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April 29, 2012 - No Agenda

02:29:30

404: Spy in a Bag

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	Curry just gave me a good stock tip.
	This is great.
	This thing's positioned to go up.
	I'm going to make a killing.
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	And Sunday, April 29, 2012.
	It is time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 404.
	This is no agenda.
	Reading the CISPA amendments so you don't have to here at Camp Mofo in the capital of the Drone Star State, Austin Tejas.
	In the morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where it's a nice enough day to do a show, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Craig Vaughn and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	Yay!
	Well, we finally got underway here.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
	I'm sorry.
	There was so much to do, and I'm so excited...
	You're excited.
	Yes, because I've been inventing and we're going to be rich.
	Oh, great.
	Yeah.
	While you're excited, I'm saddened.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	What's wrong?
	What's wrong, John?
	Well, apparently this was actually a highlighted obit in the New York Times.
	It came out on Thursday.
	I think it was Thursday.
	Pete Fornatel?
	No, Saturday.
	Yesterday's paper.
	Pete Fornatel?
	No, no, no.
	William Pace.
	He died at the age of 103.
	He is the record setter for a person who lived with a bullet in his head.
	Oh.
	He holds the Guinness World Record for living the longest with a bullet in his head.
	Oh.
	In fact, it was 94 years with the bullet in his head.
	Really?
	He died in 103.
	Really?
	In his sleep.
	Did he pick this thing up in the Civil War?
	When did it happen?
	Well, apparently some time back.
	Yeah.
	And you've been following his career?
	Is that why you're so sad?
	I've been aware of a guy, people living with bullets in their head.
	Such as?
	Name three.
	Hillary Rosen.
	She has a bullet in her head?
	No.
	Okay.
	Right.
	Well, while you are saddened by that, I was saddened by Pete Fornatel's passing.
	Famous disco jockey in New York.
	Huh.
	You know Pete Fornatel?
	W-N-E-W. Pete Fornatel here, where rock lives.
	Only 66.
	And this New York Times...
	So I've known Pete Fornatel for a long time.
	He was doing radio, FM radio in the first days, you know, when you'd play like an entire album side.
	Right, those are days are over.
	Yeah, I was like, and now we'll play the entire Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd.
	So there's this whole thing about him, his career, about FM radio.
	And he's dead at 66, but they don't say what he died of, not even a hint.
	Well, did you look it up on some other...
	Somebody must have something to say.
	I expect the paper of record to do that.
	That was just another small annoyance with the news media.
	It's the only thing people really want to know, right?
	When someone dies, you always want to know, how did he die?
	Was he hit by a truck?
	No mention of an illness or anything.
	Maybe he had a bullet in his head.
	I don't know.
	He's not the record holder.
	Usually you live a lot longer.
	Okay.
	In the morning to you, John.
	In the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	In the morning to all ships at sea.
	In the morning to all boots on the ground.
	And in the morning to all feet in the air.
	Dan, of course, all of the producers under the seas in their ships are submariners, and we have a plenty listening to the program.
	Everyone in the chat room, the human resources, all charged up, ready to go there at noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net.
	It is time once again for the best podcast in the universe.
	I wonder if our submariner actually shares the show with any of his bunkmates.
	You know, I have a vision.
	I haven't been on a submarine in a long time, but I have a vision like, you know, he's in his wife beater with grease stains and he's there with a wrench.
	Ding, ding, ding.
	Taking time out.
	Just listen to this show.
	Chilling, smoking a rolled up cigarette there in the back.
	Putting his ear against the side.
	Against the hull.
	Against the hull.
	Yeah.
	Bing!
	Bing!
	Tubes are ready, sir!
	Yeah.
	Listening to us.
	Well, who knows?
	I'm so excited, John.
	I am so, so, so incredibly excited.
	And I have invented something.
	Oh.
	And I'm going to share the patent with you.
	Are you going to patent it?
	I'm going to.
	Not only am I going to patent it, I am naming you a co-creator on the patent.
	Oh, good.
	I could use the money.
	Well, then we have to go and sell it, of course.
	Sometimes these things sell themselves.
	I think I've got a win.
	It's not a mousetrap, though, right?
	It's a better mousetrap.
	It is literally a better mousetrap.
	You inspire...
	I'm just going to explain your grogginess this morning.
	No, no.
	The grogginess is from something else.
	I'll talk about that later.
	I always say buy high-quality spirits, but go on.
	Okay.
	So, you know, your slide whistle has, not only has it enlightened the hearts of millions with your expertise and your...
	It is so good.
	I decided that it is, you know, because I've been practicing and, you know...
	A slide whistle app?
	No, no, no, not quite.
	I have the first...
	As far as I know, because I've Googled it everywhere, I can't find it.
	I think we have prior art here, without a doubt.
	A slide whistle tuning fork.
	Close.
	No, I have a MIDI slide whistle.
	Ooh, there is no MIDI slide whistle?
	No.
	And let me demonstrate.
	I have hooked it up to the French horn.
	One moment.
	How about that, huh?
	It was the French horn.
	I never heard the slide whistle.
	No, because I'm blowing the slide whistle, but I have to close my microphone so you don't hear the slide whistle.
	Oh, you're blowing the slide whistle and the French horn is coming out?
	Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
	Wait a minute.
	I'll leave the mic open so you can hear both.
	Hold on.
	How cool is that?
	I'll give you a 10 on that.
	That is extremely cool.
	Hold on a second.
	Let me change it to an orchestra.
	Hold on.
	Actually, I also think that saxophone section MIDI thing would be pretty good with this thing.
	Okay, check this out.
	Come on, man.
	Slight whistle to MIDI. So how do you have it rigged up?
	I mean, what is the mechanics there?
	Hold on, let me just get the saxophone and then I'll quit.
	Hold on.
	You wanted a saxophone?
	I want the brass section one.
	I don't know what the number is, but it's one of them.
	Sounds like jazz sax to me. . . . you Dude, I'm telling you, we're going to be billionaires.
	Well, the slide whistle guy should definitely give us something.
	We are going to be billionaires, John.
	No one has thought of this.
	And the only thing that doesn't sound...
	Because I've got to do the polymorphic thing so that we can do electric guitar.
	I can just imagine you and me on stage and we're like, oh, with the slide whistles.
	And then there's this jamming, like, amazing, like, slash guitar sound coming out.
	Funny.
	Funny.
	There you go.
	So that's why I'm so excited, and we're going to be rich, I tell you.
	Yeah, well...
	Leave your wife rich, my friend.
	Rich beyond your wildest dreams.
	And we'll call it the Syntheslider.
	Ooh.
	Thank you.
	The chat room gave me a little help there.
	The Syntheslider.
	Who was that small donor?
	Good one.
	Write it down.
	The Syntheslider.
	Yeah.
	So all we have to do, so right now I'm doing audio to MIDI, which is very complicated.
	It's not an easy thing to do.
	Well, you might have a bunch of patents as stepping stone patents to get to the patent of the patent.
	That's okay.
	We'll share it with whoever else helped us out there along the way.
	But come on, man.
	You've never seen...
	I mean, can you just imagine?
	No.
	As far as I'm concerned, you've done not only me a service, but you've done the world a service.
	Because if you think about it, there is something compelling.
	Anyone can play the slide with it.
	Exactly.
	That's my point.
	That's my point.
	Because it's like whistling.
	Yeah.
	Yes, exactly.
	Exactly.
	I'm so happy.
	This is going to kick ass.
	I mean, order the G5. I'm telling you.
	We're going to be...
	Andre Rio, watch out, bitch.
	We're coming for your lunch.
	Oh, yeah.
	I also did some other stuff.
	Oh, did you work on the show, maybe?
	Yeah, I worked quite a bit on the show.
	Shall I give you a little bit of happy news first, and explain to you why I'm so happy to live in the drone star state, what an awesome state this is, and how we are not slaves.
	Would you like to hear about that, you up there in California, yay?
	Go on.
	So you'll recall three, two weeks ago, we had a report that Sheila Jackson Lee, Le Douche Baguette Extraordinaire du Terrasse, had implemented something called Bus Safe.
	And Bus Safe was supposed to be air marshals for the bus.
	So, in fact, let me just play that previous report, because I went back and listened to it just to hear how egregious it really was.
	But a new program is placing undercover officers on that bus, kind of like air marshals on a plane.
	Local 2 investigator Joel Eisenbaum has much more now from onboard a Metro bus.
	Tens of thousands of people in Houston rely on these buses every day to get them where they're going safely.
	This new program is designed to maximize that safety, but does it come at a cost?
	We have covered a series of crimes over the years that have happened on Metro buses and at Metro bus stops.
	Sexual assaults are especially scary.
	Well, a new initiative called Bus Safe aims to make the Metro bus riding experience safer.
	Today we announce that if you think you're going to be a bad actor on buses, get ready.
	You're going to have a short-lived time frame.
	This is a national pilot program which puts undercover officers on Metro buses sniffing out trouble before it happens.
	Alright, so that was a portion of the report, and of course you and I both said, why do people put up with this Sheila Jackson Lee, and is this Texas that I'm living in?
	What's going on?
	Well, I am very happy to report that the slaves of Texas are not having any of this.
	As witnessed and documented here.
	Two weeks after Metro made a big deal about bringing TSA to Houston bus stops for a counter-terrorism exercise.
	We are here to loudly condemn Metro's recent violations of the United States Constitution.
	Dozens of angry citizens came to tell Metro, keep TSA away.
	Our greatest right is the right to be left alone.
	You've gone one step too far by bringing the TSA into our house.
	In my opinion, the Metro board doesn't get it.
	On April 13th, the Metro Police Department invited TSA to be part of its bus-safe exercise, first time it had ever done one.
	Metro said then, and repeated for days afterwards, there were random searches of bus and train passengers' bags.
	Get inside my bags, my personal honor.
	I'm not going to let you get in my bag unless you have a warrant.
	Now, do you hear that?
	That is a Texas citizen right there.
	I'm not going to let you in my bag unless you've got a warrant, mofo!
	After an uproar over the searches, Metro says they never did any random bag searches, never intended to, that the official Metro blog saying so was just a mistake.
	Oh, lies!
	It was just a mistake, yeah!
	What about all these bad actors?
	Attention to the bag searches.
	But for metric writer Derek Brose, it's not enough.
	I don't feel like by purchasing a ticket or riding the bus that I have to forfeit my constitutional rights and my protections and be subject to search or seizure.
	A friend of Brose's took these pictures of the bus safe exercise back on the 13th.
	He says they show TSA agents and Metro Police asking riders where they're going as they get off the bus and how often they ride that route.
	Metro and TSA were going onto the buses and questioning people about their normal routes and normal behaviors, and it just kind of creates an atmosphere of fear.
	There aren't any photos of searches.
	After today's showdown, the Metro chairman says it will stay that way so long as he is chairman.
	It's not going to happen while I'm chair.
	Yeah, it's not going to happen.
	Putting in place random searches and seizures.
	We're going to get to the bottom of this and we'll have a lot more dialogue.
	The Metro Police Chief told us in an interview last week he hoped to repeat the bus safe exercise within the next few weeks, but made no such promise today.
	Ha ha ha!
	Ha ha ha!
	A small, insignificant perhaps, but still a win for the slaves of Texas.
	Yeah.
	That was a good one.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	When is it going to result in them voting out that idiot Sheila Jackson?
	She's next on the list.
	She's next on the list.
	Oh, my goodness.
	We definitely have to get rid of her.
	I don't know.
	I didn't even know how she got in.
	But I'm very, very proud to be a Texan.
	Yeehaw!
	You have your Texas driver's license?
	I sure do.
	That's all you need to be.
	They literally say in the brochure...
	Is your cell phone a Texas area code?
	The only rules for being a Texan is, and it literally says in the pamphlet, how to become a Texan.
	You just have to get your driver's license.
	It says that, how to become a Texan.
	And then when you get your driver's license, they say, congratulations, welcome to the great state of Texas.
	That's how it works here.
	Please do not pay any taxes.
	That's how it works here.
	Enjoy California.
	Well, anyway, maybe we should think a few before I get totally depressed.
	While you process that?
	Yeah, sure.
	Did anyone come in and support us?
	Because we, I guess, we determined that not this show, not the previous show, but the show before it must have sucked because donations were off the cliff.
	Yeah, well, the last show must have been good then because we at least got back to our normal donation schedule.
	Good.
	Starting with a big one, actually.
	S. Russell Williams in Boise gave $748.14.
	Why?
	Because it clears out my PayPal account, he says.
	Yay!
	Which I want to remind people that they should think about that.
	Also because when I look at the hour for Al, you...
	Hour for hour value proposition.
	I realize you're getting close or already past the 1,000 hour mark.
	We have to do that calculation, by the way.
	Yeah, we should.
	It shouldn't be that difficult to do if we looked at all the MP3 files and then did a back calculation on what the rate was.
	Yeah, because we've kept consistent 96 kilobit bit rate, so you can definitely calculate it.
	Yeah.
	Hey, I'll get right on that, okay?
	Yeah, I'm hoping you do.
	After the patents filed.
	And since I've been a listener since day one and it was high time I got current, if you haven't yet passed the hour 1,000, I guess I just gave you your next promotional idea.
	There you go.
	Yeah.
	Also needs some getting laid karma.
	And by the way, we got a note from somebody.
	Yeah.
	One of our producers.
	He says this is a bad idea, right?
	Yeah.
	He says that he's noticed that when he gets laid, he doesn't listen to the show so much.
	He says the show is kind of for depression.
	For depressives who aren't getting any.
	I'm thinking, what?
	This isn't good.
	No!
	So wait a minute.
	So you request your getting laid karma with a Swanson Neuf donation, then you get it, and then you go away.
	No, this is a very bad trend.
	So we have to rethink about how to do this.
	Maybe we should put a dollar limit, high dollar limit on it.
	House limits.
	House limits.
	So he says, to add posting dyslexic and drunk, so looking forward to John figuring out how John to read this.
	Excellent.
	Let me give that karma.
	That was great.
	Thank you so much.
	You've got karma.
	And Russell will be knighted today as a Knight of the No Agenda Roundtable for this outstanding contribution to the support of the program.
	We appreciate that.
	Moise Khan.
	Oh, our buddy.
	Yeah, our buddy, $420, Trifecta 420, executive producer 420-404 is a bonus.
	Knighted, you guys rock.
	Oh, he's the sir.
	Did he get knighted?
	I think so.
	I think, let me see, doesn't he get knighted today?
	Someone does.
	Hmm.
	I don't know, maybe JC's listening.
	Yeah, Busco Jr., check that.
	I have a feeling that Moyes has...
	I think he may have been knighted.
	Oh, well, we'll figure it out.
	He's always in contact with us.
	Yeah.
	He's one of our...
	Well, he's in Canada.
	Have you been practicing?
	You got the note from him about the pronunciation of the location of Osama Bin Laden's compound?
	He says that we keep mispronouncing it, but he didn't send me a note that had the pronunciation more accurate.
	Oh, no, no.
	He sent a YouTube video.
	You didn't see that?
	Oh, I didn't...
	Hold on a second.
	I come to you from the depths of...
	The country to talk to you about the pronunciation that is being mispronounced on the American media throughout the country.
	This interested me, because whenever we have an opportunity to pronounce something properly, we want to do it, right?
	So this is good.
	Absolutely.
	So how have we always pronounced this town?
	Abbottabad.
	Abbottabad.
	This is incorrect!
	I want to know what this Abbottabad is.
	My but is fine, but it has nothing to do with Abbott.
	I would like to encourage you to take upon you the pronunciation of Abbottabad.
	Watch my lips closely.
	Okay.
	Watch how the syllables roll from my tongue like pomegranates at the time of harvest.
	Abbottabad.
	Abbottabad.
	Not Abbottabad.
	Abbottabad.
	Abbottabad.
	I don't know where this is coming from.
	Case in point, the British officer's name was Abbottabad.
	See, this is helpful.
	It's very hard because you look at it and I guess our minds say...
	Everybody's pronouncing it Abadabad, but it's incorrect.
	Abadabad.
	Not Abadabad.
	Abadabad.
	Abadabad.
	From now on, official pronunciation is Abadabad.
	And let me point out, when you are at a cocktail party, this is like seven minutes of entertainment.
	You can say excuse me.
	Oh, now I'm starting to see the not getting laid thing.
	Yeah, when you're at a cocktail party and some hot blonde says Abbottabad, you come up to her and correct her.
	It's not about your butt, honey, although it's quite cute, but it's Abbottabad.
	That's the correct pronunciation because when I was driving the drones, we knew how to pronounce it.
	It's Abbottabad.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I've been CIA for a while.
	That's how you do it.
	Well, that might help.
	Bing!
	You're in the pocket, baby.
	Abbottabad.
	So from now on, Abbottabad.
	Okay, Abbottabad.
	Thank you, Moyes.
	Hopefully it won't come up in the conversation much.
	Ever again.
	We're having enough trouble with ear rock and ear bond.
	Well, it's important that we do that.
	No, it is.
	We have to do it right.
	We have to be better.
	We might as well be better than the douchebag media.
	I mean, come on, right?
	Okay, so he's the guy who tried to get some shots of the compound when he was floating around Pakistan.
	Yeah, but then they destroyed it before he could...
	They flattened it.
	They flattened it.
	I think he had a spray can.
	He was going to spray paint no agenda on the wall.
	And they saw him coming.
	Yeah.
	Bring it down.
	He said, no agenda, guys.
	$404 from Astrid Klein.
	Dame Astrid from Tokyo.
	She came in.
	That's nice.
	She's getting toward Baroness.
	Yeah, you know what?
	Look why she came in.
	To keep you doing what you're doing best at, whether it be No Agenda DH or DSC, seems getting hammered, improves Adam's life after reading hundreds of legislation pages.
	What gets you going?
	What gets you going, John?
	Some secret ingredient in your cooking?
	Now some Tokyo.
	So I did a daily source code Thursday night.
	Did you hear about this?
	Yeah, I did hear about it.
	It was fantastic.
	I got really drunk with Nicki, watching an American Idol.
	I can't watch that.
	She watches that.
	And I'm watching it.
	She had recorded it.
	And I see Queen, or what's left of Queen.
	I really miss Freddie Mercury.
	I see Brian May and Roger Taylor.
	And then I see these douche knuckles performing a Queen song, which is cut to 50 seconds.
	And I'm just like, this is ruining everything.
	This is horrible.
	It's horrible.
	Oh, it made me so mad.
	My life is ruined!
	It is!
	And I just hopped on the stream and I was so drunk.
	And Mickey just kept bringing me drinks.
	She's like, yeah, this is good.
	This is good.
	Here, have some more.
	Well, you didn't sound drunk.
	I did listen to the beginning.
	Oh, you heard some of it.
	Okay.
	I listened to the beginning.
	I mean, I'm a big Queen fan, so after you start about halfway through the first song, that was it.
	You're like, where's the Green Day and where's my Maroon 5, man?
	We're something newer.
	Something that's in this decade.
	So anyway, but you didn't sound hammered.
	I was extremely drunk.
	Oh, well then you can broadcast drunk.
	I'm drunk right now.
	Hey!
	There we go.
	Thanks for the setup.
	Good one.
	Thanks, Daymaster.
	Does she need a karma?
	Give her one.
	She might as well have the karma.
	She deserves it.
	The next building.
	Hell yeah.
	You've got karma.
	Miss Mickey and I want to go to Tokyo.
	You should.
	And we are planning on staying with them.
	Good.
	Oh yeah.
	They don't know it yet.
	Well, they do now.
	Well, they do now.
	It's like, we need a place to crash.
	William Bowman in Port...
	I don't have this whole thing on my screen.
	Port something.
	See if I can get this expanded and get this news.
	Port Hunim 269.
	He must have sent a note in.
	Let me look at my email later.
	We'll do it at the break.
	Sean Zinsmeister in Malden, Massachusetts, Nuts.
	225.
	Hey, Citizens.
	Oh, by the way, William Bowman did 269.69.
	But that's not part of it.
	That doesn't keep the string going.
	Oh, okay.
	Hey, Citizens, I donated about a month ago, according to Sean, a month and a half back for some new job after getting laid off my last startup.
	I worked a month after my donation.
	I landed a great new job at another, this time revenue-positive startup.
	Really?
	That has no chance of success.
	It'll never work.
	And from Gitmo Nation Down Under, I wanted to repay the debt by making you a more sizable donation, 225, and keep the karma wheel turning with a Hey Citizen Huntsman Karma shot.
	Hail the foot!
	Alright, let's do this one.
	Hey Citizen.
	You've got karma.
	Right on.
	Thanks for supporting the show, my friend.
	And finally, $202, Christina Caldwell in Adelaide, South Australia.
	After being a long-time listener and douchebag, it is time to turn this around.
	Whilst my husband believes our money could be spent on better things.
	Here we go again.
	To me, this is a good sign that the women are coming in.
	The women are coming in and the husbands are the stick in the mud.
	Well, the women are the ones that control the purse strings.
	Let's be honest about it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's what we should do.
	Well, whilst my husband believes our money could be spent on better things like a house or saving for the future.
	Yeah, enjoy the doorknob.
	I believe the best investment in our future is some no-agenda karma.
	I would like some karma for my husband as he fights to keep his job due to medical reasons.
	Oh, that's sweet.
	That is the gift that keeps on giving real love right there.
	You've got karma.
	That's our executive producers for show 404, which is also an error message.
	We do have a 404 club member, which of course is Dame Astrid.
	We remind people to go to NoAgendaShow.com, NoAgendaNation.com, Dvorak.org slash NA, or ChannelDvorak.com slash NA in an emergency to help us continue our efforts and help us on show 405 coming up this Thursday.
	Dvorak.org.
	Well, in the...
	I'm sorry?
	I said I will be in business.
	Yes.
	In the PR department, I'm going to send you a link right now.
	Hold on a second.
	I got an email late last night, and I want you to take a look at this link that I'm now sending you.
	This is from...
	Oh, is your email back up?
	Can you get your email?
	I think, yeah, I can get the email, but I can't, I think, but I can't attach anything.
	No, no, you don't have to attach anything.
	I got a note from Brandon.
	In the morning, I live in Austin.
	I've got a trailer which you are welcome to use.
	I purchased it brand new less than a year ago.
	As I said, I live here in Austin and I use it when I travel for work.
	If you're interested, let me know what calendar range you're looking at.
	I want you to take a look at this thing.
	Okay, I'm going.
	I got it to be all.
	Here it is.
	Look at this thing.
	This is a 32-foot...
	This is a monster.
	...high country cougar.
	Yeah, this is the one that's got the throw-out things.
	You could park this somewhere and move it and move there.
	This is three slide-outs.
	It's got pop-up TVs.
	You've got a sofa.
	You've got a refur.
	You've got a diner sofa.
	Yeah.
	Queen bed.
	We've got a walk-around kitchen.
	I mean, I can...
	I was literally tears rolling down my cheeks last night.
	I mean, look at this.
	This is a new one?
	It's a one-year-old, so it's the 2011, and it takes a normal...
	It's a 35-footer.
	No, I think it's 32.
	No, it is.
	It's 35.
	It's 35 feet.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, you could take a little longer than your normal tour with this baby.
	How beautiful is this?
	And what a beautiful offer.
	So when does he use it?
	Well, he uses it for work, he says.
	I haven't heard back.
	I emailed him back last night.
	Oh, it's like one of those things where it's like a job construction site thing where you park it somewhere.
	Maybe he's an arms dealer.
	I don't know.
	Frankly, I don't care.
	He's a no-agenda producer.
	This thing is in Austin, can you believe it?
	It has a normal trailer hitch.
	He emailed me a picture of his truck.
	He's got a pickup truck in front of it, so that should be able to tow it, no problem.
	I mean, I'm not quite sure about parallel parking.
	What you're going to do is you're going to find a place to put it Yeah, and then detach and then go visit.
	You've got to detach and drive around.
	You're not parallel parking this thing ever.
	In fact, I'm a little afraid of it, if you look at it.
	It's a little frightening.
	Let me give the chat room the link so they can see it.
	You get used to driving these things.
	Now, I presume that I can...
	You're not going to be gunning it around town, let's put it that way.
	No, but you think I can make it up the Rockies in this thing?
	No.
	Well, it's the truck, not the trailer.
	I understand, but I mean, it's 7,000 pounds.
	Yeah, plus another 1,000 will be in it.
	Wait a minute.
	I told Miss Mickey not to pack so much clothing this time.
	It won't be all that bad.
	But anyway, so details haven't been finalized, but it will be Baron Von Brandon if we work this thing out.
	He will have the entire state of Texas as his responsibility, as his barony, and I have to say we're very, very excited about this.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	Isn't that awesome?
	Yeah, it's definitely comfortable.
	So, 2009 will be on.
	It will be on.
	Very, very, very excited about that.
	So, we'll have an update on Thursday.
	And of course, the problem going up and down the rock is you might be able to get up, but then getting down is really problematic.
	Why?
	Because going down is harder than going up.
	Well, just go backwards.
	He might be going backwards on the way up.
	I think it'll work out.
	Mustang Sally's got the big block engine.
	It's a big V8 thingy.
	It should be okay.
	Thingy.
	Big block engine.
	First you start with big block like you know something.
	And then you say thingy.
	I got the triple overhead cam thingies or whatever.
	Triple overhead cam.
	That's a good one.
	Anyone who knows cars will get a kick out of that.
	I know.
	I know.
	You can't go more than dual.
	I know.
	I know.
	I'm just trying to let the lid on.
	Alright, so thank you to our executive producers and our future knights who are coming up later on the program and our associate executive producers for providing us with the value for value.
	We highly appreciate that.
	We hope not to disappoint, of course, if you couldn't come in with a value donation.
	There's always something you can do.
	Propagate the formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Water.
	Order.
	Hey, hey.
	Shut up, slay. - Yee!
	And by the way, for the chatroom who are obviously experts in the hauling of trailer, I do have a brake controller in the truck.
	Coincidentally, I looked at this box.
	What is this box doing?
	And I had to Google the thing on the box to see what I want.
	Oh, it's a brake controller.
	Okay, I get it.
	So I've got that.
	Yeah, that's great.
	Well, if you have a big unit like this, you definitely want one of those.
	Yeah.
	Well, maybe I need a different vehicle.
	No.
	But I think it should be okay, right?
	Yeah, no, it sounds more okay.
	You got a big V8. That's what you want.
	You just got it to hitch.
	You're done.
	Hey, I'm done.
	You're not driving around, you know, some...
	It's not like a Prius that you have to haul that thing with.
	So if you want to...
	That would be funny.
	Yeah, that would be so funny, John.
	Itm.im slash tour09 if you want to be shuttled to the Facebook page.
	That's Miss Mickey's world, so live in it.
	And she'll be organizing everything.
	She's got a pretty good route already.
	And it looks like we're going to go Rockies.
	We're going to go all the way up to Montana.
	Come back down again.
	It's a 3,000 mile trip.
	And she's planning it this time.
	So make sure you email mickeyatcurry.com.
	And if you want to organize a meetup, we're going to try and do it a little more systematic, especially since there's a lot of terrain in between population people on this trip.
	And we want to have some really good big meetups.
	Are you going to go to Mount Rushmore?
	I have no idea.
	She's in charge of that.
	Well, tell her to do that.
	I shall.
	You get a kick out of it.
	I shall tell her to do that.
	She definitely needs to see it.
	Well, not just that, but we want to see all the human resources.
	And then, next year, we'll do the West Coast.
	We'll go up to Washington and maybe dip into Canada.
	Or, you know, a lot of Canadians want to come down when we're up in Montana.
	Oh, that'd be nice.
	Yeah.
	Well, they could go up to Canada.
	They actually can go up to Alberta.
	No, we're not going to go up to Alberta.
	Okay.
	Alberta's coming to us.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	You want to go first?
	I got tons of stuff.
	You finished off last show with a little jab again.
	Just a little light piece I ran into.
	J.C. ran into the early reviews of the next Woody Allen movie.
	He's finally floating around in Europe.
	And I realize that there's some, you know, you talked about kind of the just general douchebaggery in Europe, and I do have a clip of the drugs thing going on in Holland.
	I will point out that we discussed this months ago before it was happening, and now everyone's like, I mean, people who listen to No Agenda, hopefully at the office you were saying, I knew this was coming, or you said it weeks ago, or months ago, so you could look cool and get laid.
	I think up to a year ago.
	Yeah.
	But I was reading this review of this.
	This is the kind of...
	I just got the biggest kick out of this.
	The reviews that Woody Allen, you know, kind of an American icon filmmaker, gets for his movies.
	And I have to think that the whole society thinks kind of like this.
	I just want to read a little piece from this article about Allen has had to regularly fend off similar criticism.
	When Midnight in Paris was first released...
	French filmmaker slash critic in this case, Robert, whose last name I can't pronounce, Guigouian, accused him in the movie of ignoring poor Parisians earning below the minimum wage.
	What?
	This is the way that...
	It was an Owen Wilson movie.
	Come on, what's wrong with you?
	This is like missing the entire point of the business you're in.
	Yeah.
	Storytelling.
	It's got nothing to do with putting out some message about Parisians and earning below the minimum wage as though that's your obligation.
	By the way, have you seen that movie?
	I think all of Europe has this kind of weird...
	Thing going on, that actually creeps me out thinking about it.
	I can't say why.
	Have you seen the movie?
	What, Midnight in Paris?
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Outstanding movie.
	I liked it a lot.
	Oh, I think it's one of the best movies he's ever done.
	And Owen Wilson, I thought...
	Did a great job.
	Great job.
	So, do you want to play this drug clip and then I can talk more about Europe because I've detected something going on.
	Okay, well good.
	Well, I got two European clips.
	I got the drug clip, which is just giving us, this is just the background or with somebody, some American grousing on what's going on in Holland right now concerning marijuana.
	This will keep, this catches up with what's kind of happening.
	The Netherlands is famous for its liberal approach to soft drugs.
	While it's not strictly legal to smoke cannabis here, its use is tolerated.
	The Dutch government decriminalised the possession of less than 5 grams of cannabis in 1976.
	Cannabis.
	Why do they associate porn music with Holland?
	I love that music.
	What's up with that?
	Cafes or coffee shops are a major site in most cities and a major attraction for tourists.
	But now the government wants to tighten the restrictions.
	I think it's ridiculous.
	Ridiculous.
	It's a shame because I believe that the world really admires the Dutch for their pragmatic and forward-thinking view on how they handle what they consider soft drugs.
	And it just seems that they're literally going back in time.
	They're digressing.
	Yo, man.
	The new law is designed to cut the numbers of drug tourists who, some residents had complained, were creating nuisances like traffic jams and an increase of hard drug dealers on the streets.
	What a bunch of bullcrap that is.
	Is that bullcrap?
	This is the BBC, by the way.
	Of course, of course.
	It's a total lie.
	That is total bullcrap.
	It's not at all true.
	It's also designed to cut cross-border crime caused by foreigners coming to the Netherlands to buy their drugs, then returning to sell them illegally at home.
	No, no, it's intended to push everyone towards the illegal trade like ecstasy and coke and heroin, which is booming right now.
	This is groovy!
	From the 1st of May, coffee shops in three southern provinces will become members-only clubs.
	Up to 2,000 membership cards or weed passes will be issued by each cafe to residents over the age of 18.
	The law will come into effect across the country at the end of this year.
	There are around 700 coffee shops in the Netherlands.
	Owners fighting the ban say the new law discriminates between EU citizens on the basis of where they live.
	Some claim the new rules will cost up to 90% of their business.
	By the way, I think that the little point that she makes there is the one that's the most interesting.
	How do you discriminate?
	The EU is the EU, right?
	Ah, you're leading right into my thesis.
	It's not a federation at all.
	It's the EU. It's one single centralized government.
	How can you discriminate against one person from Germany and one person that lives locally in Holland?
	Ah, there's something very important happening.
	Well, take it.
	Okay.
	So this is all a part of what I believe is a huge...
	It's a theory, and maybe it's conspiratorial, but I'm reading a lot of things.
	Of course, having grown up in Europe, I pay attention to a lot.
	I understand a lot of the foreign lingos.
	This is a part of the Schengen Agreement being rescinded.
	Are you familiar with the Schengen Agreement?
	No.
	Tell me.
	The Schengen Agreement...
	How do you spell it?
	S-C-H-E-N-G-E-N. The Schengen Agreement was an important part prior to the European Union where countries agree free and open borders where you don't have to show your passport.
	And I had to deal with this a lot when I was living in Gitmo Nation East in the UK. The UK never signed on to the Schengen Agreement, so I couldn't just fly from London over to Amsterdam, even a small field that literally have Gestapo waiting for me to check my papers.
	Because, you know, I came in from, you know, in a Cessna.
	And so anywhere I went, I had to go through passport control and coming back, the same thing.
	So the Schengen Agreement is being blown up.
	Denmark has now rescinded the Schengen Agreement.
	And listen to what's happening in Spain.
	Now we know Spain is in deep, deep trouble.
	I can even play a clip later on.
	For some reason, this country, which is a tinderbox at the moment...
	Has decided to have the meeting of the European Central Bankers in Spain.
	And gee, wow, do you think people might riot against these a-holes?
	Yeah, well, why are you going to go to Spain?
	You stay in Brussels.
	No, no.
	What a bunch of jerks.
	They're doing it on purpose.
	Yes, they're poking people in the eye with the stick.
	And what are they going to do about it?
	Spain has stepped up border security ahead of next week's European Central Bank meeting in Barcelona amid fears foreign activists will try to join locals in staging anti-austerity protests.
	It's temporarily banned passport-free travel under Europe Schengen Treaty.
	So, they are turning back the clock on the Schengen Treaty, which means the borders are closing.
	And I believe there's a reason for this.
	Here's what's being said in European conspiracy circles.
	We know that the Germans have been printing marks for a long time.
	You've picked that up.
	That's a big rumor.
	Eastern Europe.
	Big rumor.
	Or they would be called Nordic Euros.
	We have Nordic Euros and Latin Euros.
	But, you know, it'll be whatever it will be.
	The word is that France is going to pull out of the Euro because their banking system is about to completely collapse.
	That's why That's why all of this stuff has been going on with the ESM, which is they move that up a year, which basically makes all of the countries sign blank checks, and it'll be straight to the French bankers.
	Then Germany's going out, and Germany owns everybody's debt, including 90% of France's debt, and Germany will effectively have won the war they lost The two wars they lost.
	Two love wars.
	Maybe actually more than that if we want to go back to Napoleonic times.
	Without any bloodshed, they will own everybody's ass.
	And everyone's talking about this in conspiratorial circles.
	I'll just say it.
	That it's going to blow up.
	Germany's going to run the whole entire show.
	And when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense.
	Because everyone is freaking out about the austerity measures right now.
	And there's riots everywhere.
	We don't see it here in the United States on television.
	We're not going to show you any of it.
	You're not going to show us any of it.
	No, you barely even see it in Europe, really.
	I mean, I get my video stuff from Euronews.
	So the start of that is you close down the borders.
	Because they know what's going to happen.
	And I think the Netherlands is already sucking up to Germany.
	That's the only...
	Obviously the Germans are the ones who complained about all these drugs...
	It's the southern part of the country.
	I've heard other reports that it's German tourists mostly drive into Holland, buy a bunch of dope, and then drive back to Germany.
	It's also Brits, but yeah.
	The Brits come over, consume it on the spot, which we like, which is good.
	So do Americans.
	But usually in Amsterdam.
	The Germans are probably saying, we're not getting any benefit from this.
	And so then they saw this bogus argument that there's a bunch of traffic jams.
	I mean, give me a break.
	Does that even make sense?
	This is just the beginning.
	Get everybody used to it.
	And when they say wheat pass, that's the same thing as saying passport.
	It's the same thing.
	Baron von Pelsmacher sent us a video.
	He drives from Belgium up to the Netherlands.
	There's no border whatsoever currently.
	And they have the big traffic signs that they program on the side of the road, literally flashing, no drugs, turn around, go back, there's no drugs for you over here.
	It's the start, and the Schengen Agreement is closing down.
	The borders are closing.
	Shields are up, people.
	You are screwed.
	By the way, when you drive around Europe, even though this Schengen Agreement has been in business since 1985, For a while.
	All those little booths are still up.
	I didn't see them tear too many of them down.
	The little border patrol booths.
	Well, you don't have to stop.
	You can just go through them.
	No, I know, but I'm saying they're still there.
	Oh, yeah.
	No, they didn't take them down just in case.
	And here we are.
	And you watch.
	Germany is going to run the freaking show.
	And they're going to be like, we did it.
	Didn't have to kill any Jews.
	Nothing.
	How about that?
	Hey, high five.
	Now, the Dutch thing...
	I don't know that the Germans even know they're pulling this off.
	Oh, Merkel knows.
	Herr Merkel is all over this.
	And it's a banker takeover.
	They did a beautiful job.
	Yeah, German banks.
	Yeah.
	So check this out.
	So, of course, this news about the weed pass has been top of the news in the Netherlands.
	Don't look over here.
	Nothing to see here.
	Now, of course, the Dutch government fell, which means there are going to be snap elections in September, September 12th.
	Snap elections, they call it.
	However, so you now have a, what do I call it, demissionary government.
	Is that the right word?
	I don't know.
	A demissioned?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, I think that's the word.
	I never heard it.
	Well, if not, it's a word now.
	So you have a demission cabinet, so they can't make any, quote, big decisions.
	However, the minority cabinet...
	After two days of talks, agreed to an austerity package following the collapse of the right-wing coalition.
	Would you like to hear the measures?
	Would you like to hear what's planned for the slaves of Gitmo Nation lowlands?
	Oh, I'm on pins and needles.
	While everybody is talking about the weed pass, the weed pass.
	Here we go.
	An increase in the 19% VAT tax to 21%.
	Let's just start there.
	No tax relief on all, but repayment of new mortgages.
	So you won't be able to deduct your mortgage interest on an existing mortgage.
	That's going to kill half the country.
	People earning between 33,000 and 43,000 euros will pay an annual rent increase of inflation plus 1%.
	So 33,000 to 43,000 euros, it's not a lot of money to live in the lowlands.
	You can now pay an annual rent increase, which I guess is a tax.
	The tax break on home-to-work travel ends.
	I mean, this is heavy, heavy shit.
	Increase in tax on alcohol and tobacco.
	Because you know you're going to be smoking and drinking like a fiend from all this crap.
	So, eh.
	Higher healthcare fees.
	And by the way, the Netherlands has always been heralded as one of those great countries with centralized healthcare.
	Hey, hey!
	Reform of own risk payment to save 1 billion euros.
	So you're going to be shelling out more.
	However, fees for psychiatric help will be scrapped.
	Because you're going to need a lot of it.
	There will be a special crisis tax...
	Reprogramming the public.
	Yes.
	A special crisis tax for very high earners.
	I don't know if you have to be high from the weed or you're just earning a lot of money.
	But either way, you're going to be taxed extra.
	However...
	No more cuts in development aid for foreign countries.
	No, let's keep that in there.
	We've got to keep on going with Agenda 21, have 0.6% of GDP going straight to other countries.
	Good job!
	Oh, and by the way, the VAT tax on solar panels and theater tickets will be reduced.
	So you can still pray to the sun that it's going to make you some electricity, and you can go see some movies that will be promoted to you on RTL. And no one is talking about this.
	It's all about the weed pass.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Well, good.
	They've learned from us.
	How unreal is that, eh?
	I don't think...
	Well, it's going to be fun to watch.
	All it is is part of just a kind of a depression wave that is going to overtake...
	Let me ask you a technical question.
	Is the definition of depression not a double-dip recession?
	Did that change?
	I thought that the definition of a depression was...
	Well, there's actually a very formal definition of a depression.
	Let's see if we can find it.
	Let's take a look at it.
	Consult the book of knowledge.
	And by the way, it has changed over the years.
	It's essentially...
	It's not this...
	The last...
	Econ...
	So I have Spreo in the chat room saying that everyone's talking...
	Well, Spreo, you are on the inside, dude.
	I don't think...
	Most people are talking about Holland's Got Talent.
	I think most people are talking about the new edition of The Voice Kids and The Weed Pass.
	I would say that's what most people are talking about, but we'll see.
	See if I can find the definition.
	It's too late now.
	Economists have come up with a definition.
	Definition.
	X number of quarters that have dropped by X amount of whatever.
	In the olden days, it was essentially when the economy stopped and prices were going down.
	Everything was getting depressed in terms of prices.
	You had the opposite of an inflationary situation.
	Let's see.
	No, I don't have it in front of me.
	But they have changed it enough so that it's pretty hard to call a depression.
	And they've been very reluctant to do so because I think we're in one now, personally.
	I always thought it was if you go into recession two times within a quarter or something like that.
	Now, according to the Book of Knowledge...
	I'm looking in here.
	They've got so much...
	They don't have a real...
	No, they say in economics, a depression is a sustained long-term downturn.
	Yeah, this is not...
	There's an actual formula for saying...
	It says there is no agreed definition of the term depression.
	No, that's not true.
	Uh-huh.
	Okay.
	I've heard it said numerous times, and it's...
	Here, a recession lasting two or more years, a decline in real GDP exceeding 10%.
	Well, then we've been in a depression since 2002.
	Yeah, we're in a depression.
	There's no doubt about it.
	But the worst part...
	Anyway, okay, we'll worry about the definition.
	We'll worry about what we call it.
	How about just crap?
	It's not good.
	No, it's not good.
	Might as well play the clip I have of the Spanish economy, which is Spain Near the End is the name of the clip.
	It essentially gives you some figures and does make you wonder why they would have a meeting in Spain with these numbers that they're about to express.
	Well, there's some depressing news on the economics front from Spain.
	Newly released figures show that nearly a quarter of the workforce is jobless, the highest level in 18 years.
	Those figures mean more than 5.5 million people are looking for work, giving Spain the highest unemployment rate in the whole of the Eurozone.
	Gavin Hewitt reports.
	More bad news.
	The unemployment queues are getting longer.
	Unemployment reached 24.4%.
	Youth unemployment is at 51%, and the government expects the figures to go higher.
	I keep looking and looking, but there's hardly anything.
	I'm living day to day.
	I'm single.
	I've got a daughter who's studying, and now I'm almost on the street.
	Oh, yeah.
	Get used to it and watch me zip by in my trailer.
	So we have 51% in getting larger of student, you know, people are just grads and students.
	This is the group that doesn't mind going out and causing a ruckus.
	Well, they've got nothing better to do, and there's no more weed.
	We can't drive to Holland and bring any weed in.
	Only you can go to Portugal if you can get over the hill.
	Yeah.
	There's no weed, man.
	Let's go and break something.
	There's no more weed.
	So this is not...
	Well, let me give you grease.
	Shaping up is a bad thing.
	By the way, did I say in the last show that Garcia finally got back a hold of me?
	Yeah.
	Oh, good.
	He's alive.
	He's okay?
	Yeah.
	He's doing well.
	He's going to have some reports for us.
	He must have gotten laid and forgot to listen to the show or something like that.
	So Greece is now the...
	So they have no money, as we know.
	And they've actually looted the university funds and the pension funds, and that's not even really being reported.
	They're going to provide 250 million euros in emergency funds to its electricity providers, because people aren't paying their electric bills anymore, frankly because they can't, and they have to give this money to the electrical companies to prevent a California-style energy crisis.
	Now, that has a double meaning there, because one, I guess what they're saying is rolling blackouts, and now your electricity is going to get turned off.
	And two, of course, the California energy crisis was a scam by Enron.
	So there's a double meaning there.
	Yeah, this is rigged too.
	But an increasing number of consumers stopped paying their electricity bills after the government started collecting a 1.7 billion euro property tax through the electric companies.
	Remember they did that?
	It's like, now, if you wanted to have your utilities on...
	Then you had to pay it, and as a part of your payment, your property taxes were jacked onto your electric rates, and people just couldn't afford it anymore.
	This is very interesting, because this is now being used in the United States, and this is a real problem.
	In Las Cruces, New Mexico, where the White Sands are, where we visited, they are now tying the non-payment of traffic camera violations to your utilities.
	So if you don't pay your traffic camera violation, so you speed or you go a little bit over, I've had this happen where you move forward and you're a little bit over the line and then you get flashed even though you're not driving.
	If you don't pay that, they will turn off your electricity.
	In America this is happening.
	Yeah.
	Well, this is because many of these operations have been taken over by, you know, they're trying to privatize everything.
	Scammers get a hold of these.
	I mean, San Francisco, for example, it's not the courts anymore that do parking tickets.
	It's some company.
	Oh, yeah.
	And so you can't really appeal to anybody.
	It's basically, really?
	The ticket was unfair?
	Well, screw you.
	Yeah, screw you.
	Who cares?
	So, anyway, this is also going on with the prison systems.
	They keep trying to privatize all the prisons.
	I saw the news now.
	Seven million people who are...
	If they're not in jail, they're under the incarceration umbrella.
	So that means that they're either...
	They have ankle bracelets...
	A buddy of mine here in Austin.
	Which is another moneymaker.
	Oh yeah, a buddy of mine here in Austin.
	As we've spoke about before.
	Check it out.
	So, he had a DUI, which, of course, he's an a-hole, and he deserved a ticket.
	And then he got stopped again and he had, I think, you know, he says he had two beers.
	It doesn't matter.
	I mean, you shouldn't be drinking at all.
	So I condemn him for that.
	But, you know, he said, well, you know, let me do a blood test.
	And they arrested him on the spot.
	Took him down.
	Never did the blood test.
	Never.
	But, you know, he gets another hit on his record.
	And one more and he's going to jail.
	And he deserves to go to jail for it.
	But here's the thing.
	Not if he didn't do any of it.
	Well, he can't prove, you know, they never took the...
	And regardless, after the second one, they put a breathalyzer starter thing on his car.
	And so that cost him $1,500.
	So he can't start his car.
	And he's a doctor, by the way.
	Can't start his car without breathing into the tube.
	And so he had been out drinking one night.
	And now he just has someone take him home.
	So the next morning, it gets into his car, and it registers him as still having residual alcohol.
	And it has nothing to do with the level, just any alcohol, because it states he is forbidden to drink alcohol.
	You hear what I'm saying?
	He's forbidden to drink.
	Drinking anywhere, whether he's getting in a car or not, is a violation of his sentence.
	Seems like a...
	Doesn't seem right.
	He showed me the paperwork.
	He is forbidden to...
	It's the same thing that Lindsay Lohan went through, which was the training for us.
	Remember, she had an ankle bracelet, and she had a drink, and then it went off, and then she had to go back to court again.
	There's a difference between if you get caught again driving with alcohol, going to jail, which is deserved, and forbidding someone to drink.
	Well...
	Anyway, so now it got like a violation light.
	The car wouldn't start.
	And so he has to, you know, then he has to call them.
	They give him a code to reset it.
	And he gets a $150 fine for the violation.
	It's nuts.
	The whole thing is a big scam.
	The whole thing is a big scam.
	But parking tickets in San Francisco right now are $65 to $100.
	Mm-hmm.
	For parking in a meter.
	Well, anyway, we're just telling people stuff they already know.
	We don't need to delve into that.
	That doesn't help.
	So Germany is going to take over all of Europe.
	Congratulations.
	Start sprechen Sie Deutsch, because you're going to need it.
	Ich will mein Fahrrad zurück.
	Which is, I want my bike back.
	It's a bad Nazi joke, but it's still a big one.
	It's a good language because it's one that doesn't necessarily get people to want to have sex or necessarily get them laid because it's such a rough-sounding, tough language, which is good for the show, apparently, since that's the key to success.
	I will say, though...
	I was in Berlin for quite a while.
	We were considering opening a Mevio office a couple years ago.
	And I thoroughly enjoyed working with the Germans.
	I mean, they're really nice people.
	It's just this Merkel business and the central bankers and the former Deutsche Bank.
	And these are just a-holes.
	It's a total takeover.
	And they're laughing.
	If you look at the Greek newspapers, they've got pictures of Angela Merkel with a swastika on her sleeve.
	And it's not the first time that the Germans have screwed Greece, I might point out.
	A lot of people who remember the previous time are still alive.
	And they're waving their flag saying, hey, hey, come on.
	We can't have this happen again.
	President Obama should implement a no-fly zone.
	I don't know.
	It's just that I think you're...
	Yeah, we'll be following this, obviously.
	You can't say I'm completely off my rocker.
	It's a distinct possibility.
	We've been saying on the show ever since we started dissecting the EU and what they're up to.
	Or what they're trying to do.
	I don't think it's going to work out.
	Well, but the Schengen thing, that's a big deal.
	Because there were two selling points.
	One was we all have the same money.
	You don't have to exchange it.
	And the other one is you don't have to show your passport.
	Those are the big selling points.
	And now they're closing down the passport part.
	Well, there's only one more thing you need to change.
	And that's just screw y'all.
	You're out.
	We have the Nordic Euros.
	So we'll be up here with the Netherlands and with parts of Scandinavia, the parts that are in.
	Well, they've been taking a number of runs at trying to close the borders again.
	And if you remember, this is over a year ago, they tried to get this thing to fall apart when they had these refugees that came over on boats from Libya or Tunisia or...
	Or Egypt.
	And then they all went to Italy because that's where they, you know, there's some connection there historically.
	And so they'd go there and they'd tell you, we don't know, out.
	Right.
	And so they started gravitating all over Europe.
	They stuck them on an island down there in Italy first.
	Yeah, and then they got on boats and they were saying, we can go anywhere.
	And they said, no, no, you can't.
	But that never caught on as a general impetus to shut down all the borders.
	But the pot might...
	Yeah, the pot is the way in.
	To get everyone...
	It's a lot of attention.
	Yeah.
	Well, there you go.
	So, just to finish up, over the Saturday, there was the correspondence dinner in Washington.
	And I have some clips that I'll play later.
	There was one pot-related clip that is actually interesting.
	Yeah, so what happened, for those of you who don't know, and I watched this and I didn't even pull clips because I knew John would.
	They call it the prom.
	It is the annual circle jerk where the corrupted mainstream media brings in a bunch of their little slavelets like Kim Kardashian.
	And Lindsay Lohan and members of their biggest rated shows.
	So it's a big celebrity gala.
	It used to be for correspondents.
	Now it's a celebrity shindig.
	Which this year, ABC, of course, who have been completely...
	They laid down and rolled over for the administration.
	We know that the sister of the president of ABC News is a special advisor to the president, so they're completely compromised.
	They'll do whatever they need.
	They're just whores.
	And so Jimmy Kimmel, of course, is ABC, which is why they choose Jimmy Kimmel, because he's ABC. And I have to say, before you get into it, so first the president does his shtick, and there's supposed to be irony and funniness, and then Jimmy Kimmel gets on.
	This was the worst thing I've ever seen.
	It was basically two guys just reading a bunch of jokes.
	It was like open mic night at the comedy store.
	And they would just keep going.
	They would just keep going.
	It's like, oh, this one fell on his face.
	Oh, they'd keep going to the next one.
	No, he definitely...
	Kimmel plowed through the jokes.
	So did Obama.
	Obama had nothing but joke after joke.
	I agree.
	I think Obama was not...
	And usually he's good, but it just shows the guy would be equally as good or as bad as just a comedian.
	He could just be a comedian.
	Actually, in a pre-show, Kimball suggested that he could.
	Yeah, I saw that.
	So Kimball had a lot of jokes.
	Some of them were funny and some of them were just dogs.
	And I do have a best of...
	There's only four or five that I thought were hilarious.
	And I have that as the end of show clip where we can play it now.
	We'll do that end of show.
	Yeah, let's do that.
	The mainstream media will be showing these all day long.
	It's like, ha ha, how funny was it?
	We had our little circle jerk.
	Ha ha, little reach around.
	So funny.
	But anyway, right in the middle of the thing, Kimmel decides to go after Obama on pot, and he gets visibly nervous.
	Yeah, it was a good one.
	Oh, there he is.
	I do have one real question for you, Mr. President.
	President.
	What's with the marijuana crackdown?
	I mean, seriously, what is the concern?
	We will deplete the nation's bunion supply?
	You know, pot smokers vote too, sometimes a week after the election, but they vote.
	Let's take a quick poll.
	I would like everyone in this room to raise your hand if you've never smoked pot.
	There you go.
	Look at Brit Hume.
	He's high right now.
	Good line.
	He's on his fourth almond macaroon.
	Mr.
	President, I hope you don't think I'm out of line here, but marijuana is something that real people care about, and the fact that you believe Speaker Boehner, when he tells you he still has control of his party, leads me to believe that you must be smoking some crazy great weed yourself.
	Woody Harrelson just woke up.
	So, I think you will not see that on all the replays, on all the networks.
	They won't play that one.
	And the reason why I got such a big laugh is because all these a-holes who are sitting there know that they're not reporting on the true scandal that is taking place.
	Yeah, no, I agree.
	But Kimmel was visibly shaken and out of sorts as he went through that little bit and then he ended it.
	And then he got back into just joke, joke, joke, joke.
	But that part was like, whoa, that's interesting.
	That's his one Colbert moment where he's not going to get invited back.
	No, no, no, no, never.
	The whole thing.
	They go back to Leno.
	And then the president, you know, making jokes about being born in Hawaii.
	It's just like, you're making jokes about some really serious things that are really being questioned.
	And it's just everyone who was there should, you know, should just be on a list.
	And when it's our turn, we round them up and we shoot them.
	So, I do have two Obama clips that we can pull.
	One, he was making a lot of fun of his situation with dogs.
	I didn't think that was funny.
	I thought his joke was dumb.
	Well, I thought it was okay.
	I think the whole dog eating thing is a complete distraction.
	I can't believe you are corrupting our program with this.
	Play Obama pit bull joke.
	It's short.
	Even Sarah Palin's getting back into the game.
	Guest hosting on the Today Show, which reminds me of an old saying, what's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?
	A pit bull is delicious.
	So the thing that went through my mind, and I think because they kept showing Michelle Obama, and she was going like, oh no you didn't, oh no you didn't, she had one of those, was because you eat a pit bull, but you don't eat Sarah Palin.
	I mean, I could only think of just eating.
	The lewd kind of subtext of that joke is...
	Yeah, a little...
	I noticed that too.
	Yeah.
	And I'll tell you what I'd rather eat.
	Yeah, well, he could have done that gag.
	He did have one, I thought, poignant little jab against the Huffington Post, which was definitely, I guess somebody's paying attention.
	Plenty of journalists are here tonight.
	I'd be remiss if I didn't congratulate the Huffington Post on their Pulitzer Prize.
	You deserve it, Ariana.
	There's no one else out there linking to the kinds of hard-hitting journalism that Huckpo is linking to every single day.
	Give them a round of applause.
	Thank you.
	And you don't pay them.
	It's a great business model.
	That was good.
	The topper was good, and you don't pay them.
	That's a great business, which is true.
	Well, the Huffington Post did win the Pulitzer Prize for some actual journalism from David Wood.
	It was beyond the battlefield, but it was all about veterans and with more propaganda.
	It was basically just...
	The whole thing...
	When Jimmy Kimmel listed...
	At the end there, he listed all the people who were in the room.
	Advertisers, he said.
	Sponsors.
	All the bigwigs.
	I'm like, if Al-Qaeda ever wanted to do something good, that was the room to bomb.
	Right there.
	Just blow them all up.
	All of them.
	Can you imagine what a beautiful world it would have been the next day?
	Yeah, we've been completely in a fascist state.
	I mean, I don't want to be, you know, I don't want to, I don't condone violence.
	But wow, it was just douchebag heaven.
	It was douchebags on parade.
	And then, yes, thank you.
	And then to have Kim Kardashian there.
	Oh, I mean, it just, you make, ugh.
	Well, I looked at the guest list, and you look at Bloomberg's guest list, and it wasn't anybody from Bloomberg.
	It was all these celebrities.
	You look at CBS. Where's the correspondents here?
	They're in the back, by the way.
	They move all the writers and correspondents into the back of the room, and the front's all these celebrities that shouldn't even be at this event in the first place.
	So while all the news media who are giving you this crap While they were out partying.
	And of course, you know, it's not just what you saw on television.
	There's big parties after all this.
	Before and after.
	Yeah, it's huge.
	Everyone's getting hammered.
	David Gregory, you know, he did some awards.
	Google had some big party for these guys.
	The whole thing is, it's like screwed.
	So you're lucky we're here.
	Meanwhile, CISPA passed the house.
	Yes.
	But with amendments, and I'd like to point out a few of them.
	Yeah, the amendments are worse.
	Did you read them?
	Because I've got the amendments here.
	No.
	All right.
	So there were 16 amendments, and three of them caught my eye.
	Amendment number five.
	So for those of you who don't know, CISPA, and we read this document, and this is not so much about copyright protection.
	This is about the government being in your network, in your email, in your A, and your commercial companies, private companies, providing access, sharing with the government.
	And the reasons why comes up in amendment number six.
	From Quail of Arizona, Eshoo of California, Thompson of California, and Brown of Georgia, would limit the use of shared cyber threat information to five purposes only.
	Are you ready for them, John?
	Five purposes only.
	Purpose number one.
	Cyber security.
	Cyber security.
	That's not broad at all, luckily.
	Number two, investigation and prosecution of cybersecurity crimes.
	Point number three, protection of individuals from danger of death or physical injury.
	That bans this show, what I just said about that room.
	Number four...
	Protection of minors from physical or psychological harm, i.e.
	bullying.
	Number five.
	Protection of the National Security of the United States.
	And there's an elaboration under Amendment No.
	6 that I want to go to.
	So I just gave you the highlights.
	That's how it'll be reported in the news.
	But let's expand on that.
	So we have cybersecurity purposes, investigation and prosecution of cybersecurity crimes, and then...
	For the protection of individuals from the danger of death or serious bodily harm and the investigation and prosecution of crimes involving such danger of death or serious bodily harm.
	So anything I just said, I could be investigated for.
	They could snoop everyone's packets.
	You're in the chat room.
	You're all valid.
	Now, under the protecting minors...
	The expanded stipulation for the protection of minors from child pornography, any risk of sexual exploitation and serious threats to the physical safety of such minor, including kidnapping and trafficking and the investigation and prosecution of crimes involving child including kidnapping and trafficking and the investigation and prosecution of crimes involving child pornography, any risk of sexual exploitation and serious threats to the physical safety of minors, including kidnapping and trafficking and any crime referred to in
	Code Title 18, including.
	Psychological.
	Threat.
	That is bullying.
	So if you bully someone, if you post a comment that is snarky, is trolly, you're fair game.
	You are fair game.
	So.
	If you post a comment that says you suck.
	Well, no, you suck.
	It's got to be a little more than that.
	I think that would hurt someone's feelings.
	Try this.
	You suck, you fag.
	That would do it.
	Well, that's too obvious.
	That's too obvious.
	But this is the gulag.
	We thought the brown shirts were going to march in the streets and we got all our guns and ammo.
	Useless!
	Useless!
	You can't shoot them on the internet.
	I can.
	Hold on a second.
	Hey you!
	Because they're coming.
	They are coming for you.
	Now!
	Now another little thing that no one even talked about was the Cybersecurity Enhancement Act that passed.
	Ho ho!
	How come no one's talking about that?
	This is HR 2096.
	Now it's not law yet, but it passed the Senate.
	Well, it wouldn't be in HR if it was passing in the Senate.
	No, it already passed the Senate, now it was passed by the House.
	But it was something else in the Senate, so it had to be some S. No, now it has already passed in the Senate, now it has passed in the House, so now it goes on to become law.
	And this is the Cybersecurity Enhancement Act of 2012.
	Whenever I hear the word enhancement, unless it's about my penis, I'm very worried.
	Findings.
	The Cybersecurity Policy Review...
	The guy from Texas who did it, by the way.
	Oh, yeah.
	Lamar?
	No, McCall.
	McCall?
	The Cybersecurity Review, published by the President in May 2009, concluded that our information technology and communications infrastructure is vulnerable and has suffered intrusions that have allowed criminals to steal hundreds of millions of dollars and nation-states and other entities to steal intellectual property and sensitive military information.
	Wow.
	How come I didn't hear about that on the news?
	Did you know all that?
	No.
	I do now.
	No later than 180 days after the date of enactment of this act, the President shall transmit to Congress a report addressing the cybersecurity workforce needs of the federal government.
	Here's the Gulag.
	This should be called the Gulag Act.
	The report shall include an examination of the current state of and the projected needs of federal cybersecurity workforce, including a comparison of the different agencies and departments and an analysis of the capacity of such agencies and departments to meet those needs.
	By the way, this has not passed the Senate.
	Oh, no, the original 2011 act has passed.
	This is the enhancement to it.
	I'm sorry.
	Right, but this still has two steps to go.
	Well, it doesn't matter because no one's talking about it, so it's going to pass.
	Yeah, right.
	So what this is about is building an entire cybersecurity force of brownshirts.
	Oh, cool.
	And it will be done through a huge number of grants, through scholarships, so we're pandering to the scholastic educational complex.
	Oh, we have to, and that's actually a real good gimmick if you think about it, because they've made college so unaffordable that people will gravitate toward any sort of money.
	That's pretty tricky.
	Cybersecurity University Industry Task Force.
	Again, no later than 180 days of the enactment, the director of the Office of Science and Technology and Policy shall convene a task force to explore mechanisms for carrying out collaborative research, development, education, and training activities for cybersecurity through a consortium or other appropriate entity with participants and training activities for cybersecurity through a consortium or other appropriate entity with participants from institutions of They're all going to get together.
	They're going to create these brown shirts because that'll be the only job.
	You can go to college, and you can learn to fly a drone, or you can learn how to fight cybercrime.
	The task force shall develop options for a collaborative model and an organizational structure for such entity under which the joint research and development activities could be planned.
	So when you have R&D, that is literally money flowing from the government as grants to educational institutions.
	So they're paying to educate an entire cyber army that works for the feds.
	And just for you, I highlighted one more thing because I thought you'd like it.
	Cloud computing strategy.
	In general, the director, in collaboration with the Federal CIO Council, which includes the guy, the Federal CIO Council, doesn't that include Beninoff?
	I think it does.
	From Salesforce?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
	Google it.
	In consultation with other relevant federal agencies and stakeholders from the private sector, shall continue to develop and encourage the implementation of a comprehensive strategy for the use and adoption of cloud computing services by the federal government.
	There you go.
	That's just asking for trouble for a cybersecurity operation.
	Oh, no.
	No, no, no, no.
	Because in carrying out the strategy developed under subsection A, the director shall give consideration to activities that accelerate the development in collaboration with the private sector, i.e.
	Salesforce, of standards that address interoperability and portability of cloud computing services.
	In other words, you use the cloud, the government flips the switch they're in.
	Well, you know, the problem with this kind of hand-wringing is that they already do this.
	Well, it's just making it legal.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And this is all in the show notes, 404.nashownotes.com.
	Both the Cybersecurity Enhancement Act and the CISPA amendments are PDF files under clips and stuff, and they are marked up there for your convenience for sharing around the office.
	This, by the way, unlikely to get you laid.
	Ha!
	If you're walking around talking about this, people are going to...
	Oh, yeah.
	No, you're done.
	You're crazy.
	You're crazy.
	You'll never...
	Yeah, you're done.
	You'll never get laid.
	You're on the blacklist.
	You'll never get laid.
	But we do this so you don't have to.
	I'm amused by the...
	I guess before the show...
	You mentioned, like, I couldn't get you the clips today through my normal email because the attachment mechanism is not working for some reason.
	So I decided, after trying FTP, to go to Gmail.
	He said, oh, great, and then you can be tracked a lot easier.
	The feds will at least maybe be interested in this, which is probably true.
	I was thinking about it at the time, saying, yeah, you know, Gmail is probably just monitored, like, It's probably a straight pipe into the NSA. Sure.
	Well, we know it is.
	The NSA is already...
	They're working together.
	They admit it.
	They just don't tell you how they're working together because that could compromise national security, of course.
	Now, while we're on the topic...
	So I'm going to send all my clips through Gmail from now on because at least we have some entertainment value on the other end.
	And you should mark it up by saying, hey, hey, listen to this one in particular.
	So while we're on the topic of the educational brown shirt gulag, the president, now he's already been doing this whole loan thing and dividing the country once again and Republicans bad, you know, whatever.
	You know, basically get the banks more money, don't let people go bankrupt, all this stuff.
	It's like, ugh.
	And then he comes out with an executive order, which this was not just a little executive order like, I command thee to do this.
	Now, this had sections and general provisions and specifications and stipulations, and it was the subject of his weekly podcast, not the best podcast in the universe.
	In fact, his podcast is the worst podcast in the universe.
	No one watches it.
	Average 700 views a week.
	This is his weekly address.
	I clipped a little relevant piece from it.
	See if you can catch what's going on with this.
	That's progress.
	But it's not enough to just help our veterans and service members afford school.
	We need to make sure they have all the tools they need to make an informed decision when it comes to picking the right program.
	The sad truth is that there are people out there who are less interested in helping our men and women in uniform getting ahead and more interested in making a buck.
	They bombard potential students with emails and pressure them into making a quick decision.
	Some of them steer recruits towards high-interest loans and mislead them about credit transfers and job placement programs.
	One of the worst examples was a college recruiter who visited a Marine barracks and enrolled Marines with brain injuries so severe that some of them couldn't recall what courses the recruiter had signed them up for.
	That's appalling.
	It's disgraceful.
	And even though the vast majority of schools do the right thing, we need to guard against the bad actors who don't.
	That's why on Friday I signed an executive order making life a whole lot more secure for our service members, veterans, and their families, and a whole lot tougher for anyone who tries to prey on them.
	We're making sure veterans and service members get a simple fact sheet called Know Before You Owe that lays out all the information they need about financial aid and paying for college.
	We're requiring schools to offer counseling to help students finish their degree even if they have to move or deploy.
	And we're stepping up our efforts to fight dishonest recruiters by strengthening the rules about who can come on base and make it easier to file complaints.
	Okay.
	Do you understand what's going on there?
	Well, they're going to have a pamphlet.
	Yes.
	The executive order, there's a lot of language for just a pamphlet.
	Relevant, section 4E, establish new uniform rules and strengthen existing procedures for access to military installations by educational institutions.
	I could go on, but here's the deal.
	No other school except the ones that play ball and the big ones will be allowed to go on to bases to recruit people under the extended GI bills.
	This is a huge windfall for the established universities that play along.
	So if you and I start the No Agenda University and we want to teach people something useful, Which is possible.
	We could teach you how to be a real journalist.
	We would not be allowed on base to recruit.
	This is a huge deal.
	Military recruits under GI Bill provisions is big.
	Yeah, there's a lot of money.
	Hundreds of millions.
	What he was annoyed by, supposedly, is I would think it's like the University of Phoenix or one of the...
	They mentioned it in other reports.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And they made a point of it for-profit schools coming on base and then selling these guys on their programs.
	Now, that said, what has changed...
	That you've noticed over the past, I don't know, five or six years when we have like 720% increase in tuition fees at any university.
	They've all looked at the for-profit model and said, we can do that.
	Yeah.
	Or ratchet it up.
	Now it's cost the same.
	Those for-profit schools are actually kind of expensive.
	Now some of them are better priced than the big universities.
	Thank you.
	And it's like, it's just the whole thing.
	Now, obviously, the big universities have got a little more pull, and they took Obama's side and said, look, these guys are screwing with us.
	These University of Phoenix guys is the biggest school, I think, in the country.
	Exactly.
	We can't have that.
	This is our deal.
	We want government to help us compete.
	Yeah, I had to think about that for a second.
	Yeah, I like that.
	We want government to help us compete.
	Yeah, good one.
	Good one.
	Let me roll out one more Obama clip that was just annoying.
	He went to Fort George, I think.
	Is that where he went?
	With Michelle?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	It was some middle-of-nowhere place.
	I think it was Fort George.
	Now, whenever the First Lady...
	Let me see.
	Let me just see if this is Fort...
	I think it's...
	Fort Stewart.
	I'm sorry.
	Fort Stewart.
	Whenever the...
	And we've played clips over and over of him doing this.
	And I don't understand how...
	I mean, why this is happening.
	Is this his only joke?
	When he gets on after Michelle, what does he say?
	What does he say?
	He always says, you gotta marry up.
	You gotta improve the gene pool.
	She rocks.
	She's the best.
	Well, once again, Ford Stewart, everybody.
	Continues.
	So please join me in welcoming your strongest advocate, your commander-in-chief, and our president, my husband, Barack Obama.
	Thank you.
	Hello, Bart Stewart! - Good.
	Hello, everybody!
	Hello!
	Oh, it is good to be here at Fort Stewart.
	First of all, how about the First Lady, Michelle Obama?
	How about Michelle Obama, First Lady?
	Hello, everybody!
	Marry up!
	She is a tough act to follow.
	Oh, I haven't heard that one before.
	Gentlemen, this gentleman out there who are not yet married, let me just explain to you, your goal is to improve your gene pool by marrying somebody who is superior to you.
	Same joke.
	Yeah, he does that joke constantly.
	And it still gets a big laugh.
	I mean, of course, no one there is listening to this show.
	We could probably play it over and over again.
	He uses a trick that's the speaker's trick, which is interesting.
	He immediately yells out, Hello, Fort Stewart!
	And then within the two sentences, he says it again.
	So he doesn't blow it.
	Because that'll put it fresh enough into his brain that he can get through the whole speech without all of a sudden saying Fort Benning or something else.
	Right.
	Fort Dix.
	Fort Knox.
	Hello, Fort Knox.
	Hello, Fort Knox.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, and no word, of course, about Ron Paul.
	Not a single report on the 6,500 to 7,000 people who attended his rally at University of Texas.
	Huge event.
	Huge event.
	I mean, I could play clips over and over again.
	Not covered at all.
	No.
	It wasn't even really covered here in Austin.
	I watched, specifically.
	Yeah.
	You know.
	Now that he's a Texas native.
	But on the other hand, you know, he's giving everybody a run for the money.
	He's picking up delegates.
	Nobody wants to talk about it.
	No, of course not.
	Oh, and by the way, the FCC, very interesting ruling on, let me see, where is it?
	On Friday...
	Why are you dinging me?
	What did I do?
	On Friday...
	What did I do?
	It was just that you were pausing, so I just dinged you.
	You dinged me.
	And the broadcasters have been pushing against this, but the FCC Commission voted two to one Friday morning to require broadcasters to post political ad data online so the public can see how the $3.2 billion in political ad spending is being placed.
	Now, there's some things they have to provide.
	They have to provide...
	Let me just bring it up here.
	The pricing, the times, if they refuse any ads, and why.
	Hold on a second.
	Okay, we'll start with the premise that the FCC is in Obama's pocket.
	So this is somehow to benefit Obama.
	And I would suspect it's because Obama's not getting the kind of money he expected to get, and they're worried sick about all this big PAC money coming in.
	And so they're going to hold the network's feet to the fire about certain things like when, for example, moveon.org Notoriously makes these really weird ads, and they get bumped.
	They won't play them, a lot of these networks.
	Right.
	And so now that's going to be...
	Well, and here's how they're going to do it, because what they didn't say, and this is what the broadcast industry is talking about, which I still track, they didn't talk about...
	There was no stipulations to how you submit the information.
	So apparently, the stations will just hand in printed sheets...
	Which will then be scanned into PDFs, making it non-searchable.
	You can't put it into a database.
	This is going to be a lot.
	It's going to be...
	Remember the Fed documentation that Bloomberg uncovered?
	And it was just reams and reams and reams of data.
	It'll take until next election four years to sort through it all.
	So there'll be cherry-picking, as you pointed out.
	Showing, oh, these a-holes didn't take it.
	Oh, look at all these super PACs.
	So it'll be used as a tool...
	Instead of the open access, which it should be, and these broadcasters should be required to put this information out in a structured data format so that independent people, because of course the media won't do it, independent people can go in and search and really get some valuable data from it.
	Instead, it's just going to be scanned PDFs that will be, not OCR, you know, it's just going to be a picture, a JPEG. And that's okay, says the FCC. We don't care as long as they do it.
	It's going to be used as leverage for Obama.
	There you go.
	So, one little thing I wanted to just bring in before we go to our segment.
	Saturday's New York Times Are you wiping your butt?
	Just showing that I actually have the paper in front of me by wrinkling it.
	They had this really interesting, people should look at it, it's a Charles M. Blow column from Saturday, and it's a chart of what apparently came out of the survey of young Americans, attitudes towards politics and the public, then out of Harvard, which is fairly complete.
	These kids, essentially, what they think is important and what's not important, I'm going to name, just as a little test here, I'm going to name five things, and you tell me if you think the kids think this is very, very important, or just give me the order.
	There's about 20 of these things on here, but I'm going to give you the five, and you tell me what would be the one that's the most important to them, and what's the least important.
	Hold on.
	Creating jobs and lowering the unemployment rate.
	Developing a comprehensive immigration policy.
	That'll be two.
	Let's do one at a time.
	Okay, what do you think?
	What's the scale?
	Three answers.
	It's very, very important.
	It's just in the middle.
	Nobody gives a shit.
	Or it's at the very bottom.
	They really don't give a crap.
	Okay, I'm ready.
	Creating jobs and lowering unemployment.
	Creating jobs, lawyers.
	I think that's very important.
	Right.
	Okay.
	We both have a bell.
	Yeah, I have the buzzer, though.
	Developing a comprehensive immigration policy.
	Unimportant.
	No one cares.
	Right.
	This is a pretty intuitive one.
	Okay, keep going.
	Combating the impacts of climate change.
	Very, extremely important.
	Ah, ring the horn.
	This is the last on the list.
	They have no interest.
	Oh, well good, there's hope.
	That was at the bottom.
	And I'm sure this was highlighted in the report.
	This is really important.
	No, no, no.
	They just kind of mentioned it here and there.
	Alright, next.
	Oh yeah, this one here is pretty funny.
	Let me get the wording down.
	Protecting individual liberties from government.
	Completely unimportant.
	Actually, it's in the middle.
	Oh, okay.
	I get half a point.
	Yeah, you do get half a point.
	And finally, creating...
	Well, no, I wanted to give that one.
	That's too easy.
	Addressing Social Security.
	Unimportant.
	No, in the middle again.
	Oh, okay.
	Wow.
	All right, well, you got the big one, but you missed the climate change one.
	You should have done climate change at the end.
	That's the only reason I did that, by the way, is the climate change.
	Yeah, I know.
	That's what I'm saying.
	You should have done climate change as the fifth one.
	It would have been funnier.
	It had a punchline.
	You're right.
	It sucked.
	What did you do?
	Did you write Kimmel's jokes, too?
	Yeah.
	No Joking Matter, of course, is...
	I'm going to show my support by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on No Agenda.
	Syntheslider.
	In the morning.
	And, of course, um...
	I didn't go to my email to get Bowman's thing.
	Of course.
	Because I'm sitting here taking notes on the show.
	Well, I can start off.
	Okay, let's talk about some of the people who gave us some money to support this show.
	You know, I'm literally nauseous from this show.
	This show, for the first time, I'm literally nauseous.
	We need something fun.
	You didn't think?
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, really.
	Yeah, really.
	Come on, you're a dad.
	Don't you think about your kids growing up in this depression?
	Or you like screw them.
	Anyway, okay.
	By the way, here's Bowman's thing I got while you were mumbling.
	Please refer to me as WBA1. I found you verbalizing things I've thought about for years.
	First time contributor, 26969.
	Douche, he wants us to douche.
	He says douche bag.
	People got to know it's douche.
	I can't even say it now.
	Douche.
	Douche.
	D-O-U-C-H-E. All the cheap assholes that will not pay anything for the show.
	Yes, he'd also like to get deduced.
	You've been deduced, my friend.
	You've been deduced.
	And he wants a little caramel.
	Oops, there we go.
	All right.
	You've got karma.
	Don't step on the karma.
	David Murkowski, Sir David Murkowski in Jackson, Mississippi, without comment, $111.11, said Scott Bulin in Monroe, Michigan, $110.20.
	Let me see if he's got some note that came in.
	I'm irked about the fact that I've missed a couple of these notes when they come in.
	I sometimes forward them around, but then again, yes.
	Who are you forwarding to?
	Leo?
	What are you doing?
	Send them to JC and you.
	Anyway, he doesn't have anything in the email box.
	Anyway, he's in Monroe, Michigan, $110.20.
	Dustin Kekta in Gilbert, Arizona.
	I was going to send you some yen, but transferring money is a pain in the ass over here as everyone carries cash.
	That's good to know in Tokyo.
	He's actually in Japan.
	I decided to send my donation through my U.S. account instead of me easier for the search.
	Anywho...
	If you think the media is bad in America, it's far worse over here in Japan.
	Then again, one could accurately say that Japan is the future of America.
	A Keynesian nightmare of terrible proportions if it's possible.
	I'd like to send some karma to my uncle and family back in the States.
	They're suffering from our American Keynesian nightmare.
	I love the show, but next time I'll donate freely instead of waiting for shame.
	So, just karma to uncle.
	Alright, great.
	Thank you.
	You've got karma.
	Another $100 from Will Raps from Gitmo Nation Lowlands.
	All the way down under the tri-point where the Netherlands, Belgium, and Germany meet.
	Well, there must be a traffic jam.
	Huge traffic jam, right?
	In the morning!
	Nice for my shopping activities.
	Belgium is good for cheap Burgundy and little cheeses and liquefied gas for my car.
	Now selling for $2.88 a gallon.
	That's not bad.
	For Europeans, that's cheap.
	I bought a new car in 2012.
	The Dutch government attempts from paying holder's tax until 2014.
	So far, so good.
	Anyway, last Thursday, Adam disinterred the Daily Source Code.
	It was more of a nostalgia episode and Adam took us...
	Out with him peeing.
	He put on his wireless headset and the chuckleheads listened in later.
	The DSC's value prompted me to look at my NA donation level and that's where I saw my ledger was unbalanced.
	So here's enough.
	Okay.
	So basically...
	Last episode also sucked, but because of the daily source code, and I peed, which shows you the value-for-value model right there, doesn't it?
	Because of urination, we eat.
	I'll do another one.
	You should do it with that laugh more.
	I can't get Tom's last name in this $100 donation from Akershoosh.
	It's all muddy.
	It didn't.
	Yeah.
	Stuart?
	Maybe Stuart?
	Eric Stuart.
	Tom Eric Stuart.
	Something.
	Joel Rembach in McKinnon, Victoria, $100.
	Danny Baker, Morristown, Tennessee, $100.
	Nice.
	Hans-Jorg Schultz in Bad Doberman, Mecklenburg, Deutschland.
	Deutschland.
	He's also a fan of the DSC-864.
	John in San Francisco, 69-6.
	Ah!
	Hello.
	69-69 continues his merry way.
	In the morning, thanks for making me the guy who erupts in awkward laughter on the train in the supermarket and in the supermarket.
	Hey, Citizen, with Karma Shot.
	All righty.
	Hey, Citizen.
	You've got Karma Shot.
	Ben Todman in Mount Riverview, New South Wales.
	Another 6969.
	It continues.
	I just had to send another donation.
	I have the sensational response I got from the family after cooking them No Agenda chicken last week.
	Hey, now you're talking.
	They loved it so much, they made me cook it again.
	But next time, cook it so it's cooked.
	The following night, thanks for the great work, and if you could please send me some No Agenda chicken karma, it would be greatly appreciated, which I think what he means is to pour on chicken.
	Oh no, oh no, oh no, you don't think, oh no.
	Well, okay, here we go.
	The War on Chicken.
	You've got karma.
	Sweet.
	Sweet.
	I like it.
	Yeah, it'll work.
	Marcus Sapala in Drummoine or something, New South Wales.
	But he's actually in Gitmo Nation, Switzerland.
	Tax haven, he says it.
	Thank you for an excellent job fueling my growing cynicism.
	You're welcome.
	Yeah, no problem.
	Requesting some getting laid karma.
	Ooh.
	You've got karma.
	Meanwhile, Brian Johnson in Madison, Wisconsin, also 6969, says, you were right, show 403 kind of sucked.
	90 minutes into 404 and it's significantly better.
	This is show 404.
	Yeah, you suck.
	Go away.
	He's stinging at 402.
	Thanks, I'll take a shot at karma to aid me in my finding a hot summer intern.
	You've got karma.
	You know, it's like people, you could ask for a better world, world peace, ending hunger and poverty.
	No.
	I just want to get laid, man.
	That's why I listen to No Agenda.
	Andrew Lemesini, which is the one that he thinks I can't pronounce.
	You pronounce it.
	Send a note to Adam's email.
	Lemesany.
	Send you a note.
	We'll see if he's any better pronouncing my name.
	6969.
	Lemesany?
	Let me just...
	Lemesany.
	Lemesany.
	Le Messany.
	Do I have a...
	Oh, it's a soissons d'oeuf.
	Here we go.
	I've got his donation note.
	Hold on a second.
	Le Messany.
	Hello, gentlemen.
	I'm not much for alcohol these days, so no drunk donations from me.
	However, I just smoked me some cannabis, so we'll see how I do.
	The cannabis is quasi-legal here in Colorado.
	We'll see how legal it is once the feds come stomping around.
	Hopefully the locals will have some balls.
	Also, I think I got another line on the bit you did about the tax program for drug dealers.
	Apparently all dispensaries and such had to file under those rules and got hammered.
	Show 403 was one of the best I've heard in some time, with two rants and Adam yelling, I spit on you, pharma, to top it off.
	Epic!
	Everything is dandy here under the shadow of NORAD. We get us our chemtrails about twice a week and pray for wind.
	If you'd be so kind as to bless me and mine with a Huntsman two to the head chemtrails and to the gate, to the gate, to the climate gate overlay, all while John hums the Gitmo National Anthem.
	I'd be much obliged.
	If not, I'll take a shot of Karma and John and only John on the slide whistle.
	So I think we'll opt for option two, because the first one seems very difficult.
	You've got karma.
	Sweet.
	I mean, it's no syntheslider.
	It will be better.
	But then, well, we'll see.
	Eric Nagel and Spockenberg.
	Bunschroze Spockenberg.
	He liked a DSC-864.
	Brilliant.
	Well, this will pay the bills for the records from Amazon.com and iTunes 69.69.
	That's about the cost of it.
	Yeah, it cost me about 70 bucks.
	That's right.
	Thank you, Eric.
	Damien Taman.
	Perth.
	Oh, Perth.
	Oh.
	We'd love to go there.
	69.
	Please give me some kill the malaria karma since I'm sick of lying in bed and being tired all of the time.
	Also, I couldn't get help but donate as I didn't want Adam and Mickey to end up homeless, which sounds like a distinct possibility why he's doing crappy Mattel gigs.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	You've got karma.
	We eat.
	Yeah, that's a 69-69 medley there, a bunch of stuff.
	Very nice.
	Matthew Weed, Toronto, 66-66.
	Give a birthday shout-out to my fellow citizen Tristan Banning for his big day today.
	He turned me on to the show about eight months ago, and now I'm addicted.
	Please de-douche us both and give him a Hey Citizen ITM. Also, please give a big douchebag to Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.
	I keep up with the good work.
	So he needs a de-douching plus a Hey Citizen in the morning.
	You've been de-douched in the morning.
	Okie doke.
	It's interesting people calling out these combinations.
	I tell you, people like the sound effects.
	John Martinez and Gilroy.
	The knighthead is upside down.
	Why is that?
	I don't know.
	5555.
	Finally!
	It took me a while, but I've arrived at knighthood in honor of my knighthood.
	Please pay my son's favor.
	No agenda jingle.
	Just take your medicine, slave.
	Do we have that handy?
	And here we do.
	Enjoy your Ritalin, Adderall also included.
	Thanks for being my favorite entertainment or edutainment on my commute to Silicon Valley every day.
	Looking forward to my next knighthood.
	Oh, so do we.
	A.K.A. John Martinez, A.K.A. Garlic Belch.
	He's at Garlic Belch on Twitter.
	Ring-sized nine and a half, which sounds pretty reasonable.
	Wayne Bronikowski in Littleton, Colorado.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	He's listening to the Daily Source Code after too many paps.
	He's a hipster.
	Mm-hmm.
	And his promise to Adam for bringing back...
	And his promise to Adam for bringing...
	Here's a donation of double nickels on the dime.
	Also note to my girlfriend, I took our CCW class today, and we're one step closer to being members of the No Agenda Militia.
	Can I give a karma shout-out to Mickey and Adam wishing them the best on the Hot Pockets 2009 tour and their wedding this summer?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Absolutely.
	I'm a mild slave.
	Do you just want a regular karma?
	Okay.
	Okay.
	You've got karma.
	Scott McKenzie in Wimslow Cheshire.
	Oh, Scott.
	Yeah, I know.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	He just signed a deal to publish One Day in Gitmo Nation as a serial e-book with Grit City Publications.
	So stay tuned.
	I'll let you know as soon as episode one is ready to go.
	Unfortunately, I've had to ask Rhino the Bearded to take down his audio version, so I'd like my donation of 5510 to be in his name.
	Well, too late now.
	Well, okay, Rhino, this is for you.
	Yeah, of course.
	I'm currently working on another No Agenda store, which I'll be donating to Rhino so I can record it as an audiobook.
	I'd also like to request karma for Paul the Book Guy because I wouldn't have hooked up with a publisher if it wasn't for him.
	Keep up the great work.
	Oh, this is great.
	We've started a little cottage publishing industry.
	This is good.
	We've got No Agenda Records.
	We've got the books.
	What's next?
	And our Stickers guy came and sent me a note saying he's going to try to get that site back up.
	Noagendastickers.com, that's right.
	Here's your karma for Rhino and Paul the Book Guy.
	Karma.
	Thanks, guys.
	He's very kind.
	Cody Wolfe in Glendora, California.
	Don't look us on the dime in the morning.
	John and Adam, keep up the great work.
	Long time boner, first time donor.
	I'm in need of some job karma because I've been waiting for over a month for my background investigator to contact me to set up an appointment for my polygraph.
	You should get drunk before you do that, by the way.
	I cannot keep working loss prevention and apprehending 16-year-old girls from stealing makeup any longer.
	Wow, you need big karma.
	No kidding.
	You've got karma.
	Is that...
	Were you just kidding when you said get drunk before you take the polygraph?
	Nothing.
	It's a great idea.
	Oh, it's just an idea.
	You don't know anything.
	I know nothing.
	Michael Gribos in Paxanos, Pennsylvania.
	5320.
	A long time since I donated.
	I know this won't make it until the Thursday show, which it didn't.
	But hopefully some of the no agenda karma will come early to help with my finals.
	Can I get a dual slide whistle karma?
	Oh, hold on.
	Better keep up.
	You going to hook it up to the meeting?
	Hold on.
	Hold on.
	It's out of control!
	Something went really wrong there.
	Well, fix it later.
	Do the regular whistle.
	I got it, I got it, I got it.
	Don't be such a douche.
	Hold on.
	Okay, don't be such an A. Ready?
	You ready?
	You've got karma.
	How hot is that, man?
	Michael Greer in Schickshinny.
	Oh!
	Yeah, Michael.
	We stayed at his house in the log house in Schickshinny, Pennsylvania.
	Yeah, he wants to thank you for the DSC and hope that there are more on the way.
	Sarah and I absolutely love listening to you spin the tunes and pump DSC throughout the house.
	It was great to crack open a few bottles of wine virtually and virtually jam along with you when we listened over dinner.
	It's true.
	He literally plays old Daily Source Codes all the time in his house.
	He's interesting.
	He's a fan.
	Alan Levine for Congress Committee.
	Paid for by Alan Levine for Congress.
	That's A-L-L-A-N-L-E-V-E-N-E. We want him to win.
	Dot com.
	El Cid Compeador.
	Compeador from the fifth column.
	I'd like to do a round of karma for all the listeners listening to the show and meddling with the primal forces of nature.
	As a suggestion, the world is a business speech from the movie Network.
	Could be a good end of show clip.
	Yeah, it would be.
	Thanks for the hard work and idea for the Hot Pockets Tour.
	Instead of pulling a trailer or driving an RV, the local group could donate to staying at a local hotel.
	Nowadays, this is not going to happen.
	He wants to drive around.
	Thank you so much.
	Anonymous, White Rock, BC in the ITM, John and Adam, thanks for all the hard work.
	Here's some value for silver value.
	Sir Peter Totes, $50.
	Alan Martin, Brandon, Florida, $50.
	Armin Breuer, Sir Armin Breuer in Vienna, $50.
	Since I have to pay back our trusted Ministry of Finance a handsome 3,500 euros in taxes, I thought that kicking in another 50 and asking for some more relationship karma won't make me any poorer.
	You've got karma.
	And those are our producers and sponsors for show 404.
	I want to thank them and everyone else who contributed lesser amounts and remind everyone to go to NoAgendaShow.com, NoAgendaNation.com, Dvorak.org, slash NA, and ChannelDvorak.com, slash NA, and to continue helping support the show, onward to show 405.
	Dvorak.org, slash NA. It's your birthday, birthday!
	And only one birthday to report.
	Matthew Weed says happy birthday to his buddy Tristan Banning.
	And that's it for the list.
	Congratulations, happy birthday from all your buddies here at the No Agenda Show.
	And we have two knightings.
	Sounds like it.
	Yeah, and remember that at the end of this year we will no longer be awarding our knights with the No Agenda Knight Ring, so get in on that if you want to, and after that we'll be going either for the pins or the badges.
	We haven't quite decided yet.
	But it will be something of incredible value for value, and we appreciate all of our knights and barons and baronesses and future barons who are coming in, who support the program to such a degree that it really, really keeps us going.
	So, you can...
	Hello, your blade.
	Here it goes.
	I need to get...
	Do you have any oil?
	Some sewing machine oil might help.
	S. Russell Williams, John Martinez, Step 4.
	Gentlemen, thank you very much, both of you, for supporting the No Agenda podcast.
	The amount of equal to $1,000 or more.
	This gets you a seat at the coveted No Agenda night of the roundtable of the No Agenda night.
	So, kneel down and let me swoop this thing.
	I hereby pronounce the Sir Russell Williams, Sir John Martinez, night of the No Agenda roundtable.
	Hookers and blow, rent boys, chardonnay.
	Hookers and beer, wenches and stuff and pants.
	Thank you so much.
	Okay.
	Okay, then.
	That was a good little group.
	I want to thank everybody.
	So where were we?
	I have something that I've been working on.
	So do you mind?
	No, you don't mind.
	I can't find the clips anyway, so yeah, go on.
	All right.
	So on the previous episode when I told the pharma that I spit on them, I really started digging deep, and I received 11 emails from people who went through the exact same cycle, and I think I'm on to something here.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	This is good.
	Okay.
	So here's the cycle.
	A woman goes to the doctor's office.
	She goes in for a regular pap schmear.
	Which means she's being tested primarily for HPV, the human papillomalolo.
	I can't say it.
	It's the pre-cancer thing you could get, which, by the way, is an STD. You can only get it from having sex with somebody, but that's neither here nor there.
	I don't want to get into the validity of it.
	And then you go home, and then usually just before the weekend or after the weekend, you get a call that says, oh, well, it's kind of inconclusive.
	You know, this may be precancerous, and we really have to do a biopsy.
	A woman goes back to the doctor's office, has a very uncomfortable procedure, and now I'm schooled in this stuff because I did a lot of research on Saturday.
	But it's not fun.
	They snip a little piece.
	They send that off.
	Then you wait for a week.
	You're freaking out.
	You don't know who to tell, what not to tell.
	It's very, very uncomfortable.
	There's thousands of stories of people even getting divorces in this period because you're already stressed.
	How did I get this?
	HPV, it's an STD. You must have been cheating on me.
	All kinds of crazy stuff.
	And then it turns out, oh, you're negative.
	You don't have cancer.
	But you know what?
	You should really take this Gardasil shot at $400 because that'll protect you in the future.
	And I have received 11 emails so far.
	And from our audience, just from our audience in a, what, four-day period, three-day period, I think that's a pretty high percentage of people saying, I had exactly the same thing happen.
	My aunt, my niece, my mom, my sister, exactly the same.
	Now, so I went in and said, I've got to find how this is working.
	And I've stumbled onto some interesting bits that I want to share, and then I have a call out because I need some help.
	So, first article, recently approved HPV test may prompt unnecessary surgical biopsies on women.
	Because they've changed the way this test works.
	The HPV test is no longer, you know, like they take some goop, put it on a microscope slide and look at it.
	No, no.
	It's all done with a scanner, John.
	It's done with a medical device.
	And a new medical device came on the market a couple of years ago.
	Because there's basically a couple of devices that do this.
	We have the device from Kyogen.
	We have the...
	Who's the other day?
	They have two devices, I'm sorry.
	But a new one came on the market from Hologix.
	And their device is called Servista.
	And I read from the FDA... Approval notice.
	The Servista HTA system automates the HPV test, providing higher throughput, improved chain of custody, and accurate results.
	And this, of course, is from the chief executive.
	So I'm like, higher throughput?
	That's interesting.
	So they're really trying to crank it up.
	And it turns out that Hologix...
	Who make this test, which is relatively new and only tests for a couple of HPV strains.
	There's 400 of them, but they only test for two, which of course would be the ones that you need the Gardasil for.
	They have a very tight relationship with Merck.
	In fact, Merck has paid them for placement of some of these devices at doctors' offices.
	Merck, of course, Hologix, they do breast cancer scan devices.
	They're a small company for medical, pharmaceutical, only $700 million a year in revenue, so they're very small compared to Merck.
	But they have a very, very tight agreement.
	And, in fact, so tight that Merck and Hologic are now going to Africa together to go and scan and shoot.
	And this is all paid for by the Gavi Alliance.
	And the Gavi Alliance, G-A-V-I, is, let me just give you the names of the donors of the Gavi Alliance.
	Australia, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, the European community, France, Germany, basically everyone including the United States and United Kingdom.
	And right there, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
	So they basically pay for this scam to take place.
	An article here, the trend towards disease management is forging alliances between device manufacturers and pharmaceutical houses that may ultimately benefit both the patient and the corporate bottom line.
	The underlying strategy of these partnerships makes use of diagnostic products to increase demand for drug treatments.
	This is literally, this is just out there.
	This is from the pharmaceutical industry literally saying that And this is from the medical device and diagnostics industry website, literally saying, hey, this is so cool because you team up as a drug maker, you team up with the guy who do the tests, and then, I mean, there's no possibility for conflict.
	Could there be any possibility for any conflict whatsoever?
	What do you think?
	No.
	So, what I was really looking for was, of course, somewhere...
	It's probably not in a brochure.
	I downloaded lots of brochures.
	Because what you really want is you want a brochure that says, here's how it works.
	You bring them in, you run them through the bogus device, then you tell them you get a biopsy.
	Which, by the way, once you fail the HPV test...
	Then your insurance company is looking at $5,000 over the lifespan of your policy.
	Because then you have to come back and do more tests on a regular basis.
	Of course, there's the biopsy, which is $1,000 right off the bat.
	And then, boop, there it is.
	Of course, you get your Gardasil, which is a bonanza for everybody.
	So what I'm looking for...
	And this is the call-out.
	Because I think we had...
	This is the kind of stuff...
	We could uncover a huge scam if we could get one whistleblower, one person to say, you know, it really is a scam.
	And it's an insurance fraud, is what it is.
	And it's a way to get the number one selling drug for Merck now, the number one selling drug, this is now reported, which is Gardasil, to get that shot into people who don't need it.
	So I'm looking, and I've got a lot of stuff from people in the medical industry.
	They are sending me emails, but we need a whistleblower, someone who says, yeah.
	And we'll protect your identity, 100%.
	But we need a whistleblower so we can blow the lid off this thing.
	Because instead of fighting about the validity of this so-called vaccine, we need to uncover the scam that That is being used to sell it to people who don't need it.
	And by hurting women, because a biopsy is not without risk, hurting women to sell this drug.
	And the idea that the manufacturer of the test accepts money from the producer of the drug that is provided after the test shows a false positive, In my mind is repulsive.
	Well, you're just making accusations based on supposition.
	They gave them money.
	They gave them money.
	That's not a supposition.
	It's a conflict of interest.
	I just want to give people another option.
	I'm listening.
	Which is what?
	I want to give people another option in terms of how they want to deal with this.
	The stock symbol is H-O-L-X. So if you're worth a lot of money, you can sink the company or you can invest in them and just say, you know, this is just the way it goes because we're not going to get the goods on these guys.
	So you might as well get some of your money back.
	This stock is set up to go up.
	I'm looking at the charts right now.
	Oh, really?
	It's set to go up?
	Yeah.
	So what are you recommending?
	I can't recommend people buy stocks because that's illegal.
	I'm just saying they should look at the stock.
	To make money off of it?
	Well, that's the reason you look at stocks.
	Yeah, but how's that going to help expose the fraud?
	It's not.
	I'm just saying.
	I'm assuming we're not going to expose the fraud because it's too hard to do.
	whistleblowers if you haven't noticed not that i'm discouraging whistleblowing the obama administration has been the absolute worst yeah it's notorious for for for not sympathizing with whistleblowers because they are encouraging massive corruption by being this way and you know and also cracking on the marijuana people as pointed out in the uh the correspondence dinner
	and because of the conditions out there as we speak i uh would just go along with the program and invest Okay, so the idea is invest in the company, make a douchebag full of money, and then print some stickers.
	I like your idea, John.
	Very good.
	I'm just giving people the secondary.
	I'm here fighting evil.
	Look at the company.
	I'm here fighting evil, and you are, like, wringing your hands like, hey, Curry just gave me a good stock tip.
	This is great.
	This thing's positioned to go up.
	I'm going to make a killing.
	Woo!
	If anybody does make a killing, we would appreciate some kickback.
	Since they're kicking it back to Merck.
	There you go.
	Or the other way around.
	There you go.
	No, I think you're right on to something.
	It's a completely corrupt...
	You pointed out the last show.
	This is so corrupt, and it's true.
	You shouldn't be just getting biopsies left and right.
	No.
	If a biopsy is to take a scalpel and chunk off a piece of you, then go test it.
	I think the Curry-Devorak Consulting Group should start doing biopsies.
	The non-painful biopsy.
	We do check you with our special microscope.
	Yeah, who buys the stirrups?
	All right.
	Anyway, I just want women to know we love you and we're looking out for you and for your daughters and for your mothers and everybody.
	And, you know, I've had women in my life go through this.
	It's very, very upsetting.
	It's mental stress.
	It's huge mental stress.
	And if it's a scam, people should go to jail for it.
	Really, they really, really should.
	And this high throughput of testing, please...
	And the FDA just go ahead and approve that.
	It's shaky at best.
	No, it's corrupt.
	It's corrupt.
	There you go.
	Yeah, it's corrupt.
	I mean, if you could find 10 people that have...
	There's a script, obviously.
	That was given to doctors.
	I'd love to get it, if I could get my hands on the script.
	That'd be great.
	Yeah, I mean, that was my first Google.
	It's like, script for HPV. Right.
	Yeah, I figured you'd do that.
	But they won't have the script on the internet, usually.
	But there may be something indicative in one of the 10-Ks or annual report or something.
	You never know.
	You found the thing about vaccines in one of the annual reports on a PowerPoint presentation.
	Oh, it's on several of them.
	No, I listened to the actual conference call of this company with the CEO. It wasn't really that relevant because it was just like, ah, the business is up 75% on the HPV scanners.
	There was not much in there because now they're onto the breast scanners.
	I actually should have clipped it because it's funny.
	So they have a mammogram machine.
	But the analysts that call in, so if you've ever heard, we played a couple of these analyst conference calls in the past, and they're like, hey, good quarter, guys.
	Listen, I just got a question about the breast business.
	So that's what they call it.
	Yeah, our breast business is doing great.
	Yeah, we're knocking it out of the park on the breast business.
	Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Somebody would give a crap about the public.
	Hey, what's going on in the Ukraine?
	I don't know.
	Have you been following this about the ex-prime minister being jailed and beaten?
	Yeah, well that went on for a while.
	What's going on now even more?
	Play the clip and then maybe we can at least get people to start sending us stuff.
	Hello again.
	Ukraine's former Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko goes on trial for charges of tax evasion later on Saturday.
	She's already serving a seven-year jail sentence after she was convicted of abuse of power last year.
	Mrs.
	Tymoshenko is refusing to appear in court and has started a hunger strike.
	She also claims the authorities have beaten her while she's been in prison.
	Julia is our president was the chant that rang out as thousands marched through the streets of Kiev on Friday.
	Hmm.
	So, the Russians are behind this somehow.
	Yeah.
	But I can't figure out what is the goal besides just keeping this woman locked up.
	Maybe to teach everybody else a lesson if they're not going to play a ball?
	She was the one that was ahead of the Orange Revolution.
	Wasn't she the hot one?
	Well, she doesn't look so hot anymore.
	She's just beaten up.
	Wow.
	You know what?
	We do have listeners who have connections to the Ukraine, and it's Ukraine, not the, but just Ukraine.
	Please send us stuff.
	This is what the show is good at, and put it on noagenthenewsnetwork.com.
	Well, actually, she was, like, busted because she was too cozy with the Russians, apparently.
	Well, I'm sure this has...
	I mean, they were turning off gas, and it all has to do with energy.
	Well, let me take a look at the map.
	Hold on a second.
	Where exactly is...
	Oh, wait a minute.
	Isn't Ukraine right next to Georgia?
	Yeah, I think so.
	Yeah, okay.
	I gotcha.
	So, there's something going on there, because, you know, Georgia now has their own drones.
	We sold them some drones.
	Hmm.
	Let me see.
	Ukraine.
	They say that she was in bed with the Russians and that she was going to let the Russians sell gas into the Ukraine at a higher than normal price, which really doesn't make any sense.
	It may have to do with...
	It could be a pipeline thing.
	Where is Georgia?
	I can't find Georgia.
	Well, maybe Georgia's south of the Ukraine, wherever the Ukraine is.
	Yeah, Ukraine, and then, yeah, because that's the...
	Maybe it's not butted up against it.
	I'm not sure.
	I don't have a map.
	Hmm.
	Well, that warrants some exploration for sure.
	I mean, it's all near the Black Sea...
	There's something up.
	Yeah.
	Because this is getting way too much coverage.
	There's two news stories that caught my attention.
	There's that one, and then the weirdest one is the MI6 guy.
	You heard about this one?
	Yeah.
	This is a two-year-old story.
	Oh, yeah.
	The guy who wound up in a body bag?
	No, it was a duffel bag.
	I'm sorry.
	Play the stories for the background.
	All right.
	The inquest into the death of an MI6 officer has heard that it would have been almost impossible for him to lock himself inside a sports bag.
	The body of Gareth Williams was discovered in a padlocked holdall in his bath in August two years ago.
	Our security correspondent Gordon Carrera reports.
	Gareth Williams, the intelligence officer found in a bag.
	For days the inquest has been tracing his final movements.
	A central question, did he get inside the bag himself or was he put there?
	Hold on, I gotta get in this bag and kill myself.
	This is the new way for TV to head.
	I've heard of Bagman before, but this takes decay.
	Hey, everybody.
	This has been going on for a while.
	Robert Leather, one of our producers in the UK, it's one of those stories that there's so much going on and he was MI6 and he had gay and there's all kinds of gay sex toys and all kinds of weird stuff covering it all up.
	By the way, thank you Mr.
	Oil.
	I have what's going on with Ukraine.
	Ukraine XPM Yulia Chomachenko, who was the hot one, who looked like Princess Leia, with her hair all braided up, she was jailed over a gas deal.
	So it is indeed...
	Hold on a second.
	This is an old report from the BBC. They'll probably be able to tell us exactly what happened here.
	Oh, it's a little advertisement.
	So a judge ruled the ex-prime minister had criminally exceeded her powers when she signed a gas deal with the Russians in 2009.
	And it was about taxes and...
	Here, Vladimir Putin signed the deal.
	Here we go.
	Here's the BBC report.
	We'll tell us nothing, but at least we'll get an idea of what...
	Here's what it's not.
	Whatever the BBC says is probably not the truth.
	And there, Flash Player blows chunks.
	I guess it's not going to play.
	Is it going to play?
	They're listening and it turned it off.
	Like, don't let him play that, man.
	Don't let him play that.
	Here's what Mr.
	Oil says.
	The EU has sent out warnings beforehand saying that if there was a guilty conviction, that they couldn't guarantee that an agreement that's being negotiated right now would be ratified.
	But once the sentence was handed down, Catherine Ashland, the EU foreign policy head, said that it would have Profound implications for the EU-Ukrainian relations.
	And there was round criticism from other capitals as well, including Russia, which said that they spotted an anti-Russian subtext in this sentence because obviously this was an attack on the deal that was signed back in 2009.
	Okay, here's the deal.
	So she remediated the deal that let the gas flow back to the European Union from Russia But what she did is she pissed off the new president because he was getting kickbacks.
	So basically, she's a whistleblower, I guess is how we would put it.
	And that's why she got thrown in jail.
	That would make sense.
	Yeah.
	So that's why they keep beating her.
	She's jailed for seven years.
	Right.
	Now they just threw another charge at her.
	Yeah.
	A tax evasion since she's in jail.
	Yeah.
	And you're evading taxes.
	Stay in there longer.
	So, they're beating her up.
	I have a little prediction for the Red Book, if you'd like one.
	Yeah.
	So, there was a picture of clippity-clop Lucifer Hillary Clinton with Twitter CEO Dick Costolo.
	And you gotta wonder, why is he there?
	Why does he have to talk to Hillary other than, I don't know, because she wants to do something with Twitter, perhaps?
	So I'm thinking, as we're observing the race riots, the forthcoming race riots, which we believe will happen, I don't know if you saw yesterday, actually CNN was running video and interviewing the videographers on the 20th anniversary of the LA riots from 1992.
	So the images are already being put into our mind, and they're not even really, it's just, the whole thing is racially motivated.
	I think I know how they're going to kickstart this, and it all fits together.
	Did you hear about all this Twitter stuff about the racial slurs regarding the Bruins?
	No, I missed that.
	Season-ending goal spurs a barrage of hate is the title.
	I mean, I only caught this just by chance because it caught my eye.
	Pioneers of racial tolerance in sports, the Boston Bruins, blah, blah, blah.
	They had Jackie Robinson, Willie O'Reid, the Jackie Robinson of hockey.
	Yet they found themselves Thursday addressing hateful racist commentaries circulated by Bruins fans and others on social media after Joel Ward, a black forward for the Washington Capitals, scored the winning goal in overtime.
	Apparently, people started tweeting racial slurs.
	And then I'm like, wait a minute.
	Costolo's hanging out with Hillary, who's in charge of all the techno experts.
	Here's what'll happen.
	We're going to have this Zimmerman-Trayvon Martin case, and it's going to be triggered by racial tweets.
	That's what's going to trigger it.
	I like that.
	Put it in the red book.
	I'm putting it in the red book.
	That, I think, is what's going to happen.
	And it would make so much sense because you could do that anonymously.
	You can just be some dude, some douche at the State Department or wherever, and like, hey, let's crank this shit up, boy!
	It's perfect for that.
	If it was enough to get like a whole article in Boston.com and people freaking out about it, I think this might have been a little test run to see how it worked.
	Yeah.
	That could be.
	Glad you liked it.
	That's great.
	We're just wrapping up the show.
	A little depressing news at the end.
	Oh, but let me give you some fun things then.
	I got two fun ones in a row.
	Well, okay.
	I got one kind of...
	Well, maybe I should do mine first then.
	Okay.
	Go ahead.
	What you got?
	This is just kind of an ask the question in general, but what comes to mind when you hear this clip about the Alameda County SWAT team?
	I don't know.
	Members of the Alameda County Sheriff's SWAT team are set to take part in an elite international competition this weekend being held in the Middle East.
	Eleven members of the team will be going up against some of the best in the world in the fourth edition of the Warrior competition.
	Previous winners include a U.S. Marine unit and Austria's top counter-terrorism tactical unit.
	The Alameda County team appears to be the only U.S. law enforcement team in that competition, which is being held in Jordan.
	In Jordan.
	So there's a bunch of questions come to mind.
	Of course, they just go on with the next story.
	One, why are we sending an Alameda County team and who's paying for this?
	I don't know if you've been to Jordan.
	Not recently.
	It's not the cheapest place in the world to get to.
	No.
	In the first place, it's cost thousands of dollars to get there and to get back.
	Literally.
	And they're sending these guys there.
	What kind of competition is there?
	Are they paintball?
	I mean, what are they doing?
	Is it a paintball game?
	I mean, I have no idea.
	Are they killing each other?
	That'd be kind of interesting.
	It's a warrior competition.
	I like it.
	And how many of these areas, when Alameda County's got Oakland, Oakland has a SWAT team.
	Alameda County has Berkeley.
	Berkeley's got a SWAT team.
	Alameda County's got Alameda.
	What do we need all these SWAT teams in one little area, one community for?
	And then especially when they're not even going to be around for the next few weeks because they're going to be in Jordan living it up.
	It's an away game.
	I don't know.
	I would like somebody on the SWAT team that listens to the show to tell me what's going on.
	I guess they have no false flag events planned.
	What's on the schedule?
	Do we have to go kick someone's ass?
	No, boss, not this week.
	Let's go to Jordan.
	That's all I can think of.
	It just brought up more questions than answers.
	I just thought I'd clip it.
	I like it.
	So, in case you hadn't heard it, Joe Biden made a pretty funny joke without actually thinking that he made a joke.
	Oh, the big...
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I like that one.
	For those of you...
	It's a good one.
	Yeah, who haven't heard it, this is pretty good.
	The international coalition we've built, now is the time to heed the timeless advice from Teddy Roosevelt.
	Speak softly and carry a big stick.
	End of quote.
	I promise you, the president has a big stick.
	Pfft.
	I promise you.
	And he doesn't understand he's just made a joke.
	Everyone's laughing.
	No, he's an idiot.
	Yeah, sum it up.
	Here's a better one, though.
	This one I liked a lot.
	A big trouble and even bigger danger for the man you see sitting here in handcuffs on the side of an Oklahoma road.
	David Williams was the passenger in a car pulled over south of Tulsa early today.
	When a trooper asked him about an odd chemical smell, Williams took off running.
	And that's when things got very interesting.
	After a brief struggle, it was determined that there was an active meth lab in his pants that burst during the struggle and got all over his body.
	He had an active meth lab in his pants, John.
	Oh, brother!
	I'm like, what?
	When I think meth lab, I'm thinking, there's a house with tubes and everything running.
	I'm like, what exactly is a meth lab?
	Well, there's an explanation.
	Yep, he had a meth lab in his pants.
	The contents were in this pop bottle.
	When the ingredients are combined, the pressure builds up and the mixture can be highly explosive.
	So it's literally like a pop bottle.
	I thought it was hard to make meth, but apparently you can just throw some crap into a bottle, shake it, and you got meth.
	Oh, there's a new technique that somebody came up with that essentially that is true.
	Yeah, but to specify that as a meth lab is a little bit of a stretch.
	Yeah, you mean a Coke Bob?
	Yeah.
	Hey, John, is that a meth lab in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
	Yeah, I don't know, but I'm gonna blow.
	And then this is the clip of the week.
	In fact, I'm going to line it up because you're going to want to give it to me.
	This is, I think it was the BBC. Let me see.
	Yes.
	This is the BBC, and they have on a Minister of Parliament from Australia, and his name is Bill Shorten.
	I'm sorry, this is Sky News.
	Sky?
	Oh, it's actually good that it was Sky.
	And...
	So, I mean, this is actually the press doing their job.
	I mean, I can't even explain the clip.
	You've just got to listen to it.
	Thanks for your time.
	Just picking up on Peter Slipper, before we get to the Health Services Union, can I ask you, do you think he should return to the Speaker's chair while these civil claims are still being played out?
	I understand that the Prime Minister has addressed this in a press conference in Turkey in the last few hours.
	I haven't seen what she said, but let me say I support what it is that she said.
	Hang on, you haven't seen what she said?
	But I support what my Prime Minister has said, so...
	Well, what's your view?
	Well, my view is what the Prime Minister's view is.
	Surely you must have your own view on this, Bill Shorten.
	No, when you ask if I've got my view on this, that's such a general question, it invites me to go to lots of places.
	Well, it's a specific question as to whether Peter Slipper should return as Speaker of your Parliament while he's facing civil claims of sexual harassment.
	Sexual harassment's an incredibly serious matter.
	There should be no tolerance for sexual harassment.
	That's my view.
	On the other hand, these matters have yet to be established, and I support what our Prime Minister has said.
	But you don't know what that is?
	I'm sure she's right.
	Wow.
	Play it.
	Yeah, thank you.
	Clip of the day.
	Wow.
	He's like, I'm sure she's right.
	I mean, could you have your nose any further up Gillard's a-hole?
	I mean, really?
	Well, that's kind of like when we play the end of show clip with Kimmel.
	He calls out your buddy, the press secretary.
	Oh, uh...
	For the Hillary Rosen gaffe.
	Yeah, yeah, that he knows three of them or whatever.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's the same thing, same kind of a-hole.
	Yeah.
	I just, you know, just like, yeah, I don't, you know, whatever.
	I don't know what she said.
	What the guy should have done was put some words in her mouth and said, well, she said this, this, and this, which is all bogus.
	Yeah, and then he would have said, yeah, I agree.
	And he would have agreed with it.
	Well, all right.
	But it was still for Sky News, I have to say.
	That was pretty good.
	No, that was very funny.
	Yeah.
	Just a few quick things just as we get out of here.
	So Gillard, that very same Gillard who has this guy's nose up her butt, she's already making, I don't know why she's being involved, but she says, if the UN observers, if that doesn't work in Syria, we've got to go kick their ass.
	She's on board with the French for some reason.
	Then, of course, there were weapons bound for Syria seized on a ship.
	In Lebanon, I told you Lebanon had something to do with it.
	Yeah, I know about this.
	This is interesting.
	I don't know what to make of it.
	Well, Lebanon's on the list.
	We know that.
	So it may be that they're going to say Lebanon is trying to supply weapons or...
	I don't know.
	But, you know, a ship?
	We'll get it.
	And these aren't just people.
	Remember, it started the same way as Libya.
	It started with people protesting in the streets.
	Then it was rebel fighters.
	So now it's like these protesters, all of a sudden they're getting big shiploads from Lebanon?
	They came from Egypt?
	And here's the one that's the most disturbing.
	China has decided to lend South Sudan $8 billion.
	The game is on, my friends.
	The Chinas are not just going to let America and the Seven Sisters come in and muscle their way into that pipeline.
	They're just saying, they're not having it, and they're putting their money where their mouth is.
	$8 billion.
	This is a big deal, which is going completely unreported.
	But this is huge.
	And where's Clooney?
	He's at the correspondence dinner.
	Ah, exactly.
	I knew it was something like that.
	And why was he there?
	I don't know.
	Well, I know why, but...
	Yeah.
	To get laid, of course.
	Why else would you be there?
	Alright, once again we've rammed two and a half hours of completely depressing crap through your throat.
	Hope you enjoyed that.
	I know you're here for it.
	Let me just play us out for a second here.
	With our new invention that will make us rich.
	Now I just have to work on the mute.
	I'm going to try it through the auto-tune or something, Jesus.
	You've got to work on the musicality of it all.
	But the synth-a-slide is there.
	Alright, synth-a-slide.
	I like the name, too.
	We're going to be rich.
	Rich, rich, rich, I tell you.
	All right, everybody, thank you so much for supporting the program.
	Dvorak.org slash NA will wind it up with the Jimmy Kimmel end of show clip, as promised.
	Coming to you from Austin, Tejas, the capital of the drone star state, in the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where it's nice out, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll be back on Thursday with another jam-packed depressing episode of No Agenda.
	People are still upset with the rush for comments he made about Sandra Flood.
	There's a reason Mr.
	Limbaugh said what he said, and that reason is Percocet.
	And by the way, just to clear things up for the extreme right-wingers, here's the difference between Bill Maher and Rush Limbaugh.
	The people who watch Bill Maher know he's an asshole.
	White House Press Secretary Jay Carney is with us.
	Hello, Jay.
	Jay is, as you know, not only his press secretary, you also know him as the white guy from every LensCrafters commercial.
	One of Jay's jobs is to keep track of all the Hillary Rosens.
	For those of you who aren't familiar with this story, Kim, Lindsay, etc., Hillary Rosen is the woman who said, Ann Romney never worked a day in her life, even though Mrs.
	Romney raised five kids.
	And of course, the administration tried to distance itself from those comments.
	They said she's not an advisor to the Obama campaign, even though, as we later found out, her name appeared on the White House visitor log 35 times.
	So when reporters asked Jay why her name showed up 35 times, this is where it gets hilarious.
	He said he wasn't sure it was the same Hillary Rosen.
	He said, I personally know three Hillary Rosens.
	Do you personally know three Hillary Rosens?
	Where did all these Hillary Rosens come from?
	Did you pick them in the Hillary Rosen garden?
	I bet you $10,000 you don't know three Hillary Rosens, but I'm not running for president, so...
	Three Hillary's!
	That sounds like President Clinton's worst nightmare.
	Mr.
	President, you remember when the country rallied around you in hopes of a better tomorrow?
	That was hilarious.

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