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Jan. 30, 2011 - No Agenda

02:11:37

274: GaGa vs Bieber

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Time	Text
	I don't like drying my hands at the airport.
	I want a towel.
	I want a paper towel.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Sunday, January 30th, 2011.
	Time for Gitmo Nation Media Assassination, Episode 274.
	This is No Agenda.
	Calling out to the Muslim Brotherhood from the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center in Human Nation West.
	Here in the People's Republic of Southern California in the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley where I never said hit it, and I'm not expecting to be doing this show yet, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill in the morning.
	Good ad-lib.
	In the morning to you, John.
	In the morning to you.
	In the morning to all the feats on the ground, the ships at sea, and the airmen in the air.
	Ah, very close.
	Ships at sea, boots on the ground, wings in the skies, foots in the oceans, checks in the mails, bakers in the kitchen, dung in the pits, astronauts manning the moon and Mars base stations, hams on the air, and human resources everywhere, particularly in our chatroom, noagendastream.com.
	They are all charged up and ready to go exactly the way their government loves them to be.
	Well, it's too bad it's a slow news week.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Is anything on Twitter?
	I didn't see anything.
	Nothing going on.
	Oh, hey, wait a minute.
	I think I got like an extra day out of my two-week prognostication of the tragedy in Tucson.
	Oh, I don't know.
	Because this came a little late.
	They had it all planned.
	I think, well, you're talking about the Egypt thing?
	Yeah, well, I could have known.
	The Egypt thing was designed, that was the handoff.
	It was supposed to be tragedy in Tucson for two weeks to stall the masses.
	And then here's the Egypt thing.
	Now, the funny thing about the Egypt thing, I want to bring this up.
	Might as well bring this up right away before we get to this.
	Because there's some funny stuff about it, obviously.
	Well, the most funny thing about it is it seems to be scripted.
	You don't think.
	But wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	You think?
	I've got a couple of clips to prove my point.
	Okay.
	Yeah, groovy.
	No, I'm all for it.
	I've only got a couple of clips for this.
	I knew you would not disappoint.
	First of all, can I ask you two questions before we...
	Oh, actually, there's a...
	We have a jingle for that.
	John, can I ask you a question about GBIP? Egypt.
	GBIT. GBIT. A. Is Mubarak a dictator?
	I don't know.
	I can't tell.
	Because they keep talking about a pro...
	I never met the guy.
	These are pro-democracy demonstrations.
	They don't have elections there?
	Or is it a sham?
	Is it not...
	Oh, no.
	They have elections.
	Okay.
	Because the way it's being told...
	She gets 99.9% of the votes, so it's a little fishy.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	So it's one thing to say there's no democracy.
	It's another thing to say it's fishy.
	All right.
	Then I have one other thing to ask you.
	Ask John DeLoreck.
	I forgot what it was.
	The jingle distracted me.
	No, I was going to ask if you had ever before heard of the Muslim Brotherhood.
	Oh, yeah.
	Because we've never talked about the Muslim Brotherhood.
	On our show, no, we haven't.
	CNN is like, it's all the Muslim Brotherhood.
	I'm like, I feel part of the Muslim Brotherhood.
	It's my brothers over there.
	Not part of this group.
	It's Muslimabad?
	It's essentially, I think they were formed about 1922.
	They're essentially the kind of proto-Al Qaeda.
	No, but I thought they were actually anti-violence and they're about Sharia law.
	What?
	I'm just reading from Wikipedia.
	So maybe they're maintaining their own Wikipedia page.
	Wikipedia's got it wrong.
	So let's start.
	Let's go with it.
	The only thing I want to discuss before we get to our producers is the fact that we're looking at a scripted scenario that apparently the BBC blew.
	Oh, they blew it?
	Yeah, they blew it.
	You can't count on these Brits, man.
	They can't get...
	Piers Morgan can't buy a hit, even with the Cardushians on, and now these guys are going to go blow the script.
	What did they do?
	So we have the Tunisian thing first.
	That was part one.
	And then part two, obviously, is Egypt.
	But the BBC blows the timeline and play the WTF clip.
	And tell me what's wrong with this picture.
	Oh, I was expecting a different one.
	Sorry.
	Yeah, here we go.
	But at the centre of this march, the second since Tunisia blew up, was the only organised opposition force that could challenge the monarchy if it wanted political Islam.
	For a week, the Muslim Brotherhood held back from joining the protests.
	Now already, it appears to be trying to lead them, and it'll confirm the fears of many in the West that encouraging the Arab street merely encourages Islamism.
	Problem of the West...
	It's that they support tyranny in the Islamic world and in the Arab world.
	They do not support democracy.
	Fall rather than the present managed democracy in Jordan would almost certainly mean for example an end to the unpopular peace treaty with Israel.
	But though they're shouting for comprehensive reform, they won't denounce the king at least.
	Wait a minute, did he say Jordan?
	Now play BBC Newsnight intro.
	Oh my goodness, this is crazy.
	Hold on a second, here we go.
	And the shockwaves from the Tunisian uprising that have spread to Jordan.
	Hello!
	BBC! BBC! You fucking idiots!
	Can't you read the memo?
	I said Egypt first and Jordan, you stupid, stupid idiots!
	I can just see Hillary Clinton literally like...
	I can't believe the BBC screwed it up.
	It was so clear.
	Here's the complimentary clip, which is unbelievable to me.
	Of course, nobody's picked up on this.
	Now, here's the complimentary clip.
	It's Judith Miller on the Geraldo show on Fox over the weekend kind of manipulating the timeline.
	She, of course, is the former New York Times reporter who did the yellow cake.
	She's CIA. Yeah.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, really.
	Play Judith Miller.
	Okay, Judy Miller on the left, former Bureau Chief of the New York Times.
	What is she?
	Christian Whiten and a former State Department official on the right.
	Okay, Judy, you first.
	We're next.
	Tunisia first, Egypt second.
	Is there a next?
	I think I would worry about Jordan.
	Jordan?
	Yes.
	It wouldn't have happened under the father, King Hussein, but I think the son is somewhat weaker.
	Do you know that the Queen of Jordan is Dutch?
	I thought she was an American.
	No, I think she's Dutch.
	She's Queen Raina.
	I thought she's American.
	I'm pretty sure she's Dutch.
	Oh, well now we have to look it up, but I'm pretty sure she's American.
	Do we need to listen to the rest of the book?
	Maybe she's like everyone to every country.
	Wait, no.
	Look it up, will you?
	Wiki that, man.
	Google that.
	I'm so convinced she's Dutch.
	Oh, she might be convinced, but she's not.
	Yeah, hold on.
	Okay.
	Now you've got me, right?
	I'm going to have to take a look.
	What is she?
	Queen...
	How do you spell that?
	Rhina of Jordan.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Queen Rhino.
	Here's her website.
	Queen of Jordan.
	By the way, they're...
	Oh, no, I'm thinking of Queen Noor.
	That's right.
	I'm thinking of the wrong one.
	She's queen of some other thing.
	Okay.
	But you know what?
	She'll be in the news soon, too.
	Because these are all hotties, by the way.
	Oh, Rhino's beautiful.
	And she's always on the political stage.
	She does stuff on C-SPAN. She's not an idiot.
	I see her all the time.
	But anyway, they have the litany or the meme that's going around is that the son is not as powerful as the dad.
	Right, right.
	They're going to kick him out.
	I mean, it's the same.
	Actually, listening to Judith Miller, you're getting the true timeline and the true memes that are going to be pushed down the public's throat.
	The BBC, for the budget they have, which is they have like a $3 billion budget or whatever annually.
	First they screwed up World Trade Center 7.
	They called the collapse 20 minutes before it collapsed.
	Right.
	They can't get it straight.
	They got the wrong...
	It's because they see it as East Coast time.
	They get confused.
	They get confused over there.
	They can't figure it out.
	So, apparently, all hell's breaking loose in Jordan.
	But, wait a minute, no Egypt, then Jordan.
	Yeah, well, there's actually a couple of...
	There is all hell breaking loose in a number of different Gitmo nation states.
	We've got Albania, Darfur.
	Today, by the way, hashtag Jan 30 is Sudan.
	And I went over to look at nononrwatchproject.org, George Clooney's eye in the sky, and wow, his most recent news update is from January 20th, so he's all over it.
	Lebanon, we have unrest.
	Hungary, I think Hungary is high on the list, because of course they refuse the IMF bailout, so they'll get theirs.
	Morocco?
	But I guess, according to the script, it is indeed Jordan next.
	Erin Burnett also messed up.
	She was on Morning Joe.
	I get this feeling they threw this bit together all at the last minute, so that's why people got confused.
	Well, maybe it was Jordan, and maybe Egypt just jumped the gun.
	Maybe the shill Facebookers just jumped the gun.
	It just happened quicker than they thought.
	Here's Erin Burnett.
	She weighs in.
	Erin Burnett, of course, I was madly in love with Erin, the anchor of Squawk Box on CNBC. You and Rush Limbaugh.
	Screw him.
	Look, I at least have some shot.
	But then when I found out she was, you know, on the Council of Foreign Relations, like, oh, okay, she became very unattractive all of a sudden.
	And so she's on Morning Joe, and she lets a big one go at the very end.
	And in fact, they're trying to cut her off.
	Listen to this.
	And finally, a story that you've reported on for so long now, unrest from Tunisia to Egypt to Yemen.
	Any effect yet?
	They're so not with the program, they didn't have Jordan on the list.
	Yeah.
	They did not get the memo.
	So someone forgot to inform Aaron what to and what not to talk about.
	In the overseas markets or here in the United States?
	Yes.
	And, you know, Joe, our angle on this, it's interesting.
	You look at Egypt, we've seen it in the market.
	It's down 20%.
	This is one of the most developed economies in the Middle East.
	As we said yesterday, the second biggest economy in the Middle East.
	One angle, you know, we've been talking to a lot of the wealthy people, and I... Which she does in her spare time.
	I talk to a lot of the wealthy people, you know.
	As you know, that's what I do when we're on the Council of Foreign Relations.
	We talk to all the wealthy people.
	I heard you all talk about your friends who had family there.
	You know, what I've been hearing, and this has surprised a lot of the wealthy, is that a lot of children of the wealthy...
	The children of the wealthy.
	Is it like, what is it like?
	It's like the Charlie and Sheen and Emilio Estevez of Egypt?
	Yes.
	Who run the big companies in Egypt and really control this economy.
	Oh, they're running it.
	Okay.
	This is the kids of the wealthy.
	...want to go out on the street and be a part of this.
	Uh-huh.
	This is not just even middle class, highly educated, English-speaking kids...
	Yeah, I saw those English speakers on TV.
	Yeah, you know what's funny about this protest?
	It seems to be an English protest.
	All the signs are in English.
	Everyone's yelling in English.
	Don't they speak Egyptian or Arabic or some language over there besides English?
	I like the game over meme.
	That's kind of funny.
	The kids have the signs that say, game over.
	That's kind of cool.
	Her big boo-boo is coming.
	And a lot of the wealthy who you would think are most in bed with the regime...
	No!
	No, they're in bed with you!
	...are actually very much in favor of regime change.
	I mean, they prefer to be orderly, obviously, but the people that you would think of the most at stake are for some sort of regime change and specific ideas on power sharing.
	One quick thing to add, though, guys...
	Okay, what are we going to add?
	You can already hear the music coming in.
	They're trying to like, no, no, no, Erin, ixnay on the ad thing.
	You know, you've talked so much about the role of social media in this.
	I think there's another thing that's a big part of it, and that's the financial crisis.
	You came into this financial crisis with countries that had very high unemployment, and it got a lot worse.
	They're like, no, no, no, don't talk about that.
	We've got unemployment at the time in America.
	Don't talk about that.
	Erin, shut up, shut up.
	The trade situation was decimated.
	So their unemployment went even further through the roof as food prices were going higher.
	The financial crisis in the United States and in Europe completely transformed this region.
	What?
	That's not even it.
	She's saying the financial crisis in America and in Europe completely transformed this region.
	But that's not the big boo-boo.
	And they're already trying to cut her off for that.
	Listen.
	So I think that's something to think about.
	Fascinating, Eric.
	Fascinating.
	Fascinating.
	You talk to the rich and that's what they told you.
	And one more thing.
	I know we gotta go, guys, but on...
	No, no, no!
	Don't say it!
	Cut her off!
	...on whether this spreads.
	If this spreads and democracy in the Middle East spreads, the United States could take a huge hit.
	Because democracy in a place like Saudi Arabia, you've talked a lot about who might come in power.
	What that means for oil prices, they're gonna go stratospheric.
	No!
	No!
	Don't talk about the oil!
	Oh, no!
	Oh, no!
	She did it!
	Cut her off.
	Milf.
	That's one mother I'd like to.
	She said it.
	It's all about oil.
	This whole thing from beginning to end is about the price of oil.
	It was predicted.
	It was predicted.
	We're going to do some clip showdowns.
	I have one.
	Okay.
	Now, what you just heard from her is kind of different than what you're just going to hear now from a guy.
	New York Times.
	Is this the Gaga vs.
	Bieber clip?
	No, no.
	Gaga vs.
	Bieber is coming up.
	Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen.
	New York Times guy ranting about no oil.
	Oh, we're going to have a showdown.
	That's right.
	Okay.
	Do we play this clip?
	Aaron talks about this huge economy, the second biggest in the Middle East, blah, blah, blah.
	This guy, and by the way, last show, as people remember, we went over some of the oil stats that involve Egypt.
	Most of the current discoveries are being made in Egypt.
	Apache oil, by the way, a possible, I think we'll be talking about that.
	Can we invest in that?
	Apache oil?
	No, I think you'd want to short it.
	Oh, okay.
	But I don't recommend things that short.
	I'm not a counselor here, so do not take my advice.
	But patchy oil is huge in the Egyptian oil.
	But meanwhile, so we get a little disinformation.
	And by the way, what you're going to hear, and this is a New York Times guy...
	It's going to be exactly the opposite of what Aaron said.
	He's going to definitely defuse any oils, you know, worrying about Americans having to worry about oil.
	But at the same time, you have to remember this is a six-pack.
	We have six other people, including the ex-ambassador and everybody else, and nobody, not one person says anything to this idiot that, hey, no, there's plenty of oil in Egypt.
	It's one of the things they do there.
	Nobody, all these experts, nobody seems to notice this.
	So, but play it.
	Israeli defense posture since 1973.
	They have nuclear weapons.
	Do we really believe that Egypt is going to launch another war against Israel?
	I don't think the problem would be in Asia.
	I think it's the destabilization and the loss of any kind of...
	Clearly Hamas becomes a bigger problem.
	Gaza becomes a much bigger problem for Israel.
	But this is what I'm talking about.
	That is not a cataclysmic event.
	It's a problem.
	If Saudi goes, that's a cataclysmic event.
	Do you think Iran is a cataclysmic event for the world?
	Yes, yes, but how is it not Iran?
	Egypt has no oil, no money.
	But massive influence throughout the world.
	No money.
	And they have that, what is that crazy thing that, what's that canal thing?
	Is that worth anything, John?
	The canal?
	The Suez Canal, I don't know.
	What's that canal?
	I mean, does that have any importance?
	They got no money, they got no oil.
	This guy goes on and on like this.
	I'm going, what?
	So, in our chat room earlier in the week, GX2 and Mr.
	Oil, the brains behind NoAgendaRecords.com, come up with a theory that I like.
	The theory goes that because of the, what is it called now?
	Egyptian revolt.
	Revolt in Egypt.
	That the Suez Canal will close, forcing China to ship its goods via the west coast of the United States with the Berkshire Hathaway train system.
	Well, that's an interesting speculation because you'd have to do a calculation on the distance because they could go around the horn.
	Yeah, but the horn is dangerous.
	We all know that.
	You don't want to be sailing around the horn.
	You can't sail around the horn.
	Well, I mean, you can.
	They do it.
	Yeah, crazy guys.
	Like the Oneiden line.
	You don't know that.
	No, I don't.
	That's a very interesting theory.
	I liked it.
	I really liked it, too.
	It's classic, no agenda.
	It is totally classic no agenda.
	That's what the high-speed rail is all about.
	We're shutting down...
	Wow.
	Even I couldn't go that deep.
	No, no, these guys are awesome.
	One strategically placed explosive, and that thing's closed.
	I mean, it's pretty vulnerable, right?
	No, the Suez Canal has been the subject of a number of wars.
	The British had to fight to keep it open.
	Yeah, it's a problem.
	But they went to Jordan instead, and so they lost...
	Well, let's thank some producers before we keep going with this stuff.
	It is classic.
	And you heard it here.
	John C. Dvorak was not adverse to the theory.
	No.
	No, I wasn't.
	I find it fascinating as a concept.
	Okay.
	So we have three executive producers we want to promote on this show.
	Of course, Baron von Pelsmacher came in again with a...
	$990.10 donation.
	Then, of course, he added another $9.90 to get another nighthood.
	And he has a long note, which I'm going to go find.
	Here it is.
	Hi, Adam and John.
	And, of course, in the European sense it says a comma 10.
	Right, that really messes up our spreadsheets.
	Yeah, it does, curiously.
	In equals 99% non-contributing listeners versus a meager 1% who help make no agenda possible.
	Ah, he's calling out the 99% who are not 1%ers.
	The boners.
	Yeah, who aren't donors.
	Nice.
	If it's truly so that 99% of the No General listeners never contributed financially to the show or to its creators continuing this endeavor, Adam and John, then I think this donation is meant to call them all out as douchebags.
	Douchebags.
	I added the S. Oh, he wanted you to hit the button hard, he says.
	Oh, let me hit it really hard.
	Dear ladies and gentlemen, fellow obdurate slaves of Gitmo Planet, if you are listening to this show at all, it's because John and Adam are making it worth your while.
	No one, no one out there is giving you what these gentlemen work hard at every single week.
	This is true.
	All the rest of the media is feeding you crap.
	And you were pointing that out immediately in today's show.
	Yeah, right on.
	And practically all your politicians or people in power are out to screw you over!
	That's absolutely true!
	Yeah, they are.
	One way or the other, big or small.
	It's time you admit this to yourselves and help Adam and John To keep the show going, even if it's only a few bucks, everyone can spare at least that much.
	And you can.
	Think about Japan parking meters.
	And if you want to de-douching, it'll cost you a little bit more.
	Yet there may be a better way.
	And to help you all along towards de-douching, I propose a little competitive fundraising.
	I've also contributed the remaining $9.90 and want to dedicate the following knighthood to precisely the 33rd No Agenda listener who donates exactly $131.40 USD. Just for your info...
	You're not supposed to talk about that part.
	Oh!
	It says, don't mention this on the show.
	Oh, well, I was going to get that.
	This is just where I would have gone.
	Just for your information, and not for reading out loud.
	Oh, that's the way I would have gone.
	Douche.
	I knew that was coming.
	I knew you wouldn't.
	Don't you read ahead like most normal radio guys?
	If it's on a prompter.
	No, the words come out of your mouth, but you're already looking further.
	I'm amazed you can't do that.
	I can do that on a prompter.
	I don't do it normally when I'm reading off a sheet.
	A prompter.
	I can do it on a prompter because the letters are bigger.
	I have to squint to see this.
	I made the best human resource.
	How much does that human resource have to donate to get that?
	It's like a knighthood for a tenth of the cost.
	Yeah, $131.40.
	So the 33rd human resource, which of course is a lucky number and a message to home base, the 33rd Donor of that amount receives a knighthood for a fraction of what it would cost, and eventually, of course, a ring.
	I saw an email.
	Eric has almost finalized all the back coin stuff, and we've saved our money, too, by the way.
	Yeah, we have.
	We kept a bunch of them.
	We had to save our money for these rings.
	Rings aren't free.
	Thanks for the honorary...
	Okay.
	Anyway, that's Pelsmacher's Baron von Pelsmacher, the Baron of Belgium and other outlying areas.
	I just want to give him a little Hot Pocket.
	Love you, man.
	He puts the challenge down, so we'll put that on the noagenda.org slash NADonation page.
	I'll make a special little spot for that this week.
	I have a shrine to him at the house here.
	A shrine?
	Which I pray to twice a week.
	We need a shrine.
	We should make the No Agenda Donor Shrine.
	Yeah, well, he would be the one.
	He's the only one on it.
	I remember about two and a half years ago, some guy wrote in, I'm going to beat Pelsmockers in donations.
	He can't win.
	Yeah, no one.
	That was the last I heard of him.
	No one.
	No one.
	Thank you, Staph and Pelsmockers.
	Thank you.
	What's going on?
	And then onward, we have two more.
	We have associate executive producer John Evdeman.
	Remember him?
	Yeah, from last week.
	Thanks for the honorary knighthood last week.
	And so this is a kickstart toward a real knighthood.
	He's been listening since show number one.
	Uh-huh.
	So he could use a deep de-douching.
	Absolutely.
	Love to do that.
	You've been de-douched.
	He'd appreciate some of his karma for his wife and kids.
	Okay, I've got that for you too, John.
	You've got karma.
	They got the whole thing.
	He's an exclusive member of the 274 Club, which is now closed.
	The 275 Club is open for business.
	And another associate executive producer, Stephen Vanderhove.
	Vanderhove.
	Vanderhove in Belhaven, North Carolina, who I went back and forth with.
	In fact, I may have a letter from him.
	I might read it at the middle of the show.
	I asked him if he wanted to be a member of the 274 Club, and he said, nah.
	So he became a member of the 272.7 Club.
	Well, there is no such thing.
	I know.
	Why did he do that?
	That's interesting.
	He didn't think the 274 Club.
	Maybe he doesn't like Evden.
	I don't know.
	I have no idea.
	But we could put him in there.
	No, I mean, if he didn't donate 274, he can't be in the club.
	Yeah.
	It's a shame.
	I said I'd throw in the extra $1.30.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Cheapskate.
	He only dropped in a penny.
	Okay, anyway, we want to thank...
	Yeah, that's it.
	We've got one and two.
	Okay, I've got a couple of promotional items.
	I wanted to give a shout-out to Russell Crawford, 15 years old.
	I don't have a lot of money to donate to the show.
	I thought I would do my part to help out as much as I can.
	We love when the young kids are on board.
	And by the way, 15, not so young anymore.
	15 is the new 13.
	15 is the new 20.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I went the wrong way.
	He's made NoAgendaTheme.com, a template for WordPress.
	That you can find at noagendatheme.com, which is not only great because it's the No Agenda theme.
	It's exactly the same.
	It's the No Agenda theme.
	It'll also be great if our site blows up and we need a backup, then we've got one good to go.
	So we appreciate that, Russell.
	Thank you so much.
	I'd like to make everyone aware there is a new Twitter account that is built specifically for following in your Flipboard.
	No Agenda Flip is the Twitter account.
	Have you ever seen Flipboard, John?
	You know what that is?
	No.
	All the kids are doing it now.
	The kids?
	Yeah.
	It's like a thing for your tablet.
	And it creates like a newspaper cool looking thing from your Twitter and Facebook.
	Oh yeah, I've seen these.
	And No Agenda Flip is actually, it looks very cool.
	You get like a whole Gitmo Nation publication.
	And then I'd like to say hello to a new friend of the show in Romania.
	And I'm not sure if he wants to be named, so I won't do that just in case.
	However, he has built an amazing site.
	This one was missing from the arsenal, John.
	We did not have this in the No Agenda website network.
	And I'm glad he thought of it.
	He has built for us NoAgendaSex.com.
	It is a sex dating site.
	You can build a profile, share pictures, hook up, do anything you would expect.
	From one of the...
	What are these sites?
	This will give the five women who listen to the show a lot of attention.
	Well, we got some gay guys.
	Oh, that too.
	Yeah, I can hook up.
	But members can create accounts as male, female, lesbian, gay, couple, transsexual, transgendered.
	And you get your pictures and you can buy ranking points.
	And this, of course, will help the show.
	So you can send messages to each other and send No Agenda Sex money and stuff.
	It's cool.
	Very, very, very proud we have that in the network.
	So, by the way, I just want to back up.
	Did you mention Russell Crawford's website that people can go pick up this theme?
	Yeah, noagendatheme.com.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Exactly.
	And by the way, I wanted to just add to that.
	If you do have a blog or something, it's just a mild blog, and you want to use our theme.
	Yeah, of course you do.
	It's great.
	It's a great theme to use.
	And then there's another website that has really caught on, and I'd like to thank Tyce Brauers for making the art for that.
	It is napforhumanity.com, as we are starting to build up our carbon credit kitty.
	Yep.
	We're going to kick this off with a publicity campaign.
	Nap for Humanity is going to be, I think, the big movement of 2011.
	Yes, so if you take a nap for 30 minutes, we can create carbon credits and sell those on the open market.
	And of course, just like Steve Jobs and Apple, whenever we're excited about something, we create a jingle for it.
	Nap for Humanity.
	There you go.
	Nap for Humanity.
	So...
	That's a long gong at the end there.
	Nap for humanity.
	Long gong silver.
	Baron Stephen Pelsmacher, thank you so much for being the executive producer of episode 274 of the No Agenda program.
	Associate executive producer, Stephen van der Havre.
	I hope that's the way you pronounce it, because it could be Stephen van der Havre, or have even, for that matter, but I think it's van der Havre.
	And, of course, this episode's Associate Executive Producer as well.
	And a 274 Club member, exclusively John Evdeman.
	No one else can become a member of the 274 Club.
	And all of you can, of course, put this on your resume.
	It's an official credit.
	You can slap it into IMDB. You can put it on your profile page, on your revolutionary Facebook profile wall.
	You can put it at the bottom of your email and your signature.
	Of course, that doesn't go for Steven Pelsmarkers because his credits are now so long that they're clogging up SMTP mail servers everywhere, so you can't do that.
	Everyone else out there, you have a very simple mission, although extremely important.
	You must go out and propagate the formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	We're out.
	Order.
	Order.
	All right, it's the mother of the brother.
	Shut up, slave.
	Just take your medicine.
	Just take your medicine.
	Don't forget, no agenda says, Take your meds, slave, and nap for humanity. .
	Yeehaw!
	So, a couple of really...
	The show notes, by the way, once again, are, I have to say, outstanding, and I can easily say that because I'm not creating them by myself.
	I've got now ten No Agenda producers who are using my secret decoder ring system.
	We're creating these show notes.
	They're just outrageous, and they're full, and they're complete, and they're structured.
	And people are enjoying using them.
	And in that, you have the What Color Is Your Revolution node.
	And if you look behind that, there's tons of information about...
	It's really interesting the way these social media revolutions are coming together.
	And I actually wrote an article about this, John.
	It'll be published in MarketWatch and PC Magazine.
	Hello?
	What?
	Just seeing if you're listening.
	You're not listening, are you?
	What are you doing?
	I'm listening.
	Oh.
	So I wrote an article.
	You're going on about who's behind the social thing and you wrote an article.
	Yeah, for Market Watch and PC Magazine.
	Well, how would you do that?
	Just trying to see if you're listening, douche.
	You're not, thanks.
	I'm listening.
	I'm listening to an extreme.
	And here's...
	Huh?
	Are you done?
	You done making fun of me?
	Go on.
	Okay, so here's how it works.
	First, the State Department gives information to the mainstream media, including Al Jazeera, and they call it a WikiLeak cable.
	And it says, oh, the elites and leaders of your country are evil.
	And then they create a hashtag, which what works well is something simple for the idiot slaves like Jan 25 or Jan 30.
	Today is supposed to be...
	Jan 30 is supposed to be Sudan.
	That's their hashtag.
	And then you get a bunch of shills to come in and start blogging about it.
	Now, this is where it gets really interesting.
	Well...
	Can I interrupt with a clip?
	Yeah.
	Oh, please.
	Who is exactly behind the uprising of Fox presentation?
	Now, they were talking about, here's what was going on, and they kind of killed this.
	Nobody else has really gone in this direction.
	But this is actually kind of amusing to listen to.
	And this guy is asking the question.
	He says, who's behind this?
	Who's behind this?
	Where's Lech Walesa?
	I mean, who's going to take over?
	There's nobody.
	Lech Walesa.
	Now, there's a name for you.
	Right.
	So play it.
	Media for two days now, talking to people either from the government or from the opposition, and nobody was able to answer who are the 10, 12, 20 Lesh Falesa, Vaclav Havel, or Musavi of Egypt.
	And the answer is very simple, because the way it started was launched by bloggers.
	On Facebook, on internet, the first 80,000, 200,000 people who took the streets were basically called by leaders who are not visible.
	Right.
	Bloggers!
	It's bloggers on Facebook!
	Well, the thing is, you know, whenever someone is called, this is how it works.
	This is exactly how it works in the Ministry of Truth's favor.
	So it's always been, yeah, no, it's a blogger.
	So these people are discredited, and you can come in as a blogger, and you can be a total shill.
	There's a couple of them.
	That are showing up.
	They're being interviewed now.
	This is what you've got to watch when they're being interviewed on Al Jazeera.
	This is one cute chick.
	I'm trying to think of her name.
	Have you seen her?
	The one cute chick?
	Let me think.
	Yeah, there's a cute chick who's a blogger.
	And here it is.
	There's a really good article in the show notes called The Socialist Roots of the Egyptian Protests.
	And there's actually two people.
	Here she is.
	Gigi Ibrahim.
	Gigi Ibrahim.
	And if you look at her Facebook page, she's in love with Karl Marx.
	Ha, ha, ha.
	Literally.
	She also lived in Anaheim, California.
	Figures.
	Yeah.
	And so she's one of the people who started this hashtag revolution.
	And then there's a couple other people.
	Who's this guy?
	This is...
	I can't see his name.
	I probably wouldn't be able to pronounce it.
	I'm so sad.
	But the shills come in.
	It's really easy.
	The shills come in and then they just start riling everybody up and it's real easy.
	You've got unemployment, just like Aaron Burnett said.
	They've got financial problems.
	The whole world is in financial trouble.
	Lots of people are without jobs.
	Now, the only thing I'm hoping for is that we get some, of course it's not going to happen, but we get some shills here and, you know, the American slaves take to the streets.
	Well, they have, actually.
	Where?
	In this regard.
	Well, play, I got a couple clips.
	I mean, they're taking to the streets in favor of ousting Mubarak.
	Yeah, but they should be in favor of ousting Obama.
	They got the wrong name.
	Well, what gets me is these reports that came in on CNN. Did you have a clip, by the way, of this woman?
	No, I don't.
	I mean, I have one, but she's extremely boring.
	The BBC interview.
	And, of course, you know the BBC. They're like, oh, we screwed up the Jordan thing.
	What's next?
	Oh, we have to get Gigi on.
	Call Gigi.
	Of course, they immediately got G, and she's a Marxist from Anaheim, and she's one of the driving forces behind the Egyptian revolution.
	Well, I paid a lot of attention to CNN, because they seem to be, when a real crisis happens, they seem to have all the memes, and they have everything all, their ducks are in a row.
	Uh-huh.
	In fact, they've introduced a new European meme, which I find to be weird, and I've heard it a couple of times.
	Actually, there's a new meme they're using called, we have, well, the play that CNN uses on holiday, which Americans do not say on holiday.
	No, that's British.
	It's British.
	So why are we all of a sudden saying on holiday?
	Because you can't trust the BBC to put their report together properly, so we have to read the script.
	And of course, it's written for the BBC. So it still says on holiday.
	Right, so they say on holiday.
	On holiday.
	Absolutely done.
	Fran Townsend, thank you.
	We really appreciate you joining us this evening.
	You're welcome.
	An American couple started on vacation and ended up in the midst of a political revolt.
	Leah and Neil Dunn were in Egypt on holiday for the last couple of weeks and could not get out of the country yesterday because of the government imposed curfew.
	Well, they just arrived in New York just this evening and explained when they first sensed there was going to be trouble in the country.
	Take a listen.
	It was the people talking.
	Everywhere you went, the Arabs were talking to each other.
	And then they'd share with us.
	They'd turn and talk politics with us.
	And they were generally very friendly to the Americans.
	But they're recruiting our support.
	They were also, at that point, the Internet was still on.
	And so they were organizing, we knew, a huge protest on Friday, which is when we were due to go out.
	Well, it doesn't say they kept hearing from Egyptians who were inspired by how Tunisians overthrew their government.
	The couple says the experience has made them truly appreciate the freedoms that Americans have.
	Right.
	Right.
	Freedoms.
	So this is why...
	He starts off with on holiday.
	He starts off with on vacation, you notice.
	And then he switches.
	It's like he went from kind of ad-libbing to the script.
	To the script.
	On holiday.
	I'm amazed he didn't have the BBC accent.
	By the way, there's a lot of Brits...
	On television, I was watching the press.
	There's like...
	Brits everywhere.
	It's like we don't have American experts on the Middle East all of a sudden.
	It has to be British experts.
	I'm not quite sure why.
	In fact, the funny thing was, in a horrific...
	I mean, so Piers Morgan is as good as cancelled.
	He had...
	No, listen to this.
	This is amazing.
	He had the Cardushians on.
	Kim and Chloe Cardushian.
	Thursday night.
	And he couldn't even get half a million people to watch.
	And they even Twittered, watch us!
	They're like, nah.
	More people actually watched the Rachel Maddow supermarket special.
	No, actually it was a CNBC supermarket special and Rachel Maddow came in with $900,000 and the supermarket special came in with a half a million.
	He came in with under $500,000.
	Yeah, so the guy effectively failed.
	So what do they do Friday night?
	Instead of his show, they let him, oh crap, we should cancel this guy.
	He was kind of like the anchor for a little while there.
	He was anchoring back and forth on CNN. I'm going to ask you some really intelligent questions.
	Pierce, go home.
	Go home.
	We don't want you here.
	We don't care.
	Go back to England.
	Please.
	And they don't want you there either, apparently, from what we've understood from our producers in Gitmo Nation East.
	Whose decision was this?
	I don't know.
	I think Larry King had something to do with it as a gang.
	He's like, hey, this is a great idea.
	Whoever comes in, they gotta suck.
	Call that British guy.
	The guy who stole the money from the...
	Who pumped and dumped the stock and stole it.
	Call that guy.
	And they can ask me back special Save the Day.
	Maybe that's it.
	Maybe he's gonna make a Save the Day comeback.
	I like your version of his voice.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You got any more 24-year-olds?
	Hey, put that GG on.
	I want to talk to her about Egypt.
	Hey, hey.
	So you're a blogger.
	You're a blogger in Egypt.
	All right.
	So here's another thing.
	Here's CNN. I want people to...
	This is something...
	This is a little thing I want people to start listening for.
	I'm sorry, I'm cracking myself up.
	Yeah, I know.
	Somebody's got to laugh at your material.
	And that's the start.
	So, CNN Part 2.
	I want people to listen to the way this is produced.
	Normally when you interview people, you do not bring up a bunch of sound effects and crap behind them.
	What they've done here, they bring in this boring guy.
	You don't?
	You don't do that?
	It's cool, man.
	So they're talking to this guy and they're playing background noise.
	As the interview progresses, I'm going, what is this?
	Interesting.
	Sami Abdel-Aziz helped to organize.
	No, he's one of these guys, Sami Abdel-Aziz.
	He helped to organize.
	He's one of the guys.
	He's one of the guys.
	All right, so they got him.
	That protest.
	And what brought you out for this protest today?
	Why did you do it?
	It was in my mission notes from the CIA. Hello, Don, and thank you for the invite.
	I am here.
	As I said all along, we gave up on Mubarak government a long time ago.
	We are here to talk to our government, the American government, that it is time to stay true to our principles and the freedom and democracy that we talk about always.
	It's time to take a side.
	It's time to say that we are on the side of the people that are fighting for democracy and freedom.
	Alright, let's take a look at the rally today, Sammy.
	Did he not literally say our government, the U.S. government?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Well, he's right.
	Well, what was all the point of having a bunch of people...
	It's not like the protesters were in the studio.
	Well, it's neuro-linguistic programming.
	You're programmed by...
	These images, by the way, are also...
	They're meant to be shocking, but have you ever seen people leave a football game?
	It looks the same.
	It does.
	It's not like, oh boy, it's so scary.
	And by the way, those are American-made tanks.
	Enjoy that, eh?
	Yeah, play CNN Part 3, Idiots.
	Alright.
	Down, down with injustice!
	We gotta help out the people!
	They need justice!
	If there's no sort of democracy that we're promoting...
	Wow, that was a very American voice.
	We're not doing our job here.
	Well, that was because that was the protests in Atlanta.
	Okay, you're freaking me out.
	I'm like, wow, now that English has really improved over there.
	Yeah, just the same old shrill protesters that we have in this country.
	These women, I mean, they scream and yell and they sound.
	I mean, I can't imagine, as Mimi would always call it, oh, there's another dream date.
	I mean, you can't imagine being with one of these people, but that one woman who screeches, you know, they need justice or something.
	What the hell does she know?
	She lives in Atlanta.
	She just wants the snow to melt.
	So the other...
	I don't want to keep boring it stiff with this stuff from CNN, but I do have one more, which was the...
	And this was used over and over and over again.
	New terminology, CNN. I thought, when I first heard it, I thought, oh, this guy's just a bumbling idiot, and he just said it.
	But he's using...
	Just listen to this and see if there's a word out of place that doesn't really make any sense in the movie.
	But now the anti-Mubarak groundswell has spread to cities around the world.
	CNN is getting video and eye reports from around the world.
	This rally took place today in downtown Montreal.
	I-Reports.
	Yeah, that's their open program where you send in your stuff and they use it incessantly and you get paid nothing.
	It's I as in letter I, reports.
	Oh, I thought it was I like an eyeball.
	Well, that's kind of...
	Like eyewitness.
	That's kind of the joke of it.
	It's I as in interactive, and then eyewitness as in eyewitness.
	So that's all...
	You haven't...
	I mean, this has been around for five years, the I reports.
	It only stood out when I... I don't watch CNN. I watch C-SPAN. So you don't have to.
	Speaking of I... I verified with my 20-year-old daughter, and vodka balling is indeed all the rage.
	What?
	Yes, this was not a fake news report.
	Has she done it?
	She has seen many people do it.
	In fact, she says that some of her friends are in the YouTube videos we highlighted about this.
	And it comes from a movie, by the way.
	Oh, thank you, Hollywood.
	Yes, yes.
	Actually, I don't even feel...
	This can't be good for your eyeball.
	No, no, I don't think it is good for your eyeball.
	Here it is.
	These are the only eyeballs you have.
	You should treat them with respect.
	Well, you've got two.
	The kids are only doing it in one.
	Interestingly enough, and this comes from one of our producers, this first started in 2000 in a movie called Kevin and Perry Go Large, which is a British piece of cinematic work from English comedian Harry Enfield, where he actually does a vodka shot to the eye in this movie.
	And so, but this is indeed, and I just said offhand, I said, you know, this vodka ball, and she said, what?
	Like drinking vodka through your eye?
	Oh, yeah.
	It gets you really drunk fast, apparently, she said.
	Okay.
	Do you know it can also get you blind?
	She said, yeah, I don't do that.
	Good.
	Smart kid, huh?
	I'm amazed.
	Yeah, so it's real.
	It's not like a fake thing.
	Now, what is fake is the State of the Union address that Lucy gave.
	This was kind of snowed under.
	Ah, yes, I saw this.
	You saw it?
	Oh, okay.
	Well, very important because...
	I didn't take any clips from it because I really can't stand listening to Lucy.
	Well, it was very hard for me as well.
	It was an hour of Lucy.
	And when we say Lucy, we mean Janet Napolitano, our Secretary of Homeland Hinterland Security.
	And so we've done away with the old color-coded system.
	As you well know, we announced this on Thursday.
	We didn't know exactly what was coming in its place, but it's going to be much, much better.
	And I think it is as a public service to those who are napping for humanity that we not only listen to what Lucy has to say about the new system, but also deconstruct it bit by bit.
	Woody, are you game?
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Because of the trust we have in Americans to share in our collective security.
	That means riding on each other.
	The way she talks, she has phrases that don't really connect.
	She just throws them out one space, another phrase, another phrase.
	Do you notice this?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	She doesn't talk in actual sentences that make any sense.
	Well, what she does is, her technique is she's reading this, and she has to be very specific because, you know, obviously, before she went out there, someone went, okay, Lucy, listen, those jackasses at no agenda are going to pull every word apart you say, so make sure you don't mess it up.
	And she doesn't have a prompter, so she reads a line, looks down, memorizes it, looks up, reads the next line.
	That's why it sounds like that.
	So, of course, what she's saying here is denounce each other.
	This is very important that you tell on each other.
	This is good news.
	Good news.
	We're all on board with the program.
	Number one, denounce your neighbor.
	Denounce your neighbor and not for humanity.
	Today, I would like...
	Today!
	Today, people!
	By the way, she's like smiling with that grimace she has.
	Oh yeah, she's a horrible person.
	We're not even like three seconds into this thing.
	To announce the end of the old system of color-coded alerts.
	Oh, the crowd did not erupt like that.
	In their place, we will implement a new system that is built on a clear and simple premise.
	I like it.
	John, this is sounding good.
	A clear and simple premise.
	Built on.
	Yes, built on a clear and simple premise.
	When a threat develops that could impact you, the public...
	Slaves...
	You, the public, slaves?
	We will tell you.
	Okay!
	We will tell you.
	When we have a message for you, we will tell you.
	We will provide whatever information we can.
	So you know how to protect yourselves, your families, and your communities.
	By looking out and ratting on them.
	Under the new two-tiered system, DHS will coordinate with other federal entities to issue formal, detailed alerts regarding information about a specific or credible terrorist threat.
	So, specific or maybe even a credible one.
	But as long as it's specific, it doesn't actually have to be credible.
	Words do matter, Lucy.
	These alerts will include a clear statement that an imminent threat or an elevated threat is present.
	The alerts also will provide a concise summary of the potential threat, information about actions being taken to ensure public safety.
	I love the precise summary.
	Thank you.
	It'll be interesting when these start coming out.
	And recommended steps that individuals and communities can take.
	The new system reflects the reality.
	We're all...
	Here comes the Be Afraid Slave segment.
	That we must always be on alert and be ready.
	Always be looking over your shoulder, be afraid, be very afraid.
	This is important, you're afraid!
	When we have information about a specific credible threat, we will issue a formal alert providing as much information as we can.
	As we want to lie about.
	Now, depending on the nature of the threat, the alert may be limited to a particular audience.
	Hold on a second.
	I've got to take a vodka ball shot here.
	Alright, I'm better.
	Like law enforcement?
	Or a segment of the private sector?
	Like shopping malls or hotels?
	So we may only tell your shopping mall.
	We're not going to tell you, but the shopping mall will know.
	John, if it wasn't bad enough, now mall cops?
	I've got to be afraid of those fuckers?
	Mall cop.
	Paul Blart.
	Great movie, but too close to reality.
	Great movie?
	It's a piece of crap.
	It's a great movie.
	Mall cop was a great movie, but that's how frightening it is.
	We've got mall cops now, because they're on board with Lucy.
	Or, the alert may be issued more broadly to the American people, distributed through a statement from the Department of Homeland Security.
	How will we distribute this, Lucy?
	By the news media.
	Uh-huh.
	Ministry of Truth.
	And social media.
	Yeah!
	Yeah, we're going to put it on Twitter and Facebook.
	She has a Facebook page now, Department of Homeland Security.
	The alerts will be specific to the threat posed.
	They may recommend certain actions or suggest looking for specific suspicious behavior.
	Suspicious behavior.
	They will suggest looking for specific suspicious behavior.
	Yeah, whatever that means.
	Like doing internet radio shows.
	And they will have a specified end date.
	You can clap on that.
	Yeah, let's clap for the end date.
	Yeah, that's great, Lucy.
	So today we're beginning it.
	No, she made them clap.
	You can clap for that, for the end date.
	The end date may be 2035.
	Seems to be a new one with Obama.
	Yeah, 2035 is a code.
	A 90-day implementation period in which federal, state, and local law enforcement, governments, private and nonprofit sector partners, airports, and other transport hubs will officially transition to the new system, which flows actually from practice that has evolved over the past two years.
	Yeah, like shouting at the slaves while they're standing in line.
	That's the practice you've had.
	Like, put your shoes in the bin!
	Take off your belt!
	Ah, no liquids!
	So this means that the days are numbered for those automated recordings at airports and announcements about a color code level.
	Wait a minute, did she say there's not going to be any more automated recordings?
	No, about a color code level.
	Oh, I see.
	That were too often accompanied by far too little practical information.
	Yeah, like laughter from everybody.
	So, as I said, the new National Terrorism Advisory System is built on the common sense belief.
	Common sense is another good one.
	Common sense belief?
	Yeah, common sense belief.
	This is great.
	What does that mean?
	It means, don't be a denier.
	It's common sense.
	That we're all in this together.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	How does common sense apply to that?
	That we're all in this together as common sense?
	John, are you trying to be denialist on me?
	Go on.
	I'm going to have to denounce you that you're a denialist.
	...all have a role to play.
	And the system was actually developed in that same collaborative spirit.
	Oh, that's right.
	Someone asked me.
	...it was largely the work of a bipartisan task force that included law enforcement, former mayors and governors, and members of the previous administration.
	Some of the members of the task force are here in the audience today, and I want to thank them and ask for a round of applause for the work that they did to bring us to this new level.
	And I decided not to call them out by name by playing that clip because that would endanger their life.
	But there was more, unfortunately, about a minute more of this hour and a half long speech from Lucy about how bad the situation really is, John.
	The situation is dire.
	You know that Al-Qaeda is rampant in these United States of Gitmo Nation.
	We know that Al-Qaeda and other groups sharing their terrorist ideology continue to target us.
	It's an ideology.
	Yeah, it's an ideology.
	That's like a brotherhood of Muslim.
	The Muslim Brotherhood.
	She's not saying it, but that's what she means.
	Increasingly, this is done through affiliates in places like Yemen and the Arabian Peninsula.
	There we go.
	Here we go.
	We're also dealing with threats from terrorists who use the internet and social media like Facebook.
	Yeah, like the Department of Homeland Security Facebook page.
	That's your terrorist right there.
	Spreading terror on people.
	The definition of a terrorist is what you are.
	And YouTube.
	To reach vulnerable...
	And those kittens on YouTubes.
	They're reaching vulnerable...
	Piano playing cat.
	Yeah.
	Cat pees on man's head.
	It's terrorism, I tell you.
	Individuals and inspire new recruits.
	They're inspiring people.
	Now, historically, our counterterrorism efforts were based on the belief that we face the greatest risk from attacks planned and carried out by individuals coming from abroad.
	But that just wasn't good enough because we need to have some money spent on the streets of Gitmo Nation America.
	But the arrests of an increasing number of U.S. persons.
	I like this.
	U.S. persons.
	Who could they be, John?
	Do you have a list?
	Come on, you got the list?
	I'll make one.
	Yeah, you got the list.
	You know what it is.
	It's all those guys from all those foreigners who tried to blow stuff up.
	On terror-related charges in the last two years means that we must move beyond that paradigm.
	That's right.
	These arrests include Najibullah Zazi, a legal permanent resident arrested in 2009 for plotting to attack the New York City subway system.
	They include Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized U.S. citizen who attempted to explode a car bomb near Times Square.
	The guy who couldn't actually make it explode because he didn't have anything that would blow up.
	Remember that guy?
	Yeah.
	How many people did all these guys kill?
	Let me think.
	None.
	Last year.
	And we've also had recent arrests in places like Portland, Oregon.
	Yeah.
	An arrest.
	Not a terrorist attempt.
	A sting operation.
	The kid dialed the number on his cell phone.
	Dallas, Texas.
	And right here in the Washington area.
	Woo!
	So today we operate under the premise that individuals prepared to carry out terrorist acts might already be in the country and could carry out such further acts of terrorist violence with little or no warning.
	Don't worry.
	We'll tell you.
	So that was horrible, and I'm glad it didn't get a lot of news coverage because of the script in Egypt.
	I think we should call it that.
	The script in Egypt.
	That'd be a good one, yeah.
	I wonder how long this script in Egypt's going to play out.
	Well, they're going to move it to Jordan, and then they're going to move it to...
	It's got to be Sudan, because that's why Clooney's in the game.
	Because Clooney is then going to...
	I mean, I think Clooney...
	They didn't tell Clooney.
	They didn't Clooney him in.
	Why he had to do that satellite thing in Sudan, but I think it's going to happen in Sudan because, of course, we can't actually have that independent southern Sudanese state.
	That would be no good for the oil trade up north.
	So there's going to be a revolution uprising somehow, and that'll be Clooney's new mission.
	I think we can almost safely call that, but that's going to happen.
	There was something very interesting because she mentions the underwear bomber.
	The underwear bomber is on trial in Detroit.
	Did you know that?
	Yeah, after being in jail for over a year.
	So, this Fox News station, local station in Detroit, met with some...
	Oh, right, right.
	This is a great, great clip.
	You got the clip?
	Yeah, I got the clip.
	Clip's great.
	met with a couple of passengers who happened to be lawyers who were on that flight.
	A bomber appears in federal court in Detroit.
	Umar Farouk Abdul-Metalab is accused of trying to blow up a plane over Detroit on Christmas Day 2009.
	Fox News, Amy Lang has more from outside federal court where a trial date has now been set.
	Amy.
	By the way, it's a trial date, John.
	It's a trial date.
	Yes, a trial date has been set, but it was actually more interesting to hear from a couple of the passengers who showed up here at court today who have a very interesting theory about what really happened.
	The U.S. government escorted him through security without a passport and we believe gave him an intentionally defective bomb.
	Now that sounds like a no agenda listener right there, doesn't it?
	Yeah, we discussed this in great detail during the period in which it happened and we had a lot of clips from a lot of interesting characters who had witnessed the whole situation.
	All of it kind of whitewashed.
	But then they actually give these people credibility, which is the amazing part.
	It's a startling allegation from two local attorneys who were on board the 2009 Christmas Day flight to Detroit when Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab tried to blow up a bomb hidden in his underwear.
	Kurt and Lori Haskell think the U.S. government was behind the whole thing.
	It was intentional and it went this far to further the war on terror, to get body scanners in the airports, to increase the TSA's budget, to renew the Patriot Act, and whatever other reasons you want to list.
	The Haskell...
	So, these aren't two just schleps.
	They're lawyers.
	Yeah, that were on the flight.
	I know, this guy, of course, no national play whatsoever.
	Of course, why would it?
	They're two crackpots.
	Yeah, crazy deniers.
	This is a local news story in Detroit.
	We have to thank our producers for pointing this one out to us.
	And, you know, I think they're probably dead on.
	I mean, this is kind of what we concluded.
	Yeah.
	And this is...
	This is exactly the problem with the ministry.
	I mean, this kid was an idiot.
	I mean, you could just look at him.
	He was dumb.
	Yeah.
	And then all the backstories that showed up about how everybody knew the CIA and all these people, they all knew about it, but nobody did anything because we weren't coordinated enough and weren't sharing information.
	Every meme known to man was, like, played into this bogus event.
	Yeah.
	And then they still never explained away a couple of things to people that they took out of the plane, and then they brought these weirdos in to talk to them, and the guy filming the whole thing that was in the plane, which was witnessed by numerous people, and that's been completely pushed under the rug.
	Never seen that footage anywhere.
	Anyway.
	So, but speaking of Ministry of Truth, the successor to Robert Gibbs, who, by the way, has the worst case of herpes on his lip, it won't go away.
	Genital?
	On his lip?
	I don't know.
	He is kind of a dickhead, but that's taking it a bit far, perhaps.
	Bada-bing.
	So, Jay Carney, former Time Magazine journalist, has been announced as the new spokeshole for the White House.
	He was also...
	What's his last name?
	Carney.
	C-A-R-N-E-Y. You mean as like a carnival guy?
	That's the joke.
	Step right in.
	Hey, come on.
	Come on, little girl.
	Come on in.
	Only a quarter.
	Oh, man, that's pretty bad.
	So the kicker, of course, Carney, who is a Yale University graduate, former Moscow correspondent for Time magazine, also the magazine's Washington bureau chief through the 2008 presidential campaign, so he was way on board working for the Obama campaign.
	He is also married to Claire Shipman, a journalist for ABC News, buying yet another ABC News connection.
	Oh yeah, the US ABC News thing is pretty funny to follow.
	Yeah, I mean, it's just crazy.
	ABC News is so incredibly compromised.
	They're all over the White House.
	The connections are just crazy.
	Talking about ABC News, we didn't bring this up when we went, although I have a clip not on this, I didn't send you the clip, but I have it on it somewhere.
	But remember after the Obama speech last week, we didn't go over the fact that it seemed as if on ABC, Diane Sawyer was plastered.
	She did come across pretty plastered.
	It's hard to tell, though, sometimes.
	No, I think she was, because I was listening to her again on another thing later, later in the week, and I think if you put them side by side, she was obviously partying.
	And on the air.
	Hey, with George Stephanopoulos.
	Hey, George!
	Warning to all you would-be broadcasters out there, don't drink.
	Don't drink and be on the air.
	It's not a good policy.
	It's not good.
	It never works.
	Regarding the genital herpes on Gibbs' lip, they're still trying to push the Gardasil on the kids.
	And how do we turn something into news, John?
	I know I'm just kind of asking you.
	We do a research study.
	Yes, we do a study.
	So HPV, apparently, doesn't only take place in the vagina.
	We all know now that it also takes place in the penis, because we have to give little boys this thing as well.
	Although that's relatively new.
	Then of course it causes anal cancer.
	So now everyone has to have this shot.
	But now, a worrisome uptick in the incidence of certain head and neck cancers among middle-aged and even younger Americans and some experts link the trend, they're talking about HPV, to a rise in the popularity of oral sex over the past few decades.
	Thank you, Bill Clinton.
	And I read this, I'm like, you're telling me that in all of humanity, We now have a worrisome uptick of certain head and neck cancers, certain, that would be HPV, the human papillomavirus.
	You'll get it.
	Papillomavirus.
	Because of a rise in popularity of oral sex over the past few decades, according to the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health in Madison.
	Do you think they get any funding from the Gardasil people?
	Huh, I wonder.
	Did you look it up?
	A 2007 study in the New England Journal of Medicine found that younger people with head and neck cancers, this is the New England Journal of Medicine, who tested positive for oral HPV infection were more likely to have had multiple oral sex partners in their lifetime.
	What are they trying to do to us here?
	Shoot you up.
	No, they're trying to discourage oral sex.
	The researchers also reported that cancers of the tonsil and the base of the tongue have been increasing every year since 1973 and wrote that, quote, widespread oral sex practices amongst adolescents may be a contributing factor in this increase.
	Maybe.
	They got no evidence.
	This could be caused by high fructose corn syrup, for all we know, which has also been increasing, if you haven't noticed.
	And also the use of soy oil has been increasing, if you haven't noticed.
	And people eat more hot chilies, which seems to be kind of an irritant.
	No, I know.
	This is bull crap.
	It's clear what it is.
	Hot pockets!
	That's where it's coming from.
	It's just amazing that these stuff...
	The New England Journal of Medicine, man.
	It's disgusting how this is being pushed onto people, these vaccines, that you really, it's no science in on whether you need it or not.
	And Gitmo Nation, just to say with the vaccine theme for a second, Gitmo Nation Lowlands, I think we talked about this, they have this Q fever.
	It comes from goats, apparently.
	It was a while back.
	Right.
	But a lot of people died.
	Like 10, 15 people died from this and thousands got sick.
	That's more than the terrorists have done.
	In 2007, 4,000 people got the Q fever.
	In Gitmo Nation lowlands.
	Last year, 10 people died of Q fever-related diseases.
	I'm translating loosely here, but you know how they always say that.
	Flu-like illness.
	Could have been everything.
	So now they have started vaccinating people in risk groups of dying of the Q fever, which comes from...
	Goat farmers.
	Yeah, goat farmers.
	No, only people with heart problems.
	And they say specifically, look, look!
	Look!
	The vaccine has not been tested.
	It has not been certified, but we're going to start vaccinating people anyway.
	What?
	Yes.
	The National Health Service in Gitmo Nation Lowlands literally says, okay, look.
	Look, slaves.
	Look.
	Look.
	Let me be clear.
	We need to vaccinate you.
	If you have any problem with your heart, if you've had any previous problems with your heart, you're going to get a vaccination.
	We have not tested this.
	It's not been certified, but we think it's important you get this.
	Wow.
	Yeah, it's unbelievable, isn't it?
	This is Dr.
	A. Klink.
	His name actually is Dr.
	Klink.
	Colonel Klink?
	K-L-I-N-K. He's the guy that is in charge of all this stuff.
	So they're just playing with us again?
	Of course.
	But the Dutch don't know it because they've never seen Hogan's Heroes.
	So they don't know about Colonel Klink.
	But they're playing with us.
	But isn't that amazing?
	Not certified, has not been tested, but we think we should vaccinate you anyway.
	Sick people.
	Wow.
	Yeah, exactly.
	So, before we take our break, since you talked about research, I do have a research clip.
	Oh, nice.
	Oddball research.
	This is one of those things where you go, wow, gee, I would have never figured this one out.
	There is a new study out about TV news and attractive anchors and reporters.
	Let me guess.
	It's real, although I'm not sure it's 100% scientific.
	They never say that about blowjobs giving you throat cancer.
	They never say, I'm not sure it's real.
	I mean, could be wrong.
	Two researchers from Indiana University set out to see if pretty sexy TV anchors and reporters would attract more male viewers, so...
	Basically, here's the outcome.
	The more attractive the female anchors, the more attention men pay.
	But the less they remember of what the news was actually about.
	Women, on the other hand, were able to retain the content of the stories.
	I have no comeback.
	That is the clip of the week.
	You win, hands down, it's a beautiful thing.
	We don't remember a word they said.
	What?
	What?
	What did you say?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, what?
	Huh?
	Yeah, what?
	Do you think actually, like, the information might get in, though?
	It might.
	I think these guys are more going, wow.
	I wonder if she'd date me.
	What if I have a shot?
	I wonder if she's wearing any panties.
	What's the girl?
	Megyn Kelly.
	Is that her name?
	Megyn Kelly?
	Is that her name?
	Oh, that's your favorite.
	Yeah, I like her.
	There's actually another one that's shown up as a substitute here and there.
	One?
	What are you talking about?
	There's dozens, but there's one in particular I think has a lot of potential.
	There's a bunch of women over at CNBC who do the same thing.
	Dude, they've got them showing up everywhere.
	And they're smart.
	This is the horrible thing.
	Yeah, a lot of them have two degrees.
	Wow, then they're smart.
	Where do they keep these women?
	In the studio?
	Do they put them in a closet and lock them up?
	I've never seen them.
	They're never in my life.
	I mean, I got one.
	You don't see them walking and wandering around.
	They're not wandering around.
	They're not bumping into them at cocktail parties.
	They're not bumping into them at cocktail parties, that's for sure.
	So we may not be the cutest guys, but we do think, well, actually, I think we're doing okay in that department.
	We don't look so cute on the no agenda challenge point.
	Oh, the new one?
	Yeah.
	We don't look so good there.
	I know.
	These things happen.
	That's all right.
	Sometimes you've just got a bad shot.
	So let's take some call-out thank yous to folks.
	Well, let me finish my thought.
	So we may not look so cute, but we do think that some of the information stays with you.
	Right?
	Oh, good segue.
	Beautiful.
	And I stepped on it.
	I'm sorry.
	That's all right.
	Nap for Humanity.
	Time for your Nap for Humanity, everybody.
	Napforhumanity.com as we thank some people who are helping this program.
	Alan Gildea in Bangor Down, UK, $111.11.
	Sean Connolly, or I should say Sir Sean Connolly of Naperville, Illinois, $111.00.
	This is for Adam's crazy birth year plus age scheme from the last show.
	Adam, do you want to reiterate that?
	Yes.
	This is how it works.
	1111 is a big number this year.
	We've got all kinds of 11111 dates.
	And also, if you take the last two digits of your birth year, so I was born in 1964, so you take 64, and you add that to the age you will be this year, and I will be 40...
	Wow.
	Am I already 46?
	Yeah.
	I'll be 47 this year.
	God.
	If that equals $111, then you need to donate.
	Now, you don't have to donate $111, but you could get on board our $11.11 a month program, which a lot of people are actually taking advantage of in this very special year.
	So if that applies to you, then good karma if you jump on board one of our $11.11 programs.
	Right.
	And he also says, go Packers.
	Well, he was doing okay until then.
	I hope they win too.
	So who's in the Super Bowl now?
	The Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay, very small little town Packers.
	And the Green Bay Packers are interesting because they're the only publicly traded NFL team.
	You can buy a couple of shares of their stock.
	Now, do either of those teams have that crazy quarterback you told me about?
	Roethlisberger.
	I don't know.
	I think I told you about him.
	He's a big 260-pound guy who runs real fast.
	Is he with the Green Bay Packers?
	Yeah, he's a monster.
	He's like a golem.
	Yeah, the Packers are going to win.
	No, I just got the message.
	Packers are going to win.
	They have to win because they're from a small town.
	It's Main Street.
	You have to show the little guy can win.
	And I got the real kicker on why they're going to win if we're going to go with that theory that these games are rigged.
	Of course it's rigged.
	What's the theory?
	Their colors are green.
	Yes, very good.
	So we have to have a green team win this year, so people just...
	Have you seen the NBC logo recently?
	What color is it?
	Yeah, green.
	It's green.
	Yeah, green.
	Good.
	Stephen Hahn, $100.
	He's from Groningen, Netherlands.
	Groningen.
	Gesundheit.
	First big donation.
	I've been listening to this stream all day, cleaning up the house after my ex-girlfriend finally moved out.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, no.
	Finally moved out.
	Finally.
	The bitch is gone.
	Not big on cash, ATM, as I got to bring up the pay for the house all by myself.
	I got to pay for the house all by myself now.
	Better times ahead.
	Give him some karma for that.
	Hell yeah, definitely.
	You've got karma.
	That's right.
	Well, when she finally leaves, then it's good for you right there.
	That's good karma right off the bat.
	Well...
	Grebulon, the name he goes by in Haim, Israel.
	Don't try to pronounce my name.
	Just call me Grebulon.
	In the morning from the Banana Republic of Gitmo Nation falafel, I want to call Douchebag on LSI's CEO, Abin, Tool Walker, and his henchman, Paul Bullinger.
	Oh.
	Douchebag!
	For shutting our branch down with no apparent reason.
	Let's only do...
	Okay.
	I'm not going to go into the douchebag etiquette.
	Seven years of really good work down the drain, but I got some money out of it, so here's part of it.
	At first, I wanted to send you some salamis, but then decided just to send cash.
	Thank you.
	And may I also thank Guy, another listener from Israel.
	See, I've got the pronunciation now.
	Israel.
	Guy was very nice to send us an emergency stash of OB. Still not available in Gimmo Nation, United States.
	Yeah, that was actually very nice of him.
	Anyway, he donated 9999, and he wants to do a call back to Adam's famous 9x4 call-out.
	Absolutely!
	Grebulon from Israel!
	Niner, Niner, Niner, Niner!
	Thank you so much.
	Aaron Heath, St.
	Agnes, South Australia.
	In the morning, John and Adam, I just moved from Australia to Glasgow.
	Oh, he's in Scotland now.
	And I have a job interview lined up for Saturday.
	The donation is good for karma and to de-douche myself as I've listened for over two years without donating.
	Sorry it took so long, but hey, I was a douche.
	I'm going to try and do a de-douche in karma at the same time.
	De-douche, de-douche, de-douche, de-douche.
	You've been deduced.
	You've got karma.
	That was pretty good.
	Yeah, I think that's a keeper.
	If I can remember how to do it.
	Our Vienna friend, Armin Breuer.
	Hi, John and Adam.
	Here's some cash to just stop Adam from saying hinterland.
	Hinterland!
	The words he's looking for is actually Heimatland.
	Heimatland.
	That doesn't sound as good.
	But that's not actually the one that the Nazis used either.
	That would be Vaterland.
	Yes, we know that.
	The father's land.
	The father's that.
	John, I'm concerned, my friend.
	No, what I have is this lingering cough.
	You have whooping cough, and I think you should get yourself...
	The whole family had whooping cough, and I still have it.
	I think you should get yourself vaccinated at Rite Aid.
	It's a little late.
	I need some of the karma to get out of a sticky social situation...
	Last time I requested karma, it kicked in within hours.
	Seriously.
	Okay, so here's hoping the bitch moves out of your house too, dude.
	No problem.
	What?
	You've got karma.
	Well, you know that's what the problem is.
	Oh, it must be.
	Yeah, a sticky social situation.
	Sticky social situation.
	Either that or...
	Say no more.
	Or he's got relatives that moved in with him.
	It could also be bad, yeah.
	Sticky.
	Steven Nelson, Denver, Colorado, Double Nickels on the Dime, enjoying the No Agenda stream, missing the Dvorak interlude, which comes and goes.
	Vision Entertainment.
	Excuse me, I think we really could do with a Dvorak interlude.
	You know, we have so many cool shows running now.
	Yeah, okay, I can do another.
	I got another one in the can.
	Okay, good.
	Marcus Couch, Aliso Viejo, California.
	Hey, is that Marcus?
	Our very own earthquake machine, Marcus?
	Yes.
	I don't know.
	He wants a karma request.
	I'm going to give him massive karma.
	Marcus, bend over.
	Here it comes.
	Woohoo!
	You've got karma.
	Okay, one more.
	Special karma for my friend Marcus.
	Zach, Sacramento, Sacto.
	I need karma.
	Sending this in is before I find out if I get a job.
	I send in a small donation before the interview as well.
	I'm putting a no agenda karma to the test.
	Okay, here we go.
	You've got karma.
	Did you miss Jacob?
	I think you skipped over Jacob.
	Oh, I did.
	Sorry, Jacob.
	Sorry, Jacob.
	Levant?
	Levant.
	You say Levent, I say Livent.
	He's in Great Neck, New York.
	Craig Jones in Danville, Pennsylvania, $50.
	Fernando Yanez.
	Yanez.
	Los Angeles.
	For a job interview this past Thursday, waiting on the word back from the company, I need some karma sent my way.
	Yeah, not a problem, man.
	We'll hand out to you.
	You've got karma.
	Karma's important, and crazy enough, it seems to work.
	Now we have a birthday shout-out from Moxie from Cary, North Carolina, for Nick the Rat.
	Yeah, I was going to do the birthday thing, but now you've blown it.
	Well, it says right here, I was just reading, Marco Brandao, in some place in Spain, Arara Carrara.
	It says United States.
	What is that?
	Well, I guess it's PayPal accounts from Spain.
	When you say my name, just use the short version, Marco Brandao.
	Yeah, that's what I said.
	Otherwise, the full version is quite long and unspeakable.
	So is the city.
	Yeah.
	Robin Durden, or Derden, Durden, I think it's Durden, not quite spelled like Tyler Durden, maybe a relation.
	Hoboken, New Jersey, $50, and that's our group.
	Hoboken.
	Hoboken, home of Frank Sinatra.
	Hoboken.
	One of the best.
	When you say my name, I'm sorry, what am I doing?
	Anyway, Hoboken is one of the great places to visit.
	All right, let me do this first.
	It's your birthday, birthday!
	On No Agenda!
	It's very nice of Moxie to donate some cash, because we don't need blankets, and do that for Nick the Rat, one of our artistes who often makes art for the No Agenda Show album art.
	Happy birthday.
	His birthday is celebrated on 2-2-2011.
	Happy birthday from your friends here at the No Agenda Show.
	It's your birthday!
	It's got a couple quick things that were just lingering.
	And before you say those things, I want to mention you can go to dvorak.org slash NA and channeldvorak.com slash NA to help us out for the next show or join the 274 Club.
	I'm just looking.
	Oh, we actually had all these.
	You know, I'm always like, I got some, there was a forgotten karma, I think.
	No.
	There was, right.
	There was somebody that's...
	I think Radu?
	There was somebody that sent us a thing.
	I sent a copy of it.
	Radu doted $50.50.
	So I'm broke.
	That's all I could afford.
	If you can...
	It's not for me.
	It's for everyone who can afford donating.
	So this was his missing text.
	Awesome show.
	I decided to give in and donate $50.50 because that's all I can afford.
	I'm broke.
	But if you can spill some karma over...
	You've got karma.
	It would be appreciated.
	It's not for me.
	It's for everyone who can't afford donating but are in need of your godly karma.
	Well, it's not mine.
	It's just it comes out of the little karma box.
	We have a button to the karma box.
	It may appear dilutive being spread out to so many unfaithful, but it's better than nothing.
	Best of luck with your show from Radu.
	And he wants to know if my middle name Clark is with just K or K-E. And that is...
	Well, that's a good question.
	Just a K. It is not with K-E. It would be British if it was K-E. Yes.
	So, oh, we've got some news from our friends.
	Are we going to do our birthday?
	Did you do the birthday?
	Jeez Louise.
	Do we have a night?
	No.
	We do?
	No.
	I don't think we...
	No.
	No night?
	No.
	I'm looking at the list.
	No.
	No, sir Stephen, we still have to wait for the 33rd donor of the correct amountage.
	Alright, okay.
	So, Whole Foods has jumped on board with a number of other so-called organic retailers.
	They've got Whole Foods Market, Organic Valley, and Stonyfield Farm.
	They're all kind of like products and retailers at the same time.
	And they've sent a note to their customers.
	Now, I'm a customer of the Whole Foods.
	You are?
	Yes, or as we say in Los Angeles, the Whole Paycheck.
	And, of course, in this email, and there's a link to it in the show notes, noagendershow.com, they proclaim their support for seed purity and organics.
	But basically, said to the USDA, U.S. Department of Agriculture, that they feel it's okay to approve the conditional deregulation of genetically engineered herbicide-resistant alfalfa, which we brought up on this show.
	Which, of course, makes you wonder what else is going on with the Whole Foods.
	It's a big scam.
	The big, big, big scam.
	They're all in bed with these guys.
	And that's it.
	I didn't have anything else.
	That was it?
	Yeah, well, that's enough.
	I got the email that they're saying, yeah, go ahead, we're on board with your genetically engineered alfalfa.
	Yeah, I don't like the idea of that.
	No, of course not.
	It's crazy.
	Let's do some magic numbers.
	33 arrested on illegal immigrant charges.
	I don't know.
	A quarterly cash dividend for Arthur J. Gallagher and Co.
	increased 33%.
	3% to 33 cents per share.
	That was just nice.
	What does Arthur J. Gallagher Co.
	do?
	Let's take a look.
	I want to point out this 33 thing that we've been doing while he looks this up, which is the...
	Insurance brokerage and risk management services.
	Okay, they've got something fishy.
	We had a number of listeners, right?
	That's bull crap.
	You can look up 16 and find the number all the time.
	And, of course, one of our listeners did actually some real research.
	He didn't do a complete scatter graph, but it turns out the 33 is a little more important than these other numbers that crop up.
	But the point is where they crop up.
	If you see 33 cropping up in areas like Haiti or some fishy area like Sudan or showing up here and there in world hot spots and the number shows up, we have decided it's probably code for somebody...
	Mission accomplished.
	Mission accomplished.
	Or here we are, or this, don't worry about this, or there's something.
	We don't know.
	We have no idea.
	All we know is this number crops up in peculiar places.
	Now, why it would crop up for this particular company, I immediately...
	Well, also, the 33 cents per share increase, the dividend.
	Yeah.
	It's like, hey, we did a good job on that deal.
	Here's your 33 cents per share.
	Or there's a deal coming up, or keep an eye on us, or whatever we do, you do it too.
	BP looks like the compensation they paid out, or they will pay out, of which they think there's probably 7,000 bogus claims.
	What number could that total, John?
	I don't know.
	33 million?
	3.3 billion.
	3.3 billion, okay.
	You know, that's got to be code.
	And then a lot of people send me this note about the Disney Club 33.
	Oh yeah, I've been to Club 33.
	What is that?
	If it's the place I'm thinking of, there's a private club in this...
	There's a private club in the Disneyland Park in Los Angeles.
	I can tell you how to get there if you're roaming around.
	If you're headed toward the haunted house, there's a little area.
	It's like a New Orleans, kind of a bogus New Orleans area.
	There's a little alley.
	You can go into it.
	There's a weird locked door with a light over it.
	I think it says 33 over the top.
	I'm not absolutely sure.
	Sometimes there's a guy standing out in front.
	And you can go in there.
	This is actually a little private restaurant.
	They have a lot of events there.
	Cool.
	So that's not evil is what you're saying?
	It's just cool?
	It might be, and most of the time.
	I mean, I've never been there where they've had an evil meeting.
	They're certainly propagating the meme, though, with, like, secret door and everything.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Maybe there's something going on.
	It's a magical number.
	It's a magical number.
	So I spoke with two people in New York this past week.
	And of course they've had really crazy weather.
	It's snowing.
	And now there's two people.
	One person who I know only by reputation.
	She's a consultant.
	She's worked for big media companies.
	And then another guy who I've known for 25 years, also a consultant who works for big media companies.
	And I speak to them independently of each other.
	And then both, you know, they say like, well, how's the weather out there in Los Angeles?
	Don't rub it in.
	I bet you're really enjoying the sunshine!
	And that's exactly how they sound, by the way.
	That's what New Yorkers sound like in general.
	And I say, yeah, you know, global warming is really benefiting us.
	How are you doing there?
	And both, without missing a beat.
	You know, I've got to tell you, anyone who now does not think That climate change is an issue is an idiot.
	It's so obvious.
	Look at what's happening here!
	I'm like, really?
	You're really gonna...
	Yes!
	Don't you understand that the Arctic ice is melting?
	And that's why it's so cold here!
	Ah, okay.
	It must be the basic milieu.
	But this is out of control.
	The door has opened!
	The door has opened!
	But they haven't even done the science on this, but they've propagated the meme ahead of the science.
	In fact, they're getting an expedition ready to go to the Arctic to find out what's happening with this ice.
	And, of course, it's more like ocean currents that are flowing differently.
	But this meme has already spun.
	Now, I couldn't get the clips because I watched the last half of the Bill Maher show on Friday.
	Oh, my God.
	This was unbelievable.
	It was the whole thing.
	And Rachel Maddow, she was like standing up is how angry she was.
	Because, you know, there was one guy on the panel, he was like, well, you know, this is kind of, like, weird, you know, that it was global warming first, and then it was climate change, and, you know, the science is always in.
	So he was kind of saying what we're saying, like, you know, well, the science isn't always in.
	And Bill Maher and Rachel Madden, they got so angry that you're an idiot, you're a denier, denialist.
	It just went over and over and over.
	And like, are we on the losing end of this thing, John?
	I mean, is it just over?
	I mean, now that everyone's witnessing this, I wish that these stupid Republicans, which we're not, by the way, we're just plain old denounceable denialists, I wish these stupid Republicans would understand the difference between climate and weather!
	They brought that one back into the game.
	So here's an answer for you.
	If you were so great at predicting climate, which, by the way, is a, what are they, conservatively, a hundred billion dollar business, John?
	Conservatively?
	Yeah, it's a scam.
	Multi-hundred billion dollar business.
	Don't you think that if you could predict the weather for, like, tomorrow, that you would be the richest man on the planet?
	Don't you think you would be the richest man on the planet if you could predict the weather for tomorrow?
	Or next week?
	Or next week?
	I'm not talking about 2035.
	Well, they did develop a computer program that could predict the weather accurately for the next day, but it takes 48 hours to run the program.
	Right.
	Exactly.
	But this is my point to people who call me a denialist.
	It's like, well, if your science is so great, why not just tell me what the weather's going to be tomorrow?
	Don't tell me that it's going to warm up and then it's not.
	If you know so well what happened 100,000 years ago and what will happen 50 years from now, would you please tell me what the weather's going to be like tomorrow?
	If you can do that, and you're right, I'm with your science.
	I'm on board.
	Well, there's an argument against that, too.
	I don't have it at the tip of my tongue, but I've heard it before.
	I prefer the argument, which is, I think, a little more appropriate, is that if you're so serious about this, and you think that CO2 is this problem, to the extreme that you say it is, why are you doing cap and trade?
	Why don't you just cap?
	Why don't you just shut your trap?
	So there's no...
	I want to just take a nap.
	That's what I'm...
	That's going to be one of my...
	Well, by the way, we should probably be on board because if we have this nap for humanity scam going...
	We got to shut up and be on board.
	From now on, it's like, you know what?
	We're helping.
	We might get some huge funding from someone.
	Our Map for Humanity program, we are way on board with that.
	So I completely agree.
	I'm sorry you got into these debates with these people.
	I just throw the cap thing out because it shuts them up.
	That's such a hotbed.
	I like it.
	I think it's better to, you know, I'm just going to shut up now.
	It's like, you know, you're right.
	And that's why we started NAP. That's actually what most people who actually, you know, I mean, I've said this story before, but there's a lot of people that are in the business of climate, and they just don't want to argue it because they say, you know, it's not really about science, it's politics.
	You have the Rachel Maddow, the great science genius that she is, and Bill Maher, a stand-up comic, defending the science.
	I mean, give me a break.
	I mean, how come Dyson, the great physicist, he thinks is bogus?
	You mean the vacuum cleaner guy?
	No, not that one.
	He, to me, is a hero.
	I love his Dyson ball.
	You have one?
	No, no, I can't afford it.
	You're not much of a fan.
	I'm a fan because have you used his hand blow dryer at the airport?
	Have you seen the Dyson hand blow dryer?
	Yeah, I've seen him.
	I don't like drying my hands at the airport.
	I want a towel.
	I want a paper towel.
	I don't want to be blowing hot air on my hand.
	That's the opening clip.
	I want a paper towel.
	John, it's awesome.
	You stick your hands in for like two seconds and it's done.
	The Dyson thing is great.
	I think it's awesome.
	Paper towel.
	And the other thing about, you know, a lot of bathrooms, of course, I don't want to get into this in too much detail, but a lot of people don't like grabbing the bathroom door handle.
	Oh, no, I never do.
	That's why I want the paper towel.
	Well, that's why you want the paper towel.
	You take the paper towel and you grab the bathroom door handle.
	That's why there's always a wastebasket right by the door.
	And then you grab the door, you open it up, and you throw the paper towel.
	This is for hand sanitization, of course.
	Let me ask you a question.
	When there's no paper towel, when it is a Dyson blower or other blower, how do you open the door?
	Well, generally speaking, the only time I find a Dyson blower is in the airport where there's no door.
	Just walk in and walk out.
	But...
	How would I do it if I was concerned?
	I'd sometimes just grab the handle.
	I don't care.
	I'm not worried about it.
	But if I was fearful because of the nature of the bathroom, I would probably use my pinky finger of my left hand to open the door.
	That's exactly what I'd do.
	That's the one that will at least come in contact with anything else.
	It will not get contaminated.
	I shall use the pinky of my left hand.
	That's so funny.
	I bet you there's a whole bunch of guys who are going like, oh yeah.
	Yeah, I do that too.
	I thought I was the only one who did that.
	No.
	No, you're just like us, boy.
	You're just like us.
	It's a logical thing to do.
	So you have time for some real news before we move on?
	Yeah, we've got tons of time for that.
	We love it.
	And now, back to real news.
	I've been waiting for this clip all day.
	Well, first, let's get through the real, the basic.
	Let's take the big chunks out of the way by playing the extra, extra promo.
	Yeah, we've got to understand what's happened.
	Here we go, everybody.
	Ambulance to the ER. Extra, extra, extra.
	Charlie's first words, I'm not dying.
	Shane tells our source inside his hospital room exactly why he called 911.
	The latest on his health crisis after a wild all-night party.
	John Travolta, the new godfather.
	New video from his dinner with John Gotti Jr.
	Travolta set to play the Teflon Don.
	James Franco as his son.
	President Obama trapped in the snow.
	Katie Couric pushing a Maserati in Central Park.
	The East Coast buried in a blizzard.
	There were these beautiful snow sculptures out there, and it was the audience.
	This weather did not stop Wendy Williams.
	Julia's gotcha surprise for Ellen.
	What Julia confessed about the real Beverly Hills housewives.
	Plus, Kelsey Grammer's new divorce tell-off.
	Will he give in to Camille's new $10 million demand?
	Plus, American Idol turns into American cry-off.
	What do you think about all the tears this season?
	Extra!
	Woohoo!
	Woohoo!
	I'm up to date.
	That's great.
	Now you're all caught up.
	And this time you actually knew who half of these people were.
	Well, it's interesting because I have identified two mob-related stories which fall under the heading of Another Tale of the Hollywood Whackers.
	So Travolta's going to play John Gotti.
	And James Caan, I think he posted bail for one of those New York mobsters.
	For Andrew Russo.
	One of those guys that was picked up.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	He says, I've known Andrew since 1972's.
	When I played in The Godfather, I knowed him.
	Con, of course, played in The Godfather.
	And so he tried to post bail.
	You don't think there's a connection between the mob and Hollywood, do you?
	Well, it's sure looking that way.
	But at least they've got some projects coming up.
	That's good.
	It's always important.
	And, of course, the news.
	This is overshadowing everything.
	Revolution Shmevolution.
	Charlie Sheen is in rehab, dude.
	Who cares about anything else?
	Yeah, it's pretty weird.
	The best is people are going, I knew it.
	I told you so.
	I told you that Sheen was up to no good.
	So the thing, the Showbiz Tonight show on HLN, which is actually a branch of CNN, they had, I swear to God, they dedicated 50 minutes to this phony baloney creation they did, this Gaga versus Bieber.
	Play this clip.
	The big question of supremacy still remains in the battle of Gaga vs.
	Bieber, and that brings us to our showbiz flashpoint, Gaga vs.
	Bieber, who's the bigger star?
	The battle of the megastars begin now, and the first battleground today, of course, has to be Facebook.
	They were both very involved with this.
	Bieber won the honor of being the most mentioned name on Facebook.
	But Gaga has more Facebook fans than any living person.
	So, Rachel, off to you first.
	Do you think, in this instance, who can claim the Facebook frontier?
	Is it Gaga?
	Is it Bieber?
	I'm crying.
	It ends right there.
	Is it Gaga?
	Is it Bieber?
	I've been wondering that myself.
	Is it Gaga or is it Bieber?
	I mean, yes.
	That's the only answer.
	Yes is the answer.
	I could have gone on and on with more clips about this, but I think you get the point.
	It's ridiculous.
	And this is why, even though we are the country that invented Facebook, the country that invented Twitter...
	This is why we will not go to the streets.
	We will not take to the streets and call for the heads of our government.
	Call for them to leave.
	Have signs that say, game over.
	Get out.
	We're not going back to work.
	We're standing here.
	We're going to bring down Wall Street.
	We're not going to take it anymore.
	The reason why is because we're too befuddled over the question, Gaga or Bieber?
	That's what's wrong with this country.
	Do you think it's fixable?
	No, I don't think it's fixable.
	I hope it's not fixable.
	We'll be out of a show.
	No, I'd gladly give up the show if it was fixed.
	Isn't that amazing?
	It's getting worse.
	The likelihood of it getting fixed is zero.
	I mean, this is worsening.
	I mean, the fact that Piers Morgan would bring the Kardashians on and now we judge his show overall by how well they didn't do.
	I mean, we ourselves are part of the problem.
	I mean, because we did that.
	I mean, you did it.
	I did it.
	And I paid attention to that, too.
	I looked at the numbers.
	And the fact of the matter is, this guy shouldn't be on the air.
	The Kardashians shouldn't be on the air.
	Why is them together?
	Why are we making any sort of judgment based on the results of the two of them colliding?
	I mean, the whole thing is ridiculous.
	Yeah.
	Sorry about that.
	I jumped the gun.
	They've got something cool going on.
	If I can go around Gitmo Nation, then...
	Do you have anything specific you need to bring up?
	No, I'm good.
	I'm good to go.
	I'm ready to stop the show.
	We're not done with the show yet.
	I've got a couple of loose pieces that we need to pull together.
	Gitmo Nation East Manchester Airport have a new take on Securite.
	They've got 2D, well they say the report says holograms, but it's really like a cardboard cutout of a security officer.
	And then they project a face onto it and they actually have some video.
	You don't get the full effect without seeing the video, but here is the security officer on a cardboard cutout, supposed to look like a hologram at Manchester Airport.
	Welcome to Manchester Airport.
	You are now approaching the security area.
	If you are carrying any liquids, creams, gels or paste, please see my colleague in the preparation area.
	You've got to see this, John.
	It's amazing.
	So the person in America normally just screams at you to put your stuff in the bin?
	Now they've got, at Manchester Airport...
	A robot.
	Yeah.
	Well, like a cardboard cutout robot, though.
	Yeah, this is like, if you've been to the Haunted House ride, which I mentioned earlier, in Disneyland, they have these heads, these headstones in a graveyard that you go by in the ride, and they project faces onto them, and it looks like they're talking and singing, and it actually looks pretty interesting.
	I mean, it looks like...
	Yeah, it's great.
	Yeah.
	That's what this is.
	It's just basically a Disney gimmick.
	It's a Disney gimmick.
	Gitmo Nation, Osmond Brothers, better known as Utah.
	They're the first ones.
	We've had the drone in Florida, which of course pales in comparison by something much smarter and much cheaper they're doing in Utah.
	And they're questioning, of course, if this is good for these citizens.
	I think it's great.
	Well, Ogden will soon have a new crime-fighting tool.
	A tool, John.
	A tool.
	When it's a tool.
	A blimp.
	A blimp.
	The city works with Weber State University to develop unmanned aerial surveillance.
	Fox 13's Eric Yvonne is live with why a dirigible was the top choice.
	Hey, Eric.
	A dirigible?
	Isn't it dirigible?
	I think you can say dirigible.
	Okay, well...
	But you're telling me they have a small remote control blunt like the ones you can buy at the toy store?
	It's not small.
	It's not small.
	They got pictures of it.
	They got the dimensions here.
	But first, the stupid reporter who's standing on the street for no apparent reason has to say, thank you for saying dirigible because I couldn't say that.
	Hey Max, nice job saying that.
	That's why I didn't want to say it.
	See?
	That's why I didn't want to say it.
	And by the way...
	I'm too stupid.
	But basically the mayor of Ogden is saying that a blimp is cheaper than a small helicopter or a fixed wing airplane.
	They say that this blimp can also hover in one place, say, for example, over a parking lot where there may have been a rash of break-ins, and they might need some of that surveillance.
	The blimp that Weber State designed in Ogden was on its police force doesn't look like the typical fat blimp.
	It's shaped like a cigar.
	It's 52 feet long and 4 feet wide.
	Yeah, it's a real thing, 52 feet by 4 feet, so it's not really wide, but listen to what this thing's got.
	Cameras are mounted on it and give a really clear view of what's happening on the ground.
	Weber State's Center of Aeronautical Innovation has been testing their creation and says it's perfect for police work.
	The blimp can hover in place, can pivot, or it can pursue.
	Its top speed is 40 miles per hour.
	It becomes a deterrent when people know that there's something watching you and following you.
	Hey!
	It becomes a deterrent.
	Yeah, just so you know, when you know someone's watching you, then you don't commit crime.
	This is disgusting.
	Now listen, listen to him, listen to him.
	And there's good data behind that.
	I've got to play that again.
	You stepped on it.
	Listen to this.
	When you know that there's something watching you and following you, people behave differently, and there's good data behind that to show that people don't commit crimes when they know they're being watched.
	There you go.
	That's the entire system.
	Really?
	Well, how does that explain what just happened in Oakland last week, which is that the camera crew from KGO went into East Oakland to do an interview, and two guys came up and mugged them and stole the camera...
	And knocked the reporter to the ground.
	This is about as being watched as you can be.
	And ran off at the camera.
	And then the follow-up story was the reporter or the station, KGO. They said, well, the camera's going to be very difficult to sell or use because it's very specialized.
	I'm thinking, what?
	They sell it to me.
	Yeah, really.
	I'll take it for $20 so you can buy some crack.
	This is a broadcast quality camera.
	Half the people in San Francisco know how to use one.
	Yeah, it rocks.
	How do you think we get our cameras?
	Geez.
	Haiku Herman in Gitmo Nation, United States of Europe.
	Wait a minute, hold on a second about the blimp.
	I'm done with that.
	I'm beyond it.
	Well, I just got to say one thing.
	Do they not know that there's, especially in places like Utah, that there are people with high-powered rifles and scopes?
	This was my thought.
	I'm like, if that thing's floating by my place, I'm like taking it out.
	You go behind a window in a dark room, and you open the window.
	They can't see.
	I don't care how good the blimp's camera is.
	And you take the blimp out.
	There's no way that they can track where the bullet, because the bullet's just going to go right through the blimp, right?
	Not often God knows where it's going to end up.
	It has little propellers on the back and on the side.
	Yeah, I'm looking at a picture of it now.
	I think the cool thing would be to take the propeller out.
	Well, actually, I think hitting the main body of it so it would deflate and then fall to the earth and then be scrounged by the public.
	I think if you're a man, if you're a real man, you try to shoot it with a flaming arrow.
	It never says in the article how high it goes.
	I don't know.
	A flaming arrow.
	I think that would be cool.
	Flame an arrow right through that thing.
	Light that bitch on fire.
	I'm all for that.
	Alright, so the number one book of poetry in all of Gitmo Nation United States of Europe was, of course, the bundle of haikus by the President of the United States of Europe.
	What?
	Haiku Herman, yes.
	What?
	It was a bestseller?
	It was a bestseller.
	No.
	Yeah!
	Pretty cool, huh?
	It's impossible.
	No, it's...
	Have you read it?
	It's amazingly good.
	It's deep.
	Oh, bullcrap.
	It's so deep.
	So Haiku Herman was questioned by a number of school children, and he got very annoyed at this little Asian girl who asked him a question about Nigel Farage.
	She's reading from a piece of paper, so it's funny.
	Someone sent their kid to school like, hey, tell me some no agenda listener.
	Like, hey, you're going to talk to the President of the United States of Europe today?
	Ask him this, alright?
	Don't tell him your daddy said so.
	And throw it in the morning in there while you're at it.
	Could you agree with Nigel Farage?
	She says Nigel.
	Nigel.
	She means Nigel.
	Nigel Farage.
	That we have lack of democracy in European Union.
	That we have lack of democracy in European Union.
	You know this is a no agenda listener, except they didn't throw a code in there.
	They didn't throw it like in the morning or something.
	But it's a good one.
	I love that someone made their kid do this.
	And here's his answer.
	For example, none of us voted for you.
	Oh yeah, none of us voted for you.
	In any elections.
	The European Union is a real democracy.
	And on top of this, we have a European Parliament directly elected by the 500 million citizens or those who can vote.
	And for instance, the President of the European Commission has to get the approval of the European Parliament.
	So it is more than an exaggeration.
	It is almost a lie to say that we have a lack of democracy.
	Shut up, you stupid child slave!
	What an answer, huh?
	I mean, this is how he answers a seven-year-old's question.
	He's a dick.
	He's a total dick.
	Yeah, yeah, he is a dick.
	It is a lie!
	It is a lie, I tell you!
	Do not question me, the president of the Vaterland!
	It's unbelievable.
	It's a lie!
	It's a lie I tell you!
	Did you understand the answer?
	I denounce you!
	You six-year-old!
	Shut up, you six-year-old!
	What is your father's name?
	He's a six-year-old!
	I denounce you and your family!
	It's unbelievable.
	It's a six-year-old.
	Of course, you know, she got set up.
	But for the way he's answering that, like, no!
	Is it not true?
	Those of you who could vote!
	That's exactly what she's saying.
	Hey, we didn't vote for you, dude.
	How'd you get here?
	It's a lie!
	It's just crazy.
	Crazy, crazy, crazy.
	If you want a drink in Gitmo Nation Down Under, it looks like you're going to have to hand out your fingerprints before entering the bar, which is giving me second thoughts about moving there.
	Thousands of clubbers and pub patrons being forced to submit fingerprint and photographic scans to enter popular venues by handing over their biometric data.
	And this is the New South Wales premises using the systems include the Australian Brewery, Lone Pine Tavern, Friction Nightclub.
	Oh, damn.
	What is the point of this?
	To get your biometric data, slave.
	But what difference does it make?
	To cross-reference the database if you're old enough to drink.
	That's what this is for.
	There's a lot of drink stuff going on.
	You know, Ray LaHood...
	Well, we've talked about this before.
	It's neoprohibitionism.
	We talk about it all the time on this show.
	It's been sneaking in.
	It's not like a major story, but it's one of those...
	This, I think, is more insidious than stuff like what's happening in Egypt.
	I think this is like just creeping along and, you know, under the radar, under the radar.
	Pretty soon, you're going to go to this liquor store and find it boarded up.
	Well, I did find a kind of a disturbing connection which popped up because Ray LaHood, our transportation secretary, showed up at a company that makes the following.
	Oops.
	The simple touch of a button could save hundreds of lives.
	This is one of two systems being developed to measure a driver's blood alcohol content.
	Current technology requires a tube to breathe into.
	It requires what's called a deep breath.
	With this new technology, you're either touching something or you're breathing normally inside the vehicle, so it's very, very passive.
	Researchers say both methods eliminate the need for drivers to take any extra steps, and they're getting the thumbs up from Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood.
	In 2009, as we said, 11,000 people were killed as a result of drunk driving, and that's 11,000 too many.
	Laura Dean Mooney, the president of Mothers Against Drunk Driving, was also on hand.
	So we've got Ray LaHood and the president of Mothers Against Drunk Driving, one of the worst charities in the world, who spend 80% of what they bring in on themselves, on their own salaries, and the money they take is from court-ordered classes that they hand, that they give.
	Well known.
	Well known that this is a horrible organization.
	Where were they?
	This company that's making this sensor that you put your finger on and your car won't start unless you have less than the appropriate alcohol blood content level.
	This company is called Quinetic.
	Are they publicly traded?
	Oh yeah.
	Q-I-N-E-T-I-Q. Quinetic.
	Q-I-N-E-T-I-Q. It's like a palindrome almost.
	Q-I-N-E-T-I-Q. This is Q-I-N-E-T-I-Q. It's quinnetic-na.com because it's North America.
	This is the largest defense contractor in the world.
	I've never heard of them.
	No, I know.
	It stems from, if you look at Quinetic Global, it was actually a portion of the United Kingdom Defense Evaluation and Research Agency, which was privatized in 2001.
	This company is enormous.
	It's huge.
	These guys make unmanned vehicles, they make drones, they've got tons and tons of contracts, and now all of a sudden they've got Ray LaHood showing up for some dorky little monitor if you're drunk or not, if you can drive.
	Big scam.
	Big red flag on this.
	These guys, the contracts.
	They've got contracts with everybody.
	Applications.
	First responder police, homeland security, ground forces, intelligence and communications, medical and dental, military, aviation, ordinance disposal and detection, special forces, supply, transport, logistics, surface and underwater warfare.
	That's what these guys do?
	And now all of a sudden Ray LaHood shows up to look at some stupid scanner?
	Please.
	Frightening.
	This is interesting.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's a frightening...
	Something very frightening going on with this.
	And, of course, if you look at their news and events, not a blip about this Ray LaHood thing.
	Yeah, I'm looking at their website.
	Oh, actually, I'm sorry.
	No, they just updated it.
	So, that's January 28th.
	U.S. Transportation Secretary LaHood views demonstration of new in-vehicle technology targeted towards habitual drunk drivers, which means you get caught drunk once.
	This is in every single car.
	And right underneath that, Quinetic's gunfire detection system is U.S. military's solution of choice.
	What else are these guys going to put in the car?
	This is very, very weird.
	Why these guys are making this all of a sudden.
	Netic is a British global defense technology company formed from the greater part of the former UK government agency Defense Evaluation and Research Agency, DERA. That's what I just said.
	When it was split up in 2000.
	I'm just reading from the witchy thing.
	Major sites are in Farnborough, Hampshire, and Malvern, Worcestershire.
	Worcestershire.
	It's like ARPAnet.
	Yeah, it's a little bigger than that, dude.
	ARPA. Well, yeah, now it is.
	But that's the research.
	Social Intelligence Agency, George Tenet, served as an independent non-executive director.
	Yeah, it's a bunch of good guys.
	Listen to Monday Stock Exchange, blah, blah, blah.
	All right.
	So, while you're doing that, let's...
	Ah, screw it.
	I'm not even going to do that.
	I don't even feel like it anymore.
	It's interesting.
	There's something weird going on there.
	We've got to keep our eye on it.
	Yeah.
	Because it makes no sense that this company is just doing a little alcohol detector.
	Yeah, no, it makes no sense at all.
	Those guys...
	Small potatoes, we use that term.
	Yeah.
	So I think they're probably putting more in the cars.
	I think we're going to see it installed.
	Maybe they're getting some big GM deal or something, where every single car will have...
	That's probably it.
	So why is LaHood there?
	I mean, to see this little thing, and we know that Mothers Against Drunk Driving are a bunch of scammers...
	So, I think that there's a big deal.
	GM is going to put these things in every single GM car.
	It won't start unless you're not drunk.
	How do you take that one?
	You know, you could sell that.
	I think it's totally doable.
	It's in the public interest.
	And General Motors is still, I think, basically got the government geeks in there.
	Let's go to Gitmo Nation East briefly, where we have the new program, Everything Everywhere, proximity payments coming to Gitmo Nation East in the summer.
	They're trying to get rid of, I guess, credit cards now.
	It's all going to be in your iPhone.
	What's that new technology?
	Yeah, I wrote about this is a bad idea.
	NFC, Near Field Communication or something like that.
	Isn't that what it's called?
	I know the iPhone has it.
	I think the Nokia phones or Nokia phones have it.
	And what did you write about it?
	What was your take on this?
	Well, I have always believed that the phone companies in particular are trying to horn in on the banks or at least do business with the banks or the credit card companies because they have the argument that they have real leverage when it comes to collecting money.
	Right, right.
	And I've said this before.
	I agree.
	They do.
	Because they can cut off your phone and internet and you'd be screwed.
	So in other words, if you were scammed, which has happened before with phone companies, and I've mentioned this before, like for example during the era of the modems when the people would be accidentally calling Romania at $100 a minute to see...
	And they get these bills for $30,000.
	The phone companies say, hey, too bad.
	Pay.
	Screw you.
	They're all part of it.
	It's a criminal organization, essentially.
	And the phone companies are corrupt and rotten.
	And to allow this to happen for convenience, because it's so inconvenient to pull out a 20, so it's for the convenience of it all, you're going to be screwed by the phone companies.
	I mean, you're just asking for trouble.
	If anybody just goes along with this, I would refuse to implement that.
	I'm still waiting for the revolt, by the way, against Vodafone.
	Vodafone is the company that turned off the internet, essentially.
	Oh, I saw their statement.
	Oh, they have a statement about it?
	What did they say?
	Well, you know, it turns out we did it because the government requested it and there's nothing we could do when the government requests something, so we did it.
	And if we had done it any other way, then it would have been harder to get the service turned back on, so it was actually a favor.
	We did everyone a favor.
	We did everyone a favor.
	These guys are bastards.
	Isn't it like the biggest, aren't they like the Verizon of the world?
	Vodafone is huge, right?
	Well, Verizon is huge.
	Vodafone.
	Vodafone is really, really big.
	They're big.
	If you really want to do something, then quit your service and go with some other provider.
	Quit Vodafone.
	No one's going to do that, by the way.
	No, they're not going to do anything.
	Nobody's going to do crap.
	In fact, the joke of this whole thing is that these revolts are so internet-centric that if there was no internet, you'd get the feeling these people would just be living in a mud hut, bitching to each other.
	I mean, I don't know.
	Speaking of mud, my favorite, my pet peeve, I was watching another documentary.
	I have a link to it, of course, in the show notes.
	You know what?
	The kids in Haiti are literally eating dirt cookies.
	No, that sounds like a bogus story.
	No, it's not a bogus story.
	I just forgot the French name for it.
	So what they do is they take dirt, they mix it with water, salt, and a little bit of flour, and they make these clay cookies out of it, and that's what they're eating because at least they fill their tummies up.
	That's what the kids are eating.
	They show the women making it in this documentary.
	It's disgusting.
	They're literally eating dirt.
	What is Clinton eating?
	What?
	Lobster!
	No, no, he's gone vegan.
	Oh, that's right.
	I'm sorry.
	Well, he's not eating dirt.
	Of course, Hillary Clinton visiting, dropping by for a little check on the beachfront property.
	Because, of course, they're going to release the election results.
	Now you watch.
	There's going to be a runoff.
	So it's too close to call.
	I can just tell you what's going to happen.
	Too close to call.
	So now we're going to have a runoff between...
	Who is it?
	I guess that Jude Celestine guy, they don't want him to run.
	I guess that's why Hillary is there.
	But you have this former first lady, Merlanda Manigat.
	And she apparently will be in a runoff.
	And this is not going to happen until March, of course.
	I mean, why hurry along?
	Against the sweet Mickey Martelli.
	Huh.
	It's not like we predicted that.
	Like we had to have some stupid...
	That guy has a good chance of winning.
	It'll be interesting to see how they play this one.
	I think Sweet Mickey Martelli comes in.
	He's being touted as the guy who has the ear of the people.
	They need a shill.
	They brought in Baby Doc.
	I love all these names, by the way.
	They brought in Baby Doc to distract the attention.
	Hillary Clinton lands today.
	And she'll be there keeping an eye on things.
	Making sure no one...
	Hey!
	Hey!
	That's my beach!
	Stupid kids, get off my beach!
	Did you see that fall she made?
	No, I missed the fall.
	She fell down?
	In her plane?
	You didn't see that?
	No.
	That was hilarious.
	I think she was actually leaving Egypt.
	That's interesting you say that.
	Hold on a second.
	Let me look for that story.
	Yeah, she tripped.
	It was legendary footage.
	She hurt herself, too.
	The great thing about the Internet is I can type in Hillary Falls video.
	Here's Hillary Clinton taking a tumble January 12th.
	You'll love it.
	You'll love it.
	I guarantee it.
	You're going to love it.
	It's from CBS. There she is.
	So she...
	You see it?
	She's walking into the...
	Oh, I did see this.
	I saw this already.
	I didn't think it was that spectacular.
	Where is that?
	But where is that?
	Where did she fall?
	She can barely get up.
	That's the weird thing.
	But it was the Middle East, right?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, check it.
	Well, you're looking at the video.
	Yemen.
	Yemen.
	I think she was in Yemen.
	She was departing Yemen.
	That's right.
	Wait a minute.
	Hold on a second.
	Let me read this from...
	Yeah.
	She was there to set up the revolution.
	Hillary Clinton pulled President Ford Tuesday, and we're trying to associate here with her presidency.
	Although Ford fell down, he face-planted coming down.
	Yeah, he actually really did it well.
	She fell going up.
	How do you fall up the stairs?
	The Secretary of State, listen to this, the Secretary of State was waving gracefully to fans.
	Fans?
	He's got fans in Yemen?
	Yeah, it's Al-Qaeda on the Arabian Peninsula.
	Hey, Hillary!
	Hello, Hillary!
	We see you soon, Hillary!
	Love you!
	We're your biggest fan!
	And then she fell.
	Why was she in Yemen?
	I'm telling you, she's getting it all set up.
	She was meeting with Yemeni President Al-Abdullah Saleh.
	We don't know why.
	Who cares?
	She got a cool-ass jet, though, doesn't she?
	Damn.
	Damn.
	Yeah, it's a big...
	Was she flying around in Air Force One?
	No, not Air Force One.
	You know what?
	It wouldn't surprise me if it wasn't as big as, like, I need to have a plane as big as his.
	Anyway, the fall is not that spectacular.
	On this site, they actually have a picture of the Ford face plant fall, which is more spectacular.
	Anyway, I always feel bad when people fall because it dehumanizes at the same time when it's a leader.
	It's kind of like, oh, she's not all that special now.
	Well, that's like the classic one that came out, I think it was last year, with Fidel Castro.
	Doing a faceplant coming out of some building and he literally falls head first in front of his limo.
	That was pretty spectacular.
	What's not quite as funny is that Jackie Smith, former Home Secretary of the Gitmo Nation East States, she got in trouble because she had declared payments to watching two porn movies on pay-per-view on her expense form.
	Or actually her husband.
	Watching, what, eight minutes each?
	Yeah, exactly.
	She is now making a documentary for the BBC about porn.
	Yeah, I heard this.
	That way she can write it off.
	No, well, she's no longer in the government.
	Well, she can write off her taxes.
	And the Berlusconi thing, we don't get any good Italian news.
	I don't know why that is.
	We have no Italian listeners.
	I don't remember.
	I don't know one listener.
	Yes, we do.
	Yeah, Franco.
	Oh, Franco.
	Okay, we got one.
	Yeah, we got one.
	We got one Italian listener, two guys in France.
	It's ridiculous.
	Well, my sister listens in Italy, too.
	Yeah, but I wouldn't call her Italian.
	She's an expat.
	Hello, she's a donor, not a boner.
	That's a good thing.
	They got kids coming out of these women, just one after another.
	Yeah, he paid me for sex.
	One after another.
	Yeah, I was 17.
	Yeah, he paid me for sex when I was 17.
	It's unbelievable, this guy.
	Wait a minute.
	I think the age of consent is like 14 or something in Italy.
	Why are we making a big fuss based on our standards?
	I don't think so.
	No, it's a fuss there.
	I disagree.
	I think 17 is a scandal.
	Hold on a second.
	The internet's worked better.
	Legal age of consent.
	Let's see.
	Get motivation spaghetti.
	Italy.
	14.
	Really?
	The age of consent in Italy is 14.
	In Iceland, it's 14.
	In Hungary, it's 14.
	I think Spain is even more interesting.
	Where's Spain?
	No, no.
	You know, at the Vatican City, I think it's 11.
	13 in Spain.
	Vatican City, I think, is 11.
	Isn't it?
	Yeah.
	And all you need is, um, and you're good to go in Vatican City.
	Alright, I think we've overplayed.
	So what's the big deal?
	No, you're right.
	You're right.
	There's no big deal.
	Whatever.
	It's fine.
	It's legal.
	It's all good.
	I'm happy for him.
	Way to go.
	I'm asking the question, why are they making a big stink?
	Who's making the stink?
	It's American media, them?
	I guess not.
	I thought the Italians were rioting when he didn't get kicked out.
	I guess I'm wrong.
	I guess that's why they don't...
	I guess everyone in Italy is happy and I should move there because no one ever seems to complain.
	The system works.
	It's corrupt.
	I'm telling you, they might be complaining, but they're not complaining about him having sex with a 17-year-old.
	They're not complaining about anything.
	They don't listen to the show.
	They don't complain.
	Why do we even talk about them?
	They're banned from the show.
	The entire country is no longer...
	Willow, is she banned too?
	She's banned.
	No, Willow's not banned from the show, but Italy is banned from the show.
	We've got no listeners.
	No one cares.
	They're all happy.
	You know why?
	It's good weather.
	Everyone looks cool.
	And they've got great food.
	They're like, hey, whatever.
	Right?
	That's what I say.
	Okay.
	Well, there you go.
	Well, remember to go to napforhumanity.com as we are starting up our new mission to create carbon credits to save the world.
	And we'll be here on Thursday once again with another episode of No Agenda.
	Here from Gitmo Nation West, my name is Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, I want to remind people to go to dvorak.org slash NA and channeldvorak.com slash NA to help us out for the upcoming show on Thursday.
	And also go to the Nap for Humanity site while you're at it.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.

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