Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

All Episodes

Previous Next

Nov. 1, 2012 - No Agenda

02:41:31

457: Giblet in EUROLand

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	All the girls get together with your dead body in the middle.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	That's Thursday, November 1st, 2012.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 457.
	This is No Agenda.
	Wearing my Air Force One flight jacket for maximum effect here in the capital of the Drone Star State, Austin Tejas.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where it's raining here, but not like it's raining there, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Craig Vaughn and Buzzkill in the morning.
	Yeah, I was just watching the president.
	He's in Wisconsin with his Air Force One flight jacket.
	Does it say Air Force One on it?
	It says Air Force One on it.
	You know, it's like a leather flight jacket.
	It's a souvenir.
	A souvenir jacket.
	But it's got all the patches on it and everything.
	It's the perfect outfit.
	What's he got patches for?
	What does he got patches?
	President.
	What would he be wearing?
	Was he hanging out with Petraeus?
	You know, this is what they do.
	This is what our presidents do in time of emergency.
	We've got to dress up a little bit.
	Come on.
	This is what I expect from my president.
	So you were a little wrong on the storm theory.
	Oh, now it's just me.
	Who started off with the turn left thing?
	Please, please.
	Well, we got straightened out about the left turn, which was pretty funny, because if you saw it in a stop action, it kind of goes and turns left.
	It's like a good hook in a bowling alley.
	It's like, wow!
	The best explanation came from, you know the guy that I like, that crazy scientist who's always talking, the Asian guy with the white hair?
	Yeah.
	Michu Kaku?
	Yeah.
	The guy who's the string theory guy?
	Yeah, I think that's the guy.
	He was on with Anderson Pooper, and this was the first time someone actually gave a good explanation on television.
	That's right.
	The hurricane from hell.
	I like this guy.
	The hurricane from hell.
	Speakers just a tad lower, John, if you can.
	Just a tad.
	Just a little bit.
	Well, you're screaming into it.
	Well, I'm excited.
	I'm happy to see you.
	It was created by a collision of three large air masses creating an animal that we've never seen before.
	We've never seen it.
	It was an animal?
	It was an animal.
	We've never seen it.
	Ordinary hurricane off the coast of Florida.
	Then you have the jet stream coming in from the Arctic, going all the way down to Florida, colliding with this hurricane.
	And then you have another storm coming in from the west.
	The merger of three large air masses created a new animal.
	A new animal.
	The likes of which we've never seen before.
	He's leaving out the fourth element, which is one of the key elements of the whole thing, which is the high tide.
	Yes, indeed.
	Well, that's really what did everybody in.
	It was a super high tide, and you left out the fifth one, a full moon.
	Ooh, exactly.
	Which was pulling the tide worse.
	So you ended up with this apparently a fort.
	Now, here's what bothers me about what we did when we missed on our discussion.
	Is that there were apparently, and Buzzkill Jr.
	pointed this out to me, there was apparently a big rift between the meteorologists going on and the crackpot meteorologists, which we should have sided with, all said that there was going to be a 14-foot seawall Which was going to hit New York, not with the force of a tsunami, but it's going to just hit and flood the town, which it did, including the subway system, which is going to be out now, I guess, until November.
	It is November, yeah.
	Listen to Michu's, Michu Bukake, the rest of his explanation, because he kind of goes into that.
	He looked at, you know, oh, it's a Cat 1 hurricane.
	On paper, that doesn't look so bad.
	You can't use the ordinary nomenclature of hurricanes.
	Hurricanes are smaller and faster.
	This was humongous, 800 miles across, and velocities were much lower.
	But the amount of energy stored in it was huge because of the warm water from the Caribbean fed by the energy from the jet stream.
	And this is a very unusual pattern that caught scientists off guard.
	Was there any way to better prepare for it?
	It's hard to predict these things because, first of all, you have the Caribbean, the Gulf of Mexico, heating up, possibly due to global warming, and that's the basic energy.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's just the beginning of it.
	It drives all these hurricanes.
	He does say possibly.
	I give him points for saying possibly.
	The energy difference between that and the Gulf, the jet stream, coming in from the Arctic, colliding with it.
	What did you find most, I mean, from a scientific standpoint, most interesting about it, most surprising?
	Most surprising is our computer simulations are not good at modeling the collision of two air masses.
	Here we had three air masses being colliding.
	Oh, but we can predict global warming.
	And so we were basically...
	Possible global warming.
	...powerless to give an accurate computer simulation of the collision of these three air masses.
	Before we went on air, we were just talking about some of the things that have gone wrong in New York.
	That crane which is dangling, the NYU Medical Center, the backup generator not working.
	And you were pointing out it's just little things, little mistakes that are made that can have a big impact.
	Mother Nature is showing us who's really boss.
	Yeah, I like that.
	That's what I like.
	Mother Nature is showing you who's boss.
	That's what's going on here.
	The thing is, though, if you look at the reporting now, today, in fact, this came in just on U.S. News this morning, all the crackpots, and I don't want to be a part of this now.
	All the crack parts are saying, headline, conspiracy theorists say Obama engineered Hurricane Sandy.
	Oh, please.
	See, I was very careful.
	Who comes up with this crap?
	Let me see.
	Infowars, Intel Hub, Conspiracy News.
	How can people keep listening to these phonies?
	Yeah, well, I mean, I'm just as big on harp as the next guy.
	I will say this.
	My goodness, what a coincidence.
	Look at how...
	I mean, to me, it's like this thing happened.
	The Republicans went, you know what?
	Give it to Obama.
	Like, give it to him.
	We didn't want that.
	We didn't want the next four years anymore.
	Hey, Christy, just, dude, pipe it up.
	Give it to him.
	Hey, didn't we just see Christy two years ago?
	We're just doing the same thing.
	The exact same thing.
	Let's talk about this because we discussed this on email a little bit.
	I want to mention it.
	And I put it in the newsletter.
	Can I just say up front, I lived in New Jersey for 14 years.
	It seems to flood a lot.
	Yes, when it rains in New Jersey, it floods.
	I mean, we have flood plains all over the place.
	And I was not in, like, Tom's River.
	I was in North Bergen.
	It floods in New Jersey when it rains.
	Well, this doesn't sound right.
	What do you mean?
	Well, I mean, it seems to me...
	I don't want to...
	I don't want to sound like a sore loser or anything.
	But, I had a friend who lived in a flood plain.
	And he, in the Sebastopol area.
	And he banked on getting flooded every two to three years.
	It didn't happen every year.
	It was long enough that he could keep his insurance going.
	And every time he got flooded, he had a huge claim.
	And he actually profited from this house.
	He kept rebuilding his home.
	Well, it wasn't rebuilding a home.
	It was just damage.
	It was mostly, you know, I don't think anybody lives in a floodplain thinking their house is going to get wiped out.
	They think the basement's going to get flooded.
	They're going to have some mildew problems.
	They're going to have a claim.
	Right.
	And that's what he did every year.
	He'd have some claim.
	His whole garden got wiped out, so he had to get landscaping one year.
	It was one thing after another, and it never ended.
	And he used to work as an insurance adjuster.
	So he knew the game.
	He knew the game.
	In fact, he told me once, and this is a tip for anybody out there.
	He says, you go drive around in a...
	I'd never done any of this, by the way, but he told me some of these tricks.
	But this is a good one.
	He says the best thing in the Oakland area was that people would drive, Lake Merritt was a place where there's a lot of old ladies driving around, and you'd drive around the lake, it's a circle, and you'd get in front of a car, and you'd always check, you'd spend most of your time looking at your rearview mirror.
	If you saw some woman go for her lipstick and start putting lipstick on in the mirror of her own car, you slammed on the brakes, let her rear-end you, Yeah.
	And then you collect.
	There was a dog in the road.
	And then, and you, by the way, the key, he said, this is a tip for everybody out there.
	He says the key to success in all this is you can't allow yourself to be moved from the car.
	I can't move my neck, my neck.
	You just say that.
	And you make an ambulance pick you up and take you to the hospital.
	Well, what can I say?
	We're not that smart in New Jersey.
	We just go like, well, okay, literally.
	Oh, right.
	Yeah, the New Jersey guys would never do anything like that.
	So, of course, now, let's just say up front, we're laughing.
	Obviously, it's sad.
	And I'm really saddened because what I think is happening as this unfolds before us is we are seeing the actual collapse of society as we know it.
	Now it's really taking place.
	Now you're seeing it.
	I have a lot of friends who live in Tom's River.
	Which is right down there by the Jersey Shore, but it's really behind the islands.
	And so they got flooded.
	Their basements are flooded.
	Not the first time.
	Not the second time.
	Not the third time.
	But the basements are flooded.
	But they were evacuated.
	They came back.
	And it was a mess.
	But you know what it was a mess from, John?
	Not just from flooding.
	From looting.
	See, now that hasn't been well reported.
	Oh, at all.
	At all.
	There is tons of moving.
	They just don't want to report it.
	I mean, that's funny you bring this up because when I was looking at some of these guys, there's a guy who said, I'm staying here because I'm going to protect my property, and this is all I've got.
	And this house was fine, it looked like to me, except it was a mess.
	And obviously the basement was flooded.
	But he wasn't going to be evacuated.
	And he said this, and I thought to myself, you know, if this was in San Francisco, the World Series was won by the Giants, and they had looting.
	I mean, in the Bay Area, they'll do looting at the drop of a hat.
	No, it's crazy.
	Why do people...
	That's what I mean.
	This is the collapse of society.
	And there was looting going on in New York.
	There was tons of looting.
	There had to be.
	Yeah, but it's, well, on the one hand, of course, you know, if you report it, then it hypes it.
	But, you know, they hype everything else.
	Yeah, but they didn't have any trouble reporting looting in New Orleans with black people.
	Yeah, true.
	You know, taking some food from a store.
	True, true.
	But I just see how helpless people have become and entitled people have become in these situations where it's like neighbors aren't helping each other out anymore.
	In fact, this little piece, my favorite, our favorite guy, Michael Moore, was on with Pierce Moran.
	And, of course, Michael Moore has his agenda.
	But he had a very interesting conversation about people fighting in Manhattan to get onto the bus.
	In your first segment, though, your reporter, was it Jason?
	Yeah.
	Was his name?
	Mentioned that there were people fighting to get on the buses here today.
	And I've noticed other people said this.
	There's just a little more of an edge today than, say, there was a few days after 9-11 where nobody would push or shove or yell at anybody.
	He brings in 9-11.
	Nobody would honk a horn.
	And I think with this, at least with 9-11, we knew there was an enemy, there was somebody who did this, Al-Qaeda and Bin Laden, whatever.
	Who did this?
	Who did this to me?
	Why am I... Now, listen to...
	Piers Morgan doesn't pick up on it.
	He changes the topic, but Michael Moore will come back to it.
	...to walk 10 miles to work or fighting to get on this bus.
	Where does my anger go?
	It's not going to go toward Mother Nature.
	I'm not going to really be able to deal with that, so...
	Do you think, from everything you've seen and heard, that the authorities have done enough?
	Were they prepared enough for this?
	Well, they weren't prepared, but only in the sense that they haven't accepted that we are going to have more and more and more of this because of the climate change.
	Until they all get together on that and then work very hard.
	So where do you go with your anger?
	You can't be angry at Mother Nature because that makes no sense because it's Mother Nature.
	You have to be angry at other people who are exuding CO2. Wasteful human resources.
	With a truck.
	Useless eaters!
	Yeah, you're driving a car.
	You're useless.
	I'm going to be angry at you.
	This is a tremendous opportunity that has presented itself here.
	We have the Republicans saying, whew, finally we got an easy way out.
	We didn't want to win anyway.
	So give it to the Democrats.
	Give it to Obama.
	The Democrats are probably like, oh crap, now we got it.
	Alright, well enjoy Obama.
	So he's taking it.
	He's dressing up in his flight jacket.
	And we've got the global warming crazies out in droves.
	Just in droves.
	Go look on Twitter.
	It's like, this is what global warming looks like.
	And they show a picture of the crane.
	The broken crane.
	Literally, this is what global warming looks like.
	It melted the crane, that warming.
	And I was so amazed by Lucy Napolitano.
	You know, she's good.
	She was speaking yesterday at a cyber conference, which we'll talk about more, because it was put together.
	Oh, you mean the woman who doesn't even know how to use a computer?
	Yeah, that's the one.
	We'll talk about it more when we get into some cyber war stuff.
	Well, let me throw a couple of clips in here while you're at it.
	Can I just play her 45-second bit?
	Oh, I thought we were going to do it later.
	No, no, we're going to do this now and the other stuff later, just this one.
	Oh, okay, hit it.
	We've seen thefts of significant intellectual property, intrusions into significant contractors with the United States.
	Hold on a second, do I have the right one here?
	No, I have the wrong one.
	Here it is.
	This is the one.
	This is the one I wanted.
	We've seen thefts of significance.
	No, I keep doing the wrong one.
	What is this?
	Sounds like the same clip.
	Yeah, it does.
	What's going on?
	This is weird.
	Let me see an attack.
	Let me try.
	But just think of this.
	As Mary mentioned, the nation is under attack constantly.
	Um...
	Uh...
	I don't think that's the one.
	On cyber.
	It is an area that I have seen grow in sophistication and number in the almost four years I have been secretary.
	Cyber.
	Secretary Panetta at DOD has sounded the alarm, and I do as well.
	One of the possible areas of attack, of course, is Attacks on our nation's control systems.
	The control systems that operate our utilities, our water plants, our pipelines, our financial institutions.
	And if you think that a control system attack that takes down a utility even for a few hours is not serious, just look at what is happening now that Mother Nature has taken out those utilities.
	Wait a minute.
	It's supposed to be global warming.
	It's not Mother Nature.
	Well, that's the funny part.
	I think that's the funny part about it there.
	I have a couple of clips.
	I actually wanted to stick with the Pierce Morgan, but now you've changed the subject.
	Let's play a couple of these clips that show what's really going on.
	And the big promoter, of course, of power grid upgrades would be none other than General Electric.
	Oh, hold on.
	So let's start with Marie Bartiromo on CNBC. Wait a minute.
	Let me just make the connection.
	CNBC, an NBC affiliate owned by General Electric.
	Well, this was a freak storm.
	It's demonstrated that when our outdated power grid is tested, it fails.
	Now, of course, we cannot control such things as the weather, so let's focus on what we can.
	I disagree with that.
	Hello?
	I'd like to disagree that we can control the weather?
	How we can improve our infrastructure, like our power grid.
	To me, this storm and the massive power failure should be a clarion call to address our antiquated grid to better withstand such uncontrollable events.
	Which, GE, will bring good things to life.
	Yeah, GE's good at this.
	Now play Here's Brian Williams on NBC. Oh, no.
	Is this the one or the two?
	This is the one.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Millions of Americans in this part of the country are in the dark tonight.
	Some of them are packed in mighty tight here in New York City.
	Many of them are along an aging power grid that, if we're not careful, might finally get a good long look at as we are forced to deal with our aging infrastructure.
	Aging infrastructure!
	Aging just like him.
	By the way, one time is not enough, and in a different version of the show, he does it again.
	Cities separated by one block.
	Raises a lot of questions, doesn't it, about the power grid, our aging systems.
	You know, I happen to have one.
	Do you have another one?
	Because I got one, too.
	I got one more.
	Oh, what's your one more?
	Now here's the one where Harry Smith gives a report about the miserable power grid, but he can't resist mixing his messages and throwing in a little global warming.
	That was Hurricane Irene.
	Many a climate scientist say there is a reason this is happening.
	We're seeing more and more extreme weather events leading to greater and greater economic damages.
	And I'm very suspicious that climate change is an important player for many of these.
	Whatever the reason, these storms put the power grid at risk.
	And for the time being, massive power outages are an inevitable reality.
	Clark Gellings of the Electric Power Research Institute says building a power grid that can withstand these storms is just not economically feasible.
	It would be nearly impossible to make the investment that would be necessary to say that we could be 99.999% reliable.
	We make some rationed decisions and we make a few compromises.
	We do that on behalf of the consumers that are served in the industry because if you were to gold plate the power system, nobody would be able to afford electricity.
	But even a gold-plated power grid might not be able to withstand unprecedented natural catastrophes.
	Let me play my clip then, because this is from MSNBC, the NBC being part of GE. Here's my favorite and yours, Rachel Madcow.
	I have a modest proposal.
	How about this?
	So, sometimes power goes out because of transformer explosions or because of inundations of water.
	More frequently, power goes out because a tree falls down on the power line.
	How about we do a big stimulus project for the country?
	A big infrastructure stimulus project, wherein all of the places where the power went out because of Hurricane Sandy or because of something else in the past year, where the power went out because trees fell on the lines?
	Trees are going to fall on the lines again.
	How about in all of those places we have a big nationally funded investment in infrastructure to bury the power lines?
	How about that?
	Who would think that's a bad idea?
	Well, GE certainly wouldn't.
	I have to say a couple of things.
	Okay.
	First of all, Harry Smith, and I don't have the clip, unfortunately, because I couldn't find it, but there was a couple of clips.
	In fact, Buzzkill Jr.
	screamed out loud when the guy says, we've got to get rid of these trees.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So I think, holy crap, they're going after the trees now because they're falling on these power lines.
	And by the way, New York City is all underground power lines.
	What the hell is she talking about?
	The reason they shut it down is because apparently they put these things...
	Here's the question I'll ask you.
	They can run a transatlantic cable all the way from London all the way across the ocean.
	Originally it was electrical in terms of wiring, but now it's mostly fiber optics.
	But there's electronics all along the way so the thing works.
	How can they bury a cable under an ocean, but they can't bury the power lines under New York City without worrying about them getting flooded and shorting out?
	Well, this kind of leads to the point that I was going to make.
	So transformers is a different issue.
	You don't necessarily have...
	I'm not familiar with undersea cables and if they have transformer stations on the bottom of the seabed, but you do have transformer stations that you need, and if these get wet, then they can explode.
	But the interesting...
	Here's a real fact for you.
	Well, how wet do they have to get?
	Because it rains quite a bit.
	I don't know.
	I mean, I don't know these things.
	But the explosion...
	That was a gas-fired electrical plant.
	I will point out that there was an explosion there.
	That did take out a lot of the grid.
	But 34 of the 37-area nuclear plants all functioned perfectly, didn't shut down.
	Three shut down with precautionary measures, as they were supposed to.
	I'm now of the mindset, John, that I'm going to go all in with global warming and I'm going to say climate change or whatever the hell you want to call it.
	I'm in.
	I will believe that science as long as you accept the science that thorium nuclear reactors can be perfectly safe as is proven, proven here in this example.
	There was no explosion.
	There was no danger.
	They tried to hype it up a little bit.
	But what actually happened is the gas-fired plant blew up, not the nuclear plants.
	And that is what took down the portion of southern Manhattan.
	By the way, they shut down before anything occurred.
	I mean, they just shut everyone off in the southern part of the island.
	Here's the kind of an interesting thing that I thought was a slip-up.
	This is Pierce Morgan talking about how bad, you know, Pierce Morgan, I think at some point doesn't even know he's an elite.
	He's forgotten.
	Well, I don't think he ever knows.
	He's an idiot.
	Yeah.
	And he's like a dumb British twit type guy, you know.
	And, well, he's British.
	So he puts, he says this crazy thing, and as soon as he said it, I'm thinking, wow, there's a, like, we know where the elites in New York live.
	Quite amazing scenes.
	New York's very much a city at the moment of two halves.
	In Manhattan, on the Upper East, where I have an apartment, it's pretty normal.
	People going about their normal lives.
	Anything below sort of 38th Street is total chaos and blackouts and flooding.
	And clearly where you are, just over the water, the same kind of scenario.
	So it's a really strange kind of double life going on now for New Yorkers.
	But for now, Gary, thank you very much.
	Well, the elites go down.
	They have their weekend pied-à-terres in the village.
	Everything is normal.
	Everything normal.
	Everything okay.
	Keep calm.
	We're all good up here.
	I can still go to Zabars.
	That's the Upper West Side.
	Same thing.
	But seriously, John, it is so interesting.
	And this is kind of the only takeaway I have from this.
	That people go all in and believe the science will blatantly accept the climate change as fact.
	I mean, there's no fighting it.
	You and I can laugh and chuckle and scoff all we want, but there's no fighting that.
	But when you say, okay, well then you need to look at the actual science of nuclear, today's modern nuclear, not 60-year-old technology, today's modern nuclear, it is the actual definition of sustainability.
	You can reuse nuclear thorium waste as fuel again.
	It's the size of a football.
	It's no longer these green vats of goo.
	So that's going to be my mission from now on, is to come up with different ways to hit people in the mouth and say, I'm so on board with climate change.
	Absolutely.
	So, have you looked at the science of nuclear?
	And they go, oh, Fukushima man, oh, Three Mile Island man.
	Yeah?
	Oh yeah?
	Oh yeah?
	Do they talk like that?
	It's exactly how they talk.
	Man.
	Fukushima, man.
	Like my fish irradiated.
	I gotta get some iodine tablets, man.
	You know, people who listen to this show will even get angry at me for saying this.
	But that's because you haven't looked at the science.
	Science, I'm telling you.
	Science.
	The science is in!
	So that's it.
	From now on, no more laughing at global warming from me.
	It's all true, and I think the only way out is nuclear.
	Okay.
	Are you on board with this?
	Are you on board with the program?
	Why not?
	I don't care.
	Just because you have less years to go?
	That's not fair.
	I got a couple decades at the most.
	I think couple is exactly it.
	I think about that.
	I get like, what am I going to get if I don't get hit by a bus?
	If I don't get, you know, knocked down by...
	They have buses in Texas?
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	They got buses here.
	Well, I got like 30 years maybe.
	I'd be 80.
	You think I'll make it past 80?
	You think I'll make it to 90?
	You?
	Yeah.
	You think I'm halfway?
	I'd like to see you.
	I think it'd be fun if you got to 90.
	Yeah.
	Hey!
	Can you imagine me with my Tourette's at 90?
	I mean, it's like...
	So there's a couple of things, just to wrap up this thing about the word there's They were trying to, you know, before they could get any helicopters in the air so they could actually do real reporting, they were trying to make up as much as they could.
	Of course.
	So they had guys standing in puddles.
	Did you see the one where the guy was in South Jersey, like Atlantic City, and then the guys came out in bathing suits and were dancing.
	Jumping around.
	That was funny.
	I like that, yeah.
	But my favorite one was they were showing that, well, this global warming thing is creating a blizzard in West Virginia.
	And so they put the guy in an area.
	Now, I have to say that I would assume by the name of the town that it might actually snow there in other situations other than this crazy confluence of weather.
	It was Snowshoe, West Virginia.
	Yeah.
	And then it turns out to be a ski place.
	It's a ski resort.
	It's a ski resort.
	And it's snowing there.
	Stop the presses.
	It's snowing in a ski resort.
	That's funny.
	So they tried to make a story out of that which went nowhere.
	And the guy was nudnik with us.
	He grabbed the snow and he put it against us.
	This is heavy, heavy snow.
	The kind that breaks trees.
	Yeah.
	But he was up in an area with all these pines that obviously weren't going to put up with a lot.
	But the one thing that really got me, there was, and you kind of touched on it earlier, I wanted to get to it before we changed the subject.
	There was a rundown I watched, this clip is the storm rundown, and there was this guy, and I don't know if it was the woman's husband who was taking the video, but you remember that double rainbow guy who was stoned and going on and on?
	This womanization of the American male, which is epitomized by this clip, where the guy watches a tree fall over, it just almost actually sickened me.
	I think it's the feminization.
	Feminization of the American male.
	Feminization, right.
	Feminization.
	Yeah, just play it.
	I took ground zero.
	Lower Manhattan was plunged into darkness.
	I bet!
	Electricity generators exploded in spectacular fashion.
	What's going on?
	I don't know what's going on.
	It's no cocaine.
	Oh!
	Oh, my God!
	Many cars were damaged by falling trees felled by the high winds.
	I hit your car!
	Oh, my God!
	Oh, my God!
	I hit my car!
	Oh, my God!
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Hold on.
	This is New York's Lower East Side, okay?
	This is the East Village, John.
	This may be kind of typical for the area.
	Maybe, but I don't think so, because this was a neighborhood with a bunch of trees, and there was a driveway with a car in it.
	There's nothing in the lower part of Manhattan that has this...
	This is somebody in the suburbs.
	He's either in Queens, God knows where.
	But this guy was hysterical.
	Right.
	You've got to play that last part again, just to get it burned in your brain.
	Yeah, but I'm...
	Yes.
	Hold on a second.
	I already dumped it.
	The guy needs to grow a couple.
	Yeah.
	Well, again, I think this is the...
	It just takes me a second before I can fast forward.
	I think this is...
	No, I don't think...
	This is...
	No, this is just your...
	This is a typical American male in today's world.
	Oh!
	Oh, my God!
	Many cars were damaged by falling trees felled by the high winds.
	I hit your car!
	Oh, my God!
	Oh, my God!
	I hit my car!
	Oh!
	No, no, no, no, no.
	No, I'm sorry.
	This is not your typical American male.
	I'm just going to have to disagree.
	Well, you're living in Texas where there's less of them.
	I live in Austin, okay?
	Well, there's lots of them there, too.
	This is not your...
	No, no.
	I'm just going to say I don't think this is your typical male.
	Okay, well, I just thought...
	I was offended by that.
	You were offended?
	Really?
	The BBC is trying to insult America with that guy screaming like a woman.
	This was a BBC clip?
	Yeah.
	It's a BBC clip, those bastards.
	That's so funny.
	Well, you know what?
	We're going to have a fantastic benefit concert.
	That's going to come out of it.
	That'll be great.
	I forgot you're right.
	Definitely.
	We're going to have a live aid of some sort.
	It's going to be headlined by Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, the whole Jersey Shore.
	Oh, yeah.
	Bruce Springsteen's got to be the headliner.
	Snooki's going to be there with all of the Jersey Shore crew.
	And, of course, we're going to collect a crap load of money.
	And they're going to keep it.
	Yeah, well this is the one thing we do have to discuss.
	Because no longer, I mean, and this is where Mitt Romney made a huge mistake.
	Actually, I should play that clip in a second.
	So the way, when I was growing up, what people needed...
	When something like this happened, because this did happen.
	I'm old enough to say, I remember when disasters happened in America, and we would do a food drive, and we'd collect food, and then some brave dudes would get in their trucks, and they'd drive for five days to wherever the disaster area was, and they'd show up, and they'd have the trucks, and they'd feed people and give them nutritious stuff and blankets and water, exactly the kind of stuff that Clinton and Bush didn't want for Haiti.
	We just need cash.
	I know a lot of people want to send blankets or water.
	Just send your cash.
	And, of course, we know what happened with Haiti.
	You sent your cash, and we still have 300,000 people living in tents, eating dirt with elephantitis and cholera, pooping their guts out.
	Which, by the way, is worse now because apparently the storm wiped out the crops, so now their starvation is the third element now.
	And nobody's doing anything.
	Maybe they should just chop everyone's leg off.
	It's like, hey, take this.
	See if it can get any worse for you.
	But that's a nice hotel up there in the distance in the hills.
	So that's what happens with these aid organizations.
	And it's so funny because immediately you get the Red Cross out there and no one ever really looks at what Red Cross does.
	Please, if you investigate what they did in Haiti, yeah, we know how to funnel the money and we know how to do everything.
	It just doesn't really work that well.
	But people fall for it.
	And there's all this, you know, text Red Cross to 909 or 9 or 9 or 9 or 9 or 9 or 10 dollars.
	Everybody do it now and your conscience is clear, but you're not really helping.
	And then enter this whole conversation, as the New York Times wrote, that big disaster needs big government.
	And this is a conversation worth having.
	Because I'm not so sure that this is working out the way it's intended.
	When I filled out my tax form this year...
	There were still like five different boxes you could check if you were a victim of Exxon Valdez, a victim of Katrina, a victim of the Gulf, a victim of this, a victim of that.
	Then you get to deduct all this money.
	It can go on forever.
	It just can't.
	And when something bad happens and you live in an area where something bad can happen, like here in Texas, I can burn the F up.
	We can have a wildfire and it can burn and that's the risk that I take for living here.
	You live at the Jersey Shore, you can drown.
	At what point do we say, okay, we can't be bailing everyone out of where they live and things that happen?
	And is that a crazy thing?
	Is it crazy for me to think that way, John?
	No, and in fact, I think you're probably, you know, because they don't, the thing is they don't bail people.
	They just throw money at it if they do anything.
	Most of the time they don't even do that.
	And I'm reminded of the thing that I don't have clips on it, but, so you had this situation where Romney's a classic Mormon and they did a big food drive.
	I have the clip.
	You want the clip?
	Yeah, let me just set it up.
	There's a food drive, which apparently is not what the big government wants, and so Obama has to come out and condemn him, essentially.
	Yeah.
	Well, it wasn't just Obama that came out and condemned him.
	It was MSNBC who outed him as a fake and a phony.
	And the death count was climbing in New York and elsewhere.
	Traditional political decency dictated that Mitt Romney not be caught campaigning yesterday.
	And so, Team Romney hastily rewrote a campaign event into a, quote, non-campaign storm relief effort.
	Thanks to BuzzFeed reporter McKay Coppins, we now know exactly how they did that.
	BuzzFeed reports, the night before the event, campaign aides went to a local Walmart and spent $5,000 on granola bars, canned food, and diapers to put on display while they waited for donations to come in, according to one staffer.
	As supporters lined up to greet the candidate, a young volunteer in a Romney Ryan t-shirt stood near the tables, his hands cupped around his mouth, shouting, You need a donation to get in line!
	Empty-handed supporters pled for entrance with one woman asking, What if we dropped off our donations up front?
	The volunteer gestured toward a pile of groceries conveniently stacked near the candidate.
	Just grab something he said.
	It's one thing to do a food drive.
	It's another thing for it to be bogative.
	How do we know it was bogative?
	Well, this is on the spot reporting.
	It was a campaign event they turned into a food drive.
	Well, they couldn't do the campaign event.
	They might as well do something with their time.
	I wasn't buying that.
	I mean, I didn't think it had to be filmed.
	I mean, there's your key.
	I mean, if the media isn't going to go there, does the event still go on?
	If so, then it's legit.
	But you take the cameras there and say, well, you're only here because of our cameras.
	No, we're here.
	I mean, the whole thing, it's like a weird circle, you know?
	It's like, we bring our cameras to shoot it, so it must be phony.
	But wait a minute, what if the cameras weren't here?
	Would it still be going on?
	Well, yeah.
	Well, that's the question you only can answer if you didn't have the cameras there.
	I mean, this is like, and then Obama comes out and he makes a big speech about the Red Cross knows what it's doing.
	No, they don't.
	But what he said, he said, he just did aim it at Romney, because Romney figured the same thing out that we figured out, which is these drives for money, or just that money never goes to the people.
	So I guess he had something critical to say, I don't know what it was, I missed it.
	But whatever the case was, Obama comes out and says, the Red Cross knows what he's doing, Romney should get out of the way.
	Oh, I didn't hear him say that.
	He didn't say Romney should get out of the way.
	He made the illusion that Romney should get out of the way.
	Wow.
	But it doesn't make sense to me because that's not...
	Whether it's government or Red Cross or whoever it is.
	Well, this is where, if you remember in Katrina, down in the New Orleans area, there was all these professional rescue operations that had their boats and everything ready to go and FEMA wouldn't let them in.
	Right.
	Right.
	Now, the theory, in hindsight, is that because there were so many dead bodies that were going to float to the surface from shallow graves all over the area, that it would have been a horrible sight, and they didn't want anyone capturing that on a camera.
	But they still didn't let them in, whatever the case, whatever the real reason, because I don't know that the bodies ever did pop up.
	Well, around New Orleans, I'm sure.
	Must have.
	It must have just been floating everywhere.
	But that's kind of beyond the point.
	I think the point is, you're talking about the feminization of the American male.
	We've gotten to this point where something happens and we're like, okay, where's my help?
	It's like this self-entitlement of, all right, well, something should be here now, and this is ridiculous, and I'm outraged, and it's not going the way it's supposed to.
	This is not the promise I got.
	And sometimes, just bad things happen.
	And you make do, and the only thing you have is your community around you, your neighbors, and the preparations that you have made.
	And by the way, some of these crazy preppers, not so crazy anymore.
	Yeah.
	Of course, a true meta-prepper would be the way I'd go.
	What do you mean?
	A meta-prepper.
	A meta-prepper?
	A meta-prepper is someone who has the mailing list of all the preppers, and then when something bad happens, you go find them and shoot them and take their stuff.
	No, you don't shoot your fellow prepper.
	It's a meta-prepper.
	That's not right.
	You're not prepping right, John.
	I don't like you.
	You're not a good prepper.
	This is why I have my node set up now.
	On the ham, on the ham's frequencies, I've got a node on Echo Link, 775753, and we're going to make this daisy chain of RF repeaters.
	Yeah, great!
	And I get a lot of people who are interested, and if you ever figure out how to program your radio, then maybe you can be a part of it.
	I've got to get that programming module that lets you get inside the thing.
	Oh, you didn't get the cord?
	I got the one they sent.
	It's a piece of crap.
	Everybody says you should get a third-party one.
	Oh.
	Do you know about that?
	No, you got the CD-ROM and the...
	Yeah, the little bitty one.
	Yeah, you can go in there and poke around, but apparently there's a third-party one that lets you really do some great stuff with that little guy.
	Well, I kind of like my radio working now, if you don't mind.
	Yeah.
	I'd like to be using it now.
	So I've got like a mile radius that I can reach right now with the antenna I have.
	But I'm going to get me like a, you know, don't tell Miss Mickey.
	I'm going to get me one of those big, it's called a disc cone antenna.
	And I put that on a pole outside and get me a 50 watt transceiver.
	Make sure it's grounded properly.
	That thing's going to be a lightning.
	It's going to get nailed.
	It'll blow out everything in the house, by the way.
	I think that's part of the test.
	It tells you what you're supposed to do.
	It's like never ground with right angles in the flat wire or something like that.
	Wasn't that it?
	Yeah, there's all these rules about grounding.
	I think I'd just get someone else to do it.
	How's that sound?
	There you go.
	Get some local hams.
	Have a ham party.
	You should get a hand.
	You could probably do a pretty good hand party down in Austin.
	And we get another 10 listeners.
	Look, I'm telling you, we're going to do this network.
	It's going to be...
	Here.
	Someone just connected.
	Someone just connected.
	I'm telling you.
	Here, look.
	Yeah, a whole bunch of people are now connecting.
	So I can't talk to them because I'm doing a show.
	They should know better.
	But that's it.
	And then at the same time, we'll have more people getting their ham radio licenses.
	And then when everything goes to crap, we'll still have a show.
	We can at least talk about it.
	We'll still be able to talk about it.
	Exactly.
	It's really crappy here, too.
	Yeah, they burnt down the Walmart.
	They did?
	The Walmart?
	They burnt that down?
	Yeah, they took everything.
	They'll be like, it's not working anymore.
	Hold on a second.
	Hey, John.
	Hey, KJ6LNG. How you doing there on the show?
	Over?
	Over?
	They burned down the Walmart.
	Oh, man.
	Yeah.
	Did you get any peppers?
	Did you go pop anyone's head and get some supplies?
	My mailing list.
	I lost it.
	I lost it in the office.
	All right.
	Hey, in the morning to you, John C. Dvorak.
	In the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	In the morning, all ships and sea boots on the ground, subs in the water, and feet in the air, and all the knights out there who have helped us keep this show on the road.
	Yes, diligently.
	Or on the go.
	That's right.
	You didn't have to text anything.
	You didn't have to sit through any stupid concert.
	No, you just helped us directly.
	Straight out directly.
	You get your value for value.
	And thank you, Nick the Rat, for the album art on the previous episode of the No Agenda show.
	The best podcast in the universe, episode 456.
	That is highly appreciated.
	And, of course, a big in the morning to all of our human resources in the chat room, noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net.
	And, of course, all the hams who are checking in on Echolink Node 775753, frequency 148.765 in Austin, Texas, PL 114.8.
	Oh, God.
	I've created a monster!
	He lives alive!
	And we can also bounce off satellites.
	I'm learning how to do that.
	Yeah, I know you can.
	But you can do that with your handheld.
	You can bounce off the satellite.
	No.
	There's no way.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	Oh, bull crap.
	Yes, I'm telling you.
	You watch.
	He's got enough poop to get out of the atmosphere.
	Okay.
	You'll see.
	I'll be doing it with my handheld.
	You watch.
	Hey, oh John, fantastic news!
	And?
	Once again, we've been nominated for the Podcast Awards.
	Oh, you know, people should go to the...
	Give them the URL and they should go vote for us every day.
	You can vote every day.
	Podcastawards.com.
	Yeah, this is hopeless.
	Well, the category...
	Because there's no real judging.
	It's just popular people voting.
	I mean, then you...
	It's rigged.
	I mean, the guys that got the biggest audience are the guys who have a bot.
	A good bot would do it.
	Bots.
	Somebody out there, write us a real bot, the kind that keeps changing the IP address, and just have it vote us in.
	Now, there's two things.
	First of all, I'm a little disappointed because Todd Cochran, who donated to the show, and a very nice guy, hooked up with him in Austin, you'll recall, a couple months back.
	He had promised that there would be a best podcast in the universe category, and we would be the only one in it.
	I don't see that category this year, so...
	Of course not.
	I feel slighted, because that was how I wanted to do it.
	However...
	No, that wasn't going to happen.
	So we're not nominated as People's Choice.
	We are in the...
	We're certainly not Best Produced.
	Oh, no.
	Who's in Best Produced?
	Let's see.
	How can it be any better produced than what we do?
	Well, apparently...
	Unless it's a production done actually in a radio studio, which makes it not really a podcast.
	Come on.
	The Caustic Soda?
	The Caustic Soda?
	And Dubious Internet?
	Dubious...
	I've never heard of these.
	Should we listen to Caustic Soda?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Let's listen.
	I bet it's really good here.
	Caustic Soda.
	Don't you go to it because you'll start...
	No, no, I'm not doing anything.
	They certainly have the same bandwidth as we do, apparently.
	Alright, today's episode...
	Well, do they have a player or something?
	Is there somewhere I can play?
	No, it's just there.
	Oh, here it is.
	Here we go.
	I got it.
	Hold on.
	It's just that there's so much flash on this site that it's not...
	Oh, man.
	Alright, so while that's loading...
	Yeah, great podcast.
	Come on, we can't complain.
	We're not the best loaders ourselves.
	We are in the...
	I think political something...
	How come we're not in GLBT? And why is that even a category?
	Remember, we enjoy how customer can feel the ownership to every country in the world.
	Is that guy typing?
	The policy of hand-packed orders are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
	Is that Doug?
	Oh, they do left and right panning.
	Oh, I see.
	Oh, I see why they're winning.
	So you've got one guy right and one guy left.
	Oh, that stinks.
	Okay, well, hold on.
	We need to do that.
	Obviously, that's what we're not doing right.
	I did that once with a DHM plug about a year ago.
	Yeah, I'm doing it now.
	Oh, talk about getting flack from the audience.
	Yeah, but if you want to win an award, you've got to do that.
	So I'm panned left now and you're panned right.
	How are you?
	I'm over here on the right.
	Where are you?
	Adam, where are you?
	I'm over here on the left.
	Why don't you walk to the other side, John?
	Okay, let me walk over to your side and you walk over to my side.
	Here I go.
	Oh, okay.
	All right.
	I'm over on you.
	Hello, I'm over on your side now.
	Hey!
	Hey, hey!
	Why don't you stay over on my side?
	You moved over to the other side.
	Hold on.
	Let me go.
	Oh, it's nice and cozy here with you on this side.
	Move over.
	Hey, hey, hey.
	What is that thing?
	Knock it off.
	Are you just happy to see me?
	I've got a slide rule in my pocket.
	Alright, let's get back into the real show.
	Let me just tell you who our competitors are and then we can move on.
	Well, I want to hear another one of these shows.
	No, I don't want to hear another one of these shows.
	We have important things to do.
	Where's our category?
	Business, comedy, cultural, arts?
	No, this is crazy.
	We have no...
	Huh?
	Oh yeah, politics news.
	Here we go.
	I can tell you who's going to win.
	I already know who's going to win.
	So there's a podcast, This Is Hell.
	Oh, John, we are nominated in the same category along with The Rachel Maddow Show.
	She's not a podcaster.
	Well, she's nominated.
	Or she should be, but it's another story.
	The Morning Stream.
	The Majority Report.
	The Bugle.
	The Morning Stream?
	Are you kidding me?
	Yeah.
	The Bugle.
	The Best of the Left.
	The Slate's Political Gab Fest.
	No Agenda.
	That's us.
	Electric Politics.
	And here's the one that I think is going to win.
	Common Sense with Dan Carlin.
	Because, you know, Dan is kind of safe.
	You know what I mean?
	It's because, you know, Dan touches on a lot of stuff we do.
	He's a historian.
	He goes really deep, but he has no crackpot.
	He has no crackpot.
	So he's safe.
	So it's kind of like, you know, people be like, no, no agenda.
	Yeah, but, you know, I don't want people to think I'm an idiot.
	You know, that's what most people think when they hear about us and people listen.
	I don't want to.
	Is he entertaining?
	Is he funny?
	No.
	I don't think he's funny, no.
	So it's not entertaining.
	In other words, it's just dry.
	Is it dry?
	It's kind of dry, yeah.
	It's dry.
	So you do a dry podcast and that's how you win.
	That's exactly what...
	Okay, that's good to know.
	Let's write that down for our next meeting.
	Yeah, the dry podcast.
	I can't.
	This is when I'm ticked off that we're not in GLBT. Hey, you're nominated in general with DH Unplugged.
	Yeah, I don't get that one either.
	This should be under business.
	You're in general.
	You're just general.
	It's like, oh, you know, once in a while when I feel like listening to something general, I'll just grab it.
	Who else is in general?
	Greetings from Nowhere, the Internet Box Podcast, The Other Side of Live, The Conversation Hub, Secretly Timid, Rebellion Radio, Nightlock Podcast.
	I don't know, man.
	I want to be in GLBT or Mature.
	Yeah, I know you do.
	Why don't you just do a GLBT show yourself?
	Okay, let me see what I'd have to do.
	Bend Over and Take It is nominated.
	Cocktails and Cream Puffs.
	This is horrible.
	These are all lousy puns.
	Foul Monkeys, Gay Sunday Brunch, Homo Ground, Ramble Redhead, Scream Queens, The Queen City Experience, and Throwing Shade.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Throwing Shade.
	I don't know what that means.
	So anyway, I could do a Bicurious podcast.
	You could.
	I think you should.
	This would give you something to do in the spare time.
	Do it with one of your buddies there around town.
	Okay.
	This Week in Gay is on our stream.
	How come they're not nominated?
	This Week in Gay is good.
	I got a good show.
	Anyway.
	Okay.
	So that's it.
	Well, anyway, regardless of whether we win in news politics, we always will be...
	The Best Podcast!
	And let us thank some donors for today's show.
	We did get a couple executive producers.
	Overall, we lost a third of our listeners, obviously, because of the East Coast.
	Yeah, that didn't help.
	And also, PayPal is having issues.
	I had to change my DNS. Really?
	To even get the PayPal.
	Well, isn't that your DNS issue?
	Sorry?
	Well, if you had to change your DNS, isn't that an issue with your DNS and not with PayPal?
	Well, no, but no.
	It's Comcast.
	If Comcast has a DNS problem with PayPal, a lot of our listeners have a problem with getting to PayPal.
	No, I understand.
	I understand.
	But that's Comcast, not PayPal.
	I got it.
	Did I say it was a...
	Yeah, well, I know I said it had a problem with PayPal, but it wasn't because of PayPal.
	Okay.
	Although somebody did send me a tweet saying it was PayPal.
	They have some propagation problem with their DNS in some way, shape, or form.
	So maybe it is PayPal.
	I don't know.
	It's possible.
	Okay.
	But anyway, we do want to thank a few people here.
	We want to thank Sir Dwayne Melanson in Tigard, Oregon, 555555.
	It's a belated five-year celebratory donation by my accounting that should qualify me for the barony of Oregon.
	Ma, by the way, I am amused at your four-way into being a nanny state a couple of months ago by telling everyone how they were listening to your podcast incorrectly.
	A very shut-up slave move from an unexpected source, Dvorak.
	What did you say?
	I said that people should not be listening to old shows.
	And that's nanny state?
	No, no.
	Well, he says that means I'm telling them how to listen to the show.
	I'm a dictator.
	Well, yeah.
	And he says I should get a pork pie hat and sunglasses for Twit.
	Well, I'm not going to do that.
	That's a good idea.
	Anyway, I want to thank him for being executive producer.
	We have a second executive producer, Sir Jordy Ramirez.
	Again, our knights are coming to the rescue.
	Yeah.
	As they want to.
	And Cancun.
	33333.
	Just checking in from Cancun.
	Thanks again for everything you do.
	Please send some all-purpose karma to me and my family.
	We really need it.
	Thanks again.
	Absolutely.
	Thank you so much, Jordy.
	You've got karma.
	And Sir Dwayne, too.
	Don't listen to John being all cranky about you calling him out.
	It's all good.
	We really appreciate it.
	Stephen Fettig in Delavan, Wisconsin.
	22222.
	This is actually to elevate Ramsey Cain to status of producer.
	So it's got to be Ramsey Cain.
	We've got to remember that.
	I've known him for too many years, and when he came back to work for my family's company, he didn't just punch me in the mouth.
	He kicked me in the teeth.
	Give the man some de-douching and karma.
	He needs it far more than I do.
	You've been de-douched.
	You've got karma.
	Excellente.
	Thank you.
	And I want to remind people that we do need to keep the show going.
	So go to Dvorak.org slash NA, channel Dvorak.com slash NA, NoAgendaShow.com and NoAgendaNation.com.
	There's a donate button.
	And help us out.
	We really are coming up very short because I think we've essentially lost a third.
	We have a lot of listeners on the East Coast and the East Coast is down now.
	I don't know how many even opened the email we sent out.
	Well, I think people also just have other things to do.
	Well, generally speaking, we do well in November, so this is not looking like we're going to do well.
	No, we're not going to do well, but that's okay.
	I mean, this is...
	Look, what do you want?
	You want FEMA to bail you out or something, Dvorak?
	Is that what you're doing?
	I do.
	I want some FEMA money.
	You know, I think we should apply.
	It's affecting the show.
	Yeah, please.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	New.
	World.
	Order.
	Come on, FEMA.
	Shut up.
	Shut up, Slane.
	I think we can apply.
	I think you're right.
	Hey, when it shows up on the tax form next year...
	I think we can apply for some direct funding.
	You've got so much money, they're just throwing it away.
	Direct funding.
	Well, during all of this, of course, many things did not stop.
	Many, many things did not stop.
	Oh, hello.
	Yeah, just keep talking.
	Well, it's going to be a little annoying if it keeps ringing.
	It's not like I don't hear it all of a sudden.
	You want to pick it up?
	It's Susie.
	I'm doing a radio show.
	I'm doing a radio show.
	You're coming back later.
	What kind of radio show, sir?
	What kind of radio show, sir?
	Yeah.
	Who was that?
	I don't know.
	Somebody, but it was a real live person.
	I expected it to be Rachel from Account Services.
	I gotta remember taking the phone off the hook.
	Yeah, well, we've discussed this before.
	You're one of the few guys left who actually has a phone you can take off the hook.
	Yeah, well, there you have it.
	It's handy.
	It's pretty good.
	Yeah, when the cell towers are down and I've got the only phone left, I can call people.
	That's all right.
	I've got my ham.
	I've got my 775753 node.
	I'll be good.
	No worries.
	So there were some other things taking place, obviously, in and around the world.
	You know, I'm still really, really sick.
	You're still sick?
	Yeah.
	What I had on Sunday, I'm sweating.
	You probably have the flu.
	It's not like a typical flu, then.
	It's not like a stomach flu or anything.
	You should have loaded up a D3 when you had a shot at it.
	It's too late now.
	Did you hear what they were doing on Valentine's Day?
	Halloween?
	No.
	Oh, yeah.
	It was they.
	They.
	Well, I'll tell you where this was.
	This they.
	They're now setting up drive-through flu shots.
	Let's see, where was this?
	Apparently across the country.
	I didn't see it in Austin.
	But as a part of the emergency preparedness drill, they were setting up free flu shots.
	Here it is.
	Connecticut, Alabama.
	Well, Connecticut probably didn't participate.
	Georgia, California, Kansas, Virginia, Arizona.
	You could do a drive-thru and get your flu shot.
	I should have participated in that.
	You just stay in the car, and you just...
	You're already sick.
	Well, alright, there's that.
	I don't know if you're getting a flu shot, like, halfway through the flu.
	By the way, this has lasted too long.
	How long have you been sick?
	Well, it started Sunday.
	Oh, yeah, you should be over by this Sunday.
	Yeah, if not, then it's too long, then what do I do?
	Are you coughing, or do you have a phlegm?
	I have phlegm and a stuffy nose.
	You don't sound that way, though.
	You don't sound sick.
	And if it was me, I'd be like...
	Yeah, but you're like...
	That's how you are.
	And my fingertips are tingly.
	You know what I mean?
	That flu feeling you get.
	I never had that.
	Okay.
	Alright.
	So what else was going on in your world?
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	Let's talk about changing the subject.
	Yeah.
	Well, I'm tired of it.
	You're just telling me I don't sound sick.
	I'm sick.
	So it's amazing I'm doing the show at all.
	Yeah.
	Well, what are we going to do about Thanksgiving, by the way?
	Well, forget Thanksgiving.
	This Sunday, I'm doing the show from San Francisco.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	In fact, do you want to have dinner with us tomorrow night so I can give you the food?
	Not if you're sick.
	Oh, come on.
	I'm not contagious anymore.
	Tomorrow morning at 8 we fly to San Francisco and then we do our, you know, every year we do this benefit for messed up kids.
	Oh yeah, right.
	So we do the messed up kids.
	And then when do you fly them back?
	Sunday after the show.
	Sunday evening.
	Okay.
	So can we do dinner tomorrow night?
	Sure.
	It'd be great, right?
	You want to come to the hotel?
	What hotel are you going to be at?
	No.
	Oh, don't say.
	You'll be flooded with fans.
	Yeah.
	And flowers in my room.
	Oh, heaven forbid.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So, yeah.
	And so it's going to be messed up on Sunday.
	I'm still going to be sick.
	I'm going to be tired from that thing.
	And what news will we have?
	We'll have nothing but the same old news.
	No, there'll be new news.
	There's always news.
	New news.
	New news.
	So, yeah, too bad I wasn't today, because then I could drive around in a little Ford Focus electric.
	Oh, is that what you're driving now?
	Well, I borrowed one to test.
	Right, and how is it?
	I like it.
	Oh, please.
	Except for one thing.
	Here's my conclusion.
	I've driven the Volt.
	I've driven the Leaf.
	I've driven the Focus.
	I've got a couple others to look at.
	Wait a minute.
	Are you writing a book about electric cars?
	No, I'm going to write a small monograph.
	What's a monograph?
	It's a small thing that you can sell on the Kindle.
	Oh, that you can sell on Amazon.
	On the Kindle.
	Oh, and what's it going to be called?
	It's going to be called What Electric Car Should You Buy?
	Really?
	And the answer is none.
	Well, it's getting close to that.
	Here's the problem.
	If you...
	It's the second car for driving around town.
	These cars are great.
	But they are incredible...
	They're white-knuckle experiences if you're going to take a long trip.
	Why is this?
	Well, for example, the Ford Focus Electric has got a range of, they say, there's a new standard for ranges, and it's 76 miles, although you get in the car and you turn it on, and you'll say you've got 83 miles to go, and then you drive down the block, and now you've got 50 miles to go.
	Oh, it has like an Android battery, where before it goes down, like...
	You don't know what it's going to do.
	And by the way, all the electric cars do this.
	You drive a little bit this way and it says, well, you're going to be out of electricity in two minutes.
	And then you go, you got an hour to go.
	So here's my, I took a trip out to Danville, which is like 32 miles.
	Can I ask you a question?
	So like a laptop, right?
	So if I'm on my first-generation MacBook Air and I see it has like three hours, but if I have the screen brightness up all the way, then it'll go to two hours really quickly.
	But if I turn down the brightness, it won't go as fast.
	When you're driving and you have your lights on, does that make a difference with your battery, with your radius?
	I haven't noticed it with using...
	Apparently, most of the subsystems are run by a separate battery, so it doesn't affect the motor.
	That's my understanding, so no.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Now, but here's the deal.
	How about if you have your screensaver on?
	That would probably make a difference.
	So I'm driving to Danville, and I've got...
	With a full charge.
	And so it's only 30 miles, 30-something miles.
	So I get there, and I'm watching the thing drop like a rock.
	And then the worst part of it, of course, is I take all.
	I've never seen a focus electric car on the road.
	I just haven't seen them.
	They're just not around here.
	They're maybe back east.
	I don't know where they are.
	They just came out.
	But on the way out to Danville, there's one by the side of the road pulled over.
	So I'm thinking it's dead.
	I'm thinking, oh, great.
	So anyway, that's not a good sign.
	So I'm bombing down, and then I get through the tunnel, and the next thing you know, I've only gone like 10 miles, and it shows that I've only got 40 miles left, saying I've chewed up 30 miles.
	And how many more miles do you have to go?
	I've got 20 miles to go.
	So you're like, where's the point of no return?
	You're afraid you can't get back.
	Yeah, the point of no return, as far as I'm concerned, is, but the problem is it fluctuates so wildly.
	And let me explain.
	So it doesn't, there is no point of no return on these things.
	So you get there, and so I get there, and I get there, and it says 42 miles.
	So it was right when I got there.
	I went from 75 to like 42, it's just about right.
	So I said, well, that's interesting, so I should be able to get it home, no problem.
	So then I start coming back, and then all of a sudden, because I think it's because I was going up a hill or something, I'm down to 22 miles.
	I haven't even gotten to the tunnel yet.
	I said, 22 miles.
	I called Mimi up.
	I said, yeah, I'm driving this car.
	I only got 22 miles, and I'm hitting the Caldecott town.
	She said, well, you should be able to limp home.
	No problem.
	You can't coast on fumes, Mimi.
	So I'm going through the tunnel, and now it's downhill.
	So I go about another seven, eight miles.
	Now I've got 62 miles on the gate.
	Ah, this whole thing is bogative.
	This is stupid.
	This is really stupid.
	And so I decide to stop at a burrito place, and when I get out of there, I let the car cool down.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute.
	I just want to picture this for a second.
	Here comes this old geezer in a battery car.
	Erk!
	Hey, I'm looking for a burrito, baby.
	Hand me one that's hot and spicy.
	So I get back, the car's got, so in other words, the car's got 64 miles on it now, it says.
	So I took the trip all the way down there when it started with 75 miles.
	I've only gone nine miles according to this gauge.
	Oh, no.
	And so, you know, this is not good.
	It's not a good experience.
	And by the way, the other cars, the Leaf, the Volt, they all do this.
	I think they all use the same software to gauge battery life, and it totally sucks.
	I don't think there's any...
	I've never seen a battery gauge really gauge it perfectly.
	I mean, not on a Mac, certainly not on a Windows machine, not on iPhone, not on Android.
	I don't think the technology actually...
	How hard can it be?
	Well, the thing is, if it's constant, if you have a constant load, then you can measure it, and you can say, okay, it'll be this amount of hours, but...
	No, here, listen to me.
	Yes, sir.
	You've got the mapping software.
	You know the altitudes.
	You know when you're going uphill and downhill.
	You know the habits of the driver.
	All this can be computerized.
	You should be able to get the battery down to within an hour.
	You're going up a hill.
	You're going down a hill.
	This can all be calculated in.
	This is like the Windows machine.
	Stay no more, John.
	You have just hit upon...
	We have to patent this.
	What a great idea you have here.
	I bet you no one has come up with this, and the Curry-Dvorak Patent Group are going to patent this idea of having the absolute accurate battery measuring system for electric cars.
	And we'll sell 5,000 units.
	Just like all the cards there are.
	I bet you we can get a sweet little package of money, though, from the government.
	Well, now you're talking.
	Right.
	What I was going to say is I'm reminded of when you're going to transfer a hard disk over to another hard disk.
	And it says copying files.
	Three hours and 45 minutes left.
	And then it says three hours and 30 minutes right all of a sudden.
	And down to two, 240.
	Two hours.
	Well, hour 15, 40 minutes.
	Just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
	This is all a part of our patented drain technology.
	Because no one has gotten this right.
	How about downloading?
	How about just downloading our podcast?
	How about downloading our podcast?
	For some people, it says eight hours.
	And for some people, it actually takes eight hours.
	But for others, it goes, you know, it says eight hours, and then it goes in ten seconds.
	This is bad.
	We have these computers.
	These are all computers we're dealing with.
	This should be able to deal with these kinds of...
	But do you understand what I'm saying?
	That we have an opportunity here to create...
	We need to make this a product.
	We will productize it.
	Well, first thing, we patent it.
	I think we start writing the patent right after this show.
	Sure.
	Because that's easy.
	I bet you no one has this.
	I'm going to...
	Apparently, from the looks of it, nobody does have it.
	Right.
	All right.
	Well, so this will be good.
	This will be very interesting to see your...
	What do you call it?
	What's it called?
	A hamlet?
	A giblet?
	A focus?
	No.
	No, your book.
	The giblet?
	A monogram.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Monogram.
	Giblet.
	Giblet.
	I think giblet sounds better than monogram.
	Monogram.
	Alright, your monogram.
	What's it going to sell?
	$2.99 on the Kindle?
	Apparently that's the sweet spot.
	Alright, well great.
	Can we do a spoiler here?
	Just so no one has to buy it?
	Which one is the best?
	I still have two cars to look at.
	Anyway, let's go to Euroland for a second.
	I was quite delighted this morning.
	Well, not delighted, of course.
	The Dutch government of the lowlands.
	Now, you know that I speak some of that language over there.
	And they're putting together a new government.
	So they had the elections, and they had to put together a coalition.
	And it looks like more of the same all over again.
	Deja vu again.
	But they put out the budget, and basically, remember the great healthcare system that Netherlands has?
	That fantastic system that everyone held up as great and fantastic, and it's a beacon of light, an example for all healthcare systems?
	I think all the people that held that up are dead now.
	Yeah.
	So the way it works, if you make between...
	Well, let me put it this way.
	People are going to have to pay more.
	Substantially more.
	And they're taking away all...
	Basically, austerity has now hit the Netherlands.
	And the Dutch are literally like, hey, wait a minute.
	I was watching TV, man.
	What happened all of a sudden?
	And their VAT went from 19% to 21%.
	Which is not a 2% jump.
	I love it when people say, well, it's only 2%.
	No, no, no.
	That is, what was it, like 10%?
	It's a 10% increase.
	Yeah, so a 10% jump.
	Yeah, it's a 10% increase, but the way it's sold...
	Yeah, something was 20 cents and now it's 22 cents.
	It's been raised 10%, not 2%.
	Right, but it was like, oh, it's only 2%, man.
	No, no, no.
	It's a 10% increase across the board.
	VAT is everything, everything.
	It's on everything that you buy.
	There's VAT all the way down the line.
	But now the Dutch people are like, well, hold on a second.
	So I'm making more monies and I then have to pay more taxes for this other guy who's not even working.
	So now they're waking up.
	And it's funny to see.
	It's just funny because, you know, if they'd only listened to the best podcast in the universe, they would have known that they were electing the wrong people.
	Well, it's too late now.
	Yeah.
	And then in Greece, we've been talking about Lagarde's List.
	This is the list of over 2,000 names of politicians, people in media, different types of people who will receive kickbacks, particularly the politicians and the media, from big contracts, for example, from Siemens, who came in with billions and billions of euros to build trains that no one really needed.
	And so this list is of one bank which shows 2,000 bank accounts, I think it's the HSBC, and shows up to 2 billion euros in kickbacks and who has what.
	And so this list has been bandied about.
	We've talked about it several times here on the show.
	And one journalist finally decided to put it in his newspaper to print the list.
	And guess what?
	They arrested him.
	Why?
	Why?
	What newspaper did he print it in?
	In like a small newspaper.
	In what country?
	In Greece.
	In Greece.
	But it's not the publisher.
	This is what's so funny about it.
	This is why he's the editor of Hot Docs.
	Which I guess is a translation.
	And here is a BBC interview with this journalist Vox Evanis who was talking about being arrested and now being tried and he can possibly be thrown in jail for at least two years for invasion of privacy.
	Because I'm a journalist and it's our job to tell the truth to the people.
	The three last governments have lied and have made a mockery of the Greek people with this list.
	They were obliged to pass it to Parliament or to the justice system.
	They didn't do it and they should be in prison for it.
	But instead, they think I should be the one in prison.
	But this was a breach of privacy, surely, by publishing personal banking details.
	I mean, how would you feel if your bank account details were published by another newspaper?
	Nice one, BBC douche.
	This is not personal data.
	Give a douche out, call out.
	Yeah, I should.
	Hey, who has how much money in which account?
	All we did was to publish the names and their connection to the bank.
	That is public knowledge.
	Nobody goes to their bank in disguise.
	Did you know you would be arrested when you published this list?
	I imagined there would be a big reaction, especially from those on the list, even if we didn't say whether they were doing anything illegal.
	But I didn't expect that the government would react so fast, and in such a vengeful way, by sending 20 special forces to arrest one journalist to send him to prison.
	This is a preview of things to come for us, John.
	I've seen the list.
	We could have published the list on our website.
	I mean, we should have done that.
	And you've got 20 special forces.
	It was that big of a deal.
	I guess it was.
	20 special forces?
	It's great.
	Why do you think the Greek government did not follow this up for the last two years?
	This is explained by the list itself, which includes businessmen and friends of ministers, as well as powerful publishers.
	The whole political system is in this list.
	The government threw it in the toilet.
	It's not just ridiculous, it's like a cartoon.
	It offends our intellect.
	Meanwhile, there are people looking in rubbish bins to find something to eat.
	They knew there was a list with over 2,000 names from only one bank.
	Imagine what could be the case with other banks.
	It includes people who evade taxes, but they'll never be caught for it.
	So, if you think that this is a unique degree...
	Unless you're mistaken.
	Yeah.
	Forbes publishes this list of Americans every year.
	Well, yeah, but that's a different type of list.
	He didn't even publish who had how much, but he published the list of which businessmen, politicians, and people in media were all complicit in stealing the money, which happens here, too.
	It's just a club that you're not in, as the great George Carlin would say.
	He just published it.
	They have an account with the HSBC. I think it was HSBC. The Swiss bank account where all this money is stored.
	This is Lagarde's List.
	And they arrested him.
	Yeah, that's how it's going to go.
	That's the way it works.
	That's just what it is.
	Yeah, exactly.
	I had an interesting interview yesterday.
	You know, for the Big Book Show?
	Yeah.
	And I've started editing this.
	Bigbookshow.com is where we can find this.
	Have you ever heard of Brian Evanson?
	Not offhand.
	Okay, so Brian Evanson is...
	Apparently, he's quite famous.
	He's won, you know, like 20 literary awards.
	He runs the...
	What are you doing?
	What's happening?
	John?
	Are you okay?
	What?
	What happened?
	Nothing.
	It was like a big racket all of a sudden.
	Like there was water flowing in your house.
	I don't know what that was.
	Okay.
	So he runs the literary arts program at Brown University.
	And he's published like, it's horror.
	He writes really crazy, screwed up horror.
	I can't believe you, this is exactly the kind of elitist literature that you would know.
	That's why I'm amazed you don't know.
	No, I don't read horror.
	Well, it's not really horror.
	I read the New York Times.
	That's horror.
	That's comedy.
	Anyway, so he has a new book out, a bundle of short stories.
	And so I read it and I interviewed him.
	And as a part of my research into the guy, when I interview an author, I read his book, which seems to be quite special.
	I'm going to have you on with your electronic car book and I'll read the book too.
	And then I read up on his background, and he was a major player in the Mormon Church.
	So he was LDS. And I'm like, what a fantastic opportunity to ask this guy about Romney.
	Right?
	I would say yes to that.
	You weren't even listening.
	What were you doing?
	I was writing some notes in the red book.
	Okay.
	So I asked him what he thought about Romney, and I'd like to play that for you so we can get a little insight direct from one of the leaders of the Church of Latter-day Saints.
	Is he still in the church?
	No, he's been excommunicated.
	Oh, okay.
	No, no.
	They hate him.
	They hate him.
	He's not welcome in Utah anymore.
	The whole state, I think, he's not allowed back.
	Particularly because of...
	He wrote a book about pedophilia.
	It was a novel, but it was very clear that he was implying this was the Mormon church.
	Are you getting...
	Hold on a second.
	What was the name of this book?
	This guy's famous, man.
	Brian Evan...
	What is it?
	There's a lot of famous people out there.
	Yeah, but, you know, come on.
	You should know this guy.
	The only famous Brian I know is Brian Wilson.
	From the Beach Boys?
	Yeah.
	Let me see what his...
	Yeah, it was a big controversy.
	It's also Brian Sabian of the New York Giants, or San Francisco Giants, I'm sorry.
	He's won the Creative Writers' Fellowship from the National Endowments for the Arts, the O. Henry Award.
	I mean, this is the Shirley Jackson.
	Let's just play the clip.
	I don't care about this guy's background.
	I wanted to tell you the name of the book about pedophilia in the Mormon Church.
	Anyway, here it is.
	But maybe you would be the right guy to ask, if you want to, about your feeling about Mitt Romney.
	Mitt Romney is very strange for me as someone who's a former Mormon because I see all the aspects of the way in which he delivers speeches, the way in which he talks, the kind of attitudes he has.
	They remind me so much of Mormon church leaders and Mormon general authorities that it's just shocking to me.
	And so I have a very hard time listening even to his cadence and not thinking that I'm in church.
	Wow.
	I find it very intense.
	I am not pro-Romney.
	I'm very much a pro-Obama guy, and I think Romney represents for me a lot of what I see as the worst aspects of business Mormonism.
	What amazes me is that there's been so little discussion at all about Romney's Mormonism.
	I don't understand why that is.
	There must be fear, or there's something going on with the media about that.
	I don't know if it's fear or if it's just that it seems like a side issue to people.
	I can't tell for sure.
	But it is strange to me that that hasn't been a discussion at all.
	Same with Anne Romney.
	When she gave her talk at the Republican National Convention, I felt like I was in a Mormon General Conference session.
	The way she phrased it by saying, I'm going to talk about love, the whole pattern was just exactly like a talk I'd seen.
	So I think that was pretty interesting, that he says the cadence and the order of the way they talk about things is exactly the way a session goes at the Mormon church.
	Bill Clinton used to talk like a preacher.
	Right.
	It's not unusual.
	Yeah, but we don't really have...
	Obama talks like a preacher.
	Sure, but these are different types of preachers.
	We don't have a lot of video of Mormon preachers.
	These just don't exist as far as I know.
	Actually, there's a channel called BYU on this network which has tons of this.
	Really?
	And they have the guys preaching.
	It's not that hard to come by.
	Inside the Mormon church.
	They're all over the place.
	I mean, it's hard for me to watch because it's just a bunch of proselytizing.
	But yeah, go watch BYU. A lot of these speakers with the same kind of cadence this guy's talking about.
	I don't know.
	It doesn't bother me.
	I don't care.
	I'm not voting for him.
	No, I know.
	But I think there was a moment there before the weather modification, a path change of Hurricane Sandy, that Romney might have won.
	And I think...
	That probably would have been really, really bad.
	I'm now thinking this guy is really evil and insane.
	No offense.
	Worse than Obama?
	No, he's evil and insane.
	Yeah, about the same.
	About the same.
	With the kill list and everything.
	And the love of drones.
	Yeah, but I don't know.
	At least that's the evil I know.
	We know.
	If you hear it buzzing overhead, take shelter.
	But you don't know what this Mormon church is.
	And we have Mormons listening.
	I can't get worked up about it.
	No?
	Okay.
	Alright.
	I don't know.
	I don't see Romney being any worse, or any better.
	I don't see any of this helping at all, and I'll say it again.
	I'm voting for Gary Johnson, and I don't care what anyone thinks.
	No, that's fine.
	Wasted vote!
	Wasted vote, Dvorak!
	No, it's not a wasted vote to vote for those two guys.
	I'm voting for Roseanne Barr.
	Yeah, I know you are.
	That's not a wasted vote, though.
	No.
	No.
	Roseanne might be wasted, but the vote won't be.
	Exactly.
	All right.
	What else?
	Well, I don't know.
	I'm spacing because I've got a methadone.
	It's because you're sick.
	Yeah, I think I have a fever.
	What do you make of this Bronco Obama girl that everyone's playing now?
	I don't know anything about this.
	No, you don't know about this little girl, Abby?
	No, tell me.
	No, so it's like a four-year-old girl and it's a YouTube video and everyone's playing it and she's crying in this video and then mom says, what's the matter, Abby?
	And here's what she says.
	Just because...
	I'm tired of Barack Obama and Mitt Romney.
	That's why you're crying?
	Oh, it'll be over soon, Abby.
	Okay?
	The election will be over soon, okay?
	Okay.
	So everyone is playing this clip.
	And Mickey saw the clip, and she's like, you know, this is, she got really angry.
	She's like, you know, this is because these stupid parents, you know, they're like exposing their kids to all this bull crap, and she was like, went total crackpot on me.
	Oh, God.
	Yeah, she went way off.
	She's like, no, the poor children, somebody think of the children, please!
	And I don't know.
	I'm not quite sure why this has happened.
	Why everyone's playing it.
	I'm not sure what's going on with it.
	Well, I never saw it.
	I saw the one where they had the old farts in the old folks' home cussing.
	And saying they didn't want Romney in because he's going to take their money or something.
	I forgot it.
	But it was done by moveon.org.
	It was really highly offensive.
	Okay.
	No, I haven't seen any of that.
	I haven't seen that.
	Let's see what we have.
	We have a new word for denialism.
	Uh-oh.
	Yeah.
	Reverse tribalism.
	Oh, please.
	That's not going to catch.
	No, I didn't think it was good either, but that's what the New York Times is trying to push out there.
	So, you know, if you believe in climate change, which, as you know, I do.
	I'm now a believer in climate change.
	Those who are against it are susceptible to a, soon to be known as a disease, reverse tribalism.
	They're trying it.
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	So there was some interesting propaganda coming out of Hollywood just to make sure they're going to get Obama in no matter what.
	And I thought this was just overt.
	But they brought up, this is the kind of thing that I thought was a good piece of propaganda, because it made you sympathetic toward blacks and injustice, and at the end of the day, you would think, I'm going to vote for Obama.
	And it's the Medal of Honor for Blacks segment from NCIS, one of the top show on CBS. I heard the old guy was trying to pawn his Medal of Honor.
	What I do not understand is why President Clinton is giving him the medal.
	I mean, it was more than 40 years after World War II was over.
	I wondered the same thing.
	I found out that because of discrimination, no African American was awarded the Medal of Honor until Congress passed legislation in 1996 to correct the injustice.
	Seven men were recommended to receive the award, only two were still alive.
	One of them is Mr.
	Moore.
	And this was a recent episode?
	Yeah, this is this week.
	Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.
	So they're slipping in at the end.
	Actually, their story is they had not...
	There was a study in 1993.
	They investigated racial discrimination and the awarding of medals.
	I'm reading this from the Wikipedia.
	At the time, no medals of honor had been awarded to black soldiers served in World War II. After an exhaustive review of files, the study recommended several black Distinguished Service Cross recipients, so it wasn't that they weren't getting anything, be upgraded to medal of honor.
	Oh, okay.
	And that's...
	Well, yeah, we're a bunch of racist pricks.
	That's who we are in America.
	Actually, I'm surprised they give anybody an award.
	It costs money.
	Especially American soldiers.
	I mean, when Roosevelt got in, they had these soldiers, these...
	I forgot the name of this protest that was going on in the White House.
	It was actually the whole, most of Washington, D.C., all these soldiers that were never paid for their work in World War I. And they all lined up outside, right?
	And they had a big sit-in for days.
	And they ended up shooting them.
	Hey, hey, get out of our way, you stupid soldiers.
	That's why we love the drones, man, because we won't have the stupid personnel to deal with anymore.
	Yeah, we won't have to shoot them because we didn't pay them.
	We screwed them somehow with the Veterans Administration.
	It's just unbelievable.
	This never ends.
	And everyone's still, you know, nobody complains.
	The people finding the drones, little known fact, they're civilians, you see.
	They're not really enlisted men and women.
	So, yeah.
	That's the little dirty secret.
	So, what's going on with Kosovo?
	Yeah, I saw Lucifer was hanging out.
	Yeah, Lucifer.
	I have a clip of Hillary and the Idiot.
	Yeah.
	Okay, your clip is better titled than mine.
	Okay, should we play it or do you want to set it up?
	Yeah, play it and we can discuss it.
	Maybe there's more stuff on your clip.
	But you know who the idiot is, right?
	Well, yeah.
	U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says Kosovo's unilaterally declared independence is not up for discussion.
	Clinton and EU Foreign Policy Chief Catherine Ashton are on a three-nation tour of the Balkans to help secure peace in the region.
	A power struggle between ethnic Serb, Muslim and Croat parties has held back progress since the war ended in 1995.
	The United States is firmly committed to Kosovo's sovereignty and territorial integrity and to seeing the rule of law extend throughout Kosovo.
	We oppose any discussion of territorial changes or reopening Kosovo's independent status.
	These matters are not up for discussion.
	A common theme has been our view of the importance of seeing the countries we visited being part of the European Union.
	And to the people of Kosovo I say the same thing.
	Your future lies with the European Union and we are eager to see you realise that ambition.
	So I-- So the idiot, of course, is Ashton.
	That's obvious.
	By the way, if you play Ashton, if you actually transcribe what she said, she is a blithering...
	She doesn't even make any sense.
	The sentence structure, it's horrible.
	It's like a non-sequitur.
	I don't even know what she said.
	Just like, you know, you should like Europe.
	I don't know.
	And by the way, she looks like a moron.
	Well...
	So she is the product of inbreeding.
	She is one of the highest elites in Europe.
	That's why she's like a placeholder.
	You could put a napkin there, a damp rag, and just make its mouth move a little bit, and that would be enough.
	She is Baroness von Ashton.
	So she is truly an elite, and this is what they do.
	They put the elites in, in all these little spots where they're good and necessary, and just look at her.
	She's the product of inbreeding.
	Her chin is chopped off.
	Yeah, and one eye is higher than the other.
	The distance between her eyes is wrong.
	She's a mongrel.
	She's horrible looking.
	She's horrible.
	Wow.
	And we're two fine specimens to talk, obviously.
	We're not in the elites.
	If I was up there standing next to Hillary, yakking away, I would expect people to be critical of me.
	You've got to get at least a facelift or something.
	I need a neck job.
	So I think what's going on here is this is about the border, and of course the Clintons, they ran this whole operation, this whole Kosovo with the bombing, and I mean, it's so long ago, and there's so many things, so much water under the bridge, and we have a lot of people who listen to the show in this region who will set us straight.
	But to me, this is about the border and control of oil and pipelines.
	That's pretty much the research that I get out of it.
	And they can't have any change because now it has to do with NATO and who's going to be a part of the EU. That's why Ashton is there.
	It's all about control of pipelines and oil.
	Do you see it any different, John?
	No, it's probably what it is.
	What else could it be?
	Well, it's not just for a picnic.
	It's always Hillary and Ashton, if you notice.
	Hillary has got to be the oil connection, and Ashton is the EU connection.
	That's the only thing I can think of.
	All I know is that when it says, not open for discussion, that's pretty firm.
	That to me says something's up.
	Yeah, that means you want a drone?
	No, then shut up, slave.
	That's what you need to do.
	Shut up, slave!
	You know that big fire they had in Jersey?
	No, it wasn't Jersey.
	It was Queens.
	Queens?
	Yeah.
	You know that big fire took out 100 homes or so?
	Yeah, yeah.
	It was an area called Breezy Point.
	Anybody find any irony in that?
	Breezy Point?
	There was a big wind on Breezy Point.
	It torched a bunch of houses.
	Why live in a place like that?
	Thank you, Pierce.
	Now I want to go to a neighbourhood that's been devastated by Sandy, a tight-knit community in Queens, New York, called Breezy Point, where as many as 100 homes were burned to the ground.
	Deborah Ferrick is there for us tonight.
	Deb, it's a pretty awful situation down there.
	They've just been raised almost to the ground.
	I was seeing pictures earlier.
	They were saying 80 homes, but I believe it's nearer 100.
	Is that right?
	Yeah.
	You know what?
	They finished that report, by the way, with what do you think caused a downed power line, which rarely starts fires, by the way, especially in the rain.
	Downed power line, or was it an exploding transformer, which seems to be a theme, even though none of them really exploded except that one, which wasn't a transformer.
	No, it was a gas-fired electric plant, yeah.
	And so, but the one thing they never answered the question, which is the power was down.
	Some idiot, I know this is how the fire started.
	It's candles.
	Candles and kerosene lamps.
	Yeah, because people light a bunch of candles.
	They're all over the house.
	I don't want to be a sexist.
	Okay.
	But women love lighting candles and they put them all over the house like you're in a Catholic church.
	And they're all over the place and it's so dark, somebody bumps a table, the candles go down, catches the curtains on fire, the house goes up in flames, breezy point wind takes over and blows the fire from house to house and the whole place goes up.
	I think it's like, what's her name's cow in Chicago?
	Okay.
	What's her name's cow?
	I forget.
	There's a cow that started the fire at the Great Chicago Fire.
	Oh, the Great Chicago Fire, right, with the farting into the gas lamp.
	Well, right?
	That's what happened.
	Yeah.
	So the first thing I'd say is that's probably the last time Mimi's going to make a romantic night for you two.
	I think that's pretty much it.
	It's not romantic to have a bunch of stinky candles.
	No offense, ladies.
	Oh, wow.
	Stenching up them.
	Oh, yeah, I know.
	You're still doing that.
	Oh, Mickey, she'll get mad at me if I agree with John on this one, so I better just argue with him.
	I'm not...
	I'm not arguing.
	I happen to like the romantic thing with the candles around the bathtub and the oils and everything.
	I like that.
	Candles around the bathtub is the worst.
	This is, by the way, a ceremony that Wiccans like to do.
	So there'll be candles around the bathtub.
	Then you're going to be stabbed in the tub.
	And the blood is going to be allowed to accumulate.
	And then they light the other candles.
	And then they all make some...
	All the girls get together with your dead body in the middle.
	Are you...
	And you'll see.
	Well, you won't see.
	Are you calling my wife a witch?
	No, I'm just saying I don't trust all these candles in the bathtub, around the bathtub.
	Okay, okay.
	It's a Wiccan ceremony, I'm telling you.
	Run!
	Okay.
	Okay.
	All right.
	When I heard about this fire, you know, when I actually thought, I thought that, of course, the breezy point is why everything got torched.
	But, you know, I see this happen all the time.
	And I've been highly suspect of this in the Netherlands for many, many, many, many years.
	That, you know, if a business is about to go under and, you know, like the books, it's all messed up and you're going to go bankrupt, what is the best thing you can do?
	Torch the place.
	Exactly.
	And gee golly, we've never heard of such a thing in the New York metropolitan Jersey area.
	Right.
	Or Queens.
	If you're flooding and whatever it is, there's a million different reasons.
	And there's no flood insurance, generally.
	Yes, exactly.
	I can see myself going, yeah, torch it.
	That's smart money.
	Yeah, speaking of which...
	I'm going to show myself old by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
	Run from the Wiccans!
	You are so in trouble tomorrow night when we're in San Francisco.
	Segway of the year.
	From Wiccans to donations?
	Is that what you're saying?
	Speaking of money.
	Okay, we don't have a lot of donors, but we do have a few and we want to thank them all.
	Andrew Holcomb in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
	1-11-11.
	Greetings.
	Working towards my knighthood in a year when I'm seriously just getting by.
	My wife would be pissed if she knew.
	There you have it.
	Just go into the bathtub, Andrew, with the candles.
	Five candles.
	I love you.
	My last donation note was lost.
	By the way...
	What century were we in that candles, you know, I mean, anyway.
	What, what, what?
	You mean it should be battery?
	My last donation note was lost, by the way, so I was forced to just eat an apple in my room.
	Aww.
	Aww.
	Today I'd like to request some Hey Citizen Karma because my oldest human resource is having wrist surgery today.
	Karma is good medicine.
	You guys do great work.
	Fact.
	Alright.
	Let's bring out the Hey Citizen Karma.
	Hey Citizen.
	You've got karma.
	I don't understand your problem with candles, by the way.
	There's nothing wrong with candles.
	They start fires.
	Andy Forward, also known as Horse Presence in Pacifica, California.
	It's time for my annual contribution calculated.
	A dollar an episode equals $104.
	You're worth a lot more, but I'm contributing what I can currently afford for a close friend undergoing chemo and radiation therapy.
	Can I request a UK parliamentary yay overlaid with the little girl yay followed with karma?
	Much appreciated.
	All your great work.
	Best wishes, Andy.
	Forward.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	I wasn't quite ready for that.
	So he wants yay with little girl yay?
	Is that what he wants?
	Yeah, in other words, he wants that mumbling, the UK parliamentary thing.
	And he wants it with karma.
	And then a yay from the little girl.
	But he wants it with karma.
	With karma, yeah.
	Okay.
	Yay!
	You've got karma.
	How do people dream these up?
	I don't know!
	They ought to have these in their brain to come up with the...
	I think a good combination would be...
	I know how it can really make Adam's life impossible.
	This will be fun!
	JQ in Chicago, Illinois, $100.
	Greetings from Gitmo, Windy City.
	Sent you $100.
	That was half of the money which I split with my brother from scalping Adam's unused ACL ticket.
	Oh, yeah.
	So they set us up, JQ. This was the weekend when I did taxes and cleaned out the garage, and it was also raining, and that was the big Austin City Limits, which is a big music festival.
	It's a TV show, isn't it?
	A long time ago.
	But ACL, it's the big weekend we have.
	And it's huge.
	It's really, really big.
	And he had backstage passes for us.
	But, you know, by the time I was done with the taxes and by the time I was done with cleaning out the garage and then it was raining, I was wiped.
	I'm like, oh, man.
	So anyway, so they scalped him.
	That's cool.
	Good.
	Anyway, however I get the opportunity to punch lots of fools in the mouth, and I will continue to do so.
	In fact, I got punched in the mouth about a year ago by Dave Fiorino, who, to my knowledge, hasn't donated.
	Oh, no!
	Call him out as a douchebag.
	Douchebag!
	Thank you both for the best podcast in the universe.
	I wouldn't mind.
	I'd love two squirrels and one two to the head.
	Thanks.
	Two squirrels and one two to the head.
	Maybe I can do them in sequence.
	Squirrel!
	There you go.
	You've got karma.
	Thanks, JQ. You never ask for the karma.
	It's a bonus.
	It's okay.
	Here's my follow-up donation of $77.77.
	I previously donated $77.77 and asked for job karma.
	Well, it worked.
	I got the job that I was interviewing for and now I'm a sales engineer for a major technology company.
	It's a step up in pay and prestige.
	Thank you.
	No.
	Thank you.
	Thank karma.
	Doug Cook, Guthrie, Oklahoma, 73.
	Congratulations on your recent call sign, Adam.
	I'm sending a gift to each of you called a tiger tail.
	It's simply a length of wire placed across your antenna mounts where you're HT to increase your range.
	I've been a no agenda listener for a while and I've noticed the history of amateur radio all begins with John.
	He noted on a Twitter episode he had just got his technician license.
	Leo seemed fascinated.
	And within a few months, he got his technician license.
	This leads to Ham Nation and the free donated ICOM station, which couldn't be used due to bad local interference and antenna issues.
	Which, by the way, should be correctable.
	Who got a donated ICOM station?
	Leo.
	I told you about this.
	Yeah, but he doesn't use it.
	Well, he blames it on local interference.
	Now you have your license.
	Kudos to John for inspiring who knows how many others to get their amateur radio license or re-engage in the hobby.
	And simple karma, if you wish, for Adam, for you.
	For Adam.
	It says for Adam.
	In my professional life, I'm an opt...
	Oh, this is good.
	This is for Adam.
	He's offering us a free exam and lenses if we ever are in Oklahoma.
	Okay.
	So you can drive up there.
	Yeah, I could.
	Yeah, anyway.
	Thank you.
	What does he want?
	Does he want karma?
	Yeah, just a simple karma.
	Yeah, alright.
	KD5PDN from KF5SLN, here's your karma.
	You've got karma.
	Please, we couldn't get KJ6LNG on because he couldn't figure out how to set his tone.
	Hey, where did you get his call sign?
	It says it right there.
	Oh, right there.
	On the spreadsheet.
	On the spreadsheet.
	Good man.
	Uh-oh.
	Uh-oh.
	Yeah.
	Thank you.
	I didn't think it was going to make it.
	I thought for sure it would be gone.
	I thought it would be gone.
	Well, I think we're at the point now we're mocking it so much it's going to take a while.
	We should probably just stop.
	Just shut up.
	We should just be quiet.
	Except for the jingle.
	We have to keep the jingle.
	Yeah, I got the jingle.
	Jingle's good.
	William T. Chrisman IV in Baxter, Kentucky.
	6969.
	ITM from Gitmo Nation by Tuminous.
	Related congratulations for five years of the best podcast in the universe.
	News from the cancer front, the battle rages on against my Amy Mom stage four lung and bone.
	Reinforcements are needed as the last F cancer karma didn't work.
	It's back with a vengeance.
	I hope this was enough amount didn't negate the shot.
	Another please, Adam.
	Dish the rover and get a VW TDI. You'll love it.
	Thanks for being a beacon in the dark night, says to us.
	Can I tell you the late...
	Yeah, can I tell you the late...
	Well, give me the karma first.
	I've got to tell you about this stupid English piece of crap car.
	This is really bad news.
	Aha!
	You've got...
	F cancer!
	Alright, so...
	This is so disappointing.
	So, I drive home the other night.
	We're in the garage.
	Only one car fits in it.
	And I get out.
	And Mickey can't get out.
	I'm like, get out!
	This is how I talk to her.
	Get out!
	I got candles upstairs.
	And she can't open the door.
	And it's unlocked.
	So it turns out this stupid, stupid British POS has, it has like some, independent of the locking mechanism, that has a little motor that locks the door in each individual door.
	And this motor is now broken.
	And because it's broken with the door locked, the only way to replace it, and it's a $250 item, this electric motor, is you have to break the inside of the door.
	You can't just unscrew it.
	You have to break it.
	And then you can replace the motor, or at least unlock it.
	Then you can replace the motor.
	So I have to get a motor, and I have to find a new interior for the right-hand door of a 99 Range Rover.
	Hold on a second.
	I don't know what kind of engineers we're talking about here, but you're telling me...
	That there's no way using one of those devices like the cops use or anything else that you can force, you can unlock the door?
	No, so the locking mechanism opens, but you can't, the actual, because it's not just a mechanical thing.
	The locking mechanism then hits a switch which hits the lock engine.
	It's the stupidest car in the universe.
	I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
	I've bought two Range Rovers.
	You hated it so much.
	You hated it so much you bought two to just hate on it the mold.
	And the thing is now worth maybe $2,000.
	Maybe I should just bring it to the whatever and just get rid of it.
	I don't think they'll care if the door opens or not.
	They're just going to rip it apart for parts, aren't they?
	Why don't you leave it parked in a bad part of town?
	Yeah.
	For a couple of days.
	Yeah.
	And then go back.
	Yeah.
	Go back and see if it's on blocks and then call the police.
	And then what?
	And then call the insurance company saying that somebody somehow...
	I don't know what you can do.
	Yeah.
	What do you think?
	What kind of insurance do you think I have on this thing?
	All risk?
	You don't have lock insurance?
	They're going to look at it and go, okay, here's 50 bucks for your trouble.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	What you're told me just doesn't make any sense.
	Oh, yeah?
	Well, you know, we called around to a couple of...
	And the guys here in Texas, they won't even take a Range Rover.
	And one guy said, here's what he said.
	He says, oh, no, man, I don't do Range Rover, so I let one in, they'll all come in.
	I'm like, what?
	I don't want them all coming in here.
	It's nuts.
	If he lets one in, they'll all come in?
	That's exactly what he said.
	I'm like, wow, okay.
	You don't see him.
	You don't see him driving around much, I'll tell you.
	They should be driving around the block, I guess, looking for places to come in.
	You don't see them because obviously there's nobody going to work on them so they don't live there well.
	Yeah, no, people don't like them.
	You've got to get yourself a...
	I don't know what to get.
	I know, but now...
	So the thing is, do I... There's a lot of Lexuses in Texas.
	If anyone has a 99 Range Rover tan interior for the right-hand door, then, you know, then I can use them.
	I think it'd be better if you had black.
	It'll look so much better on the inside.
	Yeah, and once I'd be black.
	We just mix it up.
	Meanwhile, the Mustang Sally is crashing.
	I think that's a design flaw, what you described.
	Of course it's a design flaw.
	What happens if that breaks and you're in the water?
	And then your electric window doesn't work.
	You're dead.
	You're just dead.
	Dead.
	Of course it's a design flaw.
	You should keep one of those little weird hammers that have the little pointy thing that you can bust open glass with.
	That's a good point.
	So anyway, so, you know, it's like we can't...
	Mickey likes to drive all the time, so, you know, what, I'm going to sit in the back?
	Actually, that's kind of cool.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, what am I thinking?
	Put some candles at the bath and drive me around.
	All right.
	Anyway, sorry.
	Sorry for that.
	All right.
	Tegan Murray in Calgary, Alberta were...
	The money is.
	Edmonton's where more money is, though.
	69-69.
	In the morning, not a first-time boner here for Halloween this year.
	I decided to go as a No Agenda listener conspiracy theorist by wearing my No Agenda branded Big Brothers Watching You t-shirt and a tinfoil hat.
	Ooh, nice.
	I have to say that the costume was a mediocre success with the other slaves at the party.
	But what can you expect when you're hanging out with a bunch of sheeple?
	Here's to another five years.
	A lot of mixed metaphors in there.
	Thank you, Tegan.
	Curtis Gibson in London, Ontario, Canada, 6969.
	Hey, Adam and John.
	Keeping it alive, I'd like to call out my douchebag co-worker, Craig.
	Douchebag!
	For hitting me in the mouth but not donating.
	I'm hoping for some job karma as I'm writing a certification soon.
	For your information, I've never heard of Saskatoon being the Paris of Canada.
	And tell John I do know it's pronounced Gravenhurst, not Gravenhurst.
	Alright.
	Are you clipping your nails again?
	No, there's a pen.
	Okay.
	Alright.
	I believe you.
	I believe you.
	That's really fast clipping.
	That would be dangerous.
	Okay, a while back, buyrar.com, B-U-Y-R-A-R, which I suppose is the Watertown, Wisconsin, 6969.
	What is buyrar.com?
	A while back, I asked for some karma for some friends trying to have a child, and the karma worked.
	Now I heard that the friend has started to listen to the show and may donate to help their friends, and I figured I needed to step up and donate with a proactive de-douching defense.
	I hereby claim this as the official pre-de-douching maneuver.
	The pre-douching maneuver, it actually says.
	Plus, I hate how pre is misused so much and no one cares.
	Yeah, pre-cancer.
	Pre-cancer.
	Isn't that a good thing as it would be the state before cancer?
	Just saying.
	I'm asking for some swazzle enough karma to sell my house.
	Thanks for making the five and a half hour commute a bit more bearable.
	Can I get a no conflict, yay, karma shot?
	If I'm called out as a douchebag, then a de-douche would also be appreciated if he wasn't called out.
	Okay, so he wants a no conflict, yay, karma shot?
	There's no real conflict!
	Yay!
	You've got karma.
	By the way, you know, the swazzle enough is a very particular kind of karma.
	I mean, I don't want to interfere with your karma, whatever you want to do, but the swazzle enough is getting laid karma, and if you want, you know, selling house karma, that's a different deal.
	Brendan Sherb in Dubuque, Iowa, who's apparently friends, Does not call him out as a douchebag.
	He's buying sweet, sweet karma for his friends.
	The first for friends trying to add to their human resource to their family and the second for a buyer, buy RAR to help him sell his old house.
	Now that's a nice way to go.
	Now I think he deserves an apology from buyrar.com.
	Yeah, really.
	For douchebagging him.
	Yeah, essentially douchebagged him, even though he didn't.
	But anyway, go on.
	All right, here's the karma.
	You've got karma.
	That is very kind.
	Okay, and finally, William Durkin.
	I don't have a comment from him from Greenville, South Carolina.
	And that will end our segment.
	Looks like my evil ploy worked here.
	Patrick Kading, yeah, great, thanks.
	San Francisco, 5556.
	Adam said no more 5555, so here's an extra penny.
	Can I get a one hot milf baby karma for my beautiful wife and our human resource-to-be who is due at the end of November?
	Love the show.
	Absolutely, we can get that for you.
	That's one hot milf baby.
	You've got karma.
	And instead of dozens of 55s, 55, we got one from Ryan Beitenheimer.
	He didn't understand the point where I said we were refusing 55, 55s.
	You'll be sending that back?
	No.
	Timothy Lazardi, because it would hurt his feelings.
	Tampa, Florida, 55, 54.
	In the morning to you from Tampa, choose nuts.
	Florida.
	This is a great one.
	So he's irritating me by doing a choose nuts, but then turns around and irritates you by asking for Atlas Shrug Jingle.
	Atlas Shrug.
	By Ayn Rand.
	By Ayn Rand.
	Greg Brunsel, Sir Greg to you, in Kenosha, Wisconsin, $50.
	And Keith Van Dyke in Munnopara, someplace South Africa.
	Where is that?
	Let's see.
	Let me spread out the spreadsheet.
	Munnopara is what it says.
	$50.
	And that would conclude our donation segment for today's show.
	457.
	We've got 458 coming up on Sunday.
	We hope we get some people to...
	Chime in, donate, contribute, do anything, advertising, whatever you want to call it.
	No, we totally lost out.
	I shouldn't have said that about the 55-55s.
	Yeah, no, we probably lost all our...
	Yeah, yeah, lots of money.
	We gotta make good here.
	Lots of support.
	Gone.
	We gotta make good.
	Dan Zoltak said, I was recently called out by Simon and Alicia for not donating, which was the kick up the butt I needed.
	Please de-douche me with an in-the-morning karma.
	I'd like to...
	Did we already do this one?
	Zoltag?
	I don't see him.
	No, I don't see him either.
	I think this is something...
	JC would have put it on the spreadsheet.
	This is obviously for his last show.
	Well, I want to make sure we do it then.
	Yeah, do it.
	I'd like to contribute 5555 of the 256 towards Simon's knighthood for being so persistent.
	I also need to call Peter Hollum, whom I introduced to the podcast and has been listening for quite some time like he needs a kick up the butt in order to contribute.
	You mean as a douchebag?
	Douchebag!
	Thanks both for your awesome work over the past five years in the morning from Dan Zoltak.
	And we have no birthdays, no nightings, no nothing.
	It's a dead show.
	Completely dead.
	Thank you for nothing, Sandy.
	Really?
	Wow!
	Thanks for nothing.
	We gotta get us some FEMA money.
	We really do.
	Yeah.
	It's killing us, these storms.
	Yeah.
	Well, I have a feeling that this is not going to let up.
	We're going to be hearing a lot more.
	We're going to see fistfights breaking out.
	There'll be all kinds of stuff.
	This is not over.
	This is not over.
	It'll take us all the way up.
	Through the election, I'm sure.
	And of course, all we'll be talking about is, oh, people can't get out to vote.
	Oh, there's no electricity to vote.
	Oh, there's no this.
	There's no that.
	It's all it's going to be.
	And meanwhile, you know other stuff is happening.
	You know stuff is happening.
	No, but we're getting some really funny...
	Here's the Allstate Insurance commercial, which is just like a head shaker.
	It's right after the storm making everyone feel good, like they're going to get paid off instantly.
	Hold on a second.
	Where is it?
	It's not called Allstate.
	It's called Ludicrous Allstate Commercial.
	Ah, yes.
	That would be the one.
	It only took two minutes for this town to be destroyed.
	To a little girl who lived through it, this is more than a teddy bear.
	It's a step towards normal.
	It's why all state catastrophe teams not only have hot coffee and help for grown-ups, they've also handed out more than 12,000 teddy bears to kids.
	People come first.
	Everything else is second.
	That's all state stands.
	Are you in good hands?
	Wow.
	Bull crap.
	Wow.
	That's hardcore.
	Yeah.
	12,000 teddy bears, you chumps.
	My goodness.
	They threw that together?
	They had that ready?
	Because that's a famous actor.
	Yeah, no, but he is the Allstate spokesman.
	Right.
	No, I know, I know.
	So they had done this just waiting for it.
	Yeah, well, you know, this is like, you know, all the newspapers and TV stations have everybody's obit written in advance.
	Right.
	So they also have one for the next, like, riot or the next earthquake in L.A. Allstate.
	Did you lose your home in a big crevice in the earth when it opened up?
	Well, Allstate is here.
	We've got blankets and water with teddy bears.
	Wow.
	Wow, wow, wow.
	Next time, you fool!
	Wow.
	Alright, let me play these clips from this Washington Post.
	I'm not quite sure how this works.
	Why does a newspaper put together a cyber conference about cyber warfare?
	Why is this a Washington Post symposium?
	They think they can make some money.
	Actually, here's what sometimes happens.
	You've got a big advertiser, and the advertiser's got more money than they can spend, or they can spend it more wisely on a targeted marketing promotion than they can in the newspaper itself, probably some defense department, Brockwell.
	And they say, you know, if you guys put on a conference about this, we could finance the whole thing, but we can't do the conference.
	You have to do it.
	And so, okay, we can do that.
	Yeah.
	It's basically like a part of a package.
	Yeah, this is like those advertorials that all these places have to succumb to.
	Right.
	But it's very targeted, and they use their leverage of the newspaper to give it credibility.
	But then why would Janet Napolitano show up to one of these?
	Why wouldn't she?
	She's in Washington, D.C. It's a short ride.
	It's free food for her.
	Mm-hmm.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Well, I mean, you know, it's in the middle of the hurricane.
	Well, the hurricane didn't hit Washington, D.C. Now, here's the lead-in to this thing.
	I just thought it was interesting to listen to how this was being positioned by this douche from the Washington Post.
	It's a perfect morning to talk about scary things.
	Woo!
	She sounds like the woman from NPR, advertising, whatever you want to call it.
	It's not her, though.
	Not her.
	Scary things with unpleasant names like malware and computer worms and destructive viruses and Trojan horses.
	Are you scared yet?
	How's a Trojan horse a scary thing?
	It was a gift that was accepted because it was decorative.
	Malware.
	It's a scary word.
	Scary.
	Malware.
	Scary, scary words.
	Those innocent and even cheery little messages that you get in your inbox.
	Like what?
	Like Viagra?
	That cause you nothing but headache and loss.
	Oh, headache and loss.
	Yeah.
	This is her intro to Janet Napolitano, if you can believe it or not.
	You care about cybersecurity if you don't like the idea of people snooping around your inbox at work or your personal email.
	Oh, you mean like the NSA? Yeah, like the government.
	You care if you're a company that stores data electronically and worries about competitive theft over the internet.
	And you care if you've listened recently to the director of the CIA paint a dire picture of day-to-day cybercrime and to Leon Panetta's warnings that foreign enemies, if we don't shore ourselves up, can inflict enormous damage to our power grid, water systems, and critical infrastructure.
	We used to worry about planes and bombs, and now we're looking about people with bad intentions and good hacking skills.
	That is a bumper sticker right there.
	I've got bad intentions and good hacking skills.
	Maybe it's a t-shirt.
	Just bad intentions and good hacking skills.
	That's me, baby!
	People care, and increasingly so.
	And so this morning, the Washington Post...
	Who is this idiot?
	She's the...
	I don't know.
	She's the Washington Post lady.
	You want me to look it up?
	No, go on.
	Just keep playing it.
	Hold on.
	It's almost done.
	I just thought it was a great intro.
	And increasingly so.
	And so this morning, the Washington Post has convened a stellar group of cyber experts.
	Oh, you mean like Janet Napolitano who doesn't use email and probably doesn't know how to use a computer at all?
	Is she a stellar expert?
	I knew it would get you.
	To highlight the issues, the vulnerabilities out there with the whole aim of talking about a stronger defense.
	So let me welcome now a person who...
	A thing.
	We're not sure if a lady, yeah, a person.
	A person who is well-steeped in cyber.
	She's well-steeped in cyber, John.
	Steeped.
	She's soaking in it now.
	You're soaking in it, Madge.
	So let me welcome now a person who is well steeped in cyber, a member of the President Obama's inner circle, Secretary Homeland Security Janet Napolitano.
	Woo!
	She's steeped in cyber!
	I think that's another t-shirt.
	I'm steeped in cyber.
	Steeped in cyber.
	So this whole conference was great.
	I mean, we could literally turn our microphones off and just play this conference.
	And our audience would...
	It's almost as funny.
	I mean, you can't make this up.
	So I did just want to play one...
	Again, this is why I don't understand.
	Why is the Washington Post putting together this stellar panel of experts who are all steeped in cyber?
	I don't get it.
	You could figure it out if you were there.
	Because there's something in the handout bags or something?
	Maybe something in the handout bags or somebody who sponsored the coffee.
	I already played the piece earlier where Lucy is like, you know, this hurricane is like being under attack.
	We're under attack.
	We're under attack.
	What else is under attack?
	It's seen thefts of significant intellectual property, intrusions into significant contractors with the United States.
	We have seen control systems at small water plants in rural Texas attacked.
	That is so bogative.
	That is so bogative.
	Now she's just pulling stuff off the internet.
	Somebody else is pulling it off the internet.
	She's not pulling off anything.
	She can't use a computer.
	She's just reading the printed PowerPoint slides.
	You're right.
	I'm sorry.
	And are undergoing attacks on some of the largest financial institutions in the United States.
	Ongoing attacks.
	Ongoing attacks.
	Let me just see.
	Can you get to MechanicsBank.com right now, John?
	Let me just see.
	MechanicsBank.com.
	Oh!
	Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I got to it.
	I could get to my bank.
	So there's not an ongoing attack there.
	How about Chase?
	My daughter has an account at Chase.
	Chase.com.
	Let me see.
	Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the page loaded.
	You think that there's maybe still an ongoing attack, John?
	What's happening?
	How could this be?
	Yeah, you're pinging the death out of these things.
	Right now, you.
	I am.
	Stop him.
	I'm ddossingchase.com.
	Let's continue with Lucy Napolitano.
	...today.
	And I think while it is impossible to put a hard number on what these cost, there was a study last year, Norton, that said...
	Now, hold on a second.
	Norton?!
	Hey, Norton!
	Wait a minute.
	Norton is the antivirus company?
	Norton?
	Norton!
	Hey, Norton!
	These are the guys that are...
	By the way, Chase.com is not loading entirely.
	Oh, there it is.
	Norton, the antivirus guy, they say how much money is lost because of cyber?
	Yeah, let me, yeah, because here's why.
	Because Norton has no reason to exaggerate anything to sell more software for their benefit.
	No, exactly.
	So they're the source that the government uses because everyone knows they're going to be very, very straightforward about the, and be very honest about how much money is lost by cyber.
	Independent, you mean?
	They're completely independent.
	Independent.
	Yeah, very independent.
	They got no bone, they got no They got no dog in the hunt.
	That's right.
	How much money do you think Norton has said that they lost his son?
	Trillions!
	There was a study last year, Norton, that said $114 billion.
	Now, $114 billion, that's Norton.
	However...
	Annually, along with the times to repair, victims' loss, and the like, so that...
	Wait, what did she just say?
	Victims' loss.
	Along with the time to repair and victim's loss.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Along with the times to repair, victim's loss.
	Hey.
	Hello, Curry and DeVore Consulting Group.
	Can you give me your times to repair estimate, please?
	Victim's loss.
	Time to repair.
	Rebuilding.
	Infrastructure.
	Power grid.
	Be quiet now.
	...and the like.
	So that raises it to almost $400 billion annually.
	What?
	And I think that is a very conservative estimate, I must say, given what crosses our desk at DHS. It's half a trillion dollars.
	Conservative.
	Conservative.
	Conservative guess on exactly how much we're getting ripped off by these horrible attacks.
	How about stopping them then?
	Sounds like it'd be worth it.
	Well, that's why she wants more money, so that she can hire the people.
	They already have enough people to find these people.
	I'm always reminded of the guy, the hacker that somebody tracked down, and he was living in Minnesota.
	And the guy says, I got this guy.
	He's been screwing with our bank, or not the bank, but my company and all the rest.
	He hands it over to the FBI. They got no time for this.
	We haven't got time to deal with this crap.
	Nobody wants to do anything about it, so this is just totally bull crap.
	Yeah.
	No, I'm with you.
	I'm agreeing it's bullcrap.
	I'm totally with you.
	By the way, talking about somebody hemming and hawing, I just want to play this clip out of the blue to show people, this is a guy, I could play this for an hour.
	There's a clip I have where the guy just can't get to the point.
	And he mumbles.
	The clip is the guy can't get to the point.
	I could have played this for an hour and he still never gets to the point.
	He just hems and haws.
	I had to stop watching it.
	But this is the kind of suffering and torture that we put ourselves through on behalf of this show to listen to stuff like this.
	Happening to people's incomes.
	Directly.
	And so that's what we set out to do.
	And the results are what I had believed they would be from observing other data.
	And that is that people's incomes, the incomes of Americans in general, of those who are working...
	Right.
	Yeah, that's painful.
	I'm telling you, he says, incomes as American incomes and incomes that are people that are working are incomes that are the ones we looked at.
	Believe me, our, our.
	It's painful.
	It's painful.
	I know, I know.
	I go through it all the time, even when I'm ill.
	Why are these people put on the podium?
	Because we're not available.
	Apparently not.
	Because you're too busy writing your giblet about electric cars.
	You're too busy lounging in the bathtub surrounded by candles ready for the knife to plunge in.
	You know, I'm going to wake up and there in lipstick on the mirror, it says, do not move.
	We've removed your kidneys.
	Don't worry, that's a different story.
	Hey, Redbook, Redbook, Redbook, Redbook, Redbook, Redbook.
	Jack Daniels, whiskey company Jack Daniels has recently released their unaged rye whiskey.
	It is a clear, clear content in the bottle.
	This is the Red Book.
	My prediction, it's coming true.
	This is the next step before we get to Jack Daniels just selling moonshine and calling it moonshine.
	This is about it.
	This is moonshine, what you're talking about.
	Right.
	Yeah, that's what it is.
	That's why it's clear.
	Rye whiskey.
	So it's moonshine.
	Unaged rye whiskey.
	That's got to be really a charmer.
	But that's not the point.
	Unless it's filtered.
	Now, you can make this to be a decent product.
	If you charcoal filter it about seven times, which is what they do with a lot of crappy vodkas that are made, you can really make them taste really smooth.
	Do you have a bottle there?
	I know.
	Well, you look it up and see if it's charcoal filtered five times minimum.
	Would that say that?
	I would say it's probably pretty drinkable.
	Would it say that?
	I have a picture of the bottle.
	It'll say, yeah, it's got to say it somewhere.
	They even call it Tennessee Rye.
	How awesome is that?
	I'm telling you, the next thing, the mistake they're making is they need to put it in a mason jar.
	That's the mistake they're making.
	They still have it in a bottle.
	No, actually, somebody's already done that trick.
	There's a mason jar whiskey.
	Yeah, but this is going to be the next big thing, and you were laughing at me, and you watch.
	It's going to be all the celebrities are going to have them.
	Everyone's going to have their own celebrity-based moonshine, and we're going to be left in the dark.
	Hold on a second.
	Here's the story.
	This is Food Beast.
	Jack Daniel's unaged rye whiskey will be released in Tennessee in December at a suggested retail price of $49.99?
	Oh, people will pay for it.
	Not inventory, not aged in barrels, just straight out of the still, and they're going to charge it?
	This theory of yours is not going to work at these prices.
	What idiot is going to buy a $49.99 bottle of whiskey that is essentially moonshine?
	The same person who buys an iPhone 5?
	There's that.
	Unaged.
	I'm looking at the bottle.
	They got unaged as a big benefit.
	Yes, I'm telling you.
	Look, I'm not saying it's a good product.
	I'm just telling you.
	I'm a trend spotter.
	Adam Curry.
	I spotted this one.
	Trend spotter.
	I spotted this, didn't I? Yes, I'll give you a full credit for spotting this.
	But how stupid are we that we're not on the bandwagon?
	49.9?
	Are you kidding me?
	We're not on the bandwagon.
	Once again...
	You can get a good bottle of decent, really, actually quite a good bottle of cognac for that.
	Once again...
	That's probably been aged for 12 to 18 years.
	Once again, we're on the outside looking in.
	Good work.
	That's about it.
	Good work.
	Anyway, don't buy that product, ladies and gentlemen.
	It's a rip-off.
	This is what we should be making.
	Okay, listen, you want to make some serious money?
	Booze.
	What was that Adam Carolla?
	What did he have, Mangina?
	What was his drink?
	Mangria.
	Mangria.
	I'm sorry.
	I don't know where that came from.
	All right.
	Mangina drink.
	Mangina.
	Yeah, it's a good one.
	There's something wrong with you.
	I'm sick.
	I'm completely sick.
	You are sick.
	I had to kill him in the bathtub because he was sick.
	I'm crying.
	You make me laugh, Dvorak.
	You sometimes, you really make me laugh.
	Alright, so listen.
	Instead of what he's doing, we should make no agenda moonshine.
	I'm telling you, it's a hit.
	We could have a whole separate business.
	It's a different government agency that deals with that, I think.
	So we'll look into it.
	We'll look into it.
	You're the booze guy.
	You know a lot about booze.
	I'll check it out.
	I mean, excuse me.
	They're selling basically moonshine.
	Which is unfiltered, unaged, uncharcoaled.
	You know, it's turpentine in the wrong bottle.
	This is the problem.
	We can get mason jars.
	We can have our audience send us mason jars.
	And we just put some in.
	We just put some in the mason jar.
	Slap a label on that with a no agenda thing.
	And essentially, here's what we do.
	At random, you get a no agenda art as the label.
	Right?
	So every label is different.
	Right?
	Right?
	We have hundreds and hundreds.
	You with me?
	What do you mean?
	You don't sound excited.
	Well, you know, okay.
	I'll get more excited as this idea progresses.
	I'm at the Jack Daniels site and they don't even have this product on their own website.
	That's how much of a trend spotter I am.
	The company doesn't even know it and I know what's going on.
	It's weird.
	Okay, anyway.
	What are we talking about?
	How about, let's talk about, oh, here's another...
	Douchebag!
	Here's McCain.
	McCain, McCain.
	Well, of course, the Benghazi thing is not gone.
	You know, it's gone temporarily, and it may be gone forever, but it's not like we can just be like the rest of these douchebag news outfits and not talk about it anymore, about the botched kidnapping, which resulted in the death of the ambassador, and the cover-up.
	So McCain is the only guy out there who is dumb enough to be talking about it.
	But when McCain talks, he lets little things out which are really cool.
	That's what I like about him because he's such a douche.
	And you learn things just by listening to him.
	So here he is talking about Benghazi and we learn something.
	Touting and giving all the details like when they got bin Laden.
	But now we know that there were tapes, recordings, inside the consulate during this fight.
	And they came and the FBI finally got in and took those.
	And now they're classified as, quote, top secret.
	I love that.
	So there's top secret tapes, John.
	Top secret tapes.
	And remember what I was saying about the drones?
	About there being drones?
	Yeah, they're flying around, a bunch of them.
	Turns out, I was spot on the money.
	Well, I was just going to say, Senator, you have called for declassifying the drone pictures.
	Apparently, there were drone pictures.
	What kind of journalist is this?
	Drone pictures!
	Drone pictures!
	What is it like?
	There's like an Instamatic camera on the drone, you douche!
	Gorgon's there.
	Drone pictures.
	Drone pictures.
	And I want to see them.
	This guy's living in the World War II intelligence U2 spy photographs.
	You know, like the black and white.
	Yeah, you got your Minox camera with you?
	With the little crosshairs on it.
	You can take a picture of a document.
	These people have no idea the quality, the level of resolution that these drone video systems, Gorgon Stare, that they project.
	It's unbelievable, the detail.
	Yeah, they use adaptive optics, very high-end.
	Yeah, and it can be over an area of six kilometers.
	This is not drone pictures.
	Hey, say, hey McCain, did you see the drone pictures?
	The drone Polaroid?
	They've got an Instagram.
	I was just going to say, Senator, you have called for declassifying the drone pictures.
	Apparently there were drone pictures.
	Have you seen those pictures, Senator?
	No, I have not.
	But what I do know is that those in the surveillance records from inside and around the consulate will show that there was no demonstration.
	The Turkish ambassador left the consulate and said goodbye to Chris Stevens at 8.30 at night.
	There was no demonstration.
	Now we learn something else here, as you are coughing up a lung, apparently.
	Yeah, I have to get some water.
	I'm dying of...
	Okay, go get some water then.
	Wow, I'm sorry.
	That's not good.
	It sounds like you had mangina.
	I almost did.
	By the way, that's nothing that...
	Well, while you're doing that, let me hop on the repeater and see if we got any hams out there.
	Let's see.
	KF5SLN is monitoring.
	Let's see if we have anyone on the frequency on the repeater.
	We got ingested some mildew.
	You got mildew?
	You got mildew in your throat, your back?
	Yeah.
	Okay, I'm good to go.
	So another thing I just hear here is that the ambassador to Turkey was visiting there at 8 p.m.
	and he just left.
	He just left the building.
	Yeah, that is weird.
	And the turkey guy?
	Come on, this turkey?
	What's he doing?
	What's the ambassador for Turkey doing there in Benghazi?
	No, I'm telling you, this is a great clip.
	This is clip of the day.
	No, I'm not going to take it.
	It's not that great.
	It's not that great.
	Well, it is to me, because this is all new stuff.
	So for literally days and days, they told the American people something that had no basis in fact whatsoever.
	To me it feels a bit, Rob, doesn't feel a bit stolen.
	Doesn't feel like a real clip of the day.
	I liked it.
	Okay.
	Well, I'll take it.
	I'll take it.
	Now, clip of the day has got to be this thing I got to chunk.
	Oh, here, someone's logged onto the repeater.
	All right, well, you're too late now.
	I did my call out, my CQ. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Get back to the story.
	Chunk's house got broken into.
	Chunk?
	Chunk, yeah.
	And the CIA broke into his house?
	No, Sink.
	What's his name?
	Chink?
	Chink.
	Chink.
	So he turns this into an anti-gun thing.
	Which is pretty funny.
	Oh, really?
	You want to hear it?
	Yeah.
	Because something crazy happened in my house last night.
	Happened?
	It was crazy!
	At 1.30 in the morning, my sister-in-law came upstairs.
	We've got a two-story house.
	We are in a triangle relationship.
	and she was downstairs, and a guy had come up to- - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
	Let's go through the timeline again.
	His sister-in-law was at the house at 2.30 in the morning.
	No, he says, I guess his sister-in-law lives on the first floor.
	They have a two-story house.
	And so his sister-in-law lives downstairs.
	And he has a two-story house.
	That's what it says.
	Something crazy happened in my house last night.
	It's his house.
	We know that.
	At 1.30 in the morning, my sister-in-law came upstairs.
	We've got a two-story house.
	1.30 in the morning, his sister-in-law's roaming around his house.
	And she was downstairs.
	Because normally she's apparently upstairs.
	I had come up to the door that we have downstairs in her room and started shaking and going, I'm Brian!
	Let me in!
	Let me in!
	I'm in trouble!
	You gotta let me in!
	And that scared the hell out of her, obviously.
	A guy we don't know at all.
	She ran upstairs, called the police and said, you know, can you help me with what's happening downstairs?
	So here's the timeline.
	She runs upstairs, calls the police.
	Okay?
	And there's a guy who's...
	Why did she run upstairs to call the police unless she was already upstairs?
	So obviously...
	This is just something.
	Okay, go on.
	I'm not going to interrupt anymore.
	Check it out.
	And it turns out there was a crazy guy in our yard.
	And he'd been all over the neighborhood.
	He'd gone to four different houses.
	He'd thrown, I think, a stone through a Starbucks, etc.
	And when I looked outside, he was in the driveway.
	And thank God the cops had shown up.
	And he's yelling at the cops and he won't back down.
	And the police started walking towards him and towards the house.
	And you know what he did?
	He bolted to our backyard and then broke down our back door and was in our living room.
	Now at this point, I've got Jenny, my sister-in-law, I've got my wife, I've got my newborn daughter all downstairs because they were curious.
	They came down to see what was happening with the police.
	I got him upstairs right away, I turned on the lights, and I let the cops in.
	It all took about two seconds or so, and it was incredibly scary.
	Was it as scary as the tree falling?
	This is all two seconds, by the way.
	Two seconds.
	Now, first we've got to get in a different meme.
	And the cops came in and handled the situation perfectly.
	And they got him on the ground, and thank God nobody got hurt.
	And they said he might be on bath salts.
	He was acting really crazy.
	Now, we don't know that.
	You obviously need toxicology reports to figure that out.
	But there's no question that he was acting incredibly crazy, screaming and making no sense whatsoever.
	Okay.
	Right, so that should be the end of the story.
	Bath salts, great.
	No!
	So then, after I told this story to friends here, they asked me a really interesting question.
	Did it change your mind on gun control?
	Did you wish that you had a gun in the house when you have your newborn there, you got your two-year-old son, you got your whole family, you got your mother upstairs, etc.?
	And I said, not at all.
	In that moment, I thought, thank God there's no guns in the house.
	Because when the cops come, what if I've got a gun?
	Then they're confused.
	Is it the guy with the gun that I have to worry about?
	Or is it the guy on bath salts trying to eat your face off?
	The guy without the gun.
	What's my priority?
	Do I subdue the guy with the gun or do I go after the crazy guy?
	Which one is which?
	Now, they say, what if the other guy had a gun?
	All right, but if he's got a gun and he starts shooting and I start shooting and then the cops start shooting, there's bullets flying all over my house and I got a two-year-old, a new newborn and my wife and my whole family in the house.
	That's the last thing in the world that I want.
	Unbelievable.
	This is great.
	I'm shooting, he's shooting, the cop is shooting.
	There's just bullets flying all over the place.
	It's a melee.
	I can't have bullets flying everywhere.
	I swear to you, the whole time I was thinking, thank God there are no guns and thank God he wasn't armed either.
	And look, if he's got a gun and we all start shooting, it isn't going to help anyway.
	And trying to fight back against a crazy guy with a gun is not what you should be doing.
	No, no, no!
	You should be hanging out with your sister-in-law.
	That's what the cops are there for, and they were there, and they were ready, and they responded.
	Okay, it doesn't help the situation.
	That went on for like another 15 minutes.
	This is pathetic.
	I thought you'd like it.
	Chunk, he's too funny.
	Yeah, well now they got Joy Behar on that stupid current channel now.
	You know, what happened to her?
	I mean, she literally went from CNN to HLN to, wait, no, she had his network show, and then...
	Yeah, no, well, she's nuts.
	I mean, she's obviously, she's a horrible, horrible interviewer.
	She's a comic that is left-wing crazy.
	Yeah.
	And she's, I don't know, and she obviously wasn't maintaining her numbers.
	They were paying her a lot of money.
	I know the current's not paying her anything.
	If they're paying her anything, it's crazy.
	No, she's just...
	It's like once a week and she's...
	Yeah, she just needs to be there for the show just to, you know, just to, you know, be someone in New York society.
	And she says, I think one of her promos is she says, now she can speak her mind.
	Oh, right.
	As if she wasn't speaking her mind too much on the other show.
	You know who else's show got canceled?
	Who?
	Anderson Pooper.
	Oh, yeah, I know.
	They canceled his daytime show.
	Yeah, I know.
	After two seasons.
	They didn't give it a shot.
	They didn't give it enough time.
	Yeah, I think he got some smart advice finally.
	Like, dude, stop doing this.
	This is not good for you.
	You know, he could be anchor at, you know, he could be.
	Yeah, he should stay with his anchoring style.
	He could get out of CNN. He could get out of his CNN contract.
	Here's one for the Red Book.
	He will be like the big nighttime anchor for CBS or NBC. Not ABC. CBS or NBC. You know, he'll be like Tom Brokaw or Peter Jennings.
	Cooper can do that.
	You know, he's getting his chops there.
	You know, he's standing in there.
	Right, and on that other show, that daytime show, he was acting goofy, and he was acting silly, and you couldn't take him too seriously.
	And he's also acting too gay.
	Yeah.
	Well, there's that.
	You know, we have a...
	You know how the Dutch and the Belgians don't like each other?
	They're kind of like a love-hate relationship.
	Yeah.
	Why is that?
	I don't know.
	Because Belgium isn't a real country.
	And I don't know.
	I don't know what it is.
	But they have a love-hate relationship, but yet they love each other.
	They hate each other.
	They make jokes.
	I don't know.
	What you hate, you make fun of.
	What you love, you make fun of.
	So we have these jokes like, you know, do you know why the Belgian Navy didn't, you know, only set sail once during the Second World War?
	You know, and the answer is, you know, because they ran out of coal, you know, stuff like that.
	Yeah.
	No, actually, that's a good one.
	I think it's the Belgian Air Force because they ran out of coal.
	That's even better.
	Yeah.
	So here's one that I read.
	This is great.
	So they had to fire the director of a Belgian jail because he lost the master key.
	Of the prison.
	What?
	He lost the master key.
	Now they have to change all the locks.
	The Dutch made that story up.
	I'm sure they did.
	No, this is Euronews.
	I bet you there's video to it, too.
	If it's Euronews.
	Where's the key?
	Hey, Bruno, where's the key?
	I don't know the key.
	I don't know.
	Where is the key?
	I lost the key.
	Where is the key?
	I just thought that was so funny.
	The Belgians lost the key.
	We have to change all the locks in the prison.
	That's so typical.
	Well, let me see if there's video with this.
	Euronews usually has video.
	Hold on.
	Oh, yes.
	Here it is.
	This is under the category...
	Where is it?
	And now, back to real news.
	Except the Flash won't play.
	Well, here it is.
	God, this is annoying.
	The governor of one Belgian jail has been suspended after keys to the cells went missing.
	The chaplain of Leuven Prison mislaid his master set, and staff fear inmates could have got their hands on them.
	It means the lucky prisoner will be able to open any of the 180 cells, and the internal doors that separate the 20 sections of the jail.
	Officials are trying to get to the bottom of the matter.
	We've asked for an investigation and a report on what happened.
	We want to know who had the key line.
	That's the news you have to deal with, ladies and gentlemen.
	That is the news.
	It's better than dealing with this Alyssa Milano commercial for UNICEF, which is...
	I thought these things were out of vogue, where they show the starving kid, even though the kid's in the studio, showing the starving kid, and then they only cost you a nickel, so give us $15.
	You know, those ads.
	Now, this is Alyssa Milano from Who's the Boss?
	I don't know where she's from.
	Well, yeah.
	Alyssa Milano, she was Tony Danza's daughter on Who's the Boss?
	I don't know.
	I guess it's her.
	Okay.
	And she's doing a UNICEF commercial?
	Yeah.
	And every step of the way you go, you can't not watch this without making commentary while it's running.
	Do we play it?
	Yeah, play it.
	What would you do if there was a child right in front of you, sitting all alone, crying in pain from hunger?
	I can give him some food.
	Now they just show a bunch of kids.
	And what if all you had to do was reach into your pocket and pull out 50 cents to save that child's life?
	He can't eat 50 cents.
	He needs food.
	This is that child.
	And this...
	Give him some food, lady!
	These two quarters.
	It's never been easier to save the life of a child.
	Go online or call this number and join UNICEF with your $15 monthly gift.
	It's only 50 cents a day and it means you'll get these children the critical help they need to survive.
	Emergency care, nutrition, vaccines, anti-malaria bed nets delivered every single day of the year to the children who could die without it.
	That's what your 50 cents a day buys.
	And at UNICEF, we believe that's what every child deserves.
	We know you do, too.
	You know, I just read something...
	But first of all, how do you get an insurance plan for $15 a month that covers all these benefits?
	Someone in the chat room just said something very, very right.
	Do you remember at Halloween...
	Who is this?
	A Gammon.
	At Halloween, we used to carry around UNICEF boxes.
	And you go trick-or-treating, and then you say, do you have something for UNICEF? Do you remember that?
	Vaguely.
	I do remember there used to be that sort of thing in the March of Dimes.
	There's another one like it.
	Yeah.
	So they've just...
	Who knows?
	I don't know.
	I question all this stuff.
	I have no idea.
	I have no idea.
	I can help my...
	You know, I help my neighbor what I can.
	We had a thing.
	I saw something really beautiful here in Austin.
	Screw this.
	Screw this, Alyssa Milano.
	You've adopted kids?
	I've adopted the policy of giving any homeless person to ask me for some money to do some money.
	I've always done that.
	Yeah, you're actually adamant about it.
	Yeah, it's like, oh, here you go.
	Because they're fallen angels.
	No, I've adopted kids.
	The adoption thing, that always got to me.
	Because you send off your money and then you get a letter from the kid, right?
	And then you're like, oh, that's cool.
	And then you write a letter back.
	And then all of a sudden it's like the agency says, well, you got a new kid.
	Well, now, what happened to the old kid?
	And you get new pictures.
	Have you ever done this?
	Have you ever seen this happen?
	No, I've never done that, but I can just imagine.
	It's really crazy.
	Do you think there's some scammish thing about it, maybe?
	I don't know, but it's like, you get pictures, and I remember, like, we'd send pictures back, and with Christina, we'd just, like, and let's take a picture of us and the family, and we'd send back the photo, and then, you know, like, we wouldn't hear anything, and then we got a new letter.
	Hi, I'm your new kid.
	I'm your new foster kid.
	I'm like, what happened to the old one?
	And then they never answer you.
	It's strange.
	Ha!
	Yeah.
	Well, that surprises me.
	But here's how America works the one that I grew up in.
	So we have the market on Saturdays.
	And everyone's got their email list and their Facebook pages, you know, so we know what chicken, you know, if we got whole chickens or, you know, what the guys are bringing.
	Everyone kind of communicates.
	So it's a small community through the Austin Sustainable Food something or other.
	And, you know, we know all our people at the market, and so you can kind of pre-order.
	Like, hey, you know, I want the eight-pound tenderloin, and they'll reserve it for me.
	And, you know, just so they know that you're coming.
	So then we got an email that Jane, who is with the chicken lady, she's a chicken lady with a chicken guy.
	It's three of them on the farm with, like, they have one guy helping.
	This is what they do.
	They farm chickens.
	So she'd fallen down.
	She'd really broken her wrist severely and had to have an operation.
	And, of course, they have no insurance.
	Of course.
	I mean, I don't know how Obamacare works, but they don't have it.
	And it's a $28,000 operation she needs to have.
	And they talked them down to $10,000.
	How crazy is this?
	If they paid in cash.
	So someone who knows them wrote this story up and opened up like a Kickstarter thing or donation thing.
	And then literally everyone pitched in.
	Everyone threw in some bucks.
	We threw in a hundred bucks and then we paid for it.
	And we take care of our own.
	That's how it used to work.
	And that doesn't happen anymore.
	It all has to be from some agency and some thing and whatever.
	And I feel so much better giving my money directly to someone who's either on the street or is in this situation.
	And they do it with a community of people and we help out.
	And there are people helping out at the stall because she couldn't be there.
	That's how it should be.
	That's what it used to be.
	It's not.
	Now it's like, just change your Twitter icon, text $10, I'm done, whatever.
	Everyone's fine.
	Yeah, I got the blue icon, I'm done.
	Yeah, done.
	And it sucks.
	And it doesn't feel right.
	So, you know, it's funny because it depends on the culture.
	Americans are very generous if given the opportunity.
	If given the opportunity just to be douchebags, they'll do that too if the government wants to take over the place.
	We're good at being douchebags.
	That's true.
	So I'm in England, in London one time, and there's some guy with one leg missing on crutches.
	The guy was a wreck.
	And he asked me if I could spare a dime kind of thing.
	And so I gave him a pound note or whatever I had because he just was pathetic.
	Some guy in a big lorry, big truck, stops the truck in the street and cusses me out.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Why?
	Cusses me out for giving the beggar any money whatsoever.
	He's yelling at me.
	Never do that!
	You're going to just blah, blah, blah.
	He just went crazy.
	I brought this up with some Brits and they all say, oh yeah, it's considered bad form to give money to anyone in the street.
	It's begging.
	The place will end up like India.
	So I don't think a lot of cultures are all as generous as we are.
	I will say, on the other hand, we have a guy here in Austin who has a great scam going on.
	There's this little restaurant.
	It's a seafood restaurant.
	Small.
	Very, very small.
	You can sit outside.
	And we're sitting there with some friends.
	And they live right in that neighborhood.
	And there's this old guy.
	And he has a blind stick.
	You know, a white stick with a...
	A samurai sword.
	That's what he has.
	He's got a blind person's stick.
	An ugly stick.
	And he's not wearing glasses or anything, but he has that, like, I'm blind look.
	And he may be blind, I don't know.
	But he stands on one side of the street.
	And then you could just watch it all day long.
	He's just sitting there.
	And then he'll be standing with his stick.
	And then someone will come up and say, do you need help crossing the street?
	And he'll say, yeah.
	And then they help him cross the street.
	And then he'll say, you got a dollar?
	And then if the people don't give him the dollar, he's like, thanks for caring!
	Literally.
	And he'll walk in.
	Yeah, I've seen these guys.
	And he's in the middle of the street as the cars come around.
	And the cars will literally go around and stop, park, get out.
	Hey, man, do you need some help crossing the street?
	Oh, yeah, thanks.
	And at the end, he's like, you got a dollar?
	And then he'll give it to him.
	Man, thanks.
	Thanks for caring.
	And he does it all day long.
	He probably brings in two, three hundred bucks a day.
	I'm telling you.
	It's an awesome...
	Now, the guy may be able to see...
	Thanks for caring.
	Thanks for caring.
	What a douchebag.
	You know?
	That's not value for value.
	I like it when someone does something.
	If you make me laugh, you know?
	That's value for value.
	There's nothing...
	I don't feel guilty about giving you money.
	I don't feel anything.
	It can be just, you know, you got a funny sign.
	That's all good.
	You know?
	Do something.
	I'll buy crap from you.
	Value for value, that's the way forward.
	Stop with all the...
	Stop!
	Stop.
	I'm sick.
	I'm done.
	Yeah, you're done.
	You should go to bed.
	Yeah.
	Why can't?
	I can't go to bed.
	How come this is not playing?
	Why can't you go to bed?
	Why can't I go to bed?
	I got like...
	I'm trying to find a job, and I got an interview.
	Okay, well, good luck.
	This is really good.
	I got a job interview at six.
	I feel like crap.
	At six?
	Yeah.
	What, are you going to be a nightclub bouncer?
	I don't want to talk about it.
	But, you know...
	I gotta do what I gotta do.
	George Lucas has got $4 billion for selling his old franchise to the idiots at Disney.
	I just want to tell an anecdote about this story.
	Alright.
	I have a clip, but it's not important.
	I'll stop.
	I remember this distinctly.
	When Star Wars first came out in 1977, Disney made a big stink about how crappy it was.
	as a movie and they went on to say we can show you how to do it right and they came out with a movie called The Black Hole which was just a piece of crap And now they've been to buying Lucas.
	I just thought there was irony in there somewhere.
	You can play it.
	Play us out.
	Wow.
	Play us out.
	Glad I stopped the show for that, everybody.
	I didn't expect you to stop the show.
	Well, I knew you weren't going to make it all the way to the end.
	It's all right.
	Yeah.
	No, I'm spent.
	So, John, would you please wish me some job karma?
	Job karma to you, Adam Curry.
	Right, because we ain't cutting the mustard, if you know what I mean.
	That's what it is.
	Those candles are expensive.
	My Wiccan adventures are draining me.
	And I'll see you tomorrow night.
	Let's have dinner.
	Sounds good.
	Yeah?
	I'll find a place.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Good.
	Well, we'll talk.
	Someplace cheap.
	Right?
	Top dog!
	Alright.
	And after I get rid of the body buzz, hopefully we'll be okay for our show on Sunday.
	A reminder, Freedom Fiends coming up right after we get off the air today on NoAgendaStream.com, NoAgendaChat.net.
	They will take over the airwaves the minute we sign off.
	And coming to you from the capital of the Drone Star State here in Texas, in Austin.
	In the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley where it actually has stopped raining.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll be back on Sunday right here on No Agenda.
	The best podcast in the universe.

▲