All Episodes
April 8, 2012 - No Agenda
02:46:08
398: Zombie Gun
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
She's got the right look and feel.
Adam Curry, John C. Devorak.
It's Sunday, April 8th, 2012.
Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 3, 9 or 8.
This is no agenda.
Enjoying my illegal kinder eggs here at Camp MoFo in the capital of the drone star state, Austin Tejas.
In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
And wishing everyone a happy Easter and other celebrations.
From northern Silicon Valley, I'm John C. DeVore.
It's Crackpot and Buzzkill.
In the morning.
Now, is Easter another one of those fake holidays, or is this a real one?
Did the guy really get up from under that rock?
Is that how it works?
Yeah, I had to push the rock away.
Roll away the stone.
Yeah, we're not celebrating.
We're celebrating next weekend.
Why?
Because Christina's working in Holland.
She wanted to be here for Easter.
Oh, so you're going to have an Easter next week?
Yeah, so we got our eggs and everything.
The eggs are going to go bad.
No, they won't.
It'll be fine.
We got an egg tree and all kinds of, you know.
You're going to egg the tree?
No, we got an egg tree.
We have an egg tree.
Hey, can you hear it humming in the background?
Probably not.
No?
It is audible, though, a little bit.
What is it?
My Dynatrap.
I'm sorry?
My Dynatrap.
Well, gesundheit.
Yeah, you know, after the gnat attack that I had on the previous episode, I got at least, must have been at least 30 different emails from people with suggestions, which kind of ranged from put apple cider with a little bit of brown sugar and across the board everyone said a little bit of dishwashing liquid into a bowl or a dish and put that down.
You'll catch one.
No, I caught three since the last program.
Yeah, that's bull crap.
That's not a very good way to do it.
Well, it's not entirely true.
So why don't you just stick with that?
It doesn't make so much noise.
Well, I'll tell you why.
It's because the Nats are attracted to a light source.
And when I'm doing the show, the entire studio is dark except for my monitors.
And I have a little small LED desk lamp so I can kind of see the mixer.
So I can't concentrate on anything else.
It's just the monitors.
So you need another light source to attract them.
And you had said I needed to find some kind of thing with a light and a fan.
Yeah, the UV. This thing is fantastic.
It has so many benefits.
It has a UV lamp, which you can see all the little gnats and the moths and the flies, and they're like, hey, look at that groovy light!
And they fly over to the light, and then all of a sudden, they get sucked down by the fan into the trap below.
But this is not a water trap.
No, it's not a water trap.
It does have a trap door, so they get sucked down into the trap, and you can see them in the little mesh enclosing.
So you essentially, instead of just killing them with a water trap, you're tormenting them.
Well, no, because here's the cool part about it.
After you're done using the Dynatrap, you can just unscrew it and take it outside and let them all go.
Oh, that's sick.
Yeah.
What do you mean it's not sick?
It's humane.
It's catching release.
It's catching release.
You just come right back.
It's catching release.
It's fine.
It's like, okay, here you go.
You're like some sort of an animal rights guy.
Oh, I didn't say I did it.
I'm just saying you can.
We had...
Sounds like there's no other choice if they're not dead in there.
Oh, no.
They go pretty quick.
They get sucked down in there and they're like, I got no water.
I got nothing to feed on.
But it works.
It's unbelievable.
I mean, it fills up with it.
So you're not supposed to put a little water down there with some soap in it?
No, I read the instructions.
Well, I could, but then it would kill them immediately.
And now they just get trapped down there and they're like, and you can let them go.
So it's not bad.
So I have it in the studio and not a gnat in sight.
Yeah.
Yeah, you'd have been screwed if you'd not done something about the situation.
Yeah.
No, it's good.
It's good.
These gnats, I mean, they're unbelievable.
I mean, they'll find, you know, if there's a drop of orange juice someplace, they'll breed.
And now you have a million of them coming out of a drop of orange juice you forgot to wipe up or something.
And it could be in the drain.
Yeah.
They'll go in there and they'll breed.
And they breed within, I think, just a few hours, I think they have.
Oh, really?
Oh, there's some nasty bugs.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I mean, they're not nasty so far as they're biting you or anything, but they're just all over the place.
So that is our consumer report.
Oh, no, I have another consumer report.
I have a very important one.
Actually, it goes along with this clip.
And you'll recall on the previous show, you will recall, John, I don't know if everyone who's listening today heard the previous episode.
I talked about Vladimir Putin's zombie gun.
And Erin Burnett did a report on the zombie gun.
Because, you know, she's not close enough to being fired.
So they have to, you know, like, hey, hey, Erin, I got a good one.
Did the report on the zombie gun.
Hey, everyone will love it.
By the way, did you notice that she's doing interviews now in an interview set?
Yeah, she's pretty good at that.
Yeah, no, she's very good.
I actually have another clip for later, but that's kind of nice.
You know, she's got the kind of modern contemporary white chairs and she's interviewing people and, you know, she's got her legs out, which is good.
Good for ratings and everything.
So, I don't know, maybe someone is definitely on her side.
But anyway, she brings up the zombie gun and here's her report.
Alright, this is...
Messed up.
This is messed up.
That's how I want all my news reports to start, by the way.
That sounds so credible.
The media picked up the story as one more example of Vladimir Putin's relentless quest for power.
We were suspicious of a story, though, about a zombie Reagan published just a few hours before April Fool's Day, so we tracked down the writer behind the original story.
He was home with the flu, but he answered the question of whether this was true.
He says it is.
According to Christopher Leake, the Russians are developing this weapon, and even though it's still years away, it's a good indication of where Putin's head is.
Because if the Russians do have zombie technology, it confirms a lot of things we've heard about Putin.
Some of them funny and some of them not.
What is that editorializing she does with the big sigh and the big pauses?
I have no idea.
It's like inside jokes.
Why does she have to mention the guy had the flu?
What's that got to do with the story?
Nothing.
It's a time waster.
But also, it doesn't prove anything.
It doesn't contribute anything to anything.
Maybe she's just trying to be...
Oh, somebody's told her to be more personable or more homey or whatever.
I don't know.
It's baffling.
I have no idea.
There is a PR moment here for the United States, which may be the point of the story.
But it's also a reminder, right, of how civilized America is.
But there's a problem.
We already have a gun like that.
Our own radiation ray gun.
It's called the active denial system, or pain ray.
It's a directed energy weapon developed by the American military for security and crowd control.
It is the ability to penetrate under the skin, hitting you like a needle, and then raising your body temperature like opening a microwave oven.
Unlike the Russian gun, it can't actually control your mind.
No, I think it does control you to run away.
I think that's a form of mind control, though.
So basically the Russians are trying to make a better zombie ray than the one the United States has.
The Cold War is over, but the one-utsmanship of toys continues.
The only problem is if you actually ever imagine these things being used, as opposed to kind of thinking about it like some kind of comic strip, it makes you really sick to your stomach.
Yeah, well here's the difference, Erin.
The American-based pain ray will be used, no doubt about it.
Definitely going to use that.
On the human resources.
They already did use it in certain...
I thought that's been used once or twice.
I don't think they've actually used that.
On riots.
No, they've used the sound weapon, but I don't think they've used it.
Oh, the sound weapon they have for sure.
Pain ray.
Well, let me...
So I went out Friday, John, and I tried out the zombie slayer.
That new gun that I got.
Mm-hmm.
What a piece of crap.
Oh, is it?
Did you buy it?
I told you I bought it.
Oh, yeah, you did.
Oh, what a piece of crap that is.
It's so small that you can't hook your finger around the trigger, and so, you know...
It's a girl's gun.
Oh, not even.
It's a child's gun.
And you fire it, and then it hurts, you know, the web of your hand.
Oh, it said kicks?
It doesn't really kick, but because it's so small, the way you hold it is just no good.
What do you call that?
The length that you have to draw the trigger?
The trigger travel distance or whatever?
Oh, it's really long.
And it jammed.
It jammed on me.
Brand new gun.
I'm like, get back.
This is no good.
Yeah, I might have to.
It's a horrible gun.
I mean, if I'm ever confronted with a zombie, I better have the Judge.
That thing's good.
But the Zombie Slayer...
You shot the Judge a few times?
Oh, I shot it 50 times on Friday.
The Judge rocks.
And it's very accurate.
Really?
Even with a shotgun shell in it?
Yeah.
Well, the slug, right?
You put a slug in.
Yeah, a slug.
But if you try putting buckshot or birdshot in...
I can't shoot that at the range.
It's an indoor range.
So they won't allow that.
Oh.
No buckshot.
No.
But it was fine.
It was a real manly Friday afternoon I had.
I missed you, actually.
Were you aiming at me?
No.
No, it would have been fun.
I'd like to go shooting with you.
Yeah, I'd like to shoot.
Yeah.
President, do you use excruciating laser pain ray to control unruly inmates?
Yeah.
Has it been used?
Does it say it's been used?
Assault intervention device.
It's called an assault intervention device.
I like that.
An AID. Assault intervention device.
Hey, don't assault me.
I'll intervene with you by frying you.
This is in England.
They suspect it may have been used in some prisons.
I think it's been used.
That's possible.
And, oh, we're testing the pain ray in Afghanistan.
That's right.
Now I remember.
September, yeah.
No, June 19, 2010, there was mention of it.
So why the whole zombie thing?
Is that just to make us look better?
No.
Yeah, it's McChrystal.
Huh.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Well, I will say that things are out of control media-wise.
Even with our Easter holiday, the campaign continues of pitting the citizens of the United States of Gitmo Nation against each other.
Based on race.
Oh yeah, the race thing has gotten out of control.
And there's some that are very obvious, some that are not so obvious.
So while the mainstream media, of course, is still talking about how NBC edited something to make it sound more racial, which is obviously true.
They fired the guy, etc.
I think this is the one we had a clip of where the guy's in the sound room and they're making a big...
What did he say?
No, no, no.
What they did is...
So there's a piece on the 911 tape where Zimmerman is saying, yeah, there's a guy acting suspicious and then there's a whole conversation.
Oh, yeah, right.
And they say, is he black?
He says, yeah, he looks black.
And they cut that middle part out.
They cut a bunch of stuff out.
He's looking suspicious.
He's black.
You know, it's like, oh, really?
And the compromised ABC News is really ratcheting it up.
So we had these shootings in, I think, was it Oklahoma?
Tulsa, Oklahoma?
We had some lone wolf, which you will hear in this report, go on a rampage.
But the language ABC News uses is, I think they should have their license revoked, if we could do that.
Considered as a war zone, you know, quite with...
Trying to connect the dots.
Five people randomly shot.
Two wounded and three dead.
All black.
And police suspect the shooter is a white male.
This is going to be a difficult investigation, identifying a lone wolf suspect.
The African-American community on edge.
Are the killings racially motivated?
Is someone hunting black people?
Hello?
Wow.
That's real.
Is someone hunting black people?
That's messed up, man.
There's like 30 seconds left.
You can hear how it winds up.
Based on the evidence from one of the victims, there may be good reason to be concerned.
This from a family member of a surviving victim who asked not to be identified.
And then they go straight into the unidentified sources.
You know, so not on camera, just a quote.
Is someone hunting black people?
That's just crazy, man.
That's crazy talk.
Now, I think you nailed it months ago when you figured that this was needed to get Obama re-elected.
Well, then the president, this one...
He's always chiming in.
Well, check out what he...
Did you see what he did yesterday, last night, on television, on the USA Network?
No.
Well, you probably missed it.
First he promoted the book, then he had the author come by the White House, and then on the USA Network yesterday, he did a little intro for the movie.
And now a special USA presentation.
Fifty years ago, a film came along that instantly captivated the nation.
Based on the timeless novel by Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird brought to life No matter what the cost.
And it gave us one of the great heroes of American cinema, Atticus Finch, played so memorably by the late Gregory Peck.
Half a century later, the power of this extraordinary film endures.
It still speaks to us.
It still tells us something about who we are as a people and the common values that we all share.
So I hope you enjoy the film.
And if you haven't already, I hope you get a chance to read the book.
It's an American classic, and it's one of my family's favorites.
Now, to Kill a Mockingbird.
So he's doing intros now.
What?
Yeah, To Kill a Mockingbird.
Boy, that's a great catch.
I would almost consider that clip of the day already.
So would you please explain for those who have not read To Kill a Mockingbird what the basic premise of the book is?
That's very important in context.
I can't remember what the premise of the book is.
To Kill a Mockingbird is a black man.
This is in deep segregated South.
A black man is accused of killing a white girl, and Atticus Finch, a white lawyer, decides to go...
Played by Gregory Peck.
Played by Gregory Peck.
decides to go and defend the guy, and it turns out, of course, the black guy didn't do it.
But this is brought in to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the film.
Well, that's just a lie, because yes, this film, while it was first premiered in Los Angeles on December 25th, 1962, which is still more than half a year away, it didn't actually go into full release which is still more than half a year away, it didn't actually go into full release until So he's off almost a year.
Yeah, so they conveniently move this forward.
Yeah, because you can't do it in a year because the election will be over.
Thank you very much.
And hey, if we're going to do books, let's do Atlas Shrugged.
Let's do the 75th anniversary of that.
There's tons of other books we can commemorate.
How about Mein Kampf?
Let's do that one.
That would be a great one to commemorate.
So that to me is just complete ratcheting up of racial tensions.
Which I think is unnecessary.
And to top it off, John, so we know that we have Skittles benefiting.
Skillets.
Well, so I think Al Sharpton is on to something.
I'm literally watching cable news.
I don't know if it was CNBC or CNN. Before the show started, I had to rewind the DVR to record this commercial that came on.
They say diamonds are a girl's best friend.
But who knew they would actually make the greatest cooking surface ever?
Well, it does.
And now you can have it in the Yoshi Blue Diamondware Skillet.
The amazing new cookware surface.
They're jumping on the bandwagon.
The skillet people.
They're like, hey man, this Al Sharpton's on a roll.
We gotta jump on this skillet thing.
That's actually made from polarized diamonds and nanoceramic.
Guaranteed to be the greatest pan you've ever used.
It doesn't stick.
So it stays looking like new.
And no matter what...
And how often have you heard someone go into Target and say, do you have any skillets?
No, that's for a pan, a frying pan or something.
But there they are, advertising a skillet.
Ah, this is a great country or what?
We have no shame.
Well, let's see what else we have from 1962.
We have Lawrence of Arabia.
Great movie.
You can come in and introduce that.
Yeah.
True foes, Jules and Jim.
Oh, here's the one.
Here's the one he should deal with.
This came out in 1962.
The Manchurian Candidate.
Oh, that's the one!
Can you just see him?
And now, everybody, let me introduce to you the story of my...
I mean, a great story.
The Manchurian Candidate.
That would be good.
That would be perfect.
The man who shot Liberty Valance, there's another big hit.
And whatever happened to Baby Jane is from that, and so was Lolita.
These are all great movies.
How come the president isn't doing, why don't we, doesn't he proclaim it Great Movie Month?
Days of Wine and Roses.
The Music Man.
Another good one.
Yeah, there's a bunch of them on here.
Dr.
No, the first James Bond movie came out in 1962.
How the West Was Won, a huge hit.
How about this one?
Mutiny on the Bounty, 1962.
Another Gregory Peck.
Isn't that also Peck?
No, no, that was...
It was.
Yeah, it was.
Hello.
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah, Gregory, how many movies...
These guys used to work a lot harder than they do today.
Advise and Consent, that Otto Preminger film.
Birdman of Alcatraz.
Hello, another classic.
I think the Manchurian candidate is your best find there.
That would be the one for him to do.
And what is he doing intro?
It's almost like, and now?
I mean, he could go on MTV segments.
And now?
The real world.
And now?
Back to Snooki.
I mean, just hire him to do that.
He'd be perfect.
And now, Whitesnake.
Anyway.
Whitesnake.
Anyway.
Anyway, also, there's a lot more.
Dave made a lot of movies in the 90s too, but I think maybe another good one to introduce would be Mr.
Magoo's Christmas Carol.
Anyway, so I believe that that is only brought in just to ratchet stuff up.
Yeah, no, this is all...
You're right.
You've got a double checkmark in the Red Book for calling this one early.
Called it early.
He's going to turn this into a race issue.
And if he loses, which would be a real problem, if he loses, there would be race riots because of him doing this.
Because of...
Actually, it's probably not even him.
It's that...
Campaign jerk-off that he's got doing everything.
Axelrod.
Yeah.
Well, it's all Valerie Jarrett, the true president.
She's the one really doing it.
She's really pulling all the strings.
We have another Red Book conversation to bring up.
But first, let's thank some producers who came in and gave us a little Easter egg.
Yes.
We should do that.
Does this mean you're still bringing up the spreadsheet the way your inflection and intonation is?
Yes, in fact, I believe that we should take a look and thank...
Some of the fantastic executive producers who helped us on show 398, including Chad Biderman, or Biderman, depending on how you want to pronounce it, but I think it's Biderman.
Biderman, yeah.
In Round Lake, Illinois, who came in with a huge amount, $800.
Happy birthday to me, he says.
Hope it rocked.
Not sure, but this donation might take me to knighthood.
Apparently it does.
Might be just shy.
Apparently it's not.
And he wants an 11.5 ring size.
And he's also got a birthday.
Please hand me to your birthday list, which he hasn't been added to.
You have to put him on the list.
Oh, how did that happen?
That's not good.
No, no.
Well, this is very, very nice of you, Joe.
Chad.
Joe.
Hey, Joe.
Just call.
Can I call you Joe?
Hey, Chad.
Can I call you Joe?
No, Chad's on the list.
He's on the list.
Oh, he is?
Okay.
That is unexpected and very, very kind, and thank you for supporting the work that we're doing.
Yeah, and it saved Easter.
It did.
Along with Alan Bean in Oakland, who's been donating for a long time, $50, usually by checks.
Okay, guys, show $397 was a hoodie, gave $350.
Congrats on your upcoming, Adam.
Okay, whatever.
I think he means nuptials, probably.
Am I reckoning I've been made knighthood since becoming a listener since January 2011?
Thanks for continuing education and entertainment.
Thanks to you guys, my pretend wife is coming around from her previous upending demeanor towards facts presented by the mainstream media.
My best.
What is this pretend wife business?
I'm not asking.
Okay.
He's living with somebody, obviously.
Clearly.
And they're not, I guess, fully married.
Maybe.
Who knows?
Ross Hayes, Stevenage, Hurt for sure.
Hurt for sure.
At $250, he's been a douchebag for far too long now.
I'm out of college and on the road to being a successful slave.
It's time to get my night on.
Can I get a karma for Mr.
Costner, the man who looks like a lesbian from behind?
Yeah.
And can you please play the Gitmo National Anthem, even if John doesn't like it?
We played it at the beginning of today's show.
If you listen online, we can play it.
We play it a lot.
Yeah, we do play it a lot.
Well, let me give him a karma here for the lesbian from behind.
You've got karma.
That means, actually.
I don't know.
Michael Kearns, Platte City, Missouri, 216-78.
Can I get a slide whistle in the morning?
Douchebag, two to the head, chemtrail karma.
Okay, hold on a second.
Slide whistle.
We should not be encouraging this.
Well, we've got to do it now.
Slide whistle in the morning, douchebag.
Let me see.
Slide whistle in the morning.
I'll cue it with the slide whistle.
In the morning, douchebag, two to the head chemtrail.
Okay.
All right.
Ready?
Yeah, let's try it.
In the morning.
Uh.
Tempales.
Uh...
You've got karma.
Not so tight.
No, it's hard to do that.
It's very hard.
Uh, Sir Yaz in Linden, North Carolina.
Oh, by the way, Michael says he needs the karma shot to deal with douchebag lawyers.
Sir Yaz in Linden, North Carolina, 201, if you can, please provide a huntsman karma shot, and then please call my pals.
Here, let's start with this.
Steve Lucas, Sean, and Jay Silver, douchebags.
Douchebags.
They've been listening to this show and have not donated, and he wants a huntsman karma shot, which brings me to a note I want to read.
Okay, here we go.
He doesn't understand this.
teaching You've got karma.
Alright.
Well, where is it?
Is this about pronunciations?
Yeah, let me read this.
This is from William Shea.
I've had too many emails.
He wants his email thing straightened out because he gets a bunch of these letters.
He says, I think the following will help Adam properly pronounce the Huntsman phrase.
And he's got it listed here in phonetics.
He says that Huntsman botches it so bad that it hurts his ears to hear him say it.
And he says, I think you need, this is what the important part is about the last donation.
By the way, I think you need to remind people that the huntsman phrase translates to English as, he doesn't understand the situation.
So I think a huntsman karma should be reserved for karma given to, well, idiots.
I don't think it's right for anyone to wish for a huntsman karma on themselves or their loved ones.
That's one man's opinion.
That's up to everyone else.
We're still happy to do whatever you want.
We highly appreciate the support from our executive producers and associate executive producers for today's episode 3, 9, or 8.
Of course, as always, these are real credits.
Someone asked me the other day, has anyone taken you guys up on Yeah, once.
Somebody asked about something.
And it's in some field that would make sense.
Oh shoot, we'll lie.
You can just use us as a reference.
This reminds me of apparently when you get a college degree from Evergreen University up in Washington, which is a very famous place where Matt Groening went, a weirdly, oddly famous small hippie school where my son graduated.
Apparently, if you're looking for a job, you can tell them you got a degree in anything you want, and Evergreen will verify it.
Really?
Yeah, I got a degree in chemical engineering.
So they call up, yeah, chemical engineering.
So what does that college cost for a degree there?
It's actually...
Can't be cheap.
It's in the Washington State University system, so it's in the same league as the University of Washington.
So we're a good deal, though?
But it's cheap.
It's like $17,000.
Oh, so we're a good deal.
Oh yeah.
Compared to those guys, we're a great deal.
There's no $17,000 involved here.
Well, if you'd like to support us, the way to do that is by going to the following address.
Dvorak.org slash NA. And you can also go to ChannelDvorak.com slash NA, NoAgendaShow.com and NoAgendaNation.com and click on the Donate button there.
And since it is Easter, we are working today, as always.
I don't think we ever, well, only New Year's Day that we had a clip show, which turned out to be more work than a regular show.
I think that was on, I don't think that was New Year's, that was on Christmas.
Christmas, you're right.
Christmas.
Yeah, I did tell you.
It took me two years to do it.
And it was annoyingly boring.
And here's the problem with that clip show, is that you put a whole set of clips together, and I did it in chunks, and you piece them together, and you go, oh crap, I already did those!
You gotta go pull them out.
But because of the Easter holiday, no PR mentions.
No one did any work for us in that regard.
But of course, you can still go out and do something extremely important, which involves propagating the formula.
Our formula is this.
We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
New.
World.
Order.
Come on, everybody, say it loud.
Shut up!
Sweet.
My slide whistle has not arrived yet, unfortunately.
Thank God.
I expect it to be here Thursday so we can jam.
It was suggested to me that we request, if any listeners out there have oddball, old-fashioned sound effects, that they should send it to the post office box where the checks are received, box 339 El Cerrito, California, 94530.
And I will introduce them to the show.
And I'm looking for the coconut husks.
That provide the clippity-clop sound and used in the silent movies in the day.
Oh, very good idea.
And radio plays.
Very good idea.
I like that.
It's clippity-clop.
The message is clear.
It's clippity-clop.
So I sent you three emails about this, John.
You didn't answer a single one of them.
I didn't probably get them.
They went to spam.
Sure.
I kept saying, you brought up a note from your economic hitman contact who warned you about Malawi.
And I said, when, because I dutifully deleted the email, you know, because I don't want to, you know, we don't want to get anyone in any trouble.
So I got rid of the email.
So I couldn't search on the date that it came in.
So I couldn't go back and find the show where you read his note.
And what did his note say?
He, well, this is why I didn't get to this mail.
You sent me like 25 mails.
What?
He got LAAFB, possible donation to show, no agenda killing gnats in Texas, and some other ones.
Well, what did his notes say?
Let me look him up.
Ch-ch-ch-ch.
I can get you the date too, but yeah, he said, he mentioned, it was a note about, actually I don't even need to look it up because I can kind of remember.
He was berating us for certain things that we were saying that were wrong.
You guys suck.
Oh, by the way.
And then it was an, oh, by the way, you know, if I were you, I'd look at Malawi, because there's apparently a bunch of weird stuff going on, and he said, I think this was like a month ago or longer, and he, it was a tip-off, and then we mentioned it on the show, and then I got another letter from him saying, well, yeah, I guess I did mean to mention it, so you look into it, and And so we talked about how this guy's...
We talked a little bit about it, but we don't have any further information.
We haven't heard anything about it since.
But the guy's dead.
Oh, by the way, he did send me a note after this happened.
Hold on a second.
Hold on a second.
Before you get to that, let me just back it up for a second.
So our economic hitman, this was only a couple of weeks ago, says, make sure you take a look at what's going on in Malawi.
Now, the significance of him being an economic hitman is the way the economic hitmen work is they go in and they go into a country and say, OK, here's the idea.
We're going to give you billions of dollars in aid.
And the way it's going to work is we are going to give that money not to you, but we're going to give that money to American companies or could be the Chinas in this case, but American companies.
And they're going to build these facilities, oil and gas and pipelines and gold mines.
and you're going to allow that.
You're going to give them all of the concessions.
And of course, there will be $100 million in the black bag for you.
And if you don't, then we'll kill you.
And did I sum that up properly?
That's pretty much the thesis of the book Economic Hitman by John Perkins.
So then we get the warning to take a look at all the crap that's going on in Malawi, and all of a sudden, I'll read the news report verbatim because it was kind of interesting.
President of Malawi Binguwa Mutarika dies of, quote, heart attack.
I love the British press.
But they can't...
What was the funny thing?
They can't do an autopsy because they don't know where his body is.
Yeah, that's the way to do it.
So the guy was clearly not cooperating one way or the other, and they offed him.
As forewarned.
And what did your economic hitman follow up with?
What did he say?
Well, he didn't say anything that's necessarily important, but he says the reports about how the...
He says that all the...
And he mentioned a couple of reports that are official from the U.S. government saying that they have to follow a scheme to put the vice president in.
And you read all the news reports that says the same thing.
He says this is all bullcrap, that the guy, the dead guy's brother, has already taken over.
Ah, okay.
And this is mentioned no place.
No, of course not.
So do you think it's an Abel versus Cain thing?
You know, that would make sense.
Especially if the guy's brother does eventually, you know, take full control of the country.
But we'll see.
I mean, it'll take a couple weeks before it shakes out.
I mean, but right now it's being reported that they go, oh, they're looking, the vice president's going to do this and that.
And there's not a mention that the guy even has a brother.
But, you know, you heard it here first.
Yeah.
Well, that's why people tune into the show is to listen to some actual news and some Yeah, reporting from people who are on the ground as opposed to people who are reading press releases.
Like Aaron Burnett, who's pursuing zombie guns.
Very good, Aaron.
Zombie guns.
We talked about the directed energy weapons three years ago, I think.
She did have a cool, this is like a 10-second quote.
No, I'm sorry, it's longer.
It's 23 seconds.
Deepak Chopra.
He's out shilling his book.
Now, this is the Deepak Chopra who's the guru guy.
And I think he...
Oh, I know him.
I've heard him talk.
I think he had the quote of the week.
He always has a quote of the week.
The guy's a quote meister.
He is the quote meister.
Here's his quote which just tickled me.
What happened is we created a false economy by creating these derivatives which were not based on value or service or product and we kind of bamboozled the country into spending money that they hadn't earned to buy things that they didn't need to impress people that they didn't like.
I like that.
That is funny.
Hold on a second.
I'm going to restart the...
People are complaining about the stream.
The stream is open now.
JC just is moaning about it.
All right.
Hold on.
Let me just restart that.
Let me see.
I have no idea what's going on.
Oh.
It says error login failed.
Hmm.
Let me see.
Login failing.
Why?
Alright, well, whatever.
They'll have to fix that.
There we go.
We're on the air again.
Alright.
Yay!
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what's going on.
But I thought that was one of his better quotes.
I like that one.
Yeah, most of his quotes are all...
You know, his basic philosophy is that we don't even exist, so I don't see why he even cares.
I mean, he honestly believes this is all a dream.
I mean, that's essentially his thesis.
Well, I do like the things that we bought, things we didn't need to impress people we didn't like.
Yeah, I know.
I liked that one, too.
That's pretty good.
That's really good.
And I read a disturbing article.
Just to bring this evergreen clip out again of General Wesley Clark.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We have to play it once.
Is it okay to play it again?
Yeah, I'm trying to think if I have a tie-in that I can use.
Well, I read a disturbing article and I wanted to play the clip first and then tell you about this article I read that it's about clippity-clop Lucifer Clinton.
So let's just revisit General Wesley Clark shooting his mouth off after 9-11 about the entire plan that was laid out that he had at that time no problem sharing with the world.
About 10 days after 9-11, I went through the Pentagon, and I saw Secretary Rumsfeld and Deputy Secretary Wolfowitz.
I went downstairs just to say hello to some of the people on the Joint Staff who used to work for me, and one of the generals called me in.
He said, sir, you've got to come in and talk to me a second.
I said, well, you're too busy.
He said, no, no.
He says, we've made the decision we're going to war with Iraq.
This was on or about the 20th of September.
I said, we're going to war with Iraq.
Why?
He said, I don't know.
He said, I guess they don't know what else to do.
So, I said, well, did they find some information connecting Saddam to Al-Qaeda?
He said, no, no.
He says, there's nothing new that way.
They've just made the decision to go to war with Iraq.
He said, I guess it's like, we don't know what to do about terrorists, but...
We've got a good military and we can take down governments.
And he said, I guess if the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem has to look like a nail.
So I came back to see him a few weeks later, and by that time we were bombing in Afghanistan.
I said, are we still going to war with Iraq?
And he said, oh, it's worse than that.
He said, he reached over on his desk, he picked up a piece of paper, and he said, I just got this down from upstairs, meeting the Secretary of Defense's office today, and he said, this is a memo that describes how we're going to take out seven countries in five years, starting with Iraq, and then Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, and finishing off Iran.
So the only one we didn't get is Libya.
We got Libya.
We got Syria.
We're working on that.
We have Sudan.
Somalia.
We got our drones there.
Lebanon.
That's the only one we haven't really captured yet.
So there's this article in Elle magazine about...
The Woman's Magazine?
Yes, the Woman's Magazine.
And you can find all of these links in the show notes at 398.nashownotes.com.
And so it's kind of a puff piece.
It's about the most powerful woman in the universe, of course.
And the reporter is following Lucifer Clippity Clop, Hillary Clinton.
And she follows her in New York.
Where Hillary is speaking at the International Crisis Group, which is a fine organization.
And who is emceeing the evening?
Wolf Blitzer.
I mean, how...
How obvious can we make it here?
I mean, that's really not okay.
Who's in the audience?
Queen Noor of Jordan, Colin Powell, and...
Wesley Clark.
So he's flipped back over.
Interesting.
He's also still alive.
I might like to point out.
I was listening to that clip again, and I realized one of our economic hitmen sent us a note telling us that we're...
I think he basically just calls in to criticize us.
Yeah, well, that's what they do.
Saying that we're mispronouncing these words.
And I think there are code ways to pronounce words and...
Other ways, and if you're in the inside, because I do have some clips, another one of these clips with these professors that are actually out of the government teaching security studies and the like, and they pronounce the words correctly.
Okay.
And I think it's an indicator that you're in the inside when you pronounce it correctly, and the correct pronunciation is Iraq.
No, no, it's Iraq.
It's ear rock and ear ran.
No, I read the note and he says I-E-Y-E. You're supposed to say I-Ron and I-Rock.
Read the note again.
I think I deleted that one too.
Read the note!
I'm going to have to go get it now, because apparently you are not...
Oh, that's interesting.
I read it.
I read it very carefully.
I read it twice.
I'm like, okay, so from now on we have to say I rock, and he literally spells it R-O-C-K. Here it is.
No, that's not it.
That's me asking you for...
It's from me.
No, I know.
I know.
Well, where is it?
Come on, man.
It's in your email.
Well, I mean, yeah, I'm looking for it now.
Yeah.
But I have all these notes to you about the bug killer that are making it difficult to find anything.
Well, anyway, okay, well, let me find that document, and then I'll get back to the topic.
But we do have these, the two professors, the guy that you didn't like, Koenig, who said, we're going to bomb him, we're going to bomb him, and let's just, you know, get it over with.
And there's another guy, apparently he's, I don't know, a senior intellectually, and he came on to just say no.
And it was a very interesting...
There was the same guy who was on C-Span, these two guys.
And the new guy, whose name is...
Colin Call, or Colin Call, he's from Georgetown, too.
They're both from Georgetown, but this guy teaches security studies, and he's out of the Pentagon, and he has all kinds of different things to say, and I do have a clip, which would be, let's see, Heavy Hitters, no, that's the end of the show clip.
clip.
I have an end of show clip that's quite good if we have time.
Great.
I've got too many clips.
You're doing great.
It's all right.
No.
Oh, yeah.
Interesting nuke situation in the UAE. Somebody who asked the question actually brings up a bunch of issues and points that I didn't even know that all these people were working on nuclear power, but play that.
Okay.
Dr.
Kahl said one of your points was that in 60 years, there have only been nine countries that violated the nonproliferation.
We've only gone nuclear.
Nine countries have gone nuclear.
Already we have not only the three countries that both of you mentioned, Egypt, Turkey, and Saudi Arabia, but also Algeria, Bahrain, and United Arab Emirates, all signatories to the NPT, have all announced nuclear programs.
Pakistan is now building two more heavy water plutonium processing plants, a second chemical processing plant.
So within the context, you know, the nine countries are within the context of the U.S.-Soviet competition.
Now we're within the context of the Middle East and the Sunni-Shia ferocity.
So my question is, doesn't that change the likelihood of more countries getting nukes?
You know, it could, although I think we have to be very careful.
I mean, one of the countries you mentioned was the UAE, and we should hope that every country in the world develops its nuclear program along with the UAE, the way the UAE has, because the UAE, through its 1-2-3 agreement with the United States, has given up the right to domestic enrichment.
What?
Anyway.
You have to, as long as you follow the 1-2-3.
What is the 1-2-3?
Another one of these sign-offs that I guess we go around from country to country and say, look, you guys can't do this.
Nuclear 1-2-3.
If you want to make a nuclear power plant, you follow these rules.
In other words, you don't do enrichment.
We do it for you.
And that's what they've been trying to make this agreement with the Iranians.
And here's the note.
Iranians.
Iran and Iraq, the name for someone from Iran is Irani.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
I remember.
I thought it was I, but he said ear.
You're right.
Yeah, Iran is the way...
Iran.
Iran.
Iraq.
But anyway, so the pronunciation, and these two characters that you heard part of one of those two guys...
Can I just interrupt you here?
They're right on the money with their pronunciations.
Oh, yeah.
I have here the UAE-123 nuclear agreement.
That was good.
Yeah, I know.
Isn't the internet great for this show?
Yeah.
I got the, let's see what it says.
This is the actual PDF. I'm looking for the, it should be a three-step program, right?
Where's the one, two, and three?
Maybe they just call it that.
Yeah, they do just call it that.
It's like 24-hour dry cleaners.
You go in there, say, like, get this by tomorrow.
It says, no, you can't have it.
It'll be two weeks.
Wait a minute, it says 24-hour dry cleaners.
That's just the name of the place.
And meanwhile, I find that interesting that, you know, good buddies there of the UAE, United Arab Emirates, is Bahrain.
And there are hundreds of thousands of people protesting on the streets now in Bahrain.
Bahrain's not in the UAE. No, no, they're friends.
They're friends.
They're good buddies.
And they have the Formula One races there.
It's the Austin of the Middle East is what it is.
Yeah.
And...
Do you know that the Dutch Queen, I forgot to mention this last time we talked about it, so Beatrix, the Dutch Queen, she wanted to go to Bahrain because she's friends with the Prince.
And the Prime Minister said, and I think they had a discussion in Parliament, said, well, you can't do that.
That's really politically not okay because Bahrain is, they're shooting people in the streets, kind of like Syria, except we don't care about that because they're our buddies and they've got the Formula One.
And what the Queen said, well screw you, I'm going on personal title.
And she went anyway.
She's hanging out with dictators who kill people.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Good for her.
Independent woman.
While I'm on that, the 30th of April, you know what that is, because you've been in Amsterdam even, on the 30th of April.
That is our Queen's Day celebration.
Yeah, so it's actually fun to go to.
If anyone's in the area, any Americans who like to travel Europe, I would recommend it.
Well, you better un-recommend it.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, because first of all, no more drinking on the street.
What?
That's what it's all about.
It's about drinking on the street.
Sorry, slave.
No more drinking on the street.
There's beers and bars are all open.
They've got to set up special places where they're pouring the Heineken and the other stuff by the tonne.
Mostly Heineken.
I'm sorry.
No service for you!
Nothing on the street.
But here's the best part.
And Heineken, by the way, there tastes really good.
It tastes like a good bud.
Anyway, go ahead.
Go on.
I'm sorry.
It's a joke.
So the queen always visits a town with her entourage.
And you'll recall that, was it two years ago maybe now?
Yeah, I think it was two years ago.
That the guy tried to kill her.
He tried to run her down.
Run her down, and he succeeded in killing a whole bunch of other people and himself.
Yeah.
Actually, I think he wasn't dead, but they killed him in the car.
Something like that.
It was not good.
So she will be visiting the hamlet of, I think it's right by Utrecht.
renin Renen, near Utrecht.
And so the people of Utrecht, the mayor...
Who is this super uber douchebag with, you know, he has the orange striped tie, you know, like, oh, I love the queen.
So he does a town hall meeting.
He says, okay, here's the deal.
No cars allowed on the street.
Oh, and by the way, you're not allowed to have your car in your garage.
And the Secret Service will be coming by everybody's door and will come into your house and inspect it.
And if you don't comply, you will be arrested.
What?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But we're going to have a great party.
He actually ends up in his town hall meeting.
Where are you supposed to put your car?
Take it out of town.
You've got to park it somewhere else.
You cannot have your car in town or even in your garage.
And they will knock on your door.
And you have to let them in so they can search your house.
What if your car is immobilized because it's got two flat tires or it's got a bad engine and it's stuck in the garage?
What happens to you?
No one got into that detail.
Apparently.
First thing I thought of.
But then they do the man on the street interview, so what do you think about this?
And what does the first guy say?
Well, if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about.
They can come in.
What an idiot.
I mean, this is...
I can't believe the Dutchess are allowing this.
Well, it's a whole generation of them.
It's weird.
I think it's a worldwide phenomenon.
They're just a worst-case example.
I'm just like, I'm flabbergasting.
And just the hubris of this mayor, who's probably like 30, maybe 35.
Oh, really?
Real collegiate-looking guy, and he's got the orange tie.
He's like, look, we're here to have a good, great party for the queen.
It's going to be awesome.
What's this guy's name?
Hmm.
Hold on a second.
Yeah, you want to see a picture of him?
I'm going to go to Google.
I'm going to image him and see what we got.
Okay, hold on.
His name is...
What's the name of the town?
Renan.
I think it's R... R-E-H-E-E-N-E, I think it is.
R-E-H-E-E-N-E. Someone in the chat room helped me out.
Niedermeyer.
There you go.
Thank you very much.
Niedermeyer.
N-E-E-D-E-R-M-E-Y-E-R. N-E-I-D-E-R-M-E-Y-E-R? N-E-E-D-E-R-M-E-Y-E-R. N-E-E, of course.
That doesn't look right.
Maybe it's N-I-E. Let me see.
No, that's not right.
Hey, chat room, that's wrong.
Yeah, there's nothing like that here.
Mayor Douchebaggin suggested...
Wait, the town is Rhenen.
R-H-E-N-E-N. That'll help.
Okay, hold on.
R-H-E-N-E-N. Rhenen.
All right, let's try this.
R-H-E... Oh, there you go.
Yes, so go to Google Images and just type in Burgermeester van Rennen.
And there's a zoo in Rennen.
Yes, there is.
There's quite a big zoo, actually.
You're right.
You have to see the guy.
You've got to see him.
He's a total douche knuckle.
Well, I got a guy here, but he's a gray-haired guy.
No, no, no, no.
Hold on.
I got Burgermeister Reinen.
R-E-H-E-N-E-N. Look, I'm going to send you a link.
You've got to see this.
Here we go.
Hold on.
You don't judge people by their appearances.
Yeah, I do.
Completely.
Crazy.
I think it was Oscar Wilde who says, only a fool doesn't judge people by their appearances.
Exactly.
And that guy was smart.
Here we go.
Okay, I'm emailing it to you now.
All right.
Send without subject.
Yes.
You just got to see the guy.
He's like he walks straight out of the economic university.
You're emailing it.
Yeah.
So if you look on the side.
There it is.
Okay, it's the guy.
Do you see?
It's a great picture, by the way.
Look down on the side.
You have images.
It's the bottom one.
The bottom one?
Yeah.
Oh, brother.
Oh my god.
He's got a big overbite.
He looks like a total douchebag.
Douchebag!
Ed, that's the guy.
He looks like the kind of guy that looks...
People, you've got to put this in the show notes just so people can see what this guy looks like.
Okay, I will.
Inspectors will be coming by.
Yeah, inspectors will be coming by.
That's right.
Just to check.
But hey, if you have nothing to hide, what's your problem?
Slave?
You've got no problem.
Who is this person in the blue picture?
The third down on the left.
The woman.
The old lady.
Let me see.
It looks like she's got a Bluetooth device, doesn't it?
Yeah, she's got a Bluetooth device, and she's got a blue dress, and she looks like...
I'm going to give this to the chat room.
They need to see that.
Let me see.
It doesn't really say...
Does it say on the bottom?
No, it doesn't really...
It's about the catering company.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It doesn't say.
This mayor guy is too funny.
What a douche, right?
He's got his little mayoral chain on and everything.
But literally, he says to the slaves there, he says, hey, you know, if you don't cooperate, you could find yourself in jail.
And everyone's like, oh, okay.
I got nothing to hide.
Might as well do that.
That's a nice piece of depressing information.
Yeah.
It is depressing because, you know, Queens Day used to be exactly that.
You could sell anything you want on the street.
Well, they have a party the night before, the pre-Queens Day party, which is a huge, it's like a fraternity drunk fest.
A lot of people don't even make it to Queens Day because of the party the night before.
Yep.
Well, now you just let the...
So what happens to that party?
They get to still drink the night before?
No, no, no, no.
You've got to be cleaning up the house the night before for the brown shirts to come in and inspect.
Oh, yeah, that's the other thing.
You obviously have to clean your house up.
Yeah.
What if it's not that time of month where you actually clean?
It's terrible.
One lady in the report actually said, I don't mind as long as they let me know beforehand so I can clean stuff up.
Yeah.
He actually said it.
Yeah, well, it's...
Wow.
Yeah.
Well, that's where we're headed.
So, Queen's Day is now off the list.
I take back the recommendation.
Oh, yeah.
No, Queen's Day is no longer a recommendation.
Yeah, no, that's no fun.
What's the point?
I don't know.
Well, anyway.
There you go.
That's what it is.
Okay.
Here's a good story.
China buys inroads in the Caribbean.
I saw that.
I was like, wait.
Bahamas, brand new $35 million stadium opened here in the Bahamas a few weeks ago.
A gift from the Chinese government.
Yep.
They're bribing their way into the Bahamas.
Well, we know that the Caribbean has tons of oil and gas.
This is what the whole Haiti thing was about.
I mean, we know it.
Why do you think the Law of the Seas has their office in Kingston, Jamaica?
I mean, we know that there's tons in there, so the Chinese know it, but this report, this article that you referenced doesn't say that.
In fact, it says quite the opposite.
No, it's just the stuff, right.
Yeah.
This is very poorly done.
The tiny island nation of Dominica has received a grammar school, a renovated hospital, and a sports stadium, also courtesy of the Chinese.
I guess they like to build stadiums.
Antigua and Barbuda got a power plant and a cricket stadium, another stadium.
Mm-hmm.
And a new school is on the way.
The Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago can thank the Chinese contractors for the craftsmanship in her official residence.
Hello.
Talk about out-and-out blatant bribes.
Oh, you're going to fix my house.
Terrific.
Come on in, bitches.
Oh, well, I'm glad you started the topic, John.
Pipeline Fever.
Pipeline Fever.
Report from the UK. Of course, we've seen clippity-clop Hillary Clinton in Myanmar, also known as Burma, sucking up with her BFF there.
And here's the headline.
UK firms in secret talks on joining Burmese gold rush.
Oh, yeah.
Shell HSBC standard chartered among the British firms getting ready to wheel into Burma.
So there's tons of grooviness going on, and that market is opening up, and the sanctions are going to be dropped.
So we're going to see a big bonanza.
What?
I said for a while.
I mean, this is a flip-flop kind of a...
Well, the Chinas are already in there.
They've got their pipeline there.
Remember, we talked about that.
So they've got the pipeline there.
But as long as, you know, the country's screwed up as far as I'm concerned.
I mean, they're always going back and forth between a kind of a democracy and then they become a dictatorship again.
It never ends.
And they attack the pipeline again from Egypt, which goes up through the Sinai Desert.
Blew up another piece again.
So it's all still in play.
Going back to this China article, it's interesting they play it as a thing to do with Taiwan.
I read a thing that was about tourism.
Well, no, this is an enduring tug-of-war with Taiwan.
Others have switched, too.
That means switched allegiances.
With little financial encouragement, Granada ended relations with Taiwan in 2004 and is now in talks with China about getting a new national track and field stadium.
Who's in China that's building a stadium thing?
It seems like a theme to me.
I think the stadium thing is to keep the male human resources pacified.
We didn't have stadiums 100 years ago.
We just didn't.
That's part of the whole...
No, we had...
A hundred years ago, we had stadiums.
Not like we have our professional sports teams today.
And even you get sucked in.
I mean, this is...
The male testosterone has to go somewhere.
So we train the male human resources to get behind teams of their own gladiators.
And, you know, they go...
I've never understood it myself.
Oh, apparently.
Yeah.
No, I don't.
I really don't.
I find no joy in watching a sports game except maybe the Super Bowl for the television event.
Why would you watch even that if you don't like it at all?
Because it's an interesting television production.
I watch it for that reason and that reason alone.
I don't watch basketball.
I don't watch baseball.
I don't watch sailing.
My goodness.
I don't watch sailing.
Who watches sailing?
Well, is it any less boring than golf?
Hello?
I don't watch golf.
I don't like golf.
I like golf.
I think it's boring to watch.
It's a huge ratings draw.
Golf was big this weekend.
I've always been baffled by that.
Well, it's because people have, they've got to, they've got human urges and they have to get behind a guy or a team and that's what it's for.
And it's beautiful.
You contain the people and their handy doubles to round people up and shove them in there when you need to.
Put some barbed wire on the top.
It's groovy.
It's very effective.
Mm-hmm.
So I've never understood it.
I went to college for three months.
I'm not going to go to no pep rally for the team.
What the hell is that?
Are there hot chicks there?
Yeah, but they're all hanging out with the team.
Well, screw that.
I'm going to go there.
I've never understood it.
Sorry, never, ever understood it.
You should try to understand it.
Why?
To what benefit?
How did we talk about this sort of thing?
What benefit will that give me?
What, understanding is not a good thing?
Here's the kind of stuff I try to understand.
Senate Bill 1813.
I have Senate Bill.
I did some work for you all.
I have Senate Bill 1813 marked up the PDF in the show notes for your convenience.
This bill is, interestingly enough, titled...
Hold on a second as I bring it up here.
The...
To reauthorize federal aid highway and highway safety construction programs and for other purposes...
And in this bill, on page, wow, 1,447, section 7345.
Is this the passport?
Yes, it is.
Yeah, we blogged this before last show, by the way.
I was actually going to bring it up in the last show, but I figured to let you read it is better.
Yeah.
I'm sure you found something else besides that.
Actually, let me see.
No, there wasn't really anything else.
The way it's reported is not completely...
I mean, there's one paragraph that really, and it's just, it's weird because no one says, what I thought was interesting is this is the Transportation Act, you know, it's to build roads and things like that.
What was it called again exactly?
It's to reauthorize federal aid highway and highway safety construction programs and for other purposes.
It doesn't have a good catchy name though.
But it's not like, you know, they should say instead of other purposes, you know, to restrict slaves or something.
But here it is.
In general, If the Secretary receives certification by the Commissioner of Internal Revenue that any individual has seriously delinquent tax debt, and this is the part that no one reported on, in an amount in excess of $50,000, which can happen pretty quickly,
by the way, The Secretary shall transmit such certification to the Secretary of State for action with respect to denial, revocation, or limitation of a passport pursuant to Section 4 of the Act entitled An Act to Regulate the Issue and Validity of Passports and for Other Purposes.
Let's back up.
What has this got to do with the highways at all?
That's the point.
That's what I found interesting.
This clearly was just slipped in on page 1,447.
And I think CBS actually caught this.
CBS News.
That was also interesting to me.
But this is part of...
And that's the bigger bill.
This, by the way, who's the sponsor of this bill?
Do you remember?
I can look it right up.
The dipshit from California, Barbara Boxer.
Yeah.
Uh, that's interesting.
Let me look at the...
Let me look at the...
I can tell you exactly who it is.
It's Barbara Boxer.
I just told you.
Now, this has already passed, by the way.
She's not the only one.
She's the sponsor.
There's no other person mentioned.
Interesting.
I'm looking at government, govtrack.us.
But this is a part of something bigger?
It has not passed the House.
It's past the Senate.
It's past the Senate, correct.
So it needs to pass the House and it gets signed by the President.
But this is part of the Map 21, and this is what caught my eye.
Moving ahead for progress in the 21st Century Act.
So this is a, and this thing, I mean, I haven't gotten to all of it.
I hope to have more information on Thursday.
But MAP-21, which of course conveniently kind of, you know, got that 21 thing in there.
And actually, according to GovTrack.us, it's S1813, that is the name of the bill, MAP-21.
Is that the short title?
Yes, it is.
You're right.
Short title, this act may be cited as moving ahead for progress in the 21st Century Act.
You're right.
And it's organized into eight divisions.
So, I mean, here it is.
But it's really, you know, it's federal highways, public transportation, transportation, safety, and surface transport policy, finance, and I couldn't find anything in there, research and education, and then miscellaneous This fell under miscellaneous.
Then there's air transportation and budgetary effects.
It's a monster of a bill.
How many pages in total is it?
In total, 1,662 pages.
But, you know, I find it...
I don't know.
What's your feeling about this?
If someone owes $50,000 in taxes and is not paid, should they be allowed to travel outside the country?
I think people should be allowed to travel outside the country anytime they want to.
What are they worried about?
That they're going to skip out on $50,000?
It's always going to be owed them.
What about people that are overseas working as we speak in France and they're racking up a big bill and they're over there as we speak?
And what are they going to do?
Take their passport away and make them come back?
Yeah, in fact, it even says that the Secretary of State can authorize issuance of a passport that can only be used for coming back into the United States.
So what happens is, you know, you take your passport, you want to fly to a different country, and let's say you want to go to the United Kingdom, not a part of the Schengen Agreement, so it's not really Europe, you have to show your passport when you enter, a note will pop up and say, come with me.
So you'll have to go.
And there's some language here about what it actually is.
So, seriously delinquent tax debt.
So, first of all, it has to be $50,000 or more for which a notice of lien has been filed in public records pursuant to Section 6323 or a notice of levy has been filed, which is basically a wage garnishment.
Okay, so this happens, let's say.
I've had that happen to me.
Happens to everybody.
Yeah.
So it happens, and so they pull the passport, so the State Department has to go through a rigmarole, and then the guy pays, because, you know, you pay, and then...
Then it takes forever.
Remember I went through this?
You didn't lose your passport.
No, I would have, had this been in play.
But I remember they said...
Do we know it takes forever?
We don't know that it takes forever.
I do.
I do.
Because this happened to me.
They said, well, we can't...
When my name started showing up on the payroll at Mevio...
Or then pod show in 2005.
I was living in the UK. And they say, well, where have you been since 1999?
So, well, I left the country.
Oh, yeah?
We can't find any filings.
You don't have to pay taxes twice, but we can't find any filings from you.
So we're putting a lien, and we think that's about $2.4 million, Mr.
Curry.
And the IRS came into our...
That would get your attention.
It did.
The IRS came into our building with their guns.
Remember that?
I wasn't there.
Yeah, they came in with their hands on their guns.
I would have jumped out of the table.
So we can't find you.
So ever hear of Google?
You idiot.
Curry.com?
Ever think of looking for me online?
And, you know, so then I had to go through all...
Well, that reminds me of the time...
There's a number of John Dvorak's that are writers.
Yeah.
Believe it or not.
And so I get a call from the IRS. Some guy's grousing at me.
He says, okay, just John Dvorak?
Yeah.
He says, well, you're going to give us our $70,000?
I mean, when are you going to pay?
And I said, what are you talking about?
Me, me!
You know, kind of thing.
He says, yeah, you're blah, blah, blah.
And I said, I don't know anything about what you're talking about.
I said, you're John DeVore, right?
I said, yeah.
And I said, and then I just, I guess I got lucky.
I said, where am I supposed to be?
I said, you're in Kansas, Kansas City.
I said, no.
I'm in Port Angeles, Washington, which is where I was when I got the call.
He says, uh...
I said, what's the Social Security number?
I started grilling him.
What's the Social Security number you got there?
He said, well, what's yours?
And I told him.
He says, oh.
Oh, that's interesting.
Really?
Yeah.
Do you happen to know where another...
Do you know where John Dvorak in Kansas is, Manny Chanda?
Why don't you go look to Kansas?
Why don't you call the Kansas guy?
Yeah.
You know, they're not the only John Dvorak in the world.
I don't know how they got my name or why.
They called me, but then they said, oh, sorry.
I don't know if he said he's sorry, he just hung up.
But my point is, it took me almost half a year to get my wage garnishment removed.
I had to prove, of course, that I had been overseas, and I had to go through quite a bit of crap.
And meanwhile, you know...
I didn't come up with this number, this multi-million dollar figure.
You weren't making that kind of money at Mevio.
No, but they look at 10 years.
They say, you haven't filed taxes in 10 years.
Oh, so they figured in 10 years, plus all the penalties and everything gets cranked, cranked.
This is like people who make $100,000 a year and end up having to pay a $2 million tax bill.
Because you didn't pay for 10 years.
Exactly.
And so then finally, they said, okay, we agree.
And then it still took six weeks for them to actually...
Because Mevio couldn't just say, okay, we believe you.
No, they have to wait for official notice.
It goes through the payroll system and all that.
No, it's hosed.
It's hosed.
It's like having your identity stolen, but this time it's just kind of an opposite effect.
Well, so if you thought that was bad...
Well, you'd be screwed nowadays with this if they actually implement.
I mean, they have it in their bill, but it doesn't mean it's not going to be a dead letter.
Because, you know, the State Department says, this is too much aggravation.
Do it yourself.
Yeah.
It's not our job to be the police department.
If the State Department goes along with this, they're being the police department for another agency.
Well, it gets worse.
Now colleges are being the bill collectors, loan collectors.
Oh yeah, this is horrible.
Yeah, so if you're delinquent on your college loan, your university loan, then your colleges, apparently, are now withholding your transcripts and your grades.
Yeah, we never heard of him.
You might have heard of him if he actually paid us the money he owes.
Yeah, but you don't even owe it to the university, you owe it to the bank.
They're all in cahoots.
So I'm listening to over the weekend, I guess.
Stossel is on the warpath because he's got a new book out.
And so he has a bunch of interesting...
This was a good show he did, I think it was Saturday.
But play this one little clip.
College is up 750%.
And let me tell you what the conclusion I draw from this.
You want to go to college?
It's expensive.
A year at Harvard now costs more than $50,000.
State schools often cost $30,000.
The politicians in there say, we can make college affordable for everyone.
But no, they can't.
They've tried.
Federal spending on college aid has doubled, then doubled again.
But as government aid grew, so did tuition.
Over the past 30 years, inflation was 160%.
We're upset that health care costs grew more, 400%.
But college tuition rose 750%.
750?
Yeah, 750.
It's turned into this huge scam.
Colleges have become corrupt in every sense of the word.
But when I heard this report, the first thing I thought of, because apparently they can charge as much as they can, and they get the college loan program, and screw the future, screw the kids, make them pay these ridiculous fees for these loans, these crummy loans.
It's not like a little loan.
When I was a kid, I took out a $2,000 loan, and that was it.
I paid it back.
Would you say that a little differently?
Would you say, when I was a kid?
When I was a kid.
So I'm listening to this report, but what goes through my mind is that inflation was, over the last 15 years, inflation's up 160, medical 400, college is 750.
I'm thinking, oh, the medical guys have got ways to go to catch up.
That means we're going to get another doubling in the cost of medical because this is all a gouge.
The entire system is based on...
What are you going to pay if the pills cost $20 and they want to charge you $40?
What are you going to do about it?
They want to charge you $80?
What are you going to do about it?
They want to charge you $160?
What are you going to do about it?
Nothing.
Yeah, exactly.
Nothing.
And that's what the colleges have figured out.
They said, wow, these kids all want to go to school, especially in a downturned economy.
Let's just gouge them.
What is the University of California, which was free when I was a kid...
It costs like $30,000, $40,000 to go to now.
It's a state-run institution.
Yeah.
Really, is it that much?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
It's out of control.
So how do your kids feel that they're not going to college?
Only Jay is the only one.
Jay is going to college.
Whatever I have to scrimp to get her through, I'm not letting her take out a penny in one of these scam loans.
Can't we start a university?
Yeah, we could.
A lot of people are starting private institutions of all sorts.
Why don't we start a university?
A capital friend of mine is involved in private education.
Of course, it's a big money maker.
And he's seeing it as a bonanza, especially at trade schools.
He's a little bit behind the curve, actually, I think.
No, no, he's not behind the curve.
He told me about this six, seven years ago.
Oh, okay.
Well, I think we should start an institution.
It'll be an online university.
And we give you a little bot.
So your bot basically checks in, and it just, you know, does all the multiple choice things, and we just give you all grades at the end, and then if you ever need someone to vouch for you...
Vouch for you.
Yeah.
You're like, hey, yeah.
Vouch for you.
Yeah, absolutely.
It went to the Curry-Dvorak College, and it's at CDC. I like it.
Curry-Dvorak College.
For the criminally insane.
I'm just saying it's another opportunity, John.
I'm just saying you said it again.
I did.
But I am only mentioning...
You're going to have a hard time with that one.
It is a huge opportunity.
So I'm reading through the, just to shift gears, because I'm loving this so much, the DSM-5 proposals, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.
This is the same guys who basically come up with reasons to feed your children Ritalin.
And they have a new section in here about alcohol abuse.
And what in your mind, Dr.
Dvorak, constitutes an alcoholic?
I think it would probably be someone who drinks too much all the time.
Well, first of all, what is too much?
Second of all, I was always taught that alcoholism is a disease.
So a disease, in my mind, means it can be diagnosed by some form of test.
What is the test for diagnosing alcoholism?
I don't know.
Well, would you like to know?
Yeah, I'm all ears.
So you'll remember that to be on the autistic spectrum disorder, if your kid can qualify just by spinning a lot, which we found quite humorous, because I think I was spinning as a kid.
I think you still do that.
So if you can answer one of the following questions, you're probably an alcoholic.
Are you ready?
Okay.
You drink to relieve stress.
No, I don't.
Okay.
You often drink alone.
Come on, you know you do.
Well, I have a...
Sure.
If I'm by myself, I'm having dinner, and I want to have a glass of wine, what am I supposed to do?
Invite someone over?
Yes.
Unless you want to wear the white jacket, Mr.
Dvorak.
You look forward to drinking.
Eh, maybe.
I'd mow the grass, like, oh, I'd love a beer right now.
Oh yeah, you mow the grass and you're out there sweating like a pig and you want to have a beer, sure.
You're an alcoholic.
Your drinking may be related to one or more health problems.
I don't qualify for that one.
You drink to relieve boredom or loneliness.
Nah, that's vague.
Come on.
Well, of course it's vague.
That's the whole point.
I don't drink to relieve boredom.
I've got too many things.
I've got to clean my office.
You sometimes drive after drinking.
Oh, all the time.
You drink to maintain a buzz.
Now that, to me, is closer to being an alcoholic.
That is the one I think qualifies.
Your performance at work is not what it used to be.
Whatever is.
Hello.
We'll give you two chimes for that.
You aren't comfortable in social situations without drinking.
I think that's quite common.
People...
I don't know if you're not comfortable, but people feel comfortable when everyone around them is holding a drink.
You want a drink, right?
And this one, you find that drinking helps you overcome your shyness.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
But any one of these behaviors...
No, no, not any one.
You have to be like five of them or ten.
No.
No.
What do you mean no?
No.
People fall into the alcohol abuse category.
For any one of those?
Yes.
No.
That's idiotic.
In other words, if you drink at all, under any circumstance you've ever had a drink, if you have one drink a year, you're an alcoholic.
Only if it qualifies under these points.
And by the way, again, here it is, you're on the spectrum.
Oh yeah, that's the latest.
You're on the alcoholic spectrum.
Yeah, from teetotaler, which means you don't drink anything, to you're on the spectrum, even if you just drink alone.
Then you're on the spectrum.
I'm going to put that video in the show notes again.
People have to see that about the DSM. There's a whole bunch of doctors just saying this is a scam.
This is becoming a bigger form of corruption.
Good story in the Chicago Tribune about the drug use in the various wars.
And how more recently, especially with the Iraq War, they've decided to change their whole style of if you were in the Vietnam War, for example, you couldn't have anything with drugs and you were kicked out and you can't be happy.
They want people drugged up.
Oh, the soldiers, you mean?
Oh yeah, absolutely.
Soldiers drugged up.
And so I'm reading this article and it goes on about these guys right here.
Both the American Psychological Association, reading from the article, and the American Psychiatric Association in a 2010 congressional hearing urged the army to stay the course on using the drugs.
Keep these soldiers drugged up.
And now they find these guys are blacking out and having all kinds of issues because they're strung out on a series, not just one drug, but a whole bunch of laundry lists.
And that is what happened with this crazy guy who shot up those guys in Afghanistan and they're sweeping him under the rug.
I'm sure the guy was...
If you read, there's been example after example of a guy apparently walking into a...
I don't even remember where he was and shooting somebody.
Yeah, it's pathetic.
It's totally pathetic.
And these sick pricks from these associations, these doctors, are promoting the idea of just drugging everybody.
And this is an example, this alcoholism thing is another perfect example.
It's all financed by Big Pharma.
Yeah, and there will be, I'm sure, some kind of vaccine against it soon enough.
Oh, yeah.
They've been talking about it.
This one also caught my eye, just staying on the vaccines.
Eli Lilly got a go-ahead from the FDA, is it the FDA? No, yeah, the Food and Drug Administration, to market, what is it called here, Amivid.
An Amivid is an injectable, I think it's an injectable, that it's a dye, basically, and it goes into your brain, and then you look on a scan, and it shows if you have Alzheimer's or not.
However...
However, initially the FDA... If you don't, it creates it.
Well, initially the FDA recommended against approving the dye last year, saying that doctors might have trouble interpreting the scans.
It's a plaque, essentially.
So they said, no, it's no good, because even if you don't have Alzheimer's, other neurological conditions can make this dye turn red or whatever color it's, or orange I see here in the picture.
And then Eli Lilly, you know, what'd they do?
They said, well, we'll go figure this out.
So they come back a year later.
They say, we've identified better ways of training doctors to use this.
So it's all good now, and the FDA approves it.
And this is all related to, you know, the Alzheimer's thing.
It's perfect.
Yeah, my favorite one is the, everyone's, due to psych alcoholism, everyone's going to have Alzheimer's even though it's not identifiable.
Remember how they led that one in where they all of a sudden said, well, you know, we think a lot of people have Alzheimer's, but we can't prove it.
Well, no, we forgot how to prove it.
Sorry, that was pretty bad.
All right.
You want another piece of legislation that slipped by?
Okay.
All right.
So what did we have just this past week?
What was the big cybersecurity news?
What was it?
Visa MasterCard.
Their processing unit.
Well, they say...
I mean, I immediately went online.
I checked.
It didn't look like anyone was using my...
I don't have a credit card, but it's a MasterCard-based debit.
Then they would likely not be using it, yes.
No.
Oh, you have the MasterCard provided by...
Yeah, it's a debit, but it's provided by...
You can use it as a credit card.
Well, you can...
Yeah, but it doesn't...
There's no credit.
No, use it as a credit card, but it's still a debit card.
Right, exactly.
So that was a nice setup.
And, of course, we've been following...
I didn't pull any of the old clips of all these idiots in the Senate and Congress who were just letting the cybersecurity squirrels frighten them.
And, oh, we've had three billion attacks.
Remember that?
I should actually pull that clip.
That was just...
How many different sessions did we watch, John?
Of our government, who are just total nincompoops, understand nothing about cybersecurity, and just, oh, yeah, well, it's bad.
They're already in.
Oh, the Chinas are already in.
We're all going to die.
Oh, this is horrible.
Right?
Yep.
So our buddy Joe Lieberknuckle, what's his name?
Lieberman.
He comes out with his bill.
This is a monster.
And I'm amazed that no one's really looking at this.
Mr.
Lieberman, along with Mr.
Rockefeller, along with Ms.
Collins, that's the idiot who we had the clips from, and Dianne Feinstein, come out with the Cybersecurity Act of 2012.
Wow.
Again, it's a monster of a bill.
This act shall supersede any statute, provision of a statute, regulation, or rule of a state or political subdivision of a state that expressly requires comparable cybersecurity practices to protect covered critical infrastructure.
And it's going to be run by...
Who is going to run the cybersecurity of our critical infrastructure?
DHS, probably.
Department of Homeland Security.
These idiots are going to be running it.
And, let's see, I've marked up a whole lot of things.
I'm not going to go through everything.
But they are also, as a part of the bill, the government, Department of Homeland Security, is instructed to recruit...
Techno experts from the private field.
So they're going to come out with...
They're going to get a job.
Yes, indeed.
The National Cybersecurity Competition and Challenge.
It's a reality show.
Competition?
Yeah.
Talent competition and challenge.
That's it.
This bill is great.
The Secretary of Homeland Security and Secretary of Commerce shall establish a program to conduct competitions and challenges and ensure the effective operation of national and statewide competitions and challenges that seek to identify, develop, and recruit talented individuals to work in federal agencies, state and local government agencies, and the private sector to perform duties relating to the security of the federal information infrastructure.
Woohoo!
We should pitch a reality show to them.
Seriously.
How soon can you hack into this?
Okay, the clock is running.
Ready?
Go.
Wow.
Participation in the competitions and challenges shall include students enrolled in grades 9 through 12, students enrolled in a post-secondary program of studying leading to a baccalaureate degree, students enrolled in a post-baccalaureate program, Veterans, other groups of individuals that the Secretary of Homeland Security and Secretary of Commerce determine appropriate, which I think would be the TSA. Let's bring them in, give them something to do.
So I thought that was pretty interesting.
Areas of talent required for this reality show.
Ethical hacking.
Here's my favorite.
Penetration testing.
Can I please be part of the penetration testing team?
Vulnerability assessment, continuity of system operations, cyber forensics, and offensive and defensive cyber operations.
And John, this is going to be a bonanza!
Well, first of all, for people out there listening to this, I immediately think, when I see this, and I think that hackers would see it the same way, this looks more like a honeypot than it looks like any sort of job.
You don't hire people based on this sort of thing.
This is a way to find hackers and throw them in jail.
Maybe, maybe.
But here's the one thing that caught my eye in this, and I put a big red box around it in the PDF file in the show notes, 398.nashownotes.com.
Under the Research and Development Program, top of the list, to advance the development and accelerate the deployment of more secure versions of fundamental Internet protocols and architectures, Including for the secure domain name addressing system and routing security.
So they are going to be messing with the core protocols of the internet.
They don't have the...
This is not a good thing.
So they're going to start screwing with DNS is what it boils down to.
They're going to look for some way so they can shut down the internet to drop off a hat if they have to.
I think I've discussed this before.
And, you know, so the kill switch, this is what they're working on.
Exactly.
Now, just to wrap this one up, because I can't go through all 300 pages, Congress, of course, reports back in this act on what they've discovered, right?
So we heard all the sound bites, but now they've written it down.
Congress finds the following.
First, positioning information technology is central to the effectiveness, efficiency, and reliability of the whole world.
Cyber criminals, terrorists, and agents of foreign powers have taken advantage of the connectivity of the United States to inflict substantial damage to the economic and national security interests of the nation.
It's a fact.
3.
The cybersecurity threat is sophisticated, relentless, and massive, exposing all consumers in the United States to the risk of substantial harm.
Remember, this is what your Congress found.
4.
Businesses in the United States are bearing enormous losses as a result of criminal cyber attacks, depriving business of hard-earned profits that could be reinvested in further job-producing innovation.
5.
I gotta give him an A for humor.
Hackers continuously probe the networks of federal and state agencies, the armed forces, and the commercial industry base of the armed forces, and have already caused substantial damage and compromised sensitive and classified information.
Severe cybersecurity threats will continue and will likely grow as the economy of the United States grows more connected.
Criminals become increasingly sophisticated in efforts to steal from consumers, industries, and businesses in the United States.
And terrorists and foreign nations continue to use cyberspace as a means of attack against the national and public security of the United States.
And to wrap this up, as of 2012, the level of public awareness of cybersecurity threats is UNACCEPTABLY LOW! Only a tiny portion of relevant cybersecurity information is released to the public.
Information about attacks on federal government systems is usually classified.
Information about attacks on private systems is only kept confidential.
This must change!
We must let everyone know!
You should be on a balcony.
What is it?
I'm not going to take it anymore?
No, no, a balcony is like a Mussolini kind of thing.
Ha ha ha!
Oh, thank you.
That's what you're doing.
You're doing a Mussolini.
Okay, and then just finally, report on preparedness of federal courts to promote cybersecurity.
Congress will report, interesting here, because this tells you what law is coming next.
Congress, or the Attorney General, will report to Congress on whether federal courts have granted timely relief in matters relating to botnets and other cybercrime and cybersecurity threats.
This is very interesting.
So they're going to...
This, by the way, has the potential to ruin the advertising business on the internet.
So they're going to go after botnets and they're going to have, I guess, some laws to...
If you're operating a botnet, you go into the brig.
It's about time.
Yeah.
So, it's a big bill.
It's Senate Bill 2105.
I just thought the entire idea of the competition and challenges, and I like your take on it, about it being a honeypot.
Totally like that.
But you know there's going to be a lot of a-holes are going to be like, hey, it's a job.
Let's go work for the government.
Well...
Yeah, a lot of that going on.
Yeah.
Well, talking about that, I think it's time to play our jingle and thank some people.
I'm going to show myself gold by donating to No Agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
Yeah, on No Agenda.
Right in the morning.
I want to thank a few people for contributing, helping produce this show, 398, starting with William Shea, C-H-E, as in Shea Guevara.
Douglas in New York, we talked about him earlier.
He said that he hates the, he's the one that thinks it's crazy to use the...
Happy birthday, John.
I'm sending you some good fortune.
He gave us 16888.
Good fortune and prosperity.
Lots of eights in there.
I guess Adam, too.
I'd like to wish for some in the morning karma.
And I also donate because you guys mentioned Taiwan several times in a recent episode.
And I feel obliged to donate to keep you talking.
Thank you for keeping me entertained and informed.
William Shea, Gitmo Nation, Stinky Tofu, Taiwan.
In the morning.
Daniel Livingston.
You've got karma.
Daniel Livingston in Juneau, Alaska.
Do you know you can't drive to Juneau?
I think you missed Michael Schumacher.
Oh, sorry.
Michael Schumacher, or Shoemaker it says, but Schumacher, in Rancho Cucamonga.
I'll see if he said anything, 129.69.
I should have looked him up a minute ago.
I don't see any notes.
Let's see.
Shoemaker.
Let me see if it comes up.
S-H-O-E-M-A-K-E-R. And yes, in fact, Mike Shoemaker, ITM Crackhead and Buzztail.
Being the late prick that I always am, here's a small donation of $129.69 to the greatest podcast in the universe.
$60 for JCD's birthday and $69.69 to start the streak of the amount again.
No, it's still going.
No karma needed, and I've already been de-douche.
Nothing to see here.
Carry on.
Thank you so much for supporting our work.
And a note we like.
Daniel Livingston in Juneau, Alaska.
You know you can't drive to Juneau, Alaska?
There's no road into Juneau, Alaska.
Juneau, that's the capital of Alaska.
There's no way in there.
You can fly there.
You can fly there and you can also take a boat.
On Ted Stevens Airways.
Please accept a small donation.
Thanks for providing a valuable service free of charge.
Also, happy birthday to John.
112.35.
Travis Stearns in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
11111.
We haven't seen that for a while.
Thanks for the hard work you guys do deconstructing the elite media's cabal twice weekly.
The information is provided.
Excellent content for my art and design work.
My own way to propagate the formula.
Please send me some karma and a de-douching and call out Vadim as a...
I sent him a note to make sure he got this right.
Vadim gets called out as a douchebag.
Douchebag!
And then he needs some karma and a de-douching.
You've been de-douched.
You've got karma.
He has a website, travissterns.com.
Brandon Chisholm in Las Cruces, New Mexico.
Hey, White Sands.
6969.
I've been a douchebag for far too long.
I'd like a de-douching and a karma shout-out from my wife, Colleen.
You've been de-douched.
You've got karma.
Brian...
Balmarito in Gainesville, Virginia.
6969 as we go on with that crazy number.
Longtime listener, occasional supporter of the show as well.
I'm not a complete boner.
Need to get some job karma.
Been moving around the country for the last four years.
I've been in eight cities across five states.
Take some photos.
Sick and tired of moving.
I've missed five funerals, the birth of a good friend's son, two weddings, and the purchase of a house by another friend.
I've decided to draw a line in the sand and I say no further than Michigan.
Ha!
Also, feel free to mention that if anyone's looking for a web developer who knows RawlsDjango, phpn.net, well, we could probably use him.
Rails.
Oh, Ruby on Rails.
Mm-hmm.
Bebomarito at me.com.
It's B-O-M-M-A-R-I-T-O. Keep up the great work and enjoy 6969.
Give him a karma.
Mm-hmm.
You've got karma.
John Calvin Jones, Ph.D. and J.D. 6969 from Richmond, B.C. Dear John and Adam, this will be my last donation for a while.
The wife is coming and hates your show!
Oh no!
What do you mean the wife is coming?
What does that mean?
I don't know.
She's walking into the room, I guess.
Regardless, I know giving is loving, so here's my 6969.
By the way, the last time I sent money, I had an email waiting about a job interview.
I call it pre-carm.
If I can get this gig in Canada, I can donate more and let us hope if I get another contract here.
Otherwise, my best hope is working in Albany, New York.
Gitmo Nation forced vaccines.
Or Lima, Peru.
So give him a karma.
Yeah.
I'll give one to your wife too, man.
Maybe she'll come around.
She hates the show.
Karma.
I think there are people out there that literally hate the show.
What do you think that is?
Me.
I don't think so.
Mikkel Morch.
Or Morch, I think.
Mikkel.
An Alberg, Denmark.
A 6969 in the morning, gentlemen.
A quick little donation to make sure that you put my friend Soren Larson on the birthday list.
It's his birthday today, April 8th.
He's always getting his...
And all he's getting is this donation for you guys and hopefully a nice karma swan flute combo.
He turned me on to the show.
They call it a swan flute in Denmark.
A swan flute?
Yeah.
It's because maybe swans I think make a funny sound.
Could be.
Turn me on to the show and now we share a growing frustration with the endless garbage the real media vomits out.
Well, I have the floor.
I would also like to give some karma to those of us who make monthly donations.
The silent heroes who donate for the value behind the scenes.
While we certainly get value for our money, it would be nice to hear that we are appreciated.
I think we thank them every so often.
Well, let me just reiterate.
The ongoing monthly donations, whatever program you're on, is tremendously helpful.
The 1111, the 33, I mean, it's highly appreciated.
And we like to encourage it because they get kicked off of that list by PayPal at the drop of a hat.
And also, this does count towards your knighthood.
So, you know, you can be doing this for a long time, but you can still wind up at night.
So that's really good.
So let's give him a flute karma.
A swan flute karma?
You thought karma.
Andrew Lemesani.
Lemesani.
No, Lemesani.
That's all I can do with that.
Colorado Springs, 6969.
Karma would be my second donation.
Can you confirm that the first was received according to Buzzkill Jr.?
It was not.
Here comes your karma, though.
Thank you very much.
You've got karma.
Mike Bateman in Minneapolis, Minnesota, 6969, as we continue with this crazy number.
Happy birthday, John Douchebag.
As such, no, he's a douchebag.
As such, he's added a self-levy fine of 15% to the $60 birthday gift, bringing the donation of $69, and he figured he'd throw in this.69 to keep the streak alive.
Thank you, John and Adam, for providing real news.
Thank you.
Thank you for providing us support.
Mike Coulter in Monticello, Minnesota, 6969, as we go on and on.
Thanks for keeping up the excellent work on the best podcast in the universe.
Happy birthday, John.
Like some karma and fuck cancer for my father who's fighting liver cancer.
All right.
Fuck cancer, karma.
You've got karma.
Screw the cancer.
Kevin Reeves in Lake Ann, Michigan, 6565.
Long-time boner, first-time donor.
Can you please tell your listeners about my Kickstarter campaign to release my next album entitled Headspace?
Also, I'm offering my first album.
It's about time.
It's a free download right off the Kickstarter page at kevinreeves.com.
Oh, this is Kevin Reeves.
Reeves.
Yeah, you know what Kevin Reeves has done?
Yeah.
What?
Hold on a second.
Let me find it.
I can tell you exactly what he's done.
Well, you're looking it up, so I absolve myself of any responsibility for causing No Agenda to lose funding on account of my Kickstarter campaign.
I request that you only make one donation this week.
Donate to No Agenda.
Just head over to my page and download some free music.
But after you've donated to No Agenda, you have a few bucks to spare.
Please consider throwing it my way.
This airs on Sunday.
My campaign will have six days left.
Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
Sorry, go ahead.
He said, lastly, yours truly, along with musician Eon Baird, are currently working on the No Agenda PR Move of a Lifetime.
Details coming.
Nice.
All right, here's what Kevin Reeves has done for us.
John's gonna hum the Sunday time.
That's Kevin Reeves right there.
He's got a great voice.
He needs a shot of karma for his Kickstarter.
You've got karma.
Joan Dodefray in Morgantown, West Virginia, $60.
Happy birthday, John.
Didn't hear the podcast.
Hey, Morgantown!
Yo, Morgantown!
Belated birthday donation.
Keep up the great work.
And you'd like a clippity-clop Lucifer thingy, maybe with a slide whistle.
Really?
Okay, clippity-clop.
And it's a karma?
It's a clippity-clop slide whistle karma?
No, she never mentions karma.
It's clippity-clop.
The message is clear.
Just clippity-clop.
Yeah, Joni has a little email thing going on with me.
Okay.
She's very sweet.
Cliff, we won't get into it.
Unless you want to.
Not like that.
Really?
So, we have a bunch of $60.
Let me mention these are the belated birthday gifts to the show.
Cliff Duffy, Alexandria, Virginia.
Guy Boise.
Sir Guy Boise.
Boise in Tel Aviv.
Send photos.
Brian Swearingen in Louisville, Kentucky.
Tim Radder, Calgary.
Harold Clark, Inkster, Michigan.
That's a good name.
That's a great name for a city.
I live in Inkster.
Are you a cartoonist?
Daniel Ripple in Dresden, Ohio.
What?
Sorry, I just had to buzz you on your bad joke.
You think it was a bad joke?
Yeah.
Sir Gizemann in Ellensburg, Washington.
Jose Abreu in Lisbon, Portugal.
Lisboa.
He also says, happy birthday to John and karma requests from my nephew and nieces, Lorraine, Marta, and Maria.
Lawrence, Martha, and Maria for the foreign language impaired.
Give them the karma.
You've got karma.
Also, Bram...
Bram...
What?
I'm waiting for the pronunciation of the name, the town, and the province.
I don't have the town on my list.
It's just a...
Yeah, you do.
Okay, Bram Bongert.
Bongerts.
Bongerts.
And then he's in Hurtigaburner.
Where is he from, John?
All I got is, I don't have the whole thing.
Let me stretch this cell so I can see it.
He's in Hertogenbosch.
Yeah, Hertogenbosch.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
Nordbravo.
Which is in Holland.
Yeah.
Good for him.
And then we have Tristan Banning in Toronto, Ontario.
55 double nickels on the dime.
First time donor with a semi-boner.
What?
I spent some time hitting people in the mouth, but the guilt has been crushing me.
So time to donate.
Would you please wish my good friend Matt Weed a happy birthday, which he will celebrate on the 10th with some Hey Citizen Karma.
Thanks again.
Keep up the good work on the best podcast in the universe.
I'm just adding the...
None of these are on the birthday list.
He's got a birthday thing there.
Oh, it's not on the list.
Not for Matt.
Oh, I'm sorry.
He is on the list yet.
I've had to put Soren Larson on the list.
Hey, Citizen Karma?
Okay, absolutely.
Hey, Citizen.
You've got karma.
Patrick J. Deary in Sarnia, Ontario, another Canadian.
We have three Canadians in a row here.
Double nickels on the dime.
Chris Potter in Elmira, Ontario.
Double nickels on the dime.
He says he requests some more overtime, double-time karma.
If he's making money, we're making money.
You've got karma.
Sergio Gasparini is also one of the editors at the Dvorak Uncensored blog in Surbiton, Surrey.
$50.
A one-time donation for my birthday.
I would like a shot of karma since I need to look for a new place to live and because I have an ongoing health issue.
He also needs to be de-douched.
Oh, let me do a double shot.
You've been de-douched.
You've got karma.
Gasparini.
Sorry?
I'm just Sergio Gasparini.
I'm just practicing the name for the birthday list.
Oh, that's a tough one.
Alan Levine for Congress Committee, $50.
It was Alan Levine.
Hey, did you see his note, by the way, that he sent us?
What did he say?
He had a beautiful note.
He said, you know, what you guys do with Adam reading the legislation and then you critiquing it, he says that's a very valuable service.
And he says if he gets elected, he'd like to hire the Curry-Dvorak Legislation Analysis Group.
He said we could make a ton of dough.
Because he said, I have to hire someone to do it anyway.
Might as well be you guys.
Let me write that down.
The Curry-Dvorak Legislation Analysis Group?
Yeah.
We need a website for that.
CDLAG. And he's running for Congress down in Georgia.
Anastasia Perove in Mississauga, Ontario.
And finally, the Goose Hung High?
Don't ask.
In Framingham, Massachusetts.
So I want to thank them and all the other producers and contributors to Show398.com.
Go to NoAgendaShow.com, NoAgendaNation.com, Dvorak.org, slash NA, and ChannelDvorak.com, slash NA, to help us out.
Dvorak.org slash N-A Quick little side note we got from Carly Boshich, I think is the way you pronounce it.
Carly writes, After Yule from Flissing annoyed the hell out of us at the office with the no agenda twice a week, I'm a long-time boner but now first-time donor.
I think Carly came in at a lower level.
I'm not quite sure, but I thought the note was interesting.
Trying to keep the sea out of South Holland as Europe decided to give back our land to the sea.
Can you please give the good people of Zeeland an extra dose of dry feet karma?
I guess the dykes are breaking down there.
I keep up the good work, chaps.
I'm doing my bit as everybody who dares to share a ride with me is sentenced to listen to the No Agenda show.
I think that's a great idea.
Well, here it is.
A while ago, I had a Frenchman in the car, and after two hours, he asked for the link.
Now, this Frenchman works in Taiwan.
I'm assuming he propagates the formula there as well.
And you actually answered this email.
And you said, yeah, way to go, because it's hard.
The French don't like our show.
No.
They don't like it at all.
French are dead set against it.
They like to believe whatever the government tells them.
Let me give a little shout-out to the people of Zeylon there.
You've got karma.
Where is it your birthday?
On No Agenda!
Here we go.
Soren Larson celebrates today.
Chad Biedemann congratulates himself, celebrating on the 11th.
Mikkel March, his...
Oh, there it is.
There is Soren Larson.
I'm sorry, I already had that.
Tristan Banning congratulates his good friend Matt Weed, celebrating on the 10th.
And Sergio Gasparini is celebrating today.
Happy birthday from all of your friends here at the humongous staff and management of the No Agenda Show.
Congratulations.
And we had two executive producers come in with donations that will bring them up to the status of knighthood.
A reminder that we will be finalizing the Noagenda Knight Ring program at the end of this year.
We'll come up with a new designation.
We're thinking actually of...
Can I talk about it?
Yeah, sure.
We're thinking about doing kind of like the little pin medal...
That they have in Canada and they also have...
Yeah, if you get the Order of Canada or something, they give you a little pin that you get to wear on your suit jacket.
Which is actually quite cool because you can wear that all the time.
And, you know, the ring, you know, it's not always handy to always be wearing a ring.
And they have the pin, which will be a nice looking pin, by the way.
I've seen some of the designs.
They look awesome.
Can we have a pin with just a little ribbon on it?
Just a little bit?
I think it would be kind of cool.
You mean like they won the first place at the cow show?
Yeah.
I don't think so.
It's blue.
All right.
But we still, of course, will be honoring all knights and people who become knights and dames after that point.
So we do have two executive producers tonight today.
So I've got my blade ready.
If you can just draw yours for a second there, John.
Where is it?
Here.
Oh, you got it.
Okay.
Alan Bean!
Chad Biederman!
Step forward, gentlemen!
Thank you so much for supporting the work that we do.
The Curry-Dvorak Legislation Analysis Group are very, very happy to bring you into a small, elite, yet very proud group.
We call them the Knights of the No Agenda Roundtable.
And I hereby knight these, sir!
Alan Bean, Sir Chad Biederman, Knights of the Noagent Roundtable.
For you, my friends, over here at the table, hookers and blow, or Chardonnays and Renboy, if you want, it's hot pants and booze or wenches and beer.
Regardless, we appreciate that type of commitment and dedication to the show.
And thank you.
We received a couple of offers for an RV for the Hot Pockets 2009 tour.
Hi!
Unfortunately, none of them in the state of Texas.
And we really would much prefer a trailer to drag around behind the...
Where are these located?
South Carolina.
Wait a minute, SLC. What is Gitmo Nation Beehive?
SLC is Salt Lake City.
Salt Lake City.
So it's Utah.
So that's not really convenient.
We're just looking for a trailer.
No, that's a good...
You should thank them.
No, I am thanking them.
I'm totally thanking them.
No, it actually was a pretty awesome one.
Was it the Aero or something?
The Pacer Aero.
It was a nice one.
Nice RB. Pace Aero.
Pace Aero.
Is it Pace?
I thought it was Pacer.
No, it's Pace Aero.
I'm sure of it.
But I think we're really just looking for it so that we can hitch up to old Sally here.
Mustang Sally.
The Dodge Ram.
The 2002 Dodge Ram.
Yeah.
Mustang Sally and it's a Dodge Ram truck.
What should I call it then?
Well, it's not a Mustang for starters.
I don't know.
Call it the Nola Gay.
Right.
Oh, speaking of which, so we're at the market yesterday.
And it's pretty cool now.
When I buy a rack of lamb, and what else did I buy?
My meat guy didn't have any sirloin, but he had ribeye.
So it comes out to like $55.
They're literally like, eh, give me $50.
You guys buy here all the time.
We're Austinites now, man.
We're really in.
Yeah, you're getting five bucks off on your meat.
Yeah, that's 10%.
Yeah, it is.
It's a lot.
So we see Farmer Chris.
Remember we talked about Farmer Chris?
Right, the guy who kept getting busted.
Is that the guy?
Yeah, who got busted.
And I said, Farmer Chris is gay.
Remember I said that?
Right.
Right.
And I called you out saying, you know, maybe he doesn't want anyone to know he's gay, and here you are.
Right.
Outing him.
So yesterday, he's like, hey, Adam, how, Mickey, how are you?
Hey, hey, Farmer Chris, how you doing?
And we're talking, and he's like, and he says, yeah, you know, my wife told me, like, what?
What?
So I was wrong.
Aha!
Yeah, and I feel like a...
Douchebag!
It shattered me, too, actually.
Well, you know, Texas style is different than what you're used to.
Yeah, apparently.
So up in Canada, this is a video I'm pretty sure that will go viral.
Someone, and I encourage this behavior, by the way.
Someone took their 12-year-old human resource.
Have you seen this video yet?
This girl?
12-year-old girl.
She's in front of a whole room, an auditorium full of adults.
And I'm just going to play like the first 50 seconds of her speech.
She has a whole presentation.
We should all teach our children to do this and to present this way in front of adults.
Is it debt?
Have you ever wondered why the government forces Canadians to make so many taxes?
Have you ever wondered why the bankers from the largest private banks are becoming wealthier and the rest of us are not?
Have you ever wondered why the gross national debt is over $800 billion?
Or why we are spending $160 million a day on the interest of the national debt?
That's $60 billion a year.
Have you ever wondered who receives the $60 billion?
What I have discovered is the banks and the government have colluded to financially enslave the people of Canada.
I will share with you three important points of reference which will hopefully spark enough interest and concern for you to continue the research on your own and to engage your government to stop this criminal act against the people of Canada.
Right on.
I love that.
That's very funny.
To enslave the people of Canada, Canada.
Perfect.
I love it.
Beautiful.
Get your kids to do that.
Put them on video.
It's a beautiful thing.
I love that.
Yeah, it's great.
Right on for the Canadians.
Right on.
Hey, what is...
I just wanted to play this one clip, because the president did his annual address for Easter.
Yeah, I heard it.
I actually listened to this one.
And then a Republican woman comes on, and she's got nothing to do with...
I mean, she's completely off-base.
Yeah, idiot.
Maybe I'm not hearing it right.
Here's the opening of his address.
For millions of Americans, this weekend is a time to celebrate redemption at God's hand.
What does that mean?
I have no idea.
Redemption at God's hand?
It's like, I'm being punished and I deserve it?
I don't know.
You're being redeemed.
You're being reaffirmed as a whatever.
Thanks.
Thanks.
At God's hand.
So I'm being saved from sin, error, or evil at God's hand?
I guess.
Hmm.
I don't know what it means.
I found it to be.
I don't know what he was doing.
I don't know who wrote that.
It's just like, maybe it's all code.
I have no idea.
I found it interesting.
So I found a couple of interesting clips on the free speech TV, which includes, by the way, there was a, they actually still run, remember the PSA? Yeah, public service announcement.
Yeah, when's the last time you ever heard one?
I mean, they're always on at 3 in the morning, right?
They're on prime time.
The PSA kind of got replaced by the PI, which is the per inquiry, which is like the skillet thing I played.
So, you know, the way it works is if you can't sell a commercial for a slot, then you run it like an infomercial, and then the station gets a VIG, a piece of the action on everything that's sold.
Right.
So PSAs are pretty much, they don't exist.
I mean, they make them.
There's a whole industry of the government paying production houses to make them, but I don't think they get used very much.
But I did run into one that actually was used.
And I'll tell you, you can play it, but I'll set it up for you.
There's some guy in his car text messaging with the family, and they're all looking at the phone.
And he takes his eyes off the road, and then he runs over and apparently kills...
An entire family of black people.
Oh, there you go.
Who were putting some stuff in their minivan.
They were putting some stuff in the back.
Three of them, the mom and dad.
In their covered wagon, please tell me.
And this guy's in another minivan doing about 50 miles an hour in a residential zone, and that's the end of that.
But they also have this crazy website that is impossible to remember.
It's just a bad web show.
Bad, bad.
Go ahead.
The average text takes your eyes off the road for nearly five seconds.
Stop the texts.
Stop the wrecks.
Visit us at stoptextstopwrecks.org.
Stoptext.wrecks.org?
Stoptextstopwrecks.org.
Huh.
Something.
I left it at that.
Did you see the text from Hillary website?
No.
Oh, please.
Oh, you've got to take a look at it right now.
Okay, I'm going to look at it right now.
You can just Google text, T-E-X-T, from Hillary.
It's a Tumblr site.
It's a top result.
Text from Hillary.
Tumblr.com.
Yeah.
It's a great website.
It's just awesome.
So they show a picture, which is the recipient of Hillary's thing.
It's really funny.
I like the Zuckerberg one.
Friend request sent, and Hillary's like, reject.
That's good.
Yeah, somebody looking for a job as a comic writer.
Yeah.
I still like the elevator text from...
Oh yeah, from the Twitter, the Goldman Sachs elevator.
So I probably should have played this before the donation segment, but I wanted to remind people about how the public broadcasting scroungers are just the worst people.
This is a show...
I just took a little clip of the show that was running on PBS yesterday.
Is that my cue?
Yeah, it was.
We're going to begin our show today by focusing on one of the most powerful forces in the universe.
It's a force that can help us all live healthier, happier lives if we're able to tap into it.
We're talking about the immense power of forgiveness.
You know the most prestigious academic institutions in the United States have now statistically verified that people who attend support groups, that people who practice forgiveness, that people who have more love in their lives, that people who pray and meditate on a regular basis, they are physically healthier. that people who pray and meditate on a regular basis, Physically healthier.
Marianne Williamson is an acclaimed spiritual teacher and author.
Many of her nine books have become bestsellers.
Newsweek Magazine has called her one of the 50 most influential members of the baby boom generation.
And she has a lot to say about how forgiveness, or the lack of it, affects our health.
So, forgiveness, unforgiveness, is a withhold of love.
And in that withhold of love, we are armored, and we are defensive, and we are angry, and we are tough.
And we know that stress is the greatest contributor to illness.
So, absolutely.
So, is she selling books and DVDs and commercials?
No, no, it's just a nice PBS show about forgiveness with a bunch of...
Bullcrap dreck.
Like, oh, academic, statistically, great academic institutions have statistically verified.
It's a fact!
It's a fact!
And this fact bullcrap.
And then she has, at the end, she has a non-sequitur that she mentions.
She says, well, you know, forgiveness is good, and it's been proven that stress makes you live long.
It's got nothing to do with stress.
But this is on PBS. This is like new age mumbo jumbo bull crap that is pushed onto the public through public broadcasting.
It's supposed to be some sort of above the fold, kind of better than regular commercial TV kind of thing.
And we have to listen to this rubbish?
I'm asking you.
Well...
I will say that, no, it doesn't belong on PBS. I will say, on the other hand, I do believe that forgiveness is good, and it makes you live longer.
Oh, bah!
Yeah, what?
Oh, bah!
It makes you live longer.
Yeah, I forgive everybody for all their evil.
Well, good for you.
I hear about it on this show or on PBS. It's okay, John.
I forgive you for that.
Don't worry about it.
Wow, I didn't think that.
I mean, yeah, it doesn't belong on PBS, but come on.
I mean, it's a well-known fact.
It's a fact.
Science is in.
It's a fact.
Forgiveness is good.
Spinner.
What?
Spinner.
Hey, man, you hurt my feelings.
I'm not a spinner.
A spinner.
That's bad.
Don't call me a spinner.
They'll put me on the drugs.
Well, I was...
This is actually...
We have it under the heading of the...
So it doesn't take place until Tuesday, but this Professor Jim Hansen is going to do a big lecture at Edinburgh International Science Festival.
Is this the guy, the climate change?
Oh yeah, that's the guy.
Yeah, he is the guy.
He is the guy.
And so the Guardian, of course, jumps right on his dick.
And, ooh, hey, I love you!
And he's a NASA scientist.
And the headline at the Guardian writes, Climate change is a moral issue on par with slavery.
Ha ha!
Professor Jim Hansen to use lecture at Edinburgh International Science Festival to call for worldwide tax on all carbon emissions.
Just in time for Rio.
I can't wait to hear this lecture.
I don't know if it's going to be broadcast somewhere, or hopefully it'll be on YouTube or something.
I just can't wait.
I cannot wait.
He says the climate change problem can't be fixed by individual specific changes.
It has to be across the board rising fee on carbon emissions.
We can't simply say there's a climate problem and leave it to the politicians.
They're so clearly under the influence of the fossil fuel industry that they're coming up with cockamamie, good word, cockamamie solutions which aren't solutions.
That is the bottom line!
Don't be a denier!
The science is end!
Science!
We might as well play my clip, which is a commercial, another PSA, called Climate Change Blather.
Ooh, lovely.
To imagine a world without birds is to imagine a book without words.
Music As our climate changes, everything around us disappears.
What will tomorrow look like?
That depends on what we do today.
You're gonna die, kid.
Face up to it.
Everything disappears.
You know, I saw this excellent movie yesterday.
It was a recommendation from Dr.
Ryan, our buddy here.
He's Mickey's chiropractor.
And he's a cool dude, by the way.
Because he's got a boat.
He has a subscription to the boat.
He always wants to take us out on the boat.
Actually, he's a cool guy from Hawaii originally.
He says, you've got to watch this movie, The Road.
Have you ever seen this movie?
The Road?
Yeah, from 2009.
It stars...
Who was in it?
Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron...
Robert Duvall makes an awesome cameo in it.
And the whole movie is set after the apocalypse.
And he and his son are trying to...
It's one of those depressing Cormac McCarthy stories.
It's fantastic.
It is...
And so the world has completely gone to hell in a handbasket.
There's no food and people are eating each other.
So they capture people and then eat them.
No, it's a beautiful story.
Oh yeah, sounds great.
It is.
Uplifting.
Sort of grabbing each other and eating them.
Beautiful, beautiful story.
It ends beautifully.
It really does.
But the moral of the story is you want ammo, not food.
He's walking around with his son and there's gangs out there grabbing people and eating them.
It's a total Disney.
It's a great story.
Grabbing him and eating him.
But he only has two bullets left.
And he's saving those in case he has to kill his son and then kill himself.
That's not how it ends.
But you have to watch this movie.
And it's not said.
It's not specifically stated in the storyline as to how the apocalypse happened.
But to me it was...
Mickey, you thought it was like a meteorite, right?
I'm scared of zombie movies.
She's scared of zombies.
I know what it caused.
Global warming.
Global warming.
Yeah, global warming.
Exactly.
Noble was published in 2006.
In his interview by Oprah, McCarthy indicated the inspiration for the road came during 2003 visit to El Paso, Texas.
Oh, really?
That was his inspiration?
Imagine what the city might look like in the future.
Ah.
You've got to see this movie.
You can get it on Netflix or Amazon or anything like that.
It's good.
And Charlize Theron is in it.
Which is...
Thank you, love.
Thank you so much.
I'll enjoy this cup of coffee before the apocalypse.
Mickey does not like zombie movies.
He does not like cannibalism.
Zombieland's no movie for you, then.
I've seen it.
She will not see that.
It's hilarious.
It's a comedy.
It's a zombie comedy.
A zombie.
A zombie.
Is that a category?
It is now.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Zombie.
With a Y or I-E? I think with a Y. I'll be with a Y. Zombie.
Let's see if it's someone that's...
Zombie.com.
There you go.
What's on zomity.com?
That's a good word.
Zomity.
Someone's already got it.
Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead, Dead Alive, Army of Darkness.
Good one.
There you go.
Yeah, zomity.
It's a zomity.
You're right.
Great minds think alike.
Yeah.
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
And by the way, Shaun of the Dead is hilarious.
Yeah, it's good.
It is good.
But I will say again...
Do not, repeat, do not be suckered in to buying the zombie slayer as your protection.
It sucks balls.
It is not a good weapon.
Well, I thought you'd do more research before just buying a gun.
Well, I have the one I need.
The judge is all I need.
Yeah.
Well, although now I'm in the market for an AR-15.
Oh, those are expensive.
Yeah, they are.
Well, you can get a...
You have to save up for that.
Yeah, no kidding.
It's like for my birthday, hopefully.
Yeah, you can get an AR-15 for like $400, but it may fly apart.
When I was at Red's, I was like, show me some AR-15s.
Like, wow.
A good one starts at like $1,000.
It's very expensive.
Yeah.
Very expensive.
So a lot of people sent me this, sticking with the biodiversité, And I think people missed what's going on here.
You've probably seen the story that's now going viral, and the tip-off is right in the beginning.
Scientists with the Harvard School of Public Health, I mean, that should be ringing alarm bells for our producers when they read this, have discovered that colony collapse disorder is caused by high fructose corn syrup.
And I'm sorry to disappoint y'all, but this is a PR move by the sugar industry.
This has nothing to do with any science that anyone gives a crap about.
Because if you look into the report, what the report says is they fed the bees corn that was sprayed with imidacloprid.
Which is a pesticide.
And from that, somehow this story has been extrapolated that says high fructose corn syrup is killing bees.
And I'm sorry.
It's another PR move in the sugar wars.
And of course, we don't like high fructose corn syrup.
But someone is out there trying to make it sound really bad with a falsified story.
So when you see these stories...
Don't email that to me.
Do a little work.
It says right there, scientists with the Harvard School of Public Health.
And then go and look at their paper.
You didn't get a whole bunch of emails about this?
No.
I know about the story, but I never saw the tie-in to high fructose corn syrup.
I thought it was all about the pesticide.
Funny.
No, well, somewhere it got morphed into this.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, somewhere along the line it changed.
Like, oh, high fructose corn's here.
Bees don't go out generally.
Yeah, this is a problem with, you know, you get on one side of an issue and then, you know, the same kind of propagandistic bull crap shows up on that side.
Nobody wants to actually get down to the real issues here.
High fructose corn.
You know, a lot of times it's possible that this...
The high fructose corn syrup, they may have planted the story themselves so they can go into the opposite mode and say, look, this is set up by the sugar crazed sugar nuts and this is a false story and we can prove it.
Oh, interesting.
Well, let's see what happens.
We'll follow that.
And the place to do this, by the way, is noagendanewsnetwork.com.
That's a great place.
You can actually create your own RSS feed, which is preferred.
Please don't subscribe the whole system to infowars.com, please.
That's not what we need.
Every week somebody does that.
Yeah, and I don't want to be blocking stuff.
It's a pain in the ass.
I just want to trust that everyone understands that it's better for you to start a WordPress blog, get the RSS feed, put that in.
When you find something interesting, then you can bop it in there, and then you'll share it with everybody.
It's a great resource.
I use it all the time.
At least 20 times a day I'm looking at this thing.
So if you really want to get something out there, and what you immediately see is other producers are reading this, and they'll do some research, and they find stuff, and somehow it's working very, very well.
Yeah, we get stories like this one.
I have a really good dog and pig story from our local news.
Wait a minute.
I don't see dog and pig.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, there it is.
Okay.
The woman noticed the piglet on the side of a road.
It had fallen out of a livestock semi.
The woman bought the piglet home where she befriended the family golden retriever.
The dog looked after the piglet named Mushu, helping her recover from the fall.
The two have been best friends.
I love that story.
Only a golden retriever.
Or was that a yellow lab?
That was a yellow lab.
Either one.
Thank you very much.
Hold on.
Hold on a second.
Got them.
Both of them.
Good.
Good one.
What idiots.
Yes.
What idiots.
I was watching that going, this is the stupidest thing ever.
No, no.
Who cares?
No, this is stupid.
You got something stupid?
Yeah.
It's not a clip.
A new television reality competition series.
You ready for it?
Okay.
Stars earn stripes.
This is a new show from Dick Wolf.
We know how compromised Dick Wolf is.
And Mark Burnett.
Oh my!
Nine celebrities from music, sports, and Hollywood will be paired with trainers at a top-notch secret training facility.
And they will be doing military exercises.
Who cares?
Does anybody want to watch something like that?
It's not interesting.
Of course it's got celebrities.
Weekly challenges such as hostage rescue exercises or placing a laser target atop a mountain.
More militarization of the American public at large.
Precisely.
Get ready.
This is bad.
Train you for it.
That's exactly what it is.
You know, what did he, you know, first he kills the tentpole, you know, essentially Law& Order New York, the main show.
And then all the other shows drop dead because that thing was holding them all up.
And now he's got nothing except Special Victims Unit, which, you know, has changed its style completely.
So I'm watching Free Speech TV. Wow, what a channel is this on?
I gotta get me this.
What do you got?
I don't think I have free speech TV. Yeah, you do.
I don't have...
Free speech TV is...
Well, if you have the Dish Network, you do.
Hmm.
FSTV. Anyway, Free Speech TV. So they have all these little interstitials because no one wants to buy ads on this network.
No, no one's watching except you.
So they ran into this one, I want this, I want that, which was followed by a visual, which I thought was a hook to this commercial, but I'll read it to you at the end.
But this is a bunch of the people that listen to Free Speech TV bellyaching about the country.
I want to see more serious political conversations starting to happen.
I want corporations out of the government and I want people back in.
I want peace rather than militarization.
I want the top wealthiest Americans to be taxed higher and not money to go to education.
I want economic justice.
I want to be able to speak my voice without jeopardizing my job.
I want a greater regulation of the banks and the markets.
I want my kids to have a job and healthcare.
I want true democracy for the 99% of us who don't have it anymore.
I want hookers and blow and she-mails.
And so at the end of this bull crap, it comes up on the screen, experts predict that by 2030, Glacier National Park will be devoid of glaciers due to global warming.
Our grandchildren will never see them again.
Everything everyone mentioned there is not a problem of global warming.
It's a problem of the NDAA, that the president can kill you and drone you and put you in a black bag and throw you in a truck.
No, no.
Free speech TV never complains about the NDAA and occasionally democracy now will, but then they back Obama and everything else.
Douchebags.
But anyway, I thought it was interesting because that, what was it that said maybe like six, seven years ago in Great Britain that the kids will never see snow again?
Not ten years ago.
Only in snow globes and on television and on the internet will they see snow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Another fine prediction.
So the United States got downgraded by, I guess, not an important company, Egan Jones.
Egan Jones.
Are you familiar with them?
No, but I'm going to look them up right now.
So Egan Jones downgraded the United States credit rating from triple A to double A. I'm sorry, I'm saying that wrong.
From AA... Yeah, they were AA. We've already been downgraded.
No, we were downgraded to AA +, and now they downgraded us to AA. I didn't hear anything about this anywhere.
I mean, are they that insignificant, Egan Jones?
Well, they're not even in the Wikipedia.
How do you spell it?
E-G-A-N-Jones.
Really?
They're not in the Book of Knowledge?
Well, no, no.
I had it spelled wrong.
Egan Jones.
Ratings company.
There you go.
Also known as EJR. Founded in 95.
They are NRSRO status.
They're recognized.
So, not a question.
I watched the Spokeshole Carnies thing.
Nothing came up about it.
Everyone's all about, oh, what about the war on women?
War on women!
This thing is pissing me off, too, by the way.
War on women.
It's like, you know, it's only one word different from the war on terror.
What is that?
War on women.
War on women.
So when the war on women ends, who gets the surrender?
And another bankster has quit.
The Brian Sack, head of the markets group at the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, has tendered his resignation.
Quite a surprise to Wall Street.
In fact, Raymond Stone, I'm reading from Bloomberg here.
No, Denver Post, who got it from Bloomberg.
Raymond Stone, co-founder of Stone and McCarthy Research, says, I'm dumbfounded.
He laid the groundwork for a lot of things the Fed has done and communicated clearly to the market.
He did an excellent job in a difficult situation.
And this is what may be interesting.
His actual tenure ends on June 29th, and that is the date when the Fed's Operation Twist is set to expire.
Can I interrupt you for a split second?
Yeah.
The Egan Jones thing wasn't covered in a big way because they were the last guys to go from AAA to AA+. That's why?
They were the laggards.
Everybody else has dropped the U.S. to AA +, except these guys, and now they finally did.
No, but they went from AA +, to AA+. No, not according to Bloomberg.
This is the story.
Egan Jones cut his rating on the U.S. by one step to AA +, from AAA+. It's interesting.
I have from Yahoo, which is from Reuters, Egan Jones downgraded the U.S. to AA from AA+. Well, actually, you might have something, because this is from July of last year.
Yeah, it must be down.
This is a bad Wikipedia, generally speaking, is so accurate.
Yeah.
Book of Knowledge.
But here it says right here, Egan Jones on July 16th became the first NRSPO to cut his ratings from AAA to AA+. So the first.
Which is what you said, but then when you click on the article that's referenced, it's an old article that cuts it from AAA. This is Wikipedia.
The Book of Knowledge is not right.
Oh no!
Oh no!
Book of Knowledge is sucking!
Okay, never mind.
Sorry I interrupted you.
Go on with your...
Well, no, I was saying that this guy is quitting the minute the Operation Twist ends.
Does he know something we don't know?
Obviously.
It's time to get out.
We're seeing that in all kinds of businesses.
What is Operation Twist?
You talked about it with Horowitz.
It was actually quite an interesting thing.
It's a scam.
Oh, yeah, right.
It's a Federal Reserve scam.
Something to do a thing that does something.
Right?
Yeah.
Is that all you can say?
I don't remember anything.
I'm getting old.
Oh, please.
60 is nothing, man.
When I was a kid, we used the Operation Twist referred to Chubby Checker.
The Euro.
The Euro.
For those of you who had not heard the news, an old pensioner shot himself in front of Parliament, committed suicide.
Greece.
What did I say?
You didn't say the country, did you?
Well, Greece.
And he left a suicide note.
Let me see if I have...
Here it is.
You want to hear a suicide note?
Yeah.
The occupation government of Tsolaguglu, which is a reference to the occupation government of ex-defense minister Tsugulugulugu, who became...
Occupation government, that's great.
...has erased essentially any possibility of my survival, which was based on a decent pension which for 35 years I alone, without intervention of the state, had paid.
I am at an age which doesn't give me the individual capacity for a dynamic intervention, without of course precluding that if one Greek took up arms, the second person would be me.
I can't find another solution from a decent end before I end up looking in the rubbish bins for food.
I believe that the young without a future one day will take up arms and in Sedagma Square will hang upside down the national traders like the Italians did with Mussolini.
Well, that's a pretty good note.
Yeah.
Did Mike Wallace leave a note?
No, I don't think he...
I think he just died.
Oh.
And tonight...
While all this is going on, I might add, Sergey Brin...
Just sold $50 million worth of Google.
Yeah, he knows what's going on.
Tonight, Christine Lagarde will be on CBS. CBS. What's on, is it 60 Minutes maybe tonight, CBS? Yeah, yeah.
CBS. And she reportedly, we'll have to watch tonight, told CBS, it is not yet certain Greece will avoid bankruptcy or a forced exit from the European Union and Eurozone.
Ooh.
Yeah, and of course they have the elections coming up on May 6th.
And there's another report.
This is one that you should talk to Horowitz about it.
This thing called Target Loans in Europe.
Yeah.
So the way it looks is that under these Target Loans it was kind of used as a cover and Germany has printed up 400 billion euros they didn't have or can't back and just kind of made it all up.
It's like, it's hard for me to understand this one, because, you know, when you get into, I'm not familiar with the Target loans.
But, you know, I don't know.
None of this seems good.
No.
No, this is basically a house of cards, financial house of cards are juggling.
It's like these guys, the guy that's on the Ed Sullivan show, he's got a bunch of dishes spinning.
Right.
And he keeps his dishes going.
Let me ask you this question, John.
So when Clippity-Clop resigns Hillary Lucifer...
Shortly.
Yeah, at the end of the first Obama administration, and unfortunately, I have to say, it looks like we're going to have a second Obama administration.
Oh, yeah.
Unless something changes.
Disturbing.
Who do you think will be Secretary of State?
Do you want to do a red book on that?
Who would be good for that?
Well, let's start thinking about it.
It's going to be another woman.
You sure?
Yeah.
Ah, Valerie Jarrett.
Hmm.
That'd be pretty good.
Oh, how about Susan Power?
Hmm.
How about Meg Whitman?
No, I don't think they'd be on a pool.
No, she's a Republican.
Oh, well, so?
So is the transportation guy a Republican?
Yeah, but he's not going to go Secretary of State Republican, no way.
No?
He's going to go with some woman.
I think it's going to be like power or that.
There's one other one.
There's three or four of these women in the cabal.
Power would be a good one.
Power would be because she's completely compromised.
It has to be someone who cares about the pipelines and the oil companies.
It has to be someone tied in.
She has to already be in Hillary's under her umbrella already.
How about that crazy chick?
The one that looks like Lagarde.
She might be good.
The one that I played the clip from the other day, she's the Africa minister, undersecretary.
I can't remember her name.
Hold on.
Africa, undersecretary of state.
That'd be a good thing to do to have an African expert.
Yeah, Sherman.
Sherman is her name.
Wendy.
Wendy, right.
Well, see, this becomes an issue, right?
Wendy Sherman.
Because I don't know if we really wanted any Secretary of State.
No offense to the women out there named Wendy, but it's just not a...
It's not a good name.
It's not a good name.
It's a good name if you're the high school cheerleader.
Yeah.
But it's not a good name if you're the Secretary of State.
Well, how come Hillary is acceptable to you then?
Why is that good?
I've never said it was good.
I think Wendy's worse than Hillary.
But I think Wendy, maybe they're priming her for the job.
She has that whole...
She looks like Lagarde.
She looks like...
No, she's got the right look and feel.
Hey, wait a minute.
Have you ever seen...
Except when you see her with the outer makeup.
Oh, my God.
Have you ever seen Sebelius, Christine Lagarde, and Wendy Sherman in one picture?
Well, I've never seen their wig in one shot, that's for sure.
All right, over in Gitmo Nation East, here's the latest that's going on.
I think it relates to the United States.
Shares of Rupert Murdoch's News Corp rebounded slightly after Sky News, 39% owned by News Corp, admits its Sky journalists hacked emails of suspected criminals on two occasions.
The company also admitted to compromising national law around airport security and illegal weapons not once, but twice.
Sky News chief John Raleigh said in a statement, and I quote...
We stand by these actions as editorially justified and in the public interest.
We do not take such decisions lightly or frequently.
They require finely balanced judgment based on individual circumstances.
Whoa.
Whoa.
So, whoa.
So James, of course, resigned last week.
Yeah, this is all out to get him.
Well, I think something else.
Have you been watching Fox recently?
I watched Fox on occasion.
Yeah.
So I have a feeling, you know, we saw Judge Napolitano go, they've toned down a lot of their anti-Obama stuff, which I really think they have toned it down a little bit.
I would agree.
I have a feeling that this, of course, did not only happen in Gitmo Nation East, that the Murdoch tentacles have been doing the same here in the United States, and I think they're being blackmailed.
Say, look, you guys better get on board with our program, and you better, like, swing with us, or we're going to bring down everything in the state.
And let's face it, Fox Communications is, I mean, it's the motherlode here.
Well, no, the movies, the network TV, the cable channels, plural, and all the other fingers they got in the pie.
Yeah, if you had the goods on them and you were Axelrod, You could go over and have a meeting.
You'd be using it.
We're going to make sure that you know what you're doing here.
I want you to make sure you get rid of Murdoch, James Murdoch.
Let's make sure you fire him.
That'll be the signal that it's okay.
Okay, yeah.
That you're playing ball.
Yep.
So keep your eye.
That would make sense.
Keep your eye on what's going on.
Yeah.
So watch Fox compromise.
It's horrible anyway.
Yeah.
In terms of, you know.
Nice legs.
Got it, mate.
Yeah, watch Gilfee.
Watch Gilfoyl.
Did you say Gilfee?
Gilfoyl.
I like Gilfee better.
Gilfee.
Oh, Gilfee.
Yeah, let's use that.
Gilfee.
All right, there's two clips I see on your list that I'd love for you to play, and then we have an end-of-show clip, which we're going to roll out.
What is the prescription drugs clip?
That looks pretty good.
I don't even see that.
It's more expensive than.
Oh yeah, I thought this was good.
This was one of these things on, I think it was C-SPAN, where the guy's describing the addiction, or one of those networks, about the prescription drug situation getting out of control because they're trying to crack down on the drug companies.
And then he just slips in this little noteworthy point about heroin.
This is on pharmacies now.
The DEA says it looks for red flags, things like unusually large orders in an effort to prevent prescription painkillers from being sold illegally.
The National Association of Chain Drug Stores says it has zero tolerance for prescription drugs being diverted to the black market.
But it's also working with law enforcement on another problem.
The rise in prescription drug abuse has led to pharmacies around the country being robbed.
In New York's Suffolk County, four people were killed in a pharmacy robbery last June.
Unfortunately, it's a very serious problem in the fact that the price on the black market of prescription drugs, mainly painkillers, is so high and that they can actually buy heroin at 25% less.
I like he's got a number.
Yeah, of course.
It's in the annual report.
Wow.
So the fake stuff is more expensive than the real deal?
Well, the manufacturers say, yeah, that's the joke of it.
The Oxy is more expensive.
I think the heroin is about to go up, though.
You can do it.
You can gouge your customers.
I did find one point in that little clip interesting where the woman, the voiceover says, the National Association of Pharmacies has a zero tolerance.
So what?
It was zero tolerance.
Yeah.
So what does the association...
This is like saying the bowling tournament association.
Zero tolerance.
Zero tolerance.
So what?
Yeah, really.
What does that make?
It's not zero tolerance.
Who are they kidding here with this?
Yeah.
What have they got to do with it?
So I'm not a member of the association.
So what are you going to do about it?
I mean, this is dumb.
I think the poppy price is going to go up a little bit.
NATO has now...
Front page.
Front page.
Sunday New York Times.
You've got to see this article.
Front page.
Big picture on the front page.
Still far afield, it says.
American soldiers walk through the poppy fields during a mission with Afghan troops in Kandahar province on Saturday.
And they've got all these blooming poppies.
These are beauties, by the way.
These poppies.
And they're just soldiers walking through.
It's like there's a path cut right in the middle of the field.
I thought they were supposed to be chopping this stuff down or something.
This is bull crap.
This is code.
This picture is the front page of today's New York Times, Sunday Times.
What's the name of the article?
There's no article.
It's just a picture.
Really?
Yeah, there's no article.
It says, maybe you can look for the slug, which is still far afield.
There is no article attached to this.
Really?
Just a picture?
It's like saying, okay, now here's the stat.
It's like a status report.
Here's the status of the poppy fields.
Let's put it on the front page of the New York Times for all you investors.
Seriously.
The investors.
There's no article attached to it, at least not in the front page.
It doesn't say see page 5 or anything.
I can't find anything.
Well, you know, we're not going to have any news for the next five days.
It'll all be about Mike Wallace.
Oh, well, when you talked about Christine Lagarde's getting bumped.
Yeah.
She might.
She might get bumped.
She might get bumped, for sure.
She might get bumped.
That would suck.
I didn't have to watch it.
The Kremlin expressed its willingness on Wednesday to allow NATO to use an airfield in the heart of Russia to transit troops and, quote, non-lethal cargo in and out of Afghanistan.
Hello?
Hello?
Non-lethal cargo?
Yeah.
What does that mean?
Poppies?
Yeah.
Or just a finished heroin?
Yeah.
Black tar, maybe.
Yeah.
And then I wanted to hear your...
Which one is it?
Head Start as a Jip, or do you want to save that?
Yeah, play Head Start as a Jip.
What is Head Start?
Head Start is a preschool program that the government drops billions on that's supposed to give kids, especially from underperforming areas, give the kids a head start.
Zero advantage for disadvantaged kids.
What do you mean zero advantage?
There was a study that just came out in 2010, funded by the federal government.
It looked at 114 indicators.
It did not find one positive outcome.
Some poor kids got Head Start.
Other kids didn't.
They couldn't tell the difference between the kid that had the large Head Start investment and the similar poor disadvantaged kid.
The government's own study found positive impacts while the kids were in Head Start.
But one year later, all gone.
By kindergarten and first grade, they could find no difference in the kids that went and the kids that didn't.
Now our president's taken a strong stance against ineffective programs.
We've got to eliminate programs that don't work.
Eliminating programs that don't work.
Eliminating programs that no longer work.
We've spent more than $100 billion, and the government does this big study and finds, oops, no difference.
So they say, okay, we're going to stop.
No, instead it gets a billion dollar increase.
And then the next year, in 2012, this year, it gets a 400 million dollar increase.
And in Obama's 2013 budget, it gets another 100 million dollar increase.
Wait a minute, this is the thing they all said that George Bush created that was sucked?
Well, I think George Bush is credited with the No Child Left Behind.
Head Start, No Child Left Behind, whatever.
It's just a rip-off.
It's another thing that's like babysitting.
A very expensive babysitting.
To see if your kid's spinning.
Right, and apparently you never went to Head Start.
No, because they would have nailed me immediately for spinning.
Yes.
Would have been no good.
Did you ever go to those rock concerts, those old rock concerts where there was a lot of stuff being smoked and there's always some woman up in the balcony spinning?
Did you ever see those?
No!
The spinning hippie.
A little Woodstock could see it.
They're always wearing the real blousey sleeves that are hanging and they'd be spinning and spinning.
No, but clearly we need to medicate that bitch.
Oh yeah.
That's wrong, man.
I think she was medicated at the time.
That's the joke.
Alright, tell us about our end of show clip we're going to play today.
Here's the two guys from Georgetown University that apparently do a road show.
This is the one guy we had last week who actually recommends that we bomb Iran now.
Right, that guy.
My buddy.
And his nemesis who thinks we were nuts to even think about it.
And the nemesis has got more on the ball, it seems to me.
And he also seems senior.
And he looks exactly like a central casting version of a CIA analyst.
And he's kind of a fast talker, too.
And so the two of them have this...
This is the end of a long debate that was on CNN, and they're summarizing.
I cut off the first guy's summary a little bit, but you hear the end of it.
And then the other guy wraps it up with a couple minutes of discussion of what he thinks should be going on with Iran.
All right.
Red Book Prediction.
I hate to make this one, but I have a bad feeling.
I think there will be an attempt on the president's life in the next four weeks.
No response, John?
That's it?
Well, I mean, it would bring some interesting conversation into play.
No kidding.
All right, everybody, we'll be back on Thursday.
A reminder, a special program, Sir Paul and Sir Jimmy the Book Guys show tonight, 9 p.m.
Eastern, with special guests from Twit, Tom Merritt and Veronica Belmont.
Will you be on the tweeters today, John?
No, I will not.
Have you not been invited?
I was not invited unceremoniously.
So you can catch that at 9pm Eastern on noagendastream.com.
Make sure you check that out and hop in the chat room and talk with the guys.
And, well, we'll be on the case, on the stick, throughout the next couple of days, doing everything that you need us to do so you don't have to.
Coming to you from the capital of the Drone Star State, also known as Austin, Texas.
In the morning, everybody.
I'm Adam Curry.
It's always in the morning.
I'm John C. Dvorak here from northern Silicon Valley.
See you again on Thursday.
All right.
And remember, Dvorak.org slash NA. See you on Thursday, everybody, right here on No Agenda.
You want to slide whistle us out, buddy?
I can do that.
My swan whistle.
Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling.
Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. That brought tears to my eyes.
Facing the country, I felt like Iran was steadily marching toward a nuclear weapons capability, and a lot of people kind of had their head in the sand, I think, putting all their eggs in the sanctions and diplomacy basket.
And as I said before, I'd be absolutely delighted if we can solve this through diplomacy, but I'm afraid that we can't.
And I'm afraid that at some point soon, we are going to have to make this tough choice between I'm delighted simply to have the discussion.
You know, Colin pointed out that there are risks to a strike.
I agree with that.
Colin pointed out that we have some time for diplomacy.
I agree with that.
I think we have less time than Colin thinks.
I think that the risks of a strike are less grave than Colin does.
But given the grave threat of a nuclear armed Iran, nothing Colin said tonight leads me to back away from my conclusion that if we're faced with this difficult choice, a strike is the least bad option.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I think, actually, the tone and the assumptions that one brings into this issue are really important.
And I think, ultimately, Matt and I have now done this four or five times.
It's like Barnum and Bailey.
We go from city to city doing this thing.
The problem I ultimately have, I think my discomfort comes from the fact that, on the one hand, I'm nervous about adopting worst-case assumptions about the implications of a nuclear Iran when I think that the argument is more complicated and nuanced than just it's the end of the world if Iran develops nuclear weapons.
I think it's really bad, not as bad as some argue.
But nevertheless, we have to be cautious about worst-case assumptions.
Why?
Because in the lead-up to the war in Iraq in 2003, a war that cost 4,500 Americans their lives, 33,000 wounded, more than 100,000 Iraqi dead, millions of refugees, a trillion dollars, and growing, we adopted worst-case assumptions about a phantom menace.
So we've got to be careful not to do that again.
The second thing is I think we need to be very careful about having worst case assumptions about the prospects for diplomacy because we can very easily talk ourselves into saying that's it.
That's the last straw.
That meeting didn't go well.
That's it.
Now it's time for military action.
And I don't think that Matt's saying that.
But I think that a lot of people who pick up on Matt's arguments and wheel them about in this town, in Congress, on some talk shows and others, do make that argument.
That they're basically waiting, they're looking for any sign that sanctions or diplomacy have failed, not because they actually want them to succeed, but because they want war.
And we have to be careful about that.
And then lastly, we have to be very careful about adopting best-case assumptions about how the war will go and what the aftermath will be like.
Because all we know about wars, you know, I've been involved in Pentagon stuff for a long time now, and there's the old cliche in the Pentagon that no plan survives first contact with the enemy.
It just doesn't.
The world will not go according to the way Matt proposed.
It won't go the way that I said it will.
It will go in some uncertain trajectory.
But in a region that is extraordinarily unstable, where there's already extraordinary uncertainty, in a global economy that's just now pulling out of the Great Recession, it's time to be cautious and to not...
Fall prey to best-case assumptions about how easily the war will go, how much time it will buy, how easy it will be to bottle up Iran in the aftermath.
So, reject the worst-case assumptions.
Be equally skeptical about the best-case assumptions as it relates to war.
The good news is...
I'm just not as pessimistic about diplomacy at the end of the day, I think, as Matt is.
I don't think there's going to be a breakthrough in the coming months.
But the Iranians are really hurting.
The regime is hurting.
I think the Supreme Leader has made certain moves inside his government to give him some freedom of action to dial back the tension a little bit.
So we'll have to see in the coming months whether he's willing to dial back some of the nuclear activities that are driving the Israeli strike clock to be spinning as quickly as it is.
And let's see if we can buy, you know, it's not just the Iranians who want to buy time.
We all need to buy time.
We all need to slow the program down to buy time over the next year or two or so to reach a final resolution to this issue.
In this point, I would basically agree with President Obama.
There is no military solution short of invasion and occupation that creates a permanent solution to this problem.
Only a diplomatic outcome creates an enduring solution.
So we should give every opportunity for diplomatic success before rushing into war.
Thanks a lot.
Let's thank our guests tonight, Dr.
Colin Paul and Dr.
Matthew Kramer.
Thank you so much.
And thank you for joining us.
For millions of Americans, this weekend is a time to celebrate redemption at God's hands.
Export Selection