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April 22, 2012 - No Agenda

02:46:55

402: Drunk or Not Drunk?

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Time	Text
	China food safer than U.S. food.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Sunday, April 22nd, 2012.
	It's time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 402.
	This is No Agenda.
	Carpeting my oppositional defiant disorder here at Camp MoFo in the capital of the Drone Star State.
	It's in Austin, Tejas.
	Good morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where the war on chicken continues, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Crack Vaughn and Buzzkill.
	Oh shoot, I forgot.
	Hold on a second.
	Where is it?
	Where's my jingle?
	I had the war on chicken jingles.
	The ominous beginning of the show?
	Yeah, well I wasn't expecting you to roll out the war on chicken so quick.
	Oh, boy.
	Just spin that thing, that cart thing around a couple of times.
	It's on there.
	No, I didn't.
	Yes.
	Yeah, remember those?
	The big old cart rack?
	Yeah, man, just turn the cart rack around.
	It's in there somewhere.
	I'm sure it is.
	Oh, I don't know.
	Oh, here it is.
	Well, it was mislabeled.
	That's right.
	No messing around.
	Well, we've got a jingle like that.
	I've got to do more research.
	I do have some stuff on the war on chicken.
	But first, I want to say hello to you, Adam Curry, and hi to all ships at sea and boots on the ground.
	What do you mean, hello?
	What kind of opening is that?
	I don't know.
	In the morning.
	Yeah, in the morning to you, really.
	In the morning.
	That's right.
	I'm sorry.
	It's a rocky start.
	I overslept.
	Oh, really?
	Oh, okay.
	That sucks.
	And I'm groggy.
	Well, you know, you were tweeting at 4 a.m.
	No, wait a minute.
	No, you weren't tweeting at 4.
	You were tweeting at, let me see, 2 hours, 5.
	2, 2.30.
	You were still up at 2.30.
	Your time, maybe.
	You were up at 2.30, John.
	I don't think so.
	What time did you go to bed?
	I went to bed at 12.30.
	You were tweeting people.
	It must have been, maybe I was sleepwalking.
	I was sleep tweeting.
	It would just happen like, yeah, I'm going to tweet this guy.
	Like, hey, are you going to be on Twit today?
	No, I'm not on Twit.
	I'm tweeting.
	I see what you're doing, man.
	Well, anyway, in the morning to you, John, in the morning to the chat room, who are now taking bets, they feel that you probably are baked.
	Not baked.
	We think John is baked.
	Because it was $4.20, and I might add, by the way, even though it was $4.20, you'd think somebody would have come up with a $4.20 donation.
	We didn't get a single $4.20 donation.
	I know.
	I think we're losing the war on drugs.
	I don't think that anybody that listens to our show, I don't think anyone can afford to be stoned.
	Yeah, well...
	I think if you were stoned listening to this show, you'd probably just freak.
	It would be a bad trip.
	No, I don't think so.
	I think there's a number of people who like to investigate the Cheeb while listening live.
	Maybe.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, so everyone...
	Oh, man!
	Those guys are crazy!
	They're nuts, man.
	Everyone in the chat room there, noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net.
	Thank you so much, Sir Gitmo Slave, Mr.
	Oil, for getting this up and running today.
	And hopefully the connection...
	I should be okay.
	We figured out what it was.
	Last week's miserable connection that everyone complained to me about personally as though I had something to do with it.
	No, it wasn't your fault at all.
	But, yes, first of all, I will say that Time Warner came out Thursday at 1 a.m.
	They were in the street.
	Two trucks trying to figure it out.
	I think someone's a listener because I've never seen that behavior before.
	Certainly not from Time Warner.
	1 a.m.
	There's two guys out there.
	Who's this Curry guy?
	I don't know.
	If you see him, punch him in the stomach for me.
	Well, I will say that there was a cable cut right at our house.
	Oh, really?
	Not two doors down, not the beginning of the street, but literally...
	You should go down there and visit Bobby.
	Bobby?
	Oh, Bobby.
	Bobby Inman.
	This is down the street from you.
	I mean, literally up the pole at our street.
	Yeah, it's weird.
	We got a cable cut up here.
	That's probably what was causing the trouble, Mr.
	Curry.
	Yeah, squirrels.
	Uh-huh.
	Yeah, I'm sure.
	No squirrel problem.
	I had a long discussion with a guy years ago from a Pacific telephone, and he told me about the squirrel problem on these lines.
	In fact, my favorite little anecdote is that they had so many, you know, why they want to put everything underground, especially these sensitive lines.
	The squirrels like to go up into the lines, and then they just start chewing away at the, just because it's good for their teeth.
	They just chew away, and they cut the cable.
	Because it's good for their teeth.
	The dentist recommends.
	Hey, you got some erosion here.
	You should go chew on some lines.
	It's good for you.
	So he says that they didn't experiment to try to dissuade the squirrels from chewing away.
	So they put capsicum into the plastic mix.
	And what does that taste like?
	Is that good?
	Capsicum is the hot chili pepper.
	Oh, you're kidding me.
	So they made the wires this hot hot hot wires.
	Nice.
	And he says the squirrels developed a taste for it.
	They'd like more!
	They started speaking Spanish.
	They started going through it.
	Hey, hey Chico, put some more of that stuff on the line, man.
	I like it.
	They started speaking Mexican.
	I took Miss Mickey to her first crawfish boil yesterday.
	Ooh, a crawfish boil.
	That was quite outstanding, I'd have to say.
	There's a place in Austin?
	You think?
	Yeah.
	Of course.
	No, I don't think because it's not on the water.
	Usually those things are somewhere on the Gulf.
	Yeah, but they ship it in, obviously.
	It was nice.
	She's like, okay, so what...
	Shouldn't I get it from the sewer system?
	So she never Googled the word crawfish.
	She's from Holland, you know.
	It's like we don't have crawfish in Holland.
	Oh yeah, no, crawfish is a very specific thing to eat.
	Yeah, she's like, well, what kind of fish is that?
	I say, you'll see.
	It's not a fish.
	I know.
	And she's like, what's in the box?
	You buy like 25 pounds of these to get like a morsel.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Well, that depends if you're a head sucker or not.
	And then I said, you gotta suck the head.
	She's like...
	Are you high?
	Are you absolutely high?
	That was good, though.
	It was really nice.
	And after that, you eat 50 of these things, and then your face is on fire.
	You're using crystal.
	Yeah.
	Crystal?
	Yeah, the hot sauce.
	Oh, I don't know what it's called.
	Well, crystal is traditionally the what you use.
	Got it.
	It's a type of hot sauce.
	So for those of you who don't know, a crawfish is kind of like a mini lobster.
	It's a bug.
	It's essentially somewhere between a cockroach and a lobster.
	Yeah, more toward the cockroach.
	More on the cockroach side.
	Let's start it off light today, John.
	This is a clip that I... I didn't get to on Thursday.
	I just thought it was kind of funny.
	Now, this is from the GSA hearings in, I guess it's the Senate, the Oversight Committee.
	And for those of you who haven't followed along, we have this huge scandal about Where the General Services Administration, which is kind of the buying organization of the government of the United States of Gitmo Nation, you know, in 2008 they had a, you know, it's not uncommon for an organization to have a conference and 300 people to come together.
	They spent 300,000 in 2008, I think, and then the big scandal is about 2010, which of course is meant to distract us from anything else going on.
	And they spent a million dollars and they have all kinds of, you know, now we've got YouTube videos of people dressed up as clowns and hookers.
	It's great.
	Challenge coins.
	And so, okay, you know, so it's a huge, of course, I mean, we know government wastes our money and they're partying it up.
	We know that, but it's meant to distract everybody.
	And then the, oh, what's his name again?
	The Hispanic guy?
	He's on all the oversight.
	He's real aggressive.
	It'll come to me in a moment.
	Go on.
	He's questioning...
	I thought Micah was the guy going after him.
	It's his panel, but then there's always a Hispanic guy who's always asking really questions.
	Also a Republican.
	It'll come to me.
	Basically, the boss of the GSA, who was in charge of this division or region, she resigned.
	You're like, I'm out.
	I didn't do anything wrong.
	I didn't know.
	But she's on trial or on testimony.
	And this guy lays into her because in her testimony she talked about how transparent they were.
	It's not Rubio, are you thinking?
	No, it's not Rubio.
	No.
	I thought he was on that.
	No, no, no.
	We've talked about him a number of times.
	So, you know, she's talking about how transparent they are, and she's talking about the websites that they have up so you can see where all of your money is going.
	And here's the little ditty that he threw in.
	This is the last three years of the Bush administration, the first three years of the Obama administration.
	Yeah, what's his name?
	Do you know his name?
	I'll think of it in a second.
	But you know what I mean, right?
	Yeah, this guy.
	He's great.
	Well, he deserves his own show, I think.
	I think Micah could actually move over.
	This guy should run the show.
	Here he goes.
	I'm going to continue on.
	If you want to get back to me, that would be great.
	Ms.
	Johnson, can you tell me about results.gov?
	You highlighted it as one of the great accomplishments of the GSA. What does it do?
	The results.gov, among other online websites, allows federal government employees as well as U.S. citizens to look at and access data about their government.
	So when I type in www.results.gov, why does it come up blank?
	I don't know, sir.
	It doesn't even exist, John.
	There's not even a DNS entry for it.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	And she has this in her testimony at results.gov.
	And it's not...
	I mean, do a who is.
	It does not exist.
	I like the way he sets her up.
	Oh, totally.
	So what is it supposed to do?
	And then she goes on and on.
	It's so awesome.
	It's great.
	Yeah.
	At least someone's providing some entertainment.
	That was like three days worth of crap I had to look through.
	I got some clips from last week that we didn't use the week before.
	I mean, I don't have that humorous clip.
	Now I'm irked.
	Because you can't take this.
	This committee was just boring.
	It was very boring.
	That's funny.
	You got the really, you know, the inspector general.
	And he's like, oh yeah, it's all rampant.
	Oh, it's horrible.
	But he's not funny about it.
	It's just not humorous enough for us to do anything.
	By the way, I'd like to say a big in the morning to all the new listeners here in Austin who are no doubt tuning in.
	What happened?
	What did you do?
	Well, we've been out and about.
	We had a couple days.
	We were in town.
	Miss Mickey's good.
	She pulls me into town.
	She gets me social.
	And people are like, so what do you do?
	Government legislation analyst.
	Really?
	You're getting it.
	Yeah, I don't have the cards yet.
	But it is working.
	And people literally go, give me that eye.
	I say, oh, no, I don't work for the government.
	So I'm a government legislation analyst.
	Oh, okay, cool.
	Well, wow.
	And then they kind of like tune out because like, oh, this guy's like a lawyer.
	He's boring.
	I don't want to hear about his crap.
	He's boring.
	Then you talk about moon bases, right?
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	No.
	A lot of people are talking about the hookers.
	In fact, every single news show this morning here in America.
	Every single one.
	But it's funny because it's their own profession.
	The prostitutes about the prostitutes.
	And they all love talking about it.
	Hookers.
	And they even say hookers now.
	They're not even saying prostitutes anymore.
	It's about time.
	They're just saying hookers.
	My favorite one is, I think, you know, you have this theory, which I tend to agree with, which is that the whole thing was just a distraction to keep the dollar, keep people from talking about legalizing drugs, which was the basis of the whole thing.
	I ran into this one clip, let's see if I can find it here.
	Is it from this week?
	It's, let's see.
	I have too many clips today.
	No, you don't.
	No, you're good.
	I got tons, man.
	I always have so much.
	I throw half of them away.
	Okay, I got the douchebag one.
	This guy, this is the problem.
	That people have with...
	I mean, this is a Secret Service guy posting on Facebook.
	It turned out one of them, David Cheney, had posted a picture on Facebook of his time protecting Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin in 2008.
	Hoorah!
	His comment read, I was really checking her out, if you know what I mean.
	Palin had her say on Fox News last night.
	Well, check this out, bodyguard.
	You're fired.
	The president, for one, he better be wary thereof.
	When Secret Service is accompanying his family on vacation, they may be checking out the First Lady.
	I doubt that.
	So you had to see this picture.
	It's a picture of somebody apparently took of Palin.
	She's, like, speaking.
	And this guy, who's a total douchebag, he's got the little goatee and the sunglasses.
	He's peeking around the corner.
	And he's Peering around the corner with a shit-eaten grin on his face.
	He looks like Pedo Bear.
	But what is amazing, Pedo Bear, is that of all of these organizations, and I watched ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, CNN... And Fox News.
	Not a single one.
	They all say, they're there to protect the president.
	If you just go to secretservice.gov, not a single one says, oh, by the way, their number one mission is to protect the integrity of the American financial system.
	Not a single one does that.
	A single one!
	Nobody.
	They work for the Treasury Department.
	They don't work for the DOJ or anything else.
	No, no, no.
	That's not true.
	They work for Department of Homeland Security.
	It used to be Treasury.
	Now they're Homeland Security.
	But their number one mission, they have a dual mission, their number one mission is to...
	That's right.
	They did switch them to Homeland Security like they did with the Coast Guard.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Why is the Coast...
	I suppose you can rationalize the Coast Guard, but if I was in the Coast Guard, I'd be irked about not being in the military anymore.
	So there was something else that just astounded me about the mainstream media.
	And by the way, I keep reading more and more in, like, the New York Times, and, you know, of course we have to read all this, too.
	And there's even discussion panels on C-SPAN, how the press is, you know...
	They're so disappointed with what the internet wound up doing.
	People have to understand that no one believes them anymore.
	When you go on these tangents about hookers in Colombia and you can't get a single name of a Secret Service agent except one douchebag.
	Oh, we've got the interview with the hooker.
	It's like people, eventually they tune out.
	And then you're not doing your job.
	Go to...
	www.imfbull.curry.com I want you to see this press release.
	You there?
	No, I'm typing it in.
	Okay, so www.imfbull.curry.com This was Christine Lagarde, the shill put into the IMF after they pulled a hit job on Dominique Strauss-Kahn.
	So, the headline, you got it?
	Yeah, I'm looking at it now.
	Headline, IMF Managing Director Christine Lagarde welcomes pledges by members to increase fund resources to over $430 billion.
	Now, go to imfbull2.curry.com.
	The problem is, it would have been easier to do if you hadn't have done this as a forward.
	What do you mean?
	So now I've got to type it all in again because it forwards to imf.org.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yeah, imf bull, yeah, it forwards to imf, but it forwards to a page within the IMF. It would be easier if I could just type the two in as opposed to having to retype the whole thing.
	Oh, well, excuse me for doing some work and setting up a redirect to make it easier.
	I could have said, go to imf.org slash external slash NP slash SEC slash PR. No.
	imfmanager.com.
	I got the same one.
	No, imfbull2.curry.com.
	imfbull2.curry.com.
	It's a Google search, essentially.
	It should give you a Google page.
	Oh yeah, okay, I got it.
	So what are all these headlines?
	IMF gets $430 billion to combat global economic woes.
	IMF boosts resources $430.
	IMF secures $430.
	It's all, every single mainstream organization.
	Yeah, they're all, they're just parroting what happens, including the New York Times.
	Which brings me to one of my stories.
	Hold on, hold on, I'm not done yet.
	Now go back.
	Do you still have that other page open or did you?
	No, I didn't.
	I didn't do it.
	You didn't tell me to do that.
	Okay.
	So go back to that other page.
	Just use your back.
	Okay.
	So let me point out the obvious problems.
	Number one, these are pledges.
	Pledges.
	No one signed a check.
	No one gave any money.
	She's very clear here.
	She says pledges.
	Right, but then if you look at the Google results, she gets 430.
	Got all this.
	Raise here.
	USA Today.
	IMF raised more than 430 billion to save the world.
	Now, go down.
	And this is what irked me.
	So look at this list.
	Total commitments so far of over $430 billion to the current effort to increase fund resources consist of pledges from.
	And it has this list, right?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Now this is the thing.
	This is what my brain does.
	I look at this list.
	I go, Euro $150, Japan $60, Korea.
	I'm like, this doesn't total $430 billion.
	I total them up.
	This list that they are showing here that everyone reports is over $430 billion.
	What's the total?
	$362 billion.
	Well, that means that we're paying for the rest.
	No, no, but no.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	The U.S. will be coughing the rest up and that'll be the only money that goes in.
	No, no, no, no.
	The point is...
	And we're not on the list, by the way.
	You'll see underneath that conditional Indonesia, conditional China, Russia, Brazil.
	But they make this, they put this 430, they could have put 500 billion there because this list does not even total 430 billion.
	Yeah, but look at it.
	They make it look like a total of 430 billion.
	No, they don't make it look like it.
	They show it as the total of 430.
	Yes, with a big, bold total.
	And not a single organization took a calculator and counted these numbers.
	Yeah.
	It's 362 billion, not even 430.
	It's total sham!
	You know, when we get to my story...
	I'm sorry, I just wanted to point out...
	I have a more egregious example.
	I know how to use a calculator, okay?
	And I can't believe no one did that.
	It was like, oh, let me just copy this information here.
	Okay.
	And then these guys make $200,000 a year.
	The editors make half a million.
	Well, a lot of guys make $100,000.
	Yeah, like us.
	Whatever it is, all they're doing is cut and paste journalism.
	Cut and paste journalism.
	Yeah, cut and paste.
	All right, what's your egregious story then?
	I'm sorry, I just had to point out that we're doing some very simple work.
	Are you laughing at me?
	Before I go on to my example of what you just did, I do have an IMF-related story, which maybe I should mention, and then we can go on to mine, which is the...
	Now, if you are doing, your play, this is from one of the press conferences that Christine Lagarde, she had a whole slew of them.
	She was all over the place.
	Yeah, she was rocking.
	But this one, here's the one that kind of got me.
	For one thing, she didn't understand the question, and then they were explaining it on the podium, and he starts like that, and then she says something, and so I have kind of an ask Adam after this is done.
	What do you see as the funds rule long term?
	Well, you know, I will tell you something.
	We don't brag much about what we do.
	Stop the clip.
	What is the first thing that happens when somebody says, we don't brag?
	They start bragging.
	Yeah, you got it.
	Now listen to this.
	Let me back it up.
	I kind of like the beginning where she's going, huh?
	What?
	Huh?
	Didn't your mother teach you to say, pardon me, excuse me?
	Huh?
	Biaaaach.
	What do you see as funds rule long term?
	Well, you know, I will tell you something.
	We don't brag much about what we do.
	And we don't have to brag about it.
	And on this particular case, others would have.
	Because we have been behind the scene, discreetly, helping the Myanmar monetary authorities, particularly in relation to their most recent currency reform.
	And we've been working with the Central Bank of Myanmar on that very, very actively.
	And, you know, it's a tribute to them that they have made this change.
	Was it on April the 1st, if I recall?
	And that it has been so successful and that, you know, they are just going into a process.
	We're going to continue to provide any technical assistance that they need.
	This is happening, you know, on a daily basis as we speak.
	Okay.
	Okay, now...
	Do I get to criticize, or do you have a question?
	The question to her was, what are they going to do about the sanctions now that they're having elections?
	Are they going to start pulling back on the sanctions?
	And the first thing I'm thinking is that she goes on bragging about all this crap she was doing in the background, was if there were sanctions...
	How can you be doing anything?
	What are they doing anything?
	Exactly.
	That's the first thing I thought.
	It's like, wait a minute.
	There's some really strong sanctions.
	You can't do anything.
	What would we do in the background?
	We don't like to brag about how awesome...
	How awesome we were doing all this.
	What did you do?
	Did you take our money again, Christine?
	So, essentially, the sanctions are bogus.
	I mean, if you're going to let the IMF go poke their nose around and set things up.
	Anyway, I just found it very annoying.
	Well, that woman is annoying.
	Let's set up a Wikipedia page.
	Is there a wiki page for annoying?
	Let me just see.
	Annoying.com.
	Annoying wiki.
	Let me just see if there's a wiki page for annoying.
	Annoyance.
	We could do annoyance and just put a picture of her there.
	Yeah, why not?
	Open the wiki page annoying if you can.
	Let's see what we got.
	There is no wiki.
	There's only annoyance.
	But I think we can do annoying and just put a picture of her.
	Let's see how long that lasts.
	Yeah.
	Oh, my goodness.
	So, actually, before we go on to my parallel story about stooges in the media, which essentially, by the way, is part of the war on chicken.
	Oh, my goodness.
	Don't wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
	for those of you just joining the program.
	The War on Chicken.
	Get up, get up.
	I think we should thank our executive producers.
	Okay.
	You're teasing me, John.
	Stop that.
	All right.
	Okay, so we do have some executive producers we want to thank for today's show.
	Number 402, including Keith Bradshaw from Statesville, North Carolina, came in with $404.
	He's ready for the 404 show, gets a double credit.
	And he's the 404 Club, so he'll get another mention on 404 because people get two mentions for these special shows.
	I believe this donation, which means he should be executive producer twice.
	I believe this donation should put me over the 1,000 mark.
	It should be knighted.
	And he'd like to send out a douchebag call out to listeners in the great state of Carolina who have not paid a dime to support this great show.
	Douchebag!
	Hell yeah, Keith Bradshaw.
	There you go.
	Soon to be Sir Keith.
	Great.
	We'll knight him later today.
	And then we have one, two, three, four, five associate executive producers, including George Tangent from Invergrove Heights, Minnesota.
	$250.
	A great show on Thursday made me realize I've been remiss in my support.
	This citizen has a front lines report.
	Ron Paul won 20 of 24 delegate spots in our just concluded congressional district conventions in Minnesota.
	He can pick up 13 more at the state convention next month.
	Very disappointed the media failed to even mention this news.
	Stupidly thinking the game is over after the straw poll on caucus night.
	How about a karma for my smoking hot wife who is looking for a full-time job?
	You betcha.
	You've got karma.
	His nickname is Chip.
	Chip.
	Oh, and in London, $250.
	I assume that's London, England.
	Yep.
	Get Mo Nation East, he says in the morning, John and Adam and listening to the best podcast in the universe from here and get Mo Nation Olympics orgasm for a couple of months.
	I've been trying to pronounce that a million different.
	Olympogasm.
	Olympogasm.
	And you guys are simply the best out there.
	Can I get some new job karma for an interview I have this week so I can get on the next rung of the slave ladder and two to the head for any candidates out there would be useful too.
	Yeah, I know how the game is played.
	Thanks for the great work.
	All right, we'll give you two to the head karma then, I guess.
	You've got karma.
	I don't know if that cancels each other out.
	I don't know.
	It's Scott in Dawsonville, Georgia.
	$202.02.
	Scott, sorry I haven't donated in a while, but I'm donating drunk again.
	I want the hookers and booze, but I can't decide if...
	If I should get them via a no-agenda knighthood, or if I should just get a government job with a secret service.
	Brother.
	I think I'll work toward the knighthood.
	I don't need any karma right now, but I appreciate a good slide whistle duet.
	Hey, citizen.
	Perfect!
	That was actually a duet worthy of an executive producer donation, I think.
	That was really good.
	That was good, yeah.
	Meanwhile, Greg Sizemore, somewhere in Germany, comes in with $200.
	Find myself humming clippity-clop at work today, reminding me that I've not donated in a while, so here you go, well-deserved and overdue.
	Keep up the good work.
	Please send some karma and a milf for my hot girlfriend.
	All right, let's do a little combo there.
	Milf?
	That's one, motherfucker.
	I like this.
	You've got karma.
	Sweet!
	And finally, with no attribution or note, Diego Medina in Rio, which is nice.
	Nice neck of the woods.
	For real?
	Cool.
	$200.
	And I'll look for, see if he has a note, and we can read it at the break.
	I want to thank them and all the other executive producers, producers that came in.
	We'll talk about halfway through the show.
	Go to dvorak.org slash n-a.
	To help us stay on the air, channeldvorak.com slash na noagendanation.com and noagendashow.com both have a donation button if you want to go from that perspective.
	Yes, and remember that 404 is a special show.
	It will not go missing.
	It will actually be available, and you can get a double credit if you get in before the 404 show, and you just go to dvorak.org slash na to PR mention.
	I'm sorry?
	I was going to say, don't forget we have a 420 show coming up, even though the people don't seem to be a bunch of stoners anymore.
	Well, that's a bummer.
	Everyone's growing up on the show.
	It's a bummer, man.
	Two PR mentions.
	We've got a new toolbar out there, which I want to make mention of.
	Noagendashow.rtoolbar.com.
	Nice little toolbar.
	It's got the No Agenda search in there.
	It's got the show notes, live stream, chat, news network, everything.
	It's all set up.
	And I've been working with one of our producers, Will.
	I think he's in Gitmo Nation East.
	I'm not sure.
	And I'm going to give out the website that you'll be able to get the app from.
	It's going to be approved any day now.
	I think it usually happens on a Sunday or a Monday, so I wanted to get it in now.
	If you go to nanewsapp.com, this thing, I have to say, has got me excited.
	This looks like, just look at the page, John, nanewsapp.com.
	He's just waiting for Apple to approve it.
	And he's taken the structure of the OPML files that we publish in and it's made it really readable.
	Oh yeah, that would look great if you can get that in.
	How beautiful is that?
	And it works on the iPad.
	It's got a special version.
	It's a very nice little site he's put up here.
	Cool, isn't it?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that guy's good.
	It gives you full search.
	You can save pages.
	You can tweet Facebook.
	Right?
	Right.
	But the whole site is nice, too.
	So we're looking forward to that coming out and really appreciate the work he's done on that.
	And I'm sure as soon as the app is available, people...
	I don't know if he's giving it away or selling it.
	I don't know.
	We'll find out.
	It doesn't matter.
	It looks like a winner to me regardless.
	And, of course, you can always participate by propagating the formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	New world order.
	Everybody, you know it.
	Shut up!
	And of course, thanks to our associate executive producers for this program, for funding this program, along with our executive producer, Keith Bradshaw, who will be knighted later on.
	And as you know, you can always become an associate or a full-fledged executive producer of every single program.
	Go to dvorak.org slash NA. And unlike the phonies in Hollywood, these are real credits we will vouch for you if anyone questions your credit, or your knighthood for that matter.
	And we'll just put on the accent.
	Yes?
	Hello?
	This is Count Curry?
	Is this true?
	Is this completely true?
	Yeah.
	Sir, whatever.
	Our knighthoods are as valid as anyone's.
	Absolutely.
	So, I was watching the President's show.
	The President's reality show.
	Yeah?
	Oh, yeah.
	Your favorite viewing.
	Oh, yeah.
	I and 300 other people watch this show, apparently.
	And it's still called the Presidential Radio Address, but of course it's on YouTube and on whitehouse.gov, which is right next to results.gov on the spectrum.
	I just want to remind, I've clipped this now, it's been annoying me for so long about...
	You know, if you were asked, John, if you were President of the United States, and you would say, what do we stand for as a country?
	And you just had a little slogan.
	What would it sound like?
	Freedom and liberty!
	No.
	We've got to build an economy where everyone gets a fair shot.
	Everyone does their fair share.
	And everyone plays by the same set of rules.
	It's over and over again.
	Fair shot, fair share, same set of rules.
	Really?
	Can I take the 747 to Hawaii?
	So, but what I'm thinking, like, you get a fair shot.
	He's really not saying it's equal.
	He's just saying, you know, you get a fair shot.
	You know, you get your shot, but you don't really get to play.
	You just get a fair shot.
	It's like halftime.
	That's where you get to play.
	And everyone plays by the same set of rules.
	Just repeating it over and over and over again.
	It's like Goebbels rule number one.
	Just make up a lie and repeat it.
	Goebbels.
	Yeah, Goebbels.
	There's no R in that, by the way.
	It's Goebbels.
	There's no R. Sounds like it.
	Yeah, I know.
	So instead of wishing everybody a happy Earth Day, which I kind of expected him to do, as today is Earth Day, Erk Day, he decided to continue with his campaign.
	And although we discussed this, wow, I'm going to say six months ago, maybe longer than that, now, of course, on the radar as he's fueling up the jet, To go and visit colleges, he's going to try and scam college students into voting for him.
	And I've looked into some of the actual truth of what he says here.
	To take out loans to pay for college, graduate owing an average of $25,000.
	For the first time, Americans owe more debt on their student loans than they do on their credit cards.
	And for many working families, the idea of owing that much money means that higher education is simply out of reach for their children.
	Now, in America, higher education cannot be a luxury.
	It's an economic imperative that every family must be able to afford.
	Notice what he keeps talking about, it being affordable.
	This has nothing to do with making college more affordable.
	This has to do with making loans accessible to pay for the unaffordable college education.
	Yeah, the whole thing's been jacked up to an extreme, and doubling and doubling, and just tuitions, and then the overhead of going to the school.
	Yeah, no, it's now costing approximately...
	Well, hold on.
	He'll tell you.
	He'll tell you.
	That's why next week I'll be visiting colleges across the country, talking to students about how we can make higher education more affordable.
	More affordable?
	No, no, you're a liar.
	It's not about making education more affordable.
	It's about...
	Making loans more accessible.
	What's at stake right now if Congress doesn't do something about it?
	You see, if Congress doesn't act, on July 1st, interest rates on some student loans will double.
	Notice he says interest rates on some student loans will double.
	That sounds kind of shocking, doesn't it?
	Aren't you like, oh my goodness, oh wow, my loan's going to double.
	Lie.
	What is happening here is very interesting.
	In 2007, the College Cost Reduction and Access Act was signed by then President Bush.
	And what this is, it set out a government loan schedule, and starting in 2008, it basically gave the amount of money that we would make available for college loans.
	And in 2008, that was $2 billion.
	And it says, right here in the document, it says that by July 2012...
	1st of July 2012, 3.4% would be owed on unpaid principal balance of a loan.
	So that's basically your percentage amount.
	And there's all kinds of provisions in this act, which I have in the show notes, 402.nashownotes.com, marked up for your convenience and highlighted.
	They could continue this until 2018.
	In fact, right here in the document, it even says, you know, we've got $5 billion available for fiscal 2017.
	So all they have to do is just simply say, you know what, why don't we just continue this?
	It's not expiring.
	It's not ending necessarily.
	There's all kinds of provisions to continue this perfectly through 2018.
	Instead...
	He takes one little piece of it and says, oh, no, you're all screwed because we're just not going to renew this.
	We have to do something new.
	We have to do something else.
	So that's line number one.
	Seven and a half million students.
	And by the way, it's not for existing loans.
	Only if you get a new loan on or before July 1st, 2012.
	Students will end up owing more on their loan payments.
	Bullshit.
	It's not true.
	Your current loan payment stays the same.
	That'd be a tremendous blow.
	And it's completely preventable.
	This issue didn't come out of nowhere.
	For some time now, I've been calling on Congress to take steps to make higher education more affordable.
	No, no, no.
	You're lying.
	It's the same thing as health care.
	You're not making health care accessible.
	You're making insurance policies accessible.
	It's very important.
	I think you've made this point.
	To prevent these interest rates from doubling.
	To extend the tuition tax credit that saved middle-class families millions of dollars.
	And to double the number of work-study jobs over the next five years.
	Instead, over the past few years, Republicans in Congress have voted against new ways to make college more affordable for middle-class families while voting for huge new tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires.
	Okay.
	So there's the PR, exactly.
	So I looked at the new legislation for us, what's being proposed.
	And this is HR 4170.
	And what are they calling this thing?
	They're calling it the Student Loan Forgiveness Act of 2012.
	Wow, this is a very interesting document, John.
	And it's just kind of interesting to read some of the language.
	Congress finds the following.
	A well-educated citizenry is critical to our nation's ability to complete in the global economy.
	Hey, citizen.
	Yes.
	And then he goes into the total outstanding student loan debt is $1 trillion.
	Okay, we got all that.
	Loan repayment plan authorized.
	Notwithstanding any other provision of this act, the Secretary shall carry out a program to be known as the 10-10 loan repayment plan.
	And they're heralding this as something completely new, but it is exactly the same 10-10 repayment plan as in the 2007 act.
	So I'm like, well, why are they doing this?
	Why are they doing the exact same thing?
	What they've done is they are allowing the Secretary of the Treasury, little Timmy Geithner, to roll up all the existing loans, even commercial ones, and then the government will then pay those loans off and take the note, but they're paying off the banks.
	But it's not in 10 years, it's now.
	This is what everyone's getting wrong.
	They're going to consolidate, there's a whole consolidation authorization for the Secretary of the Treasury to consolidate everyone's loans now, put you on the new plan, and pay off the banks now.
	While everyone's talking about, oh, in 10 years it'll be a bailout.
	No, no.
	The bailout is now.
	And here's the crazy thing.
	Where do you think this money comes from to pay for these loans that we're going to pay off the banks with?
	This is what blew me away.
	What?
	The overseas contingency operations budget.
	What?
	Funds appropriated or otherwise made available for a fiscal year to carry out this act, and the amendments made by this act, shall be made available from the funds available for overseas contingency operations, which is the new word for the war on terrorism.
	It is the $680 billion that is earmarked for military.
	They're going to take it out of that budget.
	That's awfully peculiar.
	You think?
	Well, what do you think's going on here?
	You're digging into it.
	Well, no one has done any analysis on this part of it, so I've been looking around.
	I can only think that what they'll have to do is they'll have to come back later and say, oh, well, you know, we had to save all of our students, and now we need more money for the military.
	I mean, it's got to be a hook for the military-industrial complex.
	There's no other way.
	I'm like, that's one...
	Yeah, that would make some sense.
	There's no other reason for this.
	And of course, the whole thing's a scam anyway, because they're not forgiving anybody's loans.
	No.
	These poor kids are walking out of college with $80,000, $100,000 in debt with a high interest rate, and they never catch up.
	It's like having a credit card that's so backed up that all you can do is make payments on interest.
	There is something interesting, though, that if you...
	If you go into service for the government, you can have your loan forgiven after your payments basically stop if you start working for the government.
	If payments stop, does that mean that when you stop working for the government, you're back?
	No, you have to do the 10 years in government.
	10 years?
	Yeah, so if you get out of college and go to work for the government, you get all kinds of breaks.
	If you join the army.
	Yes, army, but anything.
	And any government position.
	Huh.
	But it has to be federal government?
	What about state and local?
	No, I think it has to be federal.
	So TSA or something, you know, something groovy like that.
	Well, that's job incentive.
	Yeah.
	No, I just thought that to be quite interesting.
	So one, bail out of the banks now.
	How are we paying for it?
	Well, we have the money.
	It's been appropriated.
	So we have the money for, we have the budget.
	We don't have any money.
	We have the budget for the military, so we're just going to take it out of that.
	And then, you know, when we need some more, we'll go, oh, well, we saved everybody.
	We didn't save the kids.
	We saved the banks.
	Jason Chavitz.
	Who's that?
	Chavitz.
	That's the guy in the committee.
	Yeah.
	Sorry.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He's from Utah.
	So I thought that was interesting that the bailout for the banks happens now.
	It's a scam.
	No, but it's a bailout for the banks right now.
	And how...
	Yeah, they don't want to deal with it.
	They know this is turning into a disaster.
	They want to get out of the deal.
	So they got Obama to agree to some sort of a scheme.
	He did.
	And now they're off scot-free.
	They did what they had to do.
	They scammed the students of America.
	And now they let the president continue the scam in some other way.
	So while we're on that, they finally signed the agreement.
	With all the banks, remember the big $26 billion deal that the president had done?
	This is, what is the, nationalmortgagesettlement.com.
	Remember we looked at that website?
	Yep.
	Okay.
	So they filed all the papers, and I looked at them for you.
	So they did settlements with Allied, GMAC, Bank of America, Citi, JPMorgan, and Wells Fargo.
	And each document, each of these consent agreements, is 328 pages long.
	I will say that they have a little thing there, which is the Settlement Executive Summary.
	And that's pretty accurate, although I found some other interesting things in the consent agreements themselves.
	So the deal is, you know, we get this big number, $26 billion.
	Yeah, bullcrap.
	What it comes down to is there's a $5 million cash payment.
	$5 billion, I'm sorry.
	$5 billion paid by the banks, of which Bank of America and Citi pay most.
	So Bank of America, I think, does three, and Citi does a little over two.
	Of that $5 billion, $1.48 billion is actually being paid out to people who got foreclosed on incorrectly, which boils down to $2,000 for about a million people.
	Congratulations!
	How cool is that?
	You get two grand.
	We got your house.
	Screw you.
	Shut up, slave.
	The rest of that five billion goes to the states, to the attorney generals of the states, to do with as they wish.
	It's like a fine.
	It's like a penalty.
	So $400 million goes to California and then all the rest is kind of split up.
	That's the big number and all the rest is split up amongst others.
	Texas gets probably about $300 million and the Attorney General can do whatever they want with that.
	And they're all going to put it towards education so that never happens again?
	Right.
	So that money's getting sucked up.
	Oh, yeah.
	So where's the other $21 billion?
	Well, it's not actually being paid.
	And they say it right here on the fact sheet.
	At least $10 billion will be dedicated...
	To reducing principal for borrowers, according to the rules.
	Refinancing.
	At least $3 billion will be dedicated to a refinancing program.
	Other forms of relief.
	Services will be required to dedicate up to $7 billion.
	And then they've got some wording about credit they get for some of their required activities.
	And I looked at how this works.
	Essentially, this document...
	Is all the rules as to how they can now go and foreclose on people.
	And they can even have a margin of error of up to 5% of mistakes that they can make on foreclosures.
	Because, of course, there's so many foreclosures coming that they're pretty sure that there's no way they can do every single one of them accurately according to the new rules.
	So they get a 5% margin of error on almost every single category of foreclosure.
	And this will all be monitored.
	By a commercial third party.
	And this is the only other piece I pulled out of this document that I thought was interesting.
	Because you can't forget about it.
	If you want any money from this money that's been dedicated, you cannot have had one payment late in the past 18 months.
	You can't have just no delinquencies.
	There's no way you're going to get any of this money that's been dedicated.
	Which is actually not going anywhere.
	They don't have to pay anything.
	They just have to make some reservation.
	So this is all a shocker to you.
	I just want people to understand it.
	Here's the one that was kind of nuts.
	The monitor must agree to not be retained by any party or its successors or assigns for a period of two years after the conclusion of the terms.
	So this is the revolving door, right?
	So I'm going to monitor you.
	So, okay, that makes sense.
	However, any professional who should work on the engagement only has to agree to not work for any of the parties for one year.
	And then they have...
	That would be a contractor.
	Yeah, the contractors.
	And then subcontractors of the contractors, six months.
	So you just set it up that way.
	Yeah, of course.
	You just say, hey man, I'll look the other way, and in six months you hire me.
	Okay.
	300 pages of rules on how to foreclose on you.
	So you watch, we already talked about it, you watch the storm is coming now, and nothing you can do about it.
	But they're going to foreclose on everything.
	No, they're just stealing houses.
	Yes.
	I mean, there was a good story in one of the local shows, or maybe it had been on one of the network shows, about this poor bastard who owned his house outright.
	Right.
	And they foreclosed on him.
	They had no documentation that they had anything to do with him.
	And they went right down to the end before it was just a last-minute thing where some judge threw the whole thing out saying, this is bogus.
	But meanwhile, the cops were at the door.
	The guy owned the house.
	He'll get $2,000 for his trouble.
	That's the cap.
	Yeah, that's the cap.
	It's just, this document, I mean, you can just see how...
	They probably spent $20 billion in legal fees just making sure they set it up right.
	You know, and it's just sad.
	Really sad.
	You know, the thing is, the way to solve this problem, I think, still, is that if the banks own the property because they foreclose and now they own it.
	Let them pay property tax.
	I agree.
	Where's the property tax?
	I agree.
	In fact, it's killing these states that have these large bank holdings of property they're not paying taxes on.
	Or they're making the argument that, well, when we sell it, part of the sale price will be the taxes.
	No.
	Either make them pay the tax or do what they do with everybody else who's delinquent.
	Put the property on the market, auction it off, out from under the banks.
	The banks get nothing.
	Yeah, that would be wrong because the banks are paying for everyone's re-election or for the campaign.
	Did you hear about Corzine?
	No, it's Corzine up to now.
	Oh, this is great.
	How come this guy's not in jail?
	I'll tell you.
	Well, there's a very simple answer to that.
	So, John Corzine, just to remind everybody, he, former Goldman Sachs, and Obama and Joe Biden literally blowing the guy during the 2008 campaign because he brought in a lot of donations.
	Very powerful guy in the banking sector.
	And he basically stole customer funds, and he operated without a license, and you're not hearing anything.
	The Justice Department is really not doing anything about it.
	And if you wonder why, well, on Friday, the Obama administration released their donors, their list of campaign donors, and John Corzine is listed as raising at least $500,000 as a bundler, and For the president's re-election campaign.
	So let me see.
	If the guy's raising money for the re-election campaign, you might not want to throw him in jail.
	Well, he won't get thrown in jail.
	No, of course not.
	Because he's very powerful and he's bringing in the dough.
	500 million, it's 500 million plus is the category.
	He's listed right there.
	Okay.
	Oh yeah, well, there you go.
	Nobody makes us think about this.
	No, of course not.
	All these Obama bots.
	No.
	No, of course not.
	You want to know who else has been donating?
	I noticed that he's actually on the Obama-Biden...
	I mean, he's on their website.
	Yeah.
	It's funny.
	Yeah.
	This is Obama-Biden.
	So we also have Ken Lewis, former Bank of America CEO. Also, he's in the between $200,000 and $500,000 category.
	At least nine people don't even live in America, including investor and businessman Robert Roche from Shanghai.
	Not sure how that works.
	I guess that was something illegal about that.
	No, not in this world.
	Not in this world.
	And let's see.
	I'm looking at this list now.
	Yeah, it's a big list.
	Huge list of the over $500,000 donors.
	And yet they keep saying that 98% of the money comes from people sending in 50 bucks.
	And actually, if you're on this mailing list, the big thing they're trying to do, and I don't know what the point of this solicitation is, but you know, because they have all these, they're having another dinner.
	Obama has the mailings you get from the White House on whatever mailing list I'm on.
	There's a dinner and you get to sit with Obama.
	Not just Obama.
	Not just Obama.
	George Clooney.
	You've got something going on and you need a distraction.
	Call Clooney.
	Call Clooney.
	You can have a dinner with Clooney, of course, if you donate $3.
	And, of course, that's an illegal lottery unless they allow you to just throw your name in the pot.
	They do.
	Which they do, but if you look where they do it, it's in the fine print.
	Well, it's always in the fine print, John.
	With a link in the fine print, which is not even highlighted.
	You have to fumble around with your mouse to find it, and then you can click on that.
	So I entered a couple times.
	You entered?
	Yeah.
	For Clooney, right?
	That's why.
	I entered in the other one, too.
	I entered in both of them.
	Of course, you know what goes on.
	Things are a scam.
	But there's a large list.
	We actually look up a few of these bundlers.
	So I was thinking, just going back to the student thing and all the money that's going to be flowing, wouldn't it be an interesting model for us to start our own online university?
	Yeah, because no one's ever done that.
	Well, yeah, but we do...
	We could do the No Agenda University, NAU. Well, but listen, it's like you attend a lecture twice a week, and you have to pay $1,000 tuition fee, which you can borrow from the government.
	Right?
	You with me?
	I think you can only borrow from the government if the institution is accredited.
	Accredited, right.
	Mark Benioff is on the $500,000 plus.
	Oh, the Salesforce guy?
	Yeah.
	Mm-hmm.
	Go on.
	But accreditation is not a government function.
	It's independent companies that do that, so you can pay them off.
	Ah, possibly.
	Yeah.
	Which brings us to another story.
	Why don't we just...
	We should consider that, man.
	Jeffrey Katzenberg.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, but because this $35 million castle won't be ready in time, they're going to do the little fundraiser at Clooney's house.
	That's interesting, people local.
	Anyway, there was a news story I wanted to talk about.
	Actually, I should...
	Well, let me put this off.
	After the break, we'll talk about my discovery about what's really going on with the war on chicken.
	Yeah.
	I'm still on Slave University.
	I want to start Slave U. Slave U. So the top of the page on the New York Times today, and maybe you have some thoughts on this, but apparently Walmart, have you heard about this?
	Yeah, the corruption in Mexico.
	Which, by the way, is a huge illegal thing to do in the United States, requiring prison time.
	What did they do?
	What did they do exactly?
	They apparently bribed their way to all these large stores in Mexico.
	There was no way they could have put any of these stores in because they had to pay off a million guys.
	And so the Times has got this huge story on this, and it's obvious that...
	Walmart executives are violating U.S. law to an extreme to have all these Mexican stores.
	So I want to, just gentlemen's back, do you think anyone from Walmart is going to go to prison over this?
	With this in mind, Martha Stewart?
	Wait a minute, is anyone from Walmart on the donation list?
	I don't know.
	That's where I would look.
	That's your answer.
	Well, I don't see any, but I still don't believe that we're going to see this conspiracy involved in this one.
	Because the executives apparently knew about this.
	But it's in Mexico.
	American laws don't apply.
	No, no, no.
	American law applies to American companies.
	You cannot engage in bribery in a foreign country.
	Oh, is that true?
	It's very straightforward.
	Oh, I didn't realize that.
	Yeah, if you do that, you are subject to American imprisonment.
	It's extremely harsh.
	Well, the good news is that you can put two executives to a prison cell because they're already used to that.
	Isn't that their big thing where they're always like, yeah, when we travel, we stay two executives to a room to save money.
	I really doubt these executives at Walmart are going to to a room.
	Oh yeah, no, this is their culture.
	Oh yeah, it's really frightening.
	Well I know, the New York Times is emphasizing the culture, this honesty and all this other stuff.
	But if they're staying two to a room...
	Yeah, they put them two to a cell.
	You can put four to a cell for all I care.
	No one's going to jail.
	Of course not.
	The only people going to jail is you and me, buddy.
	Major, major, major scandal.
	Anyway, we'll see who goes to jail.
	It's irrelevant because we're talking about hookers and the Secret Service and who gives a crap.
	It's totally irrelevant.
	We've been so distracted.
	It's like the Netherlands.
	You want to talk about a coincidence?
	So the government of the Netherlands, big news, looks like the cabinet's going to fall because they can't agree to the austerity measures being pushed on them by the Troika from Brussels.
	They have to cut 16 billion euros in something.
	And from what I'm understanding, it's going to come from screwing it, sticking it to old people.
	And Geert Wilders, who his party helps make up the majority that runs the government, he walked away from the bargaining table and said, no, we just can't agree to this, so there's a no-confidence vote, and the expectation is that Monday the cabinet will fall, which will mean new elections, which is kind of interesting because everyone's having elections.
	We've got France starting today, Greece next week, so we might as well do the Netherlands, and it If we're lucky, we'll get some kind of banker guy from the World Bank or IMF or Goldman Sachs to become the Prime Minister.
	So, of course, everyone's like, whoa, this is big news.
	And then two trains crash into each other.
	Guess what the top of the news is?
	Let me think.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Luckily, no one was killed, but there were some serious injuries.
	Literally two trains, head-on collision.
	Not a real, not like a, you know, the conductors weren't killed.
	It's not like a smash where the trains are all over each other.
	You can see them on the track just sitting there like they bumped.
	But, you know, people go flying and they break legs and necks and all kinds of stuff.
	So I'm just thinking someone, like, said, we've got to get this off the front page.
	We don't want anyone thinking about what we're doing with the government.
	Quick, switch the tracks.
	Yeah, well, that's what they do.
	Yeah.
	So, I've got a clip that might lighten things up.
	Okay.
	I was watching while you were busy digging through the student loan thing.
	I was busy watching the fantastic convention of the Constitution Party.
	Oh, I didn't know they had a convention.
	Oh, yeah.
	What is the Constitution Party?
	Let me see, write it down here.
	What is the Constitution Party?
	The Constitution Party is kind of like one of those third parties.
	Is that something for me?
	Is that something I would be interested in?
	Yeah, you're almost along the lines.
	It's a libertarian, quasi-libertarian operation.
	They have a lot of Second Amendment stuff, like guns.
	Guns, yeah.
	Guns.
	They want to end the Department of Education.
	It's all Ron Paul stuff except...
	There's no Ron Paul.
	Except there's a couple of things that Ron Paul...
	They're all for traditional marriage.
	Big deal.
	And Ron Paul doesn't care.
	Right.
	And they want to end the Patriot Act.
	Well, I'm all for that.
	Yeah, I'm all for that.
	They want to end illegal immigration.
	Anyways, it's kind of like a Ron Paul.
	They want to end foreign aid.
	It sounds like a Ron Paul.
	The guy that's their candidate will be announced with this clip, but it's a new segment.
	I'd like to have a jingle for this.
	Oh, okay.
	I want to do a segment where I dig up a clip and then you have to deal with the question, drunk or not drunk?
	Now we're in a situation.
	No, no, no.
	No, no, no.
	Drunk or not drunk is the clip.
	You're playing our guy.
	I'm sorry.
	I misunderstood.
	Here we go.
	Thank you.
	Thank you for coming back in here.
	It is now my distinct pleasure and honor to introduce the presidential nominee, a candidate for the Constitution Party.
	It is, of course, Virgil H. Goode, Jr., who hails from Rocky Mount, Virginia.
	He was born in Richmond, Virginia in October 17, I'm sorry, 1946.
	He received his B.A. from the University of Richmond, his J.D. from the University of Virginia Law School.
	He served in the Virginia Army National Guard.
	He's an attorney by trade.
	He served as a legislator in the Virginia Army.
	General Assembly in Virginia State Senate.
	He was served 12 years as a U.S. Representative in the U.S. Congress.
	He's married to Lucy Good, and they have a daughter, Catherine.
	I would point out that with his 12 years of service in the U.S. Congress, he served in federal office longer than Barack Obama or Mitt Romney combined.
	And so with that, for his acceptance speech, let's welcome Virgil Goode, Jr.
	I'd say not drunk, but retarded.
	Is that a choice?
	You can say whatever you want.
	All I know is just the first segment, I think he welcomed them back from apparently a long lunch, and I think he had a couple.
	Can I do a high or not high on you?
	Just as a quick intermezzo, 20 seconds.
	Victoria Nuland, press conference on Friday.
	High or not high?
	Wow.
	I noticed that only one of you is working on your figure, or both of you.
	I couldn't help myself.
	High or not high?
	High.
	High.
	I think it's only whacked.
	Definitely high.
	High.
	Okay, thanks.
	So this guy, first of all, let's take a look at this convention and their nominee.
	The convention is held, as I wrote it down, at the Sheraton.
	Music City, Sheraton, and Nashville, which is not the same as the Grand Ole Opry Hotel, which is a beautiful place.
	It's a small...
	It just looks like a crowd of a couple hundred people.
	That's, I think, the whole party.
	And they need diction lessons.
	Here's the presidential candidate speaking.
	The Constitution Party needs diction lessons.
	Now we're in a situation where our debt...
	It's $15.7 trillion, and our deficit under the Obama budget is $1.3 trillion, and under the Ryan Republican budget, it is $600 billion.
	With the Constitution Party's philosophy and viewpoint, With which I agree, we need to cut Naya, balance Naya, not five to ten years down the road.
	Naya?
	Naya!
	You gotta...
	Suck the head, Naya!
	He's from Virginia?
	Naya.
	Is that a Virginia accent that you know of?
	Oh yeah.
	Southern Virginia?
	Well, absolutely.
	We gotta go Naya.
	Naya, let's go.
	Well, I miss Gordon.
	I do declare you give me the Vipers, but you maybe want to touch me down there, Naya.
	So anyway, so that guy's not going to win it.
	I cannot.
	No, there's a couple things we can guarantee.
	You do not get in with Naya.
	Now, I have to say, I listened to his acceptance speech.
	Naya!
	So you didn't have to.
	And he dropped one little bomb in there, and even the audience was like, what is he talking about?
	I didn't know this existed.
	I had no idea about this.
	I think it's kind of funny.
	But he bitches and moans about something called the diversity visa.
	Have you ever heard of this?
	Diversity visa.
	No, I don't.
	I do declare I don't think I've heard of that, Naya.
	Should we listen to it, Naya?
	Play it.
	I was always a supporter of ending diversity visas.
	This is 50,000 persons per year that can come in on a lottery system.
	You can be from the Middle East, Africa, Asia, wherever.
	And even though you are nowhere near the front of the legal immigration line, if you apply for the diversity visa pool and you get in that lottery system and they pull your number, in you come.
	Hell yeah!
	Again, why bring in so many persons, many of whom are of working age, when our unemployment is so high?
	It is the wrong course for the nation, and if I'm president, I will sign and work for the legislation to end those diversity visas.
	Naya!
	Yeah, this is the green card lottery.
	It's a lottery.
	I'm very familiar with that.
	You've never heard of this?
	Now, I didn't know it was called a diversity visa.
	Well, to call it, you know, a lottery sucks.
	They got to give it a cool name, diversity.
	It's a diversity.
	It's a diversity.
	Biodiversity visa.
	Naya!
	What's the point of it?
	It's to give you, it's essentially, okay, here's what it is.
	Do you have to pay ten bucks?
	I mean, can they make money off this thing?
	No, let me tell you what's going on.
	If you look under Versity Visa, anyone out there can get all this data, but go on.
	So let me explain what's happening.
	So I know a lot of people who want to move to America.
	A lot of people who want visas.
	Ms.
	Mickey, as an example, has an O-1 visa.
	And that is a visa based upon artistic talents she has that are unique to the United States of Gitmo Nation.
	So, exactly.
	Now, of course, we're going to get married and we're going to the chapel.
	And we'd like to have her here without having to renew.
	So she wants a full-time visa.
	So the way the laws are set up is if you're married, then you can get a full-time visa that is good.
	I think it's 10 years or something, but it's not going to expire.
	So what a lot of people do is they'll come in either on a temporary tourist visa, which is valid for six months, in some cases three, but usually six, and they will apply for their O-1 or their HB-1 or other status, and while you're waiting, While you're waiting, it's cool to play a lottery.
	I mean, it's like while you're working towards retirement, you play the lottery.
	Because, you know, oh, maybe I'll get lucky and maybe I'll make a million bucks or a hundred million or I'll get the mega millions or whatever.
	It's just to make you feel good.
	And you do hear stories.
	I know people who've won the lottery and like, whoop, they get a visa.
	But here's the kicker.
	So in order, so Miss Mickey's visa, after we have our paperwork in order, then we send $1,600 to the Department of Homeland Security.
	You with me?
	Yeah.
	And then you can either wait three to six months, or for an additional $1,000, you get fast-tracked and you'll have your decision within three days.
	Well, that's one way of making money.
	That's a total, total, total rip-off.
	Yeah, total.
	$2,600.
	I don't want to be waiting three to six months.
	Of course, you could always just play the lottery in the meantime.
	So that's what it's for.
	It's to give you a semblance of the American dream.
	And yeah, I think it is 50,000.
	What I will look at, I will look at today after the show, I'll find out how the numbers are drawn.
	They've got to have some rules, like the lottery rules.
	Right?
	There's a webpage called Electronic Diversity Visa Lottery, dvlottery.state.gov, that covers some of this.
	I don't know that the rules are in here.
	I doubt that they tell you how it...
	I mean, is it a computer?
	Do they roll the dice?
	Do they pick names out of a hat?
	I think balls.
	Little ping-pong balls with numbers on them.
	I think you're right.
	In fact...
	An eight...
	By the way, the Internet Explorer browser best supports this application.
	I'm just saying.
	On their page.
	Applicant entry system.
	Who knows?
	I mean, we can find out.
	We can find out how they do it.
	Well, they've closed the latest, apparently the latest lottery.
	The latest round, yeah.
	But don't you, when you get married, don't you just become an American citizen?
	The paperwork costs...
	They do all kinds of background checks.
	So the paperwork is $1,600.
	If you want to hear within three business days, it's an additional $1,000.
	Make your check out.
	Cashier's check.
	That's for citizenship, right?
	No.
	No, no, no.
	What about citizenship?
	That's what I'm asking.
	No, no.
	Citizenship can only be obtained after five years, after she's lived here for five years, and then she has to take the test.
	Married.
	Well, under a permanent visa.
	Green card.
	And then she has to take the test.
	She has to take a test?
	Oh yeah, what color is the White House?
	I'm not kidding.
	Who's dead in Grant's tomb?
	Haven't we done this test?
	This test is amazing.
	You would fail the test, by the way.
	I doubt it.
	Okay, Citizens Test USA. They've got the questions here.
	There's all kinds here.
	Uh, citizens' tests.
	Okay.
	Sample INS citizens' questions.
	You ready, John?
	Don't look, okay?
	No.
	Alright.
	What are the colors of our flag?
	Red, white, and blue.
	How many stars are there on our flag?
	Fifty.
	What color are the stars on our flag?
	White.
	What do the stars on the flag mean?
	They represent the state.
	So what kind of a dumb test is this?
	How many stripes are there in the flag?
	Thirteen.
	What color are the stripes?
	White and red.
	You can't be reading from the test.
	I am reading from the test.
	This is not a test about anything except the flag.
	This is the current United States Immigration Service test.
	Are you ready?
	What is the 4th of July?
	Come on.
	It's the anniversary of the American Revolution.
	What is the date of Independence Day?
	Independence Day?
	Yeah.
	I think they're talking about when that movie with Will Smith was released.
	I don't know if it's not the 4th of July.
	No, it's July 4th.
	That's the whole joke.
	These two questions are one after another.
	Oh, that's just dumb.
	Independence from whom?
	The British.
	What country did we fight during the Revolutionary War?
	You're kidding.
	The British.
	I was going to say, you're kidding is not the correct answer.
	No, you are wrong.
	The British is not the correct answer.
	England would be the correct answer.
	Okay.
	Who was the first president of the United States?
	Okay, I've had enough of this test.
	It's idiotic.
	How many...
	No, this isn't...
	Okay, well, let me just ask you...
	George Washington, they can't get that?
	Let me...
	I mean, Mickey could pass this test already.
	Well, I hope so.
	Can you name, John, the original 13 states?
	Probably.
	Do you want me to name them?
	No, you probably can't.
	I can?
	Are you kidding me?
	Who said, give me liberty or give me death?
	Yeah.
	Uh-huh.
	Uh-huh.
	Just give me a second.
	No Googling.
	No Googling.
	All right.
	Paul Revere.
	No, Patrick Henry.
	Oh, Patrick Henry, right.
	Which countries were our enemies during World War II? Well, depends on what...
	There's lots, actually.
	The main ones, obviously, were Germany, Japan, and Italy.
	Very good.
	Very good.
	I think a lot of people might not have gotten Italy.
	Who was Martin Luther King Jr.?
	He was a famous preacher that started the Civil Rights Movement.
	I'm sorry.
	He was what?
	Famous what?
	I think he plays for the Knicks.
	I think he plays for the Knicks, is what you're supposed to answer.
	He plays for the Knicks.
	Okay, I can go that way.
	Go on.
	In what year was the Constitution written?
	1946.
	1787.
	Name one benefit of being a citizen of the United States.
	You can be droned.
	Yeah, very good.
	Alright, I think that's enough of that.
	That was fast, man.
	That was good.
	I like that.
	That was very good.
	So those are the questions.
	There are about 100 questions.
	And how many do you have to get right?
	Let me see if it tells us this information.
	I think if you had to get them all right, that would be kind of challenging.
	There's probably one gotcha in there.
	No, you don't have to get them all right.
	I think you should require them to get it all right.
	No, you're not required to get them all right.
	Of course not.
	Come on.
	You're not even required to get 60% on your driver's test.
	This is America, man.
	Are you crazy?
	We have no losers here.
	I can't find it.
	I can't find it.
	Somebody must know.
	Yeah.
	No.
	Prepare.
	But those are the types of questions you get.
	How many stars?
	How many stripes?
	You can literally look in the corner of the room where you're taking the test and count them, I guess.
	Yeah, I'm sure there's a big flag hanging there.
	You know there's going to be a flag.
	I can see guys sitting there going, one, two.
	Dos.
	Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco.
	There's an entire industry built around this test.
	Here, for only $199, pass the new U.S. citizenship test and interview DVD. Oh, man.
	This is great.
	We can make entire courses for this stuff.
	Wow.
	So, do you have anything on Hillary today?
	Because I have a clip of Hillary.
	Why, yes I do.
	Well, let me start with my humorous clip then.
	Well, no, we can't start a Hillary clip without...
	It's Clippity Clop.
	The message is clear.
	Yo, Clippity Clop.
	Yo.
	By the way, on this clip, I realize, I've always said, you know, this sounds familiar, sounds familiar, and now I'm going to have to go back and watch more of the Gay USA show with Ann Northrup.
	Uh-oh.
	Exactly the same voice.
	Oh, really?
	Are we playing?
	Are at a crucial turning point.
	Hold on, hold on, hold on.
	I've got to set this up.
	This is just a clip of Hillary so I can ring the bell when she says ah.
	Oh, that's funny.
	I have an ah clip too.
	Oh, okay.
	Where's this from?
	Where's your clip from?
	She's talking about Assad and some of this.
	Oh, well, we have the same clip.
	We are at a crucial turning point.
	No, we don't.
	Either we succeed in pushing forward with Kofi Annan's plan in accordance with the Security Council direction, with the help of monitors steadily broadening and deepening a zone of non-conflict and peace.
	Or we see Assad squandering his last chance before additional measures have to be considered.
	Now, we will continue to increase the pressure on Assad.
	Okay, so my clip.
	So that was her talking quickly.
	Have you ever heard her ahs when she talks slowly?
	No.
	So this is in Paris.
	So she went to Paris because, you know, she...
	Oh, she needs her hair done.
	I know.
	I saw her hair.
	It's dynamite.
	Yeah, dynamite.
	She had a new vest on.
	Yeah, she kicks ass in Paris.
	Now, do you want me to ring the bell?
	Yeah, you can ring the bell.
	Okay.
	And she, of course, was with Huma.
	So, you know, she got the...
	She got the flip-up curls on the hair, which I kind of like.
	The hair flips up at the shoulder level.
	But she has a very nice chiffon-type number on, which is just killer.
	I actually listened to what she was saying in between the ahs.
	So we need to continue to work and move toward a...
	I think we have to do more to take tougher actions against the Assad regime.
	We need to start moving very vigorously in the Security Council for a Chapter 7 sanctions resolution.
	Okay.
	So, there's a lot of ahs in there.
	And she's talking slowly.
	But I heard her say something important.
	Chapter 7 resolution.
	Yeah.
	Hmm.
	Chapter 7 of the United Nations Charter sets out the UN Security Council's powers to maintain peace.
	I love this double speak.
	That's fantastic.
	It allows the Council to, quote, determine the existence of any threat to the peace, breach of the peace, or act of aggression, and to take military action to restore international peace and security.
	Hmm.
	So we can use force to stop force to create peace.
	Black is white, yes is no, up is down, it's all backwards.
	So that's Andronum.
	Well, that's chapter 7, which she's calling for.
	Including travel, financial sanctions, an arms embargo, and the pressure that that will give us on the regime to push for compliance with Kofi Annan's six-point plan.
	Now, listen to this.
	At this point, such an effort is still likely to be vetoed, but we need to look for a way to keep pressing forward.
	I met at length with Sergey Lavrov earlier today in Brussels.
	He was, as usual, very intent upon laying responsibility on all sides.
	What does that mean when someone just does "ah" the whole time?
	That must mean something.
	It must be some psychological thing.
	We must have a listener that knows.
	Because when she's in front of the audience reading from a prompter, she really sounds great.
	But when she's just ad-libbing, she's saying, uh, uh, uh, constantly.
	Which reminds me, I remember some years back, someone was saying to me, I always think when she speaks, by the way, she speaks like she's speaking to a five-year-old.
	Every word is pronounced.
	And somebody says, oh, she's such a great speaker.
	No.
	So she says that Turkey will be calling for Article 4 of the North Atlantic Treaty.
	Article 4 is very short.
	The parties will consult together whenever, in the opinion of any of them, the territorial integrity, political independence, or security of any of the parties is threatened, which will lead to Article 5...
	The parties agree that an armed attack against one or more of them in Europe or North America shall be considered an attack against them all and consequently they agree that if such an armed attack occurs, each of them an exercise of the right of the individual or collective self-defense recognized by Article 51 of the Charter, they'll go and drone all those people who attack them.
	So the setup is there.
	It is good to go.
	And of course, questions were raised about this in the State Department briefing.
	Victoria Nuland, who you just heard, she was high, obviously, during this.
	You heard her laughing.
	She was completely high.
	And what caught my attention was the number of dollars that we are giving to Syria in aid.
	You can only guess what that number is.
	First, let me just advise that at the Syria Human Rights Forum in Geneva, Switzerland today, the U.S. Department of State and AID announced an additional $8 million in funding For those suffering from violence in Syria, bringing our total humanitarian assistance for Syria to nearly $33 million.
	Okay.
	You have my attention, Victoria Nuland.
	$33 million is going to be provided in aid.
	We know that's code of some sort.
	And, of course, a question comes from the press corps, who are quite good.
	At these events.
	So who are you giving the $33 million to?
	Well, it turns out they're going to a number of NGOs, non-governmental organizations, which of course are always sketchy because who the hell knows?
	You know, what are these organizations doing?
	What do they really do?
	But you need to shut up, slave.
	And she uses a term which I'd never heard before.
	Can we start with that Syrian aid?
	What is this money going toward?
	And then maybe afterwards you can explain what of that 33 million has gotten into Syria, how you get it in there, what challenges you're facing?
	Well, Brad, let me say first off that when we release this fact sheet, which will update the one that we have currently on our website, it will be a little bit clearer with more details, including all of the organizations that we fund.
	But just to remind that all of the U.S. humanitarian assistance goes through U.N. humanitarian organizations or NGOs, This is a good question, right?
	So you're going to give away this money to these NGOs?
	How are you going to vet these guys?
	Who knows?
	Are they going to be given arms or whatever?
	Here's some money.
	American taxpayers gave it to me.
	I'm just going to give it to you.
	Go ahead and do whatever you want.
	So how are you going to vet them?
	Good question.
	How do you know that they are not going to take this aid and sort of turn around and somehow illicitly provide arms?
	When you see the list, you will recognize every single name on there as a major internationally recognized organization.
	We're not giving this to Uncle Joe, who's playing around.
	Who's Uncle Joe?
	Biden.
	I guess.
	Uncle Joe Biden, who'd be playing around with the money.
	I've never heard of this expression before.
	Uncle, when you say, we're not giving it to Uncle Joe, who'll just play around with it, sounds like a pedophile uncle.
	Hey, I'm Uncle Joe.
	I've never heard that before.
	Oh, yeah, I've heard it before.
	It's not that new.
	It's an American phrase.
	Really?
	Uncle Joe.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I'm so schmoe.
	Well, Joe Schmoe, I know, but Uncle Joe?
	I've never heard of Uncle Joe.
	Maybe that's some dude we should be meeting.
	Uncle Joe.
	I'm telling you, it's Joe Biden.
	That's what they're talking about.
	We're not giving him money to Joe Biden.
	We can't do that.
	Uncle Joe's got the dough, I'm telling you.
	He's got the dough.
	There was...
	Let me see.
	So we had related to this, actually.
	We have a report from Bahrain, where we had the Formula One race is taking place as we speak, even right now.
	It's over a two-day period.
	And here's the report on the race.
	Bahraini authorities say they've opened an investigation following the discovery of a man's body after yesterday's anti-government protests descended into violence.
	Opposition party Wefak says the man was one of a group beaten up by officers as demonstrators clashed with police in Manama last night.
	Violence in the Gulf Arab state has escalated in the run-up to Sunday's Grand Prix.
	The Formula One race was cancelled last year because of political turmoil in Bahrain.
	The opposition says nothing's changed since then, so the race shouldn't be back on the calendar.
	A massive security operation is now in place to try to prevent the days of rage protests from affecting the event.
	So we've got people being...
	They moved it out to the middle of nowhere desert, of course.
	So people are being killed out there.
	They're going to have Burning Man there after the race is done.
	People have been killed.
	There's riots in the streets.
	There's all kinds of mayhem.
	The government is clearly hurting their own people.
	Let's ask Victoria Newland at the State Department if we're doing anything about that.
	The controversy over whether Bahrain is doing enough to comply with the terms of the Independent Commission's report should it have gone ahead with the F1 race this weekend.
	Yeah.
	That's obviously a decision for the Bahraini government to make.
	You know that we have expressed our support for a large number of measures that the Bahraini government has taken to implement the Independent Commission's investigation, but we've also been quite clear about the work that remains to be done.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Absolutely.
	Right, so what you're saying is that you didn't get in touch with them to register an opinion one way or another.
	We did not.
	No, of course not.
	We don't want to ruin the race.
	I pulled up the report, the Bahraini Independent Commission investigation on human rights violations.
	Let's see.
	Examination of the evidence shows that PSF, that's the police forces, they used shotguns on people.
	Let me see.
	They fired shotguns into crowds.
	They used shotguns during the execution of their duties that did not respect the obligation enshrined in Bahraini.
	Let me see.
	Units resorted to the disappropriate use of tear gas on many occasions.
	The number of tear gas canisters fired at protesters was disproportionate to the size.
	They also fired them at people's heads.
	PSF personnel kicked, beat, kicked and physically harassed individuals who were suspected of having participated in or sympathized with the protests that occurred in Bahrain.
	Okay.
	Let me see.
	In light of aforementioned, concludes that while it has found evidence establishing a purposeful practice of the use of lethal force...
	They have on many occasions used force and firearms where this was unnecessary.
	Okay, let me see what else you did.
	Hold on a second.
	I have it here.
	In all reported cases, individuals performing the arrest wore black hoods covering their heads.
	Oh, that's how the police should act.
	Yeah.
	The behavior of hooded security forces is a common practice.
	Let me see.
	They broke into houses through internal closed doors, terrorizing the inhabitants, including women and children.
	Women in the household were asked to stand in their sleeping garments or naked, not permitted to cover their bodies.
	Children were forced out of bed, screaming and crying, forced apart from their mothers.
	Security forces conducted searches by breaking into closets, drawers, seizing personal property, including iPads.
	Mobile phones.
	Oh yeah, iPads are the number one target.
	Of course.
	Many instances were reported security forces seizing personal property, money, jewelry, and perfume.
	Of course, dangerous perfume.
	The arrested person were blindfolded, handcuffed behind their backs before being moved.
	I see no reason to cancel Formula One.
	I think everything's just fine.
	No reason to call for a no-fly zone.
	All is groovy there.
	What do you say, John?
	Well, absolutely.
	Hoodies in Bahrain.
	I'll tell you what, they're not on the original list that we had.
	No, they're not.
	They are not on the original.
	You know who is on the list?
	They're not on the path to Persia, so they're good to go.
	You know who is on the list?
	And I've been doing some work.
	I don't have a...
	I'm just telling you what I'm working on so people can help me out.
	Noagendanewsnetwork.com.
	So Lebanon was always on the list.
	And I think now that I've done some research into the Oserian family.
	O-S-S-E-I-R-N... Sorry.
	Sorry.
	O-S-S-E-I-R-A-N, Oserian family, who originally are from Iran, but then moved.
	And if you look in the book of knowledge about them, they were connected to the Ottoman Empire.
	They eventually moved.
	So they were Persian.
	They eventually moved to Lebanon.
	I have a feeling.
	O-S-S-E-I-R-N-A. You got it?
	I looked them up on the Book of Knowledge.
	So they are a part of...
	And Al.
	Oh, there's the family.
	The whole family.
	Yeah, so they're a part of the Banu Assad.
	There's the name Assad right there.
	Which is a tribe that goes all the way from...
	I mean, all throughout the Islamic...
	Regions of the world.
	Big Arab tribe.
	And so they're descendants of that.
	And they're everywhere.
	They're in the United States and Britain, but predominantly Lebanon.
	It's like a secret society.
	I have a feeling.
	I have a feeling that if you look at the...
	What is the region?
	The region is the Bekaa region of Lebanon.
	I have a feeling that somehow this may not be that...
	Yes, it's related to pipelines and oil and gas.
	I think it might have to do something with drugs.
	I think the drug pipeline that comes...
	You know, so we go from, we go through Western Africa.
	I don't know.
	I'm not sure right now.
	I would start to begin to think it has to do with chicken.
	You've got to warn me somehow.
	I'm just not ready.
	The war on chicken.
	I have a feeling that...
	I have an amazing story about the war on chicken, but I want to get to it.
	But I think we should probably thank our producers before we do that.
	I'm going to show myself old by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on No Agenda.
	War on Chicken!
	All right.
	Now, you know, I was going to do the War on Chicken thing after the first break, but then you interrupted me and you didn't allow me to, so I'm going to put it off to this break.
	And this time it's going to happen.
	All right.
	But before that, I want to thank a few people who helped us out on show number 402.
	Vazim Kavalenka.
	Minneapolis, Minnesota.
	$111.11, one of the things you don't see enough anymore.
	Hello, citizens John and Adam.
	Greetings to you from the sunny Minneapolis.
	I've been a listener for a long time now and have been a total douchebag the whole time.
	Recently got called out as one on your show by my friend Travis.
	Thank you, Travis.
	I cannot go on like this.
	The guilt is unbearable.
	So please accept this donation as a sign of my appreciation of your work.
	I need some dedouching and karma, and please keep doing twits, he says, to me.
	Because I've only done one.
	Okay.
	We'll give him a de-douching karma.
	By the way, he says his name is Vadim.
	Don't pronounce the Z. Vadim!
	You've been de-douched.
	You've got karma.
	Vadim Kevalinka.
	Ben Todman, Mount Riverview, New South Wales.
	$111.
	Thanks for the greatest podcast in the universe.
	Could I please get a Karma de-douching double shot as I've been listening way too long without supporting the excellent work you guys do.
	Thanks and keep it up.
	Alright.
	You've been de-douched.
	You've got Karma.
	Alright.
	Okay, we've got...
	Elise Garling Jewelry in Sunnyside, New York, $101.01.
	I'd like to give my awesome mom in Port Townsend, Washington, where my daughter goes to high school, some Screw the Cancer Karma because it looks like she's really going to need it.
	Thanks for the best podcast on earth.
	You got it.
	Screw the Cancer!
	You've got karma.
	Michael Kern, soon to be Sir Kerns in Platte City, Missouri.
	7777, hoping the Stone Nation takes me to knighthood.
	Ring size 11.
	Keep up the media deconstruction.
	We'll try.
	Les Smith in Davis, California.
	Oh, there it is.
	69-69 as the entire trend continues.
	69!
	In honor of my wonderful wife, Kim, who is reluctantly celebrating her big 5-0 birthday on April 20th when asked what she wanted, it was none other than a matching pledge of the greatest podcast in the universe that she donated on my birthday in February.
	So happy birthday, love, and...
	And karma requests for our hangover recoveries.
	We always look forward to each new show so we don't have to talk to one another during our three-hour-per-day commute.
	Yes, it's the No Agenda Show, keeping families happy together for decades.
	Yeah, L-nonymous.
	All right, let me give a little karma shot there.
	You've got karma.
	They asked for it, but I want to give it to them anyway.
	Steven Shun in Independence, Missouri, 6969.
	And what else is donation for the best podcast in the universe?
	It would be nice if you send lots of birthday greetings to my MILF wife, Carrie Shun, who's the one who started the 6969 trend months ago.
	Karma wouldn't hurt either.
	She managed to hurt herself on her daughter's kid's birthday party and has been rather painful the last few days for her.
	She needs to get better soon.
	You should be playing on the slide.
	And by the way, if you want to talk about food again on no agenda, we'd love to hear more about John's famous pulled pork.
	I have that recipe ready to be published, and I'll do that probably within the next 30 days, now that somebody's asked.
	Lots of greetings from Mark Schwab in Deutschland.
	Okay, Deutschland.
	No matter what PayPal says.
	Here we go.
	You've got karma.
	So they're both in Deutschland.
	Good.
	And another 6969 comes in from Brian Watson from Raleigh, North Carolina.
	Keep up the SISPA, COPA, DMCA, PIPA, SIPA, SOPA, and PIPA ass coverage.
	Thanks, Sir Brian.
	The PIPA ass coverage.
	That's right.
	Hey, today we're going to do some really important work.
	We're covering the PIPA ass coverage.
	Anyway, he's actually, that's Sir Brian.
	Anonymous from parts unknown, ninja karma to clink, plus a high citizen, 6888.
	What's a ninja karma?
	I don't know.
	But give him a karma.
	Hey citizen, hey citizen karma.
	Hey citizen.
	You've got karma.
	Matt Wilson in Toronto, Ontario, 55 double nickels on the dime.
	I'm donating for my buddy Kyle Morrison.
	He's the one who got me listening to the show, and it's his birthday the 22nd.
	Both longtime douchebags at this point, so I figured my birthday present to him, if you would be so kind, would be a de-douching, hey citizen, karma call-out birthday shout.
	You've been de-douched.
	Hey citizen.
	You've got karma.
	More Double Nickels on the dime from Ernest Benoit in Rutland, Michigan.
	55 Double Nickels Minuteman donation included a few ads that I found.
	I have those ads.
	They're quite funny.
	We should talk about them soon.
	If it were not for No Agenda, we'd probably fall prey to ads such as this, as well as voluntary walk-through cancer machines at airports and take swine flu shots.
	Thanks to the No Agenda show for saving the children.
	Ha ha!
	Information provided by No Agenda helps to keep my family safe, and that's no joke.
	My wife Lisa's birthday was April 14th.
	Can you please give her a belated birthday shout-out?
	Can you put her on the list?
	She's not on the list, is she?
	Let me put her on right now.
	So Lisa Benoit.
	So it's Ernest Benoit Ball.
	Benoit Lisa.
	Alright.
	Can you...
	It's not B-E-N-O-I-T for anyone who has an alternate pronunciation.
	If you can please give her a belated birthday and one hot MILF baby.
	We give her that.
	Or from the kid.
	You got that somewhere.
	I tell my wife that MILF stands for Mom is Lots of Fun.
	A fact.
	One hot MILF baby.
	You've got karma.
	And she buys that, right?
	Well, until now.
	I guess.
	Scott Carbin in Waterford, Michigan, 5510.
	I just thought I'd add a note.
	Disagree with what you say about ADHD being made up.
	I totally agree that it's overdiagnosed by the way.
	Isn't it odd that there's a natural drug that's supposedly more effective and safer than any prescription drug for ADHD? But it's illegal!
	What is that?
	Speaking of medical marijuana, can I get some medical marijuana?
	Can I get a karma for my aunt who's got cancer?
	Last time the doctor started talking more positively, give him the good work, and tell your ISP to stop jiggling your cable.
	Yeah, or stop cutting it.
	Here you go, anti-cancer karma.
	You've got karma.
	Can I just interrupt for one second?
	I did an experiment about a month ago.
	Okay.
	And, you know, for research.
	I decided to take a pill of Ritalin to see what it would do.
	Ah!
	What did it do?
	Well, you know, I've never done anything but smoke pot.
	I've never snorted coke, speed, shrooms, nothing.
	This freaked me the F out.
	I was up for 24 hours.
	Ha ha ha!
	And it was really...
	The New York Times has an article today that they're giving this to the soldiers.
	And I have to say, you're very, very focused on whatever you're doing.
	But this stuff is no good.
	I can't imagine giving that to a kid.
	I'm a grown-up, so I'm like, okay, this will be over soon.
	I couldn't sleep.
	Just got little hot flashes, cold sweat back and forth.
	That wasn't too bad.
	But I could really feel my...
	That wasn't too bad.
	No, but my brain was...
	That was enjoyable.
	No, no, it was not enjoyable at all.
	But not like, I wasn't like freaking out.
	But I can see where just like people go like, I mean, please, don't give this to your kids.
	Don't give this to your kids.
	Actually, that's an interesting thing.
	I think people should take the drug themselves before they give it to their kids.
	That's a very good idea.
	And I did it because I had heard a lot of kids in L.A. are doing this.
	I'm like, well, let me try this.
	I need to know what this is.
	We talk about it all the time.
	We're always against it.
	Maybe it's like a wonder drug.
	No.
	I can imagine this is what cocaine does to you.
	And I've spoken to people.
	I said, yes.
	Did you talk a mile a minute?
	I was very quiet, but I was reading a lot.
	Oh, that's different.
	Yeah.
	You'd be talking a mile a minute.
	But I just wasn't around people.
	I didn't want to be...
	Because that would probably freak me out.
	But in the name of research, I figured I'd do it.
	And I tell you, I would never, ever give my kid this.
	Oh!
	It's just...
	It makes you...
	But, you know, it's kind of what it does.
	Look, it gives you...
	You know, these kids turn into zombies, right?
	They're really focused and they can do everything.
	But I know what my brain does.
	And my brain is...
	It's developed now.
	It's deteriorating.
	So I know what the differences are because I'm an adult.
	I'm almost 50.
	And this is not something you want to give to an adolescent.
	You really don't.
	Now, a bong?
	Absolutely.
	Get the kid hooked up to that when they're three.
	Greg Stone.
	He doesn't mean that.
	Greg Stone, double niggles on the dime.
	Also, with no comment.
	Anonymous from Donation Dude.
	Hi, John and Adam.
	I'd like to send a nap for humanity and some karma to Dr.
	D. She is having her birthday on the 24th and is the most brilliant sleep-awake doctor in the universe.
	She looks awesome in her PAGAFY hoodie.
	Not sure.
	From Peachland, it's the donation dude.
	He wants a nap for humanity karma?
	Is that what he wanted?
	I guess.
	Nap for humanity.
	I haven't heard that for a while.
	Karma.
	That's an oldie but a goodie.
	One of our failed efforts.
	Yeah, we tried to create a new carbon credit by having people nap for humanity.
	Yeah, that bombed.
	Yeah, it did.
	One of our many bombs.
	Hold on a second.
	What's that horn going off?
	I said some idiot.
	Okay.
	Stephen Lee in Sales Cheshire, 50-50.
	Dawn Summer Somewhere, $50 in the morning.
	I want to start by thanking you both for deconstructing the mainstream media.
	I'd like to give a hey, citizen, to Peter C. Norwood.
	Hey, citizen.
	Turn me on to the show.
	I'd also like some more karma to help get me a teaching job in the hard-knock state of Massachusetts.
	You've got karma.
	Armin Breuer, Sir Armin to you, in Vienna, Austria, 50.
	This is the second donation within two days.
	Again, I like New Age bull with a passion, but the NA karma already kicked in halfway through and set the foundation, so here's the other half.
	Take care.
	Wow, let me give him an extra karma boost then.
	Double shot.
	It'll put him over the top.
	Greg Steerly in Santa Monica, California, $50.
	And here's Sir Armin's other donation.
	I guess they came at the same time.
	He says in this one, my favorite three-letter agency here hasn't been kind to me lately.
	I'm taking out the Department of Finance.
	Of course, our IRS turns out it's made entirely of dumb, arrogant, thieving bastards.
	Anyway, I could use some karma.
	We just gave it to him.
	Fully aware that it might be an exercise in auto-suggestion, but whatever works.
	John, cue up the dramatic voice.
	It works all the time.
	It works all the time.
	I don't know what he's talking about.
	No, I think he's talking about this.
	Hold on.
	Where is it?
	Here we go.
	Hey, citizen.
	Do you like knowing the truth?
	Do you like real news?
	Do you not like people who bump their gums?
	Well, listen to the No Agenda podcast every Sunday and Thursday.
	Adam Curry and John C. Dvorak are living off slugburger and dog soup so you don't have to.
	Dog soup?
	I guess.
	And finally, Alan Levine, our hopeful in Congress, is back with $50.
	Alan Levine, A-L-L-A-N-L-E-V-E-N-E for congress.com.
	Is he not breaking all kinds of rules by doing this?
	No, he's looked into it.
	This is essentially a campaign ad.
	Is he a super PAC? No, but it brings up a question.
	No, it should be.
	This brings up a question.
	When people ask to give a web address or something, it's similar to an advertisement.
	And I'm sure people in the chat room are shaking their fists about this because we don't take ads.
	But we do take these contributions...
	And play them as kind of a mini-ad, I suppose, or like a classified almost.
	Which brings up the question, should we continue to do this, A? And B, more importantly, what happens if it became a trend, let's say, before the election?
	Would we take a $50 donation or $100 or whatever from Obama and then plug the Obama website?
	Or Romney, for that matter, because we essentially don't like either one of these guys.
	What do we do?
	What do we do?
	We have to.
	We have to.
	Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
	Yeah, we have to.
	I mean, but here's the worst question.
	What if the Ku Klux Klan gives us 50 bucks?
	And then gives their website.
	Yeah.
	Klan.org or whatever.
	Klan.gov.
	I have this...
	Hey, by the way, can I just say something?
	Buzzkill Jr.
	is giving me an awful lot of information about Ritalin in the back channel.
	Yeah?
	Does he know something I don't know?
	Well, he knows a lot because he researches all this stuff.
	There apparently is a website...
	That all the kids go to.
	And I keep forgetting the name of this site.
	I'll get it for the next show.
	Maybe he'll tell you in his back channel.
	That contains all this information and it's like everybody in the millennial, all the millennials go to this site as a resource to make sure that they're not taking anything that's going to hurt them.
	So he says, Ritalin is pretty much the same structure as cocaine, less reward.
	Adderall is more speedy, being an amphetamine mixture, more popular among academia, not a zombie at all.
	Well, I think we're all kind of zombies if you're taking all that stuff, man.
	The kids are zombies these days.
	Except for the ones that listen to our show.
	Well, no.
	Hey, hey now.
	So that'll be our...
	We did come up a little short, and I would hope to get more donations for the next Thursday show.
	And I will have a newsletter in the mail on Wednesday morning.
	Please get on the mailing list if you're not already.
	And you can always help us by going to the ever-omnipresent website.
	Reminder for Ms.
	Mickey, she's updating the Facebook page for our Hot Pockets tour.
	Oh, how are you doing?
	Well, she sent out an email to everyone.
	She said, well, we're doing great.
	I mean, people want to organize meetups, and we're going to do a real route this time.
	I think we'll start by going to Dallas first.
	The problem is we still have no trailer to hook up behind the Mustang Sally.
	That's the 2002 Dodge pickup.
	I do have the box that can control the brakes and everything, and it looks like the engine will do good.
	I put new tires on her.
	Well...
	Naya.
	She'll do well, Naya.
	Do good, Naya.
	So, of course, she started the Facebook Hot Pockets 2008 page, and she doesn't want to ruin all that, so maybe she's going to rename it or something.
	That was Hot Pockets 2009.
	Yeah, but this is from last year.
	Oh, last year.
	With Facebook, of course, if you start a new page, then you lose all your likes or whatever that crap is.
	No, I can't do that.
	Go to the Facebook page and you can always email Mickey, M-I-C-K-Y, at curry.com and she'll be happy to put you on the list.
	She's getting all the producers lined up so we can do...
	It looks like we're going to do the first leg of the tour after we get back from Gitmo Lowlands for the wedding.
	Looks like we're going to do a little over three weeks, actually.
	We can go all the way up to Colorado, and then we'll circle around, come back, and then at the end of the summer, or in the last couple of weeks of, I guess, August, we'll go out for another couple of weeks.
	But we can't do it if we don't have a trailer, so all we really need is a trailer.
	Colorado's great.
	Yeah, we just need a poop hole, a bed, and a kitchen, and some outlets for the studio, so we can set up the studio in the trailer.
	Surely someone has one of these.
	Don't you think?
	I'm hoping.
	I mean, they may not be anywhere nearby.
	That might be your problem.
	You've got to get one out of Texas.
	Yeah, we've got to get one out of Texas.
	Or Oklahoma.
	Or someplace where you drive the truck up north, heading north to Oklahoma.
	Yeah, we could do that.
	Maybe one of the Midwest states, any one of them.
	And I do want to mention noagendanation.com.
	I got my Mayan 2012 coin in the mail.
	Yeah, I got mine too.
	It's beautiful.
	I like the way Eric is adding value.
	Did you get that little holder, the little ring holder that says noagenda.show.com, whatever it says on the top, printed in silver?
	No.
	You didn't get that little black box?
	No.
	Let me check.
	You didn't get a coin in a black box?
	No.
	No.
	Oh, you've got to make sure Eric sends you that black box.
	I got gypped.
	He may have only sent...
	He may not have made a bunch of...
	No, no, no.
	I see it.
	Oh, there you have it.
	Yeah, I have it.
	Let me open it up.
	What is it?
	Oh, okay.
	But no, it's the top that is printed.
	Yeah, it's beautiful.
	Noagendashow.com.
	It's one of those things you can clip your finger off.
	So the thing is, yeah, this box must cost a few bucks itself.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But when you get those boxes like that, you have something in it, you put it in your pocket, and then you take the box, and then you put a gift in the box to give to somebody for Christmas or something, and you use one of these boxes.
	There's a little velvet box.
	Can you imagine giving this as a gift?
	But now it says no agenda.
	What is this?
	Like, thanks, honey.
	Oh, nice.
	Yeah, great.
	But anyway, I think it looks great.
	Yeah, I like the back of the coin, and he gives you a little cheat sheet with the Mayan alphabet, and you'll see that, well, should I ruin the surprise that it says Crackpot on one side and Buzzkill on the other in the Mayan alphabet?
	It has a little date there, 12-21-12.
	So you can pick up a coin there.
	That does indirectly benefit the show.
	And I think that's a pretty cool little thing that Eric has done there.
	Yeah, it would definitely be a nice challenge going to pull out.
	Someone pulls out a challenge going to pull out this thing.
	What?
	What?
	Alright, so once again, please support the program.
	It's value for value only.
	What we do is we provide you with outstanding programming.
	You are not the product.
	You are the recipient of a great product.
	We don't take any other form of payment other than pure alms.
	And donations go to...
	Dvorak.org Slash N A It's your birthday, birthday!
	I know what you got!
	Les Smith congratulates his wife, Kim, turned 50 on the 20th.
	Stefan Schoen says happy birthday to his wife, Carrie.
	Hey, darling.
	Matt Wilson's buddy.
	Kyle Morrison on...
	Well, today is his birthday.
	Mark Tissing...
	The sleep-wake doctor, Dr.
	D, celebrates on the 24th.
	And Ernest Benoit says happy birthday to his lovely wife, Lisa Benoit.
	That's it.
	Congratulations to all your buddies here at the No Agenda Show.
	And we've got two knighthoods.
	Yeah, people are really getting in on the knighthoods because we'll be stomping with the knight rings at the end of this year, the end of when the world ends, essentially.
	So if we do continue, then we'll have other new medals.
	A new initiative.
	A new initiative, that's right.
	But still, if you become a knight before the end of 2012, you will receive a fine Noah Jen the knight ring.
	So if you could draw your...
	Oh, you're on the ball today.
	Divorce!
	Keith Bradshaw, Michael Kearns, please step forward and kneel.
	Both of you are going to join the exclusive club known as the Knights of the No Agenda Roundtable.
	It is a real knighthood.
	We have just as much right as that woman over there in the castle in England.
	So I hereby pronounce the Sir Keith and Sir Michael Knights of the No Agenda Roundtable for you.
	I've got your hookers and blow, your red boys and chardonnay, your wenches and beard, your hot pants and booze.
	Right here.
	And thank you so much for supporting the program.
	It means a lot to us so that we can continue what we do.
	Which includes some important news.
	Well, sometimes we like to deconstruct the news.
	So I've got a deconstruction of the war on chicken.
	Okay.
	The War on Chicken.
	Can't laugh hearing that.
	So anyway, so we talked about this on the last show, and I looked into it because I saw some sketchy stories that seemed to be cropping up everywhere.
	I had no idea how much they started cropping up until I did this deconstruction.
	The Chicken Council called out the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine as the source of this, although I think there may be another source because this is a front for PETA. Oh, yeah.
	Okay.
	There we go.
	So they have a bunch of fronts.
	Apparently, nobody takes them seriously anymore.
	So you create a fake organization.
	And you can research these people on various sites that look into these operations.
	And it's like the number of physicians involved in this group is very low.
	It's like less than 5% or 5%.
	The media contact...
	The head of it, Janine Stewart McVeigh, the media relations manager, is a direct stooge for PETA. She's cited in a number of places.
	Their spokespeople are the same usual suspects of Hollywood Stooges.
	And the top of the list is Alec Baldwin.
	Yeah!
	And to remind people who Alec Baldwin is, even though he's a very enjoyable actor on things like 30 Rock, let's play a clip that I have that's a famous clip from just a few years ago of Alec Baldwin leaving a message on his daughter's cell phone.
	Hey, I want to tell you something, okay?
	And I want to leave a message for you right now.
	Because again, it's 10.30.
	And once again, I made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone to call you at a specific time.
	When the time comes for me to make the phone call, I stop whatever I'm doing, and I go and I make that phone call at 11 o'clock in the morning in New York, and if you don't pick up the phone at 10 o'clock at night, and you don't even have that goddamn phone turned on, I want you to know something, okay?
	I'm tired of playing this game of yours.
	I'm leaving the session with you to tell you, you have insulted me for the last time.
	You have insulted me.
	As a human being, I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old or 11 years old or that you're a child or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned.
	You have humiliated me for the last time of this fall.
	And when I come out here next week, I'm going to fly out there for the day.
	Just to straighten you out on this issue.
	I'm going to let you know just how disappointed in you I am and how angry I am of you that you've done this to me again.
	You've made me feel like shit and you've made me feel like a fool over and over and over again.
	And this crap you put on me with this goddamn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother and you do it to me constantly And over and over again, I'm going to get on a plane, or I'm going to come out there for the day, and I'm going to straighten your ass out when I see you.
	Do you understand me?
	I'm going to really make sure you get it.
	I'm going to get on a plane, I'm going to turn around, and I'm going to come home.
	So you've got to be ready Friday the 20th to eat with me.
	So I'm going to let you know just how I feel about what a weird little pig you really are.
	You are a weird, flawless little pig, okay?
	Hey, great audio quality there, John.
	I don't know what happened to that clip.
	But anyway, I'll make a better copy of it.
	Well, anyway, so he's obviously a nut.
	And chewing out an 11-year-old or 12, he doesn't even know her age, because she didn't pick up the phone.
	Right.
	Well, screw those kids.
	Yeah, because it's more important to be for animal rights.
	Or to shill for Zynga by getting so-called kicked off a plane for playing Farmville.
	Right, the Zynga game.
	Yeah.
	So I started looking into this, what the press release, what effect it had.
	We had apparently, I think the only way to describe this, one of the tricks I like to use is I'll take a look at a press release and find a phrase used in the release that people normally, journalists would normally not use.
	Right.
	And sometimes it can be a very large phrase.
	Just to prove the point, you don't want to use a word.
	You want to use a large phrase and drop it in Google.
	So here's the phrase I used.
	This is it.
	Sped up the processing lines to a dizzying 175 birds per minute.
	Dizzying?
	And dizzying, of course, is the key word that I was looking for.
	But I don't just want the dizzying or anything.
	I want that whole line to prove that the media is doing nothing but cut and paste journalism, which you had earlier in the show and I wanted to piggyback on.
	I'm looking at Huffington Post using the line right now.
	Okay, well, I got all, I mean, I got 6,500 uses of that exact same line, including from, I mean, I got ABC News, speed up the processing times, that's ABC News, WNYC. It uses it on their website.
	Eons.com, BeautifulNightmare.com, hundreds and hundreds of blogs using the exact same line.
	It's not plagiarism because it's in a press release, so you can use it, but would you use it?
	The 5A Texas Football Forum, somebody drops it in.
	It's used in...
	CafeMom.com uses it over and over again.
	And here's the one that really got me.
	Because most of the time they change the headline a little bit.
	But the exact same line is used by the China Daily with the headline, China Food Safer Than U.S. Food.
	Because they have slower processing lines.
	No, because they were taking two USDA guys off, and there was all kinds of accusations in this press release about Salmonella and all these things.
	So this is, in other words, used as propaganda by the Chinese government.
	In other words, these people, these PETA people, are working against the best interests on a trade basis against the United States.
	And essentially, I don't know, I suppose if you're a right-wing talk show guy, you could call them traitors.
	But whatever the case is, the Chinese have picked it up and gone along with 6,000 other sources.
	The news media as it now exists is a detriment to the future of this country.
	If this is the best they can do is just take a press release and use a stupid line, speed up the processing lines to a dizzying...
	175 birds per minute.
	It's just ridiculous.
	Things were just taken full cloth and run all over the country.
	And it's like they got picked up by all the locals and nobody's paying attention to the fact that this is a PETA scam.
	You know, PETA was much better when they just had all the hot chicks take their clothes off.
	They've had to create these front organizations because everybody knows what they're up to.
	They have an agenda.
	So they come off with their...
	They used to do this themselves, and they'd have the same press release out there, but nobody's picking up.
	So what is the name of the organization again, John, just so I can put them in my tracking system?
	This group is the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine.
	Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine.
	And you can go look them up on pcrm.org.
	pcrm.org.
	And they have, you know, if you look on their website, in fact, there's a couple of funny things on there.
	They have, if you look at some of the, they're the ones against the hot dog.
	Wait a minute!
	Hot pockets!
	They're not against my hot pockets, are they?
	Well, they probably are, but I was looking at some of their...
	Let's see what they got there.
	This is Dr.
	Barnard.
	Dr.
	Barnard's blog.
	He's the guy who's the front man for the whole thing.
	About PCRM. Let me look at this.
	Oh, man.
	Fish oil does not prevent heart disease.
	This is a good one.
	This is their breaking news.
	Because they don't want people using fish oil either.
	Here's one from Dr.
	Bernard's blog.
	Chicken could carry feces warning label.
	I don't think so.
	Capitol Hill discussion of Farm Bill highlights health hazards of factory farms.
	Let's look at this video for a second that's on there.
	Opening the doors to compassion.
	Ah, pussycat behind bars.
	What price do we pay when we turn away from practices that could improve the lives of people and animals?
	Show me some chimps.
	Definitely chimps are in there.
	In fact, I'm looking at their list of press releases.
	Nearly half of supermarket chicken tainted by feces.
	Well, I... Billboard warns Marlins fans of butt-cancered hot dog Link.
	Butt?
	Butt-cancer.
	Butt-cancer.
	Lovely.
	Do they have any financials on here?
	Because I'll look into that.
	No.
	No.
	Are you kidding?
	No.
	I mean, why would we have that, right?
	Membership.
	Oh, become a member.
	Make a donation.
	I'm going to get on the mailing list.
	You know these guys make millions and millions and millions of dollars in donations.
	Yeah, off of the Hollywood jerk-offs and other people that just don't get it.
	Speaking of which, so the word is now out that the reason why Mel Gibson was so insane is because he refused to take his bipolar medicine.
	Oh, lithium or something.
	Yeah.
	No, I don't think bipolar medicine is lithium necessarily.
	Well, some people have taken lithium.
	So, yeah, there's probably something a little more powerful.
	Well, yeah, so this is...
	You're right.
	That goes back to what I said at the beginning.
	Is this the reason why programs like ours are drawing people in the hundreds to come and listen to us?
	Yeah, we've got hundreds of listeners.
	Coming to listen to us because there's no one who's doing any of the work.
	He's like, oh, that's a good line.
	I think I'll use that.
	And Arianna Huffington...
	Fark.com ran the story.
	I mean, give me a break.
	So there was an interesting Reuters news report.
	I don't know if I mentioned...
	I think I kept this from last week, but there was a follow-up to this, which is even crazier.
	The CDC is now propagating a report that during the whooping cough epidemic and outbreak in California in 2010, which we followed, it turns out that immunized children who received the pertussis vaccination were more likely to catch the disease than kids who didn't have the vaccination.
	Where did this story come from?
	Reuters.
	During a whooping cough outbreak in California, 2010, immunized children...
	That's gotta get suppressed faster than you can imagine.
	No!
	It's much better than that.
	Immunized children between 8 and 12-year-olds were more likely to catch the bacterial disease than kids of other ages, suggesting that the childhood vaccine wears off as kids get older.
	Oh, yeah, there you go.
	So, conclusions, because I went to the...
	You know, I don't just...
	By the way, that's...
	It has to be a bogus argument.
	I mean, the logic doesn't make any sense.
	Here's the conclusion.
	Why would they get it more?
	Let me give you the conclusion.
	This is from them.
	Our data suggests that the current schedule of acellular pertussis vaccine doses is insufficient to prevent outbreaks of pertussis.
	We noted a markedly increased rate of disease from ages 8 through 12, proportionate to the interval since the last scheduled vaccine.
	Stable rates of testing ruled out selection bias.
	The possibility of earlier or more numerous booster doses of acellular pertussis vaccine, either as part of routine immunization or for outbreak control, should be entertained.
	So they're saying, because the vaccine doesn't work, you need to have more of it.
	How sick are we?
	And isn't the definition of a vaccine is that you build up an immunization because you're given the actual virus and therefore you don't get it.
	I mean, I don't have to have a booster for polio, do I? You have one polio shot, that's it.
	They're gonna find some proof that you do.
	Yeah, you're right.
	You're so right.
	See, army surgeon has, let's see, cancer vaccine coming out.
	We got a brain cancer vaccine coming out.
	Sure.
	Yeah, which will not prevent cancer, but it'll help you live three months longer.
	But it's called a vaccine.
	No, of course it's not a vaccine, but they call it a vaccine.
	It's just nuts.
	We had two dinners this past week.
	Really smart people.
	One guy's a computer.
	He has a computer software company.
	Do they know who you are?
	Do they know anything about the show when you have these dinners before or after?
	No, they did not know before.
	They just thought, oh, it's the MTV guy.
	That'll be cool.
	And the other guy's a PhD, teaches at university, teaches creative writing and English.
	And there's actually one other guy we'll talk about in a second.
	But all these dinner conversations eventually comes around to, you know, we could defend this hill if we had to.
	We could call dear.
	And without me even starting, these are smart people.
	They're already feeling it.
	They're like...
	Hey man, this is...
	Something's going on.
	Something weird is happening.
	But then we have my other friend, King.
	And he's originally from Texarkana.
	He's a photographer.
	And he lived in Phoenix and I moved to Austin.
	And he keeps telling me about this show we have to watch, which I think is...
	Is it the Bullfrog Dynasty?
	Oh my, I gotta look this up.
	It's on A&E. Don't know it.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Duck Dynasty.
	Duck?
	I still don't know it.
	Duck Dynasty.
	This is a show you have to watch.
	It's on A&E. And it's about the family that created the original Duck Call.
	The Acme Duck Call?
	I don't know if it's the Acme.
	Let me see.
	And so they wound up making like a billion dollars.
	And all they do all day long is they go out and they shoot squirrels and they talk about, hey man, we don't trust meat from the supermarket.
	And they hunt frogs all the time.
	They're in the bayou, the Louisiana bayou, not far from Texarkana probably.
	And you'll love them.
	I predict this show to be a huge hit because people are thinking this way.
	They've got like ZZ Top beards and stuff.
	And they keep going out hunting frogs and they cook up the frog legs.
	It's the Robertson, I think.
	Yeah, the Robertsons.
	These guys are...
	Duck Dynasty.
	You gotta watch this show.
	These guys.
	Yeah.
	A Louisiana family lives the American dream as they operate a successful hunting accessory business.
	They got duck calls.
	Um...
	But there is something changing and maybe Austin has something to do with it.
	I assume they're poking a beehive.
	That was a whole episode right there.
	They're poking the beehive.
	They got a big vacuum cleaner with a long extension.
	They want to suck the bees out.
	So they push the beehive with this thing and knock it open and all the bees start chasing them down to the swamp.
	Cool.
	Yeah.
	I'm telling you, these guys rock, man.
	These guys totally rock.
	I think you can probably watch two episodes before.
	I think you can watch more.
	Trust me.
	I doubt it.
	Alright, a couple of Agenda 21 items I wanted to go through.
	There's a new bill being proposed, which I'll get to in a second, which is HR 15.
	For those of you who want to read along at home, follow the bouncing ball, 1505, which is known as the National Security and Federal Lands Protection Act.
	We'll go through that in a second.
	But there's a lot of crazy Agenda 21 stuff going on.
	If you know what Agenda 21 is, then go to the United Nations website or just Google for the documents on Agenda 21.
	Essentially, the whole idea is...
	Yes, and start your five-year career reading it.
	Yeah.
	Kill people, save the earth.
	And Clint Didier...
	I didn't know who he was, but I guess he won two Super Bowls?
	He was in two Super Bowl...
	Is he a coach or a player?
	I never heard of him, and I like football.
	Well, let's find out who he is.
	Clint Didier.
	Come on, man.
	You know this guy.
	Ex-NFL tight end.
	Yeah, he looks like a football guy.
	He's a Glenn Beck guy.
	Oh, really?
	So he has a farm up there.
	Former American football player.
	He has a farm up there in Washington State, and the EPA just decided to take away his land by not letting him farm on it.
	Here's the clip.
	Well, we had an article in the paper the other day, David, that stated the fact that the National Marine Fisheries Service, which is part of NOAA, that's directly linked to EPA, wants to put 500-foot buffers on all the waterways in the state of Washington for pesticide herbicide application.
	They're not going to take the land away.
	They're just not going to allow us to farm the land.
	And if they do that, 61% of our ground will be out of production in the state of Washington.
	We cannot manage a farm when they take that much of our land away from use.
	Did they ask you about it before they impose this new reg?
	No, they did not.
	And our own Department of Agriculture here in the state of Washington has done an exclusive study for the last six years.
	They have studied six of the highest areas in our state from farming for the water returning back to the river, and they have found no residue of any pesticide, herbicide, fungicide, or anything going back to the river.
	Well, let me tell you right now, it's happening in Michigan, it's happening in states across the country.
	I read about it in the Capitol Press.
	We farmers, us farmers of the United States of America, we're feeling threatened.
	We're wounded.
	We're backed against the corner.
	And the only way out of this is to go through these agencies?
	We'll go through these agencies.
	Let me tell you right now, in our area right here in the Columbia Basin, we will not go down without a fight.
	If they want to fight, we're ready.
	So, um...
	I guess you need to speed up the processing of the chicken if you want to exist in today's world.
	So that's like, you know, almost 40% of its farmland gets taken away by the EPA. Now, the EPA, they just make up regulations.
	Oh, yeah.
	They were given the go-ahead to just make up stuff as they go along.
	And then that horrible woman, Jackson...
	I mean, who's just an arrogant jerk.
	She just loves it being the point of power.
	So this new shill asks a very stupid question, and then he tries to recover, like, oh yeah, I knew that.
	Yeah, yeah, like he's just an idiot.
	Listen to this.
	As much as I understand your reasons for it, and I encourage you to fight for your rights as this thing goes, but doesn't federal law trump state law all the time?
	How dumb is this guy?
	Oh, that is unbelievable.
	This is a great meme that they've managed to plant into the minds of people that should know better.
	Now, who is this douchebag?
	I don't know.
	It's probably Fox or something.
	I don't know.
	Fox uses that meme constantly.
	People who listen to our show should realize that Fox is not on your side.
	Here he comes.
	This is not federal law.
	These are agencies that are using the courts and a judge by the name of John Kooner in Seattle to implement their agenda.
	Agenda.
	That's the key.
	I misspoke.
	But you're an idiot is what you are.
	It's not a law.
	It's a regulation put forth by one branch of government.
	And we are supposed to have equal and separate branches.
	Now it goes off the rails again.
	What are you talking about, man?
	It has nothing to do with it.
	The EPA just has no right to make up shit like that.
	...of government.
	And we are a federalist society.
	So, I mean, we are supposed to...
	The states are supposed to have rights.
	Federalist.
	Rights.
	What is your recourse now?
	Where do you go?
	What do you do?
	State's rights supersede the federal government, by the way, too.
	By the way, just so you know.
	Yeah, but you've got to be careful because people forget this stuff.
	And so one of these wonderful people, actually the wife of King, the guy from Texarkana, who watches the Duck Dynasty, she said, I really hate this TSA. I always get picked out a line first.
	She's hot, by the way.
	I always get picked out a line first.
	I know they're looking at my boobs.
	I know they're looking at my coos.
	I'm sick and tired of it.
	I said, you can opt out.
	She said, really?
	I'm like, oh...
	See, I didn't know that.
	Yes.
	This was at the dinner?
	Yeah.
	She didn't know she could opt out, and she's very pretty.
	They have a sign that says it at most airports.
	Yeah.
	Nobody reads these things.
	They just plow through.
	And then I said, but be prepared, because when you opt out, they will try to embarrass you by yelling, opt out, opt out, opt out.
	They will embarrass you.
	They're going to try and do that.
	But you can just opt out.
	Just say no.
	Now, you will get felt up.
	But at least I can see the person when they do it.
	It's just like, ugh.
	The whole thing is just...
	Anyway, let me move on.
	Melinda Gates.
	Melinda Gates.
	You've got to get the name of that guy who was interviewing this Didier guy.
	Hold on, I can find it for you right now.
	Um...
	Before I go to Melinda Gates, since we're talking about douchebags...
	Well, I'm talking about Agenda 21.
	I'm not just talking about douchebags.
	Well, that sounds like it to me.
	Yeah.
	Well, it's...
	Here, I'll tell you who it is.
	This is on...
	It's on Fox.
	Fox Business.
	David something or other.
	I don't know what his name is.
	Can I play an ad that ran on Fox Business on Forbes on Fox?
	Yeah, of course.
	Play the online booty call ad.
	Oh, hold on.
	This is an advertisement.
	This is a real advertisement ran on Forbes on Fox, and it's a low production value piece of crap that should not have been accepted for broadcasting to begin with.
	And at the very end, I'll explain what you're going to be seeing on this.
	I'll explain the whole thing if you can kind of guess.
	This guy is talking to some girl and he wants to marry her.
	And so then somebody comes running in out of the blue and kicks him into the bushes.
	And it's a dummy that lands.
	It's just a horrible production.
	And then the guy promotes his...
	This is the guy who runs Booty Call.
	And he promotes his dating site.
	And then at the very end, he walks off with the pretty girl and she's got the flowers.
	The first guy gave her, throws the flowers on this guy who's down on the ground and calls him a loser.
	I know we just met today on eHarmony, but we should be together forever!
	Don't promise marriage just to get a date.
	Hi, I'm Dr.
	Moses Brown, president and founder of OnlineBootyCall.com.
	Did you know that marriage is a leading cause of divorce?
	At OBC, we take a fun, casual approach to online dating.
	So, join the millions of singles having fun at OBC today.
	Look, I'm not just the president, I'm also a member.
	Loser.
	Ugh.
	That's Fox.
	This reminds me of another story.
	You know, there's this website called isanyoneup.com.
	You ever heard of this?
	I'm sure JC knows about this.
	Yeah, according to JC, it doesn't have its mojo anymore because it got corrupted by too many people sending in crappy pictures.
	Right, but this thing was so on fire that people were even tattooing their hashtag on their body parts, which is NBHNC, which stands for No Butthole, No Care.
	And the kids are just crazy about this.
	All of a sudden, the website is closed.
	The guy sold it to Bullyville.com.
	And you've got to look at this Bullyville.com.
	It's impossible to find out who's actually behind it because it's a closed corporation.
	But this is all anti-bullying, be nice, the guy's part of Cheaters.com.
	What's it called?
	Bullyville?
	Bullyville.com.
	I'm going to go to it as well.
	Well, give anybody listening what the original idea was of the first sight.
	The first sight is you embarrass people, like former boyfriends, girlfriends, by sending in some typically naked picture of them, which is hilarious.
	Funny site.
	And who's on the homepage of Bullyville.com?
	Oh, yeah.
	Your buddy.
	Oh, yeah.
	Let's listen to our buddy.
	Let's see what he has to say.
	Dr.
	Drew.
	Dr.
	Drew.
	How serious is bullying?
	And Gene Simmons.
	9 out of 10 LGBT students have been bullied at school this year alone.
	The harassment has caused two-thirds of these students to feel unsafe.
	And 28% of them to drop out.
	Bullying has led to an epidemic of LBGT teen suicides that has sent shockwaves through the community.
	There are over 30,000 suicides each year.
	That's one suicide every 17 minutes.
	For every completed suicide, there's an estimate of 100 to 200 attempts.
	LGBT teens are six to nine times more likely.
	This is all relating down to human rights and pussification of the nation.
	And in California, your state, John, entered by Assemblymember Campos, this bill has been passed.
	The act to amend section 48900 of the education code relating to pupils.
	This bill will identify specific conduct that would constitute a post on a social network internet website including posting to or creating a burn page as defined, creating a credible impersonation of a person as defined, and creating a false profile as defined as illegal!
	So you can now get kicked out of school and prosecuted for creating a burn page.
	You know what a burn page is?
	Yeah, it's a grudge page, it used to be called.
	You put up a page about somebody you hate.
	That is now an expellable offense.
	Along with possession or using tobacco or products containing tobacco or nicotine products...
	What?
	They threw this in gratuitously?
	Mm-hmm.
	Including, but not limited to, cigarettes, cigars, miniature cigars, clove cigarettes, smokeless tobacco, snuff, chew packets, and betel.
	However, this section does not prohibit use or possession.
	Yeah, of betel use.
	What, are we in Taiwan?
	Apparently.
	You can also be expelled if you commit an obscene act or engage in habitual profanity or vulgarity.
	Oh, cussing is now illegal.
	There goes the filthy speech movement that was so popular at University of California.
	If you possess an imitation firearm, like a squirt gun.
	What if you just make that finger, make a trigger?
	This was interesting.
	If you have unlawfully offered, arranged to sell, negotiated to sell, or sold the prescription drug SOMA, And here's the actual definition.
	Bullying means any severe or pervasive physical or verbal act or conduct, including communications made in writing or by means of an electronic act, including one or more acts committed by a pupil or group as defined in sections.
	So you can't pass a note across the classroom that says, you suck.
	Nope.
	Nope, nope, nope.
	Electronic act means transmission by electronic device, included but not limited to, telephone, wireless, message, text, sound, or image, post to a social internet website, including but not limited to, post to the burn page.
	Burn page, definition, means an internet website created for purposes of harming, intimidating, threatening, or defrauding another person.
	So on that bullying site, there was a statistics about suicides.
	And it was implied that these suicides were the result of bullying.
	Well, I'm looking at the suicide rates, the entire suicide rate, according to the CDC, is that number total.
	How many kids...
	So are they telling us that all suicides are because of bullying?
	All suicides, yes.
	And none of them have to do with the over-prescription of Ritalin, Adderall, or any other psychotropic drugs.
	None of that, of course, has anything to do with it whatsoever.
	And apparently it's only lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender children.
	That's what they implied.
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	Well, that's bullcrap.
	And then they have this list of bullied celebrities.
	Let's go down the list.
	Ooh, I missed that.
	Bullied celebrities.
	We have Paris Jackson.
	That's Michael Jackson's daughter, bullied.
	DJ Ashba, lead guitarist of Guns N' Roses.
	Johnny Depp, bullied.
	Mel Gibson, bullied.
	Jennifer Esposito, bullied.
	Mel Gibson?
	Mel Gibson, bullied right here.
	Really?
	Mm-hmm.
	Bullied.
	Let's read the story.
	Mel Gibson was bullied?
	Mel Gibson moved to Australia from New York when he was 12.
	He was taunted for being chubby and because of his American accent.
	Mel Gibson is reported as saying that at first no one liked me.
	They made rude remarks about me, cut me to the bone.
	My sense of humor kept the bullies away.
	Yeah.
	This is on Bullyville.
	He's a bullying survivor.
	A bullying survivor.
	That's pathetic.
	Steve Harvey's ex-wife, bullied.
	There's lots of celebrities.
	I'm wearing good, good, good company.
	By these tight definitions, everybody in the world has been bullied.
	Everybody, with no exceptions, has been bullied at one time or another.
	I've been bullied?
	You've been bullied in that case?
	Bully, bully, bully.
	Absolutely.
	Here's the real bully.
	Clay Aiken was teased for singing.
	Right.
	So the point is, these people were bullied but became very successful.
	So you can't go to a comedy club and harass the comedian even though you're going to get it back?
	No, that would be illegal.
	What about insult comics?
	They're out of business now.
	Yeah, can't bully.
	Yeah, this is all part of cultural Marxism.
	Now let's go back to Agenda 21 because I have these two clips which are just kind of interesting.
	Melinda Gates is at TEDx in Germany.
	I'm not sure what city she was in.
	And Melinda Gates, by the way, was she not just a secretary?
	She was a product manager for...
	What product?
	That publishing product.
	Clippy?
	Clippy?
	Was she Clippy?
	Was she the product manager of Clippy?
	No, not for the Clippy.
	No, they had a publishing, Microsoft Publish or something.
	I can't remember the name of it.
	Oh, a product that failed is what you're saying.
	Well, after she quit.
	It's been discontinued.
	I think it's pretty much been discontinued.
	I don't remember it anymore.
	She was a product manager and that was it.
	And then she bagged Bill Gates.
	The way the story goes, if you care.
	Yeah, I do.
	I've been godding you for it.
	She was hand-picked by Bill's mom.
	To marry Bill or else she was dying and she had to marry or Bill had to marry her before she died so she'd feel that she had somebody who could take care of Bill.
	Really?
	That was the story.
	Bill's mom used to keep washing his clothes until the very end.
	Washing his anus.
	Yeah.
	I heard those stories.
	So Melinda Gates now with Bill goes around the world killing people.
	And so she is on stage at TEDx, and you've got all the douchebag elites sitting in the audience tweeting, I'm at TEDx.
	How cool am I? I'm at TEDx.
	And TEDx is like the second tier.
	Yeah.
	It's like an insult to speak at TEDx.
	Oh, well, she's up there for 25 minutes.
	The speeches are only supposed to go for 18 or 14 or something.
	No, but she gets interviewed.
	She's Melinda Gates, product manager of Clippy.
	Come on!
	What are you talking about?
	She's important.
	And of course, she's talking about her favorite topic, which is birth control.
	And particularly birth control in Africa.
	And she starts off by basically, you know, it's always the same thing.
	It's like, you know, like Christine Lagarde.
	I don't want to brag, but let me brag.
	So when she says this is not what this is about, it's exactly what it's about.
	Listen.
	Some people think when we talk about contraception that it's code for abortion, which it's not.
	Some people, let's be honest, they're uncomfortable with the topic.
	Let's be honest.
	Yeah, here we go.
	They're uncomfortable with the topic of sex.
	Uh-huh.
	Okay, what else you got to say, Melinda?
	Because it's about sex.
	Some people worry that the real goal of family planning is to control populations.
	But these are all...
	Notice she doesn't say it's not.
	You catch that?
	Yeah, and Bill has said it is a number of times already.
	Side issues that attach themselves to this core idea that men and women should be able to decide when they want to have a child.
	Right.
	So she goes into this whole long thing about, you know, I didn't want to have children, I want to have a successful career, and now we have three beautiful children.
	And she's somehow equating her elitist privileged life to that of an African mother living in a hut, Eating mud.
	And, of course, she is the chosen one to go and help these women, to help them not have children.
	And it is population control.
	They are performing population control, and they are elitists going in and saying, we'll help you out.
	And what is their favorite, favorite, favorite method of population control?
	Is it a condom?
	Is it a spiral?
	No.
	Women in Africa will tell you over and over again that what they prefer today is an injectable.
	It's a fact.
	They'll tell you over and over again.
	In fact, I was in Africa just the other day.
	So if I go to Africa tomorrow, go and hang out in some village in Ghana, and I just bring this up, they can say, oh, injectable.
	No, no, no.
	They'll go, injectable, injectable.
	It's just injectable.
	They'll do it over and over again.
	It's a fact.
	Over and over again.
	They'll just keep going.
	They will tell you that's what they want.
	Let's listen in.
	Women in Africa will tell you over and over again that what they prefer today is an injectable.
	They get it in their arm and they go about four times a year.
	They have to get it every three months to get their injection.
	The reason women like it so much in Africa is they can hide it from their husbands, who sometimes want a lot of children.
	The problem is...
	Wait, hold on a second.
	Didn't she earlier say that a couple makes these decisions?
	Yeah, apparently not.
	But she said earlier that the couple decides.
	So the man's out of the picture now because of this trickery?
	That's exactly true.
	Every other time a woman goes into a clinic in Senegal, that injection is stocked out.
	It's stocked out 150 days out of the year.
	So can you imagine the situation?
	She walks all this way to go get her injection, she leaves her field, sometimes leaves her children, and it's not there.
	So, while the chat room is now going crazy because we've swung them from topic to topic, number one, I do not believe Melinda Gates has any right to go in and start injecting stuff into people because women don't want it and their husbands want to have lots of children.
	It is population control.
	Number two, bullying is a fast track to restriction of freedom of speech.
	That's what you gotta watch out for.
	Because invariably we get people saying, who listen to the show, you guys are a-holes, you're ignorant, bullying is horrible.
	The way it's going, and look at bullyville.com, and look at what this buyout of isanyoneup.com, it is stopping free speech.
	I'm not saying it's great free speech, but free speech is free speech.
	And that's now being stopped.
	It is being stopped.
	And you will come to regret this.
	I'm on your side completely on this.
	Let me just play.
	Condemning you in the chat room is, you know, they should be arrested.
	Yeah, for bullying you.
	That's okay, because Prince Philip, I want to play a classic Prince Philip clip from 1984.
	He'll tell you what the elites really think of y'all.
	What do you think are the most serious issues faced by conservationists and World Wildlife Fund over the next 20 years or so?
	95% of the whole of the Atlantic rainforest in Brazil has disappeared in the last hundred years.
	There is simply nowhere for these animals to live.
	At the basis of it all is this colossal increase in the human population.
	It's one of the living species of the planet, but it's reaching plague proportions.
	That's right!
	You're just a plague!
	We're a plague!
	We're a plague.
	That's what he said.
	Yeah, we're a plague.
	We're just a horrible, horrible plague.
	You want to hear the UNICEF children?
	You want to hear the programmed kids who are now being taught that we're just a plague?
	Might as well.
	You're watching UNICEF television.
	During a week-long forum on climate change, CHAL delegates from over 40 countries engaged in debates, skill-building and negotiating sessions.
	They also learned to use online media tools to promote work against climate change.
	Strong of their newly acquired skills, the climate ambassadors signed a declaration that outlined the main concerns and recommendations shared by all.
	On the closing day of the Children's Climate Forum, a handful of youth ambassadors from all over the world presented the finalized declaration.
	We, as the world's children, want to be able to look forward to a cleaner, brighter, greener future.
	And are prepared to do whatever it takes.
	Climate change is making education, healthcare and child protection nothing more than a child's gift.
	And violating our rights.
	It is time to act.
	We will do anything.
	Like killing ourselves if we have to.
	Steve Zwick.
	Do you know him?
	No.
	He writes for Forbes Magazine.
	Are these the same guys who do the booty call?
	Those are the booty call guys.
	Huh.
	Well, here it is.
	His colophon.
	I write about the economic value of nature's services.
	This is all great for Earth Day.
	And the title of his article, which you will have to read in the show notes, 402.nashownotes.com, A Tennessee Fireman's Solution to Climate Change.
	We know who the active denialists are.
	Not the people who buy the lies, mind you, but the people who create the lies.
	Let's start keeping track of them now.
	And when the families come, let's make them pay.
	Let's let their houses burn until the innocent are rescued.
	Let's swap their safe land for submerged islands.
	Let's force them to bear the cost of rising food.
	Where are you getting this?
	From Forbes magazine.
	Forbes.
	Forbes.com.
	Give me the link to that.
	All right.
	I'm going to email it to you right now.
	This is Forbes.
	You could write a whole column about this.
	No, what do you think I'm looking for the link for?
	Yeah, I'll email it to you right now.
	I mean, that's...
	I mean, well, let me just...
	Don't be a denier!
	The science is in!
	Science!
	Yeah, it literally says, let their houses burn.
	It's the Tennessee fireman's solution to climate change.
	Remember those Tennessee firemen?
	Because people hadn't paid their 60 bucks or whatever, they just let the houses burn?
	Which is probably a bullcrap story, but that's what he's using.
	So yeah, they broke the climate, why should the rest of us have to pay for it?
	Let their houses burn!
	Put their heads on a stake!
	Wow.
	Cool, right?
	Yeah, no, it's sick.
	Yep.
	Okay, just wrapping it all up, just in time.
	Thank you for finishing the show with more depressing stuff.
	No, I can do something good for you.
	I have a light piece we can run, just quickly.
	I think this will help lower the population, too.
	Idiots, apparently there was a couple crashes on the bridge over here, and the way the second crash occurred, I don't know how you can drive like this, but I just thought it was...
	Funny.
	It's the, uh, where is that clip?
	It's a huge pile-up?
	Huge pile-up.
	Thousands of commuters had a frustrating commute this morning trying to cross the San Mateo Bridge.
	Two crashes, one in each direction closed several lanes for hours, bringing traffic to a standstill.
	It all started around 6 this morning when a big rig plowed into the back of a stalled pickup.
	Officials say a driver going in the other direction became distracted and then slammed into the back of an unoccupied CHP cruiser.
	Ha!
	I mean, the cruiser's got lights and all this stuff, right?
	I hope so.
	The guy plows into it like an idiot.
	Yeah.
	We're locals.
	All right, so everybody over there in Euroland, I hope all goes well.
	Of course, we have the French elections.
	We should have the results pretty soon, I guess.
	Yeah, I'm hoping, like, now.
	Yeah, is it 8 o'clock when they...
	8 o'clock, so it's 6, 7.
	I think we have one more hour to go, unfortunately.
	We can't get that now.
	So if good old Sarko the Narco doesn't win...
	Haaland top Sarko's French vote.
	Right, but...
	Le Pen surges.
	That's Marina Le Pen.
	So what has to happen is there'll be a runoff on May 6th if Sarko doesn't win by at least 50%, which we didn't expect.
	No, we don't expect that.
	So Haaland is going to be interesting what happens in this.
	The socialists, yeah.
	The French has always flipped back and forth between conservatives and socialists and back and forth and back and forth.
	Nobody seems to be able to get the job done.
	In Italy, just to round out our Euroland news, in Italy they're now burning paintings at the Italian Museum.
	Because they don't have, you know, of course the austerity measures are kicking in and there's no money to preserve the arts.
	So the guy says he's going to burn three works of art a week until the museum's entire 1,000-piece collection is gone or until the government forks over funds for the museum.
	The burning paintings.
	That's because the austerity measures are working so well.
	Yeah, they're working great.
	Instead of giving the paintings to somebody to put in their house, which seems like a better idea.
	Like over here.
	Here's another free painting, but now we're going to burn them.
	We're going to burn them.
	That's a PR move.
	We're going to burn them.
	Well, definitely.
	Let me just get back to H.R. 1505.
	This is about...
	Of course, they burned their first painting.
	It was a French guy's painting.
	Anyway, go on.
	The Secretary of the Interior or the Secretary of Agriculture shall not impede, prohibit, or restrict activities of the Secretary of Homeland Security on land under the jurisdiction of the Secretary of Interior or Secretary of Agriculture to achieve operational control over the internal land and maritime borders of the United States.
	Do you remember us talking about the 100-mile radius of Oh yeah, we've talked about it a number of times.
	So now we have a bill that says that the Department of Homeland Security within, here it is, the United States and Canada shall be considered to apply to all sections of the international land and maritime borders of the United States within 100 miles of the international land and maritime borders for activities of the Department of Homeland Security as described in subsection B. These guys can do anything they want on
	essentially public land.
	And the Rangers, who love the public land, are up in arms about this because they can do assisting and securing the border within 100 miles, including access to maintain and construct roads, construct a fence, use vehicles to patrol, set up monitoring equipment, landing strips...
	So 100 miles within every single border of the United States, the Department of Homeland Security, if this is passed, will have the right to just do whatever they want.
	Well, 100 miles in the state of California, the width of the entire state is 250 miles.
	Well, it would have to be from the border, 100 miles from the border.
	Well, the coast is the border.
	Oh, that's a good point.
	Wow.
	So it goes all the way to Sacramento.
	So that means the entire Bay Area, Los Angeles, all the way to Bakersfield, San Diego, all that is subject to the whims of the Department of Homeland Security.
	And the agriculture and...
	And even if they take the border and move it 12 miles offshore from the 12-mile limit thing, it still takes all the Bay Area, all the way to Sacramento and beyond, probably to Auburn.
	So I think it might be an idea, if you care, to contact your congressperson and say, I don't like this idea.
	Let's see who put this in.
	Bishop of Utah, King of New York, Hastings of Washington.
	Really, Hastings.
	He lives there.
	Up there at the border.
	Smith of Texas.
	It's got to be voted out.
	Of course it has to be voted, but it won't be.
	No, these guys have got to be voted out of office.
	All of them.
	Peter King.
	The guy's a douchebag.
	Yeah.
	He's always behind this stuff.
	I think that's enough.
	I'm done.
	I lightened it up a little bit and boom, here you go again.
	Can you lighten it up with one more thing?
	I got nothing else that's light.
	I got something.
	I mean, I got the guys beating the crap and killing some guy.
	I thought the Rodney King situation where this Rojas was killed by the Border Patrol.
	No, let's not do that.
	There's only one way to end it.
	The war on chicken.
	Laugh and Sal.
	That's a good clip we got there.
	Thanks, Yellowjacket.
	I like that.
	Alright, so also next week on the 6th, we have, right after Cinco de Mayo, we have the Greek election.
	Look forward to the Cabinet of the Netherlands falling this week.
	So it should be groovy over there in Euroland.
	We'll be following it all for you.
	Don't expect to see that on your regular news broadcast.
	Come back on Thursday for the No Agenda show.
	Help us out with the Hot Pockets 2009 tour.
	You can go to itm.im slash tour09.
	And that'll take you, unfortunately, to the Facebook page where Ms.
	Mickey is coordinating everything.
	We need a trailer.
	Hook us up with that.
	And I am here in the capital of the Drone Star State, known as Austin Tejas, where we can defend this hill in the morning.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where I'm on a hill too, but I have no intentions of defending it, I'm heading out.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	Coming up right after this on the stream, the No Agenda producer update, and we'll be back on Thursday right here on No Agenda.

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