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Jan. 12, 2012 - No Agenda
02:36:03
373: Paraphilia
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Can people play along at home?
Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
It's Thursday, January 12th, 2012.
Time for your Get My Nation Media Assassination, episode 373.
This is no agenda.
Defying electability from Camp Mofo here in Austin, Texas, the capital of the drone star state.
In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
And on Garbage Day here in northern Silicon Valley, I'm John C. Dvorak.
It's Crackpot and Buzzkill.
In the morning...
Stinger.
Hey, we're synced up.
We have the same garbage day now.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, so we can remind each other.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Did you put the trash out?
A bunch of women who live in the same dorm room.
Did you put the trash out?
This is my job, by the way.
The trash.
She doesn't contribute to the trash removal?
No, that is my job.
I do trash removal.
That's the one thing that has really set my job.
Trash removal.
That's okay.
That's kind of what we do on this show.
Yeah.
Oh, hello everybody.
In the morning to you there, Johnny Boy.
In the morning to you, Adam Curry and all ships at sea and all the boots on the ground and feet in the air.
And of course, our human resources all charged up, ready to go in the chat room at noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net.
Let me just check and see if we have a quorum.
We do indeed.
People are tuning in.
We always do the program live.
On Thursdays and Sunday mornings.
And that's at 9 o'clock, Gitmo Nation West time.
And you can listen to it streaming live, which some people apparently find entertaining.
Yeah, I was baffled by people who insist on listening live.
Well, we insist on doing it live.
Yes, we do.
So, you know, it's like, I like it.
And I think people also enjoy the pre-stream and our little banter before we get started and all that stuff.
Yeah.
As long as the pre-stream doesn't hit the floor.
John, please, would you mind...
I'm on a roll!
Yeah, you are.
I'll give you another little...
Would you mind stepping into the time machine once again, John?
Okay, here I go.
Okay, you're in, and here we go.
Let's go back to the previous paragraph.
Where we discussed the New Hampshire primaries.
But from a perspective of someone who might be a professional in the field that's analyzing what they've seen so far without hearing the last debate, I would suspect that Romney will win...
With a large portion of the vote and the three other guys will kind of split the second half of the...
In other words, I think Santorum, maybe Gingrich and Paul will each have about the same amount and then twice as many votes for Romney.
He's a local boy.
It's a local election for him.
Yeah, because he's from Massachusetts.
Yeah.
Well, if I were to produce this...
And by the way, I'd have some of the Hooters girls at the convention during the caucus just walking around.
But if I were to produce this and I want to have a good news show, I agree.
I'm going to say Romney 40%.
Then I'm going to say Ron Paul 2nd.
And it will be, you're right, it will be a significantly smaller percentage, and this will show...
Sub-20.
Yeah, sub-20.
I'm thinking somewhere in the 15-18% range.
Gingrich falls off the radar, but right behind Ron Paul will be Santorum.
With like 1%, it'll be a race between Santorum and Ron Paul, and then Upset will have Huntsman as third.
There you go.
Well, I think we, except for the Ron Paul got 23% instead of 15 to 18, I think we pretty much called it once again, John.
Yeah, I think we may have miscalled it if we take a listen to...
Let me get the right clip here.
You caught me off guard.
I'm trying to see if I have this right clip.
Oh yeah, I caught you off guard.
Once again, we predict a television show's outcome, and you don't think that's going to be the first thing I'm going to do in the show?
I caught you off guard.
Uh...
Play take Ron Paul out of the equation, because this is what really happened.
With Mitt Romney's victory in the bag, the only question that remained last night, who would be the first pundit to dismiss Ron Paul's second place finish?
NBC News can now project that Ron Paul will finish second.
If you take Ron Paul out of this, what would have happened to Huntsman?
Huntsman is the real second here.
No!
You can't!
You're not allowed to just take Ron Paul out of this!
I opted not to use that clip, so I'm kind of glad you did.
Well, Lawrence O'Donnell is such a douchebag that he would do this.
But I also have another good.
And the reason I kept it in, because I have a different clip from him where he's like lecturing the Republicans on what, you know, especially about this Romney Bain Capital thing, which is bullshit.
Who cares?
Yeah.
But play, this is another Lawrence O'Donnell douchebag clip where he goes on.
That's what triggered me to keep this other clip.
Wealth.
And Newt Gingrich is asking how many people could have kept their jobs if Mitt Romney was willing to make a couple of hundred million dollars less than what he made at Bain Capital.
If Newt Gingrich stops talking about this tomorrow, if Rush Limbaugh scares him into silence on this, Newt Gingrich has already done an admirable job of forcing Republicans to think about something they don't like to think about.
The difference between doing something, between the right to do something, and doing the right thing.
He kind of botched the end of that thing.
I exaggerated it by rerunning it.
The guy is unbelievable.
You know, the sad thing is, is this virus, this, well...
It's not really a virus.
It's, of course, because they actually are very afraid of what's going on here is spreading.
I have a couple of things also from around the world, just so we can hear from how this is being perceived in other Gitmo nation states.
This first, though, is...
Dana Bash on CNN. The alien woman.
She is reptilian, but they didn't finish her yet.
They need to plump up the cheeks a little bit, and then she won't look quite as alien.
They've got to get her a little more human looking.
A little more humanized.
Now, she is a member of the mainstream media, but listen to the words she uses, because they matter in this report where she's talking to a wolf.
Now, for now, obviously, they are very much focused on getting out as many voters to the caucus sites across the state as possible.
Tomorrow, I still am hearing from Republicans, John, who are affiliated with other campaigns, that they are amazed at how wonderful, frankly, that they say the Ron Paul organization is.
We'll see if that actually bears out tomorrow.
But in terms of the long term, there's no question.
I'm sure you talk to Republicans who are worried as well, just like I am.
What?!
That Ron Paul will continue on long into the spring and summer, even further, even if he runs as a Republican or as an independent, he could really hurt whomever the Republican nominee is because still nobody thinks, even if he does well here in New Hampshire, that he will ultimately be the nominee.
Now, I clearly heard her say that a lot of Republican strategists are worried, just like I am, that Ron Paul will.
Can you replay that?
Yeah.
Who are worried as well, just like I am.
Wow.
Holy mackerel.
That is already the clip of the day.
Oh really?
Okay, well I'll take that.
That's a great catch.
Clip of the day.
That's a great catch on bias.
That's amazing.
I mean, that's the problem that we have.
I mean, I have a thing here.
I don't want to change the subject because I want to go back to it.
But just talking about this double talk and the double standards and the media bias.
Listen to this Rick Santorum clip on assassinations where he...
Let's make sure it's the right one.
Yeah, the Rick Santorum clip on assassination.
Tell me where you see the double talk.
We've got problems.
There was a nuclear scientist who was...
No, no, no, no.
It may be more Santorum doublespeak.
Is that the one you're thinking about?
That would be it.
Okay, I'll pull you there.
Iran must not get a nuclear weapon, and we will go about whatever it takes to make sure that happens.
That's right!
To make sure that happens.
You mean that they do get a nuclear weapon?
Or they do do get it.
Or they do not get a nuclear weapon.
Less less more.
Let me listen to that again.
Iran must not get a nuclear weapon.
And we will go about whatever it takes to make sure that happens.
I got so much Iran and Syria stuff, because Lucifer, Clippity-Clop, Clinton, and Susan Rice were out in full force.
I want to get to this one clip, because we'll get off this soon.
I have a couple world clips, too.
Ron Paul thing.
Talking about sinking to the lowest of the low, Jay Leno.
This kid, this idiot kid, who comes on his show and he wraps up the news on the candidates.
It's not John, is it, who used to work for Howard Stern?
No, no.
I don't think he works for Leno anymore.
No, I'm talking about a kid, like a nine-year-old, who comes on and he makes these.
Now, tell me, listen to this.
First, there's a setup with one guy, and then he goes on to discuss.
The little idiot kid discusses Ron Paul, and tell me that this isn't like a weird kind of sick media bias.
It's diversity, opinions, faith.
Rick Santorum talks more about God than his economic plan.
But God is a good thing.
Because God is what created people.
And I think people really look up to him a lot.
And I think that he is speaking a lot about God to make others feel good about it.
Do you believe Governor Romney now when he says that he is a man of constancy and that he'll stand up for conservative principles?
You know, I think this whole discussion so far has been very superficial, and I think the question in a way that you ask is superficial in that you're talking about character, which is very important.
I think Ron Paul is like 86 years old.
Oh man.
I hope it's close.
I have no idea.
Ron Paul, he probably takes more naps than I do though.
Governor Perry, we know you have differences in President Obama, but who's got the better of this argument right here between Senator Santorum and Governor?
Yeah, so more ageous crap.
Ageous crap.
And by the way, that piece with the little kid was edited to those two clips.
They chose those two clips overtly.
This is not Freeform Live TV. I have noticed, though, whenever they talk about Congressman Ron Paul, it's always like, the 76-year-old congressman.
They don't say, you know, about Mitt Romney, the 52-year-old governor.
They don't say that.
They don't say that.
So, you know, it's pure ageism.
Britt Hume.
Britt Hume.
This one circulated around the net quite a bit.
Now, senior political analyst Britt Hume with some thoughts on this evening.
Hi, Britt.
Hi, Brett.
My thought would be, obviously, we have an important win for Romney to New Hampshire.
Proves once again that the New Hampshire primary matters and matters a lot.
The Paul showing is interesting because I think it's perhaps a closer second than many of us thought he would achieve, but I continue to believe, and I think most observers do, that he's got about as much chance of being nominated as RuPaul would.
Ha, ha, ha!
Oh, jeez.
How low can you go?
I mean, but by the way, the science is in.
Most people agree.
Now, I mean, so he apparently, as a journalist, went to these other...
Let me just hear exactly what he called them.
I think most observers do.
Most observers agree that RuPaul has a bigger chance of becoming the candidate.
So that's a fact.
He's actually gone around and asked?
Yes.
Well, I think RuPaul.
And they all know who RuPaul is, of course.
Sure.
Yeah, very, very good.
Let's go around the world.
First, let's go to our neighbors in Canada.
And I received this clip from one of our Canadian producers who was appalled.
Because, of course, the Canadians are pretty proud of their news, falsely and incorrectly proud of their news.
This is from the CBC who characterized Dr.
Ron Paul.
Tonight we made history!
Mitt Romney won all right, as expected, and this time by a good deal more than his minuscule eight-vote margin in Iowa.
In a solid second place, the libertarian Ron Paul.
But we're nibbling at his heels.
Paul, a somewhat wacky anti-Central Bank, anti-war candidate, continues to be carried along by his small flock of assorted, devoted followers.
But I sort of have to chuckle when they describe you and me as being dangerous.
That's the one surprise of the night.
The third place finish by former Utah Governor John Huntsman.
Now this is very carefully crafted.
And Ron Paul, someone does have to speak to him about this.
Because when you talk like this and you're excited, then you get these sound bites which take out of context.
It sounds creepy.
Yeah.
But, you know, did they say wacky, anti-bank, kooky, creepy, you know, his legion or whatever, his army, his devoted father, crazy people.
Thank you very much, Canadia.
You know, so that's how it's being portrayed there.
This is the ruling...
You know, the ruling elites, as it were.
Of course it is the elites.
They're just doing what they can to marginalize the guy.
I mean, even Rush Limbaugh, just as an aside, if you go to Rush Limbaugh's website to see his commentary on Ron Paul, he has two pictures of Ron Paul on a transcript, and both of the pictures have been photoshopped with a tinfoil hat on Ron Paul.
Yeah, that's so hilarious.
I mean, this guy's a Republican, and Limbaugh's the spokeshole for the Republicans, essentially, or the independents.
He claims to be an independent.
Ron Paul is the independent choice.
So what is his problem?
He's a douche knuckle.
Duh!
The BBC did their own little version.
That's where Newt Gingrich or Rick Santorum, two classic right-wing socially conservative candidates, could upset and beat Romney.
If that happens, then one of them will emerge as the anybody-but-Romney candidate, as the conservative champion, and then we might have a serious two-man race.
But the problem is, at the moment, the conservative wing of the Republicans is too divided.
And which of those do you think could actually beat Obama?
Well, that's an even tougher question.
It's almost a good question, but apparently it's a tough question.
If you look at national polls, none of them can beat Obama.
The one guy other than Romney who could beat Obama, according to national polls, I'm not making this up, is maverick libertarian Ron Paul.
CBS today said that he's only one point behind Obama in a hypothetical setup.
And that's because he appeals, by the way, to those blue-collar voters we were discussing earlier.
Now, this is very interesting.
So, first of all, there's a degrading quality in this report.
I'm not making this up.
Can you believe that this is creepy?
How can it be?
You can't have some kooky old guy, an old codger.
Crackpot.
Old Dr.
Paul.
So if you look at all news media and Gitmo Nation proper here, they have now changed.
Since the polls clearly show that Ron Paul is popular, and it's not Ron Paul, it's his message.
His message of let's not kill people, let's restore some freedom and personal liberty.
Now they are switching to electability.
Oh, no.
Now we have to have electability.
Now, first of all, the definition of electability is that you're an American citizen, that you haven't been in jail, I think.
Is there any other qualification?
Well, of course, they're referring to a...
I know, but we're talking about how words matter.
Well, it's just the age.
You have to be born here.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just basically the age in having to be born here.
Is there an age limit?
You have to be a certain age?
I think you can run as a felon.
I'm not sure you can.
Do you have to be a certain age to...
You have to have a minimum age, which is like 32 or something.
I don't remember what it is.
Oh, I didn't know there was a minimum age.
Okay.
Yeah, there is.
Yeah.
Maybe it's in the...
I'll look it up.
So something very interesting is happening here.
And this is exciting me.
On the other hand, it's baffling me a little bit.
So this electability thing is...
Because, of course, the charts all show Romney is so electable.
Because, let's face it, his hair is perfect.
He's got the strong jawline.
Just interrupt.
He's 35 years old at the day of the election.
At the day of the election.
Okay.
I wonder why they made that rule.
Didn't people die when they were 40 back then?
Yeah.
So it's like, you just have, we'll be present.
Yeah, Ron Paul's young man, by the way.
Yeah, really.
Yeah, really.
So this is a big thing.
All the charts now, and of course, it really matters when you watch television.
Oh, well, Romney's way ahead.
But it's not in polling, it's in electability.
It was just something very different.
So this is a very interesting, sneaky thing that the media is doing because...
It's amazing.
Clearly they...
They can't...
Every time they turn around, and they're found out in ridicule.
I mean, Stewart does it constantly.
Yeah, but no one watches Stewart.
And of course, Judge Napolitano is the only other one on Fox.
No one watches him either.
And no one watches him.
And by the way, it's not about the watching, it's about the repetition.
This is why we buy washing powder.
It's repetition.
If you keep getting the message hammered over and over and over again...
And the funny thing is when you go out and float around with your friends or you go to some dinner, you're hanging out at some event, and you bring up Ron Paul, they just, unless there are no Agenda listeners, they just throw it right back.
They take the pap and throw it right back.
Oh, he's nuts.
It's programmed.
What?
You're kidding me.
That guy wants the gold standard.
Yeah.
Which is such a bad thing.
The gold can't.
It's crazy.
Because they've just heard stuff.
And of course, this is why you listen to this program, because we can help you get laid at cocktail parties.
Now, the Paul campaign, something interesting has happened.
They now have a spokeshole, Doug Weed.
Does this name ring a bell for you?
No, it doesn't ring a bell.
Weed.
W-E-A-D. Why don't you look him up and I'll play this clip.
He's been on all of the news programs spinning this electability thing.
And in a good way.
I'm just interested about the Doug Weed character in general.
Doug Wheat is a senior advisor to the Paul campaign and joins us now from Washington.
Doug, great to see you again.
Thanks so much for joining us.
Thank you.
Well, in the latest South Carolina poll, Dr.
Paul was at 12%.
Mitt Romney was at 37%.
He said last night he was nibbling at his heels, and he certainly was in a strong second-place finish here in New Hampshire.
But when you look at the crowds, he's got passionate young supporters.
He's got a lot of anti-war supporters, a lot of libertarian supporters.
Crazy people, by the way.
At the same time, do you really think he has a credible run or march to the nomination given the fact that Mitt Romney has now won Iowa and New Hampshire and is far ahead in South Carolina?
Yes, we do.
If we've learned anything in this election cycle, we have learned that anything can happen.
And this is basically now a two-man race.
That is a secret that's been hidden in plain view for six months with the polls that showed both Ron Paul and Mitt Romney as the only Republican candidates that were within striking distance of Obama.
And Ron Paul was doing as well as Mitt Romney within the I agree.
But reality?
We have to run this campaign on reality, and we can still win it.
But the exit polls don't have that kind of margin of error.
And in the exit polls, overwhelmingly, those who voted in New Hampshire said that they think that the most important qualification is electability.
Okay, here it comes.
You've looked up Doug Weed by now, right?
This is a pro.
I've seen him a couple times, too.
This guy's a pro.
Yeah, his connections are interesting.
Well, he was special assistant to George W. H.W. Oh, H.W., I'm sorry, yeah, H.W. But he's worked with George W. Well, listen to the eligibility question, and then I want your take on what this guy is doing here, if he's good or bad.
And that Mitt Romney has that nailed.
Now, going forward, if Ron Paul does not win in South Carolina, is there a point at which he would decide not to continue on, because it would simply be damaging the frontrunner, Mitt Romney, and helping to re-elect Barack Obama?
Well, just a second, Andrea, I challenge your premise.
It's true that in those exit polls, they say that electability is the most important issue.
And it's true that in the NBC Marist poll or any of these polls, the people polled think that Ron Paul can't beat Barack Obama.
But when they actually ask in your polls, who do you favor, Ron Paul or Barack Obama, he does better than all of the Republican contenders, except So this is
very interesting.
I believe...
That somewhere in the powers that be, someone said, let's really push Ron Paul.
I think that's what's happening here.
Because this guy doesn't just show up for no good reason.
I mean, yeah, it takes money to hire a guy like this.
I'm sure he's not cheap.
And just looking at his website, dougweed.com, W-E-A-D, speaking fee for international engagements is $50,000.
So, that's just for him to go there and show a PowerPoint.
So, this guy can't be cheap.
And it lightens my heart somewhat that perhaps somewhere in the dark corridors, someone said, you know what, let's push him.
Well, I think I've seen him a couple times.
I'm reading his bio, his wiki bio, and he sounds like he's connected to the intelligence community, to be quite honest about it.
Yeah, sure.
And he might be part of a blocking strategy.
Which I think is what's really going on here.
Because the way he phrased that last thing that you played, which is everyone except Mitt Romney, and he kind of deferred, in other words, I think they're using Ron Paul, and this guy will be part of that scheme, to block the other candidates.
Completely.
So none of them can make a run at Romney at this point.
And that's exactly what Ron Paul is doing.
He's acting like a new version of Huckabee.
Huckabee was used as a blocking strategy.
This is a known script then.
This is nothing new.
This is the Huckabee blocking strategy that was used against the people trying to push McCain out.
Because McCain was knighted.
To become the candidate, whether anyone liked it or not.
Well, I think McCain, I truly believe, I truly believe he was on the inside and he was meant to lose.
I think that was the strategy.
That doesn't surprise me either.
But I'm just saying from the one half of the perspective, not the meta...
The meta-concept, but just from the perspective of who's going to be the nominee of the Republican Party.
I believe that Romney, who also ran in 2008, was given the...
They keep saying this.
This is the guy.
He's the next guy.
They're going to give him the nomination.
So they set him up.
Because there's no reason that...
That Romney won Iowa.
None.
In fact, I don't think he did.
I think Santorum did, but they won't give it to him.
They found 20-odd votes that were miscast.
You're not telling me there's gambling going on there.
There's 20-odd votes that were miscast.
Romney's the only guy in history, because he's actually a weak candidate for the Republicans being a Mormon.
Not that there's anything wrong with Mormons, and I think they hate Mormons, which makes him a weak candidate for the Republicans.
This is the first candidate in history that won both Iowa and New Hampshire.
New Hampshire was a shoe-in for him because he was basically a New Hampshire person.
He's from the next Massachusetts Nuts, right next door.
But there was no, at the beginning, if you remember like six months ago, there was no way that he was going to win Iowa.
In fact, the way it was presented, he's not even serious about Iowa.
So how does he win Iowa?
Now he's going to South Carolina where all he has to do is win that, then it's over.
And the best thing to do is to get a blocking candidate to keep these other guys, especially Gingrich, who's going to go right after Romney.
He's very annoyed.
But do you think that the Ron Paul camp understands what is going on?
No, they're sincere.
And the fact of the matter...
You know who said that twice?
I was watching...
I've seen it quite a lot recently.
Yeah, Perry says it constantly.
All the time.
He says it all the time.
Yeah, I know.
So it's hard for me to get rid of it.
I should have not said that.
But anyway...
The chat room goes wild, by the way.
The chat room can...
I'd go to the chat room, but if they didn't kick me out, nobody showed up.
And we know.
So I... No, I don't think so.
And I think it's still a possibility that Ron Paul could win the whole thing, but...
But the strategy will change if Ron Paul gets any more traction.
I think they're going to let him have a good showing in South Carolina because he's got real low numbers now and he'll boost up to perhaps second place as a blocking candidate.
And then after that, that's the end of him.
And by the way, we predicted before this all started that Romney would be the candidate.
I mean, it was a no-brainer.
I am hopeful, though, because I know that Ron Paul's anti-Federal Reserve stance is actually appreciated and welcomed by quite a few on Wall Street.
As strange as that may sound, I truly have hope that this guy that Doug Weed has been put in to do some good and not just...
I mean, I hear you.
And logically, I think I agree with you, but I really don't want to believe it.
But Paul himself has said that his most important thing here is to get his message into the mainstream thought process.
It's essentially a subversive message.
It's not a subversive message to you, me, or the listeners to the No Agenda show.
It's a subversive message to the system that has taken away our rights and has had all these crazy wars and is breaking the backs of the working public and also busting the country.
We have, you know, we're broke.
If he truly wants to propagate that message and if he does not become president, the best thing for him to do is to become the host of Fear Factor.
Then he would get some attention.
That's the only way.
Otherwise, people won't watch.
There's no way.
You can't get on television otherwise.
Wouldn't he be great as the host of Fear Factor?
He'd be great as a lot of different hosts.
Yeah, he'd be great as the host of this show.
There's always a possibility.
I'd like to see him as the host of, and we'll get to these shows later, Toddlers and Tiaras.
Yeah.
Okay, right.
Let's thank some producers, John, who have once again showed up to support our value for value message.
We have no advertising on this program so we can speak freely, are not hampered by any of the constraints or filters that mainstream media has.
We don't have to say we're afraid of Ron Paul.
We can say whatever we want and that's because the program is completely sponsored by its listeners, also known as producers, who supply a good 70% of the material on the show.
Yeah, and it's true too because the type of show we do, I can assure you, We'd be getting phone calls after each show.
Hey, um...
After each show.
John and Adam...
Every single show would have a phone call from some suit saying, you know, you shouldn't...
Could you back off a little bit on this?
I think you're spending too much time.
Oh, no, you shouldn't have done this.
You shouldn't have...
They're always doing this.
No, no, no.
Here's how I work.
You know, I really love the political angle you guys are taking.
That's really cool.
Yeah, that's the worst type.
But, why don't you just slip in a little Taylor Swift news or something.
People are interested in that stuff too.
That's what they do.
And what happens is they don't just do it once in a while because you can resist.
Oh yeah, okay, sure, next time.
Oh yeah.
But it's show after show after show after and it just never lets up and you eventually cave.
Yeah, exactly.
Or you quit.
Because you can't take it anymore.
Yeah.
Well, I never caved on Arrow Class of Rock.
Well, you were fired.
No, no.
The station was...
Oh, the station was burnt to the ground.
Almost literally burnt to the ground.
Yeah, well, that's a different story.
David Overbeck, we want to thank him for being a executive producer for this show, number 373.
Yes.
From Elm Grove, Wisconsin.
And he gave 3-3-3-3-3.
And he'll become a knight today.
And he's a knight.
He wanted to finish up his knighthood with a 3-3-3-3 donation in honor of my lucky 33rd birthday this Friday, January 13th.
Friday the 13th, I'd like to ask for some karma for my smoking hot fiancé, Kristen.
Oh, hold on a second.
Let me do that for him.
That's one mother I like to ask.
You've got karma.
I met them.
I met them at the...
Oh yeah, is Kristen smoking hot?
Absolutely smoking hot.
She's emailed a picture of Kristen with Adam at the Hot Pockets 2008 stop in Illinois.
I don't have a copy.
How come he didn't send it to me?
I think I look smoking hot in the picture, too, actually.
Please let Adam know that if he wants the Milwaukee makers to help finish his Tesla flying machines, just get us the plans.
I don't want to hear about it.
No, I just have to say, if you go to milwaukeymakerspace.org, these guys are very cool.
They have a machine shop, and they make the most awesome things.
You have to really look at this website...
Where are they located?
Milwaukee?
Yes, they drove from Milwaukee to the Illinois meetup.
And I had a nice chat with them and I said, look, if you guys will build the Tesla anti-gravitational device, I'll fly it.
That was the deal.
Yeah, but it's probably not going to be a dangerous flight since it won't get off the ground.
Well, you say that, but you watch, it's guys like this who will build it.
And I'll show up with my crash helmet and I will fly it.
Yeah, well, he tapes it.
Anyway, he thanks us for the work we do.
He's greatly appreciated, and he has ring size 11.
Han Schneider, which is, we think we had some problems getting the spreadsheet today, so I don't know where he's from.
It says, it's just a bunch of symbols.
I don't know where he's from.
Oh, it's in Cologne.
Yeah, in Cologne.
Gitmo Nation, Deutschland.
Yeah, Deutschland.
$274.51, associate executive producer.
The first time donor, but he says he's from München, Munich.
Gitmo, Munich to you.
Gitmo Nation, douche land here.
He's from douche land.
Douche land.
That's good.
Love the show, which keeps me on my toes in media BS as well as on Cracked Pottery.
Donate 27451, which is the yearly amount I would be legally obliged to pay for our state-controlled television stations here in Douche Land.
But I don't!
Yay!
I thought I'd donate some money now before the Euros...
Hello!
Hello, Herr Schneider!
We're coming here for your donation to the state media.
Where is your money?
Herr Schneider thanks us.
Thank you.
Dr.
Neninger's Natural...
Let me spread this out a little bit.
What is it?
I forgot what...
Natural Medicine.
Dr.
Neninger's Natural Medicine.
He's a patron.
He comes back a lot to support the show.
He comes back a lot.
Port Jefferson, New York, 2222222.
Please keep it simple.
I'm really starting to believe that your paradigm will prevail in podcasting.
I was a big twit listener.
I even own a big brick.
But got pushed over the edge when Leo started advertising diamonds.
I've never heard this.
I've never heard the diamonds.
I don't think he's doing that anymore.
I listen to podcasts to avoid commercials in the interest of value for value.
I'm working on a knighthood this year.
Can you have BK Jr.?
Burger King Jr.
Put out his abacus and let me know how close I am.
We can do that.
I think the donation is four or five or four or five something.
P.S. Please tell your listeners it's much easier to actually...
And actually fun to listen to the donation section when you donate.
We want to remind people that it is fun.
You get your name mentioned.
We talk about you.
We say things and...
Yeah, we douche people for you.
We do have a plug for Dr.
Neninger's Natural Medicine.
And finally, this is a wild one.
Oh, I know who this is.
Moise Khan in Pakistan?
This is our Pakistani producer who went to try and visit the Osama Bin Laden compound.
Oh, right, right, right.
I have an update from him.
Okay, you get the update.
Let me just give him his credit for $200.
He got passed.
He got past Pakistan's lame internet and power issues and finally got into the system.
So what's his update?
How did he do?
Okay, let's see.
Abbottabad, small city, about 200,000 residents.
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get very close to OBL's compound.
It's under tight military security, Pakistani security.
There are checkpoints all around the area.
I did, however, check in on Foursquare.
When...
How cool is that?
I checked in at Osama Bin Laden's compound.
I hope so.
Let's hope I don't get a free vacation to Gitmo on my return to Canada.
And then he says, because he actually took a look at it.
Hold on, let me just, it's a very long note.
I did put it in the show notes at 373.nashownotes.com so you can check it out.
My cousin mentioned after the OBL incident, people were saying the Pakistani military police were going door-to-door the night of the incident, telling people to shut their lights off prior to the termination of OBL. Not sure what it means.
Possible collusion, he thinks, with the military.
My uncle mentioned that the stealth helicopter was examined by the Chinese before handed to anyone else as well.
And he said, well, what he does say here is basically the place is a dump.
He says it's a crappy dump.
He says my uncle lives in a nicer house than that place.
He says it's a dump.
He says, I can't believe that anyone was living there at all.
It's a big, crappy dump.
Anyway, he's going to keep the updates coming.
It's fun.
That's interesting, you know, because we had some suspicions about the collusion that took place because there wasn't enough of a fuss made about the entry into Pakistan airspace.
And, yeah, the military, yeah, turn off your lights so this one place is, you know...
We need that kind of help to even find the place.
That's great.
Exactly.
Turn off your lights so the target is easy.
So they can find the place.
Yeah, it's dark, so we need a light.
Oh, there it is.
With all their stealth radar super technology.
They couldn't find it in the dark.
And I'll tell you, by the way, it's hard when you're flying helicopters, which I do.
It's hard to find something during the day.
You'd be amazed how complicated it is to find a spot, even like a well-marked landing spot.
It's tough sometimes.
Anyway.
Thank you very much, Moise.
That's very cool.
Yeah, we want to thank everybody.
That was it.
Even if associate executive producers, remind them to go to Dvorak.org slash N-A channel, Dvorak.com slash N-A, NoAgendaNation.com, and NoAgendaShow.com.
You can find a donation button on both those sites if you can't get to the main site.
Dvorak.org slash N-A. And then someone sent me this.
Why?
Because donating is nuts.
The love part didn't come out too good.
No, no, no.
We need some better jingles for the donating.
Mickey is way into this.
Donating is love?
Yeah, she says you guys just aren't doing it right.
What did she say to do?
She says, why don't you say thank you for the love?
Oh, we could do that too.
I think we should try that.
Hey, at this point, I'll try anything.
So, well, you're a trying guy.
Thank you for the love.
Anyway, we have no PR associates today, so the only other thing I'd like to do is just remind everybody there is one thing you can do is go out and propagate our formula.
Our formula is this.
We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
New.
World. Order.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Shut up, slave.
Yeah.
.
you you Hey, I read the bills.
You read the bills?
I have some questions.
You want to talk about SOPA, Protect IP for a second?
Go for it.
So I read these two bills, as I promised.
The Stop Online Piracy Act and the Protect Intellectual Property Act.
Right.
House and Senate, respectively.
Right.
And because you asserted on the previous show, according to your insider, some lobbyists you speak to, who, by the way, don't lobbyists have a lot of money?
Shouldn't they be donating?
That's a good point.
Yeah, thank you.
That these are basically identical, and you asserted that the whole idea is to focus on SOPA, get that thrown out, and then the people will pass.
Right.
So you are correct in a couple of things.
First of all, PIPA is word for word the same as 70, I calculate 75% of SOPA. Word for word.
It is exactly the same language.
And what this language entails, and here's where I have a couple questions, is the, it's not actually, and this is why I don't understand it, It's not actually saying here's the law.
It's saying here's the law over here that we wrote many, many years ago, including the Lanham Act, which was started in 1946.
This is about customers being potentially confused.
So as an example, when I registered MTV.com and left MTV, MTV sued me under the Lanham Act saying that it could be deemed as confusing Forget the fact that MTV had given it to me and said, go ahead, we want the AOL keyword.
We think that's much more exciting.
Ah!
I had it in writing, too.
It doesn't matter.
You have it in writing.
It could be deemed confusing to consumers.
And the lawsuit between MTV Networks and Mr.
Curry's missed it off court, neither party has any further comment.
So it's not about that.
And then it goes into other law about intellectual property theft.
It literally refers to existing law.
So it doesn't say anything about you can't do this, you can't do that.
What both of these acts are about is about the punishment for breaking those laws.
And this is what I don't understand.
Because I don't know if that then comes into statutory law category.
And I've been trying to look it up, but I figured I'd ask our resident law scholar about this.
So, in both acts, the identical piece, the penalty for breaking these laws that have been on the books for a long, long time is basically removing you from the DNS system.
Forbidding online payment systems to work with you and forbidding advertising companies to advertise with you and forbidding search engines to display links to you.
So these are punitive measures.
These are penalties.
This is not actual law.
Then on the SOPA side, the stuff that is not in Protect IP goes into fake medicine, fake military parts, etc.
And they have one little addition, which is Streaming.
But there, again, it's all about the penalties, which are quite stiff, by the way.
We're talking $2 million fines, $5 million fines, 30 years in jail.
The thing that I don't understand is this is not about saying what you can and can't do.
This is not about a rule.
This is about the sanctions that are put on you if you break the rule.
I don't understand.
Isn't that the job of the judicial system?
Well, laws can have, yeah, well, eventually the judicial system will say this is bogus and they can throw the whole thing out.
But the laws can often and mostly have enforcement information written within the law as guidance and also penalty information written in the law as guidance.
Well, this is not guidance.
This is actual, like, here's what happens if you break it.
But again, the law says nothing about...
Literally, it does not say you can't do this or that.
It says, if you break these laws over here, and it points to...
That's interesting.
Well-established documents.
You know, the Lanham Act was, as I said, 1946.
It does keep getting updated.
So it's well-established.
All of this stuff, you know, copy...
It's funny, at one point it even speaks about you can't have tags or badges that represent a brand if they're fake.
So you can't traffic in those.
So if I have like a bunch...
If I have like a pocket full of We're good to go.
So in other words, if I take my, what about if you take a, you have an Armani suit and you take and you unsew the little tag inside that says Armani and put it on another suit.
If I was carrying that tag...
Oh, no, that would be totally punishable by law.
You can't do that.
But it's more about the trafficking in it.
So if you do that as an individual, it's not a big deal.
So I find that just interesting because the whole discussion is really about what should the penalties be.
And by the way, everything I read online...
Tells me that most people have not actually taken the time to read the legislation, to read what it's about.
They really haven't taken that time.
Really?
Let me write this down as a shocking observation of the day.
Shocking moment, yes.
Because people are like, SOPA's wrong, man!
Well, you know, SOPA really isn't wrong because you shouldn't be stealing stuff.
And you shouldn't be falsifying stuff, and you shouldn't be selling fake medicine.
I mean, I agree with all that.
But this is about the penalty, and essentially, of course, what's wrong about this is, well, since we can't go catch you under these existing laws, since we can't find you, or it's just too much hassle, essentially...
The second part is the accurate...
This is another example of law enforcement hoping...
That through some other mechanism, someone else can do their job for them.
I remember talking to one of the FBI guys back in the mid-90s when I had this radio talk show.
And they were talking about these chips they wanted to put in televisions and all this other stuff.
And also about monitoring all online communication.
Oh, just as an aside before I forget, in the SOPA Act, which leads to all these other acts, I came across this interesting language that you are not allowed to traffic in VHS recorders that do not have copy protection built in.
Ooh.
So you cannot buy, sell, or trade.
It specifically says VHS. But that must have not been already in the law then.
No, this is new.
It's added to the Lanham, but it's added to the Lanham Act.
Huh.
I'm sorry, the Copyright Act.
I'm sorry.
Not the Lanham Act.
DMCA? No, it's a different one.
But it's like intellectual property.
You know, back in the day when they had like, you know...
That's a bogus law.
No wonder the Consumer Electronics Association's worked up.
Yeah, no.
They said you're not allowed to buy or sell VHS recorders that can record without the...
I think they call it the...
Slag or whatever.
No, it's not the flag.
It's like the...
Country code.
No, it's the...
Oh, whatever it's called.
It was interesting, though.
I'll look it up.
It was something about...
It was an interesting term.
I'll look it up for you.
Anyway, go ahead.
You were talking about your FBI guys.
I lost my train of thought.
Okay.
Thanks for interrupting me.
Sorry.
The FBI guy who...
Okay, so the FBI guy's moaning and groaning, and I said, wait, you can do this if you put some effort into your law enforcement.
It's obvious that law enforcement people would love...
Nothing better than to sit at the donut shop doing – no offense to you police out there – to sit at the donut shop doing nothing and letting something else, some machine or some – find some other way to catch these criminals.
It's too much work to actually go through the rigmarole of actually doing research, investigating, being in the field.
It's not exciting.
It's not exciting.
We want to – Like, teach guys how to make bombs and then, you know, string them along for months and then pop it open like we've got a terrorist.
That's much more exciting.
Who the hell wants to deal with this crap?
Yeah, who the hell wants to actually catch criminals the old-fashioned way?
They don't want to do it.
It's too much work.
So the idea is that they remove your entries from the DNS system, which, of course, technically, not only is it a dumb idea, a bad idea, but it's also easily circumvented.
We'll just create a new DNS. And we have our own no-agenda DNS. But it says they'll remove it from the non-authoritative server, so essentially they just poison the DNS, which is kind of like introducing a virus into the Internet, which is a bad idea.
This other stuff, though, and this is where it gets kind of interesting when you have Reddit.
By the way, Reddit is owned by a huge publishing company.
They're owned by, who does all those magazines in New York, John?
There's a lot of companies.
No, no, you know the publisher, The Woman.
They do?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll look it up.
Reddit owned by, hold on, it's owned by Conde Nast.
Oh, well that means that's future media.
Okay.
I'm sorry, advanced publications.
Advanced publications.
And they're not as aggressively interesting as...
No, so they're going to go dark on the 18th, and the reason why they're doing that...
So what?
Exactly.
The reason why they're doing that is because Daryl Issa...
We'll have an oversight hearing on, as they say from their own website, DNS and search engine blocking.
And speaking at this hearing, which will be fun to watch, will be, let's see, Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of Reddit.
And so they're going to stream that live, which to me is just all they're doing is PR. It's a PR move for themselves.
And they'll have a guy from Rackspace and then a couple of other douchebags.
But this whole, you know, the meme keeps propagating about, well, you know, Facebook and Google and Amazon, they should go dark.
They should go, we'll show them, we'll show them the internet, we'll die overnight if they turned off!
No, it wouldn't.
It wouldn't.
Newsflash.
Newsflash.
It would not.
Yeah, get a clue.
Boneheads.
That'd be great if Facebook went dark and stayed that way.
Stayed that way.
These guys are all in on the game, and they all love it.
They love it.
They absolutely love it.
And the only way to do it is to vote people out and fire them.
Alright, well let's take a look at this possibly being a double switch, a double double cross.
Okay, now you've got my attention.
So we have SOPA's a scam, it's just a smokescreen for the other one, which is PIPA. Which means DNS, advertising, payments, and search engine.
Those are the four things that will be punished.
Plus a few additional little items like the recording.
No, no, no, that's in SOPA. Okay, well they'll fix that eventually.
So, what if this is like, let's make it more complicated.
It's unlikely to be this complicated, but let's make it so.
We got an hour to kill, why not?
The first one is a smokescreen for PIPA, but PIPA is a smokescreen for OPEN, the OPEN Act.
Which goes right back to Daryl Issa.
He's promoting this.
You haven't read that yet.
No, no.
Are you giving me homework, Teach?
That's what it sounds like.
Okay.
The open act is flawed but still better than SOPA, says Ford.
Oh, thanks, John.
So now I have to...
This is his bill.
Yeah.
Oh, OK.
And the lobbyists in Washington are all there is.
Here's what they're thinking.
I'm just going to be kind of channel one of these lobbyists.
And it's like, oh, this is terrible.
This soap thing is going to kill us.
We got it.
You know, I know what they're doing, too.
They're going to take this.
They're going to take soap and it's a smokescreen for Pippa.
And then Pippa, they got to get rid of it.
I know what we're going to do.
But, you know, Daryl Issa, he hasn't got anything perfect, but he's got something called the open act.
Maybe that would be OK.
And they're going to, like, be so worn out by these other two things that the open act, which may be more onerous for all we know, because all I know is that it's better.
I will be able to.
Says who?
I will know on Sunday.
I'll have read.
On Sunday we'll know.
I'll read the open act.
This is what I do so you don't have to.
Even you don't have to, John.
I know, and boy, you can believe that I am so appreciative.
I know you are.
Yes.
I can't stand these things.
After the show, John goes...
You have to be kind of a...
You have to be like Ron Paul Nutty.
Yeah, exactly.
I put on my little tinfoil hat and I read bills.
Tinfoil hat and start reading.
And you know what?
It doesn't get me laid a lot.
Yeah.
You know, if you've got a stylish tinfoil hat...
No, I'm saying read in these acts.
Oh, yeah, well, that's right.
Nikki's like, are you coming to bed?
You know, she's like walking around in sexy clothes, and she's like, negligee.
I'm like, hey, honey, you coming to bed?
Hold on a second, honey.
I just have to cross-reference U.S. Act 374, Article 5B, too.
I'll be right there.
And the funny thing is that nowadays we have the opportunity to really fine-tooth comb these acts because all the references are online.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Because they put all kinds of weird stuff in these bills.
You know, like the one where now you can have sex in the military with animals.
I mean, how does that even get in there?
No.
Well, that brings us to another topic, something else I've been looking up, because there's a term that I want to introduce, and let me just see if I can find this term.
Paraphilius.
Paraphilius?
Paraphilius.
P-A-R-A-philias or P-A-R? P-A-R-A-philias.
P-H-I-L-I-A-S. Paraphilias.
And this is the act of urinating on people.
Oh.
Well, I guess which brings up a news topic.
A nothing to see here moment.
Oh, hold on.
Let me see.
Don't look over here.
Nothing to see here.
Oh, look at that.
And I put it on the blog.
For people out there, we'll get to it in a second.
We'll tell you what it is.
Apparently, four Marines not only took a leak on a bunch of dead Taliban, but for some reason, that just always baffles me, videotaped it and someone posted it on YouTube.
So, there was another news story which didn't get as much play.
A Western Pennsylvania woman Claims state troopers pepper sprayed her and later urinated on her while she was shackled hand and foot.
And so there is a disease going on.
What the hell's going on?
Paraphilius.
This is a disease.
And, you know, most sexual frustrations come from enormous psychological stress.
Because there is no other logical explanation for this type of behavior.
And I think we're going to see more and more people in authority, people in high positions, and low, but positions of authority, resorting to this behavior because they know that they are so out of control in what they're doing and what they're actually told and expected to do.
And the only way they can let go of this frustration is to pee on somebody.
And there's an actual term for it, paraphilius.
Well, paraphilia is actually a more broad-based term.
It's one element of the symbol.
Hold on, hold on.
Paraphilia, not otherwise specified, is exactly what I'm speaking about.
That is the category, which covers paraphilias not falling into the already-named diagnosis, such as those involving dead people, urine, feces, enemas, and obscene phone calls.
Also vomit, asphyxia, murder?
Yep.
There's a whole bunch of it.
This list under paraphilias, plural, in Wikipedia is frightening.
But it says the article's list of paraphilias, paraphilia being a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to object situations or individuals that are not part of the normative stimulations.
Now, there is a difference between people who just get off on being peed on and peeing on people, but if you really read the documentation, and I went a little further than the wiki page, if you don't mind, that's where you come into the paraphilia not otherwise specified, which is a diagnosed psychological disorder, and this stems from people being under severe psychological duress.
It's all in the show notes, 373.nashownotes.com.
When would psychological duress are under in Pennsylvania, not to mention Penn State?
Enough said, perhaps.
Yeah, but there's...
Cops in general, I think, are under huge psychological duress.
So I think we're going to see a lot.
This is a meme.
We're going to see a lot more of this.
This whole Marines thing, I'm not even convinced they're Marines.
I'm thinking that it's probably contractors and this may be a hit job on one of the contract outfits that someone's going to get exposed and they'll lose their contracts.
There is still no definite judgment that these were U.S. Marines.
Well, they can easily look into it because on the original posting, it was specific Scout Sniper Team 4 with the 3rd Battalion, 2nd Marines out of Camp Lejeune.
I think that would be kind of a right start.
Okay.
Interesting.
But we'll see.
We'll see how it gets spun.
But...
The whole thing is disturbing.
And I think it is a part of paraphilius.
There's something really weird going on.
Yeah, well, that's because the whole country is...
The country's psychological makeup is not to be Sparta.
Throw him to the lions, I say.
I mean, we have, like, the education system's in the tank.
We're educating more foreign nationals than we're educating our own citizens because, you know, you can make more money off of them.
We've become a...
I mean, capitalism run amok in many ways in that regard.
Uh...
It's the moral...
I mean, we have all these Christian...
We have Tim Tebow who has to thank Jesus every two seconds, and it's like, why?
I mean, whatever the football player has been like that, and everyone loves the guy.
I mean, there's a bunch of...
There's the whole society, the whole culture seems to be completely screwed up.
There's something going on in Austin, right here in my backyard, which I had to find out about through the British press, so I have to look into it to see if it's actually true, but I guess it is.
In Austin, Texas, they have cops patrolling the schools.
Oh, yeah.
In fact, in 2010, according to this report, police gave close to 300,000 Class C misdemeanor tickets to children as young as six for offenses in and out of school resulting in fines, community service, and even in some cases prison time.
And this is for like being...
Throwing a spitball.
Yeah, being late, throwing a spitball, possessing cigarettes, wearing inappropriate clothing, whatever that means.
It's like, and they have cops.
I've got to look into this.
This is actually a breaking story.
I think it's already come over here, that story, and it's all over the place.
I've been reading about it.
And it's like, what?
I think it broke in The Guardian or something.
Yeah, The Guardian.
But now it's like everywhere.
But I've never heard of that.
And it seems so contra...
I know people that are in Texas.
Texas is one of the big promoters of loading the kids up on Ritalin.
Yeah, well, I think it's all Perry.
I think Perry is the one that has put all this stuff in place.
It could be.
He looks like a Nazi.
He does.
He acts like one, too.
Right.
There we did it.
End of show.
Just say Hitler and we're done.
I'm resisting.
You already did.
You just said it.
Oh, boy.
I brought him up.
I brought him up.
I'm sorry.
No, everyone I talk to here hates Perry.
They just hate him.
Why did they vote him in then?
How about that?
I'm talking about Austin, not Texas.
No, most of Texas hates him.
I don't know that.
I live in Austin, so I don't know if most of Texas hates him.
Just like France and Paris, the Austinians are totally alien to everybody else.
Yeah, that's quite possibly true.
Anyway, that's just disturbing.
I'm looking into that.
I want to get more.
I know lots of people here who have kids and I want to find out if this is really happening in their schools and why they're standing for it.
Why do they take it?
Speaking of Gitmo, I'm very disappointed.
I mean, I'm really, really, really hurt.
By this privacy compliance review issued by Department of Homeland Security.
Yeah.
They have a list of popular websites they monitor.
We're not on the list.
They're not monitoring.
They listen.
They don't monitor.
Wow.
We must have some TSA people listening to the show.
Yeah.
Well, okay.
Here's one for you TSA people.
So blogger Bob...
I love reading the TSA blog because...
Oh, that blogger Bob is the...
He's like Baghdad Bob.
He's full of crap.
He posts something and then you get like a hundred comments of people saying you're an a-hole and they just leave it there.
It's very entertaining.
I know.
You'd think that they'd have enough moxie to monitor or moderate is the word.
Their own website.
No, I think it's very smart because they can say, hey, we're transparent.
We let everyone comment.
We don't care, but we let everyone comment.
So you have the top ten good catches of 2011.
Oh, please.
Let's see.
These are the guys they caught at the border or getting on an airplane?
No, that's the whole interesting thing.
There's no terrorists they caught, but they caught snakes, turtles, birds.
You're not even supposed to be looking for that stuff.
Are you kidding me?
Let's see.
Stun gun disguised as a smartphone.
A flare gun.
Two throwing knives.
A loaded.38 caliber pistol.
Small chunks of C4 explosives.
Bullcrap.
But nowhere do they have terrorists.
Where's the terrorists that the TSA caught?
Where's the actual terrorists?
Well, that one TSA said there was three a day at his spot.
There should be thousands of them.
Actual terrorists.
Where are the thousands of terrorists that they're catching every day?
I'm sure they're there, John.
Yeah, and then they've got to expand, too.
Our actress Tonya here over in the Bay Area says she's spotted TSA now nosing around and hanging around the BART stations.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, well, we know that there's a directive that trains, including subways, it's all very, very...
Yeah, you'll be walking through these things and monitors and scanners.
Naked body scanners.
Hold on a second.
Here we go.
And now, back to real news.
I just got a hotline from the program director.
We have to do some real news.
You ready?
Yeah, go for it.
You've been to Gitmo Nation Lowlands.
Yeah.
Have you ever been to the wooden shoemaking factory?
No, I haven't.
I don't think.
Because I'd like to go to those kinds of things.
I'm surprised.
I'm surprised because this is a famous landmark.
I think I've been to the town.
Well, if you were in the town, they have a shoe.
A 13-foot giant wooden shoe.
I didn't see the 13-foot shoe.
And all tourists go to this place, watch some stupid wooden shoes being made.
Of course, they buy $50 pair of shoes.
But they all get there.
Just Google it.
Giant wooden shoe Holland and look at the pictures.
And everyone puts their kids in the shoe and like, Oh, that's so cool.
I'm in the shoe.
This thing weighs two tons, but someone stole it.
What?
Someone stole the giant Dutch wooden shoe.
And then it gets better.
They received an email.
And someone said, we'll return it back to you after Carnival in mid-February.
And police failed to trace the email.
Really?
Really?
If they can't even find the guy who stole the wooden shoe, the giant wooden shoe, do you see this thing?
The shoes, yeah, but it's not that big.
It's the size of a small boat.
Yeah, but it's a giant shoe.
It's 13 feet.
It's huge.
Yeah.
I was thinking it would be more like, you know, 130 feet, some really big thing.
Shows you how dumb tourists are, because they go to this place and...
Yeah, and if you go to the giant wooden shoe hauling and you click on images on Google, on the Google, you see nothing but pictures of people sitting in the shoe like they were on a sled.
And it's picture after picture because I guess everybody who goes there takes a picture of somebody in the shoe.
Detective Dvorak, I think we should follow the footprints.
That will lead us to the perpetrator.
And then the headline of the day from WTVR, and then I'll get off my real news.
I just love this headline.
Man dies eating cocaine.
Man dies after eating ounce of cocaine out of brother's butt.
Oh, jeez.
What did you bring that story up for?
Because there's video of it.
It's disgusting.
Because there's video of it.
These guys got busted in the back of the cop car.
Oh, can you imagine what they were going on?
And the brother says, hey, man, you got to eat the cocaine out of my booty.
And his brother dies, by the way, because he ate an ounce of cocaine, which is not a good idea.
He died.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes our Real News segment.
And now, back to Real News.
Oh, boy.
Hey, Redbook, Redbook, Redbook.
Okay, hang on a second.
I'm saving some photos from this.
I feel a Dvorak.org slash blog posting coming on.
Okay, Redbook.
Do you have an entry in the Redbook regarding the 500-euro notes?
I think that predates the Redbook.
No, it does not.
No, because I remember quite distinctly.
So do you have any idea of the date that this prediction was made?
What were you saying?
Where's the other Redbook?
What the heck happened to it?
Wait a minute.
Don't tell me you've lost the Redbook.
This is the old Redbook.
I'm on a new Redbook.
What the point is having a red book if you don't have it near you?
It is near me.
I'm holding it in my hand right now.
It was underneath some papers.
I think I can have it here.
Let me see if I can find the...
I date the entry.
Give me a month.
Any month.
December, I think.
December?
Just this last December?
I believe so, yeah.
I don't remember writing it down then.
I'm looking at the show notes right now to see if I can find it.
Pulling missiles.
Pulling missiles.
I don't know what the hell that was.
Missiles?
EMP on Iran, that's one of your predictions.
Ron Paul would do third party.
Okay, listen.
Here's what I was talking about.
I predicted that they would pull 500 euro notes out of circulation to be able to put that trillions of euros back onto the balance sheet by saying 500 euro bills are no longer valid because they're only used by criminals.
Yeah, you did discuss this, but I don't remember it being an overt prediction.
I don't know that I have it.
Okay.
Well, this news report...
I'm looking, I'm looking.
This news report popped up on the BBC just yesterday.
500 euros are the favoured bank notes of criminals.
In one cigarette packet, you can hide 20,000 euros in one go.
Unbelievable!
The illegal cash disappears from view.
And once it's concealed, it's smuggled abroad.
So, if you Google 500 euros criminals, this is now being pushed all over the news, all over Euroland, and it's going to happen.
They're going to just say, 500 euro notes, no longer valid.
And they get to transfer all of that cash back onto the balance sheet, and it's a lot of money.
I think it was 800 billion euros or something.
Oh, no.
This is a bookkeeping.
To assume that this sort of bookkeeping trickery is going to be done, I'm a little skeptical.
For one thing, if they made them illegal, there would be some old ladies that have them, and they're going to have to be able to go to the bank and turn them in.
And they're assuming that the criminals aren't going to do that?
Is that what you're saying?
Here's the BBC report.
Let me see.
I saw the word...
Hold on a second.
Banning...
Will banning the sale of 500 note in the UK do any good?
They're just bringing it up.
They're bringing it up.
This is a real movement.
This is a real movement.
After eight months of rigorous analysis of currency trading in the UK, the serious organized crime agency, who are more serious than the regular organized crime agency, have established the 500 euro note is at the heart of money laundering.
Oh, brother.
I'm trying to think.
I'll put it in the show notes.
Somewhere there is a movement who actually are advocating this.
Say, hey, this is how we shore up our balance sheet is to just ban.
No one has 500 euro notes.
Just look at it.
Look at all the links for 500 euro note ban.
Okay.
Tons of notes.
You watch.
It's coming.
It's coming right now.
I was just amazed that it came so fast after we talked about it.
I thought I'd put it in the red book, but I could be wrong.
I don't have it.
All right.
Your go.
I have to bring up the page back.
Sorry.
You're eating, aren't you?
No.
So, uh...
Is that a good product?
It's a grapefruit.
Oh man, I had a grapefruit this morning.
Why do you eat grapefruits?
I like to eat grapefruits during the show because it keeps me sour.
We have a grapefruit every single morning.
It'll keep the cancer away.
It's very good for you.
Alright, let's see what we've got here that's kind of interesting.
I've decided maybe we should have a new segment on the show.
I want people to react and tell us whether we should do it or not.
I'm not sure if you like it, but I'm thinking news from China because we're trying to be more international.
So I think we should play News from China.
Have a clip.
Okay.
Let me just grab your news from China.福特��車在今天��布��回45萬��七人車及SUV����受理,受影��的包括040年出��的FreeStar和Mercury,Montre
7人車還有0102年的Escape SUV。福特表示SUV的��車熱壓系統可能會��油而導����近的電線�����,可能會引起無��及起火。福特呼��車主在更換��件之前,最好張家��車… I can't believe sale of SUVs is doing so well.
It was about the recall.
So I... You already think we should do a...
Should we do a Chinese news thing?
Yes, I think that's a very good idea, so we can appeal to a broader audience.
But it has to be news from China.
Not China, China.
News from China.
So let's do a practice.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for news from China.
I think it would work.
I think it's a good idea.
It might.
Now, I've had a pet peeve about this for some time because people always, oh, you should have the English language should be the official language of the country and all the rest.
I think that's even less important than what I have to say.
Which is all, anything that goes over the public airways, not cable, but the public airways should have, if it's not in English, should by law have subtitles.
I don't think, who knows what these people are saying.
Not the Chinese so much.
There's a lot of Chinese around here that can tell you.
The Chiners.
But the point is that sometimes they're speaking Thai or some dialect of Cambodian, and it's just like, I would like to know what they're talking about.
Well, I think that's a fine idea.
I think so.
And you will speak to the FCC about enforcing this?
I'm going to start a movement.
Tell me what this guy's saying.
He said you're a butthead, I think.
To date, I have not seen one single person On a news media anywhere who can actually tell me what John Huntsman said.
He said it when he made that comment.
No, he didn't.
Yeah, he did.
He said something like, this is interesting times we live in or something like that.
It was some crazy little Chinese saying.
We have Chinese speakers out there.
They can tell us.
Send us a note.
Send us an email.
JohnDivorek.org and we'll put it on the show.
I'm surprised.
I'm surprised we haven't...
Yeah, now that you mention it, it's kind of weird that you'd have this guy speaking Chinese up there, and they're like, well, there you go.
Maybe he's just mum, grumbling.
You know, it's like no, nothing.
Hey, what's going on with my thing here?
Oh, boy.
Well, talking about that, I got a Ron Paul clip, not to go backwards, but Ron Paul event cutoff.
This is a classic Ron Paul event cutoff.
This is what you get from Ron Paul.
I really don't have to introduce my wife.
I think you know my wife, Carol.
And we have a few other members of the family here.
We have a daughter-in-law, Peggy, and we have Lisa, Linda.
With apologies, we have lost our signal from the Ron Paul event, and we will work very hard to get that back.
What was this?
That was on C-SPAN! And they were streaming over some Verizon connection, because the Verizon logo comes up as a...
How is it possible that Leo Laporte can be streaming live from CES 24-7, yet C-SPAN can't seem to get a Ron Paul event streamed live?
Yeah, they had to cut to Huntsman.
How is this even...
Oh, really?
How coincidental.
We had to cut to Huntsman.
John Henchman.
That's his new name.
John Henchman.
Really?
Yeah, it's unbelievable.
Hey, I read a book for us.
Oh, okay.
Well, do that.
Now I should mention Huntsman.
I do have a little rant about you.
Go ahead on Hunchman.
Hunchman.
His name is Hunchman from now on.
I've concluded, by the way, if you see him and his Stanford wife, oh my God.
Yeah.
And this guy is so insincere.
I have three little clips, and one of them just really earmarks his unbelievable insincerity.
Because I was actually mocking this...
He says, I'll be darned.
I mean, he has no emotion.
The guy is the dead fish.
Play to start with, I'll be darned.
And I'll be darned if we're going to allow the men and women to come from the theaters of combat, the front lines to the unemployment lines.
That's not going to happen.
Yeah.
Those men and women who have worn the uniform of the United States of America in the theater of combat are going to come home to dignity and respect and to admiration.
And they're going to come home to jobs and opportunity as well.
And free ponies!
Unbelievable.
I mean, how is he going to do all this?
The guy's totally emotional.
And by the way, this was his concession speech.
They had confetti.
Like, he won the damn thing.
Good job!
Free ponies!
Free ponies!
Huntsman loves the state.
Another insincere kind.
When you hear the third little bit that I have here, J.C. Buzzkill Jr.
came up with the absolute explanation for this crazy talk that he has.
Play Huntsman Loves the State.
And they're going to do the same thing for this nation that the greatest generation did so many decades ago.
They rebuilt this nation.
They pulled this nation up by the bootstraps.
And there's another greatest generation coming up.
You know the people I'm talking about?
They're in your families.
They're in our neighborhoods.
We love them all.
And they're going to do what earlier generations did.
They're going to help us rebuild this nation.
They're going to help us make it the very best it possibly can be.
Ladies and gentlemen, I love this state.
Be all that you can be.
So, now I'm going to play part three, which is another short clip, but we're listening to this, and J.C. Buskill Jr.
says, he wrote one speech.
This is his victory speech.
He had no alternative speech, so he just went with this.
This state...
This date we have worked hard and diligently.
We have pounded the pavement.
We have shaken hands.
We have had conversations.
We have won people over person by person.
This is the old way to get politics done in New Hampshire.
And my confidence in the system is reborn because of the people in New Hampshire.
Because they just turn out at these town hall meetings, nobody forces them, nobody tells them they have to do it.
It's because they believe in a better tomorrow for the United States of America.
They believe in John Huntsman!
And they thank you!
Mic check!
Thank you very much.
And they turn out to the town hall meetings and they turn out to the house parties and they hear from the candidates and then they assimilate and they digest it all and then they render a judgment.
Yeah, the judgment is you came in third.
This guy's acting like he won the thing.
Here's John Henchman at home.
Honey, I know I gave you the best orgasm in the world.
I know, I know it's fantastic.
I could hear you moaning and groaning.
I did a great job.
It's unbelievable.
What a stooge!
Henchman.
John Henchman.
Hi, darling.
Thank you.
Yeah, I'd love some fresh coffee.
Thank you.
You look so hot.
Hey, thank you.
Oh, I have a question for you.
Can we have a production meeting?
Yeah, I'm ready.
So I need to travel to San Francisco.
There's a board meeting, a Mevio board meeting, where I help determine your future.
But check this out.
So they said, well, somewhere between the 16th and the And the 16th and the 19th.
And I said, well, could you please do it earlier?
Because, you know, we haven't had a real vacation.
You know, we're going to go visit my buddy who has the house in Bonaire, which is great because it's a short flight from Texas down south.
We can get cheap tickets, which I'd already booked.
Yeah, okay.
I don't need the details.
So they say, well, here's what we've done.
We've scheduled it as best as possible for everybody on Thursday at 9.30 a.m.
Thanks.
What, today?
No, next week.
Oh, but it's Thursday, and we're right there in the middle of the show.
Yeah, because they look at the schedule and say, let's see, Adam, Adam.
Oh, that's right.
At 9, he starts an agenda show, so let's schedule it for that time.
Yeah, let's do it for then.
Yeah.
Could we do the next week's show on Wednesday morning instead of Thursday?
Next week.
Can you do Wednesday?
Because I know you've got a lot of stuff going on.
Next week, I... Because otherwise it really screws stuff up.
No, actually, here's another one.
That's blocked because they have an all-hands meeting.
I know, an all-hands meeting.
I know, at 9.30.
And I also do the X3. We can do Wednesday night.
The thing I wanted to avoid is doing the show...
You'll be on a plane.
No, I wanted to avoid doing it from a hotel room, that's all.
Oh, how about...
We'll talk about it.
Okay, anyway, we'll talk about it.
Then we'll announce it on Sunday.
Anyway, sorry.
Okay.
Oh, so anyway, the book.
Can I talk about the book I read for everybody?
You read a book for everyone.
Okay.
Yeah, and I really hope I can get my $14.95 back from Amazon.
I read the book The Obamas.
Oh, yeah.
This is the book you promised to read.
I promised to read it for you, and it's been getting a lot of press.
Here's an example.
Apparently, Oprah's girlfriend, Gail, is now a great, important person.
I don't understand.
All of a sudden, because she has no skills.
She sucks.
She sucks at everything she does.
She has a radio show on Sirius.
It's like Oprah cheap.
It's like the off-brand Oprah.
It's dumb.
And she got to interview the Obamas, and it's all related to the PR for this book.
Who can write about how I feel?
What third person can tell me how I feel?
Or anybody, for that matter.
Here's what interests me about this.
First of all, there seems to be a nice chemistry there.
I mean, you've known this person for a long time.
Yeah, I think we should say it's no secret here at the table that we're friends.
Secondly, where was the big guy while you were doing this interview?
He was in the West Wing.
Believe me, I asked to see him.
He was unavailable.
He was unavailable.
Third, did she seem to you like she wanted to get some things off her chest?
I think, Charlie, that is such a great question because the answer is yes.
That's not a great question.
Oh!
That's not a great question!
Ah, you missed it.
It was Homer.
I've got to play Homer again, because I'm going to turn this into a whole jingle for you.
Great question.
That's not a great question!
A little more low-end.
So this Obama book is getting a lot of play, and I can tell you what this is.
Three pages into it, I'm like, oh, brother.
Oh, brother.
This thing is designed to make the Obamas real.
The way it's written, it reads kind of like a National Enquirer type of publication.
It really solidifies that Obama was born in Hawaii, that they're just normal folk.
It is to help us believe that they are not the reptilians that they actually are.
That they are not from outer space and that they cloak themselves in human skin.
It is completely, 100% utter bullshit.
It is the worst book I've ever read.
And what it's doing is, it's bringing into the consciousness of people that they're real people, they care about their kids, and His meteoric rise, you know, how hard worker he is.
It's just, it's sickening.
It is 100% sickening.
But the way they promote it is so slickly done.
And of course, this is the New York Times in collusion with the administration to publish this at this moment.
You know, So you get all these stories about, you know, she says she's not an angry black woman.
I mean, they're pulling the race card out.
It is part of a huge strategy that will unfold before our very eyes, and this is just the beginning, and it is sickening.
Do not, repeat, do not buy this book.
You will feel cheated.
As you apparently have felt.
Ugh, this is disgusting.
And then we have, just before, a day before the book came out, interestingly enough, we have Bill Daley finally calling it quits, as we pretty much predicted.
Yeah, pretty funny.
Now this shows how much disarray the administration is in.
This actually, I think, falls under the category of Shadow Puppet Theater.
Because who's stepping in, which is what we never talk about, is Jacob Liu.
Jacob Liu will be taking over as Chief of Staff.
Now, Chief of Staff is a pretty big job, right, John?
Yeah, it's essentially running the country.
So, yeah.
Who should we put in if we wanted to have someone running the country as Chief of Staff?
I don't know.
Tell me.
CIA guy?
No!
Let's put in someone who used to be Chief Operating Officer of Citigroup's Alternative Investment Unit.
And please make sure he's a member of the Council on Foreign Relations, the Brookings Institute.
So it's happening everywhere.
Not only in Euroland, but here as well.
Now we have a Bankster running our show.
Congratulations.
But the guy looks like a dweeb, which is kind of good.
Yeah, he's great.
How do you spell his name?
Lou, L-E-W. Which is great, because people are like, eh, he's just some dweeb.
What's his first name?
Jacob.
Jacob.
He's just some douchebag.
He's just some bookmark.
Oh, that guy.
But he's not.
He looks like a Hollywood agent.
Well, I think he looks a little dorkier than a Hollywood agent, personally.
But I think it's well done is what I'd say.
He graduated from Harvard, went to Georgetown Law, got his doctorate in law.
Public administration professor at New York University.
Has he ever had a real job?
Yeah, he's just like everybody else in the Obama administration.
He's never worked for a company.
It's just government work.
His whole background is government work.
He's a technocrat, is what you're saying.
Yeah, he's a technocrat.
There you go.
This is what's wrong with this whole organization.
Yeah, well, anyway.
We've bitched about it before.
One more thing I picked up.
Sorry?
I picked up something interesting that I've had on my list for three weeks now, and I keep forgetting to talk about it.
Okay.
This is from the government website for federal business opportunities.
You ready for it?
Yeah.
The Transportation Security Administration is issuing this sources sought notice.
Request for information to improve its understanding of the market capabilities and identify qualified vendors that are capable of providing radiation dosimetry devices to the TSA Office of Occupational Safety Health and Environment.
Interesting.
Why do you think that is?
Do you think that's because you get more radiation from snuggling against someone's butt than actually in the...
There you go, Mickey.
Let me get my dosimeter because that butt's pretty close to me.
Somebody wrote us a note, one of our producers, telling us that they took all the body scanners out of Hartsfield in Atlanta.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I think there was...
And this story that you're talking about followed that story that I... I mean, it's not a story nobody's reported on.
Why would we?
It's crazy.
Stupid.
And I think that there was a cancer cluster.
I remember seeing a report about a cancer cluster.
Anyway, so...
If there's a cancer cluster in Hartsfield with the biggest airport in the country, I might add, which has tons of those machines, they pull those machines out.
The next thing you know, they're putting dosimeters, selling dosimeters to the agency.
Mm-hmm.
Excuse me, can somebody put two and two together here?
Uh, one, two, three, yes!
I'm gonna show myself old by donating to No Agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
Yeah, on No Agenda.
It's in the morning.
And not a minute too soon since I will have the Ask Adam segment, a new one coming up in the second half of the show.
Justin Hilton, we want to thank him.
He's floating around somewheres in the morning from a drunk haiku Hilton in Gitmo Nation kimchi.
I guess he's in Japan.
Nuclear winter, truth like the warmest blanket, the greatest podcast.
Okay, that was garbage, but I'm drunk.
Thanks for all you do, and thanks to whomever put together the clip of We Can't Wait.
Yes, we can.
Yes, we can.
That was my suggestion from a few episodes ago.
I donated 133.33 for a podcast license.
3333 for a podcast license and $100 for a karma shout-out for you, Adam and John.
Here's hoping the donations keep coming in strong.
You deserve it.
Adios, mofos.
We've got karma.
There you go.
Good old Thomas Gardner, first-time donor.
Sorry, it's not really good old, but Wilmington, North Carolina.
Great place, by the way.
Donation in honor of our slave Benjamin's first birthday.
Born one year ago today.
Tom and Sarah.
No, he's worth about $8.7 million right now.
Tyler Brigham, as in Brigham Young.
San Luis Obispo.
California, in the morning, John and Adam, sending cash, not blankets or water because I've noticed a pattern of bad karma surrounding me.
Yikes!
First at work, a large batch of parts that we sent to the anodizer got scraped by the anodizer.
Oh, no!
What's an anodizer?
It's the thing that anodizes metal, puts that little coating.
You know, if you get a digital camera, you got the red ones and the blue ones and those different colors.
That's anodized.
That's what the color is.
No, it's paint.
Paint is what you're saying.
It's not paint.
It's anodized.
It's paint.
Less than a day ago.
He let paint to you.
Then a day later, I go out after work and my $3,000 camera rig gets hit by a nice wave at the beach scraping or scrapping.
Wow.
My Canon 5D Mark II. Oh, no.
That's like an awesome camera.
Yes.
Ugh.
It's like three grand.
And then on Monday, one of my girlfriend's chickens gets eaten by a raccoon.
What the...
So, I need to ask for some karma for my family, Scott, Susan, Courtney, Chris, and Courtney and Chris's finances, Ryan and Kristen, and for my girlfriend, Lindsay, to protect her animals.
Screw a double shot of karma and the douchebag.
Just double the karma.
How many chickens must die?
Yeah.
Stop killing the chickens!
Stop!
You've got karma.
That will be a double.
Andrew Gardner, which is no relation to Thomas Gardner, I don't believe, in Avenue, Maryland, $100 in the morning, sent Karma to a safe flight back to Gitmonason West on Friday, halfway to nighthood, give him a karma.
You've got karma.
By the way, Tyler's donation was $111.33.
Damien Tame in Perth, the place that I've always wanted to visit.
Perth, Western Australia.
John and Adam, I was feeling like a douchebag since I haven't donated for a while, and please give me a shot of karma.
Why do I need karma?
That's a great question.
That's not a great question.
Because Port Moresby, where I work, is considered to be one of the top ten most dangerous cities in the world.
So to avoid being shot, stabbed, carjacked, or extorted by the police, sounds like corruption, please give me a huge injection of karma.
Adios, mofos.
You've got Carmen.
Do you still want to visit Perth?
Well, now I don't.
Barry in Amsterdam, $99.99.
Apologize for not donating drunk.
Still at work.
I've been on a monthly subscription for two years now, but recent events forced me to up the ante on supporting the best podcast in the multiverse.
Just like Adam, my wife and I are moving down south in the very near future.
She's awaiting news of a transfer.
She asked her of her company to pull off me.
I had an interview for a dream job with a tech company last week.
The interview went well, but they left me hanging with a...
Since we're at CES next week, don't call us, we'll call you.
Please send over some karma to increase our chances of a successful job.
I hope three times the amount of 3333 will do.
99.99.
Also, after fighting multiple variations of cancer over 20 years.
Yuck.
Last Tuesday, my wife's grandma finally had to give in.
She passed away at 77, so close it off.
I'd like to call out cancer as a douchebag.
Keep up the amazing work.
Great hair.
Hope you guys win.
Barry from Amsterdam.
All right, Barry.
Well, here's some anti-cancer karma and some job karma.
Now, remember, when you ask for the karma, it can come in very strange ways.
You may actually not get that job, but you may get a better one.
That's how karma seems to work.
You've got karma.
Good luck there.
Yeah, CES, please.
Why aren't you at CES, you tech reporter, you?
I went there last year.
Don't you have to report on stuff?
There's over two reporters for each booth.
Yeah, but...
It's dumb to go to it.
But the babes...
Sir James...
And it's a good place to go if you want to, you know, just hang out at night and drink a lot of free, cheap booze.
Sir James Briscoe in Bayshore...
And besides that, I'd rather be doing research for our show.
Thank you.
James Briscoe, Bayshore, New York, in 98, 99.
Hi, Jen.
So incensed listening last year about your deconstruction, about workplace bullying of competent people, of which I am...
Personally witnessed.
I felt compelled to donate once again, but I was lacking funds due to fixing my uncle's house, which ended up coming to $7,500.
So here's my belated donation, $98.99, to complain about workplace bullying.
Please give some karma to the love of my life, Smita.
She richly deserves it more than I ever would, but please do not give the MILF designation.
As amusing as it may be, I know she wouldn't like it.
Nothing against you, Adam.
Well, now I feel like hurt.
All right.
I'll move on.
You've got karma.
I think every woman likes the MILF. I think every woman loves to be called a MILF. I disagree.
Ahmed Mian in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
Hey, John and Adam, please, dog.
Well, great.
Good job.
Don't mention my last name.
That's probably not his last name.
After listening to episode 372, I had to donate.
I always like it when you cover either Pakistan or...
We had a Pakistani that donated, which proves that the Pakistanis are more generous than the Indians.
Well, hold on, but he's Canadian.
He's just visiting Pakistan.
I know, but he's another Pakistani, obviously.
But currently residing in Cowtown.
Where is that?
Where's Cowtown?
That's Calgary.
They have the big roadie.
I've been to the Stampede, the Calgary Stampede.
You've been to the Stampede and I've never been to it.
I have a Calgary Stampede belt buckle.
It's supposed to be great.
You have not lived until you've seen the barrel run when these really cute cowgirls race ponies around barrels.
Yeah.
And they're hot.
These girls are like, they're super smoking hot.
And they're dressed up all cute and stuff.
Barrel racing, it's called.
Barrel racing.
And these ponies, like, wow.
It's just exciting, I have to say.
I don't like all the bull riding and stuff.
I don't like that.
But the girls doing the barrel run, oh, man.
Barrel racing.
Barrel racing.
They're smoking.
Okay.
Adam, I wanted to ask you if you can please talk about the grays.
I have been very curious about this.
Also, if you can give me some karma, that will be much appreciated.
Many bad things are going on in my life at the same rate of all human race.
In fact, at the same rate all human race can use some karma.
Here's to not being a boner anymore.
6666, keep up with the good work.
First of all, let me give you some karma, man.
It sounds like you need some.
You've got karma.
Now, the first rule about the greys is we don't talk about the greys.
There have not been a lot of reports about the Greys recently.
I think they gave up on us.
I have to be quite honest.
I think that some other...
Ever since Art Bell went off the air, the Greys have gone too.
I think you're right.
I think they've given up.
But there is definitely some other alien race occupying Earth.
I just don't know which one.
It's not the tall blondes.
I know that.
I think they've just gone underground.
All right.
Meanwhile, Oysten Burge in Jovik, Upland, Norway.
What do you think?
5962.
Love the show.
Give me a karma shot.
Smiley face from Norway.
You've got karma.
We'll talk about the Grays when they're cited.
Frank Davis in Florence, South Carolina, 55-60.
Drew Larson in Green Bay, Wisconsin, home of the Green Bay Packers, 55-55.
Bill Hutchinson in Calgary, another Calgarian.
There's two Calgarians today.
Well, they'll be really happy to hear us talking about their CBC today.
And people like it when we talk about their country and how messed up it is.
It feels good, I know, I'm telling you.
Every single time we do a story about Australia, the Australians come in.
Well, you know, the only people who don't really do it is the lowlands guys.
The Indians.
Well, Indians, we don't talk about India.
Well, for good reason.
Double nickels on the dime from Bill.
Donation for his 35th birthday.
We'll put that in there.
Always wanted to be a no agenda.
Minute man.
I had a full-time volunteer with a Christian NGO for 14 years, so I understand the challenge and bring in and support.
I've listened for ages, but my first donation is raising a family of five.
Wow.
Now we can get some information about East Timor with our organization within 12 months of independence when the UN was active there.
The UN waste was disgusting.
Floating in hotels for their staff while the people and our volunteer staff suffered with blackouts.
Burned out slash wrecked houses, potholes.
And more, while our organization drove a donated 15-year-old station wagon, the UN had a brand new 4x4 Toyota truck, or trucks.
Our organization had been working in Haiti since 1991, and for every $6,000 donated to the organization, a duplex house is built for two families.
All our staff are volunteers.
No one's paid.
Hearing about the waste and disgusting use of funds donated to Haiti, $2 million for a hotel.
What BS! Makes me seriously ill!
I try to work some of the points out that I gleaned from the No Agenda show into our NGOs podcast.
That's nice.
Well, we need to hear about some of the stuff that you learn while you're floating around.
That would be valuable.
So I'm going to take...
Hold on a second.
So $4 billion, that's 4, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, divided by 6,000.
1, 2, 3.
We should have been able to build 666,000 homes.
But strangely enough, there's still half a million people in tents and cholera-infested poop.
Funny how that works.
How many houses were built?
None.
Nice hotel, yeah.
Nice Marriott.
Chad Twiggs in Blackfoot, Idaho.
Double nickels on the dime.
Drunk Donair in Gitmo Nation.
Potato Capital.
Couldn't resist after I heard John C. Salmon.
Oh, I'm old school, man!
Yeah, the good job, by the way.
That was very funny.
You did it.
Glad not to be a boner anymore.
Looking for a de-douching and karma for a job hunt.
Give him a combo there.
You've been de-douched.
You've got karma.
Hey, by the way, Leo promised to get us on Coast to Coast.
Is that happening?
I'm working on it.
It's going to be one of those things that is going to take a couple of nudges.
Like that MacBook Air.
In Helsinki, $55.
Third time donor, not a boner.
I desperately need karma.
My three-year-old relationship ended.
I don't have a job currently.
I need desperately to find some coding gigs.
And since I don't have any income, I can drive as fast as I can in Finland.
That's funny.
Job karma.
You've got karma.
No, I got an email from someone about that.
We should remind people what he means by that reference.
Yeah, so apparently if you're speeding in Finland, the fine is calculated dependent upon your income.
And I heard that Linus Torvalds Has had like hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of fines because he's driving his race car up there, his sports car.
I didn't know Linus was that rich, by the way.
But yeah, it's crazy.
We learned this from Wunderhelm.
He got like a 600 euro fine for speeding, like 15 miles over the speed limit or something.
He said, how much do you make?
All right, slave, that'll be 600 grand, $600.
Euros.
Zlotties.
Whatever you use.
Whatever.
Zlotties.
John A. Thompson in West Lafayette, Indiana.
$50.
Hi, guys.
I'd like to call up my mother.
My mother.
Wait, I think you missed Joanne.
Joanne Thompson as a douchebag.
Oh, no.
Douchebag.
Since she hasn't donated since September, and a de-douching for me.
He needs a de-douching.
You've been de-douched.
I'm going to give him a combo because he also wants some karma for him and his fiancee, Rhonda Head.
We got engaged on New Year's and she's having a tough time at work now.
She's going back to school soon.
Any help she can get would...
By the way, this is going to go on forever for the next decade.
These people suffering.
Job karma.
We're going to be doing a lot of that.
Thank you guys for so much for everything you do.
You're a huge part of my life and have made me a better person since I started listening at the beginning.
Made him a better person.
Give him a karma.
Oh, that's so nice.
You've got karma.
I think you might want to add that he said, I love you guys.
He said, I love you.
You didn't read the love you part.
Love you guys.
Hey, did you miss George Scanlon?
I think you did.
Did I? Yeah, I think you did.
Yeah, George, okay, let's go a couple 50.
We had three $50 donations, George Scanlon, Carpentersville, Illinois, Kieran Burke in Framingham, Massachusetts, and Sir Mike Westerfield in Enderlin, North Dakota.
Also, Tamara Hunter in Austin, Texas, right down the street from you, says, for my boyfriend, Sam Winsier's douchebag.
For her boyfriend, Sam, what do you think, his Winsier's douchebag?
Yeah, Winsier.
Sam Winsier is a boyfriend of Tamara.
He's a douchebag, she says.
We don't know.
He's listened to the show since the start, never donated while always talking about you guys.
Also, karma for me to figure the relationship out.
Okay.
Give him the douchebag and then give her the karma.
Douchebag.
Douchebag.
And here's your karma, girl.
You've got karma.
We should meet up at Joe's and have a cup of coffee.
Go to Joe's.
And finally, Tristan Wilson-Kerrigan in Paddenberry in Western Australia.
$50.
I want to thank them and all the other people that donate.
Even lesser amounts.
We appreciate any donation for the No Agenda Show to keep us on the air.
Because it's the sincerest form of love.
So, donating is love.
No, it's just love.
It's not even a donate.
It's not like, here's an alm.
Here's a pittance, you poor people.
You go to the bottom, you get the two-buck donation.
It's amazing to me that we still have people that have not been kicked off by PayPal.
Their original plan was to get $2 donations, $2 subscriptions.
We have, I think, one...
How dumb was that?
Well...
You don't know because nobody does this.
We're actually the pioneers of turning these podcasts into a listener-supported podcast to the extreme that we do it because we took it very seriously from the beginning.
We knew that we were going to provide a lot of content that was the equivalent of any form of entertainment, but unfortunately we couldn't charge people to come to it, so we had to go in a reverse route, which means we have to do these segments and tell people and thank them individually, essentially.
So anyway, I want to thank everybody.
Go to Dvorak.org slash N-A and continue to help us out.
Also, channel Dvorak and noagenanation.com and noagenashow.com and hit the donate button.
It would really appreciate it.
Dvorak.org slash N-A Thank you for the love.
Thank you.
I really mean that.
It's your birthday party!
I'm no agenda.
David Oberbeck congratulates himself turning 33 on Friday the 13th.
Whoops, the magic number's there.
Thomas Gardner, happy birthday to his son Benjamin who turns one today and slowly counting down his $9.2 million worth as a human resource in the United States of Gitmo Nation.
And Bill Hutchinson congratulates himself turning 35 also on Friday the 13th.
Happy birthday on behalf of all your buddies here at the No Agenda Show.
It's your birthday, yeah.
And then we have A Knighthood, which is nice.
Yay!
To have a knighthood.
Where's your blade?
Yeah, it's coming.
Okay.
David Obeck, please step forward and kneel!
Thank you very much for finally...
Donating the extra $333.33 to get to your knighthood, we highly appreciate it because it is the sincerest form of love, and therefore we proudly present thee with this ring and pronounce thee, Sir David Oberbeck, Knight of the Knowledge in the Round Table.
Not just the ring, my friend.
How about some hookers and blows, some rent boys and chardonnay, and hot pants and booze right here for you.
Enjoy!
I saw an email from one of our knights who received his ring.
Did you see that?
No, tell me about it.
He took a picture of the package that it comes in.
I've got to say, our shill, Eric the Shill, is a genius.
So he sends this thing off, because we run a cheap operation.
These rings are valuable, of course, not just in actual monetary value, but it takes quite a bit to get it.
When he sends them off, he puts them in a cheap-ass pouch and puts on it value $2 for customs.
Oh, because he shipped it overseas?
Yeah, for customs.
Yeah.
That's what you do.
Genius, I say.
Genius.
I love it.
Value $2.
Oh, boy.
All right, everybody.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is time once again to do something very important.
So I'm watching the cable channels off the dish network.
They're all the same.
Everyone's got them.
And they've all sold out.
So the History Channel, instead of having stuff about history now, they have crazy shows that have nothing to do with history, and they don't even want it.
And if you look, there's no more Hitler documentaries.
It's all just junk.
Damn, no more Hitler documentaries.
So the Ask Adams, which is pretty bad to begin with, but the Ask Adams today is, I'm going to name some TV shows on the cable, and you're going to guess the network.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Good, I like this.
I'm going to start with an easy one.
All right.
Let's start with this one.
This is the name of the show.
You tell me.
Guess the network.
Guess the network.
Aaron Burnett out front.
CNN. Exactly.
So you get the hang of it.
Yes.
Okay.
What can I win?
You win a prize.
Okay.
A mouse pad.
I'm not going to get too hard right away, but let's try.
Okay.
You should be able to get all these because you can associate like the Aaron Burnett thing.
You know she's on CNN. It was very easy.
It's the way they all are.
Dog the Bounty Hunter.
What channel is that on?
That is on...
And no cheating.
No, no, I'm not cheating.
I think it's...
Is it Bravo?
Arts and Entertainment.
A&E. Okay, I'm sorry.
I have to go.
Dark the Bonnie Hunter is obviously an art show.
I am not sure.
Well, it's Arts and Entertainment, so it can be on A&E. It can be on the E part of A&E. Manhunters.
Man hunters.
That would be...
Discovery.
Bio.
Okay, here's an easy one.
Larry the Cable Guy.
Does this include...
Is it only cable networks or does it include big networks?
These are the cable networks.
Larry the Cable Guy is on the E-network.
It's now on the History Channel.
I'm sucking!
I'm sucking!
Can people play along at home?
I'm going to kind of down gear it a little bit for you so I'll make it a lot easier.
Mob Wives.
That is Bravo.
VH1. Ah!
Sons of Guns.
That is on...
Oh, I know this.
Discovery?
Oh, you got one!
Yes.
It's a gun show.
You think I might have seen it?
I cloned my pet.
I cloned my pet.
The Food Network.
Ah, now you're getting the idea.
But no, it's the learning channel.
And actually we have an I Clone My Pet clip.
You might want to play as a little interlude here.
It's a woman about the chicken sandwich.
Oh my goodness, all right.
My name is Danielle.
This is my dog, Trouble, who I would love to clone.
He was the love of my life, and I want him back.
I usually come in this room and I say, Hi, Trouble.
Hi, Trouble Boy, how are you?
He came first before anybody.
He came first before my husband.
He came first before my parents.
Nobody else mattered.
He was like the child that I never had, and I probably did treat him better than people treat their children.
It's three years after Trouble's death.
And Danielle still can't throw away anything her beloved trouble touched.
I have a piece of chicken.
Did you edit that?
Obviously, that's an important TLC show learning channel.
You learn a lot.
Yes, very important.
Okay, so as we continue on, Surviving Alcatraz.
Surviving Alcatraz.
That is CNBC. Wrong.
Let me give you another hint.
Same network.
Drugs, Inc.
I thought that was CNBC. I thought that that's all the stuff that they do at night.
It's the kind of stuff they do, but now that's being done on this channel.
Where's the program?
It was last night.
These two shows, one after the other.
National Geographic.
Pfft!
What is wrong with these?
Okay, let me give you one.
I love this.
This is a great game.
I'm going to give you a whole bunch of shows and you just name the channel because it's pretty obvious and you hear Killer Ants is a show.
Mutant Bees is a show.
Carnivorous Ants is a show.
Oh, this must be National Geographic.
What the ancients knew is all these shows.
Are you saying National Geographic?
That's a good guess.
No, that's Science Channel.
Ah!
So to completely dumb down the public, we have killer bees and killer ants.
This is a big science show.
Okay, this will be the last one.
Okay, ready?
I'm ready.
Instead of dragging it on, I'm going to name a bunch of shows and you tell me what this is.
Okay, all right, good.
Out of Control Drivers, Motorcycle Manhunt, Rec Classics, and Prom Queens.
I think that's all TLC. The Green Network.
How much are we paying for this wonderful package that you have time to watch?
Out of controlled drivers.
How is that green?
There's not a green show on the green network.
These guys all give up.
They have this great idea.
Let's do a green network.
And then nobody watches it.
So what is Toddlers and Tiaras on?
That's on TLC, I think.
Yeah, I think so too.
And you know what the other one...
So here's the shows out of that genre that I like.
I always watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when I'm cooking because I know Camille because she used to be a dancer on Club MTV and she has like 20 boob jobs and she would screw the director to get close-ups and it's just hilarious.
Okay.
That's funny.
I watch Dr.
Drew's Celebrity Rehab.
You know what channel that's on?
Celebrity Rehab?
Oh, no.
Bravo.
VH1. Of course.
It should be on Video Hits 1.
Yeah.
I love that because...
Video Hits.
Yeah.
It's an MTV channel.
I love Dr.
Drew because I also know most of the people who are on that show.
I do like watching reality shows where I know the people, like Tawny Katane.
We got the guy from Guns N' Roses.
It's funny.
Insane.
Then I watch Bridezilla's.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know what channel Bridezilla's is on, so I miss it most of the time.
And this other one, which is Gypsy Weddings.
Have you ever seen that one?
I think that's on TLC. It's just insane.
If you skim through the channels, which of course we do from time to time.
I'm paying $100, $120, more.
I'm paying all kinds of money for this crap.
And you're right, it's all bogus.
Bogative.
The whole thing is bogative.
It's ridiculous because...
Does that tell us...
Anthropologists are one day going to say, we've uncovered this cable programming box from the year 2012.
Let's see what's on the green network.
The time when people are very concerned with global warming.
They even had television channels like the green channel.
What did they have on the green channel, Professor Dvorak?
Great car wrecks.
Out of control drivers.
Wreck classics.
By the way, they're wreck chasers.
And it's with about two female tow truck drivers in Cleveland.
How is this green?
Wow.
What has it got to do with green?
They used to have Emerald cooking green.
I don't even know if he's on there.
He's too highbrow.
You can't have Emerald on television anymore.
He's too good.
Anyway, this is, and by the way, that's part of why we don't do video on this podcast, is we want people to listen to us, to imagine, use your theater of the mind, your imagination, like reading a book, and drift away and think about things and not be distracted by me with the headphones on.
How boring would that be?
John eating his grapefruit.
By the way.
Yes.
You've said it before, which is you get a lot more out of just watching the audio without being distracted by the video.
There's a lot of subtext that we pick up on.
A lot.
When I'm doing clips, I'll often discover something I really didn't take the clip for.
I'll listen to the clip because I'm just listening, and I'll say, oh my God, what did he say?
And I'll find some neuro-linguistic programming, some crazy way of putting things.
You can't do that if you're watching.
Right.
Did you...
So here's something that...
The audio...
Now, did you follow up on this two to the head from this Polish colonel?
No.
Did you hear about this?
No.
Oh, my goodness.
Well, I did.
No.
Okay, so this is a callback to when half the Polish government, more than half, was killed in a plane crash.
Including the head guy.
Yeah.
90 people flying to Russia and then you'll recall us playing the video of people being shot who were out there alive there were survivors and they were being shot nobody covered it but it was clear what was going on from the clip that was posted people were being shot on the spot so now there's this colonel who is the investigator investigating the journalists who were propagating of course these horrible lies
And this was on the BBC. This report, you just got to listen to the whole thing.
It's crazy.
The conference was tense.
Military prosecutor.
Colonel Mikolaj Pashabil was defending himself and his office against allegations of spying on journalists.
Journalists reporting on the plane crash that killed the then-Polish president, Lech Kaczynski and his wife, and more than 90 others in 2010.
During my entire service as a civilian and later military prosecutor, I have never brought shame to the Republic of Poland.
I will continue to uphold the honor of an officer of the Polish Armed Forces.
Thank you.
Please give me a five-minute break.
I need a rest.
Having cut the news conference short and with the camera still rolling, Colonel Peshaw Bill steps just out of view.
Listen carefully for a round being chambered in a weapon.
Moments later, a gunshot.
There was a bang here.
My first suspicion was maybe somebody had been shooting at the prosecutor, standing by the window.
However, we started to look for the prosecutor, Bishabal, and we found him lying under the table, laying on the floor in a large puddle of blood.
And then we started to suspect he had probably tried to commit suicide.
So, how crazy is this?
What?
How did I miss this?
But it gets even crazier.
So, and you actually see the guy walk off camera, and there's no cut that I can see in the shot.
You hear the round being chambered, you hear the shot, you hear the gun drop, you hear the...
I think you would be chambered beforehand.
This is almost like in your face.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
Well, it gets even better.
No, i wtedy zaczęliśmy się domyślać...
The bullet that could have been fatal went through the side of his cheek.
Animation on screen.
The prosecutor was taken to hospital for surgery.
It was not a serious operation.
We've operated on his cheek injury.
I think he will leave the hospital within the next few days.
Speaking from his hospital bed to local media by way of telephone, Colonel Prashalbill told reporters what happened and why.
I aimed incorrectly and the shot was fired a bit too fast.
The bullet went through my cheek and not to my head.
I was too hasty.
So here's a military guy who's like, I'm going to kill myself, and he misses his head?
Come on!
And then when you see him lying face down, spread eagle.
If you shoot yourself in the head, I don't think you necessarily fall face down, spread eagle, under the table.
This whole thing reeks of bull crap, and he missed!
I wanted to kill myself, but I missed.
Huh?
Yeah, and so he shot himself in the cheek.
What, did he put the gun to his cheek?
Apparently, and it went out the back of his cheek.
Why was a bullet being chambered?
Yeah, that's the...
What was he shooting a...
The whole thing doesn't make sense.
Well, we do know...
And do we know that's him talking?
It seems like he won't be talking for a while after that operation.
There's even more of the report, if you want, another 30 seconds.
It's just crazy.
He said he was tired of being a target of the gangs he was prosecuting.
I could come to terms with the fact that they demolished my car, that they unscrewed the wheels in my car, that there was a prize of a million zloty for my head.
I could come to terms with the fact that they killed my dog, but I could not come to terms with the accusations of misconduct that were hurled at me.
Asked by a radio reporter how he was feeling, his answer spoke volumes.
Like a man, he said, who has just been shot.
Jim Clancy, CNN reporting.
I'm sorry, that was CNN. The BBC had a shorter report.
The BBC actually had the same video, but they cut out the chambering of the round and the shot.
Which I found interesting, because that's kind of the best part.
I don't know why they did that.
So, I'm pretty convinced that the Polish government was killed and they were all assassinated.
But then for this guy who's investigating reporters, like, you know, people like you and me, and people who are shooting video of these poor survivors getting shot in the head, this is the guy investigating them, and then he shoots himself and misses?
I mean, you know...
I don't have a theory or anything, but I just had to play it.
I'm just like, wow, this is crazy.
The quality is about 29 cents, so it's about $300,000.
Oh, that's a good deal then.
Yeah.
Since we're in the second half of the show, actually moving quite along here to brisk clip.
What do I always say about space wars?
Do I not always say that we have no idea what's going on over our heads, that we got satellites shooting other satellites and all kinds of stuff?
Do I not always say this?
You don't always say it, but you've said it a lot.
The New York Times now reports, the paper of record, a Russian scientific spacecraft whizzing out of control around the Earth and expected to reenter the atmosphere on Saturday.
This is the, uh, what's the name of that thing again?
The spacecraft coming down?
Yeah, the one we talked about.
We even named the show after it.
We did?
Yeah.
Sputnik?
No.
Yes, that was a long time ago on the show.
I think it was episode 371.
It was...
Oh yeah, that crazy name.
I can't remember.
It's called...
Something stupid.
We'll get it.
Hold on a second.
It's the something stupid spacecraft.
Exactly.
I don't know.
Anyway, the Russian space agency director has said in an interview published Tuesday and republished by the New York Times, and you know they can't publish lies.
Phobos grunt.
Phobos grunt.
Thank you.
Quote, We don't want to accuse anybody, but there are very powerful devices that can influence spacecraft now, Mr.
Popovkin said in the interview.
The possibility they were used cannot be ruled out.
He also suggested that equipment on the spacecraft may have broken down while the vehicle was stored on the ground.
But in that case, it never would have launched.
We would have thrown it away.
So he's essentially saying that when this thing, Phobos Grunt, was out of range of their own radar, because, you know, there's a dark side or whatever, then they're out of radar contact, that that's when some powerful device that can influence spacecraft, which now apparently exists, was probably used.
The possibility cannot be ruled out.
I love it.
I love it when the New York Times for robbery.
They won't quite make an accusation, but it's pretty close.
Well, can't we just say the New York Times should be wearing tinfoil hats?
How come no one, like, ridicules them for that?
I don't know.
Because if it was Ron Paul, it would definitely be ridicule-worthy.
All right, let's talk about it, Ron.
By the way, this thing's interesting because it has something like, I don't know, 80 tons of hydrazine in it or something.
It's got like a huge tank of fuel.
Yeah, hydrazine is not good for you, I think, is it?
No, but I, you know, and I was thinking about this.
Now, I don't know the likelihood of the thing actually coming down and being in such a, the kind of shape where the hydrazine tank would be intact.
And I actually expected the hydrazine would blow up on re-entry because it would heat up, right?
And then the whole thing just, so it should be a spectacular explosion in space.
Nice.
That would be visible from Earth.
Saturday.
No one has said anything about that.
No.
Because it's not good form when your government blows something out of the sky to draw attention to it.
I guess that's probably a good rationale.
Right?
And they don't know where it's going to land.
They think it may land in the...
No, they know exactly where it's going to land.
Don't you remember that whole conversation?
They had the exact coordinates.
Because they shot it out.
They know exactly what's going on.
We're just idiots.
We're just stupid, lame-o idiots.
Well, the Russians aren't going to put...
They're not going to be happy.
These things cost money.
There must be something about the Phobos grunt because it's just floating around in orbit.
It must not have been a Mars probe at all.
Well, here's how the meeting went.
Hey, hey, John.
Friggin' Ruskies, man.
They sent this thing up, Phobos grunt.
I hate that name.
Let's nuke it.
Stupid name.
Stupid Ruskies.
Hey, this will give us a practice because it's going to be on the other side.
It's going to be dark for an hour.
Here we go.
We can shoot it down and no one will know and it'll give us good practice.
Good.
We got it.
All they can do is make vague accusations.
They won't know.
They won't really know.
So, Lucifer Clippity-Clop in the news quite a bit today.
Of course, not actually really in the news.
Little clips here and there.
I always watch the full videos if they're available on C-SPAN or on the state.gov website.
Also, I had to figure out the UN website.
Have you ever tried to figure out the United Nations website?
It's a nightmare.
My goodness.
If you just want to find a video, it's like it is a nightmare.
So, first of all, here's Lucifer with her signature move.
Clippity-clop.
Clippity-clop.
Now she's on the carpet.
Quiet.
And then clippity-clop.
We're off the carpet.
Clippity-clop.
Yep.
Hello.
And go ahead.
I'm Lucifer.
Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.
So what does she say?
Well, of course we have to do a couple of things here.
We have to first understand that there's been big news in Gitmo Nation, Irania.
Right.
Now, the Tehran deputy governor has already put the blame on Israeli forces as carrying out this attack, but what do we know about Professor Mustafa Ahmadi in terms of what his work was?
What did he do at Natanz?
So this is about the amazing story that I think for the third or fourth time now, a nuclear scientist in Iran has been assassinated.
Yeah, and this one was done in a James Bond style.
Yeah, apparently people saw two guys on a motorcycle go up, drop side, put a...
Black motorcycle and black outfits.
This is like Tom Cruise, and he puts a magnet...
And so one guy's driving, and the other guy puts a magnetic bomb underneath the car.
No, I think he put it on the side of the car, didn't he?
I thought it was underneath the car.
It's going to be hard to do that.
Why don't you just drive by and shoot the guy in the head?
Yeah, this is more fun.
It looks better.
And of course, this is not a foreign operation.
These nuclear scientists disappearing and dying, that can have nothing to do with any other country.
And do we know anything about this scientist?
Well...
For the time being, not a lot have been released regarding this guy, but in the last three years, we have witnessed exactly similar accidents in Tehran.
In all of them, the Iranian officials have accused Israeli to play a key role in doing these attacks.
Two years ago, Professor Ali Mohammadi was killed, and last winter, exactly last winter, another guy called Shahri Ali was killed in exactly the same accident.
And in all of these events, it was the Iranian intelligence service who pointed to Israeli intelligence service, accusing them of playing a key role in killing Iranian nuclear scientists.
So this is a script, ladies and gentlemen, which I think belongs on the Green Channel.
It's so poorly written.
So the whole idea is, you know, this is the back and forth, back and forth.
Oh, you did this.
Oh, you killed our guy.
Oh, you sunk my battleship.
And then Lucifer has to come out and say this.
I think it's important to recognize very clearly that the provocative rhetoric coming out of Iran in the last week has been quite concerning.
It has caused us and many of our partners in the region and around the world to reach out to the Iranians To impress upon them the provocative and dangerous nature of the threats to close the Straits of Hormuz.
This is an international waterway.
The United States and others are committed to keeping it open.
It's part of the lifeline that keeps oil and gas moving around the world.
And it's also important to speak As clearly as we can to the Iranians...
Notice how her voice goes up.
Do you notice that?
It's also important to say, as clearly as we can, because it's important.
Please pay attention.
This is your news bite for the 6 o'clock news.
...to the Iranians about the dangers of this kind of provocation.
Having said that, I want to categorically deny...
Any United States involvement in any kind of act of violence inside Iran.
We believe that there has to be an understanding between Iran, its neighbors and the international community that finds a way forward for it to end its provocative behavior Well, here's the timeline, by the way.
The Iranians capture an American alleged spy, who has an interesting background, by the way, which makes him kind of sound like a spy.
We rescue a bunch of Iranian fishermen in two different incidents.
Yep.
They take the spy and say, we're going to kill him.
Yep.
And then we kill this guy.
Then we kill some other dude.
Right, exactly.
It's like, okay.
It's like, even Tom Cruise would say, you're kidding me, right?
You don't really want this.
This is lame.
You can't really have this as a script for Mission Impossible 5.
This is dumb.
I mean, we need something good now.
We need something flying around towers.
We need people jumping out of helicopters.
This is no good.
This is a very, very lame script.
Yet, it is being played out.
And the thing about the spy, which is interesting if you look into this guy's background...
So he's going to go to Iran.
He's an American, goes to Iran.
Apparently he's a very interesting character.
He's very talented.
And to see his grandmom.
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Yeah, I'm just going to see my grandmother.
So we don't know anything else.
He went in, he got in okay, and then they said, well, they set him up, or maybe he did something.
I don't know.
I mean, we don't get the real story about any of this, but the guy gets arrested and...
But the timing...
They will let him go, by the way.
But the timing is beautiful because we've got all these Republican douche knuckles running for the primaries all saying, and there's clippity-clops saying it or so.
Stop making nuclear weapons.
Stop making nuclear weapons.
The worst part is that...
Is Santorum, who is a bloodthirsty jerk-off, if anyone is, and he goes on and on about, in fact, I don't know if I have a clip of this, where he goes on and on about how we should be killing these guys left and right.
Santorum on assassinations?
Yeah, play that and then I'll, and that's, yeah, that's the one I think.
We've got problems.
There was a nuclear scientist who was killed in Iran.
Iran says it was the United States who did it.
The United States has condemned it.
Britain has condemned it.
Israel has said nothing.
So there's a lot of suspicion that Israel was responsible for his death.
That's the guy, the person who doesn't say anything.
That's the one who farted.
Is that basically?
What that news report is saying.
Hey man, Israel, you're real quiet there.
Did you fart?
Israel farted!
Things have certainly heated up.
If you're President of the United States, with Ahmadinejad visiting just down the road a little bit in Cuba, and all that going on in Tehran, what would you be doing differently tonight than President Obama's doing?
Well, I've already made a public statement that any nuclear scientist, particularly any foreign nuclear scientist, who's cooperating with the Iranians in developing a nuclear weapon program would be considered an enemy combatant, and I would be doing what Israel would be doing tonight, which is saying nothing.
Would you have participated in trying to eliminate him?
I'd be saying nothing right now.
Would you have been behind his elimination?
I mean, there are different ways to go after the program.
One is to take out their plants, another is to take out their people who are involved in them.
I think that this is the most serious threat to the security and stability of the world that we have today, and we should be using all types of methodologies to stop that, including taking out people, and I've said specifically, foreign scientists who come into Iran for the purposes of helping them to develop a nuclear weapons program.
These are people who should be treated like enemy combatants, period.
Wow.
A couple of things here besides him being a douchebag.
No, no, no, no, no.
He is the supply that runs through the hose into the douchebag.
So he said a couple of things.
He says enemy combatant.
Are we at war with Iran?
Did we declare war?
Have we been bombing?
What's the deal?
Let me check.
I missed the memo.
Let me see if Congress has declared war.
No, I don't think so.
Okay, so the guy's not an enemy combatant, except in this guy's brain.
Now, any nuclear scientist...
He emphasizes twice, and I have other clips of him, emphasizing as if it were true that this guy was a foreign nuclear scientist.
He is not.
He was a manager at one of the facilities.
He's Iranian.
So what's that all about?
It's just to scare off the foreign guys maybe from coming in?
I'm not sure.
But it's bull crap.
So there's something weird going on about this whole thing.
And Santorum is, I don't know what his problem is, but he's got something.
He's got walking papers or talking.
I think he's MKUltra.
He grew up in Pennsylvania, Penn State, lots of pedo bear action.
Maybe he was programmed early on.
Well, it looks like the type.
Yeah.
Very, very scary, man.
Very, very...
You know what Mickey said the other day?
If that guy becomes the presidential nominee, I'm leaving this country.
And I said, no.
Going back to Holland.
I said, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That'd be great.
Hey, get in a second.
I'll be buying in there, too.
Yeah, see, that'll be great.
Go back to Holland.
But, you know, everyone sees that he's a creep, and there's no way he can get anywhere.
I mean, the...
I mean, it's like seeing a huntsman.
He's just an insincere douchebag.
He's so insincere.
I'll be darned.
And that.
So anyway, so we got these guys pegged.
Enemy combatants.
Anyway, so of course we have to stir it up a little bit more, because we've got to get ready.
We've got our guys talking about it.
We've got the Newt.
The Newt is talking about going, the Newt will nuke.
We've got Henchmen.
We've got Santorum.
We've got to throw in some serious stuff.
Throw in some serious stuff.
There you go.
That's what we've got to do.
And how are we going to do it?
Well, we have to prove that Assad is killing everybody.
Killing them!
Killing them!
Killing him!
So, they're still in the UN Security Council, of which our ambassador is Susan Rice, who has an ugly, ugly-ass wide pant legs that she wears.
You know, the ones that you could fit three legs into in each pant leg?
It's such a not a good look.
MC Hammer.
Well, to say that it's a foreign conspiracy is frankly an insult to the...
Sorry, I had to set this up.
So, Assad...
An insult to someone?
Assad comes out and says, this is a conspiracy.
We have the foreign media...
Everyone's conspiring to kick me out, which, by the way...
It's true!
It's exactly what happened with Libya.
It's exactly what happened with Egypt.
It is true.
It is a conspiracy.
And we know that these are all kinds of bullcrap fighters who are in there.
And we don't see actual high-quality video.
It's all just fake.
It's all fake.
It's another fake war.
And then Susan Rice has the audacity to say this.
To say that it's a foreign conspiracy is frankly an insult to the people of Syria who are dying on the streets at the hands of their own government as they try to express freely their rights to peaceful expression and freedom of assembly.
This is such a lie!
Where have we seen this?
It's not true.
We have no reporters on the ground.
No one is actually reporting on this.
The Arab League is like, we can't find it.
Oh, you turn the street signs around.
Oh, they hid the prisoners.
To bring about, through peaceful means, a better future and a more responsive government.
The United States has been very clear and very forceful in its approach to the crisis in Syria from the very outset.
We've imposed tough sanctions on the Syrian regime.
Which is an act of war.
We have incrementally increased them.
We have joined with partners in Europe and in the Arab world to broaden and deepen those sanctions.
And we have pressed, as you know, for a strong and meaningful response by this Council to what is transpiring in Syria.
We think it's long past time that the Council passes a strong resolution.
That supports the Arab League and all of the elements of the Arab League initiative, including its call for sanctions.
Unfortunately, after a bit of a show last month of tabling a resolution, the Russians inexplicably have been more or less AWOL in terms of leading negotiations on the text of that resolution.
We and many other members of the Council have offered a number of amendments.
We were happy to engage in a process, but we thought that that The ultimate resolution that might emerge from negotiations had to be credible.
It had to be comprehensive.
We couldn't cherry-pick among aspects of the Arab League initiative that some may like and leave aside those that some may not like.
We needed to endorse the Arab League and support it in total.
It's a little long-winded, but I think it's important that we understand exactly what is going on.
So the Russians are still saying no.
We'll have no part of this.
This is bull crap.
So the whole Russian thing is still in play.
Now we have Klippity Klopp.
And Klippity Klopp goes one step further.
They had the meeting, clearly.
Same talking points.
She goes one step further while she's standing next to the guy from the Arab League.
Two weeks ago, Arab League monitors arrived in Syria to judge whether the regime was keeping its promise to end the killings, withdraw its troops, release political prisoners, and follow through on the commitments that it had made.
So far, the regime has not done so.
It claims to have released some prisoners, but thousands more are still not free.
Dozens more are arrested every day.
And here comes the kicker.
We've seen the Syrian army paint its assault vehicles blue to disguise military forces.
Are you kidding me?
Where's the...
Please, where's the Viagra rape thing?
You've got to move on.
You've got to move beyond all the...
It's interesting, though, that there's a code word blue.
Blue.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, this is not by accident.
They painted their military trucks blue.
Like, hey, guys, we've got to go kill some civilians.
Hold on a second, boss.
We can't do it until we paint everything blue.
Yeah, because that's what murderous regimes do.
As police to hide from the world the full extent of its crackdown.
Just two days ago...
No, because we can't see the actual crackdown.
Eleven of the international monitors were attacked.
Two were injured when their convoy came under assault.
But instead of taking responsibility, what we hear from President Assad in his chillingly cynical speech Chillingly cynical speech, John.
Chillingly cynical...
Well, chilling is, of course, a code word.
You see that the left uses it quite a bit.
Chilling.
When you see chilling, you should perk up your ears.
Yes.
But chillingly is like...
Okay.
It's like going overboard.
So she's setting you up.
She's making sure...
Yeah, not an unnecessary adjective.
No, it's setting you up because what she's about to say is, of course, completely crazy.
Yesterday was only making excuses, blaming foreign countries, conspiracies so vast that now it includes the Syrian opposition, the international community, all international media outlets, the Arab League itself.
And I want to commend the Arab League for showing real leadership.
Yeah, I think he's probably right.
Yes, the foreign media.
All media is compromised.
Yes, it's a conspiracy.
Yes, you have techno-experts in all these countries.
You've admitted that, Lucifer Clippity-Clop Hinton.
You she-devil.
The question that comes up in my mind is, what about Bahrain?
We not only ignore, which seems to be more problematic than Syria, the people's uprising in Bahrain, which is kind of like Tunisia.
It's something we didn't dream.
It's nothing we're part of, so we didn't make this happen, but it's happening.
Let's just ignore it.
We just did the biggest arms deal ever.
Yeah.
With Saudi Arabia.
So they could clamp down Bahrain.
Yeah, there were a few questions.
So how does this make sense to anybody who knows all these variant facts?
It's a scam.
Yeah.
Well, it's...
Wait, I should say the New York Times.
Yeah.
Oh, oh, oh.
Today's paper.
Oh, wait, has Syria moved up?
Has it moved up to the page three?
Moved up, front page picture.
Whoa!
Hold on, let me go check out New York Times.
With a Page 10 story, though, so it's still kind of like...
What's the headline?
What's the headline?
Let me look at the online site.
It's not really a headline.
It's a president, Syria's president makes rare public appearance, and they got a picture of him in this weird, kind of a...
It's a weird, crappy photo, but it's the big top-of-the-fold photo, and it says, Assad waved to supporters in Damascus on Wednesday.
He pledged to defeat conspiracies against Syria, and then you have to go to A-10, where this is...
Again, I still think this is downplayed on orders.
And Carter says Egypt's military is the top story, and you have to go down below the fold to get Syria's president's defiant.
And that's it.
It's just a little story of four columns.
The Arab League observer quit, calling his mission a farce, is the pull quote.
A fart?
Farce.
And it's a vague story.
Maybe we can look up the writer and see what's going on.
I think they're waiting for October.
This is what it's going to be.
Yeah, maybe.
The October surprise.
There's definitely something going to happen in October.
So, just to get the, you know, to rig the election.
Yeah.
All right.
There you go.
More of the same.
But at least, you know, maybe, you know, John, maybe we could get our show distributed on, like, the Green Channel or something.
I'm sure people would be happy to.
Or National Geographic.
Yeah.
We could just have a static image and just us talking away.
We'd probably get better ratings if our entire audience showed up.
All 5,000 of them.
Yeah, it would boost them.
And then from the I told you so files, remember when everyone was like, oh yeah, cool, Mayor Bloomberg, yeah, he's outlawing smoking in New York.
Yeah, that's great.
Let's get rid of the smokers, you filthy smokers, you.
And what did I say?
I said, hey, you know what?
You want to do that?
That's fine.
It's good.
Yep, smoking, filthy.
You hear me hawking and coughing?
That's right.
But if you let the government out ban smoking in the open air, what are they going to come for next?
Here it is.
Mayor Bloomberg coming after alcohol.
That's right.
Apparently he doesn't know the history of prohibition.
But there's now a request for proposal document...
That the mayor's office has sent out about reducing alcohol retail outlets.
So they want to basically license where alcohol can be sold, and this is just the start of it all.
Oh yeah, it's the start of prohibition in New York City.
And what does that usually lead to, besides a great series on Showtime?
Great crime syndicates.
Yeah, exactly.
Crimes.
This plays right in the hand of the criminal element.
That's what he's trying to do.
The guy's corrupt in some funny way.
So that, to me, means that he is a criminal element.
Alright.
He's probably leading...
He probably has a distillery somewhere.
Or something.
Anyway...
Don't kill the messenger.
Well, that was another enlightening show.
Yeah, well, did you have something fun to end it all with?
I mean, I have nothing.
I do have a little clip that we can play.
It's very short.
As an end-of-show clip?
Of Cavuto with just a weird kind of homage to Ron Paul that was on Fox Business.
Fox Business is a little more liberal.
Yeah, a little conservative, let's say.
Literally 8,000 people watching that.
Yeah, it's very low.
But I would play that.
It's amusing because there's a punchline.
Okay, we'll play it as an end of show clip.
Alright.
Hey everybody, thank you very much for showing up.
Thank you very much for showing your support and love.
Because donating is the sincerest form of love.
Right above cooking for someone else.
And we've got a couple days to ramp up for the next round, so thank you so much.
Coming to you from Camp Mofo here in the Drone Star State.
In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
And from Northern Silicon Valley, we're taking out the garbage day.
Whoops, the garbage is gone.
I'm John C. Dvorak.
We'll be back again on Sunday, same time, same bat channel, right here on No Agenda.
So let you hear this.
Yes.
And if they are right, and if that.
Yeah.
Those are largely kids going more than largely nuts.
Over a 76-year-old dude talking about reining in the Fed and pulling back our troops.
That's a crowd that usually isn't engaged with or by or anything having to do with Republicans.
The same crowd, I suspect, might have attended some Barack Obama rallies four years ago, but not now.
And then it got me thinking, now and then this does happen.
If Ron Paul...
Can draw that kind of crowd.
The president's crowd.
Does he offset the support he's dragging away from the presumptive Republican nominee and his traditional crowd?
Hard to say.
This much is not.
Ron Paul isn't only a force.
I think he's a phenomenon.
Way too early to say he still can't meet a Republican nominee.
Even earlier to say he can't make a go of it as an independent nominee.
All I know is the Libertarian is a hit with a lot of liberals.
Liberals who want us drawing our troops back and cutting our spending back.
Rowdy kids share that view.
Kids Republicans have long dismissed and Democrats have long taken for granted.
Not wise, not now.
Not when Ron is the rage and the life of the party.
And poised to enrage both parties.
76-year-old dude treated like a rock star.
Iran must not get a nuclear weapon.
And we will go about whatever it takes to make sure that happens.
Why?
Because donating...
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