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April 22, 2009 - No Agenda

01:35:17

91: Stroking the Ugly Stick

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	This is the No Agenda Countdown.
	Today is April 22, 2009.
	We're informing you that tonight is the live broadcast of No Agenda No.
	91 at 3 p.m.
	Pacific, 5 p.m.
	Central, or 11 p.m.
	GMT. From Gitmo Nation East on a secret airstrip in southwest London, Adam Curry.
	And balancing the axis of Gitmo coverage from an unknown location to even the most advanced Iridium satellites, from Gitmo Nation West, John C. Dvorak.
	This evening, Crackpot and Buzzkill will fend off lunacy, conspiracy, and stupidity the world over.
	Privateers, scholars, and loyal citizens of Gitmo Nation, lend them your ears, because tonight is No Agenda number 91.
	Keep in mind, the space-time continuum and the No Agenda Library is filled by the donations that you make.
	So head to noagendalibrary.com or dvorak.org slash na to make your donation today.
	From the Flux Capacitor Development Laboratory of Hyperbolic Voiceovers, I'm Parker R. Snyder.
	Now, on with the countdown.
	Sorry, I meant the...
	Well, let's just do this one.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill!
	Yeah!
	Yay!
	Hey, everybody.
	No agenda number 91.
	That's what I call an intro.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that was pretty good.
	I liked it.
	I totally liked it.
	And you're so right, because VLC, when QuickTime wouldn't open up the MP3 file, it had a couple of stumbles there, but it made it through.
	That was pretty amazing.
	Yeah, well, VLC is a work of art.
	It's a good product.
	Is that open source, or what is the deal with that?
	Yeah, no, it's open source freeware.
	Yeah.
	I've got to tell you, man, I've learned so much.
	I've been on the command line again.
	We talked about something off the air.
	The show basically continues when we shut it down, ladies and gentlemen.
	And we agreed it would be interesting if I could actually measure how much time I'm saving by going command line only.
	Some people go commando, I go command line.
	And I can, with certainty, can say, John, on a daily basis, I'm already saving an hour.
	I find this somewhat ironic.
	Well, let me tell you, there is ironic.
	Go for it.
	Because you're a Mac user.
	It's totally ironic.
	You're absolutely right.
	But on the other hand, Mac is, of course, Unix and is built upon a long-standing tradition of a command-line interface.
	So here's how I measured it in a number of ways.
	And by the way, of course I don't really gain any time because that hour that I save by doing a lot of my work and communications through a command line, of course I fill up with other cool ways to save time using the command line.
	I wind up spending twice as much time on this shit.
	You spend the same time net but get twice as much done.
	True, true.
	Thank you.
	But you'd be amazed how much time you spend waiting for the user interface, waiting for the GUI. Basically, I looked at how much time do I wait on certain webpages that I'm rendering, but certainly email and Twitter also.
	It's just amazing how much time you save.
	It can be anywhere from 20 seconds to a minute per action.
	And that really adds up at the end of the day.
	Yeah, I find it annoying.
	I mean, I know what you're saying.
	Because I'll do something, click on something, and I'll wait and wait and wait, and I'm looking at the clock tick away.
	Yeah, that's your life.
	That's your life ticking away, right there in front of your very eyes.
	But once you get into it, all the tools are there.
	Here's how nerdy I am.
	I've configured Mutt with Gmail.
	Huh.
	And it's quite interesting.
	Once you get it all, you have to put in the effort to get it all set up, but then you can pipe stuff out to VIM and into my outline for the show, and you can pop open.
	See, whenever you need the user interface, like a browser that renders a pretty page the way someone was meant to communicate it, you can pop that open.
	It's just a couple of keys.
	And my hand, the intent here is my hand does not go to the mouse.
	It stays on the keyboard.
	I should be able to do everything with a couple of commands.
	I base everything on how many keystrokes.
	Fascinating.
	Of course, you know that I said on our last show that Twitter is the command line for the web.
	People are going to become very accustomed to it.
	I think I'm actually on a new trend here.
	We're already accustomed to typing follow or leave or D for direct message.
	It's not that far removed from LS. And I'm surprised someone doesn't have Twitter hooked up to their command line.
	I'm sure they do.
	They must be somebody.
	Well, I'm glad you're having such a great time typing.
	For someone who never had typing lessons and is self-taught.
	Oh, you've never had typing lessons?
	No, that's not tradition or culture in Europe.
	Like in the States, you get driver's ed, another thing that is not culture.
	You've got to see my son John's typing.
	Holy crap.
	Yeah, well, my daughter Christina, who also is self-taught, her hands fly over the keyboard, John.
	Yeah, a lot of kids at this age, from about whatever age to whatever age, since they've been on these machines, they're on the computer a lot.
	And they just scream.
	It's unbelievable.
	And I look at how she's...
	If you look at any kid's keyboard, you'll see that the backspace is worn out.
	I mean, not just...
	Oh, yeah, you can't react.
	They're banging that sucker.
	And it's not just the word.
	It's like it's indented.
	It's actually...
	Some of the surface has been scraped off.
	Yeah, the funny thing is the way these kids type, they never take their hands off the keyboard when they're typing, so they type and if they make a huge, you know, like if they got a word misspelled 30 words back, they'll just erase all those words instead of grabbing the mouse and going to that one word, right, like we do.
	They erase everything just with that backspace key and then they just retype it again.
	It's almost instant.
	It's just as fast, if not faster.
	Well, what's interesting, though, is if they were taught, maybe in school, just one step further, which is, hey, if you're at the end of that really long line and you want to change that word at the beginning, you can do question mark, type in the first three letters of the word, it'll search backwards, then you can hit capital R and overtype it.
	I mean, it would save them so much time if they only learned one more step, one little iteration in the interface.
	To be honest about it, they type so fast, I don't think it would save them that much time.
	It would totally!
	I think they like to hit the backspace key.
	It's kind of fun to watch.
	Don't you like pounding the backspace key?
	Pound, pound, pound, pound, pound.
	Yeah, well you got me on that one.
	Hey man, I really appreciate you jumping in and doing the show with me tonight because my travel plans changed like in the last four hours.
	How did that happen?
	Opportunity came a-knocking, so I've got to go out to San Francisco first before I go back to New York and then come back to San Francisco.
	Oh, that's opportunity, all right.
	So, opportunity to get...
	You said you had a bad cold.
	Yeah, I picked this up.
	We calculated with a 48-hour incubation time.
	This must have been all those wheezing, coughing Brits on the plane back from Portugal.
	God, the plane was just filled with people hawking.
	And I know I picked something up.
	And it's only like a nasal thing.
	That's when you need Zycam.
	Zycam?
	Oh, is that...
	We've got to get Zycam to sponsor us.
	I'm a huge Zycam fanatic.
	We're not going to take any sponsors on this show.
	No, well, for Tech 5.
	Oh, okay.
	Good save.
	You're right.
	But Zycam works, I don't know, it's a zinc, you know, it gets in your nose and it does something.
	I haven't had a cold for years ever since.
	I use this stuff religiously.
	My wife, of course, says, ah, the documentation says it's bull.
	It's just a placebo.
	And I say, okay, well, fine.
	I don't care.
	It still works.
	As long as it works for you.
	Do you take that when you get it, before you get it, as a protection?
	Do you start to feel a cold coming on?
	You just blast your noses, holes, your nose holes.
	Yes.
	With a little of this stuff.
	Blast your nose holes.
	This is the commercial.
	Hey, we use Zycam.
	Blast your nose holes with Zycam.
	And boom, the cold just stops.
	It's amazing.
	You never catch a cold.
	I haven't had a cold for a long time.
	Here's the commercial for the product that I endorse.
	What is this?
	Forget about it.
	Is that you coughing?
	Yeah, it's the waking dick.
	So you got the real news thing?
	I got a real news story I want to talk about right away.
	Yeah, hold on a second.
	I sure do.
	And now, to Real News.
	The system's kind of freaky today.
	Real News, here on Noagent, everybody.
	Over now to Studio B with JCB. Johnny Boy, what you got for us?
	So I should have some pictures posted sometime later today, or maybe even tomorrow on the blog.
	The big news here in the Bay Area, at least as far as I'm concerned...
	Is that locomotive number 844, the classic from Union Pacific, the longest-running steam locomotive still operating.
	Of course, it's done mostly to haul around this museum.
	It was in Oakland yesterday.
	It took off today to head for Stockton.
	This thing is...
	And, of course, the place was packed with, you know, well-wishers.
	This locomotive, which has got...
	These drive wheels, it's got eight of them, that are, if you stand up to one, it's taller than, it's about your height.
	They're 80 inches.
	Huge!
	Anyway, it's one of the most amazing pieces of equipment I've ever seen.
	I mean, I've seen some other steam locomotives, and you see them in these, you know, a lot of people.
	Have a steam locomotive for a little ride to give you or something like that.
	But nothing like this thing is a monster.
	It's huge and it's got the big wheels.
	It's got all kinds of gears and steam coming out of everything.
	It's an amazing...
	You look at it and you go, I don't think that in the United States today we could build This thing, again, it's just, I don't think we have, all we do is make little bitty things now.
	Tips.
	You know, someone sent me an article, coincidentally today, about the track width of the U.S. trains, which I believe is 4 foot 5 8 inches or some ridiculous...
	It's 4 foot 8 and 1 half inches.
	Right.
	Do you know why it is 4 foot and 1 8 half inches, John?
	8 and 1 half inches.
	No.
	I used to, it's a piece of trivia I used to know, I don't know.
	So, the way you trace it back is, our track, of course, was built by the British.
	And the British standard was set because they built their railroads upon existing, basically, carriage routes.
	And the carriage routes...
	We're intended for horse-drawn carriages, two horses next to each other, and two horses' asses basically gives you an axle width of about four foot, eight and one whatever inches.
	And those roads, those routes in the road, or that made up the road, of course came originally from the Romans.
	So we're dealing with that spacing because of...
	The Roman bureaucracy.
	Bureaucracy lives forever.
	There you go.
	Unbelievable.
	Yeah, it makes sense, though, when you think about it.
	Yeah, it's got to be something.
	It is kind of an odd number, four, eight and a half inches.
	In the world of standards, yeah, it's kind of wonky.
	Anyway, so this giant steam engine, which is just an amazing product, which again, I'd say I would challenge, you know, I think that we don't have the skills to do these kinds of things anymore, and this thing was built in 1944.
	It's never been removed from service, and so it's been running ever since.
	I think it's a beautiful condition.
	And it's just a couple of little facts, because I grabbed the sheet that was in the cab.
	The thing weighs 454 tons.
	Are you a guy that has recordings of steam locomotives as they...
	Tell me you have these stereo recordings and it's like, oh, that's the old 309.
	Tell me you have it.
	Tell me you have it, Dvorak.
	I'm about an inch away from the person that you're describing.
	But I don't.
	Although I would.
	Are you not alone?
	Is there someone else in our midst tonight?
	No.
	Oh, you meant figuratively.
	I'm sorry, I just had to blow my nose.
	God, this is a horrible head cold.
	There's an amazing trend happening in the United Kingdom that just made me L the F-O-L this morning when I saw the front page of the Financial Times.
	So while Gitmo Nation East is spending billions of pounds on...
	Security, cyber security.
	Of course, we know they keep losing thumb drives everywhere.
	Right.
	So, several weeks ago, actually, it first happened in Belgium, and we discussed it on this show.
	I believe it was one of the directors of the Fortis Bank, who was his picture was taken while he was outside getting out of his car.
	And today, with the resolution on cameras, 12 to 15 to 20 megapixels, if you've got a couple of papers in your hand, you can zoom in on that shit.
	And of course, it was all about the bailout plans.
	Then just a few weeks ago, the security director of the UK government had to resign because he did the same thing, stepped out of his car with confidential top secret memos about the Cobra team.
	And so they had to hurry up all of a sudden and jump all these guys up north because they were after them.
	And terrorists, of course, child molesters, God knows what.
	And today on the front page, and this is so funny.
	I wish I could send you the picture.
	I couldn't find it online, John.
	Hazel Blair's...
	The Communities and Local Government Secretary.
	She's leaving a cabinet meeting at 10 Downing Street.
	And she's in the picture like, hello press, don't you like my new hair?
	She's really smiling and posing and she's got a black little fuck me dress on, which of course you wouldn't want to do, but she's got the dress on and she's got her smart little blazer and in her hand she's holding some papers and oh yes!
	It's all about the ministers of parliament's allowances and the plans to scrap their second home allowance, which has been huge real news here in Gitmo Nation.
	So while all these jabronis are sitting there spending billions on security, they can't even observe the very first basic level of keeping documents secure by not showing them to the press on camera.
	Why don't...
	There's a shortage of envelopes in that country?
	What's the deal?
	I don't know.
	And you can literally see the picture.
	She's holding like a manila folder and she's got her bag.
	You know, wrong bag lady, by the way.
	And then grasp right there in between her fingers and the manila folder because she didn't have time to put it in.
	But the picture, John, is just hilarious.
	If someone can find that, throw it on Twitter.
	Because she just has this, like, I'm so cool-looking grin.
	I'm together.
	I'm a well-put-together woman.
	Flashing off the top-secret memos.
	Well, now the thing you want to do is you want to use this whole process for disinformation.
	Ooh, because, yeah, of course.
	Of course.
	It will be.
	Yeah, so the next couple of these things you see are probably bogus.
	Yeah, you're right.
	Gosh, as ahead of the game we are...
	We're so ahead of the game, it's unbelievable.
	Yeah, but they're still one step ahead of us.
	Yeah, maybe that last one was bogus.
	No, but this is about...
	I think this is probably real.
	There's a whole bunch of crap going on.
	But it doesn't matter.
	At the end of the day, who gives a crap?
	You know, the Tom Mills are...
	I've been protesting for, you hear very little about it, but I've driven past them many times in the past few weeks.
	They're standing outside the government buildings protesting, because I don't know if anyone knows what's going on with the Tamil Tigers and You know, there's tens of thousands of people whose lives are in jeopardy, and they're basically sandwiched in between these rebels and the government army.
	You know, everyone's like, all anyone cares about is some frickin' pirates.
	So the pirate, you know, the guy they brought to New York, I saw him...
	You mean the kid?
	You mean the punk?
	Yeah.
	The fuckin' punk!
	Did you see him?
	He's laughing.
	He looks like he's having the time of his life.
	Of course.
	He's got a trip to New York.
	The dude's been eating catfish all his life.
	He's like, check it out, my man.
	I'm in Nueva Yorker.
	It was the funniest thing I've ever seen.
	He looks like he's 12.
	It's unbelievable.
	Wait a minute.
	He's the ringleader.
	Oh, yeah.
	And now it's not even the purported ringleader.
	Now we know he's the ringleader.
	Yeah, that's...
	One of our producers...
	Sent me a note, and he doesn't want me to mention his name.
	We'll just call him Ben.
	Good day, Adam.
	Just listening to the latest No Agenda.
	Wanted to dash off a quick note before heading to work.
	I'm in the Canadian Navy and serve on a destroyer.
	We only have three of these, so please don't give my real name.
	Navy SEALs.
	Oh, this is what we were talking about.
	Navy SEALs would have been choppered onto the American ships, not parachuted.
	We have people dropped off all the time while at sea.
	Well, if you're under siege from pirates, I don't think you want to be flying.
	That's the thing that worries me.
	If you've got pirates there, you don't want to be flying around in a helicopter.
	Anyway.
	Well, I don't think you want to be dropped on a shoot.
	Yeah, I think you can.
	I don't know.
	Well, he says, just to go on, almost all ships from all countries bring snipers when heading off on these types of deployments.
	A single rifle round is a little more tactical than a three-inch shell when dealing with a hostage situation.
	Exactly.
	Why are we sending huge warships over when all you need is a couple of sharpshooters?
	I'll assume other nations have one sharpshooter on board at all times.
	Um...
	Alright, that's about it.
	He says that they also drop off all kinds of stuff, but it's never parachute.
	It's always choppered.
	But this whole thing stinks to high hell.
	It's a huge distraction.
	Somebody sent me a note similar to that, only it was apparently there's a blogger on the ship.
	Yeah, I read that.
	The captain.
	No, not the captain.
	I did read that.
	One of the officers.
	One of the officers, and there was a whole bunch of abbreviations, and you talked about how they...
	Right, that one I saw.
	Yeah, I'll put that in the show notes.
	Erin Burnett was there!
	On the scene.
	She was on the ship?
	I don't know if she...
	There was a couple of different news reports, but she was there, and I think she was on the ship.
	What was she doing there?
	The coverage of the piracy!
	And then you know it's a setup.
	You know, and as much as it pains me to say that, because I love Erin Burnett, but we know that she's a shill.
	We know that she worked for Goldman.
	We know that she's a member of the CFR. So she's the pretty girl who goes and sells it to everybody.
	What the hell is going on other than a naval buildup in the region?
	They've got every country is sending a warship there, John.
	For these 18-year-old punks, give me a break.
	Yeah, I know there's some sort of a scam going on.
	The other thing that they're saying is probably a prelude to an invasion.
	But somebody was also mentioning that this is also a good setup for the new Blackwater to get some business.
	Well, two things about that.
	One report shows, in the show notes is where you'll find it, Blackwater is still operating in Iraq, even though they lost their contract.
	They don't stop.
	They're still protecting civilians.
	They've got all kinds of business going on even though they were thrown out.
	And there's something else I was going to say about...
	I was talking about them going to Africa or on these ships.
	I can't remember what it was now.
	I'm a little fuzzy.
	I've never seen you lose your train of thought right in the middle.
	I don't know.
	What the hell was I going to say?
	You just might interrupt you and then you lose your train of thought.
	I'm sorry.
	That was a stand-alone, ladies and gentlemen.
	Stand-alone.
	You will not be held responsible.
	I'm sure the Blackwater stories will come back to you.
	It wasn't a Blackwater story.
	It was about the military build-up.
	Oh, I remember what it is.
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Forgot again.
	No, a lot of these...
	So Meyersk.
	M-A-E-R-S-K. So several of the Meyersk ships have been hijacked.
	So the Meyersk ships...
	First of all, the hull and their contents are insured by, wait for it, AIG. And this is the same company, and that's reported widely, that transported arms in the Iran-Contra affair.
	So I just want to throw that on top of our mountain of bits and bobs as we try and figure out.
	It'll emerge sooner or later.
	We're going to go, oh crap, oh that's what it was about.
	Yeah, but the job of our show is to figure it out before it happens.
	So people can use this in the cocktail party.
	It's how you get laid.
	It's how you get laid.
	We will help you get laid.
	Probably with someone who's really nerdy looking and might read right-wing literature and might be a Ron Paul supporter.
	But you will get laid.
	Some of those nerd girls are pretty hot.
	I got up early this morning and I'm looking out the window.
	Looking out of my window.
	I'm walking down the street with a shillelagh.
	A shillelagh?
	A walking stick.
	A shillelagh.
	Isn't that a shillelagh?
	A big, giant Irish walking stick?
	You know, it's a big stick.
	You walk with it.
	Okay.
	You know, it's just a walking stick.
	A big walking stick.
	I'm with you, shillelagh.
	I'm with you.
	It brought to mind, whatever happened to this trend of walking around with a walking stick?
	Because it's got to be, you know, you get a little more exercise, you got the walking stick, nobody's going to mess with you when you have one of these big walking sticks like this.
	John, you have hit on the big one here.
	This is the perfect premium for this show, the No Agenda...
	Shillelagh.
	And you know the walk softly, carry a big stick?
	Dude!
	Exactly, that's exactly what I wrote down here.
	I love it!
	Speak softly and carry a big stick.
	I thought it was walk softly and carry a big stick.
	I think it's speak softly.
	But you walk with a stick.
	You don't speak with a stick unless it's a talking stick.
	No, but you speak softly and then you have a...
	Why are you yelling?
	You walk softly and you've got this big stick in case anybody messes with you.
	But we could have carved in it, I have no agenda, other than to beat you with my ugly stick.
	Actually, it should be called not a shillelagh, but a no-agenda ugly stick.
	You know, the funny thing is, I think that's why that term ugly stick came from.
	It looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick.
	Because the shillelaghs are ugly.
	I can't spell shillelagh.
	Let's just do ugly stick.
	It's easier.
	But, you know, I've noticed that...
	But anyway, I had one of these years ago.
	I never...
	You don't...
	But can you imagine everybody, like, walking around San Francisco with a stick?
	With an ugly stick?
	I love it.
	And a hat.
	And a proper bowler.
	Now, there's also the cane, which is not a walking stick.
	No, no, no.
	That's a pittance compared to the no-agenda ugly stick.
	So the cane, you know, people walk around with the guy, so I'll get a cane.
	I think this used to be a fad or a trend, or people used to use these things, because it actually makes it easier to walk, A, less likely to fall over and get a broken hip, especially if you're older.
	I don't know, maybe we should try to revitalize the...
	This old tradition.
	I like it.
	And I think we were talking about premiums, and I think that's the perfect premium.
	The no-agenda ugly stick.
	The problem with it is a premium is it's hard to ship.
	No, you could put it in like a poster roll.
	Well, these things are pretty big.
	So people ship out...
	Well, then we could have the Ron Popeil version that unfolds.
	It's telescopic.
	Then you're talking about it has to be engineered.
	I just got a tweet that this whole thing could...
	Remember we talked about the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea that Clinton was pushing, Hillary Clinton, so that the United Nations is then the owner and the boss of all sea airspace above it and all water below it?
	Maybe that's a part of this whole pirate thing.
	It's now law.
	Oh, it makes sense.
	That could make total sense.
	The UN now has to rule all oceans.
	This might be part of the internationalism.
	Yeah.
	In other words, first you give the UN the world's oceans, which is bullshit, because what happens to the gambling casinos offshore?
	Well, we tax them.
	That's exactly what happens.
	Are you kidding me?
	But anyway, once you give them jurisdiction, then it's just the next step to the world court, the world government.
	Oh, John, my God, John, excuse me.
	I need to take a drink.
	I have once again pulled you over to the evil Death Star.
	I'm quite proud.
	I've never not thought this.
	I've always been against the internationalists.
	I wish people understood that it really isn't a good idea.
	My in-laws are here.
	They just arrived, and it's sad because I had a couple days.
	I can't handle them for a week, and they're here for like 10 days.
	But, you know, three or four days, it's great.
	Now I see why you're rushing off to San Francisco.
	No, no, no.
	I'm really bummed because I'd really planned it, so perfect timing.
	You know, I got a couple days, and I can skedaddle out of here.
	And now I'm not even sitting with them this evening, although now they're in bed.
	But they're both 83 and were in Rotterdam during the Second World War and, you know, their houses were bombed and friends of theirs were killed and my father-in-law ate garbage and drove a bike with wooden wheels, you know, 100 kilometers to get a sugar beet.
	I mean, you know, this kind of stuff.
	And so, you know, and they're like, they're so lovely.
	Like, well, Obama seems like a really good guy.
	I'm like, oh, shit.
	Oh, why?
	Why, God, did you make her say that?
	So I laid out a couple things, and, you know, I'm like, hey, what does that sound like?
	You know, when the government is completely controlling large corporations, says, oh, that's interesting.
	That sounds like fascism.
	And all kids compulsory will have to...
	This is a great line.
	This is my 83-year-old mother-in-law.
	All American kids, and UK now as well, because Gordon Brown has already pre-announced it, will serve at least three months of service to the country between the ages of 18 and 25.
	And she said, do they get a brown shirt with that?
	And I thought I was going to frickin' lose it.
	Because she knows.
	She knows.
	She went through it before.
	She said, wow, that sounds really familiar.
	Yeah, sure.
	And now she wants to hear more, and of course I'm leaving.
	So that's better.
	I listen to this show, and she'll get it.
	Oh, God.
	No, I don't want to let them just have their peace.
	Alright, so we have one of our fans, by the way, who retweeted our announcement that we're doing this show.
	An English woman.
	Are you on Twitter?
	Yes.
	Is she hot?
	You should look her up.
	Go to Twitter.com Mama Bear.
	M-U-M-M-A-B-E-A-R. She's from Malden.
	Hold on a second.
	And she looks like your type.
	Really?
	Hold on.
	Twitter.com slash...
	Spell it again?
	M... M-U-M-M-A-B-E-A-R. Mama Bear.
	Okay.
	Oh, she does look like that type, doesn't she?
	Oh, she has a website.
	The website doesn't have much going on.
	Jacqueline.
	No more pictures?
	Ah, she's got kids.
	Oh.
	Well, that makes her...
	She qualifies?
	She's totally qualified.
	She has kids.
	Let me get a little in the morning there from Mama Bear.
	I love the title of our website, Mama Bear's Twaddle.
	Yeah.
	Oh my goodness.
	I was amused.
	So big news today, Johnny Boy.
	I was talking to Ron, Ron Bloom, chairman of Mevio.
	He was out in Seattle.
	And of course, as I said, we were talking about...
	Some opportunities.
	And then the latest two to the head suicide came up.
	And even Ron said, holy, of course I'm referring to the CFO of Freddie Mac.
	Even Ron said, you know, I find this one hard to believe.
	He said, 41-year-old guy, he was only in the job since September, hangs himself?
	Come on!
	I mean, no, no people.
	Yeah, we need to laugh at somebody's misfortune, but this doesn't sound right.
	No, this is so frickin' wrong, and I've been trying to look up information on the guy.
	He's actually a long-time career Freddie Macer.
	He was there for 16 years.
	So he definitely knows all the ins and outs.
	He probably knows too much.
	But, you know, yes.
	Well, he did.
	But 41 years old, I mean, to all of a sudden, just like, oh, well, and then, so let's say that he is, there's a reason for it.
	It wasn't just because he was unhappy in his marriage.
	You know?
	What is the claim?
	Have you read the claim?
	No, no, no.
	We'll never hear about it again.
	No, we'll never hear it again.
	No, his wife found him dead by hanging, and that's about it.
	And we'll never hear anything again.
	Ever.
	But I do think we should start a new website called TwoToTheHead.com.
	We should.
	Absolutely.
	All this questionable shit.
	I'm never going to be faster than our producer.
	Well, will someone please register that for me so I don't have to fuck around with it now?
	And then we'll transfer it.
	Our producers are so awesome.
	I got people writing code now.
	No, this is fantastic.
	I Twittered like...
	You need people writing code.
	Yes.
	I Twittered, you know, hey, I'm trying to do this and access some API, and I got like three guys, you know, all like...
	It's the open source community.
	I love it.
	You're absolutely right.
	You're absolutely right.
	Speaking of which, how's our business model doing?
	Well, we've got a couple.
	People are still throwing us weird numbers, but stuff like 666 is getting old.
	But let me give you a couple of the donations that we've had, although my session just timed out, so I have to go back.
	Hang on.
	I'll help you fill it up.
	We have a new night.
	Uh-oh.
	And I'm not going to go into the actual details of his contribution in terms of what it means, because I know, because I had made a few guesses myself, and he's told me.
	Do I get the guess?
	Well, yeah, I'm going to tell you, but let me just go to some of these other numbers.
	We're getting 1984, 2001, obviously.
	This one here baffled me.
	2674.
	26...
	Well, no.
	2674.
	Wasn't that 1337?
	Twice.
	Twice, yeah.
	So we're both leet.
	Yeah, I got that one.
	Oh, okay.
	Then we have...
	Wait a minute.
	I'm supposed to alert you.
	We talked about that on the last show, John.
	Oh, we did?
	Yeah.
	Well, maybe we got a second one.
	Let me find my 9-11.
	That's what is a new one.
	We haven't had that before, which is kind of funny.
	Yep.
	And I don't think we talked about that, did we?
	Did you hear the alert?
	No.
	Well, we did talk about the 1333.
	Yep.
	Someone suggested that we put, for our donations, which you can find at dvorak.org slash na or noagendalibrary.com, that we put up a number of these different numerological suggestions.
	So you could make a 1337 donation every month.
	Or something.
	Yeah.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	The 1337 one is interesting to me, but...
	So what was our knight?
	Do we have any more?
	Okay, our knight.
	Let me find him here.
	And by the way, we appreciate every single donation, even if it's writing some code, distributing the show, setting up six-watt FM transmitters.
	Yeah, I think that's cool.
	A couple guys are doing that.
	Are you kidding me?
	It's awesome.
	It's absolutely awesome.
	It's totally awesome.
	Michael Zelina is our new knight.
	And he donated $1,081.
	Wow.
	Hold on a second, John.
	Hold on before you say anything.
	And that's another one for the Armory.
	What a fantastic...
	I'm blown away by that.
	Yeah, and he actually made a comment that he'll probably continue to contribute in a big way.
	Really?
	Jesus.
	But the thing is...
	I'm just going to leave it out there for you.
	I'd just like to know one...
	I'm sorry.
	Is it a patriotic thing?
	Is it...
	No, he thinks it would do a great show, and he thinks it needs to be publicly supported, and he thought it was a good thing to support.
	I really appreciate that.
	Of course, he's a knight now.
	Yes, and he gets an ugly stick when we make him.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	So one of the things that, you know, I'm just going to throw it out there.
	I challenge anybody to figure out what this means.
	108100.
	Figure it out.
	You know, you'll get a kudo if you can do it.
	Now, I'll have two new $50 contributors, the Suwin Corporation and John...
	Edgecombe.
	So, thanks guys.
	Oh, and by the Subin Corporation gave us, there's another screwy one, 5264.
	5264?
	Yeah.
	I'm going to write that down.
	Hold on a second.
	5264.
	And that's another one for the Armory.
	There's another one.
	Diana Maroney gave us 5440.
	Now that one is obvious.
	Hold on.
	5440?
	My cold is hurting my numbers.
	Okay, 5440 is an old 5440, kind of like Tippecanoe and Tyler, too.
	5440 or fight.
	It was a revolution where you cut off the borders, and I think it had something to do with...
	It was back in the 1800s or the late 1700s.
	I can't remember, actually.
	And it's also a band from Canada.
	Oh, okay.
	We also have a couple of oddball ones here.
	There's a 3162.
	I don't get.
	There's a 451.
	451 means something.
	And here's a baffling one.
	1963.
	When Kennedy was shot.
	Oh, damn.
	So what's the 1081, man?
	That's bugging me.
	For one thing, I'm going to let it remain as a challenge.
	I'll tell you in the next show.
	Alright.
	It is off the wall.
	And am I going to go, yeah, of course?
	No.
	I love it.
	You're going to go, have we talked to Guantanamo about some of our guys?
	But it's wild.
	In fact, it was like a jaw-dropper.
	Oh, good.
	Well, I'll work on it.
	Don't tell me.
	That's good.
	Good luck.
	Hey, we haven't talked about climate.
	Oh, 451, I just got it.
	It's Fahrenheit 451.
	Oh, Fahrenheit 451, hello!
	That was easy.
	I'm writing these down.
	Are you keeping a record of these somewhere?
	No, they're all on tape.
	Oh, tape, no less.
	Reel to reel, John?
	Two-track?
	I don't know what to call it.
	You know, what do you say when you're making a recording nowadays?
	We're in the ether, baby.
	We're just in the ether.
	I mean, I still say the word tape.
	You know, I say I'm going out to take pictures.
	I know, I know.
	Hey, I'll play another record for you.
	Let me play another record.
	That's another big joke.
	I've got another topic here.
	Oh, lovely.
	We'll talk about the 1081 next week.
	Unless I come up with it during this show.
	You're not coming up with anything, believe me.
	You can't come up with the 451.
	That isn't the size of a megabyte.
	No, that's 1028, right?
	Or a kilobyte.
	1028 is a kilobyte, so it's not that.
	You know what's funny is, nobody's given us 1028, that's actually a good one.
	I thought, I would have expected 64, you know, all of these, you know, 512, what would a 512 be to you?
	$512?
	No, yeah.
	Here's one that would be good.
	Well, I asked you a question, what would the 512 be?
	512, uh...
	That's not the marijuana day.
	No, that's 420.
	512, isn't it the original Mac?
	Wasn't that the 512K? Oh, right, 512K. Yeah.
	I think what would be a good one, this would be hard to figure out, but that's the one I would dream up.
	It'd be $64.01.
	That'd be 64-bit.
	Okay.
	Ba-da-bing, baby!
	Okay, so 2tothehead.com is registered.
	Thank you very much.
	2tothehead.
	Who registered that?
	Nathan.
	Thanks, Nathan.
	You got a topic.
	You got a topic?
	No, you said you had a topic.
	Yeah, I got a topic.
	We need a jingle for our food and wine news, I think.
	I have something that may be appropriate.
	Hello, Kettle?
	This is the pot calling.
	I don't know.
	It's a stretch.
	Yeah, it is.
	So, I've been, you know, railing, or not railing, but complimenting or discussing, I don't know what I've been doing, but I've been discussing linguisa.
	Which is the Portuguese sausage that is pretty, it's a standard quality, delicious, I think is the world's greatest sausage.
	Now, John, you do know that we've discussed linguiça many times.
	Yeah, I know we discussed it.
	That's how this came to be, because I got a bunch of email about it, so we know we discussed it.
	Okay.
	Now, so you don't have to honk the horn.
	But I didn't think about this, because when somebody mentioned, you know, there's a big Portuguese community in Brazil, and I'm thinking, how come I never had linguiça down there?
	I wasn't paying much attention.
	And so this guy was writing about it.
	He's in Minnesota or someplace, and he found some place that supposedly serves it, or he can get it, or there's a sausage company.
	I've decided I think it'd be good just to put the word out.
	Does anybody have a...
	First of all, I have to know what good linguisa tastes like.
	And if you need some, you can get it from Taylor's Sausage in Southern Oregon.
	But if you have a linguisa factory or a sausage factory in your area, I'd like to know about it.
	I'd like to document this sausage around the country.
	Where you can get it.
	Anyway, that's it.
	No, that's a good idea.
	It's just a plea.
	Wouldn't that be beautiful?
	You should register Linguisa on Twitter, and then someone can just Twitter a zip code, and then you'll return an address where you can buy Linguisa.
	Oh, that would be cool.
	That's how my brain works.
	Yeah.
	Well, this is like you and your...
	You like automated stuff.
	That's what I like about you.
	Oh, thank you, honey.
	That means you're not requiring...
	Trying to work all the time.
	That's it.
	That's my list.
	I got the big train, the walking stick.
	Eggs is the only other topic I have.
	Let me just send you this.
	Oops.
	I sent it to the wrong person.
	Oops.
	He'll be wondering why I sent him that.
	That was dumb.
	Here you go.
	You sent something to somebody else?
	Yeah, I sent this to Gary Kurtz.
	No, someone just sent me a link to the Kaito BT-409 anti-shock hiking pole with nine LED flashlight.
	Only $19.99.
	It's got a 9-LED flashlight on it.
	And it's foldable.
	Hmm.
	That's a good-ass ugly stick, man.
	Look at that thing.
	Look at that thing.
	It's got accessories.
	It's got a little compass on it.
	Yeah, that could be it.
	Anybody who wants to look it up, it's on Amazon.
	K-A-I-T-O-B-T-4-0-9.
	Hmm.
	Oh, it's 1024.
	You see people hiking a lot, but a lot of them aren't smart enough to bring a pole with them.
	If you're hiking in the bushes and through the...
	You know, you should have one of these poles.
	You know, I never go anywhere without my pole.
	Well, I mean one of these poles.
	All right.
	I got plenty of stuff for you, my friend.
	Oh, that happened, I think, right the day after we did our last show.
	The 21 polo horses that died.
	Did you hear about that?
	No, I missed this.
	Where was this?
	I think it happened in Venezuela.
	I think it was Venezuela.
	Now, of course, my link has expired.
	Crap.
	Um...
	No, let me just look that up real quick, because that was a good story.
	You can just do 21 polo horses.
	Yeah, here it is.
	21 polo horses, dead pox, impossible cause.
	At a championship event in Wellington, Florida.
	Oh, it was in Florida.
	But weren't they Venezuelan or Argentinian horses?
	I'm sure they were Argentinian.
	Dan Polo Pony suffered hemorrhaging of lungs.
	That's freaked out stuff, man.
	You want a Polo Pony cause?
	A drug reaction in Florida horse deaths.
	Yeah.
	Nah, something shady going on with that.
	Huh.
	Could take weeks to determine the cause.
	Interesting.
	Wellington, Florida, that's interesting.
	The Germans are fighting against a patent, or as we say in the United Kingdom, Gitmo Nation East, a patent.
	Application filed in 2005 by Monsanto, who of course want to patent the pig.
	What?
	Yes, they want to patent the pig.
	What do you mean they want to patent a pig?
	Well, Monsanto has filed a patent for, of course, a genetic manipulated pig.
	And these pigs are meatier and smell less, I presume.
	And good on you, Germany.
	I think Germany, I think they're pretty pure.
	I don't think Angela Merkel is in the game.
	I think she's just, you know, kind of like a peon who gets shuttled around.
	She's really trying.
	She's an idiot.
	Okay.
	That's another way to put it.
	But good on the Germans for freaking out over this stuff, man.
	Good for them, especially about pigs.
	You know, what difference does it make?
	It's like patenting a dog that's been bred.
	I mean, okay, this is genetically altered, but what difference does it make?
	Well, if you breed two dogs and you get a new breed of dogs, you're going to patent a dog?
	I mean, they never did that.
	You know what the Germans are mad about?
	It's because they never could do that with the Weimaraner.
	The old thing was that Weimaraner was a dog that was bred specifically to be a super dog.
	Smarter, you know, could hunt, do all these things, could talk.
	Really?
	Well, maybe not that, but they did a lot.
	And, you know, it was kept as a proprietary dog.
	They wouldn't ever let a breeding pair out.
	Hmm.
	And then one got away or something, the next thing you know, there were Weimaraners all over the world, because it was, you know, and of course they're not as, I don't know if they're better or worse, but that's the way you do it.
	You don't do it by trying to patent an animal.
	It's ridiculous.
	Well, they may get away with it, maybe not in Germany, but I'm certainly going to get away with it somewhere, and then we'll be importing them.
	Well, you know, I don't want to eat this thing.
	No.
	No.
	Definitely don't want to eat it.
	You know, there's so many pigs.
	You know, the variety of pigs that are available already, it's enormous.
	This thing is probably...
	What is the reason I'm looking at the pig story here?
	What is the point?
	It's going to produce more pork while receiving less animal feed.
	I guess that's the thing, okay?
	Well, if you look at it from the New World Order, global government, international court perspective, of course, they're eugenicists by nature, and they know that the population is out of control, growing exponentially, and we have to kill people, so you know my stance on that.
	But the food supply is the biggest problem.
	So someone's got to supply the food, and it might as well be them.
	And they've figured out ways to make more.
	Basically, it's more pig.
	More pig for the money.
	In the meantime, they become fabulously wealthy.
	They have a lock on food distribution, which means you thought money controlled people, control the food.
	And you'll kill a lot of people at the same time, because that shit ain't good to eat.
	Well, this pig, yeah, well, it's like that milk.
	And Monsanto is all over the White House administration.
	All over it.
	Yeah, they're loaded up.
	Embedded.
	I mean, it's like that milk, you know, that bovine, whatever the heck it is they shoot into cows to get them to produce more milk.
	I don't know if any, you know, that is the worst milk there is.
	I mean, the stuff I've had tasted it.
	It is tasteless.
	It's like drinking white water that's been, you know, somebody mixed some white stuff in it.
	It has no flavor.
	It has no milk flavor.
	It's crap.
	Yeah, I agree.
	And you can see, by the way, it's so easy to spot, too, with the funny thing about it.
	I don't see how they're making any more money with this milk, because you can go to a store where they have this milk, and you can see the prices.
	It's just like half the price of regular milk.
	It's like, wait a minute, getting twice as big milk and selling it for half the price because of the cost of the packaging, you're probably losing money with this crap.
	So, I don't know.
	It ain't good, man.
	It's bad economics.
	But anyway, this looks like it's going to be for producing more pork, eating less, genetically superior.
	So apparently they found some gene that makes you just chub out, and they're going to inject it into these animals, so they're just like sick.
	And then they want to have the patent on being able to identify the genes in meat in case somebody gets one of these pigs and breeds it.
	They're going to go after them and sue them.
	Exactly.
	That's what Monsanto likes to do.
	They like to get this stuff into the wild and then start suing people.
	And they do it so well.
	It's an amazing operation.
	I think they should be ashamed of themselves, to be honest about it.
	There's no quality issues.
	They don't care.
	Just, you know, mass-producing.
	If they were do-gooders, like, you know, well, we're making pigs that produce more meat, you know, and it would be better for everybody.
	If they were that sort of do-gooder, why don't they just cut this stuff loose?
	Why are they suing people over it, you know?
	Because that's how fascism works.
	The government and the big corporations are in cahoots together and they steal from the people.
	So, it's a road map, and you can pretty much read it, John.
	In fact, you've been through it before, haven't you?
	And you know, the thing that's interesting to me is that you go to, like, Spain, the Iberian, and have some of that Iberian ham that they have, where they take these special, these black pigs, and then at the end of their life, they feed them nothing but acorns.
	Because there's lots of oak in the Iberian Peninsula.
	Cork oak.
	A lot of it.
	Anyway, I don't want to go there.
	But anyway, they feed these pigs these acorns.
	It's like a prosciutto, only this is a serenio ham.
	Sometimes it's called here in the States, but it's Iberian ham.
	And they sell it everywhere.
	I mean, there's so much of it in Spain and Portugal.
	It's amazing.
	This stuff is absolutely delicious.
	I mean, anybody even tries to copy this with some...
	I mean, I think people should be eating food that makes them feel better about life.
	I mean, you're not going to do that with this kind of stuff from Monsanto and that tasteless milk and the rest of it.
	Also on the other end of the spectrum, a very interesting bill was passed in the House.
	Under the special suspension of the rules, you know how that works?
	They do this all the time.
	It seems like every single day, if you watch C-SPAN, they suspend the rules, which is basically a way of ramming something through without debate.
	It's like, hey, take this one up the butt.
	The Melanie Blocker Stokes Mom's Opportunity to Access Health Education Research and Support for Postpartum Depression Act.
	Please don't make me repeat myself.
	And this is a very interesting bill, because if you extrapolate this bill, it essentially makes every born child property of the government until you can prove as a mother that you are sane and you can handle the child.
	And it's all about getting mothers to take tests and screening while they're pregnant to determine if you are prone to postpartum depression, which in the bill is defined quite broadly.
	I have to look it up.
	There's like two different words.
	So essentially, that kid is ours until you can prove that you're sane.
	It's a very, very disturbing bill.
	Wow.
	Yeah, I'm going to see if I can...
	Let me get the definitions.
	And it sounds like a really good thing.
	You know, like, oh, we're going to help moms with postpartum depression.
	But it's not like that.
	It's like you're going to have to take their medicine.
	You're going to have to do the term postpartum condition.
	Condition.
	So that can mean depression or psychosis.
	And anything else the Secretary of Human Health and Human Services deems appropriate to fit in that category?
	Hey, somebody said that the No Agenda Stream died.
	Yeah, some people have been having trouble with it.
	Some people have been having trouble with it.
	But not everybody.
	Yeah, no, this law sounds like another...
	Where is all the people that want less government in our lives?
	What happened to them?
	We're it, baby.
	You and me.
	So did you get the note I sent you about the airplane?
	Oh, yes, about the Piaggio?
	Yeah, some guy sent me an email saying, tell Adam to get a Piaggio.
	What's he want to get this Sky King for?
	You mean King Air?
	Oh, right.
	Well, let me address it.
	Well, no, the email...
	Yeah, exactly.
	I remember that Sky King.
	I remember seeing that.
	I think it was replaced by Adam-12.
	Sky King.
	Sky King, everybody.
	It was a serial.
	As in episodic?
	Yeah, it was like every week there was another half hour.
	Yeah, another three minute episode.
	Yeah, well so was Adam 12.
	That was also a serial.
	Adam 12 was?
	Yeah, one Adam 12, one Adam 12.
	We've got a 33 in progress.
	I can remember it so vividly.
	Black and white.
	One Adam 12, one Adam 12.
	So, yeah, the email was like, oh, you really want to wind Adam up?
	Why don't you tell him that he should get a really nice-looking plane like the Piaggio?
	I'm like, go Google the Piaggio.
	It's a pusher.
	So it's got a propeller at the back, and it's got what we call a canard or a duck wing at the front.
	It looks like a flying penis.
	It's French-made.
	It's part plastic.
	Italian, French, all the same.
	It's part plastic.
	Never.
	It's not even in the same league as a King Air.
	It has a nice interior.
	You're like my wife.
	Does the door open in the back and is there a restroom?
	That's pretty much it.
	Speaking of nice planes, Nicolas Sarkozy, Napoleon II... The third.
	I'm sorry.
	No, the fourth.
	The fourth, yeah.
	He's done a little purchase because, of course, he couldn't be outdone by everybody.
	You know, I mean, Air Force One, I mean, please.
	I mean, that's the biggest penis extender in the world.
	So he had his little dinky Airbus 319.
	He's made a 157 million pound deposit, of course, to Airbus for his A330-200, which will be at least 10 meters longer and 2 meters higher.
	Then that used by aircraft used by other European leaders.
	It's all about the penis at the end of the day.
	So he's got the biggest penis in Europe.
	And it's another huge shot in the arm for Airbus.
	Which is doing quite well, and you know I track this stuff because I do believe there is a war between Airbus and Boeing, and when you read that Russia has signed a deal with Airbus to sell titanium for $4 billion, this is an interesting industry.
	Yeah, there's a big fight going on between those two companies.
	And it's no joke.
	And you know that Holland...
	This is a big discussion in Holland.
	They participated in the Joint Strike Fighter program, which everyone was against.
	It's supposed to replace the F-16...
	And, you know, it was this joint strike fighter.
	All European countries would participate.
	And, of course, like, you know, McDonnell Douglas and Boeing and whoever else are going to make this thing.
	And everyone had to put hundreds of millions into the pot.
	And now, of course, they have to take delivery and they have to do stuff.
	And so the whole country is angry because there's no money for the people.
	Yet, oh, we can't break the deal on the joint strike fighter.
	We have to take delivery of two joint strike fighters, you know, like 200 million or whatever.
	It's crazy.
	This is where all your money is going.
	You know, something like two to three terabytes of data from the Pentagon was just stolen within the last week or so, and it was all from the Joint Strike Fighter files.
	Mm-hmm.
	Doesn't surprise me.
	Why do you think I'm using the command line, John?
	Just saying.
	Somebody, Matthew Grainer, just sent me a tweet saying I should try a churrascaria.
	I've been to dozens of these churrascarias in Brazil, and I've never seen anyone come by with a skewer with a linguiça on it.
	Or maybe if I had, it didn't taste like the stuff I get in Portugal, so I don't know.
	Sorry, just an interruption here from...
	Hey, hey, hey, hey.
	I got to get my own sound effect thing to do.
	Anytime, baby.
	Anytime.
	We didn't talk about this on the last show, although it was au courant at the moment.
	Lawmakers started earlier this week.
	That would be, you know, like people in Congress and people who you supposedly elected and are supposedly doing shit for you.
	They're starting to have hearings about energy and global warming bill that would, of course, revolutionize the way we produce and use energy and how we're taxed for it.
	And the last time we had this type of bill was acid rain, I guess, was the scam at the time.
	Actually, the smog, we got rid of a lot of the smog, which is why people are buying into this crap.
	So the laws are coming, and they will be taxable, and you'll be paying taxes on anything, any use of carbon.
	What a scam!
	Make the pig with genetically modified pigness, and then charge people for the pig farts.
	I mean, these guys got it so locked down.
	Whatever happened to acid rain?
	Acid rain!
	Acid rain!
	It was a meme and it went away.
	I remember that acid rain meme, because I remember one of these 60-minute shows, they were saying, oh, the statues of Italy are all dissolving because of acid rain.
	Was Fox News around then?
	I didn't know that.
	It was like 60 minutes.
	It was like some report.
	You know, the acid rain is dissolving all the statues of Europe, and you're just imagining these things, oh, I'm dissolving.
	Oh, no.
	And then they find some old statue that was all screwed up looking and say, look what happened.
	Yeah.
	Well, we had the Great Ice Age that was coming.
	We had all of that.
	Oh, and...
	You know, there's a coincidental thing that's interesting to me, that the climatologists, which is a fairly new discipline, once they got a hold of this global warming thing, they start getting money.
	They just have it in their grasp.
	They're just not going to let this baby go.
	It's hundreds of millions, if not billions of dollars in research grants and all kinds of dough, of course.
	Global warming.
	We should be on that shit.
	Absolutely.
	I know.
	I don't understand why we're not.
	We should be big-time promoters of this crap just to get as much money as we can.
	In the morning!
	We are doing it so wrong.
	We should be like Jackie Chan.
	Do like Jackie does, man.
	Sell out of the trouble.
	Yeah, sell out, man.
	Just sell the heck out.
	Darn.
	We can't live with ourselves, ladies and gentlemen.
	That's why we don't do it.
	There's a great story on AP, which of course we'll get.
	This guy has a book coming out next week.
	He's the former Food and Drug Administration chief in command.
	And I'm paraphrasing this article now.
	But here's a direct quote from him, I guess, in the book.
	The food industry has worked out what works.
	They know what drives people to keep on eating.
	In the next great public health campaign of changing how we view food and the food industry, it has to be a part of it.
	Basically what he's saying in this book is how the food industry has figured out through neuroscience That the combination of fat and sugar sparks up dopamine in your old noggin there.
	That's your little pleasure spot there, the same that gets hit by alcohol and other fine products available in the wild.
	And that essentially what this former FDA chief is saying is, you're hooked on crap and we know it.
	The book is going to be called...
	Are you still there?
	Yeah, I'm listening.
	Okay.
	I can't find the title of the book.
	Anyway, he calls that millions in America are conditioned hypereaters.
	A willpower sapping drive to eat high-fat, high-sugar foods even when they're not hungry.
	Hmm.
	No, they don't give the title of the book.
	That's lame.
	Who's this guy's PR agent?
	Should be fired.
	We don't even have the title, it's an AP story.
	You can literally write that and hand it in to them, can't you?
	Uh...
	Uh...
	Oh, no.
	Do that again.
	Uh...
	Uh-oh.
	That's what everyone's ringtone should be.
	Uh...
	Uh...
	Well, that's expressive.
	You know what I meant.
	Stephen Hawkins went to hospital.
	To the hospital.
	I think we say to hospital here.
	You say that there, I know.
	I think it makes no sense.
	It's daft.
	They also say to university.
	It's blotto.
	No, blotto is the way you are a lot of the time.
	That's baked, right?
	Blotto is baked.
	Baked.
	That's the one thing that bothered me.
	You know, I did this, and it's still not on...
	What's the TV? I'm blanking out.
	I did Swamp Thing.
	I did an episode of Swamp Thing.
	Hulu.
	Right.
	And so that episode is still not, it's a series previous to the series that they have on there now.
	It's still not on Hulu.
	There's like one YouTube clip of one brief little scene, but it was a half hour show.
	And it was great.
	You know who also was in it?
	Rick...
	Manetti, Moretti, Manetti, who played Rick on Magnum P.I. I mean, this is the level of acting talent that was on this episode.
	I mean, just powerhouse stuff.
	And I'll never get over that in the script, and of course, I wanted to change it, but I had no say in the matter.
	That this rock and roll guy, Nathan, this rock star who's strung out on drugs, actually uses the word blotto.
	I'm like, dude, this is so wrong.
	And you can see me.
	Nobody uses the word blotto.
	I'm like, how about baked, wasted?
	No, no, no.
	I don't know.
	I couldn't get him to change it.
	Even stoned is better.
	Blotto.
	I was blotto, man.
	I'm like, no!
	No one ever say that in their right mind.
	It totally ruins the whole episode.
	Huh.
	So you played that character and you had to say it?
	Yeah, and I did, and I think I made it work.
	I made it my own.
	So you've actually used the word blotto.
	In an acting piece of art.
	Huh.
	It's worth it.
	Hulu!
	Go make that happen.
	Put that shit up.
	So Stephen Hawking...
	We have to start using it now.
	We shall.
	That way you become relevant in time, in hindsight.
	Yes, right.
	When it comes out on Hulu...
	That's right.
	I'll be like the Hoff.
	I can be as cool as the Hoff.
	Whatever that is.
	The Hoff?
	Anyway, go on with your Stephen Hawking thing.
	Rushed to a hospital in Cambridge on Monday after fighting a chest infection.
	Very ill, but they say he's going to be okay.
	He's only 67 years old.
	And, you know, Sky, Rupert Murdoch, Sky, these guys have no shame.
	So this happened on two days ago.
	So on Monday, last night, Sky puts out the Simpsons episode of Stephen Hawking.
	Have you ever seen that one with his wife?
	Yeah, it was pretty funny.
	And they're making out.
	Making out on the bed in their wheelchairs with their little robot voices.
	Those guys have no shame.
	They're like, hey, I can just see the programming.
	Hey, man, let's put the Stephen Hawking episode on.
	Yeah, that's awesome.
	Great idea.
	No shame.
	And no one takes a look at it, you know.
	It's crazy.
	The show that has no shame and it really gets carried away, I think, in borderline taste.
	Family guys.
	Yeah, Family Guy.
	I mean, I looked into the Family Guy, because I only started watching the Family Guy about, I don't know, maybe a year ago, because I never liked it when it first came out.
	I thought it was stupid.
	And then I looked it up on one of the, you know, it's history, and it turns out it's been canceled twice.
	Really?
	And it was canceled after, like, the first two seasons.
	Terrible, by the way.
	I don't watch anything from 99 or 2000.
	And then it got back a little bit back, and they ran into someone, and they got canceled again, and then there was a big uproar, and everybody, they put it back on for one more time.
	And so this is actually the third iteration of the show.
	And now, and I tried to get my wife to watch it.
	She says, I hate that show.
	It sucks.
	And, you know, she likes humorous stuff.
	Yeah.
	But she won't watch it because I think she got, you know, people saw it early on, like myself, were kind of preconditioned to think it sucks.
	But meanwhile, my son, who watches it, you know, he thinks it's terrific, and most people that start watching it, the newer episodes, love it.
	It's a great show.
	Yeah, I love it, too.
	I think it's just outstanding.
	So here's one for the missus, for Mimi.
	According to the BBC, scientists have found the pleasure nerves.
	There's actual money going to this research.
	A team, including scientists from the Unilever company, that's who funds research peeps, have identified a class of nerve fibers in the skin which specifically send pleasure messages.
	Hmm.
	People had to be stroked at a certain speed.
	I'm trying to do this with a straight face, man.
	People had to be stroked at a certain speed, which, by the way, for the perfect sensation, is 4 to 5 centimeters per second.
	How more explicit could you get?
	45 centimeters per second to activate...
	Is that back and forth?
	Well, I guess each way.
	One way.
	And some people could do four centimeters one way and five centimeters the other.
	I mean, it just kind of works better.
	And doing that activates the pleasure sensation.
	No kidding.
	Actually published in the Nature Neuroscience, and they say this could help...
	Understand how touch sustains human relationships.
	It's very important.
	So I think it would be...
	I just came up with...
	I don't know.
	I just came up with a product.
	Does it involve a walking stick and stroking?
	I never thought about the walking stick part, but it does involve stroking.
	I think they have a little speedometer device so you can get your speed down.
	It would be like a mouse pad.
	So you can measure that you're doing 4 to 5 centimeters per second.
	So you can get that motion to the back right speed.
	And you will have the most pleasure.
	Because apparently, I mean, I would assume that they're talking about these nerve fibers are all over the body.
	We're not talking about just, you know, some place that would make you have a lot of pleasure.
	No, no, it's all over.
	It's all over.
	So if you can get that down, so then you can give somebody a caress.
	And you've already practiced your speed, so you get the speed right down.
	Every day you go work out for about an hour, practicing back and forth.
	So you hit that beep, beep, beep, beep.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Check it out, though.
	If the stroke was faster or slower than the optimum speed, the touch was not pleasurable and the nerve fibers were not activated.
	Scientists also discovered that the C-tactile nerve fibers, as they're known, are only present on hairy skin and are not found on the hand.
	This is important information.
	On hairy skin.
	Yes, I think this is...
	And now, back to real news.
	This is fantastic.
	Professor Francis McGlone, now based at Unilever.
	I mean, you know that Unilever is coming out with a product.
	First we had Viagra, now this.
	After an academic career where he carried out research into nerve response, says this is likely to be a deliberate design of the human body.
	We believe this could be Mother Nature's way of ensuring that mixed messages are not sent to the brain when it is in use as a functional tool.
	Well, one of our listeners must have the engineering skills to make this device I'm discussing.
	No, it's an iPod app!
	It's an iPhone app!
	Because you can use the accelerometer.
	So you can strap it to the back of your hand and then you do your stroking.
	Think about it.
	Big graph on it is perfect.
	No, you use the screen, the touch screen.
	No, dude.
	Listen to me.
	It's got the accelerometer.
	Wait a minute.
	Sorry, I meant to say, look.
	Let me be clear.
	Look.
	The accelerometer.
	And by the way, that is clue number one.
	What?
	That I'm lying?
	No, that the word look.
	Yes.
	Clue number one.
	I'm talking about the people out there who wonder why I said that.
	You're wondering now, but I'm telling you right now, that's clue number one about the challenge.
	Go ahead.
	You said the secret word.
	Okay.
	Okay, alright.
	Alright, don't distract me.
	Okay, so you can make an iPhone app.
	By the way, don't forget the No Agenda iPhone app available in the iTunes store, and I'll put the link in the show notes.
	People love this thing.
	It's a combination of the stream, the podcast, you can Twitter, you can follow all the tweets, and send your feedback, Twitter it, they'll fix anything, they're changing it, making it better every single day.
	I guess upgrades are free, I would presume.
	So anyway...
	This would be a great addition to the app.
	You strap it to the back of your hand.
	Hold on a second.
	It's Clunker already strapping it to the back of your hand.
	Go ahead.
	Or you could hold it in your hand.
	It's a practicing device, okay?
	Let's just leave it as a practicing device.
	I don't know if it's...
	You hold it in your hand, and you go back and forth, and then it will show you exactly what your speed is, like on a graph, a nice visual display, and then you basically, while you're making the stroking motion, then you take the iPhone out of your hand, keep the same speed, and then do your stroking.
	Eh, maybe.
	If it is that sensitive and accurate, then yes.
	The G-Phone, I just downloaded an app that is a metal detector.
	It works!
	And it really works!
	It's a metal detector!
	How can it do it?
	I don't know, but it only works on the G-Phone.
	You should look in the marketplace.
	You add this app, and it works!
	You move it towards metal, and you see a little bar, and it buzzes.
	It's just like a magic wand at the airport.
	I don't know how it works.
	It's the magic of Google.
	Well, I guess.
	Okay, well, I'll get that.
	We've got all kinds of magic.
	Okay, well, anyway, there is an opportunity here, it seems to me, to make something.
	Because I think if you've got...
	A lot of the guys, you know, there is...
	I can see this.
	I can see this being where you get the exact right speed, you know, and it would probably, you know, turn somebody on.
	But I'm trying it now.
	Well, it's not on the hands because that is meant to be used as a tool.
	Yeah, but you could do the bottom of...
	I would say, you know, just anywhere on the arm or the bottom of...
	Hey, you're trying the arm here.
	No wonder we can't get on the air.
	So anyway, but you try the arm.
	I think the thigh would be good.
	The inner thigh.
	If you're going to do the inner thigh, I think you're going to have to nail the speed because otherwise you're just going to get slapped.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	I was going to say, there's so many things we don't really know about our bodies.
	And we just haven't been taught it, or we've forgotten it, or we forgot to teach.
	I mean, there are so many things that we just don't know.
	We've been conditioned to grab a pill, or whatever, just the doc will fix us up.
	But there's so many things.
	You know what I mean?
	I believe that 90% of all women, I believe, I'll make it 85%, do not actually understand their own body.
	And I mean particularly their sexual organ.
	They do not understand how it functions, what it does, and it's a travesty.
	You can send your email to Adam, careofthisshow.com.
	Seriously.
	There's stuff that women can do that they don't know they're capable of.
	And it's mental, man.
	It's all mental.
	But women are so complicated.
	Men are so simple.
	We just want to, like...
	That's why gay men get along so well.
	Because all a guy wants to do is just get laid, drink a beer, and watch some sports.
	So what's next on your list?
	Blackout Europe.
	Black out Europe?
	Yeah, the European Union Parliament has a vote coming down on the 5th of May.
	And it looks like they want to...
	This is the big three-strike-you're-out, we control everything, ISPs have to report to us.
	Oh, yeah, right, right, right.
	So this is it, right?
	I thought that was kicked out.
	I thought they said no to that whole idea.
	I think the guy who said that got two to the head and taken out back.
	Now, go to blackouteurope.eu.
	I think it's important that we at least make people aware, of course, when it's the 5th of May, where's the real campaign?
	The UK now, of course, as of weeks ago, the speeds on the bandwidth have become so crap because they're throttling, filtering, looking, sniffing, snooping, slurping, sucking all of my data.
	It's lame.
	Blocking Pirate Bay now in the UK. I guess they don't like art.
	No, well, of course they use the child pornography law.
	Oh, well, you know, there could be pornography there, so...
	Oh, it's bad for the children, so let's block access.
	Yeah.
	So somebody just sent us a tweet saying the Android phone may be able to detect metal because of the built-in compass, which employs a magnet.
	Oh, okay.
	That makes sense.
	I didn't know it.
	I thought that used GPS. No, there's GPS, too.
	I don't know.
	There's a compass in there, I guess.
	Hmm.
	There's a lot of stuff in that phone.
	That's why it's so clunky.
	It's a great phone if only the battery lasted more than 20 minutes.
	Yeah, the phone is so clunky that they couldn't put a bigger battery in there because the phone would be a disaster.
	I mean, if you look at the battery in there, the thing's a little bitty battery.
	It's like, what?
	But it's street.
	The Nokia battery on the E71 is huge.
	Yeah, it lasts for days.
	But the G-Phone, I love it because it's ghetto.
	It's like you can drop it.
	You don't care.
	Nothing happens to it.
	iPhone, you're like, ooh, be careful.
	Ooh, it's not so shiny.
	You just keep shining up.
	The G-Phone is like...
	Yeah, but it has everything, man.
	And that integration...
	It's like a Jeep.
	It is like a Jeep.
	It's the Jeep of phones.
	It's the Jeep of phones.
	If only it lasted longer.
	Although, be careful, because it does nasty...
	Even though you set it to don't access my network when I'm roaming, yeah, $600 later, just from the thing sitting on my desk, it racked up $600 in charges.
	Yeah.
	You're kidding.
	No.
	Because I have it on all the time and I use it and I presume that it's always talking to the Wi-Fi and I have the...
	I even turned off the transmitter, the phone part, and we still got bills.
	I took the SIM card out and then the bill stopped.
	So I don't know what it's doing, but it was not behaving as advertised.
	Huh.
	But of course, Google, no stranger to funny business, now accused of avoiding United Kingdom tax by routing most of its earnings through Ireland, saving over 100 million pounds a year.
	Oh, really?
	Yep, of course.
	Oh, good for them.
	That's smart.
	That's right.
	Eric Schmidt on our Economic Board of Advisors in the United States.
	Guy knows how to screw everybody.
	He's good at it.
	I'm glad he's there.
	He's a good guy.
	Yeah, he's a good guy.
	I'm sure you've met him.
	Oh, yeah, I know.
	I mean, of course, ever since it became the hot shot over...
	Oh, I know.
	Now he won't talk to you, yeah.
	This is typical.
	I mean, everybody I know that becomes rich and famous, they've snubbed.
	Except for me.
	I've never snubbed you.
	Yeah, no, you're the only one.
	You're my only celebrity friend who actually talks to me.
	And even I can't get you laid.
	You know, I just don't know what to do.
	Now, that's not true, John.
	This party, don't screw up the party, okay, when you go to Amsterdam.
	Please go to the party.
	Don't bail on it.
	We got a bunch of people coming.
	They all have to go.
	Because this is...
	I gotta take photos, you know?
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	You're gonna love it.
	I mean, I've set you up.
	I've set you up big time.
	Don't embarrass me with this girl.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Like I'll ever see her.
	She's gonna personally take care of you.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	We'll see.
	Trust me.
	Dude, and you got Taxi Eric's number?
	Taxi Eric is in my phone.
	Okay, I'm going to alert him.
	I want him on standby for you.
	I thought you already said you alerted him already.
	I haven't talked to him yet.
	You haven't left yet.
	Don't worry.
	Okay, well, I'm going to send him an email.
	The place to go these days for a vacation is, of course, Iceland.
	Now the Kroner has dropped by 44%.
	I have a recommendation for Iceland.
	Go for it.
	So if you go to Iceland, one of the things that you'll find is, you know, they have sheep in Iceland that are weird.
	Yeah, they pay taxes.
	They're called citizens.
	Ha.
	Anyway, these Icelandic sheep, they come in three colors, and they actually use the wool raw from the three colors, so you don't have to really dye the wool.
	There's a white version, and a black version, and a brown version of these sheep, and they're called Icelandic sheep or something, and they look like they're prehistoric.
	They're just shaggy, weird-looking things with a funny face.
	Do they have weird horns of the rams or not?
	I don't remember the...
	No, that's Highlander.
	No, no, no.
	I'm confused.
	The sheep have like...
	They look like they're Rasta sheep.
	They look terrible, actually.
	But they have a...
	They make a wool that is very water-resistant.
	It's a beautiful wool.
	It's very soft.
	It's just...
	It's not as great as the stuff from Peru, but it's damn near close.
	Anyway, they have this Icelandic wool.
	So they make a lot of blankets and sweaters and things like that from this sheep.
	Because, you know, it's cold there.
	The best wool shop...
	And Bjork is always around, so you've got to be protected.
	Bjork is in the name.
	How come no one's connected Bjork to the Icelandic demise?
	They should have.
	So anyway, let me finish this.
	So the best wool shop, I think, in all of Iceland is actually at the airport.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	Good prices, good sweaters.
	They've got Italian designs.
	Amazing place.
	Another John C. Dvorak household knitting tip.
	A tip from Dvorak.
	A tip from Dvorak.
	In fact, if you could just take an Icelandic airplane ride to Europe, you'd just stop in Reykjavik for the stopover, then get back on and go to town.
	You don't even have to go into town.
	Just grab your wool products and skedaddle out of there.
	There's nothing else to do but drink in that country.
	You know what they need?
	They need...
	So they have the wool store.
	They need some of that sausage you're looking for, that linguiza.
	Linguiza.
	They need a linguiza.
	You know, why don't we open a chain of no-agenda linguiza booths at airports nationwide?
	Get your ugly stick and your...
	TSA approved, by the way.
	So I was up in, I think, what was the airport?
	I think it was in Madison.
	Was it Madison?
	I'll have to think about this.
	But there's a bunch of these little puddle jumper airports up in Wisconsin.
	There's a series of sausage places.
	I think the sausage brand is Fursingers.
	Of course.
	And the little sausage places are called the Worst House.
	And they have these, I'd say, bratwurst.
	And they keep them, first they grill them or something, or first they keep them kind of in boiling water with onions and green peppers, and then they put them on a grill.
	And I have to say, it's probably one of the greatest hot dog experiences you can have.
	And you want to load it up with the onions and the green peppers.
	I'm hungry all of a sudden.
	The Ersinger sausages are fantastic.
	You're making me hungry.
	I'll tell you.
	This is as good as the stuff you get in Germany.
	One thing that we didn't discuss, which I think is relevant, because we don't take advertising on the show.
	I don't want to go into a whole plug, but our model, which is experimental, is based upon donations.
	A lot of people seem to get it.
	We haven't even done anything with the money yet.
	Do we have that in the Reykjavik Savings Bank, John?
	Is that where we're...
	We're keeping...
	We have to go pick it up.
	We've got to go pick it up.
	Bjork is holding it for us.
	But part of the reason is because news is gone, essentially.
	It's either contaminated, saturated, bullshit gone, or just plain bad.
	And the news came out, the New York Times first quarter earnings, so that's basically based upon their subscription price and their advertising price.
	The news media group, which includes the Times, Boston Globe and other regional newspapers, revenue declined 28.4% versus 18.4% in the previous quarter.
	John, should we just get the gun and just shoot it?
	You know what we need for a sound effect?
	A flushing toilet.
	I think we could use that sound effect every so often.
	Okay.
	I'll get one.
	Well, the problem that these newspapers have is that they essentially have not been delivering the kind of skepticism needed to make the public happy.
	I think the public is always wondering about the story behind the story, or is looking for insight, or they're looking for some perspective.
	We're looking for real news, baby.
	We need Amy Winehouse info and deets.
	We need the details.
	Get Perez Hilton working for the New York Times, and you watch those revenues go up.
	Well, that reminds me, you know, that Perez Hilton did the Miss USA thing.
	You didn't get to see this.
	Jesus, no.
	I'm sure someone will say to you, too.
	Okay, so here's the deal.
	I think it was Miss North Carolina that won, but it was Miss, and we actually blog this, but it was Miss California that, she's out there, she's gorgeous blonde.
	Hmm.
	And she probably could have won the whole thing, but they have these different judges ask these extremely political questions of these women who are kind of dingbats.
	I mean, what are they asking them about global warming?
	Every question was some really heavy-duty political left-wing question.
	And so they go and say, here's the judge you picked, and it was Perez Hilton.
	I'm thinking, why is Perez Hilton?
	What is he doing there?
	A blogger.
	Who's gay?
	A gay blogger.
	Yeah, why?
	He's gay, for one thing.
	Why is he doing a beauty contest?
	He's a gay blogger, and he's there.
	And he asked the question, what do you think about gay marriage?
	Why is he asking this?
	And so the woman who's just California, you know, she's just some, I don't know what her background was, but she says she was raised to believe.
	She gave a very honest answer, so she was penalized for this, by the way.
	Yeah, she was from the Midwest, and she had a very Midwest attitude.
	She's from California, but from God knows where.
	That's the Midwest of Gitmo Nation.
	What are you talking about?
	Well, okay.
	She comes out and she says, I was raised that marriage is between a man and a woman, and that's just the way I see it, and that's the way I believe it is, and that's just the way I was raised.
	Did she add to that, but luckily we live in a free country where people can do things in the privacy of their own home.
	Did she add some patriotic spin to it?
	Because that's what she needed.
	Nah, she didn't.
	She was taken aback by the question.
	None of these girls did that, because this whole thing is rigged anyway.
	Wait, wait, stop, stop!
	What are you telling me?
	So, this was rigged.
	Oh no!
	It's like the first person reaches in the box and she gets judge number one.
	The second person reaches in the box, she gets judge number two.
	The third person reaches in the box, she gets judge number three, Perez Hilton.
	So anyway, so...
	So Perez Hilton, his face just kind of screws up like this woman should be killed and eaten.
	So she walks off and she comes in second on the whole thing.
	And everyone believes that it's because...
	And the audience was, whoa, I don't know, boo!
	It was a sham.
	It was ridiculous.
	This poor girl.
	But meanwhile, of course, she's gotten more publicity than she would have gotten if she was the winner, although she won't get any of the prize money.
	About a year and a half ago, Perez Hilton was holed up in London.
	This was just around the time when the lawsuits were happening about his use of images or the threat of lawsuits, which, of course, propelled him into humongous numbers.
	And we had, I would say, a significant budget to go and get him to do a show for us, which I thought he was really, really up and coming.
	He was going to pop big time.
	And I did full press court.
	I took the lady Patricia with me, and she did her whole fag hag thing.
	And we really played to him and sent him flowers.
	I mean, I did a full-blown, full-on Hollywood producer job on this guy because the other people courting him were VH1. Our money was equal, maybe even better.
	But let me just say one thing about Perez Hilton.
	He's a dick.
	He's a total dick.
	And that's not because he wouldn't sign with us.
	The guy can't communicate normally.
	He's just a complete dick.
	I think Lisa Bettany, when I was doing the Twitch show last week, was making the same...
	We just had some run-in with him, too.
	He's the kind of guy that will stab you in the back in a frickin' heartbeat.
	He's a total douche.
	I don't say that about anybody, really.
	He's not even a courteous guy.
	Just not even courteous.
	And if I roll out the Lady Patricia and you're not courteous, nah.
	That's it.
	It's over.
	No, I wouldn't worry about him.
	Well, I'm not.
	Exactly why I got on this event is the big question.
	Yeah, well, it involved good-looking girls.
	Whatever.
	So, anyway, so she got screwed out of whatever.
	Maybe she wouldn't have won anyway.
	Who knows?
	But it seems unlikely that she could have won.
	I'm sure he gave her a zero.
	Other than that, we have our, talking about gay marriage, we have our crazy mayor of San Francisco, who is the big gay marriage guy in the state.
	He's going to be running for governor now.
	This should be good for a left, because he's running against moonbeam Jerry Brown, so it's like a...
	who's leading.
	Is he still alive?
	That guy's been around forever.
	Jerry Brown?
	Jerry Brown?
	He's been around for a while, hasn't he?
	Yeah, well, he's been governor before, I think back in the 40s.
	Right, right.
	But he's got the right pitch.
	I mean, Brown, I've met him a couple of times.
	And, of course, you'd never recognize me in a million years because he's always...
	I mean, he's literally...
	When you just stand there talking to him, he is not on the same planet.
	I don't know if you've ever run into people like this, but they're just, they're obviously...
	Yeah, John, I've actually run into people who literally were not from this planet.
	But that's a story for another show.
	Yeah, that's the story with a question.
	Anyway, so he's like, he's just, obviously he's thinking about something, or he's preoccupied, or his brain is divided.
	I don't know, it's just the weirdest character.
	You just described my dad to the T. I think these people are highly intelligent and are so wrapped up in their own thoughts that they're just spaced.
	Yeah.
	Well, Brown is that way.
	But Brown's got better sound bites.
	He's got a better pitch.
	He's been in politics forever.
	His father was the governor of California for a while.
	So he was raised with it.
	I don't think he's beatable.
	He's a...
	I mean, he's just amazing.
	In fact, I think he could have been president if his timing was a little different.
	But I don't think that's going to happen.
	And he also has a bad reputation.
	And a lot of problems that California has to this day are his fault.
	But he's going to go in there again and make it worse.
	I'm coming back across the bridge in San Francisco.
	San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge, one of the most beautiful bridges in the world.
	I'm counting the potholes I'm hitting as I'm coming across.
	Bang!
	Oh, no, but John, that's one of those shovel-ready projects.
	Don't you worry.
	That thing's going to get fixed in a heartbeat.
	Shovel ready, baby.
	It's shovel.
	It's shovel.
	How many potholes we have in this state?
	It's like potholes.
	They should change the name of the state to pothole.
	And you know what?
	Tomorrow afternoon, one more pothole will be added to the state as I arrive at SFO. One more pothole.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	All right.
	I was practicing my stroke.
	So what you didn't hear discussed today but are in the show notes, IMF puts bank losses at $4 trillion, more bailouts for the auto companies, AIG systematically denies claims of injured U.S. contractors.
	They're out there.
	They're screwing with you, my friends.
	And we're just here to let you know about it.
	And once in a while, we'll figure something out.
	But I know one thing.
	Perez Helton, as soon as we get those ugly sticks, he's the first receiver.
	Nah.
	Not worth the trouble.
	I think he should be...
	We won't be discussing him anymore.
	Okay.
	No Agenda Ugly Sticks coming soon.
	Yeah, we gotta get some other stuff going here in terms of, like, things to sell.
	Flatware.
	Flatware.
	All right.
	Flatware, right.
	Well, we got the three knights so far, so we'll, uh...
	We gotta...
	You know, we can customize some stuff for them.
	We'll get them still getting their, uh...
	The knives of the knights.
	For the flatware.
	Knives of the knights, yeah.
	I'm just saying.
	It's an idea.
	It's possible.
	Okay, so briefly, John, because I've restarted our final tune three times now.
	When will the next No Agenda be?
	Well, since you keep changing your schedule, I don't know.
	I mean, I'll be traveling on Saturday.
	Yeah, you arrive Sunday.
	I arrive Sunday.
	And then I'm going to have to see if I can either...
	Connect or whatever.
	Make a good connection on Skype at the hotel.
	That works fine.
	I'm going to have some gear with me.
	I've got a nice dynamic mic, a nice classic, actually.
	And some headphones.
	Yes, I definitely have to have headphones.
	I'll have them.
	And so then I'll see how I connect.
	Otherwise, I'll have to find somebody over there that I can, you know, visit their office and use their facilities or something like that.
	We'll get the show done either Sunday or Monday.
	Okay.
	Coming to you from the southwest quadrant in London of Gitmo Nation East in the Crackpot Command Center, I'm Adam Curry.
	And I'm here in the Buzzkill Bunker in northern Silicon Valley, the place that doesn't exist and has had fantastic weather in the last two or three days.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.

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