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Dec. 26, 2010 - No Agenda

02:04:56

264: Chatter on the Interwebs

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Time	Text
	You look at his agenda and it would say, like, buy Porsche today.
	Adam Couric, John C. Dvorak.
	It is Sunday, December 26, 2010.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination, episode 264.
	This is no agenda.
	Living up to the true meaning of see something, say something, here at the Hilltop Watchtower, Crackpot Command Center, and Gitmo Nation West.
	In the People's Republic of Southern California in the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
	Is it Sunday already?
	I'm not sure, but I'm in northern Silicon Valley.
	I'm John C. Devorak.
	It's Craig Vaughn and Buzzkill in the morning.
	Hey!
	Good morning to you, John.
	Good morning to you, and good morning to all the ships at sea and feet on the ground.
	It's boots on the ground.
	If you're going to try and usurp me again, it's ships at sea, boots on the ground, wings in the skies, hams on the air.
	We have never done the wings in the sky, hams on the air.
	No, we did that last week.
	And to all human resources in the chat room at noadintachat.net where everyone is charged up on the second day of Christmas and they're exactly the way their government loves them.
	Filled with electricity and energy, ready to be sapped by the new world order.
	Jeez.
	It's just a happy little ditty I'm thinking of here.
	Yeah, work on something else.
	I'm going to depress the listeners.
	What is this?
	These guys are crazy.
	I've got to tell you, so we had a great Christmas yesterday.
	Merry Christmas to you, John, by the way.
	Merry Christmas to you and to all the ships at sea and the boots on the ground.
	But we watched, as one does, you watch some Christmas movies and Scrooged was on with Bill Murray, which I think is one of my favorite Christmas movies.
	I love that film, yes.
	From 1988.
	And if you haven't seen it, I encourage you to at least watch the beginning because I noticed something very funny.
	And again, this is 1988.
	Bill Murray is the president.
	He's a top executive of a television network, the IBC television network.
	And he's a total dick.
	He's the most horrible...
	I mean, he's very true to form a television executive, actually.
	And it starts off where they're doing this big live extravaganza on Christmas Eve, which is the Christmas carol, the Charles Dickens story.
	And so they're in the executive suite, and they're looking at the promo for this extravaganza.
	And so they've got a nice little promo, and it looks kind of good, and apparently the promo is performing quite well.
	But then Bill Murray, as the president of this network, freaks out and says, you need to scare people that if they miss watching this show, their lives will be over.
	And then he rolls out a promo, and it's the funniest thing.
	I mean, it could have been any promo for anything.
	Cable news network today, and of course in 1988 it was outrageous that the promo literally, you know, you see an airplane taking off and the voiceover says, this special is so terrifying.
	And you see the airplane explode in midair and the voiceover literally says, terrorism.
	And then it's like, you know, drugs and you see the needle going in the arm.
	It's exactly like what CNN, Fox, and MSNBC are today.
	Only in 88 that was seen as an outrageous, crazy thing.
	It could never happen.
	That's crazy, Tom.
	That's crazy.
	That's just fiction.
	It's just a movie.
	And now we're living it.
	Just, wow.
	Well, you know, it gives us something to talk about.
	Yeah, but, you know, it's just like, wow.
	I was...
	You should have made a clip.
	Yeah, I should have.
	My impression kind of sucked.
	But I just realized that this morning.
	I was like, my God, I can't believe that the whole premise of that movie is based upon the world we're living in today.
	Only then it was like, it's a Bill Murray movie, of course.
	It's nuts.
	That'll never happen.
	It's crazy.
	Crazy talk, I tell you.
	And otherwise uneventful.
	No strikes of terror, John.
	I'm sorry?
	No terror strikes.
	No, it's amazing.
	I think we're going to make it through the end of the year, even though I believe back in January, we could play the clip again, but we don't need to, Dianne Feinstein had all the top dogs sitting there in front of Congress, and they all predicted the worst is going to happen within the next three months.
	It's a done deal.
	And they all pointed at each other and said, yeah, I agree with him.
	Yeah.
	Well, I'm sure it's because the TSA is so awesome.
	TSA hasn't done anything.
	Well, are you kidding me?
	Excuse me?
	They did something very, very important.
	They did some extra checking this travel season.
	You didn't hear about the incredible, about the alert?
	What was the alert?
	As millions of Americans take to the skies in the rush to get home for Christmas, the TSA is on a potential tool for terrorists.
	What could it be, John?
	Wait, they designed a tool for the terrorists?
	Who's that are they on?
	They found a potential tool for terrorists.
	They found it.
	They've got it.
	Insulated thermos containers.
	ABC's Lindsay Davis joins us live from the newsroom now with details on this.
	Lindsay?
	Wait, what?
	I'm actually wondering why I didn't note this for the show.
	I think it's because it was so stupid.
	For one thing, who brings a thermos on?
	What, do they bring their box lunch and they've got a lunch pail and a thermos and they're going to eat?
	I mean, what's the deal?
	Have you ever brought a thermos on a plane?
	I've seen lots of people do it because what they'll do is they'll take the thermos through the security and then they'll fill up their coffee on the other end so it stays nice and warm and not in one of those cups that'll explode onto your lap and it's just, you know, paper cups.
	I've seen lots of people do it.
	But I've also seen people eat Taco Bell on the airplane.
	Ugh.
	That's kind of our culture, you know.
	It's like someone opens up a nice Taco Bell on the...
	Yeah, it stinks up.
	Oh my God.
	Here's the report because, of course, we need to understand exactly how this new tool of terror can be used.
	Good afternoon to you, Dan.
	Just want to give you a heads up.
	There is no particular ban here.
	It's just that you can expect that if you're going to pack one of these thermoses in your carry-on or your check bag that you're going to have to undergo a few more...
	Now, this is very interesting, because she says something here.
	Heads up.
	She says, if you have this in your checked luggage, you can expect to be searched.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Actually, I think that was a mistake.
	Well, why would she say this, then?
	Why would they check it in the...
	Why would it slow you down?
	And how would they know?
	Let's just listen, here.
	Carry on on your check bag that you're going to have to undergo a few more security measures.
	The issue...
	No, no, she dropped the ball.
	She fucked up on that.
	Sorry.
	Whoa, whoa, hello, hello.
	I kept...
	That's my weeks, that's my allotment.
	Whoa, Thursday show, I kept completely clean, 100%.
	You go and blow the record.
	You made it through one show.
	No, she screwed up.
	This is a mistake she made.
	She's talking about carry-on.
	She doesn't know what she's talking about.
	Oh, that's why she's on the news.
	Okay.
	Well, then let's get off that topic and let's listen to the true reason there was no terror this season.
	Because I really did find the true reason why we've had no terror attacks.
	Because the TSA, once again, is on the case, ladies and gentlemen.
	Sorry, that's the...
	Remember all that anger over Thanksgiving about...
	Oh, this is a great report.
	This is George Stephanopoulos.
	Remember all that anger over Thanksgiving about the TSA, John?
	Do you remember that anger?
	That outrage?
	I don't know.
	I was mad.
	Do you remember the anger?
	It's gone.
	It's all gone.
	People have been sedated.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Not just sedated, we're no longer angry.
	Remember all that anger over Thanksgiving about full body scans and pat-downs at airports?
	Yes.
	Well, for many passengers, the encounter with federal government screeners is a lot more pleasant now that Christmas is coming.
	Oh!
	Check out the TSA carolers at LAX. This is great.
	Listen to the report from the compromised ABC News.
	This is like so clearly, it's like, alright, here's the Ministry of Truth speaking.
	Please make these guys look human.
	And just listen to this report.
	It's outstanding.
	It's a bunch of TSA jabronis standing in the departure hall with like a keyboard.
	There's a lot of stress.
	So when our singers start singing, maybe they'll get a smile, maybe someone will just relieve a little bit of the stress.
	He was made of snow, but the children know how he came to life one day.
	Something that we do, I think, to show a different face for the TSA, more human side.
	Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer And they're all in their uniforms.
	And they've got a couple of guys who think they can sing.
	You know those people who then go into syncopic?
	I work with one.
	The TSA people who have been so bad mouthed, being everybody together, everybody in the Christmas spirit.
	Oh.
	Here he is.
	Here's the guy who's doing syncopic, like, you know, kind of like swinging through it all.
	Christmas Eve.
	What a way to get us on our trip to Christmas.
	American Airlines slides leaving at 12.05 to Miami, Denver, Chicago, San Francisco.
	And let's wind it up.
	What do you think, sir?
	Go TSA! Yeah!
	Yeah!
	Yeah, we love it!
	Go TSA! You're awesome!
	Unbelievable.
	Reminds you of the brown shirt chorus of 1938.
	I don't know if you're making a joke, but it wouldn't surprise me if it actually existed.
	If there was a brown shirt chorus.
	Isn't singing songs in the hinterland, isn't that one of the ways?
	Well, it's all they do in Germany.
	You go to a beer house and it's all they do.
	The whole place.
	Sing about das hinterland.
	It's like you're in there, you know, you're in Germany, you're floating around, you decide to go to a beer house on any time during the holidays.
	I can't imagine what it's like.
	And they're just singing the whole place, the whole bar.
	It's like a huge bar, 100 people, 200 people, and they're all singing songs you've never heard of.
	It's weird.
	I'm sure the brown shirts had a chorus.
	But it's really unbelievable.
	And of course, we've discussed that even though all the news networks are compromised, maybe it's just me, but every single story I get sent these days that is outrageous that comes from television news is from ABC News after there's a new news president over at ABC. I don't know.
	I'm getting just as much crap from the other networks.
	I don't know.
	Okay.
	But it's like all the big shows like Good Morning America.
	And so here's George Stephanopoulos.
	Announcing, you know, doing an intro to this total BS puff piece.
	And listen to what he's saying.
	Well, everyone was so angry.
	Well, we're not angry anymore because they're singing Christmas carols.
	Yeah, it's pretty lame.
	I mean, that's pretty out there.
	I mean, that's a former advisor to President Bill Clinton.
	Who is now one of the biggest morning network national programs that there is.
	That's pretty out there.
	I think you made your point.
	Hey, do we have anyone to thank for this program, John?
	Yeah, we've got a bunch of producers.
	We've got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven producers of some sort.
	Let's just name them who they are and we can figure out what their title is.
	Well, since you're in charge of...
	Just like Hollywood.
	Okay, we've got two executive producers that gave $333.33 and one of them actually gave $333.99, which is a Lennart Sir Lennart, actually, from Groningen.
	He says it's a long-time night due for a donation, so he contributed.
	Thank you, Sir Lennart.
	And he became the executive producer.
	And then there's David Chapman, who is another executive producer, and he had a little note here.
	Is that the guy who also killed John Lennon?
	No, that was some other Chapman.
	I don't think the guy who killed John Lennon is going to be donating to the show.
	I don't know.
	I'm just like, whoa, that's a recognizable name.
	He's in Wassenaar.
	Wassenaar.
	Wassenaar, Netherlands.
	He gave us 33333, and he needs a little help, he says.
	He's requesting some serious karma.
	His boss revealed the plans for the next outsourcing process next year.
	We've got to pull in double time to basically make ourselves redundant on time.
	Well, that's nice.
	Needless to say, I'm looking to jump ship and can use any help, cosmic or otherwise.
	All right, stand by.
	Open up.
	Here we come.
	You've got karma.
	That should do it, my friend.
	We're hoping.
	Yeah.
	Then we have a number of members of the 264 Club, including, I want to mention, last week's Gordon Walton, who jumped the gun from Austin, Texas, 264.
	Francois Pruel, who I pronounced it before.
	Pruel?
	Pruel.
	Pruel.
	Anyway, he's a long-time producer, so I wanted to recommend him watch some of the documentaries in the series, Vice Guide to Travel.
	Never heard of him.
	Currently available on Netflix.
	Some of these are documentaries on North Korea and Liberia.
	Quite interesting and thought-provoking, really.
	Not the type of crap that Michael Moore does.
	It's pretty hardcore ghetto documentaries.
	John, I'm pretty sure you're going to see the one on North Korea so you can better know the customs of the country.
	Actually, they're probably pretty similar to the customs of South Korea, I would think.
	Yeah, except for...
	Anyway, he's a friend in Montreal.
	Except for that dictator thing.
	He needs to know how far he is from his knighthood.
	Eric will take care of that and think it's his third, maybe fourth donation.
	It might be around 500 or so.
	He doesn't know.
	All right, cool.
	So he can cough up the remainder.
	Also, we've got Jeff Daly, another member of the 264 Club, Alexandria, Virginia, Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, and whatever you say in German, to the team at No Agenda.
	A special douchebag shout-out to Doug Challenger.
	Douchebag!
	Do you think he's a member of the Daly family of Chicago?
	Chaloner?
	No, I'm still Jeff Daly.
	Oh, I doubt it.
	And by the way, well...
	It's in Virginia.
	Yeah, Alexandria, Virginia.
	Hello, hello.
	Well, it doesn't mean...
	Hello, Spooksville.
	Of course he is.
	It's code.
	It's when you get a...
	It's Doug Chaliner, too.
	So, one of the two.
	And then we had one mail-in.
	We got a check in the mail.
	Check.
	Money in the mail.
	And this is also an executive producer?
	A member of the 264 Club.
	Oh, wow.
	Okay.
	You guys have a great show.
	I want to thank you for constantly opening my eyes to some of the things that are really going on around the world.
	I wouldn't get through any kind of mainstream media.
	I've been listening since Poland's government got a two to the head, and I've loved it ever since.
	Not the two to the head, but the show.
	Here's a PayPal-proof donation to join the 263 Club.
	For one reason or another, it doesn't get there in time.
	Here's an extra dollar for the 264 Club.
	And who sent this in?
	Because you didn't give us a name.
	This is Eric Wilka.
	And I don't have Eric's address on this.
	What, are you going to give it out so people can go thank him personally?
	No, I mean, I usually mention the city.
	Oh, the city or state.
	Yeah, good point.
	Whatever the case is, Eric, thanks a lot.
	He says, I'm not going to read this.
	Well, I guess I should read it because he'll probably send a note to Adam.
	I'll read this reluctantly.
	P.S. John, I enjoy Adam singing on the show.
	And could I hear the Gitmo Nation National Anthem?
	Well, I think it's a reasonable request.
	Why don't we do the Gitmo Nation National Anthem after we've done our...
	Halfway through, we'll do the halfway point.
	Yeah, and we also have the Five by One Club.
	Right, and we've got one more executive producer, associate executive producer, the rest of them will be executive producers, but Tom is sitting by himself, Tom Byrne.
	From Wellington, New Zealand.
	Hi, John.
	I feel bad that the money I thought was I was donating for the 42 coin ended up costing you some extra money.
	So here's a couple of hundred, two hundred dollars to help you out.
	Thank you very much, Mr.
	Byrne.
	So that's it for our executive producers for today's show.
	Number 264 and members of the 264 Exclusivity Club.
	So we do the 5x1s, we do the halfway mark.
	Is that how we're playing it?
	Okay, all right.
	I just want to make sure.
	Okay, so, boy, nice list.
	Thank you so much.
	You know, we've chosen for a completely different model than taking money from people who don't want us to talk about them, which is kind of fun the way it works in advertising, isn't it?
	Yeah, that's the way it works, too.
	Don't kid yourself.
	Sir Leonard Renkma, David Chapman being the executive producer of this episode, then executive producers and 264 Club members Gordon Walton, Francois Poul, Jeff Daly, Eric Wilke, and the associate executive producer Tom Byrne.
	Thank you all very much.
	This is an official credit.
	It works just like Hollywood.
	You can put it anywhere.
	You think it'll, like on your resume, your IMDB profile, put it in your LinkedIn.
	By the way, that's another good place to put your associate executive or executive producer credits.
	And at any time, unlike Hollywood, you need someone to vouch.
	We'll be right there for you.
	Now, of course, everyone else on this second day of Christmas, propagate the formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	New World's That's right.
	Shut up, you slaves.
	You seem to enjoy saying that more than you should.
	Because I know that we're all slaves.
	Well, we're definitely wage slaves.
	We're actually slaves to our producers.
	Excuse me, speak for yourself.
	Yeah, exactly.
	I'm a slave to the producers.
	I'm no wage slave.
	Well, this is kind of a wage.
	So...
	What else we got?
	Anything news this week?
	I have an interesting thing.
	I want to propose a concept.
	Okay.
	Hit me with it.
	And it's based on the clip I have.
	Let me open the clip file.
	I don't have as many clips as I'd like.
	You had a technical glitch.
	I had a technical glitch.
	But this clip is A Conflict of Interest USA, and people can kind of read between the lines as they listen to this clip.
	This is about the Health South.
	This was from the CNBC show Greed, which is actually a very good documentary of different kinds of scams that went on and how they...
	How they fell apart over time.
	And this was about the HealthSouth scam where they were just cooking the books and cooking the books.
	What was HealthSouth?
	They were just one of those health care providers that was just cooking the books to keep the stock price pumped up.
	And they make a little mention in here.
	And as soon as they said this, they said, oh my God, this could be why...
	The Madoff thing went as far as it did.
	We've done this show since during the Madoff outbreak and other scandals, the Stanford one and some of the other ones that came and went.
	We've been doing this since the Watergate tapes, I think.
	And one of the things that's always been fascinating is why didn't the regulators do anything?
	And especially when that one whistleblower guy kept presenting it to him time and time again.
	Years before.
	For years.
	Ten years, literally.
	He kept giving them the paper showing that this was a scam, period.
	Right.
	So I'm thinking, when I heard this clip, there's one little thing that's in there.
	I went, oh my God, there's collusion in the government, and this is the reason, and this is the reason.
	Nothing happened.
	There's collusion in the government?
	Yeah, but you've got to listen to this clip.
	It's not the collusion you think.
	Okay, let's hit it.
	Fraud at HealthSouth continues, and the CFO position seems to have a revolving door.
	I took the CFO position in 2001, probably because I was the only person stupid enough to take it.
	Weston Smith is the company's fourth CFO in as many years.
	By now, HealthSouth's books are in total disarray, and the fraud has grown to about $2 billion.
	Things are so bad, HealthSouth is reporting one set of earnings and is paying taxes on that set of earnings.
	The taxes that the company is paying is greater than the actual earnings that the company is generating.
	And for Smith, that's cool.
	How does that work?
	Well, to keep the fraud going, they have to pay the taxes on the fake earnings.
	Yeah, you have to say that you've got more earnings, and ergo you have to pay.
	And so they were paying, essentially every dime they were making was going to the IRS. Straight into the government.
	Yeah, and so I'm thinking, well, what...
	The SEC, or nobody did anything about this, what would be the motive for the SEC to stop this gravy train?
	Well, no, exactly, because it's bringing in the dough.
	It's not only bringing in, but it's bringing in all the dough.
	In other words, every nickel this company was making was going straight in to cover up a scam.
	That's great.
	So I'm thinking this is a major conflict of interest within the government.
	So you're the SEC, and you say, well, we're going to crack down on these guys, and somebody comes over to the IRS and says, look, these guys are...
	Hey, whose side are you on, dummy?
	We're making bank here.
	What are you talking about, man?
	Whose side are you on?
	Stop that already.
	So now...
	You wonder why the people that were at the SEC, nobody's fired, nobody's disciplined, nothing comes of it, and then they replace the head person as kind of a gesture.
	They retire the other person, not jail them, and then they bring a new person in.
	As we discussed about a year ago, the person they brought in was also part of the scheme.
	So the game is rigged, and the people that take it in the shorts, of course, are the investors, the shareholders, who end up getting screwed when the thing finally falls apart, which it always does.
	But meanwhile, did the government return the false taxes?
	Gee, no.
	So that, to me, is like the most interesting...
	As soon as I heard that, I said, oh my god, this is like the worst kind of conflict of interest.
	And the IRS has guns.
	They do have guns.
	Oh, serious guns.
	I've had them show up at my place of work.
	With guns?
	Yeah.
	With their hand on their holsters.
	I told you, does that happen at media?
	Yeah, you told me this.
	You mentioned this on the show some time ago.
	I'm sure new listeners have never heard this story.
	Yeah.
	It was a Wesley Snipes thing.
	I had an accountant in Europe, and even if you live abroad and pay taxes in the country where you're living, you still have to file with the United States of Gitmo.
	So that they know what you're doing.
	So we can check you, slave.
	And of course that information had gone to an accountant and they were supposed to file it and I guess they didn't file.
	So they didn't send in the paperwork.
	And then the IRS all of a sudden shows up because of course I was working at Mevio in the United States and paying local payroll taxes.
	Then they're like, all of a sudden like, hey, who's this guy?
	We've been looking for you.
	I'm like, you've been looking for me?
	Have you ever tried Google?
	I mean, it's not that hard to find me.
	Yeah, but now we got you.
	And then they showed up with their hands on their guns at the office.
	You know, we're looking for Mr.
	Curry.
	This is over in the San Francisco office?
	Yeah, and Mark Sierra was our CFO at the time.
	Remember Mark Sierra?
	No.
	He was like the yogi guy, and he always had his hand in a cast.
	No.
	But anyway, he was our CFO, and he was trying to calm him down.
	He's like, okay, why don't you guys just sit here?
	Work all of this out.
	What are they going to do?
	Gun you down?
	Take my salary and shut down the company.
	Are they going to lock up the place and shoot you?
	Yes!
	I'm telling you.
	I don't know, man.
	But they had their hands on their guns.
	They've got real sidearms.
	They've got more, too.
	We've looked at those reports.
	They've got shotguns and assault rifles.
	They're armed to the teeth.
	So yeah, total collusion.
	Yeah, makes sense.
	And then, please, let's presume that there are people within government who hold stock in a company like that.
	It's not illegal, you know.
	Senators, congressmen.
	Yeah, no, the senators and congressmen, we discussed this on the show, too.
	This is a retrospective show, it sounds like.
	It does sound like that, yeah.
	But we've discussed this, that the congressmen and aides, they can buy short.
	They can short stock, and when they hear about something going on, you'd think it would be considered inside information, but it's not.
	And so they make a fortune.
	People go into government, you know, making those low salaries of, you know, low, $60,000, $70,000, $80,000 a year.
	And then they will come out millionaires, and you wonder why.
	How does that happen?
	How does that work?
	How do you get so rich while serving the public?
	It doesn't make any sense.
	But no, now I'm convinced that the Madoff thing went on on purpose.
	You know, as long as he's paying more taxes.
	As long as he's paying the taxes, right.
	It's like, keep paying them taxes, and the tax was inflated, obviously, to keep a scam going.
	Mm-hmm.
	You have to pay more than your share.
	And who's complaining on the government side?
	You know, well, you know, it'll fall apart eventually.
	Let it fall apart on its own.
	So a bunch of people get wiped out.
	So the Washington Post, speaking of this type of shenanigans in government, the Washington Post has an article which came out the day before Christmas.
	And they actually did some of the work.
	And it turns out, you know, eight of every ten registered lobbyists who work for scanner technology companies Previously held positions in the government or Congress, most commonly in homeland security, aviation, or intelligence fields.
	So this is not just the Chertoffs.
	This is like the whole lobbying industry for...
	Basically, securite.
	Well, it's going beyond scanners now.
	Yeah, that's true.
	And the foot thing and all the rest of it.
	Well, do you know how much L3 has, according to this article, how much money L3 Communications of New York, which has, who was it?
	They had a couple of guys shilling for them.
	Anyway, they sell these other body scanners.
	Do you know how much money they've made in government contracts alone?
	$900 million.
	That's not bad.
	Most like the guys who do those websites for 8 million a pop.
	18 million!
	Oh, 18 million a pop for a website, you know, using Drupal.
	I think they've changed to SharePoint now because that was getting a little lame.
	It's one big scam.
	Well, it's just a way of ripping off the taxpayer.
	And it's not protecting the public.
	This is what really bothers me about this Health South thing.
	You know, they're paying all these taxes, or the Madoff thing, for that matter.
	I mean, there was no interest in protecting the public.
	It was just protecting the tax stream.
	I mean, nobody even brings this up.
	Which goes straight into all kinds of other stuff that we don't really benefit from.
	No, we don't benefit from any of it.
	All right.
	So, t'was the season, of course, to be jolly, John.
	And thank you, darling.
	I love you.
	Not you, John.
	Thank you.
	I love you too, but in a different way.
	Leaders around the world, of course, help us celebrate this joyous occasion.
	Our president went to some kids.
	He plugged his own book, which I don't have a clip of.
	But I had this little clip of how he was talking to the little slavelets at a Washington grade school, reading them the night before Christmas.
	And this actually kind of surprised me to hear how he's training them for their future lives as slaves to terror and other fine human resources.
	Listen to what he says to them.
	The president also wrote a holiday classic, Twas the Night Before Christmas, by Clement Moore.
	With a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be...
	St.
	Nick!
	A.K.A. Santa Claus.
	What?
	A.K.A. Santa Claus.
	A.K.A. Santa Claus?
	In other words...
	It's like a name for a book.
	Let me write it down.
	A.K.A. Santa Claus.
	My daughter's leaving to me.
	Say goodbye.
	Bye, baby.
	See you tomorrow?
	Okay.
	Bye.
	Yeah, a.k.a.
	Santa Claus.
	Fill in the blank.
	A.k.a.
	Anwar al-Awlaki.
	It's just preparing the slavelets to...
	What's his name?
	Oh, a.k.a.
	something else.
	These kids are like five.
	A.k.a.
	A.k.a.
	Nick!
	A.k.a.
	Santa Claus.
	Yeah, you gotta send me that clip.
	And you hear, like, the room is dead, right?
	What do you expect, Obama?
	You're not getting any laughs with the kids.
	You expect the kids to go, that's hilarious!
	That's hilarious!
	What's that mean?
	I don't get it.
	I don't understand what he's saying.
	And then, of course, in Gitmo Nation, United States of Europe, do you know who the president is of the United States of Europe, John?
	Well, isn't it the same guy?
	The dishrag guy?
	The what?
	The dishrag guy.
	The dishrag guy?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you got to know his name.
	Rumpoy.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Herman Van Rumpoy.
	He decided to leave us all with it.
	Well, you know what he does for a hobby.
	Yeah, he's a poet.
	He's a haiku idiot.
	Yes, haiku.
	That's right.
	He wrote us a little haiku.
	Oh, I want to hear it.
	Well, unfortunately, he did it in Dutch.
	Oh, that sucks.
	But it's only three lines, so I can translate it.
	Okay, translate it.
	Let's listen to it.
	Mag ik het met een haiku zeggen?
	Stilte en vreugde.
	Silence and happiness.
	Van kerstmis tot het nieuwe jaar.
	From Christmas to the new year.
	Hopen ook op hoop.
	We're hoping for hope.
	We're hoping for hope?
	Yes.
	Silence?
	What's the silence?
	Do you tell everyone to shut up?
	Yeah, let's do it again.
	Mag ik het met een haiku zeggen?
	Een haiku.
	Stilte en vreugde.
	Silence and actually silence and happiness.
	Silence and joy.
	Silence and happiness.
	Yeah, just shut up, you'll be happy.
	Shut up, you'll be happy.
	Van kerstmis tot het nieuwe jaar.
	Oh, it's code from Christmas to the new year.
	So you've got to shut up and be happy between Christmas and the new year.
	That's weird.
	It's only a week.
	I don't know.
	I'm just saying.
	That's what he's telling us to do.
	And then the payoff?
	Hoping the oak.
	Hop hope.
	Also hoping for hope.
	What does that even mean?
	I have no idea what hoping for hope means.
	But that's literally what he's saying.
	Bob Hope fan.
	Hoping for hope.
	Damn.
	And then the president and the first lady did a teleprompter for Christmas.
	Oh, it's so horrible.
	And all the, oh, servicemen, oh, the servicemen, oh, the servicemen.
	One of the clips I lost from an equipment malfunction was the Queen.
	Oh, of England?
	The Queen of England giving her little speech, and the only reason you're missing out not hearing it is because it has nothing to do with Christmas.
	It was about sport.
	Really?
	Yeah, she said everyone should go out and play more in the fields.
	Seriously, that's what it was.
	Sport is good.
	It's good exercise.
	It's like eight feet of snow.
	What is she telling the kids to do?
	Go out and play in the snow, kids.
	Freeze.
	Get used to the heat you're not going to have when we ration you.
	Wow.
	So I guess, so I do have the PBS report of snow in Europe, which that clip came through.
	The clip that unfortunately didn't come through was the BBC report of snow in Europe, which was a little more interesting.
	But there was one piece of information in the PBS report of snow in Europe, if you want to hit it.
	Christmas Eve was anything but a time of celebration for thousands of air travelers in Europe.
	A new round of snow and ice caused new delays just as problems from earlier in the week had begun to clear.
	At Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport, planes sat on the tarmac today after a shortage of de-icer fluid cut takeoffs in half.
	Beds and blankets were brought out, but for many people there was no end to the frustration.
	This is the third day we have waited in the airport.
	We waited for six hours today just to get to the Air France information desk.
	They have promised us a flight for tomorrow, but tonight we are just on a waiting list.
	We'll wait and see.
	We might have a hotel for tonight.
	We'll have to wait after tonight's flight leaves.
	There it is.
	We are enjoying our Christmas Eve.
	Airports in Dublin, Ireland, and Brussels, Belgium also ran short of de-icing fluid and the unexpected cold.
	In Pakistan, about...
	We had some people over here for Mickey's Art Club, including the artist who was Dutch.
	And most of these people all went back on the same plane to Schiphol.
	And so they arrived at Schiphol Airport, had to wait on the tarmac for three hours.
	Three hours because some...
	And it was completely snowed in, of course, because some plane couldn't leave the gate.
	And by the way, this is the home field for KLMs.
	It shows you how much they care about their passengers.
	After flying for 12 hours, they're on the tarmac.
	Well, that sucks.
	When you land...
	You should be able to get a gate.
	Yeah, no gate.
	But of course, the movements are very hard because of all the snow.
	They clear the runways, but it's hard to keep the taxiways and the generators clear.
	But then the luggage, they weren't even taking luggage off the plane.
	And they said, come back next week.
	What?
	Yes, I swear to God.
	People had to wait a week for their luggage.
	And they didn't bring it to them.
	They had to come and get it.
	And then search for it amongst piles of luggage.
	Yes.
	It was pandemonium.
	God.
	And of course...
	They search for their own luggage.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That reminds me of the story.
	So I go to...
	Now it's going to become anecdote time.
	So I go to Russia.
	And I'm like, I've been on an aeroflot flight of all things, which is quite an experience.
	I could talk for a while about that.
	So, but I checked all my, I didn't check anything because I don't trust anyone anywhere.
	Except when I'm returning from Europe, I will check luggage.
	But on the way over, no.
	So I'm stuffing my stuff in the overhead.
	And somebody's complaining to me about, you know, being a nuisance for doing this.
	So I got there.
	I got all my stuff.
	Some guy never gets his luggage.
	Right.
	And so he says, so he makes a big fuss.
	He's in the same group.
	He makes a huge fuss with the airline.
	He says, oh, you know, luggage, you know.
	And then apparently some woman had her luggage stolen, but she was a member of some family that premieres aunt or something.
	And all of a sudden they found her luggage instantly.
	So he says he goes into, he says he finally gets them to take him to the lost luggage warehouse.
	Sure.
	Where he wants to look around.
	It turns out to be a hangar the size of that Moffat Field thing.
	This huge, monstrous...
	That you can park the space shuttle in?
	You can put a couple in there, and it's mountains high of luggage.
	And you get to drive through it.
	There's like a roadway through these mountains of luggage.
	You'd think that people would be more interested in getting their stuff.
	You know what I'm saying?
	He said it was the weirdest.
	I'd love to have seen this thing.
	He did find his luggage, curiously, because it was the latest thing.
	They threw it on there.
	He says all the tags were intact.
	He had his name, address, phone.
	It was all on there.
	It wasn't like there was anything missing that this luggage would be.
	No.
	They just apparently just randomly grabbed luggage and throw it into this pile, and then they go through it, rummage through it, and steal stuff.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, probably.
	Anyway, that's my story for the day.
	So, anyway, so PBS plays this pretty straight.
	BBC played it, but instead of just being a planes' bad, trains' good story, they actually played up the trains' problems, because the trains had the same issues.
	Yes.
	They weren't going anywhere.
	And the one that was the most interesting that the BBC talked about was the Berlin to Hanover train, Apparently, halfway through because when you have those overhead wires that they use for the electrical high-speed trains, they get loaded down with ice and they just froze.
	And so the train had to literally stop halfway.
	And for like 12, I just stopped and stayed there.
	So people had to snooze on the train.
	Actually, I got a message from one of our producers in Gitmo Nation Deutschland, and the whole article was about the horrible state of German rail.
	Apparently, these train cars are outdated.
	Half of the electricity doesn't work, so there's no lights when they go through tunnels.
	It's in shambles, apparently.
	And I don't know why.
	There's only one article.
	It's expensive to keep up this train network.
	This train business costs too much money.
	That's what it is.
	Exactly.
	So the first thing I heard when I heard these reports, though, is, oh, we ran out of de-icing.
	We ran out of de-icing.
	Well, maybe it's because you planned for global warming.
	Yeah.
	Thank you.
	I read a tweet from someone this morning saying there's something really profoundly wrong about seeing a foot of snow on top of my Prius that I bought to save the world from global warming.
	Take a photo.
	Exactly.
	Hey, we have a...
	Well, actually, I don't know if it's a two to the head.
	But a very interesting story, and I can do some anecdotes about this story, which popped up just before the Christmas festivities.
	Police were slow to release any details about the investigation into the death of 27-year-old aspiring model Adrian Nicole Martin.
	Always a code there.
	Aspiring model.
	What does that usually mean, John?
	Uh, she's a hooker?
	Exactly.
	Who was found dead inside the home of August Bush IV, former CEO of Anheuser-Busch.
	Police said the woman died at Bush's Huntley home in Missouri, but say they found no apparent signs of trauma.
	Bush's longtime family attorney released a statement saying there was, quote, nothing to suggest anything suspicious.
	The medical examiner is expected to take six weeks to determine the cause of death.
	So Anheuser-Busch was my client in the mid-90s.
	My company built Budweiser.com and BudLight.com.
	The Born On label that you have on your beer can was my idea.
	The born on date.
	Yeah, you've mentioned this before.
	I don't know if I've mentioned it on the show.
	Oh, okay.
	It's a good idea.
	I'll do it on the show.
	This is back when the web was hand-coded.
	When front page was only a gleam in my eye.
	And we discovered that if you could read the barcode on a bottle or on a can of Budweiser, you could figure out, When your beer came off the assembly line down to the quarter hour and we had a widget on the website and you could enter in the code and then it would give you your born on date and they liked it so much to put it on the can.
	Anyway, so at the time, Grindr Because I know all the nicknames and everything.
	This is like a family business before the Belgians bought it, InBev.
	It just got sold, which of course is why this guy is going off the deep end.
	So August Bush III, better known as Grinder, he was just handing the reins over to August Bush IV. His nickname?
	Woody.
	And with good reason.
	This guy was nothing but a player.
	He had nothing but chicks running around.
	I think he's divorced.
	And he was divorced back then.
	I think he might have had one kid, really young at the time.
	But he was, you know, I was in his office.
	We were pitching him.
	I can't remember.
	Because he was like the CEO. And he had to pitch this jabroni.
	And you look at his agenda and it would say, like, buy Porsche today.
	That's what was in his planner.
	Like, okay, you're really busy.
	So, yeah.
	I think we can just, if they're going to release any information, if they do any real investigation, I think you'll find that this aspiring model came to her end in an unfortunate, perhaps drug-related way.
	I think you can just kind of wait for that.
	That's not two to the head by any means.
	No, no, no.
	Actually, it was filed under the wrong heading.
	So we do have a two to the head.
	We do have a real two to the head, exactly.
	Story, which...
	Do you have any of the details of it?
	I don't have it on my screen.
	Yeah, I have some of the links.
	I mean, this is a real sketchy one.
	It's obviously a two to the head because the guy's killed.
	He's like one of these...
	Well, here, I have a...
	Hold on a second.
	I have a clip...
	I hope this clip will play for us.
	And this clip is a news report about what happened, and then we can kind of get into the details.
	Jason, researchers around the world are mourning the death tonight.
	A professor at Case Western, Mark Smith, a renowned authority in the field of Alzheimer's research, was killed by a hit-and-run driver.
	New Channel 5's Curtis Jackson is live in the newsroom with more on this story.
	John Mark Smith was one of the top three Alzheimer's researchers in the world.
	His innovative theories on the disease radically changed the search for a cure.
	The 45-year-old opened researchers eyes to antioxidants as a potential way to prevent Alzheimer's.
	He was also the editor-in-chief of the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease.
	Police say Smith was killed by a hit-and-run driver on Chagrin Road in Bainbridge Township.
	His death has devastated people who hope to one day find a cure.
	But wait, there's more.
	So not only is...
	And this is the guy, by the way, who predicted that Eli Lilly, that their Alzheimer's drug would fail.
	Right, and also, because they were complete opposite ends of the spectrum on the analysis of what...
	This one particular substance which forms in the brain and it actually kind of...
	It's like scabs.
	It scabs up areas that are scarred for one reason or another.
	And the Eli Lilly drug eliminates this from happening because they believe that that's what causes Alzheimer's.
	This guy who's dead believes just the opposite.
	That's necessary to the brain for this function to take place.
	And the Lilly drug is actually making Alzheimer's worse.
	So not only does this guy get killed by a hit-and-run driver after he's been pretty much against one of the largest industries in the universe outside of the banking world, but then something very interesting is discovered.
	The fact that Alzheimer's is now the sixth leading cause of death in the United States makes it a huge issue for this country and for the rest of the world, and finding a cure is critical because the baby boomers are starting to reach the age where Alzheimer's can start to hit, and he was determined to find a cure or help find a cure.
	Sorry, that was actually about the size of the industry when you think about it.
	I mean, how does Alzheimer's kill you, John?
	Do you forget to breathe or what happens?
	I don't know.
	I mean, I don't know that it's a direct cause of death.
	I mean, you wander off so much and you get lost.
	No, I mean, it's the, what did she just say?
	Like the fifth largest cause of death?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I never heard that it was a cause of death.
	That's what she just said.
	Well, I don't know.
	What does it cause you to do?
	Well, I don't know, but it's a cause of death.
	Hold on.
	The baby boomers are starting to reach the age.
	Hold on.
	Let me just roll that back for a second.
	Well, now I have to look into this because I... I mean, there's too many causes.
	You know, the number of people, there's causes of death, and if you start doing the math, it's like, it's way over 100%.
	Because this is the cause of death, and that's the cause of death, or it causes something else.
	Listen to the way she said it again.
	In the United States.
	Sorry, I'm back just a little bit.
	Hold on.
	I want to hear this now.
	This is interesting.
	At Alzheimer's is now the sixth leading cause of death.
	Here, the sixth leading cause of death.
	So how?
	Does that make any sense?
	I thought that was swine flu.
	Well...
	How could it be Alzheimer's?
	If they were lucky.
	Well, let's...
	Okay.
	Well, anyway, so while you're looking that up, let's continue with the report because the hit-and-run driver that killed him came to a very unfortunate end.
	...a huge issue for this country and for the rest of the world in finding a cure...
	Is critical because the baby boomers are starting to reach the age where Alzheimer's can start to hit and he was determined to find a cure or help find a cure.
	Police say 50-year-old David Nesham of Bainbridge Township was behind the wheel of the car that killed Smith.
	Bizarrely, police tracked down the car and found Nesham dead inside the vehicle.
	Oh!
	And by the way, that story changed.
	He was dead inside the vehicle in one report and dead inside his house in another.
	Oh yeah, no, it's been all over the map.
	Causes and circumstances surrounding Nesham's death and the accident remain under investigation.
	Reach by phone tonight.
	Smith's wife told me she has received condolence calls.
	Right.
	Okay.
	Well, that doesn't sound good.
	No.
	Sounds like a pro.
	Yeah, Mike Zelina, Sir Mike, actually, one of our producers, put together a whole bunch of links which are in the show notes at NoAgendaShow.com.
	And this is indeed, there's a different link there where the article says the driver was found dead in his home, but in the video report they're saying he was found dead in his car.
	But when you think about anything that potentially could stop the six largest cause of death, And how much money is involved in that, and someone who is a squeaky wheel or a cog in the machine, I think sometimes it's easier to kill somebody than to deal with the fallout from it.
	Oh, there's a new report here.
	Oh, this is great, John.
	The driver in the car that killed the case died of a drug overdose.
	These guys have no shame, do they?
	It's a pro.
	Here's the report.
	The coroner's office is supposed to release...
	Interesting how that always takes weeks to release results, but now it's like they have, oh, preliminary results.
	It looks like he died of a drug overdose in his home after the accident.
	No word on what the drug was that he OD'd on.
	Unbelievable.
	Hey, if someone hits me with a car and dies of a drug overdose, please, please don't believe it was just a coincidence.
	Yeah, but I cannot believe it's a coincidence, but what am I going to do about it?
	Stay indoors.
	Stay away from windows.
	You're next.
	Why is this little red dot on me?
	We've been tracking the foots that have been washing up on the shore, primarily up there in Washington.
	Yeah, Puget Sound mostly.
	No agenda foots.
	Also Canada, the shorelines of that area.
	So I found an article that was sent to me.
	Someone has an explanation.
	And by the way, We are the only international show of any sort that covers this topic.
	Intergalactic show.
	We're the only people that cover this topic.
	Well, not only that, but we have a website for it, noagendafoots.com.
	Yes.
	And every single foots that has washed...
	By the way, there's no feats in the plural of foots that washes up on shore.
	We're tracking.
	Now we have Shane Lambert...
	Who is Shane Lambert?
	I think some...
	I don't know who this is.
	But wrote in with an explanation to the Vancouver Sun.
	And here it is.
	In my opinion, some of the feet...
	Which should be foots.
	Belong to missing victims of the Asian tsunami from 2004.
	Oh, bullcrap.
	And their feet were just floating on ocean currents.
	And during the tsunami, the one foot just came dislocated and decided to float out to sea and then came all the way across the Pacific and then land in Vancouver rather than Santa Monica?
	Give me a break.
	I'm just telling you, this is serious news here.
	Ha ha ha.
	Oh, there's an update to the story.
	Apparently only one of the running shoes found on the foots was of a type not commonly found in North America.
	It was manufactured in India.
	So that kind of blows the whole tsunami theory.
	I mean, how can you even believe that a foot will stay good in the water for six years?
	How do people even publish this stuff?
	I don't know.
	It's just like, I don't know.
	It's like a columnist.
	Hey, so guess what?
	I finally saw the movie Iron Man.
	The first one or the second one?
	The first one.
	Yeah, it's a good movie.
	It's a little far-fetched.
	What, you mean about a guy who builds a metal suit that can fly?
	Yeah, somewhat.
	Yeah, and your point is?
	That was it.
	That's my point.
	That's the one you saw for Christmas?
	That was your big family outing?
	It's the family movie.
	Oh, it's great.
	I also started watching once again.
	This will be the third time.
	I don't like to watch movies over and over.
	Eric loves watching movies a million times, but I rarely watch a movie twice, even though every time I do, I go, that's funny.
	I don't remember this.
	But The International is a movie which should be on our list of whoever's maintaining the media list of movies to watch, recommended movies.
	The International is just such a really nice film that it's about international banking and the corruption involved.
	Clive Owen and Julia Roberts, I believe.
	No, it's not Julia Roberts.
	It's some other...
	It's not Julia Roberts?
	No, it's not.
	It's a blonde woman.
	And it's just a very entertaining film.
	Right.
	Have you seen it?
	Yes, we've discussed it many times.
	Oh yeah, we've discussed it again.
	I do want to mention something that happened on the last show.
	I opened up the show with quite a tirade about the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal, which of course is not really a repeal.
	And we've gotten a couple of people saying, You read the wrong bill, you douchebag, you horrible man, you asswipe.
	You read the wrong bill number.
	Correct.
	And this is what's so disappointing, because ironically, people who are yelling, saying, you know, you read the wrong bill, man, they actually haven't read the bill.
	They haven't read any of the bills.
	They haven't read any of it, because I gave out the wrong number, but I did read the correct bill.
	I read the text of the right bill, but I gave out the wrong number.
	And these people who are saying that I'm horrible and I was wrong, you didn't even take the time to do what we try and teach you to do on the show, which is actually read.
	It's only one page.
	And luckily, we did get a little bit of news.
	Defense Secretary Robert Gates sent a memo.
	Oh, by the way, troops who think that this has been repealed, I want to remind you that Don't Ask, Don't Tell remains in effect until 60 days after the government certifies the military is ready for implementation.
	The Pentagon says it does not know how long the certification process may take.
	And still everywhere.
	You watch, the whole trip is on now about Obama's done these five great things in the first half.
	Yeah, they're really playing that up.
	It's like, he's so great.
	And even on the White House websites, they say it right there.
	The president signed a bill that repeals don't ask, don't tell.
	It's just not true.
	I don't want to get into it again, but it's just not true.
	And I hope you were able to tell some of your relatives and friends this when you were on Christmas visitation.
	Let them know.
	It's a big lie.
	It's a big joke.
	Lies from the government.
	Also found this...
	This funny analysis about the START Treaty.
	And it says...
	This was Mikhail Margulov, head of Foreign Affairs Committee of the Russian Federation, in a television interview, said, If you read the text of the START document carefully...
	It becomes clear that Americans will be reducing the number of warheads they have, while Russia can up the levels defined by the document.
	This is even better than I thought it was.
	Is that right?
	Yeah.
	Well, I don't know what the current levels are, but apparently this guy says, Why are we bothering signing something like that?
	Because it's to help.
	We talked about this.
	Because it's not about protecting anybody.
	It's about selling particular types of weapons.
	So essentially what we did is we traded some of our weapons so we could have better access to certain markets that the Russians may have locked down.
	Yeah, exactly.
	And we get to be in the Visa MasterCard business, I guess.
	Well, they went through a lot of rigmarole to make sure we had Visa and MasterCard access in Russia.
	I mean, there's a bunch of that in the WikiLeaks.
	Yes, exactly.
	Well, that's my point.
	And then how does this work?
	You get Anna Chapman, who, of course, is she already in Playboy?
	She's going to be in Playboy next month, I think, or this coming month?
	The hot, red-headed Russian spy?
	The Russian spy, yeah.
	Dude, listen to this.
	Ex-Russian spy Anna Chapman made her political debut in Moscow as the leader of a Kremlin-backed youth group.
	How does this work?
	I want to be a Russian spy and then get a great kid.
	This is classic.
	I mean, this is to show you that the intelligence agencies have taken over both these countries.
	But it's fantastic because, first of all, she's in Maxim magazine.
	Then she gets a job.
	She got some really good gig at a university.
	And now she's the leader of a political party.
	And she's in Playboy.
	And she's still hot.
	This is awesome.
	Chapman became a media sensation when her glamorous life as a sleeper agent in the U.S. was discovered.
	I love the little sleeper agent.
	Sleeper agent.
	Sleep with me, baby, you sleeper agent.
	Prime Minister Vladimir Putin defended Chapman and the nine others in the Russians' firing after they were arrested and expelled from the U.S. Why were they expelled?
	Why didn't we hang them?
	Why didn't we waterboard them or execute them?
	Well, they didn't do anything illegal.
	Except for the false papers, and you can't really waterboard people over that.
	Oh, yes you can.
	And I think there was a swap.
	There was a swap.
	Let's face reality.
	What did we swap?
	What did we get in return?
	I don't see any...
	You don't know.
	It was obviously something nobody wanted to talk about.
	Well, maybe this is...
	So we swapped and we still have less nuclear warheads?
	I don't get it.
	Well, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me either, but I'm sure we're somehow...
	Generally speaking, we come out ahead on these deals, so I'm not too concerned about it.
	Oh, I know.
	I get it.
	She gets to return to Russia, and we get pictures of her in Playboy.
	That's how we win.
	Yay!
	That's a win-win for everyone.
	You also promised them jobs back home.
	The attractive 28-year-old has profited from her celebrity.
	She won a consulting job at a Russian bank.
	Not a university, a bank.
	Consulting job at a bank.
	Consulting job at a bank.
	Hey, Anna.
	How much room you got under that desk?
	Anna, come over here.
	We want you in this meeting.
	Hey, Anna was on the calendar as a resource you could book.
	It's like a conference room.
	Oh, Anna's busy.
	Damn.
	I wanted her in my meeting.
	She's so fun to look at.
	And appeared in a lingerie photo shoot for a magazine.
	Do you notice how women, even in Russia, do that woo thing?
	Isn't that kind of weird?
	Well, they obviously picked it up from American movies.
	From Oprah Winfrey, yeah.
	From Oprah Winfrey, yeah.
	It's usually when women drink.
	Scream, it's a banshee.
	But it's a drink thing.
	Whenever they're like, we're going to drink, yeah!
	Woo!
	Woo!
	We're going to drink!
	Woo!
	You never hear guys go like that.
	Hey, man, let's go have a beer.
	Woo!
	Woo!
	Hey, woo!
	Let's have a beer!
	I never hear that.
	But it's...
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, play it again.
	It's like this Chelsea Lately thing.
	And there's all...
	There's a big thing with women drinking that I don't...
	Women drinking and howling.
	Yeah, woo!
	Let's drink!
	Woo!
	Woo!
	I finally saw that full clip of the Oprah Winfrey giveaway.
	Yeah.
	One of my most favorite things.
	Wow.
	Wow, that's pretty.
	Bill Maher used that as his Christmas card.
	Yeah, he blasted her.
	Yeah.
	But it was unbelievable.
	Those women just going nuts over stuff.
	And Oprah looking like she's completely insane.
	We picked up the National Enquirer in bankruptcy now.
	Which makes no sense to anybody.
	I don't know what the deal is with that bankruptcy.
	Maybe the agencies don't have enough control over it.
	It's not going anywhere.
	Regardless, they're still saying that Oprah's gay.
	They're not having it.
	Oh, they are?
	Yeah, they're not having any of her explanation.
	It's like the real truth.
	Yeah, let's face it, when it comes to this stuff, these guys are always kind of right.
	No, the Inquirer is notorious for being right, even though they pay.
	The funny thing is they're always right, but the mainstream media won't give them any kudos for it because they're unethical because they will pay sources for information.
	You know, like the way the cop pays the, you know, the boot black, you know, five bucks so he can find out what's going on around the corner.
	So they, but the fact of the matter is, and everybody in the writing community and journalists, generally speaking, all know that the Inquirer is incredibly, I mean, they have been sued when they've been wrong, but their track record is actually pretty phenomenal.
	I mean, they're the ones who busted Edwards before anyone had a clue.
	They had Al Gore the sex poodle.
	They had Al Gore.
	Yeah, they get these guys.
	They got all this stuff.
	Do you think Oprah's compromised, by the way?
	Do you think she's compromised?
	She's probably not compromised.
	That's why they're going after her.
	Right, right.
	She's trying to hang on to every little...
	Because she's going to do this own Oprah's Women's Network.
	And I think that's...
	She's also got so much money that she's an obvious target for a lot of evil people.
	Yeah, like the Hollywood Whackers.
	Yeah, it's possible.
	I think she's out of Chicago.
	Yeah, no, but the Hollywood Whackers is where they whack.
	Well, she should stay out of Hollywood.
	Yeah.
	Especially Beverly Hills.
	It's dangerous.
	So we digress.
	We digress.
	We've fallen off the track for a change.
	That's good.
	People need to see that once in a while.
	Well, here, just a little break.
	I got an oldie but a goodie.
	Just tell me, guess who this person is?
	Play Memorable Scream real quick.
	I don't even have to listen to know who it is.
	And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House!
	That was Howard Dean.
	It was the scream that killed the campaign, they said.
	Yeah, well, his campaign was dead in the water at the time, but that really killed it.
	You know, I remember when Howard Dean...
	Howard Dean was interesting because he was the first internet candidate where they'd actually...
	Joe Trippi and these guys had put together...
	Yeah.
	An amazing...
	Because this guy was on the cover of Time Magazine.
	He was going to be the...
	I mean, he was just heading...
	He was on the right track of heading out.
	So I got the...
	I watched him when he first...
	When he killed himself when he showed up on talk shows.
	When he came to the Letterman show.
	I'm sorry, the Leno show.
	He came out.
	His tie, I swear to God, was down to his knees.
	Yeah.
	He had this big red tie down to his knees and all that was missing was a red nose and maybe the tie lights up.
	He looked like a clown and he clumped out and he was just goofy and he was trying to be funny.
	He just got written out.
	He got written out of the script.
	He wrote himself out of the script.
	He was not electable.
	Okay.
	Why do you bring that up?
	Is it any particular reason?
	No, I was thinking of doing a retrospective of the last year No Agenda shows based on clips.
	And then I came up with this clip.
	I said, this clip is four or five...
	What is this clip?
	Eight years old?
	How old is this clip?
	Yeah, eight years.
	Anyway, so...
	And so you got stuck on it.
	You just kept it playing in a loop and that was it?
	I couldn't...
	I had to play it because we never played that clip on the show.
	Never moved any further.
	And I just felt the desire to play the clip.
	Okay.
	Alright, a couple things from around Gitmo Nation.
	Let's see.
	This is kind of interesting.
	There's kind of a war going on in the southern part of Gitmo Nation lowlands.
	And I'm not quite sure how this works, but now in Maastricht, which is way down at the bottom, that kind of borders on France.
	If you look at the map there, you can see Belgium is all interconnected down there at the bottom of the lowlands.
	The EU courts have now approved, I think I told you about this, about the weed license, the pass.
	So if you're a foreigner and you come across the border and want to buy weed in a coffee shop in the lowlands down there in the south, they can refuse you service because you're a foreigner.
	Which is really weird, because these are supposed to be states now, like the United States.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, so they're banning that.
	The whole thing is, of course...
	What is foreigner?
	I mean, do they mean foreigner?
	French.
	French.
	Yeah, French.
	You're from Belgium.
	Oh, sorry.
	What if you're from the United States?
	Completely out of the question.
	But that's the only reason these places are in business is because of a bunch of wannabe stoners from the United States showing up.
	Well, England, actually.
	But there's something else going on down there.
	I mean, I'm not quite sure what's happening, but this is being used as the excuse.
	But now, if you want to buy weed, now you have to have some kind of pass.
	You have to have a weed pass?
	You have to be a registered weed smoker?
	Yeah, well, it's like California.
	In fact, weed is more legal in California than it is in the Netherlands.
	I have to keep reminding people of this.
	It is not legal in the Netherlands.
	It is not legal.
	Barring foreigners, maybe a weird victory for Dutch border towns.
	Maastricht alone sees 10,000 visitors a day, mostly from Belgium, Germany, and France.
	The number of those visitors who come primarily to purchase marijuana, and of course pot isn't all they purchase, income tax and revenues from border city coffee shops are likely to decline precipitously.
	Yeah, duh.
	Great reporting.
	Precipitously, I think is the word.
	Yeah, that's what I meant.
	But that's kind of weird, though.
	And this is part of just removing it all together, I guess.
	Because you can't have one country amongst all the states in the Union there.
	We do that here.
	We got California.
	They got their own weed laws.
	Yeah, but our president doesn't do haikus.
	In other words, they're not doing this right.
	They're not doing it as a republic.
	They're doing it as a giant Nazi state.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, well, that's different.
	So it shouldn't even be called the United States of Europe because they're not states anymore.
	Well, they're getting pretty close on some stuff.
	In Gitmo Nation East, they're ready to roll out the slave jewelry.
	So if you thought see something, say something was weird, how about chipping granny?
	This is an actual product in the UK. It's called Chipping Granny?
	It's called Buddy.
	It's called Buddy.
	Buddy?
	Yeah, have a listen.
	Darling, I'm fine.
	Okay, bye now.
	Is that your door shut?
	Yes.
	She means well, but ever since I had that fool, she does nothing but ring and check up on me.
	You need a Buddy.
	A Buddy?
	Oh, good.
	All's fine with Mum.
	How do you know?
	I bought her a Buddy.
	A what?
	This is amazing.
	It protects me day and night, and it stops Lucy from worrying about me.
	If Mum has a fall or doesn't get home safe, Buddy tells me straight away exactly where she is.
	Well done, Lucy.
	You always were the clever sister.
	I think it's time I got a buddy.
	We all have people we worry about.
	Find out how Buddy could help give peace of mind for you and for those you love.
	Visit buddy.co.uk.
	And they're actually sitting there at the kitchen table looking at a map tracking grandma for Buddy.
	I think we can sell that product here and make some serious money.
	The patent's already owned probably by BI Incorporated.
	Well, you obviously have to get a license.
	I mean, you can't just do a trash.
	This is the new I've fallen, I can't get up thing.
	It's great.
	That's great.
	And by the way, speaking of tracking, so nice to see that NORAD, our aviation defense system, is able to track a mythical fat guy in a red suit flying on a sleigh with reindeer.
	It can't seem to report and or do anything about jet airliners supposedly hijacked by Muslim terrorists on 9-11.
	It's fascinating how that works.
	It's such an insult after 9-11 that they actually still go through the motions of, oh, we're tracking Santa on the satellite, on NORAD. We're so cool.
	See, that's about all you track is phantom stuff.
	I wish they would track Ben Laden.
	Yeah, well, precisely.
	So I think we should get to our contributors.
	Okay.
	And your Skype is breaking up for some reason.
	I don't know.
	I have no problem here.
	Okay.
	So we want to thank some people who donated to the show for this week, and let's get right to them.
	We have a number of members of the 5x1 club who gave us $111.11, and a couple of them have names that are completely unpronounceable, including our friend from Vorst, Belgium, Bas Bruninkix.
	Let me try this for you.
	Brass Bruninkix.
	Bas Bruininks.
	Bruininks.
	There you go.
	Bruininks?
	Bruininks is probably closer to it.
	Bas Bruininks from Forst in Belgium.
	Boss Brownicks.
	Say it.
	Say it with me now.
	Boss Brownicks.
	Very good.
	Member of the 5x1 Club.
	And then from Yardley, Pennsylvania, we've got Brad Doherty, which is spelled Doherty, which is what we...
	I had a guy named Brian Doherty.
	He's a famous guy in the tech business.
	But Doherty is one way of pronouncing it.
	He's got a bonus this year, so he gave us $111.11 giving you guys some of it.
	My name is pronounced Doherty.
	Hmm.
	Also, Peter Totes in Sugar Land, Texas, $111.11.
	Stephen Cogswell in Rusagonis, New Brunswick, Canada.
	Hi, John and Adam.
	Although I'm a douchebag and know it, I don't deserve a de-douching.
	Instead, I'm donating in order to get some karma for my friend Tim Morris.
	Sorry.
	Let's go.
	No, go ahead.
	Tim Morris.
	Tim Morris, who is not a douchebag and has a great podcast called Appy Times, A-P-P-Y-T-I-M-E-S. You can find it on iTunes, and he's got a long URL. Best of luck in 2011.
	So let's give Tim a bit of karma.
	Sure.
	You've got karma.
	Let me do this one because we've been mispronouncing his name consistently and I think we can do it properly.
	Also a member of the 5x1 club, the $111.11, is Pate Sneekes.
	That's how you pronounce it, John.
	Pate Sneekes.
	This is exactly what I was going to say.
	From Amsterdam, the Netherlands.
	He says he switched from a $50 a month donation to $111 a month to get to his knighthood faster.
	So he's going...
	Full on.
	He's actually going to do this as a monthly, which is so nice and so appreciated.
	Yeah.
	He wants to get to his knighthood, and he'd like us to mention ReadDiet.com, which is his no-agenda-inspired diet.
	Not an actual diet, just a way to be more aware of the crap you are eating.
	Okay.
	Nice.
	That is nice.
	Pate Sneakers.
	Pate.
	Thanks, Pate.
	Chris Crocker in Rockaway, New Jersey.
	Last member of the 5x1 Club.
	Merry Christmas.
	Good luck with not smoking.
	Crackpot.
	And to the Buzzkill, wake up to the chemtrail travesty.
	Enjoy the talking points memo.
	Hope this helps.
	Yeah, we'll get another talking points memo out as soon as we can.
	Julian Collins and Carl Shelton.
	Carl Shelton Surrey.
	UK, 7572, listening since episode one, first donation apart from 3x challenge coins, which I look forward to receiving.
	The donation represents one cent for each kilometer of Saudi Arabia's coastline.
	You know, that's an interesting numerology donation there.
	Yeah, that is odd.
	Stephen Howard, maybe it's code.
	Stephen Howard, Melbourne, Australia, $70.
	Kenneth Kielholz, one of our regulars, Hamilton, Ohio, $69.
	He just likes to hear that, I guess.
	Brandon Keer, Langley, B.C., British Columbia, 66.66.
	After a great year, I have a little karma to spare.
	Please forward some karma to Eric DeShill.
	Ah, he deserves that for sure.
	Here you go, Eric.
	You've got karma.
	Always happy to give some karma to Eric, who has worked very hard on getting all the coin stuff sorted out, and it's highly appreciated.
	Thomas Lee's Halifax West Yorkshire, UK, 5555.
	Merry Christmas.
	Please continue to expose the sovereignty-sucking socialists of the EU in their quest to take over Europe using the power of bureaucracy.
	And the power of the haiku.
	All those who listen without donating should stop being such wankers.
	Hmm.
	We have dui-help.com, Barry Wilson, Sir Barry Wilson, Sir Joshua Dale, Lee Donaghy, Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, United Kingdom, all $50.
	Lee's giving it because he's working over Christmas.
	Peter Tote, Sugar Land, Texas, $50.
	Tip Top Website, our pal Dan.
	Dan, Coco Beach, Florida.
	Merry Christmas, guys.
	Give it a good work.
	I know what I heard.
	You talk about Perth today.
	20 years ago, I used to be around the world as a party guest to extremely wealthy people.
	Fly around as a party guest.
	I'm sorry.
	I spent a month in Perth over the weekend.
	No, it's an old joke.
	I spent a month in Perth and the people there are amazing!
	Hey, how do I get a job as a...
	As a party guest for wealthy people.
	That sounds like a gig.
	We would be great at that, John.
	Don't you think?
	I think so.
	We could entertain for hours.
	Bring out the crackpot and buzzkill.
	Finally $50 from George Van Der Horst.
	Give me more wine.
	Katz Hovel.
	Katz Hovel.
	Holland.
	Yeah.
	George Van Der Horst.
	And Rory Stone warns us once again to check and see if your monthly donations are still registered with PayPal.
	They disappear and you get unsubscribed with alarming regularity.
	Okay, I forgot to mention two more checks that came in.
	I want to mention these guys.
	Professor Pete Zah contributed $100 in Princeton, New Jersey, and also John Tucker, $88.43, and he is from Omaha, home of Warren Buffett.
	He wants a special thanks for delivering the 10-10-10 coins.
	The coin is very impressive, and I'm glad I bought one.
	Unfortunately, the open source nature of the project fell through, but you guys showed class and came through for us.
	No agendas.
	To show my thanks, I've enclosed a check for $88.43.
	The amount represents $33.33 for the price of the coin.
	Since you didn't receive what you thought you would receive as a profit from the coin, I'm giving you 100% of the profit as a way of thanking you for keeping your word.
	The balance of 5510 is my second installment toward the No Agenda Knighthood as a CIS admin.
	So he's a computer guy.
	I want to thank them all for donating.
	And I want to thank C. Mike from Kansas City, Missouri.
	I miss him in our PR segment.
	Adam, the following domains have been registered and are pointing at NoAgendaShow.com www.aqusa.org www.aqusa.net And then he thinks the gift shop should go at aq-usa.com.
	So I think that's groovy.
	Yeah, well, we weren't on a list before, we are now.
	Oh, we're totally on a list, you know?
	I love it.
	So we do have one obligation to play the national anthem, and I think we should...
	Well, I'm very happy to do that.
	So, ladies and gentlemen, please rise.
	You know how it works.
	Ladies and gentlemen...
	National Anthem!
	Sing along!
	In the morning, Gitmo Nation We are all charged up to be Human resources and servants In all lands and all ships at sea From the east to west,
	down under to The lowlands and beyond We are happy and distracted slaves.
	Hear our Gitmo Nation song.
	You gotta do them all.
	There we go.
	We've been running short on the, uh, in the morning stink.
	A little bit.
	So, New Zealand.
	Wait, before you go there, I want to mention that people can help us out for the next show by going to Dvorak.org slash NA, channeldvorak.com slash NA, or the noagendashow.com site, and click on the donation buttons here or there.
	And maybe in the new year we should revisit once again why we've chosen for this model and how well it works, because the best part about it is you can fast forward.
	However, it turns out very few people do that.
	Now they just complain that we thank too many people.
	Yeah, thank you.
	We did two and a half hours on Thursday because we had extra donation went extra long.
	I think we put in the work.
	We get the information out there.
	We still do a two hour show no matter what.
	All we're trying to do is just help everyone think a little bit For themselves.
	And not just take everything the media says.
	However, this next report, I will completely swallow as true.
	Uh-oh.
	I know where this is.
	I already know what you're going to do.
	The New Zealand Defense Forces released 2,000 pages of files on UFOs dating back as far as the early 1950s.
	And there's some crazy-ass stuff in here.
	Actual drawings of the UFOs.
	It's great because now there's like a fake WikiLeaks cable that's floating around now as well talking about a UFO base south of New Zealand.
	Yeah, near Antarctica.
	Yeah.
	And by the way, that is a fake WikiLeaks cable.
	This is the problem.
	Which you predicted, by the way.
	I'm going to give you that one.
	It's so easy.
	I mean, we're going to get tons of these now.
	Yeah, fake WikiLeaks.
	Tons of these fake WikiLeaks things.
	It's very easy for disinformation.
	And where all of this leads towards is Project Bluebeam.
	I have completely changed my course, although I still believe that, you know, there's obviously the mothership is coming.
	Eventually it will arrive.
	But this is all part of Project Bluebeam.
	Please Google that.
	I'm thinking that it would be, you know, what hasn't happened yet is a really outstanding, and I think maybe we should do this, or somebody who listens to the show should do this, a really outstanding WikiLeaks hoax.
	I'm talking one that catches on.
	That really catches?
	We can do it.
	We can do it.
	We have to come up with a topic and something believable.
	So, what are people usually interested in?
	Royalty?
	I think we should come up with somebody had a sex change.
	No, that's...
	Somebody unexpected is actually a woman.
	No, that's not...
	It's not even funny.
	It is funny.
	No, it's not funny.
	If it was Obama, it would be funny.
	No, it's not funny.
	No, it's got to be something that...
	You're right.
	But first of all, why are we going to do this?
	Just to prove a point that we can?
	Well, April's coming up.
	Mm-hmm.
	I just think it'd be fun.
	I think there's going to be enough fake WikiLeaks reports out there that we're not going to have to do much.
	Unfortunately, no one ever comes out at the end and says, ha ha, just fooling.
	But if you go to George Washington University, they have something called the Electronic Briefing Books.
	And this is the National Security Archive electronic briefing books.
	I put this link in the show notes at noagendashow.com because this actually provides declassified records on issues including U.S. national security, foreign policy, diplomatic military history.
	They've got microfiche collections.
	If you really want some WikiLeaks...
	If you really want some information that is interesting, go to this site.
	It's more interesting than the WikiLeaks stuff.
	I swear to God.
	They've got...
	Just what are some of the headline stuff they've got here?
	Newly declassified documents disclose Carter administration's unsuccessful efforts to roll back Islamabad's secret nuclear program.
	It's the same thing as WikiLeaks.
	Cold War air defense relied upon why sped dispersal of nuclear weapons documents show just a department censors Nazi hunting story.
	I mean, it's better than WikiLeaks, and it's stuff that has just been obtained under Freedom of Information requests.
	At George Washington University.
	It's great stuff.
	Well, I'm going to start looking through it.
	You should.
	I thought you were going to go, instead of going in this direction, I thought you were going to talk about the space wars taking place outside of Antarctica.
	Well, that's what I, that's fake.
	This started over at Saoirse Fall wrote that.
	I mean, I follow this stuff.
	And then, who picks it up?
	The EU news.
	Yeah, so the EU, I know, it's a terrible article.
	Yeah, but they steal it from, what does it mean?
	Go to whatdoesitmean.com.
	I like the fact that you do segment these things, so you have the real UFO stories, as you see them, and the fake ones, which is this one.
	Which is quite funny, though.
	As a UFO aficionado, it's very important to be able to segregate the fake stuff.
	Now, that's not to say that the Nazis didn't actually have flying saucers on the South Pole at the end of the Second World War, because they did.
	They did have flying saucer technology.
	But this is part of the Project Blue Beam written by these disinformationists who are, I think, Russian-connected.
	It's bullcrap.
	However...
	Some stuff is real, just not this.
	This is not the real stuff.
	It's just not it.
	I can't believe you'd think I'd fall for that, John.
	I'm not saying anything.
	I never said you'd fall for it.
	I mean, you believe there's a Stargate in the Gulf of Aden.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	I like that.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's no problem.
	Thumbs up to that one.
	So, it's been three weeks now since Mickey and I stopped smoking.
	Very proud of that, not to dwell on it, but of course one of my motivating factors was the fact that our president, and it came out, John, three weeks ago I had a sound clip of Robert Gibbs being queried about the president smoking, and he was like, right?
	Yeah.
	Because the guy's still smoking.
	So, of course, I use this on the show.
	And you know, someone's got to be listening.
	And they said, oh man, we've got to get this guy off the smoking thing.
	We've got to put some information out there that he stopped smoking, even though he hasn't.
	Let's set this up, because there's chatter.
	There's chatter about the president smoking.
	So he gets asked a question in the Ministry of Truth briefing.
	The Surgeon General this morning told one of our correspondents when asked about the President's smoking habits, quote, he's working very hard to stop.
	He's been working very hard at it.
	So my question is, how hard has he been working at it?
	What's he doing?
	I have...
	Listen to all the stuttering.
	I have not seen or witnessed evidence of any smoking in probably nine months.
	What?
	How much of a lie is this?
	Three weeks ago he's saying the guy smokes, and now he's like, I have not witnessed any evidence of smoking for nine months.
	Is this unbelievable?
	I think if the guy's a smoker, he should just come out on the podium, Obama, and light one up and smoke it.
	You've got to listen to him.
	Because he's ashamed of himself.
	He could probably do more to stop people from smoking by saying, look, this is terrible, this stuff.
	I mean, one of the things that the president can do is he sets a sort of moral tone for the nation.
	If he could just say, look, this is the stupidest thing.
	Or say, hell, this is great.
	I love smoking because I get nervous in this job.
	And let everybody go back to smoking.
	I mean, it's just like, what's the point of this charade?
	Robert Gibbs actually touches on all of these points.
	You have to understand that now he starts off by lying, saying, well, I have not...
	He actually sticks his tongue out a couple times, which is always the sign of a liar.
	The snake.
	He sticks his tongue out.
	I have not seen any evidence.
	Like, the president has been smoke-free for nine months!
	We're so proud of him!
	No.
	I have not seen any evidence.
	He's been hiding the evidence from me?
	So not only is the president lying to his wife, to his kids, to everybody, but this guy is lying for him.
	And then he's going to continue on and just keep in the back of your mind everything he says about not smoking means the president is smoking and he talks about why he's smoking.
	Just listen to it.
	It's deplorable.
	Any smoking and probably...
	No, probably...
	Nine months.
	Do you know that he's working at it as he talks to you about it?
	Yes.
	What's he saying?
	He's, uh...
	Look.
	Look.
	Hear me out now.
	Look.
	Hey.
	Look.
	Look.
	This is not...
	I mean, I think you've heard him say this.
	This is, uh...
	This is not something that he's proud of.
	He knows that, uh...
	So he hasn't stopped, because otherwise he would be proud, wouldn't he, John?
	He's not.
	No evidence.
	Either he stopped smoking or he hasn't stopped smoking.
	And he's not proud of being a smoker.
	But Gibbs is saying, I haven't seen any evidence of him smoking in nine months.
	That means he hasn't seen an ashtray filled with butts.
	Thank you.
	It's not good for him.
	He knows that it's...
	He doesn't like it.
	He doesn't like children to know about it, obviously, including his.
	Children, a.k.a.
	those little people I have to speak to.
	I think he has worked extremely hard.
	Shut up your Blackberry.
	I think he would tell you even when in the midst of a tax agreement and a start deal and all the other things that accumulate, that even where he might have once found some comfort in that, he's...
	He's pushed it away.
	What a liar!
	What a lying sack!
	He had the start deal and he had the tax deal and all that and he's pushed it away.
	He's pushed it away.
	He's pushed the ashtrays under the couch.
	He's got some comfort in that.
	He's pushed it away.
	He understands everything.
	He understands its dangers, and I think his...
	Hey, Gibbs, why doesn't somebody ask this guy, hey, I don't want the president on edge, needing a smoke and pushing it away when he should be reading these documents and be relaxing a little bit.
	You know, smokers don't necessarily respond well, don't you think?
	What?!
	Besides you.
	What's the problem?
	You know what?
	I'm sorry, man.
	It's not easy, right?
	It's just not easy.
	It really is not easy.
	But you're not under the stress of the President of the United States.
	What kind of stress is that?
	Read the proctor?
	It's got to be a stressful job.
	People are throwing, making you sign things with many, many pens.
	Oh my god, there's so many pens.
	I need a smoke.
	Oh, the first lady's waiting for Bill Clinton has to speak because I have to go to the Christmas party.
	The first lady's waiting for me.
	I need a smoke.
	I have to read to these kids.
	Twas the night before Christmas, Saint Nick, a.k.a.
	Santa Claus, I need a smoke.
	A.k.a.
	I need a smoke.
	That's a classic.
	You gotta send me that clip.
	I wanna put it into the big clip show.
	I need a smoke.
	Come on, man.
	How hard is that?
	I could do that gig.
	I know I could.
	I know I could.
	All you could do is get a job.
	I need to smoke!
	It doesn't make you feel good to say that, though.
	I need to smoke.
	Funny.
	So, I got a clip on the CBS homegrown terrorism report.
	Oh, nice.
	Yes.
	Oh, I'm very interested in terrorism that happens in Das Hinterland.
	Wow, six minutes.
	Have we not played this?
	No, we didn't play it.
	We had it queued up, but we never played it.
	Well, should we listen to the home terror?
	I'm into some home terrorism.
	Yeah, we need to talk it up.
	With the holidays here, President Obama's top counterterrorism advisor tried to reassure the public today it is safe to travel.
	John Brennan said law enforcement...
	This is the guy who didn't know that they had arrested 12 people in London.
	Well, he knows it's safe to travel.
	And intelligence agencies are doing all they can to prevent a terror attack.
	More and more often, the seeds of terror are being planted right here.
	So tonight, we put homegrown terror in focus.
	It's the day after Thanksgiving in Portland, Oregon, and you have upwards of 10,000 people packed into the city's main square.
	So you have families, you have little kids, people are singing Christmas carols, but what they don't know is that someone actually planned to blow the event up.
	His goal is to either kill or injure every single person.
	Unbelievable.
	This is unbelievable how this is being reported.
	Isn't that great?
	The guy didn't plan to blow it up.
	The FBI said, hey, kid, dial this number and something will go boom.
	And by the way, they leveled two World Trade Center buildings and killed 3,500.
	This guy's going to kill 10,000 at a Christmas tree ceremony?
	I don't think so.
	With a van.
	With a van.
	Yeah.
	A covert FBI sting operation may have foiled the plot to bomb downtown Portland, but the fallout...
	It's unbelievable.
	Foiled a plot.
	No, they made the plot.
	They came up with the idea and told the kid, do you want to do it?
	This is unbelievable.
	And I knew this would get you.
	Oh, yeah.
	And unfortunately, the recording broke when they were setting the kid up for the first time.
	Yeah, well, you know, I had a malfunction.
	It's like Curry set up.
	Your shit doesn't work either, Curry.
	You know, you know how it is.
	You know, when the Mac crashes, well, that happened to us.
	From last month's attempt reveals an emerging terrorist threat, homegrown in the U.S. Yeah, homegrown and fed by the FBI. This is a 19-year-old American teenager, and at some point he basically became radicalized enough to want to blow up tens of thousands of people in what essentially was his hometown.
	Since September 11th, 58 Americans and foreigners living here legally have been implicated in plots against the U.S. They've tried to carry out 11 acts this year alone.
	Individuals prepared to carry out terrorist acts are in this country.
	Al-Qaeda today is much more sophisticated than what the general American population thinks.
	They think about Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan with turbans and AK-47s and Kalashnikovs on their shoulders.
	Nothing has spread Al-Qaeda's reach like the internet with its vast network of websites targeting disaffected Muslims.
	Hey, John, where are these vast networks of websites that they never link to and I can never find?
	They're out there.
	They're vast and they're out there on the interlinks.
	They're vast!
	They're vast.
	It's vast.
	It's chilling and vast.
	What was once taught at a training camp can now be learned online.
	It's tough to find somebody that is working maybe out of their basement in Kansas or Missouri and self-radicalizing.
	It wasn't that long ago that when there was a terrorist attack, Hold on.
	Self-radicalizing?
	Oh, I'm glad you caught that one.
	Self-radicalizing?
	Yeah.
	What is that?
	Is that like...
	That means you're just a normal person.
	You're walking down the street.
	And then you go on the internets and you watch one of these videos and the next thing you go, wow!
	Oh no, this is awesome!
	I have to radicalize myself because this is bad what's going on, what they're telling me, what these goofballs are telling me, if you can even find one of these sites.
	And so you become a homegrown...
	Home-grown terrorist.
	Wow.
	This is, again, like I bitched about in the last show, this is our government turning Americans against Americans.
	That's all this is.
	And this is something that people should be concerned about.
	No, no, no, no.
	This is Americans doing it to themselves.
	Sisters are doing it for themselves.
	We are self-radicalizing.
	It's kind of like terror masturbation.
	I gotta self-radicalize!
	You know, the term is interesting because it harks.
	It has like, it kind of has, you know, the word self-actualization is a hippy-dippy New Age term that came about.
	And self-actualization is like a good, so it's self-radical, you know, the self, you know, doing it for yourself kind of thing.
	It has some, it's catchy.
	I think it's a good.
	Yeah, it's an emancipation.
	I think it's a good term.
	I think it's a good catchy term.
	Self-radicalization?
	Yeah.
	I think it's a good term.
	I mean, it's bogus, and I don't think it's going on any more than self-actualization is going on.
	It's just, you know, total BS. It's funny.
	I love it.
	It works.
	It's a great term, yeah.
	Let's listen to the rest of this.
	This is really good.
	Oh, by the way, stop.
	Sorry.
	The one thing you don't get to see in the audio clip is that all the while they're showing this six-minute, which is almost the entire news show on CBS, they put up the words.
	So there'll be a black screen with self-radicalization.
	Oh, it's mind control.
	It's like PowerPoints.
	It's like PowerPoints on the show.
	On every point, they bring this up.
	Boom.
	And do they show pictures of guys in turbans?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, they got all the B-rolls all over the place.
	It's outrageous.
	I love this.
	CBS, right?
	CBS rocks.
	Something that was hatched by someone in a cave overseas.
	Now, often we're talking about people from Connecticut.
	Well, earlier plots were like...
	Wait, Connecticut?
	That's that one guy from Connecticut, the guy who tried to blow up his van in Times Square was from Connecticut, so now they're making everybody in Connecticut's a potential terrorist.
	He wasn't from Connecticut.
	He was from, like, Yemen, wasn't he?
	No, he lived in Connecticut.
	He was a stockbroker or something.
	He was a goofball guy who lived in Connecticut.
	Self-radicalized Connecticutian.
	Yep.
	Yep, yeah.
	You can count on them every single time.
	On sleeper cells, American terrorists are increasingly acting as lone wolves who can easily blend in.
	Another good one.
	A lone wolf that can blend in.
	Nice.
	Can't be stopped.
	Nice.
	I'm blending in.
	No one can see me.
	The terror is amongst you.
	It is invisible, be afraid.
	You sit down and you talk to counter-terrorism folks, and the one thing they fear the most is a terrorist with what they call a golden passport, a U.S. passport.
	A perfect example, Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad.
	What makes it difficult in tracking Shehzad, he was just an average guy with a family in Connecticut.
	And what makes it more difficult for a guy like him is he's free to go around looking for targets.
	In 9-11, the focus, the goal was massive casualties.
	What we're seeing now are these smaller, more frequent attacks on so-called soft targets, theaters, stadiums, restaurants.
	Oh yeah, didn't I read somewhere that the government is now warning us that Al-Qaeda, AQ'd to the U.S. to the A, that they're going to be poisoning buffet?
	No, it didn't catch any legs, right?
	It didn't catch any legs.
	Let me mention something else.
	The little line in there that was disconcerting to me was, the American citizens...
	They're talking about this guy, but they're essentially talking about all Americans.
	That means you, means me.
	And in a disparaging way with this specific line, free to look for targets.
	Yeah, let's just roll that back.
	I do want to hear that.
	In other words, you're free.
	Once you're self-radicalized, you're free to roam around looking for targets.
	Yeah, this is my hobby.
	This is like nobody should be free in that regard then.
	Yeah, it's my hobby.
	Here we go.
	...is much more sophisticated than what the general American population thinks.
	They think about al-Qaeda in Afghanistan with turbans and AK-47s or Kalashnikovs on their shoulders.
	Right.
	We already got all this.
	Nothing has spread al-Qaeda's reach like the internet with its vast network of websites targeting disaffected Muslims.
	The left.
	What was once taught at a training camp can now be...
	What is that in the background?
	Is that the guys talking in the cave?
	Yeah.
	It was some YouTube video.
	That makes it sound authentic though, doesn't it?
	Oh my God, they're radicalizing as we speak.
	Look at them, honey.
	That's radicalization going on in the cave.
	We learned online.
	It's tough to find somebody that is working maybe out of their basement in Kansas or Missouri.
	Kansas.
	Notice Kansas.
	Kansas.
	Kansas or Missouri.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	No, there's a reason they're saying that.
	There's a reason for that.
	And self-radicalizing.
	It wasn't...
	Oh, I hear the tapping on the keyboard.
	That sounds like you, John, hitting the keyboard.
	You're self-radicalizing in your basement there.
	That long ago, when there was a terrorist attack, we were talking about something that was hatched by someone in a cave overseas.
	Now, often we're talking about people from Connecticut.
	While earlier plots relied on sleeper cells, American terrorists are increasingly acting as lone wolves who can easily blend in.
	You sit down and you talk to counter-terrorism folks and the one thing they fear the most is a terrorist with what they call a golden passport, a U.S. passport.
	A perfect example, Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad.
	What makes it difficult in tracking Shehzad, he was just an average guy with a family in Connecticut.
	And what makes it more difficult for a guy like him is he's free to go around looking for targets.
	In 9-11, the focus, the goal was massive casualties.
	What we're seeing now are these smaller, more frequent attacks on so-called soft targets.
	Theaters, stadiums, restaurants, hotels.
	This death by a thousand cuts.
	Death by a thousand cuts.
	Yeah, that's a meme, by the way.
	I have seen and heard it a lot recently, and it's based on some Chinese proverb or something, or Japanese.
	And it's starting to crop up a lot.
	They're using that as the rationale for cracking down on basic freedoms, essentially.
	Death by a thousand cuts.
	Self-radicalize today.
	Many of the suspects picked up in American terror plots have seemed to even embrace American culture before becoming radicalized.
	When you look at the picture of Shahzad in Times Square with his friends, it's a photo that a lot of Americans have in their own homes.
	It's a photo of them as a tourist with their friends.
	How did that person, who looks like anyone I know, how did they wind up putting a bomb in a car in Times Square?
	In 2001, there were just over 3,000 local, state, and federal organizations working in counter-terrorism.
	Today, there are more than 4,000 across the country.
	Most agree they've been successful in keeping terrorists from coming into the country, but recent plots have exposed weakness in the system.
	The luck that we've had so far is that some of these homegrown terrorists are not very professional.
	No.
	No, we're lucky, John.
	They're not professional.
	I've never felt more lucky.
	Whether it's leaving the key in the car, whether the car starts smoking, and not even building a functioning bomb.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, I thought we were supposed to be afraid.
	I don't get it now.
	That was basically luck.
	People talk about homegrown terror as if it's something that...
	There's that luck meme.
	Did you catch it?
	Yeah, not you mentioned.
	I haven't noticed it as a meme.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You're just lucky.
	You were lucky.
	We were lucky.
	Yeah, we're lucky.
	Just lucky.
	Might happen someday.
	It wasn't called a terror attack at the time, but the attack on Fort Hood was a terrorist attack.
	You know, it wouldn't be like...
	Out of the question to give us a little more info on Fort Hood?
	Like, let us...
	Like, whatever...
	Like, what happened?
	You know, another thing that's left out of this report, the thing that...
	Remember this one?
	Jihad Jane?
	Oh, yeah.
	She's...
	Where is she?
	What the hell happened to her?
	She was in Ireland, right?
	And they shut down the whole country.
	Well, she was pulling around Jihad Jane and her buddy.
	Well, that was the start, John.
	This is when that started.
	We followed all of this.
	Yeah, we deconstructed it as a complete scam.
	And now, of course, it's off the radar and it never gets brought up again.
	Well, that one didn't go that well.
	Let's try this.
	Carried out by an American.
	Tonight we're learning more about Major Nadal Malik Hassan.
	He gave lectures where he stated that the U.S. war on terror was a war on Islam.
	That should have been a flag.
	The ability to identify homegrown terrorists before they strike requires tips from the public, monitoring internet chatter, and the...
	Chatter!
	John, I think we should change the name of this show to the No Agenda Chatter Show.
	This is chatter.
	What is the definition of chatter?
	Chatter.
	Chatter.
	We've got chatter on the interwebs.
	...use of government informants.
	They are not always the most savory characters.
	And in many cases, they're paid for this.
	But they are sounding the part of a terrorist.
	They look the part of the terrorist.
	And the subjects are buying it hook, line, and sinker.
	Sting operations have become one of the most effective tools in thwarting these plots.
	In these wiretap conversations, you hear the undercover operative or the agent say, are you sure you want to go through this?
	You know, you don't have to do that.
	You can back out.
	U.S. intelligence has spent the last...
	You mean the FBI guys say that?
	Yes, supposedly.
	You don't have to do this.
	I mean, seriously.
	Ahab, you do not have to do this, you know.
	Muhammad.
	You can chicken out if you want to.
	Anytime you want.
	Yeah, you can be a pansy and a pussy if you want to.
	Unfortunately, we couldn't record it because our recorder broke.
	Ten years trying to protect Americans from an external threat.
	But in the next decade, they'll spend just as much effort combating terrorists within our own borders.
	It's becoming fun.
	It's becoming adventurous to join jihad.
	And this is one of the challenges that law enforcement is trying to face.
	The crock of crap this woman has to deliver.
	Who is she?
	Who is she?
	I don't know.
	I mean, she's just another one of the bogus, you know, spokesholes that shows up.
	It is becoming adventuresome and fun, she says, to become a jihadist in the United States.
	Oh, really?
	It's the new thing.
	All the kids are doing it.
	All the kids are doing it because they want to be locked up in Gitmo and waterboarded because there's nothing more thrilling.
	This is bullcrap.
	And you can find all the stories in our In Focus series on our website.
	Just go to cbsnews.com.
	Thank you very much, Katie.
	You know where all this starts, this radicalization?
	So lively and quick.
	I knew in a moment it must be...
	St.
	Nick!
	A.K.A. Santa Claus.
	That's right, kids.
	Get used to it now.
	A.K.A. A.K.A. Because no one's real name is the real name, kids.
	Not even Santa Claus.
	He's an A.K.A. Just so you know.
	Unbelievable.
	Yeah, that's depressing, John.
	And they chew up the entire news.
	There's a half-hour show.
	This is like six or seven minutes, and it's only a 20-minute show because, you know, people out there always have to remember that on TV, you get two minutes of content for every one minute of commercials, which we don't do on this show, Dvorak.org slash NA. You get a split second.
	So they took up like half the show, essentially, to do this.
	Six minutes, yeah, that is quite a bit.
	Six minutes is the third, almost the third of the show.
	Quite a bit.
	The rest of it's intros and outros.
	Yeah, 30%, definitely.
	Well, yeah, they're all compromised.
	But it's crazy, because I remember we listened to this, some of it, last week after the show.
	Didn't we play a little bit of this amongst ourselves during our meeting?
	Yeah, a little bit.
	Our meeting.
	Our meeting.
	But you hear it again, and there's all these little messages.
	All these little memes, these little things just crop up, and it's totally mind-controlling people.
	It's a hopeless situation.
	Well, it really is, because we're somewhere stuck in between Orwell's 1984 and Huxley's A Brave New World.
	It's like a perfect storm.
	We're amusing ourselves to death with idiocy, with stupid entertainment.
	I mean, completely dumb.
	And at the same time, Big Brother is just building up the entire infrastructure.
	It's not good.
	But what freaked me out is on Thursday's show, you actually said, you know, never in all my life have I ever seen anything this bad.
	This is really, really, really wrong.
	Yeah, it's pretty bad.
	Although I have to say, I did qualify by saying I think during the 50s when they had the anti-communist craziness, where there's a communist under every bed...
	I think it must have been pretty bad then, too.
	And I think people were turning their neighbors in and things similar.
	But I still remember when I was a kid being told that the worst part about Cuba was the kids turning in their parents to the Communist Party.
	And people turning against their neighbors and turning them in because they had a personal grudge.
	So they'd turn them in for something they didn't do.
	And then the police would come in and arrest them.
	You know, I mean, that's essentially where we're headed here with Janet.
	Lucy.
	Lucy.
	Yeah, and then you get...
	Merry Christmas, everybody!
	What happened in...
	something happened in Minneapolis.
	What was that in Minneapolis?
	There was something that happened in Minneapolis.
	It snowed in, I think.
	There was something crazy happening.
	Besides the roof caving in on their stadium.
	There was something else that happened in Minneapolis.
	Oh, they arrested.
	Oh, I know what it is.
	So there's these people who work for peace movements.
	You know, like Rock Against the Afghani War.
	Oh yeah, we're getting a lot of links to these.
	Apparently, people who are now...
	If you're an active...
	By the way, what's funny about this, and ironic in my opinion, is that, and I mentioned this on the last show, which is that Obama is worse than Bush when it comes to Trump.
	I mean, they come in, you know, these liberal Democrats, and you expect they're going to end the war, they're going to...
	Get rid of that Patriot Act, which is very questionable.
	And instead, they upped the ante.
	They make the war go on worse, especially the Afghanistan-y one.
	They want to attack Pakistan.
	They're using those predators to blow people off the face of the earth at will.
	And the Patriot Act is upped, and they give Napolitano more...
	We developed this Homeland Security Department that's bigger than the military.
	I mean, the whole thing, it's like going in the wrong direction.
	And so now...
	Activists, as was shown in the Minnesota situation, anyone who's like protesting the war, protests anything, it's worse than those free speech zones that the Bushians put together.
	The Democrats are now arresting them as terrorists.
	Yeah, and what I found coincidental is it happens in Minneapolis, which is exactly where the Lucy Napolitano, see something, say something kicked off, at the Mall of America.
	It wasn't just at Walmart.
	It was at Mall of America, which is in Minneapolis.
	And then all of a sudden they raid nine or ten people's homes, confiscate computers under the...
	What was the exact line here?
	But it was like they were aiding and abetting terrorist organizations.
	Now I will say that there's something that's not being portrayed by Democracy Now!
	who is all over this story, is...
	These people have been to Palestine, have been working with Hezbollah.
	It's like, okay, those are definitely deemed terrorist organizations.
	It's not like they're just writing up some signs in their home.
	Yeah.
	Well, I mean, there is that element.
	I mean, it's possible.
	But it seems to me just to be a testing ground.
	Yes.
	I'm telling you, it's going to be this.
	It's going to be the...
	They're going to keep...
	Let's face it.
	This has not been backed off.
	No one has been turning down the volume on this stuff.
	And sure, you've got a nice rationale.
	You've got a bunch of complainers.
	I mean, Berkeley's filled with these pro-Palestine.
	We hate Israel.
	We hate Jews.
	People roaming around.
	A lot of them are from Palestine.
	And they could easily be targeted and thrown in the slammer for being related somehow to the terrorists because...
	Many of them, you know, are associated with the Hezbollah or the Hamas groups.
	Right.
	And the fact of the matter is there are websites that are Hamas and Hezbollah websites they could shut down.
	They're not doing that.
	I mean, it just seems selective to me.
	I don't know that they're doing anything other than protesting and complaining and doing what these people normally do, bellyache.
	So I question the motives.
	Some earthquake-related news.
	Thank you.
	There was a Christmas quake, not far from our president, I guess, actually, in the South Pacific, the South Pacific island Vanuatu.
	Have you ever heard of Vanuatu?
	No, I never have.
	They had a 7.3.
	Of course, no news outlet ever again says on what scale that is.
	Yeah, this scale thing is bugging me.
	It's on the Richter scale or...
	No, it's this new scale and nobody knows what it means.
	Well, 7.3 I think is literally when paintings fall off the wall.
	I'd rather go back to the Richter scale.
	I have a sense of it.
	The days were good when we had the Richter scale, dammit.
	I know what it means.
	I don't know what this other thing means.
	It's just some linear scale.
	I have no clue.
	Is there a 50?
	I don't know.
	Is it 7 out of 100?
	I don't have any idea.
	So we've never heard of this place.
	It's in the South Pacific.
	The Christmas 7.3 magnitude quake hit the...
	What does it say?
	The least developing country.
	What's the name of this?
	Spell me the name of that island.
	Victor Alpha November Uniform Alpha Tango Uniform.
	Vanuatu.
	So it struck just after midnight December 25th, about 140 miles south of the capital, Port Vila, and the quake was unusually shallow, only 15 miles beneath the ocean floor.
	Now, the crazy thing is, though, Just weeks before this crazy earthquake, someone stole all of the seismic equipment from the island.
	That's an interesting coincidence.
	Stole all of it, and they actually cut through barbed wire and stuff.
	It wasn't like some kid walking in going, hey, look at this stuff.
	No, they actually set out to steal this equipment, including a solar panel, VLF receiving transmitting system, all cables.
	And the officials say, without these stations, the people of Vanuatu will no longer be able to get accurate information and timely warnings during events of earthquakes and tsunamis.
	On October 1st, vital equipment was stolen at one of the other two stations, the station's Clem Hill.
	So...
	They had a bunch of quakes in 2009, too.
	Apparently they have a lot of quakes.
	But why would someone steal all the equipment?
	I have no idea.
	I can't imagine why anyone would do that.
	But then the story goes into this whole environmental warfare thing, which is kind of interesting, and this is from The Examiner, and brings up all these different...
	I've spoken about these so many times.
	This is interesting.
	There's a piece on climate change global research.
	The possibility of climactic or environmental manipulations as part of a military agenda, while formally acknowledged by official government documents in the U.S. military, as I've told you on this show, has never been considered relevant to the climate debate.
	Interesting.
	Military analysts are mute on the subject, meteorologists are not investigating the matter, and environmentalists are strung on global warming in the Kyoto Protocol, written by...
	A guy in the climate change and global research document.
	Interesting.
	I don't know.
	You never know with these things.
	I found it interesting because it's not that far from where the president is.
	We've got...
	Where's the president?
	He's in Hawaii.
	Well, this is a long ways from there.
	This is over by Australia.
	Oh, I thought this was the South Pacific near the president.
	No, this is the South Pacific over in Micronesia, over the middle of nowhere.
	It's like, you know, it's like...
	Well, then, even worse, why are people stealing their stuff?
	Leave their stuff alone, people.
	This is an old French colony that is apparently an interesting tourist place.
	I've never heard of it, but I'm looking at the...
	You know, this is around...
	You can look it up on the Google, or the Wikipedia actually has a pretty good background on it.
	So it's a sketchy area that was, it's out in the middle of, it's just really, you know, it's more like we're on the Cook Islands than it is Hawaii.
	Oh, okay.
	My mistake.
	Meanwhile, we've got...
	It's like a cool place to go, though.
	That's the reason I keep scanning this page.
	John, you can't even make it down to Los Angeles to hang out with me for a day.
	Nice, long way.
	It's a long way.
	You're not going to go to the Cook Islands.
	I don't like traveling as much.
	I used to travel a lot.
	I've been everywhere, as people know, when I tell my old stories.
	But, you know, and after a while, it's like, what's the point?
	You know, you go there, you have a beer, you eat some of the local food, and you go, yeah, I did that, and then you leave.
	I mean, at some point, it's like...
	I'd rather do this show.
	It's funny you say that because that's kind of the way I feel.
	Yeah, it took me longer to get there than you, but I think you had more...
	I had more going for me.
	You had more going for it crapped out.
	I didn't have as much going for me when I crapped out.
	So, um, we could always check out Arkansas if we want some real earthquakes.
	They've been having a bonanza of earthquakes down there.
	Oh, they must be something.
	You know, I bet you have some fracking.
	It is.
	You want to hear the report?
	It is exactly that.
	It is from fracking.
	You want to hear it?
	The Arkansas people, you should stop this.
	Yeah, I want to hear it.
	Guy, Arkansas.
	Population around 500 very nervous people.
	Since mid-September, this part of Arkansas has experienced roughly 500 earthquakes.
	That's a lot of earthquakes.
	Way too many!
	500!
	Sharon and Carrie Strickland were home when one struck.
	There it is!
	You felt it!
	There it is!
	You felt it!
	You've got one!
	I smelled it!
	You dealt it!
	I felt it!
	That was it!
	Last year at this time, there had been only 39 earthquakes in the entire state.
	Slow days, we're having one to two, maybe three or four.
	Busier days, we can have up to eight or nine.
	My wife would like to buy earthquake insurance.
	I'm trying to talk her out of it.
	That was totally unnecessary to put into the piece.
	He's giving it to his wife.
	He says the earthquakes don't really bother people much.
	I love this guy.
	This guy knows exactly the magnitude.
	It's about a 2'7", maybe a 2'8".
	Yeah, I know.
	Gauge to a three-something.
	It'll rattle the windows, check a few pictures on the wall.
	It doesn't last but five, six, ten seconds.
	But people do wonder what's causing them.
	Here's one theory.
	Guys sit atop what's called the Fayetteville Shale, a huge field of natural gas buried beneath layers of rock.
	This is the Fayetteville Shale.
	As you can see, there's no gas that's going to come out of that, so you're going to have to hydraulically fracture rock to get gas out of it.
	The process of fracturing rock is called, naturally enough, fracking.
	There you go.
	So they figured it out that it's all because of fracking.
	Duh.
	Yeah.
	You go from 35 earthquakes in the history of the state to 500?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Stop it.
	Yeah.
	And in Gitmo Nation East, as I'm wrapping up my news here, they're trying it once again with the flu victims.
	The flu, the flu, you're going to die.
	You're going to die.
	Crazy story.
	460 flu victims fighting for life as experts admit 24 deaths from swine strain may be only just on the surface.
	Let me back up a second.
	I've asked this question before.
	I'm going to ask it again.
	How come every year they figure out what the flu is going to be?
	And it's always this combination of H's and N's and 1's and 2's and 3's.
	And they...
	The flu goes through the public, flies through, and then the next year they have three different flus, and the old flu doesn't return.
	How come this flu keeps returning?
	Yeah, in the same...
	Well, because this flu knows that the government has tons of vaccine for this flu and this flu only.
	So that's why it's like, hey, you know, that would really suck if I didn't come back as the same thing.
	I can't mutate.
	I've got to be the same flu.
	So we can get some press.
	Flu has a mind of its own, you see.
	Okay.
	I knew there was an explanation.
	Meanwhile, I got a...
	Remember the producer of ours who had a new human resource born on Saturday named Wednesday?
	Yeah.
	So they had a miscarriage.
	Not with Wednesday, but previous.
	And the producer said to me, he said, you know, that was when my wife had the flu vaccine and she miscarried.
	And then I hear you guys talking and find out that there's like a 700% increase in miscarried pregnancies with women who have received the flu vaccine.
	So they did not, even though the doctor kept saying, oh, you got to get the shot, you got to get the shot, did not have the shot, and Wednesday was born healthy.
	As far as...
	No, well, good for them.
	Yeah, so he actually was saying, hey, you guys saved a life here.
	Well, Wednesday can thank us later.
	Yeah.
	With a healthy donation.
	Alright.
	Man, you're bad.
	You got anything else?
	No, I think that's good.
	We'll liven things up a little bit.
	Hopefully my clip machine isn't trashed.
	Yeah.
	And it has some good clips.
	I did have a couple of interesting ones we could have run, but there's not...
	The Queen was probably the best, but...
	You know, go out and play.
	You should definitely get the Queen's speech for Thursday.
	And Thursday is, what is that, the 30th or the 31st?
	Is that the...
	What is that?
	What is Thursday?
	Well, let's take a look.
	Thursday is the 30th.
	30th, okay.
	So we will still speak with all of our human resources before the end of the year.
	And I'm sure something crazy will happen before...
	Something crazy happens every time we do this.
	It's just constant.
	Yeah.
	It's a bottomless pit of material.
	We don't even have to dig that deep to find stuff.
	I mean, it's ridiculous.
	But, you know, I'll go pick up some clips from Extra.
	Yeah, please.
	We need it.
	Extra, extra.
	Coming to you from Gitmo Nation West, home of AQ-USA.com.
	I am the former Soviet spy known as Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where I want to thank everybody who donated this week to the No Agenda show and hope that you continue supporting us.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We will talk to you again on Thursday, right here on No Agenda.

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