Ep. 1694 - Tucker Carlson Reveals SHOCKING Details About Thomas Crooks
Today on the Matt Walsh Show, we’re finally getting some information about the man who tried to assassinate Trump. It turns out he is yet another “non-binary” they/them killer, among other revelations. Why are we just finding this stuff out now? And what else are they hiding? And why? Also, the House and Senate vote to compel the release of the Epstein files. The muslim mayor of Dearborn says that he “disavows” the very idea of assimilation. Michelle Obama attacks white people (again). And we take a look at the curious case of the female journalist who apparently slept with every male over the age of 50 in DC.
Ep.1694
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We're finally getting some information about the man who tried to assassinate Trump.
It turns out he's yet another non-binary they-them killer, among other revelations.
Why are we just finding this stuff out now?
And what else are they hiding and why?
Also, the House and Senate vote to compel the release of the Epstein files.
The Muslim mayor of Dearborn says that he disavows the idea of assimilation.
Michelle Obama attacks white people again.
And we take a look at the curious case of the female journalist who apparently slept with every male over the age of 50 in D.C. of that and more today on The Matt Wall Show.
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If you didn't see Tucker Carlson's recent segment on Thomas Crooks, the 20-year-old man who nearly assassinated Donald Trump live on national television during a campaign rally in Pennsylvania last year, there are a few important revelations that you should know about.
The first revelation, which is not remotely controversial, is that the FBI has clearly been hiding relevant facts about Thomas Crooks from the general public.
And by itself, that is a national scandal that justifies completely gutting the FBI from the highest levels on down.
Even if you firmly believe that Thomas Crooks was a lone gunman, and even if you believe the Secret Service was merely incompetent as opposed to complicit, the fact remains our government has been withholding important details about the assassination attempt on Donald Trump's life without any justification whatsoever.
Now, we should not have to rely on Tucker Carlson or any podcaster to tell us that Thomas Crooks, for example, left a lengthy trail of comments on YouTube in which he openly called for political violence for several years.
These calls were so overt, so disturbing that one user wrote in response to Crooks, You're on YouTube threatening to shoot government officials.
I sure hope the FBI is monitoring social media for violent nuts cases.
Now, it's almost too on the nose to be real, but that comment is still available on YouTube to this day.
Thomas Crooks' account has been suspended and all of his comments have been hidden.
They're only accessible using the Internet Archive website, but the replies are still there.
And yet, more than a year after the assassination attempt in Butler, we have to rely on Tucker to tell us about any of this, which is completely, overwhelmingly, unequivocally unacceptable.
It should not fall to anyone in the media to tell us what Thomas Crooks was saying online and how people were reacting to his comments.
We shouldn't have to rely on podcasters to tell us that Thomas Crooks decided sometime during the COVID lockdowns to completely reverse his political views and to begin openly attacking Donald Trump and his administration on social media.
We certainly shouldn't have to rely on podcasters to tell us that Crooks was in contact with a mysterious person who remains unidentified beyond the online alias Willie Teppes, who openly encouraged Crooks to commit acts of violence, which you can see there.
At one point, Willie Tepis wrote to Crooks, quote, authority obviously comes from the barrel of a gun.
We have more guns than they do.
There is no way we can avoid a war at this point, so you better just get used to the idea.
Now, in common parlance, this is known as Fed posting.
Willie Teppis is almost being too obvious about it.
He understands that Thomas Crooks is a radical is prone to violence.
He sees that Crooks is posting about acts of violence against political officials.
And Crooks wrote at one point that even the White House could be overwhelmed if enough Americans took up arms.
And Willie Tepis is aware of all this.
And instead of expressing concern, he encourages Crooks to go to war.
Now, is it possible that this is just some random internet troll?
Yeah.
It's also possible that Willie Teppis was working with a government agency or a terror cell, either in this country or some other country, to groom potential assassins.
In fact, given how weird Willie's comments were, and to be clear, he replied to Crooks multiple times.
It seems very likely that he was trying to groom Thomas Crooks.
So what has the FBI done to investigate this, to investigate Willie Teppis?
What have they done to figure out his identity?
Why is Tucker's show the first time, literally the first time, that anyone in this country has heard the name Willie Teppis?
That is inexcusable for about a million different reasons.
It's not the FBI's job to determine what information is worth sharing to the public or what information they deem is important.
When it comes to the near assassination of the leading presidential candidate, no detail is irrelevant.
If Thomas Crooks went bowling every week, we should know that.
If Thomas Crooks loved the film Goodwill Hunting, we should know that.
And certainly, if he was in regular communication with an anonymous person who sounded a lot like a Fed encouraging him to commit acts of violence, we should know that too.
I mean, at the very least, we should know something about this guy.
But if the feds had their way, we wouldn't know anything at all.
And that's what we knew, nothing until this week.
On top of that, beyond the transparency issues, it would obviously help the government's investigation to raise awareness about these posts.
You know, maybe someone somewhere knows who Willie Teppis is.
And as long as Willie Teppis isn't the alias for a CIA agent or something like that, then you'd think your government would want someone to come forward and identify him immediately.
But that's not possible if they bury his identity and all information about him, which is what they've done.
Then there's the fact that Crooks' PayPal account, for one reason or another, uses the name of an ex-FBI agent who worked in Pennsylvania and who investigated the Las Vegas mass shooting, the one where no motive has ever been established.
What exactly is going on there?
We have no idea.
Because again, this is the first time anyone's hearing about any of this.
Our government, under both the Biden administration and the Trump administration, made the conscious decision to hide all this information from us.
The only reason we're hearing about it now is that a random source got in contact with Tucker Carlson's team and tipped him off to Crooks' online history.
And because this information remains uncontested by the FBI several days after Tucker Carlson's broadcast, we can assume that it's all true.
So let's pause for a minute here and zoom out.
Let's really think about what's happening.
Okay, this is the official narrative.
Last summer, Thomas Crooks, supposedly an untrained 20-year-old guy with an angry, inconsistent social media history, managed to outwit the Secret Service, gain access to a roof 500 feet away from Donald Trump.
And he wasn't particularly subtle about it.
I mean, as you can see here in the videos that we've all seen, he was clearly visible running across the rooftop as Trump spoke, but the Secret Service didn't notice him.
Even though random attendees in the crowd were suspicious, they noticed it, notified law enforcement.
Somehow the Secret Service didn't have anyone on the roof because it was too sloped, we were told.
And somehow the Secret Service countersnipers couldn't see any of this.
They only shot Thomas Crooks after he unloaded several shots at Donald Trump, including a shot that hit Trump in the head.
And coincidentally enough, the rally in Butler was the first time that the Secret Service had deployed countersnipers to a Trump rally during the 2024 campaign season.
So yes, the Secret Service snipers made their debut at the Butler rally just in time to neutralize Thomas Crooks after he got his shots off.
So in a very tidy fashion, Thomas Crooks was quickly erased from the picture.
Nobody could question him.
Nobody could put him on trial.
And then a funny thing happened.
No one really investigated Thomas Crooks.
No one told us anything about his social media posts, his political views, beyond the claim that he was a Trump supporter, which was false.
It took more than a year for us to learn that, in fact, Thomas Crooks was openly promising to commit violence on social media and that someone was encouraging him to do that.
But the story gets even more strange from here.
Less than 48 hours after Tucker's reporting, out of nowhere, the New York Post published this exclusive information, quote, Thomas Crooks used they-them pronouns and posted threats of political violence and violent art on his secret social media accounts before he attempted to assassinate President Trump, according to sources who shared the suspected messages with the Post.
Crooks had two possible accounts on DeviantArt, a site that hosts fan art, has become notorious for its community of furries, people who identify as anthropomorphized animal characters and or are sexually attracted to them.
One of the deviant art accounts linked to Crooks shared just one post, a repost of a towering, muscular female bodybuilder and a slight man in his underwear.
Separately, the post Miranda Devine reported that Crooks, quote, had an obsession with scantily clad cartoon characters sporting muscle-bound male bodies and female heads.
Okay, so this seems to be a clear-cut case of yet another psychologically disturbed mass shooter, someone who has been indoctrinated into the LGBT cult and then turning to violence, which is not a particularly surprising development.
As I said repeatedly, the LGBT cult is the single greatest domestic terror threat that this country faces, hands down.
I mean, in just the past few years, trans-identifying terrorists have shot up multiple Christian churches and schools.
Quote-unquote non-binary mass shooters have targeted high schools and bars.
A leftist living with a furry trans person assassinated Charlie Kirk in front of thousands of people.
And now we have this.
Put simply, trans extremism, LGBT extremism is an epidemic.
And the pattern of trans and quote-unquote non-binary violence, you know, is not at all surprising, even though the media tries to cover it up.
I mean, any man who identifies as a woman or as a they-them is mentally unstable and confused by definition.
It seems nearly certain that all these people were on psychiatric meds.
A lot of them were probably on hormones.
So there's connections there that could be drawn.
There's more we could be investigating there.
And there's another common theme here as well, which is that all of these violent LGBT shooters probably develop their gender identity from consuming hundreds of hours of porn.
I mean, that's the other commonality that you find with these types of things.
The gender stuff is the product of extreme nihilism and extreme perversion.
And a steady, long-term diet of pornography turns anyone into a nihilist pervert.
And it's not a far leap to get from that to murderer, especially if you have mysterious people in your comments saying, hey, maybe you should rise up and go to war against the government.
That's why it's not exactly shocking to hear that Thomas Crookes was also a member of the they-them cult who regularly consume various degenerate forms of media.
I mean, at this point, you almost expect the investigation to uncover something like this.
Thomas Crookes is yet another violent LGBT linked killer to add to a very disturbing and fast-growing list.
Now, there were some concerns expressed by some commentators that perhaps this revelation was an intentional diversion, maybe a targeted leak intended to distract us from the investigation that Tucker Carlson just published, which does seem like something the FBI might try to do, but that's not what happened in this case.
Miranda Devine has made it clear that her source is the same as Tucker's.
And the information did not come from the FBI.
Devine also provided more information on the Willy Tepez character who was first identified by Tucker Carlson.
Here's what Devine wrote, quote, one of the people Crooks interacted with online was Willie Tepez, a member of Norwegian neo-Nazi group, the Nordic Resistance Movement, which has since been designated a terrorist organization by the State Department.
In one comment on October 5th, 2025, more than a year after Butler, Tebas commented to another user that he'd been contacted by both Russian and American intelligence.
People who ask you to contact them when they just as easily could contact you are feds.
This is how they avoid entrapment.
Both American and Russian intelligence does this.
I have chatted to both, Tepez said.
So there are only two possibilities here.
The first possibility is that we're seeing a monumental, unforgivable failure by the FBI, a degree of incompetence that's simply staggering.
Maybe they missed all these chats.
Maybe they didn't think it was relevant, just never got around to releasing them.
So they're left to respond with pathetic, rapid response press releases when Tucker Carlson and Miranda Devine published investigative reports a year later.
That's the best case scenario.
That is the absolute best case scenario we're dealing with.
The worst case scenario is almost too dark to say out loud, but I'll try my best.
The worst case scenario is that the FBI has been hiding all this information about Thomas Crooks for the same reason that the Secret Service, supposedly the most elite protective force in the entire world, failed to secure the slightly sloped roof 400 feet away from Donald Trump with a direct line of sight to his head.
Worst case scenario is that the leadership of our intelligence agencies wanted Donald Trump dead.
And if that's the case, then there's no reason to think that they're going to stop trying to kill him.
Now, it's not my job or your job to decide between these two scenarios.
It's the job of our government, out of an abundance of transparency, to absolve itself completely of any responsibility in the attempt to murder Donald Trump.
They should be telling us everything they know, even if they don't think their information is relevant.
But our government hasn't done that.
And for that reason, it's not insane or paranoid to assume the worst, or at least to consider it a very real possibility.
For one reason or another, we are not being told the whole story or even an incomplete story.
And it's way past time for us to ask one question.
Why?
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Let's get back to the table.
Wire reports, the Senate on Tuesday unanimously voted to release documents related to the late financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein just hours after the House passed the same bill.
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer announced on X that he received unanimous consent to approve the Senate bill to release the Epstein files.
Once the House sends the bill to the upper chamber, it will immediately go to President Trump for his signature, which he has said he would give it.
And this is the bill that will compel the release of the files.
So the Epstein files will be released.
That's a good thing, obviously.
Needed to happen.
You know, let the sunlight in, transparency.
Let us see for ourselves.
Kind of the theme here, going back to the opening we just talked about.
So this is what needed to happen.
It's probably also the worst way that it could have happened.
It would have been much better if the DOJ had done what it promised it would do and just started releasing the files in an orderly and organized and thoughtful manner back a year ago.
And if they had done that, then we would have seen everything a long time ago by now.
And this wouldn't be something that the White House has to talk about anymore.
But you know, now they're going to have to dump them all at once.
So be it.
And we'll see what happens from there.
You know, I'm very skeptical that there will be anything explosive in these files.
If I were a betting man, I'd bet on this being a massive disappointment.
I would bet on something very anticlimactic.
Personally, my strong guess is that anything that actually incriminates a powerful or famous person has already been destroyed a long time ago.
Like if Bill Gates were incriminated in the files, just hypothetically, for example, that material is long gone.
I mean, that's my guess.
Could be wrong.
And now we find out.
Politically, what makes this whole thing, this whole saga so incredibly frustrating is that it's a big win for the Democrats.
It just is.
Well, let's face it.
Thomas Massey pushed this thing through.
Marjorie Taylor Greene as well.
It's a win for them.
But even more so politically, the Democrats could have done this already.
They could have done it when they were in power.
They had the ability to do it.
Now, some people have said to me, because I was talking about this on X yesterday, and there was a bunch of comments.
I guess the leftists have settled on their, finally settled on their answer to that because they didn't really have an answer.
I've been saying this the whole time.
Like, why didn't the Democrats, now they're pretending, oh, we got to release the files?
Why aren't they released?
Well, why didn't you do it?
Why didn't you do it?
And there was really no answer to that.
Finally, they settled on it.
They said, I saw a bunch of comments saying, well, a judge didn't unseal the records until January of 2024 after the Maxwell trial.
So they couldn't have.
Okay, well, even if I buy that excuse, January of 2024, last I checked, that's a year before Biden's term came to an end.
So even by the most generous interpretation, they had a year to do it and they didn't.
They didn't even talk about doing it.
They didn't even mention it.
It wasn't like it was a thing they were trying to do and for some reason couldn't.
And I don't know how that it just, it never came up.
Even if we want, even if we want to pretend that, oh, records were sealed and they couldn't prior to that, there was no effort.
Like no one was talking about it.
It wasn't a thing.
Democrats weren't, Democrats were not discussing it at all.
At all.
There was no pressure on them to do it.
The Epstein victims, they were not, as far as I remember, they weren't doing press conferences outside the Capitol.
You know, they put out this PSA.
A lot of the Epstein victims put out a PSA to start the week.
And that was going viral.
A lot of people say, oh, it's a very powerful PSA.
And yeah, it is powerful.
But again, why are you just doing this now?
Why didn't you do that before?
Biden was in office for four years.
We didn't hear from most of these people.
They were not coming out.
I know, you know, one of my questions about the Epstein victims is a lot of people had the same question, which is, you know, they're doing press conferences, say, hey, put the files out.
And many of us, I think it's a logical question, which is, well, why don't, well, just tell us.
Yeah, let's put the files out.
But if you know who the culprits are, just tell us.
Tell us who they are.
And the response to that has been, well, if they do that, they're going to get sued into the ground by all of these famous, evil people.
Okay, I could buy that.
But then that goes back to the other question: well, like, well, why weren't, but why did this pressure campaign not start back in the Biden administration?
Why did we wait?
Why was there this like dead zone during the Biden administration?
No one on the left is talking about Epstein at all, at all.
And then as soon as Biden is out, then they're all like, we got to release the files.
So why is that the case?
Well, I mean, this is all a rhetorical question.
We know the answer.
This is all it's all politics for the Democrats anyway.
So when Trump says that the Epstein issue is a Democrat hoax, he's correct in the sense that the Democrat concern about Epstein is a hoax.
The hoax is that they care about Epstein when they obviously don't.
And they never did.
So that's the quote-unquote hoax.
The files themselves are not a hoax, obviously.
I mean, they're going to release a whole bunch of files.
The things exist.
They're not a hoax.
The fact that Epstein was a global pedophile sex trafficker with a lot of very high profile and powerful and famous associates, that's not a hoax.
But this is a point that Trump never made clearly because he botched this thing.
And what makes his bungling all the more baffling is that, you know, I don't believe that he's hiding his own involvement with Epstein.
I don't think that there's anything in the files about Trump that will incriminate him and that he's trying to hide.
Because if Trump was truly incriminated in the files, we would have seen it by now.
There's just no way that that would have stayed secret through four years of the Biden administration, especially as they were actively trying to destroy Trump and put him in jail.
So the idea that they had something, they had this in their back pocket the whole time and didn't use it is really, really hard to believe.
So I don't think that Trump reacted the way he did to this Epstein issue for that reason.
I think it's just he didn't understand how important this issue is to his own base.
Massively underestimated how important this issue is to the base and not just to the base, but the issue is very important.
And so now it's all going to come out and we'll see.
And we've talked a lot about Dearborn, Michigan, which has been turned into an Islamic capital.
Here's the mayor of Dearborn, whose name is, of course, Abdullah Hamoud.
Good old-fashioned American name.
He's on some kind of podcast, I think.
And here's what he has to say about the concept of assimilation.
Listen.
Because what you often hear that it's accompanied with that is, well, you must assimilate.
I shouldn't put out a magazine that's in two languages.
Why can't you speak English?
Why are my videos subtitled in Arabic?
Why is my caption both in English and Arabic?
People get frustrated by this.
But to me, it's like, I actually disavow the use of the term the melting pot.
I actually don't like it.
Why?
Because in a melting pot, when you're talking about like a soup, everything looks the same, right?
Where the salad bowl?
The lettuce is lettuce, the tomato is tomato, the cucumber is cucumber.
And they all complement each other.
Yeah, so profound salad bowl.
And he's disavowing assimilation, disavowing melting the melting pot.
Not just saying that he doesn't value assimilation, but that he openly disavows it, which is all the proof that you should need that illegal immigration is not the only problem or even the biggest problem.
Because this guy, Mohammed Ahmoud, whatever his name is, he's a legal citizen.
He's actually second generation.
He was born here.
And yet he hates this country, wants to undermine our national identity and our national sovereignty.
And he is in pretty much every way more harmful, a bigger problem than most illegal immigrants.
So, you know, the rot goes pretty deep here.
And by the way, I don't like all these food analogies for America, melting pot, salad bowl, soup, stew, whatever.
America is a country and a country just doesn't have enough in common with an entree to make the or a appetizer or whatever.
It doesn't have enough in common with a food item to make the analogy useful, I think.
But since he brought it up, let's think about this.
He says we don't need assimilation.
America is a salad bowl.
And each part of the salad exists as its own thing, but it all works together somehow.
Well, what's interesting about that is that, you know, if America is a salad bowl, okay, we still need assimilation.
I don't know what kind of salads they're making in the Abdullah household, but salad is not like a meal where you just take a bowl and throw literally anything into it at all.
Okay, that's not what a salad is.
A salad is not just any random items thrown into a bowl and then you eat it.
So imagine a salad with lettuce, olives, watermelon, cheese, walnuts, carrots, ham, strawberries, goat cheese, just all, you know.
Now, these are all components of salads.
These are things that you will see in a salad.
They're not the components of the same salad.
Okay, put them in the same, you could make like a bunch of different salads with all those different components, but to make one salad with those components is you're like schizophrenic.
You end up with something grotesque, something revolting.
All these components that could make good salads, if you're into salads, which I'm not, all together make a really terrible salad.
The taste profile doesn't make any sense.
They don't harmonize.
The flavors don't harmonize.
So you, in fact, cannot just put anything in a salad and expect that the salad is going to taste good or even be edible.
That's just not how salads work.
Would you ever go to a restaurant and order a salad that has just anything in it?
Okay, what if there was a salad on the menu that said anything salad?
And you ask the waiter, you said, what's that salad?
And they say, oh, it's anything.
What do you mean, anything?
Well, yeah, they just put anything in it.
Like, well, yeah, they take anything that's in the kitchen and just throw it in there.
Anything at all.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Any food.
Would you order that salad?
Would anyone order it?
Or would you order a salad that's more harmonized, more assimilated, where the flavors make sense and they're in the right proportion?
I mean, even the best salads have ethnicities.
Greek salad, for example.
So I don't want to get hung up on salads here.
I don't even like salads, but this does tell you something, right?
Because the anti-assimilation crowd, the people who say that America has no identity.
Remember, it was Jenna Welsh last week said America has no culture except multiculturalism, has no culture, multiculturalism is the culture.
Well, it's the same idea, right?
No assimilation.
The people who have that view, they actually can't come up with any analogy to make their point.
That's a pretty good indication that you have a bad argument or a bad position is if there's no analogy that will help to illustrate your point.
If you're making a point that has no analogy, no logical analogy.
And so that's kind of the significance of the salad.
It's like there is no context in life anywhere where you would ever say that a thing can be improved by just throwing stuff into it randomly.
Right?
There is no food dish.
There's no organization.
There's no style of music.
There's no ecosystem.
There's no recipe.
There's nothing, nothing in existence where you would ever recommend that you just add things to it randomly without trying to harmonize them with the other components.
Nowhere else.
Nowhere else and nothing else.
I disavow assimilation would not be a statement that anyone would utter anywhere about anything else in any context at all.
I'm talking about the full scale of existence.
There is nothing in existence anywhere where you would ever say that, yeah, well, it doesn't really matter.
Just throw, just, yeah, whatever.
But just put everything in randomly.
Assimilation, harmonizing the components, like, and also having an idea of what this thing is you're trying to do, whatever it is, whether it's a dish, it's a song, it's a country, it's an organization.
Here's the identity of what this thing is supposed to be.
And whatever components we put into it, they have to work together.
That's assimilation.
And that is a fundamental step in making anything work.
Anything.
If you're building an engine or you're making a lasagna, I don't care.
Or you're making a country.
It's a fundamental step in making anything work.
Literally anything.
And yet we're supposed to believe that this country, this country, not even like countries, but this country is the one exception.
In all the universe, amid all that exists or has ever existed, the United States is the one place where assimilation doesn't matter.
Really?
So we defy like the basic laws of reality.
We exist in some kind of magical supernatural zone where a strategy that would not work in any other context for anything else ever at all works for us, really?
I mean, if that's what you believe, contrary to all evidence, then be honest about it.
Don't tell me about salads.
Whereas we've established, no, you wouldn't do that with a salad.
There's no analogy.
So just be honest.
Say, you know what?
I think America is an exception to everything that has ever existed in the universe.
And so America is the one context where it doesn't matter who someone is or what they want to do or what they're all about or anything at all.
And just throw everyone together and it'll work.
And be honest about that.
Like that's what you think.
That's what you believe.
Or be even more honest and say, no, I know this doesn't work, obviously.
I know that clearly you need assimilation.
I know that you destroy the country when you just throw everybody into it and say, good luck.
But I want the country to be destroyed.
That's the real honor.
That's the actual honest position that these people will never say out loud or will only rarely say out loud.
On a similar note, here's the new mayor of New York, Zorhan Mamdani, and he had some interesting thoughts to share.
Watch.
You said you would arrest Benjamin Netanyahu based on the 2024 International Court Arrest Warrant.
Next UN General Assembly, as mayor, would you do that?
So I've said time and again that I believe this is a city of international law.
And being a city of international law means looking to uphold international law.
And that means upholding the warrants from the International Criminal Court, whether they're for Benjamin Netanyahu or Vladimir Putin.
I think that that's critically important to showcase our values.
And unlike Donald Trump, I'm someone who looks to exist within the confines of the laws that we have.
So I will look to exhaust every legal possibility, not to create my own laws to do so.
On the other hand, this is also a world event.
Does that not count a little bit?
Well, I think we are a global city, but I also think what New Yorkers are looking for is consistency in the way in which we talk about our values and follow through on them.
And that's why I think these warrants from the International Criminal Court, they are worth fully exploring every legal possibility to actually follow through on.
So he says, a city of international law, which might be one of the craziest things we've ever heard a mayor say, you're going to abide by international law.
You're the mayor of an American city.
International law has nothing to do with it.
International law isn't real anyway.
Okay.
It doesn't exist.
It's a like, what is international law?
It's a fiction.
It's a story that we tell ourselves.
It's not a real thing.
There can't be any international law because there's no international lawmaker or lawgiver.
There's no legislative body that just makes laws for the world.
It doesn't work that way.
There's no international police force that can enforce these fake laws.
So the laws don't exist.
Countries comply with the fiction of international law if they want to.
And if they don't, they don't.
It's really up to that.
It's like, well, okay, well, yeah, we'll go along with pretending this is a thing or we won't.
Which means that the whole thing is, I mean, it's at best a kind of set of standards or expectations, but with no real enforceability and no real jurisdiction.
There's no governing body with legal jurisdiction over the planet.
That doesn't exist.
International law is fake.
It's a thing we make up because we don't want to admit the truth, which is that the only thing governing the world on an international level is force, violence.
That's the only law of the world and always has been.
A country can do whatever it wants as long as they can overpower whoever tries to stop them from doing it.
That's it.
That's the whole law.
Okay.
You want to know the law of nations?
You want to know international law?
As a country, you can do whatever you want as long as you're able to overpower anyone who tries to stop you from doing it.
That's it.
That's the whole thing.
That's all there is to it.
That's the international law.
It always has been, always will be.
It will never change.
Now, there are moral laws that hold for all people and all nations.
They can be ignored, obviously.
People do all the time.
But so morality is not subjective, but this idea of international law, it's like it doesn't mean anything.
Now, the laws of our nation, on the other hand, those are real.
And the only laws that the mayor of New York should be concerned about are the laws of this country and of his state and his city.
To say that international law supersedes American law is traitorous.
I mean, it's like actually an insurrection.
Okay, if we took our own laws seriously as a country, then he would be out of office right now.
Like, that's it.
You should be gone.
Okay, you had about 10 seconds in office.
You're gone now.
What are you talking about?
International law.
This is a sit-no.
This is not a city of international law.
This is an American city, period.
And if you don't understand that or you're actively plotting to undermine that or destroy that, you should be out of office and in jail right now.
That's what should happen.
Okay, quickly, this is the last Michelle Obama clip that we'll play on the show for a while, I promise.
I might be lying, but right now, that's my truth right now.
That's the truth.
That's my truth.
We're not going to play another clip for a while.
But here she is still on her book tour, I think, complaining about white people again.
Listen.
Worry about it.
Let me explain something to white people.
Our hair comes out of our head naturally in a curly pattern.
So when we're straightening it to follow your beauty standards, we are trapped by the straightness.
That's why so many of us can't swim and we run away from the water.
People won't go to the gym because we're trying to keep our hair straight for y'all.
It is exhausting and it's so expensive and it takes up so much time.
Braids are for y'all so we can work harder and focus on the work.
So why do we need an act, an act of law to tell white folks to get out of our hair?
Don't tell me how to wear my hair.
Don't wonder about it.
Don't touch it.
Just don't.
It just.
All right, Michelle.
Well, listen, Michelle, I got good news for you.
Listen very carefully.
We don't care at all about your hair or really anything else about you.
We especially don't care about your hair.
We've never thought about it.
If I could speak for all white people, you know, we just had a meeting, we had a big white person meeting, and they appointed me spokesman.
And we all agreed.
This was unanimous.
We took a vote.
Does anyone care about Michelle Obama's hair?
And the nays have it.
No, no one does.
Nobody cares about your hair.
This is a consistent theme with these black female race hustlers that they're constantly talking about their hair and all the pressure they face from white people to wear their hair a certain way.
And meanwhile, every white person is looking around like, what?
We don't do what you want.
We don't care.
No white person in the history of white people has ever cared about or given a second thought to a black woman's hair.
Michelle Obama imagines that we're all just like seething all the time.
And it's not just her.
I mean, you heard the reaction in the audience, right?
You heard the reaction of the audience.
Yes, finally, someone's saying it.
Finally, a black woman is talking about her hair and expressing these weird, this weird hang-up she has about her hair.
Finally, it had been 15 seconds since the last one.
So she imagines that we're all like, we're all laying in bed at night thinking about black women's hair.
We're just seething, fists clenched.
Damn it, their hair.
Why is their hair like that?
That's what she thinks we're all doing.
And when in reality, we're just going about our day.
We're focused on our own problems, walking down the street.
And then Michelle Obama runs up to us and says, hey, you're thinking about my hair, aren't you?
No, we're not.
You're thinking about my hair.
You don't want me to wear my hair like this.
I really don't care at all.
Please stop yelling at us.
Oh, so now I'm just an angry black woman.
Is that it?
Yeah, actually, a little bit.
I mean, you're pretty angry, Michelle, like all the time.
You're always angry.
So I don't know if the shoe fits, wear it.
The real point here, of course, is that Michelle is very bitter towards white people, which is kind of amazing, but there's a real lesson in that.
I mean, white people lined up to support her husband and to put the both of them into the White House twice, right?
A majority of white people, millions of white people, lined up excited to put her and her husband in the White House.
Give them this amazing life.
And she hates white people now even more than she did before that.
So a real lesson.
There's a lot of lessons there, actually, but none of the lessons have anything to do with Michelle Obama's hair.
Let's get to the Daily Cancellation.
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Now let's get to our daily cancellation.
You might think it's difficult to find the single worst post on social media in terms of how poorly it's aged.
There have been a lot of posts, probably millions of them, that haven't withstood the test of time very well.
You could find posts predicting that Bill Belichick would lead UNC to greatness, since after all, he's a great coach and definitely not rich and famous simply because he had a roster of extremely talented and expensive players.
You can also find posts from esteemed experts declaring with absolute confidence the world is going to end in 12 years because of climate change.
And a lot of those posts are 12 years old now or more.
You can revisit Hillary Clinton's most infamous post where she wishes herself a happy birthday and declares that she is a future president.
We all remember that one.
All of these posts to varying degrees have not held up very well.
But there's one that, even given this very stiff competition, clearly stands alone.
And I'm talking about the following post from a woman named Olivia Newsy, who currently works as an editor for Vanity Fair.
And here is the post.
Before taking the job at Vanity Fair, she worked at New York Magazine and also the Daily Beast.
But a long time ago, back when she was just getting started in the industry in January of 2015, here's what she wrote on Twitter.
Quote, why does Hollywood think female reporters sleep with their sources?
And this was, she was reacting to, I think, House of Cards at the time, the show House of Cards.
Well, at the time, it seemed like a pretty safe question for a New York-born, Fordham-educated, up-and-coming liberal journalist to pose on social media.
She was calling out all those lazy, cliche-obsessed writers in Hollywood, the ones who don't understand the obvious fundamental truths of the 20th wave of feminism.
It's an absurdity, Olivia stated, to suggest that female journalists sleep with their sources.
In reality, we all know that female journalists get ahead through hard work, shoe leather reporting, clever, legit logical deductions, and crisp, highly readable prose.
That's just a given.
Well, unfortunately, for her bold proclamation, Olivia went on to become a journalist.
And in that capacity, she didn't simply prove the old stereotype true about how women sleep with their sources.
She acted like that stereotype was one of the Ten Commandments.
She went on a one-woman mission, like a horny Rambo, to prove that female reporters only do one thing all day, apparently, which is sleep with their sources.
Now, you probably remember the story that broke last year about Olivia Newsy's romantic relationship with RFK Jr.
So it was a clear conflict of interest.
Newsy had been assigned to cover RFK's campaign.
She wrote an article that was highly critical of Joe Biden.
And the whole time, she was engaged in some kind of inappropriate relationship with RFK Jr.
The details of it are mercifully have not been disclosed fully as far as I know.
According to Newsy, she was involved in a non-physical personal relationship with RFK Jr.
And someone else described the relationship as an emotional and digital, emotional and digital in nature, kind of like a Manti-Teo situation.
And whether you find that explanation believable or not, it was obviously a highly embarrassing situation for everybody involved, including Olivia's employer, New York Magazine, which quickly cut her loose.
Now, speaking for myself, naively, I assume that, well, after this embarrassing episode, this scandal, she's in some kind of personal relationship with someone she's supposed to be covering in politics.
I thought, well, she would, you know, she's going to, she's done in the business.
She'll flee into obscurity and she'll have no choice following the revelation that she was getting intimate with RFK Jr., someone she was assigned to cover in an objective fashion.
But apparently, she did not flee into obscurity, nor did she suffer any consequences at all because journalism has no standards at all.
And therefore, she now works at Vanity Fair, and she's apparently coming out with a new book where she makes herself a hero and victim of her own scandal.
And the book is called American Kanto.
Now, not to be outdone, her ex-fiancé Ryan Lizza just published an expose where he reveals that Olivia also had a sexual relationship with former MSNBC host Keith Olbermann.
In addition to, on top of that, former South Carolina governor Mark Sanford in 2020 while she was covering his presidential campaign.
So here's what Lizza wrote.
I don't do many dramatic readings for romance novels or anything like that, so bear with me here.
I'll just read it as it was written.
Quote, Olivia had just returned from a reporting trip.
At least that's what she told me it was.
And her Herschel backpack, the one with the flap that never quite closed properly, was tossed beside our bed, its contents scattered on the floor.
That's when I noticed the sheets of Kimpton Hotel stationery that would alter the course of our lives.
As I tied it up the desk, something on the Kimpton stationery caught my eye.
I started to read.
Quote, if I swallowed every drop of water from the tower above your house, Olivia had written, I would still thirst for you.
Unfortunately, the lack of a water tower on our Georgetown's home ruled me out as the note's intended recipient.
I flipped to another page and saw a name in the first line of an unfinished love letter to him that included enough details to confirm a physical relationship and the hint of some kind of falling out.
My heart stopped when I realized who he was.
I looked at the date on a reported letter to Mark, March 5th, 2020, just a few days ago.
I called my agent.
We have a big problem, I said.
Olivia is sleeping with Mark Sanford.
Close quote.
And his article stops there.
The big M. Night Shyamalon twist ending.
Because I think when you're reading it, you're supposed to think that he's talking about RFK Jr.
And then turns out that, no, it's a diff, this says that it's actually a different politician that she was sleeping with.
Now, after Ryan Lizza published this article, a lot of people rediscovered this exchange on social media from back in 2019.
Olivia wrote, I spent some time in South Carolina with Mark Sanford for New York Magazine.
And then somebody writes, hey, he looks happy.
And Olivia Newser replies, I tend to have that effect.
Well, now we know what she meant by that.
And just in case anyone was wondering about that, but Liz's tell all didn't stop there.
He also wrote this section about Olivia's relationship with Keith Olberman, which is somehow even more horrifying.
Quote, I was used to cleaning up Olivia's messes.
Not that long ago, I had helped her untangle herself from an unusual relationship with Keith Olbermann, the former MSNBC host.
She had messaged him out of the blue.
They started talking, and soon after, she fled her unhappy home in suburban New Jersey and started living with Keith in Manhattan.
He paid for her to attend college, outfitted her and Tom Ford, and some $15,000 worth of Cartier jewelry.
Later, he covered her rent and furnished her apartment in a doorman building in the West Village.
While Keith, who was 34 years older, was generous, there were strings attached.
Olivia had concealed the relationship from me and other friends, but one day she told me everything, too much actually, and together we hatched a plan for her escape.
Now, Keith Olberman is, of course, a grotesque, angry, bloated blob of a man who lives alone with his cats and spends his days sitting in a rocking chair, screaming out the window at random passersby.
What Olivia found appealing about a man who looks and sounds like a giant half-sentient wart, I have no idea.
All I know is that Keith and Olivia together must have combined to create the most insufferable combination of human beings ever assembled on earth.
I actually feel bad for the cats that they had to live through that.
So in case it's not obvious, just to summarize, this is a classic case of nobody to root for.
A lot of very terrible people are cheating and lying and getting away with it scot-free.
And it gets even worse when you look at the excerpts that have been posted from Olivia's new book.
And here's one of them.
Again, I'm not a professional audiobook reader for a dime store romance novel, so I'm going to do my best here.
But this is an actual excerpt from this book that she's just came out or it's going to come out soon.
This is what it says.
I mean to tell you of the canyon where voices carried, the place where monsters spoke to me, where I listened, where I found that, as fortune or curse would have it, I knew the language of monsters, where with news on my tongue and tears in my eyes, the role of town crier I interpret literally.
I ran back over the hill to translate for those who could not stomach the thought of standing face to face with monsters, but who required knowledge of monsters as the monsters accrued ever more power, as they revealed or converted ever more monsters among men.
Now, I read through that a couple times.
Not exactly clear what she's talking about.
What I can say for certain is that Olivia Newsy's book is clearly like self-serious, pretentious, melodramatic in the extreme, and very poorly written.
Okay.
News on my tongue and tears in my eyes.
I mean, oh my gosh.
And somehow that made it past an editor?
I mean, do editors exist anymore?
Is everyone just using ChatGPT?
Have the editors already been put out of business, I guess?
How are you an editor and you let that get by you?
Not to mention a sentence that uses the word monster like 12 times.
News on my tongue and tears in my eyes.
Now, I guess if I had to come up with a compliment, I'd say it probably wasn't written by AI because AI, for all its horrors, isn't that bad.
Like even ChatGPT could probably come up with something better.
It reads like a seventh grade girl doing an impression of Taylor Swift doing an impression of Cormac McCarthy.
It is unreadable, annoying, and incoherent, which is to say, it's modern journalism in a nutshell.
And as perhaps the last man alive who has not been involved in any kind of relationship with Olivia Newsy, I simply can't stand for it.
And that is why Olivia Newsy, Keith Olbermann, Ryan Lizza, everyone else who's remotely involved in this sordid and deeply depressing soap opera are today canceled.
That'll do it for the show today.
Thanks for watching.
Thanks for listening.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Have a great day.
Godspeed.
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