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June 19, 2023 - The Matt Walsh Show
11:39
'I Lived With A Stinkbug, AITA?' Matt Walsh Decides

Matt Walsh decides who the a-hole is. Get 3 Months FREE of ExpressVPN: https://bit.ly/3VeHvZM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Time Text
There you are.
Did you make another child cry?
Oh, it's not my fault the kids are crying, baby.
You're an a**hole.
You're an a**hole.
You are an a**hole.
We are going right to M.I.
the A-hole.
From Bob says, Hey Matt, I have two M.I.
the A-hole questions.
I travel occasionally for work and I spent some time in Kentucky.
When I returned home to Ohio, I apparently brought a stink bug back with me in my luggage.
The stink bug kept appearing randomly in our house.
And my daughter who loves bugs gave it a name, Roger.
My wife wanted me to get rid of the stink bug or put it outside in the freezing cold to die and I refused.
It's not hurting anyone and keeps to itself.
This poor bug has traveled across two states and successfully hid in our house for a month and my daughter even named it.
So I told my wife I would not let it go until it gets warmer outside.
I know this is a weird story but am I the a-hole for allowing it to live peacefully in our home?
Uh, you're the a-hole for making me read that entire thing, thinking that there was some sort of good punchline.
Like, why am I reading?
Why am I spending, it felt like, hours reading that story about a stink bug in your house and there's no... Like, I thought the punchline was it ended up in somebody's food and they ate it or like something like that.
Just kill the bug.
It's a bug, alright?
Just kill it.
You don't want stink bugs in your house, okay?
Those of us who have had, you know, real stink... We've lived in parts of the country that have a real stink bug problem, and we've had them in the house.
It's not cute, okay?
Just kill the damn bug, and it'll be fine.
They don't have feelings, anyway.
They're not self-aware.
It makes no difference if it's a stink bug, whether it's alive or dead.
So, I don't know if that makes you feel any better, but that's just what you should do.
My second question is a little different.
Me and my dad are both huge fans of The Daily Wire, and especially you.
I'm a paying member.
My dad is not.
He listens to the free shows on YouTube every day.
He really wants to see your movie, What Is A Woman?, but I refuse to let him use my membership to watch it and tell him that if he wants to see it, then he should support the company and get a membership.
Am I the a-hole for not letting him be a bum and watch it for free, or should he have to pay for the membership?
Also, this is not a situation where he can't afford a membership.
He's just being cheap.
Okay, that's a much better story, because it all comes back to me, so it makes it more interesting.
No, you're not dayhole on that one.
So, you are dayhole on one, not on the other, so you kind of cancel out.
But it's a bit of a controversy, you know, and I hear this from people sometimes.
They want people to see what is a woman, for example, or some of the other great content the other guys offer, and it's like, well, should I just show it to them, let them have my password, or should I make them get a membership?
And I think that If there's no financial obstacle for your father and he's a big fan and a supporter, then he should get the membership and stop being a cheap ass.
You can tell him I said that.
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From Zachary, Dear Matt, My wife and I got married after only knowing each other for a few months.
I told her we should wait, but she insisted.
She had three kids going and I have one.
Everything went fine until it came time for parenting strategies to present themselves.
Both our sons had suffered tremendously mentally from what I believe was our inability to be cohesive.
I told my wife we needed to be firm, and what we agreed upon together is how to parent and not sway.
I would periodically find out that she would not enforce our rules when I wasn't around, which resulted in many arguments behind closed doors.
I ultimately told her that I couldn't do this anymore if things wouldn't change.
The deciding event was when my son was physically beaten up by her son, and she believed her son acted in self-defense, to which I reiterate that we don't condone violence of any kind in our household, and both should be punished.
She didn't agree, so I declared that I wanted a divorce and swiftly moved out with my son.
Am I the a-hole?
Yes.
Yes, you are.
As always with these things, I must begin with the disclaimer that I'm only getting one side of the story, but in this case, I'm getting your side of the story, and so I have to assume that you're giving me the most generous version of events, most generous to yourself, because that's what people tend to do, right?
And even based on that, I would say that, yeah, you are being the a-hole.
On a number of levels, Zachary, first of all, you don't threaten divorce like that.
You don't use it as a weapon in an argument, and you did that.
And you use it as a weapon in an argument over parenting strategies, which is the kind of thing that every married couple has disputes about that.
Some disputes are more serious than others, depending on What exactly is the subject of it?
But every married couple, this is like a tension that you have.
You're different people and so you'll have slightly different ideas about how to parent and what's the best way to handle certain situations and what should punishments be and what sort of things should be punished and all that kind of stuff.
To throw out a divorce threat is way over the line, and then you actually moved out of the house and said you wanted a divorce because you disagreed on the parenting thing.
I mean, you're married, you made a vow to this woman, you made a promise, and that's supposed to mean something.
It should mean something because you made the promise and you made the vow.
You should also want to demonstrate to your son what it means to be a man of your word.
And so you fight for your marriage.
And you try to work through this.
It's not like what you've told me about here.
This is not, there is nothing about this that's really, you know, we hear about
irreconcilable differences, which I don't believe in that really, but this definitely
is not irreconcilable.
And also I gotta tell you, I think you're wrong too when it comes to this situation
with your son.
And first, I mean, it's a problem that you're referring to as her son and my son, okay?
You're married, so they should both be your sons.
But this dispute between the two boys, I think you're wrong on this.
Now, I don't know who's actually at fault.
I have no idea.
But if it's true that your son attacked his brother, And that his brother was defending himself, then that matters.
I don't know if it is true, but you're saying it doesn't matter at all.
That if you engage in violence at all, you're equally punished.
Really?
So, if a kid goes along and instigates it, and initiates the violence by punching another kid in the face, and that kid responds, you think they both should be equally punished, as if they're both equally in the wrong?
They clearly are not equally in the wrong.
It does matter who started it.
This idea that it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter who started it.
Of course it matters who started it.
Now, if someone else starts it, that doesn't mean that whatever you do in response is automatically justified, but it does matter who started it.
That is a detail that really matters.
It matters morally.
I mean, in a court of law situation, it matters legally, and it should matter.
So, I just think you're wrong across the board.
I've got to be totally honest with you.
All right, finally, from Dan says, Matt, you seem like the best person to ask if I'm the asshole because my situation is about a conversation about a video on YouTube.
An acquaintance of mine posted a group chat that her TEDx presentation was live on YouTube.
She asked people to check it out, like, comment, and share.
The message was during the workday, and I write code for work.
After about 40 minutes after she sent the news, I had a moment where I could listen to the video while I worked.
I noticed that the TEDx people made a mistake when editing the video and left a portion that was not supposed to be there.
The bit that shouldn't have been included showed the acquaintance getting upset with herself for messing up her line.
Then it cuts to her repeating herself and saying her lines correctly.
I sent the following message, quote, Around 5.03 they left in a part where you get upset with yourself for messing up.
I recognized that my message was short and I'm not a YouTuber.
I don't know the level of involvement in fixing an editing error.
I intended to provide the exact time stamp and the issue as quickly as possible so that she could have the necessary information if she would contact them to fix it.
Her response was, quote, You're actually the worst.
Actually.
I let things go, but someone else said, why?
Sometimes we should just keep things to ourselves.
I responded, I figured maybe they could fix it.
I understand how my message's brevity could be misinterpreted.
Am I the a-hole for not spending more time to develop a longer message?
Maybe I'm the a-hole because I shouldn't have provided any feedback unless I also had the time to write a lengthier response that included uplifting language.
Ultimately, even though I can understand how my message could be misinterpreted, I don't think her reaction could be interpreted in any other way other than rude.
You make videos constantly for public consumption.
Do you think my feedback is helpful at all?
This is a hard one for me to judge, actually.
I know you think that I'm a perfect one to judge because I make content all the time, and so I get feedback from people all the time, and that's true.
But that also has made me... I'm just... I'm not a normal person when it comes to this kind of... Because I put creative content out into the world every single day.
And so for most people, you know, she did a TEDx and she felt very excited about it.
And this might be the first time she's ever had a video that's on YouTube.
Right. And and so this was like a bigger deal to her.
And so she wanted a bigger response.
Now, I think putting you in a position where you have to watch someone's TEDx presentation, that already makes her
the a-hole.
Like that's puts you in an awkward spot.
And if you have a TEDx presentation, yeah, yeah.
Your friends and your family, you can send it to them and you can you can burden them with that.
But to put an acquaintance in a spot where they have to watch it.
So, like, I'm already kind of on your side because she shouldn't have done it.
She's the a-hole just for that alone.
Nobody wants to watch your TEDx talk.
Nobody does.
But the only people who should have to watch it are those who are close to you.
But your acquaintance, you should make them do that.
However, because I make content all the time, I appreciate just quick, basic feedback like that.
And if there's an error somewhere or something that needs to be cut out, and someone says, oh, you messed up that part, I'm fine with that.
Because I don't need all the big speech.
I don't need you to pretend.
I don't need you to, well, that was great.
I loved it.
No, just get to the point.
If there's something there that I can change, just tell me, OK?
That's how I feel about it.
But I think for most people, when you make something creative, it's kind of a vulnerable spot.
You're putting yourself out there.
And so if you're going to give feedback, especially if it's to a woman, then If you want it to be received well, then yeah, it does help to preface it with something.
So you could have said something like, this was great, you're such a great public speaker.
By the way, not sure if it's something that can be fixed, but there's a little flub there at 503, maybe they can cut it out.
Something like that probably would have been received a little bit better.
Just add the, you know, that's what they're looking for, is just that she's looking for, there's only reason.
Look, nobody, here's the other thing.
Almost nobody really wants honest feedback about anything.
Nobody really, they say that, but they don't really.
They just want you to compliment it, and especially if it's something creative like that, they just want to be complimented.
So, you're borderline.
I don't know, I'll give you a... It's borderline on the edge, but she wins out as the a-hole here for making you watch the TEDx in the first place.
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