapons arsenal they found in Mali consisted of a few boxes of rounds and 27 rocket launcher grenades.
I said to the guy sarcastically that was scanning for illicit communication devices in the room, oh my God, look at all those weapons.
To which he replied with an open mouth, aghast, saying, yes, that's really serious stuff.
People are just idiots.
So, of course, Mali was all about total oil.
That's why the French went in there, because this is all about their oil turf.
And what happens?
And this just blew me away.
International donors, including over almost $2 billion from the European Union, but international donors have pledged $4.22 billion.
So this is your money too, by the way.
Everyone's in on this, but mainly the Europeans, the EU. The people have no jobs in the EU, but they're sending this money to Mali, To help Mali recover from a conflict with Al-Qaeda-linked Islamists exceeding the West African country's target.
Because of terrorism, they're sending your tax money, people in Euroland, to Mali.
But not to help the Malis, or the Malians, but to give it to international companies to build stuff that will benefit private organizations.
Mainly BP and Total Oil.
The EU's Executive Commission, God knows who they are, We'll allocate 524 million euros to Mali.
Large pledges by France, the United States, Britain, Germany, Denmark, the Netherlands, the Islamic Development Bank, and others, well, we've got to keep our eye on that one, in others, enabled the West African country to exceed its goal of raising 2 billion euros.
Hey, do you think it'll be just like Haiti?
Why don't you send them some cholera?
People seem to like that when you do that.
That's really cool.
And then, while we're on it, they're so desperate to get something going in Syria that now we have videos of the guy eating the guy's heart.
Did you see that?
This is new.
Oh, yeah.
But it's a rebel, which is interesting.
Cuts out the soldier's heart and eats it.
This is like, what is this?
This was obviously staged to get people into that, what I think was the second or third Indiana Jones movie?
Where the guy pulls the heart out of the person?
Well, I don't know.
Is it a movie promotion?
No, I don't think it's a movie promoter.
Well, maybe.
It might be a movie about this sort of thing.
But I'm just saying it's kind of a reminiscence.
But it's also something that throughout history, warriors have been known to eat their enemies to make them stronger.
This is nothing new.
I mean, it's just now we're all shocked by it, but it's nothing new.
But it's just like, we're so desperate to get attention for the Syria deal, which nobody cares about, because Angelina Jolie cut her tits off.
Who cares?
And the IMF, the International Monetary Fund, has okayed a $1.3 billion loan for...
Cyprus.
Good work.
Good work, everybody.
That's after they stole the money.
Yeah, of course.
Got a lot of feedback from people on the war on 3D printers.
A lot of agreement.
A lot of people saying, wow, you know, you have no idea how huge these printers are for what we do.
You know, there's so many companies that are against this.
This is a big lobby.
But still, no one's really been able to tell me much about this.
What's his name?
Cody.
Cody Wilson.
Now, a few things that are interesting to note.
And Sir Luke sent us this.
So, first of all, this Liberator is kind of a throwback to the FP-45 Liberator, which was a very cheap single-shot gun manufactured for by the U.S. military during World War II. And the idea was, you know, you drop a whole bunch of these things so that guys could, you know, if they were behind enemy lines, they could pick one up.
It was a.45 caliber single-shot And, you know, accuracy range about three feet, but you could use it to go, you know, go up and kill a guy and then grab his gun.
So calling it the liberator, a lot of people picked up on this, like, oh, hold on a second.
But then in Finland, they printed, they took Cody Wilson's CAD files, they printed the 3D Liberator, there's a great video of it in the show notes, 513.nashownotes.com.
They fire it, the thing explodes.
The bullet goes, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.
It explodes the minute they pull the trigger.
It's a piece of crap.
I have a feeling that maybe it's just a kill, like a suicide gun.
Someone sent me a very interesting email this morning.
Let me see who that was.
Producer Michael.
Adam, I'm listening to the Sunday, May 12th No Agenda episode.
I honestly had never heard of 3D printing, let alone that in conjunction with gun manufacturing.
I heard you discuss there not being any real info in the book of knowledge about Cody R. Wilson, outside of a bio supposedly about him, an American-born blah, blah, blah.
So I went...
Onto the video book of knowledge, the YouTubes, and found the 3D printed guns documentary.
This is the click print gun documentary, which was done over, I think, a year and a half ago.
When I was in watching it, I picked up on what I had to believe an accent.
So I closed my eyes and listened to Cody speak.
I believe he is from Australia or somewhere in the UK. Yeah.
I think it holds more clues as to where this gentleman is really from and about his backers' true intentions.
I'd be willing to bet he is not American-born.
And I listen.
Do you want to listen to it a little bit?
Yeah.
I think I've only been in Texas for 14, 15 months, and it sounds a little Texan, but wow, does he sound Australian one.
I have to agree.
Listen.
Sir, this is my warehouse.
Even the way he says sir.
Did you hear that right off the bat?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sir is my warehouse.
It's like Julian Assange, which puts a whole other connotation to it.
So this is my warehouse.
God, that sounds British.
Basically, it's a space that we've been using since August.
We have a 3D printer on site, which means when you get a federal firearms license, your activity and the location are all tied together.
Okay.
I'm going to disagree because he sounds enough like Elon Musk to make me think he's South African, which would make a lot of sense because this is where these guns are going to end up.
In Africa.
Ooh, South Africa.
That could be true, too.
That could be true.
Well, so you're not really disagreeing.
You're saying it's just not Australia.
Right.
But I could pick up on South African.
I didn't really catch that.
Let me listen.
So I can't have the license and go do things somewhere else.
I have to have it at a location.
And this is the object, Kinex printer, that we've been using from the very beginning.
Our very first low receiver is printed here.
hooked it up to an upper and fired it.
So the project begins and no one will listen to you.
And no one will listen to you.
I don't think it's South African, John.
I know South African.
It sounds a lot like Elon Musk and he's South African.
South Africans, you know, it's not...
Yeah, but it's more of a South Africans sing more, because we have here at the market, we have the Happy Vegans with their pastries and their South African, and this is not...
Okay, well, I'm just saying, it would make more sense, but it could be anything, but it's not helping us still...
And we know he's not from around here, we can say.
Well, I'm crowdsourcing this in the chat room right now.
Let's continue for another 30 seconds.
Okay, so this is...
Oh, by the way, people in the chat room, 513.nashownotes.com isn't live until after the show is published.
Duh.
...printed lower with an AR-57 upper.
You fight just to be heard.
We break it.
And then something changes, and then you're heard.
We hypothesized a gun control future, right?
Even when they weren't coming for us.
You said that three or four months ago.
That's right.
Joe Biden.
This is no country for old men.
We really don't think it's a stunt, man.
I think the state's now making it easier for us to prove this point, whatever this permanent assault weapon ban is going to be.
How's that national conversation going?
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's hard.
Whatever.
We'll figure it out eventually.
I still know what he's up to.
The gun can't fire once.
The little pistol is useless.
It's certainly weird that there's no real bio on him.
Law student.
Yeah.
So I found a couple of interesting things.
Aaron Burnett had a little report on Gitmo.
And I just want to play this because this is a...
As you recall, our president said the first thing he was going to do when he became president was shut down Gitmo.
And you'd think with the rationale of what it costs, do you have any idea?
What does it cost to keep a prisoner in a Texas jail, for example?
You know?
Yeah, well, I saw this report, so I won't give it away.
But in a Texas jail, I think it's about $75,000 a year.
That's high.
Most jails are about $40,000.
Yeah, but, you know, but...
We're Texas, man.
We do things big here.
So let's play this Costa Gitmo clip.
Continue to believe that we've got to close Guantanamo.
It costs taxpayers about $25,000 a year to keep someone in federal prison.
At a supermax high-security prison where convicted terrorists are held, the tab can top $60,000.
Sounds expensive until you compare it to what it costs here at Guantanamo Bay.
It costs $900,000 per We're good to go.
CNN got exclusive access inside the cell blocks of Camps 5 and 6.
But what we don't see here is Camp 7, the ultra-secretive compound where Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and other high-value detainees are being kept.
It's totally off limits to the media.
But it may hold the clue to what the Obama administration really has planned for Guantanamo Bay.
Officials won't divulge details on potential renovations to Camp 7.
I'll simply say that there is a need.
I mean, the facilities are in need of upgrade and replacement.
The military is asking for $50 million to build a new Camp 7.
Does that suggest that this isn't closing anytime soon?
We have to always plan to conduct that mission.
Anyway, so they're building the place up.
Most of the cost, it turns out, is because we have bad relations with Cuba because they can just outsource.
Apparently you have to ship the food in there from the United States.
Well, you know what we have there.
There's McDonald's, Domino's, there's a shopping mall.
I have to remind you, you don't see this, but Guantanamo Bay is paradise.
If you get shipped off there to go work, it's great.
The weather's nice.
You got Dillard's.
I mean, everything's there.
We need to get some photos of the, not of the prison, because you're not going to get those, but of the town.
I have photos of the green zone.
It's the same thing.
Big Ass Blonde will send it to us.
She just got back from Gitmo, or she's on her way back.
She tried to get us to visit the Big Ass Blonde from San Antone.
Oh, the Big Ass Blonde.
Actually, I'd love to visit.
I'd like to go to Cuba.
I'd like to visit with her.
I'll tell you.
I got a new Sharpton idiotic comment.
Oh, fantastic.
We'll put it in our melody.
Medley.
Play it?
Yeah, hit it.
Could this ultimately end up backfiring on the Republicans?
Are they over-jumping the runway here?
Well, he's clued in.
What is overjumping the runway?
It's a technical term that happens when you're flying.
Sometimes, like, I'm going to put it right, I'm going to land here.
Oh, I overjumped the runway.
Oh, damn it.
I hate it when that happens.
But he knows.
Was this in relation to any of these scams?
Was this in relation to the IRS scandal?
Yeah, so he knows.
He's already been clued in.
Yeah, I'm sure he has.
Dr.
Fauci, thanks so much, as always, for joining us.
Good to be here, bro.
Just had to play it.
Once in a while, you just got to play that thing.
So the Australians have got something going on with Dubai.
There apparently has been a deal done with Qantas and Emirates Air to start making Dubai, which is still a long haul from Australia, the destination if you want to go on vacation.
And now it turns out that you don't really want to go there, especially if you're a woman.
And you can just play the opening clip, which is Dubai 1, and then I'll play clip 2.
The Dark Side of Dubai and the United Arab Emirates.
It promotes itself as a desert paradise and is set to become a mecca for Aussie travellers.
But don't be deceived by the apparent tolerance of Western ways because fall foul of Sharia law and you're in a whole world of trouble.
Just like Australian Alicia Garley jailed because she was raped.
This special investigation from Ross Coulthard.
Anyway, it goes on with this long story about this poor woman who worked at the W Hotel, and she was raped by a bunch of employees, gang raped, actually.
Really?
And it was all men, and she was told not to go to the police because they'll throw her in jail.
And then somebody else advised her, yeah, no, don't worry about it, go to the police.
She went to the police, she got eight years in jail.
Wow.
I've been to Dubai on vacation.
It was the biggest mistake ever.
Yeah, it's a very sketchy place.
It's a boring place.
You play Dubai Clip, and this is just another...
To show you what an extreme it is, this clip has a...
With four male friends, Charlotte came here for a late-night snack after an evening out.
Earlier, she'd given Eamon, a fellow Londoner, a friendly kiss on the cheek to say hello.
Code blue!
They finished their meal, they paid, and left, only to be stopped by the police.
Are they arrested you?
Yeah, there and then on the spot.
What did they accuse you of?
They didn't say anything at first.
They didn't say anything.
We got driven to Jebel Alley police station, and they called us in one by one, and then he was just asking me, like, what I'd been doing that evening, so I said, you know, just been out, like, got some food.
He was like, were you kissing him?
And I was like, no.
And he's like, did you kiss him?
And I was like, well, we would have kissed on the cheeks to say hi, but apparently as soon as I said we kissed on the cheeks...
That was it.
It was like, kissing on the cheek is illegal.
Charlotte spent 23 days behind bars before being deported.
Hold on, I've got to put some serious music behind us for this.
All right.
So I... These are good stories, and I'm not sure who's behind them or why, because you'd think they'd be promoting the Qantas connection.
But I think it's probably the Indonesians, because the place that they want to send the Australians is Bali, of course.
Right, right, right.
So I suspect there's some foul play behind these reports, but these reports are probably true.
And I want to remind...
I think I may have told you this before.
I took an Emirates flight once.
And it's always rated by an airline magazine as the greatest airline, and it's not.
It's one of the good airlines, but it's not the greatest.
The greatest airlines are either Cathay Pacific or Singapore, those guys.
But what they do is you get on the plane, and they walk down the aisle with the magazine and the page that says, nominate your favorite carrier, and they literally make you sign the document.
Do you want good service on this flight?
I just thought that was hilarious.
Wasn't Bali where a whole bunch of Australians were killed in a bomb?
Yeah, by a Muslim group.
So that's what it was all about, huh?
That was promotion for Dubai.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe some battle going on between Dubai and these other destinations.
But Dubai, if I was a woman, I probably wouldn't go there.
It's not, I found it to be, you know, this is back in the money days, and I stayed at the Burj Al Arab.
And it was, everything was so perfect, it was boring.
It was boring, and it's nowhere to go, and, you know, women are not welcome.
Right.
The whole place is just icky.
It's cool that they pick you up in a Rolls Royce at the airport.
That was cool.
Yeah, no, it's a lot of money.
I mean, the holiday in Dubai is gold-plated.
I mean, I'd say the Holiday Inn.
I didn't say the Holiday Inn, but I went and visited it for a meeting.
And the Holiday Inn, I was like, this is a Holiday Inn.
Everything was gold.
What do you think about the Rubicon music?
Is that working for us?
No, I don't like it.
I don't either.
At least we tried.
Yeah, it's a little too...
We're not doing a Rubicon-like show.
We're kind of light.
But we have to mock the main news guys who are putting music behind their chit-chat.
Yeah.
I was trying, but it wasn't funny.
It was just as boring as the main guys.
As Dubai.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Indonesia is interesting because I think that we've also been droning in Indonesia, which no one is talking about.
There's a lot of stuff.
You know that Pakistan had an election.
Were you aware of this?
I'm sure you were too busy thinking about Angelina Jolie.
So Pakistan had an election.
The president comes out with a statement.
I congratulate the people of Pakistan on the successful completion of yesterday's parliamentary elections.
The United States stands with all Pakistanis in welcoming this historic, peaceful, transparent transfer of civilian power, which is a significant milestone in Pakistan's democratic process.
By conducting competitive campaigns, freely exercising your democratic rights and perspective, persevering during imitimidum, violent extremists, you have a firm commitment.
We have people who live in Pakistan, who from time to time, you know, our producer would try to get a shot of the compound before they tore it down, of the Bin Laden compound in Abbottabad.
Have we heard from him recently?
Yes, he sends me an email.
I am so depressed right now.
Bear in mind what the president just said.
Great work.
You're transparent.
Everything is great there in Pakistan.
Our producer says, I'm so depressed right now.
It was election day yesterday in Pakistan.
The popular vote should have gone to Imran Khan.
But on election day, there was rampant corruption.
Some examples are armed people walking into polling stations and shooting into the air.
When everyone ran away, they filled in ballot papers and stuffed the box.
In certain polling stations, the doors were locked to stop people from entering the building.
In certain areas, there was a 100% voter turnout.
And all of those magical 100% voter turnout stations went to the government, the incumbents.
There were people stationed at polling stations to guide people in the voting process, meaning they would take their ballot, stamp the right candidate, and put in the ballot for them into the box.
Videos on the Internet showing whole boxes of ballots being thrown out or burned.
Another video showing women voters so mad at the police and army rangers assigned to stop corruption who were not doing anything, they took off their jewelry and presented it to the cops and army to shame them and say, here, you should wear these and stay home.
And he put a link into, which I put in the show notes, because this is kind of the first time that we have video of all this taking place in Pakistan.
And I just wanted to point out that, you know, these sham elections, and our president's like, hey, good work, great, transparent, everything's fantastic.
United States and Pakistan have a long history of working together on mutual interests, like killing people with drones.
And my administration looks forward to continuing our cooperation with the Pakistani government, as I could not be further from the truth.
It was not a transparent election, it was a scam.
Oh, that's being reported on all the news shows.
Oh, wait a minute.
No, it's not.
And my favorite, I don't know if you caught this, in all of these emails that are now being released by the most transparent government in the history of mankind.
Apparently, the emails now show that not a single U.S. sailor witnessed bin Laden's secret burial at sea.
There are no photos.
No one can find them.
And I thought people in Congress had seen them.
But now it turns out that the Pentagon can't even find pictures.
Or any of the DNA testing materials.
How nuts is that?
The guy's shaved his beard.
He's got a new haircut.
He's working in one of the offices there in D.C. But it's in the emails.
No one cares.
No one cares.
All right.
The narrative works.
On the public.
It does.
And following up on our Gadsden flag, the don't tread on me...
This is being removed from the New York military armory.
The flags?
Yeah.
It's an important historic flag.
No, no.
It's racist now.
What?
Yeah.
It's racist.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's racist.
A group of New York veterans of the city of New Rochelle, New York, has removed the Gadsden Don't Tread on Me flag from the New Rochelle Armory after the city council refused to let a veterans organization display the flag.
The United Veterans Memorial and Patriotic Association...
Oh!
Call yourself a patriot.
Can't be doing that.
Big mistake.
It's fighting the decision.
Let's see.
They're removing it.
Yeah, it's...
You can't do it.
It's racist.
It's like the Union Jack.
It's racist.
You're racist.
Because, you know, it's like racist towards, I don't know, snakes?
Non-rattlesnakes?
Snakes, snakes.
I don't know.
It's snakes.
It's really quite sad where we are.
Disturbing.
All right.
Well, the only thing you have to remember...
You know.
What?
Dvorak.org slash N-A? Love.
It's the most powerful thing on the planet.
That's all you've got to remember, people.
Dvorak.org slash NA is what you're supposed to remember.
That's right.
Spread the love.
Give us some love.
And please do that for Sunday's show.
Dvorak.org slash NA. It is critical to the continuation of our program.
If you feel you've got any kind of value, consider what you spend your money on, and maybe you can change what you do.
Starbucks, two coffees...
Movies.
Maybe your cable bill.
Shoot, I don't know.
I don't know, maybe you subscribe to something stupid.
Anyway.
Anyway...
Enjoying my pre-deadness here in Austin, Texas.
I say to all of you, adios, mofos, and in the morning.
And I, from Northern Silicon Valley, where everyone is just pleased as a punch because things are going so well.
I'm John C. Dvorak.
We will talk to you again on Sunday.
Please support us, dvorak.org slash na.
Until then, in the morning, everybody.
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