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June 18, 2009 - No Agenda
01:06:01
105: The French Fry Connection
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Time Text
Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
Yeah, it's time for number 105.
It is your Gitmo Nation audio publication.
On once again.
This is no agenda.
Well, you'd never guess that the location is still the same because, oh, the connection kind of blows.
But we've got the paper towel microphone holder.
My name is Adam Curry.
And from a northern Silicon Valley once again, even though I'm sure I'm going to sound like crap on this particular show, I'm John C. Devorak.
It's Crackpot and Buzzkill!
In the morning!
Yeah, it's morning in Gitmo Nation East, I guess, in Europe.
That's where it truly is morning.
So let's give a shout out to Coppercan, Jim Shaggy, Kinnis Destia, Dave T., Patrick McMurphy, and Brandon Menk.
Why do they all need a shout out?
Schumann says we're sounding great, which doesn't make any sense.
No, because I'm still in the...
We're not.
No, no.
I'm still in the undisclosed hotel location and somewhere, once again, someone is downloading porn.
And I have to say, I'm angry about this connection.
This is the hour to do it.
Yeah, but if I was actually wanting to download porn, I'd really be angry with this connection.
You know, it's one thing that the show kind of sounds horrible, but...
Nerdy dudes are on the list.
But anyway, so I just got back from New York.
Which is why we're doing this.
Can I just say something that actually is kind of weird now that I think about it?
The reason why we're doing this show right now this evening is because I have a board meeting tomorrow.
Actually, things went so well early in the week that we don't even have a board meeting tomorrow.
I don't even know why we're doing this show at this hour anymore.
I forgot to tell you.
Sorry.
What?
Are you telling me the board meeting's been canceled?
Well, no.
We had such great meetings earlier in the week, there was no need for a board meeting.
But I just realized it now.
And I'm like, oh boy, that was kind of dumb.
After you were chewing me out from my lousy connection for the last half hour, you now just realized that we're doing it now.
If that wasn't streaming, did it really happen?
Did I really say it?
It was streaming because Nerdy Dude said, Twitter whore.
Oh, that's right.
Well, I guess I did say it then.
Anyway, it's No Agenda number 105, and thank you, John, for doing the show after flying back from New York, because I know that, of course, I'm the one that sacrifices usually, and in this case, it's you, and I know what it takes.
It's very, very difficult.
Boo-hoo.
You can stop it now or I'll do it tomorrow.
No, tomorrow I'm moving.
I'm moving tomorrow.
I'll be happy not to have to deal with you, unless you want to come over and help me with the U-Haul.
Disconnection is really bad.
You there?
Yeah.
So we had a great day at the office and I came back and I was like, you know, I'm just going to...
Because I didn't sleep a lot last night.
First of all, because I walked into a door in this crappy place.
I have a bump on my head that is actually blue.
So not into a closed door, but one that was open, and I walked right into the side of the door.
I saw actual stars.
It was like at midnight.
It was like, oh my God.
But then I walked across the street, To this Mexican place, which one of the...
I had a driver who was...
A Mexican.
A Mexican.
And I said, oh, look at this...
Because I'm in a very interesting neighborhood here.
And I said, oh, wow, look at this wonderful place across the street.
And he said, no, actually, I've eaten there.
It's not bad.
And I had a whole huge burrito, and oh, my God.
And then I fell asleep after the burrito.
This is not good.
You know, the problem with the problem with Mexican food, especially in burritos, which, by the way, for people out there, if you look it up on Wikipedia, they have a good discussion of what's called a mission burrito.
These are not...
Oh, man.
Our connection sucks, John.
Let the connection catch up.
I mean, your laugh came like only six seconds after my burrito story.
Two other burritos.
Okay, all right.
So people should go to Wikipedia and look up burrito and Mission Burrito in particular, which is an invention in San Francisco of this style of burrito, which is actually a fantastic product.
But they're very heavy.
And the problem is they're so tasty.
Especially if you can find a good provider of a Mission Burrito.
You load it up.
Especially at the Super Burrito.
They're so tasty that you can't stop eating them.
You can't stop eating them.
That's right.
And you get nauseous.
And you get really bloggy after you do it.
And you regret it.
Yes.
They didn't advertise it as a Mission Burrito, but it surely...
And I had it with a Corona.
It's the only burrito we have.
The only burritos we eat.
And I drank a Corona with it, you know, and I'm not a drinker.
I was like, I'm going to start speaking Mexican and walking backwards in a minute.
Watch out.
I'm not getting the backwards joke, but okay.
So, let me say that we are, John, in the middle, right smack in the middle of the largest mainstream media hoax in history.
And let me just ask you, who owns the Wall Street Journal these days?
Is that Rupert Murdoch?
As far as I know.
Well, that makes sense then.
This Iran story.
That, oh, there's all these protests and we have amateur video.
And Anderson Cooper is telling me that Iran is slowing down the net.
We can barely get any video out.
And if you're on YouTube, we're green.
Bullshit!
I'm calling it bullshit.
People have no idea what Iran even looks like.
This could be downtown Egypt.
Oh, there's a guy, a protester, and look, he has a welt on his shoulder because he was struck.
Yeah.
I mean, have you ever seen a protest?
The G20 protests in London were 50 times more violent than this.
What is going on other than to set us all up for some action that is going to be taken because, oh, this horrible guy, Ahmadinejad, and they didn't count it properly.
This is...
I can't believe it.
Up to the Wall Street Journal, the front page.
Recount set as Iran seethes.
The only thing I can see that this may have been done for, that it's paying off, is to get the oil price up to the whisper number of $75.
This is bull.
This is bull.
Iran is a modern country.
They have iPods, and they speak Farsi.
But, you know, it's a huge country.
And you're seeing, like, a couple guys on motorcycles...
Like, oh my gosh, and they're killing, they're not even killing protesters.
They're like driving around on mopeds.
Supposedly 20 dead, at least.
Oh, you must have read the Wall Street Journal.
No, no, I didn't get it from the Journal.
I got it from one of the other sources.
I, I, I, this is just...
Okay, so you think the whole thing is a bogus protest, even though I think there might be some concern, because, you know, there's...
Well, no, the protest, the protest...
I'm not saying that the protest may not be real, or that there's a real protest, but the way this is being brought, it's like, this horrible, scary country is, you know, it's, it's, it's in complete disarray, because there was a complete banana republic election.
Bull!
Bull!
I hope you're still there.
Yeah, no, although somebody lost the stream out there.
Okay, I mean, let's let it ride out and see where he has it.
I think you could be right.
There's no question about it.
How come we don't have any journalists there?
Now there's no journalists.
I know they kicked them all out.
The Daily Show, Jon Stewart had a guy on the back of a moped and they were riding through the streets of Tehran and they were recording it like one big joke.
It's not that hard.
Oh, but now we can't even get amateur video because the evil government has shut the slowing down the net.
Dude, I can't even get a connection out of San Francisco!
Get proof positive!
The Iranian slowing down the net!
My goodness.
It's so painfully obvious.
We don't actually have a journalist there, yet every single mainstream outlet is propagating this BS based upon some amateur video footage.
Okay, I've seen protests all over the world that look like that.
And by the way, is police in Iranian or Farsi, is that police?
No.
Do you spell it the same way?
Because I see guys with police on the back of their jacket.
Is that how it's spelled in Farsi?
Well, they have to put that for American TV. Okay.
So it's part of the set decoration.
Exactly.
Spelling entertainment issued them their uniforms.
You know, even, you know, there's no Polish sigh or anything.
You know, this is going to the USA. Okay, put on your American police costumes.
Exactly.
This is so a setup.
It's just so painfully obvious to me.
And, you know, it's so obvious that the CIA controls all of the mainstream media.
Every single guy and gal who's on television.
It's blowing me away.
It really, really is.
And the fact that People are buying this.
Oh my gosh, it's really bad.
Have you been watching the news about Iran?
Yeah, it's a YouTube video of a guy in a moped driving through a crowd of people.
At least show me, put a cat on his head that's peeing, and then there'll be some humor to it.
The other thing, if we're going to take this tact, and by the way, we will be talking about flying saucers shortly.
Yes, of course.
If we're going to take this tact, then we have the first dead guy, the one guy that was found dead early on.
I think there's a bunch of other dead people, although we don't really have any clue.
In other news, 1,000 people died in traffic in the United States.
Yeah.
So they haven't been gunning them down.
No, they haven't.
I haven't seen...
I've seen more violence in Oakland.
Hey, by the way...
You can see that any day, by the way.
There's at least one dead a day.
Speaking of which, John, I had quite an experience.
And I'd like to share this with you.
And I have a question at the same time.
Hold on.
I have to get my prop for this.
Hold on.
Don't move.
You move.
I'm not moving.
In fact, let me read from the Bible.
Yeah.
Please.
Alright, here we go.
I have my props.
So, we were in Palo Alto.
We were visiting with a couple of our board of directors.
And for a number of reasons, there was no one...
Oh, God.
I need an antacid.
Hold on.
The burrito is acting up.
Alright.
For a number of reasons...
I might just throw up.
I'm telling you.
That would probably be better.
You want them beans refried again?
No.
For a number of reasons, no one was going back, so I had a choice.
Either call a car service, which, by the way, we just had this whole meeting about how great our burn rate is.
And burn rate, for those of you who don't know, is basically the money that you're burning in the air.
It's kind of like flying.
So it's the difference between what profit you're not making...
And money you're spending and money that you're receiving.
And it's actually quite low because we're doing very well as a company certainly in this economy and we're on the path of profitability.
So our fine friend Lawrence of the Marx Brothers decides that I will take Caltrain back to the city.
And I'm like, oh, that's interesting.
I'll do that.
You know, that's kind of cool.
Six bucks, you can't.
The price is right, and it's a nice bumpy ride.
It takes forever.
No, it doesn't.
It took 35 minutes from Paula.
It was the baby bullet, by the way.
Oh, the baby bullet.
Yeah, and it takes 35 minutes, and you meet lots of interesting friends.
But here's what really killed me.
So I go up to the machine to buy my ticket.
I've never been on the Caltrain.
I typically don't do public transport.
And, you know, so first of all, my card, you know, the machine is, like, not reading any of my cards.
Okay, so I stick a $10 in and $6 for the ticket.
And then, you know, your change in ticket will come below, and I hear this.
And I'm like, I got chipped!
I got like four quarters!
You got four quarters?
No, what I got, that's what I thought.
What I got, I have never...
Oh, you got those dollars.
Yes!
You're sounding like George Walker Bush when he went to the grocery store and was stunned by the scanners.
Well, I was stunned because I've never held in my hand a $1 coin, which, by the way, it feels like guilt.
You know, that chocolate money that...
Yeah.
That Jewish kids get in the holidays?
Piece of crap.
What is this?
Can you spend this anywhere?
Can I walk into any store and buy, like, smokes with it?
And they'll accept this?
Oh, yeah.
But how come I've never held it?
Did you get the gold ones or did you get the silver ones?
Gold ones.
Gold ones.
Yeah, I got gold.
Gold ones with the Indian on them.
Okay.
No, George Washington is on them.
I got a George Washington.
Oh, that was an Indian.
I can't remember.
I got a...
Hold on.
Let me see.
I didn't know there were differences.
I got a George Washington.
I got...
No, this is a...
Who's this dude?
They've been trying to foist this on the United States for years.
By the way, I got a story from a guy in London once.
When they...
London, when in Britain, they dropped a one-pound note, and they went to coin.
Yeah, which weighs a ton.
Dude, listen.
I've got like...
Hold on.
Check this out.
Are you still there?
Oh, man.
Maybe...
No, I actually lost him.
Hold on.
Let me see if I call him back.
Hello?
Hello?
Oh boy.
This is not good.
Oh boy.
Yep.
Okay.
So this is always what happens with my wonderful setup and then Skype actually crashes.
Okay.
Let's see if we can reconnect here.
Those of you on the stream, enjoy.
In fact, I may actually just leave this in the show.
It's kind of authentic, don't you think?
Excuse me, I'm quite nauseous now.
Oh, this is painful.
So I do this entire show...
In this awesome routing manner on my Mac.
So it actually is a pretty professional setup.
But if the audio connection crashes, well, then you're pretty screwed.
Witness what's happening.
Okay, let's see if we can get Johnny Boy back on.
Hold on.
Yeah, hold on.
I've got to reconnect.
I've got to re-jack here.
Hold on.
Don't move.
This will be interesting.
Shh!
Don't jinx it.
Be quiet.
Okay, you there?
Yeah.
Okay.
Nice and sweet.
Don't say that!
Don't say those things!
It's not like my mom.
You invite the boogeyman in.
And if we're flying in my plane, don't ever say, Wow, engine's running great!
Don't say these things, you dick!
What a superstitious nerd.
Okay, so, listen, before you get into your...
I don't want to talk about the pound.
So I've got these dollar coins.
On one of them, I've got George Washington.
It even sounds fake.
On one of them, I've got James Monroe.
Then on the other one I have, it's like a chick.
It's like, what's her name?
Pocahontas?
She looks like Pocahontas.
It doesn't even have a name.
Liberty.
Oh, that's her name.
Is that a silver coin or a gold coin?
They're all gold?
No, I have a silver Liberty.
Yeah, those are the old Susan B. Anthony coins.
But I also have a gold Liberty.
Well, how come I didn't say Susan B. Anthony?
She looks like Pocahontas.
I don't know.
The Pocahontas, I thought it was on a gold one.
Anyway, so what?
Well, I had never seen one, and you don't typically get these, I guess, unless you take Cal Trade.
If you go to the post office and buy stamps and a machine, you get them.
If you go to the parking lot over in Mission Street, and you give them...
Well, actually, no, you won't.
You get dollars there now.
Well, here it is, John.
There's a bunch of places where you get these coins.
Well, there you go.
I live the champagne life.
That's why I never do these things.
You live the life of a hermit.
No.
You don't drink champagne.
Yes, I do.
And it makes me violent.
So anyway, I wanted to also call out to Natalie Brown, who sent us a whole bunch of notes we missed.
But meanwhile, Anime Bites says, Adam is great.
Your sound, John, is bad.
Yeah, exactly.
It's your connection as always.
Oh, yeah, right.
Yeah.
So we got a lot of email with great stories this week.
And of course, I can't actually bring up links, etc.
The irony.
You should have a little printer and you should print them out in advance.
Yeah, but, you know, I was too busy, like...
Sleeping.
Passed out from the burrito.
Trying to digest a burrito.
But the most exciting one, and I have just not been able to do the homework because there is some Dutch video that I have to watch, came from...
Excuse me.
I need a cough button.
Chris Madden.
Hey guys, as an American married to a Dutch girl living in Holland, the HEMA underwear, and bear with me, okay, because there's not going to be a whole other underwear story, the HEMA underwear is quite familiar to me.
Tonight I was watching Radar, which I'm familiar with.
It's a great show.
It's a journalistically fantastic show in Holland.
This Dutch-language Consumer Report show, they had a segment about nanotechnology and how it has not been tested or regulated yet, and the opportunities and potential threats that we might learn about it in the future.
Anyway, they're running through a few products.
You feel it coming, wait for it.
A few products that have nanotechnology, and lo and behold, they say, or in English, also in these underwear from the HEMA, you will find nanoparticles.
And I'm like, wow!
We've got nanotechnology in the HEMA underwear that you and I wear, John?
And this could be detrimental to our health.
What is this nanoparticle supposed to do?
It's hanging between your legs for 47 years, for Christ's sakes.
I'm saying, what is a nanoparticle?
What is the point of it?
Well, nanotechnology is like...
Oh, nanotechnology.
I'm so scared.
Well, you don't know.
This is what the whole broadcast was about.
It could be the equivalent of...
This is...
Asbestos.
Asbestos.
That nano thing.
Yeah, yeah.
Sounds like either a hoax, or what's the point of it?
Where does it exist?
Is it in the label?
Is it stitched into the fabric?
Well, if I had been able to watch the show, then we would know, wouldn't we?
Oh, so basically it's just a teaser for the next show we do.
Exactly.
Now you're on to me, baby.
Great show on PBS that I did see last night live.
A lot of people have sent me the link on the PBS.org website.
Frontline had a special on called Breaking the Bank.
I actually wanted to call you and tell you to watch it, and of course I realized you were in New York.
I didn't want to disturb you with your hookers.
Um...
Wise decision.
Yes.
Great show.
And they really...
I like what Frontline does.
They really showed all the inside bits of the Merrill Lynch Bank of America transaction and how Paulson was a part of that.
And you know what?
You don't need a burrito to throw up in your mouth after that show.
You're just like, oh my God, this whole thing, the whole system is so corrupt.
It's so buddy-buddy.
You know, and of course today, President Obama announces this new sweeping changes in regulations for the financial industry to protect the little guy.
Nice timing, Prez.
And now we're going to get one agency.
Now we get one agency that will be the regulator for everything.
Gee, that's going to rock.
Well, you know, the thing is...
I'll get to see that front line.
Maybe I should watch it and we can talk about it.
But that front line is a great show.
Yeah, I don't understand why.
Do you think it's the same producer that does all these shows?
Because someone's going to get shot over there.
I mean, I'm sorry.
Sorry, someone's going to commit suicide.
Did I lose you again?
This is not good.
Yep.
Crap almighty.
John, your connection sucks.
I'm gonna cry.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah.
I'm telling you, it was his connection.
It is not mine.
I'm receiving Skypes from all over the world.
Everything works fine.
But he's blaming it on my stuff.
Let's try it again.
Okay.
See, he's not even online.
Did he just go off?
See, this is what I mean.
And I get blamed for it.
Maybe I should play a little bit of music for y'all while we're getting that set up.
He is actually offline.
Devil without a cause.
And I'm back with the Beaver, Hash, and Ben David.
It's like waiting for Godot.
We're waiting for the real dvvvvvorak!
I jabbed from the city of truth.
I jabbed and stabbed and knocked critics back.
And I did not stutter when I said that.
I'm going platinum, selling rhymes.
I went platinum seven times.
And still they're ill and wanna see us ride.
I guess because only God knows why.
Why?
They call me cowboy, I'm the singer in black So throw a finger in the air, let me see where you're at Hey, hey Let me hear where you're at Hey, hey I'm giving it back, so say Hey, hey Show me some metal and say Hey, hey, hey, hey Yeah!
Yeah!
I like the AC, DC, and ZZ Top Well, see Fist, Beast, he's in the cave, so I'll rock.
Skinner, Seager, Limp, Corn, the Stones.
David Allen, Coe, and No Show Jones.
Yeah, pass that bottle around, got the rock from Detroit, sold from Motown, the underground stone.
Need a pimp with tracks that Mack and slap back the wax.
Never, no way, I don't play with ****, but watch me rock with Liberace, flash, pump rock the class.
Boy, bands are trash, I like Johnny Cash and Grandmaster Flash, Flash, Flash, Flash, Flash.
Yo, hold on, man.
You were offline, dude.
Yeah, exactly.
Hold on a second.
Let me jack you in.
Let me jack you in.
I told you, it's your connection.
It's not my connection.
This is my whole point, the entire show, and you're blaming me and my crappy ass hotel.
All right.
That was pretty funny.
What was I talking about?
Nothing important.
Well, besides that.
I don't know.
We had fun, the audience and I. Yeah, we had a good time.
Because it is clearly your connection that is the problem this evening.
I'm telling you this.
You don't want to believe me, but it is your problem.
Yeah, well, it's not my problem.
It's Comcast.
You know what?
They care.
Are you still there?
I'm still here.
Good.
Can you hear me now?
Yes, yes.
You keep telling me not to be yakking at you, and now you're doing it.
I'm good now.
Hey, a lot of different theories coming through the pipeline about the Airbus crash, Air France 447.
Yeah, what now?
Well, the one I saw just before the burrito made me comatose, now they're saying, oh, well, there's clear evidence there was a mid-air breakup.
Well, let me tell you something.
If there was a mid-air breakup at 40,000 feet, you're not going to be finding everything and everybody in nice, you know, oh, he had a broken leg.
Oh yeah, and they'd be scattered to tarnation.
A thousand miles, of course!
The one that I like the best, and I hate it all, of course, because it's horrible what's happened, is...
Well, there's two, actually, and a lot of aviators are sending me email, and I'm collecting them, and we are going to do, like, eventually a full-blown overview of all these different theories from people who actually fly these aircraft to maintenance.
Here's one...
An Airbus engineer, and I'm not going to read the whole thing, but there are, you know, the initial theory was the pitot tubes froze up, and the pitot tubes are those tubes that stick out that indicate airspeed, and, you know, it's like...
No.
Okay?
This stuff is, it's just not, it just doesn't make sense, all these dumb theories.
But the one I do like was written by a fellow aviator, and let me see if I can find it, because it was a great article, and of course I will put that in the show notes at noagenda.mevio.com.
Of course, I can't find it right off the bat.
But, you know, the rudder was found relatively intact.
Now, the rudder is...
In flight, the rudder is actually not used that much, but, of course, it's a very important piece of the aircraft.
You'll recall over New York City, an Airbus crashed, and it was because the rudder broke.
It broke off.
This was, I'm going to say, 90...
Crap, I don't know.
Yeah, no, the plane is notorious for the rudder.
Yeah, maybe it was 2002.
It was about 10 years ago.
And it was because the pilots, or one of the pilots, or the crew, had used so much excessive force during takeoff, because you basically use this during crosswind situations, or if there's a lot of...
So typically when landing, so you...
You know, you can do a couple things.
You can land completely sideways and then correct just before you land, or if there's not too much crosswind component, you can correct that by stepping on these pedals, and then the plane will correct, and one wheel will be low, but you put one wheel down, and then you put the other one down, and you're good to go.
If the crosswind component is too much, then you either have to go around and find another place to land, or in the Airbus's case, apparently this thing snaps off, and then it's not good.
It's a plastic airplane.
What can I tell you?
So the thinking, and I kind of like this theory, is that they may have been in a very, very windy situation in this storm, which for some reason they flew into.
Not the kind of thing airmen do typically.
And that they may have applied such excessive force or the forces of the wind may have been so excessive that the thing snapped off.
And then it would make sense that this plane could have...
Gone into a spiral down, gone to a spin, a number of things can happen, and it just went straight down to the bottom.
Another thing, by the way, if it breaks up in flight, the bodies and debris would be at the surface.
You wouldn't be five miles down.
There'd be all kinds of bits and pieces floating all over the place, and they haven't found all that much yet.
Right.
So what are you thinking?
I'm thinking that this is still the ongoing war between Airbus and Boeing, and that they're sabotaging each other, and they're just blowing each other to bits.
And this all kind of came to a head, which, by the way, Frontline did not mention any of the bankers on board the Airbus that ditched in the Hudson, which, of course, was en route to Bank of America's headquarters, On the same day that they had one of these huge meetings with Paulson where the government was basically controlling the entire banking system and threatening these guys how to run their business and what they had to do to save the financial system.
And I think it's a huge war.
This is big businesses.
One of the last huge industries that's left.
And it's between Europe and the United States.
And this is an ongoing war.
It's actual out-and-out war.
And it's unfortunate if you have to fly on a Boeing aircraft in the next couple of months because Boeing is next.
Mark my words.
And John's Comcast connection once again is down.
There you go.
The war is ongoing.
These guys are so...
Skype's going to crash again.
The show is actually quite entertaining for me.
I don't know what the audience thinks.
But this is totally John's connection.
So each time that I have to redial, I have to set the output back to...
And he's, yeah, he's completely offline.
Well, I don't want to play Kid Rock again.
That would be kind of Le Marino.
So, let's see.
What can I play for y'all?
Here we go.
We'll just grab a song here and play something nice.
While we're waiting for John to come back online...
Could someone please Twitter Comcast Cares and tell them that we care?
that their shit doesn't work.
The time is right.
I'm gonna pack my bags and take that journey down the road Cause over the mountain I see the bright sunshine And I want to live inside the globe Yeah, yeah
I wanna go to a place where I hear nothing and everything That exists between Harry and nowhere Oh I want to go to a place where time has no consequence at all.
Yeah.
The sky opens to my prayers.
I want to go to beautiful.
All right.
Alright.
Looks like he's back.
Don't say anything because the audience can't hear you until you're connected in.
Hold on.
Don't say anything.
I gotta do all that routing thing again.
Okay.
Almost there.
And...
Okay, the only thing I want to hear you say right now is, I'm sorry, Adam, it is my connection, not yours.
No, it's Comcast's fault.
I know it's reset twice now.
Yeah, so the whole problem with the entire show has been your connection.
Your connection sucks at that place and you know it.
Yeah, but it's your connection.
Okay, it's my connection.
Thank you.
Get used to it.
You're going to have to edit the show a little bit.
I'm not going to edit a single thing out of this show.
I refuse.
Yeah, okay, we just bore people stiff with the dead air.
No, it's not.
Are you kidding?
Dead air?
I've had a lot of fun while you were.
In fact, the best part of the show was when you're not on it.
Okay, well, you know.
Keep talking then.
So anyway, the thing that I said is that when you dropped off is that it's unfortunate if you have to take a Boeing flight in the next two months because Boeing is next.
This is all-in-out war between Airbus and Boeing.
It's sheet metal and rivets versus plastic airplanes.
The, what do they call it?
The scare bus.
There you go.
Are you still there?
Yeah.
Okay.
Hey, what you got, Johnny?
I mean, I got plenty of good stories.
No, keep going, because like you said, it's more interesting with you just yabbering by yourself.
Okay, well, I've got a way out there story, if you want one.
Okay, here we go.
Scientists in Russia, you know when it starts off like that, it's going to be a zinger, are saying they've discovered a critical link Between the H1N1 influenza, known as the swine flu in the United States, but known as the Mexican flu in the rest of the world, can't they even get their branding straight?
We should consult those guys.
Yep.
They say that there's a link between the H1N1 flu and genetically modified amulopectin potatoes, better known as french fries.
And what does this mean?
Well, according to the reports, the protease enzyme, genetically modified in the potatoes, being sold throughout the Western fast food restaurants as French fries, which of course means it will be the French swine flu, causes an, quote, which of course means it will be the French swine flu, causes an, quote, explosive replication of the H1N1 virus by increasing the acidic
conditions of the endosome and causing the hemagglutinin explosive replication of the H1N1 virus by increasing the acidic conditions of the endosome and causing the hemagglutinin protein to rapidly fuse the viral envelope with the vacuolose membrane, thus causing the M2
causing the M2 ion channel to allow protons to move through the viral envelope and acidify the core of the virus, which causes the core to disassemble and release the H1N1's RNA and core proteins into the host's cells.
That's the way these things work.
So what's new?
What do you mean what's new?
That was new to me.
So you're saying...
That's how RNA works, yeah.
RNA virus.
It's a retrovirus, actually.
So basically, the more french fries you eat...
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Oh, so it's a trigger.
So what they're trying to say, which apparently they're not doing very well, is they're trying to say that the genetically modified French fries have some aspect to them, which is a triggering mechanism to make this virus work better.
Propagate faster.
Well, you could target it.
So in other words, what you're developing is a genetically modified kind of a key that if you are ingesting this stuff and you come across this virus, boom, you're dead.
You get it.
And if you don't eat these crappy french fries made from these phony bologna potatoes, which, by the way, I didn't realize that the fast food restaurants are using GMO potatoes.
Oh, well, I would think that could be a possibility.
It could be a big possibility.
That's why I eat burritos.
They'll kill you slower.
Burritos will not kill you.
They just make you loggy.
Yes.
That's the word.
Loggy.
Yeah, I thought that was a very interesting bit of data there.
I like it.
There is a lot of thought amongst the writing community for writing stories where you have these ideas of having these two elements.
If you're doing one thing and then you match up with something else, in other words, you can literally kill off a huge percentage of the population if you can find an ethnic group you want to get rid of.
Yeah.
Yeah, like the ethnic group Americans who eat french fries, which is pretty much the entire population.
Yeah, well, it's those french fries.
If you go buy your own russets near, you know, at the store, you're not going to have this problem.
Or you use some other potato.
Maybe that's the reason, by the way.
That there's been, for the foodies and the people who are more higher up who can afford these things, they either are now using a Yukon Gold or a Finns as their potato of choice.
Well, let me give you some more data points before you go into the foodie vibe.
What other country outside of...
The United States, Canada, United Kingdom, and Australia has had a high level of swine flu cases.
Do you know the country?
Mexico.
No, Chile.
And?
Chile.
Yes, so important.
Turn down your speakers, you dork!
You know, you're just surly today.
It's getting a little annoying.
It's the burrito.
The South American nation of Chile is the only country in the world outside of the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Australia to allow the planting of genetically modified potatoes.
That's weird.
And they are reporting 1,694 cases of H1N1. This is not a bad little report here, John.
Here's what's weird about it.
I mean, about the chili thing.
Why?
What do you mean, why?
Because potatoes came from this area in Peru.
You can go to Peruvian mountains and they grow over a thousand varieties of really interesting potatoes.
So why would they want to eat the GMO? I don't know.
I'm just saying.
So you're going to have show notes and documents that chili uses genetically modified potatoes?
Yeah, I have a link to the...
It's because of the free trade pact.
Hold on.
Oh, this is not very smart, probably, of me to go to a...
Well, actually, it's not my connection that's breaking up.
Yeah, I was going to bring up that webpage a little while earlier.
It was the Office of the United States Trade Representative.
After 13 years of bilateral conversations and two of negotiations, the U.S.-Chile free trade agreement entered into force January 1, 2004.
And this is where this shows that they are allowed to grow these genetically or create these genetically modified potatoes.
So there's some data.
This is a pretty good little report that has some good links in it.
Thank you.
Hmm.
All right.
Well, you know, it's a possibility.
Well, there's more.
Of the 5,000 confirmed and more than 100,000 probable cases of swine flu, the average age of infected people is 15.
Two-thirds are younger than 18.
Makes total sense.
Young people eating...
Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, right.
Yeah.
Young people eating lots of french fries.
So, hey, you know, if ever there was a reason not to eat french fries, besides the fact that the french fries will just kill you by themselves without the swine flu, you know, lay off.
Listen to no agenda.
Eat less fries.
Live longer.
I wonder if it's maybe the whole thing was dreamed up by a competitor in the fast food business that doesn't sell French fries.
There was a whole documentary on CNBC about McDonald's the other night.
Coincidence?
Maybe.
Maybe.
McDonald's makes a lot of money from those French fries.
Oh, yeah.
So, now it's your turn.
That was my homework.
What turn?
You were like kicking butt, according to yourself.
Okay, then South Park had a great Tourette episode, which I hadn't seen.
That was kind of cool.
Have you ever seen that one?
No, I don't watch South Park unless somebody sends me a video.
Where Eric decides that it's cool to have Tourette, because then you can say all these horrible things to the teacher?
Yeah, and as someone who suffers mildly from Tourette's Syndrome, that was fun.
You didn't find this offensive?
No, I thought it was hilarious.
I loved it.
I loved it.
It was great.
So I guess they were protesting out in front of David Letterman's late show with these dorks.
Are they still going on about the Palin thing?
Which I never actually saw what he said.
He didn't say anything.
I haven't seen the apology either, because I guess he won't give anyone the rights to show it, so they're only talking about it.
It's ridiculous.
I'm losing a lot of respect for the Republicans on this deal.
And of course Bill O'Reilly is all over it.
He's got a couple of bimbos that come on the show occasionally.
Who are hot, by the way.
They're pretty.
No, they're hot.
They're info bimbos.
You don't know how hot they are.
They never stand up.
They could have the biggest behinds.
By the way, before you continue, Aaron Burnett has been doing a lot of remote stuff.
Because, you know, of course...
I'm on the Pacific Time Zone, so now I'm seeing a whole different...
I'm not seeing all of the day programming for CNBC. I'm seeing a lot of the nighttime specials.
And now, let me say again, besides the fact that she is a Council of Foreign Relations, a total shill for the evil uberlords who run the world, she's an extremely beautiful woman.
She's talented.
She's highly intelligent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get to the point.
She's got saddlebags that won't quit.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Disappointing, actually.
That's from sitting down too much.
Yeah, of course it is.
So, play the Real News jingle.
I'll give you something.
Okay.
Well, you kind of caught me off guard.
I'm sorry.
Let's hit it.
Here we go.
And now, back to Real News.
So it appears, if you look at the front page of the Post, apparently, the thing that's really continuing is Lindsay Lohan stealing this $200,000 worth of jewels, they think, or $400,000.
Have you read this story?
No!
No, John, I have not read the Lindsay Lohan story.
That's your job.
I'm the one that tries to save people from dying.
It's a huge story in Manhattan.
Yeah.
It's a cosmopolitan town.
Yeah.
Let me just read you a...
What's the story, man?
Give us the background.
What's happening?
This is real news.
This is important to our lives.
Forget french fries that'll kill you.
She went to do a photo shoot for Elle magazine and they draped her in some $400,000 jewels and she kept thinking there was going to be a freebie for her.
They said, no, no, no.
We want the jewels back.
You're getting paid for this gig.
And she said, you sure I can't get them?
You know, it's like, you know, give them, you know, just give them to me.
And she went on and on about this, apparently.
And she kept harping on it, even though they said no, no, no.
And the next thing you know, they turned up missing.
And now, you know, everyone's like worried sick about it.
Now, apparently she has a history of this kind of thing.
And let me just read you a section of this article in The Post.
But the incident recalls another allegedly larcenous Lohan incident.
Last year, a Manhattan model accused the star of swiping her prized mink jacket after the two crossed paths at the Chelsea Club won Oak.
Maria Masha Markova said she saw Lohan sporting her $11,000 jacket around town after it was stolen.
Her lawyer called Lohan's handlers, and then the coat was mysteriously returned.
Okay, John, I've got to give you some background because, as you know, I'm an expert in media.
A media sexpert is what I am.
So what you need to remember is that when Lindsay Lohan was completely strung out, she was drunk, she might have been on coke, before she came out as a lesbian, she was caught shoplifting.
And she had some kind of kleptomania issues.
Now you have to combine that with a very typical media story because these photo shoots, these big fashion photo shoots, always occur with huge amounts of jewelry which are always supplied by Cartier or someone else who do this for the credit and the photos and for...
They appear in Elle or Vogue magazine and then rich women look at it and say, oh, doesn't that look great?
I want to go buy these.
And 90% of these photo shoots, they make up some bull about the star not returning the jewels just to get the attention and the focus on the jewelry.
It's a lie.
Now, combine those two together with the journalistic integrity of The Post...
And then you've got a stupid story.
This is real news.
I can't believe you're insulting me with this shit.
And now, back to real news.
But when she came out that she was lesbian, that was kind of hot.
Well, apparently I'm not going to get anywhere with you since you're being an asshole tonight.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm just telling you.
I'm not being an asshole.
Oh yeah, totally.
So, uh...
Could you please Twitter if you think I'm an asshole?
There's our audience.
Yes, you're an asshole.
Alright, what else we got here?
So here's my complaint for the week.
Okay.
Why do people go on airplanes and then drag their roly bag down the aisle when it clearly doesn't fit?
Ugh.
And how do they get away with it?
So it bounces off the one side to the other.
Bang, bang, bang.
They can't get it down the other.
They're always looking back and they hit you if you happen to be, you know, your foot's in the way or something.
And you see this constantly.
But you have to pick the bag up and carry it down sideways so it fits.
Why does this continue forever?
People always try to...
And they never get...
There's like one mile an hour because they keep banging into the seats with this thing.
Now, worse than that...
Why do people wear, instead of carrying them on, they're wearing these huge backpacks?
Wait, can I respond to the rolly thing first?
And that goes right along with the backpack.
Whenever I... And you know the Tumi bag that I had, which was the one that I usually schlepped around to the office, which was reasonably large?
Yeah, it's a big bag.
Yeah.
So, at least four or five times at multiple airports, I'm the guy, because I'm an asshole apparently, who is pulled out and said, I'm sorry, sir, that bag does not fit in our little rack, which is big enough for like a notepad.
The one that is in front of every single check-in counter before you get onto every single plane.
Your bag must fit into this rack.
How come these people get away with it?
That's what I don't understand.
I don't get away with it.
They always say, I'm sorry, you have to check that bag, sir.
It's way too big.
And then I see all these dorks walking on with, you're right, with these huge rolly bags.
And the backpack, it should be a federal aviation backpack.
Authority regulation.
You cannot wear the backpack when boarding the plane.
Because these people then turn around, you're sitting there, you're reading your magazine, and then you get this backpack in your face.
Let's take it to another extreme if we're going to complain about this.
When did we all start wearing backpacks like pack mules?
Yeah.
Schedule, like every city schedule, they look like they're going into Yosemite to spend a month.
Really?
What's wrong with your hands?
Carry it, damn it.
And what do you need all that shit on the plane for?
What do you need that for?
What's in there?
I think we should, you know, if they're checking for liquids, it should be like, do you need this on the plane?
No, we're going to have to throw it out.
I'm sorry.
You can't have this on the plane.
You don't need it?
We should throw it out.
You're right, John.
I think that, you know, the reason why is because people want to travel lightly so they don't have to wait.
Ooh, horrible, wait for their luggage.
You know, if you're going to go somewhere, pack a bag, pack a nice, you know, a good-looking bag, and put it, you know, check the bag, and put it on the aircraft where it belongs, in the hold.
Then we have the one other situation where you have these guys with these big dorky backpacks on, and then they're too big to stuff into the overhead, so everybody gets hung up as these guys are trying to force it in.
And there's like, the stewardesses come over, they're all pushing and pushing and pushing on this thing, and they're trying, you know, I've seen them where they can't get it in, they have to bring the thing down, take a few things out, and then shove it in there.
Yeah.
How does that fit into that rack, since you get called?
Well, because, you know, I'm an asshole.
Well, that's beside the point.
Which is why I love flying first class, if available, because invariably there's always some guy who's trying to shove his commoner steerage backpack into the first class rack, and the stewardess says, I'm sorry, sir, this is reserved for first class passengers.
You'll have to shove that up your ass somewhere else.
I love that.
It makes me feel very good and powerful.
So anyway, so I flew JetBlue.
Yeah.
I like JetBlue.
Have you seen the new Terminal?
No, I love JetBlue though.
Big fan.
Well, they've got a new terminal.
They used to be in Terminal 6, which used to be the TWA Terminal, then it became the United Terminal, then it became the JetBlue Terminal, and then it looks like they're just tearing it down or doing something else, because they've created a whole new terminal, Terminal 5.
And it's like being in Las Vegas.
It's like being in a Las Vegas hotel.
Really cool.
There's about five or six or seven gourmet restaurants in there, and you can get stuff to go.
There's actually a sushi bar.
Cool.
Which is good, right?
It's good, I bet.
It's ridiculously good.
And the guys, these old Japanese guys in there, obviously...
By the way, if you go to the sushi bar, it's called Deep Blue or something like that.
If anybody goes to the sushi bar, get the Dragon Roll.
It is the most...
It's like a work of art.
It's amazing.
But anyways...
I'm sorry.
The sushi bar is really good, but they got a steakhouse, they got a French restaurant, they got all these things.
Then on the other side, there's like a food court with a whole bunch of lower-end places you can buy stuff to take on the plane.
And the whole thing is jazzy.
Now I know where their money is going, and if they're losing money, now they're flying all over the place.
Well, hold on a second.
That's concessions.
JetBlue is just making the terminal.
They're not running the sushi joint.
They're just renting out the space.
I think it's brilliant.
I think the concept of EasyJet is equally as good.
I love JetBlue.
I love the space they provide.
I love the fact that you can sit there and zone out on satellite television, which is better than sleeping pills.
Yeah.
You know, I can't wait to try out their terminal.
I really love the whole concept of these one-class airlines.
The only thing they should do is they should, you know, the people who try to stuff the backpacks and the big wheelie bags, they should eliminate them.
And then it would be absolutely perfect.
I like the TV on the JetBlue, too.
It's fabulous.
That knocked me out three times on the flight over.
It's better than hypnotic sleeping pills.
I wake up.
What the heck?
I was watching Top Chef.
I mean, it's great.
You fall asleep.
It's like, I'm so bored.
I'm going out.
I'm going under.
Change the channel.
And by the way, you notice that Virgin America, who, whenever I have to go to L.A., I fly, And they have a first class, which is ridiculous to even purchase that ticket, but when you buy your ticket, and it's kind of a low-cost airline, and first of all, they cast their flight attendants, they're beautiful, they're sexy, and then the girls are cute too.
You can actually purchase for an additional $30 an extra leg space with complimentary food and drinks.
The only problem on Virgin America is the license for the TV channels, JetBlue covered all of that, so Virgin has really poor selection of in-seat live video, because I guess they couldn't get the direct TV or whatever it is they wanted to get.
Well, you know, when you check in with Virgin America, you go to the gate at the last minute or you go to the front counter and you say, are there any first-class seat upgrades?
And they're $50 flat rate.
Oh, really?
But they only have four first-class seats, don't they?
Yeah, but often there's one open.
I've hit that upgrade two or three times.
Cool, cool.
Hey, John, speaking of such, 50 bucks is a perfect amount of money.
I think it's a great use of funds that people send to the show because we work very, very hard.
We fly JetBlue.
We fly Virgin America.
We fly along with the backpackers.
If you donate some money to the show, then we can get an upgrade, and that would be highly appreciated.
Do we have any people who have donated this week?
Well, I just flew in, so I don't have my list, so I'm going to have to go to the list on Sunday.
Would you please actually do it then, because this is what you said last Sunday.
Well, yeah.
No, I realize that I made a mistake here, and I also teased a couple of things we never got to, because I can't remember what they are.
I just walked in the door.
So, anyway, if anybody wants to...
By the way, we're getting a lot of people, not a lot, but a few, that are sending a...
They're canceling their $2 subscription and they're sending an apology note and sending actual more money as a one-shot donation.
That's good.
I guess that's good, right?
Well, it's better, yeah, because they really nick us for those $2.
Yeah, PayPal, you mean.
Yeah, PayPal.
Right.
Okay, no, that's good.
We have to find some alternative money collections.
But anyway, go to noagendalibrary.com or dvorak.org slash na, dvorak.org slash na, and give us a hand.
Because this is a publicly supported show, and I know a lot of people listen to it, and they like the one hour, you know, because it's a drive time thing.
They like to get more of it, and we will do more if we get, you know, more income.
Because it is time consuming and I had to wake you up.
After a burrito.
After your burrito.
Comatose.
And the microphone stand is still the paper towel holder.
What's kind of interesting to note is that I'm down to the last three or four sheets.
So now it's really desperate.
The microphone stand is wilting away before my very eyes.
Are you telling me this is an active paper towel holder?
Yes, it's being used.
Yes, here, in fact, I'll...
Now I have one sheet left.
And I'm using it for...
Yeah, I closed the mic while I did that.
No, you didn't.
Well, I faded it down so you could get a little bit of the effect.
Oh.
Because I still have swine flu.
Yes, wine flu.
Stop eating french fries.
Dude.
By the way, I'm buying into the french fry theory.
I'm with you, and I'm going to stop eating french fries.
Let's do a test of the couple hundred thousand people who listen to the show.
Let's stop eating french fries.
No, we should do an A-B comparison.
We should have some people eat McDonald's french fries and see if they get sick.
And see if they get sick, and they should report back.
So we should have three groups.
Because we need a control group.
We'll have to have people who eat french fries, people who don't, and people who eat burritos.
And let's see who gets sicker.
We could do an A-B comparison, because I don't think all the potatoes...
For example, I'm not sure that the In-N-Out burger uses these...
The GMOs.
Yeah.
Mainly because there's the potatoes.
You know, the potatoes that...
You get in a real place that actually makes french fries from real potatoes.
There's always, occasionally, you know, there's black things in there.
There's all kinds of eyes and things.
Yeah, there's like real potatoes.
Yeah.
So the title of the show should be The French Fry Connection, I guess?
The French Fry Connection, that's a good one.
It's good, isn't it?
We always forget to name the title of the show, and John and I talk for five or ten minutes after the show, and then we hang up, and then, of course, John immediately is offline doing something much more important.
I could never find him.
I go to bed.
Yeah.
What should we call the show?
What should we call the show?
And I'm waiting for hours for him to confirm.
The French Fry Connection is a good title.
Okay, we'll name it that.
Although, I don't know if it's SEO-friendly.
Yeah, well, it doesn't matter.
I think if you titled the show Lindsay Lohan, you'd get more hits.
Gee, you think?
All right.
We are kind of at the 60-minute mark, so if you want to...
We are?
Yeah, man.
Well, yeah.
Well, I teased something the last time.
What was it?
I can't remember.
Let me see, because I'm taking notes.
People get irked, because I know they wait and wait and wait to tune in for the tease.
I'm going to write down now, first of all, we're going to do French Fry Connection.
I do have one last story, because I'm now taking notes as part of the new me.
French Fry Connection, AB Group, and I'm going to write down Donation List, because you'll forget again, and you'll tease it again, and you won't do it.
No, I will.
I had an email conversation, and I'm going to bring it up right now, with one of our producers, Martin.
I'm going to presume he's Dutch.
It's a fine Dutch name.
And where is it?
No Agenda Bet Reminder.
Okay.
What's the bet?
Adam, I'm sending this email to remind you and John about a bet you guys made in a previous No Agenda show.
I don't remember the episode number.
He, by the way, is now looking for it.
You made a bet.
That the world would look, how the world would look a half year after the Obama White House administration.
The 10th of June was the deadline of this bet.
I'm pretty curious how you and John will decide who won this bet and why.
So I went back and forth.
I did some searching.
The bet was discussed in No Agenda No.
61, titled One Big Ponzi Scheme, around 59 minutes into the show.
In short, John believed that the world would be pretty happy under the Obama regime, and you thought it wouldn't exactly be a, quote, happy time because of Afghanistan economics and so on.
So you want to call it, Johnny Boy?
Yeah, I won.
Have another french fry Bye.
Bye.
*Bell rings* People are...
The Dow is at 8,400.
Everyone's freaking out.
We've got Iran exploding and in complete disarray.
We've got french fries killing us.
We've got healthcare being cut by $300 billion.
People are happy.
You're an alarmist.
No, I'm just a realist.
You lose the bet.
You lose.
I can't remember what we bet for, but you lose.
Come on, admit it, dude.
No, I don't lose the bet.
Admit it.
You lose the bet.
Admit it.
What I describe is exactly the situation in which we are in.
You're welching on the bet.
I can't believe you.
I'm not welching on any bet.
I won the bet.
How can you say that people are happier right now?
They've never been so messed up and angry and afraid.
The way everyone I see is happy as a clam.
You're happy.
You're a happy guy.
You had a burrito.
So how do we determine who...
I want to hear the show.
We get a clip from it and we'll listen to it and then we'll let the users decide.
You mean the listeners and producers.
They're not users.
They're not on crack.
They're users.
They're users.
You're such a...
We had an investor in the office today.
This was really funny, John.
This is Jonathan...
Oh, I wish I had his card I left at the office.
One of these guys who made like a billion dollars on eBay or something like that.
Very, very nice guy.
Yeah.
You know, soft-spoken, you know, kind of very, extremely intelligent.
God, I wish I remember his last name.
Yeah, yeah, what story?
Well, I'm going to look for his name.
I have it in my calendar, and I'll tell you exactly who it was.
It was Jonathan Fram.
Have you ever heard of him?
I think he does oil filters.
The firm he's with now is Maveron LLC. Great, nice guy.
And he's invested in a couple things.
And it was an introduction through Jennifer Cooper, who is working with us now.
I'm like, I'm going to meet this guy.
That's interesting.
Yeah, I don't think you need to know all these details.
Get to the story.
Okay.
And I forgot what I was going to say.
Ah!
I really did.
Well, What was it in reference to?
Oh, okay.
No, no, no, no.
I got it.
I remember, I remember, I remember.
And so we show him, you know, we're showing him some stuff and we show the Tech 5 top 5.
He's like, why the hell is Dvorak on your network?
Why does he want to work for you?
He's like, I know John Dvorak, sure I know him.
How did you get him?
Why would he want to be on this place?
I was like, okay Jonathan, thanks for coming.
That's cute.
Yeah, uh-huh.
Well, anyway.
I think we should end on a high note.
Yeah, well, I'm sure he'll appreciate this anecdote.
I can't think of anything else.
No, that's good.
We're well within our time.
I'll tell you, the people in New York were a little surly.
Ah!
Once again, proof I win the bet!
No, no, that's just New Yorkers.
That's the way they are.
Oh, okay.
But they seem to have lost their sense of humor in that town.
And I don't know, I've found that the whole New York thing is...
I think New York's over.
Well, there you go.
I was there.
I'm going there Thursday.
I'm very excited.
Live it up.
I'll bet you'll arrive at Liberty Airport.
That's Newark to you and I, and there'll be signs saying, Dvorak, get out of here.
I'm probably more likely to say Letterman quit or something like that, but...
Hey, coming to you from this crappy bandwidth situation for the last time in San Francisco, I'm Adam Curry.
And from the dark confines of northern Silicon Valley, I'm John C. Dvorak.
We'll talk to you again on Sunday right here on No Agenda.
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