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Sept. 9, 2012 - No Agenda
02:42:00
442: Zombie Webinar
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Is the Stargate in the water?
Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
It's Sunday, September 9, 2012.
Time for your Gitmo Nation Media assassination episode 442.
This is no agenda.
Still a certified and proud denialist here in the capital of the drone star state, Austin Tejas.
In the morning, everybody.
I'm Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley, where Google has turned into a wine store, I'm John C. Dvorak.
Oh, do explain.
Oh, great one in the sky.
Google has turned into a wine store.
I got today's New York Times, which is about a 50-pound paper today.
And in the New York Times Magazine, there's kind of like a blow-in card of sorts.
I'm looking at Google.com.com.
And it doesn't look like a wine store to me.
Well, here it is.
The Zagat Wine Club.
Oh, they bought Zagat, didn't they?
Yes.
Now they're selling wine.
Yeah.
So what?
Well, that's Google.
Yeah.
So Google's a wine store.
Yeah.
And they're also going to make cars that drive themselves and all kinds of stuff we don't need.
All kinds of groovy things that no one cares about.
You know what's unfortunate, though, is that their search blows.
That would be kind of fun if they fixed that.
Maybe they should spend more time working on that.
Yeah.
Did you see Bing's latest challenge?
Bing?
Bing?
Bing it?
Bing?
Yeah.
I think they did something.
They're running commercials, and it's a working script.
We know this.
The Curry DeVore Consulting Group has used this many, many times.
It's the old Pepsi challenge.
So they went to San Francisco.
They're on the street.
And they literally say, hey, I'm here on the street in Google's backyard.
And we're going to do the search challenge.
And then they have people use blind taste test using Google and Bing.
And, of course, the majority of the people say, wow, this search is so good.
What is it?
Oh, it's Bing.
Yeah, I think it's pretty smart.
Someone is going to come in.
They don't think it's possible that someone is going to come in and is going to eat Google's lunch.
It can happen.
Google knows it can happen, but I haven't seen anyone come close, and I don't think this Bing challenge is going to do the trick.
I don't know.
I use Bing every once in a while, but when it comes down to it in the big picture, Google still beats it.
They should be sponsoring us.
Yeah, somebody should.
Every single time we hit that, it's like, basically, it's a Pavlovian call to use Bing.
That's a ding.
Hey, maybe we should make our search engine ding.
Ding.
Ding dong.
Or dung.
Dung.
Wow, that'd be a great domain name to have, wouldn't it?
Dung.
Dung.
Dung.com.
Ah, yes.
Well, in the morning to you, John C. Dvorak.
In the morning to you, Adam Curry.
In the morning to all ships and sea boots on the ground, subs in the water, and to all the knights out there and feet in the air, I might add.
And to all of our human resources in the chat room, all charged up, ready to go at noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net.
And, of course, to all of our artists out there and everybody who's listening.
Not a lot of donors today.
I always get a little demoted.
Demotivated.
When we start the show, you send the spreadsheet.
Well, at least we won't have to go three hours.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, that's right.
There you go.
Yeah, we can make it a much shorter show.
Yeah, you get what you pay for.
Yeah, this is true.
This is true.
A little disheartening.
Well...
Yeah, well, again, it's the end of the holiday week.
I mean, we'll see what happens next week.
Yeah, we'll see.
We'll see.
But we have people still listening to three shows that go.
It's...
Yeah, weird.
I always find it strange that people say, I'm catching up or I'm behind.
Like, if you miss something, just skip it.
Why would you?
I mean, I don't understand.
We're kind of a topical show.
Just skip it.
Who cares?
Just drop the show.
People don't want to do that.
It's like this.
This is not a...
It's like a cereal.
We're not like Breaking Bad, you know?
You miss the part where the principal was shot.
Yeah, like you don't understand what's going on.
I try to re-explain most of the memes if they're fairly new.
I always find that rather interesting that people do that.
They really, really stick to it.
So maybe we should at least thank the producers right at the top.
Yeah, because we do have...
Oh, we have an exec.
That's nice.
All right.
Well, we always have an executive.
If anybody contributes over $200, they would get the executive automatically.
But when somebody contributes over $330, we...
They automatically get executive and everybody else gets it.
It's the highest ranking.
It's written very carefully in the dvorak.org slash na page.
So no one can be confused by this.
Okay, got it.
So Barry Hanna, do we have no note from Barry?
Did he send us an email?
I don't think so.
That's weird.
There's no note at all?
Well, now I'm going to have to look.
H-A-N-N-A. This is the kind of stuff typically you'd expect to be part of your regular show prep, John?
Yeah, normally it is, but I was caught off guard here because I never expected a big blank at the beginning.
Like you didn't see that?
Come on, man.
What's wrong with you?
I had other things.
I was doing clips.
All right.
Without comment, Barry Hanna from Okotox, Alberta.
It's the place, by the way, that Alberta is the province that pays for all of Canada.
Which is why the Quebecois will never leave the place because they get all this free money.
And why is it that Alberta pays for all of Canada?
It's where all the energy is.
It's where all the oil, the oil shale, everything they've got is in Alberta.
And most of our oil comes from there.
So what do all the other people do up there?
They essentially leach off of Alberta.
Everybody knows this.
Now, how about the Paris of Canada?
That's what, Saskatoon?
Saskatoon.
So do they also leech off of Alberta?
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
So wait a minute.
Well, that sucks.
That doesn't sound right.
All the Canadians put up with it.
They enjoy it.
They don't care.
They get enough, you know, they get the scraps up in Alberta.
And Toronto gets the bill.
Scraps.
They get the scraps.
This is my analysis of Canada.
Maybe if more Canadians would contribute, we'd have a better analysis.
Although they won't disagree with this, by the way.
They'd be like, yes, hey, that's right.
We're just mooching off of Alberta.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Apparently, everyone's mooching off of Alberta and Ann Murray, according to the chat room.
That's a very old-fashioned joke.
Executive producer, sole executive producer for show 442.
We have two associates, Jesse Cruz in Highland Park, Illinois, for $225.
Nice.
Sorry I haven't been donating lately.
I was stocking up on ammo.
Yeah.
Yeah!
Right on.
Well, that's a valid excuse right there.
No problem.
This should complete my knighthood.
Uh-huh.
Oh!
Please de-douche me and give me a Huntsman Karma shot to all the Illinois producers out there.
We need it.
Yeah, awesome.
Hell yeah.
You've been de-douched.
You've got karma.
Awesome.
All right, Jesse, thanks.
Glad to know you're all stocked up.
Totally understand your absence from a donation.
That makes a lot of sense.
Jeroen Huntingha.
Jeroen Huntingha.
Huntingha.
Just don't make fun of it.
Just try to do it.
Huntingha.
Huntingha.
There's no N. You're putting an N where there is none.
Huntingha.
Huntingha.
I can't get the N in there.
There's an N in there.
But you're putting the N before the T. It's Huntingha.
Huntingha.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Okay.
You're right.
In Wenningen.
Wageningen.
Yeah, okay.
207.
Thank you, Jeroen.
I have to really thank you as the one and only show 437 Club member for giving me the title Swazelnuff.
I couldn't have asked for more.
To show my appreciation, I'll donate a triple Swazelnuff 207, which will bring me my knighthood, which I promised myself for my 9-11 birthday.
Please allow me to carry the name Knight Ironimus, which is my name in Greek.
Ironimus.
Is that how you pronounce it?
I don't know.
I have to run into my Greek pronunciation machine.
Ironimus.
Ironimus.
Let me make sure that's in the notes for the knighthood.
I don't want to do that wrong.
Let me see.
No.
So it's knight.
Of course we'll do that.
Ironimus.
I think it's ironimus.
Iron...
Ironimus.
Okay.
Now see, you're doing it.
Thanks.
Keep up the good work on your show.
So he's Ironimus Höttinger.
Höttinger.
Okay, well anyway.
From Wageningen.
A very long segment for the three producers.
I want to remind people.
Hopefully you'll have caught up on the show by now, or at least sometime this week, to help us out here at dvorak.org.
It's a...
Euronimus is what it is.
I'm getting prompting here.
Euronimus.
Of course, it's his name in Greek, which is Jeroen, or Euron, so Euronimus.
I got it.
I'm set.
Don't worry.
I'm doing that part of the show.
I'm square.
I'm cool.
No worries about it.
Okay?
Okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alright, just making sure you understand.
We have a little PR thingy.
One of our producers finally put something out there.
You know KQED? Yeah, KQED is our national treasure here in San Francisco.
Right, national treasure, exactly.
So one of our producers called in at an opportune moment because, you know, if you're our national treasure, which is NPR, then, of course, you have great guests on.
And, you know, these are very important guests.
And sometimes a guest is delayed or doesn't show up.
And then, you know, they'll make the obvious mistake of opening up phone lines, which is when one of our producers, Bad Ace, I think he does open carry radio from California.
He's in Northern California.
And so he took advantage of it, although the guest who didn't show up was kind of funny for our national treasure.
She was.
Willa Paskin with us by phone from New York, television critic with Salon.com.
Molly Ringwald, who was supposed to be with us, had her flight delayed, unfortunately.
Let me go to your call.
Molly Ringwald, a very important guest for NPR. Molly Ringwald.
Molly Ringwald.
Get her in there.
So let's go to the phones.
Paul's here, and we begin with Julian.
Good morning.
Good morning to you, Michael.
Okay, did you hear the in morning?
He got a little in the morning.
And then I'm going to fast-forward it here a little bit.
The entire documentary about plants.
They're talking about how he watches the BBC and doesn't watch American media anymore.
David Attenborough, I think.
Nice old gentleman.
Son of Richard Attenborough, who many of us old-timers remember.
I love his voice and just his stuff.
It's great.
So, yeah, I learned about the mechanism to get into the UK from a No Agenda podcast.
And I've been using it for years now.
Well, we thank you for that.
And Willa Paskin, I take it you like Donton Abbey.
We thank you for that, too.
It was a nice little mention.
I thought you did pretty good.
Got it in.
Or pretty well.
What is it?
Pretty good or pretty well?
Pretty well.
Pretty well.
I think you did pretty well.
You know what?
It's in.
We'll take it.
But there is so much opportunity to promote our show.
And, you know, I just don't see a lot of people taking advantage of that, which is saddening because it seems like you guys would be really, really good at it.
So we thank bad news for that.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, look what Howard Stern managed to do over the years when he had his minions go out and Just yell Baba Booey or whatever they did.
But these days, well, maybe the problem is that...
Because, of course, Howard Stern is...
He's no longer kind of main...
His show, he is, but his show is...
Because it's on Satellite, it's not what it used to be.
So when someone calls up and says Baba Booey, people are like, what?
Now people don't get it.
I wonder.
I wonder if it would work if people do it for No Agenda.
I don't know.
I don't want to say Baba Booey.
No, that would be wrong.
That's what we not want.
You know, did you realize...
That, uh...
Well, first of all, let me thank you.
Let me just thank everyone.
Of course, our associate executive producer, our two...
I mean, our executive producer, our two associate executive producers.
Thank you so much.
And, of course, our PR associate for today's episode.
We really can use a bit more help.
Second show in a row that we're a bit down.
Go to...
And, of course, you can always do something really important when it comes to PR and our formula.
Our formula is this.
We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
All right, all you swuzzle-nuffers out there.
So I was watching, um...
Some more C-SPAN, which we tend to watch a lot of.
And I got very, very confused.
Not only are they using that bogative social network...
What's the name of that social network again?
Tout?
Taint.
The Taint Network.
Not only are they using that, but Politico has shows on C-SPAN sponsored by America's Natural Gas.
I don't understand what's happening.
Isn't C-SPAN supposed to be a complete non-commercial just like turned cameras on?
Yes, paid for by the cable companies.
Comcast, Time Warner, I guess the Dish Network.
But why all of a sudden are they letting Politico, which is anything but...
Maybe somebody's cutting back their funding and they need the money.
I know that guy that runs it, Brian, whatever his name is.
He left.
The president left.
Yeah, he left.
He may have been the guy holding it together.
Holding the whole thing together.
He seemed like the guy holding it together.
Well, it's lame now.
Politico is anything but a...
It's not like they're a complete publication without an agenda.
Right?
Yeah, no, I agree.
I think it's dreadful that they would be given a show.
But not just given a show.
They've got advertisers.
And there shouldn't be advertising on the thing.
I haven't seen this, by the way.
Oh, all the election coverage.
It's all political.
They got whole shows.
They got discussion shows.
They got panels.
What?
What is going on here?
Well, that was, yeah, this was Thursday night after the president did his speech, his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention.
The big finish.
Yeah, not a real happy ending.
Meh.
Boy, that was a meh speech if I ever saw one.
What did you think?
It was pretty mediocre.
Yeah.
And then, of course, the job numbers come out, which, again, show we're losing jobs.
you gotta remind people no no no no no no no no no no no you are completely wrong I have the statement here from the White House.
Hold on.
You are so wrong.
White House on job numbers.
Hold on a second.
Here is the statement from the White House.
Today's employment report provides further evidence.
That the U.S. economy is continuing to recover from the worst downturn since the Great Depression.
And that is because...
I know, it's funny, right?
I would like to know why the media is not calling him out on this.
This is bogative.
So, well, the reason why they're saying that is because the real bogativeness is in the unemployment numbers ticking down from 8.3% to 8.1%.
Maybe you should just explain it again, John, because most people don't seem to understand or care that these are just lies.
Lies, lies, lies.
Well, let's start with the basics.
The first thing is to maintain...
A zero-sum game.
In other words, to go nowhere, to go absolutely nowhere, up or down, you have to have 150,000 new jobs a month.
Why is this?
Why do you need that?
Because the population is growing to the point of about a million people entering, a little over a million people entering the workforce every year.
Just because they become a certain age.
And actually it's a bigger number than that because there's a bunch of people dying too and leaving the job.
But this is what I need to understand.
I just want to understand because I'm just the dumb disc jockey here.
So every single year there's people being born, people getting older, entering the workforce.
There's also people dying.
And leaving the workforce.
And who maintains these numbers?
How do you know that it's a million people a year?
It's 150,000 a month is what it amounts to.
How do you know that?
The Bureau of Labor, our government, that's what they've told us.
Okay, well you don't have to get angry at me, I'm just asking.
I'm mad at you now.
Okay, no, it's not fair.
I didn't do anything.
I'm just asking your question.
So you have to have, that's the base, so that is essentially a zero line.
So anything below $150,000 means we're losing the workforce.
Anything above $150,000, we're actually adding people to the workforce, which is what you want.
Or you want even.
At least if it's even, it's okay.
This is not even.
And then the worst part about this, which was kind of left out of this discussion, is that Last month, which came in at $160,000, which just inched over a little bit, which you could actually brag about that, has been readjusted.
Yeah, it was adjusted down, wasn't it?
Yeah, down to $140,000-something.
So they lost numbers last month.
This is a downturn of these numbers.
So I don't even understand how that works.
So they come out with numbers, which by the way, the entire stock market, everything, you know, the whole financial system is based upon these numbers.
And then, you know, three weeks later they say, oh yeah, we have to adjust those down.
How does that even work?
How can those numbers are bogative?
Actually, Horowitz has discussed this on the DHM Plug Show, especially a couple of years ago, or a year or so ago, when it was rampant They were pulling this stunt off every single month.
They would readjust to last month's numbers.
First they give you these glowing numbers.
Oh, it's fantastic.
Things have improved.
And then the next month comes out and they say, oh, by the way, last month's numbers, not so good.
We made a mistake.
We didn't carry the one.
Who knows?
I don't even know how they do this so they can make such a big mistake.
Yeah, I mean, that's not a small mistake.
Percentage-wise, the difference between 165 and 140 is, what is that, 5%?
Oh, I don't know.
I can't do that in my head for some reason.
I didn't ask you to do it in your head.
I asked you to use the abacus like you always use.
The abacus is downstairs.
So anyway, whatever the case is, these are not good numbers.
Adding 90,000 is a bad number.
So anyway, so the baseline has to be 150.
But the media, they've talked about it, but they don't talk about it enough.
So they don't come out and say, well, they've announced 90,000, which is not good.
Now, why do people leave the workforce?
What does that mean when you just...
Or you retire?
No, no, but this...
Oh, no, that refers to the unemployment number, yes.
Yes, the active participation.
It's called actively looking for work.
No, no, no, it's called active participation.
Okay.
Yes.
Okay, same thing.
It sounds better.
But you have to be actively looking for work to be included in the unemployed number.
If you say, eh, I'm not, I don't care, I'm not even going, I can't, I'm done, I'm through, I'm just taking, I'm on vacation now.
When you do that, then the unemployment actually goes down.
But just because you quit.
You quit, you quit.
You quit trying.
Yeah.
So when you quit trying, what happens?
You just fall off the edge of the earth and you just live on the street?
What happens when someone quits trying?
Where do they go?
They live off their savings or move home with mom.
I mean, there's a million things you can do.
You can be homeless if you want.
You have a lot of opportunities in this country.
Unemployed have opportunities in this country like no others.
We can push shopping carts around and bag on the corners.
We can hold up cardboard signs that say, God bless.
It says brain injury.
That's my favorite.
Brain injury.
Veteran brain injury.
God bless.
We can move in with mom.
We can find a shelter, which is usually crowded with a bunch of psychos.
Nobody really wants to go to those.
Yeah, what else can we do?
Is it going to church?
I don't know.
It's a useful week in the country.
That's an idea.
So let me ask you another question.
Why is this always, they're always talking about, it's non-farm payroll.
I don't understand, but is that because the farm payroll?
It's manufacturing, yeah.
But why is it split off?
Because the farm payroll is all illegal.
It's calculated different.
People work on farms.
It could be the family.
It's a completely different calculation.
As far as I know, they've never been combined.
I'm just trying to understand why.
But it seems like they're excluded.
No, it's just different.
That number comes out, too.
We talked about this on the last show, I think.
So the Bureau of Labor Statistics, BLS... They say, so they show these 103 jobs last month, overall non-farm payroll employment rose by 96,000, which is supposed to be some big deal.
The economy, and this is how the White House spins it, the economy has now added private sector jobs for 30 straight months for a total of 4.6 million jobs during that period.
Yeah, that's essentially a mis...
You know, they always moan and groan about the misleading stuff that the Republicans do.
Borderline lying.
Borderline or it is lying?
Also, by the way, farm payroll is very seasonal.
I forgot to mention that.
You didn't forget Buzzkill Jr.
just came in and told you that.
I heard him in the background.
Yeah, but I forgot to mention it.
Your stunt brain came in.
My stunt brain.
Here he comes.
You wake up in the morning and then you're looking and my brain is in the jar and then Buzzkill Jr.
comes in.
No worry, Pops, I got you covered.
So the one thing that bothers me about all this, besides the bull crap, the public, if they're going to be that stupid about this, let them.
But here's the thing that's interesting.
People should look this up.
Go to shadowstats.com.
Okay.
And then they have the unemployment rate official U3, U6 versus SGS, which is the calculation that the shadow guy does.
He's a...
Statistician.
I think he's in San Francisco.
John Williams.
Very famous.
Very famous guy who does this.
And click on the chart and you see him on the homepage there.
Didn't he do the score for Star Wars?
Different.
It's his brother.
Click on the word.
It says down here, you see the SGS Alternative Employment Rate and click on that chart.
Yes, I'm clicking on the chart now.
To blow it up.
Oh, it shows we have 23% unemployment.
Yes.
But here's what bothers me.
And it's going up.
It is going up.
This is what bothers me.
The official government numbers, which on this chart are in red and gray, and nobody wants to talk about U6 anymore, which is more of a realistic...
No, no, hold on.
The official is the U3, which is the red, and then the gray is something called broadest U6. What is broadest?
What is it?
That is the old calculation we used to use.
Oh, before we...
I think Clinton is the one who maybe introduced us to try to get rid of...
You've got to get rid of that thing.
Where's the U2 number?
Because I like them much better as a band.
Anyway, so here's what bothers me.
I mean, I'm going to eventually, for people listening out there, I will eventually get to this point after Adam stops with the one-liners.
If you look at U3 and U6, notice that they're trending down.
If you look at the SGS alternative, notice that it's trending up.
Now, if you look back in history on these three little lines, they're not disparaging.
They're all pretty much on the same page, right?
Am I allowed to say anything?
Because I'm afraid now that...
Yeah, you can say something now, because it's not about U2, the band.
So, yes, they are completely in synchronous and harmony.
There's a little convergence here around 2009.
There is something...
Something different happened there.
I can't quite tell from the show.
Yeah, that was that.
And then right after that, Brown looking at around 2010.
No, no.
This is when the government started lying, I guess.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And it starts going down.
2010 is when it started.
I mean, it really starts to spread.
The government is lying, and now these charts don't...
Now this chart is really weird looking, because it's never...
I've never seen this.
I've always followed this, by the way.
I love this guy.
And the SGS unemployment rate, which is more realistic to me, 23% looks like what it is.
It's what it feels like, for sure.
For sure.
They're heading to 25.
Yeah.
And now we see the lies.
And you can see it.
It's so obvious at this point.
And every month it's getting worse.
I'm going to put this into the show notes because that's really good.
Hold on a second.
That's a great site.
That's a very good resource.
Although it's a frightening resource because it essentially means, good night, who's turning off the lights?
Don't let the door hit you in the ass.
Yeah, because it literally, actually, it looks more like, yeah, 20, yeah, I know it is about 23%, and rising.
Yeah.
Wow.
And it is rising.
If you knew what you were listening to when they tell you 90,000 new jobs, that means 40,000 jobs shortfall.
That means it's rising.
It's a six feet toad and rising.
We can make it out in a homemade boat.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what will continue to happen until our donations get back to normal.
I will continue to sing.
Well, so, okay, so about these, so this is very interesting.
So I was watching the...
There was one speaker who I saw at the Democratic National Convention.
And I have to stop and help people understand the mind control and the programming that is going on in the...
The people at this convention, obviously, you know, they're zombies.
They're already on board with the program.
Do you think?
Well, for any of these...
Oh, yeah, they're all the same.
Well, there are some dissenters.
Of course, we know at the RNC there were a lot of Ron Paul people and people who really were just told to shut up and leave or actually weren't even let in.
But there's the former governor of Michigan, Jennifer Granholm.
Now, have you ever heard of this woman before?
Yeah, I think a couple years ago we may have even talked about her.
So Jennifer Granholm, I looked her up on the Wikipedias.
She actually is from California.
Well, she was born in Canada.
But she grew up in California.
And it's so obvious, you know, when I say politics is show business for ugly people, and she's not even ugly.
She's too short and her head's not big enough.
But she tried to become an actress.
And failed at that, and then, of course, went the easy route and got into politics, because that's kind of what you do.
And for all the, you know, this whole, you didn't build that thing, which, you know, this is a big argument right now amongst American people.
It's like, if you built a business...
Did you or did you not build that by yourself?
Do you have to thank everybody else for walking on the road because, you know, that road was not paid for just by you, it was paid for by everybody else?
Right.
Well, we're all one big happy family and it sounds like Soviet Russia.
Well, it's a fundamental viewpoint, and again, I know a lot of people who have bought into this and say, yeah, and by the way, people who have been very successful, who have money, and whether they are, they may be lying to me, but I know some very, very wealthy people.
I think most of the ultra-rich are Democrats.
Yes, absolutely.
In particular, here in Austin, of course, Austin is not exactly the red Texas you'd think of.
In fact, quite the opposite.
There are some very wealthy people, venture capital even, who literally will say, I cannot sit next to a Republican.
A Republican is not allowed in my house.
I will never have dinner with them.
And I Yeah, I know, and they're always blaming the Republicans for being, you know, exclusive, but it's usually these Democrats.
Take a look at the big venture capital company, the most famous, Kleiner Perkins.
They have Al Gore working with them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everyone's a Democrat.
And they're all Democrats.
I know all these guys, except for one.
With a couple of exceptions, they're all Democrats.
Ray Lane is the only one who's not, except for one.
Okay, but I'm getting beyond the point.
And they will all say, oh, I'm happy to pay more taxes.
They'll say this, and either they mean it, I don't know if they're lying or whatever.
They get so much money they don't care.
Yeah, that's true.
And they also, without exception, say...
You know, we didn't.
We really have society to thank for that and everybody chipping in and paying their fair share.
And, you know, yes, you know, okay, so it's important.
This is the Elizabeth Warren thing.
She really started this.
You, if you're successful, John, you and I, if we said, hey, we built this show together, they would say to us, no, you did not, because without the government building the Internet, You never would have been successful.
You would not have a show.
So that's the fundamental.
Although we could have a show on radio, which is actually possible.
No, no, no.
Sorry, no.
Because the government allowed you to have the frequency.
However, when it comes to the jobs that were created, this was not, and this is, I'm going to play this clip for you.
This is not, according to the general consensus among Democrats, not something that was a collective.
No, no, it was one man who did that.
Can you guess who that man was?
I would say it wasn't Joe Biden.
No.
And this is what I find so interesting.
And I don't understand why the Republicans don't jump on this and say, hold on a second.
You can't on the one hand say, you didn't build it.
And on the other hand say, Barack Obama waved his magic wand and saved or created all these jobs.
Because if I'm not mistaken, John, the bailout was also our money, wasn't it?
Yeah, no, I don't understand.
I can't understand any of the Republican messaging.
I don't understand, even though they've hinted about it, the American dream concept that we harp on, we're just getting by now as defined as the American dream by Obama himself.
Why they don't jump on any of this is beyond me.
It's not beyond me.
It's because they're all idiots.
That's all the same people and they don't give a crap.
They're just fooling you into thinking there's wrestler number one, wrestler number two.
But I want you to listen to this Jennifer Granholm, who she went into an orgasmic ecstasy of shouting and yelling about one man.
And I was just like, my mouth was open.
Please watch the video.
The whole video is six or seven minutes.
She is actually pumping her fist and jumping up and down, and people are crying.
It's just, whoa!
The entire auto industry and the lives of over one million hardworking Americans teetered on the edge of collapse, and with it, the entire manufacturing sector of this country, and we looked everywhere for help.
Almost nobody had the guts to help us.
Not the banks, not the private investors, and not Bain Capital.
But, in 2009, the cavalry arrived, and our new president, Barack Obama, came in!
I mean, wow!
Really?
The cavalry arrived?
You want to hear more, don't you?
Tell me you want to hear more of this lady.
Well, you might as well.
I'm not going to say no to that.
He organized a rescue!
He made the tough calls!
He did it!
And he saved the American auto industry!
He saved it!
He saved it with your money!
This is the...
Wow!
Wow!
You know, you know, Mitt Romney, he saw the same crisis.
Actually, she has a pretty funny line here.
I have to say, great writing.
You want to hear a great line?
Yeah, okay.
Just let it play, because I think it's, you know, I'm sure the line will show up on its own.
And you know what he said?
Let Detroit go bankrupt.
Now, sure, sure, Mitt Romney loves our lakes and our trees.
He loves our cars so much they even have their own elevator.
So that's the setup.
That's just the setup line.
But the people who design and build and sell those cars, well, in Romney's world, the cars get the elevator and the workers get the shaft.
Come on, man.
That's a good line.
That's an old joke.
I've never heard that one.
I liked it.
I thought it was good.
I thought it was good.
You and the turnip truck.
No, me and all the idiots there, clearly.
Hold on.
I want to make something at least slightly clear, which seems to be overlooked in all this.
And Republicans, again, with their crappy message, and can't seem to get this across, is that if General Motors went bankrupt, it wasn't going out of business.
Bankruptcy is a process.
A process to stay in business legitimately.
They would stay in business, but they would be going through a process.
And the process that would apparently involve, which is what nobody really wants to talk about, probably being a little more competitive on the union side of things.
So you can compete with those car manufacturing facilities in South Carolina put up by Honda and BMW and places in that area where they have different labor laws.
The industry would not have gone out of business.
It would have just reorganized.
I mean, United Airlines, or let's say Continental, they went bankrupt.
I guess they'll take a Continental flight.
American Airlines is in bankruptcy right now.
They're in bankruptcy now.
I can go take a flight.
So this is misleading, of course.
Yeah.
And Romney, you know, I believe is, I don't know, maybe he's retarded.
I can't really put my finger on what's wrong with the guy, but he can't explain any of this.
And so they're just blasting him from every angle.
And when you're done with your little exhibition, I want to play the woman who's the head of Planned Parenthood and how she...
I think they have a kind of a nice leveraged angle on the whole scene that I honestly cannot believe in.
I'll put it in the bread book.
I don't see how it's possible, unless the economy collapses in October, which can happen, how it's even remotely possible for Romney to beat this guy.
Can I play her?
I'm ready.
Can we play her now?
Planned Parenthood lady?
I got three of her.
Now, this is the woman who you actually, I think you called me in the middle of the night and said, Adam, you've got to Google her.
She's so smoking hot.
You did.
You did.
Oh, you lie.
In the middle of the night.
That's the last time I ever called you, Terry.
So, she starts off, though, she's on the prompter, and she's obviously nervous, because...
What's her name?
We need to set it up.
Who is she?
What's her name?
Okay, come on.
What is her name?
She's the daughter of the governor of...
Ann Richards.
She's the daughter of Ann Richards.
She's...
Cecily?
Cecily Richards.
And she's a cute blonde who likes...
She looks a lot like the singer from...
No, she does not look like Annie Lennox of the year.
Yeah, she looks just like Annie Lennox.
She looks more like...
Same haircut.
And she's always, when she speaks, she's winking and she's smiling at the camera.
She's really good at working the camera.
She does not look like Annie Lennox.
She looks like...
When you see her on the TV, if you saw these clips instead of whatever you were doing with your time, if you'd seen these, you would have said that!
Annie Lennox is up there talking, and you go, oh, no, it's not.
It's just, what's her name?
She looks like Annie Lennox 20 years ago, maybe.
Yeah.
Okay.
So anyway, so...
She goes up there, and this is so scripted.
She had a couple of one-lines, but this is so scripted.
Here she is.
Now, you listen to this clip.
It's called the Planned Parent What clip.
She is going to say the name of her organization twice and blow it twice.
And she is the president of this organization.
And she's the president.
Good evening!
Good evening.
On behalf of the millions of mothers, daughters, wives, sisters and friends, Republicans and Democrats who've counted on Planned Parenthood for health care, and in honor of the thousands of doctors and staff at Planned Parenthood health centers all across America.
She's saying Planned Parenthood.
How come she can't say it?
Because I think somebody shortened it on the prompter.
Oh, yeah, that's very possible.
Thinking, oh, she's not going to make that mistake.
We'll just put plan P. I don't know what it was.
It was like, what?
Because later in her speech, she actually said plan to parenthood.
It probably, it was P-L-N-D-P-A-R-E-N-T-D. It's possible.
Parented.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it's possible that somebody was writing, I've seen it done, where somebody writes shorthand on the prompter.
It happens all the time.
I guarantee you, this is absolutely what happened.
It said Planned Parenthed, with P-A-R-E-N-T-D, and this woman has probably not even ever been in the office of Planned Parenthed.
She is a Borg.
I don't even think she's real, as in she's a CEO. I'm sorry.
Yeah, no, she looks like a Borg.
But anyway, so she blows these lines.
I mean, it reminds me of the time I saw somebody reading from a prompter, and it had the pronunciation.
and they would say something like pronounce it this way on there.
Yeah, oh yeah.
In brackets.
Oh yeah, they got it phonetically.
Sure, sure.
Yeah, or they'll actually say pronounce this way.
Oh.
I've seen that happen.
You know who used to do that?
Kennedy.
Remember Kennedy on MTV? Oh, Kennedy?
That woman?
Yeah, that woman, Kennedy.
Yes, on MTV. I did not get along with her.
I'll be up front.
She was such a bonehead that she would read those kinds.
She'd be like, oh, I'm sorry, I just read the instruction on the prompter instead of, oh, okay.
She would read the actual pronunciation instructions in teleprompter.
Yeah, well...
Yeah.
You've got to be careful when you're reading from a prompt because if you get into a zone where you're just robotically reading and not really thinking about it, you will do that.
And I think that's what happened to her here.
And just as a side note before we get back to her, I have an article in the show notes about Bill Clinton's speech.
Bill Clinton is one of those people, and I can do quite a bit of it, but he is really the master where he'll take a 20-minute speech that is scripted in the teleprompter and he will weave in and out of the teleprompter, embellishing and adding entire words.
And this only works, by the way, if you have a teleprompter operator who you've worked with and who knows what you're doing.
Right.
And the number one guy on set in television, the guy who I would always take to lunch, Two guys.
I'd always take the audio guy, but I always would take the teleprompter guy or gal to lunch because they are the ones that will save your ass in this type of situation.
And if you really know how to work with them, you can be a genius.
Bill Clinton, he doubled his time.
Yeah, no, he'll always go over because he does shaggy dog style talks.
He's got the prompter up there and he uses it both as a prompter and as notes.
Right, right.
So he'll go off script and go wandering around and you better be, you have to know the script and you have to be able to get to it with the prompter.
You have to be able to roll up, roll back and if you, if the Republicans want to win, all they have to do is take out Obama's prompter guy.
They take that, if they take him out, Like, disappear him?
I think the president's lost.
It's probably true.
It's a sick idea.
I'm serious as I can be.
I remember one time I was doing tech TV and I was reading off the prompter and then the thing stops dead.
Right.
And so I'm yakking away and I'm looking where the prompter goes.
I can just barely see him in the back.
Fell asleep.
I haven't had that happen.
He fell asleep.
He really, he was asleep.
He was dead out.
But our president, when the teleprompter fails, he'll be like, hey, can you roll it back up?
Can you do this?
Can you do that?
I will charge PCAST with advising me about national strategies to nurture and sustain a culture of scientific innovation.
In addition to John...
Sorry, I just noticed that I jumped the gun here.
Go ahead and move it up.
Oh, that's the worst when you have to say go ahead and move it up.
I've already introduced all you guys.
In biomedicine.
That's when you're...
I mean, at least just go to your notes, man.
You amateur.
Yeah, amateur.
That's it.
Amateur.
Amateur.
Yeah, actually, what happened...
One time, I learned the lesson the hard way when the prompter just died.
Because real smart newsreaders, they always usually have the entire script in front of them on blue paper.
Yeah.
And they are, if you notice them, they'll be talking to you on the camera, and then they'll be flipping the sheets.
But they're never looking at the sheets.
Some of them try to make it look like they look at the sheet and then memorize it and then read off the prompter.
I've seen that technique.
But generally speaking, they're just flipping sheets.
Yeah, because there's nothing on them.
Right, and they flip them.
They know when to flip them, they flip them.
And if the prompter drops dead, they go right to the sheets.
They're right on the cue, right, perfect.
Mm-hmm.
And, you know, that's what Obama should learn to do.
Now move on with your...
Okay, PP woman slamming around.
Now she starts to do some material now.
But her messaging, which is that, you know, the government should be sponsoring Planned Parenthood and that everything is an attack against women.
She does this so well that I think it's extremely effective.
So let's play the part where she's slamming Romney.
Paul Ryan and John Boehner and Todd Akin and the Tea Party took over the House of Representatives.
They promised us they were going to create jobs and jumpstart the economy.
But instead, on day one, they came after women's health and they haven't let up since.
Right?
So first, they voted to end cancer screenings and well women visits for 5 million women.
They voted to end funding for birth control at Planned Parenthood.
And for good measure, they even tried to redefine rape.
And now Mitt Romney is campaigning to get rid of Planned Parenthood and overturn Roe versus Wade.
And we won't let him.
All right.
So this is like bull crap, too.
I mean, it's not like he's trying to get rid of Planned Parenthood.
He's trying to get government funding reduced.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah, that's true.
But that's okay.
It's twisted beautifully, and I think it really works.
And I think when she finishes here, which is the next clip, which is a big, I said it's fig finish, but she means big finish.
Oh, I was thinking.
I think she just really drives the point home.
I think it's a very sympathetic argument, even though it's skewed, obviously.
But I think it works, and I think that the Republicans are just being portrayed as heartless bastards who hate women.
And I think it's being very well done.
We've come so far.
So why are we having to fight in 2012 against politicians who want to end access to birth control?
It's like we woke up on a bad episode of Mad Men.
Because when Mitt Romney says he'll get rid of Planned Parenthood and turn the clock back on a century of progress, it has real consequences for the three million patients who depend on Planned Parenthood each year.
Women like Libby Bruce, who you just heard from.
Or women like Brandi McKay, a 27-year-old woman whose stage 2 breast cancer was caught at a Planned Parenthood health center.
And thank God she's now cancer-free.
Or the woman who went on Facebook after Paul Ryan voted to defund Planned Parenthood and posted, well, I guess they don't understand that us military well, I guess they don't understand that us military wives go to Planned Parenthood when the doctor on base can't see us.
Thank you.
So, Mr.
Romney and Mr.
Ryan are campaigning for women's votes by saying that women need their help.
Okay, this is coming from two men who are committed to ending insurance coverage for birth control, who would turn women's health care decisions over to our bosses, and who won't even stand up for equal pay for women.
Okay, as my grandmother back in Texas would have said, any more help from Mitt Romney, and I'm going to have to take in ironing.
As a Texan, I kind of resent that.
So she...
I think really pounds these points home.
I think it works.
And to take an ironing gag, I thought was great.
They got no counter to this sort of thing on the other side.
They even got a prayer.
And the whole thing is, it's all the same.
It gives a crowd.
Yeah, well, it is all the same, but it's still...
Well, I mean, we can just stop talking about politics altogether.
We will have...
No, no, no.
Just to stop talking about American politics.
It doesn't matter.
In fact, I can stop because I have to set something straight.
I played the vote from the Democratic Convention, where clearly, if not equal, the nays probably had it over the yeas, and they ramrodded that thing through.
So the same thing happened at the Republican Convention.
I wanted to play this, but I need to caveat it, because a lot of people, and this comes back to our prompter discussion, a lot of people saw this clip, and they said, It was already scripted on the prompter for him to say the yeas have it.
And I'm going to just disagree because that is not the way the prompter read because I saw the prompter video.
You know what I'm talking about here, John?
Yeah, and I saw the prompter video and that's what it did say.
No.
If you saw the whole prompter video, not just whatever you saw, but if you see the whole video as it was put up on YouTube, it says, we're going to take the votes, and then it says, if yay, go to scenario one, in the prompter, like in a...
Yeah, and then it says scenario two.
Exactly.
I saw that.
So the way this works is...
So they had like two prompters.
Well, he would scroll up or scroll past scenario one to scenario two if it was a neighbor.
So it's not true that it was already pre-scripted.
I'm just debunking that.
Okay, I can accept the possibility.
In other words, if they scroll further, it would have said the same thing, only yay.
Yes, exactly.
However, it is not obvious that the yeas had it, and that's just the 20 seconds I wanted to play.
The resolution is on the adoption of the resolution.
All those in favor signify by saying aye.
All those opposed, no.
Any other chair, the ayes have it.
The resolution is adopted.
Without objection, the motion to reconsider is laid on the table.
That, I think, is funnier.
How about this then?
How about this for a third theory?
It did have the two, it had this fork on the prompter.
And the guy never, the guy reading was so amateurish that he didn't give the guy the chance to move it forward.
So he just read right through the first fork and said yay.
No, I think that whatever this motion was, but these people, you have to understand.
To get rid of Ron Paul.
Yeah, and yeah, that was exactly what it was for.
And what needs to happen, what should happen...
Wait, wait, I got a fourth theory.
Oh God, please.
It said that little thing about the fork on there just to fool people like you or use it as a counter-argument.
I'm so silly.
They've got me again.
There was no fork.
They got me again, John.
Yes, exactly.
That's what it was.
Yeah, no.
The only thing I can say is, if you are awakened and listening to this podcast, and if you are a member of either of these parties, you need to burn down your party headquarters.
Tell them I said so.
Because you are being tricked and fooled into believing that you matter.
You stupid piece of cannon fodder!
You mean nothing to them!
Isn't that obvious from the clips we played here?
The revolt needs to take place inside these parties.
I like the way that people lap it up.
And I wouldn't have a Republican in my house.
And I've actually heard from really smart, successful people who say this.
I will not have a Republican over for dinner.
And I'm like, oh man, I better shut up.
I can't say anything now.
Well, it's like, you know, the same thing with I Can't Under...
Why would anybody listen to Rush Limbaugh?
Yeah, why would anybody read Sarah Palin's book?
We need to burn books.
This is a much better thing.
I can't do any of that.
Do the same thing with the Republicans.
Have you ever read...
Karl Marx and Lenin have some great writings, by the way.
They're no slouches.
Has anybody ever read any of this stuff?
Oh, those damn commies.
They've never even read the material.
If you don't know what the other side's saying specifically, you can't just say, I'm not going to read that.
I'm not going to listen to him.
No, that's wrong.
But that's how it goes.
You really have to check in somewhere if that is your attitude.
I'm not having a Republican over to the House.
What do you think he's going to do?
Rape your wife?
I mean, why specifically?
Well, it's like my Uncle Don, man.
It's like, you know, he's like, these idiots, if they run, it's like, it's mind controlled.
Yeah, here's, so, okay, it's all a part of the mind control.
And this actually brings me to this new study, which is now being, lament, it's being rolled out everywhere.
In fact, we need to play the...
Don't be a denier!
The science is in!
Science!
Because you're actually involved with this.
This is going to affect you as well because you will see this.
This is a professional study.
It's from Australia, the University of Western Australia.
It's heavily funded.
It's being rolled out everywhere as fact.
And it is the Motivated Rejection of Science Study.
Oh yeah, this is a big one.
This is really a big one.
Now you, we're almost upon the anniversary of September 11th.
You, I would have to say, question at least one part of September 11th.
Why did World Trade Center 7 fall like a rock for no apparent reason?
Exactly the same way the other ones fell, by the way.
So I knew you would say that.
However, because you...
Now, let me ask you one more question.
Do you believe in man-made global warming?
I'm a skeptic.
Ooh, skeptic.
Even though, as this science is in, and everybody believes, because actually that's the giveaway.
Everybody doesn't believe, but the one side is saying everyone does believe, and that's very suspicious.
So because of this, because of this, You might as well just join my camp and say you believe that NASA faked the moon landing.
Because this is what the study is saying.
I'm not kidding.
This study is saying there is a direct correlation people who believe the moon landing was faked Are also climate change deniers and, oh man, HIV does not cause AIDS. The CIA killed Martin Luther King.
9-11 was an inside job.
All of this...
What about the Stargate in the Gulf of Eden?
Is that in there?
No, no, no.
That's moved to Seattle, by the way, but that's coming up later.
So, just from this study, and you've got to read the PDF in the show notes, 442.nashownotes.com.
Just a couple highlights, and it's 33 pages.
Now, what's the title again?
The title is Motivated Rejection of Science.
A subtitle, NASA faked the moon landing, therefore climate science and all science is a hoax.
An anatomy of the motivated rejection of science.
Did you remember, what was the thing, it was about a year ago on our show, we were talking about the connect, they were trying to make a connection between, oh, yeah, Yeah, if you didn't believe in global warming as a man-made phenomenon caused by CO2, you didn't believe in the Holocaust.
Wasn't that the connection?
Yes, but the Holocaust is not in here.
They've gone all the way.
Yeah, they're fine-tuning this thing is what they're doing.
Yes, exactly.
In fact, I'm just going to do a quick search on Holocaust because I didn't see it.
It's 33 pages.
No, no, no.
There is no...
So they fine-tuned this pitch, and they pulled the Holocaust because people were really upset about that.
Yeah, and I don't think...
Also, Republican, I don't think that is...
Let me just check.
Republican.
No, that's also not in here.
Okay, so let me just read from...
And it's 33 pages, no coincidence, of course.
Abstract.
Although nearly all domain experts agree, That human CO2 emissions are altering the world's climate.
Segments of the public remain unconvinced by the scientific evidence.
Internet blogs have become a vocal platform for climate denial, and bloggers have taken a prominent and influential role in questioning climate science.
And then as they go on a little bit about the survey, it gets better.
Endorsements of the free market See, if you endorse the free market, you are a climate denier now.
Also, predicted the rejection of other established scientific findings, such as the facts that HIV causes AIDS and that smoking causes lung cancer.
We additionally show that endorsement of a cluster of conspiracy theories, e.g.
that the CIA killed Martin Luther King or that NASA faked the moon landing, predicts rejection of climate science as well as the rejection of other scientific findings above and beyond endorsements of laissez-faire free markets.
So what is happening here?
I mean, you might as well just go get me a yellow star and put it on my jacket, because this is what is happening.
If you reject any type of science, if you question it, which of course is what science is all about, Then you are going to be lumped in with all of these theories and labeled a complete lunatic.
And I predict in DSM-6, we have DSM-5 coming up.
I think in DSM-6, you will be medicated forcefully because of that.
No, no, I'm not.
You're laughing.
Yeah, I am, but it might be something sick, but possible.
Luckily, they have to medicate too many people.
Well, but this is why they just put it in the water.
So this just goes on.
Heyo!
Yeah, I'm not kidding.
Another variable that has been associated with the rejection of science is conspiratorial thinking or conspiracist ideation, defined here as the attempt to explain a significant political or social event as a secret plot by powerful individuals or organizations.
And they have sources for all of this.
I mean, this is a very, very well written report.
And study.
It's very well done.
And by the way, as George Carlin once said, it is, of course, crazy to think that some of the richest people on the earth would get together and have a meeting about how to screw everybody else.
I mean, that, of course, is completely out of the realm of possibility.
That would never happen.
Right, John?
Never.
Science is in.
The prominence of conspiracist ideation in science denial.
Now it's science denial.
And just, you have to remember what happened to me with my moon thing on Twit.
It is a part of it.
It is very important because this is something that is changing in our society.
That people think you're a science denier.
It is not entirely surprising.
You know, not to interrupt, but what's interesting to me is that the same people who are subscribing to this, whatever these notions are, in whole, in toto, are practicing what they're always bitching about, which is stereotyping.
Yes.
They constantly complain about it.
Oh, you're just stereotyping.
You can't say that.
But meanwhile, that's all they do.
Excuse me, why did you have a gay accent spin on that?
It wasn't gay.
It was just a good person.
There's a Berkeley guy.
Okay.
Yeah, stereotyping.
The prominence of conspiracist ideation.
Now, these terms by themselves are fantastic.
In science denial is not entirely surprising, because if an overwhelming scientific consensus cannot be accepted as the result of researchers independently converging on the same evidence-based view, then its very existence calls for an alternative explanation, a function readily fulfilled by the ideation of a complex and secretive conspiracy amongst researchers.
So the way I read that is...
You mean a conspiracy amongst researchers like those letters?
Climategate?
Yeah, exactly.
You mean like that?
Yeah.
That, of course, is...
How can anyone believe in such a thing?
Yeah, but that has already been changed in the media and debunked as the letters were had.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
It was hacked and it wasn't true and the letters were changed.
This report is, it is the setup to putting people like me and potentially like you, John.
Although, you know, I think for some reason, you know, you'll slip through the cracks.
I can go with the flow.
You'll flip it.
You know, I thought about it, and I don't understand what's wrong with that, Adam.
You're going to flip on me.
You're a total Judas, NSB. It's like, I don't know, I've tried.
As you're slipping on your armband, you'll be like, yeah, that Curry guy, you know, he's no good.
But it is, this is the, and thank you for pointing it out, this is stereotyping, and it is a part of why people, you know, if I have an alternative view, and if I'm running around, if I'm running around like a nutball, you know, that's one thing.
But if I just say, you know, I have a different view on something, and people go crazy, as we have seen happen, you know, and you pegged it, this is what happens in a totalitarian fascist state, and there's something else that's happening.
This is a very disturbing trend.
When the kids were young, John, did you fly with them?
Yeah?
Okay.
And did people, when they would sit down on the airplane, and you had your kids, and they were, you know, young, and so they might have some problems with the air pressure, and they might cry.
But did people, upon boarding the plane, sit down and go, oh, kids, oh, crap, this flight's gonna suck!
this is what's happening.
Have you noticed this very disturbing trend where you're on the plane and people see other people with children and they already make a comment and they've got a frowny face and like, Oh God, it's probably going to puke on me.
It's kidding.
Have you noticed this disturbing trend?
I actually have not noticed it to the, apparently the extent that you have.
I sense once in a while you will see people who are adverse to being around children, usually old maids types of people, to use an old phrase.
It is already outlawed on almost every single airline that I know of.
Children under, I think, the age of seven are not allowed in first class.
This didn't happen when my daughter was...
I mean, we flew first class with her when she was young.
This is now...
It's outlawed.
I don't know this.
Oh, yeah.
No kids in first class.
They pay for a first class ticket?
You cannot buy a first class ticket, as far as I know, on any airline anymore in America if you're under...
I think it's six or seven.
Huh.
Well, I haven't heard this.
Yeah.
I have to look this up.
Oh, yeah.
I question this.
No.
Well, I know a lot of people who have young kids, and this conversation came up the other day, and I've been doing some informal research, informal Q&A, and this is a disturbing trend where people feel for some reason that having kids on the plane is like, oh, God, can't you take the bus?
You need to take the train, whatever it is.
And they are upset by people having their children on the plane.
Well, I'd love to hear from any of our producers.
This is just what I have found in an informal survey.
But I think it's related.
I think somehow there's something going on and it is absolutely related.
And there's disturbing stuff happening.
And by the way, I want to, you know, we mentioned the stereotype thing.
I want to say to people out there, if you get into an argument with somebody and they start throwing stuff back at you, and they're coming in from a liberal perspective, throw it back at them, saying, you're stereotyping.
And when you, because they, that is like, it's like throwing water on the wicked witch.
They just can't deal with it, because they can't stereotype, because it's like confusing the computer in an old Star Trek film.
Or no Star Trek episode where you confuse the computer with logic.
Just say you're stereotyping and it'll blow their minds.
Yeah, it's like inserting a virus.
Yeah, you're stereotyping.
But of course, stereotyping is only black.
See, that's stereotyping in their mind.
They don't understand.
Believe me, there's a lot of stereotyping.
They'll call you out on stereotyping, especially any ethnic stuff.
So, while we're on the topic, though, I would like to...
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yes?
Well, if you're still on climate change...
No, well, I'm...
Climategate thing.
Well, let me just...
I've got to move off into my denialism, and then we can come back to it.
Okay, well, then we'll go back.
Okay.
So I have not been able to find the actual audio from NASA, and I've been all over the site, and maybe someone can find it for me, but the quote has been published widely across the internet.
So what happened this past week is on the International Space Station, we had a big PR moment.
Oh yes, how hilarious, because the astronauts were able to...
Fixed $100 billion space station with a toothbrush.
Ha ha ha!
There, MacGyver!
But did you hear the quote that came back that one of the astronauts said?
No, you probably didn't.
Here is the only news report I could find.
I just didn't want to only read it.
But you can find the quote everywhere online.
Listen to what the astronauts said after fixing the space station with a toothbrush.
A little ingenuity and a toothbrush.
Two astronauts have been using a rather low-tech solution to try to restore full power to the International Space Station.
It's armed with homemade tools, including a toothbrush and pipe cleaner.
The astronaut unsuccessfully tried to make the repair during a spacewalk last week, but the stuck space station bolt prevented the astronauts from installing the power unit.
With no hardware store for hundreds of miles and no supply ships due for months, the team had to improvise, creating these tools to clean out debris from the bolt socket.
As Central Florida's News 13 explains, the space station can't operate at full power without the power switcher.
It will help route power from the solar arrays to different parts of the station.
Without this new unit, the station can't relay power from two of the eight solar arrays.
After the walk concluded, Mission Control said it's been like living on the set of Apollo 13 for the past few days.
Okay, so the quote was, it's been like living on the set.
No wonder they pulled it.
On the set.
But listen, she doesn't even catch it.
She's such an idiot.
She continues.
Referring to the 1970 effort to save the three astronauts during the failed moon mission.
No, no, referring to the movie.
But she's so mind-controlled that she's like, oh, she's right on board with it.
So they actually said...
It was like being on the set of Apollo 13.
This set, I mean, we're glad we kept some of the pieces from that set for this set.
And they have electric toothbrushes, I might add, according to all the reports.
So not only did they have an analog toothbrush laying around just randomly on this highly controlled $100 billion space station, but a pipe cleaner.
Are you going to tell me some dude up there is smoking a pipe and he has a pipe cleaner?
Come on.
Now that you mention it, a pipe cleaner, would it be part of some kit or some tubes they need to clean with a pipe cleaner?
That's interesting.
And they were very specific.
It's an interesting gap.
I think the observation is valid.
Why would there be a pipe cleaner is specifically that little bitty thing with some metal thing with a little...
It's like a test tube brush, only it's really small for pipes.
Yeah.
Specifically for pipes.
It's a pipe cleaner.
Yeah, you clean the pipe so you can get some air to come through it after it builds up all the goo.
And they use electric toothbrushes.
Why do they all just...
It's just a random extra toothbrush.
Like one of the astronauts left his toothbrush.
What, did he leave his underpants behind, too, on the sleepover?
Come on.
And then, just to top it off...
NASA does impossible pretty darn well.
ABC reports the astronauts were greeted with champagne when they got back inside the space station.
No alcohol, of course, because alcohol is not allowed.
And they have alcohol-free champagne on board?
That's what she said, essentially.
Come on.
What kind of a report is this?
This is terrible.
No alcohol, but champagne's flowing.
But the pipe cleaner...
Here's another question.
They could say the thing about the champagne, but what is the point of the disclaimer about the alcohol in the report at all?
Yeah, well, of course.
Because...
Well, from my perspective, because it just makes you more...
Confused.
More confused than an idiot about what happened.
These guys are on the set.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
So you can believe whatever you want.
It's the oldest, crappiest set in the world.
If I hadn't seen it fly over, I'd have a hard time believing it.
But the set of Apollo 13.
So thank you very much, NASA, for that wonderful quote.
Someone needs to be shot.
And of course, you can't find the video or the quote on the nasa.gov website anywhere.
Which also I might point out, you have to do www.nasa.gov.
Really?
They don't have a setup in a modern way?
No, go ahead and type in nasa.gov and you will get, oops, go ahead, try it.
These are the guys that brought you, so they can put a car with a camera on Mars, but they can't configure nasa.gov without the www.
That's your science right there, baby.
Mine should be on it.
Yeah.
Am I right or what?
No, it doesn't.
It works.
Yeah.
No, mine does not work.
No, it works with the NASA.gov, but it throws a www.
My browser throws a www.
Firefox puts it in.
After a while, it times out.
But NASA.gov, by itself, does not work as a website.
They made a mess out of this website.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, because they're so great.
Well, they need to get that guy who does the $18 million websites, apparently.
You wanted to say something about ClimateGate while we're...
Yeah, you might as well play the ClimateGate jingle.
Oh, I'd love to do that.
Hold on a second.
Here we go.
To the gate, to the gate, to the climate gate.
So, you know, the BBC is on board with the whole thing, the extreme.
So they had to bring this report out about...
But the thing is, I think we've seen this report before about the shrinking ice shelf in the summer as it melts off around...
Oh, wait a minute.
Arctic ice is now melting so fast...
That if you flew up there, it would be gone by the time you got there.
Yeah, that kind of thing.
So there's one little anomalous comment in here, but this is a pro-climate change.
Who doesn't say this show's not balanced?
pro-climate change report from the BBC, which brings in all the memes and it does everything.
And this is just like this.
It was like Friday.
And I think it pretty much summarizes things.
And then there's just one little gotcha in there that they can't seem to get around.
And they mention it and they kind of blow by it and then say, oh, we're all going to die.
But anyway, play this.
This is how much ice on average is left at the end of the summer melt.
Compare that to what's left right now and the melt is still underway.
This windswept landscape has warmed up in the past for natural reasons, but scientists are convinced man-made pollution is accelerating the change and they say it's big enough to make a difference.
We find a bearded seal on a tiny iceberg, one of many creatures that need the ice.
The ocean will refreeze this winter, but sometime soon there may be a summer with no ice at all.
So the impact of this great change may well be felt far beyond this remote part of the world.
Heat waves in the United States, storms in Europe, all because the melting of the ice may shift the position of the jet stream.
This is early days for the research into this, but the scientists are convinced the scale of the change here means they're on to something.
David Chutman there with some very alarming findings from the Arctic North that affect all of us around the world.
You're watching BBC World News.
The science is in!
So he says that this has happened in the past, but they think that was for natural reasons.
This isn't.
But they don't know why it isn't.
Somehow it happened before, by the way, for natural reasons.
But now they're convinced that this one, which...
Is unnatural.
This one, for some reason, is unnatural.
The science is in.
Why is this?
Because the scientists say so.
He said that right there.
The scientists agree.
You know, pretty soon it will be, four out of five scientists agree, you should cut your penis off.
And people will be like, oh, I better cut it off.
I mean, this is how stupid people are.
The women may not be that stupid, but they don't have penises.
I'm just trying to prove a point here.
You have to be very, very careful when you just say science is in and believe it.
And this is how you're being tricked.
Do you know that we have 78 degrees here in Austin, Texas for the past two days and it looks like it's going to be that way for the next week?
I want to repeat.
I want to repeat.
This is September.
Beginning of September.
78 degrees in Austin, Texas.
Well, what is it normally?
100.
Oh.
Alabama has been the coolest summer ever.
So where's the whole...
Well, that doesn't count.
That's weather.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
What am I thinking?
When it's my weather, it doesn't count.
When it's their weather, it counts.
Okay.
It's the hottest on record.
Yeah.
Forever.
For the past 279 months.
This is a real problem.
Jobs are going up.
We're in a job recovery.
I mean, everything is lies.
And then they wonder why people are skeptical about some of the science information that comes through from a bunch of guys who don't make any sense.
Or any money for that reason.
We don't make sense.
We don't make money.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, John.
John, John, John.
Okay.
You're going to love this.
Actually, it's sad.
This is the saddest thing ever.
So sometimes when we have an off-donation day or week, we try to augment that by you coaching me do some voice work.
In the hopes of getting a national game.
Right, and you're making me lose confidence in my ability to direct.
Well, so do you remember the most recent one we did?
The one we did?
You have to remind me.
Taylor Swift.
Oh, right.
Taylor Swift.
Okay.
So, okay.
So, I'm going to reread the specs for the script, which you directed me upon.
So, the spec was, and this is for Taylor Swift, the web announcement, specs...
18 to 28-year-old cool male, positive, reading should not feel rushed but needs a few beats and should fit within 30 seconds, no more than two takes, please.
And so you and I, we rehearsed it, you got me pumped up, and then you had me do the voiceover, and you agreed that that was the one, right?
I mean, we're just, we're going to agree that, and I think even the chat room who was listening live at the time said, okay, that's the one, right?
So I just play that for a second just so you can get it.
Adam Curry, Vox Agency, Taylor Swift web announcement.
This is Taylor Swift.
She loves to give the Sony NEX 5R as a gift.
She also loves to give back to her fans, which gave Sony an idea.
As Taylor promotes her upcoming album, Red, Sony's giving you the chance to come along as her personal photographer.
You'll document every amazing moment with a Sony NEX.
But first, you'll need to submit a portfolio of your five best photos.
And what you said is, you know, I put a little bit of the surfer dude in and, you know, and you actually pump me up like you love Taylor.
Taylor's the best.
And that's what I came up with.
And we all universally agreed that was the read, right?
I think so.
I think a little bit could have been toned down at the beginning.
I think if I had heard that, as from the guy doing the producing, I would have said, bring him in.
We can work with this guy.
And then I would have put you in the studio in a normal way, and then they would have made you say it over and over and over and over again until they got the one they wanted.
And you're done.
You get your doula check for $45 or whatever it is, $60, and boom, you're back home and you can go buy some food.
Okay, so needless to say, we did not go buy food, did not pass go, did not collect food.
You didn't get a call back.
No.
But the guy that did get it, here's the official, it's out now, here's the commercial.
Oh, cool.
Here's the commercial.
This?
It's Taylor Swift.
She loves to give the Sony NEX 5R as a gift.
She also loves to give back to her fans, which gave Sony an idea.
As Taylor promotes her upcoming album Red, Sony is giving you an NEX camera and the chance to come along as her personal photographer.
You'll document every amazing moment with your Sony NEX. But first, you'll need to submit a portfolio of your five best photos.
Then who knows?
Maybe you'll get to join me on the road and use a Sony NEX camera to capture it.
So if they had just said, can we please have a zombie, we would have done the right read.
Wow, that's nothing like the spec.
It's nothing like my read either, John.
No, not like your read for sure, but read the spec again.
18 to 28 year old, cool male, positive.
The guy's not, he's like, he's 30, if he's a day.
He's not cool.
He sounds like a, okay, go on.
Reading should not feel rushed, but needs a few beats and should fit within 30 seconds.
Okay, he did one thing I like, which is he punched up butt first.
Oh, come on.
He was completely flat.
He sounded like one of those announcers that you hear on PBS. Yeah, so I think...
Which is a zombie-like quality.
Yeah, you're right.
Why don't they just put...
We want zombie to read this script.
I think we have been reading this all wrong, and from now on, I'm just going to do every single audition like a zombie.
Because I think that's what they want.
For some reason, it may be a reasoning.
They talk a big game, but they want zombies.
I just want freaking zombies.
It's like the blue wine guy's always complaining.
He says, ah, yeah, people talk dry, but they always drink sweet.
Yeah.
They just want zombies.
I think that's...
And I'm listening to the radio and television.
All these commercials are just zombies.
It's the same guy.
Pay attention to it.
I'm going to now.
This guy could have been the Sprint commercial.
You know, Sprint now offers unlimited bandwidth.
Get the Sprint with the new HTC TCX Samsung Note Galaxy 3S. Or the new iPhone.
Sprint.
Taylor Swift.
They just want zombies.
Zombies need to talk to zombies because you identify with zombies.
Oh, we should have known this.
We do this show, damn it.
I'm going to show myself a little by donating to No Agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
Yeah, on No Agenda.
In the morning.
Alright, well here we are.
Slow week, I have to say.
But we did have some people help us out.
Michael McPhee in Langley, British Columbia.
$111.11.
He's a first-time donor, wants a douchebag.
He wants a douchebag?
Yes, that's what he says.
Douchebag!
But he says, many people will confirm that I do propagate the no-agenda formula, much so that a girl's shut-up slave is probably deserved.
We'll save these to the end.
Anyway, the 11111 is a dedicated...
Dedication to his beautiful daughter, Amanda, who turns 18 today, September 9th.
And she's now enrolled at the University of Calgary, which is in what province, Adam?
That is in...
Alberta.
Alberta, which is where all the money is.
That's where they suck the money out of it.
They're sucking the money out of it.
We know what's going on up here.
But it's proof.
We too are sucking the money out.
Amanda texted me that she thought the Nintendo 3DS was very cool, but I figured that she would surely be more happy that I instead give you guys the cash.
Wait a minute.
So she's like, oh, it's my birthday.
My dad's going to give me a Nintendo 3DS. And then she gets this.
Yes.
She gets a birthday shout-out on the best podcast in the universe.
Wow.
That's probably worth more in the karmic sense.
Besides, when she becomes a cis-admin or a geologist or whatever she can use her stock options to buy, she can buy anything she wants.
Anyhow, please send Amanda a sciences in and some karma for her new adventure in Cowtown, which is the way, of course, the B.C. people...
Refer to Calgary.
So we need a...
Shut up, slave.
Shut up, slave.
Science is in karma.
Okay.
Shut up, slave.
The science is in karma.
You've got karma.
There you go.
And she's on the list.
And she's on the list for a birthday call-out.
Patrick McComb in Mount Vernon, New York, or Make-Em.
Make-Em?
McComb.
Make-Em, I'm sure.
$111, no comment.
And then Wolfhound.
Oh!
Oh!
It's a Chinese wolf.
Chinese wolf.
In Keller, Texas, $100.
It's a longtime boner.
It's time to be a donor.
Without revealing my age, I'll say that I've been a fan of both of you for some time.
You're truly the best podcast in the universe.
Your promotion of critical thinking and media assassination is unrivaled.
Thank you.
It's true.
I don't see anyone else doing this.
And it's not that hard.
You just have to sit and read a lot.
You have to do something.
I had the pleasure of living in Gitmo Nation Lowlands as a young airman in Sosterberg Air Force Base.
What a wonderful two years it was prior to the base closure.
He must have been there when I was flying over it.
Because I was there all the way up until it closed.
I flew over it many, many times.
Because you have to ask permission to transit their airspace.
I would fly over the base all the time.
The Dutch people are the greatest, and I still have many friends back there.
I'm asking for job karma as I'm tired of wasting time and energy in my current position.
Absolutely.
Special airman job karma we're giving you right now.
You've got...
Karma.
Only airmen can give that out.
Chris Whitten in Huntersville, North Carolina, $100.
He needs a Chemtrails Karma for his family and himself.
We just had our fifth anniversary and hope for at least a couple more just kidding.
Lots more.
Keep up the good work.
Chemtrails.
You've got karma.
I like that.
That's a nice combo.
That's a nice combo.
Eric Henry in Orlando, Florida, 8401.
In the morning of you, John and Adam, I've just finished episode 435, which I tried to donate.
435, he's that far, but he's seven episodes behind.
Hey man, give it up.
Which I tried to...
Just give it up.
We do repeat ourselves enough, I think.
So he won't actually hear this...
He won't actually hear this until 2013.
And we'll all be dead.
He may never hear this.
Which I tried to donate, but for PayPal kicked it back, and I was astounded to hear a douchebag call-out, which I would have made.
Please call out Matt Farrell as a douchebag.
Douchebag!
He introduced me to the show, so he's getting old douchebag call-outs.
He's introduced me to the show some time ago, and he's still hitting people in the mouth, but not donating to the best podcast in the universe.
Adam, I will give you some leniency because you are on the road, but I, about one month ago now, there were a series of earthquakes all over Iran, Iran.
Funny enough, they were all very shallow and located in the Iranian nuke sites.
Please harp on this for a while, pun intended, as the U.S. is using their super weapon to covertly attack a sovereign foreign power against the will of the American people.
I recently hit my wife in the mouth.
She liked it and didn't call the cops.
Please assassinate the media some more so we can give up more money.
Can I get Obama riled up ready to go?
Do you have that?
No, I don't have that.
I have it somewhere now, but I don't have it handy.
Two to the head karma shot.
It used to hit people in the mouth.
8401 equals 8 plus 4 plus 0 plus 1 equals 13.84.01 equals 8 times 4 plus 0 plus 1 equals 33.
Right, so I can give him a take that to the bank two to the head karma.
That's good enough.
That's kind of good, isn't it?
You can take that to the bank.
You've got Carmen.
Right, so his 8401 donation is 8 plus 4 plus 0 plus 1 is 1384.01 equals 33.
It makes so much sense.
It's how we do it.
I love the numerologists that we have listening to our show.
Brian Watson in Raleigh, North Carolina, home of the Republican or Democrat convention, I guess.
69!
69, dudes!
Our first of the 69-69s for this week.
We only have three, so it's starting to fade off again.
We're down.
Alan Schaaf in St.
Paul, Minnesota, 69-69.
A little swazzle enough getting laid karma.
We need a swazzle enough jingle.
I'm going to find something.
You've got karma.
I think the fans are over by the time we get one.
Craig Ward in Blackpool!
UK, 6969.
Hey, Adam and John.
It's Craig from Blackpool.
I've always wanted to go to the amusement park there.
It's one of the oldest still operating amusement parks in the world.
Really?
Yeah, and I'm sure it's photogenic because it's funky.
The town is funky around the amusement park.
Currently backpacking around Australia because I won't be able to go with Craig here.
Get a kick out of JCD trying to pronounce the town I'm in.
Bit-a-bada-bit-a-bada.
Queensland.
Yeah.
Abadabad?
Bidadaba.
You've got karma.
Sorry, something...
And that closes our 69-69 segment.
Ah, so we wind it up.
69!
69, dude!
Alan Martin, 59-99.
He needs a new job.
Karma's starting a new land admin for a price water house of some sort.
Alan Martin, Alan Martin, Brandon, Florida.
Please pay...
add a penny.
Oh, add a penny, so you get 60...
You've got karma.
Anonymous in Los Angeles, $50.31 in honor of my and John's Golden Bears getting their first win of the season against a second-rate team.
We'll see what happens when they play Ohio State.
I'll be donating each week in an amount that represents the score of the last game during the football season.
Well, that's good.
Given how the Bears look this season, the model will be whatever the winning score is, has to offer some consolation that the greater good of no agenda will be supported, even as the Bears keep getting blown out.
You know, nobody but him and I understand what we're talking about here.
Or cares, actually.
I think if you do.
Except you.
Now that you hate sports, now that I've made the transition from boner to donor, can I get some Huntsman's shut-up slave de-douching karma?
Not drunk, but would like this to be read in his drunk-too-bad-too-late Skype-as-broken chipmunk voice.
Okay.
So Huntsman, shut up...
What was it?
Slave.
Huntsman, shut up, slave, dedouching karma.
Okay.
Shut up!
You've been dedouched.
Sorry.
You've got karma.
I added an extra one in there.
You gave him a bonus of a douche-de-douche-ing.
Yeah, a douche-de-douche.
Anyway.
Sorry about that.
Mark Fusco in San Antonio, Texas, down the road, up the road from you, 50 bucks.
Belated happy birthday to Adam.
And today's his birthday.
He's celebrating a Sunday night with some friends and wine, of course.
No karma or anything else.
Just need a mention of 1337wine.com.
1337wine.com.
We'll check that out, too.
Hey, did you know that the fastest highway in the United States, where the speed limit is 85 miles an hour...
It's a toll road in Texas.
It's between Austin and San Antone, that's right.
A toll road.
Yeah, it's a toll road.
Which means you're doing 85 and then you've got to stop...
No, sorry.
You should come to Texas.
We have a reader, so you can just keep going.
Oh, so anyone that doesn't live in Texas and hasn't bought a reader from the Texas government?
No, no, no.
Sorry.
Stop, douchebag from California.
No.
It takes a picture and they'll send it to your house.
Yeah, with a bill.
Yeah, with a bill.
You get a bill.
You don't have to prepay anything.
They send the bill to your house, literally for like 99 cents or whatever, and you send off your check.
99.
Yes, it's very sophisticated.
It's not $0.99, I can assure you.
It is $0.99.
It's $0.99 to get on the toll road from Austin to San Antonio and drive 85 miles an hour?
No, I think at the total distance, you may be like $3.99 for the whole trip, probably.
That's probably worse.
Yes, you don't have to slow down, all these things.
You know what?
You're stereotyping.
Freeway should be free.
Gert Van Tripp.
Parts Unknown, $50.
Geert Van Tripp.
Thank you.
Geert.
And Bernie Atima.
Unfortunately, I've corrected myself so many times on Bernie's name, I can never pronounce it.
A hint in Iowa, $50.
That'll be it for today's show 442, which is a little thin.
Hopefully, people will pick up the pace as they get back and maybe catch up to the shows.
You know, before it's too late.
You know what's kind of sad?
Is that people who are 12 episodes behind, they don't know that we're actually starving.
And by the time they catch up, we could be dead.
We'd be like skeletons in the desert.
We could be those cow heads in the desert.
Next to a cactus.
Well, we're just going to presume this was off because of the vacation week, but we do want you to remember...
And we really are still doing the work.
I mean, I think we're really going all out.
I mean, can you imagine having to watch all the crap that we watch?
You know?
And then with the annoyance that now that C-SPAN is going commercial, I mean, what are we going to have left?
There'll be no stations left for me to watch.
I don't know what we're going to do.
Yeah.
Anyway, let's get to the birthdays.
Another service here in DoorGender.
We love doing it free of charge.
I'm DoorGender.
Jordan Hosingcock congratulates himself.
himself.
He is celebrating on 9-11 coming up, and lots of people will be celebrating with him.
Michael McPhee congratulates his daughter Amanda.
She won a Nintendo 3DS for her 18th birthday, which is today.
Guess what, Amanda?
You got a shout-out on the No Agenda Show.
Ain't that great?
It's the gift that keeps on giving.
And Mark Fusco congratulates himself celebrating yesterday.
Happy birthday from all of your buddies here at the best podcast in the universe.
It's your birthday, yeah.
And we've got some people who've caught up and are becoming Knights of the No Agenda Roundtable, John, which is really nice.
And I've quite a few here.
Yeah, we've got three today, so it'll be a good...
I didn't ask you to pull out the blade yet.
Put it back.
Okay, you ready?
What?
Pull out your blade.
Okay.
Okay.
You got to wait until I tell you what I do.
Barry Hanna, Jesse Cruz, and Yudu Hüttenkow, please step forward.
Gentlemen, so nice to welcome you into the exclusive club known as the Knights of the No Agenda Roundtable.
Each of you has supported the best podcast in the universe in an amount of $1,000 or more.
So your rings are on the way, gents.
Thank you so much.
And I hereby pronounce the Sir Barry, Sir Jesse, and Sir Knight Geronimus.
All Knights of the No Agenda Roundtable.
Hookers and blow-rim, boys and chardonnay, hot pants and booze and wenches and beer are right here for you.
And thank you once again.
For without you, we probably would have been on the air a long, long time ago.
The best podcast in the universe!
There's proof.
We've got a jingle that says it.
Yep, can't be wrong.
Jingles are never wrong.
Okay, I haven't asked...
Jingles are always right, you mean.
Don't throw the negative on it.
And by the way, for those of you who keep emailing me about Haldol, we have a lot of people in the...
A medical field.
We have a lot of people in the emergency services field who have access to this.
Could you please send me some?
I want to try this now.
Did you see the thing Willow?
She ran into the Italian version of the disclaimers or the contraindications and one of them was sudden death.
Who Willow did?
Yeah, you got the letter.
No, I didn't see that.
I didn't see it.
She says sudden death.
She translated the Italian.
They left it off in the American version.
Really?
No, I didn't see that.
Sudden death.
Well, you know, I'll do it after a show.
So, you know, at least you'll be able to have time to do it after a show.
No, but I'll do it after a Sunday show.
No, let's do it near the end of the show.
Where I take it at the end of the show.
I want to do that.
I want to do the tongue going like that.
La, la, la, la.
According to Chad, who runs EMS there in Denver, he has it as a part of his chemical restraint pack.
They have to restrain a lot of people, apparently.
He says it reduces your entire capability as a human resource down to about 10% of capacity.
So...
Notch on your ass.
Yeah, so send me some.
I want to try this.
I mean, now that I'm not smoking, and I have a question, two questions.
So first, do you notice a difference in me now that I'm not smoking?
Do I see more on edge, more irritated?
No.
No?
No difference at all?
I didn't see a difference when you stopped smoking dope.
Right, but, you know, so the dope was easier to quit, obviously.
The weed was like, you know, just like, I'm not feeling it anymore.
And I don't care.
And I'm around it and like, whatever, you know.
It actually kind of smells skunky now.
I'm not even really interested in it.
But the cigarettes, now we're on day 10, and day 10 is a little harder than day 1 through 3 for some reason.
Why?
I don't know what it is.
You really want a cigarette, don't you?
No, no, no, it's not that.
Do you know that they discovered a long time ago that drinking makes you want to have a cigarette?
The acidity in the stomach, and they found you can contradict the effect of drinking, especially liquor, by having Tums.
If you de-acidify the stomach, the desire for tobacco lessens by quite a bit, apparently.
No, it's not that.
You know what it is?
I am not a doctor.
No.
Oh, stupid me.
I always take your medical advice.
No, it's situations.
So, sitting outside, because we wouldn't smoke in the house, we'd sit outside.
So you're sitting outside, you're like, wow, I'd love to smoke.
After dinner, I have to say, it's kind of one of those moments.
Let's just slam a few highballs instead.
The number one place where I miss it is during the show.
And I've been smoking...
Same advice.
Sam, a few highballs?
Yeah.
During the show.
I would like to try some Haldol instead.
I think it's going to kill the show.
I think a few highballs would be cool.
A highball.
What are the ingredients of a highball?
I can't remember.
What is it?
I can't remember.
I just like saying it, obviously.
What a highball ingredient.
A highball is a very famous drink.
Isn't that like a Frank Sinatra type drink?
Kind of a highball.
It's an old-fashioned cocktail.
Here we go.
Here's what it is.
I'm going to look it up in the Book of Knowledge.
It's a...
Oh, ginger ale, right.
It's just a common highball of scotch whiskey in carbonated water, which is also called scotch and soda.
Right.
Well, I like...
That's a family of mix drinks.
Let's see what else.
I thought a highball was more to it than...
It says ginger ale is the classic highball.
Okay, ginger ale.
Ginger ale.
Oh, I'll try that.
That sounds kind of good.
A highball, by the basis of the Wikipedia, is a class of drinks which consists of whiskeys mixed with some other bubbly anything.
A dark and stormy would be a highball, which is rum and ginger beer, for example.
A dulled dolphin.
Ginger whiskey.
Just Canadian whiskey and ginger ale.
That should be tasty.
A dulled dolphin?
A gin and tonic they consider to be a highball by the century.
That's not a highball.
That's a gin and tonic.
No, it's a gin and tonic.
To me, a highball has to have scotch or bourbon.
But scotch.
Mickey will make this for me.
A Moscow mule.
I think I've had a Moscow mule.
So 7 and 7 is basically a highball.
I'm not buying this.
A Moscow Mule is a buck or a mule cocktail.
Vodka, ginger beer.
I've had the Moscow Mule.
I kind of like that with the ginger beer.
Vodka, ginger beer, and lime served in a copper mug.
What's the point of that?
To create some electricity or something?
It's a battery.
You can use that as a battery if you're a rebel in Syria.
As long as it's in the copper mug.
All right.
Here's another question for you.
John C. Dvorak, you sometimes are up there in the region of Washington, and you've been to Seattle, correct?
Oh, yes.
Yes, you've been to Seattle.
Have you been to Seattle recently?
Well, yeah, I guess.
I haven't been roaming around the city, if that's what you're wondering.
Well, because there is a mystery afoot in Seattle.
A foot?
No, it's not afoot, but there is a mystery afoot.
And it is a sound, and I'm going to play this sound for you, because we have it captured.
And I want you to tell me if you can identify this sound, which has been mystifying residents of Seattle for weeks.
Hey, ready?
Hit it.
Alright, here it comes.
This ambient recording.
Hold on.
Here it is.
Now, can you recognize this sound?
You hear the sound, right?
It sounds like a motor.
It sounds like an airplane flying over.
It sounds like a motorcycle.
What is so weird about this sound?
Well, because it is a sound that is emanating all throughout western Seattle, and no one knows the origin of this sound.
Let me play a little more.
It could be a very powerful motorboat out there.
It sounds like a boat.
It's a speedboat.
Now, I personally believe it is the sound of the Stargate opening.
But listen, you can lie.
Is this a stretch?
No.
Why does it make noise when it opens?
Was it the gears?
The motor?
The old motor finally turned on.
My Stargate has an engine.
No, this actually...
Is the Stargate in the water?
Because if it is, you know what's coming through the other side.
I'm glad you mentioned that because it actually is the sound of horny fish, John.
Yeah, we're here at the Alki where the Duwamish just starts to run upstream because people have been hearing this all over West Seattle.
It doesn't matter which side of the hilltop you're living on.
They've been reporting hearing this thing.
So there's been a lot of guessing.
There's been a lot of theories, even some finger-pointing.
Well, tonight, we turn to science to finally try and get some answers.
Now, that's your clue.
When they say they're turning to science, you know the bullshit is coming really hard.
In case you missed the sound that's been keeping West Seattle awake, listen.
That low-frequency hum has had people wondering, just what is it?
There are plenty of theories.
It definitely sounds like grinding our machinery.
And it's not natural, no.
I'm so sad they didn't interview me because I would have said, dude, it's the motorized Stargate, obviously.
Or is it?
Could it be the sound of this ugly creature looking for love?
Marine biologists say yes.
It very well could be the call of the midshipman fish.
Here's the mystery sound again.
Now here's the mating call of the midshipman.
I love this part of the report because they don't sound anything alike.
They don't sound anything alike.
Anything, but science will prove it to us.
We wanted proof.
You want to just take the whole thing?
Yeah, let's just take the whole thing.
So we turned to Professor Joe Cisneros of the University of Washington.
All right, here we go.
And grad student Ashwin Bondiwan.
See if we can get some fish.
We headed down to the banks of the Duwamish.
All right, I'm going to cast it out pretty far, as far as I can.
Where the pair sent an underwater microphone into the water.
Listening for the distinct sound of the midshipmen.
But there's a difference between an underwater mic and sound traveling miles over land.
Could it really be the fish?
Yes, they say.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, it's pretty incredible.
And normally you wouldn't hear it, but once you put something like a boat in the water, it'll resonate and it'll carry really far.
The mating calls reach a peak in the middle of the night.
So the pair, they'll be out late, hoping to solve the mystery.
So there you go, John.
It is not a motorized stargate.
So it's like a cat in heat.
Yeah, exactly.
In the water.
It is not a motorized stargate, which clearly it is.
It is a horny fish who is groaning against the hull of a ship.
How can the people of Seattle buy this crap?
Meanwhile, there's some illegal activity taking place as they're drilling or God knows what.
This would be my theory.
On some boat offshore and they want to do it at night.
And people are bitching so they can't buy this cock and bull story.
Let me just tell you, those of you who are on board for the Mothership boarding pass, your purchase is not in vain, my friends.
It is not in vain.
When they start rolling out this bullcrap science on you, something's going on.
Lock me up.
Okay, I got one there.
You can lock me up.
Well, I ran into what I thought was the weirdest commercial ever.
And I don't even know if it's been pulled or they're going to take it off the air.
But this is a commercial that is the Dish Network calling out DirecTV.
And they normally do this to each other.
It's usually about one price or another.
But I have never heard a commercial like this.
I don't even know if it's legal.
I have, before we play this, I have seen them say, like, Breaking Bad, not on Dish Network.
I've seen that.
Is that what this is?
No, this is worse.
Okay.
You know what DirecTV's doing?
They're charging folks hundreds of dollars just to watch football on Sundays.
Who'd pay for that?
I got Dish and I see games every week.
DirecTV's a bunch of cars.
Car job.
Car job.
Con jobs!
Dirty cons!
It's a real, old-fashioned con job!
Getting conned by DirecTV's Big Deal could end up costing you over $2,500.
Catch the biggest plays on Sunday, live with the multi-sport pack from Dish.
Wow, that's great.
I like that.
Because, of course, all these guys are con jobs.
It's all a con job.
That's hilarious.
I've never seen anything like this.
I think it's liable.
I thought he was saying cron job at first.
No, con job, con job.
And they have a little kid yelling it.
They go from person to person all yelling con job.
You know, we need to get a better version of that.
I'd like to just use the con job thing.
Just by itself is kind of good.
But I swear I first thought I said cron job.
I'm like, really?
We've got a cron job running or something?
Yeah.
But con job, just as a loose thing.
Well, you know what?
I still have the original.
I'll take and just piece con job, con job, con job together and won't have anything to do with anything.
I have to tell you, I am so close to just...
Is there a way for me, besides the internet, is there any other...
Can I get...
C-SPAN with just basic cable?
Is there any way to get that?
I don't need any of this crap.
My bill, John, with internet, is $240 a month.
That's a scam.
It's a con job.
It's a con job.
And I don't even have sports packages.
You don't like sports.
I don't watch any sports.
I don't understand.
And the portions are so small.
And last night, okay, so we watch.
And by the way, they changed the interface again on Time Warner.
And now you can't find anything.
And Mickey's like mad at me.
She's like, I can't find the movies.
I'm like, I couldn't find them on the last interface.
And we literally go to Roku, Amazon Prime.
You get the movies for free as part of your Prime package.
I'm so done with this.
We have a bunch of listeners out there who are experts in satellite technology.
I don't care.
I'm not interested in watching any of it.
There's no movies that are interested.
You watch C-SPAN on the computer.
Yeah, I guess I can just watch it on the streams.
I mean, maybe...
You know what?
I think what I'm going to do...
Here's my final solution.
Because I really wish that C-SPAN was on Roku with just their streams.
Then it will be done.
I'd cut the whole thing out.
We ordered...
We were watching Boss.
You know the show Boss?
Yeah, which I didn't watch the first season or whatever, and I just got into it recently, and I have to say, Kelsey Grammer, here's what it might take before you say anything, and then you can tell me where I'm wrong, because you've probably seen more than I have.
I think Kelsey Grammer is a terrific actor who should win an Emmy for this role, and his supporting cast can't act.
It's some of the worst acting I've ever seen.
It's so funny you say that because when you have those two...
We're actually...
Because we do dialogue when something's really bad.
And then the girl says, what's wrong?
And then I'll reply, well, you really suck at acting.
Oh, okay, yeah.
And that was during last night's show when we were watching.
Kelsey Grammer is great.
There are one or two...
I like the nose girl.
You know, the political girl who just went to the other side.
Yeah, no, she's okay.
She does her work.
If you see her in season one, because you didn't see season one, she is having sex with this guy, and it's really sexy.
And she gets pretty naked in that show.
You've got to see her screwing in that show.
But you have to watch season one.
I think actually Boss did win an Emmy.
Well, I know I'm saying Grammer.
Did Kelsey Grammer win the Emmy?
He should win an Emmy for Best Actor.
He's really good in this.
But the problem is, the supporting cast, they can't act at all.
Some of them are horrible.
It's really bad, yeah.
And Mario Van Peebles is involved, and I think he directs a couple, and I'm not a big fan of his.
Kelsey Grammer, he won a Golden Globe.
For Boss.
But I think he's been shut out of the Emmys.
Not even nominated.
So anyway.
But this is a fantastic show.
And we had to purchase Stars Network or whatever just to watch the show on demand.
Which is another cron job.
And so we're watching it on my $250 a month cable thing.
And it keeps stopping and crapping out.
Because of the great new interface or whatever.
You have to start it up again and then it goes back two minutes.
It's like, it's the biggest piece of, it's a cron job.
Crap.
Total crap.
And for what?
It's like, it's not all that great a show.
No, it's not.
I like it.
I enjoy it.
It's a very enjoyable show, but it's mostly, but the distracting bad acting, although I have to say, I do have a clip.
Of Boss?
Of Boss?
No, I don't have a clip of Boss, but I have a clip of another.
I didn't realize, because I never watched this show, but I just caught this little clip on two broke girls.
Oh, you know, is that what you're watching again?
No, I was flipping around, and I just happened to nail this clip of an anti-post office propaganda right in the middle of this crappy show, and I watched it for...
There's a blonde and a brunette.
I don't know, they're broke.
That's what they call two broke girls.
The acting in this show is unbelievably bad.
And this brunette woman, who I guess is, I don't know who, she is terrible.
She can barely deliver a line.
It's just flat.
But I just wanted to play the anti-post-offer propaganda, which has just galled me to no end.
No, there was a cupcake check in your purse.
It just got mixed in.
And anyway, who still sends important stuff through the mail these days?
What are we, pioneers?
No, we're business women and we need to keep track of every penny.
Laugh track.
I have, with my daughter's passport woes, I've been sending a lot of stuff Overnight to Los Angeles.
For a while there, I'm like, I'll just FedEx it.
I go down to FedEx.
Do you want an overnight FedEx cost versus the United States Postal Service?
Yeah, and get used to it.
The FedEx is like $60.
$60.
It used to be 12.
It used to be 8 when they started.
FedEx.
For an overnight letter.
Yeah.
Now, I'm literally, and the girl was very nice.
Now she's like, hey, Adam, you back?
Are you a daughter or something?
I don't know.
I still have a passport.
And then she'll be like, you're going to hate me.
I said, well, I'm not going to hate you specifically, but yeah, I'm going to hate this freaking cron job.
And then it's like $60 for an overnight delivery.
And it's not even before 10 a.m.
It's just like any time.
And the United States Postal Service, they'll do it for, I think it's 17?
Maybe less.
It's less than that.
Overnight.
Overnight.
Oh, just straight overnight?
Yeah, maybe.
It's half the price.
Less than half the price.
Yeah.
And if you just do regular first class, it'll be there in two days.
And I believe you can just stick this in your mailbox, can't you?
And the guy will just pick it up out of the mailbox?
You could, yeah.
If you have the right feast on it, sure.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just nuts.
Yeah, get used to it, because that's what it's all about.
That's just another thing.
Get used to it.
Get used to it, people.
You're going to get screwed over.
You can thank your federal government and Congress setting this thing up.
75 years of prepaid retirement benefits, health benefits, they had to do.
That's why they're losing their ass.
And it's a scam.
It's a cron job.
It's a cron job, and it's an anti-constitutional scam.
Because the post office and its workings are listed very clearly.
But you know what?
Just let that go, because once they...
Look, just whatever.
You know what?
The kind of scams that I like, we really follow more on this show than the post office being screwed over by our own government.
I think this was a good report.
It was on Bloomberg recently, and I think it kind of says it all about the relationship between government and corporations.
Oh, yes.
I got it.
Coming to number eight, let's look at General Electric shares.
That's just about 1%.
The world's largest maker of jet engines won the biggest Pentagon contract in August as the total value of military awards fell 40% from the previous month.
GE topped a list of more than 380 contracts announced by the Defense Department with a combined potential value, get this, $26.5 billion.
Wow!
Before you say anything, John, let me just see, let me just go to the Book of Knowledge and look at Jeffrey R. Immelt.
Let me just see.
He is selected by GE's board of directors to replace Jack Welch following his retirement.
Then he became the president and CEO. Let me see.
Is there anything?
Oh, let me see.
Yes.
In February 2009, Inland was appointed as a member of the president's economic recovery advisory board.
Uh-huh.
Oh, and on January 21st, 2011, President Obama announced Immelt's appointment as chairman of his outside panel of economic advisors, succeeding former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker.
Wow, and this, let's see, wow, this is very, very interesting.
In July, 2011, Immels General Electric announced that it's in the process of relocating its X-ray division from Wisconsin to China.
Huh.
And now, all of a sudden, he gets a really, really big...
Do you think that there's any kind of collusion there, John, about his, like, sleeping with the president?
Or conflicts of interest, maybe?
Do you think that...
Was there any question on Bloomberg about this, or was it just...
No, no, no.
There was number eight on their hot list of great trades.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great traders, you mean.
Yeah.
Yeah, or whatever.
Anyway.
China, China, China.
So get used to that.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's great.
$27 billion.
And most of the work is going out to China.
Right.
That's the joke of it.
Yeah.
Webinars.
Let's talk webinars.
Webinars!
I bring this up because I think you hate webinars.
Webinars!
I love webinars.
I love the word webinar.
What is inherently wrong with a webinar?
It's dumb.
So, all of a sudden, I don't know, you know, people start...
For one thing, it's not a true seminar, because it's supposed to be a seminar over the web.
It's a webinar.
Get it?
So, what is a seminar, then?
What happens in a seminar...
A seminar is like you get about five or six people together with someone who's very knowledgeable...
And you sit and he presents information.
You converse about it.
It's a college.
It's a functionary system within a college structure, a university structure, where you can take a regular course.
You can take a seminar.
The seminars are very small, elite.
You know, people are really interested in something, and it's done for educational purposes.
Webinars for educational purposes are usually to sell something.
And it's like infinite numbers of people.
It's more like a lecture than it is anything else because there's no real...
It's not the kind of interaction you would have in a true seminar where you pretty much got the guy right in front of you and you're asking him stuff.
Right.
I could go on.
Yeah, no, you could.
But that would be boring.
It's already boring.
You probably saw this message.
And I didn't understand it at first.
I'm like, why are people sending me messages from the past?
Because in 2011, the CDC released that zombie apocalypse thing.
Remember that?
They have the prepare for the zombie apocalypse.
Yeah, the zombies are coming.
Yeah, and it was so hilarious.
But that was 2011.
And we discussed it on the show and how ridiculous it is and, you know, is it really ridiculous and maybe, you know, ha ha ha, but there really is a zombie apocalypse.
And all of a sudden this shows up in the news again.
Did you not get this?
Did you not get emails from people and tweets saying, zombie apocalypse, the government's expecting a zombie apocalypse.
You didn't see that?
No.
I got a lot of it.
And if you just Google it, you'll see, like, one day ago, two days ago, government ready for zombie apocalypse.
What the hell is going on?
Turns out it was a webinar.
And I have a recording of the webinar.
Good afternoon, everybody, and welcome to FEMA's Community Preparedness webinar series.
Don't you love it?
Welcome to FEMA's Preparedness Webinar.
It's a series of webinars, John.
A series.
This is your ultimate nightmare.
It's a webinar that never goes away.
Welcome to the September monthly FEMA update where our topic is zombie awareness.
Is our government out of control?
This is unbelievable.
The whole thing is unbelievable.
I mean, I have more of it, but I, you know.
A few technical considerations before we get started.
Please make sure your computer speaker volume is turned up so you can hear the proceedings efficiently.
This is how you take notes, John, in case you're ever involved in a webinar.
And it's part of the government.
Because if you're part of the government, apparently you're an idiot.
So make sure your speaker's turned up.
This webinar is free and open to the public.
It is also being recorded.
Within 48 hours, we will be posting a link to the recording as well as the presentations on Citizen Corps' website.
If you look directly to your left in the chat box, you can see the link to that website.
I can't even play more.
Although I should.
What is this about?
It's about the zombie webinar.
This is a zombie webinar.
This is crazy.
...or after a disaster, and to inject a little levity into preparedness while still informing and educating people.
It's also a great way to grab attention and increase interest in general preparedness.
The CDC zombie campaign, which you'll hear about in just a moment, has been able to generate an enormous amount of publicity at very low cost.
Bad publicity.
No, they think it's great.
See, they think it's awesome.
This is why they have the whole webinar to teach you how to use zombies to promote other stuff.
That's what the whole webinar is about.
But just check the chat box.
You'll learn more over there.
I know.
You give me crap about watching two broke girls.
Something really, really interesting happened, particularly in light of what we were talking about with the TSA. Testing your drinks?
Yes.
Did we ever thank our artists for last show?
Oh, gee, I'm sorry, John.
You're so right.
I forgot to thank Martin JJ. Thank you for reminding me.
So, your advice was if the TSA comes up and wants to test my drink, then you just pretend like you were shocked and you drop the drink and you throw it.
Right?
And then you throw the drink on the ground.
Is that what it was?
Yeah.
Something like that.
That was your advice.
You have to jump.
You've got to jump like you're scared.
Yeah, like you're scared.
You've got to jump up.
And then the drink goes flying.
Right.
Hopefully on their pants.
So there was a passenger, and she refused to let the TSA test her drink.
And guess what happened?
They threw in jail.
Well, they detained her, and she was not allowed to get on the flight.
That'll teach the woman a lesson.
So here's what's interesting.
You have to listen closely, because she was recording with her phone video, but it's kind of like underneath her jacket, so it's a little rustly.
She recorded the TSA agents, and you can see them actually in the shot answering the question.
She said, so why did you do this?
Why did you detain me for not letting you test my drink?
Exactly.
Do you think that I'm honestly a threat?
So she's saying, do you think I'm really a threat?
Do you think that?
No, no, no.
But with your attitude, no, no, no.
Okay.
So, wait, let me get this straight.
This is retaliatory for my attitude.
This is not making the airwaves safer.
It's retaliatory.
Pretty much simply.
I just agree.
Is that legal?
So, okay.
So, because it was hard to hear for you.
She says, why did you do this?
They say, because of your attitude.
And then she says, wait a minute, so this is retaliatory because of my attitude?
And the TSA agent says, yeah, that's pretty much it.
Oh, I love it.
That's a police state at work.
Shut up, slave!
So there you go.
Shut up!
You've got an attitude, and if you have an attitude, well, then we're just going to retaliate.
That's what we do in a police state.
Have you seen this on the evening news?
Because I think it should be on the evening news.
It should be on every news.
And the FBI now says that they are very, not just close, I guess they're ready to start implementing their $1 billion facial recognition system.
Wear a hat.
No, draw a third eye.
A third eye right in the middle of your forehead.
Underneath one of the other eyes.
Well...
I think the one, I think that, well, the hats are not allowed everywhere.
You're not, there's a lot of stores where you're not allowed to wear the hat.
But I think the third eye is just, in general, just when you get up in the morning, you should just, you know, we should have them.
We should have no agenda third eye stickers.
Just like a little sticker.
It's just a sticker.
You just plop them.
It looks just like an eyeball.
Yeah.
Alert to the artists out there.
We need to take a photo of someone's eyeball and stick them all over your face.
That would really be creepy.
It has to be a decal.
Even better, why not have it of an eyeball like Valerie Jarrett's eyeball?
That would really confuse the camera.
Yeah.
So this so there's a there was a hearing which I did not see on C-SPAN Department of Justice, but they did.
And you know how they always enter the the written written testimony.
This apparently happened July 18th.
And the title of this is what facial recognition technology means for privacy and civil liberties.
It's not very long.
It's only about five pages or so, but you really should take a look at it.
Of course, it is in the show notes, 442.nhshownotes.com.
But the key wording in this is that the FBI is integrated with public databases as well as social networks.
Here it is.
Oh, yeah.
Social G, huh?
That's a shocker to listeners to our show.
They literally say it's social networks.
Let me get you the exact language.
Here it is.
The facial recognition pilot provides a search of the national repository of photos consisting of criminal mugshots, which were taken at the time of a criminal booking.
Only criminal mugshot photos are used to populate the national repository.
Query photos and photos obtained from social networking sites...
Surveillance cameras and similar sources will be used, although they do not populate the national repository.
So instead of populating their own database, they just connect through the API. And you know Facebook has facial recognition.
They're using it now.
When you sign up to Facebook, you can say, I think you can do it with the current account.
You can say, find other pictures with my face in it.
Yeah, and they'll actually find a few.
Yeah, and a few.
A few.
I'll find a lot.
I won't find too many.
I try to avoid all those things.
So I was in Portugal a couple years ago and there was a trade show I went to and then there was another trade show next to the trade show I was at.
And the other trade show, which was the one I was more interested in, was a police trade show showing all kinds of fancy new things for the cops in Europe.
I bet they had facial recognition stuff.
And here's what's cool when you go to these trade shows.
They had a facial recognition system that the vendor was there.
And it was like, yeah.
So I chatted with him as best I could.
And I said, does this thing actually work?
He said, yeah, you can test it.
And so I got to stay on this thing for like in and out and in and out and in and out because I'm saying this can be tricked.
And so I'm going through grimacing.
I'm having you look at me with a big smile, with my glasses on upside down.
I'm doing everything I can.
And did it work?
Did you trick it?
No.
It's very disappointing.
But of course, this was a close-in thing.
It was like, you know, here you put your face here.
It looks at you.
Is it this you?
This is different than, you know, random cameras on the top of telephone poles.
But...
Because I was going in and out, I think to this day, even though I didn't spend as much time as I'd like to, even though I spent a lot of time, I think it can be tricked.
I just never could trick it.
So I'm not sure what the algorithm was.
I would just have to go through it more.
I think the third eye...
But anyway, out there who goes through these shows, go in there, find a guy, and see if you can trick it.
Well, here's an easy way.
Maybe...
So the third eye decal, I think, is still an excellent idea.
That's just being...
You get up in the morning, you put on your shoes, you put on your pants, you put on your shirt, you put on your decal.
I mean, that's just going to be a part of life.
We can try that and see if you upload a picture of you with a third eye decal if Facebook can find it.
It's the same algorithm.
I'm sure it's the same system.
Yeah.
So we should try that.
I'll try it.
You don't have a Facebook.
I have a Facebook.
I'll try it.
Oh, speaking of Portugal, John.
Portugal's tough new austerity measures have been widely criticized as an attack on workers.
The government's announced a raft of changes, including an increase in social security contributions from 11 to 18 percent, which roughly equates to one month's salary.
This newspaper kiosk owner described the move as unfair for the working classes.
So they're rolling out more austerity, a month's worth of austerity.
How about that, huh?
A month.
What does that even mean?
A month.
A month's worth of wages.
Oh, they're going to screw people out of a month's worth of wages?
Yeah, the equivalent of.
This is exactly the opposite of what they should be doing.
Oh, boy.
Please don't get into it.
I'm not going to get into it.
I'm just saying it's just the opposite of what they should be doing.
How do they expect to jumpstart the economy when you take people's money where they have nothing to spend?
How does that work?
Just explain it to me.
We're not going to buy anything.
We're going to be totally austere.
And that's going to do what?
That's going to make businesses want to open?
I don't get it.
Well, it's to shut the slaves up, isn't it?
Yeah, it's to starve them out.
Look, we're going to starve you out if you don't shut up and do as we say.
So something very interesting, and there was no audio or video of it, unfortunately, but Herman Van Rompuy, the unelected president of Europe, and Italian premier, or premier, as you wish, Monty, Super Mario Monty, They are proposing a special European summit, and listen very carefully because this is really bad what's happening, to confront the growing populism in Europe.
Quote, We are in a dangerous phase, Monty said, on the sidelines of Ambrosetti Forum at Lake Como.
He said a divisive populism is present in nearly all Eurozone countries and that it aims to divide nations at a moment when the impetus is for greater integration to help safeguard the euro currency and restore health to the EU's economy.
Now what is he saying?
He's saying that the Golden Dawn Party, the PVV in the Netherlands, the Le Pen's party in France, what he's saying is these people are Nazis and we have to stop them.
Instead of allowing democracy to prevail, And there's that word again.
They're stereotyping people who disagree with the government as populists, which is now code word for racist and Nazi.
They're saying, or far right wing, that they are populists and they have to be stopped.
And now they're going to do this at a European level.
This is a very, very dangerous situation.
This is good for the show.
It's outstanding for the show.
This is great.
But isn't that amazing?
This is identified as a trend, and it's floating around enough so that they're going to do a meeting about it.
It must be a hell of a trend that's got them scared.
Of course.
Of course.
But if you read the media, and we do this, it's always Geert Wilders, the populist politician.
It is Marie Le Pen, the populist.
It's all populist.
And populist is now becoming code.
It's code.
You're right.
Exactly code.
In fact, if we just do a quick populist.
Yeah, Google.
If I just do populist by itself, let me see what pops up.
The Wikipedia says, Populism has been viewed as a political ideology or as a type of discourse.
Generally, populists tend to claim that they side with the people against the elites.
While much of the 20th century, populism was considered to be a political phenomenon mostly affecting Latin America.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Since the 1980s, populist movements and parties have enjoyed degrees of success in established democracies such as USA, Canada, Italy, the Netherlands, and Scandinavian countries.
Academics and scholarly definitions of populism have varied widely over the past decades, and the term has often been employed in loose and consistent ways to denote appeals to the people.
Demagogy.
Is that what I say?
Demagogy?
It's demagogy.
Demagogy.
Tamagotchi.
And catch-all politics.
Hmm.
They're trying to do this equation with it.
I did Populist Europe, and I got the Green European Foundation's book, Populism in Europe, German translation now available.
The rise of the populist right and why it matters.
The rise of right-wing parties in a number of European countries.
The most recent is the True Finns.
In Finland, examples in Hungary, Sweden, France, and elsewhere, where the book acknowledges sometimes crucial differences that can't exist between these individual parties.
It's also true they share many attributes.
These include focusing their grievances on minorities, railing against the so-called elites, and always a high level of Euroscepticism.
Sounds like us.
Yeah, well, I'm looking at a report from 2010.
On our national treasure, NPR, February 5th.
And by the way, the Green Movement considers this a challenge to them personally.
No, I think they're just trying to hijack it here.
February 5th, 2010, NPR. There's been a lot of chatter about populism lately.
The populist Tea Party movement kicked off its first convention Thursday evening in Nashville.
And the Occupy's not populist?
Um, I don't know.
I don't know.
I think, well, first of all, populist, the way I've understood the use of the word, is pandering to the people.
Because that's kind of the way that Geert Wilders, they're saying, well, he's just pandering to people who hate Muslims.
Well, that's kind of politics, right?
Isn't that a democracy?
If a whole bunch of people want to change something, then the majority votes kind of get to decide.
So if you're then, because you're on the side of majority, then you're a populist.
But it's becoming code.
Populous is now becoming code for nut job, climate denier, Nazi, Holocaust denier, children killer, all of this stuff.
Yeah, that's what you do.
So you hijack the term and then you redefine it and then you start hounding people with it.
Because they don't know what they're spending all their time defending themselves against the redefinition instead of actually doing anything.
It's a great technique.
And so anyway, so they're going to have a European summit to confront growing populism, which includes all these populists.
They're going to go after these populist leaders because it's a threat.
They're literally saying here it's a threat to the greater integration of the Eurozone to help safeguard the euro currency.
It's a threat.
It's a threat to the fascist regime they've thrown together.
Of course it is.
Yeah.
It must be stopped.
Yeah.
And put up with this bull crap.
We're real best.
Alright, I have one final clip.
Well, let me do my final thing, and then yours is probably going to be lighter than mine.
Because I just think I want to introduce something new.
Alright, I have just...
Mine is really depressing.
Oh, okay.
You do yours first.
Okay.
President Obama, after the American hero...
What's his name?
We've had a few.
The American hero.
What's his name again?
Ben.
Ben.
Ben Bernanke.
Not Ben Bernanke.
Benjamin Franklin.
No, the guy from...
Ben Johnson.
He's Canadian.
No, the guy from Cincinnati who asked the president about those questions about the drones.
Oh, that guy.
You're the news reporter.
Yeah.
Yeah, that guy.
We had him on the last show.
Yeah, I can't remember his name now.
Well, we know who he is.
Go on.
Ben.
Anyway, to me, he's a real American hero.
Just stands up there to the president and says, Hey, what's up with the drone crap, man?
So, CNN... Sat down with our president and asked him all the hard questions about the drone.
About the drone program, about the kill list, and if he even pulls the trigger.
And I think we need to listen to this and deconstruct his answers.
You with me?
Go.
Ben Swan is his name.
S-W-A-N-N. Ben Swan.
American hero.
More hero than Neil Armstrong.
Here we go.
My question to you is, do you personally decide who is targeted, and what are your criteria, if you do, for the use of lethal force?
Is this a good question?
I like it.
I think it's an outstanding question.
Well, I've got to be a little careful here.
You know, they're classified issues.
Bull crap!
Right off the bat, he says they're classified.
Why is that even remotely classified?
It's just a simple question.
Why would the process of targeting the death of people be classified?
Why do we not have the right to know this?
And I would point out in 2009, the president passed an executive order where he and he alone can determine at any point in time what is and what is not classified.
He can declassify it on the fly.
He's hiding behind, and he can sit there right there and say, I'm the president, I declassify this.
But he won't answer it.
And a lot of what you read in the press that purport to be accurate aren't always accurate.
Okay, and by the way, the press lies.
You are a liar, man.
What is absolutely true is that...
When someone says what is absolutely true, that means something in NLP world.
Doesn't that mean something if someone says, instead of just saying what's true, they say what's absolutely true?
Yeah, some bogative thing.
Go on.
My first job...
My most sacred duty as President and Commander-in-Chief is to keep the American people safe.
And what that means is we've brought a whole bunch of tools to bear to go after Al-Qaeda and those who would attack Americans.
Drones are one tool that we use, and our criteria for using them is very tight and very strict.
It has to be a target that...
Is authorized by our laws.
Okay.
Authorized by our laws.
Are you writing this down, John?
I just want to make sure we get it.
Authorized by our laws.
Do we have any laws that authorize killing people?
Apparently we do.
Okay.
So it's authorized.
It has to be a threat that is serious and...
But some guy in a mud hut in the middle of nowhere in Pakistan?
That's a serious threat?
Serious threat.
And not speculative.
Oh, not speculative.
So it can be in a mud hut, but it can't just be any old mud hut.
It's got to be that mud hut.
That one.
It has to be a situation in which we can't capture the individual before they move forward on some sort of operational plot against the United States.
And this is an example of where I think there's been some misreporting.
Our preference is always to kill.
Misreporting, second time.
I'm sorry, you know, your press is bogative.
I can't tell you how we do it, but you're wrong.
Capture if we can, because we can gather intelligence.
But a lot of the time...
No, that's bullcrap, because when you captured Bin Laden, you didn't gather intelligence.
You killed him and dumped him in the sea.
This is bullcrap.
The terrorist networks that target the United States, the most dangerous ones, operate in very remote regions, and it's very difficult to capture them.
Okay.
I just have to stop at the mind control.
Why are the most dangerous people to the entire United States, why are they in the most remote regions of the world, and how is that danger apparent?
I'm asking you a question.
I am clueless as to why they have to be blowing up mud huts in the middle of nowhere.
I mean, I can assume that they have people on a big list, like they said, and that Obama goes over, and it's like that crazy list that doesn't list people that should be on and has other people on there we've never heard of.
And we know that they're living in a mud hut, and so we decided to blow them up.
Maybe it's just for target practice.
I believe that this is part of the psychological warfare.
When the president sits there and says, the biggest threat to the United States is people in mud huts in some of the most remote regions of the world.
It's like, honey, I'm really worried about the scorpions in Corpus Christi.
Because those are the ones that are going to come all the way from Corpus Christi and sit in your bed and bite you.
It's just lunacy.
And we've got to make sure that in whatever operations we conduct, we are very careful about avoiding civilian casualties.
In fact, there are a whole bunch of situations where we will not engage in operations if we think there's going to be civilian casualties involved.
I love the words avoid and a whole bunch.
It's not every single one, but there's a whole bunch who are like, we might kill some civilians, so let's avoid that.
Avoidance is not stopping something.
So, we have an extensive process with a lot of checks, a lot of eyes looking at it.
Who?
What?
Which eyes?
Who?
Mr.
President, who?
Who?
Is this just a group of dudes?
Obviously, as president, ultimately, I'm responsible for decisions that are made by the administration.
But I think what the American people need to know is...
Uh-oh.
Perk up, everybody.
Here's what you need to know.
You don't need to know any real truth or any information.
Here's what you need to know.
The seriousness with which we take both the responsibility to keep them safe, but also the seriousness with which we take the need for us to abide by Our traditions of rule of law.
Oh, I'm sorry.
John, our traditions of rule of law.
That doesn't sound exactly like what he said in the beginning.
Like it has to adhere to our laws.
Now it's just the tradition.
Yeah, we have a tradition.
Traditions are traditions.
It's a tradition.
All right.
And due process.
Oh, due process.
Tradition of due process.
It's a tradition.
Nowadays, eh, it's an old-fashioned idea.
It's like, you know, we used to have a real turkey at Thanksgiving.
Now we just get one from the store.
Traditionally, we traditionally eat turkey at Thanksgiving.
What are we having?
Yeah.
Goose?
Having goose?
Yeah.
Sir, do you personally approve the targets?
Very good question.
Do you personally approve the targets?
Which is the same question as the first question, but okay.
I can't get too deeply into how these things work.
You, Mr.
President, are a fucking pussy!
Sorry, that made me angry.
And by the way, it was interesting during the convention how often they had to keep talking about what a great backbone he had.
I'm sorry, I just got really angry there.
If you're going to kill people, at least have the balls to say it.
Say yeah.
I'm the one who makes the fuck stops here.
If somebody gets killed by a drone, I signed off on it.
I signed off.
He's a pussy.
Yeah, that's pretty wimpy.
But as I said, as Commander-in-Chief, ultimately...
Maybe he's not the one to sign.
Maybe Hillary's the one.
Well, here he says, as Commander-in-Chief, ultimately...
You know, I'm responsible for the process that we've set up to make sure...
What's the process?
And what's the process?
...that folks who are out to kill Americans, that we are able to disable them.
The guy in the mud hut in Pakistan.
That's the folks.
...before they carry out those plots.
Are the standards different?
Before they carry out those plots, the pre-crime.
Is it different when the target's an American?
Very good question.
So, is it different when the target is an American?
Okay.
I think there's no doubt that when an American...
That has made a decision to affiliate itself with Al-Qaeda and target fellow Americans.
That there is a legal justification for us to try to stop them from carrying out plots.
Ah!
Let me get this right.
If an American decides to affiliate themselves with Al-Qaeda...
Al-Awlaki wasn't affiliated with Al-Qaeda that I know of, was he?
But what does that even mean?
Does that mean that you sign a contract?
I don't know what it means.
It doesn't mean anything.
It's just bullshit.
You wear the decoder ring?
What is also true, though, is an American citizen, they are subject to the protections of the Constitution and due process.
LAUGHTER So there's two things true.
One is we're going to kill you, but you do have the right to due process under the Constitution.
Yeah, and tell it to the drone.
Finally on this topic, even Brennan said that some in government struggle with this.
Do you struggle with this policy?
Oh, absolutely.
Look, I think that...
Look, look, look, look.
I struggle.
I'm pained.
I'm pained.
A president who doesn't struggle with issues of war and peace.
And killing people.
Fighting terrorism.
Terror.
And the difficulties of...
Dealing with an opponent that has no rules.
Oh, get him a prompter.
He's so slow talking.
That's something that you have to struggle with.
Like a filibuster.
If you don't, then...
All right.
So the guy is a huge, huge lying pussy.
And he won't tell us what the process is.
And I'm sorry.
I mean, I appreciate that CNN even asked these questions.
But I mean, at this point, you've just got to interrupt him and say, I'm sorry.
First of all, Mr.
President, you're a huge pussy.
What's he going to do?
Punch you in the mouth?
Arrest you?
I mean, you're going to go to jail for saying that?
No, but you're probably going to be audited for the rest of your life and probably beaten up in an alley every so often.
Oh, well, there's that.
I mean, if they're going to drone Americans, they can easily beat you up.
Now, so shut up.
Oh, really?
Pussy, huh?
I'll show you what a pussy does.
Yeah, yeah.
And then he walks off the stage.
Next thing you know, two goons come in and just whoop this woman over.
Oh, yeah.
I'll show you pussy, biatch.
So anyway, on this eve of 9-11, I want to wrap up this particular piece of heinous, heinous language and talk and cron job.
By just running down the sequences after 9-11...
Who got blamed for the attacks?
Because in December of 2011, in case you didn't know, a default judgment was held against Iran for being involved in the September 11th attack.
So Iran is partially to blame, according to the American government, for 9-11.
Of course, on the other hand, the 9-11 commissioner and co-chair of the congressional inquiry to 9-11 both say in sworn declarations that the Saudi Arabian government is linked to the 9-11 attacks.
Of course, after 9-11, President Bush and Vice President Cheney and douchebag Roosevelt, of course, accused Iraq and subsequently attacked Iraq for their hand in 9-11.
Now, you must not forget, of course, that Afghanistan, of course, is the country that was linked to 9-11 through Osama bin Laden, who, of course, was captured in Pakistan.
So I just want everyone to understand that we have absolutely no freaking clue who was responsible and your government is mind controlling you into oblivion with confusing bullcrap language.
Happy 9-11, everybody.
Happy 9-11?
When is 9-11?
Is that coming up?
Yes, Tuesday.
It's on Tuesday.
Well, we don't have a show on Tuesday.
Oh, okay.
I didn't realize.
Okay, well, I'm glad you reminded me.
All right, well, screw you and this crazy 9-11 condolences.
I think we should just stop celebrating it.
Why are we celebrating it at all?
Because the president told us to celebrate.
You didn't hear that?
My finishing thing, which has got nothing to do with any of this, is just something I've been watching and I'm trying to follow, and we need to follow something new.
What is going on in Syria?
Why have we bailed out?
Why was Hillary at APEC when she could have been at this minister's meeting that no one has told us about, that nobody talks about in our media, on Syria, where we're not even apparently at the table?
The 27 European Union foreign ministers who've been meeting in Cyprus have agreed to step up sanctions against the regime of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
They also resolved to boost the EU's aid contribution to people displaced by the Syrian crisis by a further 50 million euros to currently a total of 200 million.
Meanwhile...
Oh, very interesting.
And it was held in Cyprus, no less?
Yeah.
Oh, interesting.
Well, of course, because Europe is the one that has the most to lose if the Russians continue to have control over the distribution through Syria.
This is where it gets interesting.
Okay.
Because perhaps our deals with the Russians have been changing.
Remember when Hillary was going to be in Vladivostok and then we equated that with the APEC thing?
Yeah.
Well, apparently she did do a meeting, and check this one out.
This is the Antarctica Agreement that was made between us and the Russians.
And let me mention before you play the clip, there's a huge debate going on right now about the British Antarctic Territory, which now a whole bunch of Europeans are getting in on, and they're all trying to chime in that we own this part because it's believed there's a bunch of oil under Antarctica.
And now we have to do a deal with the Russians because we're getting screwed out of that, too.
To strengthen bilateral scientific cooperation in the Antarctic and also around the Bering Strait, which connects both countries.
Clinton and Lavrov signed the documents in Vladivostok on the sidelines of the APEC leaders' meeting.
Lavrov says Russia and the U.S. should continue their cooperation to inspect foreign stations, installations, and equipment in Antarctica pursuant to the Antarctic Treaty of 1959 and its environmental protocol.
So the Antarctic Treaty of 50, and by the way, that was a bad clip from the source, not me.
Yeah, okay.
So they're going to do inspections of foreign operations in Antarctica, the joint venture between the United States and Russia.
Yep.
And then there's also something with the Bering Straits, because the Russians are claiming an Arctic seabed adventure, that they're doing a joint venture with one of our oil companies up there, which is becoming a big deal.
There's a bunch of stuff that's going to hit the fan shortly, and it's going to involve Antarctica.
Put it in the book.
Well, no, that's been going on for a while, and we know that Clinton went up there a couple months ago.
She was up there already.
Well, it's apparently causing a rift between us and the UK that is not really being discussed much.
Well, you know the Russians, they planted a flag under the ice in Antarctica.
That's how they claimed it.
They went there with a sub, and they put a flag under the ice and said, this is ours, bitches.
This is ours.
We're here.
This is Ruski territory.
And that's part of the whole dispute.
And of course we have Alaska up there.
So I don't know what's going to happen, but anyone who underestimates Vladimir Putin is very, very foolish.
Yeah, I'd say.
And if he's in bed with Hillary...
Oh my God, that's a visual I didn't need.
In more ways than one.
Wow, wow.
So that's something that we've got to keep an eye on, and I think we'll probably be the only people covering it from that perspective.
I don't put it past her or him.
I think it's a very distinct possibility.
You know, we've got all kinds of weird things going on.
We have this, you know, this Glencore Extrata merger is still not on.
You know, there's like, you know what I'm talking about, right?
The big merger.
Yeah, you've talked about it all the time.
No, I haven't talked about it in quite a while, actually.
A year ago, you were talking about it all the time.
Yeah.
Even Tony Blair is trying to get all the shareholders lined up.
And there's some really, really big moves happening.
And meanwhile, what are we doing?
We're watching Honey Boo Boo.
Here comes Honey Boo Boo.
That's the name of the show.
So let's play one last thing then.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Socialism in Asia, clip from France VanCat, which was a discussion of all the different covers, and it's talking about an article in The New Economist, and I thought there was a couple of zingers in this thing that were just like, why are we being propagandized with this bullcrap?
Alright, and there's an eye-catching cover on The Economist this week as well.
Yes, normally the domain of politicians and public figures, we've got babies on the front of The Economist.
An in-depth look at the reinvention of the welfare state across Asia.
It's a really intriguing article, in fact, because it says that...
As Asia's become more affluent, citizens are wanting the governments to do more, provide better healthcare, more pensions, welfare state, basically.
And it also looks at the incredible speed at which these are being developed.
For example, it says that in rural China, two years ago, 80% of people didn't have access to health insurance.
Now everyone does.
Compare that to perhaps welfare states in Europe that took half a century to create health.
So, very fast developments happening in Asia looked at by The Economist.
All right, well...
Health insurance?
In rural China?
Really?
They didn't have access to health insurance in rural China?
Really?
That's where we're going with this?
Yeah, I guess.
I guess.
I guess that's where it's going.
Yeah, I gotta find the best insurance company to invest in.
Yeah.
Meanwhile, we're gonna get...
Miss Mickey's on the verge of getting kicked out of her insurance.
Oh, that stinks.
Yeah, because, you know, she has some actual stuff and they're like, you're going to the chiropractor too often.
You gotta pay for it yourself when we investigate.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's your future.
Oh, yeah.
Well, no, I told her to get used to me doing the chiropractic stuff.
That's what I told her.
Hey, honey.
Hey, yo.
You don't need that guy.
I can do it.
Watch this.
Wow.
Hey.
Yeah.
Alright, so we do have a lot of stuff coming up.
According to the true conspiracy theorists, we should have a false flag event at the closing ceremonies of the Paralympics tonight.
It being 9-9, the 11th year of 9-11.
9-9 equals 3,045.
9 times 9 is 33 somehow.
So you can watch out for that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
I'm holding my breath on that one.
Yeah, no, I didn't bring it up, but I just wanted to say it just in case it happens.
I can say, see?
Insurance!
Insurance, yeah.
It's my own version of insurance.
No Agenda Producer Update is coming up on the stream right after the program, so make sure you catch that.
And we're going to enjoy our 78 degree weather here during the climate apocalypse of 2012.
And that's all happening here on my side in Camp Mofo, the capital of the Drone Star State, Austin, Texas.
Good morning, everybody.
I'm Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley, where Google has become a wine store, I'm John C. Dvorak.
We'll be back on Thursday right here on No Agenda.
Who'd pay for that?
I got Dish and I see games every week.
DirecTV's a bunch of cons.
Con job.
Dirty cons!
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