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Sept. 26, 2010 - No Agenda

02:12:23

238: Hawaii-Five-Blows

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	Flat-chested women in their 20s and 30s and 40s and 50s are kiddie porn.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Sunday, September 26, 2010.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation media assassination episode 238.
	This is no agenda.
	Preparing for the zombie invasion here at the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center in Gitmo Nation West.
	In the People's Republic of Southern California, in the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	Oh yeah, you try to get me, boy?
	I don't think so, sucker!
	You're in a funny mood today.
	I was right on the ball, wasn't I? You have new gear.
	Yeah, that's...
	I'm so happy.
	I have new gear.
	You knew about it.
	And you tried to nail me with it.
	And no!
	No!
	I love it.
	I didn't try to nail you with it.
	You totally tried.
	You tried to screw me over, man.
	So tell me what you got going there.
	These guys are all giddy.
	So now I have...
	I've minimized my set once again.
	So I no longer have external...
	You know that external MIDI control I have?
	That little six...
	The little box.
	Yeah, the little box.
	So now it's all on the iPad.
	And so including the jingles, including all the tracks, everything is all set up, and it's bound to screw up sometime during the show.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, in the morning to you, John, and all ships at sea.
	In the morning to all the slaves out there.
	No, we don't say that like that.
	In morning to all the human resources in the chat room at noagentachat.net, all charged up and ready to go the way your government loves you.
	That's how we say it.
	So I had a great experience Friday night.
	Threesome?
	No, that was Thursday night.
	Friday night, Mickey and Christina and I were invited to Universal Studios, the theme park here, which is just a stone's throw from the Crackpot Command Center, for the Igor Awards.
	And the iGore Awards honors actors and directors in the horror film genre, I-E-Y-E, iGore.
	Which, by the way, is a pretty poor award show.
	Whenever Corey Feldman is hosting something, you know it's going to kind of suck.
	But of course it was nice because our buddy Eli Roth received an award.
	But the cool thing was, and of course this is why these awards take place at that particular moment.
	Bye babe.
	Break a leg.
	This was the opening of Halloween Nights in the theme park.
	So the entire theme park is all Halloween based.
	And they have hundreds and hundreds of actors walking throughout the theme park.
	Although all kind of in different get-up.
	Pretty much all zombified.
	And they've got chainsaws and knives and weird shit.
	And they jump out at you.
	And then they have these mazes.
	And so you have the Chucky maze.
	You've got the Friday the 13th maze.
	You've got Rob Zombie created a maze.
	And what's really nice about it, it is...
	It's very low-tech.
	I mean, literally, it's like the stuff you might have built for Halloween at high school where you walk through corridors and then there's weird rooms with weird stuff going on, but then people jump out at you continuously, and it's real actors, except they're in complete get-up.
	Unbelievably amazing how much fun it was for a low-tech experience.
	However...
	Walking through Universal Studios, even though we had a guide and we didn't have to stand in line, like 45 minutes for each maze.
	Boy, is the American populace here zombified or what, dude?
	There's just thousands of people going, uh...
	Dude?
	Dude.
	That was really...
	You've been hanging out in Hollywood too much.
	Yeah.
	It was outrageous.
	They were all just complete zombies.
	Yes, I will walk here.
	Now I will stand in line.
	This is good.
	Oh, I got scared.
	That was the scariest part, was walking amongst regular people.
	Well, for you.
	That's the regular population down in Southern California.
	Yeah.
	But anyway, it once again solidified my belief that the zombies are coming.
	So, did you get this news story somebody sent out, I think, to both of us?
	Which I had to bring up right away, because it cracked me up when I saw it.
	Which was a report out of the Gitmo Nation UK, whatever we call it, about how flu shots lower the risk of heart attack.
	No, I didn't see this.
	Wait a minute.
	Oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
	Hi-am!
	Hi-am!
	Really?
	It lowers your risk of flu shot.
	If you have flu shot, you're going to live longer.
	Because you're not going to have a heart attack.
	You're not going to have a heart attack.
	Next, you're going to make sure you're more attractive to women.
	Why don't you just cut to the cheeks?
	That would be good, wouldn't it?
	Do you want to get laid?
	Take this flu shot.
	It works guaranteed.
	Wow.
	No, I didn't see that one.
	There's a lot of flu stories out there.
	We can almost re-invoke the swine flu minute.
	Yeah, I know.
	Well, you know, they still have all this leftover stuff.
	I think it must have a two-year shelf life.
	Yeah, I think they have like 160 million doses in the United States alone that they have to get rid of, and they're putting it into the regular flu vaccine.
	And I actually had a, somewhere I had a, I had a thing about that.
	Here it is.
	This is from, yeah, the single flu shot is getting the public leery.
	Really?
	I think the public is listening to this show and they're leery.
	Here it is.
	Yeah, Robert Parker, public information officer.
	That's a PIO. With the Virginia Department of Health promoted for the vaccine saying, remember that up to 160 million doses will be available nationally this year.
	And it has arrived and it's available earlier than usual.
	So now is a really good time to get vaccinated.
	That's the other thing that gets me.
	It's early.
	How did that happen?
	So, uh, while we're at, before we go to, uh, crediting our executive producers today, we might as well play, since we're talking about the flu shot, might as well play this clip, Low SVU Chip 1.
	Okie dokie, here we go.
	On your note, are you okay?
	I can't talk.
	She's listening.
	No, she's not.
	She's with Miss White.
	And you need to tell me what they're doing to you, because if you're in danger, I'll take you out of here.
	No matter where I go, she'll find me.
	Oh, Mackenzie, we're not going to let her.
	Now, you said in your note that they put something inside of you.
	What was it?
	A computer chip.
	Uh...
	Wait, is this a recent episode?
	This is the new season, first episode.
	First, right off the bat.
	They're straight into the chips.
	We go right into it.
	Mackenzie.
	It has all my information on it.
	It knows everywhere I go.
	That's how they found me yesterday.
	I can't hide.
	They didn't find you.
	We did.
	And there's no computer chip inside you.
	There is.
	There is.
	Look.
	Wait, let me guess.
	She got it from a flu shot?
	Is that how they injected it into her?
	Am I guessing?
	Am I guessing right?
	Yes and no.
	Okay.
	Looks like you got a shot.
	What?
	She's in the shot.
	That's how Dr.
	Zedot put it in.
	Look, there's nothing in your arm.
	They probably told you that so you would behave.
	No!
	Okay, I'm not lying.
	It's for real.
	Please just feel it.
	It's dying.
	What is that?
	I told you.
	A computer chip.
	Who produces this again?
	Is this a Dick Wolf production?
	Dick Wolf.
	Great.
	The guy has no shame.
	This is awesome.
	We'll get to the second half of that clip, but first let's do it.
	I just have to say, I kind of like the idea of they're just telling you that to make you behave.
	That's just as good, isn't it?
	Just to say that they're shooting a chip into you, even if they haven't, just to get you to behave.
	The entire show was extremely sinister.
	Fantastic.
	I mean, they took it way over the top.
	I mean, you know, these guys, they have to compete with these boneheads doing things like Hawaii 5-0.
	Oh, no, no.
	We'll get to that one later, please.
	Don't torture me with it.
	Yeah, I know.
	I see it.
	I see it sitting there.
	Let's first thank a few people.
	Okay, and yes, let's thank a few people, please.
	We only have to thank two, according to this.
	I know.
	I'm looking, I'm like, wow, shitty week.
	Did we suck on the last?
	We must have sucked on the last show.
	He must have stunk.
	We got one executive producer and one associate, and the executive producer from Eindhoven, Netherlands, is pronounced...
	I would say Tiesa Barrel, but this is not a Dutch name.
	No.
	Tiesa Barrel.
	Ties, apparently.
	Well, it's T-I-E-S-E. It's not Ties.
	Is it pronounced Ties?
	There's a pronunciation in there?
	That's your pronunciation guide for Adam.
	You would Ties in the Netherlands.
	John, good luck.
	Hmm.
	Ties.
	Oh, I get it.
	Oh, I get it.
	This is phonetic spelling for you.
	Got it.
	It's Ties.
	Ties.
	No, as you would...
	Hold on.
	Ties.
	Yeah, Ties.
	Jeez.
	Okay.
	Alright, Tice.
	Thank you very much, Tice.
	Gitmo Nation Lowlands.
	After listening for quite some time, I thought it would be time to stop being a douchebag and provide some value for value.
	I enjoyed the show very much.
	It's become part of my weekly routine.
	It should be a Twicely Weekly.
	Although there is a hole in my week on Tuesdays, it helps to keep me critical towards events.
	The reason I'm having trouble reading this is because I have to have the mic a little bit over here so it doesn't feed back.
	And the sun is blinding me.
	Oh, okay.
	The sun's hitting me in the head.
	I don't believe everything you guys say and inform Adam I'm a folder.
	What's that?
	You've been de-douched.
	For a long time on the Daily Source Code we had the scruncher folder issue.
	So he's a folder.
	Good, good.
	Isn't this Mitch Bedron who...
	Yes, yes, this is Mitch Bedron.
	Okay, we're recrediting him for executive producer because you misspelled his name on your...
	Yeah, I completely screwed that up.
	Absolutely.
	Mitch Bedron, this is not just a recredit.
	He sent another $200.
	Oh, he did?
	Yeah.
	Guys, Mitch Brown, really?
	I do understand that it's challenging dealing with the contributions you're getting, but perhaps it's time for a new system.
	For all I know, the karma that I was hoping for for my wife, Jill, is screwed up.
	Way to stick the knife in, Mitch.
	Also, one of your biggest claims that this is an official credit.
	Well, good for Mitch Brown, whoever the hell that is.
	By the way, that was only posted for about three or four hours.
	It wasn't all that bad.
	Because I caught it immediately.
	And it wasn't a matter of the system.
	It was just a matter of, I don't know why you put Brown down.
	I think it might have been an automatic spell checker thing or something.
	Because it makes no sense.
	Why would I do that?
	Because I'm reading along with the spreadsheet.
	But anyway...
	He did email me again, and he says, dude, quick apology, with the wife being sick, you know, his human resource has been sick for 18 months.
	He says, you know, I was just like, I was a little crazy.
	I didn't mean to fly off the handle there.
	I would have too.
	And actually, he says that her issue is severe headaches for 18 months.
	I'm thinking, you know, that maybe we could help or something.
	How about getting a different doctor?
	How about getting a different husband?
	Is this the excuse she's given you, Mitch?
	I got a severe headache?
	No, I think a different doctor, perhaps.
	And you might want to try medical marijuana.
	Seriously, it could be completely stress-related.
	They think it's a pinched nerve or something, but I can't believe that for 18 months you can't get a doctor to diagnose this thing.
	This is weird.
	Anyway, he also wanted to promote his company that is, I guess it's a small one-guy shop that he's starting up, Simbid.com, S-I-M-B-I-D, which is sysadmin stuff.
	Ooh.
	Okay.
	You have a lot of sysadmin guys.
	Well, yeah, they're the ones that are going to save us, and they're the ones that are switched on.
	They know what's going on in Gitmo.
	So I want to thank them both for supporting the show, and hopefully Mitch will have a turn of a lucky streak.
	Some good luck, yeah.
	We're certainly hoping for some karma.
	More ways than one.
	I got a couple of PR things.
	There's a brand new website, John, that is noagendacountdown.com, which is kind of cool.
	And what it does is if you take a look at it, it actually shows you the number of hours until the next show.
	Hours, minutes, seconds.
	So you can basically...
	This is for people who don't have an iPhone and the Pocket No Agenda iPhone app and get the bat signal.
	So you can basically just leave this open in a browser somewhere.
	And so the clock...
	It's beautifully done.
	Well, actually, you can't look at it now because it forwards to...
	You'll see it for a second.
	Because the idea is when the show then goes live, when it hits zero...
	Then that page refreshes automatically and brings up noagendastream.com.
	Kind of like a very low-tech alarm clock radio, if you will.
	But I thought it was nice.
	It was a pretty good little effort there.
	So you can find that at noagendacountdown.com.
	Then we have, let me see...
	It works.
	Yeah, I know it works.
	Our friend who did Vajazzling.com is back.
	And what's his name again?
	His name is James.
	So here's my latest creation.
	I did something like this back in 2005 and raised over $10,000 and got a mention in the Wall Street Journal.
	Not sure if it's going to happen again, but it's worth a shot.
	Let me know.
	He has set up NoAgendaWall.com.
	I didn't know that this was the guy who had done that back in the day.
	So there's a wall.
	It has 10,000 squares.
	And you can buy a square for $1.
	So if you want to put...
	I think I see a little Big App Show logo in there, which I think takes up four squares.
	And what else is here?
	TrainsGoodPlanesBad.com has taken up six squares.
	There's a little...
	Oh, Dvorak.org slash blog has one square, you cheapskate.
	So, yes, I guess there's like...
	Hey, just...
	It's cool, though, but what I like the most is the FAQ.
	What is this site about?
	The idea is simple, to raise $10,000 by selling 10,000 ad blocks for $1 each.
	Half of the money will be donated to Adam Curry and John C. Dvorak's No Agenda show, and half will go to me to run the site and buy hookers and blow.
	Seems like a reasonable split.
	I think it's very reasonable.
	It's James.
	I'm one of the many fans of No Agenda.
	Yeah, vajazzling.com.
	So it's cool.
	And it worked before, so who knows?
	It could work again.
	And I certainly appreciate that.
	And then I got...
	Remember we were talking about X Radio?
	Are we keeping all these links someplace?
	Yeah, they're all in the links that rock section of the show.
	And the newest links come in at the top.
	I've been doing that for, I don't know, two years?
	Thanks for checking it out.
	No, I check it out, but I always get the feeling there's a couple we leave out.
	No, no.
	If anything, we leave some of them in too long.
	Ones that have since perished.
	But I do purge it from time to time.
	No, we put it all in.
	Everything should be pretty current.
	If not, check it out.
	Let me know.
	Send me an email.
	Happy to fix it.
	Xradio.com is a, I guess, either a low-powered FM or a pirate station.
	I'm hoping the latter.
	And it broadcasts in the Lake LBJ area near Marble Falls, Texas in Texas Hill Country.
	And they have a promo running now for the show.
	Oh, good.
	Yeah, it's a little piece of us talking about the Clear Act.
	I'll just play the last 15 seconds so you can kind of hear how...
	It's an automated station which has a computerized voice.
	Why don't we just give them the whole country?
	Like we haven't?
	No agenda.
	9 a.m.
	until 11 a.m.
	Monday and Friday mornings on X Radio 91.1 FM. Cool.
	We need to be on more stations like that.
	I dig it.
	Hey, whatever happened to your robot voice you used to have on the stream?
	Well, Twitter became pretty unpredictable with how they do stuff, and I kind of gave up.
	I could try and re-invoke it because I really liked it, but also people were hacking.
	Basically, it would listen to tweets on a certain Twitter address.
	People would send in number strings that were 5,000 digits just to hear the voice struggle over speaking all the digits.
	Yeah.
	So there you go.
	There's the problem with dealing with the public.
	Yeah, I had to continue building filters and then it's like, yeah.
	I'm like, nah, I just got really, really tired of it.
	So I figured, screw it.
	Another good idea goes down the drain.
	Down the drain.
	Because of the kids out there who are vandals.
	Damn them kids.
	All right, Tice Burrell or Barrel or Bottle.
	It's probably that Tice Bottle.
	Hey, Tice, you're Tice, you're Bottle.
	That's how we'd say it in Amsterdam.
	You are this week's, or this episode's executive producer, episode 238 of the No Agenda Show, and Mitch Bedron, associate executive producer.
	Both of you now have an official credit.
	I guess, Mitch, you have two credits to your name now.
	Make sure you add that to your IMDB profile or certainly to your email signature.
	And we appreciate everyone who donates at dvorak.org slash...
	N.A., all the rest of you out there.
	Well, we've got a formula.
	We need you to go out.
	We need you to propagate it loud and proud.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Come on, everybody.
	Order!
	Say it loud and proud now.
	Shut up, Steve!
	Yay.
	All right.
	Thank you.
	So we can, uh, and yeah, Dvorak.org slash Jane, help us out.
	We didn't do that well this week.
	We'd appreciate it.
	No, we didn't.
	Because I guess we suck last week.
	Become a knight.
	That's my motto.
	Yeah, how are the rings?
	Have you spoken to Sir Paul Couture?
	No, I haven't.
	I'll send him an email because I think I have to send him some money so I can get the thing finished.
	Oh, hello.
	I mean, we've been saving money.
	No, no, but he hasn't told me.
	He hasn't given me a solid number.
	I can't just send him, you know, a blank check.
	We don't even have knighthoods today, do we?
	No.
	Okay.
	Well, great.
	I guess you really sucked on the last show.
	I'll play the second part of that clip.
	Oh, the SUV clip?
	The little girl's gotten a shot, and she's got a computer chip in her, and she's freaked.
	Okay, here we go.
	So now they take...
	I'm sorry, they take the little girl to, you know, now you're bum bum and they go into some other place and now they're in a lab.
	Is that my cue?
	Yeah, that was.
	Okay.
	We're in the lab.
	Actually, it's an RFID chip.
	Radio Frequency Identification.
	Dick Wolf helping people actually understand the acronym.
	This is so good.
	Thanks, Dick.
	Dogs.
	It's the same basic technology.
	So the Burtons can track every single move their daughter makes.
	Not yet.
	In the future, chips will be equipped with GPS. But for now, they simply carry a 16-digit number unique to each client.
	So why would the Burtons freak their kid out now if they can't even put her under surveillance yet?
	To save her life.
	If she were ever in an accident, the hospital could scan the implant and retrieve valuable medical information.
	So could any third-rate hacker.
	Or Uncle Sam, for that matter.
	Belzer.
	Belzer plays the...
	The insane public skeptic.
	Yeah, I like it.
	And that's the way I think it plays out with the people who watch these shows, which is that there's a reasonable scientist in the lab wearing a reasonable outfit, explaining things reasonably, and then Belzer represents the crackpot fringe who throws these little nuggets in every once in a while, but it's like, eh, typical.
	Yeah, he looks like a kook.
	Who cares?
	Typical, typical kook.
	What private information can you put in these chips?
	The applications are unlimited.
	In the future, we'll be able to track children, the elderly, criminals, immigrants.
	Welcome to the new world order.
	Just so you know, nobody forced McKinsey into this.
	I don't do any implantations on children without their consent.
	How could you put that inside your child without her consent?
	I didn't.
	She wanted it.
	McKinsey?
	Is that true?
	I had to say I did.
	If I didn't, she'd never let me go outside again.
	Kiddo, you are not being punished.
	Sweetie.
	Honey, you know how much I worry about you.
	I just want to keep you safe.
	You don't even like me.
	You just want Ella back.
	Mackenzie!
	Mr.
	Burton, may I... Wow.
	It just gets worse.
	Wow.
	The show was a jaw-dropper.
	Oh my goodness.
	Of course, on the heels of kids actually being chipped, although not implanted, but at schools in California...
	Putting RFID tracking chips into the kids' backpacks and...
	Clothes.
	Yeah, clothes and taking their fingerprints to make sure they have the right lunch.
	I mean, this is getting wacky.
	The more subtle message was that this whole thing was about some missing girl, and then this girl was adopted, and she was made to look like the missing girl because the mom was, you know...
	It was nuts.
	Right.
	Well, no, this is the perfect reason to get your kid chipped, of course.
	Well, no, the real subtlety here, and this part that, if you really tell the story apart and take a look deeper, is that they did find the original daughter, who had been abducted, as somebody had suggested earlier, but the cops paid no attention to what the parents said.
	And then they found her ten years later, after she was forced into a marriage with some weird hillbilly at the age of ten, And kept, like, caged up, and then they finally found her at the end.
	Obviously, if she was chipped, this would have never happened.
	No, it would never have happened.
	Of course not.
	It's just preparing everybody mentally.
	That's what it's about.
	Well, the way they do it, though, it's really very unique.
	Not unique, but it's very subtle.
	I mean, you have the Belzer character, so nobody looks like you're just being brainwashing.
	It doesn't look like you're just sitting out there brainwashing the public.
	So you have the Belzer character.
	He's the only one, by the way, who does that.
	Once in a while, somebody else will say something, but it's rare.
	But the real underlying message is that this other girl who was finally found by a lot of hard police work would have been...
	It's just in the subconscious because it's never said.
	Nobody ever says it.
	They just have this one little section about the RFID chip and the scientists blabbering on about how many...
	Oh, there's all kinds of cool applications.
	Yeah, it's cool.
	It's definitely cool.
	And so when the story finishes, you have, I think, within the brain, you have kind of this mixed message insofar as how valuable RFID might be.
	Well, I kind of like the dog message the best because, of course, if your dog is chipped, then you're chipped.
	I mean, wherever your dog is, you're going to be unless you've taken one of those doggy hotels when you're out.
	But people, I think, usually take their dog along for most things.
	So you're already kind of chipped.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, so what else is new?
	So this guy has a dog that can go and get beer.
	And so every couple of weeks he gives the dog $2.
	And the dog goes and buys a six-pack for $2 and brings it back.
	And so one day he doesn't have the $2 in exact change, so he gives the dog a $20.
	And the dog goes out and he doesn't come back.
	And the guy goes out and he finds him humping a small little poodle who's got the 20 bucks in her mouth.
	And the guy says, what?
	You've never done this before?
	And the dog says, I've never had the money.
	Let me give you one.
	You really don't deserve it for that.
	I just happen to be rereading the Legaman books.
	Speaking of the demon drink, did you see this report on YouTube?
	It's from some local Fox station in Detroit where they camped out outside the GM plant.
	And they watched all the workers on their lunch break at 11.30 go to the mini-mart.
	They all get half-gallon bottles of beer.
	And they down these in the next 15 minutes.
	They're all drinking them in the park, smoking weed.
	And then they go back and finish our cars.
	Is that right?
	Yeah.
	No wonder the cars are crappy.
	I didn't get the whole...
	I mean, the whole clip is kind of stupid.
	I can certainly play a little bit of it if you want.
	So then the guy ambushes him.
	It's like these poor schmucks.
	They're on the assembly line 10 hours a day.
	Of course, if you're just tightening some bolts and stuff, you've got to get hammered.
	How else can you handle it?
	And then he's like, he's going to go follow them.
	He's like, hey, build any good cars today?
	Slaves?
	I'll let you listen to it a little bit here.
	Some Chrysler workers were using their lunch break to catch a buzz.
	So we started following them.
	Yeah, hold on.
	Five days after President Obama's visit.
	And caught them, day after day, hitting up the party store.
	Then hitting the public park to pound beers.
	Oh, and did I mention a little smoking?
	Hold on a second.
	Of course, now, I promised you it would get all screwed up.
	You didn't take me.
	Let's see, we're hungry.
	We're in 20 minutes into the show.
	Here we go.
	The day shift to Jefferson North starts at 6 a.m.
	At 11, there's a half-hour lunch break.
	The partiers have just enough time to head up to the liquor store, drive about a mile to the park, consume for 10 minutes, and get back to the plant in time to work the last three hours of their shifts.
	Oh.
	Tuesdays, September 14th, 1057 AM. Here comes our crew, out for break.
	Now at the party store, 1107.
	Hitting the coolers for some liquid refreshment.
	These guys are team players.
	Check out this handoff.
	He takes that quart of beer and adds a king can as he waits in the checkout line.
	This guy's got his hands full, too.
	Looks like he was buying one for his buddy in the minivan.
	They're literally drinking here with the bottles and paper bags in the park.
	Bash at 11-11.
	A minute later, here comes the big brew crew.
	These guys never miss the day we were watching.
	Last but not least, these guys show up at 11-15.
	They brought their Ray game.
	This dude takes a hit.
	Takes a swig.
	Another drag.
	Passing the doobie back and forth.
	Let me just go to the part where he busts him.
	That's the funniest.
	It's like, hey, hey, you build any good cars?
	Day after day.
	What plant was this?
	It's the, I don't know, Detroit.
	Let me see if it says...
	Hmm.
	I mean, what company are we talking about?
	GM? GM, yeah, GM. Today we went to the park during lunch.
	People were there partying.
	Finally, last Friday, we'd seen enough.
	Hey, guys.
	Hate to be a buzzkill, but shouldn't you guys be building cars?
	Buzzkill.
	Buzzkill.
	Don't you guys work out at the Chrysler factory?
	Chrysler.
	You know, the government spent a lot of money bailing you guys out, and you coming out here on your lunch break drinking like this?
	They're taking off.
	They all take off.
	Is it the funniest thing?
	Like, of course they're drinking.
	Nuts.
	What do you expect?
	I worked on an assembly line in a couple of different places.
	Yeah.
	So I got a clue and realized that you want to be an inspector.
	Yeah, much better than being a bolt tightener.
	It's boring.
	So I can see these guys getting hammered.
	But I don't remember ever being allowed to get off the facility when you had a break.
	It wasn't that you could go wandering around town.
	It doesn't make any sense.
	So talking about bad reporting, or good reporting in that case, or bad reporting in some way.
	So we're having hot weather here in this area.
	Yeah, so are we.
	We had 105 yesterday.
	Okay, well that's hot.
	Yeah.
	Uh, so there was a, so they have this woman on one of the local stations, who, uh, that's the NBC affiliate, who, uh, first of all, she's, and I don't want to say anything disparaging.
	But do you ever watch The Family Guy and this kind of faux reporter, Trisha Takenawa?
	Asian chick?
	Yeah, she's the Asian chick.
	I'm Trisha Takenawa, the Asian reporter.
	Yeah.
	And, well, I found out she has to be modeled after this woman who's been floating around.
	This woman is, she gave a report on a blackout in Castro Valley where the power went out for a few hours.
	Mm-hmm.
	As though this was a once-in-a-lifetime situation.
	This never happens.
	And she went from person to person, starting with a little kid in her interviews, who said, oh, the power went out.
	It was unbelievable.
	It got dark.
	And she is like breathless doing this whole thing as though this is a real news report.
	I have it on here.
	I want to play it.
	But the weird thing, every time I mention this, somebody always writes in, well, you know, you shouldn't be saying this.
	She's cross-eyed, okay?
	Let's just put it straight out there.
	Wait, she's Asian and cross-eyed?
	Two strikes.
	Not a little cross.
	Not like the, you know, not a little.
	I know who you're talking about.
	I have seen her.
	Yeah, well, she's in the Bay Area now, apparently.
	Anyway, it is...
	And we'll be able to hear that she's cross-eyed in this clip?
	I had to point it out.
	But you can hear what a stupid report this is, as though power going out is some horrible thing.
	But anyway, play, power goes out.
	Strow Valley, where the power is back on.
	Kimberly, take it away.
	Raj, this is normally what Castro Valley Boulevard looks like on a Saturday night.
	A fair amount of traffic moving easily, but a couple of hours ago, a very different story.
	Chaotic, to say the least, as drivers tried to navigate this busy stretch of road during the blackout.
	Lights are back on in Castro Valley after a power outage this evening that affected more than 34,000 residents.
	Not just here, but in Hayward as well.
	I was watching a movie in my room and then it just started to play and then it shut off completely.
	It was sort of creepy because later in the day it started to get like pitch black everywhere.
	A PG&E spokesperson says a heat-related equipment failure at their Castro Valley substation caused the blackout.
	It was a eerie feeling because I'm just...
	Is this the start of rolling blackouts?
	Is that what we're getting now, John?
	No, it was just a blackout because too many people had their air conditioners on.
	It blew something up.
	Whatever the case was, it was kind of like news.
	Like a big deal, this blackout.
	She's interviewing one person after another with comments like, yeah, it was weird because it was dark.
	I like the one where the kid is like, I was watching a movie and then it just stopped.
	What's up with that?
	These are the people who are at Universal Studios, okay?
	I'm telling you.
	These are the people that are walking around.
	It was one interview of one person on the street after another who were so stupid that they were befuddled by this situation.
	As if this doesn't happen once in a while.
	Well, the problem is that Pacific Gas and Electric didn't have time to put together the PR release so they could just, you know, like, fill in the blanks.
	And normally that's how news is created.
	I didn't have time for that.
	It shouldn't have been reported at all.
	I gotta go report now.
	Hold on a second, John.
	I think we should actually do this.
	And now, back to real news.
	So there is some real news that crosses over into our realm.
	The first one, of course, would be Lilo.
	Lindsay Lohan failing her drug test.
	And I think this is headed towards Gitmo Jewelry.
	Yeah?
	It already is?
	Well, no, I mean, so first of all, she put up like, what, $300,000 bail?
	Yeah, so she could get out.
	So she could get out, right.
	But do you know what drug she was doing, though, John?
	Do you know why she failed?
	Ah, this I do not know.
	Okay, well, there's pictures on the News of the World website and in their fine Sunday publication, pictures of Lindsay Lohan shooting up heroin.
	Really?
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Pictures of her shooting up heroin.
	And I might add, making out...
	That has not been promoted on this side of the ocean.
	Well, I'm promoting it here.
	And making out with Paris Hilton, I might add.
	Ooh.
	Oh, yeah.
	What's the website?
	Let me send you the link, my friend.
	Here it comes.
	Well, they're tongue kissing.
	It's hot.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's totally hot.
	Yeah.
	Look at it.
	They are intimate.
	They're very intimate.
	And she's got the syringe and she's, you know, tourniquet around her arm.
	Although I think she has it in the wrong place.
	It looks like it doesn't even...
	No, that's her.
	That's her.
	That's her for sure.
	Let me throw this into the chat room so they can enjoy it.
	These are the worst photos.
	Well, they're from a cell phone, clearly.
	And they come from x17online.com.
	That tells you what sell good cell phones.
	Oh, my camera's at 8 megapixels.
	Cell phone cameras suck.
	Well, these look sepia-ized, if you know what I mean.
	Looks like someone made them sepia or something.
	Or maybe it's just they did it without a flash.
	Yeah, you know, come to think of it, that blows.
	How come we don't have good pictures?
	I mean, everyone's got like five or eight megapixels these days.
	How come this sucks so bad?
	Hmm.
	Let's take a look at x17online.com.
	Have you looked at that yet?
	x17online.com.
	I know on heroin.
	Well, that would count for her inability to get off of it.
	Well, hell yeah, but this, of course, is kind of interesting because we know that the U.S. government is actually behind the heroin propagation.
	And so now that, you know, we go pick her up.
	And by the way, since when is it illegal to shoot up heroin?
	Is that actually illegal?
	Is that a federal crime?
	To shoot up heroin?
	I think possession is.
	Yeah, but they didn't catch her with possession.
	She failed the drug.
	She failed...
	Just like the chip.
	Just like the chip.
	Well, no, but it's...
	I mean, the whole thing is outrageous.
	X-17 was like a TMZ from...
	Yeah, TMZ. TMZ, I mean, from someplace else.
	Or maybe, is this a British TMZ? I don't know.
	I think they're only online, these guys.
	But they're good.
	It's funny how these stories break on these kind of obscure websites.
	So we have Mel Gibson, and that broke on RadarOnline.com, and now we have the Lindsay Lohan pictures, X17Online.com.
	Where are these guys getting the money to get these exclusives?
	Yeah, you tell me.
	But this is the question, right?
	Who's got all the money?
	Who's got all the money from dealing drugs?
	Thank you.
	So it's got to be the CIA. Someone has got to be funding these guys.
	By the way, you get good money for these photos.
	X-17 exclusive.
	Dina Lohan brought drinks to Lindsay's apartment the night before jail sentencing.
	I'm telling you, you can't just get this stuff.
	You can't afford it.
	The paparazzi would be able to sell it for a lot more money to other outfits.
	Crystal Palin's DWTS partner meets Mama Sarah.
	What's DWTS? Dancing with the Stars, my friend.
	Oh, Dancing with the Stars.
	We're looking at the wrong websites.
	You shouldn't be watching TMZ and E-Online.
	You need to be looking at these things, x17online.com.
	Hold on a second.
	Let me do a little look-up of this.
	Who the hell is behind this?
	This is crazy.
	Alex, really, I'm the Lindsay Lohan.
	She's like her personal publicist.
	Alexis Nyers on Lindsay Lohan.
	When you're making imbalanced choices, there's going to be repercussions, unquote.
	Okay.
	X17 Online.
	Care of Network Solutions.
	Oh, okay.
	So there's no...
	There's no...
	So they have a hidden registration.
	Somebody in the chat room can probably dig something up.
	They should, because this is such big business that I find it hard to believe that if you have pictures of Lindsay Lohan shooting up heroin, John, the first thing I do is I call you and I said, Bitch, we're rich!
	We're going all the way, baby!
	We'd be going to network news, and these guys go to x17online.com?
	That doesn't sound right.
	So anyway, it kind of gives more credence to the hypothesis that this is really just to show how the slaves need to be treated.
	Because, I mean, how fast does this go?
	She went from a DWI, boom!
	She's got a Gitmo Nation ankle bracelet jewelry on, and she's not allowed to drink, Which, you know, not allowed to drink and drive, I understand.
	Not allowed to drink?
	Okay, people are settling for that.
	You want to be a stupid slave and have the government tell you what you can put in your body in the privacy of your own home?
	Fine.
	And now it's heroin.
	Don't you think that's kind of weird?
	Things really slide fast for some people.
	Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense.
	A lot of people are saying, oh, she's going to wind up dead, she's going to commit suicide.
	I don't think so.
	I think she has to really become the poster child.
	I'm still waiting for the Vogue layout with her ankle bracelet on.
	Failed the drug test.
	Well, I agree.
	There's definitely a scenario at work here.
	I don't know that we...
	Fully understand what it might be.
	At some point, the way these scenarios work is that all the government stuff that they do to her, they throw her in jail, they put a bracelet on her, they do this, they do that, and then she comes out of it clean and becomes a spokesperson telling people that they should do this or not do that or whatever.
	I just want to see the heroin ankle bracelet.
	That's all I care about.
	I want to see that and then we'll know.
	Well, the whole thing could be a setup because maybe they've just developed one.
	I mean, the development of the braces that can tell that you've been drinking has got to be high-tech.
	Because it's got to be a contact sensor of some sort of memory.
	It's your perspiration.
	Perspiration.
	Yeah, but then it's got to have a small lab in there so it can determine that the perspiration's got whatever it's looking for.
	It's a little lab!
	It's a lab on a chip!
	So it's essentially a small micro-laboratory.
	And so to do that with heroin would be a huge breakthrough for these guys.
	I mean, maybe it's time to invest in this company.
	This BI, BI Incorporated out of Colorado.
	Yeah, they're private, I think.
	Oh.
	Anyway, so there was more interesting real news that I'd just like to call out, and it's very obvious why this one hit the airwaves.
	And this came through E! Online, or E! Entertainment Television.
	They're the ones that broke the story!
	Katy Perry and Elmo banned from the airwaves!
	Yeah, this is a lot of free publicity for Katy Perry.
	And how about for the new season of Sesame Street?
	Please!
	It's so obvious.
	Apparently, this video leaked onto YouTube.
	Yeah, right.
	Okay, so they put it on YouTube themselves.
	That's obvious.
	And then based upon the comments on YouTube, people were outraged at her jiggling boobs.
	This is inappropriate for Sesame Street.
	They weren't jiggling.
	They were sort of pumped up with one of those bustiers or something.
	They weren't pumped up.
	They looked like nice, healthy boobs.
	No, she was wearing an uplifting thing.
	You saw some cleavage.
	She's got a big top woman.
	No, but it was just nice boobs.
	I think it was weird that she was dressed as a bride.
	That was a little creepy.
	But come on, it's like, so?
	It's just weird.
	Just promoting Sesame Street.
	And Katy Perry.
	Did you see Michelle Obama on Sesame Street?
	You know, I might have.
	I have a clip of her appearance with Big Bird and...
	The vegetable crop or something like that.
	Well, look who's here to push your husband's socialist health care agenda.
	Or maybe you're here to finally show us your husband's United States birth certificate.
	Big Bird, I'm not.
	That's because you can't.
	Are you absolutely sure he wasn't born in Kenya?
	I'm sure, Big Bird.
	That's not what the basket bunch says.
	Yeah, your husband's a stinking liar.
	We're going to cut him out of office.
	No!
	I hadn't actually seen that from Saturday Night Live.
	I liked it.
	Who is playing who?
	I don't know.
	It looked like Michelle.
	It was an actual Sesame Street scene, except they just did the overdub on Big Bird and the vegetable bunch.
	I thought it was pretty funny.
	Yeah, it's kind of amusing.
	Anyway, so with that, we will close out Real News.
	And now, back to Real News.
	So, you wanted to talk about Hawaii Five-0.
	Yes, I have...
	Before you do, I do have a clip.
	I don't really want to talk about it, but you said it really, really sucks, so I haven't watched any of this new season, okay, if you don't mind.
	I'm too busy watching C-SPAN. Yeah, well, there's not that much on C-SPAN. This is the kind of acting.
	By the way, Hawaii Five-0 also employs jiggle cam, so you get sick watching the show, literally.
	You get sick to your stomach.
	The camera's never still for more than a split second.
	They're moving it left and right and up and down, and they're wiggling it, and they're going down and up and under.
	And it's dark.
	I don't know if anyone out there has been to Hawaii.
	Hawaii is a bright, bright place.
	The sun shines down at an angle that makes the place extremely well lit.
	You'd think you were living in New Jersey in the winter.
	It's so dark in this show.
	But anyway, here's the kind of fine acting.
	They have a guy, they want to recruit him back to the police force.
	He was thrown out for corruption.
	And these two clowns are going to bring him back in just based on his word.
	Did you take the money?
	No.
	They come with us.
	And we don't need to talk about this again.
	Ever.
	This is your ticket back into the game.
	Call it payback, call it whatever you want.
	I don't care, but I need you.
	How do you know you can trust him?
	Because my old man did.
	You know, I can't believe that you have, like, an argument with me over playing the full Stephen Colbert clip on C-SPAN for five minutes.
	You're like, oh, no, it's too long, which we can deconstruct.
	And you're making me listen to this crap.
	I'm tired of this crap.
	Here's another thing that bugs me about this show.
	You can barely hear these guys because this music is like amped way too high.
	It's just the worst show.
	Who cares?
	Why watch it?
	Stop!
	You know, I think we need an intervention on you, John.
	This is like the fourth week in a row where you're playing crap.
	Okay, go ahead with your little...
	Crap shows!
	...your Hawaii 5-0 complaint.
	I have no complaint, although I haven't watched it.
	I don't watch that.
	I'm not watching it.
	Your television is hypnotizing you.
	Do you understand this, John?
	Listen to me.
	What?
	It's that the frequencies from the television are making you go back and watch this stuff, and I bet you you're watching with at least one of your kids.
	No.
	That's even worse.
	Are you sitting in your underwear?
	I'm walking alone.
	I'm walking alone in my room.
	Do you have your hand in your pants when you're watching this?
	Are you just sitting there going...
	The fact of the matter was these idiots showed it again.
	Well, stop.
	And I was slipping through the channels and I just caught this out of the blue.
	The whole show is like this.
	You have to stop this, okay?
	One more clip.
	I got one more Y5-0 clip.
	No!
	No!
	I can't listen to it.
	Who cares?
	We're dying here, man.
	We can't listen to this shit.
	Alright, on to your next topic.
	Alright, let me go to Gitmo Nation East.
	A story today in the Daily Express.
	This is beautiful.
	Headline, front page.
	Tax cuts for good citizens.
	Oh yeah, this is where it's going.
	Council tax.
	That's kind of like municipality tax.
	Rebates coming for members of the public who become special constables is among a raft of incentives being considered by ministers preparing for the biggest shake-up of policing in decades.
	So now you can become...
	A fink.
	You can become a Nazi.
	You can become one of the party, and you will get tax breaks if you become a...
	A block Nazi.
	A block Nazi, exactly.
	Volunteers could see their council tax bills halved as a reward for helping police patrol the streets.
	I saw you put some recycling in the garbage can.
	I saw that.
	I saw you spit out gum.
	I saw you spit out some gum on the street.
	Wow.
	The specials, they're called.
	The specials.
	The special constables.
	That country is just exactly the way Orwell portrayed it in 1984.
	It's unbelievable to me that that public puts up with what they put up with.
	Well, it's obvious why.
	There's the fluoride in the water.
	They're chemtrailing all over the place.
	This is second half stuff.
	This fall.
	There's a lot of fluoride in the water in the UK, and there's no debate.
	People are completely anesthetized, and if they're not getting it through the water, they're drinking themselves into oblivion.
	That's what's happening there.
	Remember in the 70s, the thin white Englishman with a friggin' stick.
	And stones and smoke bombs and a bandana around their face.
	And they go out there and they burn crap down.
	And now the French are outdoing you.
	You should be ashamed of yourselves, you Gitmo East slaves.
	You've got to get out there and go kick some ass.
	These special constables, we had them on our square when we lived there.
	And they're total Nazis.
	They're dicks.
	They're total dicks.
	And they come over, you can't park there.
	I'm parked here for a minute.
	You can't park there.
	I'm calling the parking police.
	Yeah, we have those types of people here.
	Yeah, but they don't have badges.
	Yeah, they don't have badges.
	And this is even better.
	The UK's Tax Collection Agency, also known as what we would call the IRS, or they call Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs, HMRC. Please note the Her Majesty's.
	That woman is not just like some figurehead.
	She's taking your money.
	It's Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs Collection Agency.
	Have put forth a proposal.
	It's been out for a couple of weeks.
	We haven't talked about it.
	That all employers should send employees paychecks to the government first, after which the government will then deduct what it deems as the appropriate tax, and then will pay the employees by bank transfer.
	So instead of filing taxes and paying appropriately or having withheld by your company, no, no, no.
	We're going to do it differently.
	All companies send your money to the queen and she'll take a look at you, slave, and decide what should be taken out of your paycheck.
	That concept is actually being looked at seriously in this country.
	Duh!
	This is why we know that Gitmo Nation East is the model.
	We know it's the, along with the lowlands, it's the beta testing ground for everything that we're going to see.
	Who's flying that kite here in the States?
	I just overheard it on one of the shows.
	Really?
	Geez.
	We got our own problems here, though.
	The TSA out of control now.
	Well, you should listen to this report about this woman who has filed...
	Well, actually, I guess the ACLU, the American Civil Liberties Union, is filing a lawsuit on her behalf.
	And, of course, she's hot.
	I have to point this out.
	So we've got a hot CNN reporter with a hot soccer mom...
	Kind of milfy.
	And this would normally fall under the trains good, planes bad, but I just put it under Gitmo Nation because, well, that's what it is.
	Kathy Parker says her travel nightmare started with this wallet.
	They went through compartments.
	You know, they kind of look through like this.
	And in this compartment, I keep a lot of receipts.
	So they were actually pulling out receipts.
	Now, if this happened to me, if I saw that, I would be, Hey!
	Hey!
	Hey!
	Put that down right now!
	That's not your job!
	Put that down!
	And the problem here is she just went along with it.
	She went, It's kind of weird.
	They're pulling out my receipts.
	What do you think they were trying to nail her on, John?
	I have no idea.
	And...
	They're looking at them.
	They would open it all the way up.
	And that is when Parker says her trip through Philadelphia Airport Security went too far.
	It was very uncomfortable.
	It was embarrassing to have your personal things from inside your wallet.
	Receipts just laid out in the open and people looking.
	It was just a horrific experience.
	And that wasn't all.
	Parker was flying to Charlotte, North Carolina on business in August when she says Transportation Security Administration agents and local law enforcement detained her for an hour, questioning her, searching her personal items, even calling her husband to say she was suspected of embezzlement after finding $8,000 in checks in her wallet.
	What kind of embezzlement do you think it would be, John?
	I mean, these are TSA guys.
	They're like Dick Tracy.
	Well, you must be embezzling against the TSA. No, no, no.
	These guys are Sherlock Holmes, man.
	Listen to this.
	They told him that they detained me because they suspected it was a divorce situation and that I was emptying out our bank accounts.
	What?
	Like, that's illegal?
	What?
	What has the TSA got to do with this?
	I don't know.
	What is wrong with this country that they allow this sort of thing to continue?
	I don't know.
	My wife went up to Seattle on a plane the other day and she was detained for a half an hour because she wouldn't go through that stupid scam.
	Yeah!
	Yes!
	Good on you, Mimi!
	Good on you, Mimi!
	She almost missed her flight because they just had her standing there for a half an hour.
	They can't do that.
	She said, can I sit down?
	How come somebody can't frisk me?
	Oh, that's too bad.
	Really?
	You asked for this.
	You asked for the delay.
	She says, it's like punishment.
	And the guy says, yeah.
	So basically, they're punishing people for...
	Wait a minute.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	Wait a minute, John.
	Now, we've discussed this on the show.
	Didn't she have her printout that shows that it is an opt-out situation?
	No, it's fine.
	They said there's no problem, but she had to wait until the woman could pat her down because she wouldn't let a guy do it.
	She said, let a guy do it.
	I don't care.
	She said, no, no, no.
	no we have to have a woman and she's on her break oh really How come you didn't call me about this?
	What are you going to do?
	Get outraged.
	Well, here it is.
	Here's the story.
	Unreal.
	Screw this story.
	Mimi's story is a lot more interesting.
	So she opted out.
	Did they hassle her before they finally said, stand over here, slave?
	Why are you opting out?
	Why are you opting out?
	And so she came up with some reason to opt out.
	No, no.
	What was her reason?
	I want to know the reason.
	She said she was claustrophobic.
	Well, that's a dumb reason.
	You've got to say because...
	She wasn't thinking.
	She's going to come up with a better reason.
	I mean, if you don't...
	I got a million reasons.
	Yeah, well, what did you say?
	How about...
	Yeah, how about...
	Radiation, and you're going to die first, you shit!
	Yeah, well, anyway.
	But the guy said, okay, whatever.
	But still, the real hang-up was keeping her there for a half an hour, waiting so she could get patted down.
	I think hell with it.
	And by the way, a bunch of people got delayed in this thing because of the flight that she took.
	I helped book it, and the flight should have been full.
	She said there was at least...
	Ten empty seats, and it was all because they barely got, you know, she came late to the gate, and there were still people stuck back there because they were training people.
	Well, wait a minute.
	They acknowledged that it was punishment for an opt-out, correct?
	They acknowledged this.
	Essentially.
	Well, why didn't she get, like, some badge numbers or something?
	She's got a lawsuit here.
	Well, for what?
	Just to stir up some shit at least.
	Come on.
	This is the problem.
	You've got to stand up to these assholes.
	She did.
	She waited and waited and she got screwed.
	That's not standing up.
	That's being a slave.
	Until the legislative branch of this government does something, you can fight this all you want.
	You're going to just get screwed because the public at large doesn't give a crap.
	There's just some lone guy standing around looking like an idiot because nobody else cares.
	You can't do this as a single person.
	You have to.
	You have to start somewhere.
	We're just two guys.
	We're just two guys talking about this stuff.
	What if we say, well, we're just two guys.
	We can't do anything.
	Why even bother?
	No, I think the problem is we've got to get people.
	It has to be a movement.
	It can't be one person.
	If only one person in the entire country doesn't go through that thing, it's not going to work.
	You can sue them all you want.
	Yeah, maybe you get $15.
	Who's going to pay for the lawyer up front?
	We don't have any fees or funds for this.
	We have to start a website.
	You've got to go through a campaign.
	There's a lot of work involved.
	Starting a website is really hard.
	I agree.
	How about...
	Alright, no agenda producers out there.
	Let's start a website called MimiSaysScrewYouTSA.com No, how about a website called TSA Horror Stories and start collecting them so it doesn't look like a personal vendetta of one of the members of the show who's outraged because his wife was delayed a half an hour in the TSA line.
	Which you've been done a million times.
	How come you haven't sued them?
	Well, because they didn't say I was being punished.
	Well, I don't know that that's the exact word, and she doesn't have the guy's badge number, so there's nothing she can do.
	In fact, try to get anybody's badge numbers while you're floating through the TSA. They got the badge on their hip.
	It's impossible.
	Yeah, something's got to stop here.
	TSA horror stories?
	No, the fact of the matter is that this woman is having them rifling through her receipts, and you can't opt out of that stupid device, it's ridiculous.
	You can, you can.
	These guys are completely out of control, and the guys who run the TSA don't seem to give a crap.
	In fact, if I was in the TSA, I'd probably be arrogant and be lording it over everybody, too.
	It's so much fun.
	Ha ha ha!
	You would.
	You actually would be such a dickhead.
	I'm telling you, you would be that kind of guy.
	Hey!
	Hey!
	What are you doing?
	No, no, no.
	You can't cut underneath a rope.
	You can't just because there's nobody in line.
	Go through the whole thing.
	Walk back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.
	Hey!
	Give me that water, slave.
	That's water.
	Dispose all water.
	Dispose all water.
	No containers with more than 3.3 ounces are allowed.
	You're good at it.
	There's a guy in San Francisco going, no containers more than 3.3 ounces.
	If it says it has more than 3.3 ounces, I don't care if it's half full.
	It's still not allowed.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, there's a guy in San Francisco.
	He's barking at everybody.
	He says, if the container says 4 ounces and there's no ounces in it, it's still not allowed if it says 4 ounces.
	In other words, if you can bring in an empty container that says 4 ounces, he's going to make you throw it out.
	I gotta tell you that when they're barking like that, this is the thing I do.
	Put your laptop in the bin!
	Okay, sure, I will, sir!
	That's what I always do.
	And it freaks him out.
	You just gotta bark back at him.
	Yes, I will, sir!
	Yes, I will!
	Right now!
	I'm doing it right now!
	You can ask Mickey.
	I do that all the time.
	She will not go through before or after me.
	I don't blame her.
	She wants at least five people distance.
	I don't blame her.
	Well, it's also security for me.
	You're going to get clubbed.
	Don't tase me, man.
	Whatever you do.
	Wow.
	Speaking of ounces, and then we should get to our donations.
	Producer John Thompson.
	Hey, Adam, I run a small eBay store.
	I sold a book, packed it up, put stamps on the package, and took it to the post office on Tuesday.
	Today, I get my mail...
	And the post sent me my package back with this shut-up slave note.
	It was returned to me with a sticker saying that anything mailed with stamps that weighs over 13 ounces has to be paid for at the post office by an employee.
	And this, of course, is to protect our security.
	Did you know about this?
	Yeah, I did, as a matter of fact.
	Because it used to be, apparently, 16 ounces.
	Since the 90s, even.
	And then after 9-11, they change it to 13 ounces.
	Like you can't make a 12-ounce pipe bomb.
	I mean, what is this?
	You probably can't make a 12-ounce pipe bomb, but I think there's other kinds of bombs you can make that could be 12 ounces.
	Yeah?
	Do you have anything on your website?
	No.
	You sure?
	Not Dvorak.org slash pipe bomb under 12 ounces?
	Are you sure?
	I just want to make sure that Echelon gets it all.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You and the local block Nazi.
	Go check it out.
	Hey, hey!
	He's making pipe bombs and I think he's got kiddie porn on his computer.
	I think you should go check him.
	It's coming up.
	It's coming up, dude.
	You just watch.
	It's coming up.
	Well, they finally busted some guy who was planting kiddie porn.
	Yeah.
	Which just scares the crap out of everybody because it's like...
	This happened in Oakland in some situation where there's some onerous situation taking...
	Place with a school board and somebody planted some bogus kiddie porn on some executive's computer.
	Some psycho.
	And he had to resign.
	I mean, they never filed charges or anything, which seems unlikely.
	And what was he doing with...
	Because it was kind of weird the way it appeared.
	But that's like a great way to get rid of your boss.
	I think people out there should consider this.
	First, you've got to get the kiddie porn.
	But the fact of the matter is, I think anything is kiddie porn.
	I mean, they've made it so nudity is pornography, so anything...
	In fact, if you remember back before the digital era, there was a number of stories where the local block Nazis that were working at the photo finishing places in the drugstores around the country were supposed to...
	Look out for naked, you know, kiddie porn going through the system.
	And some poor schlub, like an idiot, took a picture of his little baby on a bearskin rug.
	A thing you're supposed to do with your kids just to keep so you can show it to them later.
	And they went through the system.
	Somebody turned a guy in.
	He got arrested for kiddie porn.
	Yeah, no, this happened recently, too, when some people took a vacation to one of the national parks and everyone was swimming around just naked, you know, and they took some pictures.
	But I think if you're still taking pictures with film and having it developed at the one hour photo, you're a shit and you deserve to be thrown in jail anyway.
	Get a digital camera, will you?
	I'm glad you're so liberal about that.
	But anyway, the point is that kiddie porn is now, you don't even know what it is because they don't show it.
	It's not when the guy goes to court that anybody gets to see what we're talking about.
	In Australia, flat-chested women is kiddie porn.
	Right.
	Flat-chested women in their 20s and 30s and 40s and 50s are kiddie porn.
	But this even happened in the early 90s with us in New Jersey.
	We had a picture of Christina with her butt sticking out of some cute outfit with her high heels on and Minnie Mouse ears, which is just too cute for words.
	And Patricia got a real talking to from the block Nazi at the one-hour photo.
	It's ridiculous.
	It is.
	Anyway, let's thank some of the people who support this show.
	Yes, let's do that.
	Let's begin with Christopher Ball from Steamwood.
	Illinois, $150 one-time donation.
	Thank you, John and Adam, for a great show.
	I listen on my commute, as many of the listeners do.
	We service the commuters.
	And in my long training sessions for Ironman Triathlon, swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and run 26.2 miles.
	It's been a while since I donated and felt it necessary, especially to call out two people!
	I turned on to the show long ago, and they've yet to donate.
	Trevor Buenzow from DeKalb, if it was in Georgia, Illinois, and Nathan Miller of Brownsburg, Indiana.
	You are both douchebags.
	Douchebags!
	Give him a second one.
	Okay.
	Douchebag!
	There you go.
	That's both to Trevor and Nathan.
	Oh, by the way, I'd just like to say, people, because we have a lot of new listeners to the show, apparently, coming in from all over Gitmo Nation, as we do seem to gain some traction.
	You don't get deduced just by saying, I want to be deduced.
	You don't get a douchebag call out if you haven't actually sent in any money.
	That's not how it works.
	Someone else can call you out as a douchebag who was actually a non-douchebag.
	And you also can't get a birthday shout-out if you're a douchebag.
	Please.
	That's our formula.
	Jeez.
	And we'll hit you in the mouth.
	uh Jonathan H. Miller of Brownsburg, Indiana, $110.20.
	John and Adam, in the morning, to a donation of 112-11020 as double nickels on the dime times two, hoping it makes up for two years of being a douchebag.
	I travel between Chicago and Indianapolis weekly, and no agenda comes in handy for those long commutes.
	Number two, please de-douche me.
	Douchebag!
	Sorry.
	You've been de-douched.
	You know, I can't believe that we're actually so against high-speed rail when that's where the audience lives.
	When you think about it.
	No, we want slow-speed rail.
	They can listen to it longer.
	Oh, man.
	Okay.
	I think many people listen in their cars.
	But yeah, I'm sure we have a lot of...
	But those people are already taking the train.
	High-speed rail is a fraud.
	It's not going to help.
	It's going to save in 10 minutes.
	There was a high-speed rail that's crazy, the X2000 or whatever it's called up in Sweden that runs from...
	Stockholm to Gothenburg.
	It's one of those leaning trains.
	If you stand up, you'll get sick as a dog.
	But it leans on the regular tracks.
	It's the high-speed rail of Sweden.
	They used to have this, apparently, very luxurious train with the dining cars and all the rest of it that used to go the same route.
	It's a long ways, but apparently the difference in time is like 20 minutes.
	When all is said and done with this expensive weird train.
	There's now a train from Moscow to Nice once a week?
	It only takes 52 hours.
	Moscow to Nice.
	There's the commuter's train.
	And check this out.
	It's 1,050 euros for a one-way ticket.
	Hey, EasyJet.
	Ever heard of it?
	Ruskies?
	From Russia.
	Anyway, Nathan also says he wants to...
	He says, my friend Chris from Streamwood...
	I called him out early in the show.
	There's no amount of de-douching that will help you.
	Oh yeah.
	You've been de-douched.
	That should help.
	Won't help.
	Stefano Scalia, Fremont, California.
	He'd like a de-douching and a douchebag call out to Matthew Evans.
	Okay, Matthew Evans.
	Douchebag!
	Then here's your de-douche.
	You've been de-douched.
	$69 from Stefano.
	Joe Murphy, Bella Vista, Arkansas, $56.78.
	Great to hear you mention David Suarez's books on the last Thursday show.
	Excellent book.
	I've not heard you mention Court...
	I think it should be Cory Doctorow.
	Cory Doctorow.
	Little brother, yeah.
	This is also one I must read.
	Anyway, spread that funky de-douching.
	Okay.
	Wait, he wants me to spread...
	Read it properly.
	He wants to spread the funky de-douching all over my face.
	No, he says that sweet funky de-douching.
	All right, here we go.
	You've been de-douched.
	But you smell bad.
	Okay, Michael Schultz, Palm Beach, Florida.
	All right, Palm Beach.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Just refer to me as Michael from Palm Beach.
	Okay, well, there we go again.
	There you go.
	Good job, John.
	I have a few dollars left after Matt.
	This is from last week.
	I don't remember this.
	I do.
	Ulrich Hansen from Denmark, it appears.
	Is that right?
	Ulrich Hansen.
	Yeah, Denmark.
	Denmark.
	From Copenhagen, as a matter of fact.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Please dedouche me.
	Pronunciation for my name is the U in U link in the short version of U in Fool.
	Ulrich.
	There we go.
	You've been dedouched.
	This is ridiculous.
	Murray Raw.
	Not everybody needs a dedouching.
	Murray Robb, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.
	Double it goes on a dime.
	John and I have been listening since show one.
	This is my first donation.
	Please de-douche me.
	I need an extra strong one.
	Turn it up two decibels.
	Also, Sun, September 26th is my wife.
	Michelle's birthday.
	We'll do that in a second.
	I'm not allowed to de-douche anymore?
	Is that what you're saying?
	No, no, you can de-douche.
	You've been de-douched.
	I'm just complaining.
	And then Nathan Rennick, who is double nickels on the dime, is at a birthday call-out.
	And then we've got Steve Quinton, London, Ontario.
	He was called out.
	Interesting.
	And so he's ordered his coin and he's making his donation.
	Please de-douche me.
	This one is deserved.
	And please call out Curtis Hiller as a douchebag.
	Curtis!
	Douchebag!
	And here's your de-douching, Steve.
	You've been de-douched.
	This is getting annoying.
	And Curtis is being called out as a douchebag for never donating, and also for being a Dallas Cowboys fan, so I'll second that.
	Yeah, that's a double de-douche.
	Douchebag!
	Patrick, and to the Dallas Cowboys.
	Yeah.
	Patrick Fusil, it looks like.
	Garfield, New Jersey, $50 in the morning as my donation.
	He needs karma for...
	He's also saying an extra $8 for you.
	I don't see the $8.
	Oh, $42 plus $8 for me because of the cranky geeks.
	Condolences, yeah.
	Unless zombies may be involved, please mention my Twitter at KissStory, C-K-I-S-S-T-O-R-Y.
	I need some followers.
	And PatrickFusil.WordPress.com, F-U-C-I-L-E. Clark Hunter, Reading, Pennsylvania, $50. Jacob Clemens, Waukesha, Wisconsin, $50.
	I have an idea.
	Why don't we take a playbook from the block Nazis and just do a group dedouching?
	Y'all get in the de-douche shower together or we just do one de-douching?
	I think this is just a short-term fad.
	Okay.
	We could try that.
	Lars Ink Wolin in Oslo, Norway.
	Heads up to Adam.
	He's a former Russian spy.
	Seems like Norwegian Secret Service is part of the program.
	Shut up, slave.
	And he's got some website you should check out.
	Again, I've seen this.
	This is the new Norwegian...
	Like, underground hilltop crackpot command center as the Russians move in.
	It's like, of course, they're in bed with the Russians.
	Yeah, definitely.
	Then we have Mark Beakers of Kingfisher Shores.
	I think it's Bokers.
	Yeah, he's challenging me.
	New South Wales, he's a Dutchman living in Down Under.
	I think it's Bokers.
	Okay, Bokers.
	And now say it with an N. With an N? Yes.
	Nurkers.
	No, it's Berkers, and now say it with an N. Just say it.
	Nurkers.
	Berkers with an N. Thanks, and forget about it.
	The Dutch people will appreciate what I was trying to do.
	Oh, there's a pun.
	Never mind.
	Oh, Nurkers, it means nuts or balls or something like that?
	Never mind.
	That's your humor.
	Yeah, that's my humor.
	Scott Serena, Cobb, California, $50.
	Happy birthday to my son, Elliot.
	We'll do that in a second.
	Introduce him to the show.
	He's a 15-year-old and now a loyal listener.
	Good.
	Show us an integral part of his education.
	Give him a no agenda.
	Happy birthday.
	And de-douche me as well.
	Oh, okay.
	You've been de-douched.
	It's your birthday, birthday!
	I'm telling you, we've got to move towards mass dedouching.
	It's just becoming outrageous.
	Happy birthday, Murray Robs' happy birthday to his wife, who is just apparently named wife.
	And it's her birthday today.
	Scott Serena for his son Elliot, 15, on 10-5-10.
	And Nathan Rennick turns 42 today.
	It's your birthday, yeah!
	People who want to donate can go to No Agenda.
	They want to.
	They should.
	People should go to NoAgendaShow.com, Dvorak.org, slash NA, or ChannelDvorak.com, slash NA, and support the show.
	This is the only reason we do this show.
	It's 100% listener-supported.
	We do not take donations other than from the listeners.
	We do not take donations from companies for advertising.
	We do not take underwriting.
	We do nothing.
	This is 100% listener-supported, unlike anything else in the country.
	It's a highway to poverty, looking at today's donations.
	Well, we had a lot of little ones.
	I want to thank everybody, by the way, for taking out a $5 subscription or a $33.33 subscription, which is even better.
	And I'd really like to say hi to all the commuters out there listening to the show.
	What I thought was interesting is that we have demographics that go from 10 to 70.
	It's amazing.
	Well, yeah, yeah.
	Here's a better idea, John.
	We have levels for executive producer and associate executive producer.
	I think we need a dedouching level.
	Hmm.
	You want to spin off the de-douching to a specific...
	Well, this is nuts.
	It was too many.
	It gets boring.
	I think it should be...
	Douches...
	Okay, here it is.
	Douches are $100.
	Whether you want a douche call-out or a de-douching, douches are $100.
	That should just be the level.
	Come on, let's be honest about it.
	And if it gets crazy, then we'll up the level again.
	It's ruining the donation segment.
	Yeah, there's too many.
	We have a new douche level.
	Come on.
	The douche level, the level of douching or de-douching is now $100.
	I think douche call-outs, now people can record this, this is the highlight of the show.
	Douche call-outs I don't think should be expensive because they do encourage people to get involved with the show.
	I think the de-douching probably, especially after a call-out, should cost you.
	That may be the $100 one.
	Okay, I'm good with that.
	We'll figure it out.
	Douchebag call-outs are okay.
	Here's what's going to happen.
	Everyone will have a douchebag call-out.
	We all have a douchebag friend around.
	Well, we'll have it worked out within the next few weeks.
	Yeah, what?
	What do you mean next few weeks?
	How hard is this?
	Let's have the meeting right now.
	How hard is it?
	Because then you've got to go to the web, I've got to redo the CSS, I've got to put this...
	No, we don't need to do...
	Oh, that's right.
	You have to do some work.
	Well, you and me both, I mean, come on.
	You're the one that's got the theory that we should just watch C-SPAN all day and never do any work.
	Well, apparently you're not doing that either.
	You're watching Hawaii Five-0.
	Ah!
	There you have it.
	How wrong you are, since we're going to start the next segment, I have the C-SPAN clip of the day.
	What is it?
	It's the one...
	I have to give a little background on this one.
	This is the clip that says that you can figure out when to start it.
	It's the death of the American apple.
	So they had these hearings with...
	In fact, they had your favorite woman on the...
	Oh, the black woman with all the scarves?
	No, I think she was on the Colbert hearing.
	I'm sorry, never mind that.
	So there was a hearing on illegal immigration and mostly...
	No, it was her.
	What am I thinking?
	On immigration reform.
	And this is the one where Colbert showed up.
	Did you see the guy talk about the Apple industry?
	Okay.
	There's a guy on there who's representing the Apple industry.
	There's a number of interesting people until Colbert showed up that had interesting testimony.
	And I started listening to it kind of between the lines and realized that immigration reform isn't just granting a bunch of illegal aliens citizen status.
	No, no.
	In fact, the clear act is...
	No, that's not true.
	It's not all about agriculture, because it's also about the illegal immigrant children serving in the military.
	That's an element.
	These are all distractions.
	The whole thing is a giant distraction to keep you from realizing what's really going on, which is the fact of the matter is, and this guy made one...
	You'll listen to his clip, but I'm going to tell you some of the stuff he said, along with this female professor that was at this thing.
	And it seems as if...
	What's really going on in this country is the same thing that's happened to manufacturing, is to outsource everything, including agriculture.
	And the way to do that...
	Is to make food illegal.
	Is to screw up the H2 type visas.
	No visas, right.
	To get the...
	And this guy had one story about there's some weird operation up in the Northeast that has some screwball fruit that can only be picked by experts from Jamaica.
	There's like a group of people that float around the country as certain kinds of experts.
	Expert apple pickers?
	No, they're not for apples.
	It's something else.
	But whatever the case was, apparently the TSA, not the TSA, but the Homeland Security people and the INS and all the rest of them refused to give these guys the H-2A visa or whatever they needed to come in and pick the crop.
	It was going to rot in two days.
	And they had to go, actually, they sent a lobbyist to Congress.
	The Congress had to, like, tell these guys to give them the visas because every year they come and pick this fruit or whatever it is.
	And they finally got it.
	Just at the last minute, they came in.
	This is going on all over the place, forcing people to hire illegal immigrants because they can't get the kind of help they were normally getting in the past.
	And you can see where this is headed when you play this clip, which is the Apple clip.
	The threat of losing farms and all the jobs dependent upon them is real and worsening in the face of congressional inaction.
	At least 80,000 acres of high-value vegetable production have left Arizona and California for Mexico.
	77% of Texas vegetable producers report scaling back due to labor shortfalls.
	Florida tomatoes and oranges are moving to Mexico and Brazil.
	China has requested access to our market for fresh apples, and they already produce over one half the world's apples.
	If the U.S. apple industry is starved for labor, the Chinese are ready to step in and supply our apples.
	In the face of a crisis, retrieving lost production will not happen quickly.
	Specialty crop production is extremely risky.
	Average profitability doesn't really give a proper return given the risk that we take.
	For most of us, the reasons we stay in it are not economical.
	A major life goal for me is to provide jobs for as many people as possible.
	Wow.
	So, this is interesting.
	Yeah, when you listen to the professor, there's a female black professor from, I forgot, some of those, one of the Eastern College, and she had a really good spiel, and then they had a couple other people there that had good spiels, and then this Apple guy, which I thought was boring at first, and I started listening to him, and then I started realizing this whole immigration thing is not, the reason you have all these illegals is to get everybody all worked up about it.
	And the whole real scam that's going on in the background is to get our agriculture shipped someplace where it's cheaper to produce and we can bring it in and there's more profitability.
	These giant conglomerates are screwing us.
	And I'm just thinking locally what's happening.
	For example, I went over to the Andronico store over here in Berkeley and next thing you know, Berkeley Farms Foods are all gone.
	But this is the scary thing, isn't it?
	They're also making your own organically grown at home stuff illegal.
	That's the scary part.
	I mean, you can go and outsource and screw everything up all you want, but to make it illegal for me to plant some seeds in my backyard because it doesn't adhere to the Codex Alimentarius, that's the part that scares me.
	Yeah, and you should be scared, because even though it sounds like total bullcrap...
	It's true.
	It's happening.
	There is an element of truth to it, because they can do this.
	In fact, they're trying to screw the organic farmers, the small operations, already.
	And we know that.
	If you read any of the organic stuff that's online, these people are moaning and groaning about these government guys coming in to screw them over.
	And this all has to do with big, big...
	Big business.
	And I could bring up some more of this, but it has to do with getting the stuff in these kind of mechanized farms.
	If you've ever flown to South America and you fly over Bolivia, you will see...
	Some farms down there.
	You look down, you go, my God, what is that?
	It is the size of Nebraska, and it's all, you can just see it, the entire thing is automated.
	It's giant strips of land that are designed to be, you know, irrigated and farmed by machines.
	It's just, it's a damn, you've never seen anything quite like it.
	And this is going on in Mexico, too.
	This is going on everywhere.
	Just to kind of mechanize the food supply system.
	Shut down the little farmers that have, like the Apple guys who have all these specialty products.
	We don't need that.
	It's too confusing.
	Too many skews, you know, and the rest of it.
	And we just put up with it.
	We just freaking put up with it, don't we?
	Just put up with it.
	I mean, people don't even know this, what you're telling us.
	They have no clue.
	There's no media reporting on this.
	No one is listening to something very simple.
	Of course, you have to turn on the television and tune to C-SPAN. Oh my gosh, no Lindsay Lohan on C-SPAN. People miss this.
	They just totally miss what's happening right before their very noses.
	We need to annihilate all of these fuckers in Congress and the Senate.
	Seriously, can I just line them up?
	Just shoot them.
	All of them.
	You'll be on some list tomorrow.
	I'm already on the list.
	Shoot them all.
	So I'm at Andronico's, and there's Berkeley Farm stuff off the shelf, and I'm listening to somebody, you know, Berkeley, somebody's employees, because somebody, I guess, wanted to buy something from them.
	And he said, ah...
	The guy says, well, you know, it's a Texas company and they're moving to Dallas and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	I said, what the fuck are you talking about, Berkeley Farms?
	They're still in Hayward.
	So I decided to look into it.
	And indeed, in 1998, Berkeley Farms was bought by Dean Foods.
	And I want people to go read the wiki page in the Wikipedia.
	Just read the Dean Foods page before somebody...
	Actually, there's nothing to be negative about it.
	It's just the fact that they're being sued left and right for all kinds of monopolistic practices.
	They own basically every...
	I mean, just for example, let me just read a few of the dairies they own.
	They own Altadena, Barbies, Barbers, Berkeley Farms, Borden's, Bruton Foods, Brown's Dairy, Country Fresh, Creamland, Dairy Ease, Gandhi's, Garrelick Farms, Gilbert's Dairy, Lehigh Valley Dairy Farms, Liberty Dairy, Lewis Trouth, Mayfield Dairy, MacArthur Dairy, Meadowbrook.
	Meadow Gold, Meadow Dairy, Oak Farms, Pet Dairy, Prices, Priority, Ryder, Robinson Dairy, Schenker, Sheps, Swifts Farms.
	It goes on and on.
	I mean, the stuff that these guys own is unbelievable.
	And it's just a giant corporation, and they're, you know, essentially standardizing everything to benefit the shareholders or whatever, and the government's done nothing about it, and nobody reports on it.
	In fact, you read a chunk from the Wikipedia, which, you know, is not accurate, but it's got good stuff.
	In April 2009, Foremost Farms USA, big company, cooperative over 2,000 dairy farmers in several Midwest states.
	2,000 dairy farmers sold this Wisconsin milk processing plant to Dean Foods.
	Screwing these guys.
	Wow.
	So what do we do about that?
	This is what immigration reform is all about.
	It's all about?
	Big corporations screwing you.
	Damn.
	Are we hopeless?
	Is there nothing we can do?
	We can bitch.
	At least we're doing that much.
	Most people don't even know.
	Yeah, that's true.
	We're bitching.
	Damn.
	Well, anyway, John, in case you missed it, there was a big United Nations meeting in New York, which coincided, of course, with the Clinton Global Initiative.
	And the United Nations finally did something for me.
	Finally, the UN is paying off.
	They have selected a Malaysian astrophysicist to be the head of its Office for Outer Space Affairs.
	Better known as Unusa.
	As Mazlan Otman describes her potential new role next week at a scientific conference, the Royal Society's Kavli Conference Center in Buckinghamshire, she will be the one who will welcome aliens when they finally come down to say hi.
	What?
	Yeah, she's first contact.
	Did somebody tell the aliens?
	Well, here we go.
	This is it.
	This is my message to the aliens.
	If you're coming down, look for the signs for UNUSA. That is the United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs.
	And pull a ticket and wait in line to meet with Dr.
	Ottman.
	Because she is your official liaison.
	Where are your offices?
	She is your official liaison.
	How do you get this job?
	I don't know.
	I'm pissed they should have chosen me.
	She's the one.
	Where are your offices?
	If they're going to come down and visit with her, they've got to know where she is.
	Let me see.
	Let me see.
	It's probably in New York, I guess, at the UN building.
	You think she has an office in there?
	Yeah, I think, of course.
	UNUSA. Let's see where...
	We should be listed on the index, you know, the bigger...
	They have to go in and announce themselves and sign in.
	Do they have to go through the metal detectors, the aliens?
	Do they have to do that?
	Hold on.
	Outer space.
	I'm going to see if I can find it.
	Here it is.
	Oh, it's...
	Oh, wait.
	Let's see.
	They have a Wikipedia page, of course.
	United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs.
	Oh, this will be mint.
	This is great.
	I've got to put this in the show notes.
	Organization of the General Assembly charged with implementing the Assembly's outer space-related policies.
	It is located in the United Nations Office.
	Oh, in Vienna.
	So off to Vienna, you slave aliens.
	Don't land here.
	You're in the wrong place.
	You don't want to go to Vienna?
	It's beautiful in Vienna this time of year.
	It's beautiful this time of year.
	The office implements the program on space applications.
	John, have we put in our space application yet?
	No, but I think we should.
	They also maintain the register of objects launched into outer space.
	Wow!
	Okay, hold on.
	They have a website, usa.unvienna.org.
	Oh my gosh, I didn't even see this.
	Wow!
	I've got to look through all this.
	This is good.
	Is this all one word?
	USA? No, no, no.
	It's www.
	Here, I'll put it in Skype for you.
	This is great!
	This is awesome.
	www.usa.unvienna.org.
	Let's see.
	August 26, Committee on the Peaceful Uses of Outer Space, International Space Law.
	There's a lot of international space law.
	UNUSA is also responsible for implementing the Secretary General's responsibilities, the United Nations Register of Objects Launched into Outer Space.
	I guess you have to apply if you want to launch something in outer space now.
	What is UN... I don't know.
	What is UN SPDR? Where's that?
	UN SPIDER. United Nations Platform for Space-Based Information for Disaster Management and Emergency Response.
	SPIDER. Space-Based Disaster Management.
	Where's the I? Oh, space-based information.
	Okay, SPIDER. Where's the M? Space-Based Information.
	SPI for Disaster Management.
	SPIDER. It's SPIDER. Where's the M? You can't make up these things and leave a word out.
	That's no good.
	Anyway, very happy to see that we have a liaison, so all you aliens, head on over to Vienna.
	That is where, apparently, it's all going down.
	Well, we should go visit.
	A couple more...
	That's $10.
	She's not in her office right now.
	We should call her.
	Hi, we should call her as an alien.
	That's the other thing.
	Is this a 24-7 manned office?
	Because who knows what time they're going to show up.
	Well, they better be there on October 13th.
	Because that's when they're coming.
	Get your boarding pass now at Dvorak.org slash NA. Get your mothership boarding pass.
	Because October 13th they're coming, and they apparently will be entering our atmosphere in Vienna to get their papers checked.
	So they have to go to Vienna now to see an alien.
	Okay, well...
	I don't know why they just didn't have it in New York.
	Why would they have it?
	Would they be setting up a special office?
	You know, this is all American taxpayer money.
	In Vienna?
	No, the whole UN. We've paid most of the bills in this operation.
	Some foots in the news.
	Oh, no.
	Yeah, now that we've, and of course we're one of the few shows that actually can do this with our global audience, and we're not just a global audience by saying, oh, we're received by billions of people tonight on the Academy Awards.
	No, we actually have a global audience that is checking in and sending us stories, which gives us great opportunity to cross-reference these things and see if they're happening everywhere.
	Chattanooga, Tennessee.
	A jogger in Chattanooga smelled something fishy and discovered a boot with a part of a human leg among some dead fishes in the Tennessee River.
	The jogger notified emergency personnel and remains have been taken to the medical examiner's office.
	They're working now with missing persons to see if anyone is missing a leg.
	And we have a human foot washed up on Cleethorpe Beach in Gitmo Nation East.
	Human foot found at the beach.
	Body part was found at Cleethorpe's Beach in northeast Lincolnshire on Wednesday by a member of the public.
	Police officers removed the foot from the scene and was taken to a local mortuary for specialist examination.
	We've removed the foot from the scene.
	And they're still trying to identify the body that would go with that foot.
	Yeah, a lot of feats and no people.
	Yes, and then we have, this is the Grimsby.
	This is, is this also, yeah, also Gitmo Nation.
	No, wait, this is, wow, that looks like San Francisco.
	Where's the Humber Estuary?
	Never heard of it.
	They're showing me a picture of the Bay Bridge.
	Maybe it's...
	I know there's an estuary that runs between Alameda and Oakland, but I don't think it's called the Humber.
	No, this is the UK. This is the UK. Wow.
	I've never seen this bridge.
	Yeah, it looks like it.
	Send me a link.
	I want to see it now.
	A police...
	Actually, it looks more like not the Bay Bridge, the Golden Gate Bridge.
	Well, it's confusing when you see the picture.
	I'll send you the link.
	Police investigation continues today after a human foot was discovered on the banks of the Humber Estuary less than a month after one washed up on the Cleethorpe's beach.
	That's a follow-on story.
	Nice bridge.
	Yeah.
	So lots of foots and nobodies.
	We have one of our producers did a nice analysis on Pakistan.
	Yeah.
	You know, was it maybe two or three shows ago, we were talking about essentially maybe Afghanistan just being one big distraction for Pakistan?
	Yeah, because we've got to get those nukes out of there.
	Well, he's actually tying this into China, which I thought was pretty interesting.
	As you know, we are definitely sucking China's little penis because they're paying for everything.
	A couple of points, he says.
	One, the floods in Pakistan this summer were massive.
	Most likely the floods are just a hundred year natural event.
	But if you want to put your tinfoil hat on, please note the comments about the Kalabagh Dam project.
	Interesting.
	Apparently there's some issue with the dam.
	I guess it's spelled K-A-L-A-B-A-G-H. If you want to get political pressure behind a massive dam project, a horrific flood might do the trick.
	Very interesting hypothesis.
	Oh, I like that.
	Now they're thinking like we think.
	Yes.
	Nuts, but not that nuts.
	That damn thing, if I'm not mistaken, is that the one where they're blocking the Yangtze River?
	A lot of people consider it an environmental disaster, this dam.
	And...
	I don't know whether it is or not, but the Chinese are going to use it for...
	They're going to be chewing up a lot of power.
	Interesting.
	Yeah, but a very interesting theory.
	I like it.
	According to Bob Woodward's brand new book, which I have not read yet, the CIA is running...
	Sorry?
	I'm sorry.
	And we do know that as a backstory for new listeners, you have to read...
	What's the name of the Bush...
	Family of Secrets?
	What's the name of that book?
	Family of Secrets.
	Family of Secrets.
	You have to read that book, and there's a great deconstruction of Bob Woodward's career in there.
	Yeah, he's a spook.
	He's a CIA guy.
	He's a spook.
	According to Bob Woodward's new book, the CIA is running a 3,000-person covert op in northwestern Pakistan.
	Senator Dianne Feinstein confirms the U.S. base in Pakistan.
	3,000?
	Yes, and there's a U.S. base, and he has links to all of this stuff.
	It's great.
	I'm putting this whole thing in the show notes.
	So why do you think that they would want us to know this?
	Well, let me continue and we'll see if we can figure that one out.
	China built a deep-water port named Gwadar at the mouth of the Persian Gulf at a cost of approximately $1 billion U.S. Now China has as many as 11,000 soldiers in northern Pakistan in an area named Gilgit-Baltistan.
	To, quote, help with flood relief.
	So this is how it works, right?
	First you turn on the weather modification machine, you start flooding everything, and then you get to do all these political things, like moving 11,000 soldiers to help out.
	But here's the thing.
	There's a rail line, or also a pipeline, linking China's Gwadar port to China's border with Pakistan.
	So this guy's done some amazing work here.
	China is planning to build a rail line to Kabul, Afghanistan.
	This would allow the newly found, quote, mineral resources to be shipped out of Afghanistan towards China.
	This is a beautiful setup.
	This is geopolitics.
	I think our producer here has done a great job.
	And that would be Eric from Portland.
	So here's his analysis.
	Pakistan has nuclear arms, therefore cannot be invaded.
	Pakistan is a key blocking point for oil.
	True.
	Now, when you say the guy did a great job, you're talking about our producer, not about Bob Woodward.
	No, no, this is our producer.
	Bob Woodward, he does a great job for the CIA. Yeah, I mean, they just give him the documents, and he just puts it together.
	I mean, if I was working, I mean, you get bestsellers out of that.
	They got the best material.
	But I really like what Eric has done here.
	So, Pakistan, a key blocking point for oil, natural gas, and minerals moving to China and India.
	China, particularly, and India have skyrocketing demand for oil, natural gas, and minerals, and controlling Pakistan is a key way to block the movement of these to the east.
	So, it's strategic.
	Without an overland route through Pakistan, these items, oil, gas, and minerals, have to go by sea.
	The fastest sea route is the inside passage through Singapore...
	Which is home to a large U.S. naval presence, which has strong ties to Singapore.
	In fact, Singapore controls the business running through Guadar, at least for now.
	So if the land route is blocked for oil, gas, and minerals, and the inside passage past Singapore is blocked, it's a long trip 5,000 miles around New Guinea.
	If you take that route, you have to pass Diego Garcia, which is no small task.
	Therefore, Pakistan is a strategic asset due to its geographic position.
	China wants to hold Pakistan together to secure routes for oil, gas, and minerals, while the U.S. wants to break Pakistan apart to stop the movement of oil, gas, and minerals to the east.
	Additionally, if Pakistan breaks into regions, the U.S. military, under the guise of U.N. sanctions, will have the needed world backing to go in and take out the nuclear weapons due to political unrest and a political lack of control of the nuclear stockpile.
	I'm liking that.
	I'm liking the work Eric did here.
	I'm putting his entire analysis in the show notes at noagendashow.com.
	That is good.
	It's really, really good.
	It seems solid.
	Because we've had a hard time getting any information out of Pakistan whatsoever.
	I don't think we have any producers.
	No, I don't think so.
	We've got a couple of Indian guys who just, you know, listen casually.
	That area is hard to penetrate, even though they speak and read English.
	Even as a writer, you know, if you're trying to get your stuff syndicated there or even get published, it's almost like pulling teeth.
	They're very insular.
	They don't want to take anybody's outside.
	You know, they think everything is.
	I guess they're suspicious for probably good reason.
	They won't take your material.
	And while we're talking about oil, get out the prediction notebook, John.
	Remember I said about a half week ago, maybe a week ago, major event coming, a new something or other, another oil disaster.
	This is how it works.
	BBC now reporting.
	From the steamy waters of the Gulf of Mexico, a practice session is underway to prepare for what the oil industry must dread, a repeat of the massive spill on the scale of the BP disaster in Louisiana.
	So whenever they're getting gearing up for a little...
	Test.
	A little test there.
	Practice.
	But where are they doing this?
	Off the coast of Southampton, Gitmo Nation East.
	This is where they're testing this.
	North Sea, baby.
	I'm telling you, North Sea could be next.
	Well, you know, I think there's a...
	I don't want to sound too weird about this, but we do already know that the EU as a whole, which also encompasses the one-world government folks, are not pleased with Norway.
	No, because they're not in the EU. They kept the corona.
	They've got tons of oil.
	And they've got tons of oil.
	They're not in the EU. They're not sharing the wealth.
	They're not team players.
	They're not team players.
	They're not sharing the wealth.
	They're uncooperative, and of course, having a great time.
	And by the way, in all Scandinavian and Nordic countries, the Norwegian women are the prettiest.
	So they're having the time of their lives, and somebody's got to stick it to them.
	So it will be Norwegian.
	Norway will be involved in this, if your prediction is correct.
	Well, I think it's coming pretty quickly.
	And, you know, just the fact that they...
	Oh, well, we're practicing here.
	We're getting ready.
	And we're safe.
	If there's a big oil spill, we're all safe.
	And remember, we had the earthquake drill recently.
	Oh, there's some fault in the North Sea.
	It could cause, you know, huge tremors.
	And I think there were also...
	Doing a...
	Yeah, this was pretty crazy.
	San Diego earthquake drill.
	Did you see that they were doing this on Twitter?
	Yeah.
	And Facebook?
	I mean, what...
	So, I have the news report here.
	Both those elements will come in very handy when there's a big quake and the net goes down.
	If you see a message on Twitter or Facebook Friday, this past Friday, that says the Coronado Bridge has broken in half or that Scripps Hospital has collapsed, Don't believe it.
	It's a test.
	Just a test.
	San Diego State University is hosting a huge two-day earthquake drill that's meant to explore how effective social media can be in spreading news and information about catastrophe.
	Groovy, guys.
	Now we're depending on the fail whale to help us out?
	And their hashtag, X24. What's up with that?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I don't like it.
	I don't like that they're using Twitter for it.
	X24. What is with X24? I don't know.
	Let's take a quick gander.
	Well, so I'm looking at...
	If you just search for X24 hashtags...
	Well, of course, there's a million of them.
	Nobody even on the Wikipedia knows.
	Exercise 24, there's an X, that must be an X24, an international two-day collaboration, multidisciplinary exploration, blah, blah, blah.
	X24 would refer to exercise perhaps 24, since it's on a website that also includes inrelief.org and the San Diego State University Vis Center.
	So it's got to be this.
	Exercise 24 Live has commenced.
	Thank you for your participation.
	Please take our after-action survey as soon as possible so we can analyze the feedback at our Hot Wash Monday.
	There's all this jargon.
	Cool.
	Hot Wash.
	Discussion by X24 participants and observers.
	The purpose of the Hot Wash is to identify best practices and weaknesses of the response during X24, which will be included in the X24 After Action Report.
	This report is used to guide future exercises and response efforts.
	Military.
	Oh yeah.
	Sounds military.
	And by the way, this past week I've had a couple of Angelenos email me about it.
	I have seen, you know, I've never seen this many military helicopters fly overhead.
	There's continuous information.
	Four Chinooks.
	I've seen six Blackhawks.
	Yesterday, one Blackhawk and two Apaches.
	What is going on?
	Where are they flying from?
	They're flying over the 101.
	I know that because it's right over the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center.
	What is going on?
	Why are these...
	I mean, the Chinooks, you only see those when the President's in town.
	Where are they coming from?
	Where are they going to?
	And why are they flying overhead all the time?
	If anyone knows, please, is there some kind of military exercise going on?
	What is up with that?
	Quite honestly, Miss Mickey is a bit freaked out about it.
	These things, they make the window shake when they go over.
	Oh yeah, they shouldn't be allowed to fly over civilian populations.
	And they're going over no more than 1,000 feet overhead, so we're at 800 feet.
	So they're at 1,800 or 2,000 feet.
	But they're real, and they're armed.
	There's missiles on the side of the Apaches, whatever the hell they...
	I can see them right there.
	That's how low they are.
	It's just, it's creepy.
	Yeah, it's a creepy plane.
	And I don't understand why they're flying.
	What is going on?
	Is there something that we're unaware of?
	Is there a drill happening?
	Apparently.
	It's just not very nice.
	And don't forget when you were down in San Diego, which is where the X-24 exercise took place.
	Oh, it was one every 90 seconds.
	There was all this action going on.
	Because it was training.
	Ah, it's a training facility.
	It's where we train our soldiers.
	Yeah, well, they totally ruined the...
	Ruined our stay, that's for sure.
	So let's go back to the question we didn't answer amongst ourselves, which is why would Bob Woodward be given this information to tell the public?
	To disseminate?
	Well, we have to read the book, that's for sure.
	Okay.
	So I don't know.
	It's got to be in there.
	Well, maybe it's just a CYA or something.
	You know, or we told you so, or who knows.
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	Okay.
	So looking at the Shadow Puppet Theater, Rahm Emanuel definitely, although he still has not announced anything, now the news reports are everywhere that he will be leaving the White House.
	And now also David Axelrod will be leaving the White House.
	This should be very amusing without those two.
	Well, what do you think?
	I mean, do you think that they knew something like that the president is not going to run for a second term?
	That's what it seems like to me.
	Well, they're definitely jumping ship.
	I mean, it's too soon.
	They're just getting their act together.
	You know, even Clinton in his first two years took forever to pull it together.
	Reagan took forever to pull it together.
	At least two years.
	And usually the first team stays on at least until the third or fourth year, and then they bail out in the second term.
	But...
	This is a little premature, it seems to me.
	Maybe somebody out there can do some research, and maybe I'm wrong.
	Maybe the chief of staff quits early, but I don't recall it happening before.
	It may be overplayed by the right-wing media, I'm not sure.
	Also, Lawrence Summers leaving the president's economic advisory team.
	Yeah, I have access to a complete speech I picked up off of C-SPAN of him yakking away about stuff.
	He's terrible.
	What's your Orzag wedding clip?
	I've been looking at that throughout the entire show.
	Well, you know, it's apparently Orzag is being marginalized.
	Peter Orzag?
	Yeah, he's being marginalized and they're not going to go to his wedding, all these people in the White House.
	Peter Orzag, he was the guy who was an advisor to Iceland.
	And he did so well that they asked him to come and be the management, to oversee the management and budget office.
	Basically to hold the checkbook.
	Yeah, to check it.
	Sunk Iceland.
	After he sunk Iceland.
	And so they're now shunning his weapon.
	Should we just go straight into the clip or does it need set up?
	Yeah, play it.
	The White House sends its regrets.
	Check out today's lead item on page six.
	Obama trio is planning to skip ex-budget director Peter Orzag's wedding.
	The paper reports that Valerie Jarrett, David Axelrod, and Rahm Emanuel all made last-minute cancellations, apparently because of a New York Times column Orzag wrote this month.
	In the case for extending all the Bush tax cuts, a big departure from the president's official position, Orzag's wedding to ABC correspondent Diana Golodriga is set for tomorrow in Manhattan.
	I think the snub has a lot more to do with something that isn't about that column and may have to do with how they work together in the White House.
	Now for tonight's...
	What the fuck was that music all about?
	This is a stupid segment that they play on hardball and they have all this music in the background.
	You can't listen to anything anymore with a bunch of racket going on.
	They did have one thing that was interesting.
	They took a clip.
	This is just going to play.
	I think it's kind of funny.
	This is a clip of Chris Christie, who is apparently stumping around the country.
	He's the governor of Jersey.
	New Jersey.
	Yeah.
	He's kind of a big, fat blowhard.
	Isn't he like an ex-Goldman guy or something?
	I don't know, maybe you can look him up.
	Whatever the case is, he's a blowhard.
	And so he apparently came out to this, and I think, by the way, this whole thing is rigged, but I don't think necessarily Meg Whitman knew about it.
	Meg Whitman was at a town hall meeting giving her little speech to get the governorship.
	And she, this heckler showed up.
	And the heckler started yelling at her.
	And she got really actually kind of freaky about it.
	It's like, I mean, like really freaky.
	She was like, she had her eyes bugged out.
	She didn't know what to do.
	She kind of froze like a deer in the headlights.
	And Chris Christie, who was there to give a talk to help promote her, what she's doing with other people, jumped up, grabbed the mic, and chewed this guy out.
	And he couldn't do a very good job because he kept saying, hey, you know what?
	Hey, you know what?
	Hey, you know what?
	In other words, he's semi-illiterate.
	And I think the guy was...
	He looks like he should be on The Sopranos, really.
	Yeah, totally.
	The guy stands up on cue, almost, and then he kind of doesn't say anything, and Christy chews him out, looks good, chewing him out, except for the fact that he can't really do a good job of it by this repetitious, hey, you know what?
	And then the whole thing ends, and that clip got a lot of play, and I'm thinking, this thing was rigged.
	I don't think Meg Whitman necessarily knew, but this guy was a plant, and Christy, you know, got to show off, and I think he may be doing stuff like this here and there.
	It's just fake.
	Listen to it.
	Spectacle theme continues here on the Sideshow.
	This week, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was campaigning out in California with Meg Whitman when a heckler interrupted Whitman's speech.
	Christie was quick to jump in.
	Hey, hey listen.
	Hey, listen.
	You know what?
	You want to yell, yell at me.
	But don't give her a hard time.
	We're here.
	We're here talking about the future of the state of California and the future of our country.
	And you know what?
	Let me tell you this.
	You know what?
	It's people who raise their voices and yell and scream like you that are dividing this country.
	We're here to bring this country together, not to divide it.
	Christie services are in demand anywhere.
	California is just the first stop on his 11th state political tour.
	He says he's not thinking about running for president in 2012.
	If there was ever a shut-up slave moment, that was it.
	Hey, hey, you shouldn't be yelling and raising your voice and making a ruckus, you slave.
	Shut up, slave.
	You're dividing the country, slave.
	Screw that guy.
	No, this guy, yeah.
	But the thing was rigged.
	I mean, he couldn't even pull it off.
	He said, you know what, I think seven times.
	Hey, you know what, John?
	What?
	We got a note from Danny, the med student.
	He says, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You know, when you're a med student, you, like, get taught stuff.
	Yeah, I was listening to No Agenda 236.
	You were talking about depression in children.
	Hey, hey, hey.
	Hey, you mentioned that whole list.
	You only need to have five of nine to be eligible for drugs for kids.
	So he sent us the link for antidepressants.
	Yeah.
	So it's only five of the nine.
	Well, what did we say?
	Well, we said if it was just one of them.
	Oh, you need five, not one?
	Yeah, you need five of the nine.
	We could go through this list again.
	Go to the list again.
	I'm sure we can check off five on everybody.
	Depressed mood most of the day.
	Anyone living right now in this country would have that.
	Note, note, note.
	In children and adolescents, this could also be an irritable mood.
	Okay, that's one.
	That's everyone.
	Check.
	Two, markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all or almost all activities most of the day.
	That's all kids are bored.
	Three, significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain, which is a change of more than 5% of body weight, decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.
	Note, in children, consider failure to make expected weight gain.
	Okay, we'll skip that one.
	We'll skip that one.
	Four, insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day.
	Skip that one.
	Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day.
	What does that mean?
	I don't know.
	It's like kids are walking around like morons.
	Isn't that what they do?
	In other words, if they're acting goofy.
	I'm checking that one.
	I'm checking that one, too.
	How many do we have?
	We have three?
	Three.
	Okay.
	Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.
	Yeah.
	All kids.
	Alright.
	Feeling of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt which may be delusional nearly every day.
	I would tend to check that one.
	Let's keep it unchecked.
	You never know.
	Okay.
	Here, eight.
	Diminished ability to think or concentrate.
	Check.
	Hello?
	Check.
	The kids.
	The kids are that way.
	Now, here's a tough one.
	This is the shill.
	Recurrent thoughts of death, not just the fear of dying.
	Recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan or a suicide attempt or specific plan for committing suicide.
	I'm not checking that one, but we already have five.
	But I'm saying, but as a kid, how many didn't you say, oh, I'm just going to go kill myself then?
	Haven't you said that as a kid?
	Oh, okay.
	Now, there's a B, C, and D, which I don't understand.
	The symptoms are not due to direct psychological effects of a substance.
	The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impaired in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning, like school.
	And the symptoms are not due to direct psychological effects of a substance.
	Okay, so if you're on the shit, then you don't qualify to get more of the shit.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so we do have five.
	We got five.
	One, two, number one, number two.
	Easily.
	Easily.
	Yeah, you might be able to get a sixth if you try.
	Easily.
	So, dope them up!
	Put them kids on Ritalin.
	Yay!
	Dope them up.
	Let's see, what do I have left?
	So the only two things we have outstanding for sure here, John, are...
	Now, we still haven't resolved what we're going to use as an end-of-show clip.
	We have the Colbert congressional speech, which...
	You have a short clip, right?
	It...
	I have a short Colbert clip, which is his introduction to his rather long-winded...
	This, by the way, became the big topic of discussion on both right- and left-wing talk shows.
	But it sucked!
	His speech sucked!
	It was boring, but here's the thing that's interesting.
	Everybody got riled up about it because it was like an insult to Congress.
	Because he testified in character as the Colbert character.
	And he had a couple of jokes in there, but it was like...
	They fell flat.
	They weren't funny.
	They totally fell flat.
	No, they weren't.
	But this is the beginning of it, which kind of gives you the insight to the whole thing.
	And we can post the whole thing if we want, but just play this little clip and this is all you need.
	Hold on, I have the wrong clip queued up here.
	Sorry.
	Here's the short one.
	My name is Stephen Colbert, and I am an American citizen.
	It is an honor and a privilege to be here today.
	Congresswoman Lofgren asked me to share my vast experience spending one day as a migrant farm worker.
	I am happy to use my celebrity to draw attention to this important, complicated issue, and I certainly hope that my star power can bump this hearing all the way up to C-SPAN 1.
	Yeah, so what was the point of his speech?
	I think Zoe Lofgren, who invited him to come on, has a crush on him.
	So to basically misuse Congress and C-SPAN 3 to get laid?
	Yeah.
	Oh, damn.
	Well, she didn't get laid, I'm sure of that.
	You don't know that.
	I do.
	I know.
	Colbert apparently will go to anything.
	It's in the collective unconscious.
	Colbert will do anything, clearly.
	Well, sure.
	I would, too.
	I'd be in there going, hey, I wish I had for the Zoe part.
	Yeah, you know what?
	I think, actually, I'm very happy with this because...
	This means that Congress is open to crazy people like us.
	I think we can have Ron Paul invite me to go in and say some kooky shit.
	I would love it.
	I'd record that.
	It might get bumped up to C-SPAN 1.
	We might even use it as an end-of-show clip, if I'm really lucky.
	But seriously, doesn't this open it up?
	If we can have Colbert go in and do schtick, and it was unclear what he was saying, did you understand the point of his...
	It was just a satire about nothing.
	I mean, it was worse than a Seinfeld episode.
	It had no point and it didn't do anything and it didn't move the conversation.
	It was just a waste of time, to be honest about it.
	But what was interesting is the way the left wing especially said, I'm surprised they didn't walk out on him.
	This was an insult to Congress.
	And they went on and on about it.
	And the right-wingers, I haven't heard all of them, but believe me, it will be discussed to death on Monday.
	Well, I think it's a perfect setup, and I think it's been legitimized, and I'm going to call my, my people will call Ron Paul's people, and he should be able to invite me into any, I mean, I can talk about any conversation in Congress, and I can read, like Colbert.
	Yeah, he read, that's the other thing, he read the whole thing.
	I won't try to be funny.
	He screwed it up about two-thirds of the way through, and he missed a paragraph or something.
	He had to go back.
	So the end of show clip then, let's do Nigel Farage about the demise of the Euro and Europe in general.
	Well, that's probably much more entertaining.
	It is, and he actually says, hey, Germany, you guys should pull out now while you still can.
	Get the Deutschmark back, and you'll be groovy.
	He's right.
	Of course he's right.
	He's saying that Ireland, Portugal, the pigs, they're all going down, and get out while you can.
	So we'll wrap with that.
	We'll do that as the end of show clip.
	Anything else you have left over that we don't want to forget?
	Well, let's see.
	We got...
	Bernie Sanders?
	Yeah, it's fun to listen to Bernie Sanders, but it's not important.
	Okay.
	No, I think that's it.
	Unless you want to replay the Hawaii Five-0 clip.
	Let me think.
	No.
	Okay.
	Absolutely not.
	We're not going to do any of that.
	Instead, John, let us sign off for this episode from Gitmo Nation on the west.
	How's the weather outside, Miss Mickey?
	Is it 105 degrees?
	She's got her headphones on, so she has a 30-second delay.
	Which means she'll turn to me in a few minutes and go, Oh, yeah.
	Um...
	So she's listening to the show to stream instead of live?
	Yeah.
	Well, she was out.
	She had an appointment.
	So she just walked back in.
	Everything you have heard discussed on this show, you can find in the show notes at noagendashow.com.
	You'll also find a link there to help support the program.
	We live solely on your donations, and we could certainly use a couple nights since it seemed like everything was kind of down.
	And remember, dedouching now at a $100 level.
	Coming to you from Gitmo Nation West in the People's Republic of Southern California.
	In the morning, everybody, I am Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where it's going to be hot here too, but not quite a hundred, I don't think.
	I hope not.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll talk to you again on Thursday right here on No Agenda.
	Mr. Farage, when will the Euro break apart?
	If I knew the answer to that, I would go down to the bookmakers and place a very large bet and be a very rich man.
	I don't know when it's going to break apart.
	I suspect that between now and Christmas, something big will break.
	If you remember, back in May, this crisis was at its height.
	Over the course of the summer, it appeared...
	To be a calmer, quieter period.
	And of course, in Brussels, everybody's in denial.
	You know, I mean, huge debates about the EU happen and no one mentions the euro.
	Well, apart from me, of course.
	I always do.
	But if you look at the economic figures coming out of Ireland this week, if you look at what's been happening to the bond markets in Portugal...
	And again in Greece, you realise that there are some huge problems here.
	And if people in Germany think that the euro crisis is just about Greece, well, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you, because you ain't seen nothing yet.
	Portugal and Ireland's economies are possibly even in a worse state than Greece's.
	I think something may happen before Christmas, but when will it finally break to pieces?
	I can't say, but inevitably it will.
	It was just a huge cataclysmic error to force into a monetary union Germany and Greece.
	Unfortunately, it simply can't work.
	So what is your solution for this?
	Germany out of the euro?
	Well, there are two solutions.
	There are two solutions.
	One is...
	That Greece is forced out, and Portugal probably an island too, and they have to re-establish their own national currencies, and they'll probably need some help to do that as well.
	That's one solution.
	I mean, clearly, Greece needs massive devaluation, otherwise she simply can't cope at all.
	The other more radical solution, and it may appear to be off the agenda completely at the moment, but the radical solution, of course, is that Germany says, look...
	We've actually proved since 1945 that we're rather good at managing our own currency.
	We're rather good at managing our own democracy.
	You know, I mean, the Deutsche Mark was a currency that was globally respected.
	You know, the Germans' reputation for fiscal responsibility and sound money was something that we were all very jealous of.
	And the radical thing would be for Germany to say, we are taking back the Deutsche Mark, we're taking back control of our lives.
	We don't do this in a spirit of being against anybody.
	You know, we want to trade with our European neighbours.
	We want to cooperate with them.
	We want to run our own lives and have our own currency.
	That's the radical step, and that's the one that I personally would like to see.
	But do you think that Brussels will like this?
	I mean, we have a big, huge democracy deficit there.
	Well, of course.
	I mean, look, the fundamental problem in democratic terms with the European Union has been since day one.
	That it is the European Commission, the bureaucracy, the civil service, if you like, they're the ones that have the sole right to initiate legislation.
	They're the ones that have the sole ability to amend and change legislation.
	So, you know, you'll read in the newspapers that the European Parliament did this and the European Parliament did that.
	But in effect, what the European Parliament does, it does the bidding of the civil service.
	In a democracy, it should be the other way round.
	It should be parliaments...
	That make laws and civil servants that enact laws.
	In Brussels, it's the other way around.
	Now, the bigger democratic question is, can the deficit be closed?
	Is there a means, is there a way of democratizing the European Union?
	And my answer to that is that right from the very word go, this was never intended to be democratic.
	So it's intended to be undemocratic then?
	Absolutely.
	A kind of runter then?
	Well, from the start, I mean, Jean Monnet was the father of this.
	John Monnet really was the father of this project.
	He hated democracy.
	It was terribly inconvenient, because if a government gets elected, and it goes in this direction for four years, then you get another government that goes off in a different direction.
	Now, people like Monnet, with their great global views, and with their unshakable belief that they know what is best, they know how we should live our lives, they don't want a system like that.
	They've got 10, 20, 50-year plans, and democracy is highly inconvenient.
	If, if there was anything truly democratic about this European Union, then when they drafted a constitution, that was the opportunity to make it democratic, and I challenged them all the way through.
	Come on, show me that you're Democrats.
	Make this constitution a democratic framework for a European Union, and they steadfastly refused to do so.
	But so far we are closer to the former socialist republic than to a democracy.
	Well, a great friend of mine and a man that I admire enormously is a former Soviet dissident called Vladimir Bukovsky, who now lives in Cambridge.
	He's been in England for about 30 years.
	And Vladimir spent 12 years in and out of mental institutions in the former USSR, you know, categorized as being mad because he was opposed to the system.
	Interesting.
	I'm often called mad as well.
	And, you know, Vladimir says that what he sees with the development of the European Union is something very unpleasant and he has a sort of chilling phrase.
	He says, I have lived in your future and I didn't like it.
	Coming back to another issue concerning the EU is this climate hysteria.
	Where are the roots, where are the causes for this big, big lie?
	Well, it's so convenient, isn't it?
	You know, that if politicians get a whiff that there is something happening where they can show the world what wonderful people they are, then they all club together and they all agree.
	And so it's been with climate change, global warming, call it what you will, that this was their way of showing everybody what wonderful people they were, firstly.
	Secondly, it gave their failing European Union, as they saw it, some sense of purpose.
	And anybody that was offering a sceptical voice was absolutely vilified and derided.
	I remember doing a programme about five years ago when this whole topic came up, and I said, well, hang on, you know, I may not be a scientist, but I think there is another argument going on here that it is not definite that CO2 emissions are leading to increased temperatures.
	And I was on with a Labour politician, British Labour politician, and he sort of pointed at me and screamed, Denier!
	Denier!
	As if I committed...
	Like in the Middle Ages.
	Yes!
	Oh, yes!
	Witchcraft!
	You know, but I should have been burned at the stake for doing it.
	Now, it's interesting because I think people are beginning to wake up to this.
	Whether or not we are living through a period of global warming is open to question.
	But what I am certain of is the measures we are taking...
	Supposedly to combat climate change are leading to yet another reduction of our democracy, are burdening the poorest people in society with unnecessary bills.
	And in terms of energy requirements, I mean, we're heading down a road that is absolutely mad.
	I mean, I'm afraid Germany caught the disease before we did.
	I think there are 18,000 of these disgusting wind turbines all over Germany.
	Well, it's all well and good when the wind blows, but what happens in February?
	What happens in February when it's cold?
	We have fog and frost.
	And we have a big anti-cyclone sitting over northern Europe.
	Not one of them turns.
	Not one of them produces any electricity at all.
	So I'm afraid that, you know, what we've done in the name of climate change, I think, frankly, is disastrous.
	Finally, your personal view on the developments in Brussels.
	I mean, they're sticking to their power, and I don't see any new developments in terms of a democratic development.
	Quite the reverse.
	Quite the reverse.
	The next development, and watch this space, because in October...
	Herman Van Rompuy, the President of Europe, the man who, of course, earns more than Obama, but was never elected by anybody.
	In October, his task force will report.
	And his task force is to set up a new economic governance of the European Union.
	And one of his plans is that if any member state breaks the rules that he sets, they will have their voting rights taken away from them.
	That's democracy in the EU. That's what's coming next.
	But it remembers me more to a dictatorship.
	Let the viewers make their own minds up.
	Basically, I believe that this project isn't undemocratic.
	I believe it is fundamentally anti-democratic.
	But in a personal talk to me, you told me there is nevertheless some hope for the wider future.
	Of course there is.
	There is.
	Look, of course there is.
	You know, what our career politicians are doing in all our member countries for their own self-aggrandizement, for their own careers, for their own finances, what they have done is nothing less than to betray our nations, to betray our democracies, and to do it against the tide of public opinion.
	The gap between the governors and the governed is now a gaping chasm, and I'm an optimist.
	I believe that gap can be filled through peaceful and democratic means.
	Roger Farage, many thanks for this interview.

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