Time for your Gitmo Nation media assassination episode 4, 9, or 5.
This is no agenda.
Bringing happiness to the rainbows of your world.
From the Travis Heights hideout where SoCo meets MoFo in the capital of the Drone Star State in the morning, everybody.
I'm Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley, I'm John C. Dvorak.
All righty.
So that line I used?
Which was?
Yeah.
Bringing happiness to the rainbows of your world?
Is that what the Pope said?
No, I literally stole that from NPR this morning.
I swear to God.
What was it again?
Bringing happiness to the rainbows of your world?
Yeah, so this morning, Ms.
Mickey and I, first we tried the news, like CNN. It was horrible, unlistenable, just like total crap.
And, you know, like, here's our happy news.
This parachutist didn't die when his chute didn't open.
Like, that's great news.
And so we turn on NPR, which is great here in Texas because it's on KUTFM. And in the Netherlands, KUTFM is just very funny.
Because essentially that would be the equivalent of C-U-N-T-F-M. Oh, my God.
So it's always funny.
Brought to you by...
Yeah, there's a lot of jokes there.
Yeah, there's a lot of jokes.
And they had this promo, and I tried to find it because I really wanted to play it for you.
I guess it's a local KUT promo.
And it's like, some people...
In today's crazy, busy world, some people take yoga classes.
Some people have acupuncture.
At NPR, we bring happiness to the rainbows of your world.
I'm stealing that.
That's fantastic.
What does that even mean?
I don't know.
But I'm like, this is great.
Yeah, that's our national treasure.
Oh, man.
Yeah, our national treasure.
Indeed.
Indeed, indeed, indeed.
Hey, so we have kind of a dilemma.
We do?
Yeah, I think.
Okay.
So I met one of our producers in town, Matt Milligan and his wife, Sarah, and their daughter.
And the little girl, who's three, apparently is a massive fan of the show.
She's a, uh-huh, okay, right.
So she's like, she was singing the mac and cheese song.
I have a clip of her.
I don't have to get it for the next show because it was a noisy restaurant, unfortunately.
And she's singing the mac and cheese song, and she's babbling about one thing or another, and she says, where's Adam?
It turns out she's the one who wanted to meet me.
So...
It wasn't the parents?
Well, no, the parents did too, but she was a big fan.
She's like the real fanboy.
Oh, no.
A girl, as it were.
Oh, hold on a second.
And so I'm thinking about this, and I'm thinking, jeez, you know, and...
We tried to discuss why all of a sudden there's a bunch of little kids, and there was a, listening to the show we had, there was a, right on the same day there was a tweet from some woman who said that her five-year-old, I believe it was her five-year-old, was visiting with the, who was another big fan of the show, five years old.
Yeah.
And as grandma left, the little girl said, adios mofo.
So what's the dilemma?
Where's the problem?
We're cussing a lot on this show, and I think we have to at least be a little circumspect, although we've kind of weighed back.
I'm not seeing a problem at all.
I wonder what the deal is, so we discuss it, and it sounds as if all the lively jingles and all the stuff, the noises...
Oh, it attracts kids.
Yeah, it's like we're like little shiny things.
Yeah.
We get out of it and they listen to it and this three-year-old, apparently, when every time they turn on the radio in the car, she says, is that John and Adam?
Wow.
So, I mean, it's like, this is an interesting phenomenon, it seems to me, that we would have this brainwashable you thought.
Well, I'm seeing, well, first of all, that's fantastic, but I'm also seeing another potential product here.
I'm thinking No Agenda Mobiles.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Right?
Our heads.
Yeah, so when your kid's in the crib, from birth, by the way, you have the thing that spins around and the kid looks at it and it plays a little too...
That makes sounds.
You could have just the jingles being played.
Exactly.
It'd just be like...
In the morning...
Consult the book of knowledge.
Shut up, slave.
That'd be awesome.
And the kid would just be like...
Yeah.
So, this is weird.
Now my keyboard won't work.
You've been having nothing but trouble with that machine since you booted it this morning.
That's...
Well, the thing is, yeah.
I don't know.
I mean, first it was the mouse.
Now the mouse works, but...
And I can do the show pretty...
Well, no, I can't.
I mean, I can't even consult the book of knowledge.
And now it won't connect?
Ugh.
Did you say something bad about the new Pope?
Okay, well, since you brought it up, would you do me a favor, John, and would you please open up the Red Book?
Oh, it reminds me, it's over at the desk.
Hang on one second.
We'll wait for you.
This is very crazy.
Why isn't...
No, it's a Bluetooth keyboard, if anyone has any genius ideas.
For some reason, it just won't connect now.
It's got battery.
I think.
Let's see, connect.
Maybe your batteries are low.
It's not indicating that.
Well, hold on.
I got batteries right here, so I can do that.
Hold on.
Ah, yes.
Do you have the red book?
Yes, I do.
Can you tell me, what did we predict for the Pope?
Well, we predicted it'd be a...
Well, you made most of the predictions.
I think I contributed a little more than agreeing.
Let me take you back in time, John.
Do you have the clip?
Of course I have the clip.
All right.
See, now normally I'd be able to find my back in time harp because I'd just type H and it would take me there.
Oh, you've got these things coded by the letter.
Yeah, but now I can't...
Keep away a secret.
Now I can't do it because the whole thing doesn't work.
I'm going to be troubleshooting the Mac while we do the show today.
But let me take you back in time to episode 491 on this very No Agenda podcast, often known as...
The best podcast in the universe!
But what's really interesting is who's going to come next.
And this is where I think there is kind of a New World Order agenda at play.
And this may sound a little crazy.
Surprise.
Now, if you look at what President Obama has brought to the United States, which is not just him.
It's been a process.
And by the way, John, the thing that I found most frightening is not only the correctness of the prediction, but the reasoning and how I got to this prediction is very scary.
Several presidents, Republican and Democrat.
We are very much moving towards a Marxist slash socialist system where it has to be fair.
Everyone does their fair share.
You know, the American dream is, you know, you get to retire.
Would you say that that's a fair assessment of what has happened over the past 40 years, John?
Just getting by.
Right, just getting by, but we all share, and we pitch in, and the richest people have to pay their fair share and a little bit more.
So it is kind of a Marxist, socialist-type system that we're moving into, much more like the United States of Europe, which is very much there already.
But there is a...
Because it's referred to as the modern welfare state.
I love how you and I play off each other.
We should consider a show one of these days.
I hope so.
Right, but you would agree that that is Marxist at its core.
Maybe not.
Maybe you disagree.
Well, I would say by current definitions, yes.
I think we need to keep our eye on the Jesuit cardinals.
Now, the Jesuit cardinals, the Jesuits in general, from what I understand, I'm not...
You know, this is where we need...
What's his name?
Padre S.J., whatever, from Twit.
That's the guy I've got to ask about this.
We have a lot of Catholic priests that are...
Jesuits, specifically...
More or less give us the background on this, and I suspect that between now and next Thursday, they will have a couple of notes.
Specifically Jesuits are, if you look at South America, they are very much, they come from a Marxist background.
And I believe the next pope, and it could even be, I looked up a couple, here's one that's being talked about, Jorge Mario Bergoglio.
Okay, John.
I'm sorry.
Did I accurately predict the Pope?
I forgot that you actually named the guy.
I actually named the guy as the only candidate.
Yeah, well, I think it's because the other ones that were up for grabs in South America were not Jesuits, and you had this Jesuit thing on the mind.
You were tapped in to the collective unconscious, my friend.
Tapped in.
Yes, and it freaked me out.
Well, it should have, and what really is annoying, I think, more than that, and I consider it annoying, is they were taking bets in Vegas on this thing.
I know.
I should have put like five.
No one would have guessed this guy.
I didn't hear his name bandied about.
Gregory.
I'm sorry?
He did come in second last time.
Oh, really?
Oh, I didn't know that.
So forget about the bets.
We have a lot of Pope trivia if you want to get into something.
No, not really.
Talking about, well, the fact that he has one lung is kind of interesting.
Oh, really?
Yes.
So...
He also...
He's essentially the Jerry Brown of Popes.
When he was a cardinal, he wouldn't live in the fancy house that they have.
Yeah, yeah.
No, he lives in the apartment.
And he took the bus.
Yeah, but he's also, you know, we have pictures of him hanging out with, you know, the fascists there in Argentina.
Well, play the French perspective clip.
I love it the way the French always have a dim view of everything.
Yeah.
It's funny because you'd expect to be participating in the program, but...
It's not a French pope.
Don't forget that there used to be two popes and one used to be in France.
And there was this big schism.
That's before the schism.
Square in the Vatican, where, of course, Pope Francis was elected.
Like all of the Catholic Church in Argentina, Cardinal Bergoglio has been called into question over his role during the years of the military junta.
From 1976 to 1983, Argentina was a military dictatorship.
Between 15,000 and 30,000 people disappeared.
The Church has been highly criticized for being complicit with that military junta.
It was against this background that Cardinal Bergoglio, now the Pope, made his name.
Some have questioned his role during this period.
Questions that will no doubt resurface now that he's Pope Francis.
Yeah, so you've seen the picture of him and Jorge Videla?
No, I didn't.
He's walking next to me.
Jorge Fidel, of course, is head of the Argentinian fascist junta, who was responsible for tens, hundreds of thousands of people disappearing.
30,000.
Oh, okay.
I'm sorry.
Since we're counting, 30,000.
And they're just walking together, happy, smiling, having a good time.
Hey, you killing anybody today?
It's exactly what we could have expected.
Well, the funny thing is, it's possible that as a fascist, as opposed to a socialist, which is your basic theory.
That was my Jesuit theory, yes.
Yeah, but it's fascism, socialism, advertising.
Thank you.
What's the difference, really?
He might be able to go in there and clean house.
Well, he's also the...
Maybe there'll be some priests disappeared.
Oh, yeah.
Well, so he's going to be the Pope of the poor, I guess, is his mantra.
Yeah.
I'm like, yeah, well, that makes sense.
Looks like we're well on our way.
He'll be everybody's pope.
I think that pope of the poor thing and his naming and everything else was...
Actually, there's a clip here, another one from France 24, which was...
Down the drain?
No, France...
No, no, no, that's another topping.
Okay, what do you have?
I don't know.
I printed this out and it came out in two-point type and I can barely...
You print out your clips?
I print out the list of clips.
Oh, okay.
So then I can check them off the list as we go through this.
By the way, I fixed the keyboard on the fly.
Oh.
Well, you've done that a number of times.
Yes.
Francis won.
Try that one.
Okay, we'll give it a shot.
Reforms and so on.
Now, he's apparently going to take the name of Francis.
How important is the choice of name for the Pope?
Hugely important.
As I said earlier, the selection of the name often suggests the program, as it were, of the Pope.
And the person I immediately think of, of course, as I'm sure the entire world thinks of when they hear this, is Francis of Assisi.
Il Forvero.
The little poor man.
That is really, I think, the great inspiration, one of the great inspirations of Bergoglio's own life.
I think, I say this only, of course, half-jokingly, but I think some of the cardinals will be afraid that he will wander through the Vatican Museum and start selling off the treasures.
He's a person who is quite radical in his sense of the way the gospel is a gospel, a message to the poor and the downtrodden in the first place.
And I think that that...
That's that.
You know, I do what most people do, and I just look at the guy and go, douchebag.
It's just easy.
You look at him, he's like, hmm, not trusting him.
Don't you get like a weird gut feeling when you just look at the guy?
Nah.
Nah, I did.
There was something else weird that...
So, of course, when the...
Who was the artist formerly known as the Pope?
What was his name?
The Benedict?
Prince?
Yes.
So when Prince Benedict abdicated...
Step down, quit.
Lightning struck the Vatican.
And when Pope Francis was inducted to the Pope Hall of Fame, a seagull sat atop the chimney.
The seagull is always a symbol of a coming storm in maritime lore.
Yeah, well, that's because usually, for example, around here, since I'm kind of close to the water, if I see a lot of seagulls in the neighborhood rather than the normal crows that are all over the place, which are, by the way, don't trust a crow.
It's certainly not if you're selling Bitcoin.
Anyway, so the crows are usually all over the place and sometimes they're raven or two.
And then all of a sudden there's seagulls.
If they're around and there's something coming in and the seagulls are moving inland.
When seagulls of all the birds are moving inland, something is amiss.
Something is up.
Yeah, it could be.
And it was supposedly, according to reports there, is that it was raining all day.
And then when they finally, when the smoke turned white, the rain stopped and it was clear as a bell.
And the Pope came out.
So there's something going on.
But that whole process is just, you know, I don't know.
It dumbfounds me in a way.
Where, you know, so CNN will be live at Tahrir Square where they've got, you know, the Arab Spring and revolts and we have, you know, rocket ships launching and we have live embedded and, you know, just all kinds of technological things going on in the world.
And then we all sit around and wait for a color smoke.
Yeah, you'd think they would have some sort of an LED display by now.
Yeah.
I mean, come on.
Yeah, exactly.
But, you know, talking about embedded and all the rest, what are all these news anchors?
I mean, why is Brian Williams actually going there for?
I mean, what's the point?
These guys wonder why they're not making any money, and I don't think it's a bad thing to send your reporters here and there, but he's not doing any reporting.
He's an anchorman.
Yeah.
Well, first of all, it removes the necessity to investigate or report on any real news.
But also, I think they're doing it to entertain us.
As witnessed this clip...
Now, of course, we all are familiar with the now infamous Brolf clip.
I will play it for you just to refresh your memory.
Dr.
Fauci, thanks so much, as always, for joining us.
Good to be here, Brolf.
Why is that clip so funny?
So we had a cardinal top the Brolf.
I think he went one further.
Okay, I'll ask Wolf.
Did you get it, Father?
I got it.
That's a very good question, Wolf.
Wolf.
That's a very good question, Wolf.
I think that's a close second to Wolf.
Wolf.
Definitely a close second to Wolf.
That's one idiot I'd like to...
Okay.
Wilf.
Wilf.
How do you get to there?
I was watching the coverage, and then I'm like, wow, he actually said Wilf.
And the cool thing was, they had the three chairs on location, so the cardinal, the guy on location, and another guest.
And when the cardinal says Wilf, that guy cracks up.
But of course, it's a one-camera shot.
So we're seeing him crack up.
Idiot.
Wilf.
Wilf.
You'll be talking to Wilf Blitzer, and he's going to be on the IFB, so just three, two, one, and they said we're talking to who?
Wilf?
Hi, Wilf.
Wilf?
Who's that?
I mean, generally speaking, when you're undoing one of those remotes, you've got the thing in your ear.
They tell you at the last second who you're talking to.
Exactly.
And it's like, you know, you can't say what, what?
His name's what?
Wilf.
But no, the thing is, I heard him.
I heard what he said.
Well, that's a good question, Wilf.
The guy actually is like, you don't have to translate.
I heard what Wilf said.
Anyway, in the morning to you, John C. Dvorak.
Yeah, in the morning to you, Adam Curry.
In the morning, all ships and sea boots on the ground, feet in the water, subs in the air, and all the knights and dames out there.
Hell yeah.
And also to our artists, thank you very much, Nick the Rat, back with a vengeance.
For artwork on episode 494, noagendaartgenerator.com is where you can find all of the art.
Also in the morning to the human resources in our chat room, noagendachat.net, noagendastream.com, which, I apologize, expired, I guess, two days ago.
You know, not a lot is registered to me.
But noagentastream.com was registered to me.
And you know how you have a couple domains?
Especially GoDaddy.
It's a constant barrage of expiring soon!
You go look, it's like, in 2015.
It's like, ugh.
At a certain point, I'm like, yeah, I'll check on that.
I'll save that email.
I'll check on it later.
It may be important.
You never know anymore because they're always trying to sell you some crap.
You go, oh, upgrade now.
I don't like to do automatic renewals because some stuff you just want to have expire.
In fact, most stuff you want to have expire after a while.
But anyway, so that I renewed it, and it looks like most people are able to get into it, so hopefully not too much damage was done there.
The DNS system is mixing itself as we speak.
It is.
It's shaking it out.
And we really do want to thank our executive producers and associate executive producers for episode 495.
And, of course, those credits always listed in the show notes.
It is in the following convention, 495.com.
That's nashownotes.com.
And a list of good people today.
Some familiar names, familiar faces coming in.
But let's run down the list and see what they have to say.
Greg Filer Sir Greg in Lauderdale, Minnesota Nuts, who's become an Insta Knight.
But wait a minute, he's already a Knight.
He's already a Knight, yeah.
We'll figure out what he's going to do with that.
He says, keeping it short, I need to call out...
This is worth a thousand to him.
I need to call out Matt Durance as a douchebag.
Douchebag!
He knows why.
Wow.
And he wants to send the two of us a shot of karma.
I would like to be known as...
As what?
As Sir Greg Filer of the Tribes.
So was he already a knight?
Yeah.
As far as I know.
Hmm.
Well, I think...
We could ask J.C. if he's...
Well, if he wants to be known as Sir Greg Filer of the tribes, that would kind of indicate that he wasn't a knight, but I thought he was.
Why don't we knight him?
We'll knight him again.
We'll take the karma, too.
You've got karma.
We'll take the karma.
Hey, can I just say something before you continue there?
Yes.
So, from time to time, we get karma like this from some Sir Greg Filer, and I can't remember who it was, but someone gave Miss Mickey karma.
You know what happened to her?
She broke her toe?
No.
Now, she hasn't acted or actively participated.
But she got a job as an actress?
Yes.
What, in Austin?
Let me tell you what happened.
So she got a call Friday, which was after the show on Thursday, where I think she got some, or yeah, Thursday a week ago, where she got some karma.
And she heard what the audition was for, and she could do the audition in Austin.
She was like, how can I not audition for that?
And she got booked for the job.
She'll be a co-star on Dallas.
She's going to play an evil woman?
Yes.
Yes?
Yeah, of course.
She's got the Dutch accent.
She's totally evil.
Yeah, that would be the, you know, you got one of these, her accent is perfect to play an evil Dutch woman.
I don't think she's playing a Dutch woman, John.
I don't think so.
No, I don't think so.
So she's going to get a recurring role?
Well, they're very secretive about these things.
Of course, you don't get the actual script because, you know, it's episodic soap.
Oh yeah, they don't want anyone knowing it.
Yeah, yeah.
So we have to drive up to Dallas.
Oh, I really care.
Yeah, so we've got to drive up to Dallas.
And we don't even know what the taping date is.
They shoot it in Dallas?
Yeah, they actually shoot it in Dallas.
They shoot the show Dallas in Dallas?
Mm-hmm.
Ah, I didn't know that.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you know, there's very little.
If you go to Hollywood, you're kind of stupid.
Yeah, I know.
Because there's no jobs there.
Most people, you want to get a job as an actor?
Go to Austin.
Go to Vancouver.
Vancouver, New Orleans, or Austin, apparently.
Oh, they shoot a lot in New Orleans now?
Yeah.
Louisiana is huge because they have this massive tax break.
Massive.
Like 25%.
They're just giving the money away.
Yeah, well, if you want to go get shiggers, that's the place to go.
But I'm just like, wow, this is cool.
Well, yeah, here's what you say, John.
You say, oh, that's great.
Congratulations, Mickey.
Congratulations, Mickey.
Very good.
But you can also thank the karma from whoever gave it to you.
Or talent.
You could say it was talent.
Yeah, well, she's always had the talent.
She never got the jobs.
Right, exactly.
Take a lot of photos.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hell yeah.
Hey, but you know what?
The good news is...
Are you going to be one of those nuisances on the set?
Totally.
Hold on a second!
Cut!
Cut!
Honey, you sure you're feeling right for this scene?
Everything okay?
You feeling it?
You want me to read the lines with you again?
What are those a-holes?
Hey, but the good news is I'm banging an actress once again.
That's kind of cool.
Onward!
That's the...
It reminds me of a joke, but I'll just do it for now.
Kirk Ann in Genesio in New York, 500.
She's a member of the 500 Club and a double producer in memory of mom whose 69th birthday would be today if it wasn't for heart cancer.
Hmm.
It's terrible.
I never even heard of heart cancer.
Have you?
No.
Heart disease, yeah, but not heart cancer, no.
Benevolent outcome possible.
Say that again.
I stepped on you.
As she would say, may you receive the most benevolent outcome possible.
Happy 500th.
I guess it's good.
Well, that's nice.
I always think of my mom on her birthday.
I guess that never passes.
You always think about her.
Joan Dottifray, Dame Joan to you in Morgantown, West Virginia, your old stomping grounds, 31313.
ITM, Johan and Anders, calling out all the freeloaders and douchebags and losers.
Babe.
Oh, she's calling out all the freeloaders as douchebags.
Oh, okay.
Douchebags!
Pay up, people.
Love you guys and really appreciate all the hard work you do.
XXOO Dame Joanie.
Thank you, Dame Joanie.
Baron Pelsmuckers.
Hey, now.
In Belgium and France.
Yes, he owns it all.
313.13 ITM, Johan and Aloysius.
I'm not getting that one.
I'm not pronouncing it right, I'm sure.
As of today, 313.13 US style, that was a good time for any to support your value for value.
Only problem, you're invaluable.
as opposed to Bitcoin.
Please keep on making the best podcast in the universe for another 10 years or my commute will become terrible again soon enough.
Give yourselves again some karma.
Thank you very much.
Baron von Pelsmacher.
You've got karma.
Joseph Monti of Pittsfield, Massachusetts.
31313.
Greetings, Adam and John.
Greetings.
Let's save the hammer for the man.
Keep up the great work.
And these are the 31313 special donations for episode 500, which falls on 31313, 31313.
So it was cool that people were also doing this donation on the 13th, U.S. style, European style.
It's all whatever.
It's all good.
It's all good.
But these are special double producer credits.
Yeah, they get credited again on the 500 show.
Which will be a nice list.
Layla Hansel and Satellite...
Satellite B. What's this thing say?
Satellite Beach.
Coming to you from Satellite Beach, Florida.
Hey, it's the Broth and Wilf Show from Satellite Beach, Florida.
ITM read this or not.
Kan me niet schelen.
Kan me niet schelen.
Schelen.
Schelen.
Which means I don't care.
Woke up and got on the computer.
It was 8.33 on 3.13.13.
I thought, screw!
Right.
Universe karma.
So here we are, Adam.
Sorry about last Thursday's show.
However you know, you have to keep going, doing the best podcast in the universe for karma.
Best wishes to us both.
And a round of karma for her family, his family, her family.
It's her family.
It's a Layla.
Karma does work.
Kids are all homeschooled now.
Oh, right on.
LGY. And her nickname is Lulu on the Beach?
I guess so.
Send pictures.
You've got karma.
Did I forward you the other producer who sent a picture?
Did I forward you the picture the producer who sent a shot of his wife?
No.
Yay!
Let me just say.
Is that what you said after you saw the picture?
Exactly.
But the cool thing is, it's posed.
It's for us.
This is not just like he snapped a shot and sent it to Adam.
It's not the high school reunion.
No, no.
This is like, yeah, I'm doing this for Adam and John.
Brandon Savoy in Port Orchard, Washington.
31313.
Hi, John and Abby.
You don't have to read this on the show.
Everyone's saying that now.
It's great.
Grieve with your analysis from 493 about show length and he agrees with everything we do.
He needs some karma, job karma for his girlfriend.
Yeah, watch out.
Be careful because this stuff apparently works.
You've got karma.
Yeah, you get like a job.
Currently, the job karma will get you a job in Dallas.
By the way, your choice of words, will it be shot in Dallas, apparently is in poor taste.
Very funny.
You're reading the chat right now.
I am, I am, I gotta admit.
That's the best material they can come up with.
Jonas Astrum is Sir Astrum in some place or other.
I don't know.
It's a bunch of symbols on my screen.
Apparently in Sweden.
In the morning, John Galt and Atlas hand out a douchebag to every boner out there.
Oh, well, here you go.
Douchebag!
This is a donation from the damn Soviet Social Republic of Sweden.
If I can afford to donate, so can you.
He needs an LGY. We're happy to give him an LGY. Hold on a second.
Yay!
Sir CQ. Oh, no, GQ. Well, it says CQ on the thing, but it does say GQ. Please use my title, Sir GQ. Don't mention my real name or location.
I'm on the run.
You need some karma for sexy Mr.
Curry, yo.
Hey!
Hey, now!
You've got karma.
Yeah, you know, well, now I know for sure, Sir GQ. Now you know for sure.
I met him.
He was in Austin.
Did he wink?
In a way.
Good.
Jezza jumped in Melbourne, Australia.
Please credit me as Jezza jumped from Melbourne.
Don't use my real name.
I know I need a de-douching, but I don't want a de-douching.
However, I find John's occasional use of profanity very persuasive in a creepy NLP-you-will-obey manner.
Wow.
Therefore...
Can I get a short, sharp pay-up prick from John?
The liberal use of this phrase, when donations run low, should I hope to be the necessary mind trick to open up the slave wallets and remind people of the value-for-value model.
No karma or slide whistle up the arse.
Necessary.
Thanks.
Well, I think it's very clear what he wants you to say.
Yeah, pay-up prick.
I don't know.
Wow.
Wow.
$269.
That's kind of crazy.
Associate Executive Producer.
Yes, of course, and also Mark Stickney in Corona, California.
And he just says he just needs some karma and loves the show.
You've got karma.
So those are our notes from their executive and associate executive producers for show 495, right?
Or 496?
49 or 5.
49 or 5.
No, JC is wrong.
He's been off by one.
Yes.
Every, yeah.
Since last week.
Yeah, he probably looked at the old spreadsheet and said this was, add one.
He's phoning it in.
I have a couple things.
First of all, now we're not talking about...
By the way, before you go on, I want to mention that you can go to Dvorak.org to help produce this show.
And ChannelDvorak.com slash NA if you can't find Dvorak.org.
And also, you know, I should put a link, I suppose, on the blog that links to the donation page.
Oh, now there's a concept.
Yeah, you know, these things.
Here, hold on.
Here, do your NLP and I'll do mine.
Damn, prick.
So, I don't think Eric the Shields thing is ready to talk about yet.
No, he wants to wait.
Like a database problem.
Okay.
I do want to mention, after today's live show on the stream, there's the No Agenda Producers update.
They've got a...
You can win a DBX compressor limiter.
And you can find the details at itm.im slash dbx.
You can win what?
You can...
What?
A compressor?
Yeah, they're giving away a dbx compressor limiter.
Who is?
I think it's SirGene.
But, you know, they have the producer update, you know, as we did oil and everybody.
They're giving away stuff?
Yeah.
What's a DBX model look like?
I have one.
Actually, honey, you're soaking in it right now.
We use a DBX. The 266XL, that's part of the chain that we're running through.
And I also would like to thank...
It's only 89 bucks.
What kind of asshole are you, really?
One for $229.
Maybe it's the $229 model.
I think there's a scam on the internet.
Okay, really?
Can I just finish this up and you can get into the scam?
I've got to finish with one more PR mention here, okay?
I want to hear the scam.
I'd like to thank Hans-Peter Fjeld from Gitmo Nation Brown Cheese who sent me an actual block of Gitmo Nation Brown Cheese.
John, have you ever had this product?
I think so, yeah.
And when you unwrap it, I tweeted a picture.
It looks like a cross between a big hunk of clay and a big hunk of caramel.
Yeah, I've had that cheese.
And apparently it's very flammable.
I don't know that.
Yeah, you do because on your blog there's a posting about how someone had a whole bunch of this cheese in their house and their house burned down because it's so fat, the cheese, that it just burns like crazy.
So you can put a wick in it.
Yeah, you can use it as a candle.
Boy, that would stink up the place.
However, John, this is an outstanding product.
It's really, really good.
There must be so much sugar and stuff in there.
It tastes really good.
I've had that cheese.
It's good, right?
Yeah, I know.
It's a very delicious product.
But Mickey couldn't handle it.
It kind of sticks to your...
You can't really...
A little bit.
You'll get sick as a dog.
But I can see where a whole nation...
Because I know the Dutch have some crazy crap they eat, too.
I can see where a whole nation just grows up on that.
It's like Nutella.
It's a Nutella of cheese, essentially.
Well, it's like Marmite or like Vegemite.
Yeah, thank you, exactly.
You have to be raised.
You have to be raised.
Because Mickey, I'm like, oh, this is really good.
And she just looks at it and she's already sick to her stomach.
It's like, I can't.
Another one that's like, there's another, we're talking about these kinds of foods.
The Danish, they eat matches, this kind of oily.
Matches?
Matches?
It's like M-A-T-J-E-S, something like that.
It's a type of herring, and they eat a lot of herring.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
But the one they like the most is not the ones...
I like pickled herring, American style.
Oh, pickled herring.
From Nova Scotia, or one of these good herring with this pickled.
Right.
It's kind of sour.
Right.
But there's this oily stuff.
That they eat in Denmark.
I'm just advising Americans who go to Denmark, do not order this.
This is not an outstanding product.
It stinks to high heaven.
It's really greasy.
And it leaves a really sour, not a sour, but just a foul taste in your mouth.
It's not good.
There you go, ladies and gentlemen.
Another handy food tip from the best podcast in the universe.
And we would like you to do one thing, is go out and please propagate our formula.
Our formula is this.
We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
Don't order the oily herring.
Shut up, slave.
Shut up, slave.
And by the way, we will get, or I will in this case, get some nasty notes from a Dane or two that will tell me that.
Well, of course, that you don't know what you're talking about.
You've insulted the Danish culture!
Of course.
Okay, so the DBX26XL. Did you hear that we have a new kid?
What is it?
Fat?
Fact.
Oh, fact.
Fact.
Oh, fact.
And then she pronounces it.
Fact.
Fact.
I like it.
Yeah, that's good.
All right.
Let's get to some real news here, but I'll listen to your DBX scam story, whatever it is.
No, I'm just saying, here it is for $89.99.
Here it is for $229.95.
This makes no sense.
Why would you buy that one?
And here it is for $149.
Here it is for $79.
Hmm.
So did you ever look something up, let's say it's a $95 product, and you do frugal or something, so you get a whole bunch of prices.
There's always one company selling, it's like $95, $79 used, $129, $149, $99, $99, $99.
And then there's one company, usually always one, or maybe sometimes two, but generally one, $2,500.
I have not seen this.
This has not occurred to me.
Now I'll have to document it.
But I think this is some sort of either a money laundering deal or something they sell only to some insider.
Because someone buys it.
Yeah.
They buy the $2,500 version.
Oh, we're budgeting for this device.
It's $2,500.
And then they get a kickback.
Oh, yeah.
Well, as a money laundering scheme, it's like the movie with Hugh Grant where the mob is buying his crappy art.
Remember that?
Exactly.
Hey, we should consider using this ourselves, my friend.
Yeah.
You don't want to just jump into money laundering.
No, you want to ease into it.
You want to do it.
You better do it right.
You don't want to talk about it too much.
No, you don't want to talk about it too much, and you better talk to a lawyer right off the bat.
Yes, before you get into it.
Somebody gave me the rundown once on how...
Florida gangsters, which many of them are retired from the north, set up money laundering schemes with very expensive cars in Florida.
Yeah, the gray market cars?
No, no, these were all legitimate cars, but they were...
They would do something where they would buy the car.
And unfortunately, I didn't write it down.
And when I heard it, I said, oh my God, that is the most genius thing I've ever heard in my life.
And then I forgot about how it worked.
But somehow you bought the car and then you sold it back to them used or something.
And then they refurbed it and then somebody else bought it as a new car.
It was some weird convoluted buying and selling of exotic cars scam.
And if anybody knows how that works, please send me an email.
So, no real clip to mention, but I did figure it out, I think.
The distraction of the week on no agenda, oh.
Now, what would you say, John, was the big distraction of the week that we talked about?
Actually, it was kind of last week.
And we were trying to figure out what was the point.
We had this almost 13-hour filibuster by Senator Rand Paul, of course, heralded as the leader of the liberty movement.
And I was very skeptical about this grandstanding.
Particularly because, you know, very early on he had received his answer to the question, which is irrelevant.
Because, you know, it's like, really, this is what you're picking?
Is the drone thing?
Where were you three years ago?
You know, A. B. There's just so much so wrong for my feeling.
Yeah, and then he kind of, then all like on cue.
Yeah, on cue.
Ah!
Ah!
While that was taking place...
So that's the Senate.
The House of Representatives approved and voted by 267 to 151 a $982 billion continuing resolution to fund the federal government through the rest of fiscal 2013.
Right.
Funny how we didn't hear anything about that.
I heard about it.
If you watch C-SPAN, they've talked about it quite a bit.
Exactly!
But was that on C-SPAN? I mean, yes.
Sorry.
Was it on CNN? Confused.
My glasses fogged up.
I'm just hitting anything I can.
But the slaves don't know about it.
And that, of course, is really what, you know, and by the way, a lot of it is for the funding of the Affordable Care Act, ACA, also known as Obamacare, which the president himself now calls Obamacare.
Yeah, he, which, what an egomaniac.
But so, on one hand, we've got the guy, and he was an anti-Affordable Care Act senator.
He's against it.
But here it is.
It was, oh, let's just fund it.
And it's kind of like everything happened at the same time.
Oh, that vote passes.
Okay, hey, Rand, just a few more hours, man.
Just make it look good.
I'm not buying his sincerity.
I question it highly.
You're telling me that the potential for a politician being insincere is high?
Sorry.
Well, I want people to consider it.
And we become very unpopular often.
Me more than you, I would say.
I'm not quite sure how you get away with it.
Maybe it's just respect for the elderly.
That could be.
Yeah, it's very possible.
Hey, I can't really...
But we'll say things from time to time that get people really, really angry and filled with hate and spew off nasty messages and just create entire YouTube campaigns about how stupid we are and we don't know what they're talking about.
But part of, I think the beauty of no agenda is we have no agenda.
Look, I love Ron Paul.
I also question things that he did, and I've always had my thoughts about Rand Paul.
But here we are.
Sometimes we get stuff right.
I mean, the Pope thing, you know how many emails I got about, you're an idiot.
You're a Jesuit.
And not only do I get that right, I get the guy right.
Yeah.
I collect some of these things.
Oh, really?
If there's a website or something, unfortunately, I'm so disorganized.
If I was well-organized, I'd be rich.
Because every so often, even though we don't do it much, I just want to throw it back in their face.
Oh, yeah.
Right, right, right.
Let me just quote what you said two years ago.
Just pull it out.
Unfortunately, I can't find it.
Right.
I can't do it.
I must seem like a very gentle person because I really never teach you that much.
Well, we have a new drone target I want everyone to take a look at.
And it's interesting to me how so many stories...
Are essentially launched via the UK press.
And I think really the Daily Mail, which I know from personal experience, they're full of crap.
The Daily Mail is very sketchy.
It seems like a direct arm of...
We own Truck Month.
Oh, there you go.
You go to the Daily Mail, you get a pop-up video ad.
So they've got this, U.S. Army veteran joins Al-Qaeda-linked group after months of fighting with rebel forces in Syria.
Have you seen this?
No.
Oh, yeah.
So you've got to take it.
Just Google for, his name is Eric with a C, E-R-I-C, Haroun, H-A-R-O-O-U-N, 30, of Phoenix.
And the article says, has joined an Al-Qaeda-linked group, Jabhat al-Nusrah.
And it's all these Facebook pictures.
So this guy has joined Al-Qaeda and literally it says copyright Facebook, which is interesting to me because Facebook never claims copyright over your stuff.
But in this case, Facebook is claiming copyright or is given the copyright credit in every single picture.
And the guy is posing with rock grenade launchers, AKs.
I'm getting nothing.
Eric Haroun.
H-A-R-R-O-U-N. Oh.
He's from Phoenix.
Eric Haroun.
And you seem like, totally like, he's almost doing the duck face when he's posing for these pictures.
This is an actor, ladies and gentlemen.
This is bull crap.
And I guarantee you, this guy is going to get blown up by a drone.
So we can say, well, this is clearly the kind of guy, you know, that we have to deal with.
You know, we couldn't capture him.
You know, we had no idea where he was, uploading all these pictures, all these selfie pictures to Facebook.
Facebook knows who he is.
You have to have your real name.
And it's just tons and tons of pictures of him.
This is a crock.
Right?
There was.
This is hilarious.
Do you know what I mean?
I got a picture of him here with the Palestine flag.
Yeah.
He's got that headdress.
Yeah, he's got the cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
White head, the cigarette, that one, yeah.
And his arm is shooting a picture of himself.
Wait, wait.
Read the caption.
Haroon revels in his hero status and brags on Facebook and in YouTube videos of his bloody exploits in the Middle East.
This is an actor, ladies and gentlemen.
This is bull crap.
And they have a video.
I think I have audio.
The video is kind of like, yeah, we smoked him.
him.
He's just showing a helicopter in like a, probably in Phoenix.
There he is.
Oh.
I don't know.
I guess this audio is no good.
Yeah.
But there's just a video of it.
We'll hear more about this.
Oh, yeah.
We'll get some good audio.
I just wanted to call him out.
We'll have one of the generals out there.
This is an example.
I think you're right.
This is going to be a drone target.
We've got a drone.
Yeah, because Awalaki, the story's old.
It's got the 16-year-old that they killed hanging off with him.
It's kind of nasty.
But the only thing I couldn't find in the article, which of course is kind of typical because it's a UK article, is the term aid and comfort.
But I'm just waiting for that.
It's bound to show up.
Bound to show up.
So, yeah, okay.
You spotted that.
I should put that in the red book.
That's another one that's a foregone conclusion.
Yeah, I mean, it's just obvious what they're doing here.
It's obvious.
Yep.
Another bill popped up, if you're interested.
Sure.
This is Bill 748...
Let me just double-check who introduced this.
I think it was Rangel.
Well, it relates directly to this quote by our president.
We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we've set.
We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.
And here you go, H.R. 748, to require all persons in the United States.
And we've been tracking this exact, this language with the Peace Ministry of Peace.
What was it?
Ministry, Department of Peace Building.
So on the heels of that legislation here, proposed legislation, to require all persons in the United States between ages of 18 and 25...
That's seven years.
To perform national service, either as a member of the uniformed services or as civilian service in a federal, state, or local government program with a community-based agency or community-based entity, and to authorize the induction of persons in the uniformed services during wartime to meet end-strength requirements of and to authorize the induction of persons in the uniformed services during wartime to meet end-strength requirements of the uniformed services to provide for the registration of women under the So, hey, girls.
Guess what?
Get your armband.
Obligation for service.
It is the obligation of every citizen of the United States and every other person residing in the United States, whether you're a citizen or not, who is between the ages of 18 and 25 to perform a period of national service as prescribed in this title unless exempted under the provisions of this title.
So this is it.
Universal service in the civilian corps to build peace?
Yes, to build peace.
But I guess you only, let me see, two year period of, it says only two years then.
So they're just, it's going to be for two years, but I guess you can choose between 18 and 25.
No, it's going to go like this.
You're in for two years.
You're doing this, you know, scrubbing floors, whatever they're going to have you do.
Yeah.
You know, peeling potatoes.
Probably not even that.
You're also doing bookkeeping.
Can I train?
I can do military service, can't I? Yeah, you can probably do something.
And then they're going to offer you more money if you stay, so you have to re-up for four years.
And you'll be going into an economy that's in a tank, so you won't be able to get a job anyway.
Yeah, so, hey, I got an idea.
Let's hop into the service.
They'll pay me minimum wage, won't they?
I don't know what they pay.
In the olden days, you used to get free room and a board, but a lot of that's gone by the wayside, too.
It's hard to say what they're up to.
Well, no good.
Slavery is what they're up to.
Slavery.
What do you think they're up to, John?
Well, slavery.
Slavery.
It's obvious.
You can either be a slave in jail or out of jail.
It's your choice, whichever one you want.
You can get a little more freedom out of jail, but not that much.
Not much, not much.
But yeah, at least you're not in the cell.
At least you can go out at night.
So I just want to make sure that when you look at the rainbow of your life, if you are getting this type of information, if anyone is tracking this for you, if anyone is looking at this kind of stuff, because we are.
Exactly.
Now, I want to go talk about a little side topic here.
I wrote a column yesterday about this fake viral video that's going around.
Oh, which I have not seen.
It's Jeff Gordon.
Who's Jeff Gordon?
Jeff Gordon's a famous NASCAR driver, and he put a beard on and then went to, supposedly, they have hidden cameras.
He went to a dealership, a Chevy dealership, by coincidence, and sponsors for the Okay, I'm seeing it here.
It's a Pepsi ad.
And then he said he wanted to take a test drive.
He says he only drives a minivan.
He got in this car and then he goes crazy on this track that somehow has been, which is essentially a lot somewhere.
It's been soaking wet for some unknown reason.
And I dissected it saying this is a scam.
And this old viral video is nonsense.
But my point of the column was that...
USA Today thought it was real and they made a big deal out of it.
In fact, play the France 24 down the drain.
Here's another good example of how this played out.
Also, we've got some support for you.
Which football team does the new Pope support?
Dan Levy has the hot news on the Buenos Aires Club.
Pope Francis is most likely to follow if we believe what we see in this photo.
And in Web News, what happens when a NASCAR driver takes a car for a test drive with an unsuspecting salesman?
Yep, you get an internet hit.
So none of the major media question this as bogus.
Now, which I was the point of the call, but then it came out, apparently the Federal Trade Commission brought out this, and everyone has to go make a copy of this.
It's an 85-page document called Dot Com Disclosures.
And people are just starting to analyze, this is perfect for you.
You would love this.
Oh, yeah.
FTC has a lot of rules that you're supposed to follow.
Well, .com Disclosures clearly says that a celebrity cannot mislead.
And that's just the crap they're trying to sell you.
Forget about the stuff that they're lying about when it comes to, I don't know, Haiti donations, the International Criminal Court.
Oh, hey, George Clooney, how you doing?
you Thank you.
So especially on Twitter or blogs, this is with this particular document, which is called.com disclosures.
It's available as a PDF. I printed a copy out.
It's very interesting, actually, and they have a lot of examples of what you can and cannot do.
Well, this is clearly, this fake viral video is clearly a violation of this.
I'm very curious to see what they're going to do about this sort of thing.
In other words, these All these phony videos that are coming out as these staged viral videos that are purported to be, you know, you know, they're purported to be real.
Yeah.
I mean, that's what makes them so interesting to the public at large.
Oh, look what he did.
That was a great practical joke, even though the guy in the car is clearly an actor.
An actor, the camera, it's all set up.
It's all predetermined.
Yeah, it's a, you know, some agency will get an award for it.
Right.
As one does.
Yeah, great.
I'm just saying right off the top here.
It's illegal.
Global violation as is outlined in.com disclosures.
Everyone should get a copy of this and start hounding the FTC when this thing shows up.
No, no.
Forget that.
Start hounding Pepsi.
Yeah, Pepsi.
They should be ashamed of themselves.
They should be ashamed of themselves.
This is a clear-cut violation of the FTC. Yeah.
John, why do I not think that anyone gives a flying crap about it?
They don't.
That's the joke of it.
I'm going to have to go back and work for the government.
I'm going to work for the FTC and start busting these guys.
But the Celebrities are out in full force.
Did you see the most recent viral video, the most recent cyber campaign, the cyber war campaign that everyone's jumped on board for?
Did you see this one?
No.
At this hour, the FBI and the Secret Service, they are launching massive investigations.
Massive!
Alleged personal information like social security numbers, phone numbers, credit card reports, all for people posted on the Internet.
That is what is now being investigated.
The high-profile victims include the First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, the Vice President, Joe Biden, among many others.
Our own Brian Todd has been digging into this story.
He's walking into the Situation Room.
Wait, this is great.
The guy is walking on the set.
And Wolf says, he is walking into the Situation Room.
This is fantastic.
The guy is walking onto a set.
But no, no, no.
Digging into this story, he's walking into the Situation Room.
I'm in the Situation Room.
And what is the question?
Of course.
Pretty shocking story.
Shocking.
When you think about what's going on, Brian, what are you learning?
What are you learning?
Oh, Wilf.
I love it when you say that.
Wilf, a law enforcement official says investigators are taking this seriously enough that they are going after the records of internet service providers.
We cannot confirm that all the financial...
Gee, this is so convenient, isn't it?
...data for these celebrities being posted on this website is accurate, but two credit agencies say their information was accessed without authorization.
All right, roll the tape.
Kim Kardashian's auto loan.
Kim Kardashian has an auto loan?
Are you kidding me?
She has an auto loan?
Bill Obama's student loan and credit report.
Ashton Kutcher's mortgage.
Ashton Kutcher has a mortgage?
Really?
Beyonce's address and phone number.
Beyonce has a phone?
A website with a ghoulish-looking girl on the main page is listing information it claims is the financial data of those celebrities and more.
Alright, so everyone had to get it.
Now, of course, what this is about is there was a huge senatorial hearing, which was beautiful if you watched it on C-SPAN. Oh, I'm sorry.
No, that's what we do so you don't have to.
We have a general now who's in charge of Cyber Command.
Who, I mean, he's got more medals than all these other yahoos.
I mean, what do these medals mean?
Please, like, stop cyber attack in midway.
No, no, I looked up that.
I know who you're talking about.
You looked at it?
Okay, well, let me just get into, this was so coordinated.
The FTC should be suing the president.
And so here's Diane Sawyer.
ABC, of course, is always in on these things early.
By coincidence, George Stephanopoulos, a White House Democratic operative, has an interview with the President.
And, wow, Mr.
President, we have these reports.
I can't believe it is.
The personal information of the First Lady has been stolen.
Now, the President's smart.
He's going to go a long way, but he's not going to really confirm anything, of course.
George Stephanopoulos sat down with President Obama today for an exclusive interview.
The president opening up about a story in the news that has touched him and his family.
I'm ready for like someone who's died, shot, you know, like helicopter down.
Do you have like a thing for Diane Sawyer?
Come on.
I do.
Because she's tall and blonde.
She's sexy and drunk.
Easy, easy prey.
The first lady, along with other familiar names, appear to be the victims of a hack attack.
Hack attack!
Hack attack!
Hi, I'm Brof and this is Wilf.
We're from the band Hack Attack.
How you doing, everybody?
This has been tracking this story all day and first brings us the latest.
This sinister-looking website is posting what hackers claim is the social security number and credit report of the first lady.
It always surprises me that they never are able to track someone whose website, you know, has a domain registered, has a login from an IP address somewhere, you know, like Twitter accounts that are used by Anonymous.
Never ever, and these things just, the website's still up, you know?
Hey, you know, you...
You got an MP3 of Jay-Z or Beyonce on your site.
You're down.
You're arrested.
You're down, man.
You're in cuffs.
You're in cuffs.
The FBI and Secret Service are investigating, and today in an exclusive interview with ABC's George Stephanopoulos, President Obama would not say if the information is authentic, but confirmed authorities are trying to find out what happened.
We should not be surprised that if you've got hackers who want to dig in and devote a lot of resources.
What a dig in.
What is this?
Are they mining for bitcoins?
That they can access people's private information.
It is a big problem.
Right into the White House.
And again, I'm not confirming that that's what happened.
You've got websites out there right now that sell people's credit cards.
Yeah, you know what you have?
You have websites out there by companies that sell your personal information and ruin your life.
They're called Equifax and other companies that have your FICA score, which you, Mr.
President, are promoting to enslave us all to these real companies that have been stolen.
Michelle Obama is not the only potential victim.
Those targeted are a curious mix of the powerful and famous.
Vice President Biden, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
The rich, powerful, and famous.
I love that.
Beyonce!
Beyonce!
I mean, this is...
Listen to the mind control that's going on here.
Kim Kardashian.
Kim Kardashian.
The FBI director and L.A.'s police chief.
They're all celebrities!
Tonight, Equifax, a credit reporting agency, confirmed that unauthorized and fraudulent access occurred involving four high-profile people, but they declined to identify them.
Law enforcement officials are trying to determine how much of the information on the website is authentic and how it might have been obtained.
Okay, so let's just go back to the situation room, the situation set, and let's bring in our Pentagon correspondent, Barbara Starr.
Now, Barbara Starr...
This woman must be so tired of what she does.
She's like, oh, really?
I've got to make up this crap.
I can't make up anymore.
I've got to do seven minutes on this?
Oh, okay.
From the nation's power grid to online banking.
We're all going to die.
The U.S. economy is utterly reliant on the Internet.
Utterly reliant on the Internet.
This story is, if you really listen to what's going on, this is all about the government getting in bed with corporations, corporatism, fascism, there's many words for it, making them share their information with you under now executive order.
They cannot be penalized for doing so.
They only have to be convinced, and this, of course, is one of the ways that you're going to be okay with it when you hear that, I mean, my God, if we...
It's so embarrassing.
Kim Kardashian has a car loan.
My goodness, I'd hate for anyone to know what I'm doing.
The Pentagon is now watching the cyber threat to the economy every minute.
We've seen the attacks on Wall Street.
This is from the hearing.
Over the last six months grow significantly.
Over 140 of those attacks over the last six months.
Yeah, that's really hurt the Dow, hasn't it, John?
It's been horrible for Wall Street.
Nothing but up.
We've broken a new high, 14,000.
In the face of growing cyber attacks, many from China, President Obama recently signed an executive order to improve cybersecurity.
We cannot look back years from now.
And wonder why we did nothing in the face of real threats to our security and our economy.
Total inference to a 9-11 Pearl Harbor event.
A recent investigation even pinpointed this building in China that houses part of a shadowy Chinese military unit responsible for thousands of hacks into American business and government agencies.
Yeah, we'd like to point out that company was paid to do that.
China's massive campaign To steal technology, business practices, intellectual property, and business strategies through cyberspace continues, and it continues relentlessly.
Those bastards better not try and steal our show.
I'm not going to have it.
I'm not going to have it.
Well, that's an open source.
They can take the show for free as long as they leave in the ads.
We have no ads.
We have just a picture.
Let me just finish it up with the final bit.
Well, you don't have to finish it up because I got some clips I want to back.
Well, no, but this is just 30 seconds of fear.
I just wanted to give you the fear thing.
Go.
Now, a recent DOD report noted that even the Pentagon's own cyber systems are so vulnerable to an attack that during a drill and exercise, those playing the role of opponents were very easily able to overwhelm.
Okay.
Wolf, bring it home.
Pentagon cyber defenses.
Wolf?
It's a real serious problem out there, and I know they're working overtime to deal with it.
It's only going to presumably get worse down the road as well.
It's only going to get worse down the road because that's in the script.
Barbara, thank you very much.
Let me move on to something you don't want.
Thank you.
And aside from sounding the alarm on cybersecurity, the director of national intelligence is now warning about nuclear threats from North Korea.
North Korea!
Buy some shit you don't need.
North Korea.
So there is another, a bunch of interesting memes at this particular hearing that you're talking about.
And they're trying to sneak some of the stuff in.
Let's start with listening to, first of all, there's this immunity debate.
And these are the two guys.
The two guys were...
Up in front of Congress, the Levin Committee, were two generals who were part of Stratcom and Cybercom.
And one of them was this new guy, this expert on cyber terrorism.
Who knows nothing.
And by the way, there's a million badges this guy's got on.
What does he have?
What does he have?
Well, if you look at it, it's a distinguished service.
Knot tying?
It's essentially stuff you would get in school for good attendance.
Yeah.
Good attendance.
If you look at these badges, I swear to God, if you start kind of re-figuring out what they really mean, it essentially said good attendance.
So he always showed up.
Showed up.
Showed up for the meeting.
Showed up a lot.
All right.
So I've got a couple of things that are kind of interesting, and I'll probably cut them off.
Play Immunity 1.
This is like a big deal they're talking about.
Senator, I'll give you my answer here, and I'd ask you to just take that for the record to get you a really accurate and detailed answer on it, because I do think this is important to lay this out.
The issues as I see it for liability protection are in two parts.
When the internet service providers and companies are acting as an agent of the government and make a mistake and are subject to lawsuits, the issue becomes they get sued so many times by so many different actors that they spend a lot of money and time and effort responding to those lawsuits when we've asked them to do something to defend the nation.
So there's that one set.
And the other is, let's say, theoretically, that we send a signature that says stop this piece of traffic because it is that wiper virus that hit Saudi Aramco.
But we, the government, mischaracterize it.
And when they stop it, that stops some traffic that they didn't intend to, nor did we.
We make a mistake.
Mistakes are going to happen because when you have real-time concerns, emergency concerns, some traffic may be impacted.
That traffic that is impacted, the internet service providers would quickly fix by altering that signature to get it right.
But some traffic has been delayed or disrupted by their actions.
Okay, now skip to Immunity 2.
Oh, skip two.
I thought you said skip it.
Yeah, skip two.
Okay, here we go.
I'm not talking about giving them broad general immunity, and I don't think anyone is.
It is, when they're dealing with a government in good faith in these areas, we should protect them for what we're asking them to do.
After all, they're wearing the shirt.
I think that's in the venue.
I'll get you a more specific answer from our...
So they're in bed with the ISPs and they're trying to figure out how to do the immunity so it's not too offensive.
What I understand, the ISPs are saying, hey, wait a minute, we shouldn't be the only guys.
It should be Google as well because it's really the applications that are being used.
So Google should be pulled into this.
Exactly.
Yeah, it's fantastic.
Just as an aside, I'm listening to this, and I heard this more than a few times.
Didn't we play a Rand Paul clip where somebody was talking about the Senate and you can't have devices in the Senate?
There's no computers.
You can have computers, I think, in the House, but the Senate, no, you can't have any devices.
Yeah, vaguely.
Vaguely I remember something about that.
Well, I do remember it because when I heard this, if you play do electronic devices in the U.S. Senate, tell me that you don't hear some guy's messaging.
Blackberry?
What it really impacts is as you look at commands like Transcom and others, and our ability to communicate would be significantly reduced.
And it would complicate our governance, if you will, and our ability for the government to act.
On a more scale.
I think what General Kaler has would be intact.
What was I supposed to hear?
You heard a click-click.
It was an instant message.
And then there was a follow-up.
And then I have actually another clip where he started getting that reminder beep.
You didn't hear it in there?
I heard a click-click.
I wasn't sure.
I wasn't sure what it was.
Because as soon as he heard the click-click, he looked down on his phone.
Which you can surf the web on a phone.
I mean, they should take these phones out of the Senate.
Anyway, so this hearing went on and on with all kinds of different kind of crazy things.
At one point, there's this one guy who just seems like the dumbest guy in the world.
He's from Florida.
His name's Bill Nelson.
And he's a soft-spoken, kind of a slow-talking Southern Senator.
And I believe he didn't get the memo or he wasn't in the meetings.
So he started bringing up something that was off-script.
Uh-oh.
And every time I see this sort of thing, I go, oh, brother.
It always reminds me of the ex-prime minister of England that said that those crazy meetings that they have where they're yelling at each other are all scripted.
And we had the clip of that.
It was very interesting.
So here is an example of a guy going off script with a question of these two guys and then interrupted, being kind of told he's going off script.
And then he...
Even though he's given the go-ahead, if he wants to ask any more questions, he completely backs off.
It's a great little drama you're going to hear right here on this clip, which is the...
The weird one.
I got it.
The weird one, yes.
Answer.
That reminds me, you know, in the disintegration of the Soviet Union, it was the United States that took the initiative through Nunn Luger to go in and try to secure those nuclear weapons.
And that turned out to be a very successful program.
And in this new world of cyber threats, we, of course, have to be responsible for ours, but we have to worry about those others on the planet that have a nuclear but we have to worry about those others on the planet that have a nuclear strike capability of protecting theirs against some outside player coming in and suddenly taking
General Alexander, do you have any comment on that?
I wonder if you would yield before his answer.
And that is a very important question.
I wonder, for starters, and I shouldn't interrupt the answer, as to whether, for starters, I didn't mean to interrupt it.
Senator Nelson.
We should ask the intelligence community writ large as to what we know about that.
Okay.
If you want to say that...
No, no.
We will do that.
It's a great idea.
It's an important point.
We will take that on.
We will ask, but let me not interrupt further the answer.
Okay.
I know General Alexander is going to be constrained as what he can say in this setting, so let me just defer that then for a classified setting.
Well, not just classified, but also a broader intelligence community assessment as well, if we could do that, Senator.
Well, General Alexander knows everything about everything.
Is one of the guys' names Major Nelson?
The two guys are...
Did I hear that?
Or did I just imagine that?
I don't know what they were referring to.
It's Keith Alexander.
That's the cybercom guy.
The other guy was Robert Keller, who's the U.S. Strategic Command guy, Stratcom.
And so Nelson is the senator.
Oh, okay.
All right.
So Senator Nelson.
So Nelson's yakking away about this idea that, in other words, there's a scripted thing in play.
Yeah.
Which is going to involve some sort of bullcrap virus that takes over command and control of the Russians.
Like the Russians, of all people, are not going to let that happen.
They're probably better at hacking it than we are.
Yeah.
But that's okay.
It can happen.
So he's asking this question.
It's obviously part of a bigger script that Nelson knows nothing about because he's a rube.
And he's never expected to come up with a good question.
He asks the dumbest stuff.
So he asks this dynamite question, and then, oh my God, he's stepping right in our plan.
Oh, stop, stop, stop.
So where is he from, Nelson?
Florida.
Florida, right.
So they stopped him in his tracks, and you could see the look of realization on his face that, oh, uh-oh, maybe...
And then somebody says, I defer my question.
No, you can ask your question.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm not going to ask the question.
And so it was just like, to me, it was hilarious that there's something afoot.
This is Bill Nelson?
Is that who it is?
Yeah, Bill Nelson.
Let me see what he...
What does he do?
Does he have...
So how did he get on this panel?
He's just in that committee.
It's a committee on cyber...
If you go to BillNelson.Senate.gov, it's creepy.
The guy?
Yeah, go to...
Look at him with the Boy Scout.
Oh.
Just scroll down.
Nelson tries out simulator for training drone pilots.
Really?
Geez.
Nelson goes on python hunt in Everglades.
What are these people doing?
He's kind of got that aged, milfy wife thing.
Do you see him with the...
I'm not on this page.
Bill Nelson...
.senate.gov.
And you scroll down, and there he is, smiling at a Boy Scout.
Looking all creepy.
I would take that picture off.
If I was doing his PR, I'm like, nah, not good, because you never know what could happen.
Some stories might come out while you were looking for your python in the Everglades.
I mean, come on.
How more obvious can you get with your headlines?
I was looking for a python in the Everglades, and I saw a Boy Scout.
Ugh.
Alright.
Eh, I'm looking there.
That's pretty good.
That is pretty good.
Well, it's funny to see these things unfold, because now we know, essentially it's a heads up.
Well, what I like so much, so we have the heads up on that end.
But you see, that stuff, it's kind of like the U.S., you know, the veteran who now has joined Al-Qaeda.
It's like, we're tired of Al-Waqi.
We need a new actor.
We need a new episode, new season.
So, you know, part of this is, if it could happen to the president and the first lady and to Kim Kardashian...
It could happen to me.
So I need my service provider to be on my side sharing my information with the government.
That's what's taking place.
Yeah, no, it's a coup.
And I think we're on the losing end of the stick here.
Well, we might not be.
I've got this clip.
Unfortunately, we might be on the, I think, yeah, losing end of the, unless we take a job in the government, and I found it.
I found what we can do.
And this is another clip from the hearing.
It just like says, here you go, guys.
Quit your show and go do this.
It concerns me, mostly.
General Alexander, let me raise an issue that, as Senator Levin indicated, excuse me, Senator Levin, the Collins-Levin legislation was not successful.
I share his view.
It's very important.
Because right now, we have essentially a voluntary scheme.
And one of the arguments that's raised by the opponents is that it would impose too much cost on The business community, etc.
Your knowledge of the potential state and non-state ability to disrupt the economy of the United States, not our strategic command, but ATM machines, etc.
Do you have a nice list of examples?
ATM machines, etc.
Essentially, they're starting to replay the Y2K scenario.
Yeah, so very nice.
Do you have that script still somewhere?
Donkey-eared edges?
On a calculation of the potential cost of the economy, if someone decided to conduct not an intermittent attack on a banking system, but a concentrated attack.
Hey, what would it cost if someone had an internet attack?
I'm thinking, what are you thinking, John?
I'm thinking trillions, trillions of dollars, man.
What do you think?
Well, you know, because you clipped it.
Senator, an attack on our bank, as you know, would be significant.
Our bank?
Our bank.
We have one bank now.
I heard that, too.
Our bank.
It would have significant impacts.
And if people can't get to their money, the impact of that is huge.
And you've seen that, and we've discussed that.
Where have we seen that?
Where have we discussed that?
That's not true.
What I'm concerned about is a distributed denial of service attack could accomplish that.
A significant distributed denial of service attack could make it very difficult for our people to do online banking.
What, can we not just go to the bank?
Can I just...
Apparently you cannot go to the bank.
I'm going to walk in.
There's a million bank...
There's a Chase Bank in the HEB. I can go to the bank.
Online trading and others.
The cost.
So there's the cost of...
This is going to kill Bitcoin, by the way.
Losing that.
If you think about Amazon, one hour of Amazon costs $7 million in profit to them if they were offline.
Boo-hoo!
There's also a cost that...
Hold on a second.
It's also a bogus concept.
The one hour, they would lose that much if everything was continuous, but if you are going to buy something from Amazon and they're down and they lose that $7 million, you go back and buy it tomorrow.
Yeah.
So they don't really lose anything except somebody who changes their mind.
But also, I think the number one place where DDoS has come from is from Amazon's own AWS infrastructure...
Amazon would just shut it off.
They run all that stuff.
Everyone uses hacked Amazon stuff to do that with.
It complicates legislation in that each of our critical infrastructure portions of our industry have different levels of cyber readiness, if you will.
So the banks and the internet service providers are generally pretty good.
The power company is not so good and the government is somewhere in between.
And so the cost for fixing that is significant.
And I think the issues that I get talking to industry is their concern on creating an over-bureaucratic regulatory process.
So I do think that what the administration has put forward is let's sit down and talk to them on the way to address this is a great step forward.
It really does allow us now to sit down with industry and say, so here's what we think needs to be done.
All right.
Is it getting to the point of where we can make a living?
No, no, no.
I want to hear it.
Do you mind?
Do you mind if I just listen to the guy say it?
Well, I think I can summarize it.
I want to hear it.
In my discussions with the power companies specifically, their comments, look, we'd like to do that, but that's going to cost more.
How do we do that?
But the point, and my final point, is from your perspective right now, if an attack, which is conceivable, took place, the cost to that company would be many, many times the cost of preemptive action today, and yet they still object to To that course.
Now, the probability of TAC has to be weighed, but does that probability today is 1%?
That course, you know, that might be a reasonable judgment.
But I think the impression I get from your testimony, and consistently, is that percentage of probability goes up and up and up in each day, so we've reached the point where, do the math, and if they're not investing in protecting themselves, as financial institutions have, then the cost they're likely to, you know, probably to shoulder will be catastrophic.
They don't seem to get that point, though.
I think that's accurate.
Just as you said, it increases every day.
That's the concern, and I think...
So what do we do?
Do we become...
Consultants.
Cyber consultants.
Here's the deal.
You can see this coming down Broadway.
This is a scripted bullcrap event that we were listening to.
I think now I convince everything on C-SPAN is a hoax.
But so we were listening to this guy.
What they're doing is they're setting it up so these, you know, because these companies, like a power company says...
Yeah, we're not going to do this crap and spend all this money for no good reason.
This is bogus.
And everybody who knows anything knows that this is all, you know, it's not going to bring down the grid.
But the government's going to demand that they prove it.
Let me just give some background to that.
Money is going to be pouring out from the government to hire consultants.
Some background on that is when Y2K took place, I was running a publicly listed company on NASDAQ, and the SEC required all publicly traded companies not only to report, but to actually implement Y2K measures, and it had to be certified.
You had like some bogative certification thing that was out there.
Totally.
So, first of all, we need a snappy name.
Because Y2K, I mean, here we are.
It still exists, you know, 14 years later.
What is this?
CYA? That was going to be a good one.
CYA. CYA Consultants.
CYA. CYA Consultancy.
Hello.
Can I help you?
But we need...
They have to have a name for it because, you know, just cyber war, cyber attack...
I think they're working on it.
I think within the next few months...
We'll have a name.
We'll have a...
There'll be a name for this problem.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A contingency something or other.
A hack attack.
And once that's set in stone, then there's going to be just exactly what happened in Y2K. There's going to be the government's going to...
You know, not even the government is freaking out.
It's the smart money that creates this bull crap...
So the consultants can move in and score some easy cash with kind of, you know, canned reports.
You do one elaborate, big, thick, giant document.
Hey, so we need to get some clipboards.
Oh, yeah.
And some hard hats.
Hard hats and white coats.
And if you see us walking around your company...
You know the reason why.
It's like, hmm, what do you think, Professor Dvorak?
Let's see.
Okay.
Chairs at proper height?
Check.
Okay.
Let's see.
Wi-Fi passwords enabled?
Yes.
Check.
Okay.
That's all very good.
Vural.
Looks like you're compliant.
Wow.
For the cyber.
For the grid.
Don't put the grid on the internet, then.
Well, here's the thing that got me.
I watched all these hearings, and it seems to me there's a couple of things going on.
One, there's a parallel internet called Internet 2, which I believe is still playing.
Yeah, that was the educational, super high-speed thing.
Expensive, yes.
There is no reason why you can't do an old-fashioned, you know, just redo TCPIP and develop a parallel internet to the commercial one and get these systems off the public network.
Yeah, there's no reason.
It doesn't have to be on there at all.
Military.
And why would there be weapons systems and the nuclear capability, the command and control center on a public network?
What is that all about?
All I know is when you go into an Air Force base, or any base for that matter, and if you wanted to open up your laptop, the guards would be coming in every which way.
You can't even go online there.
I mean, there is a lot of security when it comes to this stuff.
So this is all bull.
And you know what?
You know what really irks me?
What really makes me mad?
Because, I mean, we see this.
So you're so correct, of course.
Do you know how many celebrities are already consulting with the government?
I mean, like, big names.
Big names.
And, you know, and they're getting paid massive dollar to consult...
For the government.
And it kind of comes all to a head.
You know who Jeff Baxter is?
Skunk is his nickname.
Jeff Skunk Baxter.
Yeah, no, I've actually had him on my old Silicon Spin show.
In fact, wait, I've got to throw a little Jeff.
I also had him on earlier during the Real Computing Radio Show era when Napster was a big deal and Baxter and his...
Baxter and his agent, I guess it was his agent or his publicist.
The only interview that we killed ever on that show was this one.
This guy, his agent or his, I don't know what he was, but he was doing all the talking stuff.
I think Handler would be more appropriate.
Baxter was kind of embarrassed by this whole episode.
But he went on a rampage about stealing music.
Let me just say one thing.
Baxter, for those who don't know, played in Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers.
He's kind of a session guitarist, really.
He's a really good guitarist.
But anyway, he's considered one of the best.
Anyway, so this guy blows up and he just hangs the phone up on us.
And this manager guy.
The handler.
And he was moaning about MP3s and they should arrest everybody and throw them all in jail if they copy a song.
And he went on and on.
He was completely out of touch with the reality of the situation.
And I got kind of a kick out of it anyway.
So he comes on the Silicon Spin show some years later as this expert and you're going to describe it.
Well, worse, he's going to talk about some of his friends who he's recruited as experts.
So he is now a major consultant on missile defense.
Yes, he was a...
Missile defense!
As a hobbyist, apparently, he became an expert on missile defense.
And so here he is speaking at, I think it's a spook gathering, because I received this video.
It's on YouTube, so you can watch the whole thing.
It's about an hour.
It is show notes, 495.nnxshownotes.com.
But listen to who he recruited in, and listen to the ease of how he's hanging out with the elites.
And I lost all respect for the guy.
To see them all.
Now, that's not to say that the intelligence communities haven't stepped up to the brand.
They have some of the communities, some of the agencies have created what they call red cells or red teams to have a different, non-traditional way of looking at things.
But the problem is, if you take a guy who plays honky-tonk piano and you put him in an orchestra and you tell him to play Beethoven's Sixth Symphony, It's going to come out sounding like Albert Ammons Boogie Woogie because he doesn't know how to do it.
It's not that he's a bad person.
It's not that he's a bad musician.
You have just taken him to a place where he has no expertise.
So what you've got to do is you've got to go out and you've got to find folks.
Well, I'm looking for folks.
So I talk to my buddy Dan Aykroyd.
I play in a band called the Blues Brothers a lot.
Dan Aykroyd, I'm sure you've heard of him.
He's an actor.
Very funny guy.
Very smart guy.
Good musician.
But did you know that he is a brilliant thinker when it comes to Homeland Security?
No.
No.
Well, of course you don't because he doesn't advertise, he doesn't talk about it.
But he came to me after we opened the House of Blues in Chicago one time, and he showed me a piece of paper that he'd written a plan on to create a situation where you could raise money for Homeland Security using input from corporations in different towns across the and he showed me a piece of paper that he'd written a plan on to create a situation where you And Dan, by the way, is a Canadian citizen, so his interest was also bringing Canadian and U.S. law enforcement together.
Now, at this point, I'm like, what?
Dan Aykroyd actually spends time thinking about how he can fund the enemy?
Department of Homeland Security?
Who run TSA and Border Patrol?
Really?
Is this guy N.K. Ultrad or what?
And then, listen to the ease.
The ease that Skunk Baxter has access.
It was a very, very smart plan.
So I figured, okay, Dan, tell you what, let's go to the White House.
So I take Dan to the White House with me.
I introduce him to General Gordon, who at the time was the president's point person on Homeland Security.
Dan shows it to General Gordon and says, this is great.
Let's go over and see Brent Scowcroft.
We're all jumping in the limousine.
Off we go to see Brent, Arnie Cantor, and the folks over there.
And Brent looks at us and says, this is a great idea.
Dan Aykroyd coming up with a brilliant idea about Homeland Security.
Well, you know what?
Does anybody know James Woods, the actor?
Did you know that James Woods graduated from MIT with a minor in international relations?
He should be Secretary of State.
He kicks butt!
So he stops short of saying that James Woods is also a spook.
So I call upon the No Agenda audience.
Hold on a second.
Just because I believe this caught me a little bit flat-footed, I guess the way it did you, this has got to be the clip of the day.
Oh!
I'm so outraged by it, I wasn't even thinking of awards for myself.
Well, give yourself one.
But I will take it.
Absolutely.
So I say now, if you are in possession of a VHS tape of Ghostbusters, or of the Blues Brothers, a DVD, break it!
Burn it!
Burn it now, I say!
This man is a traitor!
You sound just like Jerry Seinfeld.
Thank you.
I'm doing pretty good, yeah.
The guy is a traitor.
Spies Like Us, yeah, that was one of his movies, sure.
Uh-huh.
Makes total sense.
Now, you...
Hold on a sec.
We have documented for the four years we've been doing, five years we've been doing this show, the Hollywood spy contingent, which seems to be a crap load of guys.
Uh-huh.
I mean, you know, Clooney and the rest of them are always involved.
Pritt, Clooney, Damon, Affleck, Angelina Jolie.
Right.
Dan Aykroyd, that hurts.
He's not even pretty!
Why is this a shock to you?
Dan Aykroyd!
Come on!
I mean, Dan Aykroyd?
I mean, Skunk Baxter, okay, you know, guys with mustaches like that, you know they're hiding something.
This guy's got a big droopy mustache.
But Dan Aykroyd?
Nah.
And that he's just sitting at home like...
Here's the choices Dan Aykroyd has.
I can do another movie.
I can license some more Ghostbuster stuff.
I can call some hookers.
I know.
Let's raise some money for the Department of Homeland Security.
I mean, come on!
Maybe he likes to get patted down.
This is hurtful!
I'm going to show my support by donating to No Agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
Yeah, on No Agenda.
Burn in my face.
In the morning.
As our new policy, we'll be giving kudos to everyone who's donated money and then a shot of karma at the end of the whole thing.
George Smithwick in Rockville, Maryland is at the top of the list with $100.
Hey, Rockville, I used to live when I was a kid.
Yeah.
Right near Rockville.
You bet I did.
Rockville, Maryland.
$100.
KAB3VOT73. In one and two, yes.
Stephen Hawkins in Wakefield, West Yorkshire.
Really?
$100.
Darrell Howe is in Portland, Maine.
$100.
A lot of hunters today.
Christopher Rivera, Superior, Colorado.
100.
James Allen Laudberg in Reistad.
By the way, we do read all the notes, personally, and we just don't read them on the air anymore.
James Allen Laudberg in Reistad, Norway.
100.
Janie Cochran in Wichita, Kansas.
99.99.
You can play the 99.99 thing.
I think...
Do we know her...
I think it's her husband who donates normally towards the show.
Matt.
Yeah, let me do the niner, niner, niner, niner.
Very appreciative.
It's cool, you know, when women...
Niner, niner, niner, niner, niner!
Helping him get his knighthood.
Yeah, when women do that for their man, that is real love.
That is really...
You know, I got a note from somebody that says, well, I can't give you any money.
My wife finds out she hates you guys.
Yeah, I saw that.
Time for a new wife, my friend.
Itay Zezkely.
Zezkely.
Ah, this is bad.
It's in Tel Aviv.
I would say Itay Zezkely.
Itay Zezkely.
I'm doing my Israeli accent.
Itay Zezkely.
9999.
Morgan Blake, Matlock, Derbyshire.
Derbyshire.
In the UK, I would assume.
Started listening when I was on Buzz Out Loud, apparently.
I started listening after hearing Adam on Buzz Out Loud at 69 cents per show, equating to a just-getting-by of 97.98.
Oh, very cool.
Would appreciate a de-douching.
Oh, well, I'll give him that one, then.
You've been de-douched.
Christoph Burkhardt in La Jolla, California, 77.81, loves the show.
I just realized we outlived Buzz Out Loud.
Ugh!
Whatever.
Yeah, Buzz Out Loud is done.
Kyle, I think.
Now, Kyle Niccolo in Leesburg, Virginia, 7733.
He says it's the best value for value.
Four bucks a week, five dollar a month donor for some three years now.
In dire need of some karma.
And we'll give him some since he donates every which way.
You've got karma.
Anonymous in Brooklyn, New York, 7179.
Kyle Ferenz in Toronto, Ontario.
And here we are in a segment, 6969.
6969, dudes!
Thomas Wales, also in Toronto, and they're in the spreadsheet next to each other, which is cute.
6969, and these are all 6969s.
Sir Andrew Gardner in Mechanicsville, Maryland.
Brian Pryor, San Diego, California.
Gordon Walton, Sir Gordon in Austin, right up the street from you.
Have you ever seen him?
Yes.
Not only that, he needs some job karma.
He's the Golden Knight.
He's given us all kinds of gold doubloons and coins.
When we moved to Austin, he was the first one to take Miss Mickey.
Actually, he took us to our first barbecue.
Nice.
And he came to my talk at...
Oh, he was one of the three people there?
Do you know that we got a big mention?
Dame Francine wrote a beautiful piece about South by Southwest for Fast Company.
And my speech is heralded as one of the highlights.
It's good to be connected like that.
She's awesome.
We're dangerous.
You know, and remember she was bitching and moaning about us not doing any marketing.
I would like to, just as I remember this, I'd like to call out noagendacd.com.
They have done something fantastic.
They have broken down, I think it must be 40 different snippets.
That you can either combine, mix and match, and send to people.
But they're just mp3s if you want.
And it's like two minute bites of really short stuff.
And it's just a concise topic.
Take a look at noagendaCD.com.
If you're trying to hit someone in the mouth and tell them, hey, this is just a little piece of the show.
Yeah, there's some other stuff on it.
But this is the kind of stuff they do.
You want to check that out.
And Dame Francine was really talking about that.
So anyway, Sir Gordon Walton, I do want to give him some job karma because I know he needs it.
You've got karma.
We take care of our knights here on the show.
Raleigh Rakama in Helsinki, Eric Wells in Georgia, Sir Todd Simons in Brisbane, and he's going to get a fourth knighthood to his son.
That's right.
Brian Williams in Streamwood, Illinois.
Oh, back to Sir Todd, since he is a knight, he wants some karma for his birth due on the 17th.
His what?
His first child of Damon.
He will be the first...
Oh, the son is not even born yet.
And already a knight?
He's the only pre-born knight.
A preemie knight.
So he actually gets born as a knight.
Wow, talk about real royalty.
You've got karma.
Yeah, that's true.
That's pretty funny.
That's great.
Brian Williams, but the one in Illinois, I believe, is not the same one we're thinking of.
Uncle Thor, which is supposed to be great.
Brian, if you go to New York, make reservations in a lot of places.
Yeah, Brian Williams.
Brian Williams.
Just talk a little bit.
Just look like a dick.
Uncle Thor in Manly, New South Wales, 6969.
Brr, brr, brr, brr.
Werner Thieling in...
Where do you think he's from?
I don't know.
It looks like he's from Holland.
Well...
So it would be Werner Thieling.
Here, let me just read...
Let me just read what he's saying here, because he has...
He's really like a...
Kind of a downer...
A downer note.
He's from the lowlands.
Hey, let me...
I'm going to...
He wants...
I need a little karma...
You've got karma.
He didn't want us to read this on the air.
He put some stuff there in Dutch.
He says now every day has its bohica moments.
Yes.
Which stands for bend over, here it comes again.
Hey now.
For the double nickels on the dime, I'd like to call out Sergeant Fred, who hand-delivered double nickels on the dime here in Austin, along with a beautiful challenge coin.
And, John, I kept saying to him, Fred, I can't accept this.
And I have him for you.
Hold on.
I'm going to post a picture.
He gave me three bumper stickers.
Now, you know, Sergeant Fred was a paratrooper in Vietnam.
Okay.
And I'm holding in my hand three bumpers, actually two bumper stickers and one urinal sticker.
The bumper sticker is, one is, I'm not Fonda's Hanoi Jane.
The other one, I will forgive Jane Fonda when the Jews forgive Hitler.
Okay.
And then there's an actual urinal sticker that says Hanoi Jane's urinal sticker, which the enlisted men at the time were putting in the urinal so they could pee on her.
And these are actual collector's items from Sergeant Fred.
And I'm like, dude, you've had these for how long?
Well, you know, since Vietnam.
I can't take these from you.
He said, no, I got doubles.
Yeah, he probably just said that.
It's probably his wife.
Get rid of this stuff!
No, no, no.
Sergeant Fred does not have a significant other, I don't believe.
Takes good care of his mom up there in Dallas, I think.
James Mann in Delaware, double nickels on the dime.
Stephen Schnabel in Rothshire.
Something.
Scotland.
He's in Scotland.
Boy?
Scotland.
Rob Warren, Sunderland, UK. Peter van de Castille in Ghent.
Peter van de Castille.
That's exactly what I said.
He's of the castle.
Value for value, $54.20.
Then we have Anonymous in Rowlett, Texas.
Kevin Payne in Chantilly, Virginia.
Nick Barnes, Ohio.
PL of Mesa, Arizona.
Intercan.net.
In Manhattan, Kansas.
Brett Farrell, 50 bucks.
And Brian Watson in Raleigh.
Brendan Savoy in Port Orchard, Washington.
Sir Mike Westerfeld, Westerfield.
Ed Hager in Bainbridge Island.
Stu Coates in Essex.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Bainbridge?
Okay, no.
Bainbridge.
Bainbridge, yep.
If you get out the ferry, head into the peninsula, you go through Bainbridge usually.
Stu Coates in Essex.
Johans.
I don't know.
It's a bunch of dollar signs.
Turku?
Why can't PayPal figure this out?
This sucks.
I don't know.
It's very annoying.
Turku.
John in Illinois and Mark Milliman in Longmont, Colorado.
And Dan Scalise in Connecticut.
John Critchley in Forch.
Jerry Zack in Electra.
Ooh, I love the name of that town.
Electra, Texas.
Christopher Rivera in Superior, Colorado.
And finally, Thomas Imbrex and Dan Greb in Pennsylvania.
Imbrex is in, I don't know where he is.
Where's Namur?
I have no idea.
Oh, Namur, Belgium?
Yeah.
Hmm.
Where is Namur in Belgium?
I don't know.
Namur, Belgium.
I mean, I know quite a bit about Belgium.
Well, you apparently don't know that much.
No, let's see.
Oh, okay, it's right by the Ardennes.
Technically, it's kind of interesting.
It falls in both of Baron Pelsmacher's protectorates.
Yeah.
It's in France and in Belgium.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah.
He should set up his HQ there.
Yeah, it's fun.
It sounds nice.
No one's ever heard of it.
It's perfect.
Yeah, they got a little river and stuff.
Anyway, that's our associate, or I'm sorry, our contributors to show.
Producers.
Producers.
495.
And what we really like seeing, and I, again, have received so many notes from people saying that they've gone on a subscription program, and that's really the least, you know, that's all we ask for, really, is just contribute regularly to the show.
Yeah, but we also ask that you check it once in a while, because these...
Somebody, again, I got a note from people.
Oh, you've canceled this guy's subscription.
I sent him a note I never heard back.
But we didn't.
We don't do that.
Why would we do that?
It makes no sense.
Yeah, but that's the note that you receive is that no agenda has canceled your subscription.
Well, no, we don't do that.
And by the way, you also receive no note and your subscription is canceled.
Yeah.
I think a lot of people just forgot, don't look anymore, but it's so nice to see everyone basically stepping up and saying, yeah, I know I can find $5 a month.
Other people find more value in it and have more value to present, but either way, we're just happy that you're contributing.
And a lot of people send checks to their bank, which is a really cool way to worry about that getting canceled.
Let's give everyone a LGY karma and get back to the show.
I would like to do an LGY, but I think also...
Let me see.
I think we should also do a Living the Mac and Cheese Life, just to top it off.
Living the Mac and Cheese Life.
Mac and Cheese.
Wow!
You've got karma.
All righty, and as always, jvorak.org slash N-A.
Ow, it hurts.
It's a birthday birthday.
Slip of the finger.
I'm so much younger.
And we say, happy birthday to, well, Kirk Ann says, happy birthday, Mom.
You would have turned 69 today.
And so this is for her, a memoriam.
Happy birthday, Mom, Kirk Ann.
Sir Andrew Gardner, happy birthday to his brother, Elliot Gardner, also celebrating today.
And no agenda racing team, noagenderracing.com.
And Sir Todd Simons says, happy birthday to his soon-to-be-born child due on the 17th.
So I believe we're going tonight in just moments from now.
It's amazing.
So what do you do for a fetus night?
Thank you.
Thank you.
He's just a night.
I mean, there's nothing special.
No, but we can't give him hookers and blow.
Ah, breast milk.
Breast milk and...
Breast milk and pablum.
Pablum?
What is Pablum?
Look it up.
Just tell me.
Just tell me what it is.
Pablum?
Yeah, it's a good gag.
It sounds good.
Breast, musk, milk, and Pablum.
Did you know, I heard that in Gitmo Nation Lowlands, this is how greedy the people have become.
The society is falling apart.
There is a shortage of baby milk.
Not in the mother's breast, but just in stores.
Why?
Because in China, they had another one of those scares about the quality of the baby milk, you know, like they poison it and stuff like that.
And the Dutch producers of baby milk just turned around and went, oh, okay, we're going to sell it all to China at top dollar, literally leaving their own people milkless.
Really?
Yeah.
Because they have no shame.
They don't care.
They literally do not care.
It's like, oh, well, we can sell it to the Chinese.
Screw it.
I also found out, by the way, that in Rotterdam, the Chinese are taking over.
It's like Africa there.
Cool.
Yeah.
There's just tons of Chinese.
The number one course at university now being taught is Mandarin.
And everyone's freaking out because the Chinese are hedging.
They may decide to leave Rotterdam.
You know what that's all about.
The Chinese just all their oil and gas.
They may decide to leave Rotterdam and go to the German ports.
And if the Chinese leave...
Dude, then the Netherlands might as well just close shop if the port isn't working.
That's all they got left is the port of Rotterdam.
Anyway, I digress.
So, let me...
That's your problem.
Ha!
Go talk to your government.
I'm going to meet the Prime Minister, by the way.
When?
9th of May, which will be...
The 9th of May will be official Dutch Day in Texas to be celebrated in Austin.
And I am on the guest list.
I am on the guest list.
How did you work that deal?
Okay, you want to know?
Yeah, that's what I asked.
Okay, so it's South by Southwest.
And what happens is you have the NBSO, the New Business Service Office of the Dutch...
Embassy.
See, you wonder what ambassadors do?
They go to party at South By.
That's all you do when you're an ambassador.
Yeah, exactly.
Party all the time.
Yes, and then they set up a Holland house, which literally consisted of hookers dancing in milkmaid outfits.
Pretty awesome.
To techno beat.
And just free booze the whole time.
Was that South by Southwest?
Yeah, and because these guys, I had called them when Miss Mickey got deported, and they had definitely helped out somewhat on the Dutch side what they could do.
But it sped up some of the process.
So I said, hey, I owe you guys one.
Expedited.
So I said, of course, I owe you guys one.
And of course, they came to collect.
He's like, oh, you got to come out and party with us to Holland House.
And literally, they're walking by German House.
And I'm not going to say what his function was or who he was, but the guy was calling out, Krauts!
And like, I want my bike back!
He was like yelling at the German house.
Did he use the bike joke?
I'm telling you, man.
It was weird.
I'm like, wow, okay.
I'm like, okay.
It's funny because every time I've used that bike joke, I always have some Dutch kids say, we don't care anymore.
Well, I think there was some alcohol involved.
So anyway...
By the way, explain to newer listeners or listeners, because I think we referred to the bike thing some years back, what the bike joke's all about.
Oh, well, the Germans came in.
The Netherlands capitulated within, I think, 72 hours when the Germans came in, took over Europe.
And by the way, they obliterated Rotterdam, just completely flattened it.
And, you know, there was a lot of bad blood between the Dutch and the Germans, and the Germans, like, took everything.
The art, you know, they took our Jews.
They took everything, including bikes.
They confiscated all the bicycles.
Yeah, so not anymore, really.
But when I was growing up, certainly 10, 20 years ago, if you saw a German, you'd say, hey, you know, I want my bike back.
It was kind of like a cute joke, but not, you know, the Germans didn't.
I want my bike back.
So not very funny.
But, you know, so anyone of my age still thinks that's hilarious, of course.
But he was actually calling them moffa, which is, you know, that's like kraut, like dumb.
You know, the moffa were, that was a Dutch word for the moffen, M-O-F-F-E-N. That was a Dutch word for Nazis, the moffa.
Hey, mofo!
I was like, what?
Dude, it's a mofo.
It's kind of.
So anyway, so right now, there's actually contemplation of opening a consulate here in Austin.
I'm in the middle of these douchebag elites.
Actually, there's one guy who's really, really sweet, and we like him.
He's helped us.
But you know what these people are like.
They're partying on the Queen's Dime.
And so there's going to be this Holland Day because the Netherlands apparently supplies 100,000 jobs to Texas.
God knows how many billions of euros.
But when I heard that Rick Perry and the Prime Minister of the Netherlands were both going to be at this celebration, I'm like, I have to be there.
And then one of these guys, I swear to God, John, turns to me and he says, you know Perry's a cross-dresser, right?
I'm like, what?
What?
Yeah.
So now there's this email thread.
Only on No Agenda Show, ladies and gentlemen, to find out these tidbits.
Just a little tidbit.
And so now there's this email thread that's like, Adam wants to dance with Rick Perry, which is all about the invites.
What?
Yeah, you should.
Totally.
I'm wearing my high heels, baby.
And if you know anything about the new Prime Minister, or the Prime Minister again of the Netherlands, there's enough rumors about him.
He also was not married, and I don't think we know of any significant other.
So the whole thing is just a big gay fest in Austin.
And I'm there, reporting on the scene for you, everybody.
Wow.
Now I'm impressed.
Yeah?
What do you think of that?
Show me what you got, big boy.
A chopper.
Oh, there you go.
All right.
Greg Filer.
Sir Greg Filer, please step forward.
And Sir Todd Simons, please step forward to receive the knighthood for your forthcoming knight, who, of course, is a fetus currently.
Very proud.
I don't know what to call him, but we'll just call him...
Well, we'll say, welcome...
Sir Simons Jr.
and Sir Greg Fyler of the Tribes.
Both of you Knights of the Noah General Roundtable.
Of course, we've got the hookers and blow, rent boys and chardonnay, hot pants and booze, wenches and beer, ruminesse women and rosé, gaishas and sake, vodka and vanilla, bong hits and bourbon, sparkling cider and escorts, mutton and meat, and breast milk and pablum.
And you will enjoy that.
And I'll hold on to your hookers for you, son.
When you're a little bit older, you come see Uncle Adam and we'll take care of you.
As I was looking up the child's name, you did give Greg his name, right?
Yes, I did.
I did.
I don't think he has a name yet.
No.
No.
So, we are going with new levels for existing nights.
John, do we have an ETA on that?
No.
Okay, good work.
Thank you.
But you can continue to support this program, and I'm pretty sure that, of course, it's...
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I do have an ETA next Thursday.
Oh, okay.
Right on.
That'll give me the week to work on the...
Good, good work, good work, good work.
I'm pretty sure that there is no other radio pronunciation, podcast, program, or any type of media where you would have heard the Rick Perry unsubstantiated rumor, mainly because that program would be off the air.
Immediately.
Even though it's a rumor, although you never really said this in fact, you said the guy turned to you and told you this, which is the kind of thing we can do on the show because we're supported by our listeners.
You cannot do that sort of thing on a show.
It's a show that's sponsored.
And I can just hear the guys, because I, by the way, can be a manager.
You can't say something like that on this show.
We have sponsors.
Many of them are located in Texas.
And this is an insult to all Texans that you would even suggest such a thing without.
Unsubstantiated.
You're fired!
Dvorak.org slash NA. Yay.
Am I right?
Yes, and I think I've heard that speech.
Just insert different town for Texas.
You can't do that in The Hague!
Oh, well, you had to burn the place down.
That's different.
Yeah, that's so different.
That's so different.
Prediction for the Red Book.
Alright, I'm in.
President Obama is going to visit Israel.
I think this is his first visit.
And I am predicting a hostage situation at the Temple Mount with explosions.
I don't think so.
Okay.
But do I get my own page in the book or just because you don't think so?
You don't get a page.
I write it down and then I highlight it with either a yellow or a pink.
With a marker.
Well, okay.
You may not like my predictions, but did you hear Jean-Claude Juncker's prediction?
Yes.
No.
Do I put it in the red book?
Well, here it is.
It's not in English, so the audio that we have of it, so I shall translate.
Jean-Claude Juncker, Prime Minister of Luxembourg and President of the Eurogroup, made a statement at a reception for the Luxembourg Press.
Now, I'll tell you what's interesting about the statement in a moment.
I'm going to translate, as widely reported now, his statement.
The Prime Minister warns that the years 2013 could become the same year before the war like 1913, where all people believed in peace until the war started.
Alright, well that would fit in with my cycle theory.
The question is, he said this in January, but it only came out now.
And it was, I mean, you will not find this in a, or it's very difficult to find it in like, you know, the New York Times, but it was all over the European press all of a sudden, just like broke, just like, whoa!
And everyone's like, well, what does he know that we don't know?
And I'm thinking he's a new listener.
I'm thinking he finally caught up.
He heard about the cycle theory.
And the war.
And I mean, it hasn't happened, so we can't cross it off in the Red Book, but it is nice to have someone join in with your theory, John, that looks like there's a war coming.
There's a war afoot.
There is a war afoot.
So, good work.
I guess.
I guess.
I don't know.
I haven't done anything, really.
It's a long...
Yeah, you have.
It's way out there.
We have to get the economy's got to go through some tribulations first.
And then we have, I do have a couple of clips I want to play just to get, because I promised one clip in the newsletter, which is the clip where Kaiser so say, I'm sorry, Max Kaiser.
Yes.
Let's see.
I got two Max Kaiser clips.
Now you can play them both.
One of them is ludicrous, which is the Bitcoin.
Bitcoin does have collateral.
I didn't know that.
Did you know that?
Bitcoin has collateral?
Yes, Bitcoin has collateral.
Here play Kaiser, Bitcoin collateral.
Max Kaiser is the oracle of finance, the guy who...
On RT. On RT, who made his money initially by selling the Hollywood Stock Exchange.
Correct?
Yeah, basically.
I don't know what he made for, but he was a trader.
And we have kind of had our eye on him.
He's one of these guys that is telling you to buy gold and silver while he is actually representing a company selling gold and silver.
Yeah, and he also claims to have made a million dollars so far on Bitcoin.
What?
Is that in this clip?
I don't know if it's in this clip or not, but he does say that in his interview.
Paul's been saying that for years.
You know, we've got to get rid of the Fed, got to get rid of the Fed.
And there hasn't been any traction or any movement whatsoever.
And hackers understand that privacy is a big issue going forward.
You know, the privacy is something that is at the heart of what Kim.com in New Zealand is talking about with Mega.
You know, Mega has now got over 50 million users.
It's becoming a billion-dollar company.
He calls himself a privacy company.
Everything is encrypted, just like Bitcoin is entirely encrypted.
Privacy is the new scarcest resource in the world today.
That's what backs Bitcoin, is privacy.
It guarantees privacy.
And in this day and age, that's a very scarce commodity, with every single one of our emails being spied on, with millions of CCTV cameras installed everywhere we go.
Privacy is one of the rarest commodities in the world.
That's what collateralizes, essentially, Bitcoin, and that's why it's such a valuable currency.
And so the act of...
You know, it's funny because I have a different clip from Max Keiser on RT, and it's much better quality because it's him, I think, on a video link.
RT, by the way, is propaganda from the Russians, mainly intent to bring down our society.
I think that's pretty fair to say.
This was, by the way, this was taken from the Alex Jones show.
He did interview him.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't see a lot of people said he was on and was like crazy.
But when I heard this, I'm like, Max Kaiser has an agenda in this case, and I don't think it's for your benefit.
Just listen.
You think that was bullshit what he just said?
Listen to this.
Well, efficient is a good word.
First of all, it's up 200% this year.
So the Dow Jones is hitting an all-time new low against Bitcoin.
Okay.
So apparently now Bitcoin is trading against the Dow Jones.
This is a currency that people are starting to gravitate to as a store of value.
Huh?
A store of value?
No.
You can call it a lot of things, but it's definitely not.
I mean, what is the definition of a store of value, John?
I have no idea.
It's like something he dreamed up.
No, I've heard this.
It means like a store, like someplace where things are put and value.
It's like containing value.
Let me see.
Store of...
Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Is it real?
Is it real?
Store of value.
Here we go.
A recognized form of exchange can be a form of money or currency, a commodity.
To act as a store of value, these forms must be able to be saved and retrieved at a later time and be predictably useful when retrieved.
Yeah.
Gold, yeah.
Silver, yeah.
Bitcoin?
Not so sure.
I'm not even sure the dollar is a store of value.
Realizing that the other currencies out there, like the dollar, the yen, and the euro, are just fiat currencies run by central banks who have the ability to print trillions and trillions in an attempt to debase their currency in what's called the currency war.
Whereas with Bitcoin, there is a limited supply.
It is a storehouse of value.
Now it's a storehouse of value.
It's cryptologically protected, so it gives users the benefit of making anonymous transactions.
Sorry, that's not true, Max.
The crypto does not give you any benefit of anonymity.
No, it attracts everything you do.
And yes, it is.
If you're buying whores for Bitcoin, you're going to have a knock on the door.
Hold on.
Are there whores for Bitcoin yet?
I'll send you a link.
Okay.
And yes, it is very efficient.
You can send money anywhere in the world for a fraction of 1%, which is a lot cheaper than anyone else offers.
So it's going to challenge the business.
There was another one that popped up today.
I don't understand why people do this.
It says, you can now buy anything you want on Amazon or any other web store through an intermediary, and they'll only charge you 4%.
So if you use Bitcoin, it costs you 4% more.
What?
Yeah.
At least when you use a credit card on Amazon, the 4% gets charged to Amazon, not the buyer.
Models of the big banks, the so-called two big defail banks.
And let me add something else, Abby, is that this rise in Bitcoin shows you the real effects of the money printing that's going on.
Okay.
So when it dropped right after our show on Thursday, by the way, when it dropped almost 25%, was that because the printing press stopped momentarily?
Exactly.
Somebody actually, I heard this, so maybe a rumor may not be true, but somebody accidentally hit the stop button.
Okay.
On the giant printing presses.
Oh, no!
And stop!
Bitcoin tumbles because the printing press stops.
At the Federal Reserve Bank.
You know, Ben Bernanke, in his testimony before Congress, will say, well, we don't see any inflation, even though his CPI number that they used to gauge inflation...
So he's totally talking towards libertarian people, and he's selling something.
Yeah, he's selling Bitcoin some way, shape, or form.
I think he has an exchange.
Because when he was, and he still tells people, buy silver, you could actually buy a silver ounce coin with his head on it.
Right.
So he's telling you to buy it, but he's selling it.
Yeah, if somebody's telling you to buy it and they're selling it, that's pretty sketchy.
I do have the promised million dollar clip.
Oh, I have it too.
Do we have different clips or is this the same one?
No, I don't know.
I doubt it, but play mine, then play yours.
Which is yours?
Which is yours?
It says million dollar clip.
I don't have a million dollar clip.
Oh, promised.
Okay, it says promised million dollar.
Bitcoin is not owned yet by nearly anywhere near the penetration it could get to, Alex.
Let me explain the potential for Bitcoin.
It could conceivably capture 1 to 10 percent That would mean an implied price for Bitcoin moving from 46 to 100,000, potentially a million dollars per Bitcoin.
There's only going to be 21 million ever created in existence, and that'll be it.
They've already had 10 million created.
25 new Bitcoins are created every 10 minutes, and that's the rate at which these are entering the economy.
The Federal Reserve System hates it.
They would love to kill it.
They're attacking it in any way they can, but they will fail.
Here's my million-dollar promise.
And it has room to become 1, 2, 5, 10% of the global Forex market.
So that Bitcoin price, which last year was at $4, which is currently trading almost at $50, if it captures 10% of the global market, you could see Bitcoin's trading for $100,000 of Bitcoin, a million dollars of Bitcoin.
That's the potential.
Let me ask you this, though.
It's the exact same thing.
The guy's got his script.
He's got his pitch down, doesn't he?
Now, I will say this.
I use BitPay.
A couple of our producers, I guess, run BitPay.
So I've been selling, obviously, to get to like 10 a day.
I'm just taking it easy.
And I sold 10, and then, you know, the next day, they had that drop, and it was, you know, I think I exchanged it for 47, and then it was 43, and then it didn't show up in the bank.
I'm like, ugh.
Okay, here we go.
But it did show up the next day, so it was a delay, which is none of this is really pleasing.
And they did do it for the 47th, so they got screwed on the deal, you know.
So, I mean, this is a very, very dangerous sport.
But now that Max Keiser has said that this will go to a million dollars, I still have about 100 Bitcoin.
Of course...
When I originally received these Bitcoins...
Doesn't the show have a few of these in the part of the show?
Yes.
John, don't worry.
You're good for $2 million.
I think you should keep $2 million.
You should keep one coin each.
No, I'm going to keep $100 million.
Are you kidding me?
I want to have $100 million.
No.
Yes, yes.
I want $100 million.
I'm believing Max.
He told me twice now.
Yeah, with the exact same phraseology.
He's going to be out of this thing as soon as he can.
And the other thing is, by the way, I've been reading some legal briefs on this.
This whole thing is about 10 minutes away of getting, especially with Kaiser out there.
He's making these kinds of things you couldn't do if it was a security because it's against the law.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, that's why it's so beautiful.
Yeah, it's a scam.
I mean, the whole thing is just obviously a scam or you wouldn't have guys saying stuff like this, making promises that it's going to be worth a million dollars a coin.
Come off it.
But it's Max Keiser.
It's like now it's become funny.
I mean, if Max Keiser were to approach it I like it when he, you know, we've already discussed it.
He's screaming too much, and now he moved from Paris to London.
So I think he's been co-opted.
He's back in the game, and I'm pretty sure that, I agree, he's got to be running an exchange, or he will be.
No, I think he is already because he's already had this.
He knows the business.
He did that Hollywood exchange.
Yeah.
And he probably had some things to do, some of these other ones that have been shut down.
Yeah.
And so he knows how to do it.
He probably already has the software.
He probably puts one of it.
The one you went through may be his, for all you know.
Oh, that's very possible.
Very possible.
Yeah, so just the whole thing is like, oh.
You've got to provide some liquidity in the early parts of such a scheme.
Yeah.
Yeah, but he's so good at explaining things, and then when he just goes off on this, I mean, he also promised Silver would go to 60.
Well, he probably will in the next couple hundred years.
Right, but his whole thing was, you know, squeeze J.P. Morgan or whoever, you know, whatever.
Yeah, no, he uses all the memes of, let's screw the banks, they're screwing us, and we need our freedom, and all the rest of the libertarian, essentially the libertarian litany, and he uses it, he leverages that to make somehow this thing...
Did you listen to the, obviously you clipped it, what was Alex Jones' take on all this?
Well, interestingly enough, I think the typical thing is this clip here, which is stay tuned for a commercial break.
Stay there as we take a break.
This is the classic, to me, this is what the whole show is this, the Kaiser stay tuned clip.
Months ago, I predicted that there would be a huge crash.
Stay there.
We've got to go to break.
So that's the whole show.
Let's stay here.
We've got to take a break.
Alex Jones' take was that Max Keiser may have invented Bitcoin.
Okay.
And he's trying to talk him into admitting it.
And he was kind of rolling his eyes a lot.
He didn't really buy into it at all.
So I kind of give him credit for that.
Oh, okay.
Oh, really?
That's interesting.
Well, Alex Jones can't.
Alex Jones sells gold.
He doesn't want to get this going.
Yeah, and if you listen to his commercials, one of them is like, one of the things you need most is storable food and seeds.
You need more than guns and gold.
You need storable food and seeds.
That's what happened when the revolution...
What?
I have a Berkey, though.
I buy all his products.
I can't help it.
Huh.
I'm down with it.
I mean, I have seeds.
You have some seeds.
I have seeds.
I have a one-acre crisis garden.
I do.
In normal conditions, in normal storage in your kitchen, seeds are only good for about four years.
They start to fall off.
I think half...
Ho-ho, ho-ho, ho-ho.
Uh-uh.
These, my friend, are, what do you call them?
Heirloom.
Heirloom seeds.
Yeah.
Good luck planting them in about five years.
Heirloom seeds, I tell you.
Mickey has laughed at me so hard about that thing.
Because it comes in a round PVC tube.
And it's filled with packets of seeds.
And she's moved it three times now.
Since we're in San Francisco.
Every single time she's like, really?
Really?
I should plant that.
Do you think it'll still...
It seems to be.
If you want seeds, ladies and gentlemen, go get burpees or find one of these seed companies.
There's a number of them.
They got seeds for everything.
Buy these bogus seeds from some...
Hey, I want to play something for you from Joe O'Biden.
And I want you to just...
I'm hesitating whether I should tell you the payoff up front or I should bring it to you.
Nah, screw it.
I'm not going to tell you.
Joe Biden, Joe O'Biden, This is about some countries we know about and we've heard some stuff about.
And we've always been wondering what's going on with Syria and what's going on with Pakistan and what's going on with Algeria.
Syria and Algeria, these have been in the news recently, right?
We have like some...
We know Syria is like Assad is doing bad stuff and Algeria is like Al-Qaeda.
I wonder what all this is about.
Maybe Joe can enlighten us.
I arise today To address a topic that I think is as important to the future of U.S. in world security interest as any that I've spoken to, but we seem not to want to speak to it very much over the last 10 years and clearly over the last two months.
Mr.
President, I rise today to address the topic of Chinese weapons proliferation, a subject that I'm sorry to say we may be returning to again and again in the days and weeks ahead.
If true, recent press reports of Chinese involvement in the proliferation of medium-range ballistic missiles to Syria and Pakistan and nuclear weapons technology to Algeria.
The year of this was 1991.
That is Senator Joe Biden with a 12-minute diatribe about Chinese putting weapons into Syria and Algeria and Pakistan.
That would have been a clip of the day if he hadn't gotten it already.
Isn't that amazing?
And it goes on and on.
Here, just listen a little bit more.
But he said nukes to Algeria?
Yes!
Nukes!
What?
Unbelievable.
This is the kind of crap we have to wade through on a day-to-day basis, knowing that in the future we'll just look back on his crap.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, but the question is, is it really true?
I mean, he makes...
He's really...
And he's...
This, of course, is...
91.
Who was in 91?
I think it was Clinton.
You sure?
No, I think it was Bush Sr., wasn't it?
91?
No, Reagan was into 88, so then it was Bush Sr.
So he's basically in the opposition, and he's bitching and moaning about how Bush is like, oh no, most favored nation status for the Chiners.
Open a very new chapter in the Chinese flaunting of international norms of behavior, in my opinion.
It appears that China is reportedly becoming a rogue elephant.
A rogue elephant?
Anyway, look at the whole thing in the show notes.
It's crazy.
1991.
And he's talking about Assad, but it's about the old guy Assad.
Yeah, the old man.
So what do you think?
Do you think it's really about the Chiners?
It's always about the Chiners.
But in Syria, I thought it was about the Russians.
It's confusing because the Russians have the port.
But maybe it is.
The Russians are the players in Syria.
I don't think the Chinese had any involvement with that guy.
They didn't need to because the original Assad, that old man, was the number one gangster in the Middle East.
He was behind a lot of bombings and terrorism and everything.
And he would shut up if you gave him money.
That was the whole deal because they didn't have any oil then and all the rest of it.
Somehow the Russians cozied up to him or found the oil.
And that, you know, the rest is history, but no.
He wasn't doing shit like that to the Chinese, so they weren't ponying up anything, so they weren't in Syria at all.
Okay.
It seems to me, I mean, Biden might be right.
Well, Algeria.
Well, Algeria, nukes in Algeria, I'm thinking that could be right.
I don't think it's...
No, there's not right.
There's no way.
It's not right.
That's just not right.
That's not right.
Oh, crap.
I got a funny clip that would have been clip of the day.
I thought that that was...
It was on Russia Today.
You know that cute little kind of Asian-looking girl who's the anchor?
No.
She's talking...
Oh, well...
She's talking along and the teleprompter blows out.
And she tries to cover.
Oh no, and does smoke come out of her ears at a certain point?
She finally recovers, but I just have it blowing out.
Tell me if I'm not right about this analysis.
The thousands upon thousands of human costs in this war.
But the government cuts take effect.
With the debate right now, with the government cuts, steps take effect.
We've all had it happen to us.
We've all had it happen to me.
No, yeah, no.
It scrolled the other way.
Yeah.
I hate it when that happens.
All right.
Time for a...
You slaves can get used to mac and cheese, mac and cheese, macaroni and cheddar melted together.
Mac and cheese, mac and cheese, mac and cheese.
It's gotten so bad, the Canadians are now on the mac and cheese tip, John.
So for the home cook then, how can they go about trying to incorporate it in a broader fashion and understand that it can be more than just a dressing, more than just a condiment?
If you're doing a nice mac and cheese with...
A little bit of maple syrup in your mac and cheese.
And there's now, I think it's coupons.com.
So here we have two kids, two brothers.
You've got to see this video in the show notes.
Two brothers.
And by the way, they have a brand new MacBook Air.
And they're sitting at the kitchen table talking about how to help mom save money.
Apparently.
By not buying a MacBook Air.
That's what I was thinking, but they're online surfing for coupons for mac and cheese.
We weren't really trying to save our family money, but Mom said our favorite brand of mac and cheese costs too much.
Mac and cheese, it costs too much.
So I did what any smart kid would do.
I told Mom to go to coupons.com.
Coupons.com.
It's so easy.
You can print coupons at home for free and save money on your favorite brands.
Mac and cheese, we just save money on mac and cheese.
Even he can do it.
More mac and cheese, guys?
Yes, please!
Coupon.com I weep for the children of America.
I weep for you.
It's so bad that you're now being taught to look for coupons for mac and cheese.
It's not just that you're being served mac and cheese.
And can I make an...
I have to make a red book, but this came to me.
This is such an obvious one.
Such an obvious product that it will happen.
In fact, I wish I could just take this and license it to the company.
McDonald's Big Mac and Cheese.
I mean, how obvious is that?
It's cute.
It's cute?!
Yeah, it's cute.
Can I license it to them?
Well, they say, oh, we already thought of that.
That's what they'll say.
Living the mac and cheese life.
Mac and cheese.
They would say that and then they'd say, I would like you to meet our attorneys.
Yeah, our patent attorneys.
Because, you know, you're infringing on our patent.
I just want to wrap up with, I know you got some stuff, but we did have a couple of notes that came in.
Some follow-ups.
Always nice when we have follow-ups from our producers.
Now, you had turned the Buzzkill Bunker antennae towards New York City.
And there was all this unbelievable people having what they, in the report, called diarrhea.
Not diarrhea, but diarrhea around the bars in New York.
And this producer, let's just say, has access to the closed-circuit television systems in some of New York's public transportation.
Okay.
In the state.
And he says it's a daily thing to have people peeing and pooping in the subway elevators, even on platforms in front of all the cameras.
By the way, it seems that it's more often females who will do this than the males.
So I'm like, could you send me some more details on this?
He actually said, I'm going to interview one of the janitors, which I have.
Great, great, great.
I have the interview if you want.
It's only 40 seconds.
I heard stories from before I worked there, which were pretty crazy.
One time, a woman with four kids was riding the elevator.
When it got to the top, she sent her kids out to be her lookout and then pooped in the corner of the elevator right in front of her kids.
Welcome to New York City.
The cop was watching this on camera, got on the PA, because basically...
No pooping!
Night lady!
What are you doing?
And there's another one.
Women are disgusting!
I'll tell you, women...
Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Well, this is kind of what the janitor says, but I will say this.
There's not a lot of public restrooms in New York.
Also true, because I asked.
He said there really aren't public restrooms.
He said, interestingly, people, when there are public restrooms, his experience is they don't even trust him.
They won't even go in him.
They're really afraid of the public restroom.
Especially in a train station or someplace like that.
But apparently women are really the big, they're the poopers.
Now I know that it's always cute when women are like, ha ha ha, she's squatting to pee, which I, by the way, do not find very cute at all.
But according to him, his unscientific research, women are just disgusting.
They're just pooping everywhere.
And I'm not even going to read you verbatim the stories about tampons.
It's just disgusting.
No, it's disgusting.
While they're walking, they are changing their tampons.
That's all I'm going to say.
You want to hear the janitor?
I don't know if I do now.
Yeah, hit it.
Okay, so what are your theories regarding the increase in public defecation and urination in society today?
Well, I think there's a lot more increase in urination due to Homeless people and people that have medical problems and no place to go right away and they have to go and they're going in the elevators and around the outside of buildings and you know some people with the medical problems have to go fast and
they can't find a place to go.
Alright, thank you.
Alright, thank you.
Yeah, that sums it up.
Thank you for this.
Dude, that guy, I'll tell you, hard-hitting interview.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the type of analysis you get.
On the No Agenda Show.
We do have an anniversary.
I want to play the clip.
It's the 10th anniversary of the Iraq War.
Oh, hold on one second.
10th anniversary clip.
This is great.
We are approaching the 10-year anniversary of the Iraq War.
These anniversaries often serve as a time of reflection.
So we want to take a close look now at the cost of war.
When the U.S. invaded Iraq in 2003, the Bush administration estimated the war to cost in the ballpark of $50 to $60 billion.
But they were way off.
Between 2003 and 2011, the war cost more than $823 billion.
But the real long-term costs are estimated to be as much as $3.7 trillion.
Now this is, of course, the financial cost.
You can't put a price on the thousands upon thousands of human costs in this war.
So, okay, this is Russia Today, of course, you know, slamming us as usual.
But the joke of this is the funny part.
We had this clip.
I would love if we could dig it up.
It was the original estimated cost given before Congress by one of the generals who says it'll be two or three billion dollars at the most.
Remember that clip?
It was from at least, oh, it was a long, I mean, the clip was an old clip that we dug up and probably played out one of the first clips we played on the show.
We've got to dig that clip up because the general is just casually saying, oh yeah, it's going to cost us $2-3 billion.
We'll be in and out.
It's going to be in and out.
They're going to throw posies at us.
But we weren't doing the show then.
I mean, did we just have this clip?
No, no.
We played it at that point?
Yeah, no, the clip was a dug-up clip from the early part of the Bush administration.
Well, just give me a second.
I mean, it's worth doing a quick...
I don't know if you can find it.
It was a general, and Russia Today people should have known about this, because that would be the one you want, not 30 to 50 billion.
Well, seeing as they listen to our show, they should at least have gone through the show notes and tried to find it for us.
Yeah, I think this is pre-show notes, too.
Oh, really?
Yeah, then that's not going to work.
Yeah, I don't know if you're going to find it.
That's a problem.
We'll work on getting that clip, because that's the clip I want to pull out.
It was a classic.
And finally, well, I was just going to say, I've got one more thing that's kind of interesting, which is apparently PETA got all bent out of shape over the recent movie where a computer-generated giraffe got decapitated.
You know, this happened...
This is the same thing when our friend Frank Karachi, he did...
It wasn't a huge success.
The zoo movie with the talking animals with Kevin James.
When we went to the premiere...
I still think that Frank Karachi hired people to pretend to be protesting.
But it was all green screen, right?
The ostrich that he's riding was all green screen animals.
And they were protesting like giraffes.
It's always about the giraffe for some reason.
I don't know what that's all about, but maybe it's code.
Whatever the case is, this was an editorial played on WPIX11 about this, and it's as though the woman doing the editorializing is actually on the side of PETA over this relative, this most idiotic of concepts.
So this is tonight's top tweet topic for you on a Friday.
PETA has a problem with animal abuse of any kind, even if the animal isn't real.
So should it be illegal to torture a fake giraffe, or any animal for that matter?
Is it even funny?
Think about it.
There are a lot of other simulated things that are banned.
It's a slippery slope, or is it?
Is PETA being overly sensitive?
Tweet me, I'm at Tamsin Fidel.
Yeah, right.
And the funny thing is...
Is it good or bad, or is it bad or good?
The funny thing is that the giraffe has no natural enemies.
Did you know this?
Except, of course, man, a hunter.
The giraffe can slice you in two, and it can actually rotate its legs 360 degrees, and it literally will knock you in two pieces.
The giraffe has no natural enemy.
Not the tiger, not the leopard, not none of that.
They can kick the crap out of anything.
Well, they got a lot of leverage.
And you know how I found this out?
Did I ever tell you that story?
From the top half of a friend of yours?
I will give you an in the morning for that.
In the morning!
There was a giraffe named after me at the Amsterdam Zoo.
Adam the Giraffe.
Adam the Giraffe.
Yes, sir.
And so, you know, it was like a press thing.
And I was doing the radio show in Holland at the time.
And they're like, you know, there's a press thing for the zoo.
And like, we'll name it Adam and you come and take a look and take some pictures for them.
I'm like, oh, that's kind of cool, you know.
But there's Adam's mom, and I go right into it, because we're hanging out in the cages and everything.
It's outside of zoo hours.
Oh, and you were going to go pet the little guy?
No, no.
Dude, I'm in the cage, and my producer's taking a picture of me, and I'm standing right underneath the baby giraffe's mother, which of course is two stories high.
Like, maybe a foot away from its front legs.
And I look, and I see the producer taking the picture, and I see the zookeepers petrified.
They're like...
Walk very slowly towards us now.
And I'm like, what?
They said, you are about to die.
It's a giraffe!
And then they told me the whole story.
It's like, you do not get in with a giraffe.
As cute as they are, they will kill you.
So that must have been annoying.
This is your producer trying to kill you.
So what else is new?
The curry attempt on curry didn't work.
I want to congratulate Sean Penn for stealing some money back.
You know, I'm always very in tune with Haiti ever since the celebrity scam that George Clooney set up and was still to this day embarrassed about.
All those billions of dollars that did not go to the people who have cholera and are dying and still eating in tents.
So here's...
I'm just going to tell you a little bit.
This is from the Miami Herald, and I think this original story is from...
Or December 13th, 2012, about the new luxury hotel in Haiti.
And I think you call it Petionville.
Petionville?
Petionville, I guess.
And in it here it says, so this new hotel was set up, the International Finance Corporation, in conjunction with the Clinton-Bush-Haiti Fund, which made a $2 million equity investment in the hotel.
That, of course, aided in the creation of 400 construction jobs on site.
Take the credit for that.
Now, what was the problem?
And this is from this week.
The World Bank now had to pay Sean Penn's charity $8.75 million in order to find alternative housing for the 14,000 people still living on the Petty and Ville Hotel golf course.
So Sean Penn has basically is like, hey Penn, dude, listen.
We need you to get those people off the golf course.
The guests are complaining.
And they want to play golf.
So what's it going to take?
What's it going to take, Penn?
Well, I think about eight, nine million dollars would do it.
Okay.
We'll get someone to pay the eight, nine million dollars.
Will you get these people off?
Yeah, okay.
Done.
Deal's done.
And then the guy goes, hey, by the way, how was Madonna in bed?
And that's it.
That's the whole conversation.
It's disgusting.
It's disgusting.
It's just disgusting.
And so these people actually will get houses.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
And so 14,000 people...
He's there a lot, apparently, and he's very irked about a lot of the...
No, I think he's on the right side of this.
I mean, he's like, screw it.
Oh, no, I agree.
I've seen a couple of specials with him, and he's hanging out in the worst part, you know, and he's bitching and moaning about the cholera and the fact that there's no...
where's all the money and the same stuff we're complaining about.
And power to him.
I think he's like, yeah, it's going to be $9 million for me to get these people off and give it to me.
And he's probably going to spend it all on them and get them houses.
But he knows.
He's not going to come out and just say, hey, this is a big scam that's going on.
The hotel guest wanted to play golf.
Because that's not how it's positioned, you see, in the press release.
They don't tell you about the Clinton-Bush-Haiti fund that put $2 million equity investment into the hotel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, I think that should wrap it up.
I think that wraps it up for sure.
We do want to remind you that we do this program with great joy, bringing happiness and rainbows and unicorns to your life.
Woo!
And we do it twice a week, and we've got a lot to talk about on Sunday.
I know, because we didn't get to it today, so we've got some good pre-crime stuff, some elite news, more cyber wars, bullying back on the radar screen, so make sure you check in for that.
And in order to enable us to do all this work, we need your support.
Go to Dvorak.org slash NA. Grab yourself a subscription.
And help us out on a regular basis.
Or just jump in and do what you can.
What do you got for Sunday?
I'm pretty much...
I have nothing.
I got nothing.
Somehow...
I expect...
I am going to sit down.
As soon as the show is over, I'm going down all day, the rest of today and tomorrow, and listen to hearings.
Right on.
On C-SPAN and just listen and listen and then I'm sure I'll have something.
You'll have something.
You're always surprised.
There's a couple of interesting things.
I do have a story out of France about the woman who's named her kid Jihad.
That story's always funny.
And there's a couple of other things.
I've kind of given up on the New York news and I'm moving now.
And now France 24 is screwed up so I'm going to leave them too.
I think I'm going to go to Germany.
No agenda producer update.
Hey, while you're there, see if my bike's around.
Yeah, I will.
No agenda producer update coming up with that DBX giveaway.
Make sure you stay tuned for that.
Coming to you from the corner of SoCo and MoFo, where I'll soon be dancing with Rick Perry in Austin, Texas.