Use code "WALSHYT" at checkout for additional savings on your entire purchase! https://genucel.com/walshyt Matt Walsh reads Am I The A**hole quandaries from his fans and decides who the a-hole is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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| I wanna go and, uh, take a look at some M.I. | |
| the A-hole quandaries that have been sent our way, and it's been a few weeks since we've had a chance to answer these. | |
| So, we'll start with Kat, who says, Hi Matt, I've been listening to you for a long time. | |
| I appreciate your ability to articulate sound judgment. | |
| I began to follow you when I read the article you wrote after Bruce Jenner came out as Caitlyn. | |
| Absolutely perfect. | |
| I was hoping to get your take on a situation that's still a little contentious in my marriage. | |
| My husband's an avid fantasy football player. | |
| He typically wins a decent amount of money while doing so. | |
| We've only been married a short while, so in the past he's always kept his winnings for himself. | |
| However, we have a son together, plus he has a daughter from a previous relationship, and we have some debt. | |
| This year, when he won his fantasy football money, since I manage the finances, I asked him to put the money in savings or put it towards some of the debt. | |
| He said it was his money, that he won it, and that it was extra. | |
| He and I have a different definition of extra. | |
| Extra to me would be cash that isn't needed elsewhere. | |
| Since we do need it elsewhere, it isn't extra. | |
| He spent most of the money on a VR gaming system. | |
| We got into a huge fight because I was upset that he bought it. | |
| I accused him of being selfish and only thinking of himself. | |
| I shouldn't have been so harsh with my words, but at the same time, I believe as a man, as the leader of our home, he should be concerned about finances and want to give to his family before himself. | |
| He accused me of only caring about money, which is not true, but I do manage the finances. | |
| I don't like managing the finances, but truthfully, he can't be trusted. | |
| He came from a poor town in New Mexico. | |
| His father died when he was very young, so from his perspective, he says he struggled his whole life. | |
| He knows what it's like and he will manage, but those don't seem like words of wisdom to me. | |
| If he knows what it is like to struggle, then he should do everything in his power to avoid said struggle for his kids. | |
| So, who's the a-hole, is what you're asking? | |
| Well, the good news is that you probably won't be surprised to learn this. | |
| You are not the first married couple to have a dispute about something like this, about money. | |
| Money fight! | |
| This is one of those things where I am only getting one side of the story. | |
| I'm guessing if I were to talk to him, he would probably fill me in on some details that you've left out. | |
| And not because you're trying to be dishonest, but because you, you know, we're all biased in our own favor, naturally. | |
| But based on what you've told me, I would say you're not the A-hole. | |
| And I would give two reasons. | |
| One is that in a functioning marriage and a healthy marriage, There's no such thing as, well, this is my money. | |
| This is just mine. | |
| Money has to be shared. | |
| It just has to be in a marriage. | |
| That's how you have to see it. | |
| And once you start playing this game of this is all mine, you're headed to a dark place and it's like nothing good can come of it. | |
| You have to have the attitude of this is our money. | |
| It's for the family. | |
| Which doesn't mean that as a member of a marriage, you can't spend some money, quote, on yourself and buy some things that you want to buy for yourself. | |
| But it should all go to the same place, the same bank accounts that you all have access to. | |
| Nobody's hiding money. | |
| No one's keeping it off in some, you know, locked away so the other person can't access it. | |
| I think once you start going down that path, it's just not, nothing good comes of it. | |
| And I also think you're right about the VR thing, too. | |
| People know that I'm not a video game fan myself. | |
| I don't play them. | |
| But with the VR thing, that goes to another level, right? | |
| Because now you're talking about a headset. | |
| So now you're completely removing yourself from your physical environment. | |
| What's the moderate amount, what's the correct amount of putting on a VR headset as an adult and a father in your home? | |
| Maybe there's a, you can practice moderation with something like that too, but you'd have to really, really, really limit your time. | |
| And already the financial investment, you know, spending hundreds of dollars when you've got these other financial obligations you have to meet, that already tells you that this is not a moderate thing. | |
| So, I'm gonna be on your side on this one. | |
| Gotcha, covered. | |
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| From Anonymous says, Am I the a-hole for sometimes blocking the sidewalk in my neighborhood? | |
| There are full adults living in my home at the moment. | |
| Full adults. | |
| As opposed to half adults? | |
| Myself and my husband, my brother and my sister-in-law. | |
| My brother and sister-in-law are both in college and work jobs. | |
| My husband and I also have full-time jobs, thus we have four cars that are necessary for all of us to function in society. | |
| The HOA has a rule that if you park on the street, you'll get ticketed or towed. | |
| We've received multiple tickets from doing this, so instead, at night when we're all home, one of us parks in the garage and three park in the driveway, which causes one of the cars to block the sidewalk. | |
| Now, there's a state regulation that asks no one to block sidewalks for any reason. | |
| I believe it's the Disability Act. | |
| However, it's not enforced and there's no one in my area of the neighborhood who's in a wheelchair or anything like that. | |
| However, my neighbors are extremely annoyed that we blocked the sidewalk at night. | |
| It first began with them sending pictures to HOA and those photos being sent to my landlord by the HOA. | |
| Then they left a note on my windshield saying that it is absurd that we blocked the sidewalk and that the whole street asks us to stop. | |
| Yesterday, they tagged my husband and I in a Facebook post that reminds people in the neighborhood not to block the sidewalk with a caption that says, please read this. | |
| I was shocked by this because I've never even met these people, so I have no idea how they know our names. | |
| After we didn't respond, one of them waited for my sister-in-law to come home so they could yell at her to stop parking on the street. | |
| She says that a child almost got hit by a car recently and that old people have to walk around our cars. | |
| Are we the a**holes for blocking our sidewalk when we truly are not given any other option? | |
| No, you're not. | |
| And look, You're doing it at night, right? | |
| So you're parking the cars like that at night. | |
| You don't have any other option. | |
| What else are you supposed to do? | |
| It's not actually affecting anybody else. | |
| And so these are our neighbors that are looking for a problem and getting annoyed by something that doesn't affect them in the slightest. | |
| You need to calm down. | |
| It also jumps out at me that you said that your neighbors don't know your name. | |
| And I'll admit, I've been guilty of this. | |
| But it used to be that, you know, it used to be kind of like unthinkable that you would live in a neighborhood and you wouldn't even know the names of the people who live around you. | |
| But now it's pretty common. | |
| Like, you'll live in a neighborhood, you can live there for years and not even know anyone around you. | |
| You never talk to them. | |
| And so that's bad enough. | |
| The only time they take an interest in you is to complain about how you parked your car. | |
| Now, there are the a-holes for sure. | |
| Finally from Aaliyah says, I'm the newest roommate in a college house with three other girls and being in college I know that people are going to drink on the weekends. | |
| But one of my roommates came home one night so drunk that she relieved herself on the kitchen floor. | |
| I reached out to my landlord to try getting her kicked out because she refused to clean it. | |
| Okay. | |
| And I was forced to clean it the next morning. | |
| Am I the a-hole for trying to get this girl who has been at the house the longest evicted since I'm the newest tenant at this house? | |
| Um, no? | |
| Are you even considering the possibility that you might be in the wrong on this one? | |
| So you are on your hands and knees on the kitchen floor cleaning up someone else's urine, I'm assuming it was urine, and you want the person who peed on the floor like a dog kick that out, and you're thinking to yourself, you might be in the wrong? | |
| No, you're 100% in the right. | |
| The part that blows my mind, I mean the whole thing, relieving yourself on the kitchen floor is already disgusting, but she refused to clean it? | |
| How did that conversation work? | |
| Hello? | |
| Drunk. | |
| I assume you went up to her, right? | |
| Some kind of conversation where you said, you urinated all over the kitchen floor, can you clean it please? | |
| And she said, no. | |
| I wouldn't want to live with this person for sanitation reasons, but also just because this is someone who's mentally unstable. | |
| I don't find this funny anymore. | |
| It never was supposed to be. | |
| And given the reaction, like she sobers up the next day and refuses to clean it. | |
| That blows my mind. | |
| So, no, you are relieved of that moral burden. | |
| I guess everybody was during this segment. | |
| It's always fun when we can do that. | |
| And we'll leave it there for today. | |
| Godspeed. |