Matt Walsh responds to some relationship and parenting advice questions from his audience. Do you have a question for Matt? Become a member at Dailywireplus.com and use promo code MATT for 2 months free off an annual plan! Switch to PureTalk and get 50% off your first month. Use promo code Walsh at checkout! https://bit.ly/42PmqaX Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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| I'm looking for Matt, and I don't know if you're the right man, but I need to speak to you right now, please! | |
| Okay, we'll go to the email to find some people that are seeking advice on various different issues in their life. | |
| This is from Isaac, says, Dear Sweet Daddy, the guest preacher at the last worship service my college's ministry holds spoke about the Apostle Paul's message in 1 Corinthians chapter 8 about how a married person's attention is divided between God and their spouse, and so Paul says it is better to remain single. | |
| The preacher and his wife of 18 years then encouraged us to enjoy singleness and to not rush to get married too soon. | |
| However, I've also read passages about how it's good to get married, and I'm having trouble reconciling these two sentiments. | |
| Should I wait to seek a wife until I'm older? | |
| And how soon in a relationship is too soon for marriage, in your opinion? | |
| How soon is too soon? | |
| I feel like that question comes up in every segment we do, but I've said I think six months for engagement. | |
| There's no exact time frame, and I'm biased because I'm only telling you. | |
| What happened for me, but I think six months is enough time to discern that you want to get engaged, and then you get engaged, but you don't need to be engaged for five years either. | |
| As to what the pastor said, you know, I think that it's at the best naive in the extreme, unhelpful, you know, in this environment. | |
| You're talking to young people, so you said you're a college student, right, so you're a young adult, and just have the message be enjoy singleness. | |
| I certainly hope there was at least more to it than that. | |
| It's not so easy, especially from everything that I hear from single people all the time that are looking for someone to just enjoy it and enjoy being alone, especially when most of us have this longing to find a companion that's very natural and to just say, oh, I'll just enjoy. | |
| I enjoy being single out in this decaying society of ours. | |
| So I think that's at best naive, and it's also a misinterpretation of that particular passage of 1 Corinthians. | |
| It's a very specific situation, a moment in time. | |
| Not that it has no application outside of that, but he's talking to people in a specific situation that I don't think is intended for you to be taken as a young adult in modern American 2023. | |
| I don't think that that verse is the Apostle Paul telling you that it's better if you don't get married. | |
| There are some people who are called to that, where you are called to a life of service outside of marriage, but for most people that's not your vocation, that's not what you're called to. | |
| You should discern whether that's the case, but it sounds like for you, you know you want to get married eventually, so that's not the case for you. | |
| Also, in that same verse, if I'm not mistaken, I could look it up, but right after saying that, he also mentions that even in that context in which he was writing, if not getting married is going to lead you into sin, into sexual sin, now you're having sexual relations outside of marriage and that sort of thing, if that's where it's going to lead you to, then it's better to get married. | |
| He even says that in that passage. | |
| Um, and I don't think that that's the only reason to get married, but it is also true. | |
| Trying to be chased and observe biblical sexual morality as a young single adult in modern America is a very difficult thing. | |
| And to just think that that's good for a pastor to say, well, do that indefinitely, um, is not very practical. | |
| I don't think it's good advice. | |
| Man, that's some bad advice. | |
| So I think already as a young adult, you know, you're thinking about marriage and you get into the dating scene with that in mind. | |
| And it doesn't mean that the first person you go on a date with, you're going to get married to. | |
| It's just that that's the end goal you have in mind. | |
| And you are, you know, it's like a, it's a mutual job interview. | |
| How are you? | |
| I'm fine. | |
| Are you fine? | |
| Yeah. | |
| You're fine then. | |
| Where you are seeing if each other are the right fit for marriage down the line. | |
| But it's important to have that end goal in mind. | |
| To know, so you're dating with a purpose. | |
| You know what this is supposed to be leading to. | |
| You know the kind of standard that you're looking for. | |
| And there's no reason why you can't start thinking about that right now. | |
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| Rachel says, Hi Matt, I'm in the military, currently stationed overseas, and I'll be getting stationed in Alaska three months from now. | |
| I'm in a relationship with a man that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with, but he was sent to be stationed in the southeastern U.S. | |
| a few months ago. | |
| We still talk on the phone nearly every day since he left, and we watch movies and shows together on video chat. | |
| We send each other books to read and songs to listen to, all of which I'm beyond grateful for, but I'm so scared that the distance will eventually cause us to drift apart and I'll lose him forever. | |
| He's given me no reason to think this way. | |
| He always expresses that he misses me and that he loves talking to me, and he's even told me that he doesn't want to lose me either. | |
| I'm trying to just enjoy every moment I share with him, but there are times that the fear of losing him is too overwhelming. | |
| Do you have any advice for pushing past this fear or on keeping a long-distance relationship strong? | |
| Over a long period of time. | |
| I guess sort of similar advice to what I just gave. | |
| I think that, I don't know how long you guys were dating before you ended up being sent to different parts of the world. | |
| In any dating situation, it's important to have that end goal in mind. | |
| And for you both to understand that that's what you're working towards, is eventually getting engaged and getting married. | |
| If either one of you has ruled that out as a possibility, or you have no interest in even thinking about marriage right now, then that's something that should be communicated to the other. | |
| Because that means that this is a relationship doomed to fail, and it's probably better to just cut it off now. | |
| Cut it out! | |
| Get out of here! | |
| Or you can hang on until the heartbreak comes down the line. | |
| So that's the case in any dating relationship, but I think especially in a situation like this, where you guys are time zones apart, it's important to have that end goal in mind. | |
| So I would start talking about that, if you haven't already. | |
| And I think that gives you your best chance when you both know where this is leading, what you want for the future. | |
| It's not like this open-ended. | |
| So having an open-ended, ambiguous kind of relationship is potentially fatal to the relationship in any context, but especially when you're not even physically around each other. | |
| So that's one thing I would certainly do. | |
| All right. |