Matt Walsh doesn't believe in New Year's Resolutions, but his crew decided to pitch him some ideas anyways. ExpressVPN - Go to https://expressvpn.com/walshYT and find out how you can get 3 months of ExpressVPN free!
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|---|---|
| Okay, Happy New Year, everybody. | |
| As you get into a new year, people like to do New Year's Resolutions. | |
| And I am not, probably just surprised you learned, I'm not a big New Year's Resolution guy. | |
| I don't believe in them. | |
| But I guess apparently my team thinks that there are many things that I should resolve to do in the next year. | |
| So although I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions, I've been told that they have come up with New Year's Resolutions for me. | |
| And I think I know exactly how this is gonna go. | |
| But who knows? | |
| I couldn't be surprised. | |
| [MUSIC PLAYING] | |
| So this first one is coming from Holly. | |
| And this resolution that she wants to give you is be more observant. | |
| Are you saying that I'm not observant? | |
| Would you like an example of you not being observant? | |
| Oh, is that what this is? | |
| I should have known. | |
| I should have known. | |
| Okay. | |
| Let's see. | |
| I sometimes doubt the value of honesty in marriage, and I'll just explain why. | |
| Like, for example, yesterday I got home from traveling. | |
| I was traveling over the weekend, and a few hours after I got home, my wife said to me, hey, so you didn't say anything about my hair, okay? | |
| This is where I was going to be honest. | |
| And I said, what about your hair? | |
| And she said, I dyed it. | |
| You know, it's brown now. | |
| It was blonde before. | |
| And then I said, it was blonde before? | |
| And then I realized I should stop saying things in that moment. | |
| But here's my point. | |
| I was honest for the whole conversation. | |
| I was completely honest. | |
| First of all, I don't think that's an issue of being observant. | |
| As you know, number one, one of my disabilities of many is colorblindness. | |
| I don't know what color my wife's hair is. | |
| I have no idea. | |
| I know it's some shade of brownish blonde. | |
| I literally can't tell. | |
| It's not my fault. | |
| And it's not that I'm not observant. | |
| I observe different things, okay? | |
| We all choose in life what things to focus on. | |
| And so there are things that I don't focus on. | |
| There are things that I don't notice. | |
| It might also be I just don't care. | |
| It could also be that. | |
| I don't care! | |
| I don't care! | |
| Okay, so the second resolution that we have for you is actually coming from myself, and this is going to be Be More Consistent. | |
| Can I just say, I don't like the Daylight Savings slander and defamation that goes on. | |
| It's something that we do. | |
| It's a sacred tradition. | |
| It's the sacred tradition of our forefathers. | |
| It would keep us stuck in Daylight Savings eternally. | |
| Yet the Daylight Savings tradition continued, lingering on, hanging there uselessly like some kind of vestigial limb, and it was time to end it. | |
| I don't hear any inconsistency there. | |
| What's the inconsistency? | |
| Well, the inconsistency is before you said you liked it, and then the next year you said you didn't. | |
| It's not inconsistent. | |
| It's emotions. | |
| Like, I do have emotions also, and I might not seem like that. | |
| And so sometimes, you know, I just, I get caught up in the moment sometimes. | |
| So what I'm hearing is you're also not emotionally consistent. | |
| No, but here's what I'm saying. | |
| I have a consistent view of what daylight savings is, as you just heard, but how I personally experience it and feel about it changes because I'm a living, vibrant human being. | |
| Everything I'm saying makes sense. | |
| I'm sure of it. | |
| Okay. | |
| The third one is coming from Sean, and this is just a blanket one. | |
| We don't have a specific example, but it's just, in general, can you be more agreeable? | |
| First of all, how is that the one that you don't have examples of? | |
| No, I can't. | |
| That's just a flat no. | |
| No way! | |
| Okay, so the next one is, be less offensive. | |
| This is coming from your lawyers. | |
| Undermine the voting power, which is the essence of a democracy. | |
| Those eyebrows are basically, that's January 6th all over again. | |
| Those arms, can I even call those withered things arms? | |
| He's literally built like Gumby. | |
| The best argument for taking voting rights away from women is actually the view, so that's kind of the irony here. | |
| These must be the dog-faced pony soldiers that Biden warned us about, if only we had listened. | |
| I mean, what I take from that is they need to be more offensive, actually, if anything. | |
| Can we just make that a video? | |
| Can we do a 20-minute compilation? | |
| No. | |
| I forgot about that arm. | |
| I've never seen an arm with less definition. | |
| It's just the same exact width the whole way up. | |
| It's an amazing arm. | |
| I've never seen an arm like that. | |
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| All right, so we have the next one coming from both Pavel and Austin, and this one is be on time. | |
| No. | |
| I, you know, I can't. | |
| I can't. | |
| This might be the most annoying one of the year. | |
| Well, no, we just can't. | |
| We just can't. | |
| You don't understand. | |
| So, you're supposed to start your show at 10 a.m. | |
| every day, and we have a bunch of screenshots from our production reports showing when you actually start. | |
| So we have 1051 a.m., 1029 a.m., 1024 a.m., 1029 a.m., 1041 a.m., 1035 a.m., and these are all just from this month. | |
| 1024 a.m. 1029 a.m. 1041 a.m. 1035 a.m. and these are all just from this month. | |
| You know, no one's not it's impossible even I cannot be perfect so that's the one area the | |
| one area in life is my job. | |
| The one area where there are people waiting on me and people depending on me, that's the only area where I'm not on time. | |
| I'm hopelessly flawed. | |
| The show's supposed to start at 10 o'clock, right? | |
| And based on what you just showed, I'm always in the 10 o'clock hour, so I think I'm close enough that I could say, oh, the show started at about 10 o'clock. | |
| No, yeah, because if something happens at like 10.32 and you're telling somebody about it later in the day, and they ask you, oh, when did that happen? | |
| You say, oh, it was about 10 o'clock. | |
| I don't think 10.51 counts as about 10 o'clock. | |
| That counts as about 11 o'clock. | |
| No, you'd say it's around 10 o'clock, 10 o'clock hour, somewhere in there. | |
| That's what you would say. | |
| So I'm already pretty much on time all the time, except when I'm not. | |
| Okay, and this one is coming from the Crane Boys. | |
| They wanted you to learn to laugh more and also stop being a Ravens fan. | |
| No. | |
| I do. | |
| I don't think it's not. | |
| I do laugh. | |
| Once every three or four months. | |
| You have to catch me. | |
| You have to catch me when I have a scheduled laugh. | |
| I schedule it. | |
| I have it on my calendar. | |
| I don't know about that. | |
| Not sure about that one. | |
| That guy's a little crazy. | |
| You just choose one of those, cut out the other ones. | |
| So this one is coming from Michael Knowles, and this is because he's such a music enthusiast, he would really like to encourage you this year to learn the banjo. | |
| For real. | |
| Not only did I already learn it, are we going to play that video to prove? | |
| First of all, you didn't prepare me because I could have come up with my own evidence to support my arguments. | |
| But not only did I learn it, but I actually played. | |
| It is an actual fact. | |
| I played the banjo with a professional With one of the top banjo players in the world. | |
| So I can't learn it again. | |
| You learn it. | |
| It's learned. | |
| Okay, so this next one is coming from basically just literally everyone. | |
| It's be more approachable. | |
| Before the event, we had our VIP meet and greet, which was kind of a receiving line. | |
| And I, you know, I have to say, I know I talk about how I'm an introvert, but I thought I was being pretty jovial. | |
| By my standards, you know, I had the small talk down with each person. | |
| It was like 350 people in a row, but people kept coming up to me, even still, and saying, like each person that came up would console me, saying, oh, this will be over soon, don't worry about it. | |
| They were consoling me because I was being forced to meet them. | |
| I thought, am I really giving off those vibes? | |
| I thought I'm doing pretty well here. | |
| It's true. | |
| Even the most outgoing person, you put them in a room, and then you have a single file line, and you have to have a brief exchange with each person in that line as they file through the line. | |
| It's hard to do. | |
| And then on top of it, here's the other problem. | |
| You try to have a little small talk exchange with each person. | |
| But the other people in the line, especially the people who are closer to the front, they can hear your exchange with the person who you're with. | |
| And so you feel like you have to kind of change it, like you can't say the exact same thing with each person. | |
| And I don't know, I just don't have that many things in the arsenal when it comes to small talk. | |
| That's not my fault. | |
| I don't think that's a lack of approachability. | |
| It's a lack of ammunition, of small talk ammunition. | |
| There's only so much you can say. | |
| But generally speaking, I'm very approachable. | |
| I'm a really nice guy, I think. | |
| I did actually just get a bonus one though from Ben Shapiro. | |
| It's actually, this is a really easy one. | |
| All it says is get back to work. | |
| That I can do. | |
| I would love to do that. | |
| Let's do that. | |
| Good. |