Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

All Episodes

Previous Next

Sept. 5, 2010 - No Agenda

02:08:00

232: Eating the Evidence

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	The big news is that you can't get a hooker on Craigslist anymore.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Sunday, September 5th, 2010.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation media assassination episode 232.
	This is No Agenda.
	Coming to you from the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center in Gitmo Nation West in the People's Republic of Southern California.
	In the morning, I'm the conspiracy scientist, Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where the sun is shining, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Craig Vaughn and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	Okay, it's going to be one of those days, huh?
	What?
	I'm John C. DeVore.
	Yep.
	In the morning to you, John.
	And in the morning to you and to all the sips at sea.
	To all the sips, the people that use the protocol for voice over IP. Yes, and all the ships at sea and our human resources who are charged up and in the chat room at noagendachat.com as we stream it out live at noagendastream.com.
	Hey!
	How you doing, my friend?
	So let's start by telling everybody who our executive producers are for the week.
	Oh, you want to get right into it.
	Yeah, get right into it, right out of it.
	Okay, let's rock it.
	Okay, we've got one executive producer, and that will again be Paul Couture.
	Ah, Sir Paul Couture rocks it again.
	Okay.
	And we have three associate executive producers.
	Okay.
	William Macy, who has a little note here.
	Mention the name Tricky Nicky from Zurich.
	I think I met him once.
	I think I met him with Joe Pesci.
	We were hanging out drinking in Zurich.
	There's no code to his $214.43.
	He basically just dumped out his PayPal account.
	Okay, that's cool.
	And we encourage anyone to do that to support the show.
	Please give one special mention to Patrick.
	Hey, Patrick.
	Hey, here's a special mention for you.
	From Tricky Nicky.
	Tricky Nicky.
	Yeah, he's going to go out there.
	He's going to work his way to night.
	I want to know what the story is behind Tricky Nicky now.
	That's kind of intriguing.
	Yeah, his name's William Macy.
	I mean, how do you get from...
	Hey, it's Bill Macy and Tricky Nicky, everybody, emptying out the PayPals.
	Hey, shout out to Patrick.
	And then Peter.
	Well, this is one for you.
	Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Niesink. Niesink.
	From?
	Shindam. Schidam. Schidam.
	Shindom.
	Shindom.
	No, Shindom.
	Yes, he done.
	Netherlands.
	Exactly.
	Okay.
	And finally, Jessica, I think it's pronounced a re-sterer.
	Yeah, that looks about right.
	She gave some money for her boyfriend, I believe.
	Let me read her a note.
	In the morning from Gitmo Oberland, which is good, and fondue.
	Switzerland.
	Kipo Nation fondue.
	Kipo Nation fondue.
	My boyfriend, Bill, listens to every show and turned me on to it.
	He's a sexy Faraday cage builder.
	Yeah!
	I mean, when it comes to Faraday cage builders.
	Faraday cage builders are hot to women.
	That's right.
	That's right.
	He takes electronics from EMP in the upper atmosphere and he gets a donation for his 37th birthday, which is today, September 5th.
	And we'll congratulate him later, of course.
	Right.
	And she made the mistake of sending in two donations.
	She hit the button twice, and so it came to a total of $200.74, and she says, ah, keep it, which is typical from Gitmo fondue folks.
	Yeah, that's right.
	And so she becomes an executive producer.
	Great.
	And so it works beautifully.
	Everyone wins.
	And she wants to be de-douched, apparently.
	Oh, we can do that right now.
	It's no problem.
	You've been de-douched.
	Yeah, this is a listener-supported show, and of course, just like every other real Hollywood project, as this show does emanate from Gitmo Nation West and the People's Republic of California, we hand out credits for executive producers and associate executive producers who actually fund the project, which is very normal.
	We do have a number of PR mentions to go through today, John, which I'd like to share with you.
	First of all, Sir Paul Couture has a new challenge coin.
	Were you aware of this?
	Because I guess I missed it.
	You missed the meeting.
	Did you have the meeting on Friday?
	You had a meeting and you didn't invite me?
	We decided that you weren't needed.
	Story of my life!
	Thanks.
	I took a page from Ron Bloom's book.
	Oh, nice.
	Sir Paul has yet a new coin challenge.
	Challenge coin.
	Yeah, but it's a coin challenge with a challenge coin.
	Yeah, okay.
	Because, of course, the challenge is he wants to get these out by 10-10-10.
	It is a 10-10-10 commemorative coin, but its official title is the Orwell Quote Media Assassin Coin.
	Once again, beautiful work.
	On the front there, we've got 42.
	Of course, 101010 is binary for 42, which, as you know, according to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is the answer to all questions in the universe and beyond.
	Beautiful, no agenda show.
	And then, of course, In Aura, Alium Isiere, something like that, which is Latin for hit him in the mouth, I think.
	On the flip side, it has 10-10-10, Media Assassin.
	And these are beautiful.
	It has like a black bezel.
	And it has a quote from George Orwell on the back that says, We have now sunk to a depth at which restatement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
	There you go, John.
	That would be us.
	Apparently.
	So it's $33.33.
	Go to noagendafans.com.
	Beautiful coins once again.
	And read the story about Challenge Coins and about the first coin and about Paul Couture and his wife spending hours trying to sort out the serial numbers to go with the right people.
	Yeah, that was a mistake.
	Yeah, I think he learned from that one.
	And, of course, he is also not just Sir Paul Couture, also Lord of the Rings, apparently, but I won't know for sure until I see the meeting notes.
	I'll tell you what the meeting notes are.
	Okay.
	We finalized the rings.
	are being manufactured as we speak.
	No Agenda Show dot...
	No, I'm sorry.
	I'm confused.
	They're being manufactured...
	Yeah, NoAgendaFans.com, right.
	Hey, we've got a No Agenda game app for the iPhone in the App Store, which is...
	It's so good, I'm going to put it on the Big App Show.
	It is hilarious.
	It's kind of like a tilt game.
	You use the accelerometer and you have to collect slaves.
	You collect the slaves and then they follow you around to enlightenment and the little slave gathering grows behind you.
	And these are of course producers.
	But then you have the obstacles which are mainstream media blips pop up and they hit you in the mouth.
	It's funny.
	It's got all our sound effects.
	It's an awesome game.
	Really, it's actually quite challenging.
	It has the whole No Agenda vibe in there.
	It's 99 cents, and a portion of that, I guess, goes to Apple.
	Then maybe, if we're lucky, some of it will go to us.
	But a link in the show notes at noagendashow.com under links that rock.
	There's another 10-10-10 promotion under noagendasuperkarma.com.
	Which is the No Agenda 101010 Super Karma 42 package, consisting of a number of pins, which are very hippie-esque.
	And just to remind you that we have an interesting model for this program.
	We don't take any money from commercials or advertisers or any type of underwriting.
	We're listener-slash-producer-sponsored.
	And we encourage anyone to go out, use all of our logos and everything.
	We're open-source.
	We don't care.
	Broadcast it on your pirate station.
	Whatever you want to do.
	And just try and send us some of your cash if you make any money on it.
	So these are...
	The package contains a lapel pin and a Noagenda 101010 Super Karma 42 medallion.
	And this is for sale for $42.42.
	So check that out at noagendasuperkarma.com.
	Then we have...
	Here we go.
	This is a note sent in from one of our younger producers, 21 years old, up in Gitmo Nation, Great White North.
	I just had to share this one with you, John.
	I went to my parents for supper as they were hosting a meal for my dad's coworkers.
	After everyone was settled and talking, I opened my laptop to finish your Thursday show.
	And as I was playing it, you said in the morning, everyone actually stopped talking.
	My dad asked me to shut the effing thing off.
	Being 21, of course, I decided to keep on listening.
	And then eventually three out of five of the couples got up and left at...
	After another ten more minutes, the remaining two couples left.
	My dad looked at me, told me to get the hell out.
	He's never been this angry at me before in all my years living with my parents.
	So something in the podcast is spooking them.
	Oh, he says, where do my dad and the husbands of the couples work?
	Well, none other than at the CSIS. Which I think is the Canadian Secret Intelligence Services.
	So they were listening to us, like, assassinating everything they do, and they got all pissed off and huffy.
	I think it's just funny.
	That is good.
	I like that.
	That's great.
	Get those guys off!
	Shut up, slaves!
	Shut that laptop!
	And then we have a Naggers meetup, or there will be several Naggers meetup scheduled on 10-10-10.
	This is also in the show notes, noagendashow.com, under the links that rock.
	Naggers, of course, stands for No Agenda Global Gathering of Excellent Resources.
	And this is a Google map.
	It's kind of like a meetup thing, I guess.
	Yeah, it is meetup.com, actually.
	What am I saying?
	It takes you to a meetup.com site where you can meet up with other excellent human resources who listen to No Agenda on 10-10-10 and have a drink and challenge each other with your coins.
	And I did just want to mention briefly that the No Agenda Demographics study is out July 10th through this first week of September.
	Have you seen the results, John?
	It's quite interesting.
	No, I haven't looked at them since we looked at the first one.
	Okay, a couple highlights.
	10% of the audience is female.
	Sounds about right.
	Yeah, once again, we are in the sweet spot of demographics, 29 to 38 being our largest demographic.
	But we do have, like, under 1% who are between the age of 69 and 89.
	Most suburban.
	Most have four years of college, 35%.
	A couple of interesting other tidbits here.
	I have donated.
	40% say yes.
	Well, that's a lie.
	This is interesting.
	I started listening to No Agenda because I was following Adam Curry, 17%.
	I was following John C. Dvorak, 56%.
	And a friend suggested it 11%, other 15%.
	So the producers are doing quite a poor job of suggesting it to other people, as people are getting it just from some other place.
	And I think the other interesting statistic is down here at the bottom.
	Sexual orientation, which was based on the Kinsey scale, exclusively heterosexual, 83%.
	Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual, a whopping 10%, John.
	That, of course, is all the women.
	That's the 10% of the women.
	And 1% is exclusively homosexual who listen to this program.
	So I think we have a great demographic.
	I really, really do.
	Yeah, but we don't need a great demographic.
	No, it's just for us.
	It's just to look at it and go, hey, great demographic.
	Yeah, it is.
	And it also proves that you don't, you know, well, I think it just...
	Yeah, it proves that our...
	Who's the model?
	Our model works.
	Well, we don't really call it a model, John.
	We actually call it a formula, and it's the most favorite jingle, by the way, according to the chart.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Hell yeah!
	All right, everybody, say it with me now.
	Shut up!
	Hey!
	So again, thanks to Executive Producer for this episode, Sir Paul Couture.
	Associate Executive Producers William Macy, Peter Niesink, and Jessica Risterer for supporting the show.
	And I believe we do have a couple nights coming up later on, which is always exciting.
	And there you have it.
	Well, where do we begin?
	Well, there's a...
	You know, I'd like...
	How about this?
	How about this?
	Since we were talking about the Challenge Coins...
	I saw a commercial on television yesterday, and I went through the trouble here of recording a clip.
	Have you ever read the Roald Dahl story, Slaughter of the Lamb?
	No.
	Well, you know Roald Dahl, right?
	Fantastic writer who always has a little weird Roald Dahl-esque twist at the end.
	It's about a woman who kills her husband with a leg of lamb, a frozen leg of lamb, and then the cops come in, and she's like, oh, a burglar did it, and she says, you know, I have a wonderful roast here, so while you guys are investigating the crime scene, would you like some roast lamb?
	And, of course, she's serving them the evidence.
	And they eat the evidence, so she never gets caught, which is kind of the funny bit of the story.
	So I see this commercial yesterday, and I immediately think of that story about eating the evidence, and this whole thing really, really grossed me out.
	This is the USS New York, built using 7.5 tons of steel salvaged from the World Trade Center.
	Now, it appears on our officially authorized 10th anniversary September 11th commemorative, featuring separate sculptures of the USS New York and the World Trade Center towers, inset with jeweler precision on its obverse, entirely clad in .999 pure silver actually recovered from beneath the ashes of Ground Zero. entirely clad in .999 pure silver actually recovered from beneath Now, watch as this historic three-piece commemorative transforms to a magnificent standing sculpture of the World Trade Center with the USS New York sailing past.
	The commemorative base is clad in 14 milligrams of pure 24-karat gold.
	Then, the USS New York and the Twin Towers are clad in 14 milligrams of.999 pure silver.
	Priceless silver recovered from ground zero.
	This private, non-monetary commemorative will never be released for circulation.
	Alright, so there's another minute of that.
	I'm like, this is a complete outrage.
	They are selling the evidence.
	The silver, which apparently can withstand jet fuel much better than steel can.
	This is news to me.
	The silver was recovered from ground zero and they melted into coins.
	Of the USS America, whatever that is, the ship that was apparently made of the steel, Well, you know what?
	The silver they're selling is pretty much when the fire began and the people that were left in the building, their fillings all melted.
	You're horrible.
	But this is actually, I think it's the FBI. Yeah, it's Department of Justice, Federal Bureau of Investigations is selling these coins.
	The FBI has sanctioned them.
	You get a triple...
	What's the FBI got to do with sanctioning any coinage?
	But it is available now through this special offer for collectors only.
	To mark the 10th anniversary of September 11th, it is double dated, 2001 to 2011.
	It is minted under exclusive license of the United States Secret Service Uniform Division Benefit Fund, which...
	They license hats, too, I'm told.
	The ones that say FBI across the top.
	It really irked me looking at this.
	Yeah, I mean, the USS New York is what it is.
	The ship that's made of the steel.
	The evidence is floating by.
	Hi!
	Hi, there's the evidence.
	There it goes.
	We'll never know exactly what was wrong with that steel, will we now?
	There's the evidence.
	Oh, it's in my coin, the silver.
	It's just, abhorrent is the word.
	Abhorrent.
	Totally abhorrent.
	We need a jingle.
	So we're, uh, abhorrent.
	No.
	Maybe Jeff can do a better job.
	Um, yeah, but so to me, that's just like eating the evidence.
	I think it should be done to the tune of tomorrow, tomorrow.
	Abhorrent, abhorrent.
	Yeah, that's a good one.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Jeff can do that for us.
	Crank that out and it won't be flat.
	Okay.
	I'm like that joke of yours.
	Let's start with this.
	You want to just go right at it with real news?
	Oh my goodness.
	Oh, you're calling me out.
	And now, back to real news.
	Okay, I think I can handle it.
	Nancy Grace did the best job of bringing down the house with the Paris Hilton story.
	Paris Hilton, busted for cocaine this weekend on the Vegas Strip.
	I'm happy to be a part of it.
	She was riding in her boyfriend's car.
	They were on the Vegas Strip.
	She said, yes, the cash, the credit cards, the albuterol in the purse were hers, but not the coke.
	I have a lot of other projects in the works, so...
	Unleash the lawyers, joining us tonight out of L.A., high-profile lawyer Gloria Allred, Daniel Horowitz, famed defense attorney out of San Francisco, and Carmen St.
	George, defense attorney joining us out of New York.
	Wait a minute.
	We're going to listen to four minutes of this?
	Wait a minute.
	Okay.
	Gloria, it never ends.
	Wait, wait, stop.
	Nancy Grace, I'm not going to say that she would be using anything herself, but she sure sounds like she's got a cold...
	It never ends.
	And by the way, when she originally...
	That bitch, she got away with my coke.
	...did time.
	It was for violation of her probation.
	Kind of a similar situation to Lindsay Lohan in that regard.
	Now she's charged with a felony possession of a controlled substance.
	Yeah.
	I had a whole conversation with Mickey about this last night, and my recommendation is Paris Hilton needs to get a reality show.
	If I were her manager, I'd say, girl, you know, this is not the way to get in the news.
	You need a reality show.
	This is not going to work.
	No, I agree.
	I think she's screwed up on this deal.
	But what we want to listen to, we're going to listen to these short little snippets from the three lawyers and then Nancy Grace goes ballistic on Horowitz as if like, what is the problem?
	You'll see.
	The problem is I'm listening to this crap.
	You have a point, right?
	It's real news.
	She's in big trouble.
	Back to you, Ellie Jostad.
	The judge in this case, what did he say about her bonding out?
	Well, the issue here is that she was released on her own recognizance in this charge, but we're hearing that the judge there Does not want celebrities to think that they can come to Las Vegas and commit any kind of illegal activity.
	So we're hearing that there's not going to be any sort of plea bargain with her.
	And that because she's had probation revoked before, in the DUI case that Gloria alluded to, and she also in that case failed to attend some alcohol education classes.
	That could be another grounds for not giving her straight probation here.
	Why Dana Horwitz?
	I don't see what she's done wrong.
	She bothered nobody.
	She was hurting nobody.
	Why pick on her just because she's famous?
	Look, Nancy.
	That's not what I asked you.
	Can you just try to focus, alright?
	Put it back in the middle of the road, Daniel.
	Daniel, stay to the script because this is supposed to distract people.
	This is supposed to get them ready for scram bracelets.
	You don't have to start with your closing argument just yet.
	I'm asking you about what Ellie just had just reported.
	That last time she was behind bars for a violation of probation and she did not complete her drug and alcohol classes last time, which are considerations for the DA giving probation in this case.
	Yeah, I know.
	But look, Nancy, it's in my interest for her to have a felony conviction and be in jail.
	I represent somebody who's being charged with burglarizing her house.
	When she takes a stand, that will help me.
	Oh, this is the guy who's representing the millionaire burglar twats.
	It turns out to not be the case.
	That's what's so funny.
	Oh, really?
	But I'm still telling you that she's just an ordinary person in this respect, and they're treating her differently because she's famous.
	You're representing that guy that broke into Sapir Sultan's house?
	Not the recent guy with the knives.
	This is a young kid who just wanted to steal her clothing, and they want to give him lots and lots of years in prison.
	You know what?
	So it's in my interest, but that's not the point.
	I don't even want to hear that.
	Treat her like a regular person now.
	What would he want, her underwear?
	John, tell me, what is the point?
	What is the point?
	It's just this vapid...
	No!
	I can't listen to this anymore.
	And Nancy Grace is nuts.
	How does this woman stay on the air?
	Well, because she's doing her job.
	She's bringing this to the masses.
	People think this is important.
	This is prime time.
	She asked a question, then she says she doesn't want to hear the answer.
	This is ridiculous.
	This is what it's all about, man.
	I told you like this.
	This is the Paris Hilton story.
	I mean, we need a distraction.
	The Paris Hilton story is what it's all about.
	Let's make a prediction.
	Paris Hilton gets it.
	The case gets thrown out.
	Las Vegas.
	No, I think Scram Bracelet.
	I'm going for Gitmo Jewelry.
	My prediction is a new version of Gitmo Jewelry that detects Coke.
	Okay.
	Good luck.
	Yeah, it must be something like that.
	Okay, you're going to predict Jewelry, and I'm going to predict Thrown Out.
	I'm now writing down the predictions, because we do so many of them.
	Oh, yeah.
	Why don't you put that right next to your book?
	It's right here, right next to the book.
	Yeah.
	Where's the book?
	Oh man, the book is gone.
	Hey, the missing foots meme continues.
	Yeah, I noticed.
	And we also got some notes about it.
	Yeah, well, the notes I got is one we have...
	So we had these missing foots showing up in Gitmo Nation Northwest right near...
	Coincidentally, near the Dvorak compound where you're writing your manifesto.
	So in Brighton, burnt body found on golf course near Brighton.
	Uh...
	With one foot missing below the shin.
	And in Gitmo Nation Lowlands...
	What was the way...
	Do we have any...
	What the deal was with this burnt body?
	Because this sounds to me like spontaneous human combustion.
	This is true, but then do you think like a dog just made off with a foot?
	I don't know.
	Maybe the foot blew off.
	Yeah.
	In Gitmo Nation Lowlands, dogs, interestingly enough, found a foot right near a harbor.
	And the cops are now investigating the water with sonar.
	Seems like they can find a shoe.
	So there's something with these individual foots showing up.
	It's a worldwide meme.
	And I think we need to keep our eye on it, John, because something is afoot.
	There will be another wash-up in the Vancouver area, or I'm sorry, the Victoria, Canada area.
	I'm probably within the next three or four months, and we'll report it.
	Well, who knows?
	I mean, it could literally be anywhere in the world, and our show definitely...
	Well, you know, that's the one thing that's interesting.
	It's possible that this foot thing is happening in more than one place, but it's only being reported locally.
	Exactly.
	Well, of course, because it's just a foot, right?
	It's like no big deal.
	But when you put it all together, which we can do on a show like this, it becomes interesting.
	Because then it's like, hey, wait a minute.
	People are getting their foots cut off.
	For some reason.
	Yeah.
	It has to be a reason behind it.
	It's just too weird.
	No mention of whether there was a tennis shoe or other form of sports shoe attached to the foots in the lowlands and in Gitmo East.
	Because they don't know how to report on it yet.
	They haven't quite tracked it that it's all about the sports shoes.
	Big...
	Man, this would almost fall under...
	This would almost fall under trains good, planes bad, but it doesn't quite.
	Miami International Airport shut down on, what was that, Friday or Saturday?
	I think the night on Friday to Saturday, for seven hours.
	And when you hear the report, it's quite disturbing, because it's clearly just to get us all freaked out and afraid of a bioterror attack, this being National Preparedness Month.
	Screeners spotted a canister inside the luggage of a scientist that eventually turned out to be a legitimate experiment.
	This scientist who's 70 years old, once spent time in prison nearly a decade ago for illegally shipping vials of deadly bubonic plague bacteria.
	Which, of course, a scientist does.
	But now listen to the report, and I'll tell you what really bothers me about this.
	Hold on, here's CNN.
	The most news in the morning.
	CNN's American Morning.
	CNN, everybody.
	The airport is open, that is the good news, but it was closed for about eight hours, starting about 9 p.m. last night.
	What happened was this.
	Screeners in the customs area found a suspicious package with, according to airport authorities, multiple items that look suspicious in that package.
	Immediately the airport was evacuated, about a hundred passengers.
	It was a slow period that time of night at the airport, so very few flights impacted.
	But four concourses were closed down, and flights that did come in had to be diverted to a couple of the open concourses.
	As you mentioned, one man was detained.
	Now, a source has told CNN that the man is an American and that he has a history of criminal prosecutions and incarcerations, and that is what ramped up concern by local and federal authorities here.
	We believe and we know the man was taken into custody.
	We do not know if he remains in custody at this point.
	We do know that the bomb squad has cleared the situation.
	It was not a threat as far as we know.
	So again, the airport is open, but there were about eight tenths hours here where the airport was virtually shut down.
	Okay, so here's the way it's reported.
	It's reported as a possible pipe bomb.
	This is also in this CNN written report.
	And I'm thinking, okay, so customs officials, Catch a guy with something that looks like a pipe bomb in his suitcase.
	What happened at airport security on the other end before the guy left when he put his bag on the plane?
	They don't screen these?
	When you fly internationally, at LAX, I've got to stand there and wait for an hour while some jabroni TSA jerk-off, one by one, painstakingly takes my...
	You don't just have to check in and put your luggage on the belt.
	No, you've got to take your luggage to the big scanner.
	They're not scanning the luggage anymore.
	No, they find it at customs.
	And then it's like, oh, it's bubonic plague!
	Oh, I could have blown it to bits and we'd all die of bubonic plague.
	This is a setup.
	Total setup to get us all worried about biological warfare.
	How easy it is for someone to blow us all up or blow up some bubonic plague and kill us all.
	Either that or just out and out incompetence.
	No.
	Not a single cop is on camera anywhere talking.
	Not a single airport official...
	This is bullcrap.
	This is a setup.
	It's National Preparedness Month.
	You watch.
	You watch.
	This will expand.
	This will expand into, oh, well, you know, this is so easy for a terrorist to detonate a bubonic plague pipe bomb.
	Just watch.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	I'm going to write this one down.
	You're writing it down now?
	Bubonic plague.
	Prediction.
	So I was trying to find a clip, and I can't find it anywhere, but it's all over the newswire.
	Well, not CNN, of course, but all over the newswires.
	So they had this handover of, they changed from Operation Iraqi Freedom to Operation New Dawn.
	Yeah.
	And so Vice President Biden was there, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates was there, and at a victory base, I might add, at How lame are we as Americans?
	We're at Victory Base here in Baghdad.
	Victory Base compound.
	And he said to reporters the following quote, which I cannot find anywhere.
	I looked at C-SPAN, at the C-SPAN video archive.
	Who is he?
	Robert Gates.
	Okay.
	He says...
	The problem with this war for many Americans is that the premise on which we justified going to war proved not to be valid, he said, before a ceremony in Baghdad.
	Even if the outcome is a good one, from the standpoint of the United States, it will always be clouded as to how it began.
	Can't find this quote anywhere.
	Anywhere.
	And by the way, the C-SPAN video archives has a huge robots.txt file.
	It doesn't get indexed by anybody.
	Something else I don't understand.
	You know, the transcripts that they have?
	Who's?
	What site?
	The cspan.org video library.
	The C-SPAN video library has robots on there?
	Yeah, huge one.
	Well, that's a good find.
	Well, I was irritated because I'm like, how come...
	Why wouldn't you let the robots do their thing?
	Yeah, here it is.
	Disallow, Tioma, Gigabot, Scrubby, Robozilla, Nutch, IzArchiver, BadeUpsider, Yahoo, MMCrawler.
	I mean, everything.
	Everything is being denied.
	Isn't that exactly the point of having transcripts?
	Is it that it can be indexed, or is it just to read?
	Hmm.
	Interesting.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, so there you go.
	The war was not valid, according to the guy who was part of the administration that declared it.
	The guy should resign right now.
	He was a part of the Bush administration.
	It wasn't valid.
	Yeah, but he wasn't Rumsfeld.
	Yeah, but he was in there.
	He was in the administration.
	Well, I have a clip for you.
	Okay.
	What you got for me?
	It's the clip.
	Gates is the best.
	And we're not talking about Bill.
	Right.
	I want to mention who...
	Where's my little show?
	Here it is.
	This is a C-SPAN book writer, or book comment.
	They have a guy interviewing him, some Lawrence...
	So it's C-SPAN 2.
	Wilkerson's.
	Some colonel's interviewing David Kilcullen, who's apparently a consultant to the Pentagon and everybody in between, and just came out, and he's a book writer, and his latest book, Counterinsurgency, is out, and he spent a long time with very interesting stuff.
	This is a very long clip.
	You don't have to play the beginning.
	You can stop it whenever you want when he goes into Gates, which is right off the bat.
	But you can go back to it later in the show if we get bored, because it's actually got a lot of interesting intelligence stuff in it.
	Okay, here we go.
	And know how the budget is volatile and goes up and down and knows the Congress and so forth, knows the military-industrial complex, Lockheed Martin, Grumman, all the guys that make F-22s and things that don't fit into this scenario.
	We don't believe there's enough coin there.
	To do both.
	To be able to maintain the fighting force that would go against, say, some ungodly coalition of China or whatever in the future over water and oil.
	And do small more stuff.
	I was on the way to the pause button.
	Water and oil.
	Wow.
	But is this Afghanistan?
	The discussion is about whether or not we need to do any of this counterinsurgency fighting at all.
	In fact, it was suggested by the author, and it was something I've always thought about, is that...
	You do what we did with Afghanistan after 9-11.
	We just bomb the crap out of them.
	And the idea would be just bomb the crap out of them and kill everybody you can that's part of the regime and then get out of there.
	And then if they come back, go back and kill them and do the same thing.
	And you don't send troops.
	Hell with it.
	Yeah, that's a fine plan, John.
	Let's just go bomb everybody.
	Screw them.
	Screw them.
	No, screw them.
	Just bomb them.
	Anyway, he goes on with this Gates thing.
	Keep playing.
	Talk about what you said, and don't do it.
	Don't do the small war stuff.
	I mean, if you can't do it well, and you don't need to be doing it, don't do it.
	What do you think about a decision like that?
	I think it's been made at the highest levels in this government.
	Well, let me just, and I know that the Secretary of Defense doesn't ever watch C-SPAN, and no one from DOD watches C-SPAN. You know why?
	He's listening to our show, so he doesn't have to.
	I'm not going to watch C-SPAN. Those jerk-offs with no agenda will tell me what to watch.
	Matt, you're still employed.
	No, well, I'm not.
	I don't work for the government.
	But listen, I just want to tell you, and I may not get a lot of disagreement, but I think that Secretary Gates is the best Secretary of Defense.
	That the United States ever had.
	And I mean, I am a student of history.
	And I know he has other motivations.
	I love it when people, that's a great one.
	We should use that a lot more often ourselves.
	I'm a student of history, John.
	I should know.
	It's like, it validates immediately, doesn't it?
	I should know, because I'm a student of history.
	And you have to say it with that accent.
	You know, I'm telling you, we're going to have a bio-terror attack warning.
	Because I'm a student of history.
	I know this.
	You can write it down.
	I do not think we've ever seen his like.
	He's basically non-partisan.
	He's a patriot who committed at the darkest hour of Iraq to help out.
	And he's a guy who's just been very close.
	Was he sending over blankets?
	How was he helping out?
	He's fired and very effective in making that whole big bureaucracy work and produce stuff for the warfighter and also follow the direction of now two presidents with very different views.
	And he's doing what Rumsfeld tried to do and failed.
	Rumsfeld tried to take on the Lockheeds, the Raytheons, who were not only building products that had cost overruns that were on...
	Tried to take them on?
	Who is this guy?
	Rumsfeld didn't try to take on anybody.
	Wow.
	Unbelievable.
	But bad products.
	Right.
	And there's only one way to take that monolith on.
	You've got to take them on indirectly.
	So he's doing that.
	So I think he's just an awesome Secretary of Defense.
	And I think Admiral Mullen is just a phenomenal chairman as well.
	Yeah, because I'm a student of history.
	And what those guys have been talking about, and I would also add Michelle Flournight to that mix, who's the most senior woman ever in the Department of Defense.
	Alright, so just something interesting, the chat room has got...
	Michelle Flournight, is that her name?
	Yeah, the best part of waking up is Michelle Flournight in my cup.
	The chat room has got onto the robots.txt file from C-SPAN. Here's something interesting.
	C-SPAN is blocking everything except Google.
	But when I search in Google, have you ever seen a C-SPAN video transcript pop up as a result?
	No, there must be something going on.
	Have you tried a site?
	Search those, site, colon, cspan.com?
	No, I'm sure the chat room will try it out.
	See if they can find it.
	Chat room, go for it.
	MSN is allowed, but it's delayed.
	They get a delay, so Google gets priority over indexing, but Google never shows me any results.
	I don't search for anything else.
	They never show me anything.
	That's peculiar.
	Well, it doesn't surprise me, really.
	Should we listen to more of this, Students of History?
	Yes, well, a little bit.
	The leadership team is just really solid.
	Those guys have been talking about rebalancing.
	That's the term they're using.
	Saying, look, we have to rebalance in two different dimensions.
	One, we've got to rebalance between the wars we're fighting now and the future wars we might be called upon to fight.
	So present versus future needs to be rebalanced.
	I can't listen to it.
	Fuck him.
	Actually, I've learned something very important about Afghanistan.
	And once again, I'm not going to do it yet, but it does fall under the heading.
	Anonymous writes us, I've been wanting to send you a story for months, but have been reluctant to do so since I don't have any documentation to back it up, but I have some information from a civilian working for the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.
	The U.S. Army is building a brand new railroad in what this person calls a mountainous foreign country.
	He said he couldn't say where it is, but I could probably guess.
	What was most interesting, he said this was going to be a for-profit railroad operation.
	It would be from the border of the country into the interior of the country.
	And, of course, this is very interesting that the U.S. armed forces are building a for-profit railway.
	So then you go do a little Google search.
	Afghanistan to build 200-kilometer railway.
	This is from the 8th of July.
	Officials in the Ministry of Public Works say they have started the technical studies of a 200-kilometer-long railway connecting Afghanistan with Pakistan.
	Next one.
	Afghanistan finally gets its first railroad.
	This is from June 4th.
	Construction has begun on the first real railroad in Afghanistan's history.
	A 50-mile link from neighboring Uzbekistan to the northern Afghan city of Mazar-e-Sharif should be finished by September.
	And then just a whole bunch of these, including Kenneth L. Bird, who is...
	Is he from Canada?
	Where is he from?
	Where's Sedalia?
	Is that Canadia?
	I don't know.
	I'll look it up.
	Anyone who has seen the videos and photos coming from Afghanistan over the past nine years will no doubt feel that bringing that country from its current 14th century status into the 21st century is an impossible goal.
	Culturally, the country is a collection of ancient tribes loosely wedded by the traditions of fundamental Islam.
	This is a whole story about how we need to build a railroad.
	And what is going on?
	Well, they obviously need to move something from point A to point B. I think gemstones.
	Isn't that it?
	Gold, gemstones.
	There's got to be something in them hills.
	Because I'm sure it's moving it out and not in.
	Oh, yes.
	Moving it out.
	Definitely moving it out.
	But we're building that.
	Yeah.
	Unofficial report.
	Uncorroborated.
	But we have lots of servicemen and women listening.
	So if you know about it, let us know.
	I just thought that to be...
	That's what our army does now.
	Yeah, we build stuff for other people.
	And protect poppies.
	Yeah, so we can ship stuff out.
	It's just amazing to me.
	Maybe the heroin business is so big now that they need a train to get it out of there.
	The president was propagating the train meme.
	In his presidential address.
	Which, by the way, he's back on the chroma key, John.
	I guess he couldn't make it to the White House.
	He had to do it in the studio.
	And that's really funny because his right ear is shiny and the background starts to get keyed on his ear.
	It's a little annoying.
	And then on the close-ups, his right eye, it looks like it's bloodshot.
	It doesn't take that much work to get that right, you know?
	Apparently they can't get it right.
	This is his Labor Day speech.
	Is that true?
	you.
	Did we get taxed?
	Were companies rewarded for doing that?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Wall Street firms turned huge profits by taking, in some cases, reckless risks and cutting corners.
	All of this came at the expense of working Americans, who were fighting harder and harder just to stay afloat, often borrowing against inflated home values to pay their bills.
	Ultimately, that house of cards collapsed.
	So this Labor Day, we should recommit ourselves to our time-honored values and to this fundamental truth.
	To heal our economy, we need more than a healthy stock market.
	We need bustling main streets and a growing, thriving middle class.
	That's why I'll keep working day by day to restore opportunity, economic security, and that basic American dream for our families and future generations.
	You know, he's what he's going to do.
	First, that means doing everything we can to accelerate job creation.
	Yes, jobs.
	The steps we've taken to date have stopped the bleeding.
	Oh.
	Investments in...
	Let me look at my arse.
	No, I'm still bleeding out of it.
	You're wrong.
	Boats and bridges and high-speed railroads that will lead to hundreds of thousands of jobs in the private sector.
	Yay!
	Hundreds of thousands of jobs!
	It's amazing!
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	Yeah!
	Hundreds of thousands of jobs by building high-speed rail.
	It rocks.
	It totally rocks.
	You know, I was looking at the train going past the tracks down the bottom of the hill.
	And, you know, one thing, I thought about this for a while, but then I decided that maybe I'm not thinking about it right.
	In fact, the train's going by now.
	So, the Burlington Northern Santa Fe, the BNSF, which is the...
	That's the Warren Buffett just purchased that this year.
	Most of it.
	I've always, you know, remember the old Santa Fe's and they used to show the things as chrome and beautiful.
	Yeah, they look hot.
	Yeah.
	Shiny and they were painted and they were gorgeous.
	We'd go down to the railroad track just to watch it go by.
	And these things, these engines that BNSF have, look like they just, they look like they've never been washed.
	They're rusty.
	They look like crap.
	And I'm thinking, this operation has no pride.
	They have no pride whatsoever.
	I'm always reminded of the two.
	When I worked in the oil refinery game, Union Oil has this refinery over in Rodeo, which has got the...
	Not as owned by a different...
	Basically, they sold to some conglomerates, a different company now.
	But in those days, they were very proud of their refinery, and they'd paint everything.
	And they used to paint the oil tanks different colors.
	They were pink and blue.
	They were all pastels.
	It was very weird to drive...
	Passed them on the freeway.
	And Standard Oil over here in Richmond, they just let their tanks rust.
	They didn't paint them ever.
	And I talked to the refinery guys about this, and one of them said, well, they did a calculation.
	It turns out that if you always maintain the tanks and paint them, it costs X amount of money over X amount of time.
	And if you don't paint them and you just let them rust and you have to rebuild them over and over again...
	It turns out to be a wash in terms of what it costs you.
	So one company decided to just to hell with it.
	We just let it rust.
	But they didn't show any pride.
	And they came up with this very unique solution.
	Standard Oil, instead of putting up a new tank painted white, they put up a new tank and painted it rust-colored.
	Which was genius.
	Anyway, so I always assumed that there was some lack of pride with BNSF, but now that this high-speed rail thing is going on, here's what I'm now thinking.
	They're not going to bother.
	They're going to let these things rust away because they don't care because once high-speed rail is in, they're going to end up with those engines.
	Those new, slick, fast engines, and they're going to get them all, and they're going to be looking good, and they're going to be using those high-speed tracks to move freight.
	And they'll be sponsored by our tax dollars.
	Yep, the whole thing will be paid for by the U.S. government.
	Makes a lot of sense.
	Makes a lot of sense.
	Actually, I think I had a note here about that.
	I guess I can't find it.
	The actual detail.
	They want double-deckers.
	So the specs for the United States high-speed rail trains.
	You know why?
	Well, because you need to be able to transport coffins.
	Because the new cargo containers, the new ship containers, they stack them one on top of another, and they want them to be as tall as possible.
	So if they build for double-decker passengers, the tunnels will be big enough to carry the freight.
	Right, you can do full sea containers.
	Yeah.
	Oh, right, makes sense.
	Hey, I figured it out.
	I figured out the Paris Hilton thing.
	It just took me a moment to connect the dots.
	I've got it.
	When was she arrested on this charge?
	Just at the very end of last month.
	Now, whitehouse.gov, August 31, 2010.
	Each day brings new opportunities for personal growth, renewal, and transformation to millions of Americans who have chosen to forge a path toward recovery from addiction to drugs or alcohol.
	Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Therefore, I, Barack Obama, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution, blah, blah, blah, hereby do proclaim September 2010 as National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month.
	There it is.
	We needed to make people aware.
	And who better?
	Of the Gitmo jewelry.
	You can't deny the timing of it.
	No.
	It's perfect.
	Get it into the public with Paris Hilton.
	Get her with some Coke charge.
	And then prepare everyone for the bracelets.
	Perfect.
	Perfect timing.
	Well, that's depressing.
	No, it's not.
	It's just nice to know these things.
	This is what we do.
	Our job is to help people understand the propaganda that passes for news.
	That's all.
	It's not that hard.
	Before we go to our thank yous, I do have a propaganda piece that I want everyone to mull over for a while.
	As soon as I saw this piece, I said, this is bull crap.
	It's a human interest story that was obviously packaged by somebody, and it's not even well done.
	The packager, which is like a video press release, the guy doing the voice, he's not even professional in his presentation.
	But the package ran on the local news, KPIX, and it's about a little boy who came up with this great idea to help the soldiers.
	By buying a pack of coffee at Pete's?
	Essentially by putting together snack packs.
	And the whole thing is just so much bull crap that, you know, I mean, to make anyone think that this could actually have occurred, some little boy went up to his mom and says, Mom, I want to send every soldier in Afghanistan a snack pack.
	Oh, wow!
	Let me call the newspaper and we can make a big deal.
	This whole thing is some sort of a setup, but I'm not absolutely sure what, unless it's just to promote the name Snack Pack, which I think is a trademark of some craft or one of these food companies.
	But the whole thing is, I'd like people to mull this one over, but it's a definite piece of human interest propaganda.
	I don't even think it's that well done, but it is pretty funny.
	Finally tonight, a community-wide effort underway in Sacramento to say thank you to our troops.
	The idea to send snack packs to give them a taste of home.
	The brain behind the effort, a kid named Jack.
	Alan Sanchez introduces us to this very thoughtful little boy.
	A few dozen people came out to the Waterloo restaurant today to help out seven-year-old Jack with his cause to send troops overseas some snack packs.
	I just want the troops to, like, feel better, have them have a little taste from home.
	Jack's passion for the snack packs for the troops is contagious.
	Wait a minute.
	Well, I'm sorry.
	It's a snack pack website.
	So, wait a minute.
	Did you hear what this kid said?
	Yeah.
	To give them a taste from home?
	Right.
	Poor kid.
	They forced the script into his brain.
	What?
	Here's the other thing.
	This package is done so poorly that this Sanchez, whoever this guy is doing the voiceover and doing the report, he's over-modulated and it's like distorted.
	It's the snack pack.
	It's the snack pack.
	A little taste from home.
	Jack's passion for the snack packs for the troops is contagious.
	Organizers are overwhelmed with support.
	I just think it's amazing the support that people continuously give, you know, knowing that, you know, there are men and women over there, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers that are over there every day.
	There's a lot of items in the Jack's snack pack.
	There's cookies, there's hand sanitizer, there's peanuts, there's gum, but it's the message that they're really trying to send over to troops that's most important.
	That they know that the people back home are thinking about them and that we care about them and that we know that they're over there and that they're not forgotten.
	One thank you letter that Jack receives says it all.
	The sergeant's even similar is like the one who said that when I gave my troops their snack packs, their eyes lit up like it was Christmas.
	Well, the community says it plans on more snack drives in the future.
	Yeah, you know why it's overmodulated?
	Because this is indeed one of those PR packages that's produced.
	They send it out and they have their local guy do the voiceover.
	And of course, you know, they're so not used to actually producing anything that they couldn't get the levels right.
	Let's see.
	Snack pack.
	News and promotions.
	Let's see if they've got it.
	Sorry.
	Not currently running any promotions.
	Interesting.
	So there's something up with this.
	That's the Snack Pack website.
	The Snack Pack website makes a lot of racket.
	It does.
	It's clearly not the right one.
	Now I'm curious about this.
	Yeah, I am too, because it was just out of the blue.
	It was a bogus story.
	I think anybody who listens to this show more than two or three times can spot these things now.
	And it's human interest, and it's a feel-good story because of the little kids involved.
	Oh, yeah.
	It was cute, by the way, of course.
	Oh, hold on a second.
	Oh, hold on.
	Here it is.
	Jack Snack Packs.
	Wait a minute.
	Oh, because his name is Jack.
	Oh, they got him wearing a little uniform now.
	Oh, I didn't see this.
	Give me the look.
	And he's saluting.
	Oh, my God.
	This is to get the kids used to being in the military.
	That's right.
	Here's the link for you.
	Oh, my goodness.
	This is horrendous.
	Let's see.
	Jack's Snack...
	He starts singing to his cousin.
	Oh, okay.
	Gum, Slim Jims, microwave popcorn, Gatorade, and...
	Nice.
	Here he's from Modesto.
	In the other story, he was from Sacramento.
	Yeah.
	By the way, I guarantee you, I guarantee you, John, I guarantee you, if our producers will keep their eyes peeled, you'll find, like, a young Pennsylvania boy decided to put together snack packs.
	You watch.
	They're going to have a different kid in every different state with a snack pack.
	Yeah, now see, they had a big meeting outside the Save Mart in Modesto.
	He's got a Facebook page.
	I can assure you that Modesto is not walking distance from Sacramento.
	Let's see.
	And he's always apparently did a fundraiser at 14th and Isidore in Manteca.
	Kids on a tour.
	Kids on a tour.
	He's got to have a t-shirt.
	Doesn't he have to go to school?
	Well, in about a week, he does.
	We obviously support our servicemen and women on their misguided mission, but holy moly, this is just sick, Alan Sanchez.
	From Good Day Sacramento, we'll be broadcasting live.
	Another kid's wearing camo in this report done out of this other station.
	Yeah, this is bogus.
	But there's something behind it.
	I mean, there's got to be some more bigger payoff than just a feel-good story.
	There's got to be somebody's benefiting.
	Well, Slim Jims and Gatorade and gum.
	Slim Jims.
	Yeah, Slim Jims.
	And microwave popcorn.
	That's good for you.
	Nice and healthy.
	I wonder, maybe it's one company that makes it, who knows?
	Well, we'll see.
	So, an article that was emailed to us a lot as we kind of get into our donations here, I know irked you to no end, about the possibility of Howard Stern going on the internet.
	And I would just like to say something here.
	I think that if he does that, and he's kind of taking an idea that I... Put into his ear, although I'm sure it wasn't exclusively me, because in fact I didn't say do subscriptions on the internet.
	I didn't say that.
	I said I think that you could do it.
	I think that if he moves to the internet and decides to charge for subscriptions, it will fail.
	And here's why.
	And this is something very interesting that I... kind of an epiphany I had after reading...
	I finished this book yesterday called Fortune's Fool, which I think I've talked about on the show before.
	It's about Edgar Bronfman Jr., the heir to the Seagram's fortune, who basically sold off all the booze...
	And bought into the music business.
	Entertainment business, but primarily the music business.
	And so the story, which has a million footnotes, it's really well researched, so I think the numbers are pretty accurate, as accurate as they can ever be in the music industry.
	But you see that essentially the music industry is just gone.
	It's dead.
	There's no more albums being sold.
	And then it hit me last night.
	It's like, people are willing, if you give...
	A piece of plastic, a round disc of someone, and say, hey, this is 40 bucks.
	It's something people can hold in their hands, and they go like, yeah, okay, yeah, that's 40 bucks, I get it, that's worth it.
	If you give someone a Monet, which, let's face it, it's just like some mud on canvas, and say it's a million dollars, and someone holds it in his hands, wow, yeah, that's a million dollars.
	You give someone a hundred dollar bill, which is nothing more than a piece of paper with a number printed on it and a signature, and And people can hold it in their hands like, yeah, it's like valuable.
	But when you distribute it through the internet, it has no value.
	People don't assign a value to it.
	This is like apps.
	I see millionaires looking at the app store going, oh man, $1.99 for that app, that's kind of expensive.
	I don't think I want to spend that much money on an app.
	So it's anything that is distributed.
	It's true.
	I kid you not.
	It's true.
	It's funny.
	Well, most people, they don't even spend a nickel for an app.
	They want them all free.
	They want them all free because it has no inherent value.
	So the only way to create value online is what we're doing.
	Make sure it belongs to everybody.
	Everybody does something to support it.
	One of the ways, of course, is Paul Couture who actually sends out something physical.
	I mean, is this coin really worth $33.33?
	No.
	What is it?
	Is it made of nickel?
	I don't know what it is.
	In fact, you can get the silver from the Twin Towers cheaper.
	But it has a value when you're holding it in your hands, and then we're delivering an experience which is very valuable to people.
	Music has been around for a million years.
	But the ability to understand media, to have your eyes open, to be able to assassinate what is happening, to enrich your life, that is something of value that we are transferring through the internet.
	It's the only way to do it.
	But if you start charging people for it, by subscription and trying to lock down the distribution, it just doesn't work.
	Now, it's not working that great for us yet, but I think we're on to something.
	Because people are supporting the show.
	I think we have the right idea, and I think the open source thing is a positive in this regard.
	I think we, because people, I mean, we don't have, you know, if somebody just took a look at the no agenda system, Not at all.
	Not at all.
	Couture, by the way, who does this kind of design work might actually force people to use a common look, at least for some of the stuff.
	But it's not even important.
	The fact of the matter is it looks like a big operation, and in fact it is, but it's all volunteerism and kind of reverse support.
	Instead of us paying for somebody to put up a website, they put up a website and pay us, which is because we don't have any other means of support.
	We're essentially – it's kind of a – it's almost like lichen.
	You have a – what's it called when plants and fungus live together?
	Tasty.
	So we have a symbiotic relationship with our listeners, and that's one of the reasons that we do ask for their support.
	And we do give credit where this is due, and let's name a few people that gave us some money this week, including John Snyder, Sir John Snyder, as a matter of fact, out of Chicago, $92.
	Glenn Jansen says, Feet 2, F-I-T-O-U, which is actually a wine-growing area.
	It says, Feet 2, N-Y, France, so I guess it's...
	Get Monation Stinky Cheese.
	Yeah, I think so.
	It must be.
	But that's a very nice...
	That wine is a really good wine to have.
	Very inexpensive, tasty barbecue wine.
	F-I-T-O-U. 6644, which is probably some translation of some amount of euros.
	Vivian Hingsburg in Burlington, Ontario.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	She says...
	She has a birthday to give to.
	We'll do that in a minute.
	We'll do that in a minute.
	She also wants to give me a donation.
	Payback for the karma for my last donation.
	I recently left my good job paying with a horrible commute for a lower paying job that allows me to work from home.
	So even though the money will be tight, only my husband will continue the brutal three hours a day commute.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Three hours.
	Which means this is to the show.
	Three hours a day.
	Well, think about it.
	We deliver three hours of daily source code a week.
	So that's one day.
	And we deliver four hours of no agenda, so that's two...
	He could probably stretch it out, you know?
	So we're probably helping him through three days of the week, but only one way.
	Only one way.
	That's a long commute.
	That sucks, yeah.
	I mean, we essentially do four hours a week, and we assume that people probably commute about four hours total a week.
	Total, yeah.
	Because our show is pretty much designed for people who are stuck in their cars.
	Yeah.
	In fact, we have people that have complained because they now have a shorter commute and they can't listen to the whole show.
	By the way, John, I'd love to hear more about your decision to homeschool.
	I used to be completely opposed to it, but my feelings in the matter are changing.
	Maybe you can talk more about it the next time you guys do a special edition type show.
	Thanks for all you do so we don't have to.
	That's Vivian.
	Well, I can answer that for you.
	Just look at his kids, Vivian.
	In the best colleges, your son is designing microchips.
	Hello.
	Your daughter is going to one of the top universities in the land.
	Well, she's in high school, actually, but she will be.
	Now she's thinking about Stanford, which would be good.
	And she makes nice cakes.
	She is a baker.
	I know.
	She bakes nice cakes.
	She's the only one in the family.
	I like to cook, but...
	Well, you weren't homeschooled.
	It's tedious.
	You weren't homeschooled in the log cabin.
	I guess you had to do something in your spare time.
	Terry Hayman, Baytown, Texas.
	Double Niggles on the Dime.
	Brandon Keer, Langley, B.C. One time, 55 Double Niggles on the Dime.
	Art Stanton, Cumming, Georgia.
	First time donator.
	Love the show.
	He's trying to get other people to listen.
	Travis Wynn, of course, is still on his knighthood route.
	Rich Masta Computer Services, is that what this is?
	Yeah, I think so.
	He's in Ontario.
	Sarnia, I guess.
	Ontario.
	Ontario.
	$50.
	Bradley Leiden.
	Leiden.
	Leiden.
	Fayetteville, Arkansas.
	Go Razorbacks.
	David Sharp.
	London.
	United Kingdom.
	Wow, we finally got someone awake there.
	It's unbelievable.
	They really don't buy apps, by the way.
	No one buys apps in England.
	They don't buy them.
	The British are out of it.
	I mean, I think we get very little.
	In fact, even our listeners, we probably have more listeners in Germany than we do in England.
	We just don't get a lot of support there.
	And India, of course, is the other worst case scenario.
	They all speak English, but nobody cares about anything.
	They don't care about nothing.
	Jacqueline Walsh, Falls Creek, Pennsylvania, $50.
	You guys are amazing, she says.
	Amazing!
	I've only been listening to your show for a few weeks now and it's completely worth donating money to.
	Keep up the good work and I look forward to tuning into your show in the future.
	Thank you.
	Value for value.
	Nice.
	And then we had a number of $42, 10-10-10 donations.
	We'll put them in a list eventually, but we do have a couple of birthdays that are in there.
	Did you get the updated spreadsheet?
	If not, there's two that you have to add to the birthday thing.
	I can do it when we start the birthday.
	Yeah, you can do those.
	I've got a couple others here on the list.
	And that wraps it up.
	Really?
	Okay.
	Let me just see if I had, before we get to the birthdays, Crackpot and Buzzkill says Brad Ledden, who's on our list, who donated.
	Please give a big douchebag call out to NPR. Our national trade!
	This morning I was listening to NPR while getting ready.
	Since I've been listening to No Agenda, I've started paying attention to the advertisers on NPR. He's got it right, the advertisers.
	Friday I heard that REI is an advertiser.
	Of course, REI makes fine outdoor camping gear.
	Not but five minutes later, there was a story on camping gear.
	I'm donating because I get better information from you guys.
	I put a link to the story below, but I can't seem to find a list of corporate advertisers for NPR. No, you will never find it under advertisers.
	It's called underwriters is the term you're looking for.
	Okay, let's hit this, Supes.
	I mean, let's hit this one.
	There we go.
	It's your birthday, birthday!
	I don't want you to do them, John, because I'm completely confused.
	Okay, well, we've got a couple birthdays here.
	We've got Kayla Costello.
	Was this a birthday or just a call-out?
	Well, maybe it's not her.
	Okay, let's try this one.
	Happy birthday, Adam.
	Somebody from the Netherlands.
	In fact, it is, let's see, Marinus von...
	Marinus.
	Marinus.
	Van Opzeeland.
	He's a ship at sea.
	How can I even get close?
	Wishes you, Adam, a happy birthday.
	Thank you very much.
	That's probably a he, by the way.
	Marinus.
	Yeah, sorry.
	I knew that.
	Is that it?
	And then we've got Jessica Reisterer wishing boyfriend Bill from Gitmo Oberland.
	We mentioned that earlier.
	A happy birthday.
	And Vivian Hingsberg is a happy birthday for September 4th, which is yesterday.
	Let's do it.
	Okay, then I have...
	Hey, John and Adam, I love No Agenda.
	I've been listening for a long time.
	I don't need to be deduced since I'm a Deuce Club member, but was hoping to get the birthday song played during September 2nd for No Agenda 231.
	You mentioned my contribution in Paul's birthday shout-out to Adam, but not mine.
	Maybe PayPal screwed up my notes, so...
	Here's what she did.
	Contribution of $187.27.
	$9,363 for my birthday, $9,363.
	And $9,364 for Adam's birthday, $9,364.
	I thought I'd just mention the numerology, so we appreciate that.
	That's from Terry Heyman, No Agenda Deuce Club member and Minuteman and Challenge Coin Holder and Future Knight.
	And then, hello Adam, says Glenn Jansen.
	I just sent a $66.44 donation to No Agenda IP. Hey, pal, asking for a birthday.
	It's your birthday thingy, but forgot, I think, at least I can't remember, to give any details whatsoever about who she is.
	I would be most grateful if you could call her out on this coming episode of No Agenda.
	Geraldine will be the birthday girl.
	My name is Glenn.
	I'm from Fitu, there you go, south of France.
	That is the Gitmo Nation foie gras, as he says it.
	So there you go.
	All the birthdays done in order.
	People really have to put these in their PayPal notes.
	It's a mess.
	No, it's actually becoming annoying.
	It seems that every year somebody has the same birthday again and again.
	I hate that, how that happens.
	All right, we do have a couple of knighthoods.
	Let's get to those as quickly as we can.
	We've got some black knights, which we have not taken care of, so I'd like the two black knights to step forward.
	These are knights who have...
	Donated appropriately and shall receive ringage accordingly.
	However, we have just, for some reason, not done the accounting properly.
	We really do our best.
	Hey, we're a small operation here.
	We only have one meeting a year.
	Hugh Wilson and Ara Dardarian.
	Please, actually, Ara would be a dame.
	Not necessarily.
	Well, according, well, what is it now?
	Well, I'm going to do Hugh then.
	Oh, who would like to be called Huge?
	Hold on.
	I have here in the spreadsheet, it says Black Dane.
	Then it would be a dame.
	It's going to suck if it's a knight and I'm doing it as a dame.
	Now I'm really worried about that.
	This blows.
	Well, era is...
	I mean, like era Parsegian seems to be a classic...
	Well, I don't want to mess it up.
	I don't want to mess it up.
	Well, we can put...
	It's a black...
	He or she is a black knight.
	Well, we can do he or she on Thursday.
	Let's find out on Thursday.
	I don't want to mess it up.
	I have to have a smaller sword if it's a dame.
	I don't want to be hurting her or anything like that.
	No, it's a guy.
	Let's do Hugh Wilson.
	Please step forward.
	John, I need your sword.
	Huge sword.
	Hugh Wilson, thanks to your donation of at least $1,000, you have now become...
	An official member of the Roundtable.
	So here it is!
	Hugh Wilson!
	You are now Sir Hugh Wilson, Knight of the No Agenda Roundtable.
	Step on over.
	Enjoy our hookers and blow.
	And let's do Matthew Fanning, who is a Knight in the Order of the Mint.
	Thanks to Paul Couture's NoAgendaFans.com.
	John, draw your sword for this one.
	Here you go.
	No, that was mine.
	Here's mine.
	Matthew Fannin, kneel before us, thanks to your donation of $33.33, but of course you are in the Order of the Mint, therefore $1,000 has been donated in your name.
	We now pronounce the Sir Matthew Fannin, Knight of the No Agenda Roundtable in the Order of the Mint.
	Please enjoy some hookers and blow.
	So I still haven't heard if Arab is a knight or a dame.
	Well, I'm looking it up.
	I want to do it on Thursday.
	I want to do it on Thursday.
	Yeah, we will.
	But if it's an Arab name, it's a female name.
	But if it's an Armenian name, it's a male.
	Yeah, well, we just don't know.
	The last name looks Armenian to me, but then again...
	So it could be either way.
	We have to get a confirmation, because obviously this name, Ara Parsegian is the best example of the era, male, and then if you do a wiki lookup, it's a female Arab name.
	So I don't know.
	At least you'll learn something.
	Yeah, we certainly will learn something somehow.
	So, Dvorak.org slash NA, we need all the help we can get.
	Go there and give us some love.
	Yeah, we have our special $42 10-10-10 donation drive.
	Don't forget, noagendafans.com is where you can find the 10-10-10 coins.
	We've got our $33.33 monthly donation for the boarding pass.
	Any donation you would like to give to support the show is welcome.
	We're kind of dwindling.
	We do pick up a lot of you.
	We have a lot of $10, $15 donations that come and go.
	And we do have a lot of subscribers.
	Yeah, the $5 a month.
	Five dollars a month, but they keep dropping off as they come on because of the nature of that whole thing.
	But we appreciate all these people, every one of them.
	If you get, you know, empty your PayPal account, don't go to dinner once a week.
	There's all kinds of ways you can come up with some money for...
	Or do a snack pack drive for the show.
	Do anything.
	The distraction of the week on the old agenda.
	So I think I found the don't look over here, look over there moment.
	Everyone emailed the Pentagon declined to investigate hundreds of purchases of child pornography.
	So everyone emailed this story.
	Like, oh, these bastards!
	And essentially what the Department of Defense said at the Pentagon is, we just didn't have enough resources.
	Literally, human resources to investigate the 264 individuals who are downloading porn.
	Now, first of all, I'm not against porn.
	And there is no mention of child pornography that I can see.
	And I think porn at the workplace can be quite healthy in certain cases.
	I do not advocate that because you may have different rules at your workplace.
	But I believe this is a cover-up, John, and this is no coincidence that this is now all of a sudden this Freedom of Information Act is out there.
	Oh, now we know.
	Oh, those bastards, they're downloading porn on our dime, on our time.
	Porn, porn, porn.
	Because what has happened in Gitmo Nation Cork, known as Portugal, this is the real news that you don't have.
	And, of course, I only received one link to this story.
	Six-year trial, Portugal's high society pedophile ring rolled up.
	Did you know about this?
	Nope, I didn't read anything about it.
	So this was a pedophile ring which included a former ambassador, a prominent television celebrity, thousands of orphans who were literally used in this orphanage as a shop A shop, I tell you, for these pedophiles to go and shop for kids.
	Finally convicted, or at least found guilty.
	They have not been convicted yet.
	But there were thousands and thousands of pages of testimony.
	I think it was, what's the total number here?
	I believe it was 800 witnesses and experts gave evidence.
	4,500 people since 1998 through 2003 involved.
	639 crimes confessed confessed Confessed by one of these pedophiles.
	Let me just give you that number again.
	639 crimes confessed by just one.
	And so it finally came to a halt, but of course this is just the tip of the iceberg.
	And again, there it is.
	It's show business, it's business, it's government, and it's Portugal.
	What else did we have in Portugal a couple years back, John, which I'm sure will come back on the radar?
	Port?
	Madeline McCann.
	Remember little Maddie?
	No, I don't.
	Yeah, this is the British girl who went missing.
	Oh, right.
	Dude, this is a hotbed.
	Portugal, yeah, drugs may be illegal, but oh, man.
	So here's the AP report.
	Seven people convicted of child sex abuse in Portugal on Friday.
	Major trial lasted nearly six years.
	Shocked the country.
	The six men and one woman were found guilty of crimes including sexually abusing minors and adolescents, raping children, running a pedophile ring at a state-run children's hospital in Lisbon during the 90s and the early 2000s.
	The woman whose house was used by the ring was not given a custodial sentence because of a 2007 change in the law.
	No mention what the change is, but of course since the law is involved.
	And this also includes the 53-year-old former driver of the children's home, Carlos Silvino, who confessed to those more than 600 crimes and gave evidence against other defendants.
	I guarantee you that this is just the tip of the iceberg and this news which came out yesterday.
	Or the day before yesterday, is meant to be covered up by this Pentagon story because, of course, we have pedophiles all over the justice system and in the highest levels of government, and the other hotbed is Gitmo Nation Lowlands.
	So, Pedo Bear still rules, but a small, minor victory, although it's going to be covered up.
	You know, I haven't heard about this one on the news anywhere.
	Have you, John?
	No, they don't cover anything like that.
	The big news is that you can't get a hooker on Craigslist anymore.
	This is the most ridiculous story ever.
	It's like, it makes no sense.
	Not only that, but it's an inconvenience.
	I'm going to probably do a column for PC Magazine on this.
	It's an inconvenience.
	Well, it's an inconvenience.
	This is why I promoted the idea for years, at least since the early days of the Internet, of getting a.xxx domain name.
	And I think that's why the red light districts exist.
	You want to push the hookers.
	There's going to be hookers.
	Oh, yeah, it's illegal.
	The hookers should be over where hookers go.
	They should be, you know, in a room.
	Hookerville.
	Yeah, in Hookerville.
	And you take them, you close Hookerville, and they start gravitating all over the place.
	So now you'll be looking up, buying a used refrigerator, and you're going to get some hooker that's going to have an ad.
	Oh, a refrigerator.
	And by the way, for 40 roses, you can, you know.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	This is what the ad will be.
	Hot pockets over here.
	Get your hot pockets, everybody.
	So they're going to be all over the place.
	They should have left.
	John, how do you know about these 40 roses?
	This is true.
	This is what hookers use.
	Yeah.
	40 roses.
	By the way, give me the address of the 40 roses.
	That's cheap.
	So anyway, the hookers have been pushed into the...
	Now they're going to be floating around in the mainstream part of the website, you know, where you're looking up for cars.
	It's going to impact kids, children.
	Think of the children.
	Yeah.
	And I don't know.
	Yeah, no, you're absolutely right.
	And of course, there's still plenty of hookers available on Twitter.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, well, what Twitter does, they have these...
	What's the hash code?
	If you search for, I think, Eros, E-R-O-S, you can subscribe to a feed, and this feed essentially, whenever one of these hooker websites updates, which is just escort websites, then you get the latest four postings in your Twitter feed.
	Then they got pictures and everything.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Who knew?
	Wow.
	Ladies and gentlemen, everybody learned something from this show.
	Now, I know we have a lot of men listeners.
	You learned something very valuable there.
	Dvorak.org slash NA. ChannelDvorak.com slash NA. I think we should start talking about our donations in roses.
	Thank you for the double roses on the bud.
	Yeah.
	Hey, maybe that's the way to do it.
	So do you want to go to the big news story, it seems?
	I just sent you a bunch of links.
	I hate to be the one to bring it up.
	Well, let me take a look.
	Because there are a couple of big news stories.
	Well, this is the big one for the second episode.
	Gee, yeah, let's do this one.
	This is good.
	Go ahead, because it's your story.
	Residents phone 999 dozens of times over ghosts and UFO worries.
	Apparently there's been an invasion of UFOs around the world.
	I think it's mass hysteria, of course, but whatever.
	Let me just read from the telegraph.co.uk, the telegraph newspaper.
	Worried residents phone 999 to report sighting of ghosts and UFOs, including a man who claimed to have seen the spirit of actor Paul Newman.
	Yeah, man, that shit ain't funny.
	That's true.
	Officers say one emergency call came from a man who rang police claiming to have seen the ghosts of two old ladies in a white fiesta on a dual carriageway.
	Other worried calls came from people who spotted ghosts or poltergeists on CCTV cameras, and another said he'd seen a ghost which could make me a million quid.
	Dozens more calls are coming in.
	And there's story after story, and they're all over the place.
	And apparently B.C. Canada is another place where a bunch of these sightings occurred all at once.
	Well, I'm looking at this UFO over Shrewsbury.
	Oh, well we have some video here, John.
	It's a bulletin.
	Hello, welcome to today's news bulletin from the Shropshire Star's headquarters here at Ketley in Telford.
	Thank you for joining us.
	My name's Andy Richardson and our lead story tonight.
	Shropshire Star video journalist James Shaw had a shock when he spotted a UFO. James saw strange lights above the streets of Shrewsbury and dashed to the scene.
	He'd been returning from Shrewsbury Town's clash with Coventry City when he spotted the lights over the Otley Road area.
	He managed to film this bright orange shape...
	Which appeared to float around 70 feet in the air for a few minutes before disappearing.
	It's like a hexagon, this particular craft.
	This is what our man James had to say.
	This is what you always ask, James.
	How come there's no good...
	This is good video.
	Have you seen this?
	Yeah.
	This is good-looking video.
	It was a close encounter with the UFO last night.
	Hi, it's just after 10 o'clock.
	come back from the Shoe Piton game in the early on the A5.
	I have not been drinking.
	From the new Shoe Piton ground over towards Telford.
	I've just seen something in the sky.
	It could have been a Chinese lantern.
	It was red.
	It's like some sort of flame in the sky.
	No, that's not a Chinese lantern.
	The Chinese lantern thing is overused as a lame duck excuse.
	They're real.
	Everyone knows they're real.
	That's obvious.
	Oh.
	No, let me tell you what's really happening up in our skies, okay?
	This is what's really going on.
	Yeah, here we go.
	Yeah, here we go.
	First, there were eyes on the street, and now there are eyes in the skies.
	The Director of National Intelligence has given the go-ahead for the nation's spy satellites to be used regularly by U.S. civilian agencies and law enforcement.
	This is a development all Americans should have great pride in because it expands.
	Are you proud, John?
	Oh, I'm so proud.
	I'm so proud of this.
	We are so advanced.
	I'm so proud.
	It uses national technical systems, which we've built for tens of billions of dollars over many decades.
	Spy satellites have primarily been used overseas to monitor things like war zones and terror training camps.
	They've also been used domestically.
	To look at hookers!
	Sparingly, during events including Super Bowl games, presidential inaugurals, and hurricanes.
	Homeland Security officials say the satellites will now be used to protect borders and critical infrastructure.
	Which includes ports, and looking at potential vulnerabilities and threats, as well as consequences of attacks.
	Next in line, law enforcement agencies, which are...
	What did he say?
	Consequences of what?
	Of attacks?
	Yeah, that's what he said.
	Consequences of attacks.
	Next in line, law enforcement agencies, which are expected to start using them next year.
	While they can provide crucial high-resolution images, there are limits to what these satellites can do.
	They can't see faces, and they can't listen.
	Right.
	They can't see faces.
	Now, this is the whole system.
	See, the setup is you go through the airport scan, right?
	They get all your biometric data, and now they're blatantly coming out and telling us, now we're using the satellites to spy on you, and they don't need to see your face because they've got your biometric profile.
	It all fits together.
	It's so simple.
	Local law enforcement.
	But the sheriff can make a call now.
	Hey, I gotta check in on that guy's backyard.
	We gotta see what's going on.
	I can't see his face, though.
	I can't listen.
	At least, that's what the government claims.
	But privacy groups worry that because there's so much we don't know about their capabilities, they could be misused.
	And we wouldn't even know it.
	The question always comes down to what are the standards, are there checks and balances, and is this a power that we would trust the executive branch to use without any outside scrutiny or oversight or control?
	You know, if you have nothing to hide, John, then we have nothing to be worried about, right?
	Right?
	Yeah, we just had a murder of crows go over the house.
	Homeland Security officials insist that they are subject to a great amount of oversight and review, but in many ways this is just one more case of a government figuring it out as it goes in the war on terror.
	Oh, the war on terror.
	Oh, it's war on terror.
	It's war on terror.
	So here's what I think these UFOs are which are all over the place.
	Predators.
	Predator drones?
	Very possible.
	Very possible.
	I think that could be...
	They're low if they're flying down at 70 feet, but it's so hard to guesstimate height when you're looking up.
	Yeah, especially the Predator drone is missized.
	Yeah, it's almost impossible.
	You know, it's like judging a 747 speed at, you know, when you see it, it looks like it's going two miles an hour.
	But the drones are small, and there's all these new devices that they've developed that are drone-like by all these other companies, these private companies, and they're selling all those to law enforcement.
	And a lot of them have lights on them, and there's all kinds of possibilities here.
	But there's no doubt about it.
	We're going to be surrounded.
	I mean, this is going to be Gitmo Nation surveillance.
	Particularly in the United States.
	It's bad.
	But they're just coming out and saying it.
	Just so you know.
	Hey, we're not going to look at your face.
	You should be proud.
	Yeah, we're not going to look at your face.
	Just your penis.
	Don't worry about that.
	We're not interested in you.
	We're a pedo bear.
	I always wonder about that blimp, the Goodyear blimp that flies around L.A. here.
	Why does that thing fly?
	Is that like, you're telling me that's a good commercial for Goodyear?
	Like, have you ever bought tires and you thought, oh man, blimp tires.
	Has that ever worked for you?
	No.
	So what are they doing with that blimp?
	You see it when they, do you got the one that lights up, that's got the messages?
	Well, that I can understand, but still it doesn't seem like, you know, I don't know.
	It floats around during the day here all the time, just floating around.
	You can't fit a whole bunch of people in there.
	It's not like a great tourist attraction.
	What are they doing on that thing?
	Everyone's like, hey, it's the blimp!
	Meanwhile...
	Hey, Kipmo Nation's Stinky Cheese, there's a nice propaganda piece that I found from Dale Hurd, who now exclusively reports, this is like an old school guy, total ministry of truth, in fact he is from a ministry, he now exclusively reports on the war on terror, and he does that for CBN. John, are you familiar with CBN? Christian Broadcasting Network?
	Yes, the Christian Broadcasting Network.
	And they have such a lying sack of shit piece that I wonder if the actual subject of the piece is true or not.
	So they're going to talk about this guy who has an alias called Maxime Lepante.
	And he bought an undercover camera to film this on the streets of Paris.
	And the undercover camera consists of a high-definition camera with the sides blurred out to make it look like it's undercover, which is clearly done in the package itself.
	If you go to YouTube, Maxime LePant's channel, he has not a single video uploaded, only other videos from other people.
	So that's a lie.
	But listen to a bit of this piece, because what is actually going on may be disturbing, but it's certainly taking into account that it's the Christian Broadcasting Network.
	I think it's a big propaganda piece.
	But interesting, since we do have a couple of producers in Gitmo Nation's Stinky Cheese, maybe they can give us some of the truth.
	This is a Friday in Paris, filmed by hidden camera.
	The streets are blocked by a huge crowd of Muslim worshippers, and it's enforced by private security.
	This is all illegal in France.
	The public worship, the blocked streets, and the private security.
	But the police have been ordered not to intervene.
	It shows that even though some in the French government want to get tough with the Muslims and ban the burqa, other parts of the French government continue to give Islam privileged status.
	An ordinary French citizen who was watching the Islamization of Paris decided that the world needed to see what was happening to his city.
	So he bought a hidden camera and started posting the videos on YouTube.
	You can get that on Craigslist.
	Hidden camera for sale.
	And literally, the video, they have just blurred out the sides of the 16x9, so it looks kind of hidden.
	Yeah, their videos, apparently there was some controversy over somebody wanting to put a mosque someplace, and so there's a whole neighborhood of Muslims that decided to basically shut down the streets six times a day during prayer.
	Oh, so that's not mentioned in this story.
	At all.
	They're just saying it's happening everywhere.
	Muslims are just taking over streets and putting down their mats and praying.
	Yeah.
	Well, they are in that one area.
	And this has been documented to an extreme by people without hidden cameras.
	I know.
	There's tons of photographers walking around.
	Yeah.
	You don't need a hidden camera.
	If you're in the area and you've got your video camera, you can film the whole thing.
	Nobody cares.
	It's not like a big secret.
	Let's put it that way.
	But the punchline of the story is that Parisians are fighting against this Islamization of Paris, and they're doing that by holding pork and wine meetings on the street.
	There's some truth.
	I understand that's true, too.
	They have been in the same neighborhood as a bunch of shops.
	These guys are irked by the fact that the foot traffic is just annoying.
	They can't get cars through there and the rest of it.
	So they've been having a lot of pork festivals.
	This can't end well.
	No, no, it's going to be a riot of some sort.
	But, you know, there's France.
	I mean, this kind of thing goes wrong.
	It's going to end in tears.
	And, you know, this is the country that, of course, wants to ban the burqa.
	And I think a lot of those scarves and burqas, I think they're sexy.
	Yeah, you probably would.
	I do, because you know that they're wearing all kinds of hot stuff underneath.
	Yeah, that's what you would think.
	I know they are.
	I know this for a fact.
	So I ran into a new Shantix commercial.
	Oh, luckily they're back.
	Two whole minutes.
	Okay, so Shantix, ladies and gentlemen, who are new to the program, is a drug that should be outlawed, but yet has been just passed right on through by the FDA.
	It is a smoking cessation drug, which basically nukes your brain.
	It is effective.
	You will stop smoking.
	However, you will also wake up naked in a garden of an unbeknownst location to you.
	If you're Mel Gibson, you will probably go crazy on the phone and drive off the road.
	And many people have been known to commit suicide and or be killed while on Shantix.
	Now, here's the question.
	You know, we have a number of listeners who gave us personal anecdotes.
	And you have one, of course, because Mickey had tried the drug.
	Yeah.
	But we had a number of listeners that have sent us notes about the stuff.
	And I never thought about this before, but I think I'm going to just put this out.
	Has anybody who normally listens to our show ever used Shantix with good results?
	I hear crickets.
	Anyway, here's the new Shantix commercial.
	Now, the difference between this one, they've got a different woman telling her tale, but all along, unfortunately, we can't do this on the radio, which is there's a bunch of these messages written out.
	Shantix, you know, stops.
	There's a bunch of them, which you don't get to see, but you get the gist of the whole conversation.
	Now, this is a double buy, because typically they have a minute of which 45 seconds is all the good stuff, which actually makes you buy it, which is the disclaimer.
	The disclaimers.
	Yeah, the anal leakage, weird dreams, make sure you're okay before driving or operating heavy machinery, make sure you know the effects of Shandix.
	And of course, all the while, we know that the, was it 32 or 37% of people who took the placebo had the same results?
	And actually stop smoking when Shantix was tried.
	Yeah, they have the number.
	I think it's 44%.
	It's affected on 44%, but 18 of those percentages were given a placebo.
	So basically the effectiveness is about 30% net, which is lousy.
	Yeah.
	All right, so this is now a two-minute commercial, so they've upped the ante.
	It's a fight.
	John, we're fighting against them, and it looks like they're winning.
	Oh, we're losing, too.
	Exactly.
	My name's Lisa and I smoked for 29 years.
	The one thing about smoking is it dominates your life and it dominated mine.
	I honestly loved smoking and I honestly didn't think I would ever quit.
	It was very interesting that you could smoke on the first week.
	Chantix is a non-nicotine pill that stays with you all day to help you quit.
	In studies, 44% of Chantix users were quit during weeks 9 to 12 of treatment compared to 18% on sugar pill.
	It's proven to reduce the urge to smoke.
	I did have an unopened pack of cigarettes in my purse.
	I said, you know, bye.
	I don't need you anymore.
	You're not my crutch.
	I don't need a crutch.
	Ask your doctor if Chantix is right for you and find out how you can save money on your prescription at Chantix.com.
	Some people have had changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood and suicidal thoughts or actions while taking or after stopping Chantix.
	If you notice agitation, hostility, depression, or changes in behavior, thinking, or mood that are not typical for you, or if you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, stop taking Chantix and call your doctor right away.
	Talk to your doctor about any history of depression or other mental health problems, which can get worse while taking Chantix.
	Some people can have allergic or serious skin reactions to Chantix, some of which can be life-threatening.
	If you notice swelling of face, mouth, throat, or a rash, stop taking Chantix and see your doctor right away.
	Do not take Chantix if you've had a serious allergic or skin reaction to Chantix.
	Tell your doctor which medicines you're taking, as they may work differently when you quit smoking.
	Chantix dosing may be different if you have kidney problems.
	The most common side effect is nausea.
	Patients also reported trouble sleeping and vivid, unusual, or strange dreams.
	Until you know how Chantix may affect you, use caution when driving or operating machinery.
	Chantix should not be taken with other quit-smoking products.
	Chantix dosing may be different if you have a kidney problem.
	Chantix dosing may be different if you have kidney problems.
	Oh, nice.
	With the Chantix and with the support system, it worked for me.
	Talk to your doctor about Chantix.
	Find out how you can save money on your prescription and learn terms and conditions at Chantix.com.
	Nice.
	Sounds groovy.
	Long, long, long.
	Yeah.
	How can we save money?
	So, did you go to the site you can find out there?
	I want to mention a couple of things, and I have another drug commercial we could play, which will kind of exaggerate this.
	I don't know where these people live, but I don't know very few people that can, if something, some little thing happens, you call your doctor that the doctor's ever going to answer.
	Yeah, no.
	We know this.
	We know this.
	And there's a worse ad for this.
	I've got another one called Angliza, which is a diabetes drug that makes it sound as though...
	Apparently, you have to be the doctor telling your doctor a bunch of stuff.
	Just play this commercial, and it has a...
	It makes you wonder if this guy...
	It's like the doctor should be telling you that you have some of these issues that they want you to tell the doctor about, if you know what I'm trying to say.
	If you have type 2 diabetes, you struggle to control your blood sugar.
	You exercise and eat right, but your blood sugar may still be high, and you need extra help.
	Ask your doctor about Unglyza, a once-daily medicine used with diet and exercise to control hot blood sugar in adults with type 2 diabetes.
	adding unglyza to your current oral medicine may help reduce after me of blood sugar spikes and may help reduce high morning blood sugar.
	Unglyza should not be used to treat type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis.
	Tell your doctor if you have a history or risk of diabetic ketoacidosis.
	Unglyza has not been studied with insulin.
	Using unglyza with medicines such as sulfonylureas may cause low blood sugar.
	Some symptoms of low blood sugar are shaking, sweating, and a rapid heartbeat.
	Call your doctor if you have an allergic reaction like rash, prides, or swelling of the face, mouth, or throat.
	Ask your doctor if you also take a TZD.
	As swelling in the hands, feet, or ankles may worsen, blood tests will check for kidney problems.
	You may need a lower dose of Unglyza if your kidneys are not working well or if you take certain medicines.
	Ask your doctor about adding Unglyza.
	Extra health, extra control.
	You may be eligible to pay $10 a month for the Unglyza Value Card Program.
	The commercial is not a great one, but how do you tell your doctor that you have diabetic ketoacidosis?
	Hey doc, I've got that.
	Wouldn't he be telling you that?
	I mean, wouldn't he know that if he's your doctor?
	I don't know.
	I don't know what it is.
	I don't know what it is either, but how would you be telling him?
	The whole ad has got...
	And there's a lot of these assumptions that, oh, just call your doctor.
	Just call your doctor if you've got it.
	You're swelling up like a balloon?
	Just call your doctor.
	He's got nothing else to do but take your call.
	Because it's just a legal requirement to say that.
	That's all.
	So Shantix is $30 off if you download the coupon.
	Oh, that's a deal.
	Yeah, yeah, that's good.
	It's probably stuff that probably costs hundreds of dollars.
	But the real good stuff is going to our vets coming back from Iraq.
	The FDA and the Drug Enforcement Agency officials have said, yeah, it's okay.
	We're going to start treating our troops who were there for a misguided bullshit war for poppies, trains, and oil pipeline.
	We're going to start treating them for post-traumatic stress disorder with ecstasy.
	What?
	Yep.
	Where did you get that one?
	From Wired.
	Yeah, MDMA. That's right.
	That stuff's not good for you.
	I've never done it, actually.
	So I have no idea.
	I've never done it because it's not good for you.
	Apparently you get all lovey-dovey.
	Yeah, well, I know somebody who used to use it all the time, and every time she was on it, I would call her out.
	You would call her over, you mean?
	Yeah, but she was usually with somebody.
	I'd call her out on it because it was like nobody smiles that much with a goofball look.
	Is that it?
	Is that the giveaway?
	The goofball look?
	It's a total giveaway.
	It's like a big smile and a goofball look.
	Like this?
	Oh, really?
	But no, I mean, lots of people love it.
	They're like, oh, it's fantastic, and they like to go out and party.
	But I do understand that after the effects wear out, then you, like, crash really hard for a couple days, which seems like not worth it.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, no, nothing.
	Yeah, these drugs are not healthy.
	So most certainly these will be veterans from Iraq or Afghanistan because longer duration of post-traumatic stress disorder means more complicating factors, says Dr.
	Mittenhofer, adding he does anticipate enrolling four vets from earlier wars and is still accepting applications.
	So we can still get in.
	Dr.
	Drugs.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Well, that's not good.
	It's just going to cause more suicides.
	You know, it doesn't say...
	Well, either that or just a whole bunch of zombies walking around giggling.
	Yeah, that could be.
	Gooseballs.
	And this is Wired, of course, an extension of the Ministry of Truth.
	Of course, the Pentagon's still struggling to better diagnose and address post-traumatic stress disorder, most recently with a cutting edge...
	Cutting edge?
	72,000 square foot research facility.
	Wow.
	You'd think that after like five wars, we kind of can recognize what it is.
	And then we have a cutting-edge 72,000 square foot research facility.
	You know what it is?
	It's like you put young kids near exploding crap and seeing their buddies get blown to bits.
	Yeah, that's what creates it.
	I don't need a cutting-edge 72,000 square foot research facility to find that out.
	Despite the military's gradual thaw on alternative methods to treat the disorder, Already they've funded everything from yoga and acupuncture to warrior mind training.
	Although the FDA and the DEA are all over it, top brass in the military have yet to fully endorse the use of MDMA. This is just dumb.
	Well, since we're on MDMA, I have a clip.
	Which I believe this woman is on MDMA as she's trying to speak.
	This is the incredibly vapid announcer on Burning Man special that was on current TV Al Gore station.
	Okay.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Here we go.
	Hello, all you beautiful humans.
	I'm Michelle Lombardo, and welcome to Burning Man Lives.
	Okay, so you've answered my question.
	This is what someone on MDMA sounds like.
	By the way, this woman is gorgeous, but she just seems like he's dumb as a firehose.
	And she's doing this from Burning Man?
	Is that the deal?
	It looks like a studio.
	Oh, it's a blue screen.
	Okay.
	Hello, all you beautiful humans.
	That's how I'm going to start the show on Thursday.
	Hello, all you beautiful humans.
	I'm Michelle Lombardo and welcome to Burning Man Lives.
	I'm so happy you can join me because over the next hour we'll travel to Nevada's Black Rock Desert for the Burning Man Festival.
	I'm so thankful to have the ability to take you on this journey because Burning Man has opened me up in many ways to the life that I want to lead.
	Oh baby, I'll bet it's opened you up.
	And I hope it does a bit of the same for you.
	That said, I figured why not jump right in?
	Literally.
	First up is a burner's take on a wedding.
	Skydive style.
	So, I have some news about Burning Man.
	They've got 80 cops undercover in costume roaming around busting people for, gosh, for taking drugs.
	Ha ha ha ha!
	Officials from the U.S. Bureau of Land Management and Pershing County Sheriff's Department cite a new study by the U.S. Park Police that concludes even larger police presence is needed.
	It should be 144.
	Mark Pirtle, I'm sorry, special agent in charge, says, I don't want my guys to be party poopers.
	They're not bad people, but they do like to use drugs.
	And you are still in a non-drug state here.
	So they are dressing up.
	It's like they're undercover.
	They're undercover in costume and they're busting people doing drugs.
	The whole point of Burning Man is to go to the desert where you can't hurt anyone and like take acid and MDMA and freak out for a couple days and then it's like a release.
	It's what the whole thing is about.
	This is not okay.
	Well, it's just the beginning of the interview.
	At some point in a few years from now, it'll be all cops busting each other.
	Yeah, really.
	1,900 burners have been cited by the BLM since 2001.
	That's actually not all that much when you think about it.
	What's the BLM? Let me see.
	It must be Burning Man something or other.
	BLM. That's weird.
	They just throw this BLM thing in all of a sudden.
	I don't see a reference to it earlier in the...
	I hate that, by the way.
	Writers out there take note.
	It's very annoying.
	Assuming that you know what BLM means.
	It literally does not say, John.
	BLM. Let me just do a search on this page.
	Let me see.
	I mean, they should have it, and they should be...
	In charge for the BLM. It should be like BLM or it should be like the acronym expanded and then in parentheses BLM, right?
	So they can reference the rest of the story.
	Let me do it a couple different ways.
	Anyway.
	It's wrong.
	It's wrong is what it is.
	I have one more thing that I think is semi-newsworthy.
	So...
	Oh, Bureau of Land Management.
	I'm sorry.
	The chat room.
	Of course.
	But they should put that in there.
	Yeah, they should.
	Thank you, chat room.
	Or they should have used Bureau of Land Management first and then just gone with BLT. It should have been BLT, says the drunk economist.
	Much better.
	So this is apparently the 40th anniversary of Geraldo's being in broadcasting.
	Nobody gave him a roast.
	Nobody said anything about it.
	Nobody gives a crap, to be honest about it.
	So Geraldo decides to throw himself a party and extol himself.
	On his weekend show, I just have the opening clip of it, but it's so ridiculous.
	It's like, you kind of feel sorry for the guy.
	I'm great!
	Hi, everybody.
	I'm Geraldo Rivera, and welcome to the celebration of my four decades in the news business.
	This is so sad.
	It's pathetic.
	Welcome.
	I matter.
	I'm relevant.
	There's nobody else involved in the show.
	Yeah.
	It has been a fascinating run and a dynamic, exotic, wonderful, often important, but frequently stressful and sometimes dangerous business that tends to wear out people more quickly than most jobs.
	And there aren't many still standing who started in that wild era when the civil rights movement had collapsed into urban chaos.
	The endless war in Vietnam was tearing our nation apart.
	Wait a minute.
	How old is Geraldo?
	Well, he started, he was probably...
	Started in 1970.
	If he started in 1970, he probably just got out of school.
	He's probably about 65.
	He's like really after, he's after the human rights movement.
	He's playing like he was there next to Martin Luther King.
	If you do the math, it's 1970, so he's trying to make it sound he was a little, you know, was involved earlier, you know, after I shook hands with Martin Luther King, that kind of thing.
	Richard Nixon was still president.
	The deaths of four students at Kent State University at the hands of Ohio National Guardsmen was accelerating the alienation of young people all across our country.
	And self-style rebels like me didn't trust anyone over 30.
	On television then, longer than most Americans have been alive, my entire adult life has played out in public.
	Many of you have watched my high and low dramas, my on-air triumphs like the long campaign to humanize the care of the developmentally disabled, and my not-so-triumphs like getting my nose broken and opening Al Capone's empty vault.
	So at limited commercial interruption, let the celebration begin.
	After the spring commercial interruption, back in a flash.
	I rock!
	I am awesome!
	That is just pathetic.
	And notice how he's like, not a single sponsor wanted to sponsor this piece of crap celebration, so it's commercial free!
	Oh, man.
	You know, roast or something.
	No, no.
	Yeah, roast him.
	That's what I said.
	Yeah.
	No, but put him on the spit and roast him.
	Like, really roast him.
	So someone sent me a list of the questions you must answer.
	To become a citizen of these United States of Gitmo Nation.
	And they pointed out one in particular, but let me just ask, I'll start at number 80, and I'll take it to 86, John.
	I think it's open-ended, so I don't know if it's not multiple choice.
	You have to actually answer the question.
	So let's see if you're worthy of being a slave of Gitmo Nation, shall we?
	Sure.
	Who was president during World War I? Wilson.
	Yes.
	Who was president during the Great Depression and World War II? Roosevelt.
	Yes.
	Who did the United States fight in World War II? Germany and Japan.
	Yes, and if you had said Italy, that would have been correct as well.
	Before he was president, Eisenhower was a general.
	What war was he in?
	Wow, World War II, this is pathetic.
	Do you notice a trend here?
	During the Cold War, these are in order, by the way.
	What was the main concern of the United States?
	Getting blown to smithereens by the Russians.
	That's right, but communism would be the correct answer.
	What movement tried to end racial discrimination?
	It says tried?
	Yes.
	The Civil Rights Movement.
	Yes, correct.
	85.
	What did Martin Luther King Jr.
	do?
	He was a preacher.
	That's what he was.
	No, no, no.
	What did he do?
	Answer the question, slave!
	He gave a speech.
	You're wrong, slave!
	He fought for civil rights.
	Well, we know that.
	You clearly didn't, slave!
	86, this is my favorite question.
	Wow!
	What major event happened on September 11, 2001 in the United States?
	They pulled down World Trade Center 7.
	Wrong, slave!
	Terrorists attacked the United States!
	WTC 7 won't go away!
	This is the most outrageous set of...
	This is what qualifies you to become...
	A citizen of Gitmo Nation, if you can answer these questions about war?
	Those are pretty brain-dead, too.
	And it's worse.
	I mean, it's factually...
	Being a student of history, John, many of these questions are factually just incorrect.
	For instance...
	Because I always thought the questions were like, who was the first president, which would be George Washington, although not really, but okay, it would be George Washington, and who was the 16th president, right?
	Those are the questions you think it is.
	What are two rights of everyone living in the United States?
	What are two rights?
	Yes, name two, slave!
	The right to assemble and the right to free speech.
	Yes!
	Freedom of speech.
	Answer the question in the corner of the question.
	What do we show loyalty to when we say the Pledge of Allegiance?
	Slave!
	Come on!
	What do we pledge to?
	What do we show loyalty to?
	The flag, of course.
	Yes!
	And what else?
	And the United States of America.
	Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
	What is the one promise you make when you become a United States citizen?
	To defend the Constitution.
	Wrong, slave!
	What is the first answer?
	It should be defend the Constitution.
	Wrong, slave!
	The first answer is give up loyalty to other countries.
	Obey the laws of the United States.
	Serve in the U.S. military if needed.
	Serve.
	Do important work for the nation if needed.
	Be loyal to the United States.
	And then finally, defend the Constitution.
	This is ridiculous!
	Well, you have a link to the show notes, I hope.
	Yes, it's the...
	It's outrageous.
	And they talk about Lincoln, which is really funny.
	Here it is.
	Slave!
	I can just see him doing this.
	What was one important thing Abraham Lincoln did?
	What do you do, slave?
	What did he do?
	Slave?
	I'm giving you a hint.
	Slave, what did he do?
	He freed the slaves.
	Yes, that's right.
	He freed the slaves.
	What did the Emancipation Proclamation do?
	Freed the slaves.
	That's right.
	What are you?
	Slave.
	You're a slave, right?
	How does that work?
	You are a slave.
	This is unbelievable.
	This is what you have to learn.
	Yeah, it doesn't sound right.
	I thought there were harder questions than that.
	I was under the impression back when I was a kid that the questions were the kind of questions that most Americans couldn't answer because they were too complicated.
	They can't answer these questions.
	They absolutely can't answer these questions, no.
	Well, very few people know that Wilson was...
	No, it was World War I. No, I don't think they know it all.
	So what I found kind of interesting, we had this earthquake machine.
	We should do a little on the street thing.
	I'll tell you what, I'll do it with Eddie.
	Okay, with Eddie.
	Do the citizenship questions with Eddie.
	Oh my God.
	That should be great.
	That should be awesome.
	Okay, the link is in the show notes under, what is it, Gitmo Nation.
	Pass the new U.S. Citizenship Test 2010.
	And it's actually listed under Citizenship Test Tips.
	Tips.
	So the earthquake machine was flicked on in New Zealand.
	Yeah, I figured you were going to get to that, so I have a counter clip after you're done.
	Okay.
	What I found interesting is MSNBC... Immediately comes out and says in January a 7.0 quake hit Haiti.
	230,000 people died.
	Today a 7.0 quake hit New Zealand.
	Early indications are that it caused relatively few serious casualties.
	What is the difference?
	And then he goes on to say that the type of earthquake, quotation marks in the air, was exactly the same type as Haiti, namely very shallow, and it went from side to side instead of up and down.
	Of course, that is the signature of the earthquake machine.
	What is most interesting is that, of course, I don't think anyone died in Christchurch, New Zealand.
	And the whole point is because people don't live in shacks and shoddily built buildings.
	But more importantly, of course, the whole place is under curfew.
	So all the slaves have to stay inside.
	They're not allowed out after, I think it's 10 p.m.
	So it's a clampdown on...
	There's only 230,000 people there, for Christ's sakes, in Christ Church.
	So everyone is under curfew, may not come out because they're afraid something might fall on their head.
	But to me, we'll find out.
	There's something going on.
	Either they had to keep the slaves inside for some reason, or there's some oil exploration going on, or something had to be shaken up, but it has the exact same signature as the Haiti earthquake, which I think pretty much now we're pretty clear that that was the earthquake machine.
	What is your clip about, John?
	Well, my clip is about how many earthquakes they actually have in this area, which indicates to me this wasn't the earthquake machine, but just an earthquake, which do occur.
	And so my clip, which you have right there, New Zealand earthquake, kind of runs down the whole story, and then the number appears at the end.
	Presence of aftershocks continue to hit New Zealand's South Island after Saturday's powerful 7.1 earthquake.
	Celia Hatton on how the island nation is beginning its recovery effort.
	Toppled buildings, flooded streets, crushed cars and even a fire.
	This is what the people of Christchurch face today after a powerful 7.0 magnitude earthquake struck New Zealand's second biggest city.
	The whole building felt as if it was actually going to fall over sideways and it was shaking back and forth as if it had been...
	Many say it's a miracle no one died in the quake, which was as strong as the one that hit Haiti earlier this year.
	New Zealand experiences 14,000 earthquakes annually, so its buildings are well fortified.
	But they were no match for these tremors.
	14,000.
	Sure.
	No, we get 14,000 in California.
	So, I'm going to do from now on, I'm only going to interview somebody with an alarm bell going off.
	That is the best, isn't it?
	That is fantastic.
	But the city has gone into lockdown because, of course, things only fall on your head at night.
	Not during the day.
	That's obvious.
	Earthquake Prediction.
	QuakePrediction.com is predicting a 92% chance of a 5.5 or greater in the San Francisco area over the next two days.
	Is there a link in the show notes?
	Yes.
	Good luck on you.
	QuakePrediction.com.
	That's a zero.
	A 5.5 would be...
	That's nothing.
	That's nothing.
	It would be like a cheap massage at a Berkeley spa.
	Yeah.
	And Yellowstone, which of course has been rumbling for quite a bit.
	This is truly not earthquake machine material.
	This is just earthquakes.
	Well, this is bad.
	Yeah, so story from Discovery.
	Of course, you have those buildings right near the CIA. What happened here?
	The tectonic plates were completely ruptured under Yellowstone.
	Is that what the story is?
	So it looks like...
	So does that mean that we're going to get a real big one now?
	No, nobody knows.
	I mean, this Yellowstone thing blows up every 600,000 years, the caldera there.
	It's the world's biggest volcano.
	And when it happens, it usually wipes out all humanity for pretty much.
	I think you end up with some survival, because you can survive by eating your dead friends, I guess, for a few years.
	It's like a zombie.
	Essentially, there's no food.
	I mean, you can't grow anything.
	It's like a blackout for a couple of years.
	It's not good.
	No.
	And it would destroy civilization as we know it probably for a decade or more.
	Hmm.
	In other news...
	Roaming gangs.
	Roaming gangs of flesh-eating human resources.
	Hey, what is this meme about men being worthless these days?
	Have you noticed this?
	Oh, man, I wish I had a Joy Behar clip about it.
	Well, there's a couple things.
	First of all, women are now choosing to get sperm from the sperm bank because we don't need men for that.
	Well, we need men at one point.
	We actually need a man in our lives.
	Look at Hollywood.
	We've got the backup plan, the switch, the kids are all right.
	It just seems like men are just being pushed.
	We're just unnecessary.
	What was this other?
	MIT did a study.
	13% of all MIT students, female, have sex toys.
	Actually, 16% of MIT women have toys.
	26% of the females in the senior class have sex toys, or I should say sexual aids.
	We're not necessary anymore.
	You women will be sorry.
	Yeah, when you wake up and realize that, oh, wait a minute, those guys are kind of handy.
	But it just...
	Am I nuts, or is this really in the popular culture, that men are just like, bleh?
	I think they take a run at this every so often, and I don't know who the they are, but I've noticed that this is a cycle.
	It comes and goes, and it never gets much traction, because at some point, you know, it's almost like...
	As the economy collapses...
	Men are out of a job, of course.
	Most men are not working because of all the men jobs.
	It forces a lot of women to become hookers.
	Men can be hookers too, John.
	Well, around here, it's for sure.
	Yeah.
	Around these parts.
	But you agree with me, right?
	There's definitely something going on.
	I mean, I haven't seen it like this ever in my lifetime, I don't think.
	Well, you're down in L.A., which is the cultural nexus.
	For everything that happens in the world, pretty much.
	But you can't normally see it, you know, because you're in the middle of it.
	But I think you're surrounded by that, and so I think it's more noticeable there.
	I'm not seeing it so much.
	Okay, well, let me just say this.
	Women, I got my eye on you, okay?
	I am watching out.
	I'm a red-blooded American male, damn it.
	And I know what happened on September 11th, so I'm an American.
	So anyway.
	Yeah, I think we should end the show.
	I have an after show clip, which if you have not seen it, it's rather short, but it's a little long to just play in the show.
	And it's best if you see the animation is the ScanWow commercial from New World Order Solutions featuring Mr.
	Tinkles.
	It has to be seen to be fully enjoyed, the ScanWow.
	I'm sure you have not seen this yet, John.
	No.
	Oh, it's fabulous.
	The audio will be good enough, so we'll play that as an after-show clip.
	And what we really want is your support of this program so we can continue doing all this work.
	What time did you get up this morning, John?
	I got up at 6.30.
	Yeah, I got up at 5.30.
	And I still don't have time enough.
	Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about the No Agenda Tour.
	Hey, John?
	Tell us.
	Yeah, well, everyone who listens to Daily Source Code knows.
	Mickey and I are going to go on an RV trip to the United States, and we're going to go.
	It's the Hot Pockets Across America Tour.
	And we're going to visit all of our No Agenda producers.
	All of them?
	As many as we can.
	It can be a six-week trip.
	It could be an eight-week trip.
	It's whatever it takes.
	And we're going to have the producers put a map together.
	And steer us which direction we have to go in.
	And we'll be doing No Agenda daily from the road.
	And of course, the show from the road.
	I'm glad you told me about this.
	I'm stepping aside for your enthusiasm.
	No, I think it's actually going around in an RV. We've done it.
	This is actually very interesting.
	You'll have a good time.
	Well, not only that, but I think it'll be great for all the producers, and we'll get some local flavor of what's happening in Gitmo Nation.
	The only thing, of course, we need is for the producers to come up with an RV. And you need to...
	Well, you rent them, obviously.
	You're not going to buy one.
	No, we're not going to buy one.
	Someone has a rich uncle somewhere who can give us an RV. There's probably an RV rental company guy listens to us.
	You need to do videos all along the way because you'll run into all kinds of weird merit.
	Not just that, but Mickey's going to do a whole photo journal and it's going to be awesome.
	Sounds like a good publicity stunt.
	Yes, noagendatour.com already forwards to our site, thanks to Mr.
	Oil.
	And, well, we're going to need your support for that, because even if we get the RV for free, we're going to need gas money.
	It ain't cheap.
	It ain't cheap.
	So go to dvorak.org slash NA or channel dvorak.com slash NA and show your support for this show.
	It's the only way we can generate income.
	And I'll be monitoring the tour from the home base.
	Yeah, you will.
	Coming to you from the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center in Gitmo Nation West in the People's Republic of Southern California, I am the former Soviet spy known as Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley where we finally have our summer, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll talk to you again on Thursday right here on No Agenda.
	Vince here for the ScanWow, the new generation in airport body scanning technology.
	Are you stressed?
	Overwhelmed?
	Can't sleep because you're flying out on business and will be ogled inside those naked body scanners at the airport?
	Petrified your body image will be retained by the Transportation Security Administration?
	Terrified your embarrassing naked image might find itself on a pirate bay downloaded at work by colleagues and perverts?
	Don't cry, you big stupid baby.
	I know you're scared of terrorism and you're willing to let the government do anything to keep you safe, but your body is just too disgusting.
	Now there's ScanWow, the only naked body scanner that totally invades your privacy, violates your rights, but makes your hilariously fat, ugly body look damn fine.
	Which is really the only thing people care about anyway.
	Let's bring out a random tubby fat ass and show you how it works.
	I think I'm gonna hurl.
	Plus, this fat bastard has a monkey hidden in his pants.
	But with the press of a button, boom!
	Bow!
	Wow!
	Scan wow!
	Made in Germany.
	And you know the Germans make good stuff, like the Nazi Hollerith machine, which was also made by IBM. Now hit control print screen for a screen cap, and upload later for government blackmail or the enjoyment of internet perverts.
	And don't forget to sneak a camera phone shot of this ripped ScanWow body complete with hidden pants monkey.
	Not convinced yet?
	How about this upgrade, guys?
	Do you have a tiny penis?
	A missing ball?
	The ScanWow penis expansion pack will augment your private parts and fill in your missing gonads.
	A totally free upgrade if you order now.
	Bing!
	Boom!
	No more embarrassing micro-penis.
	What about the ladies?
	We'll also throw in the TitsWow upgrade for a limited time.
	So get your camera phones ready, boys.
	Son of a...
	Perv out, security officials!
	Pow!
	We're talking boobs.
	We're talking butt.
	We're talking legs.
	She looks way hotter than that whore who kicked my ass in Florida, yes?
	I'm a sad little t***.
	Now you might ask yourself, is the ScanWow compatible with VariCip technology?
	You ask a lot of stupid questions, wasting my valuable time.
	But here's your answer.
	Hells yeah!
	The ScanWow will inventory people just like a grocery store scanner.
	Perfect for totalitarian regimes who are weeding out subversives.
	Linguini, Tortellini, Bacon Fettuccine, Red Bikini.
	I'm a douchebag.
	Did somebody say kids?
	No?
	You following me, camera guy?
	Parents with children are rightly concerned that images of their little ones might end up on some pedophile's computer being traded on the interweb.
	Order now and get the StashWow.
	It adds a mustache to your kid to make him or her look older.
	I want to stand on the roof and say to all my students, Hey kids, look at my huge c***!
	Who cares about the Fourth Amendment and illegal searches?
	I love going through the scanners.
	The operators always compliment me.
	I love traveling, but I love the operator attention even more.
	My scanner footage is all over the file sharing sites.
	I love how I look with boobs.
	Screw liberty and privacy.
	Give me liberty or give me tits.
	Don't worry about flying anymore.
	We've got you covered and uncovered in more ways than one with the ScanWow.
	Because a happy, ego-stroked, complacent citizenry is the first step towards consolidating political power.

▲