Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

All Episodes

Previous Next

Feb. 6, 2011 - No Agenda

02:26:31

276: Cleopatra Returns

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	No one has better information than Weather Central.
	Adam Curry, John C. DeVore.
	It's Sunday, February 6, 2011.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation media assassination episode 276.
	This is no agenda.
	Throwing shoes at the moochers and loochers of Gitmo Nation from my perch at the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center here in Gitmo Nation West in the People's Republic of Southern California.
	In the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where it's not Sunday, it's Super Bowl Sunday.
	I'm John C. Borat.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill!
	In the morning!
	Yeah.
	You know, I booked a trip up to San Francisco.
	I'm leaving this afternoon.
	I'm like, wow, these tickets are really cheap!
	Yeah?
	Well, I figured out why.
	Oh, because it's Super Bowl Sunday?
	It's Super Bowl Sunday, and I care so much.
	Smart idea.
	I care so much about it that I'm like, I'll just go up there at the end of the day.
	I've traveled on Christmas.
	It's like the same thing.
	Yeah, it's awesome.
	The airports are empty.
	The tickets are cheap.
	The next day, of course, the ticket price skyrockets.
	In the morning to you, John.
	In the morning to you, Adam.
	And in the morning to all ships at sea, feet and apparently cows on the ground.
	Boots on the ground.
	Wings in the skies.
	Ships at sea.
	Foots in the ocean.
	Checks in the mail.
	Bakers in the kitchen.
	Dung in the pit.
	Astronauts manning the moon and Mars base stations.
	Anyone currently napping for humanity, hams on the air, and human resources throwing shoes and boots everywhere, especially the chat room at knowagendastream.com in the morning to you.
	We hope you're all charged up the way your government loves you and needs you to be.
	We started a revolution yesterday, John.
	I did a daily source code, and I basically called for the revolution, which we spoke about on Thursday's episode 275.
	I said, we've got to start throwing shoes.
	I thought you were talking about the nap revolution.
	Well, no, that's after you nap.
	Or maybe you can throw a shoe and then nap.
	How about doing both at the same time?
	You're really good if you can do that.
	And what happened was, is people started a virtual shoe throw.
	You have no idea how many songs there are that contain the word shoe in it, in the title or in the lyric.
	It's quite a lot.
	We had a virtual shoe box filled.
	So I once again call for the revolution.
	I think it's a good one.
	I think we need to throw more shoes at political leaders.
	Anyone who's elitist and is telling you what to do, just throw your shoe at them.
	I like it.
	It's what this revolution should be.
	You know who else likes it?
	Skechers.
	Yeah, we could actually get a commercial tie-in.
	We could have them sponsor the show.
	We could get Skechers.
	Put your shoe for Skechers.
	I finally figured out, by the way, what's behind the whole Egyptian revolution thing.
	Or as I saw...
	Besides oil and economic hitmen?
	Well, now it's...
	Rage and revolution.
	That's what I saw this morning.
	It's like...
	Rage and revolution in Egypt.
	No, I figured it out.
	It took me a while to find it, but some sleuthing coming out in 3D. Angelina Jolie reprises Elizabeth Taylor's role as Cleopatra.
	Well, that's pretty much it.
	I know this is one of our basic tenets.
	Yeah.
	It might be a stretch.
	It's a stretch.
	I like it, though.
	Why not?
	Why not?
	Every news item that we've been covering over the last two years, three years, has always been linked to some role out of some movie.
	Absolutely.
	So why wouldn't this be?
	I mean this is just taking it to a new level.
	I think it was a little bit in limbo, and it wasn't quite ready for production, but I think it's been green-lighted.
	Oh, now for sure.
	I think we're good to go.
	There was something else.
	What would I find here?
	Hold on.
	I found a...
	Oh, here it is.
	The Real Reason for the Egyptian Revolution.
	A little clip for you in the morning, everybody.
	Reporters in the middle of the crisis and risking their lives to bring you the news as it happens.
	Journalists have always entered dangerous areas.
	That's part of the thrill for them.
	But it's not such a thrilling backdrop for Hollywood actors.
	Angelina Jolie has been in talks to play Cleopatra in a 3D blockbuster movie.
	See?
	I mean, it's there, right?
	It's propagating.
	Pretty straightforward.
	Yeah.
	They're ready for it.
	I love it.
	Why not?
	Why not, people?
	It's good.
	So, I've got another one, a little tidbit here on this crazy thing.
	My favorite thing of the week was this guy, Frank Wisner.
	So, they send this.
	This is the envoy.
	They're going to send to Egypt to tell Mubarak to quit.
	What do we know about him?
	What do we know about his background?
	Well, we know that he used to work for the Carter administration.
	Okay.
	As a diplomat of some sort.
	And then he went into consulting, where he became a...
	Well...
	Rich.
	Well, he became rich, and he also ended up working, coincidentally, for the Egyptian government on behalf of Mubarak.
	Oh, really?
	So they sent him over, and he...
	They send him over and he botches the deal.
	No!
	He blew it!
	I have a clip here of him talk coming back and so the White House denounced his commentary saying it's just his personal opinion.
	Play the clip and then I'll tell you the basic what really happened.
	But the under pressure president received some unlikely support from a top American official.
	The man the US sent to Cairo to help solve the crisis said he wasn't sure Mubarak should go now.
	President Mubarak's continued leadership is critical.
	It's his opportunity to write his own legacy.
	He's given 60 years of his life to the service of his country.
	This is an ideal moment for him to show the way forward.
	The White House disowned the comments saying they were private views.
	The Mubarak government is keen to show it's changing.
	That's great.
	Now, was he actually an envoy sent from the White House or from the state?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Are you sure it's not from the State Department that he wasn't from?
	Well, no, it was sent via the White House, but...
	First thing I thought was, well, who would be behind such a gaffe but the State Department because Hillary.
	Right.
	It must be the evil hand of Hillary, so I just said, she's got to be behind it.
	There's no real coverage of this, but I did Google Frank Wisner and Hillary Clinton, and it turns out that Blake Howell, or I guess it's Housell, From Foreign Policy Magazine Twittered that it was Hillary who recommended him.
	Oh, really?
	You know, I think that there's still this internal rift going on between Hillary and Obama because there was another report.
	There's this ambassador to Luxembourg Her name is Cynthia Strom, and she's a total elitist.
	She's like a businesswoman.
	And she raised half a million dollars, which apparently, then you're one of the top bundlers for the Obama campaign, for the Obama election campaign.
	And she got a cushy little ambassadorship in Luxembourg, which, let's face it, all you're doing is just like, you're holding the door open when people come to get their money.
	There's nothing going on.
	It's just banking.
	That's all that Luxembourg is.
	Yeah, it's like being probably the cushiest.
	It's a great job.
	The better one is the Vatican, apparently.
	But think about it.
	All we'd have to do, and we could do a co-ambassadorship, all we'd have to do is raise $500 million for the next president.
	It doesn't matter who it is, and we too can be ambassadors somewhere.
	Yeah, that's how you do it.
	I thought it would be much more half a million is nothing.
	Anyway, so she is the top fundraiser for Obama.
	She gets this great ambassadorship, and then the State Department has done an investigation, and they release the document.
	It's redacted here and there, but actually says, like, unclassified yet sensitive.
	Is what the document is titled.
	And it turns out her confrontational management style, including issues with alcohol, all kinds of problems, Hillary has thrown her out.
	She's been fired as ambassador.
	And you know that that's a personal vendetta.
	Oh, yeah.
	Totally.
	Well, I'm wondering when, you know, Hillary, because of this situation by sending this bonehead to Egypt, you know, this stooge from Mubarak as our representative to straighten things out.
	I'm wondering how much, I mean, we only know about a couple of these things.
	How much damage is Hillary actually doing to the Obama administration behind it?
	Probably a lot more than we know.
	Probably a lot more.
	It's got to be a lot more because she's getting into a last-ditch situation because Obama's numbers have gone up since the Egyptian thing.
	He's going to be harder to unseat in 2012 by the Republicans or their own party.
	To get a sitting president out so you can run...
	It's a little harder.
	Really hard to do, and it's very rare that it happens.
	In fact, I don't know that it's ever happened in our lifetimes.
	Whatever the case, I mean...
	Well, now, you know, but the Clintons, they're a team, of course, and they're moving in, and I see on February 24th, Bill Clinton has this whole special running on the network formerly known as General Electrics, and he is being hailed as the president of the world.
	That's the title of the special.
	Bill Clinton, President of the World.
	Oh yeah.
	So, you know, they've got their buddies.
	And that's probably like one of these where Obama gave General Electric all these waivers for the machinery they're building so they don't have to pay carbon taxes.
	And then Bill and Hillary go, oh yeah?
	They don't pay much tax at all, those guys.
	Yeah, but carbon taxes is additional.
	I paid my electricity bill.
	It went up again.
	Did yours go up?
	Do you pay the bill or does Mimi pay the bill?
	She pays the bill.
	I'll have to ask her.
	It's always going up.
	Yeah, but half of it's taxes now.
	Oh yeah, lots of taxes.
	It's crazy.
	Anyway, so I'm sure that Bill and Hillary are going, oh yeah, oh yeah, watch this.
	We're just going to have General Electric call us president of the world, bitches.
	So I have to assume that Obama has Hillary in that position because it's better to keep your enemies close kind of thing?
	Sure.
	But I think she must be screwing stuff up all over the place.
	I mean, this is just one lone example, and it still hasn't been really brought out much, even though the White House is quite embarrassed.
	She may have tripped the Egyptian Revolution early just to trip Obama up.
	I wouldn't put it past her.
	Whatever the case is, he should fire her.
	That put a crimp in her plans.
	Just fire her for incompetence.
	Wow.
	That'll be the day.
	That'll be the day.
	That's when you wind up with two in the head and a gun in your left hand.
	It's like, oh, he fell on his pistol.
	That really sucks.
	He was cleaning it and went off.
	Now, you don't want to cross the Clintons like that, man.
	I don't think that's a good idea.
	Well, I'm just saying, if he had any balls, that's what he'd do.
	Right on.
	But, I don't know about right on, what is this, the 60s?
	Let's thank some producers.
	It's groovy, man.
	Yeah, we may not have an ambassadorship just yet.
	Yeah, no, well, we didn't get one this show, that's for sure.
	Oh, really?
	Is it not good?
	Well, it's okay.
	I mean, it's, you know, credible.
	We do have an executive producer, an associate executive producer, and a member of the 276 Club.
	Oh, that's nice.
	That's nice.
	So our executive producer for today's show is Dave Selden from Nashville, Tennessee, but his payments to be credited to his buddy Mickey Kennedy of E! Releases, who is working towards an eventual knighthood, previous $3.99 donation way back in October 2009.
	So Mickey gets this for $305.08.
	That's executive producer, associate executive producer, and exclusive member of the 276 Club is Chris.
	Okay, here we go.
	I think it may be Gilen.
	You don't have a location there, but he says Gitmo Nation Haiku.
	Oh, it doesn't say that on my sheet.
	Did I get an older version?
	No, it says, greetings from Gitmo Nation Haiku Brussels.
	Oh, there you go.
	I'd like to become a member of the 267, 26, blah, 276 Club, sorry about that.
	I didn't get enough sleep.
	And would appreciate a ringtone as I think John's pronunciation of my name is hilarious.
	However, Adam, please pronounce it first, as otherwise John will say Chris Geelan, which means something like Chris Horny.
	Hey, Chris Geelen, the phone's ringing.
	It's Chris Geelen, with an I before E, pronounced in Flemish.
	Due to the time difference, by the time I hear this, it will be the 7th of February, which is my 44th birthday, so we have him on the list.
	Do we have him on the list?
	It's exactly what he didn't want you to do.
	You did.
	You said Geelen.
	It's not Geelen.
	No, but he wants me to botch it so he can make it a ringtone.
	Okay, so why don't you say this?
	Lekker geel, Chris Geelen, je telefoon gaat.
	Never mind.
	Did you just spit all over the place?
	You sound like you're speaking Arabic.
	It's not far from it.
	Lekker geil.
	What?
	Lekker geil.
	Lekker geil.
	Chris Gielen je telefoon gaat.
	Lekker geil Chris Gielen je telefoon gaat.
	Lekker geil Chris Gielen je telefoon gaat.
	A little tip.
	Whenever someone speaks a foreign language and you don't, never repeat exactly what they say.
	It's a tip.
	It's a life tip.
	It'll be good for you throughout your years, John.
	Trust me.
	A couple of PR mentions before we move on, and we thank Dave so much and, of course, Chris Gielen for their support of Noah Jenner episode 276, although light on the producer and associate executive producerships, nice to see a 276 club member in there.
	Yeah.
	277 Club, open for business.
	That's right.
	So the door closes officially on 276.
	One of our producers, who shall remain nameless by request, took the task.
	John, as you tasked everyone, and you said, if you have domains laying around, please forward them to noagendashow.com.
	And he had a whole list.
	What do you have here?
	Some good ones, actually, I think.
	There's a couple good ones in there.
	Yeah, he's got appitup.com, digitify.com.
	D-I-Y ass man?
	Do it yourself, ass man.
	I think that was good.
	You have no idea.
	It's one of those things, you're sleeping a bit.
	I have a great idea for a domain name.
	Let me write it down.
	Wait until I do it.
	And you wake up in the morning and go, D-Y-I ass man.
	This site rocks.
	Well, it's, you know.
	User-created, user-generated content.
	DIYassman.
	Hitmethod.com.
	Mafiainsured.com.
	Mojoli.com.
	OpenReminder.com.
	Podemic.com.
	Quackset.
	Tingassets.com.
	Slipskit.com.
	I don't know what that is.
	Store assets and webassman.com.
	I'm telling you, if anyone's looking for ass, it's here, baby.
	You've come to the right place.
	Welcome to the No Agenda Show.
	And I believe we actually had one of our boots on the ground in, I want to say where was this, in Utah.
	As our El Presidente was in Utah on February 3rd.
	And by the way, I noticed that he has a couple of different Air Force Ones.
	Did you know this?
	Yeah, he's got two of them.
	I think maybe there's...
	No, no, he has more than that because this is a 757 that he's flying.
	What?
	Yeah, it's a 757.
	What was he doing in a 757?
	Well, I don't know.
	It looks like Air Force One.
	First of all, any plane the President is in is by definition Air Force One.
	But I always saw the 747s.
	I see this picture and I'm like, that's a 757.
	Was it a 767?
	Nope.
	Nope.
	No, I do know my airplanes.
	Why is he flying around in that piece of wood?
	Because he went to Utah?
	They can't take a 747?
	Maybe, maybe.
	Or his wife is flying around.
	Michelle's got the...
	Sorry, honey.
	She's got the limo.
	I need both of them.
	You've got two of them, honey.
	No, I need both of them for my staff.
	I need my staff in one jet, and I have to be in the other one.
	I don't want to be with a bunch of people.
	So the news article highlighted this kid and Tyson, Tyson Lamb.
	And he got to see the president's plane, although he should have been bummed out.
	It would have been cool if the kid said, hey, this is a crappy 757.
	Where's the real plane?
	What is this?
	Paul Allen's got one of these.
	However, the Secret Service agent said this was just completely impromptu.
	The kid wants to be a pilot.
	And here it comes.
	He received a gift from another member of the Secret Service.
	And this is where I think it might have been one of our Minutemen on the inside.
	He received a challenge coin.
	A challenge?
	A coin traded amongst different military units.
	Mm-hmm.
	I'm going to save this forever, he said.
	I can't wait to tell the kids at school about it.
	Wouldn't it be cool if it was a No Agenda Challenge coin?
	Yeah, it would be cool.
	I don't think it was, but I didn't know there was more of them floating around.
	Well, there's a lot of them floating around.
	These things will be around long after we're gone, John, which is...
	What the hell?
	What is this?
	Here's another one.
	And these pins, and like, oh my gosh.
	And why are these pins linked to webassman.com?
	These guys must have been weird.
	So, talking about Paul Allen having a 757, here's a question I've been pondering.
	Uh-oh.
	Is it time?
	No.
	That's not an Ask Adam.
	Are you sure?
	Okay, go ahead.
	Because I've got so many of these jingles, you know.
	You hit it.
	When John C. Dvorak's got a burning question, what should I do?
	Ask Adam.
	Oh, man.
	So, how many of these did you get?
	Like, 15.
	Yeah.
	And they're all great.
	Okay, well, I'll try to use that.
	Ask the question.
	What's the question?
	You got guys like Paul Allen.
	You got rich guys like Larry Allison.
	These guys, Paul Allen has three super yachts.
	These things are monsters.
	They cost millions of dollars.
	Like a hundred million dollars or something like that.
	Yeah, and he's got three of them.
	You know, one for each foot.
	And one for that middle foot.
	This monster boat that's the size of the Queen Mary, and then there's the Brunei guy.
	They all have these yachts, and they all have private jets.
	Yeah, I got you.
	I think the Brunei's got a 747.
	If I see Paul Allen, I'm throwing my shoe at him.
	Ready for the question?
	Okay.
	Why doesn't one of these rich guys, who've got nothing better to do than show off how much money they've got, buy one of the Concords?
	And use that as their private jet.
	They've been taken out of service, but parts are available.
	Parts are available.
	Hey, I need a carburetor.
	Parts are available.
	These things still fly around occasionally.
	Here's another little bit of Concorde trivia history for you.
	After the horrific accident in France with the German company, When the thing went down and everyone perished, the aircraft received its Certificate of Airworthiness, and I believe it's still valid.
	Do you know what the date was that it received its Certificate of Airworthiness?
	The day it was supposed to re-enter service?
	September 11, 2001.
	Oh, that's funny.
	It was supposed to actually start flying again on September 11th.
	Huh.
	Yeah, just another one of those.
	Wait a minute.
	I asked Adam.
	I didn't get an answer.
	Because it would be so politically incorrect, these guys, they don't want to draw that kind of attention to them.
	Oh, really?
	They've got sailboats.
	No, no, no.
	I'm telling you, it was the wrong kind of attention.
	A sailboat is okay because it's wind power.
	Those aren't sailboats that these guys have.
	They're all huge, monstrous ships with diesel engines.
	The only ships you see are the ones...
	This is what all these guys do.
	They've got a big mast on it, and they've got the diesel engines down below.
	I know that.
	No, you haven't looked at these boats.
	None of these guys have a mast on their boat.
	The only guy...
	Tom Perkins has a boat with a mast on it.
	Everybody else's boats are...
	Jim Barkley, what's his name?
	So what?
	Those guys aren't the rich guys.
	I'm talking about the rich guys.
	Barksdale.
	Barksdale.
	That's what it is.
	I think it would draw to...
	Well, first of all, they can't fly it themselves.
	Ellison can't just jump in and fly it himself.
	You need a crew of five.
	And these people are hard to find.
	It's not like you got, you know, Concorde pilots around.
	It's a big deal.
	It's like a whole other company.
	I don't know.
	It seems like a pain in the ass.
	I'm sure you can get the guys cheap.
	There's some Concorde pilots looking for work.
	No, they're not.
	Alright, are we done with your Ask Adam segment?
	Because it was not all that interesting.
	I didn't like the answer.
	Well then, if you don't like the answer, don't ask the question.
	Let that be a lesson to you, John Charles.
	So we want to thank our executive producer for episode 276, Dave Selden, and our associate executive producer, and the only member of the 276 Club.
	The door is closed.
	No longer can you become a member, but doors are now wide open for the 277 Club.
	Chris Gielen from Gitmo Nation Haiku.
	Of course, we appreciate that.
	Remember, if you want to support this show, if you want to become an executive producer or an associate executive producer...
	Dvorak.org slash N-A Everybody else out there has one mission besides throwing a shoe.
	Propagate the formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Word.
	Order.
	Stay with me now.
	Shut up, slave.
	Just take your master.
	Sue.
	you you.
	So that's that.
	You know Armageddon is near, by the way.
	When Ashton Kutcher, you know who he is?
	Duh.
	Well, I'm just asking.
	Of course I know who he is.
	I'm the guy who does the real news items.
	I would know.
	He's in this month's edition of Men's Fitness, which is probably another one of these magazines that gay guys read.
	I don't know.
	Well, that's a bigoted thing to say, but you're probably right.
	It's not bigoted.
	It's bigoted.
	Gay guys.
	If you want a gay magazine, look at Men's Health.
	Right, that's another one of those.
	I mean, it's like saying RuPaul's Drag Race is watched by normal people.
	Please.
	Hey, well, okay, while we're on the subject, I do have a clip.
	I got another Ask Adam.
	No!
	Yes, play another one.
	Play a different one.
	Hold on a second.
	You surprised me with this.
	Okay.
	Okay, so remember that show we did about, I don't know, about four or five months ago when I had a clip of somebody saying, it wasn't LG, let's see, lesbian, gay, gay, gay.
	It was LBGTV, XML, NMOP. Yeah, it was some huge thing.
	Every sexual disorder, or quote disorder, or variation is maybe.
	Sexual variation.
	Well, there's another one that just cropped up.
	You have the clip there.
	Play it.
	Hi, I'm Antoinette with Free Speech TV, and this is your daily progressive action calendar update.
	Celebrate 20 years of the Food Not Bombs campaign in Berkeley, California.
	Come hear Palestinian activist Gadir Shafai of Aswat and Hanin McKay to discuss the Palestinian LGBTQ movement in Chicago, Illinois.
	Wait a minute.
	LBGTQ movement?
	Yeah.
	So we have lesbian, bisexual, or bicurious, gay, transgendered, Kaida?
	What's the Q for?
	What's the Q for?
	Up on the screen.
	Curious?
	No, the screen said queer.
	What?
	I'm telling you.
	You're kidding me.
	It was on the screen.
	It said queer.
	I think she misread it.
	It's LBGTAQ. She didn't say AQ. Yeah, but that's what I'm calling it.
	It's the LBGTAQ. Lesbian, gay, lesbian, bi, gay, transgendered Al-Qaeda.
	It's the LBGTAQ on the Arabian Peninsula dot com.
	Okay.
	I don't want to say, I don't want to be critical, but can people make up their minds?
	So Ashton Kutcher, if I was reading Men's Fitness, he's a good looking guy.
	A very sexy man.
	He's a sexy man.
	So in the article, because of course we don't just look at Ashton for the pictures in Men's Fitness, we read the article...
	He predicts the end of days is on its way.
	And he wants to be prepared for the inevitable madness.
	He says, it won't take very much, I'm telling you.
	It won't take much for people to hit the panic button.
	The amount of convenience that people rely on based on electricity alone.
	You start taking out electricity in satellites and people are going to lose their noodle.
	People don't have maps anymore.
	People use their iPhone or GPS systems.
	So if there's no electricity, nobody has maps.
	But he continues.
	And people are going to go, that land's not yours.
	Prove that it's yours.
	The guy's nuts.
	And the only thing you have to prove is it's yours on an electric file when it's like, what's the value of currency?
	He's been listening to Alex Jones, I'm telling you.
	Whose food is whose?
	People's alarm systems at their homes will no longer work.
	Neither will our heating, our garbage disposals, hot water heaters that run on gas but depend on electricity.
	What happens when all our modern conveniences fail?
	I'm going to be ready to take myself and my family to a safe place where they don't have to worry.
	Oh, please.
	This is the kind of crap that these guys promote, this survivalist millennial bull crap.
	This ain't going to happen.
	I was waiting for him to say, I've got my seeds.
	I got my seeds, I got my gold, I got my guns.
	Yeah, this guy probably can't even, you know, grow a daisy.
	Which, by the way, I have my seeds.
	He'd be the first guy they'd eat.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Hey now.
	Hot Pockets.
	With actual Ashton Kutcher inside.
	So, talking about these kinds of magazines, I got a copy.
	We got this the other day.
	We didn't go over it, but it was in Men's Health, which is another one of these magazines.
	There's a naked guy on the cover.
	LBGTAQ. And Men's Health has the MH lists.
	And this one was 33 simple sex tips to turn her on.
	Wait a minute.
	How many?
	33.
	That's a magic number, baby.
	Code.
	Code for us to read.
	That's the only reason for the 33, by the way.
	If you want to get on this show, just slap a 33 somewhere in your press release and you're good to go.
	You're gold.
	Gold, Jerry.
	So what are the...
	Give me some of the 33 tips.
	Well, these tips are hilarious.
	I mean, they're obviously written by somebody who's either never lived with a woman or may have other sexual inclinations.
	Because let me just read you these...
	Let me read just this one...
	We could do a million of these tips, but let me just read the one tip, number 12, and then the comments, the reader comments, which are hilarious.
	I'm sure.
	Chocolate syrup, this one's the tip.
	Can you imagine doing this?
	I mean, you gotta just imagine doing this.
	Chocolate syrup and whipped cream get all the kinky play in movies.
	Instead, turn her body into a juicer.
	Best foods for sex are fruits that you can rub onto the body, such as soft mango or papaya, says Avacadel, Ph.D. E.D., a sex therapist in California.
	Wait, E.D., is that of erectile dysfunction?
	Educational doctor.
	A sex therapist in California, an author of 12 Steps to Everlasting Love.
	Wait, wait, let me finish.
	I'm taking notes because I'm building the website for webassman.com.
	You got it.
	Quote, then devour both her and the fruit.
	Get sticky.
	Shower repeat.
	If you're Mickey Rourke, skip the shower.
	So rub a bunch of papaya all over your girlfriend, guys, and then eat the papaya off and then see what happens.
	She's going to think you're nuts.
	Meanwhile, let me read you the comments.
	This guy says, this sounds awesome.
	Can't wait to try it with the next lucky woman in my life.
	If you see something, say something.
	And here's another one.
	Here's another one.
	Some of these tips are interesting, but many would seem awkward for most guys to try and pull it off.
	It's not in their nature or part of their way.
	You have to be yourself.
	He goes on with something logical.
	Then the last guy says, my lady prefers a cucumber.
	Rim shot, please.
	No, no, no rim shot.
	All right, let me move you off of that, man.
	That's bumming me out.
	So I've been very interested in Vodafone.
	Vodafone is this UK outfit, and I believe they also received, in the financial turmoil, I could be wrong, I think they also received some kind of money.
	It's always been one of these kind of cloaked operations, and they are so, seriously, they're really, really big.
	Why not?
	I mean, I think a lot of these places have to be, because this is your best intelligence gathering mechanism.
	Well, so, yes it is, and I have a couple clips to back that up, which take us into a couple of different topics, which I'd just like to dive into with your permission.
	So we have...
	You have my permission!
	Ah.
	Permission Granted.
	So, we know that Vodafone cut off their service in Egypt, and they came out with some lame-ass excuse, which I think you actually read.
	They're like, well, you know, it was actually better if we did that.
	You know, it's like, okay, whatever.
	For the good of the customer.
	Yeah, for the good of the customer.
	But it wasn't just that.
	They actually were also forced, according to a report, to send pro-Mubarak SMS text messages.
	By the way, if you want to be taken seriously on CNN as a correspondent, you can speak in any accent you want.
	But if you are reporting on Egypt or anything in the Middle East, all you have to do is when you talk about Mubarak, you have to say it like that, or Israel, and then you're good to go.
	Because that's what I've said.
	You've got people speaking high, you know, like high street English and then all of a sudden it's...
	So it was a pro-web SMS text messages.
	I'm like, well, and then, you know, so, okay.
	Did you get any of the messages?
	What did they say?
	I don't have any of the messages, unfortunately.
	Well, maybe someone in the chat room can grab one.
	But, you know, so actually I posted something on my blog and I said, you know, for everyone who's so outraged by what's going on with the elitists in Egypt, you know, why don't you cancel your Vodafone subscription?
	Which, you know, half of the UK has.
	So just go ahead and cancel it.
	Why don't you show some real power?
	Of course, no one's doing that.
	No one's calling for it.
	It's like, oh, they had to.
	It was actually much better for the customer.
	And then I start hearing this name crop up everywhere in relation to...
	I'm sure we were invited for it, John.
	We should be paying closer attention to our mail.
	Did you get an invite to the M Health Summit?
	No.
	Well, maybe.
	I don't know.
	I get so much mail, I miss half of it.
	It might have been postal mail, actually.
	The M Health Summit.
	Everyone was there.
	Everybody was there, John.
	I'm talking about Ted Turner was there.
	Bill Clinton was there.
	This is a UN outfit.
	A United Nations outfit.
	Bill Gates was there.
	And boy, rather interesting.
	So first Bill Gates is on stage with this woman who's a doctor.
	And you have to see the video.
	It's hilarious.
	Because he's talking and she's just looking at her paper.
	She's not even looking at him.
	She's like trying to figure out what her next question is going to be and does not look at him the entire time during this answer, which comes down to cell phones and their importance in third world countries, the Middle East and Northern Africa.
	I mean, he just kind of slips that in.
	Vaccines are going to be the key in malaria.
	By the way, of course it's on the vaccine tip, but listen to the cell phone part.
	What happened there?
	Respiratory diarrheal.
	So how would cell phones fit in?
	Well, if you knew, if you could register every birth on the cell phone, get fingerprints, get a location...
	Do you hear all of this?
	Yeah, it's crazy.
	No, cell phones use it for fingerprinting, location, so everything that your phone does, he's talking about.
	Then you could...
	Take these systems where you go around and make sure the immunization happens, you could run them in a more effective way.
	Vaccine coverage in the very poorest regions, like the north of Nigeria, north of India, are below 50%.
	And so you'd get a huge improvement if you could just take the vaccines we have today.
	And get those delivered.
	So when I think about the biggest impacts, I think of patient reminders.
	Patient reminders.
	Hey, slave!
	Ding, ding!
	Slave, slave!
	Hold on a second.
	Let's stop right here.
	Slave.
	Hello, you have a text message.
	Slave.
	Now he's talking about the dirt poor, you know.
	Oh, John, you are so wrong.
	Northern Nigeria.
	They all have a cell phone.
	A cell phone that has an ID on it.
	They all.
	Yeah, no, they all.
	John.
	You are wrong, my friend.
	The next clip will explain how wrong you are.
	Vodafone is one of these companies that is rolling out cell phones to everybody for this very reason.
	So you can get a text message with a friendly patient reminder.
	Clear, but if you could get people to take TB drugs regularly, if you could get them, even in the rich world, to take medicines regularly.
	Even in the rich world.
	That's us, John.
	Remind mothers to do various things.
	Hey, mother.
	Mother, time to do something.
	Hello.
	Hello, mother.
	Mother, your telephone's telling you to do something.
	Particularly in that first year of life.
	That's a huge one.
	The supply chain for all the goods, making sure there's no counterfeits and there's no stockouts and people know what's available.
	There's quite a bit.
	Inventory management of the human resources through your cell phone.
	Can be done there.
	And then finally this sort of online digital records where the high payoff for that is vaccination coverage, which means you have to get in at it.
	Fairly early.
	Okay, so this, of course, is all leading toward vaccinations.
	But I get interested in this organization, this M Health Summit.
	And the CEO is a woman named Kathy Calvin.
	And she's one of these, I'd say, probably 50-year-old, wearing too much leather with one of these, you know, like a leather necklace...
	With a big silver, like, spearhead on it or something.
	And, you know, she was probably hot 30 years ago.
	But she's a little out of place.
	And then listen, this thing just builds up to an incredible payoff of how Vodafone is in with this organization, which is 100% United Nations.
	What I find really exciting about mHealth, and it was true also in the birth of the Internet, is how this diverse ecosystem bridges...
	It's the medical community and the technology community.
	It's civil society, government, and the private sector.
	And it's urban and rural areas.
	And that's because the mobile phone is everywhere and is used by all of them.
	And as this panel does come from diverse perspectives that color all of our own, I just want to give you two seconds about my own perspectives and why the UN Foundation itself is so committed to this area.
	No, it's because we need to...
	What do you think it is, John?
	We probably have to kill some people.
	Isn't that what the UN is all about?
	Yeah, we've got to kill some people.
	We've got to kill a couple billion.
	And we're going to do that, I think, the quickest way to inject them with something, but that's neither here nor there.
	But let's listen, and she stumbles in some interesting ways on her own words.
	You heard Ted Turner in the opening conversation talk about how the UN Foundation was created to become a bridge and a platform for organizations who wanted to work effectively with the UN. So we help by creating partnerships and initiatives, campaigns and alliances that allow people to work together with each other and with the UN to solve global problems such as global health.
	We love programs that have innovation and this one is right up there at the top.
	By the way, do you notice how these non-governmental organizations, which of course is not what the United Nations is, because these people, they have no idea what a balance sheet is.
	They just get free money.
	And they, oh, we love programs like this.
	We just love doing this.
	You ever notice that?
	Yeah, totally.
	Like, we just love something.
	So we love a challenge, especially when it's not your money.
	Right.
	We started in 2005 in a partnership with the Vodafone Foundation.
	Oh, really?
	A partnership with the Vodafone Foundation.
	Okay, let's listen.
	Based in the UK, a global telecommunications provider, looking at how we could use technology to provide health incomes.
	So that's a nice stumble.
	Provide health incomes.
	What?
	What?
	You're trying to make something happen there, Kathy?
	Let me just roll that back a sec.
	The Vodafone Foundation, based in the UK, a global telecommunications provider, looking at how we could use technology to provide health incomes, to improve health outcomes.
	I think she meant to say to provide health outcomes.
	I think it's what she meant to say.
	Yeah, she's got income on the mind.
	This is funny.
	Very funny.
	And also to do emergency response using telecommunications.
	We pioneered some of the earliest and most widely scaled mobile health systems around the world.
	Man, she just sucks.
	Mobile hosts.
	Stop speaking.
	Okay, but now she gets back on track, but wait until you hear who's behind all this.
	Particularly in Africa, doing data collection.
	We are data collection in Africa.
	Hey, how many slaves we got there?
	We ourselves learned a lot from the experience.
	We learned that the rise of mobiles presents powerful new tools.
	Tools!
	Ah, that's all.
	You know if it's a tool, you know someone's going to get whacked.
	We learned that to extend the reach and deliver on the promise of mHealth, we needed more than just a single software, a single organization, a single app, or even a single sector.
	And we knew that we needed a collaborative environment that could deliver sustainable change.
	So, who helped us set this up, Kathy?
	It's why we helped create the M-Health Alliance with the Vodafone Foundation and the Rockefeller Foundation.
	We're trying now to bring a wider group of players to the table through events like this summit.
	The Rockefeller Foundation.
	Sure.
	United Nations, Vodafone, Rockefellers.
	Red alert, red alert, everybody.
	Well, of course, this is all about vaccines.
	And for those of you who've been listening...
	Let me give you one more thing that people need to know before we continue, which is the fact that this is a PR woman.
	Yes.
	She used to work for AOL, but she came from, her big company was, of course, where do you think, what big PR company are we talking about that she used to be a big shot with?
	Microsoft?
	Hill and Knowlton.
	Oh, no, she's a Hill and Knowlton shill.
	Unbelievable.
	So she knows her business, and she actually should be denounced for that stumble.
	She should be denounced.
	We denounce her.
	We denounce her.
	Thank you for Googling.
	I hadn't done that.
	Hill and Knowlton, eh?
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, my God.
	It says it all.
	It does.
	She also looks like the type.
	So, of course, she does.
	I tell him with too much leather.
	So, this is all leading into vaccines.
	And, you know, vaccines, for those of you who have been listening to the program, starting in 2007 for the 2008 shareholders meetings, every single CEO of all the big pharmaceutical companies were saying, vaccines is our future.
	See this big hockey stick curve which goes to the right and up, which is the way we say it in financial.
	To the right and up, everybody!
	Hey!
	To the right and up.
	That's right.
	That's the way we like our charts.
	That's all vaccines.
	So there's a couple different tracks going on.
	One is the swine flu vaccine, HPV vaccine.
	We've got vaccines against cocaine addiction.
	Half of these aren't actually vaccines.
	Every time I hear it.
	It's not actually a vaccine.
	We've got whooping cough.
	Some sort of poison.
	Yeah, most of it's kind of poison.
	And so if you want to get the young kids in, and you're working at Hill& Knowlton, Right?
	So you need two things.
	One is you need a lot of money.
	And the other one is you need someone who people can trust because he was rich.
	He got really rich by being really, really smart.
	So who do we get?
	Right?
	Bill Gates.
	Because the guy must be right.
	He's smart.
	Well, listen to him talking with Sanjay Hupta.
	In a scripted interview about vaccines, John, have your kids been inoculated against measles?
	I don't believe so.
	Right.
	Well, you, sir, are a baby killer.
	$10 billion over the next 10 years to make it the year of the vaccines.
	What does that mean exactly?
	Well, over this decade, we believe unbelievable progress can be made, both inventing new vaccines and making sure they get out to all the children who need them.
	Now, I've just got to stop for a second.
	So you didn't really hear at the beginning.
	There's $10 billion that Bill Gates, apparently through his foundation, is going to be putting into vaccines.
	They always talk a big game about going to, going to.
	When do they do this?
	Well, that's a financial trick.
	I think it actually does work.
	You know, he puts all his money offshore and it multiplies.
	But I think there's a lot of pharmaceutical CEOs going, hey, Bill, hey, let me get some hookers and blow for you.
	Ten billion, I'll take some of that.
	That would be a flag for me, right?
	Yeah, okay.
	We could cut the number of children who die every year from about 9 million to half of that if we have success on it.
	And the benefits there in terms of reducing sickness, reducing the population growth, it really...
	What?
	Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
	What did Bill just say?
	The benefits are reducing population growth?
	Really, Bill?
	Let me just hear that again.
	Maybe I misheard it.
	We played this clip before, the logic he has.
	This is a new clip, John, because there's something much better.
	You remember the old word.
	Here's the logic behind this thought.
	It really allows a society a chance to take care of itself once you've made that intervention.
	There's been a lot of scrutiny of vaccines recently, specifically childhood vaccines.
	There's been a lot of news about is there a connection with autism, for example.
	What do you make of all that?
	Dr.
	Wakefield wrote a paper about this saying that he thought there was a connection.
	And people, there was lower vaccination rates as a result for a period of time in Britain than the United States.
	What are your thoughts?
	Is that true?
	Was there, for a period of time, a lower vaccination rate in the United Kingdom, in Britain?
	I don't know.
	Sanjay says so, so it must be true.
	But now, John, you're about to learn.
	You're a baby killer.
	Baby killer.
	Well, Dr.
	Wakefield has been shown, used absolutely fraudulent data.
	He had a financial interest in some lawsuits.
	He created a fake paper.
	The journal allowed it to run.
	All the other studies were done, showed no connection whatsoever, again and again and again.
	And so it's an absolute lie that has killed thousands of kids, because the mothers who heard that lie, many of them didn't have their kids take either pertussis or measles vaccine, and their children are dead today.
	What, pertussence?
	Is that what he said?
	What's pertussence?
	Ah, whooping cough.
	Okay, and so...
	Everybody gets that shot when you're a kid.
	My kid's got that shot.
	Right, but not the measles shot.
	I don't know.
	Maybe they did, but I don't know that they did.
	Well, listen to this.
	And so, you know, the people who go and engage in those anti-vaccine efforts, you know, they kill children.
	There you go.
	You baby killer, you!
	They literally kill children?
	They kill children!
	It's a very sad thing because these vaccines are important.
	Developing the vaccines, the scientific research that goes into that, obviously one thing, and then distributing things even after they've been created.
	Someone said to me once that even if the cure for HIV-AIDS came in the form of a clean glass of water, we still wouldn't get rid of AIDS in the world.
	Anyway, so this goes on and they kind of drop into all kinds of non-sequitur stuff.
	But Bill Gates is, I mean, that's a pretty big statement about Andrew Wakefield.
	He's just calling him a liar and it's very clear what side of the fence Bill Gates is on.
	But the main thing he's talking about is protestants and measles.
	And then later on, he...
	Yeah, I got that one.
	Dude, do you think I'm not leading into it?
	Okay, sorry.
	And, of course, Wakefield made the connection between autism and vaccinations.
	And Bill Gates is saying that's a lie.
	Now, this is one of the big questions on everyone's mind.
	Is there a connection?
	And the answer, as you just Skyped me...
	Which was audible on the program, which you just Skyped me, comes from a curious source, Lisa Jackson.
	Lisa Jackson.
	Who likes to look more and more like a bored hooker.
	My God, I actually, I'm considering running it as an end of show clip.
	Because she's so annoyed with this congressional panel who are asking her questions because, of course, the president on January 18th signed an executive order which allows the EPA to begot every agency.
	Hey, with the FDA, we're just going to allow some modified alfalfa.
	We can do whatever we want.
	We can do whatever we want and we're in charge and the president said so!
	And she has her hand on her head like, do I have to answer all these questions, really?
	She looks like a 12-year-old that is being scolded and doesn't give a crap.
	But she has the answer, and it comes here to you live on C-SPAN, which we watch so you don't have to.
	The president had an executive order stating that agencies should consider when taking a look at the costs and benefits.
	He said, quote, values that are difficult or impossible to quantify.
	Including equity, human dignity, fairness, and disruptive impacts.
	I think it's easy to measure unemployment, 9.4%.
	I know that our debt has gone up $3 trillion.
	This, by the way, is Barrasso.
	What's his name?
	Barrasso?
	Senator Brasso?
	Yeah.
	And he's not happy with her, by the way.
	And he's got some interesting things that we could listen to later on if we wanted to.
	So he's setting her up now, and he's about to pop the question.
	...dollars in the last two years.
	We have three million more unemployed in the last two years.
	We know that burdensome regulations do have an impact on jobs, and it is quantifiable.
	My question is, is the language in the President's executive order...
	Does it allow you to basically use anything you want in terms of saying benefits outweigh the costs?
	I think the President's far-reaching executive order makes clear that there are some things that are hard to price.
	Our science may be good, but I don't know how you price the ability to try to forestall a child who may not get autism if they're not exposed to contaminated water.
	And I think the language in that order is about those things where we can be protective for a reasonable amount of money to make sure that our children and future generations are not guinea pigs.
	They're not guinea pigs.
	So she said it right there.
	Kids get autism from stuff in the water.
	It's solved, John!
	Clear as mud.
	It's solved.
	It's all over.
	We know it now.
	We don't need Andrew Wakefield.
	We don't need Bill Gates.
	We just need clean water.
	And Lisa Jackson is going to save all of our kids from autism.
	Hold on.
	Where's Jenny McCarthy's number?
	We've got to call her.
	Let her know that it's the water.
	It's not the vaccines.
	It's the water.
	This is crazy!
	But what's crazier is, and you can go to dvorak.org slash blog and look at this clip.
	We have it here.
	It's just a look at the woman with this glib, smug...
	It's just astonishing to me that somebody like this represents the government.
	She just must think she's the queen of Egypt.
	She needs a shoe thrown at her head.
	She's unbelievable.
	A high heeled, a croc for all I care.
	Pie in the face would probably be.
	No, no, no.
	Shoes.
	Shoes is so dehumanizing.
	A shoe is much, much better.
	A stinky shoe you take right off your foot.
	A stinky shoe.
	A stinky shoe.
	Like, remember those roots?
	Remember those?
	Remember roots?
	Yeah, I remember roots.
	Yeah, throw a roots at her.
	They look like old, they look like, feet look like duck, webbed duck feet.
	Anyway, we have a jingle for people like...
	Experts on the payroll.
	There you go.
	Big expert.
	Big expert.
	So, they are just...
	And, you know, there's a...
	The White House...
	I went to the...
	I always go to whitehouse.gov to take a look at our president's weekly speech, which wasn't all that interesting this week.
	His speeches are getting worse.
	I think he lost that speech writer, that young kid that was a speech writer that gave him all the good stuff.
	Yeah, the Yes We Can kid.
	Yeah, the kid had to go back to school.
	Yeah.
	But I always like reading the White House blog, because that's where the new kids are.
	And this is written by Dan Pfeiffer.
	I don't know who he is.
	He may not be a kid.
	And it was interesting, because, you know, you doth protesteth too much, me thinketh.
	So it says, you can't believe everything you read.
	This is the homepage of whitehouse.gov.
	And I think if someone's, like, posting something on the homepage of arguably the most important website in our civil life, this must be pretty interesting.
	As valuable as the internet can be in helping to spread information, most people know that you can't believe everything you read, and they should check the source before relaying every alarming story they read.
	This is because the Drudge Report posted something about this.
	One such story is going around the internets over the past two days claiming that the Obama administration is somehow responsible for the rolling blackouts in Texas that have caused terrible hardship for so many Texans.
	The source is questionable.
	The story unquestionably false.
	And what's funny is in this whole rebuttal, and the idea there is that because of local EPA regulations, they weren't able to either activate or open up more coal-fired electricity plants, because a couple of them froze up, I guess.
	Which doesn't make much sense to me, but okay.
	The whole thing is bogus.
	So what is it then?
	Because they have rolling blackouts, literally, in Texas.
	Remember when we had rolling blackouts in California?
	Oh, that scam?
	And it was like, oh, it's never going to be the same.
	We're always going to have rolling blackouts because there's too much demand for electricity.
	We haven't got enough supply and peak oil and all the rest of it.
	We can't keep up.
	People better get used to it.
	And then they found it was a big scam.
	It was planned.
	It was just to scam the public so they had to pay more for electricity.
	And then once that was revealed, we haven't had a rolling blackout in California ever since Schwarzenegger got in office.
	What changed?
	Well, they're saying it's the weather.
	It's bullshit.
	It's the same thing.
	This is a scam from the get-go.
	And it's probably got something to do with...
	I bet you when it's finally revealed...
	Of course, nobody does anything about it after it's revealed.
	Nobody throws all the politicians out of office because they're complicit.
	Because they're the ones who panic the public.
	Like Gray Davis did.
	Oh, we're going to have to get used to it.
	So they point to a Tom Fowler written article in the Houston Chronicle.
	So the White House rebuts this with their unquestionable proof by pointing to another mainstream media article where the Houston Chronicle says it's because some pipes froze and they couldn't fire up these coal-fired, which of course, these are the guys being shut down by the EPA. Did you know that Texas gets all their extra power from Mexico?
	No, I didn't know that.
	Yeah, and guess who supplies Mexico with their coal-fired plants?
	General Electric?
	Yeah, bingo!
	When you listen to the show enough, you just guess these things right.
	How beautiful is that?
	So they shut the plants down in Texas, and then they get it from Mexico, where, of course, there's no regulations for General Electric to build something in Mexico.
	Yeah, they can build a piece of crap.
	Yeah, do whatever.
	Who gives a crap?
	And then the Mexicans say, the Mexican power officials were, quote, very helpful to us during the peak demand Wednesday evening and Thursday morning, but by Thursday afternoon, Mexico stopped shipping power to Texas so it could deal with cold weather demand south of the border.
	What?
	What?
	Did it freeze in Mexico while I was sleeping?
	So someone made a call and said, shut it down, boys.
	It's exactly like Enron.
	Yeah, totally.
	It's a different scam that we maybe haven't figured out yet.
	It'll be figured out.
	But by the time it's figured out, nobody will care because the electricity will be back on.
	And the same crooks will be in office.
	You know, I mean, it's a miracle that we got Gray Davis out through a recall, which I thought was wild.
	But, you know, what difference does it make?
	It didn't make any real difference in the long haul.
	And, you know, things just keep going on, and the General Electric guys keep pocketing more money, and the White House guys, you know, since when?
	Actually, my wife and I traced it back to Van Buren.
	Since when did somebody become elected president of the United States somehow, magically, with making $200,000 a year in income, which is what the president makes, something like that, how do they walk out of office worth $300 million, you know, or more?
	By investing in oil stocks.
	Duh.
	By the way, we have a human resource as a part of our massive audience, Mr.
	Oil, in the chat room.
	And of course, I only know these people by their chat name handle.
	But you know, John, you know as well as I do that we have people who work at Goldman Sachs who listen to the show.
	Oh, yeah.
	We've got people in Zook, Zook.
	Switzerland, who listens to the show.
	A lot of their assertions, I'm sure.
	Yeah, well, you got that one right.
	Yeah, they do.
	While they're counting their money, because some of these guys have so much cash that they're just basically counting all day.
	But that's okay.
	That's fine.
	Anyway, so I'm talking to Mr.
	Oil, who somehow I don't think he's rich.
	He might be, but it doesn't matter.
	He's a human resource, and he's helping out.
	And he flips his lid over the clip you played last week from the Shell executive about the...
	Descripted clip from the ex-CEO of Shell Oil.
	Right.
	So in that clip, and I don't think we have to play it.
	We could if you wanted to.
	I don't know if it was the Shell guy, the ex-CEO, but someone said, well, this 13-cent wholesale gasoline hike we just witnessed, right?
	That was in the clip.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so you acquired that clip before showtime, so it must have been Wednesday evening or at latest...
	It was Wednesday.
	Okay, so Mr.
	Oil is involved somehow with the business and he says that 13 cent hike was not publicly known until Thursday 8 p.m.
	UK time.
	Oh really?
	And what happened at that very moment is these huge swaps took place and guess who made a killing on oil stored up at a lower price?
	Mark Rich, Glencore.
	Oh good old Mark.
	We need him to listen to the show.
	He should be laughing half the time.
	Who cares?
	He should be sending us money just for the entertainment guy.
	Hey, Mark Rich, listen to me.
	I thought that whole segment was rigged.
	Well, it was rigged.
	Well, Mr.
	Oil went on with a hypothesis, and he did this in the chat room so I feel I can talk about it publicly.
	He said, look, what's going to happen is two things.
	First of all, That goes up, and then something else happens, which is the fuel duty.
	And he says, in the UK, and it may be the same in America, the name duty is used for a very specific reason, because it is a form of tax that can be taxed.
	And I don't know if that happens in the U.S. It might.
	But a fuel duty is essentially a tax or a price hike that is put on top of primarily fuel to get people not to use so much of it.
	But that in itself is taxable.
	We have to do a little work on that word because you're right.
	The word duty is used a lot kind of interchangeably with other words.
	Fees, another thing that's a word that's used for specific reasons.
	And taxes is another word.
	These are specific words used for a specific reason.
	We have to figure out what duty really is.
	Good point.
	So then he lays it on me.
	Then he really freaks me out.
	He says, okay...
	So, of course, and by the way, there's all these VLCCs, which are very large crude carriers, oil tankers.
	Yeah, the monsters.
	Right, and so they're all sitting off the, you know, so these inventories went down, then they're all built up, and so I've got, you know, they're all sitting in, they're all kind of waiting for this Egypt thing to make the $200 bail oil, and they want to close off the Suez Canal, etc., etc., So, of course, the price of crude oil and the wholesale gasoline price will fluctuate dramatically, but not at the pump, because we're going to keep it nice and high for the slaves.
	We're going to keep that crazy.
	And he says, this is where he freaked me out.
	He says, you read Atlas Shrugged?
	I said, yes.
	He said, wait, no, wait, wait, wait.
	He says, so, by the way, you know that all of Goldman Sachs has a copy.
	Everyone's got a copy of this book.
	He says, what happens in the United States of America When fuel prices at the pump are $6 a gallon.
	What do you think, John?
	What happens?
	Well, the first thing that'll happen, and what should happen, is people should vote everyone out of office.
	But what seems to me that what will happen, people just travel less and use less gas.
	No, no, you're close.
	Okay.
	We take the train!
	All aboard!
	Train's good, plane's bad.
	Woo!
	Which, of course, are not high-speed electrical rail.
	They run on diesel oil, which has a very different tax bracket or duty bracket for transportation.
	Like, you know, in many countries you can get...
	Someone's taking the friggin' train.
	We will straight to the FEMA camp.
	And we'll be happy to go in because we'll be hungry and tired and without shelter.
	They're not going to have to round anybody up.
	They're just going to say, hey, would you like some food?
	Come on over here.
	Dow Jones reports right here, the price of oil, Dow Jones, Newswire, the price of oil could jump to $200 per barrel if the crisis in Egypt escalates and leads to a shutdown of the Suez Canal, according to Venezuelan oil minister Rafael Ramirez.
	You know, it seems to me, I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I remember the last scenario about two years ago when we talked about the $200 oil, and we're making predictions, and then the oil...
	Well, it went to $150,000.
	It went to $147, I believe.
	It never hit $150.
	But anyway, whatever the case...
	It was a good try.
	Sorry?
	It was a good try.
	We tried to make it all the way up.
	We did all right.
	Then it fell to $33, which is more reasonable.
	Where it should be, right?
	Well, it should be $40, they think.
	But $25 was a historic place for it to sit.
	But anyway, the point is that...
	It seemed as if this was a grand experiment because it was Goldman Sachs.
	Oh, it's going to go to 200, no doubt about it.
	And then, of course, the scam was revealed that it was all being speculated upon.
	Yeah, J.P. Morgan.
	They pulled the rug out from under it and fell.
	So it seems to me that it was a grand experiment to see.
	It goes like this.
	There's a bunch of guys in the boardroom going, hey, hey, hey, I got an idea.
	What do you think will happen?
	If it goes to 200, I don't know, let's hire a bunch of think tanks.
	And they get all these guys, everybody, the Brookings Institute, everybody does a report, they send them all in, and they look and they go, well, this will be interesting because this will cause this, and this will do this, and this will do that, and there's a whole bunch of fallouts.
	Hey, hey, hey, you got to do the voice, John.
	You don't sound evil when you talk like that.
	Yeah.
	Hey, I got an idea.
	Hey, John, I got an idea.
	Let's start some crap in Egypt.
	That'll show them.
	That's the laugh that gets me.
	So they do this deal to see what was going to happen.
	It failed.
	So they say, okay, shh, let's just shut up about it for a while.
	Let's try it again in a couple of years.
	When it's wound down a little bit, we can give another shot.
	We'll try something different.
	This time we'll put a little, we're going to crank it up.
	We're going to have better reasons for it to go up.
	Let's, you know, create a stir in Egypt and do all.
	I'm telling you, this is rigged.
	Of course.
	It's going to go to 200.
	Yeah.
	Or it's going to try at least, try to go to 200 again.
	It's going to collapse again, which is going to be an opportunity for people who want to go short, by the way.
	It's going to collapse again, but they're going to try to get it out there to see.
	I think they're looking for some effect.
	They're looking for some real money-making killer deal.
	Well, it's not just the oil guys.
	But what would it be?
	What do you mean, what would it be?
	Where's the easy money in this deal?
	The easy money is in the Glencore IPO. What are you talking about?
	You get in on the Glencore IPO, you're good as gold.
	That thing's going to be like a rocket.
	And you sell your insider shares exactly in like 18 months after the lockup.
	You don't even need to do that.
	You can sell collars.
	That lockup thing is a fake.
	By the way, the public should know about this.
	That lockup thing is bogus.
	It sounds good on paper, but there's a thing called a collar that you can sell.
	Any number of institutions will write these things for you.
	And you can basically get out of that stock the next day.
	That actually happened to me.
	You sold collars?
	Yep.
	On Ask Jeeves.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, what happened was they went public, and I was worth, like, so much money overnight.
	And, of course, I was like, ah, shit, I got, like, an 18-month lockup.
	And then, you can Google this, you'll find it.
	Somehow the insiders had done something.
	It wasn't even a collar.
	They figured out that a million and a half shares could be sold that was owned by insiders.
	So everyone got to sell some of their shares, including me.
	And I wrote all the rest down to 30 cents, which was great.
	We should have sold callers on the rest.
	Anyway, Egypt gas pipeline attacked.
	Unknown attackers blow up North Sinai pipeline that supplies gas to Jordan.
	Gee, do you think it would make the riots go a little faster in Jordan?
	Yeah, Jordan's taking way too long to blow up.
	Yeah, so we need to cut off their gas.
	It's just unbelievable how scripted this is.
	And it really is.
	It really, really, really is.
	And I think that the people who...
	And it's all about oil or natural resources, let's put it that way.
	I think Israel's going to get involved.
	They're going to have Jordan goes down.
	There's going to be a lot of fish shaking.
	Maybe there'll be a little war that'll jack up the price even further.
	Yeah, of course.
	They're pulling out all the stops.
	To get to this $200 oil thing, because at $200, which is the number they keep saying, it's not like it's a big secret.
	At $200, something happens.
	And I think it's more than Glencore.
	Something happens.
	Glencore is the biggest corporation in the world, John.
	What are you talking about?
	This is not small potatoes, this IPO. It's just not reported on.
	An IPO, what's it going to do, double in price?
	I'm talking about something like...
	60 billion.
	They're talking about 60 billion just for the insiders.
	It's so heavy that it's not going to be able to triple or go 10x.
	It's not like a credit default swap that you pay 10 cents for and you get back $100,000.
	Well, that would be on the downside when we do that.
	Well, the downside will be interesting.
	We can make it both ways.
	Listen, you and I... Actually, the downside is less risky.
	So listen, here's what we need to do.
	We need to work out how...
	If we know the scam, we can make money on it, and then we can just make money and do the show and not be worried about anything.
	Like, what is that?
	Rent.
	Rent.
	Rent and my electrical bill.
	It's like, I'm going to have to turn the stream off at night.
	I'm sorry, guys.
	We've got to turn off.
	What if they do rolling blackouts?
	I've got to get a generator now?
	You know what could easily happen?
	They could easily just say, oh, we're going to do rolling blackouts.
	They could.
	I mean, they did it before and nobody cared.
	Everyone went along with the program, especially in the Bay Area, all these stooges.
	Oh, it's peak oil.
	Oh, we can't afford it.
	Oh, it's too much demand.
	Oh, we're doomed.
	I mean, that's what Ashton Kutcher is actually sounding like.
	Yeah, exactly.
	One of these, you know, Chicken Littles running around.
	But he has a place to go to.
	I want to know where Ashton Kutcher is going, and I want to be there.
	Because, you know, we're going to see, like, Demi Moore on the beach.
	And a bunch of hippies.
	Yeah.
	Dude, you and I will be...
	Look, I think...
	So I think...
	I was talking about Australia, but I have a feeling that Gitmo Nation Kiwi may be better.
	And I'll tell you why.
	The charity that Mickey and I work for, Research, so their biggest donor, I'm talking a guy like, you know, he's like a medical VC in the Valley, and you can look his name up.
	And he's, I mean, the guy, he puts a lot of money into this charity.
	Probably a million a year, personally.
	And so, you know, I was talking to these two women who were up here, I was doing some video work for them.
	Should be a night!
	Well, he doesn't give to our charity, unfortunately.
	I was thinking of a barony for him, but I just haven't pitched him yet.
	But anyway, so they're saying, oh, what do you think about...
	Because they know who I am.
	Just like I checked out their charity, they checked me out and they went, well...
	Yeah, everybody just due diligence.
	Yeah, they did due diligence.
	They said, well, as long as you don't do that in our board meetings, it's okay.
	And I said, so what do you think about how things are going?
	And I'm like really holding back.
	I'm like, well, you know, I'm a little concerned.
	Yeah, you know, Russell.
	Oops.
	Well, that's his first name.
	Yeah, he's really dire.
	He's the most dire guy.
	He's going to New Zealand right now to find a house.
	He's going to go move down there.
	I know a guy who moved down to New Zealand thinking the same kind of thing, but this was some years ago, and he moved back.
	Really?
	New Zealand is boring.
	No!
	It's beautiful.
	And that's what I'm told for everyone who's tried to do this trick.
	They go down there, and it's a very socialist place, and there's a lot of political correctness going on.
	No, we don't want...
	It's like Berkeley.
	It's like a big Berkeley.
	It's like a Berkeley with a little cleaner.
	It's like a Berkeley meets Disney World.
	With a lot of sheep.
	Kind of clean with a lot of sheep.
	The food is good and probably more natural and not so contaminated as the poison food we eat.
	But it's boring and there's nothing to do and you get sick of it after a few weeks and the next thing you know you're moving back to anywhere.
	I don't know, man.
	Look, it's either Australia or New Zealand.
	I think the women are hot in Australia.
	The guys are hot.
	They're all a bunch of ex-hookers.
	The guys are hot in Australia.
	They're all prisoners and hookers.
	That's right.
	It's my peeps.
	It's my people.
	And they've bred to these very good-looking women, and they're all pretty funny.
	They all have a sense of humor.
	Exactly.
	I've never run into an Australian without a sense of humor.
	Yeah.
	Well, so I'm torn.
	I'm torn between sheep and hot women.
	Let me think.
	Hmm.
	Sheep or hot women.
	Let me think.
	Wait a minute.
	What did you say, Mickey?
	You don't want to go to New Zealand?
	Do you want to go to Australia?
	Maybe.
	Maybe?
	She says Australia.
	The other thing is that Australia's got issues.
	There's lots of hot women and men in Australia.
	They're all hookers and prisoners.
	Hey, hey, hey, whoa!
	Sorry about that.
	There's this...
	That's one mother I'd like to...
	I'm sorry.
	Make your point and we can move on.
	I forgot.
	My point is that this is a pipe dream.
	Move to Chile and buy a vineyard if you're going to do something like that.
	All right.
	Well, we can plan on that.
	It's the no agenda retirement plan.
	What are you going to do?
	You're sitting there in Berkeley.
	You're in the middle of the crazies.
	Yeah.
	What are you doing there?
	What am I doing in Berkeley?
	Yeah, why don't you leave?
	I need to be in the high-tech milieu in northern Silicon Valley.
	It suits me fine.
	Bull crap.
	Please.
	It's true.
	What, for that X3 show?
	Yeah.
	X3.mevio.com.
	Yeah, you need to be in the milieu for that.
	That's for sure.
	All right.
	Anyway, I'm coming up to see you.
	So we're going to plot our retirement.
	What, are we having dinner Tuesday?
	Yeah.
	Monday, I think.
	No.
	No.
	Yeah.
	No, I'm going to the Mevio office Tuesday.
	Yeah, and then we're going to go to lunch.
	That's Tuesday.
	Tuesday's on lunch and dinner was supposed to be Monday.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Well, it'll be good to see you.
	Whatever.
	I think.
	I doubt it.
	Yeah, you're right.
	Alright, let's thank some people who actually support this program and help us with our rent and other bills that we have to pay to keep us...
	It allows us to call out Hill and Knowlton.
	Yes.
	As stooge as they are.
	With that woman who's head of the UN thing.
	And voter phone.
	PR chick from AOL. It's like, we can't do that.
	Our dial-up business is just awesome.
	We can't do that without your support because we can't get advertisers.
	If we did, we'd have to sell out.
	We're not going to do that.
	Yeah, we couldn't sit here and say anything about any of those companies.
	Couldn't say anything.
	Because it'd be like, hello, yeah, hi, it's Kathy from Hill and Knowlton.
	Listen, I know it's not directly related, but another one of our clients really has a problem with how you talk about Vodafone.
	So a subsidiary who was indirectly sponsored the show was like a really kind of...
	By the way, and that's exactly what would happen.
	Brandon Birkendale from Warren, Maine.
	I've been listening to the show for about three weeks now, and he really enjoyed it, so he figured he ought to avoid becoming a douche and contributed to the show, purchased a No Agenda Challenge coin, and was very pleased that it arrived in only three days.
	I'm also quite impressed with the creative ways your listeners come up with to support the show.
	I also wanted to mention that I was doing a little research into the Council on Foreign Relations recently, and somewhat surprised to see George Clooney listed as a member on their website.
	Good Don't say!
	As well as Angelina Jolie and Brian Williams and some other quote-unquote journalists.
	And Aaron Burnett, my former girlfriend.
	Yeah, $11.11.
	He's now a member of that club.
	Thank you so much, Brent.
	David Lesko, or Lechko, from Morgan Hill, California.
	Hello, John and Adam.
	Here's my first donation of $111.
	I just turned 49, was born in 1962, and I understand you've offered some extra karma for just such an occasion.
	Oh, yes, we certainly do.
	You've got karma.
	He's also signed up for the $11.11 monthly donation.
	Well, you know why?
	It's because he did the math.
	And his year is 1949.
	And, wait, no, his birth year.
	What is his birth year?
	1962.
	And he added that to 49.
	And he came up with 111.
	Yeah, and if anybody does that, they're obligated to donate $111.
	That's right.
	That's how it works.
	Let's see.
	We got Roman Andrusco from Bradford, Ontario, Canada.
	$99.99.
	Skylar Viscani of Bakersfield, California.
	Needs more karma.
	Yeah, Skylar is donating every single show now.
	He says the karma is really kicking ass.
	And he sent me an email saying he's going to continue to donate.
	He said that he got karma last week and he immediately got a huge load.
	He's a trucker.
	He got a huge load immediately, which was a quick turnaround.
	So, there you go.
	We have truckers listening to our show, all right?
	That's right.
	Russell Rhodes, a new donor, Tallahassee, Florida, 6789, finally becoming a donor, not a boner.
	I would like to wish my son, Vikram Rhodes, a happy first birthday on February 8th.
	Don't give in to the swine flu hysteria.
	And both him and mom, Ruchi, are fine.
	You guys rock, down with mainstream media.
	Do we have him on the list?
	No, I was just looking at that.
	I'm going to put him on now for the birthdays.
	Vikram Rhodes.
	Mm-hmm.
	That's kind of a cool name, by the way.
	Vic Ram Rhodes!
	It's a great name.
	Mark Wallert, another first-time donor, 6666, Rocky Point, New York.
	I'm a long-time listener, first-time donor.
	2% reduction in Social Security withholding has afforded me the ability to join the one-point percenters.
	My girlfriend and I finally found our perfect first home this week.
	Only to have someone else's offer be accepted about an hour before submitting cards.
	Oh no!
	A little bit of extra karma to help you guys on your way.
	You've got karma.
	There you go.
	Ken Burchill in Ottawa, Canada, $60.
	Do we have him listed as a birthday?
	No.
	I think Eric needs a spanking.
	Well, he definitely dropped the ball here.
	The birthdays, yeah.
	Okay.
	Henry Cunningham, Hamilton, Ohio.
	Hi, John.
	I'm a starving college student donating the last of my spending money as I may not be a college student here for long.
	Attended the University of Cincinnati where the geniuses at the College of Engineering recently announced they are eliminating the computer science program.
	What?
	In this day and age?
	Science!
	Science!
	They've been running huge deficits in recent years.
	Yeah, sure.
	And the construction of our third football stadium in Maine seems to have pushed us past the brink of financial destruction.
	You know, you don't need to keep making football stadiums every 10 minutes.
	Anyway, $55.10.
	Joseph Esposito, Stockton, California.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Joe and the dish slave here.
	Oh, right.
	We know the dish slave.
	We know him.
	I'd appreciate a mention of my podcast, The Ozone Nightmare, and my wife's Etsy store, Beloved Bracelets.
	Also, please send my mom some karma if you could.
	She could use it.
	Coming at you.
	We love sending karma to moms.
	You've got karma.
	Sergei Kuznetsov in Ladera Ranch, California.
	No Agenda became my main source of news in the last few years.
	That shows you the problem in this country.
	Yeah, it does.
	I had to completely kill off TV and radio, so news coming from No Agenda and the interwebs.
	Keep up the good work.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	By the way, you can also get a lot of extra news, extra, extra, from the No Agenda show notes, which...
	The show notes are unbelievably great.
	Yeah, and...
	I just wanted to thank the people, because I've got a little group of human resources who are actually working on it.
	Your friend of mine, P.G. Kelly, actually, John, is working on show notes for us.
	Willem Trump, Brian Ann, Robert Leather, Burt B., Mike C., John M.S., Dennis C., and SICK2234, all these aliases, no idea who these people are.
	But they contribute to the show notes through our internal show note system, which is kicking ass, and there's ten times as much news and information in the show notes than we actually can get to in a single program.
	So if you want to see more, go ahead and check that out at noagendashow.com.
	Joseph, where did they leave off?
	I don't know.
	Did you doze off?
	Oh, it's Sergei.
	I did Sergei.
	I did Sergei.
	I did Mark Borghesey.
	In Las Vegas, Nevada, lost wages.
	I was going to place another Super Bowl bet, but thought I could go in for a sure thing instead.
	Double nickels on the dime to us.
	I also redirected another site to No Agenda Arsenal, GMO Hell.
	No, GMO Hell No.
	Hell No.
	.com.
	www.gmohellno.com.
	Beautiful.
	He gave us $55 even.
	William Kennenberg in Kalamazoo, Michigan.
	Dear John and Adam, I'm an aspiring writer.
	Had my first article published, but buy a copy at xxcmag.com.
	Any tips from a noted author, John?
	Yeah, get out of the business.
	Quit while you're ahead, kid.
	You have to write a lot.
	Hey dudes, please mention my full name.
	Our buddy Daniel Borkman in Malmo.
	I think it's Bjorkman.
	Bjorkman.
	Hey dudes, please mention my full name Daniel Bjorkman and keep being awesome.
	I almost...
	I almost...
	I don't know.
	I almost lulls off the highway sometimes.
	Yeah, laughs.
	Laughs out loud while driving.
	Jackson Gray, Springfield, Virginia.
	Use my alias Jackson Gray and give me some karma for a new job and a preemptive de-douching for looking for a new...
	Give him the double.
	Oh, double shot coming up of de-douching and karma-nizing.
	You've been de-douched.
	You've got karma.
	I'm getting good at that, at the double shot.
	Last time was better.
	50 bucks from him.
	Carl Ransom, Christchurch, New Zealand.
	Hey, my future home.
	Yes.
	Adam's future home.
	The future home of the crackpot command.
	Hey, careful, Mickey.
	God damn it.
	$50 donation to recommend that people watch the NZ TV show Outrageous Fortune starring Robin Malcolm.
	Yeah, actually, I should watch that.
	I need to study up on the new homeland.
	Greg Birch, Sir Black Knight Greg, from Port Angeles, Washington, is once 50 bucks in for Michael Birch, turns 21 today, his son.
	He's on the list.
	Ann Anonymous, $50.
	Mike Westerfield, Nichelle Moore from Kingsdale, North Carolina, $50 each.
	Torsten...
	Tristan.
	Torsten...
	Oh, I'm sorry, Torsten Wibman.
	Wibman.
	Wibman.
	Torsten Wibman.
	Wibman.
	Yeah, in Wiesbaden, Deutschland.
	Hello, John and Adam.
	I'm listening to your show for quite some time now.
	It really kicks off my commute.
	That's what we do in the morning.
	I'm currently working as an assistant professor for geography at a German university.
	My department grants me research semester as a visiting professor in the upcoming fall-winter in the U.S. I would appreciate a little karma to get a positive response from at least one of my applications.
	I'm looking for that O-1 visa, huh?
	Well, here you go.
	You've got karma.
	And Travis Wynn and Tristan Lennon should also be mentioned as they're on their way to nighthood.
	Actually, Tristan's already in.
	Sir Tristan, yeah, he's already in.
	Sir Tristan Lennon is already in.
	So, very important to also thank all of our monthly donors.
	You're really the base that always is there for us, although we certainly could use a few more members of the 277 Club coming up on Thursday, as well as some executive producerships.
	Typically, the time to get in on that is...
	When we've had a low week, so this would kind of be your cue for that.
	Yeah, to qualify, exactly.
	But it's the $5 a month.
	And please feel free, in addition to a one-time executive producership, to sign up for that $5 a month and just tell me you don't get the value for value.
	Just look at all the money you're spending.
	A lot of people are upgrading to $11.11 a month, which is a pretty reasonable deal.
	And go to Dvorak.org slash NA or channel Dvorak.com slash NA or just go to the NoAgendaShow.com and link there.
	Dvorak.org slash N-A It's your birthday, birthday of No Agenda!
	All right, I think we've got them all now as we've gone through the list.
	Sir Greg Birch says happy birthday to his son Michael Birch who turns 21 today.
	You're a man, son.
	Vikram Rhodes, his birthday will be celebrated on the 8th of February.
	Chris Heelan, 44, tomorrow.
	And finally, Ken Birch Hill to round out the list.
	Happy birthday from your buds here at the No Agenda Show.
	We've got a knighthood, John.
	Hey, all right.
	Yeah, Mike Westerfield.
	Let me just grab my blade here.
	I think with his $50 donation for today's program, he has rounded out his knighthood.
	And I saw, I think, a tweet from Eric.
	Now that the...
	Now that the challenge coins are all taken care of, he's starting on the ring.
	And you know that he actually will get that done, and I'm very happy to hear that.
	So, you can look forward to that, Mike Westerfield.
	And today, we proudly pronounce you Sir Mike Westerfield, Knight of the No Agenda Roundtable.
	Please enjoy Hooker's Blow, Rent Boys, and Cabernet.
	It's all here at the Roundtable.
	And we really appreciate your support.
	And I also got a draft, and I have to forward that to you, John, of a baronies certificate.
	Yeah?
	Yeah, what it might look like as we divvy up the countries of the world.
	Yeah, Eric's going to actually, with No Agenda Nation website, which is interesting to check out for people anyway, but he's going to work on, of course we're going to do a discussion, how are we going to divide up the baronies and then there's the dukedoms and fiefdoms and there's a little subdivisions in there because somebody was...
	The earls.
	You've got the earls, the dukes.
	Yeah, we'll figure it out.
	And then, you know, this will go into the public domain.
	And then when the end of the world takes place, and this is uncovered, you know, some thousands of years from now, there will be a document showing who owned what.
	Well, your heirs will have a right to it.
	And your heirs will end up with a country.
	It'll be fantastic.
	And you know what?
	And you will actually go down as a cool dude, or dudette, as it were.
	Because you hooked your brothers and sisters up.
	I did have one more karma mention.
	Dr.
	John Calvin Jones says, I just got off the phone with Mississippi Valley State University.
	Yes, home of Jerry Rice.
	Does that say anything?
	It doesn't mean anything to you, John?
	It means something to everybody listening to the show except you.
	Yesterday they offered me $5,400 to teach three grad classes for this spring semester.
	I made a counter-offer and asked you for some karma.
	The Secretary just said they agreed to all of my terms and I will be getting paid more than tenured professors there.
	The karma works!
	You need to invite karma calls and or more people to pledge so karma can be sent to others.
	As soon as I get my deposit, I will pass along my good fortune in the name of spreading good karma.
	And we can't promise anything on this, but somehow there's something going on with this karma thing and most people are very positive about its effects.
	I'm happy to report.
	Indeed.
	Kind of a little vindication, which I thought was kind of nice.
	I think it was 2008...
	The 2008 season, when I was at the Curry...
	What was that?
	The cottage.
	I was in the UK. And I kept saying that there's a space war going on over our head.
	There's a space war.
	They're shooting at each other in space.
	Yeah, this is a topic that we've dropped.
	Yeah, well, because you scoffed at me, as usual.
	And so now WikiLeaks comes out with a cable...
	That in 2008, 2009...
	Do we know this is really WikiLeaks or is this a hoax?
	Well, it's...
	Who the hell knows, right?
	But, you know...
	The cable...
	No, no, I'm right there with you.
	But the cable looks official.
	It has all kinds of numbers.
	Okay, what does it say?
	It says the United States and China were in a military standoff over space.
	And they were shooting...
	So what the cable says is that they were shooting their own missiles down to prove...
	That they could do it, and they could, you know, their own satellites, not missile satellites.
	Remember that satellite that, oh, yeah, it got blown, it crashed into something else, and I said, space war?
	And you were like, ah, that's crazy.
	So it turns out it was.
	They were lasering these things out of the sky.
	And the cable says that the U.S. shot their own satellite, and then China shot theirs.
	It says, oh, yeah, we can do that, too.
	I think it's probably more likely that the U.S. shot the Chinese satellite.
	But they're lasering it with...
	There's all kinds of...
	Well, actually, it could be that the U.S. shot the Chinese satellite and then the Chinese shot the U.S. satellite.
	Yeah, totally possible.
	Anyway, so it's now confirmed.
	And these were expired satellites anyway, I believe.
	Because there's so much junk in space.
	Besides, it'd be a pretty cool target range, but now they're thinking of developing this huge net.
	Yeah, I know.
	It's like, please.
	Please stop with your net.
	Why don't you net the Pacific Ocean while you're at it?
	I mean, it's like ridiculous.
	I tried to get up early this morning.
	Do the math on the amount of, you know, just forget it.
	I woke up at 3.30 and I realized I was an hour too early because the National Reconnaissance Office sent off another rocket from Vandenberg this morning at 4.26.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, a smaller one, Minotaur rocket, Minotaur 1.
	Oh, you didn't get to see the trail?
	No, I fell back asleep until 5.30 when my alarm went off.
	Oh.
	Because they were supposed to do it yesterday, but it got scrubbed because one of their transmitters wasn't working.
	And these guys just got an endless supply of money.
	Oh, yeah.
	I would just shoot another spy satellite into space.
	Eh, whatever.
	Go for it.
	Who cares?
	Yeah, it's nice.
	I'm sure it must be a lot of fun working at Vandenberg.
	Can I push the button today?
	Can I push the button?
	Sure, you can push the button.
	I had some...
	Oh, here was a little funny one I found under the...
	So if you're in charge of propagating the...
	Global warming meme.
	And let's face it, the bankers who are ultimately going to receive the carbon credit money, I would say they're pretty much at the top of the food chain of in control of the climate change carbon credit scam.
	If you really wanted to ensure your future, what would you do, John?
	So let's say you're the Rothschilds.
	I'm just naming a bank.
	What would I do?
	Yeah, if you really wanted to ensure that everyone bought into the climate change, and you wanted to, you know, in case, let's just say the weather didn't quite work out the way you wanted it to, or, you know, we already know that the scientists have tried to document the data.
	I don't know.
	I can't think like that.
	No?
	Well, I think that I would buy a 70% controlling stake in Weather Central LP, the world's leading provider of interactive weather graphics and data services for television, web, and mobile services.
	I think that's what I'd do.
	Why?
	Because if you own the company, then you can manipulate what data is being sent to television, web, radio, and newspapers.
	Oh, I see.
	So what you're assuming is that there's a scam aspect to this, and you can use the control of the media as a way of manipulating information to screw over the public.
	It's never happened before, but it's a novel idea.
	No.
	It's never happened before.
	General Electric owning NBC? Disney owning ABC? Founded in 1974, Weather Central is the global provider of professional on-air, online, print, mobile, and enterprise weather solutions and forecasting with 180 employees, including 70 meteorologists.
	Now hold on a second.
	These are the guys.
	The question remains, who is it that was buying these people?
	Rothschild.
	Why?
	This doesn't make any sense unless what you say is true.
	Exactly.
	It's not an investment that they would normally make unless there was some alternative reason for making it.
	Weather Central has secured a leading 46% market share of North America's weather information delivery market for broadcast and media, delivering content to hundreds of millions of viewers.
	It is the largest provider of broadcast and interactive web weather solutions for media companies in the US, Canada, and Mexico, better known as the North American Union.
	Weather Central has more than 400 broadcast television clients in 21 countries worldwide.
	It provides weather forecasts to millions of users.
	What?
	You're telling me that the guy on KTLA doesn't do that himself?
	He's not studying the charts?
	You're not going to tell me that he actually gets the information from a Rothschild-controlled company, are you?
	You know, they had this guy, used to be a weather guy in the West Coast, and he's been floating around.
	He's worked at little markets here and there.
	His name was Harry Geis.
	And Harry Geis, he has a couple of protégés out there.
	Harry Geis was condemned by the Meteorological Society because he incorporated other data other than what the Ministry of Truth was given him.
	Other than the approved data.
	And he made all kinds of weather predictions that were very interesting because his accuracy was at least twice that of anybody else that was doing weather.
	And he was constantly hounded and hounded and hounded and he was denounced and everything in between.
	There's been a couple of his protégés out there.
	And I've always been amused by this because it's obvious that there's some politics involved in the weather.
	So I'll take it one step further.
	The CEO of this particular arm of the Rothschild Empire is Lynn Forrester de Rothschild.
	Hillary Clinton's buddy.
	You know her, don't you?
	Oh, yeah.
	The kind of hot, milfy-looking Rothschild.
	I think she married in, right?
	She's way too cute to be an evil banker.
	And she has a quote here in the acquisition press release.
	Weather Central is a world-class company that is number one in its category with a history of success, a talented team, and a very bright future.
	Their products, which are the world's most precise for broadcast, online, and mobile forecasting, allow companies and individuals unparalleled insights.
	Whether designed for an insurance company wanting to alert its customers of an impending hailstorm, a hedge fund trying to monitor agricultural commodities, or a consumer planning a vacation, no one has better information than Weather Central.
	Oh wait.
	No one has better information than Weather Central.
	At EL Rothschild, we will use our resources, business expertise, and industry insights to build upon Weather Central's current success and to develop the company's escalating international profile in markets like Latin America and India.
	So this is exactly what I was saying the other day when I said, if everyone's so sure about climate science and everyone knows exactly what's going to happen in a hundred years from now.
	Science!
	Science!
	Why don't you all take that expertise and get on the weather?
	Because if you can predict the weather, or if you report the weather, you are the richest MF on Earth.
	Because weather, everyone determines, everything is determined, revolves on weather and oil.
	Climate's easy, weather's hard.
	They did have a model, a computer model that would predict the weather perfectly accurately the next day, but it took two days to run the program.
	You know, when you make the joke on Thursday, it just doesn't work on Sunday, okay?
	Hot Pockets!
	So...
	Jeez.
	What would it be if Jay Leno came out and did the same joke two nights in a row?
	Oh, by the way, he does.
	He slightly alters the punchline, but he'll do the same joke two or three nights in a row.
	It's clearly where you get your inspiration from.
	Yes.
	So, anyway, I thought that was rather interesting.
	Make a note on the tape that your little Weather Central voice is perfect for the show opener.
	What time is it here?
	10.39.
	Okay.
	You mean the...
	Okay, I can't remember what I did.
	It was good, though, huh?
	It was quite good.
	Okay, it was good.
	Want to do some magic numbers, just a little break, and then I think you have a couple of clips we should be listening to?
	Yeah, a couple.
	Okay, some magic numbers around Gitmo Nation.
	From Brazil, little article.
	And remember, the number 33, of course, lots of numbers are recurring, but there's either two reasons for the number 33 showing up in a news article.
	One is a message back to home base, like, hey, mission accomplished, boys.
	Or, it's Hill and Knowlton's way of getting on this program.
	Number of people in Brazil with high blood pressure who will now need some of that pharma stuff that we make.
	Lipitor, 33 million.
	Lockheed may lose 33 billion if Marines F-35 is cut.
	Hillsborough, Tampa, Florida, deputies arrest 33 on drug charges.
	Macau gambling revenue leaps 33% in January.
	Siemens Alpha Diesel Hybrid Bus cuts fuel consumption by 33%.
	Police say man blows.333 on breathalyzer.
	Whoa!
	U.S. cancer rate, 1 in 333.
	Hey, way to go, guys.
	Hey, how many bank failures since 2008, John?
	There's a 3 in there.
	333.
	Let me see.
	There's a couple of ones I think are just too bogus.
	Airbus delivered 33 aircraft in January.
	Now we're stretching.
	And the Ford Mustang sales are down by 33%.
	By the way, did you see...
	And unfortunately, there's no video from it.
	The CEO of Chrysler, he was at an event...
	Two days ago.
	And he was talking about, because of course Chrysler didn't get the sweetheart deal the GM did.
	Chrysler got like four or five billion dollars and they have to pay back a billion dollars a year.
	And the CEO said, ah, these shyster loans we got.
	Three times in this, he was on the stage at like a J.D. Powers and Associates event or something like that.
	And he kept talking about, ah, these shyster loans, shyster loans, ah, they messed us up with their shyster loans.
	He, of course, had to come out and apologize because I think it's a very derogatory term.
	Shyster, is that not like an anti-Semitic root?
	Well, in some broad sense, yeah.
	I just thought it was really funny to hear it.
	But doesn't Bush use the term?
	Show up and take advantage of people's goodwill and generosity.
	Yeah, he's saying it right there.
	Say it again because I stepped on it.
	Shysters show up and take advantage of people's goodwill and generosity.
	It's proof that it happens.
	Shut up.
	He didn't apologize for it.
	He apologized because somebody called him to the carpet.
	Hey, we gave you the money.
	Shut up.
	You weren't supposed to be bitching about it, okay?
	Yeah, really.
	Yeah, what do you want?
	You want to wake up one morning and have a gun in your left hand?
	Is that what you want?
	Good news, though.
	The Estonians apparently have found the stolen carbon credits.
	Hey, for the Estonians.
	I want to go to Estonia.
	Yeah, I'll go to New Zealand.
	Estonia is supposed to have the best looking blonde women in the world.
	In fact, they have a parade called Blonde or something like that.
	It's just the mustache you have to get beyond, but otherwise...
	There goes our Estonian listener.
	So...
	Right.
	So let me play.
	To talk about it, I just want to give you an idea of how we do this show and some of the problems we run into and why we really do need your support.
	I want to play, and this sidetracked me for quite some time.
	I want to play the clip here.
	Mark Shields, who's on PBS and he's on a bunch of shows, and the clip is called Mark Shields is an Idiot.
	What is he, a journalist?
	What is he?
	He's an idiot.
	We know he's an idiot.
	But this really got to me, and I do this, by the way, commonly.
	I think you do it to a lesser extent.
	When you hear something you just know is bogus, and it's being passed off like a 12-year-old makes it up as they go along.
	Kids do this.
	You know, you always say, what, are you making it up as you go along?
	And instead of saying, I don't know, which is easier to do, you know, you just make it up.
	Or just say something that's bogus.
	Play this.
	It's not working.
	And as I think enough justices perceive that it's not going to work, that will incline them to reach this high constitutional principle and throw it out.
	But I learned in law school, the Supreme Court follows the election returns.
	He didn't have to go to law school.
	All he had to do was read Finley Peter Dunn, who said that in 1896.
	Okay, I didn't understand one word of what he said.
	All right, there we're talking about the Supreme Court picking up on these challenges to Obamacare.
	Oh, right.
	And he throws out he didn't have to go to law school.
	He could have read Finley Peter Dunn in 1896.
	What is that?
	Well, that's what I wanted to know.
	Why does somebody do a name drop like that?
	So, Peter Finley, or Finley Peter Dunn was this writer who was supposed to be comedic, who, by the way, is unreadable.
	People can go look it up.
	So, I went and looked at everything he wrote, because it's available on both Gutenberg and archive.org.
	So, I looked at his book in 1899 book, the...
	Hello?
	1910 book to 1900.
	I looked all these things up.
	I finally, there was no, this is bogus.
	For one thing, there's no document that was 1896, so the date was wrong, and there's no real evidence except for his 1901 book, which is called Mr.
	Dooley's Opinions, where there may be some reference to the Supreme Court being politically inclined, which is what his point was.
	So...
	So I'm just on a panel, and out of the blue I say, well, you didn't have to go to law school.
	You could have read Finley Peter Don in 1896 when he said that.
	Who does stuff like this?
	Mark Shields, apparently.
	It just bugged me to no end.
	You're worked up about it.
	Well, yeah, because people just throw this crap out.
	Well, as so-and-so said in 1816, I mean, nobody's going to look it up or check it out.
	It's bullcrap.
	Right.
	I love it when you get all worked up about stuff like that.
	Well, it's just annoying.
	I mean, what is this guy thinking?
	What does he think he is?
	Why is he throwing this out?
	Who is this writer?
	The writer is impossible to read.
	He writes in dialect, which was extremely unreadable, especially around the turn of the century.
	Gaelic?
	Where there's no real words.
	It's if and duh and duh.
	I could read some of them, and you'd go crazy trying to figure out what he's saying.
	But it's ridiculous.
	Anyway, I was just very annoyed by this, and it took up a lot of my time.
	Yeah.
	Well, that would annoy me, too.
	Yeah, that would annoy me, too.
	Wow.
	I'm sorry.
	Peter Finley, Peter Dunn.
	Yeah, if you see him, throw a shoe at him!
	Throw a boot at his head!
	And say, this is from Dvorak, because you're an idiot.
	We finally figured out what to do with general aviation for the pilots and the enthusiasts in the audience.
	Of course, this has been a point of contention for Lucy Napolitano that general aviation just gets to fly all over the place.
	We don't have to go through naked body scanners or anything.
	This is crazy.
	You can't have that.
	You can't have that going on.
	So a contract has been awarded to AS&E Corporation.
	To develop an entire aircraft backscatter screening system.
	So you're going to have to taxi the aircraft through a backscatter thing.
	Why?
	Why?
	In case you're Al-Qaeda.
	When's the last time a small craft did anything except one guy?
	But he just basically drove his plane into an office.
	Yeah, the IRS office.
	Yeah.
	Filled with fuel.
	I mean, the whole thing's fuel.
	You get filled with fuel and crash into an office.
	What do you need a backscatter for?
	You've got to put fuel in the plane.
	Well, I haven't looked into AS&E. This is another scam.
	One of these creeps is trying to make some money on the side of the government tit.
	Well, American Science and Engineering, Inc.
	is a leading worldwide supplier of innovative X-ray inspection systems with over 50 years of experience in developing advanced X-ray security systems.
	So it's going to be able to X-ray an airplane and you're going to be sitting inside it?
	Yes.
	Does this sound safe to anybody?
	Well, you know, you get more radiation from flying in the plane than the backscatter will actually give to you.
	Just so you know.
	Which makes nothing but sense.
	I sure hope Burbank hasn't activated their backscatter, so I have to opt out when I fly up.
	It's going to suck.
	Opt out from flying up?
	What are they going to do, pat down the plane?
	Nice rear wheel you got there.
	I'm going to opt out.
	A little update on the sleeping Finns.
	Of course, the health officials in Finland have now said there is a definite link between the swine flu vaccinations and children now suffering from narcolepsy.
	They've fallen asleep in school.
	Everywhere.
	And they say, well, you know, they're saying, you know, we really should have not given the vaccine to 5 to 20-year-olds is what the chief medical officer of Finland's National Public Health Institute is now saying.
	Which is exactly, exactly who the World Health Organization said should receive.
	It needs to be the young kids.
	It's different from everything else.
	Give it to the young kids.
	When you're older, you won't get the flu anyway.
	So they can sleep.
	We want the kids to sleep.
	That's right.
	It'll be a plus for global warming.
	It will be.
	It will be.
	Go to napforhumanity.com, please, and help Tice out.
	He needs some help.
	He's got some great products he's putting together.
	They're nice pillows.
	I think he's got some sleeping bags.
	And he needs a little bit of marketing help.
	Napforhumanity.com.
	Yeah, we're going to push the Nap for Humanity thing.
	It's catchy.
	It's nice.
	We're looking for the iNap app.
	Yep.
	So you can track how many carbon credits you've created.
	And we need someone to do the math.
	Yes.
	We still need a mathematician out there that can calculate the differential between awake and napping in terms of carbon output.
	So I was looking for the 33 in this article.
	I couldn't find it because I'm sure it was targeted at us, or at me specifically, as...
	They have now developed a microchip that can be implanted in the brain that will remove your Tourette's symptoms.
	Sure.
	So you're going to have this operation?
	Let me think.
	No.
	Are you crazy?
	But you know they're targeting...
	Kill all humans.
	Yeah.
	I'm hearing voices, John!
	I don't know what to do!
	And then maybe the chip will help.
	Yeah.
	the cyber war stuff is getting a little scary now.
	Not that the cyber stuff is scary, but so we have the whole idea of an internet kill switch.
	And our own El Presidente says, well, you know, if there's a cyber attack, then we need to be able to shut down the Hoover Dam.
	Like, please.
	I mean, how insulting is this?
	Where are all these pundits?
	Where is Shelley Palmer coming out and saying this is an outrage that the president talks as bull crap?
	You don't have to connect the Hoover Dam to the internet.
	You know, this is crazy.
	This is absolute crazy talk.
	And now, through the United Nations, the East-West Foundation, whose authors include representatives from Microsoft and Northrop Grumman, we need a Geneva Convention on Cyber War.
	Oh, please.
	Hey, man.
	Hey, man.
	Don't DDoS me, man.
	That's against the Geneva Convention.
	This is out of control.
	Do people actually believe this stuff?
	Apparently.
	A lot of them do.
	Well, the president needs to be able to shut down the Hoover Dam.
	Please!
	You don't need to connect the Hoover Dam to the Internet.
	Why is the Hoover Dam connected to the internet in the first place?
	It's not!
	It's not!
	The Hoover Dam actually came out and said, hey, I'm the Hoover Dam.
	I'm not connected.
	Yeah, even Wired.
	Well, thank God Wired did something.
	U.S. Bureau of Reclamation is shooting down a key legislative talking point that the internet kill switch legislation is needed to prevent cyber terrorists from opening the Hoover Dam's floodgates.
	Can you believe how stupid someone is to put this in there?
	Ha ha ha!
	And this is a talking point.
	Well, and the president said it.
	Well, you know, I mean, this is not to shut down your access to Kardashians.com.
	No, this is to shut down the Hoover Dam so terrorists can't flood everything with it.
	Open the gates.
	Open the flood.
	Open the flood gates.
	This is an actual talking point.
	How stupid is that?
	Throw a shoe at them.
	Throw a shoe.
	At a panel in Washington last week, a GOP staffer working on the bill was even more terrifying.
	Quote, No!
	We are very concerned about an electric control system that could cause the floodgates to come open at the Hoover Dam and kill thousands of people in the process, said Brandon Millhorn.
	Here, let me write that down.
	Brandon, he'll be the...
	Yeah.
	Why don't you call him as a douchebag?
	Well, here...
	I'd love to.
	Douchebag!
	And here it comes.
	I'm throwing a shoe at your head, Brandon.
	Staff Director of the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee.
	He finishes a quote with, That's a significant concern.
	It's a significant concern.
	We need to come up with a couple more.
	What other horrible things could happen because of someone hacking cyber war on the internet?
	What else could happen?
	Besides opening the floodgates of Hoover Dam?
	I can't even come up with something.
	It's a stretch already, isn't it?
	Unbelievable.
	Well, yeah.
	But, you know, we need a Geneva...
	Hey, man!
	It's in the Geneva Convention of Cyber Wars.
	It's another boondoggle so they can go to some remote location in a nice resort and drink.
	This is costing the American taxpayers too much money, these idiots.
	Oh, it's billions because this is Centcom, is what this is.
	And they've just opened up the CyberCentcom.
	It's just more money for, let me see, who are the names?
	Microsoft and Northrop Grumman.
	Just more money for them to put cyber, anti-cyber firewall stuff, all of that in place.
	And then of course we get the hackers penetrating NASDAQ computers.
	Yeah, right.
	Hackers from Goldman Sachs.
	It's not like some kid sitting around hacking into NASDAQ. Alright.
	Investigators are considering a range of possible motives, including unlawful financial gain, theft of trade secrets, and national security threat designed to damage the exchange.
	Nah!
	Be very afraid, slaves!
	But don't worry, your Facebook and Twitters will still work just fine.
	But we don't want them to.
	The government is stealing trade secrets constantly.
	Yeah.
	So, uh, I ran into an interesting Out of the Blue clip.
	I think it portends.
	I assume you're done with this topic.
	Yes, quite done, thank you.
	Play this.
	I thought this was weird.
	And by the way, the guy has asked the question, and he should just say yes or no, but he rambles and rambles, but it seems as though we're about to cut Haiti loose.
	Interesting.
	I have some news about that as well.
	Here comes the clip.
	The Heritage Foundation and Michael Shifter, President of the Inter-American Dialogue.
	Thanks to both of you for being with us on Great Decisions.
	Right to the top question.
	Should the United States give up on Haiti?
	Ray?
	The question, I think, is posed in a moral sense.
	Should the U.S. make a particular decision regarding Haiti?
	I don't think that is the way the question should be posed.
	Will the U.S. give up on Haiti?
	And I'm afraid that the answer may be that the U.S. over time will tend to give up on Haiti because the problems that it faces there in the reconstruction process dealing with a impoverished country with low levels of human capital and financial capital given its tendency to move towards political division the insecurities there And the competing interests that we face around the world in a period of physical retrenchment,
	I think will lead us eventually to more or less give up or to lose patience with Haiti.
	Well, you know what?
	So wait, the thing is, so we might as well just keep all that money we collected, by the way.
	Yeah, well, that would be a great solution to keeping the money.
	So, Bill Clinton and George Bush and a cast of thousands stole the money and there's been all this like, well, you know, where's this money and what's going on?
	And if George Clooney actually came out and said, hey, hey, hey, Hey, where's the money?
	I'm going to stare you until you fall dead like a goat, like I did in that movie.
	He doesn't do that, of course.
	But if he did, then everyone would be, hey, that's crazy, man.
	A little John and Adam talking about it doesn't help any.
	So what is the best possible way to just cover it all up?
	It's just to cut the ties.
	Now, interesting you bring that up.
	You know, they've had this election, scam election, and it's all being manipulated.
	And now, of course, they're not giving out the results.
	The results will come in March after a runoff.
	And the officials in Haiti have just excluded the ruling party candidate from the runoff.
	Now, this was Clinton's bitch, Jude Celestine.
	He's been kicked out of the runoff, so now it's going to be former First Lady Mirlande Manigat against Sweet Mickey Martelli, the singer.
	They're making a new connection now.
	Okay, hit me.
	The new connection is that Clinton got screwed in this deal, so he sends the meme into the public domain that we're going to cut Haiti loose.
	What do you think of that?
	Exactly.
	And I think it's the best thing that could happen for Haiti, and I think that this show should take a little bit of credit for that.
	Get those evil elites out.
	The people are going to go through a lot of hardship, but this is not the first time.
	They revolted against their slave masters, the French.
	They've succeeded for a long time.
	It's going to be very, very difficult.
	But if they're going to build hotels, at least let it be their hotels.
	That's the only thing left for them to do.
	And it's going to be hard, but at least you won't have those evil Clintons hanging around.
	And there's this great picture of...
	Because Hillary was just there.
	Of her and Jude Celestine and she's like smiling with that goofy smile on her face.
	Like, yeah, this is where my hotel is going to be.
	This is going to be my view.
	I'm going to love it here.
	So I think you're right.
	I think that the meme has been thrown in there.
	We're pulling out.
	And by the way, no one will ever ask about the money again.
	It'll be done.
	And it'll be like, well, you know, it was just too crazy.
	We had to let Haiti be Haiti.
	You know, they really didn't want our help.
	I think you're absolutely right.
	They didn't want our help.
	They didn't want our help or our money, apparently.
	And certainly not our blankets.
	We just need cash.
	I know a lot of people want to send blankets or water.
	Just send your cash.
	Send us your cash.
	And we sent it to them.
	We sure did.
	He didn't say send Haiti your cash.
	He said send us your cash.
	He wasn't lying.
	There's no false advertising there.
	Yeah, I think you're right.
	I think it's been totally cut loose.
	And if you see George Clooney, throw a shoe at him and say, how come you didn't follow up on Haiti, you bastard?
	You bastard, you.
	How come you get a hot girlfriend and you don't have to follow up on Haiti?
	Hmm?
	You bastard.
	I'm all for throwing shoes at people.
	I'm just calling them out.
	You got a shoe meme going.
	Yeah, well, we've got to be throwing shoes.
	It's the only message that comes through, and it's a strong message to our brothers and sisters around Gitmo Nation, because everyone understands it.
	Everybody understands what the shoe means.
	Well, so I'm tuning around.
	I was short this week.
	This Egyptian thing has been killing me.
	Not just you, by the way.
	It's been killing some actual Egyptians.
	Yeah, but the point is, it's like a news thing.
	It's a big phony deal.
	Let me get a couple of Egyptian clips out of the way.
	You're listening to the cliches.
	It is like the cliche of the day that you're going to be hearing a lot of.
	Play that.
	So they're sort of balancing that, too, which we haven't heard a lot about.
	I wanted to address this idea of whether Islamists would take over.
	We hear this a lot.
	There's a very important distinction to be made about Egypt relative to other countries in the Middle East, and that is that Egypt needs the Western world.
	You know, Iran has oil.
	Egypt does not.
	Egypt depends on tourism, on traffic through the Suez Canal, on U.S. aid coming through.
	And so anyone who takes over will have to certainly keep that in mind just for Egypt's economy to survive.
	What a crock.
	By the way, the Egyptian cotton is the best cotton you can buy.
	If you can buy stuff made from an Egyptian cotton.
	Yeah, and it's not genetically modified like the cotton you get here, which is nuts.
	Putting GMO cotton on your body is not good for you.
	Egyptian cotton wears like iron and it's soft as cashmere.
	It is astonishing how good that stuff is.
	Does it get promoted?
	No, no.
	What are we wearing?
	Hemas.
	We're wearing Hemas.
	And you know what?
	You know that ain't no Egyptian cotton in those Hema underwear.
	Actually I think it is.
	We also sell tear gas to Egypt.
	So there was an interesting think tank thing going on where they were discussing the Heritage Foundation, and it was the Brookings Institute, which is a true think tank in the old school sense, meaning they work for the agency.
	And they had Bob Gregory, for some unknown reason, who's that weird guy who does meet the press with the dark eyebrows, and he looks like Andy Warhol, and he's got kind of a duck mouth, you know that guy?
	Yeah, he's MK Altered.
	Totally.
	And you listen to his jokes that he does.
	This guy's giving an analysis of a really interesting analysis based on some research he's done.
	His name's Kenneth Pollard and he's with Brookings.
	And at the end of this Gregory chimes in with just some inane comment about, well, you know, just play this and you'll see what I'm talking about and why some of these mainstream guys should just not be on the air at all.
	He pointed out that everything that Crane Brinton and Theta Scotchpole and these wonderful scholars of revolution had been writing about, it's all there in the Middle East.
	And it was only a matter of time.
	It was either going to be a gradual process of reform...
	Where it was going to be a sudden, explosive process of revolution.
	And the last point on that, it's also important to keep in mind that the terrorism that we face is born of the exact same problem.
	The terrorists, the Ayman Azawahris, the Osama bin Laden, they are frustrated revolutionaries.
	They all tried to start revolutions in their own countries, and like other groups, the Russians before them, they turned to terrorism when they found they couldn't start the social revolution.
	And they went after us, Because they saw us as the power standing behind the governments that they were seeking to overthrow.
	So all these problems...
	But before we make them too nostalgic, they're also nihilists who are evil and...
	But again, they're always there.
	Okay.
	So the guy is...
	Somebody just pointed out, they're also nihilists and evil.
	I mean, the guy is doing an analysis that is actually valuable for people who are...
	It was pretty good.
	Yeah, it was pretty good.
	Thoughtful.
	Exactly.
	And he's going into the research and he's trying to deconstruct the mechanisms going on in the Middle East, which is what a think tank does.
	And this idiot chimes in with, well, yeah, well, that may be true, but they're also nihilists and evil.
	Well, that's his programming, man.
	That's exactly how it works.
	He hears the word terrorist, evil, they are evil.
	He's a robot.
	He's a total MKUltra robot.
	Unbelievable.
	That is pretty funny.
	He made another stupid comment later in the show when somebody says, well, and I know a lot of the leaders, you know, somebody very logical and they're in Doha, I think, talking and they say, well, a lot of the leaders probably are right now in their palaces who, and then Gregory jumps in and says, the expansive palaces.
	Yes, built with drug money.
	He has to make some comment.
	I mean, just shut up.
	Oh, what a douche.
	Wait, let me just give him a little...
	Douchebag!
	A little douchebag call out there.
	So, one other thing.
	So, I'm tuning around the network, the channels, and I run into...
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry that happened, but it was...
	Pierce Morgan!
	Yes.
	No, no.
	And it was...
	He was talking to...
	What's the actor?
	It was Silence of the Lambs.
	I don't know why his name's not...
	Oh, um...
	Yeah, that guy.
	The guy who keeps doing the crazy guys.
	Anthony Hopkins.
	Anthony Hopkins.
	So he's doing an interview with Anthony Hopkins, and I finally realized what Piers Morgan's problem is.
	He is like a 10-year-old.
	The questions he asks are stupid.
	Hopkins said the questions are awkward.
	Just play this clip, but before you do it, it's like, Piers Morgan does a lot of these questions.
	If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?
	Oh, what is your favorite color?
	It's like, I mean, the whole...
	No, he actually asks it differently.
	He'll say, what is your favorite color?
	Exactly.
	If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
	It's every...
	These questions are so stupid, and he interrupts...
	When the guy's actually having an interesting little chat, he interrupts him with one of these dumb questions, because, you know, Larry King, if you studied his interview style, Larry would ask...
	Hey, if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
	If Larry used to do this, they weren't awkward.
	They were interesting changing the subject, right?
	Boom, boom, boom.
	Right, right.
	But they weren't stupid questions like this guy asks.
	No, Larry is laughing his ass off.
	What a dick.
	They'll be begging for me to come back.
	Beyond my greatest dreams.
	Everything.
	So I've got no complaints.
	No demons lurking around in the corners of my mind.
	All the moments you've had, what would be the moment you'd replay right now if you had the chance?
	Ah, ha, ha, ha.
	You ask these awkward questions.
	I enjoyed getting the Oscar.
	Yeah, he asked that a lot.
	That's one of his standard questions.
	It's like, you know, and Kim Kardashian says, or Khloe, or whichever K. Like, ah, the birth of my son.
	So that's one of his stock questions.
	So he basically got a script.
	But he's turned a corner, and I saw him doing something yesterday, which I think is, we'll get ratings, because I know the American audience, I mean the slave audience, And he had an exorcist on.
	Of course, we have the movie coming out.
	That's for the movie.
	Yeah, right.
	It's the remastered, unseen director's cut.
	Hold on.
	I didn't make this clip, but that's funny that you should say this because he used the word exorcise.
	Oh, yeah.
	With this interview with Hopkins, and I kept hearing exercise because the way he pronounces it, I say, so what would you exercise if you could exercise anything?
	Yeah, my calves, you know, my lats.
	That's what it sounded like.
	But he was saying exercise, exercise again, I suppose, to promote.
	Yeah, okay.
	It sounds like it's all linked together.
	Oh, it is.
	And so he actually had a real exorcist on, and they had, like, video cam footage of them performing.
	A Catholic priest.
	Yeah, performing an exorcism.
	I'm like, now you're talking.
	That's going to get ratings.
	You know, he has Colin Kardashian on.
	No one cares.
	Whatever her name is.
	And, you know, it's like, eh.
	But now, that's what people will watch, Pierce.
	Now you're talking.
	Yeah, he won't be able to find enough of that.
	It's not his style.
	Well, someone is going to say, hey, look, man, we got a 1.0 rating for the exorcism thing.
	More of that, Pierce.
	He's not going to be able to stop that.
	It's just going to happen.
	Well, it's going to take a really high-quality booker.
	Yeah, well, they're going to have to do something.
	So I got one last clip I'll play.
	Yeah, sure.
	Hit me.
	So Spitzer.
	Oh, my friend Elliot.
	I'm watching this show, by the way.
	The guy who had the $5,000 a night hookers.
	Yeah, good for him.
	More power to him.
	So the guy has got this show, Spitzer, whatever it is, Parker.
	And so he brings on this radical Islam guy.
	What?
	A terrorist?
	Yeah, a terrorist.
	And he does this ridiculous set-up Which is like asking the stupidest questions.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	I saw this.
	No, this was the guy who was via remote and the guy has like the beard and the hat and everything.
	Yeah, I saw this.
	It was hilarious.
	It was totally hilarious.
	But the thing that got me was this lead-in...
	Uh-oh.
	John?
	Yeah.
	I lost you at lead-in.
	Oh, I have this lead-in.
	The thing that was interesting was Spitzer's lead-in.
	He basically explains everything he wants to say before he even says a word to this guy, which is very much like what Chris Matthews does.
	He talks too much.
	And then by the time he asks the question, you already know what the answer is going to be or what you think it might be, even though this guy kind of threw a curveball back at him.
	But I didn't play that.
	But it's just like, here's the interesting point.
	I want to comment on it after its plays.
	He was wrong.
	What's going on in Egypt and in Tunisia and in Jordan and in Yemen is a genuine democratic uprising.
	But there is one conspicuous axis.
	Radical Islam.
	Tonight we have a unique opportunity to talk with one of the leading voices of Muslim extremism.
	Joining us now from London, Anjem Chowdhury.
	Welcome back, Mr.
	Chowdhury.
	Yes, good evening.
	Good evening to you as well.
	I've got to be very direct with you, Mr.
	Chowdhury.
	You lost.
	There is revolution sweeping through the Arab world in the Middle East, and the voice that is conspicuously absent is the voice that you espouse radical Islam.
	How do you possibly explain that?
	So, the guy says he's full of crap is what he says.
	But it's like, one thing is conspicuously absent.
	You could have put anything in there.
	One thing is conspicuously absent.
	The Chinese.
	How do you explain there is no Chinese presence?
	One thing is conspicuously absent.
	There's no Japanese there.
	What happened?
	You got a Japanese representative.
	What happened to you, Japanese?
	Where are the Mexicans?
	There's no Canadians there, I'm telling you.
	This is a bogus piece.
	It was just a created piece of crap that was just an eye drop.
	It was funny.
	It was funny because at the end, Elliot Spitzer does this, I have to disagree with everything you say.
	You're a horrible person.
	I had to do that.
	Yeah.
	It was funny.
	So to wrap it up, I would just like to say that the North American Union, which I think we were probably talking about two, three years ago as well, has really come one step closer amidst all of this turmoil in Egypt as people are all looking at uprising in Egypt.
	Revolution.
	No, what was it?
	Revolution and something else.
	They change it every day.
	They don't have a good tagline.
	They haven't got a catchphrase.
	No, they don't have a tagline for it that really works.
	Because there's no alliteration.
	It has to be E. It can't be like, the error in Egypt.
	It doesn't sound right.
	Which is really what it is, the era in Egypt.
	So, of course, now that Mexico has GE supplying Texas with our energy, I think we pretty much own Gitmo Nation Taco.
	I think that's pretty much ours.
	You know, we give them the guns, we give them everything.
	It's like, you know, whatever.
	We're all one big happy country.
	Did you see that Prime Minister Harper...
	Part of the cabal that has now made it so that our human resources and Gitmo Nation, Great White North, have a bandwidth cap of 25 gigabytes per month and can no longer stream stuff without paying overages.
	You've followed that, I'm sure.
	Yeah, 25 gigs is not low.
	It's nothing.
	It's nothing.
	If you're watching movies, you're watching Netflix.
	It's one a day.
	And then you're over by 5 gigabytes at the end.
	No, it's crazy.
	It's crazy.
	And it's a fix.
	And it could happen here, by the way.
	Oh, it will.
	It probably will.
	Now, I'm not against paying, but the whole idea of a cap and then huge over...
	Before we even go to that, I called AT&T yesterday.
	And AT&T, by the way, if you're roaming overseas, they are still the best deal available.
	Don't think that T-Mobile is one company.
	Don't think that Verizon is going to do any good for you overseas.
	So they had these deals.
	So you have to buy a data package.
	My daughter's in London.
	And so I'm able to get her 100 megabyte data bundle for $100.
	And if she goes over that 100 megabytes, which is easy to do, by the way.
	It goes a lot faster than you think.
	The kids easily use a couple megs a day.
	If you go over that, then it's like $2.50 a meg.
	But the thing that killed me is, I said, well, she sends text messages.
	Oh, yes, of course, a guy from India.
	Oh, yes, we see that.
	She has already sent 60 text messages.
	At 60 text messages, $1.29 per text message sent or received.
	What?
	Yes, but you can buy a bundle.
	Okay, give me the bundle.
	What do I get?
	Ah, you get 50 text messages for $5!
	Great!
	Give me 200 of those!
	Oh no!
	Only 50 per billing cycle!
	So you can only get the 50 messages per month and everything over that is 99 cents.
	Per text message sent or received.
	Wow.
	Now, then it's like, he says, what do you like, are you interested?
	I'm sorry to do the accent, but this is what I get.
	Would you like to do calling plan?
	Don't be sorry.
	Calling plan.
	Yeah, I might as well, because I feel I'm probably going to get shafted for that too.
	Oh yeah, $1.99 per minute, incoming, outcoming.
	Give me the plan, give me the plan.
	So I get $1.19 per minute on the phone.
	And then he goes on to say, now, that is from the minute the phone rings.
	Are you kidding me?
	So the meter starts ticking the minute the phone rings.
	And if it goes to voicemail, the longer someone speaks on the voicemail, it counts for that $1.19 a minute.
	Can you believe that crap?
	Well, you know, Eric, the shill, went to Finland recently.
	And took that plan that you're talking about, which is the data bundle, blah, blah, blah.
	And he came back and I think he finally resolved this with him, but he came back and the bill was $8,000.
	He was there a week.
	$8,000.
	Hey, he got a better data package than I got.
	I mean, he had to be like online the whole time.
	I don't know how you get an $8,000 bill from being in Finland for a week.
	My God.
	It's bait and switch, according to him.
	Whatever they're selling you, they're scamming you.
	Was it AT&T? Forget it.
	You're going to be overseas.
	Get a local card, a local GSM card, so you don't have to deal with the bull crap.
	Yeah, but then you have to get an unlocked phone.
	Of course, you're locked in.
	Yes, you have to have an unlocked phone.
	Gee, what a shame.
	Everybody has one somewhere.
	Take your unlocked phone to Europe.
	Put a GSM card, a local card.
	You can buy them all over the place.
	And it's going to cost you $25, and sure, you're not going to be able to have all the features.
	But what are you doing over there anyway?
	Are you surfing the internet for some reason?
	Forget it.
	Well, we know what Eric was doing.
	iPhonePorn.com.
	Now we know what he's doing.
	I just saw in the chat room, 142 hours of sleep equals one cubic meter of carbon.
	These are going to be some cheap-ass credits.
	What is it again?
	142 hours of sleep is one cubic meter.
	One cubic meter...
	No, that doesn't make any sense.
	Post that again in the chat room.
	It's one cubic meter of carbon.
	So...
	A ton.
	We've got to sleep a lot.
	That's okay.
	We have a lot of people doing it.
	Nap for Humanity.
	All right.
	So let me...
	NapforHumanity.com, everybody.
	So let me play a little news report here.
	I could have given you the C-SPAN raw footage, but I thought the news report was more interesting.
	How the North American Union is now in play, in place, as predicted, as essentially we have now taken over Canada.
	It is now ours.
	And you have to see this footage at noagendershow.com because Harper is looking at Obama with a look of despair that is beyond belief.
	You can just see him go like...
	I'm so screwed here.
	This is like, this is just the end.
	You can just see the guy, he's given up.
	He's given up on it, and all your oil belong to us, Canadia.
	Now, what brought the Prime Minister to Washington was a new joint plan between the United States and Canada on the border, security, and trade.
	Now, ever since 9-11, the United States has been erecting a wall of security around itself, and for Canada, the aim has been to keep trade flowing and to maintain sovereignty.
	The challenge for Obama and Harper is to find the right balance.
	Prime Minister Harper and President Obama unveiled sweeping new proposals to enhance both border security and trade, a shared vision for the perimeter of the two countries.
	They include new joint screening measures for things like cargo, more sharing of technologies and law enforcement, and new regulatory cooperation.
	We've directed our teams to develop an action plan to move forward quickly.
	Which means, bend over Canada, here it comes!
	And it's going to be fast and hard, and you're going to like it!
	And I'm confident that we're going to get this done so that our shared border enhances our shared prosperity.
	We must up our game to counter those seeking new ways to harm us.
	Do it all under the, oh, it's for security, who's going to harm you?
	The polar bears?
	Who's coming from Canada, John?
	What danger is coming from Canada to harm us?
	And what harm are we sending up to Canada?
	It's all about securite, securite.
	I'll tell you what it's about in a minute, but first listen to the bull crap.
	And whenever someone says, this is not about us losing our sovereignty, it's pretty much about you losing your sovereignty.
	And I say us, because as I have said before, a threat to the United States is a threat to Canada.
	Yeah.
	There will also be more sharing of information about travelers from the two countries.
	Will all of this put the privacy of Canadians and the sovereignty of the country at stake?
	This declaration is not about sovereignty.
	We are sovereign countries who have the capacity to act as we choose to act.
	The question that faces us is to make sure we act in a sovereign way that serves Canada's interests.
	We match up more than probably any country on earth.
	We have...
	This border that benefits when it is open.
	There were protesters outside the White House today unhappy that Canada is promoting the TransCanada Pipeline to move so-called dirty oil to the U.S. Oh, dirty oil!
	Oh, John, it's the dirty oil!
	We don't want the dirty oil!
	No!
	Well, this, of course, is exactly what it's about.
	It's a 1,900-mile pipeline coming from the tar...
	What is it?
	The tar sands?
	Tar sands, yeah.
	The tar sands.
	Coming right down.
	This is exactly what it's about.
	But, John, it's dirty oil.
	What is dirty oil?
	Well, dirty oil has a lot of what ends up with a lot of what's referred to as bottoms in the refining business or usually has a high sulfur content.
	It's dirty.
	It's dirty.
	I mean, it's smelly.
	It's probably dark.
	I mean, there used to be a refinery called Pacific Refinery here, although they've changed it.
	It's been bought recently in the Bay Area that used to get...
	Which brings us to our oil discussions about this being a continuous process.
	There used to be some oil out of Bolivia that they had a contract for, and apparently this oil came out of the ground so clean that you could actually take it, pump it from the ground in Bolivia, and put it right in a diesel engine.
	And it would work.
	This is Keystone XL. And this is a $20 billion project.
	But of course, it's sold to you stupid slaves in Canada.
	And us, by the way.
	Oh, it's for security.
	It's for our border.
	And by the way, while we're at it, we're just going to track everything.
	We need more information about what you people are doing up there.
	And we don't trust you.
	You speak funny, and you've taken all of our movie business, so we've got to keep our eye on you, and let's just put this tar sand pipeline with the dirty oil.
	It's just a complete lie, and it snuck in at this amazing moment when no one's focusing on it, like news organizations.
	Harper says oil as energy will not disappear anytime soon.
	The choice that the United States faces in all of these matters is whether to increase its capacity to accept such energy from the most secure, most stable, and friendliest location it can possibly get that energy, which is Canada.
	Thank you very much, Mr.
	Harper.
	I looked into the dirty oil and found what the problem with this oil is.
	All your base now belong to us.
	Because the question is, there's not that many refiners that can really deal with oil.
	That sulfur is so high, and it piles of sulfur behind the place.
	So, quick whipper on Gitmo Nation, and we've really got to stop.
	I mean, I've got to produce everything, and I've got to catch a plane.
	We're done.
	Yeah.
	Just a quick whipper on Gitmo Nation, John.
	You never know what might crop up.
	Gitmo Nation East court bans man with low IQ from having sex.
	Isn't that something for Dvorak.org slash blog?
	It's unbelievable, totally.
	That's a total Dvorak.org uncensored thing.
	But enough about Tony Blair.
	Get Monation Taco!
	Mexican government successfully sheds the U.S. dollar from its economy, so you can't go down to Gitmo Nation Taco anymore and throw your dollars around.
	They won't accept it anymore.
	No kidding.
	It's not worth anything.
	Duh.
	Gitmo Nation Pasta, although we have very few listeners.
	I did get a couple of...
	We actually have like one or two listeners.
	The women in Italy, Italia, are so angry at Berlusconi because there is some anger.
	And by the way, his lawyers are trying to block the release of pictures of him cavorting with the underage girls.
	And I'm happy that his lawyers are doing that because apparently he's naked in them.
	And we don't need to see that.
	That's not necessary.
	But there's a growing backlash from Italian women, a group planning on throwing their underwear at his mansion in protest at his attitude towards women and his involvement in an alleged prostitution ring.
	So, good start, ladies, but let's go for the shoes.
	They make more of a whacking, thumping sound.
	I don't think throwing your panties is going to do any good.
	And you can't get much distance.
	Yeah, it's hard to throw a...
	You can't throw the bomb with that.
	It kind of peters out after a couple yards.
	A lot of people are going nuts in Gitmo Nation lowlands about...
	First of all, it turns out that in this tiny country, what do they have, 16, 17 million people, per year the police do about 4 million telephone taps.
	4 million!
	Phone taps in this little tiny country.
	But there were a couple of Somalis they were trying to track.
	And they jacked their phones, and their phones were sending back geolocation text messages back to the cops.
	And everyone's up in arms about this, saying, like, well, hold on a second, how do you do that?
	Well, we have the technology.
	We can listen to your phone remotely, so if your phone is on, they can listen to what's going on in the room.
	Yep.
	They just switch it right on.
	Hold on a second.
	Let me get my iPhone.
	Send me two pepperoni pizzas, please.
	So this is being admitted right here by the cops.
	And they can jack it so that it sends back your location with a text message at regular intervals.
	And of course, the Human Resources and Gitmo Nation lowlands are going, Hey, wait a minute.
	That might actually happen to me.
	Well, probably.
	Gitmo Nation polo ponies.
	Argentina's Ministry of Truth is threatening to fire the analysts who predicted a 30% inflation.
	Literally said, go back and do the numbers again, you slave.
	You can't be right.
	Which is just beautiful.
	And then finally, in our very own Gitmo Nation, we have the USDA, United States Department of Agriculture, deregulating biotech sugar beets.
	So, enjoy that.
	More.
	Next show, I'm going to talk a little bit about some of the new additives that have been approved by the Codex and are basically poison.
	In your flower.
	Oh, really?
	In flower?
	Oh, yeah.
	This is a good one.
	My wife, you know, who's gone nuts with this egg book, her next book is going to be on wheat.
	And what she's turning up is like enough to make your hair stand on end.
	Dream of wheat is so good to eat, I can eat it every day.
	Remember that, Cream of Wheat?
	Nope.
	You don't remember Cream of Wheat?
	I never remember that jingle, no.
	Oh, I grew up with that jingle.
	Well...
	Oh.
	Alright.
	Must have been an East Coast thing.
	Yeah, must have been.
	All right, folks around Gitmo Nation, once again, highly appreciate all of your input and your support for the show.
	It's very important that you continue to support us because we have no other means of making it roll than by you going to...
	And don't forget that we can call out the public relations agencies.
	Apparently no media companies do it.
	None of them do it.
	They never do it.
	Ever.
	Nope.
	Not at all.
	So if you think you've got any value, show us some value, and who knows, karma might be knocking on your door any moment.
	So coming to you from the headquarters of the shoe-throwing revolution here in Gitmo Nation West, People's Republic of Northern California, I think the chip is already implanted.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from Northern Silicon Valley where it's not Sunday, it's Super Bowl Sunday.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.

▲