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Jan. 24, 2013 - No Agenda
02:43:06
481: Intelligence Product
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Time Text
It's time to invest in, you know what?
Get food.
Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
It's Thursday, January 24th, 2013.
Time for Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 481.
This is No Agenda.
On the verge of quitting my day job.
Wait a minute, this is my day job.
Coming to you from the capital of the drone star state in Austin, Tejas.
In the morning, everybody.
I'm Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley, with no further ado, I'm John C. DeBoer.
It's Craig Vaughn and Buzzkill.
In the morning.
Yeah, you gotta talk a little bit, because for some reason, the minute you started talking there, you were gone.
I was gone?
Yeah, you were hearable, but I had to pot it all the way down.
I don't know what it is.
You had to plot it down?
Not you.
Not you.
The music.
Oh, the music.
So give me a little talk there, boy.
Yeah, well, whatever.
Hey, I got a good...
We found the clip.
Hey, yeah, whatever.
There you go.
And I think we should play it.
Okay, well, I was twisting the knobs here.
You mean the clip from...
Let's get a little background here.
So one of our producers sent us a note...
Pulling out an Obama clip.
This is from when he announced the executive memoranda on gun legislation.
And we were flabbergasted that we had missed this little gaffe.
It wasn't a gaffe.
It was, you know, people can't, you know, words matter.
They tell the truth whether they like it or not.
And so we dug up the clip.
Adam did, actually, from C-SPAN. C-SPAN, exactly.
So it's not a rigged clip.
I was fearful that it was like some fake clip somebody put together.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it was, because it was just too ridiculous.
It was just too delicious to believe, my darling.
Play it.
Here we go.
This will be difficult.
There will be pundits and politicians and special interest lobbyists publicly warning of a tyrannical all-out assault on liberty.
Not because that's true, but because...
That was right there.
You can stop it right there.
Not because that's true.
Wait a minute.
So he said, if words matter, which they certainly do in our book here, he said that there will be pundits who are talking about an all-out assault, a tyrannical war...
Against the people of the United States.
Not that that's not true.
So did he just say that it's true?
Well, play it again.
I mean, the way I understand it, he just said...
Politicians and special interest lobbyists publicly warning of a tyrannical all-out assault on liberty.
Not because that's true.
I don't know.
It's unbelievable.
He also said, which I think is pretty cool.
And, you know, let me just start off right away.
And, of course, everyone's like, oh, let's talk about Hillary.
No, we're going to talk about Hillary later.
Talk about Hillary later.
Let's talk about the inauguration of our president.
The second term for President Obama.
Now, I didn't see a single news report about his flub.
I was totally with you on this.
I'll play the flub.
I got the flub from C-SPAN, I guess.
Stand and repeat after me.
I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear.
I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear.
That I will faithfully execute.
That I will faithfully execute.
The office of President of the United States.
The office of President of the United States.
And will.
Now, that's a do-over.
I mean, he says state.
He says state and then he shakes his head.
Yeah, the office of the President of the United States.
It's one state now.
He chokes it, and then he blows it, and then he shakes his head.
And I was completely flabbergasted at that.
Not one news outlet picked it up or said anything about it.
I thought it was, like, pretty funny.
I don't think it's funny.
I think it's...
The expression he made was like, oh...
But at the same time...
You know what my theory is?
Go ahead.
He stopped himself because he was going to say, United Nations.
Yeah.
Let's listen again to the videotape.
The office of President of the United States.
The office of President of the United States.
And will...
No, I don't think he was going to say nations.
It's my theory.
I like the idea.
United S. United, what could it be?
United Citizens?
United S. United S. But he wants...
The office of the President of the United...
Suckers!
But I feel it was a do-over.
I really do.
They should have done a third ceremony.
Yeah, well, Roberts obviously wasn't paying any attention.
And he should have stopped him and made him say it, because the oath is the oath.
You know, you can't leave a word out like that.
Well, and he wound up not leaving a word out, but leaving at least 49 states out, because he's only saying it for one state.
And will, to the best of my ability...
Hold on, let me go back a minute.
Here we go.
I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States and will...
Come on!
That is not official.
They should have gone right down back to the Blue Room and done another one.
Don't you think?
I was amazed by the fact that nobody...
My amazement was not that he did that made the blob.
It was that nobody even made a joke about it.
No one said anything.
Now, here's what the news media was doing.
This is Al Roker of NBC.
Now, you'll hear the dudes talking, but Al Roker is in the background screaming as the president and the first lady are walking down the street.
Between those who built America and those who are going to build America.
How's it going?
I mean, in other words, those who are Medicare and those who are our children.
In other words, we should be lifting up.
Is that guy an idiot or what?
He's just yelling.
Is he trying to get his underwear back?
What is the deal?
And then Joe Biden comes by, and he's yelling at Joe Biden, and then Joe Biden finally comes over to shake Al Roker's hand, and Al Roker poops himself right there.
Both of those groups suck.
We're just going to go to our correspondent Al Roker, who I believe is yelling like an idiot.
Yeah.
Which brings in all kinds of people.
So I think you've got opportunities for him to bring up topics for the winners for him to be one of better.
But he also has, I think, a deep sea of oppositions in New York.
This is what your press is doing.
I'm sorry.
This is our press at work.
Let's switch over to CNN. Here's Wolf Blitzer.
He's not quite here yet.
He's not going to hear me.
We'll try, though.
It's very, very noisy over here.
You can imagine why.
Mr.
President.
Wolf Blitzer's literally going, hey, Mr.
President.
You think they're on the red carpet?
The guy's going to come wandering over and do an interview?
Yeah, exactly.
He's like Ryan Seacrest.
Hey, Mr.
President.
Hey, how you doing?
Hey, how you doing?
The President is in the middle of thousands of people yelling, and Wolf Blitzer's going, hey, hey, hey.
Let's see.
Hey.
How's it going?
Let's see if I stand up.
Oh, yeah, stand up.
He'll recognize your massive frame.
What was he doing?
Sitting?
Yeah.
Mr.
President.
Mr.
President.
How you doing?
What is this?
How you doing?
This is literally like Angelina Jolie.
Hey, how you doing?
Hey, come on over for E. Talk to us for a second.
Who are you wearing?
Because you don't say, what are you wearing?
You say, who are you wearing?
I'm wearing a...
Yeah, who are you wearing?
I'm wearing a vintage Valentino.
Hey, Mr.
President.
Hey!
Clearly, Wolf is stoned.
Let's see.
Mrs.
Obama.
Mrs.
Obama!
This dude is totally baked.
So I had dinner on, when was Inauguration Day?
Was it Friday?
No.
It was Monday.
Monday?
No.
What day are we now?
No, the first one was Sunday.
No, the first one was Sunday.
Yeah, the first one.
That's the one that was private.
Right.
But then we had dinner on Monday night with a couple of friends in Austin.
There's a new restaurant that opened called Sway.
We haven't seen you guys in so long.
Come on down.
These friends of ours are massive Obama bots.
I'm usually very quiet at these dinners because it's hard for me to take.
Yeah, because you're going to get kicked in the shins by...
Oh, yeah.
So, Mickey drove and I got drunk before we went in.
And we're talking about the inauguration.
You had a drink.
Yeah, of course.
I had a drink.
I had a drink.
I was like, I long to death.
And I said, well, did you see the inauguration?
And she says, oh, and I have to tell you...
I saw the motorcade slowing down.
I was like, oh no!
Oh my god!
He's not, oh no, they're going to get out!
Oh, my heart is stopping!
Oh, I was so afraid he was going to be assassinated!
And I'm like, are you okay?
Are you insane?
And then her husband goes, hey, hey, there are elements in this society who are insane and they're out to kill him!
I was like, oh my god, give me some pad thai.
Quickly, I need to drown my sorrow.
It was so amazing.
I mean, I've heard a lot of things, but she was physically shaking.
She really, really believed that it was so incredibly dangerous for the president to get out of the motorcade because there's all these people that want to kill him.
Oh, brother.
Right?
I mean, that was, that was, whoa!
I was like, oh my goodness.
Now, I'd like to say something about this inauguration.
I would like to make, I'd like to put a stake in the ground right now that no longer do I want, as representative of the white American James Taylor doing this.
I'm tired of like, we gotta get a white dude up there, and it's always James Taylor.
You know, it's like, white people think he's uncool, okay?
It's like, please!
He's never been cool.
No, I wouldn't say that.
Did you ever see him in the Adam Sandler movie where Adam Sandler is...
No.
Anyway, so James Taylor is performing a concert at MySpace when MySpace was still huge and Facebook was up and coming.
And so he's in this movie and he's playing songs and of course the MySpace, you know, imagine it's kind of the MySpace employees then were like Facebook now.
They're all happy and like, woo, we're at a cool company.
So I assume the movie was produced by Fox.
Go on.
Yeah.
And no, I think this was before it was purchased.
And James Taylor's playing and then, you know, and he has a lot of dialogue in the movie and he's on stage like, hey, fuck Facebook, fuck Facebook.
It was kind of funny.
I mean, definitely.
That would have to be after they were bought.
Go on.
Facebook was really not even a competitor until after Murdoch bought the...
The chat room would probably know which movie that was.
But anyway, James Taylor is just, you know, he's a great singer and he's got some great songs, but you know, you get this, it's like, here he comes.
And by the way, he did a nice version, you know, it was okay.
But it's just like, I just hear this in the background, like, oh no, no, no, not him.
You might as well get Cat Stevens.
Having to do mourning is broken.
They won't let him in the country.
Oh, wait a minute, John!
Oh, no!
Sorry, we got some breaking news coming in.
Breaking news!
Breaking news!
And Beyonce and the lip-sync scandal.
The lip-sync scandal!
This is what our news is, ladies and gentlemen.
We need to go to our correspondent about the lip sync signal.
Well, it's being called definitive information now being learned by Jim Acosta.
Jim, what are you learning?
What are you learning?
What are you learning?
This is a great...
Hold on a second.
Let's stop right here.
I know.
We have to do this when we do our own fake reports.
We have to do this now.
This is what are you learning business.
What are you learning?
What are you learning?
Most of these stage performers are lip-sinkers nowadays.
It's been going on for a while because there's a lot of dancing and there's a lot of moving around.
You can't really, you know, the sound, it's impossible to do it any other way.
I mean, some people can't, but most people just can't.
I will say, I am a fan of the Beyonce voice.
I think she's very, I think she has a fantastic voice.
This was, of course, a recording of her, and I think, I mean, I was watching this, I'm like, I hate her, what she stands for with Jay-Z, that whole elitist Illuminati crap, I really don't like it, but man, she turned the Star Spangled Banner into something really, really beautiful.
It was beautiful, and I couldn't tell watching it, because I was looking for it.
No, they had good lip-syncers.
But here's what gets me.
Now, we know that a lot of these people are doing lip-sync.
In fact, Ashley Simpson was actually busted on the Saturday Night Live show because something went wrong with the recording or they played the wrong song or something.
Somebody disliked her.
This is what happens when you piss off the crew, by the way.
It killed Milli Vanilli's career, John.
That's what I'm going to bring up.
It literally killed Milli Vanilli.
Let's stop.
They had their Grammys yanked from them.
Yeah.
For doing this.
But it's been going on forever from way...
I mean, it was done with Jan and Dean because one guy, you know, got brain damage.
I mean, this is not a new thing.
So why is this...
Who gives a crap?
Well, I don't know.
Let's see what we're learning.
Wolf, we can tell you that an inaugural official who asked not to be identified told me just a short time ago that pop star Beyonce lip-synced her performance on Inauguration Day, saying, quote, she did not sing live.
That official told CNN, a pre-recording of the artist's rendition of the national anthem was played instead, so what was heard by spectators and viewers was the sound of that recording, according to this official name.
You know, so first of all, oh, big surprise, there was something fake on television.
Woo!
Boy, that surprised me right there.
Stop depressing.
Woo!
My goodness.
But second of all, that is the news.
You know, so we have the same people are going like, Mr.
President!
Mr.
President!
How you doing?
How's Beyonce doing?
Hey, is Jay-Z sitting next to you?
Huh?
Huh?
It was so incredibly bad.
I did pick up something kind of nice here.
Oh, here it is.
Since people are always asking for food talk on the show, I figured we'd listen to the menu for the inaugural lunch.
Did you catch any of this, what they were eating?
No, I missed it.
Completely.
So why don't we...
We get these pictures.
This is Rachel Maddow, by the way, who, of course, is so journalistic.
Here's Rachel explaining to us and giving us the rundown.
And we see the menu full screen.
But then beyond this, it is a closed press event, which we do not get to cover.
A closed press event, which naturally has really good food.
Hold on, stop, stop, stop.
She's invited to all this stuff.
Oh, yeah.
She's full of crap.
But she can't cover it.
She can't report on it.
Yeah, yeah.
This is one of those deals.
I reported on that.
Microsoft used to pull this stunt with a bunch of reporters.
They'd invite them.
It's like you're a reporter, and you can't report on this thing.
Now, what kind of a reporter are you that it's a closed event for us special people, but we can't report on it?
Really?
Yeah.
What is this?
What's wrong with this picture?
It's called fascism.
That's how it works.
Come on.
It's pretty obvious.
Dressed with a New England clam chowder sauce.
So lobster with New England clam chowder sauce.
That's lobster and chowder together.
And by the way, this is great for, you know, slaves.
You know, just to see what the elites are eating today.
Served on saucéed spinach with sweet potato hay.
Hey!
Oh boy, let's gay it up, shall we?
Hey!
Sweet potato, hey!
The wine with that, a Finger Lakes Dry Riesling.
Finger Lakes Dry Riesling.
Would you serve that, John, at your inauguration?
Well, you know, he's trying to serve American wine, so Finger Lakes Dry Riesling, I suppose, is as good as anything.
He's making them drink New York wines.
Oh, what do you mean making them?
Chuck Schumer!
You have just been deported from New York.
There you go.
Enjoy Jersey.
The main course will be hickory grilled bison with wild huckleberry reductions.
That sounds good.
It does sound good.
The bison...
Like, wow, I want to try and make that tonight.
Strawberry preserve and red cabbage, red potato horseradish cake, and baby golden beets, and green beans, and butternut squash puree.
Get your vegetables.
The wine for the main course for everybody except Chris Hayes is a Long Island Merlot.
See, Chris Hayes, they're even joking now that they're going to be eating there.
Now, I would not have served a Long Island Merlot.
So, obviously, that's...
But anyway, the...
What?
Is that hoity-toity?
Is that so wrong?
The Long Island Merlot, John?
This can't be good.
What was that?
Red potato horseradish cake?
What was that?
I don't know.
It doesn't sound good.
No, it sounds like garnish that just is there that you don't touch.
I like the bison, but I don't want to touch the garnish stuff.
I think we go through the dessert here.
A meal right there.
He's got a whole lot of beef there.
He's almost vegetarian now.
For dessert, there is Hudson Valley apple pie.
Hudson Valley apple pie with sour cream, ice cream, and maple caramel sauce.
There are also aged cheeses and honeycomb from a cheese company in upstate New York.
Noticing a theme.
The sparkling wine will be from California to wash it all down.
Corbell made something very fancy for the occasion.
They made some wine for the occasion.
Who's this?
She didn't say.
This is some sparkling wine from upstate New York.
It was probably on screen, but I didn't catch it.
Oh, it was from California, the wine was the sparkling wine.
Right, right.
Who cares?
Now, this is essentially just insulting the listener.
Oh, yeah.
What?
Our listeners?
No, no.
This is insulting.
They're just going on and on about how special they are because they're going to have this fantastic meal.
Exactly.
Even though it's still...
You know, we have to stop for a second and realize this is still a huge dinner with probably hundreds of people.
Yeah.
I guess it was with the press.
The press cares what they eat.
You might as well serve them burgers.
But that's okay.
We got the press eating fancy food.
And it's probably still...
I still can't believe it's not that kind of convention food.
Rubber chicken?
You can't quite make this much of a good product.
Well, did you see Our First Lady?
Because they did have a pool video, kind of a top shot, when they were all eating.
And she reminded me, I'll never forget, when I had dinner with Tina Turner, Annie Mae Bullock, I should say, from the South there.
And she reminded me of how Tina Turner was eating.
She's just shoveling.
She was shoveling, John.
And I'm very critical of table manners, as you know.
Oh, yeah.
You're always criticizing me the way I hold my left fork when I'm trying to cut to a piece of tough meat.
This is Emily Post.
I was raised with etiquette at the dinner table.
And she was shoveling.
My mom would have said, hey, stop shoveling.
That's just not okay.
She's just chowing down like this is the best stuff she's ever had.
This has got to be every night.
How can she even stay?
I'm surprised she hasn't really totally chubbed out.
She looked pretty good in that dress.
She has to exercise a lot.
I take back the hairdo.
Oh my God, it looked horrible.
Her hair was weird.
Anyway, so you and I had a little conversation.
I was yelling and bitching before the show.
We actually have a similar clip and you had it listed as end of show clip.
And I wanted to roll into it, but first I wanted to explain where I came from, where I was thinking about this.
We know that the President swore his oath to the United States Nations Union of America on Martin Luther King's Bible.
And I, at that moment, now, this is kind of things that we're trained to do here at the No Agenda Show, best podcast in the universe, is not just take it face value.
If I say to anyone on the street, Martin Luther King, I had a dream!
And he fought segregation and racial discrimination.
And I'm a little bit older than most people who get interviewed on the street for television.
And I know that there was a lot more to Martin Luther King.
So I went back and I was looking around and I tried to avoid the I Have a Dream speech.
And as I'm reading through all the things he's done, I'm like, it's really quite bold of the president on Martin Luther King Day, I might add, which was Monday, his inauguration for him being Obama too.
And to have his hand on Martin Luther King's Bible, it's rather bold for a stoner from Hawaii.
You know what I mean?
It's like, wow!
I mean, seriously?
And then I start to look into this, and I read that...
I've got to adjust my glasses here.
I read that he signs a proclamation on the day of, and he declared that day the National Day of Hope and Resolve.
And I'm like, this is a little bit irritating.
He's a stoner from Hawaii, which he admits.
And then he was a community organizer, a constitutional law professor, or intern, whatever.
But he's not Martin Luther King.
You know, it's just not.
And then I decided to pull a clip from a speech that I always found to be very inspiring by Martin Luther King.
Just a short minute and a half of the drum major instinct.
Are you familiar with this speech by the good Dr.
John?
I may have heard it.
Am I familiar with it?
No.
Okay, well, it's very, very...
Here's the piece that I find applicable to this conversation.
And they were saying, now, when you establish your kingdom, let one of us sit on the right hand and the other on the left hand of your throne.
Now very quickly, we would automatically condemn James and John, and we would say they were selfish.
Why would they make Such a selfish request.
But before we condemn them too quickly, let us look calmly and honestly at ourselves, and we will discover that we too have those same basic desires for recognition,
for importance, That same desire for attention, that same desire to be first.
Of course, the other disciples got mad with James and John, and you could understand why, but we must understand that we have some of the same James and John qualities.
And that is deep down within all of us an instinct.
It's a kind of drum major instinct, a desire to be out front.
A desire to lead the parade.
A desire to be first.
So this entire speech, which is, I think, one of his better speeches, is literally saying, be careful, because when we reach the mountaintop, don't become the drum major and don't think that you can then be better at leading the parade.
And as I'm Googling around, you know that they unveiled that statue of Martin Luther King in Washington, D.C.? Oh, that horrible-looking statue?
Yeah.
Turns out they are scrubbing off the right-hand side.
It actually, there's an inscription.
It has a quote that they're getting rid of.
I was a drum major for justice, peace, and righteousness.
And, you know, so this relates directly back to this speech, which you should read or listen to the speech in its entirety.
So they're trying to take this away, where he was really saying, hey, when we get there, be very careful what you do.
And it struck me, you know, it's like, wow, you know, this is the Martin Luther King who did a lot more than just, you know, just fight for racial inequality.
And this is where, and I won't play the whole clip, John, because you're right, we can play the whole clip as an end-of-show clip, but this is Cornel West, who you and I both think is kind of kooky.
You know, he has kind of like the Don King hair, but he's a...
Yeah, and we should mention that he's been floating around the country as a...
Kind of a two-man comedy act with Tavis Smiley.
And they have been very critical of Obama.
And in this clip, he just...
Even though he backs off at the very end, he kind of chickens out at some point.
So I still voted for him.
He'd be better than Romney.
Yeah.
But for the most part, he's trying to make a point here, even though, again, you know, nobody really wants to bite the bullet and just say that.
I mean, it reminds me that I don't have the clip for today.
I couldn't find it in my list, but somewhere.
I think I mistakenly left it out.
But where Rand Paul laces into Hillary and says she should have been fired.
And everybody, right wing, left wing, everybody in between, condemns him.
Yeah.
Anyway, but yeah, go on.
Here's Cornel West.
But no.
By the way, I only got it on C-SPAN.
Did you see it anywhere else this clip?
Did you get it from somewhere?
Yeah, I didn't get it from C-SPAN.
I got it from someplace else, and I can't remember where.
When I got the news that my dear brother Barack Obama, President Obama, was going to put his precious hand on Martin Luther King Jr.'s Bible.
I love how he says, his precious hand.
And by the way, the thing that's great about this is, in a public forum, this is a black man.
Because only a black man can say these things.
If a white man said what you're about to hear, he would be a racist, moon landing denier, Holocaust denier, Republican, whatever.
I got upset.
And I got upset because...
You don't play with Martin Luther King Jr., and you don't play with his people.
And by his people, what I mean is people of good conscience, fundamentally committed to peace and truth and justice, and especially the black tradition that produced him.
All the blood, sweat, and tears that went into producing a Martin Luther King Jr.
generated a brother of such high decency and dignity that you don't use his prophetic fire as just a moment in the presidential pageantry without understanding the challenge that he presents to all of those in power no matter what color they are.
So that's Cornell basically saying, hey man, Obama's a stoner from Hawaii, okay?
No matter what color they are.
So he also loved the drone thing and the murderous aspect of the sub-president.
It's coming up.
It's coming up.
And he also says he's a war criminal.
The issue of a Martin Luther King Jr.
becomes a moment in political calculation.
And that makes my blood boil.
Why?
Because Martin Luther King Jr., he died.
Owing to three crimes against humanity he was wrestling with.
Jim Crow.
Traumatizing, terrorizing, stigmatizing black people.
Lynching and so forth.
Not just segregation the way the press likes to talk about.
I love that too.
Segregation.
No, no, no.
They were killing black people.
Right on, Cornell.
Cornell.
Second, carpet bombing in Vietnam, killing innocent people, especially innocent children.
Those are war crimes Martin Luther King Jr.
was willing to die for.
Yeah, they don't talk about that ever.
Now, do you remember Martin Luther King, don't you, I think?
Never met him.
But did you witness, you were young at the time, but do you remember any of what was going on?
Yeah, of course everybody did.
Well, I didn't.
But do you remember him being anti-Vietnam, anti-war?
Yeah, that's why they killed him.
And thirdly was poverty.
I love you, man.
Of all colors.
He said it's a crime against humanity.
Really?
Is that why they killed him?
Because he was anti-Vietnam?
I think it was one of the variables that they decided he had to go.
He's a troublemaker.
We had a lot of black soldiers.
He didn't need some guy like that floating around bitching and moaning.
It's Jim C. Dvorak, everybody.
For the richest nation in the history of the world.
Jim Crow Devorah.
Wow.
They have so many of his precious children of all colors and living in poverty, and especially on the chocolate side of the nations, on Indian reservations and brown barrios and yellow slices and black ghettos then.
We call them hoods now, but ghettos then.
So I said to myself, Okay, there's nothing wrong with putting a hand on the Bible, even though the Bible's talking about justice, and Jesus is talking about the least of these.
But when you put it Martin's Bible...
I love it.
Martin's Bible.
We've got to learn to talk like that, John.
That's great.
But a Martin's Bible, that's when it's not right.
I said this is personal for me, because this is a tradition that I come out of.
This is a tradition that's connected to my grandmother's prayers and my grandfather's sermons and my mother's tears and my father's smile.
Now wait for it, people, because here comes the rant of all rants.
And it's over against all of those in power who refuse to follow decent policies.
So I say to myself, Brother Martin Luther King Jr., what would you say about the new Jim Crow?
What would you say about the prison industrial complex?
What would you say about the invisibility of so many of our prisoners, so many of our incarcerated, especially when 62% of them are there for soft drugs, but not one executive of a Wall Street bank going to jail.
Not one!
Martin doesn't like that.
Not one wiretapper.
I love that.
Not one wiretapper.
You know what?
I got the kick out of this thing.
I don't know if you want to keep playing.
I just want to do the drones, then we'll talk.
It's coming right up now.
Not one torture under the Bush administration.
At all.
Then what'd you say about the drones being dropped on our precious brothers and sisters in Pakistan?
Yeah!
Exactly.
Drones being dropped.
Yeah, he also calls them a war criminal.
Yeah.
But the guy who's getting the biggest kick out of this, this was a large group of...
Is Newt Gingrich.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Newt is there just smiling and he's kind of laughing to himself.
Yeah.
I love that.
You and I have seen this, of course, and you've got to put some stuff into perspective, though.
Not everyone is watching this stuff.
Not everyone watches C-SPAN or gets this.
But this is real perspective.
And I'm happy that Cornell is out there saying that.
Not anyone gives a crap.
Yeah, and he'll probably end up on O'Reilly.
He'll be on the right-wing shows for a little while.
Did you hear that Dennis Kucinich got a gig on Fox?
Sorry?
Dennis Kucinich, the Democratic...
He did?
Yeah, he's got a gig on Fox!
Oh, he's got the personality to carry a show.
But it's funny that he got the gig on Fox, which we always said has been run by Democrats.
And now they're actually putting Democrats in just to make it crazier.
So just to wind up this inauguration, so you know that what was different this year is the inauguration committee decided it was okay to take donations from corporate sponsors.
And all those people there, they were...
Evil corporate sponsors.
Yes, they were bussed in.
I have all of these links.
These were basically free bus trips.
They bussed everybody in from all over the country.
Did they make him wear the same thing?
Because if you looked at it on this large audience, it was all one color.
What does that mean?
Is that a racist joke?
No, no.
I'm talking about color.
It was like red or purple or something.
It's not a racist joke.
Didn't you look at this thing?
Yeah.
There's this huge crowd that goes all the way to the Washington Monument and they all have, like, it's like a college color.
It's like watching a football game where everyone's wearing the same colors of the college.
Didn't you notice this?
Yeah, well, it just looked all like everyone's wearing dark colors.
That's not normal.
No, because they were all bussed in, and it was staged, as usual.
And this is what I love.
Did you hear about that?
Let's back up a second.
If that was staged, who cares about Beyonce lip-syncing, then?
These guys have got to get their act together.
They're either staging everything, or, I mean, I don't see how the news media can bitch about Beyonce, or they'd look at this huge...
Well, the news media's not bitching about Beyonce.
That's just to distract idiots.
Yeah, whatever.
Yeah.
But what I liked is that they had this overflow area, because the mall was completely full, so they had an overflow area where thousands of people were watching a jumbotron.
And it was a telescreen, let's put it that way.
And so their leader was on the telescreen, but then the thing blew up.
And it, you know, I think someone was messing with it, actually.
You know, I don't have any clip of it or anything of it.
But, you know, during the speech, it just went haywire.
And then thousands of people started walking the other way.
They're like, oh, must see leader, must see speech by leader, telescreen not working.
And then they got pushed back, like, oh, that is bad.
It was total 1984.
I cannot see leader on screen.
Hey, let's...
What was in that speech?
There was nothing.
It was the most vapid...
Inaugural speech I have ever heard in my life.
I couldn't get a clip out of it.
I couldn't find some crazy little commentary.
It was just boring.
Did I miss something?
Was he so boring that there was a gem in there that we missed?
Well, you know, the climate change thing.
That was about it.
Oh, big deal.
Yeah.
Like, I'm going after climate change.
Yeah, that was about it.
That was about it.
He lost that good speech, right, obviously.
I mean, this speech was just dull.
No, the guy went to Hollywood.
He's doing a show.
Remember, he left?
Yeah.
To go write TV shows?
Yeah.
No, but I felt there was, you know, again, there was a whole bunch of Martin Luther King references.
If anything, it kind of annoys me.
It was bad.
By the way, I think that kid's already doing the TV shows because I have a clip.
Okay.
From Two Broke Girls, which shows you how bad today's sitcoms are.
Okay.
Gee.
Max, I just hung up from a very panicked phone call, and you'll never believe what happened.
The guy from the record store called to say I have super gonorrhea.
You actually think a guy that you don't even remember called to tell me that you have super gonorrhea.
Yes, that's how tired I am.
Are you going to make me wait forever?
Do I have it or not?
It's not super gonorrhea, but it is super bad news.
This woman just called to confirm her order for a thousand cupcakes for tomorrow.
I've been so tired, I completely forgot.
I'd rather have super gonorrhea.
Are you insane?
We can't do a thousand cupcakes by tomorrow.
We have to do it.
It'll ruin our reputation if we don't.
Wow, man.
And the laugh track just blows me away.
The laugh track is the absolute worst.
By the way, it's got some very modern elements.
I have to say the laugh track is not an old-fashioned one.
But it's still a laugh track.
It sucks.
No one's going to think this is funny.
And what is this super gonorrhea meme that they pound on this show, you know?
Did you look it up?
Well, I know what super gonorrhea is.
What's the difference between regular gonorrhea?
It's the one they can't cure.
Super gonorrhea, Mr.
Super gonorrhea.
Super gonorrhea.
Really?
You can't cure it?
No, this is a notorious gonorrhea that if you get it, you're totally closed.
Dude!
January 9th, 2013.
Super strain of drug-resistant gonorrhea concerns U.S. officials.
Oh!
Oh my goodness!
It looks like we have a vaccine for it!
Cefixime.
Cefixime.
That's funny.
Cefixime.
Hey, I got some supra gonorrhea.
Can you use Cefixime?
C-E-F-I-X-I-M-E. Cefixime.
Oh, it's an antibiotic used to treat bacterial infections.
Has shown to be ineffective against 7% of gonorrhea cases.
This is the supra gonorrhea.
So they're right on the ball.
It's amazing how a show that is written and produced months in advance can be so timed with the news that breaks.
How does that work?
It's part of the something.
I can't believe that you didn't find all these news reports about the super gonorrhea.
I already knew about super gonorrhea.
It's been in the news.
I thought you knew about it.
I'm just stunned.
I'm stunned that you don't know all about it.
I have one partner.
I don't have to worry about things like this.
Here, newyorkmagazine.com.
Super gonorrhea here to ruin blowjobs forever.
Wow.
It doesn't say that.
It says that, literally.
Literally.
What?
Yeah, it says...
What, New York Magazine?
Yeah.
And it says, NYMag.com, written by Kat Stoffel, super gonorrhea here to ruin blowjobs forever.
In the hierarchy of sexually transmitted diseases, one tends to privilege the forever diseases like HPV and herpes and not think so much about chlamydia and gonorrhea.
They're unpleasant to be sure, but nothing a strong course of antibiotics can't clear up.
And it goes on.
Super gonorrhea is going to ruin blowjobs forever.
it even ends Saliva contains enzymes that destroy gonorrhea, so kissing and cunnilingus don't spread it.
Nice!
Well, that's good news.
Basically, screw you guys and women get all the pleasure.
Is that what I'm reading here?
I don't know what you're reading.
New York Magazine!
Well, now you know.
I'm glad you caught up.
Well, in the morning to you, too, John C. Dvorak.
In the morning to you, Adam Curry.
In the morning to all the ships at sea.
Boots on the ground, subs in the water, feet in the air, and all the knights and dames out there.
Yeah, thank you very much to our artist.
Joe the Dish Slave checked in with our previous album, Art, episode 480, with Mokhtar Belmokhtar.
It was great.
The cigarette, the Mr.
Marlboro Man.
And, by the way, we're...
We're working on a script with our producers who write scripts, right?
This producer of ours?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so he's going to write the script so we can get it optioned and sell it and make a bundle.
As usual, another one of our schemes to make a bundle.
I'd also like to thank all of the human resources in the chatroom, noagentastream.com, noagentachat.net, always there to hand me a line or find out that the Adam Sandler movie was funny, people.
So, that's appreciated.
And this is a value-for-value proposition.
We do it all week long, and twice a week we bring it to you, to the masses, to the tens of thousands of you, and you support us with your donations.
It looks like the knights checked in to help us out.
As usual, whenever things are down, you can always count on the knights.
Okay.
Yeah, no, they come through, I have to say.
Are you opening the spreadsheet?
Is that what this delay is about?
No, no, no, because I'm not doing that.
Funny People came out in 2009.
News Corp bought MySpace in 2005.
You're right.
You are correct, sir.
I was wrong.
I freely admit it.
So it was a scam.
Yeah, but James Taylor was still funny in it.
Well, I guess.
I didn't see the movie in...
Anything that says funny, people, it's like the clip.
You know, I've got a couple of these clips, by the way.
Well, are we going to thank our producers?
That's what I'm waiting for.
Oh, yeah.
Do you want us to actually do the thanking the producers now?
Because we usually do this kind of...
We've been 45 minutes.
Do you think it's time for the opening credits of the show?
Because you'd think it would be, you know, normally we say...
Okay, I got it up.
I just said in the morning, John C. Dvorak.
Spitzer.
We want to thank our executive producers and the social executive producers.
Buzz you.
Yeah, buzz you.
Sir Spitzer in Jamaica Plains, Massachusetts Nuts.
Came with 481 for show 481.
Good for him.
He helped push us out of the doldrums because we sent out a plea, a little newsletter that was complaining.
He's going for his third knighthood, which he managed, I guess.
But he says, I selected to show 481 after a thorough investigation of the number 481 found that it has no mathematical, numerological, historical, mythological, or main significance whatsoever.
It's a lame number, basically.
Lame number, yes.
It's the lame number theory.
So he doesn't think it's a coincidence.
It's very anonymity must be evidence of its incredibly powerful occult significance.
So hidden that no one knows what it means.
Thank you, Sir Jim.
Fantastic.
The sole club for the 481 club member.
Yeah, well...
Highly appreciated.
It means something.
Sir Dwayne Melanson from Tigard, Oregon...
Which I would prefer to say Tiggered.
33333, ITM, JCD, and ACC. Please give me an In the Morning and keep up the good work.
I don't know why donations are down.
You've been doing great work on both halves of the show, by the way.
I heard that if you don't donate, your imaginary girlfriend is twice as likely to die.
Fact!
Science!
In the morning!
Science!
Thank you, Sir Melanson.
Brownsville, Texas, anonymous donor with 33333, anonymous donor from parts unknown.
No, it says Brownsville, Texas.
Oh, well, a couple of months ago, I asked for job karma with a particular job in mind and ended up getting that job.
I'm led to believe it was thanks to the no agenda karma that I got the job.
Why?
Because on my first pay stub, my employee number was...
Three, three, three.
I so believe it.
Of course, that's karma talking to you, my friend, saying, hey, here you go.
Here you go.
Pay stubs have changed recently and now no longer show an employee number.
This is obviously a sign that my karma has run out and it's time to cough up.
This is a temp gig ending soon, so running out of karma now is no good.
So one, an anonymous executive producer is dumb.
Give the credit to a producer of your choosing.
Okay.
Two, I heard cow fart is the cause of global warming, so I'd like a climate gate detective poopy Dr.
Kiki Jingle.
Second single said, if magic number 33 and super job karma, I'm hoping for a full-time offer or a new gig next donation.
I'm not writing a note.
I'm going to see if I can put all this together for him here.
Shut up already!
Science!
To the gate, to the gate, to the gate, to the gate.
Detective Dookie.
Detective Dookie.
Poop Police.
SPU. Special Poop Police.
I'm not quite sure what that was, but...
Hans Schulz in Rostock.
Rostock!
Get my nation Deutschland?
Deutschland.
21260.
Now check this out.
This is a great note here.
Thanks to Adam.
Yeah, because it says thanks to Adam.
Yeah, of course.
Thanks to Adam for this show.
Schiphol.
Wireless password.
Time to become a knight, Value for Value, and he's got his accounting.
Where's the rest of the note?
No, but that's the note.
It's because, so he basically is value for value.
I think he had a big layover at Schiphol Airport, and he got the No Agenda Wireless Network, and he's like, hey, this is a cool community.
I need to up the ante.
Yeah, well, if you're in that airport, you can sit there and just surf the net to your heart's content.
That's right.
Thanks again to our techno expert for setting that up.
Sean Connolly, Sir Sean, to you in Naperville, Illinois, 200.
Angus and Johan, thanks for the best podcast in the universe.
Can I get a two delicious, don't eat me, shut up already for my next ringtone?
Now, does two delicious go first?
That's what he says.
Okay, well, then we'll do it that way.
It's almost too delicious to believe, my friend.
Don't eat me, Hillary Clinton!
Oh, crap.
Hold on a second.
I screwed that up.
He wants the whole thing with Dr.
Kiki.
My mistake.
Hold on.
Let me do it again.
It'll be worth it.
And does that have to be karma or is it just those three?
No, just because he wants it for a ringtone.
Okay.
All right.
Here we go.
Ringtones ready and here we go.
It's almost too delicious to believe, my friend.
Don't eat me, Hillary Clinton!
Shut up already!
Science!
Interesting.
That's going to be some ringtone.
Yeah, I say.
People will be looking at you.
Yeah.
Sanford Staub in Kuskia, Idaho, 200 without comment.
Austin Voss?
Sir Austin in Calgary, 200.
This is the Knights, man.
It's like, hey, people aren't pulling their weight.
The Knights jump in.
I really appreciate that.
That's a very awesome Knightage.
Yes, the Nightish does the show.
It's their show.
I also want to thank Todd McGreevy.
He gets the PR Associate of the Week.
Now, we don't really encourage his behavior anymore, but I had to mention the fact that he is forwarding the domain name slavescanner.com to noagendershow.com, which I think is very appropriate.
It's a good one to remember, slavescanner.com.
Hey, what's the name of that show you're always listening to in the car?
Oh, that's at slavescanner.com.
Slave scanner.
Cool, man.
Thanks.
I'll be sure to get right on it.
Anyway, I want to remind people, we've got another show coming up on Sunday.
We can continue to support as necessary.
Dvorak.org slash nachanneldvorak.com slash nanogendashow.com has the link, and so does noagendanation.com.
We can also buy a mug.
I've got to thank Eric.
So he sent over a big box, and I love it when big boxes are waiting for me at the front door when I come home.
And so in the box was all these things I had to sign.
I guess you signed a whole bunch of things too, autographs, like stuff he was sending out?
Yeah, I guess.
So Eric's so efficient, he sends the stuff to sign and includes a Sharpie.
Just in case you don't have a Sharpie, dumbo.
But he gave me my Christmas gift.
Did you get a Christmas gift from Eric the Shill?
No, what did he get?
You didn't get a Christmas gift?
No.
What do you mean, no?
Why do you say it like that?
Did you give him a Christmas gift?
He always gets a gift.
What did he send you?
He sent me the Merck Index.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We'd see.
Yeah, I know.
What's his copyright date on that thing?
Hold on.
It's big.
It's the hardcover.
It's fantastic.
Yeah, no, they're all hardcover.
I don't know that they've ever released a softcover.
On the inside...
Well, let's see.
Uh...
Where would it say?
2006.
It's a 2006?
Yeah?
Is that old?
No, that's pretty new.
Yeah?
That's a good one.
It's amazing.
Everything is in there you ever need to know.
Just look it up.
Look stuff up.
This will kill you if you do this.
Okay.
It's mostly to tell you what's good.
Chemists use them as like the thing.
To my point, is this dangerous?
Okay, let's just go to a random page.
Iodoxybenzoic acid.
And where's the part where it says whether it'll kill you or not?
It'll be right at the end of the description.
At the end of the blurb?
Let's see.
Mild, chemoselective, environmentally friendly, oxidizing agent.
Oh, we can ingest that.
That's no problem.
Yeah, you can have a spoon.
Spoonful.
Foladrine.
Foladrine.
Sounds good.
Foladrine.
And folate.
Will folate kill me?
I don't know.
It's cool.
And it has all the little diagrams.
There's little, like, beehives.
Beehives.
I don't know what that you're talking about, but okay.
Every single one has a little drawing.
It's like a beehive, and it tells you what it is.
Like OHCH214. That's kind of the construction of the molecule.
Yeah, of the molecule.
Yeah, beehives.
That's what it looks like.
It looks like beehives.
But it's great.
It has the indents for your finger to go in.
Yeah, you need this book more than anyone.
Yeah, it's a beautiful book.
And I'd like to mention that one of our knights...
Has also published a book, and I think it's my fault.
Sir Andrew Lemesany has published a book called The End of Marvelous.
He sent a copy to me.
I think we met him on the Hot Pockets tour.
I'm thinking Colorado Springs.
And he was like, I'm looking for a publisher and it sucks.
And I'm like, dude, just self-publish it.
He's like, no, I'm not going to do that.
So, okay, well, good luck then with your book.
And he self-published it.
Yeah, it's no big deal anymore.
No, but it's...
I mean, he wrote a book.
Come on, that's a big deal.
People do that, you know.
They write books.
Oh, yeah, but this guy, John, actually released the book.
Oh!
I never even thought of that!
Let me write this down.
What a concept, everybody.
Oh, I see you write...
Oh, jeez!
Yeah, you're supposed to release the book.
Hey, thank you to our Knights mainly, but all of our producers today, executive and associate executive producers, for stepping up and helping us through the slow month of January.
Dvorak.org slash NA. And always, we need help with you going out and propagating that formula.
Our formula is this.
We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
Real.
World.
Order!
Order!
Hey, citizen!
Before we get going, John, you were mocking me so incredibly the other day on the show about this...
Well, you mocked me about most things.
But in this case...
Yeah, so much that was new.
Yeah, nothing new.
About the blood type diet connection...
Can I just read to you a little bit of the theory behind it?
Because you're like, so this is impossible.
I never said it was impossible.
I just said it was stupid.
Okay.
Can I just read a little bit of the theorem to you?
Oh yeah, I think you should.
Where does this document come from that you're reading?
This is coming from Dr.
Peter J. Dadamo and Catherine Whitney.
Who wrote a book, and published it, by the way, called Eat Right for Your Type.
Peer.mo.
Eat Right for Your Type.
Yeah, okay.
But could you not Google it and just listen to me read?
Because that'll be more fun.
Because otherwise you're reading and you're not listening to what I'm saying, which is pretty much the reason I think why you and Mimi live in different states.
That's a joke.
Go on.
That's a joke.
The connection between blood type and diet is a new idea for most people, but they often find that it answers some of their most perplexing questions.
Okay, I'm moving ahead.
Blood types are as fundamental as creation itself.
In the masterful logic of nature, the four blood types follow an unbroken trail from the earliest moment of human creation to the present day.
They are the signatures of our ancient ancestors on the indestructible parchment of history.
The gene for blood tape A emerged at a point in history when humans were evolving from hunter-gatherers and settling into more permanent agrarian communities.
So, moving ahead.
Your blood type is the key to your body's entire immune system, and as such is the essential defining factor in your health profile.
Your blood type antigen serves as the guardian at the gate, creating antibodies to ward off dangerous interlopers.
So far, so good, I think.
When an antibody encounters the antigen of a microbial invader, a reaction called agglutination occurs.
Are you familiar with agglutination?
I'm sure I'll be in a minute.
Which is literally gluing.
The antibody attaches to the viral antigen and makes it very sticky.
When cells, viruses, parasites, and bacteria are agglutinated, they stick together and clump up, which makes the job of their disposal all the easier.
So this is the whole idea.
A chemical reaction occurs between your blood and the foods that you eat.
This reaction is part of your genetic inheritance.
So what they're saying is certain types of foods combined with the lectins used by viruses or bacteria can be blood type specific, making them a stickier pest for a person of that blood type.
So that's kind of the idea, is that certain foods create the agglutination and therefore weaken your immune system.
What do you think?
Bullcrap!
Hey, hey, hey!
Shut up already!
Science!
Is that really bullcrap?
It sounds so...
He's been writing this exact same book apparently since 1997.
He keeps bringing it out one form or another.
If you look on the Amazon list, he's got a million of these same exact books.
And he's milking it.
He's milking the ideas.
It sounds cool to the uneducated.
To the confused and uneducated?
Really?
Yeah, it's perfect.
I have to say, I've lost several pounds.
Yeah, probably because you're dying from this diet.
It's killing you.
Stop!
You don't need to lose weight.
You're already thin.
No, I got really fat in Amsterdam.
Seriously.
No, really.
Because you were drinking too much.
That's because you stopped drinking.
You know, you guys were getting plowed all the time while you were there.
And also, the stick doctor, he fixed me.
I'm going to go back just to say hi, and I'm already sending people on.
That stuff really works.
My back is healed.
Healed.
One session with Dr.
Ken with his stick, pulling my pants down, and I'm healed.
Ah, the glass rod treatment always works.
Anyway, so that is our...
Nevertheless, the consensus among dieticians, physicians, and scientists is that the theory is unsupported by any scientific evidence.
Oh, okay.
Well, he's...
In other words, he can't even do a lack of...
You know, if you look at the Wikipedia and the blood type diet, they don't even try doing clinical trials.
Yeah.
No.
No, of course.
It costs money to do that.
It's just choosing what you eat.
It's not like some medication.
I mean, come on.
We all know if you don't eat a burger, it's going to last longer.
I think that all the listeners out there who have a mind to do this should send you a nutrition book.
He loves gifts.
Put it in a big box.
Hardcover.
I think people should try this out.
Give it a shot.
What do you got to lose?
That's like the, oh, don't knock it if you haven't tried it.
I didn't say that.
You can knock it all you want.
I don't give a crap.
That's exactly what you said in a different phrase.
No, no.
So it's not what I said.
I said, yeah.
No, it's not what I said.
I said, well, whatever.
It's exactly what you said.
No, I know.
Then I would have said, don't knock it till you try it, which I didn't say.
Well, you might.
You just did now.
Ugh.
Okay, no, if you want to go on in this direction, becoming a food nut, you know, one of these picky eaters, I can't have tomatoes because it doesn't match my blood type.
That's exactly it.
If you want to be one of those guys, knock yourself out.
Now, hold on a second.
When I stopped smoking, which, by the way, five months now, I'll take a little congratulatory applause, five months, I did not become an anti-smoking Nazi.
So I'm not becoming like a...
In fact, you can have the tomato even though it doesn't match my blood type.
It's not the best thing for my blood type.
So I shouldn't be eating tomatoes every day.
It's just a shift in diet.
I don't think it's going to hurt any.
It's like you mock me about applied kinesiology, but I haven't had an attack of mold ever.
Since I've been taking whatever crap he's been giving me.
Mold?
Yeah, the mold.
Remember I was sleeping 18 hours a day because of the mold, the tree mold?
You had mold?
Tree mold.
You're getting moldy?
You've got to do more work.
I've got to open my legs more often.
Exactly.
You can laugh all you want.
Anyway.
Well, you can keep pushing this idea.
I'm not pushing it.
It seems to be the second half of the show stuff.
It's so wacky.
I'm not pushing it.
I'm just telling people what I'm doing.
I'm not advocating anything.
In fact, I'm not even telling people.
I'm talking to you.
I don't care what other people think about me.
Quite honestly, I don't give a crap what you think about me.
You just don't give a crap about what anyone thinks.
No, I'm just...
It's conversation.
I'm just having a conversation.
Believe me, I'm sorry I mocked you for this idiocy.
And he mocks me in the apology.
It's unbelievable.
No, I'm just saying.
I apologize deeply for saying anything whatsoever.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm going to be at the donation segment here.
Let's get to some clips.
Yeah, please.
Okay, so we're probably going to start talking about the Hillary show.
So I'm watching the news hour, you know, the public broadcasting.
And Glenn Eiffel.
Glenn Eiffel gets to take over.
This is the woman who wrote the...
I hate geography about Obama.
Oh, what a great guy.
She's like, she shouldn't even be on the air after writing that book because it's a conflict of interest.
But she gets her chance.
Somebody went on vacation or something or another.
It was Martin Luther King.
They had to put her on.
So she is now the host and she opens up.
This is her big chance to host the show right at the beginning.
So I'm going to have the lead in and then her debut as the host.
From viewers like you.
Thank you.
Secretary of Clinton, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
I've had that happen to me.
Where you get your big, big break and then this happens.
It's interesting because she's not the only one that made that mistake.
I'm going to find...
You kind of caught me off guard, but I thought it was pretty...
Secretary of Clinton?
Somebody else said that?
Well, I got something better.
So they're talking about the Al-Qaeda's in Northern Africa, and Jay Carney is doing his little press conference thingy, and here's what happens there.
AQIP, AQAP, and AQIM. What is also...
It gets better.
So there's all these Al-Qaeda's, right?
AQIP. Now, wait for the question.
True.
Is that...
To this point, AQIM has not represented a direct threat to the homeland, but you can tell by our support of the mission that the French have undertaken and by our overall efforts to go after and contain and defeat extremists who would do harm to our interests that we are very serious about this.
So you could square those two, saying al-Qaeda Central Command has been decimated even as al-Qaeda-affiliated groups may be growing.
I think you can square it by stating it clearly, which Secretary of State Clinton did, and which President Clinton has, and I have, and others.
I mean, sorry, President Obama has, Secretary of State Clinton.
Oh, got you, Bobby!
Wow, that's a beauty!
Oh, but wait, that goes on!
President Obama, Press Secretary Carney, thank you.
I thought you were not speculating much.
Was that the lip-sync?
He stole my thunder.
I was going to make a lip-sync joke.
Lip-sync, lip-sync joke.
Yeah, so of course they're already talking about Hillary Clinton being the president.
That's why he slips on President Clinton.
And he tries to play it off later, like, no, I was talking to Bill.
No, you weren't.
Bill is incoherent.
He wasn't talking to Bill.
He wasn't talking to Bill.
Everybody's thinking in advance.
This is why you see, so we have these hearings on Benghazi, and first she does the Senate hearings where she blows up, and I have the full clip of the blowing up and what led to it.
Can I just say one thing, an analysis before we get to your clips?
I got a few clips, but analysis in general, or do you have a lead in here?
No, no, give me the analysis, because I have a number of points to make too, but I don't have any deep analysis.
The whole thing was scripted.
All that time that she wasn't testifying, you can see, she's reading the questions, and then, this is her tell.
Yeah, I think that's a good theory.
She's reading the questions, looks up, looks down, reads her answer.
It was like a table read.
No, she had it exactly like a table where she had a binder and she would clip through it as the question was being asked.
Oh, wait, they're asking this out of order.
Yeah, it's out of order, this question.
Now, of course, everyone's allowed to let a zinger in.
But believe me, even Rand Paul, everyone's in on it.
And if you step over, we'll get to that in a minute.
I was thinking maybe before we get to the blow-up, let's just stay with Molly for a second because that's the stuff that I was looking for other stuff.
Anything but this bull crap about her getting angry and all this stuff, although I have some stuff that plays into that.
See?
You shouldn't eat tomatoes.
You start sneezing.
So here's, let's see.
It is about a season, by the way.
They're not in season.
I only eat tomatoes in season.
I eat good tomatoes.
I don't eat the crap that they sell at Safeway.
Here is Hillary talking about how serious it is.
Actually, I should play them in order here.
This is the first one.
About us being in Northern Africa.
It is not reasonable nor feasible to tether U.S. forces at the ready to respond to protect every high-risk post in the world.
She's reading this, by the way.
We have to look at this from both the State Department and the DOD perspective, and we don't have assets of any significance right now on the African continent.
We're only building that up.
And so what do we...
We've only just begun.
Hey, baby, it's coming!
Hello, Africa!
We need an Africa.
What countries will welcome us there?
Give us, both our military and civilian teams, a good, safe base out of which to operate.
So if we're focusing...
If I were a warlord or if I were a president of any African country, I'd be like, oh, crap!
Oh no!
They're coming!
All of a sudden, it's so normal that we need to find countries that will welcome us.
It's like, what are we doing?
We have to go to all these African countries and we've got to put our military in there and we've got to be a part of something.
You might as well play this clip out of order, which is not the Hillary clip, but since you brought it up, the McRaven and JSOC AFRICOM clip, which was brought out on the Democracy Now!
show because there's this new movie that everyone has to go see called Dirty Wars.
And the two producers, one of them, both of them seem like liberals that are very disillusioned.
And one of them looked like he was afraid of being assassinated on the show, literally.
Seriously, this guy was a wreck.
Yeah.
But this is what, and I have a lot of clips.
I'm going to play some on Sunday, too, from these two characters.
But just listen to this.
Or Molly, and reported on this, but since AFRICOM was created as a full freestanding command, like Southern Command and Central Command, AFRICOM has been expanding these wars.
And McRaven, where he is now?
McRaven is the commander of the Special Operations Command.
William McRaven is the most powerful figure in the United States military.
He's an incredibly brilliant man.
He's very shrewd.
He understands media.
And he is in charge of the most elite force the US has ever produced.
And he has been given carte blanche to do what he believes is right around the world We've empowered much more under President Obama than they were under President Bush.
In fact, you see someone who's worked within JSOC saying that to us in our film.
And out of Camp Lemonnier, which is in Djibouti, the U.S. has been expanding these covert wars in Africa.
Most Americans, what they know about Somalia is Black Hawk Down.
And I think in our film, you're going to see a very different reality, and you're going to see a hellscape that has been built by a decade of covert war.
Ah, yeah.
These guys are goners.
They better start acting weird pretty quick.
They are goners.
So let me add this in.
So here is Hillary Lucifer, Clippity-Clop.
You know what?
I'm sorry.
How can we even be playing these clips of her without her proper intro?
This is not...
It's Clippity-Clop.
The message is clear.
Just Clippity-Clop.
Ha, ha, ha.
Okay, so here is now, of course, this morning we had the first round of confirmation hearings for her follow-up, her John Kerry.
Of course, this is happening while we're doing the show, so we can't really analyze that maybe if there's anything good on Sunday.
But here she is talking about the danger.
So, you know, why are we in Africa?
Now, producers, listeners of the No Agenda podcast, the best podcast in the universe, know that That this is about kicking the Chiners out because they put in the roads and everything.
Thank you very much for all the work, Chiners.
Now get out because we're going to take all of the resources.
And I want to say that Sir Atomic Rod has debunked your theory about uranium.
John, he wrote a pretty long blog post about this.
He says that Mali's potential total uranium is 5,200 tons.
That is not even half of what France needs on a yearly basis.
And that this stuff, all the uranium they need can be purchased for $600 million.
So it's not about the uranium.
There's a link in the show notes to look at that.
So I think it still is gold, oil, pipeline stuff.
But Hillary will tell you the real reason is, of course, because of Al-Qaeda.
We are now trying to help put together an African force from ECOWAS so that African soldiers will be in the front of this fight.
The Malians asked the French to come in.
Obviously, France is one of our oldest allies.
We are trying to provide support to them.
But this is going to be a very serious ongoing threat.
Because if you look at the size of northern Mali, if you look at the topography, it's not only desert, it's caves.
Caves!
It's like, Afghanistan is caves!
Do you remember, by the way, when they first went into Afghanistan and they showed pictures of what the caves were going to be like?
All from James Bond movies.
There were level trucks going in and coming out.
Stores from missiles.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it reminisces.
And they showed these things.
They showed on CNN, here's what we suspect the cave looks like.
And this cave was like some sort of James Bond fantasy.
They'll probably use the same footage for the caves in Mali.
Well, I think it's been forgotten.
It's been long enough.
The period has lapsed.
They can run this bull crap on the public once again.
Well, hold on a second.
Let's just take a quick look here.
Let's consult the book of knowledge.
Mali Caves.
Oh, it looks like Arizona.
Cool.
Alright, let's continue with this.
We are in for a struggle.
Struggle!
But it is a necessary struggle.
We cannot permit Northern Mali to become a safe haven.
People say to me all the time...
Well, AQIM hasn't attacked the United States.
Well, before 9-11-2001, we hadn't been attacked on our homeland since, I guess, the War of 1812 and Pearl Harbor.
Really?
I mean, just because it didn't happen?
You can't say, well, because they haven't done something, they're not going to do it.
This is not only a terrorist syndicate, it is a criminal enterprise.
Criminal enterprise!
It's almost too delicious to believe, my friend.
Criminal syndicate!
So make no mistake about it.
Make no mistake about it.
We've got to have a better strategy.
And I would hope we'd have not only a strategy that understands...
Making it possible for these governments to defend themselves better, for people to understand and agree with us that these terrorists are not in any way representative of their values, but that we can bolster democracy and try to give these Arab revolutions a real chance to succeed.
All we are saying is give Africans a chance.
Wow!
Did you notice the curious thing?
These were supposedly Benghazi hearings.
The Congress, by the way, is a separate part of the government.
Congress, and there's the executive branch, and there's the judicial branch.
These guys are supposed to all have their own powers.
The Congress is not supposed to be in bed with the executive branch like some of these bullcrap Democrats are.
They didn't ask her one question.
They just went on and on extolling how...
Great she was.
Joe Kennedy is now, who's from Brookline, he's a Massachusetts House representative guy.
Oh, Massachusetts nuts.
He's a Massachusetts House, you know, this guy seems like an idiot.
Why he would get voted in?
But that's Massachusetts.
He's a Kennedy!
He's a Kennedy.
Hey, Kennedy, he's in.
That's what we do.
Here's his questions about Benghazi.
Thank you, Mr.
Chairman, Mr.
Ranking Member.
Thank you.
Madam Secretary, thank you for what I can only describe as a truly exemplary career in public service and a dedication to public service.
A million miles!
I look forward to what the future holds for you as well.
When you become president, remember I said that, Hill, remember?
I have two broad-based questions for you, if I can, Madam Secretary.
You now have obviously held this office for four years at an extraordinarily challenging time in our history.
We've recently passed the two-year anniversary of the Arab Awakening.
We're seeing the recent headlines, emerging threats from Algeria and Mali across northern Africa, spreading out through the Middle East, Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan.
Did you notice, by the way, you said headlines?
No.
Where was that in there?
He said headlines.
We're seeing headlines.
I don't think he said we're seeing actual events.
We're seeing headlines.
Oh, yeah.
That's what he said.
We've had time in our history.
We've recently passed the two-year anniversary of the Arab Awakening.
We're seeing the recent headlines.
Yeah.
Nothing really happening.
We just see the headlines.
So you don't have to play anymore, but he just goes on and on saying how great she is.
So just cut to another one of these guys.
This is supposed to be hearings on Benghazi.
Play the classic kiss-ass from Florida clip.
So I'll just ask for a response in writing, and we'll go now to Mr.
Deutsch from Florida.
Thank you, Mr.
Chairman.
We won't have to wait long because those were some good questions that I'll take up in a moment.
Secretary Clinton, first I'd like to thank you for the truly remarkable job that you've done as Secretary of State.
You have represented the interests of this nation magnificently, and I, for one, hope that after a bit of rest you will consider a return to public service, and should that return bring you to Florida, I will look forward to welcoming you there.
I'd be remiss if I did not take this opportunity To once again thank you for your efforts on behalf of my constituent, Robert Levinson.
You can kill that.
That's all he does.
What is wrong with these people?
Why don't you just say, look, it goes like this.
It goes like this.
If you don't have, it's a hearing on Benghazi.
You're called on.
You can just say, I pass.
I don't want to ask her any questions.
You're not going to give up an opportunity to be on television.
No way!
You're not going to pass.
No way!
No, no, no, no.
And by the way, what is the great thing she did?
Tell me what...
I'm asking you, just to ask Adam.
Oh, okay.
What did she do in her four years that is so great?
She set the entire continent of Africa on fire, which I think she single-handedly was responsible for that.
She made sure that we got Libya, that we got Egypt.
And by the way, her buddy...
Bill Gates has now invested in, there's a consortium, like a billion dollars invested in an Egypt company.
So it's like, thanks, that's great.
So we got that.
We've totally destabilized Syria.
The whole idea is to destabilize everything.
Make it very difficult and primarily to kick Chinas out.
Libya, Chinas.
Syria, Chinas.
All throughout North Africa.
China, China, China.
It's like, get them out.
We need to go in.
We need to go steal everything.
She's been fantastic.
She is Lucifer.
Beelzebub has done her job.
She needs to go back down to the fiery gates of hell.
Nobody ever mentions this.
That she's from hell?
No.
They don't mention that she did, you know, if you're going to take that approach, which I think that is probably what she did, should be getting credit for, but nobody ever says that.
They just make these vague thank yous.
Thank you, Madam Secretary.
If I was there, I'd say, Hill, great job.
You've destabilized everything.
We can go in.
We can sell our war machines to all these other countries who also have interests there.
We're balkanizing the Middle East.
You've done a great job.
Hey, by the way, thanks for that Baku pipeline.
That's all rocking.
You know, we've got Europe.
We've got them under our thumb.
Now, we're...
We're going to push the Russians out with our own pipelines, and you're doing that with your no-chin monster Baroness Van Ashton, so that we can control the gas supply to Europe.
Good job!
I think, as an American citizen, good job!
It's not very humane.
She's a total a-hole, and the whole idea of what is happening rubs me the wrong way, but from an imperialistic American screw-you standpoint, she's done a great job, and that's what all these people are sucking up to her for, because they've all got their interest in the things that she's been doing.
That's the end of the Ask Adam.
That was good.
That was one of your better answers.
Rand Paul, however, was the only person, and of course he leads into it, and then they both walk away, back to the script.
But he does slip one in, and I'll give him a point for that.
Yeah.
Because no one else is.
And there is a certain amount of culpability to the worst tragedy since 9-11, and I'm glad you're accepting this.
Here it comes.
Now, my question is, is the U.S. involved with any procuring of weapons, transfer of weapons, buying, selling, anyhow, transferring weapons to Turkey?
Now, this is an excellent question, and I think it's a trick question.
So this, of course, we know is part of what went down in Benghazi, that there was a weapons transfer.
There's been no accounting of all of the man pads, all the weaponry that was in Libya.
We're all over that when it happened.
This is exactly what's been going on, and the U.S., of course, has been supplying these weapons to the so-called rebels.
Turns out in Mali, they were Canadians.
You know, we've got all kinds of white dudes checking into hotels in Syria and just destabilizing everything, because those are the weapons.
This is the whole problem.
This is why we had to cover it up, because there were weapons being smuggled through the Benghazi port.
Chris Stevens was a part of it, and here's her answer.
Out of Libya.
To Turkey?
Turkey?
What?
Now, this is where she messes up.
I will have to take that question for the record.
Nobody's ever raised that with me.
It's been in news reports that ships have been leaving from Libya and that they may have weapons.
And what I'd like to know is the annex that was close by...
There you go.
He's talking about the annex next door to the consulate...
Right, which had the weapons.
Which was CIA, because the CIA was there to move the weapons through, which they do...
Iran-Contra, I mean, this is not something that the CIA doesn't know how to do.
They know how to sell weapons to rebels.
Were they involved with procuring, buying, selling, obtaining weapons?
And were any of these weapons being transferred to other countries, any countries, Turkey included?
Any country.
Now, whoa, wait a minute.
She's like, what?
Looking through the pages.
This is not in my script.
What is this guy doing?
What do you think he is?
Robert De Niro all of a sudden?
What are you doing, a-hole?
You'll have to direct that question to the agency that ran the annex.
Yeah, good luck with asking the CIA about that.
Good luck with that.
Nice comeback on her part.
Good luck.
Yeah, great.
But now watch her flow right.
She's good.
She's good.
And I will see what information is available.
You're saying you don't know?
I do not know.
I don't have any information on that.
That, by the way, that could be one that comes back to bite her in the ass.
But she'll be so old and decrepit by then it won't matter.
You know, with respect to personnel, Senator, you know, first...
And now it's back to the script.
That's why we have...
It clears your throat.
Time to go back to the script, Senator.
...dependent people who review the situation as we did with...
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Hey, can I... I'm going to stop for a second and mention a couple of things.
Once she had her glasses on again, we should at least talk about that.
I think...
I think...
She, her, whatever happened to her, it resulted in her, in her some, some small motor movement that means she couldn't put her contacts in.
I think she can't put her contacts in.
I think she's got something wrong with her, like she's going to shake or she can't get that lens without poking herself in the eye.
Seriously.
So are you off of the facelift eye job?
Well, I'm still kind of adhering to the attempted assassination and some of these other things, but I think she had something.
Or maybe if she had an eye job, if she had LASIK surgery, even though those glasses are so Coke bottle-like that I can't believe that's the case.
Here's what one of our doctors checked in.
Actually, I think his wife is the doctor.
He said the glasses are a little bit fogged, and that is the type of glasses that you give to someone who's had a stroke, and that it looks like her left side is a little bit less mobile than her right side.
That could be.
And then I have to say, I'm going back to assassination attempt.
I'm with you there.
They fried her brain with something.
Now the other thing is, is that if you watch the very beginning of the Senate hearings...
And you watch her have her sip of water very early.
Yeah.
She can't actually...
She can't hold the glass?
She holds the glass up to her mouth and then shakes...
She holds the glass up to her mouth and then wiggles her head forward and backward to slosh water into her mouth.
It's the weirdest thing you've ever seen.
Hold on a second.
It's very lizard-like.
She's got to be.
Well, hello!
She kind of moves her head back and forth to slosh water.
She doesn't actually lift up and pour the glass into her mouth.
Oh, that's interesting.
So there's something with motor skills that's not working.
I'm looking at the video right now, actually.
So there's something with her motor skill, like her arms.
She can't control her arms?
Which makes me think she can't put her contacts in.
That's why she's wearing glasses.
She's never worn glasses.
No.
No, I think I have seen her once or twice, but she seems to be a typical contact wearer.
But I thought it was interesting that this doctor, of course we have a lot of medical people who listen to the show, who mock me for my diet, but the glasses apparently are a certain type that were recognized.
I'm waiting for the drink of water.
Is it at the very beginning?
No.
Yeah, it's right at the beginning.
Okay, when the douchebag is talking, whoever it is, the...
You have to run it through slow and you can see it.
Okay, well, I'll just turn this down while that's running.
I'll be on the lookout for that.
Very interesting.
And I've heard that there was an attempt that was, you know, I much more prefer the facelift angle.
I don't want anyone getting killed for anything.
Although she, of course, has the blood of millions on her hands, she and Bill together.
Um...
But, you know, the analysis we've received is that it looks like some kind of paralysis, and that with the type of glasses seems to be consistent with a mild stroke victim.
Yeah, could be.
You know, she's getting on.
I mean, she gets mad.
I mean, she got mad at this hearing.
Yeah, should we play the get mad clip?
And I've heard she has a hot temper, and that's the kind of thing that would blow a vein out.
Now, here's the question.
Let's play the full clip.
Let's set that one up.
This is the full clip of her blowing up.
The guy, this is the one where she never answers these questions.
She beats around the bush.
She's really good at avoiding anybody who's actually asking strong questions.
And so this is the guy that's one of the senators that have his name somewhere.
Johnson?
Yeah, asking her.
You see the lead up and then she kind of just blows up at him.
Was information developing?
Was the situation fluid?
Hold on a second.
I'm seeing her with the water right now.
Oh my God!
She goes and tilts her head back like she's one of those dipping things.
Remember as a kid, you had one of those...
It was kind of like a rooster, and you had the...
Yeah, and then she kind of sloshes the water into her mouth.
Yeah!
She looked like just...
Wow, what is that?
It's not lizard-like.
Let me just look at that again.
That was frightening.
It's two minutes and 13 seconds into it.
Oh, that's pretty sad, John.
It's like I once saw at Hell's Angel who he had...
This guy died, but people in the lowlands will remember this guy.
And someone had thrown cooking oil over him in a fight.
And so his whole head was burned.
And his mouth was just burned shut.
His chin was sticking out.
But he would drink beer and he would drink it just like Hillary did there.
He's going to tilt his head back and pour the beer in.
That's frightening.
Would we reach conclusions later that weren't reached initially?
And I appreciate that.
Madam Secretary, do you disagree with me that a simple phone call to those evacuees to show you what happened?
Stop, stop, stop.
This is what triggered her.
This guy brought up the point that we've brought up on the show.
They had a bunch of guys, there's four guys that they rousted them and took them to Germany and ditched them.
Four?
There's like 30 people.
Oh yeah, I'm sorry, 30.
I'm thinking of four dead.
No, there's like 30 people.
There's a whole group of people that got them out of there and shipped them out of the country and now they're in hiding.
Yeah.
And no one can talk to them.
I wouldn't have ascertained immediately that there was no protest.
I mean, that was a piece of information that could have been easily, easily obtained.
Within hours, if not days.
Senator, I, you know...
When you're in these positions, the last thing you want to do is interfere with any other process going on.
I realize that's a good excuse.
Number two, I would recommend highly you read both what the ARB said about it and the classified ARB, because even today there are questions being raised.
Now, we have no doubt they were terrorists, they were militants, they attacked us, they killed our people.
But what was going on and why they were doing what they were doing is still...
Again, we were misled that there were supposedly protests and then something sprang out of that, an assault sprang out of that.
And that was easily ascertained that that was not the fact.
And the American people could have known that within days.
And they didn't know that.
With all due respect, the fact is we had four dead Americans.
Was it because of a protest or was it because of guys out for a walk one night who decided they'd go kill some Americans?
I understand.
Where did you come up with that example?
That puzzled me.
She's a lunatic!
Shut up, slave!
What difference at this point does it make?
It is our job to figure out what happened and do everything we can to prevent it from ever happening again, Senator.
Now, honestly, I will do my best to answer your questions about this, but the fact is that people are trying in real time to get to the best information.
The IC has a process, I understand, going with the other committees To explain how these talking points came out.
But, you know...
IC is intelligence community.
To be clear, it is, from my perspective...
To be clear...
You can stop that clip, because I want you to go to another clip.
Because this is where she really gets into the IC. And this was with Brooks out of Alabama, and I think this was in the House...
Question and answers.
And this guy started grilling her similarly, but she throws the intelligence community not only under the bus, but then blames them for everything.
As though that was the CIA who briefed our UN representative, what's her name?
Rice.
Rice.
As though the CIA took her and said, here's what you're going to do and you're going to read this.
And I don't believe this for a minute.
I'm wondering whether or not she is not endearing herself to the intelligence community with this particular little thing, which runs a little long, but the Brooks, Alabama, Hillary CIA under the bus clip.
But again, I would say that...
Oh, and by the way, this is two minutes into it.
Secretary Rice conveyed information that had been provided by the intelligence community and the interagency process.
I'm not trying to go into the process right now.
I'm just trying to determine what the truth is, as best we know at this time.
Secretary Clinton is Ambassador Rice's statement that Benghazi was, quote, prompted, of course, by an anti-Muslim video, end quote, put on the Internet in the United States.
Factually accurate.
I'd have to go back to my first answer, Congressman, and just say that we don't know all the motivations, so I don't want to give a sweeping answer as to what prompted those men to come out that night and attack our compound.
Okay.
Well, on September 16th, the very same day, U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice made her statements to the American people in the world.
Libyan President Mohamed Megharov said on NPR that, quote, As we now know, from everything I have read at least, the Libyan president told the truth.
Contrast that with the statements by Ambassador Rice to the United Nations.
It forces one to wonder whether Libya's intelligence was that much better than America's on September the 16th, or whether Libyan leaders were that much more willing to be candid or to avoid misstatements.
Secretary Clinton, what evidence was there that was so compelling that it caused the White House, through Ambassador Susan Rice, to make these representations about spontaneous protests, anti-Muslim videos and the like, despite evidence and statements of Libya's own president to the contrary?
If she's going to make these statements an affirmative act on her part, where was the compelling evidence and what was it?
Well, Congressman, I was not involved in the so-called talking points process.
Ooh, I like that.
Write that down as a show title, Talking Points Process.
The thing is, it was a typical process trying to get to the best information available.
It was an intelligence product.
Intelligence product?
Wow!
I love it.
I can understand it.
Working with their committees of jurisdiction to try to unpack that.
But I will say that all of the senior administration officials, including Ambassador Rice, who spoke publicly to this terrible...
I appreciate your response so far, but if you're not familiar with any compelling evidence that would support the statements made by Ambassador Rice, who would know?
Well, there was evidence, and the evidence was being sifted and analyzed by the intelligence community, which is why the intelligence community was the principal decider about what went into talking points.
And there was also the added problem of nobody wanting to say things that would All right, so you know what's going on here?
She knows that it was their fuck-up.
She knows that the CIA fucked it up.
And that's why she's so coy to say, go ahead, Rand Paul, why don't you go talk to the CIA? And that's why she's here saying, hey, that was the CIA. I had nothing to do with that.
It's not my problem.
She knows that they cannot touch her because she knows that she knows that they know that she knows.
That's what's going on here.
Yeah, we're talking here, I think, referring to the botched kidnapping attempt.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Which was obviously a set-up deal that didn't work out.
So, in this vein of this whole intelligence thing, I just want to catch her in a little...
By the way, she was pounding them with that answer.
Here's a little lie that I just wanted to get out of the way.
In fact, you got pretty upset about it when somebody suggested that this was a terrorist attack.
The video...
I did not say that it was about the video for Libya.
Okay, you didn't say that.
Let's go to Andrews Air Force Base September 14th.
We've seen the heavy assault on our post in Benghazi that took the lives of those brave men.
We've seen rage and violence directed at American embassies over an awful internet video that we had nothing to do with.
I'm sorry, Hillary.
You did basically refer to it.
You did.
Play the first clip again where she denies it.
We just heard her say it.
All right, hold on a second.
I just want to just get it clear how she lied.
You got pretty upset about it when somebody suggested that this was a terrorist attack.
The video...
I did not say that it was about the video for Libya.
It certainly was for...
Yeah, you did.
You lie.
You speak with four-tongued, lizard woman.
My favorite clip, this is a real short one I have here, where...
Let's see where I have it.
Nothing can be further from the truth is always a classic to hear.
Okay, yeah.
That when you're lying, that's what you want to say.
People have accused Ambassador Rice and the administration of misleading Americans.
I can say, trying to be in the middle of this and understanding what was going on, nothing could be further from the truth.
It's almost too delicious to believe, my friend.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
That is the classic lie.
Yeah, it is.
It's so obvious.
Everybody, you know, you get a six-year-old kid does that.
So then, of course, this is what all the news media was playing.
This is the Hillary chokes up, which I have a little follow-up clip to.
Oh, yeah.
So you just have to hear, because I would say, chapeau, bravo.
I think the award for best supporting actress.
In a motion picture, drama, or musical goes to Hillary Rodham Lucifer Clippity Club.
Clinton.
For me, this is not just a matter of policy.
It's personal.
I stood next to President Obama as the Marines carried those flag-draped caskets off the plane at Andrews.
I put my arms around the mothers and fathers, the sisters and brothers, the sons and daughters, and the wives left alone to raise their children.
It has been one of the great honors of my life to lead the men and women of the State Department and USAID. So there she is choking up about how she put her arms around the fathers and mothers and sisters and brothers of those who were slain in this horrible attack.
And she's choking up.
And here's a father of one of the SEALs.
She came out originally and blamed the video.
In fact, at Andrews, when Secretary Clinton stood up to address the crowd, she referenced the videotape from this movie maker in California as being to blame for your son's death.
Well, this is what Hillary did.
She came over and, you know, she did the same thing, you know, separately came over and talked with me.
I gave her a hug, shook her hand, and she did not appear to be one bit sincere at all.
And, you know, she mentioned that thing about we're going to have that person arrested and prosecuted that did the video.
There you go.
There's a father saying she came over and she was insincere.
Yeah, no, she wasn't choked up at that thing.
We heard another report of that early on.
The mother?
Remember the mother?
She was like a cold.
No, that was worse.
That was about Obama, wasn't it?
Oh yeah, it was about Obama.
They're all the same.
Let me just say, I wish I had had that one at the ready.
It was the mother of one of the...
Yeah, this was during that same event.
Let me just see.
Mother...
I might have it somewhere.
Do you realize how many gigabytes of files we create for this show?
We have lots of stuff.
Just gigabytes of jagaboos and giblets.
Meanwhile, this is the kind of analysis that you would expect from a media that you either pay for, your government pays for, that you support by buying crap products from the Chiners on your credit card with money you don't really have.
But of course, this is how Diane Sawyer really reports on this.
We turn to the fiery appearance for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton testifying before Congress on the tragedy in Benghazi.
It was a valedictory that showed her indignation and emotion.
Valedictory?
What is that?
Is that like a female bisexual?
Like a valedictorian.
Is that what she's talking about?
Yeah, that's what I think she said.
That she's a valedictorian.
Let me just...
I've got to hear that again.
We turn to the fiery appearance for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton testifying before Congress on the tragedy in Benghazi.
It was a valedictory that showed...
Valedictory?
That's what she said.
It sounds like she said a valid victory.
I could...
She's...
She's drunk.
She says she's drunk.
We know she's drunk.
Indignation and emotion.
Indignation?
As she ends this tenure on the public stage.
ABC's chief global affairs correspondent Martha Raddatz brings us the riveting encounter today.
Martha.
They're just like swooning over this riveting encounter.
Riveting on the global stage.
Fantastic.
Diane, what a way to end her four-year tenure as Secretary of State.
A month ago, she was flat on her back with a nasty concussion, prompting accusations she was trying to avoid testifying about Benghazi.
But today, this woman who has traveled the world as America's top diplomat came to the Hill ready for a fight.
Da, ready for a fight.
And they're just swooning over her.
Swooning.
That's terrible.
It's horrible.
What kind of reporting is this?
That's ABC. I know.
This is the top dog network.
Oh, man.
Isn't that just amazing?
I really find it like, whoa.
Whoa.
Well, at least we look into this a little bit more and catch the lies.
And how hard can it be?
Apparently it's rather hard.
It's impossible, apparently, at the network level.
How can we ever do this?
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's amazing.
Amazing, amazing, amazing.
I think we should thank our...
I think that's a very, very good idea.
I'm going to show myself all by donating to No Agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
Yeah, on No Agenda.
Diane's a drunk!
In the morning.
So, starting off with some of the people that helped us get this show produced.
Sir Nanninger, Dr.
Nanninger, Port Jefferson, New York.
$188.43.
$55.10.
Double it goes on a dime to answer the Minuteman.
Call 3333 for dishonoring my knighthood by asking for a pin.
I too shall earn it the noble way.
I was just afraid of not having the infrared pin and getting...
By the way, we have to talk about that at some point.
And getting hit by the...
I did a lot of research on this infrared stuff.
Well, let's talk about it now.
Is it possible?
Can we do it?
Does it rub off?
No, not really.
The paint only lasts six months.
Most of the guys do.
Hello?
Hello?
This is...
Hello?
This is fantastic.
No, but if we're going to have a good-looking pin that people can identify, you don't want a bunch of gooey-looking brown paint on it.
No, but you have to up your knighthood to get a new one.
Hello?
No, but it's an ugly paint.
Oh, it's ugly.
Okay.
All right, then.
But you have the patches.
What they really use are these patches.
You can buy this fabric.
It's like a tape.
And what they do in the war zones for the drones is they put it on top of the helmet.
Right, right.
Yeah, with a patch on top.
Right, right, right.
And then you can see when you're flying around, you can see these people.
Yeah.
Anyway, we'll talk about it in more detail as I continue my research.
Okay.
It's very hard.
By the way, you can't export this stuff.
It's only Americans can buy it.
Really?
So we can't even send it.
Oh, that's a problem.
One of our Australian nicest was complaining about it.
He knew about it, but he couldn't get it out of it.
You couldn't get it because he thought it would be cool to have.
Well, then why don't we just do an RFID or something?
It's not going to help the drones.
The drones are looking for this light.
Anyways, just for not having an infrared pin and getting hit by a no-agenda drone, $100 for Lizzie's damsel hood.
Please give me a niece, shut up, slave, and a karma, and more Nigel Farage.
Shut up, slave!
You've got karma.
There you go.
Tom Herman in Wursterhausen.
Uh, Deutschland, I guess.
Guten Tag, John and Adam.
Here's a part of my last raise that the overlords of the German state waste for our noodles kids.
Please call out, I'm sure there's plenty of them, please call out Robert the Butcher as a douchebag and give some karma to my Audi, which people seem to like to crash into.
Best.
Tom from Leinfelden-Echterdingen.
Okay.
For an Audi.
For an Audi.
An Audi.
An Audi.
I'm driving.
Anthony Farmer lost wages.
Nevada.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
The opportunity to make a five-figure contribution was just too delicious to ignore, my friends.
Thanks for the great weekly and media breakdown.
Statler and Waldorf, can I get a little financial bonus karma followed by Don't Eat Me Hillary and Dr.
Kiki?
Wow.
Okay, well, that's kind of a triple play.
Don't Eat Me Hillary Clinton!
Shut up already!
Science!
You've got karma.
There we go.
That's how we roll.
That's how we roll.
Jason Stevens.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm skipping a few.
Sorry.
Monica Lansing in Drayton, Alberta, where all the money is.
$115 in Canada.
Dear Abaddon and Jebediah, I thought I used biblical names since most false flag events use biblical names as code.
I've really enjoyed your shows recently, and since I'm trying to cash in some mutual funds and ran into some roadblocks, I ran into some roadblocks.
I figured I'd send some cash in so I could ask for some cash karma.
I'll send more if I ever get those checks in the mail.
We just need cash.
I know a lot of people want to send blankets or water.
Just send your cash.
You've got karma.
Sir Jason Stevens, $111.11 from Lost Wages, Nevada with no comment.
Sir Thomas Weiler in Norway, right?
Yeah.
An Obra Diesbach.
Switzerland.
Switzerland.
Yeah, no, that's not Norway.
I don't know who I'm thinking.
Hi, Ernie and Bert.
I donated $103.02, 69.69 plus 33.33.
Establish a night pin lapel waiting list for the best podcasts in the universe.
The last shows were awesome.
I'd like a two delicious Hillary don't eat me shut up slave karma.
Which shut-up slave?
Just a regular...
Yeah, just a regular one.
Okay, well, you know, this is getting more complicated by the day.
It's almost too delicious to believe, my friend.
Don't eat me, Hillary Clinton!
Shut up, slave!
It's complicated.
You've got karma.
There's a lot of work to it.
Yeah, you know, I have to say that you do absolutely the most amazing job, considering, I mean, you have to, like, find the clips, which is always a problem.
Considering I can't eat tomatoes for my blood type.
And you can't eat tomatoes, which is, like, you know, a very big drawback, it seems to me.
Okay.
Raymond Williams in Lafayette, Louisiana.
$100 Without Common.
Justin Trusty in Fenton, Missouri.
8732.
Thanks for providing the great service to the world since the rest of the news media can't as we prove show after show.
I want to call out my friend Nathan Boudreau as a douchebag.
Douchebag.
For not donating, and give a shout-out to my friend Carl's website, which is Carl Haglund.
He sells paintings of famous musicians' guitars.
Really?
Check that out.
Carl Haglund.com.
Hold on.
Let's just check it out.
Carl Haglund.com.
And what have we here?
Oh, so he actually makes a painting of the guitar.
Yeah.
Well, hey, something's sold here.
He's selling.
He's a selling artist.
Well, that's a plus.
That's great.
John Vale in Pensburg, Pennsylvania, $71.
I couldn't find a note from him.
Now we've got an anonymous donation of $70.
I'll go read parts of this.
This is like, essentially, we sent us a copy of War and Peace.
Hi, Alphonse and Josephus.
I don't think I start the damehood for the Lizzie campaign, but I think I resurrected it, so please put those donations towards that.
I know she won't get there quick on my donation.
I think she has a chance since the Baron is taking up the cause.
He's already given her, you know, we can just give her one.
Um...
I don't know, is there anything else in here we need to read?
Yeah, what he wants for his, uh, the sequence of jingles that he wants.
He wants a Dvorak, you will obey, followed by a bullshit, two to the head, karma.
And karma.
You will obey.
Bullshit!
You've got karma.
There you go.
Alright, and now we have...
69!
69, dudes!
Another string of these things.
Really?
Peter Meyer in Cypress, Texas, which is just down the road from you.
You can hear people's walking distance.
Oh, by the way, speaking of just down the road, so I totally got played on the mansion.
That was bullcrap.
Oh, okay.
What happened?
I offered like 70% of the asking monthly rent.
Yeah, yeah.
And he's like, well, you know, I've got someone who wants to do three months at the full price, but if you're going to stay 24 months, I'm like, yeah, I'll do that.
I'll do that.
And then he's waiting.
He's like, well, these people want to do maybe an option on six months.
And then he calls back and he's like, well, you can have it for 24 months for the original price.
So he was just trying to...
Fucking playing me, just trying to get me to move up.
Thanks.
Hold on a second.
Hey!
Douchebag!
Douchebag.
Got me all excited, wasted my time.
What?
It's a douchey sales trick.
You shouldn't do that.
It's bait and switch, essentially.
No, it's just a-hole.
Just a-hole.
You know, it's all right, but I wish him nothing with good karma.
Peter Meyer in Cypress, Texas.
No, hold on a second.
Hold on a second.
This is for him.
It's been a good while since I donated, so now is as good a time as any to true up.
Time to true up, bitches.
You guys have been pushing out a good product lately.
Let's keep it pithy.
Just give me a mac and cheese plus little girl yay and karma.
A mac and cheese?
Do we...
Oh, man.
Did we save that?
Did we save the mac and cheese?
I think so.
Wow, I'm sorry.
Well, just so you know, these donations are done.
It's not like I got all this time ahead of, you know.
No, it's okay.
You can't keep everything.
No, I can't.
Yay!
We'll do a little, little yay.
You've got our mac and cheese.
I feel bad.
I didn't, you know, mac and cheese.
I don't remember.
What did it say?
It was Michelle Obama doing mac and cheese, mac and cheese, mac and cheese.
It was actually quite funny.
It's just, you know, now I've got to go find it.
We never used it since.
We wouldn't have kept it.
Oh, wait.
Mac and cheese.
What's this?
What's this?
Oh, that's not it.
All right.
Lothian, Virginia.
69, 69.
Tonight started as any normal Wednesday would, swinging by the grocery store to pick up some milk, milk for the niece and nephew that the wife and I babysit.
The only difference this night was that I needed some extra items in addition to the milk.
There was a young blonde girl ringing up my items, maybe age 19 or 20, just scanning my coupon and returning my discount card before she let me know how much I owed.
I saw it.
It was the magical 69-69!
She read the numbers out so matter-of-factly that I was fighting back the urge to giggle like a little schoolgirl or even worse, giggling while belting out a 69-69 dudes.
Ha!
Holding firm my straight-faced demeanor so as not to be thought of as a pervert, I quickly paid and left the store.
I'm sure I looked like a mentally deranged person smiling and laughing to myself in the parking lot.
But I knew what had to be done this night.
Long live Swazzelnuff.
Thank you very much.
That's good.
That's a good one.
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
Very nice.
Nicholas Child in Victoria, Australia, I would assume.
Can you hold on one second?
Sure.
When it comes to the holidays every year.
Well, I'm the hostess in chief.
We host a number of events here for a whole range of people.
It's very traditional.
I mean, there's turkey, there's, you know, the string beans and stuffing, a little mac and cheese.
This is a time when I throw, let's move out the window for a moment and get that mac and cheese.
Everybody deserves their mac and cheese.
Okay, we've got to clip that down.
Mac and cheese.
Everybody deserves their mac and cheese.
Yeah, just, ladies.
Nothing like mac and cheese is a high nutritional...
Dinner.
I'm putting it...
That and cat food.
Yes, tasty treats, everybody.
Nicholas Child, 6969.
In the morning, I was going to use the money that left in the PayPal account to donate last week, but instead I made the mistake of using the money to buy a cycle helmet, which ended up not fitting.
And since then, I've been hit in the mouth with a squash racket and have smashed my phone screen, which is going to cost about the amount I was going to pay for.
I paid for the phone to repair.
It's going to cost that much.
So I desperately need some karma reversal, and I figure it might as well be some getting laid karma for the upcoming Australia Day long weekend, or as the locals call it, Invasion Day.
Can I get one of what that's from?
I don't know.
Can I get a Citizen Fiscal Cliff Karma?
Yeah, you bet.
Hey, Citizen.
Ah!
You've got karma.
Interesting story of karma turned to bad.
He didn't time it right.
Matthew Bellamar in Wolcott, Connecticut.
6969.
I gave it this much last October looking for a relationship getting laid karma and ended up getting a 25% raise retroactive to July.
Wow.
This time I could seriously use the relationship getting laid karma.
Okay, here it is.
That's good.
You've got karma.
All right.
He names himself the Tight Arse Indian.
Long-time owner, first-time donor.
That's him.
That's the guy.
The tight arse Indian.
After listening to the grounding ribbons clip from the Hindu Film Festival, I thought enough is enough.
I can't take it anymore.
Hold on a second.
I don't even see this on the spreadsheet.
Yeah.
You're not reading the guy from New South Wales.
He's not really an Indian.
I got it.
That's why I was confused.
Okay.
So he's a faux Indian.
A Findian.
He was an Indian and now he's got it.
He's no longer an Indian.
I'm not going to be Indian.
I'm going to be Australian now.
Okay, I'm sorry.
He says, I can't take it anymore.
Decided to donate to the best podcast in the universe to stop grounding Ribbon from playing any more Bollywood clips.
My wife's constant watching of horrendous Indian soap operas now ruin TV for me and I don't want that crap on the show again, please.
Keep up the excellent work requesting a two-to-the-head fiscal cliff scream and general all-purpose karma if that's not asking for too much.
Regards.
Signed, tight arse Indian.
Ah!
You've got karma.
You got it.
I actually kind of enjoy that combination.
Yes.
Sir Alan Bowes in Langley, B.C., British Columbia, Canada, 6969.
My last trip, I once again opted out of the slave scanner.
Very good.
It was my first time receiving valet service, so I made sure to leave the TSA officer with one of my no-agenda business cards.
Value for value.
Don't eat me too delicious, please.
That's pretty funny.
What?
It's almost too delicious to believe, my friend.
Damien Taman in Perth!
Yeah.
The Paris of Australia?
There.
6969.
In the morning, Abdul and Jamal.
I know Abdul and Mallory need all the cash they can get for their move to Tent City.
Please give me some relocation, Karma, as I just moved to Briz Vegas.
Adios, mofos.
Wow.
On the second.
I'm fast enough.
Adios, mofo.
69!
69, dude!
That wraps it up.
You didn't give him his karma.
Oh, I just thought...
I'm sorry.
I thought he just wanted adios mofo.
Here's karma.
I'm karma.
I'm pouring it on.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Jonathan Rose, I believe, sent us a note.
I don't know if I forwarded it or not.
Hold on.
That's our Israeli listener.
I know that.
Rose, hold on.
You hit the donation button and forgot to leave a note.
I found it.
You got it?
He sent it 6819.
Okay.
This donation will take my total to 1,000 Israeli shekels.
Which is equal to $268.19.
Actually, you only donate.
Oh, you did $200 in the past.
I figure that's good for a Jewish knighthood because we're cheap.
Cheap pastors.
No.
No, no, you can't get away with this kind of terrible show.
No, no, that's not working.
Please call out Brian of London as a douchebag.
Douchebag!
Getting over the head a year ago and never, to my knowledge, donating himself.
So he wants to shut up already at science.
Dr.
Kiki's gravelly voice is bonerific.
Also some karma for Yar Lapid's Yesh Atid party in the Israeli election on Tuesday.
Is that one of those hot babes?
Have you seen the babes that are up for election in Israel?
Have you ever been to Israel?
No, have you?
Yes.
And?
Wow.
I know, the women are just smoking hot, right?
Yeah.
Especially in Tel Aviv.
Walking the streets, especially in the area where the boutique shop is.
What is that?
Is that because they're the chosen people?
Well, they're chosen for good-looking babes, that's for sure.
Well, I'm down with that.
Well, then Moses was right about something.
Good on you, Mo.
Shut up already!
Science!
You've got karma.
I have to admit, a lot of the Israeli women in the IDF, in uniform, there must be a pin-up calendar of Israeli girls in uniforms.
There probably is.
Send me a link.
Gerald Small in Chesterfield, Missouri, 6789.
Hi, guys.
Jerry and Liz here.
Just wanted to wish you a happy new year and drop a few pennies in the basket.
No need for call-outs, jingles, or any other tasks.
You both need...
You both...
And you both work hard enough as it is.
Seeing as you can't even read.
It's like a letter here.
What's that doing there?
I don't know.
Brian Pollack in Overland, Missouri.
Missouri, Missouri.
5510.
Heeding the call for the No Agenda Minute Men to step up and support the best podcasts in the multiverse in this time of need.
Some shut up science karma would be greatly appreciated.
Sorry.
Shut up already.
Science.
You've got karma.
I'm going to send a lawyer after us.
They're exploiting her.
Chris Perry, Rockville, Maryland, 5377.
Just helping out.
Plus, maybe if you all can send me some move back to California this summer, karma.
Really?
Yeah.
I miss living near Chico and Sacra-Crap-A-Mento.
Sacra-Crap-A-Mento.
Yeah, stuck in Maryland.
All right.
You've got karma.
Preston Thaler in Sonoma, California, 5360, with the comment, Fuck Anderson Cooper.
Is that an instruction?
I don't know what the deal is with him.
He apparently does not like Anderson Cooper.
I don't think so.
I guess he wanted us to say it.
Michael Bolling in Santa Barbara, California, 5150.
Hopefully I'm not deemed insane for donating to your show.
Otherwise they'll pump me full of pills and make me a good little slave.
Probably what's happening, you bet.
That's what's going to happen anyway.
Keep up the good work, Alfredo and Jorge, and keep the truth coming.
Jorge.
I think it's Jorge.
Eh, whatever.
Jeffrey Gerlach in Alamo, California.
Another 5150 from Jeff.
Hey, citizen.
Two to the head.
Shut up.
It's science.
Hey, citizen.
Oh, hot up already.
Science.
I don't know if you want karma, but...
You've got karma.
You've got the karma to go.
Karma to go.
All right, now a few left.
Erica Wilka in Rushaville, Indiana.
50.
ITM John and Adam.
It's a little value for value considering I got responses on emails from Adam at 4 a.m.
one day and 9 p.m.
the next.
I think that shows you guys work harder than I do.
I could use an Atlas Shrugged Karma.
Atlas Shrugged.
By Ayn Rand.
You've got karma.
Wow!
Wow!
You didn't even do the thing.
I've never done that.
That's on the clip.
You just changed the clip and now I see what you're up to.
Victor Norbrega.
Are you trying to get into Congress or something with this acting job?
No, I'm trying to get a job as an actor.
Victor Norbrega in Sydney, New South Wales.
50.
In the morning to you, Abraham and Disraeli.
As I am getting married on the 2nd of February, I thought it would be best for me to get some getting married karma.
Thank you, Adam, for the book suggestions on Twitter.
I will start a brave new world soon.
That's a great book, by the way.
Yeah.
Could I please get an easy read?
Could I please get a happy marriage karma from me and my darling Filipino beauty, Carissa, who only knows I listen to the podcast because she can hear the douchebag jingle from my headphones and refers to it as the in the morning show.
Uh-huh.
Thanks, guys.
Get her to listen.
Thanks, guys.
Keep up the good work.
Instead of a string of jingles, could John tell the chatroom just go fuck itself?
Do it again.
Do it again.
Hey, chatroom, go fuck yourself.
You've got karma.
We just...
I don't feel that way.
I'm just doing the request.
Yeah, uh-huh, yeah.
Eric Viet, $50 from Dublin, California.
Kyle Bauer, $50.
And that will conclude our people that helped produce this show.
Our producers, no agenda.
Go to Dvorak.org slash NA to help us with the Sunday show.
We'd appreciate it.
Try to get our numbers back so they're more normalized.
Yeah, it's always interesting how you have to bitch to remind people that this is the model.
But it's nice to see that when we remind people gently that this is our model, this is how it works, that we get certainly the Knights and the Minutemen to step up.
That's highly appreciated.
Thank you all very much for supporting the best podcast in the universe.
Dvorak.org.
Indeed, we'd like you to continue that throughout your lifetime.
And certainly for this coming Sunday, we've got a lot of stuff that we'll be working on.
We've got lots of C-SPAN to watch, lots of legislation to read.
I've got a couple things I want to share.
But first, we don't have birthdays, which is weird.
Not a single birthday call out for today?
Isn't that weird?
That's been a while that we haven't had that.
Yeah.
We do have a nighting here, so I think that that will be great.
We've got one night to bring in to the round table.
Good night.
Do you have your sticker?
Yeah, hold on a second.
There you go.
There it is.
Hans-Jörg, shout, step and see herein, my friends!
It is time for you to become a knight of the Noah General Roundtable for your donations in the amount of $1,000 or more, and we thank you very much for your support on the best podcast in the universe.
So I hereby pronounce the Sir Hans-Jörg!
Knights of the Noagina Roundtable for you, sir.
Hookers and Blow, Red Boys and Chardonnay.
Hot Pants and Booze, Wenches and Beer, Rubenes, Women and Rosé, Geisches and Sake, Vodka and Vanilla Bong, Hits and Bourbon, Sparkling Cider and Escorts, or Mutton and Mead.
And welcome to the Roundtable!
Your pin will be on the way once we figure out what to do with the radioactive stuff.
Whatever.
Whatever that is.
So, uh, you mean the paint?
Yeah, the radioactive paint pin stuff.
It's not radioactive, it's just reflective.
It's IR reflective.
I thought it was radioactive.
No, it's not radioactive.
No?
Oh, that's a bummer.
Did you see the hilarious bit of Pierce Moron?
No, I've relegated the Pierce Moron watching to you.
Even though you bitch and moan about this guy, you just seem to enjoy watching him.
Yeah, it's my guilty pleasure.
Some people do heroin.
I watch Pierce Morgan.
What can I tell you?
So, it's on with Dwight Yoakam.
You know, as a good old country boy, I like the Dwights when he's playing his country tunes, his git fiddle.
Pierce appears to be sick.
Five million records.
Dwight Yoakam is much more than a country superstar.
He's a talented actor with a lot to say about issues that matter to America.
Dwight's on his album.
There's three pairs.
Welcome to you, Dwight.
Thank you.
You're a singer.
Yeah.
You must have had...
Yeah, hold on a second.
He's obviously got the flu.
Well, you listen.
You can tell things are deteriorating.
Is there any advice you can give me?
Don't ever take a flu shot again.
Now, I watched that night with Dr.
Oz, and in difference to Dr.
Oz, I think he seems like a completely competent doctor.
And I don't understand any of the, you know, the kind of biological aspects of the, you know, of the meds.
But we're both doing the maths, aren't we?
We both saw him put that thing in my arm.
Yeah.
And within ten days, I was struck down.
And I just...
So he went on the Dr.
Oz show.
And got a shot.
And got a flu shot.
And ten days later, he's deathly ill.
I love that.
Yeah, well, this flu is really nasty.
Do you know, I have a feeling that this is a test.
Did you get that feeling at all that this might be...
No, this is just random.
I'm not buying it.
Okay, well, all of a sudden...
They don't have to do that.
I think they'd like to have the flu like this every year because then it forces more people to get the shot.
But the shot was curiously ineffective.
No, not only ineffective, it gave people the actual flu.
Well, I don't know about that.
Whatever the case is...
Oh, come on, John.
What do you mean?
I didn't get a shot.
I just used...
No, of course you didn't get a shot.
We had the flu in the house.
Of course you didn't get a shot.
You're a smart dude.
And I used the D3 trick and then I went with the prophylactic of Tamiflu.
And so I kind of went through the whole thing without catching it.
I think I'm sure I have the virus in me, but it's not doing anything.
Here it is, John.
Here it is.
The nasty flu, though.
It is idfchicks.curry.com.
IDF Chicks.
Oh, baby!
Oh, yeah.
You better go quick before the chat room blows my server up.
Thank you very much, Jonathan.
Jonathan donated, of course.
He's listening live.
So this is a whole bunch of hot Israeli chicks in uniform.
Oh my goodness.
They are the chosen people.
Are you looking?
Yeah, I'm looking.
Look at the one in the white uniform with the...
Oh man.
Number 10 or number 9?
Number 9.
You got it.
Nailed it.
Hello.
Hello.
Yes.
Hey, we have similar tastes.
Look at 13 and the one on the left there.
Holy crap.
13.
We're going down to 13.
Wow.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, 14!
Look at what's happening at 14!
Yeah, that one's...
But the thing is, this girl's got a smile on her face.
She knows it's full.
Yeah, well, I got a smile on my face, too.
This is...
Look at 17, if you want to see it.
I see it, I see it.
Oh, my goodness.
All right, all right.
That's not what our show's about, going on to the chive.
That's exactly what our show's about.
Here, by the way, is a reminder for those of you about...
This whole website, thechive.com, is nothing but...
You mean you subscribe to it?
Yeah, I subscribe to their feed.
It's nothing but girls' pictures.
Yes.
No, no, that's not true.
There's the sexy Chivers among them.
This is their audience.
I subscribe to the Chives RSS feed.
Absolutely.
They have random cool photos.
Look at Picture 26, by the way.
No, no, no.
We're not looking anymore.
I want to play you...
Oh, wait a minute.
You have to look at 27.
No, I'm not looking.
I'm not looking.
I'm not looking.
I have to play you the audio.
This is just because I found it.
Remember the vile rat?
He was one of the four who was killed in Benghazi?
Yeah.
This is his mom on Anderson Cooper about President Obama.
Why didn't it play?
Here we go.
And I still don't know.
In fact, today I just heard something more that he died of smoke inhalation.
So you don't even know the cause of death.
I don't even know if that's true or not.
No, I don't.
I don't know where.
I look at TV and I see bloody handprints on walls thinking, my God, is that my son's?
I don't know if he was shot.
I don't know.
I don't know.
They haven't told me anything.
They're still studying it.
And the things that they are telling me are just outright lies.
That Susan Rice, she talked to me personally and she said, this is the way it was.
It was because of this film that came out.
So she told you personally that she thought it was a result of that video, the protest?
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
In fact, all of them did.
All of them did.
Leon Panetta actually took my face in his hands like this.
And he says, trust me, I will tell you what happened.
And so far he's told me nothing.
Nothing at all.
And I want to know.
It's important for you to know all the details, no matter how hard or no matter how tough they are to hear.
Exactly.
I told them, if it's such a secret thing, fine, take me in another room, whisper in my ear what happened so that I know, and we'll go from there.
But no, no, they treat me like...
At first I was so proud because they were treating me so nice when I went to that reception.
They all came up to me and talked to me and everything.
I cried on Obama's shoulder.
And then he kind of looked off into the distance.
I love that clip.
He just looked off into the distance.
About three months, two months ago?
Yeah, of course.
Hold on a second.
The best podcast in the universe.
How did you even find that clip again?
Well...
The best podcast in the universe.
I mean, there you go.
So they had all these dances and all this bull crap, you know, and they had this, my favorite one.
I'm watching the Democracy Now!
and they go into this Dirty Wars thing where they're just accusing the administration of Obama being war criminals.
I'm going to play a couple back-to-back clips because the first clip...
It's Amy Goodman.
They show Obama and Michelle dancing while Jennifer Hudson's singing in the background.
And they're on a stage dancing just by themselves.
And Goodman is gushing.
Like, oh, this is the greatest thing ever.
What a great thing this is.
And then this woman's got to be nuts.
Hey!
Jennifer Hudson singing the Al Green classic, Let's Stay Together, for the Obama's first dance at the last night's Commander-in-Chief's Inaugural Ball.
This is Democracy Now!, democracynow.org, the War and Peace Report.
I'm Amy Goodman.
You are not the best podcast in the universe, lady.
So we can just play a little bit from that same...
Now she goes and sits down with these guys, and I'm going to play some of the really good stuff on Sunday, but play Dirty Wars beyond Bush Gitmo comments.
So, Dirty Wars.
Is it too cynical to say?
I mean, this is the fourth anniversary of President Obama promising to close Guantanamo.
It hasn't happened.
There's still...
Scores of men there, 166 men, something more than 80 of them have been cleared yet they're still there.
Is it too cynical to say that this dirty war, as you call it, the targeted killings, are a way to end all of these prisons?
because you don't detain the prisoners you simply killed them but that's what people like jack goldsmith and and other you know former bush legal advisors and national security team i mean the irony of these guys who have no moral standing to to to to talk about these issues are saying well obama's just killing these people at least we stuck them in some sort of a prison it's really it's devastating that this is what these bush people are saying about obama that's that's what they're alleging it's pretty funny I thought so.
She's so happy that they were dancing together.
Did you see President Carter?
He was there?
It's like insane.
The media is insane.
No, I did not see President Carter.
That must have been a hoot.
He had a pretty good quote.
I like it.
...for Israel, which has been one of my prayers for more than 30 years, and peace for their neighbors as well.
I just got back from China, and my concern is that there's an element of antagonism that is building between the United States and China, which could degenerate into a very serious confrontation.
I hope that will change, because when I left office, we had just normalized diplomatic relations with China.
Yeah, no kidding, Jimmy.
That's because we're kicking the Chiners out of Africa.
He's saying, I mean, at least he's saying it.
At least there's someone out there who's saying, hey, you know, maybe you want to back off on the Chiners a little bit?
You know, because, well, it's not just, we're mean.
We're just mean.
We're mean a-holes in the world.
We're doing it well, you know, we're definitely protecting our interests.
Yeah.
So, meanwhile, I ran into this little clip from the NewsHour again on NPR. They were discussing the legality of drones.
And I thought that this...
We've talked about this before.
We've probably had other clips like it, but I think people need to be constantly reminded about this because of this potential of this being a war crime.
And this is the kind of...
This is the legal case that's presented here that...
No one will let anyone read it.
Well, what we don't know is we don't even know to what extent this administration is relying on that 2001 AUMF, or are they relying on self-defense or some combination or nothing at all, right?
The legal opinion that was drafted by the Justice Department now a couple years ago has been so tightly held that even Senator Wyden, the number three ranking member of the Senate Intelligence Committee, which is supposed to have oversight, is not allowed to see the opinion.
So this is, it means that, and then the courts themselves are not applying due process.
They've declined to take the cases, the challenges to the program.
So it means that this is a completely, the checks and balances that should be applying don't apply here.
We don't have the courts having oversight, and we basically have the committees.
They're supposed to have oversight over this program being denied the basic information on what the law is.
And let me just ask you briefly here, because the other question that always comes up is what happens as other countries get this technology and use it against our allies or potentially against us and try to make the same legal case?
Yeah, this is, I read the actual, the judge's assessment to you.
Yeah.
And she called it the Alice in Wonderland case.
Because, she said, I know it, I've read it, I've judged it, it's completely legal, but because of the powers of the executive office, I can't actually tell you why.
And so shut up, slave.
Just shut up.
Shut up and stop asking questions.
It's anyway, it's sick.
So now I ran into a, there was a little thing, it was a brouhaha, and I've got a two-clip thing.
What is, please explain, a brouhaha.
It's like a big fuss.
It's like beyond, somebody made a fuss?
Mm-hmm.
If you make the worst kind of fuss, it's like beyond just a fuss.
A brouhaha.
Where does that come from, the word brouhaha?
I don't know.
It's an old word, though.
How do you spell it?
B-R-U-H-A-H-A. Really?
Like brouhaha.
And it's etymology.
Let's just find out for a second.
This is worth it.
Words do matter.
Here we go.
Brouhaha.
Okay.
Said by Gamal Shag to have been a medieval theater, the cry of the devil disguised as clergy.
I guess that's where it comes from.
So I got a two-part clip.
One is the Pat Robertson brouhaha followed by a horrid response.
Evangelist Pat Robertson is raising eyebrows, all right, for saying that, quote, Maybe to blame for failing marriages, in so many words.
A teenager...
I just found God.
Now, wait a minute.
Hold on a second.
So let me give a little setup here.
This was going on on MSNBC, and I think CNN was picking it up.
And you want to have a pause between these two clips, because this is one of those...
I'll set this part up.
It's one of those clips where you say, you know, that is the ugliest woman I've ever seen, and then you say...
That's terrible you'd say anything.
And besides that, you're ugly.
You know, it's just this, you can't be on both sides of the same argument.
And so what you're going to hear here is, and then you're going to hear the greatest laugh in terms of sick that you're ever going to hear.
But play this first.
So I'm playing them back to back or am I waiting in between?
No, no, you play one and then we're going to stop and then you're going to play the second.
And we're going to discuss.
Play one, discuss, stop.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
Televangelist Pat Robertson is raising eyebrows, alright, for saying that, quote, awful-looking women may be to blame for failing marriages, in so many words.
A teenager wrote to a magazine and asked how to get his dad to pay more attention to his mom.
This was Pat Robertson's response on The 700 Club.
It may be your mom isn't as sweet as you think she is.
How are you going to blame the mother?
It's easy to blame the mother.
You know, a woman came to a preacher that I know.
It's so funny.
And she was awful looking.
I mean, her hair was all torn up and she was overweight and terrible clothes, bad hair.
And...
She said, Oh, Reverend, what can I do?
My husband has started to drink.
And the preacher looked at her and said, Madam, if I was married to you, I'd start to drink, too.
Oh, my!
We need to cultivate romance, darling!
So, when I heard this, it was just like, oh, yeah, that's pretty funny.
But the MSNBC typical drones over there, they're all incensed by this.
And then, of course, they turn on him and say, well, he's not a good look, you know.
But then you have to listen to this woman.
And I wish I had written down who it was.
It's one of these part-timers.
You have to hear this second clip.
It's unbelievable.
Wow.
Hello?
Was he, like, trying to tell a joke on Bad there?
Pat Robertson has married his wife since 1954.
And he looks stunning.
Touché, touché.
Wow.
Hold on, what was that?
Wasn't that something?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Touche, touche. - Okay.
Wow.
It's like an old drunk.
Well, I've got to line that up for the end of the show.
Isn't that a great...
It's like, holy crap, what is wrong with you, lady?
Let me just set it up.
Was he trying to tell a joke on Bad Bear?
Pat Robertson has married his wife since 1954.
And he looks stunning.
Okay, I'll stop it there.
So I'll have that for the end of the show.
Yeah, that's good.
Well, this is what the media has become.
See, they all figured out that people are really interested.
News is free.
News is everywhere.
News is cheap.
That's why all these newspapers are going bust.
No one gives a crap about news.
The only thing that matters about news is the analysis of the news.
And since we don't have all the...
We got to hit the commercial breaks and we have all these corporate owners and we can't do this for all the sponsors.
Adam, we're coming to a hard break here.
We're going to have to stop discussing this.
Okay, that's right, yeah.
But in the meantime, John, what have you been learning?
So they all have to now just be comedians.
And by the way, Condoleezza Rice is joining, I think, CBS. So she'll now be a pundit along, you know, like...
When you get people in the political arena going into media, it just becomes one big incestuous cluster of poop.
It's just poop.
Prince Harry did an interview on the BBC where he had an interesting...
This is actually from The Nation, I think.
The protectorate of Canada is, of course, the Queen owns Canada, even though they won't admit it.
So it's important for them to do royalty news.
And so they rebroadcast what the prince said while he was interviewed out there in Kandahar.
Captain Harry Wales, as he's known in the British military, spent 20 weeks in Afghanistan serving as a gunner on an Apache helicopter.
He admits he shot at and killed Taliban fighters.
Yes, we fire when we have to.
Take a life to save a life.
So he says, take a life to save a life.
And this, of course, gets play with the people who are idiots in America on NBC. So they don't actually play the clip, but they all say, oh, did you see that horrible thing he said?
He talks about his missions, the missions he went on, where he was fired upon by the Taliban and returned to fire, killing some members of the Taliban.
And he takes it kind of matter-of-factly.
I know you've heard the interviews.
What do you think about it?
Is it okay?
Okay.
Man, I was really confused as to why the palace would permit the prince to give such an interview.
Why do you need to antagonize the Taliban?
Well, I thought he jumped the shark when he was shown playing video games, and then it was, oh my god, we killed people.
Why do you have to antagonize the Taliban?
You mean like they're not showing the bin Laden photos?
Is that what you're talking about, idiot?
This is news.
Unbelievable.
Don't antagonize the Taliban.
And that is their analysis?
What's their analysis?
Why would you want to antagonize the Taliban?
They could hurt us.
They could come here.
You know, they're in Mali now, you know.
They're all over Africa.
Just because they haven't done it doesn't mean they won't.
Just ask Hillary.
She said so.
I saw her.
She was slugging back some water.
right so I do have Oh yeah, I don't know, what was our last...
I hate to go back to this story, but what was the last commentary we had a show or two ago about Lanza and he didn't use any of these high-powered rifles and they only found a couple of pistols?
No, they found four pistols and no long rifle, no AR-15 in the school.
Okay, well, they had the latest update, which basically said the same thing.
Four pistols, no rifle, even though you pointed out that the original coroner said, oh, no, they were shot to death with a bunch of high-powered rounds and a rifle.
Oh, yeah, no, he testified, well, he didn't testify, but he said right there in front of the press, all of them shot with the long rifle, every single one of them.
This continues to be a very complex investigation, and there's a lot of contradictory information out there, but there is some new information.
This is the clip I played three weeks ago.
Well, I'm wondering where I got this clip.
Because this clip just ran.
Play my clip.
I think it's the same old clip.
This is your clip.
I'm playing your clip, which is the old clip.
Yeah, but why am I getting this clip now?
Why are they running this clip again?
They ran it on TV again?
Yeah.
Interesting.
I just picked it up yesterday.
Interesting.
We'll play it then.
...this morning from a couple of federal officials and state officials.
They say now that there were actually four handguns recovered inside the school, not just two, as we were initially told.
Four handguns and apparently only handguns that were taken into the school.
We knew that Adam Lanza, the man said to be the gunman here, also had an assault style, AR-15 style rifle that he had taken to the school that was in the car he drove there, his mother's car.
But we've been told by several officials that he left that in the car.
Well, this is obviously planted to, you know, there wasn't enough conspiracy talk.
No, no, I don't think this, I think you're missing the point.
Because with that last thing that happened in Texas with these two guys shooting at each other, I think they're morphing.
They've already got what they needed on the long rifle, the assault weapons, and the assault weapon won a ban.
They're going after handguns now.
I think this is morphed.
Interesting.
I happen to have a clip, because of course it happened nearby, of this Texas shooting.
Listen very carefully as to how conveniently coincidental.
The campus will be reopening tomorrow.
It has been safe for 40 years.
We think it's still safe.
The training that goes, and many people, were you prepared?
We have a 170-member police force at Lone Star.
They go through direct training on active shooter and others.
This was not an active shooter incident, but they go through training on how to deal with this.
But just within the last seven days on this campus, we've had three training exercises for faculty and staff.
Oh, well, isn't that coincidental?
It just so happens to me, we had three trainings!
Three, and this was not an active shooter incident.
Since when did this become like a noun?
Interesting.
An active shooter incident.
Well, of course they're going after everything.
Duh.
I don't think that's really a surprise.
Not to me, at least.
I'm just saying.
It's just that you're starting to be more noticeable if you start listening to the latest reports of the rifle thing is done.
They figured that.
They got that done.
Since you brought it up...
Big clips and rifles out.
Since you brought it up, an interesting discovery has been made in the conspiratorial circles of late.
Excuse me.
Oh, I threw up in my mouth.
A video that CNN shows, and they showed these packages over and over on the day of the shooting, includes, you see like a SWAT team running into the school?
Did you recall this?
No, I didn't see any of these videos.
So you see aerial footage of Sandy Hook, and then you see footage of a SWAT team running into the school.
Unfortunately...
Oh yeah, no, I saw that.
I thought you meant for the Houston event.
Yeah, unfortunately that's not Sandy Hook.
That is footage from a drill from an entirely different school.
Oh, really?
Uh-huh.
So they're just completely creating, they're phoning up the reports.
Yes.
In every way.
And when you do that...
But meanwhile, they're spending all their time bitching and moaning about lip syncing.
Isn't this the same thing?
Yeah.
Yes, indeed.
Indeed.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty interesting, isn't it?
It's, you know, it's a sickening situation.
I'm surprised.
I mean, luckily, we take a lighthearted approach toward this incompetence.
But it's not incompetence.
It's obviously meant to be just crap for your Obama-bot friends that you like to dine with to lap up.
Let me ask you about this.
You tell me what's going on with this report.
North Korea says it's going to carry out a third nuclear test and it will be aimed at its so-called arch enemy, the United States.
What is this about?
What?
Yeah.
Arch enemy?
What is this on RT? BBC, my friend.
BBC. Holy crap.
Listen again.
North Korea says it's going to carry out a third nuclear test and it will be aimed at its so-called archenemy, the United States.
The announcement by the military comes after the United Nations Security Council passed a new resolution on Tuesday increasing sanctions against the country after its long-range rocket launch last month.
So the way I see it is they're just making this up now.
Because, you know, it's like Kim Jong-un went, hey, we're going to shoot some nuclear crap at you, bitches.
No, they just make it.
There's no spokesperson.
There's no video.
There's no soundbite.
They just say, oh, North Korea said it.
So, you know, I got to look for Uncle Don now because, you know, he'll be on the National Treasure.
They always call him when it's about Korea since he was ambassador.
What do you think that is?
It's not enough for Hillary to set Africa on fire and the entire Middle East is on fire and now we've got to do North Korea?
We've just got to ratchet that up?
Chinese, it's got something to do with China.
Chiners, yeah, you're probably right.
Damn Chiners.
Damn.
Damn.
It's hard to keep track of all this crap.
A little shout out to our Human Resources and Gitmo Nation lowlands.
I thought it was very...
Here's a little report that I have here.
1.1 million pensions will be cut in April, according to the Dutch Central Bank.
That's a few.
Well, there's only 17 million people in the country.
Yeah, that's quite a few.
That's basically all pensions.
Around 75 Dutch corporate pension funds will have to reduce payouts this year, and 40 of them will have to make a further cut in 2014, according to Central Bank.
It's time to invest, and you know what?
Cat food.
Maybe we should start a cat food company.
Five funds cut their pensions at the end of 2014.
And by the way, the cat food should be sold kind of like a shrink wrap with a spoon.
With a plastic spoon.
A plastic spoon with the cat food.
Just like the ice cream thing where you peel it back.
How about two spoons for the whole family?
Husband and wife.
Husband and wife family pack.
I've always thought they needed to change the packaging of cat food.
Ah, you're bad.
So by the end of this year, all the country's pension funds are supposed to have brought their buffers back up to the required 105%, but 40 of the funds may miss this deadline, forcing a second round of reductions next year.
Jeez.
Oh yeah, this is like completely shut up slave.
Meanwhile, have you ever heard of the Dutch Sandwich?
The sexual position?
No, the Dutch sandwich is...
I actually have how it works.
So the Netherlands has almost no tax on intellectual property.
So Dell, just in 2011, paid 0.10% tax in the Netherlands...
On its $2 billion worth of profit.
You see, what they do is they...
Let me see.
I think there was like a one-liner here that I really liked as an explanation.
Here's how it works.
Let me see.
Essentially...
You know, you make the profits in like Ireland, except you charge the profits to your Dutch intellectual property company.
So the money, you know, you charge your own company for it.
Does that make any sense?
So it's basically, that's why they call it the Dutch sandwich.
So I guess the point is here, while the Dutch are being screwed with their pension funds, they are blowing Michael Dell.
By the way, it's not just Dell.
All these companies have...
Here it is.
Multinational companies routed...
Outrageous tax scams.
Check it out.
Multinational companies, according to Bloomberg, routed $13.5 trillion in 2010 through 14,300 Dutch special financial units.
$13.5 trillion.
And the companies that are screwing you, you, Shittison, Apple, Google, Yahoo, Dell, all companies that you purchase products from, that's it.
I'm not Googling anything anymore.
Screw those guys.
And Yahoo, Melissa, what's her name?
Marissa?
Screw you too.
That's not fair.
No, this is the whole scam.
I mean, we have this high tax rate, but it only works with the small companies.
I mean, the big guys, they pull these stunts.
But the Dutch, they should boycott these companies.
They're getting screwed on pension funds.
Yeah, no, it makes no sense.
You're running $13 trillion through their money launderers, and they're not benefiting from it.
Yeah, nor are we.
No.
How dumb are we?
I can't say anything.
We're just dumb.
Doing here, doing this stupid show.
Seven dead in Yemen on the drone strike this morning.
Hey now!
Good morning, everybody.
How you doing?
AQIP. AQAP, I'm sorry.
We're droning the crap out of Yemen right now.
Yeah, it's not just Yemen.
Are we keeping it on our running total?
Well, this is hard.
Yes, this one, but it says here in the report from the BBC, at least six more are reported to have been killed in strikes over the weekend.
I mean, there's not even a running total.
But this is Brennan.
Brennan's now the guy who's in charge of the kill list, and she means business.
No, he's apparently the architect of the drone system.
Yes.
He's probably got something to do with that legal opinion that makes it okay to do this.
Of course.
Of course he does.
And congratulations to...
What's her name again?
Do you remember the journalist who...
Lee McGrath Goodman, who was denied a visa to go and investigate the pedo bear stuff on the Isle of Jersey?
Oh, yeah, that was an old story.
Yeah, well, she got her visa.
Oh, good.
Well, maybe you'll get something out of it.
Apparently, there was...
Who was it?
Some important guy must have died.
No, Member of Parliament for Birmingham...
Yardley John Hemming put in a parliamentary question to Immigration Minister Damien Green about the delay of her visa, and then her visa arrived a few days later.
So, you know, I'm telling you, when this thing cracks open finally, and of course no one will believe it, but it'll be so obvious that the whole British elite system is just one big pedo bear suit.
The whole thing.
They're crazy over there.
Frighteningly so.
And the Dutch are involved.
And the Belgians.
We know it.
We know what you're up to.
All right.
Anything else?
Yeah.
Sex offenders allowed on Facebook.
Sex offenders allowed on Facebook.
Yeah.
Some lawsuit about that.
Big deal.
Yeah.
I didn't think you'd like that.
No, that's pretty much...
Oh, no, I do have something.
I do have something for your medley.
Thank you very much for sending me that, by the way.
You sent me your Bird is the Word medley?
Oh, yeah, right.
And I remember you did this with Louie Louie.
No, Louie Louie was different.
I had collected, and I'm still collecting these, by the way, and anyone who also has a Louie Louie done as a cover band, I have this huge collection of Louie, and I've got like five more.
No, that was just Louie Louie played by one band after another.
Yeah, you're hoarding Louie Louie.
Yes.
Okay, so you're also hoarding bird is the word.
I liked it.
I thought it would be a little more mash-up.
You kind of just like...
Bunch stuff together.
No, it was an inside-out thing.
I've got some theory about this.
I like it.
I like it.
It's releasable.
It's releasable, but you need to add this.
Brian, can I see that paper for a sec?
Huh.
That's odd.
I thought that would be big news.
You thought what would be big news?
Well, there seems to be an absence of a certain ornithological piece.
A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avian variety.
What are you talking about?
Oh, have you not heard?
It was my understanding that everyone had heard.
Heard what?
Brian, don't!
Did you have this one?
Yeah.
No, I have that.
I have that whole episode.
That's the one where Jesus is in.
That is actually probably, I think, the finest episode of Family Guy ever.
Because I don't know how they managed to make this transition from the bird is a word to Jesus, who's working at a record store.
Yeah.
Who they bring into the, you know, they make him come out as such, and then it goes to his head, and he becomes a big rock star.
I mean, it's just the craziest episode.
People should track it down.
You remember that Miss Mickey and I went to a table read.
We actually witnessed, because one of her girlfriends in LA, her then, I think husband now, he's a writer on the show.
And so he invited us over, because when they do the table read, there's a small audience of maybe 20 people, because they want to gauge the response.
I have to say, it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen when it comes to a creative process.
And the thing that I noticed immediately, which I thought was kind of fun, is, what's his name, Seth?
What's his name?
He has Tourette's.
He has the exact same Tourette's I do.
Oh, that's funny.
Next time you see him, watch him, you know, I call it a jidget.
You don't see him too often.
I call it a jidget.
Why do I call it a jidget?
I've never heard that, but you would be able to spot him a mile away.
So when he's at the table, he does all the voices, right?
He does several of them, yeah.
But then his head is like, he has a little tick with his head.
It's exactly what I have.
That's funny.
Which means one day I'll have his bank account.
It seems unlikely.
Yes, it does seem rather unlikely, doesn't it?
Oh well.
Alright, so...
Are we doing anything for end of clip?
End of show clip?
No, I think we're good to go.
I think we're done.
Yeah, I agree.
Just play that woman laughing and we're good to go.
Yeah, that'll do it.
I sincerely thank you, John C. Dvorak, for your entertaining clips today.
You had a good run.
Well, I think you had a better run.
I don't know about that.
Of something.
Yeah.
I gotta run.
And we are still about to be homeless in a couple of weeks, as no home fits us as of right now.
So we're working on that.
And thank you to Gitmo Slave.
Welcome back.
Glad to see you back and alive.
Thank you very much, Mr.
Oil, Void Zero, Buskill Jr., and Mimi and Mickey and everybody else.
There you go.
We'll be back on Sunday.
Remember to support us.
Our value for value is in full effect, and you know it.
Coming to you from Drone Star State.
In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley.
We're at sunshiny all the time.
I'm John C. Dvorak.
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